Painkiller Already - PKN #36
Episode Date: April 29, 2015In this weeks episode of PKN, the sickness is almost all gone!...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
and here we are painkiller nearly episode 36 uh kyle's here and uh thankfully merca made it
whoa what's up taylor i'm good glad to have you here i got off of work
it uh it seems like there's either something wrong with your mic or maybe woody is doing
his merca voice right now i'm not sure which i'll see if i can fix it okay good to know all right very good murk is that better
murka i think you broke it i don't think we're losing him all right so that was our murka
appearance i guess it was a week or two ago that we told people on the subreddit to give him shit.
And then when they started doing it,
I had completely forgotten.
I was like, why is it?
They usually like Mirka.
They're just like, get on PKN, you lazy fuck.
It was like, whoa.
Yeah, I forgot about that too.
Like this show is recorded at different times in the week
and sometimes it's sort of squeezed in
because I've overslept or something.
So I often forget what we say here, and I don't even remember it.
And it's delayed by a lot.
Yeah, I saw that as well.
Like, it's two days delayed for PKA.
Like, Patreons get it two days quicker.
But for PKN, they get it like a whole week faster or something.
So, yeah, that totally slipped my mind.
Yeah, that's true um so the the
housing thing is done done well in my head that whole episode will be really done once the court
is finished right yeah on may 4th we go to small claims court and uh i'm pretty sure our contractor
is not a patreon so i'll talk about it this is how it's likely to go
um apparently in small claims court they get stuff done i've never been but that's like a thing so
they're gonna go and they're going to immediately throw away jamal's stuff like he's made his
girlfriend is the attorney and she's bad like maybe she's a paralegal or something i don't know what the scoop is shocker but she's she's bad the um the dates on the lien are off by a year
so the lien is like not valid um yeah i don't know if a court like overlooks that kind of thing like
i really don't know how this works you know it wouldn't shock me if they said
this whole thing is just garbage.
Forget it.
You're done.
The dates are off by a year.
Or if they said, all right, just cross it out and fix it right here in front of me and we'll proceed.
Either way would work fine for me.
But the point of small claims court is to kind of like get stuff done and have it behind you.
But the people I've talked to seem to think that they'll just throw away his lien immediately.
You're not supposed to go to small claims court and have a lien at the same time.
That's like double jeopardy.
That's a thing that you can't do.
I talked to my attorney, my, you know, Ed, the contractor's attorney, and the clerk at the county who, like, handles all the paperwork for this stuff, who was really good, by the way.
She'll never see this but you know every so often you run across someone who's just outstanding at
their job and knowledgeable and you know a king and she was one of those and she just seemed to
know everything um i don't want to say too much she was just super helpful i would never say
anything then and that would get her in trouble but she was so helpful so anyway um jesus did you give your hand job too like what happened here
she's like i can't tell you this and she's like handing me highlighted papers and stuff
and i'm reading it and then like figuring out how it applies to my situation and stuff but
um i guess i've said too much anyway she was she was great. Very helpful. Yeah, super helpful. So anyway, apparently you can't do a small claims court and a lien at the same time.
He's done that wrong.
So I don't know which one they're going to go with or what the scoop is or how that's going to be.
But Ed is going to file a countersuit right on the spot, like as a surprise.
And that's interesting to me.
I kind of look forward to the show ed's gonna be like
you know this is his crappy work this is photos of it this is what it cost me these are the people
i brought in to clean up after him etc etc etc and um i want to be like you know what i've got
damages here too ed's like you know i had to pay these people to fix this stuff here's the bills
where that i got for it 1900 for this 1600 for for this, $1,600 for that, weeks of delay.
I would love it if coming out of this thing, I got money too.
There's some sort of a Judge Judy redemption episode where she's just like,
Woody's the good guy here and makes everybody pay you instead.
That's how it happens in my dreams.
In my dreams, it how i like that's how it happens in my dreams in my dreams
it works out like that like i'm gonna be like i'm the only fucker around here do what they're
supposed to do jamal he just broke shit ed he took you know it's a two-week job and ended up
taking him more than three months and he would send me bills whenever something went wrong
like hurricane jamal coming through on this project. Me, I had to write checks.
My checks were on time, and they never bounced.
I'm the only fucker around here who did what
they're supposed to do, but I did too much
of it. I had to pay for
these damages.
I would love it if coming out of this whole thing
I walked away with a check. I think that would be really
awesome. The whole thing's hilarious.
I look forward to the time when
it's all over and done
and you've got your house and because it just seems that we started this whole thing so so long
ago it feels like it was last year it wasn't it was january of this year but well i'm thinking
back to when way back when you know we first started um like looking at houses like i remember
the the perfect house that that you found that
had the pool in the middle and uh and i was so psyched about that i was like i love the idea of
like like jackie washing it sounds so misogynistic but this is fantasy of mine of like you know
jackie washing dishes and like she looks up and there's a little window there and she she like
lifts the window and you're out there doing laps or whatever it is you do. And she's just like, do it in five minutes.
And you're just like, yeah.
And do your Aquaman pose.
You just wiggle it and then burst from the surface of the water.
Just dry somehow.
Dude, I would love that.
That was the thing.
The thing about that house that was so cool is I felt like you could go swimming as easily as you could watch TV.
You just walk into the center of the house, tip over, and you are swimming.
And it was so central in all the house.
I still think back.
We've spent so much fixing this home.
I'm like, how would life have been if we had devoted that cash into the old house in that
house that needed all these repairs and still wouldn't be there i think you i mean what i'm
hearing is he needed to rip that thing down to like the foundation that like there really wasn't
any pool to be salvaged there yeah and the i think it would have cost you $150,000 in renovations over there.
It was a cheaper house, you know, so that's a thing, right?
It's not too late.
It is too late.
Actually, they wrote to us while we were settling on the house I'm going to live in someday.
Three houses.
Wait, what?
Yeah, three houses.
Anyway, right, right.
Four, because you forgot the guest house, I think.
We're saying that you thought you'd make a good general contractor. Maybe that's what you should do. You should take on the other house as a general contractor. So the seller of that other
house, the one that had the pool in the middle, was a general contractor. That's what he did.
And when you buy a house from a real estate agent or when you buy a house from a general contractor. That's what he did. And when you buy a house from a real estate agent, or when
you buy a house from a general contractor, you're really playing with fire. Like, I feel like, you
know, I challenged the devil to a banjo competition or whatever the hell, a fiddle competition,
you know, like this is his wheelhouse. You know, I'm a noob here. I can't even play fiddle. I don't
know. It's a terrible analogy, but, but you know, he was an expert in the home.
As much as he seemed so sweet and whatever, all those crappy repairs in the roof, he knew exactly what was going on on that roof.
That was such substandard bullshit.
That was some Three Stooges repair work if I've ever seen it.
I didn't even know they made buckets of tar.
He had a little pail of tar like you see in looney tunes or like
like i don't even i've never seen tar on a work site because we always would just well let's just
get some new shingling like uh for people who don't know this the story to the the house we
didn't buy we went we absolutely fell in love with it it was on a peninsula it was surrounded by lake
and it was like a hundred the the it was like hundred foot like diagonal walk. I don't know how to say it, like a decline to the
lake. So it was on this peninsula way up high. It was a 6,000 square foot house, but it was 8,000
square foot. If you include the pool, the indoor pool in the center of it, it was, it was a crazy
perfect house, um, for, for me and my family. and then we had it inspected and everything fell apart
it had termites twice it had the roof was like falling apart there were all these terrible
terrible repairs the roof was like i don't mean to exaggerate but if i remember i think it was
seven different colors the roof from all the different like like you know where the roof was
aging and they just like put new tiles on or mismatched shingles
or anything but you could definitely tell you could see like oh that that's not even the same
shingles that's uh that's right problem or it was the same shingles but some were 10 years old and
somewhere this year and that too yeah it needed a new roof clearly and um the the roof was so big
and the it had so many i don't know if they're called ridge lines but you know it wasn't like
it was a big barn roof where it was real simple you know two sides that meet this thing had like
yeah the whole house is octagon octagon octagon octagonal thank you a lot of words escaped me
so it was a neat home but um there was so much the like two-thirds of the subfloor oops not touching my computer enough
two-thirds of the subfloor was rotted out and then it was all hardwood floors and there was
like turkish marble and stuff and and that was all just considered trash now because you can't
replace the subfloor and salvage these other things it was just gone and um then like i
mentioned the termites 80 of the plumbing had rotted. That's a big deal. So they were going to have to, like, replace all the plumbing in the crawl space.
That's a real problem.
He kept describing the fiberglass, the insulation, as Spanish moss because it was, like, hanging down.
That didn't mean much to me, but it might mean much to these guys.
But when fiberglass gets wet, it starts, like, turning into this Spanish moss type thing.
Like, it hangs down like a vine
that maybe you just pulled off a tree. And, um, uh, I, I can't even remember the other stuff that
was wrong, but essentially I think what happened is, well, I know that the pool leaked. That's a
thing. The pool didn't have water in it because it leaked. The pool had lights in the side of it.
And that's what leaked like around the light fixture water came
out and because of that i think that the crawl space filled up like a pool itself and then
that caused yeah like the water the termites the so at some point there was some sort of underwater
tunnel in your house that you could have that would have been cool at some point the crawl
space was a pool and and that's how the plumbing, the insulation,
the sub floors and the termites and all that stuff happened.
And it was, the house, I think,
was going to be a never-ending series of problems.
At one point, no one lived in it.
And that's a bad thing in a house.
I feel like the guy who owns that
needs to take the wings of redemption approach
and just burn that shit down.
Collect the insurance money and just be done with it because maybe maybe uh so um uh so yeah but that episode was like in august and stuff like that was august september
we were looking at that we wanted to live there and like part of the dream there was to hand out
like really pimp um halloween candy like i remember that like
in terms of the timing and stuff i was like i want to if someone makes the trek up my street
uphill to me on the end of a peninsula these fuckers are getting like four full-size candy
bars we're making it making it rain and uh but you know it wasn't meant to be we didn't get that
house so then we found this one and what's interesting about this one is that one,
the home is pretty big. It's nice and everything,
but the yard is incredible.
Like, you know, we have this,
maybe for a lot of people,
this isn't a weird thing.
Like for you, for example,
you're not right on top of your neighbors.
You know, I know your father's not right
on top of his neighbors.
I don't know if I've been to his house,
but I've been to his farm.
And you know, there's space.
There's this elbow room in your section of the country.
I have never in my whole life lived so far from a neighbor that I couldn't like easily
throw a rock and hit their house from my porch.
Right.
Like that's just, it's a whole new experience to me.
And, um, you know, I've, I've, I've never had it where like, you know, if my dog barks
outside, it's not this big event where it was like, Oh my God,
the dogs are bothering everyone, you know, get out there and handle it.
And, and now we're going to have that. And yeah, we, every day now,
we're going back and forth to the other house except Sunday where it was
Saturday, Saturday, it was all work. But yeah, I brought a, you know,
I filled up the pickup truck with stuff from this
house and um jackie fills up her car which is more than you might guess it's a big suv and she rolls
the seats down yeah and um and we just go when it stops raining it's been pouring every day every
day every day it's a bummer it's been a real like it's been really depressing just been there's days
at a time where it just thunders and rains and in like it's just dark outside it's it's it's been a long time i'm done with the rain
but i have an 18 foot trailer and when we load that thing up it's going to be like six pickup
truck loads like we're we're going and jackie's like i don't know what stuff to bring you know
and i'm like bring it all you know i'm like it either comes or it's trash that's it and she's like well what if we need it if we need it that's a sign that we need to move you know
put your stuff in that house the only exception to that rule is this computer that i use because
the show must go on you know it's some if i were to put this in the other house that means that
i'm committed to like doing this from the other house, you know? And, uh, That's going to be cool when you, when you move into your new, uh, you know,
little studio or whatever you're going to, whatever it's going to be,
wherever it is you film from your new office, whatever it may be,
that's going to be cool.
What I really,
one of the things that having a little more size will give me is movie night.
Like this room is so small that I really just have the office chair and I
don't want anything else, you know,
but I think I might have some sort of recliner or something.
And when we do movie night, I can just chill, lay back, watch it.
Fall asleep immediately and Chiz and I will continue on with the movie.
That's totally what's happening.
You're going to get some like Barka.
You're going to be like, well, I went really sensible with the couches downstairs.
Let's get a big leather Barka lounger up here.
And it's going to be huge and cushy.
You're going to melt into it and you're going gonna be passed out after your milk and cookies one night
30 minutes into like a two and a half hour movie that's totally what's happening i'm totally done
denying how right you are you're nailed it you've nailed it i i i could yeah i'll grab pinch up on
g fuels and i'm trying to I'll down some caffeinated drink.
You're right.
They would not want you to.
No, they wouldn't want that.
It makes me curious.
Anything would happen to her.
Maybe off camera.
We'll do some experimentation.
Just saying.
But yeah, now we are kind of a great. Colin's room has almost moved over to the other house.
He just has his bed here now.
But his dresser and his shelves
full of Lego and Minecraft things.
And they're all moving.
I don't know.
We hope a lot of our stuff is over.
We're going at it hard.
Now we're going to hire people to help us.
Our washer and dryer in particular,
just like a nightmare to move.
The washer is really heavy.
The refrigerator,
like I,
I suppose if I had enough able-bodied men,
but I don't really have that.
So I think we're going to hire someone to move some of the toughest stuff.
And,
and,
you know,
I think I'm, I'm sort of ready to,
I might call tomorrow and be like, you busy Monday?
Let's do Monday.
Get two guys in a truck.
That's like a company name.
Yeah.
And have them just, you know.
Now, I could have a few redneck hooligans down that way nine hours from now.
And I'm not going to promise they won't really just dent the walls and scuff the paint and that sort of thing.
And then they can move on to the fencing when they're done on the inside.
I could get Josh and his cousin, get those guys over there.
Jackie, she gets on me on the fence.
We budgeted for the fence, and I'm sort of ready to make that happen.
But we haven't determined really where want like the location of the fence
and uh for that i'm just like all right jack you know like like i earned the money you got
to decide where that fence lands and then call it good have you decided i like that fence i sent
you the other day that was sort of the three dark posts. It was awesome. Like horizontal. Yeah. Did you send that to me individually or PKH?
Just to you, I believe.
I could be wrong, though.
I don't know.
I've got like four of those.
I know I don't have the picture anymore.
I've changed phones since.
I'm afraid I don't have it either
i mean going around i feel like going around the exterior
is a given though right are you going to do one big loop around everything
i we were talking about something less than the entire yard it really is a big yard it's huge um
and then the the other issue is jackie doesn't want the dogs that far away.
Like, oh, I have the picture.
First off, I want to like...
I drove by a guy's house the other day.
And first of all, he had several hundred acres.
It was clear.
But he had that dark, you know, multi-row fencing like that.
And it just went on and on forever.
So Kyle saw this fence picture
and thought of me and took a picture of it.
I think it's nice too.
That's definitely a candidate,
but we just need to make sure we're happy with where it goes.
How's Jack doing?
So we thought he, I forget what we thought he had.
It was a cute something.
It was a problem with his neck spinal cord right back here.
Wobblers, yeah, yeah.
Wobblers has become a whole thing in my household.
I keep doing the little dog's voice.
I pretend like the dog has overheard us talking about your dog,
and now she's afraid she's going to get wobblers.
I pretend like the dog has overheard us talking about your dog,
and now she's afraid she's going to get wobblers.
She's like, oh, no, not the wobblers.
So every time we bring it up,
I do the dog voice all cowering and afraid of wobblers.
Like if she's out too cold and it's too cold or she gets wet or something,
she's always afraid of wobblers uh what is colin is trying to break
a guinness book of world record which one uh it it appears that it might be toothpick stacking
ah i'm holding it up to that's gonna get messy
anyway um what was i gonna say oh so we thought he had acute wobblers and um he recovered from
it which is i think something that wouldn't happen if it were acute wobblers but he's not
fully recovered and he's still wobbly for lack of a better term like like he does a thing where his
back legs like he'll be standing on his back legs and then and that doesn't happen to like a healthy
dog yeah but it's also
not like a good it's not like it's happening to him on concrete you know we have like slippery
laminate hardwood floors in this house and um maybe you should put some grip tape on his paws
that seems like a good idea yeah we could like like um maybe weld something like like uh like a skateboard tape just give him a more aggressive
pause pause surface so but i i think there is like it's taken a bit of the zip out of him like
he's aging i guess um and and he's a great dane for people that don't know when they age quickly
but i just don't know you know we had we took him to a vet like three times and that's what
they came up with and it's uh it's an issue but i'm moving into the new house and i'm very much
excited about that maybe that'll be good for it maybe being maybe having like lots of land to run
around on and maybe that'll be a maybe that'll help somehow i think it might change things i
don't know if it's gonna like if we're gonna have to like limit his active like you know an acre or
two of running and all of a sudden the dog's laid out for four days or or if like you say
you know it's gonna help him get you know better like in better shape and so i i'm excited about
the fence and i think you need to do a big fence i think it needs to circle everything that the light touches over there everything you own needs to be encapsulated
in this fence and then you can you're never restricted on what kind of like wildlife you
can bring in because i imagine this thing turning into like a dr doodle i feel like you should have
like five or six different kinds of animals out there i'd like to see like jack hanging out with
like llamas and stuff.
I think Jack could handle himself against a llama
and the emu.
Yeah, and he would look equally ridiculous out there.
That'd be great.
I would actually
like a goat, and Joe
Lozon was pimping the idea of a miniature
goat, but since part of
the goat's job is to eat the grass,
miniature goat might
not be the goat I want you see twice as many I don't even see why I would go
about it that route it's trust me 20 mini goats are much easier to handle
than 10 regular ones but it would be cool I think goats is like a given like I don't believe you. I'm making that up.
Goats would be cool.
I think goats is a given.
Goats are cheap.
They're easy to take care of.
They already have clear positives to their name.
I would start out by getting two or three goats.
I feel like you just should.
Maybe a male goat and a female goat and just start breeding them.
One tricky thing about goats is okay, now you're a farmer.
Even if you have five goats, you have five goats 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If I leave town, I still have goats.
I need to find someone who can help us with the goats.
Nah, those things forage.
This is amateur farming.
This is what my
dad does trust me you don't want animals that are like like like with like a dairy farm you right
they always talk you got to be there you got to milk those things if you don't then like it'd be
a disaster like the whole farm would go under if you didn't milk for two or three days straight
people get um like they have a backup power right like yeah this whole we can we have our own
generators and 2 000 gallons of propane and we can run for this long or diesel or however they do they have backup power, right? Like, yeah, we have our own generators
and 2,000 gallons of propane
and we can run for this long or diesel
or however they do it.
And you're like, yeah, our house, the power goes out,
but the cows must be milked.
Yeah, but you don't want to be that kind of farmer
whose livestock is dependent upon you
for anything, really.
Ideally, you would like to be able to go
on a three-month
vacation and they don't even notice like that's how it should be like you shouldn't have to go
out there and like pour like a big bag of feed out like you don't want that you want animals
that kind of live off of the yard basically and then every now and then you like throw like a
salt block in there or something there's like a treat like you want that but i look and see if
that's really a choice that's really a choice yeah that's of course it's yeah totally like you're not you don't you're not
gonna be out there feeding them they're gonna eat grass they're gonna like dig up stuff from the
yard they'll eat that hmm you don't want maintenance do you want jackie oh no jackie's
not camera ready she too jackie she was cleaning the the bathroom in the new house today. And, um, you're just making it
really shine. Like the construction guy cleaned it, but they did less shitty job. Cause that's,
that's what they do. And, um, let me just divert the, what is it called? Did I, I digress. Let me
digress for a second. Um, Jackie and I disagree. I think that the cleaning ladies who cleaned the house did an expected job.
And Jackie's like, no, look like on the other thing, missed a shelf up here.
Or they like, there was a streak on the mirror, you know?
And she's like, how can they not clean mirrors with streaks in it?
Colin does a better job, but it was so messy, right?
It was a construction site for more than three months.
That's a lot of mess and um you know
the the floor like everywhere you look you left footprints everywhere in the drywall dust we had
popcorn ceilings that they cleaned and and it was crazy messy and i think that you know sometimes
things just get better with coats even though it doesn't have to be in coats like when i sand
furniture and i make it yeah i hit the whole thing with 80.
And then I come back and hit it with 80 again.
Why?
I don't know.
It was just a hard enough fucking job that my standards dropped as I went and did it.
So I just hit it twice with the rough stuff to really get it to where it was supposed to be.
And I kind of feel like the cleaning does that too.
You know, Jackie's there cleaning like,
look, I do so much better than they do.
But you're standing on the shoulders of their work, you know?
Yeah.
But anyway, Jackie's cleaning
and she was cleaning like the master bath
and she like turns on the bidet.
Poof.
She got bidet water all over her.
I'm like, duh down like does that come off i don't know
you're like permanently infected in my head you're having a seinfeld moment where you're
thinking about abandoning you and like like you're like kyle could just get a big cabin i don't know
it did sound cool i might have to start over on this whole family thing
this one's got bidet water on it goodbye everyone we had a nice ride we got right to the edge of the bidet water yeah that's oh sorry baby that that was the
that was it yeah so uh but yeah she's she's just she's working her buns and it's it's bad right
because we'll go there right we'll both have like truckloads worth of stuff and i'll carry some
heavy things off i usually carry everything heavy. And,
um,
but then she's cleaning.
I,
on the other hand, I'm doing like simple little jobs,
like replacing HVAC vents.
And then I'll spend like 15 or 20 minutes on Woody craft stuff.
And,
uh,
my goal,
and hopefully no one sees this,
here's this from what he got,
but the goal is to just like touch base enough with Woody craft that they don't even know i'm not at my computer all day you know like all right i just pop in
conversate made that a verb for uh you know for 15 minutes or so and then go do something else
for 15 minutes and then come back and they don't even need to know that i like was gone for 15
minutes doing something non-work related i was trying to have a big footprint on my appearance,
even though in real life I'm spending a lot of time moving.
That makes sense.
So, yeah, Jackie, on the other hand, doesn't have such excuses,
and she just works her butt off cleaning and such.
So, yeah.
Well, you're close.
I'm glad you're close.
It's been a real uphill battle, but you're almost there.
It's great.
It's so hard.
It's like...
Jackie said something at one point.
She's like, we're good people.
This shouldn't happen to us.
Like, I look back at my YouTube career, and I hate to sit here and throw a pity party
for myself or whatever.
But when I look at the fucking uphill battles that I faced on the YouTube thing,
freaking constantly, whether it was Thunder Toro, Fisticuffs, Keemstar,
my friend Wings of Redemption, Holiday Dock, etc.,
all putting roadblocks in there,
there was a lot of bullshit thrown my way on the YouTube thing.
And this house feels almost like the same thing.
I didn't do anything to deserve this horse shit.
But I got it.
But I got it.
And you just keep pushing, I guess.
So I make it sound like some big trial.
It's just a pain in the ass.
No, no.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
You're totally right.
You know what we forgot to talk about on the last show?
That story that we heard
at dinner that one night. And it's such a good story.
I still feel like we should save it for the next PKA.
But that's a good story.
I don't know. I was just thinking about that.
It was a good story.
Yeah. I guess we'll save it for the next PKA.
I need post-it notes.
I want post-it notes so I can
remind myself, not just the bookmarks. I need to-it notes so I can like reminders to myself not just the bookmarks
yeah I need to do the same
so you
here's the I was about to say
you look like you're better but the thing is
I forget if it was last PKA or PKN
or whatever but Kyle was on death's
door right he
drags himself like a puddle of goo
into the thing
and then you know the lights turn on.
He pushes through it like a professional,
and then the moment we stop recording, he's,
ugh.
You know?
Oh, that was so hard on me.
I've really been sick since the paintball event, really.
I guess after maybe a day or two
after I got back I started feeling really shitty
and I'm still sick now
I'm still coughing up a lot of stuff
really really congested
I don't have the complete
I don't know, like a week ago
when we were doing that last PKN at the end of it
I was just like
I think I'm going to get off now
I looked at myself in the camera and
i'm just like i don't know i look like i was dying he was really a wreck and um and you were
sleeping a lot right like like like if you if somebody sleeps like 18 hours a day their body's
recovering from something right like that's that's the scoop and uh and that's where you were you
were just you know i really felt like shit and i'm
only uh recently uh started to feel better so but it's a slow recovery right wouldn't it be great
if you just turn the corner like oh yeah i woke up this morning and you know what little uh self
check i'm good and the worst part is like i look like shit too because like like every time i get
out of the shower i look and there's just bruises everywhere that are green.
They're green and pink and yellow everywhere.
These big – because they've melted into each other now, and they're this huge everywhere all over me.
And I'm just like – I look as bad as I feel.
Oh, and then the raininess, like the weather here.
It's been overcast and raining for the entire time of of my sickness so it's just been depressing as well i wake up at even if i wake up at nine
or ten and i'm like coughing or something i look out the window and it's just dull like gray light
and and just it just rain coming down i can't tell if it's five in the afternoon or five in
the morning and rainy it's just been depressing depressing. It sounds like your weather is slightly worse than mine, but we've got to...
It's rained every day, but
even if it rains at 2pm,
because we want to put
things in a truck and a trailer and such,
we're paying special attention to weather.
The fact that it's raining at 2
ruins my 11am.
Like, ah, rain is coming.
I have to duck out first, or I have to do whatever
I can. The grass at the new house is tall.
It needs a mowing.
Like, I think it's probably threatening a foot,
which if you have a small yard sounds, like, ridiculous
because those are well-maintained.
But in a pasture-type scenario, it's just time to go.
Eat the goats.
Eat the goats, for sure.
Put pelts on them.
I don't see a flaw with this plan.
You could get a milk cow out there,
and you could have your own milk if you wanted it.
You could milk that milk.
I'm pretty good with the milk man that I've got now.
You could have a milk lad.
Colin could be out there making it happen.
If we could get him dressed up in some sort of
Pennsylvania Dutch boy costume
that would be ideal um right now he's thinking i don't want to be a milk lab
colin's really good at working like that's um so socially people who are homeschooled
you know are sometimes a little different than the rest, right? Now, Colin, of course, is different in a bunch of ways because he's at special needs.
But he is really nice.
Really nice.
Every time there's work to do, he is the first guy to roll up his sleeves and work.
Anytime someone else is in pain, he is the guy with the strongest sense of empathy and sympathy.
He's just really good and caring around people but um it's neat now that
we're moving like he's just you know i need you to carry something i need you to do this oh okay
sure why not you know that's one of his say sure why not um it's uh it's neat to see and then
there's hope who is more typical of of like how i was you know know, where everything is, you know, can you do this?
I can half-ass that.
How does that work for you?
I can give you the appearance that I am.
How about that?
I'll tell you what.
This is what I can do for you.
That four-minute job, I'll do it in one hour.
I will stretch it out that long.
And next time, you'll think twice before asking.
Expect a lot of eye rolling during this.
That's the key to getting fewer jobs assigned to you.
You just drag them out.
Do a good job, but make it take forever.
And then you just won't be assigned jobs anymore.
Yeah. do a good job but make it take forever and then you just won't be assigned jobs anymore yeah it yeah and and like i don't know it's like i'll have like three things to do better yet let's
say i have like three welcome mats in my hand right and we're going to spread them out through
the house it's like oh can you take this one and put it by that door and I'll get these two the back
door yes yes and I am doing two of them is there something about this job that's
extra it's a welcome mat we're putting a welcome man in a door into a place you
just being teenaged so that does seem extra lazy that's why she's working this
summer I need her to be somebody's why she's working this summer.
I need her to be somebody's bitch.
What's she going to do?
So it's funny.
They're telling me that expecting her to get a normal job is too much.
That one of the challenges is that her summer's extra short.
Her school is changing buildings over Christmas break.
Because of that, they're adjusting the school year to start early and she's only off for like four weeks or something
like the whole summer okay so she's yeah so she's like well no one's gonna hire me for just four
weeks and i don't mean to exaggerate it might even be shorter than that so she hasn't but she'll have
a long winter break but anyway um i feel like like some sort of a Woody Craft apprenticeship should be in order.
No.
The core piece of it is that I want someone else to be doing this.
It needs to be anyone but me and her mother.
You're right.
I want her at a retail store pushing a broom.
You know?
Hey, princess.
I get it.
Princess.
But we're done with that shit mop you know like
i would love her to be you know the the you walk into a store and that rug is like it's like a it's
like a four foot eight foot you know like walmart or something yeah yeah the one that's always rolled
up in a ball yeah someone takes that hangs it over something And beats the side of it
Until the dirt falls out
I mean it is 2015
I just think
The jobs like that
They give those to the old
35 year old divorced dads now
I really don't think they'll do that to your daughter
I feel like if she gets a job anywhere
She's just going to be up front
Like hey
Well what she is going to anywhere she's just gonna be up front like like hey well what she's gonna do
is um she's going to volunteer at one of colin's therapists and while she won't work with the kids
uh oh and by the way that's a job that she'd like to do as a grown-up she won't work as the kids
uh she may work the counter she'll be vacuuming she'll be cleaning up after them things like that um that sounds like a good one yeah uh
it does a couple things one she needs volunteer hours for national honor society she got accepted
or inducted or whatever it is into the national honor society and um apparently there's a volunteer
component of it whatever social volunteer there and um two like, I don't, I'm not looking like to get my hand, like, like here,
dad, I earned like $35 this week.
Put it with the rest.
Thanks.
You know, like that's not helpful at all.
Um, so it's not like I'm trying to get her to like contribute to the family's finances
or anything.
I'm just trying to get her to have the experience of working to, to, to realize how hard it
is to make money and stuff like that.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
This will be like that, except that she won't get any money.
And I want to see her babysit.
I think that would be a nice thing.
Will she be driving to this job?
No, she'll be driven to it.
No, that kind of repeats the purpose, though.
You got to drive her to the job?
Yeah, that sucks. I get that. get that but um that is our reality she'll be able to drive herself in december okay soon
yeah yeah you know i go trumpvember she uh i want like her birthday's in June. So starting June,
it's her fault.
She can't drive starting June.
I can be a,
you know,
sullen,
eye rolling,
deep sighing teenager.
That's shocking.
I don't know why.
Like,
like I got mine that day,
like that day we had to go.
I don't understand why she didn't.
It's,
it's,
that's exactly what it is right i'm driving
and her and her mom are like dragging their feet and like a hope has been driven everywhere like
she gets anything she wants i just went to i spent like seven hours at a rock concert right
one of the bands did screamo are you familiar with screamo it's the lowest form of what it's
called music it's uh it's the worst it really is like and i'm open to any kind of music really like
like but but screamo is just disgusting it's just so bad it's uh it's really bad i share your
thoughts so i'm open-minded and i think it's terrible i i and my parents would have never
ever ever ever ever sat through Screamo concert with me.
And there were four bands.
One of them was Screamo.
She was really there for two of the bands.
And that wasn't one of them.
But one was like all time low.
All time low was the Headliner.
And then there was another band.
I forget that she actually liked more than the Headliner.
But the takeaway from this is that she actually liked more than the headliner but the the takeaway from
this is that like she gets what she wants you know like whenever she does like an after-school
thing whether it be a musical a play a debate club or cross-country or whatever like we've never said
oh no that's extra driving for us you know when she was doing fencing, she just always never had transportation issues.
Whereas me, I constantly had transportation. Always, always. I mean, I took my bike everywhere.
And in the few times that I'd go places that were like 15 miles or more, like my mom would like
promise to take me someplace. And then it would rain that day. And she'd be like, I'm not driving
in the rain. i'm like but we
had plans i was so excited we're gonna do a thing i gotta hang with my friend and you know that
they've got they're making pies and it's gonna be great my parents drove me places that seems
pretty harsh i gotta say like like football practices baseball games you know across the
county back and forth i'm trying to think any any activity
i was involved would they take you to rock concerts and sit through them they would take
me to six flags uh when they had no interest which is kind of the a similar situation where
it like eats your whole day away and you've got to go pay a bunch of money similar in time it
sounds quieter and peaceful like you can almost fall asleep in your car taking someone to Six Flags.
That's not the case at a rock concert.
Maybe so.
No one ever took me to a concert.
I wouldn't have wanted to go with my parents anywhere.
Yeah, I'm good. I stay in the background.
We text each other.
I would have wanted to
get drunk and, I don't know, break something
or something like that. My parents couldn't be at the concert if i was gonna have any fun
like i just wouldn't have wanted any parents there of any kind so um uh anyway i think because
she's never had a transportation issue she didn't really have like a ton of motivation to be the
driver whereas i did so i like you got it as fast as I possibly could
I feel like I'm so shocked that she doesn't want that freedom because I feel like so many like like
most kids I feel like my sister did my sister wanted to be able to like get out and like go
do stuff with her friends and and be away from the family unit it seemed like everybody around
that age is so disgusted with their family they're just like yes i'm about to cut the
umbilical cord and like i'll be miles away at will and that's the first time they you have that and
and i know i definitely coveted it and uh wanted it and my whole parenting style gears towards it
like people i talk about my parenting a lot right when she was say 13 she wasn't even going like to
movie dates by herself right i'm there like 30 rows behind her
making sure everything's cool um and over the years i've just been and i'm usually on the guys
pushing for more freedom like jackie she has two major freedom events coming her way in december
she'll have a license and with that license comes all kinds of like like as it is now we know where
she is almost every minute of every day like you know when she has a license that's the age that
oh you got a gps her up right yeah right that's not a bad idea but even she'd figure that out
a few of them you could get her key chains got one her car's got a gps in it the her phone too
you just really want her to lock down you're
bad that way if a cartel gets her we could track her down it'll be like a chuck norris movie hope
has these friends and uh i'm gonna out them right now they're twins and uh they could only go to the
concert because i was going like her parents were like you know they oh okay you can go since since
mr woodworth is going and uh she's like but i need
mr woodworth to call me himself and tell me that he's actually going to be there so it was cool i
called her friend's mom who didn't really know very well i met her one time at a bonfire we
through and um she's like all right yeah she's like i've got good kids but this is the age at
which kids try to you know pull a fast one i just thought it'd be good to talk to you.
I like the way you're thinking.
Because I was a horrible person at Hope's age.
Terrible.
Terrible.
Liar.
Cheater.
Dreadful boy.
Dreadful boy.
No rules.
Every rule I thought was meant to be broken.
It's awful.
And the fact that she's like, know i got my kids are good but i imagine she did the same thing but i knew me at 16 and i don't want a
repeat of that yeah so uh i was an expert at climbing in and out of my window i was too and
i lived on the fourth floor i i yeah i would climb out of i i slept in it was like a converted attic type
thing and uh out my window was my father's my father had a balcony like off the bedroom and
i'd climb onto the roof of that shuffle drown the uh the thing and then we had a uh like a porch
that kind of covered one of the floors so i could take the steps for the last one but bottom line i
was like a monkey out there just climbing up and down like drain pipes and shit that's impressive yeah I was pretty athletic
and and yeah I used to I used to climb all over my roofs my entire when I was 12 and I lived in
New Jersey I could climb on the fence and then from there like climb up the brick chimney with
like a mountain like hook my my my fingers into the like between the bricks but I only had to do it for a couple feet before I could get my hands
on the roof and pull myself up and I used to sit on the roof and then in
Ocean City we go to the time we'd watch fireworks from my roof and it was no big
deal to me like it we're like 60 feet up maybe I'm exaggerating we were like 40
feet up and you had to like jump over a gap to get to the roof and I had done it
so many times.
It was no big deal,
but other people I'm like,
yeah,
we can watch the fireworks from my,
from my roof.
And they're like,
Oh my God,
are you serious?
But,
uh,
anyway,
yeah.
Um,
I like that,
that the girl's moms were kind of,
you know,
this is the kids,
but when I was trying to get to,
and I don't think I'm telling my stories coherently,
I'm trying to ease hope into freedom, more alone time, you know, looser leash, etc. Because
sometimes with kids, when you, you know, just drop a big freedom bomb on them, they misbehave.
You know, they spread their wings for the first time and fly in the wrong direction. So we're
trying to ease her into it well good that's uh i'm
i'm still shocked that she didn't want that driver's license earlier i can't believe that
that would i knew a kid like there was a kid in high school who like couldn't pass the uh the
driver's test and uh and so like he waited years until like it was just a gimme because i think
he just couldn't i think he couldn't read or something like that i don't know what the fuck
nick's problem was but anyway nick didn't have a driver's
and we were all just like what the fuck's your problem man come on you gotta get with it like
we're we're driving like you can't ride with me no fuck you to put it in perspective i was a d
student in high school d right that was my average grade that means i had as many f's as i did c's and it
takes a lot of f's to offset like a b if one of those rolls in i was a d student and um d plus
but whatever um i got a 98 on driver's ed it was a high school class like that was the one where
you're like it's every class i'm like fucking around telling jokes not paying
attention literally sleeping sometimes i bring a book to keep myself entertained that was like
unrelated to school and um but you know come driver's ed i sit up straight i take notes i uh
i rock that test that was a very important one yeah well december then have you given any more
thought uh to the truck besides the uh the the
pussy wagon or whatever whatever it is that you're looking at what's that thing called it's called a
power wagon the power wagon that's right yeah no pussy wagon in your head means it pulls tail or
it's for pussies i'm not sure i was just imagining that truck from kill bill that that uh that yellow
chevy uh that said pussy wagon on the tailgate.
So the power wagon is still my leading candidate.
Really, I haven't given much thought to it.
Hope has wanted my truck since the time she was like eight.
That had been the plan.
Maybe something like that.
Since I got it, that was going to be her car.
And it stayed and it stayed and it stayed. it was always the coolest thing etc now that she tries to drive it
she doesn't stick shift hasn't come easily to her so there's still six months to get this sorted out
but she's uh easing me into the idea that she doesn't want my truck anymore and i'm like well
shit because i had been looking
forward for years towards having something new and uh well you can still get something new
yeah i don't have a good reason to anymore oh that's absurd that's just ridiculous what do
you mean i've got a great truck maybe we should send your truck off with a bang maybe that would be fun oh god no
like a like a funeral like a like a like a like a cremation like a truck funeral yeah that would be
uh saying woody's lab yeah that's a service. Like a special FBS Russia appearance, maybe.
Yeah, we could melt it with thermite or something and then blow it up.
But I don't feel like you have to have passed off that truck before you get a new truck, do you?
I haven't.
I mean, I'm sort of like proud of the frugality I've had in stuff like cars
and such. And I would lose
my claim if I was just like, well, you know,
it doesn't have that new truck smell anymore.
It's time to get something else.
Alright then. Fine.
Fine.
I think that's silly.
November's coming up.
I think it's time.
I think forever. what is the best time
to buy a truck uh the end of the year uh whenever the new models are coming in oh if you really
wanted to get a really good deal like like if like what what what year is it right now 2015
yeah that's right um you know if you it to you could get a great deal in 2015 at the end of this year when they're trying to roll in the 2016s.
Hmm.
That would be
six months from now, roughly?
Yeah, something like that.
My head feels numb. I'm still just
not sharp at all from the fucking cold medicine.
I picked that up from not knowing what
year it was.
Yeah, I didn't even bother trying to. You know what i'm gonna phone a friend on this question what year is it
it's uh when i did the dance competition i was sick and the choreographer was sick and uh
everyone in the production was a hollywood person you know like like that that's what they
did even though it was youtube they were they worked on a lot of reality shows and stuff like
that and you know that one of them worked with james cameron on one of his movies i don't know
which but um they not that they were high level people they just that's the jobs at hollywood
and um they kept talking about you know oh don't worry she's a professional you know as soon as the cameras turn on she'll light up and do her job
sick or not and uh i see you doing that too it's like you know what yeah sometimes i have a feeling
right now given the option you'd be watching netflix oh yeah that's what i was like like
right before i looked at my phone and saw pKN from Chiz, I was just passed out.
There was Gatorade everywhere,
and Archer was just flickering behind me.
I'm still listening to Game of Thrones.
I had to pull the ripcord.
I feel like I like watching the show
and then hearing it afterwards.
Where are you?
How many hours into the book are you?
Can you tell?
Oh, you use a different phone for that.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
I know that it's kind of hard to tell you without giving away some spoilers that are definitely like book four happenings.
They already had the vote at the wall.
The guy that they burnt, that already happened at the wall.
I'm nine hours in.
Oh, maybe.
I haven't even gotten there.
Okay, we're similar then.
We're probably just like neck and neck if you're at nine hours.
Yeah, we're really close.
I think I'm maybe eight hours, something like that.
Yeah, I'll do probably four hours.
No, two hours tomorrow.
And then the day after that, I'll mow.
And that'll be like a four-hour day or something.
Did the new episode come out last night?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, episode two did.
And it seemed like long.
We were at paintball only one week ago? Yeah, episode two did. And it seemed like long ago. We were at paintball only one week ago?
Yeah.
It seemed like two.
So,
I guess it's been a long week.
But yes, episode two came out. I watched
that in 1080p.
That's what I'm going to do next. I'm going to watch
that in 1080p tonight, maybe. I know Kitty
hasn't seen it. I've seen all, like you,
I watched the first four episodes. But I'll see if Kitty wants to watch the second episode because i know she hasn't yet
yeah and and i often like dude hbo as much as i love the binge watching right as a customer
the experience i get from releasing a season at once and letting me watch it at my pace is awesome
and sometimes my pace is awesome.
And sometimes my pace is pretty quick.
You know,
I'll consume the whole orange is the new black probably within a day or two after it drops.
But I will say like my game of Thrones excitement and interest level,
knowing that I don't have a new episode for three weeks,
which is now two,
I guess.
No,
three weeks from now,
four weeks with,
you know,
between episodes.
Um, it just feels like, like it ended like oh yeah you know yeah um it well it's definitely not the way they intended
it to be consumed uh you know four episodes and then like a month break in the middle or anything
apparently it was a media pack did you know that no yeah so i guess they give certain members of the press a month
worth of episodes and that way they can do their recaps and stuff like that and get them out timely
and talk about the show well that's nice yeah i can see on that list i can see why they do it but
members of the press are not that trustworthy either i remember it was call of
duty it was black ops 2 um they gave the media like this trusted um like trailer that they didn't
let youtubers see and they gave them some special information and that stuff was all over the web
within like 15 minutes oh yeah and it's like i would have kept that secret if you gave me an
inside scoop and said this is what you can say and when you can say like i would have kept that secret if you gave me an inside scoop and
said this is what you can say and when you can say it i would have followed those rules because
i didn't want to lose my access you know that that's the point but um the media people they
just screwed them over and it's like ah well that's what you get for not trusting me that's
uh we used to hunt down this call of duty, uh, information factoids like, uh, like detectives like to find out what the deal with the new game was going to
be like,
you know,
what,
when is the game,
you know,
when is it based?
Is it a world war two shooters at our future shooter?
You know,
what weapons are involved?
What's the storyline?
Uh,
way back in modern warfare two,
there was a YouTuber called beyond.
He was very good.
He was like Socrates level good at the game.
He did a breakdown of the trailer and he noticed things that I didn't notice. Even though I've
considered myself a fairly hardcore COD player, you know, back in the COD 4 to Modern Warfare 2
gap. He noticed how Scrambler was working
and things that I didn't pick up right away.
That was the video that made trailer breakdowns have value to me.
He put it in an editor, looked at it frame by frame,
and saw things I didn't.
So there was a time when I thought I did a pretty good trailer breakdown
here and there.
But now the passion's not there i don't they released some shitty trailer with like no
gameplay footage and uh like i'm not gonna break that shit down and then what what's the hint gonna
be some campaign related thing i skipped the last couple campaigns last campaign i know i played
modern warfare 3 campaign i don't know what else i played i uh i don't remember i don't think i've no i didn't beat this last one i haven't yet i've
played some of it um but i haven't beaten it i didn't even buy this last one um and then uh
the one before that was black ops 2 is that right i don't know why am i confused maybe it was black ops 2 yeah yeah and oh ghost
ghost before that ghost i didn't play the campaign at all um i did i played the campaign on that one
that was okay black ops 2 i didn't play the campaign because i hated the black ops campaign
so much i like both those campaigns a lot of people like the black ops 1 campaign but i
detested it i couldn't stand it all i still
don't even know what the numbers are what are the numbers do they ever explain what the numbers were
yeah they did but i i can't recall uh i i don't know and then like who you are and all that stuff
i just whatever i stopped giving a shit but the monoworker three campaign i loved that was incredibly good rescuing price the the
juggernaut suit part at the end like in that thing had me going that whole series all the way from
cod for like monomorph or one to three are in my opinion great great campaigns uh some people will
say it's too on rails and stuff but i i like the way they played i thought they were very good too um but i like the black ops campaigns and i the next game is black ops 3 right
yeah yeah so i guess i'll keep uh keep going with all the time you know the back and forth
through the time periods didn't like the the the mind control and the confusion uh it's kind of
hard to follow sometimes but i yeah i impossibly hard for me apparently i don't know
what the hell happened i finished the game and i was like oh good now i don't have to play anymore
i finished it i'm i'm sure that i knew what what the deal with the numbers was at the time when i
beat it but i just can't remember now i definitely can't well in fairness you forgot the year so yeah
there you go i don't know what year it is. That's kind of where we are right now.
I'm bad at that.
I just really am.
I'm really good at forgetting the year.
Really?
Like all the time, not just on?
Yeah, like I'll have it confused with the previous year or something.
Oftentimes.
I'll be like, wait, is it still 2014 or is it 2015?
It's like, yeah.
If you ever get tired of YouTube, you could have a career jamal's attorney
that's great um it's like what year is are you a fucking time traveler what is your problem
you should know that yeah yeah she fucked that up so i don't know if that's gonna burn her or not
or what the scoop is um when did when did you say that court appearance is may 4th so next month i guess about
three weeks from now that'll be fun yeah it's kind of hanging over my head like i want it to be done
done like one thing that was happening a lot is some contractors were hanging out at our house
hoping to just like catch the general contractor and get money so all these subs are unpaid and
you know we pull up and we're like hey what's up andres
what you working on nothing just trying to catch ed get paid you know andres spent three days
camping at my house not literally camping with a 10 or anything but just hanging out
sitting in his truck listening to music or whatever waiting for checks god damn ed would
tell him he's meeting him there i think i told i talked about this at one point yeah he's like i'm meeting you there then all
of a sudden ed's calling me from his attorney's office and i'm like that i know you're not meeting
andres andres is in my not in but in my driveway that way and he's in my driveway waiting for you
to pay him and uh then you know i'm there at the house the next day. Andre's still here, you know, just camping out, waiting for payment.
What does Ed say about all that?
Ed acts like he seems to think that it's, like, normal and customary and okay to pay
people when he has money.
Like, you know, why would they expect to get paid?
I haven't been paid yet i can't
pay the subs and i think to myself no you pay the subs when they finish their work not when not when
i pay i pay you when everyone finishes their work that's the scoop i paid half up front and half
when it's done but along the way lots of he should have broken it down maybe to have more milestones
right i'd have been okay with that but um instead it was half up front which is apparently way too much 10 up front is
more normal and then the other half at the end which again is kind of way too much but this time
in my favor you know it should have been like 4 25s or like you know a bunch of 15s i don't know
how many that would be and um it should have finished like that but uh so that meant that ed you know half up front he was feeling really rich and by the time
the project was over he couldn't pay his bills and um you know but to him it was like well
of course i can't pay my bills why would you think i could pay my bills you know i'm still
waiting on this last check that's your problem you know they they were telling uh i'll try and avoid names but they were telling one of the contractors like oh we've
got so much work for you we've got all these projects lined up it's going to be great he's
like you don't need work you need money you know you tell me you have money for me and we can start
doing things you tell me you can keep me busy okay i don't have a boredom problem you know and uh you know that
that's where it was so he's like yeah and and contracting is booming right now and people
aren't having a hard time getting jobs uh so it's gonna have a hard time hiring people if you can't
pay oh man he wonder if maybe they had it right the way they would do it in the olden days
when they would brand someone or cut off a body part to identify that this guy is a shitheel.
If you're a thief or something, maybe they'd brand a big T on you or something like that.
You know stock building supply?
I don't.
Oh, okay.
So stock building supply.
In my area, it supplies all the new construction and renovation stuff with their materials.
in my area supplies like all the new construction and renovation and stuff with their materials right if you need to buy hardwood floors or newel posts or shingles or roof or whatever all the
cabinets you go to stock they have pictures of people up there who didn't pay their bills
do not work with this guy they will ruin your name yeah and this is like a big company too like
they're like it's not like some mom and pop shop
um i don't want to say the guy's name because his son is a subscriber of mine but one of the people
working with ed stole his jobs like ed was sick or something and this guy would be like hey you
know what why don't you not work with these guys? Come with me. He'd like bid, you know, whatever, like one grand less than Ed or something.
Take the work and then do it on the side.
Now, this part's not confirmed, but Ed thinks that he was using his corporate accounts for like, you know, with like Home Depot and stock building and all those other things to get materials for the jobs he was stealing.
And that's not good that means ed has bills with these people that he can't pay and his work is
getting stolen from him and it's just like you guys are such a shit show you're just i'm so ed's
bad at his job big time and it seems like someone just needs to move right in there that's kind of
good at that job and they just start making money right it seems like hey you want to make eight to twelve
thousand dollars a month every month yeah you just go take ed's job he's a fuck up that i'm
you're right ed is absolutely beyond horrible at his job you know like what a general contractor
does if people are young maybe they don't, they bring the materials and the people on site in the right order to get a bigger job done, right?
General contractors usually have very little staff.
They just hire subs.
Like, you know, all right, so we're doing this thing.
First thing we're going to do is the messiest shit there is.
We'll scrape the popcorn ceilings.
We'll spackle all the walls.
It makes a big mess.
Then we're going to, you know, vacuum that up.
We're going to lay the hardwood.
We're going to paint, right? And then then that paint's gonna get all over the floor and
when that's finished we'll rip up the floors refinish it and that'll be the final part of
the project right do things in order in my project like they literally had people working on floors
and then they'd run out of materials and then it would take weeks to get new materials in
like i i've worked on a few projects
like like i've done like major renovations and stuff with my dad and like different things i put
roofs in i've put i've changed the roof on a house i've done lots of stuff like that and
all different fields of stuff plumbing and electrical so i'm very familiar with like
i can't wait for you to come over go on i'm
you gotta know kyle i'm very familiar with the whole idea of you know this the supply chain of of like raw goods it's
like you know we don't need those nails today but on day four there's gonna come a time where it's
like if we don't have those nails and there's another fucking trip back to the store like you
just you get all your shit in one go like everything's laying over there so that when
it's time to use when you need that
that blade for your for your uh for your saw that's for the metal you've just got it and and
it's but this guy seems like it's it's his first time doing anything they bought like okay we had
a lot of doors installed in the house for some reason this house came with like no closet doors
so um we installed like like 10 doors i don know. That's a good guess though. 10 doors.
They buy hinges for like three of them and now they have to find matching hinges for the other
seven. They would drive literally to like nine different stores looking for hinges and screws
and stuff like that instead of calling ahead. Really? You're driving over half of North Carolina
you're driving over half of North Carolina looking for screws instead of calling ahead.
That,
that is unthinkable to me.
Um,
you know,
like a,
a strike plate.
If you don't know when you shut the door,
that springy,
like Lockie thing,
it hits the strike plate and goes in the hole in the strike plate.
That's what that is.
Um,
I had like a kind of a funky shaped one or whatever.
And, uh, they spent like a week and a half
and the strike plate's not coming and i'm just like guys like amazon sells everything have you
tried that i just bought it was a dollar fifty i was like forget it fucking in two days it will be
in a box on the doorstep and it was you know like get amazon savvy they they spent three weeks
looking for ceiling fan blades so they put three weeks looking for ceiling fan blades so
they put on plastic on the ceiling fan blades to stop paint from getting on them they don't
taped them onto the blade though something like that you know they claimed that it was painters
tape but i guess it was an aggressive brand because it like ripped the the finish off the
ceiling fan and they're like we just can't find ceiling fan blades. If you type ceiling fan blades into Amazon, you'll find them in seconds.
And it's not like, you know, white is some weird thing.
Like they can't be found again.
You know, like, yeah, it's, it's super easy.
And, uh, and they literally went weak.
I ended up just backcharging them for it.
They never did find ceiling fan blades.
I'm like, all right, $75 or a hundred dollars or whatever it was for ceiling fan blades that's great yeah that's
so um right how hard is amazon just you've got an iphone right you should be able to get this
shit done like you know it should be no trouble and uh it's basic basic basic so yeah ed is
absolutely terrible at his job and i i think
that leads to why you know people were undercutting him on his staff and taking his jobs from him and
he you know took him weeks to know and well you know people are always asking us for career advice
this seems like a a really good place to go right like if you're if you're not going to go to college
like maybe go to a tech school and get some basic understanding
of a branch of
electrical work or something like that.
It just seems like becoming a general contractor,
that seems
like a great little path
to go on. Obviously, you need some experience,
which it seems like
you could get the experience. You could find a guy
and you could just start out as a contractor
and go from there.
And, I mean, hell, Ed's been hiring people showing up in Toyotas.
Why not?
Dented Toyota Civic.
You were talking about that.
You're like, when they show up in a box truck with their name on the side,
they probably know what they're doing.
If they show up in a Corolla with dents on the side, nah.
Yeah, that's a thing, right?
Yeah, if they show up in a Corolla with dents on the side no yeah that's a thing right yeah if they show up in a corolla with dents on
the side and and you know a stained upholstery and circular saws sitting like you know the seat
belts holding a circular saw in place those guys are not professionals and yeah harbor freight
equipment is another thing i look for uh if you don't know harbor freight it's a really really really cheap like
they sell garbage tools um and aren't they like a like a light like a bluish green color
i have orange in my head that like central machinery thing i think of the orange ones as um
you're thinking of rigid yeah yeah they're they're orange too i'm huh
central machinery images let's see what you got they are like a greenish yellow color i think
you're right i don't know i thought I saw a compound miter saw that was
orange. But yeah, they're like a yucky kind of olive
central machinery. That's what they're called. Anyway,
if they show up with Harbor Freight tools, that's another kind of...
They're just...
They haven't gone through the experience
of why you don't use bad tools yet.
You know,
they're rookie enough
that that's not a thing.
They bought,
like,
they were telling me,
they were,
this guy was installing floors
in my office
and he didn't have
a special kind of nail gun
that drives nails
at a 45 degree angle
and they're like,
man,
you know, the Hitachi one at home depot was like 300 we went to harbor freight and got one for 100 you know they're so
proud of themselves and i'm like i i don't buy harbor free tool and i'm a fucking homeowner
you know like yeah and then uh at the end of the second day, the tool broke. Yeah. Yeah. And it just, like, really?
You're a professional
and you use tools
that break after 12 hours.
Yeah, those are amateur tools.
Those are amateur tools.
So, I'm glad it's behind me.
I just...
So great.
I'm so glad.
It'll be done, done.
It's a life experience.
I'm telling you,
this is going to be such a great story.
Five years from now, we'll all laugh about this horrible, horrible job that you had done.
It seems like you're getting everything you want out of it.
You just had to take it out of them kicking and screaming.
Mostly.
I feel like some of this stuff, like I paid $1,900 for, what it was, was the hallway in
the second floor was a little bit tilted.
It took me a month to notice, but it was like, if you put a marble on and it would run to
the side and, um, you know, they wanted me to fix it.
And I was like, I don't really don't care about it.
Like it's, it's no big deal.
It's like, it's not a brand new house, whatever.
And, uh, he's like, kids are going to have wet feet in here.
They're going to slip. They're going to break their leg leg and i'm like they're jesus that is never going
to happen it's not that tilted you know it's not some fun house and uh and this is what i told him
i was like all right for five hundred dollars maybe i care for two thousand dollars i don't
give a shit about you know about this not level hallway and um he's
like all right in his head that translated into go ahead start ripping out the floor for one thousand
nine hundred dollars in my head we didn't have a deal like there was no agreement on this thing
like why are you starting like what is happening
here what are you charging what is the cost you know like and and in the long run i paid one
thousand nine hundred dollars mostly and in my head like so i don't want to put down my house but
it's level now but like there's certain spots that seem bouncy. Like the floor's not completely solid under the laminate.
They put leveling stuff, but it's not flat, for lack of a better term.
And I'm like, great, $1,900.
I traded one flaw for another.
I don't really feel very much ahead of the game.
So that's something I'd love to get back in small claims
court like because that was jamal's work right there and uh yeah it's like yeah you know and
ed's acting like i had to get some guy to come in here and fix it behind him yeah and then you
fucking build me you know there are areas where i feel taken advantage of and maybe i should have
raised more hell about the timeline like you know i I did raise hell from time to time and I'd
call you know it's partner and stuff but in the I mean it took her three months
like in and you know there were periods where there's just one guy poking away
on site the electrician would come in hang a ceiling fan or whatever then you
come back a month later and he's like you ready for one more fixture like you know he's like I thought you guys would be all done you then you come back a month later and he's like you ready for one more fixture like
you know he's like i thought you guys would be all done you know you come back install a fixture
then you come back a few weeks later one more fixture like like you know and i like the the
professional people tended not to put down the others but he'd be you know like without words
like you know and it's like yeah this is not
typical right this is this is insane so um yeah i was talking ed and harrison were like you know
yeah but it's really looking good now like i'm supposed to be happy and at one point I was like, no, no, I'm not happy. I'm not. This story doesn't end happily.
This story ends in April.
You promised me January.
You said you'd be done in January.
I knew you were full of shit, but I never knew it'd be April.
There is no scenario where this ends and we shake hands and say, this is good.
No, no, we're not working.
They, you know, they came in there with like a low price. They wanted to be like partners with me and say this is good. No, no. We're not working.
They came in there with a low price.
They wanted to be partners with me and do future deals together.
I'm like, we're not working together again.
This is done.
This isn't a happy ending.
I'm not a happy customer.
This is the workmanship. This doesn't end as a good story.
And Harrison's like't i hear you i know where you're coming from don't do this rain on site it'll ruin everything
you know it's like let's just keep this between us because i guess he felt like if i did it in
front of ed ed would flip out there were times where i was hoping ed would fight me that would
be a thing you know he'd be like, because he'd take a step toward me.
He'd be like,
are you serious?
And it's like, oh, please.
And I'd be like,
yeah, I'm fucking serious.
Fucking serious is a hard attack.
This is bullshit.
And it's like, go ahead.
Ratchet it up.
I said a thing.
You escalated.
I escalated more.
Please.
Please.
Fucking make a move.
And this is how our negotiation. i would have really topped off the
whole home improvement if you had beaten up the contractor in front of all of his employees and
then left that would have been great it would have been really lopsided um he's small untrained
he was a mess um but uh but you know like i would escalate and then he would take a step
backwards and shake his head or something like that like it would stop there but um yeah no i
don't i don't finish this thing up as like a really happy customer or anything like that of
course not no and he shouldn't the fact that he doesn't realize that going in is a little i'll
be like you know i'm mad but what makes me even madder is that you don't realize that going in is a little... I would be like, you know, I'm mad. But what makes me even madder is that you don't realize that I'm mad.
Yeah.
Well, it's part of his thing.
Like, the cleaning ladies came in.
And like I said, the cleaning ladies came in and removed 95% of the mess.
But that's, like, not good enough.
You know, like, when you still see, like, a layer of dust on the floor or like when they miss shelves 95 of
this kind of mess like we wanted it better than that and uh ed would come in and be like this
place looks great this place this is looking really good you you know like anyone else would
have charged you 5 000 for this the fact that they clean your house for $1,200 and it came out like this, like, you, this is good. And it's like, okay, one horseshit because the other contractor was
charging $1,000 to clean. You know, you're paying, we split $1,200. So six and six,
that to me is just normal and customary, not some super deal. And it's not great.
So when he says, this place is amazing, you got a deal. He wants me to says this place is amazing you got a deal he wants me to think this place
is amazing i got a good deal but what i actually think is noted you will fucking lie to me to my
face you'll lie to me about customary charges you'll lie to me about what we're both plainly
seeing is not as clean as it should have been yeah and um uh you know that but that i i think he's
gone through life being really successful at that sort of thing you know just selling making
people happy with things that they shouldn't be happy with yeah so um sounds like it yeah but uh
but it's over uh i'm in there doing stuff.
Every day we poke away at it.
It's not over yet.
Good luck to you in court, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's not over yet.
So what I did in court, for people who don't know, I withheld $6,000 from what I owed Ed,
and I put that in an escrow account.
So one way it could go out is that $6,000 gets distributed to Ed and Jamal.
If I'm wildly
successful, some of it goes to me.
Then I get a refund.
Maybe some way where they just take the house away
and give it to Jamal instead.
So there's actually no
lien on the house anymore by setting up that escrow
account. Well, it was never on the house.
It was on the payment I owe Ed, but now the lien
is against the escrow account like it's like you know if i completely fail to show up for court and stuff
like that that whole escrow account gets wiped out and distributed to other people but that was
expected you know like it so um so yeah so i i'm free and clear but good should we call it a pkn
yeah i think so all right Alright, thanks for coming out everybody
I guess, I don't know, I'm really just talking to you
Thanks for dragging your
Sick and broken body to the show, Kyle
And powering through
Later Taylor, see you Woody
Yeah, bye