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Please start with PKN 371. What's up boys? Not too much. I mean, I've been seeing just like you
guys, a lot of Mormons just shirking their ultimate responsibility to God by teasing him
and treating God like he's a retard. And I know this is a real thing because when I lived in Idaho,
I would hear like adults, like Mormon adults in their mid-20s talking about it,
always in a way of like, isn't that kooky?
But it's like, you're soaking.
You're definitely soaking.
If you don't know, soaking is what Mormons do,
where they will put their erect penis into a woman's vagina,
but then they don't move.
Because if you move move it's fucking and god is god is like
he's like a dinosaur based on movement his vision and so if you just soak you're gonna be fine
and this i saw this yeah a hump jump i'd never heard of this yeah jump hump apparently you can
get a mormon friend of yours to jump on the bed while you're soaking.
And because they're providing the movement, God is still God still sleeps on that, which is as far as like circumnavigating religious rules.
This is even funnier than like Jews who will have like a Shabbos goyim.
than like jews who will have like a shabbos goyim and like because like jews aren't allowed orthodox jews like they can't use electricity or like certain things on the sabbath and so what
they'll do is they'll hire a non-jewish guy and they'll be like hey scott flip the lights on all
right now hit the button to call the elevator and they're walking on like well we didn't touch it
you know so it's like very not in the spirit of it.
But this is even worse.
Oh, yeah.
It's way, way worse than that.
It's all right.
All right.
All right.
First of all, I'm pro all of these workarounds because I'm sex positive.
Unlike you, who is clearly against sex.
Kyle, how do you feel about soaking?
I think it's super weird.
And anti-sex Kyle, clearlyyle clearly yeah i am all aboard the
um poophole loophole right that's not having sex and you're still a virgin and that was a popular
one in high school i remember no i'm on board with that one that would make sense
just just that was such a funny thing to like hear about in high school where it's like two
two of your 15 year old friends having anal sex because they hear about in high school where it's like two two of
your 15 year old friends having anal sex because they're like no it's but it's like it's all kosher
that did not happen in my high school my guidance counselor told me that 40 percent of our girls had
abortions that sounds outrageously high yeah that's not true i'm like who are all these people
getting laid i'm responsible for none of these. 40% of them have abortions.
That's an unfathomably large number.
Yeah, that's insane.
There'd just be huge piles of fetuses somewhere.
What if they assumed those abortions were normally distributed?
Because I think there was one girl who had five, right?
It doesn't matter if she has 50.
It still doesn't get her up to that percentage.
There's only so many.
There's 150 girls.
That would be a third.
After like two or three, she's got to take some responsibility, some safety, some precautions there.
Five?
Five times?
50 is one third of 150.
Oh, I thought she had five.
So one girl had five of them.
You said it didn't matter if she had 50, and I said that.
Oh, well, yeah, if she has 50.
I'm telling you that.
If she has 50, there's nothing left to scrape.
Not a reasonable amount, like five
by high school.
Yeah, she's just like,
is she really anti-condoms, I suppose?
Just a slow learner. Hang on a minute.
You know what? One period a month
times 50, she doesn't even have enough time
to have 50.
I'm processing it in my this girl
talking about periods in high school was smoking hot from the neck down but they literally people
called her dog face it was mean but oh she was dude she was a 10 from the neck down not even
that creative and a one up top i it struck me as especially brutal poor gal adding to it how true it was it was brutal
brutal and uh um anyway i think that that like high desirability and low self-esteem combo could
have led to some promiscuous behavior yeah well yeah it plus being called dog face all the time. I'm going to say it was dog face.
The anal thing makes plenty of sense
because like...
Not if you're getting around God's law.
He's like,
that's much worse!
That's what I'm...
You know I have a thing against
stodomy, right?
That's where poo comes from!
I know a girl who doesn't
like me to fuck her in the ass, and that's what she always...
She's like, that's where poo comes from!
And there's this old porno clip.
And she's right. She's absolutely right.
But it always makes me chuckle,
because there's this old, old porno clip
that I don't remember where I would see it, but
I would see it played in a joking fashion
somewhere, where it's like in the... Somebody find this if you're listening to it you get a gold star and
and no stormy clouds this month if you find this um it's like a wild west setting and um
they're in like a saloon and uh or something like that it's what it reminds me of and like the the
cowboy fella or like the old timey fella is gonna like fuck the girl and he's like oh i'm gonna put it in your ass or whatever she goes
but that's where i poo from and he and the way he says this is so funny he goes not right now
you're not man what an alpha male yeah just the way he says it is just so comical it's it's it's
a real i mean it's it's bordering on sexual assault,
but she gets into it.
It just smells porn.
No, I haven't heard of that.
It's a guy... English is not his first language.
And I think he's going ass to mouth.
And she's
looking at his dick
clearly with poo on it.
And it's like extra built up
below the head. And he's like extra built up a spoil of the head
and he's like what
like it's just smells
and it's
it's a little bit solid it's not just
smells and
he says it a couple of times it's also a porn
what a great like
attempt to shoot his shot
it's just smells
I woke up a little
queasy and that's pushing me
an inch closer to the edge of actually
needing to vomit. Now I have a goal.
How many inches are left?
Maybe six or seven.
Maybe six or seven.
I had an alka-seltzer just
before we started.
That comes from fetal cell lines.
You got nausea?
I do now.
Now that I'm imagining this man's penis rimmed with poop
and her sucking it.
There's preparation
involved in anal sex. You don't just
jump right into that. There's got to be
some...
This is that guy?
He looks like Harvey Arden's
creepy little brother. Is that the guy? He looks like Harvey A. Parton's creepy little brother.
Is that the guy?
No.
It is only smells.
It is only smells.
Call it.
I didn't know what I was saying to win.
Everything.
And my poopy dick in your mouth.
That's such a good scene.
What time do you close?
Round dart, dart.
Maybe I come back then.
Why would you come back then?
We'd be closed.
Pick an answer or I'm just going to rape you.
That scene is so goddamn intense.
All right, but back to the anal fucking.
Like, yeah, we're trying to get around God's law.
He's got to be like, oh like oh you're just this is much worse
fucking it fucking right in the pussy but if you're if you're just trying to get around like
i want to save my my virginity for like my husband this this passes what do they say passes
muster is mustard we're trying to pass Because passing the mustard doesn't even seem like a thing.
It's a passing mustard.
It's a Navy term.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, because they're mustering the Rohirrim.
They're getting everybody together.
You got to pass that.
And that makes so much more sense than passing the mustard.
Yeah.
And it's like, I just, like, because I was going to high school in that environment where, like, they would tell you all the time how, like, sex was bad.
And, like, pretty much everybody didn't listen to it.
But there was, like, a specific couple I can think of, a guy in the year above me and a girl at my age, where it would be like, are Blake and Allison fucking?
And we'd all be like, no, no, he just, like, fucks her in the ass every day after school.
No, he just fucks her in the ass every day after school.
And it's like, at the time, you didn't realize every day after school,
she was getting fucked in the ass to try and be good for God.
It just doesn't make any goddamn sense.
Isn't that rough on the butt?
It seems like it could have been every day.
I don't know. You put years lube, everything's fine.
Yeah, it's not good for you like like we'll have
we'll do some anal some anal classes later in a in a in a new segment that we're going to start
but uh but uh but yeah you you can you can get you do that every day but but
you really need lube and to go slow and there's preparation there's poop on my dick i'm not i'm
not having fun i mean you're absolutely not supposed to fuck someone in the ass every day
like that you're not supposed to you're not supposed to we're not supposed to be flying
around in goddamn airplanes every day either but we do it what a good point
we're not supposed to be riding around 60, 70 miles per hour in cars.
I used to think it would addle women's brains to go up in an airplane.
We're supposed to be riding around on dinosaurs as God intended.
All right.
Well, now we've taken two steps back instead of just one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could do it every day, but really need some preparation.
And you got to time those meals so that something's not coming through right about the time we get started.
Yeah, there's no way these two high schoolers were doing it
in the correct way as you're describing.
Yeah, it takes about 16 hours, kids, to like –
The backseat of his dad's Acura.
When you eat something between the time it's coming on out.
So you want to like avoid that period of time.
I bet that kid's dad's Acura smelled so bizarre.
Oh, my God. He's fucking her in the ass in a car? in the back of oh we need running water no no it was like maybe like
a bottle of dasani in there and no we need towels this is like giving birth i'm gonna need i'm gonna
need some clean sheets some hot some hot water like all the l Nightingale over there.
Yeah, this is like a fucking Civil War fucking midwife.
You need all the gear possible.
Oh, God.
I stuck a whole Hitachi in this chick the other night.
And I guess when she pulled it out, she tore something. And I didn't notice.
In her ass?
Her vagina. she tore something and i didn't notice but in her ass her vagina and um oh the entire hitachi
wand is is just covered in blood in there and every time i look at it i mean i just really
clean it i really should but i mean the blood's set in now so like what's another day or two
yeah i think those things are dishwasher safe it's the cordless one i mean just put it in alone
is it a domey is that what it is it might be a domey it's a cordless one i mean just put it in alone is it a domey is that what it is it might be a domey
it's a cordless one i do know that that's all i really know off the top of my head
it's got you know the three buttons and the multiple settings and such
are you like really trying to get out of there get it out of there too quick i let her do it
so nothing bad would happen and but she wanted it out of there pretty quick i guess what an idiot
oh my goodness. Gross.
Did you tell her she's no longer welcome at your home?
She's not
welcome for five days until she's all better.
She's only here for one reason.
It's going to take more than five days.
She listens to these. Good luck with that.
I hope everything's okay down there. I'm sorry,
sweetie. She listens to these?
That sounds so creepy.
Nah, my bad
she's a patron
this son of a bitch is talking shit
on my leaky pussy
it wasn't leaky it was bloody
we tore something in there
I didn't notice right away
there was just sheets and
Hitachi and me
and
now I'm an inch closer to that vomiting thing
we talked about. I messed up.
You're right on the edge. Usually you're
you can talk about anything without getting close to vomiting.
I started queasy.
I started queasy when we began.
I was already just...
Did you eat something weird?
Yeah. I had some
Indian food
late this morning that was like leftover Indian food, I think, instead of breakfast.
Starting the day off right.
Starting the day off right with a little old tikka masala.
Yeah, that's not good.
I wouldn't want Indian food in the morning.
I barely want it at night.
I'm not that blown away by Indian food.
I don't think it's that awesome.
I like spices. I like the way it smells.
I like the vindaloo.
I like that one.
Sometimes. I had a good amount of it
because I worked with the Indians for a decade or so.
It's caloric dense.
It is heavy, heavy
butter. Vindaloo is better.
I don't know vindaloo.
It's like cream-based. It's vinegar-based.
The stuff, I think it was literally called butter chicken i would have and everything was just a sauce that i
think was half butter it is and um and then of course you like pretty much grabbed this i didn't
realize non was as bad for you as it is until i started counting calories like last year i i see thin bread and
i'm like oh it's like probably lacks whatever makes bread so fattening because it's in itself
the logic checks out and uh then i entered i was i was just first starting countering my calories
and there was a meal i had regularly where we'd fill naan with like i don't know chicken lettuce
tomato stuff like that a little mayonnaise and then it was like 1100 calories or something outrageous like oh my god for the naan alone is
like 700 calories yeah it was like if there's a good and a naughty list of lunches it was on my
good list it didn't belong there we know but it's like you you can pretend it's like look everything
i'm putting on it is so colorful and it, yeah, but that's just three tortillas pressed together.
I just didn't know what naan was all about.
And then soaked in garlic butter.
Yeah, I skip the naan, and I almost always get the vindaloo.
Even the tikka masala is like tikka masala sauce.
I don't remember the exact ratios, but it's like tomato sauce mixed with heavy cream.
You eat it with a fork yeah yes if you were to be
surrounded by authentic indians they'd be like you i don't you clearly don't know how to eat
use your hands dirty dirty hands the naan is a scooping tool and you just put the bread in it
and you scoop it up and that's how you eat it. I do put it on rice.
To me, doubling up on the carbs is like...
I don't know how there's so many
thin Indian people. They must eat once a day
or something.
They didn't work with me.
I don't know.
Back to the fucking and sucking.
Even the oral sex,
God's not down with that either.
He should be.
He's missing out.
That was the go-to in high school.
Everybody had an understanding
like, oh, blowjobs?
That's like sneaking one past the goalie.
God isn't going to care about that.
It's weird to me that blowjobs in general
are considered to be a less... On the intimacy scale, it's weird to me that blowjobs in general are considered to be like a less like on the intimacy scale intimacy scale it's like a notch down a little less uh hardcore
i guess it's just somewhere between making out and sex but to me actually i feel like it's more
intimate than sex like it's a i don't know i can see that point in a way it definitely is but it's just
funny that it's like they're still in the same ballpark of intimacy and sex like if you've like
if there's a guy in high school who's been getting his christian girlfriend to blow him for
five years that is that guy really a Christ-like virgin? Really?
God's not letting him in on a technicality. No way.
Imagine you're two 17-year-olds
feeling uncomfortable around each other.
You're young. This opposite sex thing
is not something you're broadly experienced in.
And one choice is sort of like
lights off sex under the sheets.
And the other is like full exposure drop
my pants into your face the second one is to me a little more vulnerable than the first
yeah but she gets to keep her pants on in that second one she does yeah and i guess probably
in typical situations she's the hold up in the first place she's the hold up in the first place
there was she's there was never a point in high school where my dick was so small
where a girl could be like, hey, can I see your dick?
Yes, you can.
I've been waiting every day
for this.
You can.
I mean, that was a dream
in high school and middle school.
That would be so dope if I was just
approached like it was a porn.
But that's not how women i wish
we'd all had shirts that said yes you can see my penis and just wait for one girl to make the
mistake of calling her bluff do you remember the the story i told of i was like 13 years old a
freshman in high school this girl bullied me all the time yeah all right it did for the one of you
hasn't heard it at some point i said
something like you know if you keep this up it's gonna get you slapped and for the next two days
she's like slap me slap me slap me slap me i dare you you're fucking pussy you won't do it slap me
slap me and then i did okay she just recently got inducted into the ocean city high school hall of
fame for her athletic accomplishments whoa yeah and i saw And I saw it. I was like, I don't know how I
process this, but I do know I could kick her ass.
Oh, if there was some way you could add.
I kicked her ass then. I could still kick her ass today.
Put me up there on the wall. Right now,
she can't hang with me athletically no no you probably find
out where she lives if you want uh we have a lot of facebook friends in common which is how she got
into my feed but uh uh whatever i think i'm over it i wonder if she is wonder how she processes that only one way to find out
yeah you gotta reach out in the dead of night alpha her husband oh and then
instantly like before they can even say a word yeah yeah just to slay him
with a large curved blade and uh and then you go to her and start asking the questions.
Who are you?
Don't pretend.
Don't be coy, you bitch.
You know, we've both been thinking about this 24-7 for the last 20 years.
She's like, why'd you kill my husband with MS?
Why did you slap my husband to death in front of me
i don't i don't know why he was in the wheelchair i wasn't going to stop and ask
just even more reason now if you want to survive this world you're gonna have to latch on to a
high tier alpha like me so what's your choice you can live in my guest house actually you've
gained weight this has been a waste of time.
Was this all a ploy to win her over?
It could be.
I don't know.
I'm just talking. It's dark now.
Husband was crippled.
Husband was crippled.
Killed by Woody.
Now she has to make a decision.
You know what movie I was watching last night?
Or I guess I started it.
she has to make a decision you know what movie i was watching last night or i guess i started it and it was because i was looking for uh just like a suspenseful thriller kind of goofy like weird
vibe movie and i'd never seen that robin williams one hour photo before where he plays like a creepy
ghoul who for years like for the for some of the listeners out there when you wanted photos you
used to have to go to walmart or cvs and go to the one hour photo guy, you give him your film and then you get
that. And it was some guy looking at all your photos and seeing it and everything. And then
he'd give you the copies. And this guy had tracked an entire family for years and kept additional
copies of all their photos. And he's like starting to believe there's this one way relationship.
You know, when they come in to get photos, he's like, oh believe there's this one-way relationship you know when they come in to get photos he's like oh and how's little johnny doing oh and
how's uncle steve how's the puppy you know roxo or whatever and it shows him and it starts out like
like man this is fucking sad way more than it is scary and then it shows like robin williams in
his apartment and he's got whole walls of chronology of this family
with like special lighting on it so he can like just look and re-remember memories that he wasn't
there for and it got so uncomfortable that i just turned it off at no point i'm serious at no point
was it scary it was really unsettling like it would there would be scenes of him like fantasizing
where like he's sitting drinking a
beer in their house and then they all come home and they're like oh sigh i thought you were gonna
go out today and then it like shows him like eyes closed like sitting in his car in front of their
house like smiling like imagining having a human connection it is way sadder than it is spooky i
only got about halfway through but yeah that movie's two thumbs down,
not scary.
And it's uncomfortable in an unscary way.
You miss the,
like,
I haven't even seen this movie,
but I'm pretty sure the first half of it was a setup for the action scenes at
the end where he actually does bad things.
That could be thought as well.
Yeah.
I'm sure something would have happened,
but it was,
I, I, I wasn't happened, but it was I wasn't
vibing to it. I don't want to get 50
minutes into an hour and a half movie
and my still predominant thought
be like, I don't think he's a pedophile,
but I don't know yet.
He's certainly sad.
One of our photo thing was so annoying.
Having to get your film
developed. They wouldn't develop your nudes.
You could never find anybody to develop nudes for you
yeah it was lame
they looked at the photos because
like
they had to look at the photos because of quality control
and sometimes they'd be
blurry or the machine would like move it or something
and they'd rerun
you know that picture or that whole
role so there was never any
privacy there was no like you couldn't have privacy that picture or that whole role. There was never any privacy.
You couldn't have privacy.
There was some manual quality control.
If you wanted to, you could send them
some weird stuff just to fuck with the photo man.
I wonder if anyone ever did that.
They're like, we've got to take some weird
fucky photos to mess with the photo man.
Put Carl in the chair.
Tie him down. Get a knife out.
Yeah, yeah. Each photo, it's like to mess with the photo man. Put Carl in the chair. Tie him down. Get a knife out.
Each photo,
it's like a flip show of murdering someone until you get to the end.
The last picture
is a photo of the picture guy's
house.
Just a picture of him getting out of his
car drinking coffee that morning.
That's what the whole thing is, just photos tracking
the picture.
I love that.
If you're developing them
one after the other, hanging them up,
and they start appearing. That's probably
not how CVS
developments works, but
that's the only kind I've ever seen. You're in that
dark room hanging up the negatives
or whatever, hanging them up on that little mini photograph clothes line with a red light.
Yeah.
And they're just all of you,
the developer.
Is there still,
I mean,
I know we're 20 years too late for the technology on this,
but is like,
do people still take normal film photos and take them to get developed?
I haven't.
I'm sure they do.
I'm sure. Like artsy people. Yeah? I'm sure they do. Probably like artsy people.
Yeah, I'm sure they do.
I mean, I think everybody who really cares, though, has a DSLR now.
Everything's digital.
Right.
I looked up photo development, and there's like a Walmart photo center
in every Walmart in my area
yeah they also don't do nudes
what the hell that's fascism
unrelated if anyone's
out there develops
instant cam nudes from
the early 2000s hit me up
I've been holding on to this film for some time
it's gonna be just destroyed not even usable
i really want to see candy's ass again you know what you should do isn't doesn't film light on
fire and like burn super super uh the old cellulose film does yeah or celluloid yeah
oh but that's not what you would have in like the like the one where you click it over the side
certainly not no picture the polaroid or that's
not polaroid but i remember the polaroids were even before my time but i remember playing with
those and thinking they were so cool they are really cool they are neat yeah the problem is
they're short term like if you look at an old polaroid the colors are awful they didn't look awful 10 minutes after
you took it they just got worse and worse over the years and if you look at old photos and you're
like oh look at this is like a reddish orange like tint over everything yeah that picture looked
fucking outstanding 25 years ago it didn't suck it's just degrading even in that photo book as it continues to react.
Oxidize or something.
Could be.
I think if you keep them in one of those plastic things, like the photo album things, they're okay.
Definitely not.
Really?
Because my whole childhood was photographed that way, and I could tell you if you looked at it right now.
Well, your parents loved you so much they were getting them out of that plastic all the time and looking at them and just showing people that's what it was yeah that's what it was
yeah that plastic just ruins them though yeah if you take them in and out of the plastic you
run the risk of like it's like taking a sticker off the wall like it might go cleanly but it
doesn't always yeah i was looking through like some uh it only happened to one photo because i stopped
after this but my mom died i got all the stuff from her uh like all the photos and everything
and we were like looking through i was like oh that's a neat one like one of the family and i
like reach in to pull it out and it's just all the just the picture goes away like it's just like
oh that was all right well we now we know that was why did i reach for my favorite one i should have started with the one one of our like you know bottom three dogs
my mom's childhood dog i was not attached to it yeah i didn't give a shit the thing died in 1966
doesn't matter oh i don't know why polaroids uh degrade worse than regular films i'm sorry taylor
it was the polaroid thing i I was reading, just went into some
internet hole, and I was reading about
these forums for people with schizophrenia,
which are really interesting
and also heartbreaking
and sad.
One trend is they're all like,
I'm not going to hurt anybody.
Everybody thinks we're always trying to hurt
people. I'm just terrified to leave my...
It's very sad, but was like reading one thread about people with like who suffer from
delusions and you know obviously just not going to participate in anything just win but window
shopping curious and like i'd never considered this but it scared me to even think about one
person was like i keep seeing this guy i've seen him for years especially when it's dark he's a guy who
leans around the corner in a big hat and he has no eyes and he stares at me from around corners
and hallways through windows like all the time this guy's like he'll see someone he's like he
never gets any closer but i'm so sure that sometimes he's real. I know he's not always real, but sometimes he has to be right.
And people like responses are like,
I've seen the scary tall man too.
For me though,
it's a demon sitting at the bottom of my bed.
And a trick that I've found is middle of the night.
I'll open my phone and I'll hold the camera up for video.
And if it's not there,
I know that it's not real.
And they're like,
Oh,
this is a good idea. And someone else was like, I, I know that it's not real. And they're like, oh, this is a
good idea. And someone else was like, I totally get what you guys are saying. I suffer mostly
from auditory hallucinations where I'll think that people are telling me to kill myself or
whispering to me that they're going to kill my family or hurt my dog. And so what I do is I take
a recorder and I hold it to where near my ears are and then I replay it. And if I don't hear it,
I know that's made up.
And it was like,
even imagining having to do that,
like sent chills down my spine.
Like that is,
this is why horrible.
This is why if some fucked up shit was ever actually happening to you,
no one would fucking believe it because there's a mental disorder that,
that literally mimics
fucking fucked up shit happening to you so it first of all this is this like we haven't quite
there isn't like this this this thing that just happens that would that totally explains like
people see in bigfoot or whatever like like stick with me here stick with me here like like there's
not there's not a whole group of people out there who are like, yeah, I don't know.
Like, Sasquatch just comes to me at night.
Like, he comes and takes my beef jerky away and runs off into the night.
Like, yeah, I hear Sasquatch, too.
But there's a lot of people who are like, yeah, I see demons and I see, like, dark figures in my home and they tell me to hurt myself and kill people.
This is literally what like
like exorcism type possession sounds like like whenever you go back to those quote-unquote
documented cases like and again i don't believe in bigfoot i think bigfoot's nonsensical it is
somewhat interesting that there used to be a creature like 10 000 years ago that
essentially was a bigfoot that that actually existed that is an interesting little factoid
however i don't think there are any Bigfoot,
and I don't think there have been any Bigfoot for quite a long time.
I don't think any modern people have ever seen a Bigfoot or heard a Bigfoot.
I think there's a lot of yahoos out there dressing up as Bigfoot.
But demons, on the other hand, there are so many witnesses that it could be true.
Well, the thing about demons is that there's literally a medical disorder
which causes you to see demons.
There's a medical disorder that causes you to see demons. There's a medical disorder that causes people to see demons.
I'm more afraid of schizophrenia now than demons.
Oh, yeah.
It would be like being assaulted by demons.
You changed course midway through this.
I feel like you were headed towards there's a whole lot of evidence for demons.
No.
That's never where you were headed. there's a whole lot of evidence for demons. No! What I was going for was that
if you ever were actually
haunted by demons,
no one would believe you.
I would not.
Because there is schizophrenia.
I could come to you guys in private
and be like, look, I don't want to talk to this public.
There's a tall man in my house.
It's you, Kyle.
You're cut.
That's called a mirror, Kyle.
He's fucking ripped.
I'm afraid he's going to beat the shit out of me.
Is he jacked?
Is your tall man jacked?
He just keeps getting bigger and bigger every month.
Fucking yoked white guy.
He just got a haircut too.
He's wearing my clothes.
He's mocking me.
You guys would be like,
oh man, so Kyle's really sick, huh?
Who do we tell about this?
Do we tell Kitty?
She must know. She must know about this.
Who do we tell?
Do you know his dad? No, I don't know his dad.
And I mean,
something fucked up about that, too, is
if you... Not well enough to call him up and be like,
hey, Lamar, Kyle has schizophrenia.
What?
Who the hell is this?
Are you the one that flies or the one with the
big head?
I just got a text from him. It says he's hanging out with
some tall friend of his
oh that would be the best if i sent you guys a selfie and and the demon was behind me i'm like
tell me you don't see him tell me you don't see him we just we just gaslight you he's not there
what are you talking about it's a man in a mask we may have just written a horror movie here let's
let's get on this this
is a blumhouse film if i've ever heard one dude the in the weird like what sucks about
having schizophrenia and like seeing demons like that is like to you that is as real as if a real
demon was fucking with you yeah you know like that to them is 100 real because you can read
some of these delusions and stories and to someone who them is 100 real because you can read some of these
delusions and stories and to someone who doesn't suffer from that you can be like okay well they
need to take a step back and think about this and that but like often that's not even the only
delusion it'll be like i have people gang stalking me and recording my conversations and this
operative is is summoning demons in my backyard and he's letting them in the
house in the middle of the night and it's like yeah to that person zero percent of them is
thinking that they are exaggerating you know what i mean like to them they are telling the truth
which is fucking scary woody you've never really lived like alone alone have you or was there a
period of time where you were out of your parents house and not quite yet with jackie there was how long was that period like a couple
years maybe yeah between two and four yeah okay two or three did you ever and obviously taylor's
lived on his own look we don't believe in monsters because we're we're rational adult human beings
and in a modern world but did did you ever get scared living alone?
That something was in your mind starts racing a little bit?
Maybe not immediately to ghouls and goblins,
but to the unknown that you heard down the hallway or the cricketers.
Cricketers and banditos.
So it actually wasn't when I lived alone.
When I lived alone, I lived in apartment complexes.
So there was supposed to be noises,
right? Neighbors thump this and that. Nothing's nothing shouldn't be there. But when Jackie and
I moved to North Carolina, like part of the deal was she gets to call and visit her family a lot.
So she would go home for three weeks and leave me in our house but alone you know and
she'd even take the dogs like there's not supposed to be any noises so if a spoon falls in the
kitchen what the fuck why i haven't been in the oh my goodness you know like i'm grabbing the gun
at this point because it's the unexplained noises that make me think that
something is not right something's going on this is like i it's not an unexplained noise but when
i was living in the city and my now wife would like come and stay with me for a couple days at
a time she would wake up because she would hear like the pop pop pop pop pop and like like driving
away or something like did you hear that and i'm like just just go back to
bed yeah it's your gunshots yeah yeah yeah yeah we owed your gunshots reasonably often you'll
have to worry if you hear the impacts yeah no this is a pretty thick brick we'll be fine
but i but i speaking of like supernatural things there would be times where like you get in your own head and like you're just walking through your kitchen or something and you're like, oh, that was like a really cold spot in the kitchen.
Oh, that gave me a little shiver.
That's that's spooky.
Like, you know, in your mind, there's nothing there.
There's no reason to fret.
But there is like kind of a visceral like that's an unpleasant.
So I've lived alone for longer than either of you.
Long periods of time all by myself.
And I can get, you know,
I used to spend a lot of time high to real high.
And if you know this, does it make you paranoid?
Never. It really doesn't make me paranoid.
It honestly doesn't, but you are in an altered state, right?
And I would get afraid of mirrors because like the, and I would be afraid to look out of windows
because in my head, I know that the most terrifying thing possible would be if I looked
out that window and something was there. to me that would be so un because because
because like i don't know why like but but like like even growing up my window faced this like
woody little ravine area and i remember being like afraid to like look at it too hard because i might
see something like like just don't look if something's out there it can't do anything to
you if you ever see something out there and you might it could be a deer's ass like like
just about to go through like something you know maybe the just the deer's ass like that part of it
is like showing because it's going behind a bush but if you saw that it would look a little furry
gnome or something hopping around or or it could be coyotes or there's wildlife out there or whatever
and it's yeah and have you have you seen the movie poltergeist of course yeah
okay so early on in the move the first poltergeist there's a tree outside the little girl's window
and the way that it moves with the wind and the shadow it casts maybe via lightning yeah it's
super scary and i was never scared of the tree outside my window until after i saw that movie now i feel
like i have a possessed demon tree that's after me as well yeah and so that happened but it didn't
like brush my window like it did in the movies it just existed nearby yeah um but but yeah i
like not that long ago i was like you know too afraid to look out the window.
Every now and then, I'll scare myself enough that I can't look in the mirror when I go to the bathroom to piss.
Because I'm afraid I'm going to see something in the mirror.
I'm afraid there's going to be something in the mirror.
I know there's nothing in the mirror.
No, there's going to be something in the mirror. You.
Something other than me. So you would never stand in front of a medicine cabinet partially open and close it?
And then do that reveal
they do in horror movies? No.
First of all, I've never had a medicine...
Not since my lake house have I had
one of those old-timey medicine cabinets.
All my other places have had
the big piece of glass that's just
on the wall.
I think that's what most modern bathrooms are like.
But in any case, yeah, I can get my own head and freak myself out pretty good, especially if I've been watching like creepy shit on the Internet and scary stuff.
That Mr. Ballin guy will creep me the fuck out some nights.
That's the YouTube channel that the guy is an ex Navy SEAL.
I talked about recently to watch some of that stuff.
So many creepy, creepy, creepy stories.
I love parents. You know, to watch some of that stuff. So many creepy, creepy, creepy stories. I love creepy stuff.
Just unexplainable disappearances.
And he tells the story well.
He tells the story like you're around a goddamn campfire
with a bunch of Cub Scouts or something.
And everything was going fine.
She went to work that morning.
Her co-worker said she was doing well.
The mailman handed her a package at 3 p.m.
Her mother called her at 5 p.m., but at 6 p.m., if you look at the surveillance tape, she's not home and her car's gone.
Where did her car go?
The car was broken down.
The neighbors all confirmed that the car didn't even have a transmission in it.
So where did the car go? And where did Stacy go?
Well, they found Stacy's legs in Washington State,
4,000 miles away a week later.
How did they know?
And you're just like, wait, what the fuck?
There was one guy that was literally kind of like that.
This guy went missing in Texas.
And two days later, he was like stumbling down a highway in Washington State, you know, like 1800 miles away and was and fell over dead or something like that.
He got MKUltra.
There was like no reason for him to isn't a family man.
Like it's like wife comes home.
Husband should be there.
Also home from work.
He's not there.
His like wedding ring and phone and wallet are sitting together on the kitchen table.
They find him like a couple of later dead in washington state and it was like interesting stories i like things bizarre disappearances like that you know like where where if he just
completely disappeared that would have been mysterious enough but the fact that they like
he turned up and he was oh and he was in weird clothing.
He wasn't in his own clothing.
He may have been in a military uniform or something.
I don't remember the specifics, but it was so bizarre.
It was so bizarre.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's getting experimented on or something.
Right?
Yeah.
The aliens.
The aliens or the CIA.
One of those alphabet agencies giving him a bunch of acid.
See what he does. Or whatever drug they're on to now who knows experiment on me like that sounds like
a good time we're gonna see what happens when we put you on you know what's like a comfortable
level of weed you're like all right we can give you 80 milligrams like that i love that
that uh that scene from pineapple express where they've got something header. Bill Hader?
Bill Hader, yeah. They've got him
in that sealed room
with the smoke in the joint.
They send the guy in in the old
timey diving suit where he's got
the swinging face mask to
light him up. He's like, whoa!
What are you?
Then they
make it illegal. I've been like wanting to read i haven't watched those
videos you're talking about but i've been like trying to find like basically the equivalent of
creepypasta and paranormal stories and unfortunately like i just need to jump to this guy's videos
instead of reading them because like you'll get five paragraphs into like a really cool story and like paranormal story and it'll be like
this this writing is so bad you're ruining it for me like and another thing and also plus this and
it's like even if this was cool you've lost me now so this guy seems like he's a good story
storyteller he's very good and uh if you want something that's its own fucking branch of weirdness, it's the
SCP Foundation that I talked about months
ago, Secure, Contain, Protect.
It's its own thing about
a hidden government agency and
ghouls and goblins and monsters of all
shapes and sizes and
in-depth animated stories
on some of the YouTube channels
of the
weird, crowdfunded like nonsensical
monster stories.
It's funny.
You were mentioning like, you know, if I took a bunch of weed, I wouldn't want to look out
the window.
It's like the opposite of someone who's like drunk in that scenario.
Just be like, if you're out there, come and get it.
Yeah.
Like just daring the demons to come yeah
are you watching are you still reading the stormlight archives taylor i'm still taking a
break but i i literally took it off my uh my bookshelf yesterday and i'm gonna i'll jump back
in it sucks and that's why you took a break i like it i think you're not even reading it do you quit
on it like me we're in the same boat i'll read it have a different
name for anybody out there want to read something that doesn't suck i'm reading the uh it doesn't
suck it's a good story it was written i know it doesn't suck it's called it's called the the uh
the tales of the earth war in the alien universe it's very tales of the earth war something like
that yeah i've been going through those yeah it's like comics about alien outbreak on Earth.
Like the xenomorphs from the alien movies.
But they completely
rewrite the alien movies after
Alien 2. Basically
getting rid of the shitty ones and writing a new
story. It's pretty good. Really dark
shit. Really interesting, hard
sci-fi. I've been reading the
Invincible comic a little bit because I want
to know what happens next.
Oh,
I don't.
Oh,
you don't care or you don't want,
I don't want to know what happens.
He wants to see it in video form.
Yeah.
Whereas I'm more like,
all right,
I can't wait for the video.
I want to know what happens in this thing.
This is not a spoiler,
but invincible is finished.
So assuming they follow the source material, there is an end that I haven't gotten to yet.
And one of the things I've like, I tried to sort of start the comics where the show left off, but they did the show.
Like they really combined a lot of things and told the story in a different order.
And I'm of the opinion that the show's not wrong.
It's just different,
but it does make it hard to be like,
you know,
pick it up at episode 27 and you're set.
Some of it is new material to me.
And some of it is like,
I know what happens.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They combined like different stories that didn't really matter.
Chronologically to make a better season of an animated show.
Makes sense.
I wish I cared more
about One Punch Man, but apparently
the Japs are just terrible animators
and that's never happening.
I don't know who...
Netflix is going to have another season of this show out next year.
I guarantee it.
Whatever it costs.
It's not Netflix. It's Amazon.
Yeah, but the idea
still holds.
Yeah, and even more
wealthy corporation.
I can't
spell invincible.
I was so
off. I started with an L.
What the fuck?
I don't know how I did that.
You're never getting there.
Yeah.
Dead on arrival
the strings were made
I'm scanning
when will it air
first half of 2022
is all they've told us
brilliant
it's less than a year
they're always delaying or almost exactly a year yeah
maybe but they're promising like a one-year turnaround for the show they're not saying like
we do not know like they're not going rick and morty season three style is that where the gap
like that yeah like with animation takes forever to do but like jesus just hire like you're if you're if
you're amazon and you've got a hit on your hands just like how much money do we need to throw at
this i wonder um can you do that so okay it's some problems you know you can't just hire nine women
to make a baby in one month right it? It's like... Oh, good one.
It's a software development cliche.
So if... It's a little something I made up.
You should have taken credit for that.
That was good.
Oh, yeah.
When I was doing software dev, we all slung that one around.
Yeah, it's a Woody-ism.
So I wonder how art is.
Can you hire different artists and they can
mirror this style and do it appropriately?
Or do you have to have the same core
like five guys do it all and you
can't speed it up? I don't know.
I don't know.
I do want the art style to stay
the same. In that one, I do.
In Marvel What If, we agreed
that it'd be neat if the art style changed
up. Like, help me with the Love
Robot one. Love Death Robots.
Love Death Robot. The art style
was different in every one, and I felt like that
added to it. Marvel's What If?
It would have added to that as well.
Invincible? Subtract.
100%. 100%. Some of the Love Death Robots
animation was so janky
and shitty that i couldn't watch
those clips it was me that you watched season two first did you see season one i went back
yeah i went back and watched it it was better it was definitely better than than season uh two
but there was still even i think it was season one there was one where it's like these three
like that one of the guys is like biologically amped up somehow and his brother isn't that's
season two then they got jumbled but that was it was the art style on that one i'm remembering
specifically yeah that's the worst it's unwatchable yeah it's it's very odd it's too
like do people have like long chins yeah it's it's very abstract. Yeah. Yeah. What was season one?
It was distracting for me as well.
And by the way, the athleticism of the characters was paramount in the storytelling.
But the characters barely had it.
They had a human form, but it wasn't a recognizable one.
There's no one on Earth that looks like that.
Their shoulders were so broad.
Their waist was so narrow. He-Man
looked like a fucking pansy compared
to the V these athletic
specimens had. And it's like,
I'm not even getting a vibe for
their human equivalents.
It was far too abstract.
The farmer one was good. I'll give it that.
I liked that.
Except all that did was like
it's like they had two hours
of premise to burn through and so like when it ended i'm like oh man i kind of wanted to like
learn the backstory here what what you know happened that led to the necessity of oh i got
i got something great can i i want to add to what taylor said that farm one i wish i remembered the name of the
episode was the climax to a two-hour movie but they didn't give you the rest of the movie yeah
gave you the big and so you're watching it you're like i don't know if i deserve this yet like i
need to know the build up yeah why are these people like so attached to each other and
honorable and self-sacrificing and brave and
we just accept that they are.
Yeah, they've got nicknames for each other. I'm sure
they had good scenes that could have happened
before.
You can't even rip on the show
really. Anything that's structured like a
vignette, even like sketch comedy shows,
whatever, it's going to be hit or miss.
So there's something
that's kind of like Love, Death, Robots.
Neil Blomkamp does this thing on YouTube,
and I think maybe Netflix has picked it up now, called Oats Studios.
The YouTube channel is called Oats Studios.
And again, they may have like started putting it on Netflix.
I just did a quick Google to remember the name of it.
But he does like, I think what he's doing is he's doing like proofs of
concept for various special effects and um and story ideas but he does like these weird sci-fi
shorts with like you're like holy that's sigourney weaver he's like yeah i thought i'd jump in one of
these they're 20 minutes long why not and like another one had like um that young uh female actress um i can't think of her name it doesn't matter but um
they'll occasionally they're just like you know the actors and actresses they're in these little
shorts and um it's like wild sci-fi horror and and stuff one of them is like these like
aliens have taken over earth the aliens look
like super evolved crocodiles that are bipedal like they have like these ridiculous like giant
crocodile faces that's cool and they like uh they've enslaved all of humanity with like these
mind control collars and like the resistance is like has some sort of a thing that counteracts
the collars or something like that and And it's hyper-violent with these crazy weapons and stuff.
And what's it called?
Oats Studios is the YouTube channel.
I mean, we're just not equipped to take on other animals that become bipedal.
Bipedal crocs, bipedal lions.
There would be no resistance.
We'd get fucked.
If we're on equal technological grounds
with a bipedal crocodile race,
we're done.
They're stronger than us.
They got built-in armor.
I'll fuck a crocodile up.
Stand behind me, Taylor.
You're okay.
Do you know how easy it is to have supply lines
for the cold-blooded army?
All right, once a week, we have our food show up,
and other than that, we're fired up.
We're good to go.
All I need is a big bag of...
They don't have the proper fingers to
operate machinery. Their arms are
like this. They don't tip.
Okay, the fingers are a good point.
But I'm sure
they figured a workaround
for the fingers.
Okay, in a world where they also develop fingers
it works out. Oh man, you're giving these...
You're basically saying we're going against get a set of people at this point.
You proved me wrong, and so I had to readapt myself.
Hang on, I got a picture.
That's what I meant the whole time.
I'm going to show you what this fucker looks like,
and you tell me if...
Maybe it's not even going to be intimidating.
It's going to be a little like one of those little crocs.
No, it's fucking terrifying.
The caiman. It's going to be a real goddamn problem to deal with
I'm sure
for you
I mean maybe if you get some of those really strong rubber bands to put over his snout
the biggest downside
I love that idea
cause like you couldn't rubber band
watch them like try to get us in return
and they rubber band Taylor's jaw
you'd be like dude Watch them try to get us in return and they rubber band Taylor's jaw.
Gah!
You'd be like, dude,
this is my morning stretching routine.
What am I looking at?
Is that from Justice League or something?
No, this is the Oats Studio thing.
This is from an episode of that.
I thought it was the one with
fucking Harley Quinn
and the bad guys together. Suicide Squad? Yeah, I thought it was the one with fucking Harley Quinn.
Oh, no.
Suicide Squad?
Yeah.
I thought it was Suicide Squad.
Is this guy infected by something?
Is that just the way it looks? You know, I haven't seen this in a couple years,
but just looking at it,
my guess is that's some sort of biomechanical armor he's wearing
that's maybe some sort of goo that he wears for armor
that absorbs impacts, and he can just flow off of him when he wants to wants it too
yeah look at his arms he's got normal like human forearms these guys there's an actor in there i'm
sure well that's actually i'm not sure that could be cgi i mean there's a lot of cgi going on there
but anyway it's a little interesting hard sci-fi stories another one has some sort of monster that's like a bunch of people melted together,
like rolling around and screaming and like trying to absorb more people into its biomass.
That one was fucking creepy.
Have you seen that movie?
Just the way that thing looked, it reminded me of the movie Splinter,
where it's all the people.
It's a horror movie.
They get chased into a gas station and there's like some bio thing outside
that'll take over your body and like devour it it's all it takes is a little little splinter of
it to get in your body and it starts taking over and propagating and you've seen that i feel like
yeah i have a big movie in like 2008 so i watched so many um like like youtube channels that do like
reviews of like every horror movie so i've seen images images of it and like, like in their thumbnail,
but I haven't actually watched it,
watch the movie or watch itself.
Let me tell you what I watched last night.
I was going to say this for PK,
but we got about six or eight more minutes left here.
And you can watch this tonight.
If you,
if you stay up late after we do the hangouts,
um,
by the way,
yeah.
Um,
Willie's wonderland.
Willie's wonderland is not a good movie.
Okay.
It is a fun movie though.
It is a silly movie.
Wait,
I may,
I may have seen this.
It's Nicholas Cage.
I'm out.
Oh,
I'm in.
I'm definitely in.
I,
Oh yes.
Yes.
I've seen this where he fights all of the animatronics,
like in the ripoff. And he never says a word. I thought, okay, I've seen this, where he fights all of the bad guy animatronics like in the rip-off Chuck E. Cheese.
And he never says a word.
I thought, okay, I enjoyed this movie.
I enjoyed it as well.
I thought it was good.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
Again, it's a bad movie.
He doesn't say a word.
And when I, I mean, he literally doesn't say a word.
Like at one point he grunts a little and that's it.
And it's very weird
because and i'm told it's a ripoff of something called of a game or something called five nights
at freddy's or something like that which also has animatronics or something like that yeah um but i
don't i don't know anything about that all i know is that watching nicholas cage beat up animatronics with like a mop was the highlight
of my evening a couple nights ago and i know like like it it like makes fun of itself a lot so it's
not like it tried to be super serious and it missed the mark like it knows it's making a campy
movie that's what i took from it there were a couple times where they tried to make the scenes
really badass but i felt like it was almost like joking about how he's fighting chucky cheese
effectively i think they were trying to like because this is the production of this started
right after mandy came out i think they were trying to make their own version of mandy because
like there's lots of like stuff with the color there's lots of uh like lens flares that didn't make any sense nicholas cage like doesn't say a word it's almost like like like like um he's just like
unexplained unexplained character like where he's from what he's about like like how he got these
combat skills um i i have very little backstory yeah i mean like this is spoiler alert i know
what he's not going to watch it so he doesn't care but uh so like what i thought was funny about it is basically like this whole town is trying to
feed these animatronic beings at this abandoned chucky cheese so that they don't go out and like
hunt the members of this little you know podunk town and kill them and so they're always leading
people they are telling them hey you need to clean up this establishment they go in there to clean it and they never come out because
they get killed and like the like a federal agent and like a lot all the local pd and everybody's
like these things are unkillable they're absolutely unstoppable they're demons they can't be defeated
and like nick cage is dispatching them like one,
every six to eight minutes throughout the entire movie.
And so like,
it just like throws sand in the eyes of the whole premise where it's like,
these things are unstoppable unless you have a vagabond with a broken broom in
there.
Yeah.
Lux out.
And I think that like a better,
like director would have pumped up how badass that nicholas
cage must be to be able to accomplish these to have a point of comparison to still make the
monster seem spooky yeah you almost needed like somebody who was actually like some other bat
like this is what star trek did this i don't know why i'm wharf on star trek the klingon guy
his entire purpose was to educate you
about the power level of the enemy.
Because Worf's the toughest guy on the ship.
You know that going in.
So anything that bitch slaps Worf,
you're already like, whoa.
Dude, bitch slap Worf.
Fucking threw him across the room.
Riker better stay back.
Fucking Lieutenant O'Brien,
don't touch him, Lieutenant O'brien he'll kill you
picard what are you gonna do philosophize to him he's a fucking tar monster leave him alone picard
because he just slapped warf you've got this power level established they need to do that every so
often they just kick the shit out of poor warf to demonstrate to the audience that there's a
montage there's a montage on youtube that's hilarious it's it's and i don't remember what it's called it's like if you just search wharf gets his ass
kicked on youtube you'll find it and it's just every time it's ever happened and sometimes it
there's like there's like women and men and old men who get possessed every now and then star
trek so like like it'll be like a big giant monster i'll punch wharf and you're like all
right well i mean that thing was big or it'll be like a cliff falls monster. I'll punch Worf. He'll be like, all right, that thing was big. Or it'll be like a cliff falls on Worf.
He'll be like, oh, well, he survived it.
And then all of a sudden it's an old lady.
She's like, fuck you, Worf.
And she bitch slaps Worf.
And he flies across the room.
It's literally a grandpa at one point.
Bitch slaps Worf across the room.
Worf is there to establish the power level of the enemy of the week.
Worf always gets beaten up by everyone on Star Trek The Next Generation compilation.
Yeah.
The first clip was him getting beat up by someone else of his race.
And then he's just getting beat up by the robot character who looks like a human.
Who apparently is even tougher than Worf.
Well, he somehow doesn't know Klingon or Data.
Yeah, he really doesn't.
I've never seen an episode of Star Trek in my life.
That's funny.
It's upsetting.
It's upsetting for me.
That's child abuse.
This would be like if I still hadn't watched Lord of the Rings
despite you doing voices and shit for years.
At some point, it's a personal insult.
At some point, it's a personal insult
to not watch all of the Star Treks.
Or one of them.
Or an episode.
Pick one.
I saw the movie.
I saw the movie where the guy is on the phone in the beginning going, name him Steven or whatever.
If you're going to watch one episode, you need to watch Star Trek The Next Generation.
You need to watch the two-parter that's at the end of season three, I think.
It's season three, episode whatever, 26.
And then the next part is season four, episode one, I think.
That's the one where –
When Q kicks them out to meet the Borg.
It is.
Yeah.
It's a good pick.
One of the best episodes.
Season three finale, season four premiere.
Yeah.
And I don't think it is the best episode.
To me, that's the inner light. That's when Picard
gets put into that other man's body and lives
an entire lifetime, comes back playing the flute.
That's a sweet episode.
But to the uninitiated who wants kind of more
of an action thing that tells a big
piece and chunk of Star Trek lore,
that's the one for me.
Q is an
all-powerful being from
a different race, and he's basically a god there there are no
limits to what he can do and it's just important that you know that because he puts the enterprise
in a precarious situation if you want to know like just how strong is he all the way strong
there's nothing that he doesn't know yeah he literally snaps his fingers and things happen like he's having this
sort of argument with picard and picard's like why won't you just leave us alone we don't need
you we don't want you here and he's there to be entertained he's sort of like a trickster god
and he's just like oh you don't need me no we don't we can handle anything out here on our own
he's like and picard's a smart guy so he should have been like i think i
think he's fucking with me he should have been like well there are a few things we can't handle
you know man onward and upward he should have said that or something but instead he's like anything
we can handle anything and he was like well we'll just see what you can handle and he like snaps his
fingers and the enterprise is hurtled to the other side of the galaxy and they encounter the
Borg, which are the big bads
of all of Star Trek.
They can't be reasoned with.
They can't be negotiated with.
They are here for...
You're telling them all about the Borg.
He needs to be introduced by the show to the Borg.
Or need to be introduced organically to the Borg.
I'm ready for some
really good acting
oh
well shit
dude I know it's time to wrap
and we don't have much time before the hangouts
but Norman Reedus
at the start of Walking Dead
he is a 1 out of 10
and he improves to be a good 4
or 5 out of 10
by the 11th year his every scene he's in but
especially or i promise just re-watch a little of it and see his like overacted temper tantrums
i have done like probably everyone on earth the smallest amount of acting. And when you are thinking to yourself, is anyone buying this as you deliver your lines?
It shows you vibe that lack of confidence,
like you're saying and doing the motions,
but somehow it's hollow.
That is what acting for years.
Um,
he is best used in like little spurts.
Like I'll tell you when he was,
when he's good.
I just watched a Walking Dead clip.
It got recommended to me.
And it's when we first meet some of Negan's soldiers.
They're the bikers.
They've got the tanker stopped, and we've got Big Ginger Guy.
We've got the black chick who always looks afraid.
And we've got Norman Reedus.
And they get out of the thing.
The bikers disarm them.
One of them takes Norman Reedus to the back of the truck to do a little search of the inventory
to see if there's any more goodies to be taken. And the negotiationsan reedus to the back of the truck do a little search of the inventory see if there's any more goodies to be to be taken and the negotiations aren't
going well at the front of the truck like this guy is just basically about to kill both of them
for no reason no good reason at all really just because they like asked questions he told them
the first he's like first thing i told you was no questions and here you are asking questions
so they wanted to take everything that they had
and they had a um like i don't know my military trucks but picture a big military truck maybe with
a covered wagon type back filled with cool supplies so it was like a really bad day to
take all their shit i think it was a fuel truck even like it was oh yeah real problem and like
and so like norman reedus goes to the back and the negotiations are going sour
at the front of the truck and uh and the guy's like you know what i'm not gonna kill you and
like lowers the guns and he just goes yeah i am and he like pulls them up again and then all of
the bad guys and i mean like nine of them who are all like sitting on their parlays just like
relaxed explode they just all explode and i and like chunks of meat
and shit and harley go everywhere and there's a cloud and and the big ginger guy and the black
chick are like knocked back they're like oh the fuck was that and norman rita steps forward with
with an rpg and he just goes assholes that's what he's that's what he killed that scene i know
perfectly he has two lines in that entire scene like like like everyone like the bad guy on the assholes. That's when he's a good actor. I know that scene perfectly.
He has two lines in that entire scene.
Like the bad guy on the motorcycle,
he's a great actor.
He's out there.
He's being scary and a little bit fun.
You're like,
ha, this guy,
I almost like him.
I could learn to like him,
but he's the bad guy.
But Norman Reedus literally says two things,
assholes. And then they walk back to the other guy that he had killed hand to hand to get the RPG. And he's the bad guy. But Norman Reedus literally says two things. Assholes! And then they walk back to the other guy that he had killed hand-to-hand to get the RPG.
And he's like, he was tougher than he looked.
That's all he says.
And you're like, that's all he should say.
That's all he should say.
Yeah, they did that well.
He's a little better now.
But even now, most of his scenes...
So the character he plays is more the silent listening type
and i think that's uh work around to his acting skills you know he was the guy in boondock saints
right holy smokes i never put that together i need to watch boondock saints again and see if
it changes my opinion yeah he's one of the brothers yeah because i i know someone
who was friends with the director of that film and uh the maker like the guy who wrote it and did
you know brought it into real world that guy had no other films it was like the first thing he did
and i watched the director's commentary i know we're out of time i'll be quick um the whole
director's commentary you could tell the guy who ran the show barely ran that show.
He's like, yeah, for this scene right here.
I just told the video guys to do whatever they felt like was right.
And this scene, who's the ugly guy cross-dresser in Boondock Saints?
The actor, William Dafoe.
He's like, this wasn't in the script at all.
William Dafoe just thought he should put on lipstick and shit.
I don't know why, but we went with it.
And the director's commentary, you could just tell how not in control he was,
but he hired lots of good people.
And it was a great movie that only did okay
because it happened right around Columbine.
And the sequel was a real late follow-up.
And it didn't do as well.
It wasn't as big a deal.
People didn't like it as much.
I thought it was okay.
And I don't think he's done any other films.
Yeah, I don't think so either.
It was the end of his career.
Norman Reedus has a bar down here,
like not far away.
He's in there occasionally.
I had an ex-girlfriend who like,
they ran into him one night,
got their picture with him.
We were all Walking Dead fans.
They said he was hitting on him.
I wonder what he's like 25 years older.
He has another show coming on.
It's about motorcycles.
I guess he's actually I thought he wasn't a motorcycle guy because I don't know.
You know, like you're good at throwing shit, right?
So you could probably watch someone throw something one time and be like, he never played baseball.
That's how I felt.
That's how I felt about him on a
motorcycle i'm like oh look at him he's always dragging his feet on the ground he's like
everything about it was but i guess he's really into motorcycles and he's doing a show about it
i was wrong yeah maybe that's a silly prop bike they got him riding it's hard to ride
that actually makes a lot of sense i know batman's. It's hard to ride. That actually makes a lot of sense. I know
Batman's motorcycle is really hard to ride.
Oh, I bet. Yeah, that thing looks silly.
Well, we should stop. I've dragged this
on too long and you guys barely have time to
eat before the next... I'm not eating anything.
I'm going to get another Alka-Seltzer in me.
You're going to vomit up the Indian food.
PKN 370.