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pecan 392 what's up boys how's it going i'm doing well how are you guys haircut taylor i did
looking sharp i did and i felt like do you ever get like a barber compliment i guess not a bar
is a barber only a man or no i'm not sure so a barber has a different license than um so so you
can cut hair i think with like a cosmetology license and a barber's license but you can cut hair, I think, with a cosmetology license and a barber's license, but you can't break out the razor unless you're a barber.
Oh, okay.
So then this person is a barber.
I just declined the neck shave razor thing, but it's called Hair Saloon for Men, and they're all over the place around here.
And it's like $30 with the tip, and they give okay haircuts, maybe $25.
You get a good feeling when you get compliments at the hair place that hadn't happened in a while
she was like i hadn't gotten a haircut in like six weeks seven weeks and it was starting to get
curly and flippy and bad looking and like like to the point i was getting i don't know if you
guys experienced this where my neck thicket connects to my beard and then there's ear Island.
Like it connects like that.
I like bring the trimmer like into these corners and get that though.
Oh,
I know I do that too.
I'm just saying if I let it go for a while,
that we'll do that. But the lady was like combing my hair and she was like,
my God,
this is the thickest hair I've seen in years.
And I was like,
yeah,
no big deal.
It's pretty gray.
So, so, so let me tell you a little thing about um barbers uh hairstylist strippers um and just
women in general they'll tell you what you want to hear i broke i've won hundreds have you ever
had a woman tell you that oh you've got the third biggest dick i've ever seen
not one yeah if you're like fucking uh like an actuary
the best dick your hair's the thickest they all say that compliments at the barber from other
patrons or actually here's what i got that made me feel good guys in the chair and and he doesn't have a lot of hair
and he goes you know he's a black man it's not right that i'm paying the same for my haircut
that he is i like that i like that well kyle don't be raining on my fucking parade like that
you cunt no it's because my hair is so nice and i just feel like like 95 of the audience is like
me and taylor are
are akin now because i too am told that by my barber everyone listening to this except for the
people who like clearly have issues um like like the barbers oh i just can't get my comb through it
oh howdy wow you're so manly told me i was cute when i gave her singles and i was sexy when i
gave her fives i I don't understand.
Yeah.
You get upgraded.
Well,
she never did meet me out back.
Next time we're in real life together.
I want,
we're going to compare.
I guarantee I'm,
I'm tripling up your follicles per square inch.
It won't be close.
First of all,
close.
Impossible.
Second of all,
because my,
I assure you,
my stylist tells me Taylor.
Very thick. Very thick. I have you, my stylist tells me, Taylor, very thick.
Very thick.
I have it on good authority.
That's a nice little bulge down there.
Can I mimic you?
I don't know if my hair is as thick as you young guys.
In high school?
Yours is coarse, though.
It's like, it's bristly.
I had a guy make fun of me.
He said that I didn't need a helmet
because I just had a permanent hair helmet. It's just like, it's pristly. I had a guy make fun of me. He said that I didn't need a helmet because I just had a permanent hair helmet.
It's just like, he felt like it had some sort of protective value.
Oh yeah.
I had to get a larger.
So like in the early two thousands, like the big look for younger guys was like that fucking
big shed, or at least in the hockey world, like really shaggy, long ass hair.
Like my hair was, but my hair doesn't grow like like a cool
surfer guys it grows out and it gets so curly like a jufro almost and i remember like all the other
kids on my team had long hair and my dad was like taylor you just look terrible like just very
upfront and i'm like dad but everybody else in the team has it. He's like, we're going to have to buy you the next size up goalie helmet,
unless you get a haircut.
And I was like,
well,
I mean,
fine,
get the helmet.
And so I had a bigger goalie helmet.
Wait,
you really did.
Yeah.
Well,
that was also at the age of like going from like,
uh,
like junior to like adult size.
I was like,
I needed a bigger helmet.
He was going from, I imagine it was something you had to adult size. I needed a bigger helmet. He was going from human to livestock.
I imagine needing bigger helmets was something you had to live with
as a youngling.
Yeah, Kyle.
Human to livestock.
That's actually a horse helmet.
It's very long.
It's got the holes for the ears.
He's a furry.
It's got blinders on.
It's like, now Taylor's very jumpy.
Get spooked
don't make loud noises around him provides excellent production but he hates the bit
he hates it feed him with an open palm
yeah you're talking about like the horse thing that made me think of that gun Thera massager.
And Kyle, you said I know Woody has the Thera gun, like the legit one.
I bought like a 60, 70 dollar like mimicry of it.
And I used it once last night and it was fine.
It worked.
Worked a OK.
Kyle, you were saying you have a horse massager device.
So it was cheaper.
No.
So the problem with text is that, you know sarcasm doesn't always show shine through and
i think that's what happened there um i think i was joking around that to get an eat see woody
has the real one that costs like 300 and you got the discounted one it's 160 frankly i can't imagine
spend that much on anything that's not a sex so i don't have one but i was making the joke that i
had you know cut even deeper and i'd gone to like an animal
massager you know what's weird is like when you said i i literally i know someone in the periphery
of my world who is a who like part of their gig is they massage like rich people's horses and like
give them like treatments and so i was like oh k high IQ, walking, walking into the feed store and going, give me the horse mats.
Give me the horse massager.
Give me the horse dumbbells.
He's walking out like a thief.
I'm just walking through my neighborhood with sacks of feed on my back.
After this, I get to eat it.
Great macros.
No, I was just kidding around.
I really don't get like extreme muscle issues ever like like uh i'm really careful to like i i think it would be
an extreme muscle issue like what are you thinking of like so that i can't go back like like i i've
had um i've had back issues where like we'll sleep on the floor tonight or we'll move gingerly
um you never you don't realize how
much your back is doing until it's fucked up and you need to get off the couch and it's like
i think i need to do i need to wait do i hold my breath before i move yeah hold your breath before
you move you're like trying to i'm like trying to stabilize my back before i like do that i've
hurt my back like that a few times like but it only it only, it goes away in a day or two days.
It's like a muscle part of your glow up or like part of a day at working on
the farm.
Oh,
just various times throughout life.
It's done that like,
like lower back on right side or left side,
just get some like real bad pull,
I guess,
or something.
It feels almost nerve involved.
So that like,
if you actuate or activate that muscle just right,
it's like a whole like,
Oh,
not like that kind of thing. And so it's such a painful nerve kind of thing but um with stuff like that i just
like take it easy maybe get like a real massage um those are cheaper than you think and they'll
show up at your house and uh you know no funny business obviously and uh you gotta you gotta
you gotta look for the ones who you'd be surprised how hard it is to find someone who just wants to
massage you sometimes.
Really? Everyone tries to blow you, Kyle.
That's not what I'm saying.
I thought it was just me.
Yeah.
But no, I don't have one of those guns.
I talked to somebody else today actually about the gun
because I was telling them that you have the gun.
They're like, the gun's way too strong for me.
A Hitachi magic wand does more than just get women off like like it's also really
good for muscle stuff i felt like a bitch last night messing around with it i turned it all the
way up because i'm like the higher the power the higher the the pleasure or whatever the fuck i was
thinking yeah i put it on my shoulders and i'm like ah grueling and then i set it to like the lowest and it was infinitely better like
i can't see i can see using on my back i can't maybe shoulders a little bit but mainly like
leg day like if i ever blow my quads out i feel like that'll be great for it oh it'll be awesome
for that that's that's exactly when i do that the only thing i i will do is um on leg day if i've
really fucked myself up because like sometimes i'll just have more motivation than others and i'll just get on like um the leg curl machine
or whatever and i'll just be like let's make it hurt like especially if you're all alone and no
one has to see you groaning in the leg curl machine like um you know you might just blow
some shit out that night and uh and the next day it's like we really really i actually i'll hit the
foam roller immediately because i know it's gonna be bad i hate the phone i have the theragun i've
i'm on my people say you guys said i got the good one i actually got the cheaper one first
and i wore it out like i did use it until one day it just didn't turn on anymore and it wouldn't
take a charge and that was the symptom like this you used it every day like pretty no but i used
it a lot it would probably be five days a week.
Okay, that's good news.
And there were two things I didn't like about it.
Obviously, it stopped working.
Yeah.
That was the thing.
But then I didn't like the form factor.
It was like a pistol almost.
So imagine that you're trying to press hard with a pistol.
It kind of bends. I need to press right in line with it.
The other one has a triangle thing going on. Yeah, yeah yeah so the triangle lets you press in line with it put
put your hand right on the back of it and press straight towards the little pound thing so i like
the form factor more um and it keeps working but it's too aggressive that their gun and if you put
it on its lowest setting you would think it'd be less aggressive, but that's not my experience. At its slowest speed, it pounds and hits and hits and goes at you.
At its highest speed, it kind of vibrates on you.
It's like a tattoo gun.
You want a higher.
There's a sweet spot where it's not stab, stab.
It's just, and you're like, all right, this doesn't feel great, but I can't count the stab wounds anymore.
So that's a good thing.
Yeah.
I feel like if I press on the back of it and it moves slow, then it gets a chance to like penetrate deeper instead of just vibrate on top.
So it's backwards than what you might guess.
I considered it.
I've looked at it a couple of times because I've seen them most like, you know, watch a lot of UFC stuff where where they're like getting prepared and i see them using that thing a lot on those guys uh what i'm curious about and
and maybe i don't know if joe ever did this you'd know better than me you know when they've got
those terrible bruises on their back the circular ones that's from the suction cup stuff right yeah
um okay now i believe in that it's not something to be believed in. Is that like the hot rock massage?
What they do is they put very hot air in a small cup.
And then as it cools off, it contracts and it kind of sucks on your skin.
So you put these like six or 12 like sort of suctions on the back of your back.
And it pulls pretty hard and people feel like it gets the blood flowing through that suction.
Here, let me read this.
Cupping is an alternative therapy that uses suction cups to stimulate your skin and muscles.
It can be done on your face or body.
Your face?
You'd scar us.
The suction promotes increased blood circulation, which may help relieve muscle tension, promote cell repair, and aid in other regeneration.
I don't know.
It basically gives your back a hickey.
And if you think that increases blood circulation and helps with healing then maybe it does yeah i would think it does um in the same way that ice baths i believe those work
um i wish they would do some of that science where they take the uh like the core samples
of muscle tissue like i like having that hard data. Everything I have is usually anecdotal or
just, look, Derek said it works,
so I do it. But it's really nice every time
I break out one of those studies
and they're like, basically they made
guys do leg exercises or take
a drug while doing leg exercises for six weeks
and they take a core sample
of their quad muscle before
and after. Very small.
A small core, but yeah. I'm picturing a gun Very small. Like a small core. But yeah, they like go in, twist.
I'm picturing a gunshot wound.
No, they like, like a probe goes in.
I think they like twist and then they pull it out
and they've taken a core sample of their quad muscle.
Don't imagine like a big pen, like a syringe.
Jesus.
A syringe.
No, I wasn't even managing a big pen.
I was like a roll of quarters.
I'm like, oh!
Because I've seen core samples before in the context
of gold mining.
And they're about an inch.
All right, this is our largest
auger.
We're taking the whole quad.
Like, sir, the tool
is on the way. In the distance, you hear
grunt, grunt, grunt grunt no no it's but but but afterwards tools made by caterpillar
it's pneumatic but like afterwards they're able to like they have hard data like they can
measure muscle tissue densities and fibers and however that shit works but they've got hard data
and i'm always interested to see that it's like not only is can he lift 50 more pounds he there's like 50 more
muscle fiber here like he got bigger because that's what all i care about i don't give a
shit if they get strong i want to see injuries and stuff via mri really like my shoulder right
now kind of hurts and i'm kind of rehabbing it just best i can i would like a real good where
they're like oh look at. There's plaque buildup or
whatever it is on your shoulder.
It's overuse here.
Whatever's up.
I got this credit card that I got years
and years ago. It's got
a $6 yearly fee
or something like that. Something dumb like that.
I just let it sit there.
Then every fucking year, this
thing charges me $6 and I forget about it. Two but then like every fucking year this thing charges me six dollars
and i forget about it and like two months go by and then there's a three dollar late fee and
they're like you better give us our eleven dollars or else i like how six plus three went to eleven
and i bet it did it did like i bet it like it was interest on it or something yeah
that's an impractical jokers bit where they literally like oh and then we added the
five dollar gouge charge that's just gouging you over right there you already got some food
eating you didn't know it was coming and bam so so i i decided today i'm like i'm gonna sit here
with my soda let me take a piss first.
I'm not getting distracted.
We're going to cancel this credit card.
And I call her up.
And I've tried before.
That's how hard they are to deal with.
I've gotten frustrated with it before.
Is this like some bootleg card company?
It's not a MasterCard or a Visa?
It's one of the three big financial institutions or four.
Yeah, you'd absolutely know it.
And it's Indian people on the phone know it um and uh i so it's indian
people on the phone which i don't mind whatever she's the guy could speak fairly good english and
he starts going into his whole bit it took me three phone calls and some waiting to get to him
so i'm already a little upset yeah um so but but he starts going through his whole bit and i said
excuse me i hate to interrupt you i'd like to cancel my card now that I've given you that $11. I'd like to cancel it now because I'm tired of the yearly fee. And even
if you waived it and increased my credit limit and made it zero interest, got a bad taste in my
mouth. So let's just cancel this card today. Whatever we need to skip to get that done. Oh,
well, I'll transfer you to that person. And he's like, awesome. So he sends me to her,
the cancel person. Hey, hey, hey, I want to cancel this card. And she's like awesome so he sends me to her the cancel person yeah hey hey hey i want to
cancel this card and she's okay sir so let's talk about your apr i'm like no i refuse to speak about
my apr we're gonna talk she's like well let me just talk about the apr it's a it's a script i
know it is i tell her i'm like i'm like i'm not going to allow you to read your script today ma'am
i refuse to hear your script if you'd like to read it silently or
mute yourself or pretend, all that is fine with me, but I will not have it. I'm here to cancel
my card. You're taking $11 from me for the final time. I said, I'm here to cancel my card today,
and I'm not leaving until it's done. And I'm not going to do anything else before that. First,
we're going to cancel the card, and then we'll talk. And I'm speaking this way because I do
believe that this is either a criminal action or a hostage negotiation. She said, criminal action. I said, yes, ma'am, I have an account
with you, an account which steals money from my account once a year. I never know when it's
coming because I can't remember. And I know that a year from now, you're going to steal money from
me again. I'm going to forget. And then you're going to steal a little bit more. And we're
going to have the same conversation. I won't have it. You're going to cancel my account today or I'm going to
call my lawyer because you're a thief in the night.
I won't stand for it.
I'm going on these long
bits where she can't talk.
She really wants to get the script. She keeps going back
to it over and over.
Thank you so much.
I need to speak to you about your
APR. It's like that
South Park bit. I'm like, I will not speak about my APR today.
I will have this canceled, nothing else.
And finally, she's like, actually, I canceled it several minutes ago.
I need to speak to you about your APR.
I was like, I don't want to anymore.
I want to talk to you about Harry Potter.
Have you noticed that they're trying to change the characters around from what they once were?
Trying to make it fit some
new narrative? I don't like that. I don't like it
when the Huckleberry Finn will rewrite things.
Huckleberry Finn had some bad things in it,
but that's the way they spoke back then.
All I care about is the story I read as a child.
I don't want that to be altered.
I'm going through this with her, and I will
not stop speaking.
I was like, I don't like that they
used that word then, and I don't like when it's
used now, and I don't use it in my personal life, but I think it should remain in that book because
when we hide our dirty past, we're only apt to repeat it more. Just like we shouldn't hide what
the Nazis did or what any hate group does, we should not hide- As a matter of fact, she has
an N-word monument. I'm going on this rant with her. You're torturing this person who's basically
a telemarketer. I stopped for a second to see what she'll do.
And she's like, yes, sir, the APR.
And I said, you know anything about black holes?
And I start playing a PBS documentary through my headset.
But wait, before that, I repaired.
Oh, I don't have it next to me anymore.
But I had my blowtorch in here because I had done a dab.
I said, hang on a minute.
Hold that thought. I need to repair my here because I'd done a dab. I said, hang on a minute. Hold that thought.
I need to repair my sink.
I'm going to solder.
I turned on the blowtorch right in the microphone.
I'm like, I really shouldn't be using this lead solder.
They say it's bad for you, but it's cheap.
And I got to save money because this credit card keeps stealing from me.
The blowtorch is right there.
You're just pissing time away.
Finally, she said, sir, I'm going to transfer you to my superior and then I sat on hold for 8 minutes
what would have been funny is like as soon as she
answered him was like how can I help you with your account
you're like thank god
I'm speaking to you from one Indian to
another I would love if you could cancel
this scam card
well she could have started speaking Hindu or whatever they speak then.
No. And then you'll be like,
I'm not that kind of Indian.
I am the other kind.
With languages
that I speak, the other one.
He'll just switch over
to the Native American one.
I'm actually the other
kind of Indian.
That's it.
Just wait.
We have so much in common.
That's such a good South Park thing.
Me, one night, my card canceled, and you capable of canceling my card.
All right.
You know how they always say South Park already did it?
That's the bit.
That's the bit right there that they haven't done.
It's where the indians both
kinds of indians are conspiring together in some sort of criminal like big global conspiracy
on our own the white man has given us much trouble but you know we may be able to handle it
i you are not bringing the kind of numbers to this that
billion of us and there are 7 billion of us
and there are about 19 of you in
Oklahoma.
Just let us own the team.
But how many horses
do they have? Oh, you didn't consider
this?
No, I hate those
fucking people so much. I have credit
cards because I'm told that I have to have credit
cards to maintain credit history and just show that i'm a human being who can pay bills but uh
i hate dealing with them so fucking much so fucking much it's so hard to get anything done
with them over the phone yeah and i know i know exactly what you're talking about where every
once in a while i'll have an account or something similar where it's charging some tiny amount like four dollars and
you just get so mad that it keeps showing up that you're like yeah like this isn't worth all the
time i'm about to put into it but we're getting this solved today as a matter of principle we're
getting it solved i've done i was on a website called pirate four by four pirate four by four
was the place to discuss off-roading, upcoming off-roading trips,
off-roading pictures that you just took, and mods to the vehicle that you want to make. It was the
central hub, the number one site in the world. And then I kind of fell out of off-roading,
but I paid $20 a year. And you know what I got? A red dot next to my name that came with prestige.
This stopped being worth anything and i tried to
cancel it and i couldn't and then i couldn't log into my account anymore and it the like reference
email was one that i don't use or have anymore i think it was my cisco email so i couldn't like
i couldn't cancel this account without getting re-employed at cisco somehow
so and there was no support there was no help the website faded away i imagine
like every other forum on the earth it switched over to a facebook group and that's where everybody
went and i'm struggling here so i eventually canceled it via paypal and did a dispute and
they got the idea but 20 bucks a year i must have given them an extra like 80 dollars
yeah it's not so bad it's a It's a thing you'd like as well.
It's annoying, though.
It's annoying when you're sending it.
When you forget about it, because then you're mad at yourself.
Where you're like, well, this is on me for forgetting that I signed up for Motor Trend.
So I could watch the new Top Gear special.
And then I forgot about it.
And I watched that Top Gear special once four months ago.
And I'm remembering right now. I'm writing down Motor Trend.
I'm trying to get away from TV talk as much.
I watched Top Gear.
And they went to Vietnam and they rode in boats.
And it was terrible.
What?
It was so over-the-top stupid.
I was angry at them for thinking I was stupid enough to like this show.
They would crash the boat into the other boat like
six times in a row. Crashing the boats
was half of what this entire show was about.
They just do montages
of him crashing the boat. And when he crashed the boat
into his friends, I was
bored by it. When he crashed the boat
into innocent people and sank
their little canoes, I'm like, you're
being an asshole. They didn't mean to do that.
He did mean to do that. No, they meant to hit eaches. I'm like, you're being an asshole. They didn't mean to do that. He did mean to do that.
They meant to hit each other. I remember
the special. They didn't mean to hit the Vietnamese
people. I don't believe
that. The level of incompetence...
So I have a boat. I have a 15th of a
boat, to be more precise.
Damn!
White people privilege.
115th of a ski boat owner.
It's a timeshare.
But I do drive
the boat a lot. And I know it takes
I get that it has no brakes.
You just sort of put it in reverse if you need to
hurriedly lose speed.
But you can't be
so incompetent to hit someone that
many times.
Hey guys, I've got an idea for the name of our boat
i have a uh i was gonna ask a related question to that how much was that boat if you don't mind me
asking uh so it look new i think it was seven grand okay see there was a there's a scam though
it's a story let me tell it okay we were buying the boat and the winch and some, like, extra cash to get the club off the ground.
And it turned out to be, I think it was, like, $2,500 a person, you know, for everyone in the club.
Cool.
And there was some training involved.
It doesn't matter.
One of the guys said, hey, you know what?
For a living, I buy used cars, fix them up and sell them.
That's what my business does.
Why don't I look over this boat instead of paying the cash and I'll redo it?
Just looking at this thing, I can see all the hoses and wires and this and that.
I'll install the winch in the boat.
You know, how else are we going to get it done and everyone in the club kind of having a
blind spot towards someone in the club ripping us off said cool let's do this some of the things
i didn't really understand how hard it is to replace like a tube right like like a radiator
tube you kind of see it you know it's easy but i'm like well maybe it was hard i don't know other
stuff like installing an hour meter if anyone's ever done that it's you just wrap it around the spark plug
wire like four times and then sticky it to the wall it takes i mean i don't think it should take
more than 90 seconds and he charged 120 for that task like he just jacked up all the prices on us
until it conveniently meant until it conveniently meant that he had to know, pay, not pay any money to get in the club.
Cool.
We take the boat out.
Immediately.
The engine is destroyed immediately.
It wasn't, it was running with no oil.
So a pilot got pulled up in the air and then dropped into the water and the boat had to get towed back to land because without any oil in it, it seized.
And they had before and after pictures of his work.
And a real boat mechanic was like, well, here's your problem right here.
That hose doesn't connect from here to here.
What, did they just rearrange the hoses?
He destroyed our engine.
So we were like, all right, bro, you're on the hook for the repairs to this,
right?
You know,
like you should be,
you broke it all by yourself and you sort of didn't pay into the club.
Like this was a whole thing.
He misled all of you that he was some expert in this.
Right.
In the end,
what he did is he paid 1500 of his 25 back and he left the club.
So we had the $2,500
to join and then we immediately paid
another $1,000 or something all around
or $500
because of the broken boat.
If he was admitted to the scam,
put oil in it.
It's not that it didn't have oil in it.
It's that the rearranged hoses
stopped the oil from doing anything.
Feeding coolant into the radiator.
Something like that. Well, that's probably supposed to happen.
I don't know. I picked two
car words and I hope for the best.
Anyway, we got scammed by a member
right out of the gate.
It was like a real intentional scam.
I tried to wrap my head around the idea
that it could have just not worked out
like he hoped, but no, fuck that guy.
Yeah, fuck that guy.
That's so over the line to just.
And no, what an asshole.
Like, he knows if if you hire me and you're like and I'm like, I'm a big boat guy and you're like, that's awesome.
I don't know you well enough to discern.
You're lying.
But and then you like put me on the boat.
First thing I do is like I don't touch any of the wires.
I hope nobody has
any idea where the wires are going and then i come back and act like there's a huge problem
that requires me to find someone more qualified even than me which will be hard to press but i
bet the guy at the bait shop there could help until then i go get him and i come back and before
we know it we have solved the problem might be a better He did. He scammed us and I'm still a little salty about it.
Piece of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's an asshole.
Another thing that's hard to put a value on it.
We lost months out of the summer.
I mean,
this is the thing that's only fun to do like five months a year.
If you blow two months,
like,
ah,
fuck,
I'm going to be like 50 when I get to do this again.
How,
uh,
what's the,
I was curious about like the price of the boat because i was curious
like what do you think that the it's interesting going in with a group like that on something
what's the biggest what's the what's the right group size i guess or maybe what's i'm trying i'm
trying to think of a way to phrase this question because there's there's two sides of it right like
the value of the item like how much are we all putting in versus how many of us are getting uh uh to share this thing yeah and who's trustworthy like how many people that you
don't really know are you going to include to lower that it depends on the thing right like
because if it's like if it's access to something because it's like wipe your feet before you get
out jesus and with others it's like yeah you crashed it off a mountain. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it is a mountain helicopter jumping gyro machine that we all bought.
The first year, I didn't want so many people in the club.
I think we had 15 or 18.
And I was like, this sucks.
There are going to be 18 people every weekend.
I'm not going to get like two flights.
And it's not going to be the experience that I dream of.
What happens is we get 18 people in the club and we're lucky if three will show up.
So you almost need like... That's a good problem.
No, I
like five. If there's
only three people on the water, you're working
constantly. You're always either
the driver, the spotter, or the pilot. There's
never any rest.
Yeah.
Maybe that group isn't even big enough.
Right.
It's like we need another 10 people so we can get one more on the water. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that group isn't even big enough. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like we need another 10 people so we can get one more in the water.
I'm trying to think of like, like trying to think of other things that,
that this makes sense for.
I've never gone in on a group purchase before.
I've seen those car clubs,
you know,
right.
Which is kind of a similar formula where you just pay in a monthly fee and
you have access to various cars and stuff,
but Jesus,
you can't do anything with this car is fun,
right?
Like if you're going to be in a car club where you get to do anything with this car it's fun right like if
you're going to be in a car club where you get to drive a ferrari or something like you probably
would like to do what you want to do with a ferrari and take it to a track i don't think
they're gonna let you do that they have like governors on it where it's like you can drive
this ferrari at seven it would it varies from situation to situation there's that one um it's
like uh toro or something there's that one car service where
with them a lot of those cars have um like this onboard computer system that's like uh checking
on you to make sure you haven't done anything ridiculous and they'll fuck you up you know
they need to put those on if you do or i mean thank god those weren't on rental cars when i
was working at that place like nine years ago because man we whipped those honda
odysseys we were drifting and gravel on the always rental car we had a guy come on here tell a story
or maybe in any case youtuber told the story where he wrecked the car he basically took a street car
off-roading yeah and uh is it called a spoiler that front low thing that hits every curb
you know um anyway that thing got ripped off other things were just missing he brought the car back
just destroyed and he paid the eight dollars in insurance and they were like well you bought
insurance there's really nothing more to talk about have a good day and yeah is that right or
do you already have insurance and you shouldn't have to?
Should you buy insurance when you rent a car is where I'm coming down to.
If you have insurance, like you have to have genuinely horrible, like opting out of stuff to have like no insurance on a rental car.
Like if you have normal insurance, you're fine.
Let me rephrase the question then, because I think this strikes at the heart of what what his true question is if i pay for their
insurance and i fuck that car up on purpose having a good old time and i return it back what is going
to happen to me if anything uh if they can tell that you broke contract by all they cannot tell
okay then if they can't tell,
they will ask you like what happened and you can,
I have a great story.
If you have the insurance,
you could just be like,
you know,
got away from me.
Like,
and then you're just walking into the airport.
I need you to tell me,
no,
no,
no,
let's not gloss over the end of the story.
Cause this is like the pudding scam.
It's like,
and then you just have our air miles forever.
You know?
No,
no,
no,
no.
What happens then?
What do they say?
No, literally I returned beyond fucked up cars.
I've returned cars that they had to pull a tow truck
into the return lane at the airport,
and then I had to return it from the tow truck.
And in no way will this reflect negatively
on my actual driving record
or my real car insurance that I pay for every month.
No, at least where I was working,
if someone came back and they fucked up the car
and they had the insurance that you buy from the rental car place
and you couldn't tell that they had off-roaded or fucked with it
or done anything that breached contract,
it was literally like...
I remember this explicitly
because people would pull in with cars that were very obviously fucked up,
like that spoiler or whatever hanging hanging off the front shattered windshield.
You know, and I would I would be like, please have the insurance.
I don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation.
And when those guys would pull in and step out and be like, thank God I got the insurance.
I'm like, oh, yep, that's awesome.
Have a great day, bud.
And then they would walk into the airport.
That was the end of it.
I would call our shop guy and be like, hey, there ford taurus up here that is unrecognizable you need to send
a truck up here to get it and then you know or the manager would be like what the fuck happened
here and they're like well they had the insurance so we and there's no indication they were off
so there you go i just say in motorcycles there's off-roading that's obvious enough right and then
there's urban hooliganism right we just do hooligan shit
around like industrial parking lots wheelies jumping off curbs you know what sometimes the
parking lots are different levels and there's like grass that with a steep incline take the
rental car to an area like that fuck about and you're not off-roading yeah i remember they like
because car rental companies are like anal as shit about like there's they have whole routines when you join companies where they're like.
And I know Hertz did it.
Enterprise, all of them, where it's like when you return a car, you have to do this minute long, you know, exploring like, oh, look here and then look here and then do this and that and check this.
Three months into that airport gig.
So I've been with the company for nine months at that point,
I'd see it pull up, and as long as it looked all right,
I'm like, thumbs up.
Get going.
And then every once in a while, I would miss something,
and it'd come back, and they'd be like,
there's a huge puncture wound in the back of this Kia Soul.
And I'd be like, man, I can't believe whoever rented that
most recently accidentally sent a broken car out.
How embarrassing.
But like there's so much turnover at those places because you blame it on someone else.
Oh, no, no.
You blame it on someone else renting out the car damaged because then there is no way to know that car could have been damaged prior to that rental.
You said what I said before the words you blamed it on someone else yes of course yes always and it's a non-descript it's a
non-descript person i'm not saying amy rented this out and she fucked up i'm like must have been
but are there records yeah there are but i'm the one who's gonna i'm the i'm the one who's
gonna check it and if i found out that i rented it last i'm just not gonna mention it you know
what i you know what i would actually do i would call up another branch and i
go hey this is uh boise airport and they're like oh there's you know 36 47 where the number is i'm
like hey let's do a trade i got a broken key assault i know you need something you can still
roll it it'll be fine send me anything that's not that's not damaged and then just ship out the
damaged car to a home city branch where people with insurance claims go
and i get a nice fresh new car at the airport what the fuck yeah that's how it works
oh kyle you're talking about how can i get a new car
you're talking to all enterprise and be like hey you know what i got an old jacoba
i'll give it to you anything over here we're good just said they don't want your wounds
it's gotta be well they won't take your wounds. It's got to be.
Well, they won't take a car unless it's like within the last two makes, three makes at most or so, like three years.
But you were asking about that, Kyle.
And I know you're now a Sam Hyde fan.
A bit that Sam has been doing for years is he goes to like rental car places and he rents like an Infinity Qx whatever the biggest fucking suv is and then he takes it
into like fields and abuses it and he ruins the steering and he intentionally and then he like
gets out and he's like guess what no way in hell they're gonna know that i just
roundhouse kick this door closed and then boom just just intentionally breaking things on the
car and then return
and he shows himself like driving back to
the place he's like we cleaned it up they're gonna have no idea
look at what happened look how I have to hold the
wheel and he's holding it like this to
go straight
he just returns it like that totally
destroyed and says you know have a nice
day you can get away with so much
shit at rental car places
because genuinely the employees there,
unless you run into like a lifer manager, they don't care.
Like if there was a tiny little scratch,
if there was like a five inch scratch that was like clearly a little accident
in the parking lot goblin or something with a cart,
I'm not going to try.
And they would tell us like if there's any damage like that size,
you got to run their full thousand dollar deductible
or $500 deductible or five hundred
dollar deductible or whatever and then tell them you know we told you if you do anything to it we're
taking your full deductible without any questions asked even before you return it we're supposed to
like have taken the deductible off their card and it's like no i'm not doing that i'll run
deductible on someone if they really fuck it up and they've got smoke cigarette holes everywhere
but when someone came back with a scratch like i would feel guilty if i were to do that like someone someone coming in
in their fucking nissan sentra on the 9.99 a day weekend special they barely speak english and they
scratch the front i'm gonna ruin their life really like no no way we just wanted to see mama before
she passed away we just wanted to see mama before she passed away.
We just wanted to see her.
And like, yeah, I've said it before.
The only people who bought insurance who didn't like were like rich guys who had probably the best insurance in the world or like rich guys who would be like, well, I have my own insurance and I have Amex insurance.
And they would tell us to say like, well, your Amex insurance might not cover it.
And it's like it does though like
like they're just straight up it's sales they're telling you to mislead people but i was i was the
fastest ticket rider in the west in the last of my tenure my sales in the back room the last like
four months i was there it was wild it was like a guy who's just about to get kicked out of the
league in the pros where it's like everyone else has their sales.
It's like Taylor fucking like and everybody's like tickets like Amy's written 78 contracts.
Steve has written 92 at the very bottom.
Taylor 510 goose eggs across the board, like to the point because I know I wasn't getting commissioned for it because they set the commission structure so high that it was like okay so i need to sell 20 grand of insurance so i get
a pizza party like fuck you i'm not doing that shit and so they like i'd have people come up
and be like i've heard the horror stories of the insurance stuff i have insurance and i'm like does
it cover rental cars and she's like i don't know and i'm like did you specifically opt out of
anything like that she's like no i'm like're fine. Do you have liability on the insurance?
No.
Comprehensive.
We're going, lady.
Let's get you moving.
Yeah, there's so much shady nonsense.
But I guess that's every sales job, right?
Or at least most of them.
I usually get the insurance
because a lot of times we're doing silly things with cars
and I do have to go off-road in them a little bit.
Because here's the thing.
If we're filming something and we may not intend to go we may not intend you should get the insurance for what you
were doing yeah yeah but but also there might be an instance where it's like all right well we need
somebody to drive out in that field right now well are we going to be nancy boys about it and call
call for somebody a real man to come help us or we're going to drive on the fucking field and get
work done today and it's just like we're going to drive on the fucking field and get work done today and it's just like we're gonna drive on the fucking field i don't there's i'll crawl back before i ask for help like we're
gonna get it done so i always just got the insurance anyway and plus i'm i wouldn't say
i'm abusive uh on the car but like there is that thing in your head that's like this shit ain't
mine oh yeah oh like i would never have like turned my cars, like my personal vehicles as aggressively as I turned like these brand new at
the time,
like 2013 Nissan's or,
or vans,
or you would not believe because the ass of a Honda Odyssey is so heavy.
You wouldn't think it would be that great in a gravel for whipping around,
but you,
you get yourself and a couple of the car preps who
have meth problems you have a huge amount of fun out there on an afternoon it's great i believe
and then you come back and the manager's like where were you and you have to be like huh you
know handling stuff with all those goofballs doing meth down at the uh car cleaning area
like i yeah i know how it is it's like you don you don't know how it is. That's, you never go down there
to converse with those maniacs.
That's how I knew
that I could use them
as an excuse.
You're never going to ask that.
Dude,
the people who clean cars
at those places,
some of them
were horrifying.
Same at car dealership.
Like,
those guys were
their own little crew
over there.
They were thieves.
They were like, yeah, yeah.
Like we one guy got fired because stealing iPads and computers from like like people would return their car.
And then four minutes later, hey, I forgot my new MacBook Pro in the back of the car.
And I'm like, oh, no.
And so I go down another minute to the wash Bay and I'm like, guys,
please don't fuck me here.
Please.
MacBook pro.
I know you have it.
And they're like,
I don't know what you're talking about,
man.
There was nothing in this car.
I mean,
it does.
Does she have proof that she even had a MacBook pro?
And I'm like,
could you guys please like,
and then I have to go back up there and be like,
they did not find a MacBook pro in the vehicle.
And they're like,
well,
that it's obviously not true.
And I'm like, oh, no.
Like, I know you should call corporate
and complain about these fucking thieves
who do nothing but accept low-grade meth and steel down there.
They're, like, about to clean a car.
They don't have good meth?
They can't accept that.
They don't have good meth?
You're supposed to lean into that one.
I mean, I could tell who had the best meth because one guy,
I bet he was 22.
He was my age at the time.
And he, maybe four teeth.
Maybe.
Total of four.
You know, correct me if I'm wrong.
I always heard that the reason those meth addicts lost their teeth
was because the chemicals of doing the meth
was corroding the teeth away in some manner.
Is that it?
Or is it that they are so out of it when they get to an extreme level of meth use that oral hygiene isn't on the top?
I might be wrong, but I used to think the chemical thing too.
And then someone told me like, no, it's because they're so geeked out or gacked out that like they don't take care of their teeth.
They don't put like look at them at that. Like they don't take care of their teeth they don't put the like
look at them at that like they don't even like wipe the blood from their face when they cut
themselves like they have nothing on their mind other than more meth all the time and so they just
yeah neglect all that's why they all in their in their mug shots it's all like picked skin with
scabs no teeth hair that hasn't been cut in years all right the extensive tooth decay the answer is
both is likely caused by a combination of drug induced
Psychological and physiological changes
Resulting in dry mouth
And long periods of poor oral hygiene
Methamphetamine itself is also
Acidic
If people don't realize
Like dry mouth
Fucks your teeth up and your tongue up
And your breath up
Like really bad
I don't have that issue I don't have dry mouth fucks your teeth up and your tongue up and your breath up like really bad i don't have
that issue i don't have dry mouth either but i know that it's really like would you rather would
you a dentist would you rather have dry mouth or wet mouth oh wet mouth wet mouth means that you're
going to need a bib i'm just gonna i'm just gonna pretend that i dip and just all the time just it's
it's a binary decision you always look like you just ate five warheads
because your mouth is so dry and you've got that white
stuff at the corners of your mouth.
Or you're always
doing this
because you're holding a mouthful of spittle
that you're always ready to eat. Good God, this is a
binary decision. This is terrible.
I might kill myself. You take up tobacco
chewing just to make it seem normal that you're
always spitting. I'm going to go full Kyle here and just choose death.
Are you telling me I lose an entire fingernail?
I'm hitting the reset button on life.
I'm definitely choosing the pretend to dip for the rest of my life.
Because you know how horrible you wake up in the morning and you haven't drank water in however many hours?
Even that small amount of dry mouth sucks.
Imagine that all day.
Every day.
Your voice would be so dry.
Maybe you could just get some honey and eucalyptus
and some tea.
Well, I didn't know we could fix it.
I thought we...
You gave up on yourself so fast
that I'm looking for eucalyptus now.
I'm already dead.
I was like, maybe some tea.
Maybe have some eucalyptus tea. I don't know. I didn't say it was magical. I was like, maybe some tea. Maybe I'll have some tea.
Wait, wait.
I don't know.
I didn't say it was magical.
I just said you had dry mouth.
Okay.
If I had wet mouth, would the fixed speed to smoke pot a lot?
Pardon?
Actually, that could help.
Yeah.
If you smoke a lot of weed, it would dry your mouth out, right?
No, but see, the thing about all those side effects that you think of for marijuana is
if you smoke it once, you get those. If you smoke it
again, you'll get those.
If you smoke it three or four times a week
for a year or three months
or something, I don't get any of that shit.
I don't get munchies or dry mouth.
It doesn't make me necessarily
sleepy or red eyes or anything.
It's just, oh, I feel really relaxed now
and chilled out.
It doesn't make you fall asleep?
No, not it in particular.
I keep my sleep schedule kind of, it rotates, but it only rotates.
It doesn't like move drastically.
It's just always shifting sort of forward by an hour, which isn't as crazy as it sounds.
It can be ridiculously off normal, off it's not like you're
getting one hour one day in 12 hours yeah i get my eight or i get like 10 hours a day almost every
single day because i probably told you this before but i read about that guy who set some sort of
strength record and during the preparation he was sleeping like 18 hours a day or something
retarded like he was he would like would work out and get his macros in
and then go into a coma or something
to recover from the intense workouts.
He's like, yep, now we're going to sleep
for three hours. We're going to let that food just absorb
into the muscles while I go into an induced coma.
Then he wakes up and works out and eats some more.
I don't know what he was actually doing, but he was sleeping
a ton. Something in my head said
more sleep is more recovery
or better
recovery.
Right.
Like,
I don't know if you're trying to do something over the course of like,
if you're just doing a sprint thing,
if you're doing a six week,
like bootcamp thing,
like shit like that doesn't matter.
But if you're doing like a thing that takes a year,
like the whole process takes a year,
then like if you can squeeze out those little bitty percentages every day,
then in the end,
the differences are massive.
I, uh, pot's a waste of money for me. I always go to sleep. Yeah. those little bitty percentages every day then in the end the differences are massive i uh
pot's a waste of money for me yeah oh yeah eight or whatever it would be like it
i don't know you do it 45 minutes later i'm asleep i'm like i didn't even get high yeah well i mean
shit at least you know that like you've got a very good sleep aid very cheap and readily available
and all that no joke
there like here's the state that i get in every once in a while it's like tomorrow's a big day
tomorrow's a big day and it starts at 7 a.m and it's already midnight i need to sleep now i need
to sleep right now so that i can get seven hours which is okay it's not perfect but it's it's not perfect, but it's at least acceptable. I am in a hurry to sleep, which keeps me awake.
I'm trying to sleep as fast as I can,
which is like the opposite of how you sleep, perhaps.
But pot will get you there for me.
It does help me get sleepy.
Yeah.
I like the THCO.
Never tried it.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, it's just stronger.
It's much stronger to me than the Delta 8 was.
Or any of the other, like, things are.
I'm not going to take the time to learn what all of them are or any chemistry.
Kyle.
Because I think it's nonsense.
I get the, if I'm reading the room, THCO is better than pot.
I don't know about that. Because, like, with um i don't know about that because like with i don't know it's it's like with the thco i can only get so high but with pot it's like sky's the limit the
sky can be the limit if you just keep going and uh and so it's almost nicer than pot and because
i don't want to get uncomfortably high often.
But occasionally you do.
Like I watched Tenet last night.
I wanted to be uncomfortably high for that.
So I like a bunch of gummies two hours before.
And then I smoked the THC.
Oh, like vape pens for my cannabis.
Everybody makes fun of from my gas station.
And I was just
man i watched that whole movie and i think i understood most of it and i think that that is
more than most could say i haven't seen that one holy shit really and it's complicated is it
compared to prime i think it's more complicated and for a very similar reason i'm not going to
spoil this movie for you but i'll describe it like this more complicated and for a very similar reason. I'm not going to spoil this movie for you, but I'll describe it like this.
More complicated than Prime?
So this movie is a Christopher Nolan movie.
I didn't realize you guys hadn't watched it.
I thought I was the last one.
So this is a Christopher Nolan movie that got delayed and delayed and delayed.
If you like Christopher Nolan movies like Batman, Interstellar, and stuff like that,
you're going to like this.
You have to watch it with subtitles because he's bad at audio mixing for whatever reason.
Oh, God, I hate that about that guy.
Every movie.
The main character of this is I think the guy's like, it's like the guy's name is something Washington.
It's this black guy.
Denzel.
John David.
John David Washington.
He is like he is Denzel 2.0.
I'm reading it.
.5.
Like this guy is awesome.
He has great physicality. He's good
looking. He's a very
good actor.
In this, he is a bit of a mystery
character. It is very hard to wrap
your head around. Once you're done with the
movie, you're definitely going to want
to watch at least one or two
explaining videos. I've watched a bunch of
them since last night.
I understand the whole thing,
but I would struggle to explain it
with any intricacy.
If you're going to watch it, I will
say this. Pay attention to the colors
red and the colors blue.
Those are very important. I think if you
go in with that in mind, like keeping an eye
out for red and blue, you'll
grasp on more quickly.
I was... It's a long movie two and a half two and a half hours yeah
it's like a lord of the i was two hours and 10 minutes into it and there was a scene that was
happening and i was just like what the fuck is happening right now what the fuck is happening
right now i'm literally staring at the screen i'm like this is incredible i got i can't let my confusion pull me out of this moment
but i have no idea what's happening right now um and i i needed a a youtuber to do a 3d
uh model representation to show me what was happening um in a timeline format with like
arrows and diagrams for me to like fully wrap my head around everything
because there's so much going on um within it sounds like fun so it's like a like a thriller
it is a spy thriller this is but i have right after this i watched james bond the new one i
wanted to do this to like watch them back to back i've been waiting until they were both like cheap
enough to rent for four dollars because you know it's like 25 buy it as your only option because i
don't have i haven't stolen i'm not buying a movie yeah i'm not buying it um because you don't even buy
it you buy access to it that can expire when that company expires in any case i watched them back to
back james bond was bad i thought i thought it was like like i don't know one one thumb up one
thumb down it was daniel craig like 50 um this is his last James Bond. And it was also like two and a half hours long.
I thought Tenet was a better James Bond movie than James Bond was.
While mixing in some wackadoo crazy sci-fi elements that are ground.
I like when sci-fi doesn't require like magic ooze to work.
You know, like in Star Trek, it's like, yeah, we got war power.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.'t worry about it yeah we transport people and this there's just like this one thing that like works
in a very particular kind of way and it's like we got to stop this one thing and it doesn't it kind
of blows your mind but at the same time it's very simplistic kind of like Primer was so when you go
when you were watching it and then when you watch the review was it a feeling of like they can't
expect people to pick that up that's not even a clue or was it a feeling of like they can't expect people
to pick that up that's not even a clue or was it more like oh this is well constructed or because
primer i get that feel too there aren't um there will be explainer videos videos on primer and
they'll be like you need to look out for this right here and it's like that's not a clue this
is like a that doesn't even help yeah like that's not helpful and
no um so it's christopher nolan and he does a really good job at this i mean if you've seen um
what's the leo movie where uh inception you know you know how wild inception was you know like he's
good so um i heard two different reviewers say that there were no plot holes because these guys
have both went through this diagram to understand the movie to such an effect
and then they've dealt with youtube audiences as well who would be like hey what about this what
about that and he goes through he's like actually this that and the other oh you thought this well
go back to here where he said that it's like oh you're dealing with professional here this guy
this guy's been watching this movie all weekend a youtube comment section would have unearthed it
to prove him wrong if it existed and he was able to defend all the plot holes.
So not only is it like this.
I'm not going to spoil it anymore.
It's a real good movie.
It'll blow your mind.
You'll be confused at times.
And you'll want to watch the video that explains it after.
As odd as that sounds, I think most people would hate that idea.
Like, wait, I'm going to need instructions afterwards.
Yeah, but you'll like it.
Yeah, I'm going to give this a go. I scrolled past it. I mean, I didn going to need instructions afterwards. Yeah, but you'll like it. Yeah, I'm going to give this a go.
I scrolled past it.
I mean, I didn't want to buy it, but this will be fun.
I turned away from two hours and 30 minutes.
I don't want to spoil the scene, but there's a good fight scene with your protagonist there.
And I liked it a lot.
Yeah, he goes by that in the show. your protagonist there. And I liked it a lot. Yeah.
He goes by that in the show. He's like,
I'm the protagonist in this story.
Is Robert Pattinson the bad guy?
I'm not going to spoil anything.
Don't even tell me.
I'm sure there's an accident and get the wrong answer.
Better James Bond than James Bond.
Although I did think the new James Bond was passable.
Can I change the topic yeah please when you chew a gummy are you supposed to
really pulverize it doesn't matter nothing does it accept does it impact how quickly you get high
it's gonna melt as soon as it gets your belly okay throw one of those in warm water and it
turns to like goo almost instantly yeah or just eat it no i'm just saying for example like like oh what's happening after
you swallow it is what i follow i didn't get it at first either i'm like well i guess if you like
gooey water i have my edibles but they're so easy to take like introducing diluted nasty water introducing weed water gummy water
the septum piercing and dreadlocks in colorado telling you how great it is
no i wasn't suggesting that i was just saying that like gummies digest so fast it's not gonna
matter um oh yeah i don't know by the time we start the hangout yeah when did you take them
uh during this oh shit okay yeah so yeah i would never do
such a thing i'm just puffing away on my my uh vape pen over here i'm trying i'm trying to think
there was another thing i what did i say before oh ukraine so um oh we were talking last night
what's going on so i guess that that Russia declared that a few territories in
sovereign Ukraine
aren't sovereign Ukraine anymore.
He was like, ah, this, that, and the other, y'all are with us now.
You wanted to come anyway, so they just...
And he's gone ahead and he's sent his own
peacekeepers in to make sure there's no trouble.
Peacekeepers. Oh, thank goodness.
So he has essentially
invaded these...
Essentially, he's invaded these areas.
And so last night they imposed sanctions on those areas.
And Woody was like, this is bullshit.
And I agree with you.
I was the one leading the charge that this is bullshit.
What's Biden doing here?
And Woody was like, yeah, he's not even putting sanctions on Russia as a whole.
He's just doing those areas.
Well, today they came down on Russia as a whole. He's just doing those areas. Well, the day they came up, Dave down on Russia as a whole, I guess they,
they targeted two main financial institutions that handle like 80 billion to
80 trillion.
I don't know.
Enormous amount of money,
$800 billion or something like that.
It's,
it's Russia's military bank.
And then one other.
So it affects like,
I pretty sure it literally affects like them being able to pay their troops.
Like, like perhaps it's, it's, we're not doing any transactions. The West isn't, I'm pretty sure it literally affects them being able to pay their troops.
Perhaps we're not doing any transactions, the West isn't, that is, with those banks anymore.
And I think they also targeted, I don't know, I wrote it in the message, but something else financial.
Oh, they cut off a bunch of the diplomatic privileges as well. I used to wonder, what does America get when we, say, put all these troops in Germany? What do we get?
What value is there for us to support all these other
countries? Stuff like that. Germany, France, etc. This looks
like an example of it. Germany instantly is like that
Nord pipeline that we're going to have, which was going to make it really easy for Russia to sell
oil to Europe.
That project is done. Just end it.
Forget it. What we were going to do,
I'm breaking up with you. Don't even
call me.
Are they building a new pipeline then?
It's been going for a while.
That project is canceled.
Sanctioning someone
is a big deal, but America
and all our friends sanctioning someone is an even bigger deal.
Now, a few days ago, Russia partnered with China.
And by the way, you might think, well, they're both communists.
Of course they did.
No, no.
When Russia invaded Crimea, China denounced it.
They were like, you guys suck.
We don't want anything to do with you.
Historically, China was never Russia's friend until a few days ago where they're like i can't imagine russia doing anything wrong we support
them and whatever they're about to do so they're basically similar their own similar issues right
china has similar issues in the in in the sea down there um taiwan and and many disputed islands and
and there is yeah yeah you know every inch of that seems seemingly disputed to one degree
or another. We're going to try and steal Japan
one of these days.
Take it.
Japan's hard to
rape.
They tend to do the rape. What?
I don't know.
Somehow, this is where my mind went on that.
They were like, Woody, you're going to get abducted and raped
in Mexico. And I'm like, I feel like I'm the biggest guy I see.
It's going to be a gang rape.
You're riding your bike through the Netherlands.
And it's like, oh, looky, looky here.
The little five-a-lifing American comes out to play.
Sven, look at the guy.
Let's rape him, yeah?
We're pretty progressive here. We don't even
think it's gay and bad.
It's actually you, American,
who's about to be raped, who's going to
internalize the shame of being molested
by a man. We've all had it done.
No, not even here.
Take your pants
off and get off the bike so uh yeah you want to take
over japan the dude they're not an easy target go pick taiwan i i saw a clip the other day and it
was um i guess it was some sort it was their congress or something and i guess like it's
seemingly the guy was about to sign something that would propose that they would be able to do preemptive war, you know, because since World War Two, they haven't been able to Japan.
And like the guy who was trying to put forward that idea and like a mob of other like senators or whatever representatives, had him. It was like they had found
a pack of baboons had found
some other kind of
small simian who had
infiltrated their midst, and they were all
just like, and they just had
him, and they were dragging him out of there, and the
look on his face was just like, I didn't know you really
meant to drag, oh no!
I didn't follow, so this was a Japanese
senator with other
japanese people doing it this is an american that's what the that's what the like the uh the
the title of the gif i was watching said yeah like i think that like so currently they they can't
start preemptive wars like they don't want to and they don't want to although the military
i can't speak to that um but but I think they do have a military. Um,
and,
uh,
yeah,
when I was a kid,
they had hardly any military.
They weren't allowed to even like,
it was part of like,
they kind of detooth them.
There's a word for that.
Maybe defang.
Or,
but,
um,
they kind of defang Japan and said,
you can't build an army that does this or that.
And,
um,
I,
I don't have any proof of this i just feel like
those rules have slacked you know it should slack i mean like right it's been multiple human
lifetimes like none of the same people are around like yeah japan seems that they're well behaved
they're all they're doing is beating off to weird porn. 80 years, right? Yeah, 80 years.
Like, everyone involved in that died many years ago.
Like, they were an adult 80 years ago.
Right.
I think there's still a couple left.
Yeah, but it'll be like, this guy was, you know,
I was serving ice creams next to the base.
I mean, the people they'll bring up now
are like literal propaganda stories where they'll like bring up now they're like literal propaganda
stories where they'll be like little stevie johnson snuck aboard this boat and went to europe
to fight the nazis he was a mere six and it's like it's like yeah i can't question it
it's a war propaganda story. Or like those Russian stories that'd be like, this is
confirmed female sniper with
nine billion
kill. And it's like,
no, there wasn't.
That was a propaganda thing.
Back in the day, you'd think a female
sniper might be
good cover.
What do you mean? I just feel like
so one ability would be if you could like just
pretend the cops are chasing you kyle if you run from the cops they're like that's the guy we're
chasing but if you just blend in with the crowd you might get away a female sniper might have a
similar thing like what a sniper no i'm a girl i'm a girl i just love this crow's nest
just take off your little sniper outfit what are you doing in this region of poland ma'am you
clearly have a eastern ukrainian accent what's that rifle doing there and then there's dogs
with your name on them all right why are you in the rest of these army men you gotta call her
red-handed in that situation but But you get what I'm saying.
It's a good cover.
Why did you shoot me?
Put that gun down.
I'm starting to think you're a sniper.
I'm just a girl at five.
I'm going to misfire.
One more misfire and we're going to...
We forgot about this. the ultimate one more misfire and we're going to Jason
surprise
we forget about this
oh
I know
he's making a mess
stern
gun safety cord
if you
misfire
but once more
I mean like
if I were
a sniper
in a tower
in Stalingrad
like
cause they weren't
confirming kills
like you think a sniper in Stalingrad they're, because they weren't confirming kills. Like, you think a sniper
in Stalingrad, they're being sieged?
Boom. Yes. Let me run down there
real quick. I'm going to sprint over there, check the tech.
You, I come down from that tower.
If nobody's keeping an eye on me, I am
making baffling claims.
Like, thousands
killed, hundreds killed. I'm like, I'm
throwing caches
of ammo off the tower so i can claim
i fired them all and then i took them down i'll still in this casing no there's a booby trap
i couldn't use those ones it's like uh yeah i just guesstimate anyway i know we have a hangout
so we should wrap yeah all right it was a good show i thought pkn 392