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pka 374 how are you kyle i'm good man i'm good i'm good i love it kyle when you get risque right
before the start just yeah yeah i knew that would put a little smile on your face that's that's a
little uh little method acting thing i've been i've been working on for us here at pka we're
always trying to to rise above i saw this thing where uh there's a scene in uh sopranos where
um bobby bockley area or whatever is trying to make Tony Soprano laugh.
And so the actor walked into the room with a big dildo in his hand, like in front of his crotch.
And because Gandolfini is supposed to look at him and laugh because he's wearing a silly shirt.
And you really get like a genuine laugh out of Gandolfini because he's just like, you got a dick.
But a good acting trick but yeah i um i did not feel well after the show the other night i can't
put my finger exactly on why it was probably the the gram of weed i think it was the gram of of of
thc um it was seven grams of weed. Oh, my God.
Did you ever look up at the top left to see the recording time?
And what was the time you saw when you're like, oh, no, this is inescapable?
There was about an hour and 20 minutes left, and I felt so bad. Because I had finished the cupcakes off like 40 minutes prior to that point, like roughly.
I just felt so bad and I was feeling nauseous.
And I was thinking that I should throw up
because then maybe I won't be as high.
But I was also thinking like, I don't know,
like I'm afraid to walk to the bathroom right now
because I'm so high.
So I just like sat there and uh and stuck it out
um one of our beloved uh 50 patrons told me that she lost some sort of a a very interesting prop
bet where since i didn't vomit she will be in our hangout this week um not topless unfortunately but
but shirtless bottom shirtless no sure oh so just being a bra yeah yeah which i didn't think was
that hardcore personally right wait who is this is this somebody i know no she's new um i don't
know i was talking to her earlier but uh but yeah i don't know when i sobered up i do know that
so color i'm gonna do everything in colorado time um i think we finished the show at about 9
p.m i had to be at the airport at 4 a.m so you got seven hours to recoup but well but you know
it's an hour drive according to my uh according to my phone
turned out it was only but 30 minutes but the driver was like is it okay if i just run a few
errands and i was just like i was so high i agree what a bizarre driver she's like i need to gas up
and uh i need to you know i'm gonna stop by that she stopped by the dollar general or something
like that and you're just so high in the back of the car.
Are you in the parking lot by yourself in the back of an Uber?
And it's like when you got a kid in the car,
she's like,
you want anything?
And I'm just like,
no,
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm just,
I'm just so high right now.
I hope you eventually get me to the airport.
But yeah,
when I walked out the door to go to the airport at,
I believe 3am,
like something like that,
3 or 4am,
somewhere in there.
The guys were seeing me off.
We were all outside.
I smoked cigarettes when I'm on vacation.
I smoked my final cigarette up the vacation.
I was out there.
I just remember looking at the guys and just being like,
I'm so fucking high right now.
They're like, you got this. You got this. I'm like like you got this you got this i'm like give me my drink they're like give me my drink i'm like finish the cigarette and throw
it on the ground like all right goodbye and then i staggered i staggered to that fucking car and
so began my morning and it felt like a day's travel just getting to the airport through security and everything.
Like every step of the way, there's this dumbfounded, stoned brain moment where it's like, travel documents.
I need travel documents.
Well, I got my boarding pass.
What's that other thing?
All right.
Everybody else has their license out.
I'm going to do that.
Yeah. I got my boarding pass. What's that other thing? Everybody else has their license out. I'm going to do that. I'm really leaning on
looking around and seeing what everybody else is doing.
Like a child or something like that.
I'm like, is this one of the ones where they take the shoes off?
Or no? Shoes off?
Yeah, shoes off.
Meanwhile, you are looking
probably sweaty. Like you died
and someone reanimated you with a spell.
Yeah.
I don't know man i it was
one of the scarier um things i've ever done thankfully it went really smoothly um and uh
and once i got on the aircraft um i flew back first class um again and uh i because i couldn't
have dealt with like the stress of being like crammed up with two other people and not having
a tv and not having like a charcuterie board.
That was the option for my meal was this cool cheese board with dried salami and stuff.
Nice.
But when I landed in Atlanta at, it would have been, I don't know, like 9 a.m., 10 a.m., Atlanta time.
I'm still high.
I'm still high.
It's been over 12 hours.
It's been 12 hours now.
Are you still uncomfortably high at that point,
or have you faded out a bit to just regular stuff?
When I passed out the night before, I felt like I was a 9 out of 10. On my way to the airport, i felt like i was like a nine out of ten
on my way to the airport i felt like i was a seven out of ten um when i landed in atlanta i felt like
i was like a five out of ten and so i got my shit and uh i parked in like the long parking thing
like like the the long-term parking um it's a it's significantly cheaper and by the time i got to my car i was
still like a four out of ten i guess so i just sat in my car for like an hour and a half two
hours or something like that i would i just like got outside my car started walking around and like
puffing on my vape and fucking around on my phone i just i wasn't good to drive i had to sober up
i had to sober up i waited until i felt like a hundred percent good to go again
and then i got in my car and got home and i felt like days had passed it was like a lord of the
rings type experience like it was that that that moment where like gandalf comes into the bedroom
and frodo is all happy to see him it does not simply walk into denver international oh my
fucking god not when you eat a pan of brownies essentially and then stumbled into denver international oh my fucking god not when you eat a pan of brownies essentially and then
stumbled into denver airports like six hours later it was so scary like i don't know why
woody and i were both like dude delay your flight just a few hours just a little bit
it would have cost it would have cost 500 you know like Oh, shit. Okay. Well, that's real money.
You don't want to do that.
At least.
And I feel like I could do it.
I feel like I could do it.
I feel like if I just put my mind to this and keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually I'll be in Atlanta.
As an ex-athlete, every now and again I'm reminded that some of this ability was just taken from me when i wasn't looking
kyle you are an ex-stoner you can't do the things you used to do anymore you don't you can't just do
a gram and go to the airport you uh you're not the the stoner you used to be i bet if you were
kyle right now with how low his body fat is he'd piss clean there's no way i i i smoked so much i smoked so much this week um i've been
taking it really easy since i got back um but i did buy delta eight i um i bought like the
disposable like delta eight um vape things and uh and i bought some of the gummies um i think i'll
go back on what i said i think that at this point they don't get me as high as like lots of weed was
getting me,
but it is still like a really powerful high from this brand in particular.
I had a different brand that wasn't as,
there we go.
It wasn't as strong.
But,
but yeah,
I think that shit's like the wild west right now.
And some of the brands are definitely better than others like you
go in there and you ask the lady or i do that works at the store and she'll straight up be like
this brand of gummy everybody says that they're not getting nearly as high this brand this moon
walker brand everybody raves about it that's why when you come in here it's always gone and i last
time i went in there this is like a week or two ago and i was
like so i know these are good are you gonna be getting another shipment for a while she's like
i don't know it's up in the air i'm like yeah why would why would you know when your next shipment
is you're only the proprietor and i was like okay i'll take all of the watermelon ones and she's
like so like like two three and i'm like whole line, all of the watermelon are mine.
So I got four of these 50-piece gummy containers.
How much were they?
And this will last a long time.
Is this like $150 worth of wheat?
Like $150, yeah, for an amount that's –
I'm still on the first container and it's got a lot in it.
So it'll last a while.
I wanted to ask Kyle because as you were stoned to shit on the show
you kept making little passing comments like i'm so i'm i'm gonna have to take a nice long
break from this for a while like a nice long break from weed and i know that's the same
as being like so drunk you feel like you're gonna vomit and you're like i'm never
drinking this poison again and then like you know time passes did you take that whole next day off just to like reset yourself
or by that night were you like oh it's all good a little toasty um yeah i i didn't smoke um
right away i think i skipped that whole day for sure um and then i've just been like sort of
tentatively using this delta eight um because i
don't want to be like high all day but i'm just like getting high at night mostly and like it's
it really it's really good for going to sleep but um i i've never been as scary high as uh as that
edible i did not enjoy that it didn't look fun at all it the the like last hour of the show like tucker and i would
start talking about something and i'd be like kyle what do you think about this we're talking
trying to get you back in and you'd be like i don't know all right thanks for that and so tucker
what else do you think about this? And Woody's sitting there like,
you know,
I feel,
I don't feel bad,
but I just,
I've got a case of the whatevers right now.
Like,
do I want to talk right now?
Whatever.
Yeah.
Taylor had,
would you have a alcohol or something to keep you chatty?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did not have that.
I have coffee and did nothing.
This clock is
gonna tick whether i talk or not yeah i'm not a good host high i don't think i'm not i'm not i'm
not that high good god good god like like oh that was awful i was i was i was in a coma i was in a
coma i'm very high and i have a good time yeah that's what i said that's what i meant i was trying to like at least form like cogent thoughts so i would be like all right we've got a thing we've got a thing to say let's
start working on it now like five minutes later you say it and say what are you talking about
like yeah i kind of missed the train um i had that um that that crazy like like i could feel it like like like kind of thing
like like like like uh hallucination type thing it was really wild um i hadn't been thinking about
just how bad it was going to be somehow i had just kind of convinced myself that it wasn't a big deal
and uh you know when you've got something big coming up like that that like you don't want to do like like jury duty or a court appearance or fucking um you know anything
like that i don't know why it always goes back to that for me something you really don't want to do
most people say job interview but not you no prison no when you've got something coming up
and you're avoiding it and there's
somebody in your life who's like hey that thing's tomorrow right hey that thing that thing's tomorrow
right why aren't you talking about that thing that's tomorrow that's how fish was he's like oh
you're eating that poison tomorrow right you're eating poison tomorrow right in front of all the
people i was like i don't want to talk about it but It's tomorrow, right? Yeah. Yeah. Do you get everything?
I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
Fish is just hounding you, trying to stress you out.
What do you think it's going to be like?
I thought it's going to be horrible.
It's going to be real bad, huh?
I was thinking about you.
What if you're in there and you just start seeing demons and all the worst things that have ever happened to you in front of all those people, Kyle?
Wouldn't that be awful?
Wouldn't you cry?
It doesn't do that.
I don't know.
It never had to be awful.
No, it doesn't do that.
It doesn't.
But you don't want to put that evil on yourself, right?
If you're going to take something that's impairing.
Kyle, your legal troubles first started like four or five years ago.
I forget. We looked it up. Was it 2018? I think it or five years ago. I forget.
We looked it up.
Was it 2018?
I think it's four years ago.
Okay.
And then all that time, there's been a guillotine hanging over your head and a finish line at the end of this.
You have finally crossed the finish line.
The Colorado trip we've been looking forward to for ages has happened.
Is there any kind of letdown now?
Now that like like now what
no i'm so i'm so like this has been a good few days like this last couple of days i've been
really happy because it's like i am sort of getting it's like um when uh when like a dog's
been like locked in a kennel and you open the door and for a while he's just like sniffing
like hey what's this see this other I can go out there, huh?
So right now I'm sort of thinking of the places.
Thinking of the places that I can go now? Because I was like, oh yeah, I'd like to do that.
I could. I mean, I could just
book a flight right now and go and do that thing or this thing or the other.
That's been a big part of it um i've got such bad dry mouth from this shit though is that delta eight
yeah it's been uh that's been a big part of it um sort of like getting comfortable with
like the idea that it is kind of over now and i can kind of go about my business on a daily
basis and if i wanted to i could have a beer or you know go see my dad without asking for permission
or just i don't know for the fuck of it drive to tennessee like i used to um you know just stuff
like that i know how much you've been looking forward to a nice cold beer
not really no although although you
know when you're not allowed to have something you kind of do right like like i bet if i told
woody like if i was like woody do you want a beer and he was like no i was like good because you're
not allowed them anymore right and then for the next three years i'm denied them at the end of it
i'd want uh margarita. I started making
lots of backyard barbecues part of his
life as a demon.
Like, hey, Cinco de Mayo!
Everybody's
popping their Dos Equis at the same time.
Now everybody's
cool thing is lighters.
You look at everyday carry
bottle openers,
trying to get into bottle culture.
It's not working.
You're not allowed to have the beer.
So you're always thinking about it.
I wish Kyle would let me have that beer.
Have you seen those bottle openers that you can put on top
and then you open it and then you can hit a button
and it shoots it?
Yes.
It shoots the bottle out?
Yeah.
Seems like a bad idea.
Terrible idea.
At best, you're littering.
At worst, you're assaulting someone put an eye out
yeah i like that at best you're littering it's true i've seen what's the littering policy on
when does it go from being composting to to to littering but when you add plastic
okay so i can throw like a whole apple out the window, right?
Oh, an apple? That'll compost.
The contents of
a Wendy's lunch, right?
With the paper fry thing
and the paper bag, that's all
compost.
Boy, not the paper.
He's like, the bag is clearly not plastic.
If you throw the paper in there and that little
plastic sheet that
or i guess wax paper whatever all right so a whole an entire hamburger that you just didn't
care for the taste of as long as you unwrap it that's composting too it'll be fine that'll
degrade could i throw a pineapple out of my moving vehicle you can throw two
all right at what point do we cross from composting vehicle yeah into into some sort
of road hazard now now you're just like the johnny apple seed helping other people compost
i'm just wondering i'm just wondering because like i don't know i feel like i get looks like
if i if i start throwing the tomato off of my chicken sandwich out the window like maybe
someone's judging me as a litter buck i don don't know. If it's food like that?
If I broke a watermelon
in your front yard by the sidewalk,
assuming you have such a situation,
would you clean up the watermelon
or let nature run its course?
Well, see,
I don't want a compost pile in my
front yard, and so I would
clean that up. It won't be there
for too long.
Yeah, but then I'll get ants and everything yes they will clean up the watermelon for you that's the service they
provide i mean i'd try it you know i'd give it i'd give it a day or two until it was soupy and
very difficult to remove and i'd be like oh fuck like i gotta i gotta shovel this into the garbage
that is a terrible plan yeah it's the worst of both worlds there yeah like i've
my wife tell you there's a watermelon in my yard i 100 won't do shit about it i might mow it if
it's still there later yeah actually that would now you're composting all over the yard because
it's spraying little bits of sugar you still have ants but yeah yeah yeah i've had like like my wife
thinks that too we're like i'll like take chicken nuggets out of the container that like we don't want to eat on a road trip or whatever and just throw it out the window on the side of the road.
And like, you don't don't just throw that out there. And it's like all the paper is still in here.
That's going to phrase it like that, that banana peel, that slice of orange, the rind, that half-eaten McDonald's burger, that is going to make a
bird's day. A bird or
some other critter out there, some bug, an anthill,
they're going to come upon that like, oh, there's a god.
They're going to take those nutrients.
Whenever I've got
um i uh i ordered groceries a while back when i was when i was cutting weight and they sent me
the wrong kind of bread and it's it was like 20 extra calories a slice which adds up yeah over
the course of two loaves of bread so i was like i'm not gonna eat this bread so i uh i threw it
all out outside for the birds and stuff and uh and just look through my blinds
like like i threw it out in the morning and like by midday i feel like a disney princess yeah
everywhere out there there was a fucking like it was like a trail cam video there were squirrels
out there fucking munching and looking around and like there were birds just like they weren't
even carrying it away anymore there was too much yeah the only negative part was like you did it
all the time,
enough for them to start treating your house like expected food.
Yeah.
Like if you were a crazy cat lady or you could train birds.
Well, you didn't see all of Rick and Morty, did you?
I saw the crow one.
You saw the crow one.
Was it crows or ravens?
Two crows.
Two crows, yeah.
Crows are smart.
Do you see both of the episodes?
Because there's two crow episodes.
Yes, I saw the one where he decides to abandon. I saw when he sets up with the cr of the episodes? Because there's two crow episodes. Yes.
I saw the one where he decides to abandon. I saw when he
sets up with the crows and then when he backs off the crows.
Well, they left him. The crows left him, to be
clear. Yeah, the crows left him.
It was important to the crows that that be known.
I did get thrown for a loop when Morty
made himself old.
That was bizarre. That was bizarre.
I feel really
bad for him.
The last two episodes would be, like, if you really bad for him it yeah the season the last
two episodes would be like if you really wanted to get like like cut to the chase you could watch
the last two episodes of the current season you know i usually like work and morty and i haven't
watched it this year i don't fucking watching um yeah it's not bad shucks what's the cowboy movie
i think i talked about it a little bit the cowboy tvboy TV show with Kevin Costner. Oh, Long, not Longmire.
The Yosemite.
Right?
Yellowstone.
Yellowstone.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm still watching that.
There's a lot of content in Yellowstone.
Every show is an hour long.
Oh.
And not 42 minutes.
I didn't say 42 minutes long like you normally mean.
You're Walking Dead is an hour long show.
How long is it to watch it? 42 minutes, 46 minutes. This thing is like 57 minutes. I didn't say 42 minutes long like you normally mean. You're Walking Dead is an hour long show. How long is it to watch it?
42 minutes, 46 minutes, something like this thing is like 57 minutes.
It's a true hour long show.
I've been hamstrung with my television watching.
I left my Amazon Fire device in Colorado and currently Dirty has it in his luggage.
And I think he's still using it in Vegas.
I think he needs to mail that to me
because uh i don't have another device like um i had this issue where like i could i could never
find out what the most current device was and there was a point where i had too many and then
i just i threw them all away and i started afresh with one and i would just move it from my living
room to my uh bedroom because there was
never an instance where i was gonna like watch tv in my living room and somebody else was gonna be
in my bedroom or vice versa it just didn't happen and uh and so yeah he has my sole streaming device
so right now i'm streaming on like my tvs like apps which include youtube and netflix you can
just download more apps i know but it's come on man you can't click h apps. I know, but it's, I'm high man.
You can't click Hulu install.
Like,
like the problem is that like when I,
when I'm,
when I have time to watch TV, that's also when I have time to like,
all right,
let's smoke some of this Delta eight.
Now it's nighttime.
Like we're done with the day's work.
Like,
you know,
do you ever like,
sometimes I'll do that.
I actually often I'll do this.
We're like,
I'll sit down for the evening
and i'll be like i'm gonna pick out what i want to watch nothing else to do the rest of the day
gonna relax and get good and high take a bunch of hits and then it's like oh no now i'm stoned
to shit and i haven't picked out what i want to watch so i'm in for 40 minutes of like clicking
on things reading it and being like but do i really want there's probably something better and then in the end almost always after like reading 10 15 descriptions that i search for
on different apps i'm like you know that first one wasn't bad yeah um what i do is sometimes
i'll spend like if i'm just like if i'm not doing anything i'll spend some time researching movies
that i do want to watch and put them on my list. So I had that list to sort of pull from when we were in Colorado.
But there were still plenty of times when it was like,
nobody wants to watch a two-hour movie regardless of what it is.
And so we're just sitting there, just stoned,
just clicking through app after app and not knowing what the fuck to watch.
It's like, I don't want to watch this two-hour movie.
I want to spend 40 minutes picking a movie that's an hour and a half long.
Yeah, I want to watch eight episodes of a 22-minute show.
That seems like less commitment to me right now.
That's what I did just a couple nights ago.
I was like, I can't find any horror movies that I either haven't seen or that look good.
I'm just going to rewatch season five of The Simpsons.
I watched a lot of horror movies while we were out there, and I didn't care if they were good or bad.
I watched some real shit. lot of horror movies while we were out there um and i didn't care if they were good or bad i watched
some real shit i went back to the friday uh the 13th series and watched a couple of those i'd
never seen and also the freddy krueger stuff some of the later ones that i'd never seen
did you do any hellraiser out there i've seen all of those fairly recently um and i don't think
they're any good other than the first one's not bad the first one yeah i like the first one i like i like the first saw yeah um you know the guy who made saw also did the conjuring you know
i think that's james wan or something like that
did i say something about asians in the last show i feel like i just felt a bit of
guilt toward toward when i said james wan's name like maybe i said something did i say bad things about asians on pki i remember i don't think so oh i did oh i know what i just watched
the the squid game thing that's what it is that's oh you finished squid game i finished it um i
started it yesterday and i just watched the whole pretty thing. It's pretty good. You didn't like it very much?
Here's what I think.
I feel like everybody likes it.
It was good, but nothing can live up to its hype.
How's that?
It was so hyped.
I was like, what I was imagining is a lot cooler than what I got.
Yeah.
All right.
I wasn't imagining a show that was more like hunger games and it's battle royale like like i first of all i love that it's super
violent um and that there's gore because that's what the hunger games was missing it's like hey
you know you're remaking a movie or you're you're drawing from material that's about school children
murdering each other in cold they went a little light with the child murder in Hunger Games, didn't they?
Way too light.
They really did. All jokes aside.
It was fucking dizzying.
I wanted to see those kids disemboweled.
Maybe use their bowels as
camouflage like Walking Dead does.
Let's not get ridiculous,
Woody. I want to see the children die classy
deaths. Of course I want them to die classy
deaths.
Let's get real. That little kid kid we're not bringing her around for her like date her cake decorating skills or whatever the fuck that yeah the fact the the cake icing guy
survived is dude how long have you been out here all day icing yourself instead of looking for
clean water where did you get all the confectionery the cake icing guy was the strongest guy in the whole fucking thing he was poorly cast
i know i never read the book so i only saw the show fucking hercules uh big dude yeah and and
in the cast he was a normal person i've said this before i remember when it first came out i was in
college the first one and i went over to a friend's house and we were all smoking.
And he's like, dude, guys, this Hunger Games thing, people are saying it's just for kids.
I watched it.
It's awesome.
And so we're like, all right, Eric, show us what's up.
And so we're all sitting around, hanging out, watching it.
And we get maybe like until the cake scene or so.
And he's like, guys, I just need to apologize.
I thought this was
way better than it is now that I'm watching it
with friends.
Everybody does that with YouTube videos.
Every video, every song.
Taylor, this song is good.
I try to only send my best.
Wait for it.
Two and a half minutes in, this song gets good.
In a God of Davida.
Have you heard it? It's 28 minutes long.
By Iron Butterfly.
When I send you guys stuff on WhatsApp,
I try to
I'm always on Reddit or whatever, just kind of
scanning the internet for interesting stuff.
You guys only get the best. You get the top
5%.
You did great stuff well. I always watch your videos.
There are some people
who get the top 25%.
They're getting fucking scraps.
Stuff that I don't even want to see.
You guys get the creme de la creme.
You get that British family
singing that remix acapella.
You get good stuff.
Or you get that man who exploded the other day
when he was checking the valve.
That was good. You didn't expect him to just die.
I didn't. I didn't think he'd die.
I thought it might have...
He did die.
That valve was full of anger
and death.
I think the valve
was on a big container of death.
And I think he unleashed
it upon himself. It was wild.
This guy's on top of this big gas turbine type thing.
And anyway,
the valve explodes and the man explodes so violently that he kind of rains
down like,
like pinata pieces or something.
Yeah.
I'll be watching that again,
but thank you for sending it.
I got that one saved right here.
Yeah.
It's like,
oh man,
what a great way to start the morning. Yeah. I like to saved right here. It's like, oh man, what a great way to start the morning.
Yeah, I like to do them early.
It's like, oh,
mid-morning, 9.30?
Just having my coffee. Oh, okay.
This is the kind of day it's going to be.
Yeah, I feel like it braces you
for the morning. You start off and you're like,
oh, it could all be over right now, any moment.
I think I don't have any valves to play with.
You got to carry that intensity with you throughout the day when you see death.
Like, you know, you're barely out of bed.
You sleep in your eyes and that man's exploded.
You must always be consumed with your own mortality.
I saw an old lady get drug out of a car the other day by a Bengal tiger.
Dragged out.
Did I say dragged?
Or should I have said dragged?
You should have said dragged.
What did I say?
Drugged.
Or drug.
She was drugged as she was dragged.
Well, it got her.
That's all that matters.
Was she okay?
Dragged.
That's something you like.
She was dragged in the vehicle.
Like, you'll hear about stories of, like,
a person wounded by a bear or something, but they escape. dragged that's something you like in the vehicle like you'll hear about stories of like person
by a bear or something but they escape like you never hear about like a failed tiger attack they're
like no really like nobody like nobody about tiger attacks in general maybe if i was in
i don't know india or something i'd hear about failed tiger attacks oh i think tigers kill a
significant amount of people in ind. They do. We've talked
about this before, but you look up tiger
attacks in India, they
found individual tigers
who whole villages would be horrified of
because it would kill
dozens and dozens of people.
I think the most badass land
animal is an elephant,
but we focus on tigers because they're
the pound-for-pound champs. I think we focus on them because they're the pound for pound champs
well and we focus on them because they're predators and they'll and they'll kill us just because we're looking the wrong way and they want to eat us whereas you don't think elephants do
uh elephants well i mean elephants don't eat meat right so like tigers like see us as food like
there's a very small like group of predators who are like the the actual apex predators that
actually look at humans as a food
source, potentially. Bears.
Grizzly bears are amongst that group of
animals. The big Asian
tigers are, too.
They always talk about
how, oh yeah, if this shark
bit you, he was just checking
you out.
I'm still not okay with that deal.
I'm still not okay with that deal i'm still not okay with that
but but i get it but i don't think i don't think they used to tell me you just lose like
like part of your foot like i use that part i use the whole foot you need the whole thing
other than like the vestigial little toe i watched jaws on the uh on the trip and uh it was so it's it's to me it's as good every time
um we had this big ass projector and um it was really good like i'd forgotten like if you're
especially if you're stone and it's late at night that movie is still kind of scary
there's a couple of shots where like the shark is like swimming underneath the kid
that were uh that were really scary and they still look real because they have a big dumb fake shark floating around in
the water.
That's a good movie.
That is a good movie.
I've seen the shark scares me.
Like it gives me good,
like sweaty hands feeling.
No,
I've never seen it.
They,
uh,
there's a tour in LA where you like,
you go on like a tram car and the shark goes up next to every part of the
thing and tries to scare the people.
It maybe works on the first people.
If you're like six in line,
it's like,
here's our turn.
Is there something in movies like horror or thriller movies that like you get
the hand sweat thing?
Like you'll get anxious on.
So I always get darks for sure for me.
And then if I see a movie that's like about climbing and like they're very high up i will
that's the main one i'll get like sweaty hands like and i'm like imagining like how's he how's
he gonna not fall down it's not his hand sweaty it's when it's real it's when yeah it's when it's
some like usually an ambitious russian teenager climbing something dangerous like that shit. They're actually defying death.
They don't have safety
ropes. You can do
that stuff fairly safely. There are people who climb that
stuff for a living and go 30 years
and retire happily without an injury.
These guys are not
that. This is their third
time doing it and they brought GoPros
and no safety gear. That stuff,
I get the sweaty palms
from it yeah i get a reaction whenever i see someone fall onto asphalt like if um if they
catch themselves with their palms i know what that that injury feels like when you're healing from
that yeah like i know specifically like what it's like with palms like like if you grind your palms
off or you're like picking like small stones out of your stone out of your palms like like that hurts so much and like like i've never had it on my knee
like full-on like bad i've had some little ones on my knee but like there's this scene in the
sopranos when uh steve buscemi is chasing after his laundry truck that's being stolen and he falls
like hard on his knee on asphalt like slides all the skin like off the kneecap
and off the shin right below it and it just looks so nasty and like i feel it every time i see him
do it i'm just like ah fuck that's a bad one yeah that's a good one i've never really thought of
that as like a cringy like oh anything with teeth like oh people's teeth getting ripped out something like that there's
a scene in small spoiler for um the sopranos movie but there's a scene where they torture this guy
and the way they do it is they take an impact wrench you know like
like you take a tire off a car with and they put it in his mouth and when they shoot it when they
pull the trigger it sort, it oscillates around.
It's just oscillating around
knocking all the guy's teeth out,
chipping them away.
In real life, I don't think it would do that.
You've worked in Impact Ranch, right?
Yeah.
Mine's steady as heck. It would just spin.
Now, you could certainly use it
and grind it and do it on purpose.
I don't know.
I don't think it... I it and kind of do it on purpose. I don't know.
I don't,
I don't, I don't think it,
I feel like if you squeeze it,
it kind of wiggles a little.
Okay.
I've done it.
I don't know.
Maybe,
maybe you have a big,
had a big enough,
um,
thing on it.
Socket.
Yeah.
If the socket wasn't round on the outside,
my sockets are all round on the outside,
except for the spark plug one.
Oh,
this one wasn't round.
This one also,
this one was like,
um,
octagonal or something on the outside well i don't know in any case like
like that was i didn't like seeing that happen to that poor man's teeth yeah something about
there are a lot of injuries that are temporary right like if you were to get poked in the thigh
with an ice pick that sucks that's an awful day we'll be all good in a month exactly in a month you'll
probably be literally a hundred percent the tiniest little poke hole of a scar um but if i
not i like i'm doing it but like if your teeth are busted if a finger is removed probably like
there's shit that doesn't come back yeah yeah i think we all have that same reaction um i think uh reservoir dogs
does that really well one of my favorite movies where where you know there are these periods
where it's like oh it's bad it's bad but we can come back oh nope nope that's it that's all there
was nope he's dead like i'll spoil Reservoir Dogs. It's like watching someone drink the last of the milk
and be like, I can still get some.
They're torturing the hell out of this policeman
trying to find out why he knows
and he's not giving up the information.
And as the cop is there,
clearly tortured awfully.
Some of the worst torture scenes you've ever seen.
And he talks to the guy that is the informant.
That's the cop too.
And the other guy didn't realize he knew.
And it was just like,
holy shit,
this guy's going to die.
This cop.
And he knows he's going to die.
And it's a really slow,
long,
painful,
tortured death.
And the other guy realizes that he did it on purpose,
knowingly that he could have given them up anytime it was crazy reservoir dogs a very good movie
like the ear cut it was like oh that's horrible and then like it was permanent that's permanent
but then also like to immediately pour gasoline all over him like still gushing blood what's that
what huh yeah apparently this is one of those like super
common movie things like oh trivia but i don't think michael madsen like he added in the ear
thing he's like oh can you not hear me like that joking thing which did make him seem a lot more
doing that and then throwing the ear aside haphazardly and then wiping his hand on the cop it's it's so dark and that and that song
i don't know about you but whenever i hear that song come on i i often think of reservoir dog
stuck in the middle with you stuck in the middle with you it's such like a happy lucky song that
that's yeah those are all the best horror movies where they have that juxtaposition
and he's doing that fucking dance.
Yeah, it's brutal.
It's so good.
He's just such a fucking sociopath.
Now that I think about it, that was really stolen from Clockwork Orange.
Huh.
A bit of it was, you know, with the juxtaposition of the music I think you're talking about.
And the dance.
The dance as well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, like it was really kind of,
I didn't really put that together until just now.
Torturing to music, that's too vague of a thing because there's lots of torturers in like horror movies
where like they play their like classical,
like I'm a mad genius and I'm going to remove your eyelids,
like that kind of shit.
Maybe those are just like the D-list horror movies i watch so can i change
a topic yeah one of my friends is trying to get me into go-kart racing he was never he always
wanted to do it and he never had the money but now he's an adult he's almost exactly my age right
and uh he's like we should get into go-kart racing. How would you respond if your friend was like,
this is our new hobby.
We're go-kart racers now.
It's a real money pit.
First of all, maybe you're not even interested in it,
and that's enough reason in general.
Yeah, I don't want to do that.
Well, that sounds like a good way to spend time.
It's a huge money pit um and there's always like a lighter piece or something or a
better thing and there's so many different classes and you know it's how nascar drivers start so like
people take that shit super seriously it's it's like it's it's like little league baseball but
like everybody that plays in the major started in little league yeah this guy's
lighter than me so i thought that i would never have a chance oh we rented go-karts um it the
order of finishing was almost exactly the weight of everybody uh heather was first chis was whatever
fifth or something and then everyone in the middle almost lined up by weight i think i was faster
than a guy lighter than me but he couldn't even drive he was too young for a driver's
license i had so but my friend says that they add weight to the cars and even that out there's
oh in the races yeah yeah that's what i was gonna say um obviously when we do it at the place they
don't i did okay i was definitely the heavier and you outdid your
weight then yeah i can't remember so maybe the times are irrelevant but uh it's this place called
answer uh and uh in denver uh that's really taylor went there with me uh really good place
ours was indoors and slippery i think that played a big role in it it was indoors and slippery as well the track was like if people have never been there
it's almost designed to be slippery so you really have to hit your lines and such right it makes it
interesting at low speeds yeah i i never did figure out obviously the fastest way to take some
of those corners i i didn't know if i wanted to take them slow or fast or how to like swerve the
car around and like drift the corner correctly but um i think i was five seconds off and i think we were all like
roughly had within a second of each other on our like fastest ever lap time because we went three
or four times but um yeah i think i think we were still four or five seconds off like the fastest
lap ever and it was like how is this guy beating us by five seconds it feels like we're going so fast yeah that's a huge amount of time in those races yeah it's a short track yeah so it doesn't
seem like you want to get into it very much so i would say no one of the challenges and he does
this he finds cool things to do near charlotte and it's like so you found this cool thing 30
minutes from your house and three and a half hours from my house
that you want to do together that's hard on me and that's each way right so now i have seven
hours of driving every time i do this that to me is in your trailer for this as well by the way
there's not worth it i have i don't even know how many trailers i have but you have one that
would accommodate a go-kart yeah but it's not covered my covered one trust me all the other kids have one
that oh kyle knows the scene kyle knows the scene right there are motorcycle track days
people roll in with like a hundred thousand dollar rvs there is a uh a horse and pony show that
happens in the paddocks you know that happens off the track this okay
i would imagine yeah everything is like this paintball is fucking like this every paramotoring
is like this you go to a paramotoring fly-in people have 85 000 van life vans they have
trailers they have motorhomes motorhomes stuff like that and they it just it's how every one
of these hobbies is it's how it's how guns is of these hobbies is. It's how guns is.
There's always
somebody who's just like,
you got to take it to another level.
But there is that sort of culture
where it's like, oh, he's got the
2007 model I see.
Oh, I remember 2007.
This is the voice the people at the go-kart
meet up have.
Oh, how remember 2007. This is the voice the people at the go-kart meet up had. Oh, how terribly droll.
Maybe not the go-kart guys
sound like that. They probably sound a little bit more like this.
Yeah, they might.
So it looks like if you go on a
weekday, $65 for
three races to
see if you want to try this or not.
Maybe I'll do that.
Yeah.
That's about what we paid.
Maybe a little more.
Um,
I think,
I think the cars we went,
I wish I knew how many CCs they were.
Cause that's the determining factor,
but they went about 45 or 50 miles per hour.
Yeah.
The wrecks,
the wrecks hurt.
Um,
but I didn't feel like my life was in danger,
but I hit,
I hit,
um,
one of the guys really, really fucking hard, though.
How? Why?
Into a corner, and we had two different ideas on how that corner should be taken.
It seemed like he took it this wide, lazy way, and I took it this really short, aggressive way
that made me slam into him and basically T-bone him because he was there to be T-boned
when I didn't expect him to be there.
But I hit him going, I don't know, 25, 30 miles per hour,
just T-boned him, and that's really fast
when you're just sitting on a fucking go-kart.
Yeah, smashes you in your forearms.
I hit him so fucking hard.
I remember only making that mistake once
where like i i think i the one time i ran into chis like i didn't know yet to like
let go of the wheel because it would like send like shock waves like up your forearms like oh
that's really uncomfortable you felt do everything yeah i didn't i was i didn't expect to run into
him and so like later when i would like see i was about to crash i would like just just let go
real quick crash and then even though you're saying it doesn't feel like the move it feels
like you'd want to make your arms are great shock absorbers you know maybe just don't lock your
elbows or anything but you know like be ready i just did it badly the first time and i think i
just assumed like okay so you don't want to have your arms gripping the wheel that tight when you are about to smash headfirst into someone but maybe kyle you probably
didn't hold it that way like i didn't take my hands off um but most of my hits were kind of
sideways except for that one i would like slide the car sideways into the wall really fucking fast
and it would like make me like lean all the way out of the car and they warned me a couple
times for that um they like they have a sign they hold up and they like they can remote control take
away like 90 of your car's power for a little while so they did that to me it was pretty lame
is that embarrassing no it's just like come on i didn't hit anybody i just hit the wall
you know i'm just trying to go fast i just want to go fast the best part about those is that there wasn't oh one time i thought horrible
like one time i thought i was pretty even i thought i was behind fish um and he was going
really slow and i was going really fast and i think we just had watched like ricky bobby so i
just went shaking back and i just rammed him in the back because I thought he'd think it was funny. And it was just some kid.
Just some enormous kid.
It wasn't fish.
It was just some fucking kid in the car.
And he made an audible noise.
He went, eh.
Meanwhile, like fish is at your side pulling up like, hey, Kyle, are you afraid of the thousand milligram edible? You have to take it two days.
Fish, I swear to fucking God. fish ever pay people back for all the drugs he consumed no that's not necessary
you know it sounded pretty necessary uh no he bought drugs of his own and okay he contributed
then to some extent i don't know i
don't i wasn't really counting um i try not to do that sort of thing it i in any case like all the
drugs i bought got smoked like if i didn't want something to get smoked i'd keep it in my pocket
right i feel like if i'm leaving my drugs out on the counter with the rest of the drugs i'm
sort of saying anybody want any drugs and in that household the answer is a
resounding yes i'll take all of it please so like i i didn't mind if somebody smoked my uh my weed
if it was like left out on the counter with like the grinder and the paraphernalia and shit
i am still sore from my camping trip i got home a few hours ago i did a motorcycle camping and
all my friends brought faster bikes.
They brought smaller dual sport bikes.
They're kind of like street legal dirt bikes.
I had my big touring bike.
Just
every second of the last three
days were spent
maximizing how quickly I could get to go
over the trails and
standing up, holding on,
going fast.
I had two good crashes and two good scares not that's uh that's not a great that's an adventure by my standards that's fucking awesome
seems like a lot for five days four encounters no that sounds no that's low if you're having
fun every day come on i thought that was one day of encounters i thought i was like that's a great day yeah i i i don't on that bike i don't like to crash at all um
but uh but yeah one time this the performance difference between their lighter bikes and mine
on greasy like mud was really most that was the way it was most pronounced so i i slipped one time
trying to keep up another time i just crested over the hill and on the other side of it were
big rocks but they were big and flat not like tall to crash into and for me they were just slick like
ice and i don't i wish i had them on video because i don't know exactly what happened but in no time
i found myself going sideways and sliding.
And I just sort of slid off the side of it.
And the bike slid in front of me.
It was a rumbling, bumbling, stumbling.
Everybody was on the other side of the hill parked.
It was a gravel, rocky road.
But there was a stop sign.
And I made quite the entrance.
Just whatever.
Me and 600 pounds of motorcycle and luggage sliding across the rocks.
I wasn't hurt at all.
It was cold.
So I always have protective gear on.
But in the summer, my elbows, shoulders, and knees and stuff, they're protected.
But everything else is like mesh.
It's like a fucking 1970s disco outfit with padded elbows.
In the winter, it's more like a card heart jacket, right?
Which isn't protective, but it's got a little heft to it.
You know, it absorbs the blow.
So I was 100% fine.
But they're like, Woody, take a minute.
Dude, collect yourself.
It's okay.
And I'm like, no, I really am just all here.
I know it looked like hell, but it didn't feel like much i was okay
so as i think about it i came to a slow stop i must have slid like 15 feet or so
across the rocks and uh that's not a bad way to stop tree is much worse oh yeah a tree is
gonna beat you 10 times out of 10 yeah i don't have much to offer a tree no it's been there long before you and it will be
there to disable motorists long after you some of these trees might be under 49 or 48 true you're
like no i would have fucked this one up 20 years ago what's the oldest tree you can beat up
well actually beat up? Well, actually...
There is no actually after that question.
No, no, there is. There is. There's a breaking point.
I feel like I could beat up any tree
under like 15
and some trees over like
150.
Like El Presidor back in the woods, right?
He used to knock down those dead trees.
Those are deceased trees.
Yeah, I can beat up deceased trees as well.
That is firewood.
I can take out firewood.
Anyone can beat up firewood.
We don't punch a tree down.
You have to punch the tree down.
No, you have to do it like Jean-Claude Van Damme in Kickboxer
when he was kicking that bamboo.
You remember this scene?
I might need to go younger on this tree.
He's training, and he's just kicking the bamboo over and over and it hurts real
bad, but he just keeps kicking it. It's great.
So all my stuff's wet. It's hanging
behind me and the tent's set up in the office
here. Wait, there's a tent set
up in the office?
Oh man, I am high.
Alright, I didn't notice that.
It's subtle.
I guess there is usually an orange
carpet there. It's just an orange tent. I an orange carpet there it's just an orange tent i can see
yeah it's a it's just a little short thing but i was watching the blues game last night because
the regular season finally started and this new guy buchnevich we have who's russian we just got
him from the rangers and he was like sniffing a goal in the first win against colorado and in
this game against uh phoenix a goal yeah like meaning like he kept like sniffing a goal in the first win against Colorado. And in this game against Phoenix, a goal.
Yeah.
Like meaning like he kept like shooting and just barely missing or hitting the post or like make a great save.
Like it was one of those things where he's like, he's a good player.
So he's like, you know, trying to make his, you know, his appearance like his first game on the Blues look really good.
So everybody has a high opinion of him.
And in the second game, he scores.
And so I think he's gotten a goal and assist in two games so point per game but and i was like watching i'm
like oh this guy's gonna be a great score this is exciting he's like six three six he's a big guy
he shoots hard he gets a little dirty three minutes after he scored he headbutted someone
and got uh kicked out of the game and now he's suspended for the next two for headbutting,
which is not a traditional hockey play.
No.
Usually punch.
Like he could have cross checked the guy in the teeth and they would have
been like,
Hey,
knock it off,
but that's two minutes.
But no,
he had to headbutt him.
And so that's the rest of the game and is he
clearly guilty oh it's so obvious you see it like because i was watching the blues announcers and i
must have looked down and darren pang one of them like very not not a homer announcer at all he was
like i don't understand what they're talking about here they i hope they pull up a replay soon so you
can see and then like it shows like a slow motion of Buzanewicz going...
And the announcer goes, oh, jeepers.
Oh, jeepers.
Well, obviously that's a penalty.
He's like, I think they're going to kick him out of the...
Yep, they're kicking him out of the game for that.
Have you ever done anything regretful like that?
I've definitely never headbutted anyone and've been kicked out of the game i've
done two things so i learned to play hockey as an adult so even though i'm like i don't know 26 or
25 or something i'm really inexperienced and i'm here with my new team i i hardly know their names
and one of them gets into a fight hey Hey, you take on one of us,
you take on all of us,
right?
I got his back.
I was third man in on a fight.
And even my own team was like,
what the fuck asshole violates hockey culture.
Like don't,
don't two on one.
Someone,
the other team thought I was a dick.
My team thought I was a dick.
The referee sent me to the box
i'm surprised he didn't kick you out your own team because like that's such a rule in hockey
i can't blame you for not knowing but like being like third like obviously if two guys are squaring
off fighting no one can be a third man in or everyone is going to be like the fuck oh you're
ruining the the great hockey right like any, I couldn't do that in boxing.
Couldn't do it in...
No, I feel like in a boxing match,
you've really committed what they call a faux pas.
Anyway, yeah.
So that was one thing I did.
Another, and this one I can't take back either,
but like, so we're playing the puck,
and I'd fallen, right?
In lower levels of hockey, if you're playing the pocket and I'd fallen right. And in lower levels of hockey,
if you're playing against the boards,
one guy falls sometimes.
And,
and,
uh,
he was like trying to dig the puck out from maybe under my thigh or hip or
something like that.
And I kicked at his skate with my blade.
Now,
no,
it was hurt or anything,
but I got a penalty for it.
And it is a real faux pas to use your blades as weapons it is it is even worse than third man in to use your blades and i didn't
think it through or any of the second i know i knew not to do this right it was an it was an
instinct a reaction to sort of like,
oh, maybe if I kick his feet out, he'll fall too.
And I can still manage the best of this play.
I think that's what was in my head.
I don't know.
It all happened really fast.
And I kicked, they blew the whistle,
and I was like, oh, I really just did that.
Fuck.
Oh, that's brutal.
Now I'm empathetic for other people who were like,
I didn't mean to do it.
Clearly you meant to. No, I didn't mean to do it. Clearly you're meant to.
No, I mean that I wasn't thinking.
I was just dumber than normal for a moment.
There was a guy in the NHL a few years ago
who did something stupid or took a hit
and was skating off the ice looking down all angry.
And he wasn't fully, I don't think,
internalizing what was around him.
And he passed a ref and he just goes and just smashed the ref into the boards and the ref falls down and the
ref is not an nhl athlete and he's not prepared for a hit yeah and his excuse i think was like
i was so shaken up from the previous hit i thought he was an opponent and it's like
but you were skating back to the bench so like at best you thought you were committing a very obvious interference but really i think he was
just so mad i bet he really did think it was a player on the other team because he didn't have
a penalty called on him but like immediately he had to be like uh concussions are a big deal i
have a concussion that's why yeah they suspended him for a while for that did you you've probably seen it because
it's been on the reddit front page repeatedly but there's a guy in the in the in the sin bin
right in the penalty box and i don't know who's playing for i don't know the guy but he's like
the fuck like everything's wrong and then he watches the replay and he goes yeah
i've seen that yeah it was like kneeing or something on a young guy from Vancouver and he's
going,
and this is fucking bullshit.
This is trash.
He looks up.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I have a good attitude about it.
I'm empathetic to the idea that you can do something that you didn't,
that,
I don't know if you had a moment to think about it,
you wouldn't have.
Yeah.
This is one. Well, I mean, that's why you're coming out to defend Harvey Weinstein,
I believe.
He's never headbutt anyone.
Yeah. And he's never
attacked with the blades. He's never been third man in.
Well... He's a better man than I.
He's a better man.
He helped make Lord of the Rings.
He did help with all of that.
We'll recall Woody had precisely nothing to do with the production of Lord of the Rings.
That's true.
That evens the score a bit, probably.
He's off.
Is he in jail?
Weinstein?
He's still in jail.
You're thinking of Cosby, maybe.
Yeah. You think Weinstein will get out
he might he is rich and powerful
and memories are
short and just they'll be a thing
I disagree I think he's done
oh
we don't have enough time we should talk about Dave
Chappelle's special on PKA this
week have you seen it watch it in time
oh you guys should definitely watch it. I have not
watched it. He's in a lot of trouble.
Don't do any research.
All I know is that
the LGBTQ
plus community
is not happy with it.
That would make sense.
That's as much as I know. That's as much as I'll
spoil. Chappelle has a way of
not getting canceled so we'll see i want to see it i want to see i enjoyed the special i thought
it was very good and i think really anybody who has a problem with it is probably a straight white
woman oh interesting because it's like a lot of things the people who have problems with it are
the lgbq that i've heard and i don't know much yeah they might work there well yeah i'll have to watch it okay you'll say is that do they have
a storefront somewhere like gays or us or some shit it was the subreddit big and gay like is
there a brick and mortar for lgbtq yeah like do they have a they have like a headquarters
i want to see the decoration of that place. I mean, it's wild.
I've seen Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
They've got the taste.
I just want to see.
Yeah.
There's got to be some good ones out there.
Unicorns and stuff.
Well, I'll watch.
Is it a full hour long?
He's been cranking out specials.
Rainbows?
No clowns.
He's decorating.
Is this a full hour long special or like a 30 minute
I was high it could be 4 hours
I wouldn't know
it was an appropriate amount of time
and I felt bad at one part
I felt like the last joke
turns out to be like a heartfelt
fucking moment and I wasn't expecting that
I didn't need that shit
I like Dave Chappelle so I'll watch it i like him a
lot i like him a lot it was uh it was pretty good i think he's actually in 42 minutes hour and 12
minutes oh yeah okay um yeah it was good i like it a lot i'll give it a go i'll have to check that
out you want to wrap here boys yeah i think so all right i almost want to just do nothing
for 14 more seconds
hit the hour mark
just to make sure that
bullshit nothing conversation for 14
seconds so we can say technically
no