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Painkiller nearly 365.
One for every day of the year.
One for every day of the year.
Kyle, the newest
high hit thing in Twitch streaming, I suppose?
I don't know about that.
He's taking it over. He's taking it over.
He's doing great. We've been having a good time
over there on
twitch.tv slash FPS, Kyle.
How many streams have you done now?
What, four total?
I was going to do one
tonight, but I had some other plans
come up, and I think Taylor did too.
I think I'm going to kick things off tomorrow night
5 p.m. Eastern time if you guys want to
watch. I think me, Taylor,
and HarleyPlays
are going to play some Nazi zombies
most likely. That's kind of the
tentative plan right now. I just spoke to
Harley a minute ago. He said he was up for it. But never know i uh there's a new zombies map uh it's pretty fun
i played it last night taylor played it for a bit with us and uh it was more fun than i thought it
would be like yeah i've come to and i don't know if it's like the zombies is actually better or
what i really think it is is every zombies map i've jumped into for the past five years i've
been like this sucks and i don't like it and i don't want to do pseudo-coups on the wall.
I want to shoot zombies.
And this one actually kind of – granted, it helped that Middy was running around like, I need the sixth pathway.
Let me find the sixth pathway.
Glass, can you jot down these numbers?
And so Kyle and I just got to maul zombies, which was dope.
See, I figured out zombies a long time ago.
What you do is you get little Mitt right
up in there. Get his phone
in one hand, his mouse in the other, and he
does all the Sudoku. He does all
the fucking calculus. Step one, a thousand episodes
of a podcast. Step two,
Torguide
Nazi Zombies.
Yeah, Mitt did all the hard nonsense.
The first zombies map of this
most recent, I liked it. The one with the plane. I liked it too. I thought it was Taylor, you didn't like the first zombies map of this most recent? I liked it.
The one with the plane?
Yeah, I liked it too.
I thought it was amazing.
I didn't like it as much as everybody else.
And that's probably just like I'm comparing it to like Dare Rice and all those old ones.
I think it's better than any of those.
It's better than any of those.
Yeah.
To me, it's the best ever.
I think this current iteration of zombies is the best zombies we've ever had.
I think the first zombies map
is like top three zombie maps of all time.
And the current zombies map,
the newest zombies map,
which forgive me,
I don't know the name of it,
but some sort of like German,
like Mauer, Dirtoten or something.
You know, it has all the things
that you like in a zombies map, right?
Not overly complicated.
A few little cool things like zip lines and repelling.
Um, but it also has like really good areas to train, which is the biggest thing, right?
You want everybody to have an area that they can play in.
They can train zombies.
And the cool thing about this new zombies, you're, you feel like such a bad ass that
even if your train gets broken up, you're like, Oh, did two trains converge from two
different directions?
Well, fuck you all. I'm going to press my career skill. There's a big ring of fire now. train gets broken up you're like oh did two trains converge from two different directions well fuck
you all i'm gonna press my career skill there's a big ring of fire now now everything dies and
i'll go whichever direction i want so you've got those get out of shit buttons um get out
gel free cards and uh and i don't know i really enjoyed it last night granted we only played a
little bit i don't know we didn't make it to super late rounds i got the wonder weapon it's fucking
sick yeah you kept describing how cool it was and then being like well i don't know it to super late rounds. I got the Wonder Weapon. It's fucking sick. Yeah, you kept describing how cool it was
and then being like,
well, I don't know how to get to where you are right now
so you can see it.
Eventually, we found out how.
That might impact how much you like it too.
It had like five variations of it, right?
Like you'd start out with the Wonder Pistol
and then depending on what you pick up,
you would get like one of five
level two Wonder Weapons.
So this Wonder Weapon mutates on its own
without you having to go do any like calculus
Like I'm you start with like this
Robocop pistol with like energy coming out of it and instead of the projectiles coming out of the barrel
You've got this like robot guy who's like spinning around in the sky this little orb of energy
And that's where the projectiles come out of so I was loving that it's just destroying everything
But randomly when you kill a zombie, it drops a little power up.
And you're like, oh, let me pick this glowing green shit up.
And now your gun becomes this whole other thing.
And that happens randomly throughout the rounds.
Like maybe once a round, your gun just mutates.
And when you're out of like mutation mode rounds, it just reverts back to the previous mode.
You've got your pistol again.
So that really kept things fresh.
I kept it for like three
or four rounds then i gave it to midi let him try it out there's also like a powered up like
baseball bat which was kind of fun multiple um like souped up enemies there's like some
glowing wraiths that fly in the air and they super they supercharge other zombies then there's a big
like uh like a big daddy type character from bioshohock who's in a big power suit. You got to kill him.
Those little flying wraiths or dementors or whatever
are way more annoying than just the big daddy robot.
I don't know.
Because they heal themselves.
There's something they do to heal themselves.
I haven't figured out what yet.
Good Kiting Area?
Yeah.
I was trying to jump in.
Good Kiting Area is the most important fucking thing in a zombies map they have the opposite design philosophy of good for like a
decade where there's one good kiting area and the most selfish fuck on your team takes it and then
everyone else struggles to stay alive and that is my normal zombies experience trying to make
a kiting area out of not a kiting area yeah and many areas
there's many areas now there's good ones and it sounds like this map has good ones but the previous
one was the first zombies i can think of in a while that had lots of good kiting areas lots of
them and where even your third choice you're fine yeah like even the fourth choice was like doable
like your best player he's like yeah i yeah, I'll play in the swamp.
No big deal.
He can handle that.
This map is very similar.
Three really good places and maybe a fourth.
Wait, did you guys put me in the worst spot?
I don't remember where you were.
Were you by Pack-a-Punch?
Yeah, I was by Pack-a-Punch.
That's a good spot.
Yeah, and that's what I liked about it also,
is the balance of the kiting areas.
Because what it used to be, like Ascension, back in the day in the day it was like all right one guy gets this giant flat platform and you have to
try to fuck up and everybody else gets dog shit where they have to run out in this one that's
literally the map i was thinking of when i described that playing style like one guy gets
this flat and i think there's something on the wall that's useful it might be nades or it might be a gun i think but it's nades or but even the nades like you can buy them and
be point positive if you're training um and then everyone else has to try to kite in like an l
shaped corner or something bullshit like that or you have to like run around an entire third of
the map going through hallways at certain speed this one is like like if that like flat ascension that's the easiest kiting area in the entire history of zombies so if that's a 10
of ease then all of these from this map we played none of them are above a seven they're all similar
your twitch is taylor murker right yeah taylor murker so yeah if any of you guys haven't played
zombies in a while like you got bored of codD, and believe me, I'm with you.
Like, I haven't played a COD in so long, like, the multiplayer.
I haven't touched it.
Like, tune into our stream tomorrow.
It's TaylorMurka on Twitch, FPSKyle on Twitch.
We'll do, like, a squad stream so you can watch all the POVs.
I think that's the right thing to do.
That'd be fun, yeah.
And, like, check it out.
Like, obviously we're not getting paid by fucking Activision to, like, pump their um and uh and and like check it out like i i'm not getting obviously
we're not getting paid by fucking activision to like pump their fucking game breaks or anything
like that but i think if you watch you'll be like oh because like one of my friends like zt like
joined our little discord stream last night i showed him a little bit of what it was like and
he watched midi stream as well on discord and he was like oh this is what zombies is now
shit all right i'm to buy the game.
We sold the game to him last night
just by watching a few minutes of COD gameplay
because he hadn't played zombies in five years or something
back when it was kind of bullshit.
It's a really good iteration of zombies.
Something else they did that's great,
and this is like all these zombie maps
in this most recent game,
is they have the little ammo containers
where you can
go and pay to refill whatever gun you have and like obviously you have a triple pack of punched
i think it's like five grand to refill your ammo which is worth it but it gets rid of that issue
that used to be in every zombies game where it was like if you ran out of ammo you just had to
hope that someone got a max ammo at some point because you just there was nothing to be done if
you were upgraded.
And that was really fucking stupid.
Yeah.
It was just,
it would put in like,
you get to like round 48,
49,
50.
It's like,
Oh,
just pick up a wall gun.
It's like,
no,
you,
you,
you can't,
do you have a job?
Do you have things to do?
You can't kill them that way.
It's not going to work.
I thought wall guns were for points.
Do you get,
you get points for hits or kills?
Both.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. Cause I yeah because i i was never
a zombies expert but i always had this idea like i've got my um uh the laser one you shoot at their
feet whatever that's called right and then the wall gun is for racking up points so you know
you just fire that towards their head into the crowd and it's not even about killing yeah i just
remember like getting to super high about kills now he
says it's about kills now but uh but yeah like like i'm just going for kills anyway because
there's so many goddamn zombies and then specials get mixed in so like is the knife mechanic the
same the knife is nice so like i'm i reaped why are you having a primary oh the throwing knife
you can throw is that what it is you can have up to five hatchets in your inventory and all
of them are one-hit kills.
I think it's the audio that makes me love those kills so much.
It's a meaty sound. I think you can get
the collaterals with it, too. I'm not positive.
Yeah, like triples or something, at least.
Yeah, yeah.
Zombie's got good.
They made the melee really fucking strong,
so I remapped melee to my mouse,
and so I can have my sick shotgun out.
But I can just press my mouse button.
And he'll pull out a knife and do this punch slash kind of thing.
And I don't know.
It's really good for getting points.
But anyway, yeah, tomorrow night, 5 p.m.,
we're going to be streaming some Nazi zombies if you guys want to tune in.
It should be a good time.
We're getting real close to my next sub goal.
Looking forward to that.
And, yeah,
let's make it happen. Jump over there and follow
our channels if you haven't already.
At the very least.
Nice.
I'm
packing for my next moto trip.
I think I'm leaving Friday, something like that.
And it should be about
2,000 miles altogether, mostly gravel
roads. Well, maybe not mostly because I'm counting the way home.
Which bike are you taking?
The new one.
Her name is Bertha.
She's a little bigger, more powerful.
And my friends are taking bikes in that class too.
So you kind of want to match your friend's bikes.
It's a big, powerful.
You should name it Lizzo.
My wife hates Bertha. She loved inky and kinky um and then the new one i think i'm going with buffy she's very lightweight very powerful
slicer dicer like the vampire slayer yeah you want the alliteration too so you have them all
start with oh bertha buffy and kinky i guess that doesn't matter. You're going to have to rename that one. Kinky.
Yeah, I'm psyched about it.
We're camping this time.
So every night, you know, outside.
And it just leads to a whole nother level of like packing and preparation.
That's kind of good.
I hate to be like, oh, I've got all this anxiety around it.
It's a moto trip, asshole.
Man the fuck up.
Put your shit in a bag and hit the road.
But I'm still, you know,
like, where am I going to
find a spot for my wet wipes or whatever?
You're so weight limited and you already
have like the essentials, the tent,
the
pots and pans are up.
I have a little pot
and pan kit that fits a stove inside it.
Hikers will know what it's a.
Yeah.
Yes.
And,
um,
but it just seems like there's a million things that it,
like the wet wipes are a good example.
Like they take an amount of space,
like a book does almost.
And I feel like I have a thousand things in that class.
Is there going to be a shower? Like one of those, like camping, like, like, cause like thousand things in that class is there gonna be a shower
like one of those like camping like like because like last time i went camping and it's been a
while um there was like one of those like camp showers like like a little area with like
bathrooms and showers like within like a quick walk away i'm hoping for some of that um the guy
one of the guys i was with is like, it looked like there was, you know, some water sources near the primitive camping.
And I'm like, what?
So I'm jumping in a river and not no flush toilets.
I've seen this beaver shit before.
I'm not getting tricked a second time.
That was the best when we were bathing in beaver shit last time.
We're so lucky we didn't get some sort of infection
or parasite.
We were all doing it.
I'm down there
in Muslim prayer stance.
Just throwing the water over
myself, anointing myself with
filth.
Anointing yourself with filth.
And then Thursday night
we stay in a hotel for the show because I need internet and we'll see.
I'm half hoping we get a rainy Tuesday or something and I can wash all my clothes and have a hotel night.
Are you looking forward to the camping part of it as much as the biking part?
If I were king, we'd probably stay in hotels.
One of the guys I'm going with is between jobs.
So I'm not inclined to like force expenses upon him and his family fair enough or pick them up myself so we're camping
that guy's priorities
in between jobs go on a 2 000 mile bike trip now that's a good point i didn't consider that
because i've known about i didn't want to say anything about the guy who was between jobs go on a 2 000 mile bike trip now that's a good point i didn't consider that because i've known about i didn't want to say anything about the guy who was between jobs
because you told me like weeks ago but like what the fuck is he doing on this trip why ain't he out
like looking for a job he's actually um the job hunt's going really well and he's not in a super
hurry because he's still getting paid ah so he's good yeah you know like it he could i suppose get a job early and get
double paid if he was super ambitious but it's kind of like you know it's been a good summer
so uh that's fair he's just not getting uh lakinta in money because because i'm just thinking like
like if i'm between jobs like maybe it's time to sell that bike brother like like maybe it's time
to he has three bikes i don't he's scratching that hard plenty of them to sell
yeah yeah no he's he's a smart guy who employer would be lucky to have and i think he's got a
couple you know like uh jobs in the pipeline does he have his merch store up yet i don't know what
we're talking about he's gonna need a merch store. Everybody needs one. Yep. We started selling professional felon shirts.
We sold so many. Did you really?
I like that.
That's awesome. I'm glad you...
I'm glad those are a big hit.
I can't imagine you people walking down the street wearing a professional
felon shirt, but I'm good on you
for buying them, boys. I appreciate it.
That's fantastic.
Are they still available?
Of course. I'm getting that Colorado house in cash. boys i appreciate it that's fantastic are they still available can of course buy that colorado
house in cash i yeah we paid for the motorcycle this month it's been a good month yeah uh damn
good for you good for you t-shirts we had some some other good ideas last night when we were
streaming for t-shirts i won't say any of them in case they don't come to fruition but there
were some funny ones there were some that absolutely no one would,
would buy.
That's the thing with a lot of like YouTuber and like internet personality
t-shirts is like,
like no one wants a shirt that just says something horribly offensive on it.
Unless they're wearing it on like a call.
It's like a joke.
Get it.
It's like,
cause I've done that before.
I have a shirt in there right now that I was putting on yesterday,
like a bullshit T-shirt that I used to work out.
And it says, there's nowhere I'd rather be than Beaver Valley.
And it is like a stylized look that looks like a woman laying down with her tits
and her pussy is a waterfall.
And like, I was about to walk to my car and drive to the gas station
to get a Gatorade.
And I was like, oh, oh, no.
Okay.
I'm going to go through one or two. I'm not wearing this
in public. I've done that.
Here I am at like, I'll call
myself 39, 42 years
old, something like that at the time
with a bitches be crazy t-shirt on.
Like, oh, I'm at the
grocery store. I didn't think this through.
At the bank.
Yeah, right?
So we'd like to cancel the account. I didn't think this through. At the bank. Yeah, right? So we'd like to cancel the account.
I don't believe this is your
account.
This is a lot of money in here and I don't think
that the bitches be crazy.
Did you assault Mr. Woodworth
in the parking lot?
Where is the real
Mr. Woodworth and what have you done with him?
Bitches Be Crazy I think was my leading t-shirt
that sold more than any other.
Like Kyle said,
people wore those out?
What is that about?
I got no problem with that. Y'all wear what you want to wear.
I'm going to get a
Snow's Protection Agency shirt.
I like that.
It's got a rolled up dollar bill and a pile of coke
he sold meth he was very clear about that yo i don't sell coke only meth
as if he would be offended he seemed slightly offended like yeah yeah yeah he's he's above
selling meth okay and he didn't sell it anyway. He trafficked it.
It's a very important distinction.
Does that make him higher up in the food chain?
Is that what that?
It makes him higher up in the years sentenced.
Oh, okay.
You know, I don't remember specifically,
but whatever I said before,
I used to remember things better,
but he may have done like –
I don't remember if it was – it was like either less than 10 or less than 20.
It was like on the verge of one or the other.
It was either he did nine years or 18 years or something.
Like an ungodly amount of time he had been in there.
But he got out last year.
I'm almost positive.
There was a chance he was going to get out last January.
Not this most recent January, but the one before.
But he was like all down one day.
They had designated him
a gang member or something.
I don't remember the verbiage,
but it was like a threat to society
or some shit.
That's a real bummer, man.
I'm thinking, you kind of are, bro.
Based on what you've said, it seems like a pretty
accurate characterization of what he is.
Yeah. Anyway, I hope he's out now Based on what you've said, it seems like a pretty accurate characterization of what he is.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I hope he's out now and nowhere near me and doing his thing.
I'm sure he's doing something on the up and up, not trafficking anything.
He's working at Whole Foods now.
He had a body shop. He had a body shop or something
to fall back on. His son had been
keeping the body shop going. There was something like
that going on. There was a business to return to.
In terms of morality,
it seems like Girl Scout cookies are worse.
Charity, marketing,
pretending that this goes to a good
organization. I don't like anything that supports
girls and
teaches them leadership skills
like that that can't be a good thing no no certainly not that gives you a lot of hot water
sometimes yeah i mean not for guys it's full it's cool of course but of course girls who's
gonna invent things well well if we're looking at the guy version that's just molestation island
uh fucking boy scouts dude have you been following the afghanistan annie stuff
it's wild afghanistan annie uh yeah i've seen i think so man did you see those like people getting
uh sucked off of the uh the cargo planes i heard about it but i didn't see i wouldn't call it
sucked off they were cloned off to it so what happened is they filled the plane and looking at the insides of the planes they
truly did fill it it was like shoulder to shoulder pack like sardines it wasn't like they were saying
no no you know we won't take everyone we can they took everyone they could and then they took
oh go on so they're taking uh interpreters and families. They're taking people who have like a ticket.
There's like a no ticket kind of like no ticket.
They're getting knocked off like snow.
Okay.
I'm sure you're right.
I was just like, come on, everybody.
Hop on board.
Well, even just looking at the pictures, I think it is fair to say they filled the plane as much as they could.
Yeah.
And then people were clinging to like the tires, the little,
I don't know what the post is between the tires that like that retractable
thing.
Yeah.
Landing gear.
Yeah.
What's wrong with me?
And like to the wheels and stuff like that.
And then as they took off,
you know,
some people jumped off right before they got any altitude.
Some people went to like 700 feet and took off.
One guy landed and they found his dead body in the wheel well at the destination.
Cause I guess he probably couldn't breathe.
And you know,
they got like crushed by the machinery or something.
Maybe I feel like I've got to fold up in there.
I hear you.
I don't know if there's space to live in there or not.
Maybe,
maybe you get a little crushed.
Like if you crush me below my knee,
I'd still live.
Yeah. But I think if it's commercial planes fly at like 36 000 feet 32 000 feet but you can't breathe there so maybe that's what killed him i'm just making that up okay so
oh do you know something i did i did a lot of research on it so those planes fly at like you
said like above 30 000 below, below 40,000 feet.
It depends on weather conditions and such.
But they also fly at 550-plus miles per hour.
And you've got a wind chill factor of well below.
It's in the negatives.
It's negative 10, negative 100, whatever the fuck.
It's negative 30 degrees up there or something like that.
When they're going 600 miles per hour at like at like 35 000 altitude it's really really
fucking cold and there's no oxygen anyway so even if you brought an oxygen supply you would still
freeze but forget all that because you can't hold on motherfucker like you got you can't hang on
anyway you would even if you carabiner yourself the flopping around would literally beat you to
death there's a video of a guy who's got like his arm or something like stuck in some part of the Even if you carabiner yourself, the flopping around would literally beat you to death.
There's a video of a guy who's got his arm or something stuck in some part of the aircraft.
They've got flaps and stuff.
He's wedged in the flaps or something. But you're describing people on the outside of the plane with this.
This guy, I think he held onto the front wheel and got retracted into the plane.
Oh, that crushes you.
There's not room for you in there.
What they found in there wasn't a
person.
What they found were the remains
of a person. That's what they even said.
They were like, we found material that we
believe to have once been there.
Well, it's at least
blood.
We found some Arab goo
in the landing carriage of the plane.
There was a guy on the outside. They like filming like looking through one of the the windows on the side and he's just like like
flailing in the wind like violently and it's blown his shoes off it's blown his clothes off
oh very dead very very dead uh seven seven fell off um seven individuals fell off
that that was it sounds like kyle has have you seen the videos of them falling from like 700 feet
no yeah they landed on and i saw the video they i heard they landed on a roof and i pictured like
an american suburb roof like you'd see in breaking bad these are more flat commercial looking roofs like cement top
almost and uh they landed on that and there's the body that it it really gets pretty smashed up on
that fall yeah yeah 800 feet on the concrete i mean that's basically yeah i don't know you know
like what were they thinking like like what were they were they thinking like that they will stop
when they see muhammad is on the plane they will stop when they see Muhammad is on the plane.
They will know.
They do not want me.
Why am I going? Dude, I would be afraid to be anywhere near a plane about to take off.
Like, in my head, I saw the clips of people, like, trying to block the plane as they're trying to leave.
And I was like, you're going to get sucked into the engines or something.
Like, I don't know how that works.
If I think there's certain death, like, at the edge of of the airport i could see trying my luck in the wheel well like maybe that works out especially
if i get a vibe like if i can look up and see what i'm going to retract into yeah i don't know
there's a little mini bar up there and everything
the other guy but maybe me the guys that clung i, I think, clung to the outside of the airplane.
Yeah.
What's the thought?
That's not a good thought process.
That's not going to work out.
How fast do they think planes go?
I don't think that they know how fast planes go.
I think that that literally is part of it.
They've only seen planes fly at a few hundred or a thousand feet of altitude.
And you're like,
yeah,
they just kind of coast around up there.
It can't be.
I've been on a mountain before.
It's not so bad.
Um,
Oh,
so politically,
I don't know.
So on my Facebook feed,
all of the guys who love this Muslim ban are now suddenly concerned about the
Afghans and their future.
Are they talking? It's not Afghans and their future. Afghanistan. Are they talking?
It's not Afghans.
It's Afghanistan.
Annie's.
That's what Michael Scott calls them.
I'm like,
well,
I stand corrected.
Anyway,
I,
I listened to Biden speech.
He did a 20 minute speech.
Maybe this is my bias coming through.
I thought it was a
perfect speech he was like we could have left 15 years ago this would happen we could have stayed
15 years from now he's like i'm the fourth president to be dealing with this afghan war
two democrats two republicans i will not kick the can down the road and leave it to a fifth
president to eventually deal with this. He's like,
we did not expect it.
We,
he's like,
we got,
I'm paraphrasing.
We kind of thought the Taliban would take over.
We had no idea it'd be this fast.
So we're sending more people in there.
More securely lead them.
There's one clip where he kind of looks.
So first of all,
I think he did the right thing in pulling out.
They definitely,
they definitely didn't do it well um there's no
reason like especially after biden is literally on camera last week or whenever it was and he's
like he's like you're not gonna see a scene where we're being airlifted out of embassies or anything
like vietnam do not compare this to vietnam the taliban is nothing like the north vietnamese that
was a well-organized, well-equipped army.
There are 400... Did he say all that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the part of the quote.
The Afghan army is 300,000 men
strong, and they are well-equipped because we equipped
them. The Taliban is 70,000.
Well, wait, that last part's true.
The Taliban is 70,000
strong.
And we know because we equipped them, too.
We know because we equipped them, too, along with the uh and he said all this and then like they're intersplicing his words with
everything the opposite of everything he's saying is that's going to happen happening so i wish he
had that all of that makes him look bad but pulling out in general great idea get the fuck
out it's we're a trillion down let's not make it 1.2 trillion next year and 1.4 the next year the time frame thing like res i feel like it should resonate with
everyone like i see journalists and people being like we couldn't have been there for just like
all these like warmonger neocons like we couldn't have been there for one more year to construct
and it's like you fucking liar it's been decades of this do you really think like the people in
the afghan army project is the children of the people in the afghan army project is the children of the
people in the afghan army from 20 years ago yeah how many generations did you need to get this
right and and biden said a thing he was like we are not going to fight for an afghanistan that
the afghanistan people won't fight for they obviously rolled right over they negotiated
their um surrender before we even left.
That's why this was a bloodless revolution.
They didn't go in there and lose a war or battle.
They were like, all right, come on in.
Just like we like the Taliban more than America, actually.
Yeah, I guess.
And so it's embarrassing that we didn't leave more smoothly, that the Taliban didn't just sit still for 14 days and let us leave more completely they did they did that's the worst part is like finish leaving like kabul like we had extra days in kabul like that was the last
place to fall like like like we were slowly withdrawing to kabul and then leaving kabul
the thing that didn't make any sense to me, it's so terribly organized
is that we still had
people in our embassy in Kabul
but the military was gone
so we had to send more Marines in.
We had
tens of thousands of troops there, whatever it was.
At least 10,000. I think it was like 7,000 or so.
Okay.
We extract them and we leave
these people behind in our fucking embassy with god
knows what kind of documentation weaponry material who knows what kind of like they were shredding it
for weeks before they left so how long does it take like if you gave me a factory full of paper
we could shred it in a day yeah like i don't fire like i was thinking fire as well so there's a
reason they didn't leave even sooner and And basically they felt like if we started getting interpreters out and our people out and stuff like that, it sent a message of like desperation.
You're fucked.
So we kind of had a business as usual until it wasn't like we wanted to leave all at once.
And that process turned out to be a clusterfuck because they thought the taliban would
take over much more slowly yeah instead they're like all right we'll leave all at once the taliban
rushed in and we look stupid the things we should be like the best in the world at are things like
organization and uh and and like all the branches and and groups working together like like that's
what we should that's where we should shine and it feels like we embarrassed ourselves on the way out like we stumbled out the door leaving he's like we're really good at
getting in like we spent a couple months getting in yeah yeah like if you need to put an entire
army at i don't know turkey's doorstep then we could do it in a hurry right but if we need to
get an army out oh no no we just donate all our tanks and Humvees to the Turks.
That's how we do it.
I'm sure you saw the images.
There are these images of where the Taliban are capturing the weapon caches that we've left for the Afghani army.
And I know a little bit about weaponry, I guess. So I can look at the pile of guns and I can start assigning dollar amounts. And granted, these are dollar amounts that I would have to pay
as like a
licensee,
a private citizen of the US who has the
proper licenses to buy these things.
Those M240
Bravos are about
$30,000 and the
M240... So the military pays
$45,000, I assume.
The military might pay $80.
I was just joking.
The military might pay $100.
They might pay $100 and get a kit with it.
I don't know what they pay, but they don't buy one at a time.
Some politician's uncle works at Lockheed Martin.
No, we'll give you $85.
So the 240 Bravas are like $30,000 when I would want to buy one.
And the 249 saws are around $17,000 or $20,000 when I would want to buy one.
I had one.
They told me the price was like $17,500 at the time, and they gave it to me for free.
But like $17,500 was like the good guy discount, and free was the FPS Russia discount.
But if you wanted one as like a gun store, you're probably looking at around $20,000 or something like that, at least the mark 46 that i had in any case there were piles of them and i don't mean
like these in the helicopters you're talking about the guns like it was a trip the same thing
happened four years ago maybe it was syria we were leaving and i remember like the russians
taking over the kitchens with the coca-cola refrigerators and the ammo and all that. It's the same sort of thing. I guess it's dangerous to try to get your equipment out.
So they just leave it behind.
It's absurd that like how many decades of America nation building are there?
And it's like,
we're in their nation building and the whole time we're being for 20 years,
we've been lied to by brass in the military.
So many people being like,
well,
there's Afghan.
We got this really well
trained afghani army it's gonna everybody loves the politicians and the structure and the way
it's coming together it's definitely not going to fall apart a seinfeld episode after we leave
22 minutes later oh i promise you we haven't spent 20 years funding a kleptocracy that took
every penny we gave them and put it in their own pockets exactly oh the afghans love these guys
who are sincerely working in their best interests how many times are we going to look like assholes
fools pouring all this money into like nation building projects just for it to be like
yeah you failed but you know the real mission of enriching yourselves and select individuals
and companies was successful so biden took it on the chin this week for a pullout that looked awful.
The optics were terrible.
I wonder, let's fast forward 10 months or something.
Is he the guy that got us out of Afghanistan?
Is it still all about the Humvees we left behind?
We'll have more troops there in 10 months. By the way, from what I understand, with those Humvees and stuff we left behind, it costs the American taxpayer less to just have a new one manufactured and sent to Fort Namalfort than it would to ship a helicopter back home.
So we're actually saving money by doing that.
The issue is that we're not destroying them.
them now with a helicopter i think that like the taliban doesn't have the logistics in place to like keep up the upkeep on a helicopter like like like you know what do you like like the up what
what aircraft upkeep is like like maybe not worst helicopters the worst and military helicopters are
a whole nother level above that when you've got weapon systems and stuff and integrated computer
systems all working together and all that stuff there's probably a fucking kill switch on those goddamn things um and um but but guns guns are a slightly different story now i don't know what
kind of access who 762 by 51 and 556 ammo the taliban have but i did see soldiers with m240
bravos holding them in the streets with full belts on them and you know boxes of uh of ammo attached
i don't know what yeah i mean it's
it it's a hell of a weapon system like i've played with those things before it's it's fucking
it's lethal it's lethal as fuck yeah so i i don't know so the pullout was bad but the idea of the
pullout i still think was good it was trump's idea um i feel like if you're a democrat you're like
biden did a great thing if you're a republican biden did a terrible thing let's forget that
trump signed the treaty where we'd leave in 14 months you know trump wanted to get out in may
we're a little behind schedule um but in any way and look trump said we should get out biden
inherited this thing said you know what i'm not changing the thing maybe run behind schedule and he did pull out pull out was kind of shitty but
yeah well he's 100 right with like the it doesn't matter if we leave in 2030 or 2035 like what did
you think was going to happen like that it would just like like really what did we think was going
to happen i thought if we just funded the kleptocracy a little bit longer yeah it would work out better like and i hate all these fucking all the people
who lie all the journalists and people who lied us into these wars in the first place like just
just come out and say it we never are gonna leave we never want to leave we want to keep our presence
there forever this whole like bullshit oh six more months to get our plan in place it's like no no no
no like you're you should be fired.
You shouldn't be allowed to talk about these issues anymore.
You've clearly been lying knowingly.
A lot of them.
It's just, it's fucked up.
And like, it's yeah, I agree with Biden a hundred percent on that.
It doesn't matter if we did this five years ago, 10 years ago, five years from now, 10 years from now, it's not going to work.
So let's cut our losses and invest at home.
I don't know why we stayed more than a like after the issue with a like like once
we had al-qaeda out like why didn't we leave then like that was when we leave like who fucking cares
about the taliban the issue was al-qaeda i don't know why we stayed more than a day after al-qaeda
was dealt with and osama bin laden certainly after osama was dead right once we really knew where
osama was because we thought he was in we thought they told us that they had taken out a mountain
hollowed a mountain these people with their shovels and picks had hollowed a mountain and
built a like i don't know some sort of like a dwarven city in lord thank you that's what i'm
looking for but like a yes they built moria inside of a mountain and And that's where Osama bin Laden's like masterminding all these things.
It turned out he was in a house with high fences in Pakistan.
Yeah.
Like watching Babe, Pig in the City.
And porn.
Lots and lots of porn.
But anyway, I'm glad we pulled out.
It sucks that it was a big waste of time and it was a 20-year-long mistake costing.
I heard trillions.
Kyle heard one trillion.
I'm not sure that I'm right.
But in any case, a tremendous amount of money.
We could have done some...
We could have used that money for better things.
Yeah, I was reading that China put
a 40,000-kilometer monorail system in for $800 billion.
Can you imagine if we had something like like across
like you know those graphics where it's like there's gonna be high-speed magic trains all
over the place and it's gonna revolutionize transit no no we won't even fix potholes fuck you
like that's basically what it is when i went on that tat ride there was like i-40 had no bridge
people don't know interstate for interstate 40 is is one of America's most important interstates.
It goes from one coast to the other, and it crosses the Mississippi River, but that bridge was out.
And I was like, wait, no, I-40?
That bridge can't be out.
It's a very important bridge.
That's like right here.
Could that be the most important bridge in America, crossing the mississippi in the middle of the country on
interstate 40 like there might maybe some california bridge is more trafficked i don't
know but it's way way up there and it was out i i couldn't fathom that that's not even the first
time it's been out like i remember like because like it's close to where i am 40 crossing over
the mississippi into illinois and it's like oh you just you just can't drive to illinois today okay well
that's or you have to like go into a bullshit tiny you have to go by wisconsin
we're gonna loop around past detroit come back to the back side like it's absurd a long long
time ago call it 20 years ago a bridge went out um by
philadelphia people if people know the schuylkill expressway i think it was i-95 that went out there
was a tire fire under the bridge and it ruined it broke it like it made it unrideable they declared
a federal emergency and they built they rebuilt a bridge it got it was i think it was even a lane
wider and it took them like four weeks it was like japan level shit or china level shit yeah is that are those days gone i
think so but like i like those gifs where you'll see like in china or japan exactly where it's like
oh a bridge collapsed at 3 a.m but by morning rush hour one had been built how how did you do this we spent two and a half months
looking at seemingly level dirt before we go to the next stage i feel like if you if you open it
up to a private company right i think you could do that sort of thing like i think if you if you
if you rely on the department of transportation there's so much red tape or maybe if you rely on
a unionized job if there's so much red tape but if you just if you just of transportation, there's so much red tape, or maybe if you rely on a unionized job,
if there's so much red tape,
but if you just,
if you just call like Woody's fucking bridge building company in the middle
of the night,
you're like,
Hey,
it's go time,
time and a half pay,
double pay,
triple pay.
Yeah.
Get everybody on the job.
We need a bridge in the morning.
No,
you don't have to meet spec.
Just do it.
We need a bridge that people can cross.
Yeah.
Like it happened.
And I think that's what the Chinese, we need to go, go mode mode i don't know how you do that you'd be like all right taylor
here's the deal we need this bridge on september 1st the pay is a billion dollars
on september 2nd you go to 800 million half a million you know and you'd be like, holy shit. I make a profit on the first and not on the fifth.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
But, but yeah, I'm glad we're out of Afghanistan.
Like going back to the, what are your guys' predictions?
I, I bet six months from now we have troops back there in at least a couple thousand.
I don't think so.
I think six months from now it's out of the news. I hope so. Oh, and I think it's horrible. I think women are not
going to school anymore. They're in full burkas. They're like Afghanistan has reverted a thousand
years, but we don't look at it. Yeah. And it's it's not really our duty to stay there anymore.
Like like it hasn't been for a long time.
Like,
are we just going to start picking every country where people are treated
crappy and like,
all right,
you did.
We don't like the way you're treating people.
So we're going to invade your country and put up a regime that'll fall in
half an hour.
Team America.
Well,
please.
I feel like world nation building.
I mean to say is a little like helping somebody lose weight.
Like not, it has to come from within. I, I mean to say, is a little like helping somebody lose weight.
Like, no, it has to come from within.
I can't have enough motivation for both of us.
I can't do, I can't, like, I could, I guess, temporarily feed you and prop you up and get a little success for this.
But if you don't want it, it all falls apart.
It doesn't stick.
That's nation building.
It has to come from them.
Yeah. Have we done that successfully anywhere?
No, he gained the weight back.
All of these
countries we try and help.
Right back to the same weight he was when he left my house.
We poured trillions into getting him to lose weight.
And now they're so mad about being forced in the diet.
I've done a little nation the building myself in my experience like ten
thousand dollars down the drain a month of hard work and we're right back to square one and it's
been five years yeah that's but kyle you could have done that for six months and by month seven
you'd be right back to square one you can't do it for someone else no you can't so uh anyway
the parallels now and now he's passed away in afghanistan i hear so like it was all for not
anyway i i didn't know he was a journalist but they got him they got him over there per bernie
per bernie um i can't remember his last name bernie something say it out loud buddy it's a joke yeah don't say it
it's a
it's a joke the name is a joke
it makes you say a bad thing
I'm trying to process
what the name is
burn
burn
burn yeah yeah burn and then igor is a russian name oh oh my god now i have it
i'm like so i hear burn like bernie sanders first name and then i hear igor like um
the russian name and i'm like burn igor i'm i'm not
seeing it saying he's a communist that's great you're like you can't pronounce the name so you're
untouchable with the twitch jokes
bernie
my dyslexia takes all your power away. That's what you're going to say.
Jesus Christ. They got Hassan to read that shit out loud, and he was like,
oh no, Bernie. And then he said it.
Like, fucking, they got him.
Oh no. Wait, wait, wait, no!
No! Why you posted that
and banned them? Why you posted that and banned them?
Mods, get him!
Why you posted that and make him a VIP?
In the chat for the
joke. Jesus Christ.
And it's the wings picture on
there. That's great. Oh, yeah.
They post it every time there's a natural disaster
or something. He
apparently died back in
the Beirut thing, or
Lebanon, when all that ammonium nitrate
went off, and it looked like a nuke or whatever.
Remember that?
Yeah.
Oh, so they're just doing the Sam Hyde mass shooter meme.
Yeah.
Like every time there's a natural national disaster,
either or, like he's been lost in the rubble.
And then they're looking for him.
Oh, back when Opie and Anthony was a subreddit,
it was my favorite subreddit,
they would do the same thing with Anthony Cumia, except every time there's a terrorist attack, they would use one of the pictures where he looked Arab.
Yeah.
And they would call him Antoine Al-Cumia or something and say that he was responsible for destroying people's lives. I think he was also lost in that apartment collapse down in Florida a while back.
He's been
involved in a lot. I'm wondering
if perhaps the wildfires in Siberia
may have claimed him as well.
We need to be on the lookout for that. Have you guys seen the wildfires
in Siberia? I read this thing.
Seems like a place I could use it. It's cold, right?
Yeah, it's so cold. They're warming things up up there
big time. Apparently, the wildfires
in Siberia, I love this stat,
are bigger than all the fires on the rest of the planet combined.
If you took every fire that exists on the rest of the Earth,
not even close to what's happening in Siberia right now.
Damn.
Why?
I mean, Siberia is bigger than most continents.
Is it because other places have more effective fire suppression?
When I hear Siberia, I don't think of it as really ripe for fire in the same way that our high deserts are.
It's just a giant woodland, right?
I picture a snowy woodland area that's as big as a third of the United States or something.
But the East Coast is a giant woodland, mostly.
Populated, though.
True, but if you don't do anything with the East Coast,
you get a forest.
At least in my area, I think yours too.
If you just ignore land for 10 years, it turns into a forest.
And so that means when I fly around on my paramotor,
it's all forest or the exception to it,
which is somebody's yard or farm
like someone has purposely stopped it from being forest which from the sky you can really really
see it but it doesn't get we don't get big fires here because it's wet it's always wet the ground's
wet it's it's it's just humid and it's not dry kindling like it is out west so this is siberia
i i thought it would be not
prone to fire like here, but
no. They're saying that like fucking
woodland. They're not even like that urgent
about putting a lot of the areas out because
like Kyle said, like it is so
far from where anyone lives
like they don't
even care. Yeah, I wonder if that land
has a lot of potential
like
is there some gas
okay like what does minneapolis really bring to the table that created a major city crime
but like why is siberia not have anything why doesn't infrastructure pop up in places i think
it's i think it's so cold and i don't think there's enough russian population to like
like like use the territory they have.
It's like,
it's like how Canada is,
right?
Like if you look at the population density of Canada,
it's all like 95% of Canadian population is along the border with the United,
with the United States.
And then there's that entire gigantic Northern area that goes all the way to
the North pole.
Like that's mostly a little smaller than the map makes it,
makes it look, you know that I'm sure. Yeah, but it's still enormous. Like, like that's mostly a little smaller than the map makes it makes it look you know that i'm sure yeah but it's still enormous like it's huge um there's a reason that
like they don't go up there there's nothing to do up there yeah but freeze to death it's yeah and
it's all like permafrost the ground so it's like what are you gonna grow something there no no
maybe i'm stupid but i was surprised when you get out west how much like land there is
that hasn't met its potential either you know like on the east coast if you need a fucking gopro
mount there's some store that sells it every 12 miles there's gonna be a best buy a walmart a
target or whatever in oklahoma you might be 250 miles from your GoPro mount, for example.
Oh, yeah.
Do you need a microphone?
Filming out there was always such a hassle.
Whenever we would film in nowhere Texas or nowhere Oregon,
and we'd realize it was very common for me to be on a work trip
and be like, like oh we left the
gopro batteries or like oh we we don't have enough memory cards like we need another 64 gig like
micro sd you know like well we have an eight gig one here from seven years ago yeah that that has
that has like no speed or something Don't delete my porno!
That's my cock cam.
Someone linked me a cam that's
built into a cock ring the other day.
They're like, this is for you, Kyle.
What is the purpose of that?
So you've got that POV of the
thrusting right into the vagina.
Yeah, but you're already there doing it.
Well, you want to save it for later.
That's what cameras are for. These are treasured memories.
What are treasured memories?
In your scrapbook?
No, like I had an ex-girlfriend who had an Apple TV.
Show the kids.
This is when you were conceived, sweetie.
Maybe.
Some of you almost leaked out, see?
My ex-girlfriend had an Apple TV,
and it would autoplay quote-unquote memories like whenever
like the tv went to sleep mode or whatever and generally speaking it was like ah vacation you
know here's the booze cruise and here's like the vacation and i was always like we have to be very
careful with this like like our quote-unquote memories could get real x-rated real quick if
we don't store photographs and stuff in the right place like i don't know like all we need is for like all of your friends to
be here and all of a sudden like memories become a fucking x-rated show or something like that
that's gonna be awfully embarrassing that's possible i think there's some logic in that
because um my phone shows that my my iphone like i don't know you swipe down and they'll like just grab pictures
from your camera roll and show it to you then it's almost always faces or like uh landscapes
and stuff like that it doesn't even i don't have any nudes on my phone but it doesn't even have
like lame shit like up close pictures of an electrical connector or something like that
like it it doesn't give somehow it knows that's not a memory so or like text on a
label i can't read anymore because i'm old i have to like take a picture and magnify it zoom that is
a very old thing to do oh taylor i'll be there done it actually yeah i mean i've definitely like
without my glasses like pulled my phone to here and I have to close my bad eye.
And then I have to see correctly.
What is this, Kyle?
You were on the Joe Rogan.
Not on the Joe Rogan Experience.
On the Joe Rogan Subreddit.
The Subreddit is asking for Kyle to come on his show.
Ooh, that's cool.
I would do a good job.
Of course.
I would do that.
Of course.
The Subreddit suggests they wait until you're off probation so you can blaze with Joe Rogan.
I would like that.
I don't even smoke pot, but
if Snoop Dogg passed me the blunt,
I'd say yes.
It's Snoop.
Yeah.
If you guys want that sort of thing,
go tweet this post, guest request FBS Russia
to his Twitter or something like that. I don't know how that sort of thing works, but yeah, I would absolutely do that sort of thing, go tweet this post, guest request FBS Russia to his Twitter
or something like that.
I don't know how that sort of thing works.
But, yeah, I would absolutely do that.
It's kind of like one of my dreams.
Honestly, I love JRE.
I've been watching for years, and I'd love to be on that show.
Yeah, it'd be cool.
Yeah.
Oh, I guess Joe Rogan can't legally smoke where he is right now.
Oh, in Texas?
That's true.
Yeah.
That wouldn't stop him, but
that, you know. It might
change the camera angle.
Yeah, we'd pull a
Summit.
We'd frequently drop, you don't eat
on Summits, so Summit smokes weed
continuously, but he'll always be like,
oh, what's over here?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Oh, man.
I dropped it.
It was a Utah quarter.
I'm still collecting those.
My PC was overheating.
It's water cooled, as you can hear.
And I had to get her going again.
And then I guess I was talking about that on my stream
the other day and somebody was like, yeah, did you see you lost a sponsorship
a while back? I guess,
I'm just based on Twitch chat and
they tell me JRE dies every week, so who knows
if it's the truth or not. But they were like,
they said that at some point,
Summit messed up his camera angle
or maybe his camera came on when it wasn't supposed to
and he had his big bong and he was
hitting it. I guess he lost a sponsorship sponsorship they said he lost his monster deal which is
very lucrative um which would be a shame yeah and it's weird so um i'm in the i'm in the
motocross world but i've watched the motocross world and monster's a big sponsor there dude
those guys are definitely on pot it's weird to me that they would be like sensitive
about like yeah yeah i know um i i agree with that 100 um yeah whatever uh i like i like monster
also like red bull um my uh i guess i amazon accidentally gave me a case of red bull the
other day and i was so hyped i was like fuck, fuck, yeah, I love Red Bull. And I looked, and it's full sugar Red Bull.
Oh, that sucks.
You know what?
I want to say they have protein 3X drinks.
Now, I only drink these things when I'm on a long trip and I'm fighting fatigue.
Whatever.
Six-hour car drive.
Got four hours left to go, and I'm sleeping.
like i'm whatever six hour car drive got four hours left to go and i'm like sleeping so i pull into the gas station and they have like 20 grams of protein and i guess triple the wake you up i
don't know if it's caffeine or taurine or both but and it's coffee flavored and i like it i drink uh
the only protein uh shakes that i like get are called it's uh the pure protein brand off of
amazon i highly recommend it
to anybody who's listening who wants who's like getting fit or like needs a source of protein in
a hurry sometimes and maybe their blender or their food processors in the dishwasher like mine often
is and they're like 140 calories i think roughly in like 2025 maybe 30 grams of protein it's a
bunch i got a fridge full of them you use the cans not the bottles no no like little little
cartons they're like little uh cardboard cartons so when you're done you can just swish them and like they go in
the trash and don't take up a lot of space but i like the s'mores flavor um they're fucking tasty
i like uh one of the things i'll do sometimes if i'm like starving but i don't haven't earned
another meal i'll eat like whole grain cheerios instead of milk. I'll pour in one of those. And it's like, I don't know.
It's excellent macros.
Like it's a shitload of fiber.
It's a,
it's a,
it's like a ton of protein.
Like you might as it's about as healthy as it gets for something that you
can pour in a bowl real quick and eat.
Yeah.
I might've mixed the protein in the triple shot in my head.
I don't know if I can get both at the same time.
Yeah.
I always do caffeine pills for caffeine.
It's just
so easy you're right this is specifically driving i feel you yeah i don't i've been off the caffeine
for uh for a while for like months now so like i'm uh i'm doing a little bit of a mini weight
cut right now i'm gonna drop about 10 i'm thinking about 193 right now so i'm gonna drop on at least
five or six more pounds before i uh hit colorado which is super duper easy to do in 45 days like i can i don't even have to cut calories hard just do like
20 minutes of cardio a day uh i've been hitting bikes in the mornings i'm heavier than i was
before the tat which sucks not a ton heavier like six pounds maybe even seven but like you know
some weight i'd rather not have and um now i'm going on this next trip but my strength is back
i'm like within five pounds of my highs on everything and hopefully i hit the ground
running whatever 10 days from now when i'm lifting again yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna hit up
derek uh once i'm off probation and once i'm back from my colorado trip and we're gonna do a
professional grade fucking bulk um you know, we're going to.
You're going to get strong or big?
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
We're going to go be at full Boagrius mode for about eight,
10 months or something like that.
It'll be fun.
You got to be a real caricature of yourself where people,
everyone agrees you're too big.
You're Jay Cutler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like my family. Oftentimes oftentimes i want you to struggle
on tinder i want you to not be able to scratch your shoulders yes yeah yeah i already can't
scratch my fucking back anymore it's fucking lame i literally can't scratch the middle of my back i
have a back scratch cow things you're up against yeah like one of those spinny things yes yes you know um there's no
middle ground to like backscratcher consumers they're either morbidly obese or jacked as shit
i would imagine yeah it's one or the other or or like they're disabled in some way we've got a guy
in the in the discord who's disabled he's in a wheelchair and he's jacked like he's got a six
pack he's got like big arms and stuff.
And we've got like a weightlifting chat now in our Discord,
and guys are kind of pumping each other up, so to speak,
and keeping each other motivated.
They're showing before pictures, and a few of the guys are chubby, chunky,
whatever you want to call it.
There's a few guys who are like 6'3", 300 pounds.
They've got a ways to go before they hit what they're going they're going for so it's it's cool to see those before pictures
and i hope to see some afters but my boy posted in there and and he's like in the chair and he's
like he's like full fucking six pack and like like ripped arms but he's got like little like
puppet legs and uh and i think i don't remember who did it but maybe dirty because he's always the one what do you squat bro but that dude's got a good sense of humor he thought it was
antagonist yeah it must really lower your um is it bmr basic metabolic rate to be in a chair all
day well actually i should know i don't know. You're wheeling.
I know that wheeling is tiring on your arms if you're not used to it, but it must burn fewer
calories than your legs do. That's a big
muscle group, like your legs, your ass, your
thighs. I would think so.
When I walk, I like...
You like to saunter?
I strut.
That's a full body thing.
I'm a sashayer.
I like to trapes it's like on the office when jim was talking about how the roach walked into the room he
he walked in all like he owned the place
yeah um but but uh but yeah people are uh talking about the fitness more on the uh discord i like
yeah i always i asked uh some guy today was like hey what kind of oil do you use to cook and i'm
like you don't use oil to cook anymore once you're on the grind there's no more oil in your life
you get you get a can of pam and that lasts you the whole month because you just go
and that's it using non-stick anyone
listening and you're trying to get fit um and you're like trying to cut calories you're just
trying to like have better macros in your life there's so many calories in a tablespoon of olive
oil like like if you watch a cooking video there's that famous gordon ramsay thing where he's like
and a bit of olive oil and he's just like he just added a thousand calories to whatever dish he's
yeah that's why it's gonna taste so good it's why it's gonna taste so fucking good but but um He just added a thousand calories to whatever dish he's cooking.
That's why it's going to taste so good.
It's why it's going to taste so fucking good.
It's why restaurant food is so bad.
When they talk about a knob of butter and they fucking get this giant eight tablespoon chunk and they throw it in there.
Say goodbye to all that. I found a lot of cheats along the way for sweets and salty things.
But if what you crave is butter and oil, I don't know what to tell you because it's out like like get yourself a can
of non-stick pam get yourself a non-stick pan and uh you just use that like just a little bit of
that shit butter in particular was one of the easiest things for me to give up and because i
ate a lot i had a tablespoon of butter on my vegetables and then I have a baked potato
with a tablespoon of butter on each side.
And then I just mix it all together until I had some sort of potato butter
soup inside the skin.
And it's delicious.
But as I started entering my calories and chronometer,
it's like,
Oh my God,
these three pads of butter, something that I considered generous, but not a crazy outlier thing that people don't do.
Yeah.
Was like a third or maybe 40% of the calories in that meal.
It was like, fuck, I can eat the same thing.
No butter and cut the calories by a third yeah
you just throw some feta cheese on there i don't know if you like feta but feta cheese is like the
healthiest cheese that i found as far as macros it's almost no calories and you can get like
the diet feta and it's like uh it's kind of a blue it tastes a little bit like blue cheese and
it's a little crumbles of cheese you can buy it uh in like a little i don't know a little container
is the diet feta gross?
It tastes the same to me.
It honestly tastes the same to me.
Like I've used zero fat cheese that's cheddar
and it has the consistency of shredded plastic
that melts and tastes a bit cheesy.
So that's not great.
It's not even worth having.
But if I'm doing like a baked potato or i'm more often
what i do is mashed potatoes i'll sprinkle some feta on top um and that's actually really fucking
good i like feta cheese it's it's the best healthiest cheese i have found um to like include
in a like fitness oriented diet where you're both trying to whether you're bulking or or cutting
people think when you're bulking you can just eat anything you want and to some extent you can you know you're eating a lot more calories
but the idea is that you're eating yeah like a dirty bulk like you don't want to do that like
the idea is you're getting a lot of good stuff not that you're just getting a lot of calories
like you can do that you know if you want if that's all you can handle but like the ideally you're just eating so much
protein and so much you know so many like clean fast digesting carbs so many times per day you
know if you can split it as many meals as you can tolerate it's how many meals you should be eating
like three meals is good four meals is great five meals is better and eight meals there is there is
no diminishing returns if you can get
eight meals in a day it's amazing because you're just always grazing with eight meals i would feel
like yeah yeah yeah if you can do eight meals a day like that's amazing shit say no more fam i
can do 10 meals a day they're little meals at that point i'll never stop you and your rules
yeah you're talking about yeah at that point you're talking about eight 450 to 500 calorie meals.
And by meal six, you're not going to want seven or eight.
Everybody's like, oh, yeah, I'd love that.
Eat all them calories per day.
And it's like, yeah, you'd love to eat a lot of pizza per day and a lot of cheeseburgers per day.
But wait until it's rice and vegetables and lean beef.
I like that stuff.
I like it too, but eating
Not as much as chips and pizza.
I could do damage to a bag of
Lay's and not feel
anything as far as
fullness. And it would be what?
It would probably be 1,200
calories. If I could do anything I wanted to right
now, like marijuana
anything I wanted to right now, I would
smoke so much weed that I could barely stand. Anything I wanted to right now, I would smoke so much weed that I could barely
stand and I would start
dipping nacho Doritos
in queso and I wouldn't
stop until I fell asleep.
Then you'd wake up
and want to do it more.
When I woke up, I would take a power shit
and I would go right back to the
there's no queso in this bowl
and I'd hit the microwave up and we'd go back at it.
But you can't do that shit.
Don't do that shit.
Don't do that yourself.
You can get close to that.
You know,
you can get some,
go get yourself some,
some,
what's that?
What's that bread we use that it's got some sort of Jewish name.
The stuff we make wraps out of lavish bread.
Yeah.
Go to some lavish bread.
The key is finding
substitutes you can deal with.
Don't smoke pot, smoke crack.
Don't eat bread, eat lavish.
You'll get skinny.
You'll get skinny.
Did you ever make any of that egg white bread?
No.
It's bread just made of egg whites.
Oh my god.
You whip it up until it's like just made of egg whites oh my god you like you like you like whip it up
until it's like a meringue and then you like you bake it until it's like solid the macro is
incredible um there's a lot you can buy them at the grocery store and they're like they're called
egg wraps i think there's a lot of sodium in it which is the downside but they're like paper thin
egg wraps they're just made of egg and you can like wrap your stuff up in them.
And it's just like,
you're adding protein to your protein.
I didn't know you could make bread out of eggs.
It probably is shitty bread.
It's not,
nothing beats bread bread.
Yeah,
of course.
But you don't have to like,
go ahead.
You don't have to eat like,
I don't know what kind of like in the South it's,
I think it's called sunbeam.
That's the kind of bread that's kind of pretty common.
But there are much better macro breads.
Like just find the lowest calorie bread you can find.
But pay attention to what the serving size is, whether it's one slice or two slices because they'll fuck you over.
And pay attention to how many grams per slice you're getting.
It might be 70 grams per slice is what you're looking for off the top of my head.
I could be wrong.
But in any case, like you want like a good macro bread if you're going to eat bread.
Because I really liked whenever I was having like just cravings for something sweet, the
closest I would come to cheating on my diet was making Greg Doucette's French toast.
And shit's amazing.
You take egg whites.
I had that yesterday. French toast and shit's amazing. You take, you take egg whites with cinnamon and like Splenda sweetener and vanilla extract,
like,
and then you soak that bread in there and you grill it in a,
in a pan and you make French toast and then you put low calorie syrup on it
and you've got French toast that has amazing macros.
I still haven't tried that.
It's still a lot of calories though.
I eat a lot less calories than Kyle.
It's like 450 calories.
If you're comparing that to an egg white omelet,
it's a lot more. Oh, yeah.
450 calories for my meals.
It's like, we need to eat
another almond today. We get an extra
almond today. We get 11 almonds today, boys.
We're living high. We're stepping it up, boys.
We're getting the smokehouse almonds out. Those are the best ones because my meals are supposed to be like
especially on a uh even on a cut my meals are like four into 25 like 600 calories each i have
not accomplished raising my metabolism like you did i it's it's this trust fall and we're like
lean backwards i swear i'll catch you
i don't know every time i lean backwards i start to fall well the thing is like like you don't do
it in one big movement so like you can you can dip your toe in there with and and if and you're
like oh that didn't work out did it you can you've only gained a pound you know what i mean
yeah well one pound's hard to measure i don know. Like it's easy to measure one pound.
I'm not saying it clearly. I'm saying if you gain one pound, it's hard to distinguish between a fat
and daily variation. Uh, yeah. I mean, you know, you average over the week, you know, I, I, but,
but you know, the way I did it was like sticking to that diet plan and getting those 10 minute
walks after every meal and like triggering.
I was doing 10-minute walks after the meals because he told me to.
And I was like, all right, I get it.
I like it.
Even just from an idea of moving around would seem to aid digestion.
Exactly.
That's what it's for.
Laying down.
I liked it.
And then it became 107 degrees and humid out.
I stopped.
Yeah, that's rough. And because you end up,
the problem that I have with it sometimes is how many showers I end up taking per day
is, you know, I'll eat breakfast and okay, I can get my walk in without getting all sweaty.
Or maybe like, I haven't even taken a shower yet for, for, for the morning, but then like the
lunch, it's like, all right, now we're dripping with sweat. Cause it's 95 degrees out or whatever
another shower. And then like the meal between between that like second lunch comes around and it's time to eat
that and another shower so you end up taking four or five showers a day sometimes yeah and
i'm okay with two outfits a day but if i get into like three outfits that day like this is the third
shirt i have added to the laundry it starts to add add up. Yeah. I, you do a lot more laundry too.
I, of course I, you know, I do all my own laundry, so I don't mind too much, but, but yeah, it's the
whole thing becomes a lifestyle when you, cause that's the sort of like little things that are
annoying that people don't think of when you're doing this sort of thing. It's like, yeah, you
end up going through three or four shirts a day on some days because you have to do a 10 minute
walk after every meal in the, in the heat. So you're getting sweaty every time. Also, you're going to have to take a lot of showers, like four or five showers.
Oh, what do you mean you have a job?
Your job won't let you take four or five showers?
Oh, you just do them at night then.
They frown on that?
They frown on that?
Yeah.
Are you sleeping at night?
Well, that's where we're going to make some cuts.
You have to quit that job, bro.
Be professional about this.
All right.
PKN 365.