Painkiller Already - PKN 398

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 pkn 398 is that the right number it's close it there are no wrong numbers there are only wrong times uh it's right i'm wrong okay we know okay so kyle we were cooking yes we were having a discussion where i said first all, we were talking about petroleum jelly and how like Vaseline Kyle was like, yeah, Vaseline was dope in 1917, but we figured out like 10 different options for everything it can do. Like what's the point of putting Vaseline on a cut if you've got Neosporin there? Nothing. So Neosporin is just a better version of that. Or on your lips if you have a chapstick or something. Exactly. Something like that. Or on your lips if you have a chapstick or exactly something like that or on your dick if you've got any number of sexual loops you could probably use vaseline for that but vaseline is very goopy you wouldn't want to fuck with it remember like the joke being like
Starting point is 00:00:54 oh vaseline what are you gonna beat off have you ever tried beating off with vaseline it's terrible less than 300 times so it's awful it's terrible no I haven't tried it. Have you actually tried it? I'm sorry, Colin. I think it's more popular in the black community. And I get this from mostly all, like from movies and film. Like I often see them like, oh, yeah, he's got the vast. I feel like maybe the same way black people have different hair treatment, they've also got different like dick treatments.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Like maybe the African-American penis is a more sturdy implement. I don't know. Maybe they need that thick viscous lubricant. I prefer a thinner lubricant myself. It's a budgetary issue, right? Like a little
Starting point is 00:01:39 wet platinum might go a long way for us, whereas they need gallons a lot of gallons of it right you know that when you're when your junk is massive you need uh you need a budget or okay so what you're saying is like like the amount of like wet platinum that a black man would need for a single masturbatory session break the budget like it breaks your budget in half like you know a white man uses a think of how much money we could save if we just didn't circumcise
Starting point is 00:02:11 kids then they got foreskin you don't need anything to jack off oh i think like again as a as a circumcised man you know a non-savage i i like to with my soul saved, Don't worry, Lord, the pact between Abraham and you continues. Dude, you're covered in three religions. Oh, yeah, all around. All my bases. All the big ones, all the hits. It's not like the Hindus are like four dirty dicks anyway. They just don't care.
Starting point is 00:02:39 But I would imagine that if you get some lubricant down into that foreskin, you really are hitting on all cylinders then. Oh that foreskin it's the you really are like like hitting on all cylinders then oh yeah it's got to be as smooth as can be like i didn't get it all out because wet platinum like you ever get some of that in your belly button or like like like down your like balls and ass crack gooch like anywhere it gets in the bottom of your shower that's a death trap for a week the bottom of the shower is the most dangerous place for it because it rinses off all the excess off your dick or wherever else it got through actually the more i think about it i'm liking it more because one of my concerns about a foreskin is it wouldn't be um like lubed up enough to like slide back and forth
Starting point is 00:03:13 uh comfortably that's another thing that you never hear those uncut guys talk about is like i've noticed from pornography that like and this is just among people who are brave enough to like put their dicks on film so like this may be a skewed where is he going with this so many of their dicks don't fucking work so many of their dicks don't fucking work the foreskin doesn't want to come back over the head of their penis and like it's supposed to so they've got like this thing that like it's like oh so we just always see half of the head of your penis that's gotta feel the ridge doesn't come out like it doesn't go over the frenulum or whatever the fuck i wonder penis that's gotta feel the ridge doesn't come out like it doesn't go
Starting point is 00:03:45 over the frenulum or whatever the fuck i wonder if that's a permanent condition it is surgery to correct it it's a well-known thing i used to get a lot of messages about that from me on monday people would write me and say that they had this it was new to me because i'm circumcised and uh like i would google it and do my best to answer it but i wonder if throughout life if it doesn't stretch it doesn't so it's you say it doesn't but all other skin does if i i could put that uh african lip stretching thing in your bottom lip and before long you'd have a dinner plate counterpoint i could do it to your earlobes. How long do your erections last? As long as he wants them to last, baby. Let's say you're super manly.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Let's be honest. Let's say on average you are hard an hour every day. That's a pretty significant amount of time if you are a wreck. It's a light day, yes. That's not long enough to stretch skin. Skin gets stretched by being stretched all
Starting point is 00:04:46 day every day they put those pucks in their mouth they're not popping them in for an hour and then going about their day they're not gauging ears for an hour a day all your people fat people aren't fat for an hour a day you're like that all day and that's what's allowing skin to like adjust and stretch like that i'm not buying it it's's an effective... And also the fact that I'm seeing adult men whose penises still don't work because they didn't get them fixed at birth like the rest of us do. Well, those are fucked up foreskins.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Yes, they are. A condition that a cut man is just incapable of having. You don't have underarm B.O. if you chop your arm off. Kyle's reading me over on this. I wonder if the real reason that foreskins got cut more often is how many guys were like, dude, I wish I didn't have this problem. It's so painful all the time.
Starting point is 00:05:33 You should trim it like a haircut. I don't want my son to run into the issues that I have had throughout life, so I'm going to circumcise him right now. Also, they would have been smelly and disgusting all the time back then. Yeah, but no worse than your ass. Everything's terrible if you go back 50 years. It would be a different kind of stink,
Starting point is 00:05:54 I think. I don't want to talk about dicks. Why aren't we talking about dicks? That's all I talk about. If you're going to be talking with me, dicks are going to come up, so to speak. Whoa of dick talk here um i was trying to talk about about the the what were we talking about we started with vaseline vaseline this is more fun than the vaseline angle though how about this for a topic change i was
Starting point is 00:06:25 thinking about this like like so people get some people get upset when like a traditionally white character is recast and they put a black character a brown character or like if not necessarily the character is traditionally white but maybe historically that role or that figure just would have been white like a show about't matter. England or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was thinking. Or even if it was like Pete.
Starting point is 00:06:48 That's a terrible example. No, Peter Pan's usually played by a girl, right? That's a stage thing. I think it's, it's, he's a boy. Yeah. Well, shit, make it anybody else. I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:59 I was just thinking like, like, like one thing I've noticed that, that, that politicians do right these days is whenever there's one of these like far reaching bills or something, they find a way to like, oh, you like it like that? Yeah, that's our bill. You like it like that? Yeah, that's in our bill. So you like that thing in your bill? Yeah. All right. So can't with the don't say gay thing. Right. The left is saying, oh, well, then no one should be referred. If we can't give any instruction to these children about sexual orientation or blah, blah, blah, then we can no longer use Mr. And Mrs. Because that is normalizing a certain structure and that is in its its own way instruction so i will be known as like you know where can the third your instructor now uh genderless like grand wizard a formless energy that that you know that that that is in the middle of the room providing
Starting point is 00:07:58 education you know that's why they all turn this to mr mr because i know for he she it could be oh it was like it's mx mix how do you pronounce that do you know i'veShe, it could be... Oh, it was like MX. How do you pronounce that? Do you know? I've only read it because I've never met a crazy person. Yeah, that is... I mean, we all know how difficult and harmful easily categorized things are for children. But what I'm getting at, don't get away from the point. Don't let me get away from my core issue here,
Starting point is 00:08:21 is that this sort of malicious compliance, as it were, could be used for this sort of malicious compliance, as it were, could be used for this sort of issue with casting choices. So I was thinking like maybe the next time we do like a Hitler thing or a Nazi thing, Hitler's African-American and like a good one third of the stormtroopers are brown and women, lots of women women lots of women stormtroopers who are like mercilessly killing the jews like like really hard like like like this is an edgy star wars who said star wars this yeah i was on star wars too how did you get there you got stormtroopers yeah you did the nazis had stormtroopers that's what they were well so did the empire so it wasn't a crazy
Starting point is 00:09:06 thought we're not making a fucking disney film wait this is like schindler's list killing jews i literally my mind went straight to guy in the white suit fake chest built into it well shit that wasn't my intention i'm like stormtroopers being like what's uh what's a good apr raid on a credit card he had a a great answer. We're taking him in. I just want to make Nazis black again. That's my goal. Wait, they weren't.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Who's to say? I looked at the pronunciation of MX. It's easy once you know it. It's pronounced like M-I-X. It's Mix. So you'd be Mix Myers. Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's my slave name you'd be Mix Myers. Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's my slave name, I'll have you know. Dude, that's...
Starting point is 00:09:49 I'm Mix Freemix. Because I can't be Freeman. You guys are against it. I actually don't care. Tell me what your name is, and I'll use it. Tell me what your pronoun is, and I will do my level best. Sometimes I foul that up. But yeah, if you were like, look, I go by... I don't know if your last name is Public Taylor,
Starting point is 00:10:08 but if you're like, you know, Mr. Mills, but I prefer Mix Mills, then I would just say that. You know, like whatever. Whatever you want your name to be, you tell me, and I'll get it. If you say you don't go by he, I might fuck it up now and then because you really look like a he to me, but I will do my best. What if they report you to HR the first time you make a mistake and you're on probation now that would suck but it doesn't line up with my experience at all I've you know the show has
Starting point is 00:10:37 a bunch of fans who are trans and absolutely I've had no issue with trans people I've only ever had issues with it with that sort of thing with women it was never an issue like like guys would always take a joke um regardless of their race like you could make a racial joke because they were like i'm talking about when i sold cars and worked with like a really diverse group of people and that um you know there was a gay guy there let me get um but the only person who ever and it was the person that we tiptoed around it was the woman it was katrina like we didn't make jokes with katrina to avoid anything but she still reported us to hr not me in particular just like that she felt uncomfortable in her work environment and i promise you i had never had any interaction with this 40 year old skinny black lady that was anything but professional
Starting point is 00:11:20 i don't think anyone had but she still complained and she still got paid off did she ever complain about you no no okay yeah i've never been pulled to hr for social issues like that yeah it was more yeah it was more of a thing where she went to corporate about the whole dealership's work environment as it were and it was just the opposite like everybody was cool with her like like if it was raining like someone would volunteer to like go get the car that she needed to show to a customer and bring it up there for like if anything like the red carpet was pulled out it was it was real shitty the only issue i've ever seen but but like as far as like gay people or like like somebody who was like mexican who didn't like a fucking mexican joke or white who didn't like a white joke there was only two or three of like white people that i ever
Starting point is 00:11:59 worked with total out of 30 employees it was like white people were the minority by and they were eastern europeans too yeah and they were eastern europe minority by far. And they were Eastern Europeans too. Yeah, and they were Eastern Europeans. It's not like they were my homies. Like if anybody's out there who's listening, like you're a black guy who's ever worked with an African African, y'all aren't exactly homies.
Starting point is 00:12:15 And like my friend Austin from Nigeria, like he said some things that I would never say about an African American. About an American African-American. An American African-American. About a black American is what he's saying. He's just an African. He's got a work visa.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Okay, okay, okay. I stand corrected. He's just an African. Dude, I wonder if they all look like that. He looked like he could slip right into the UFC at light heavyweight. Like, dude's heavyweight. Light heavyweight. like dudes this dude looks so ripped in like a button-up shirt like like like biceps in a button-up shirt like that's a big guy looking jacked in a in a button-up yes yeah button-ups disguise any progress i've made no look fucking terrifying in a button-up. Have you seen the way bodybuilders look in suits?
Starting point is 00:13:06 Mm-hmm. It's insane. Their chest is like 70. So Taylor's looking jacked right now. I can look okay if I wear a shirt that's too small. I look like a guy who lifts if I look like a guy who doesn't know how to shop. I combine those. We were doing a PKA hangout. it cracked me up because i have one shirt
Starting point is 00:13:26 in particular that makes me look horrible it's the color of dishwater it has a big print on the front which isn't my thing and it fits so loose and tear it you think but uh a pka hangout member cracked me up he said the perfect thing he's like, in seconds, that shirt has undone all the gains you've made in the last two years. I'm like, yes! Yeah, it looks awful. That is disheartening. You go in your closet every so often, and you grab a free t-shirt that you got from an event. It was free.
Starting point is 00:13:58 And you put it on, and you look at yourself. This is the worst I've ever looked at in my entire life. I know that brand you're wearing. I have it. I might be wearing it's like, this is the worst I've ever looked at in my entire life. I have it. I might be wearing it. It's on Amazon. Is it a B? It says AM, I think. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:16 You might like it too, Kyle. It's a comfortable shirt, but most importantly, it fits in a way that makes you look good. You're going to go bigger in size than you think so i think it's more european-y because i had to get double xl it's not me i just go tighter is that college shirt no dude like i i like i'll put on a like a shirt that that fit me two years ago and like just look in the mirror for motivation to lose weight and like i genuinely like when i look to the side
Starting point is 00:14:51 my stomach like i look like fucking ned from game of thrones is about to walk into my shop and order a sword like that's what i feel like i'm like God, this is just the gut of a fucking blacksmith in Lord of the Rings times. I've been hard on the cut lately. So I took about two and a half weeks off from lifting to PT, a shoulder that was bugging me, physical therapy. Listeners don't know PT. And I was really good about it. I probably hit the PT average like five days a week. Like, I wasn't fucking around.
Starting point is 00:15:22 I probably hit the PT average like five days a week. Like I wasn't fucking around, but, um, uh, when I don't exercise, it somehow ties into not eating as tight as I would. Like my motivation from eating seems to come from hitting the gym and stuff like,
Starting point is 00:15:37 and, uh, I don't know how much weight I gained, but not a ton ton, like four pounds, but it's like, this stops here. And I'm, uh uh i'm back in the
Starting point is 00:15:46 gym no father yeah like as you like physically destroy boxes of oreos and cookies oh i'm not eating oreos i did have some trail mix though i did trail mix no i'm on my last giant container of goldfish and I'm not having any more after this for a while. Until Thursday. Until maybe, well, okay, I've got half of a 64-ounce container. So that's three days if I kind of ration a little bit later. Taylor, exercise idea. A diet, this is really, you should finish the container in one sitting so you can start your diet.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I have done that with so many foods over the years. This past weekend, I've been doing very good with eating the last five weeks or so. And just out of nowhere, my wife, she was coming home from hanging out with some friends. I was just at home. She was like, I want pizza bad tonight. And like I had in my mind that day, I'm like, you're doing so good. You're killing it. Like I'm in the middle of my workout and I get that text.
Starting point is 00:16:54 We should get pizza tonight. And immediately, like, I'm getting excited about, like, what kind of pizza am I going to get? And like that night. Well, yes, Kyle, I a heart at least an hour a day 45 minutes alone was waiting for dominoes to deliver yeah so i ordered some some pizza and big old giant one thin crust so i could rationalize it and i like higher topping to crust ratio anyway and like it got towards the end of the night my wife's asleep there's like
Starting point is 00:17:24 maybe five six pieces of pizza left not it's not slices it's end of the night my wife's asleep there's like maybe five six pieces of pizza left not it's not slices it's like in the squares so it's not nearly as much pizza as i make it sound and like there's not a lot left and i wasn't hungry i was already not feeling good but i was like well now now just like get it all in because you ate so much pizza yeah and i was like just get it all in and you won't warm this up tomorrow. And so I forced the rest of the pizza down. I woke up in the middle of the night like, oh, why do I feel so bad? It's from all the cheese I ate.
Starting point is 00:17:55 What I do if we do something like that, like some recipes, like you don't know what you're getting, especially if you're making something new. If I make a risotto and I end up with like serving for eight i throw it away i throw it away if this is like a spent if this isn't like something that goes into my meal plan taylor back me up he's not going to heaven now right you can't wait like that yeah i i throw it the fuck away throw that shit away like and i've thought about that before i've had that thought like oh it's wasteful if i throw it in the trash it's like it's wasteful if you eat it
Starting point is 00:18:25 dummy that's cardio like fuck that that's electricity that'll have to get burned in the long run some coal got burned that's co2 what would greta sternberg want me to do right now and i throw that food right in the garbage i've been walking a lot i always put chemicals on it though so the homeless can't get out of it poor bleep that's that's yeah it wasn't cruel enough to just throw it away sigma male behavior can someone lay out sigma male i don't feel like i know this term i know it's a meme to mean like the new alpha male but that's as far as i've looked into it's okay kyle you might even know more oh no i i i'm i'm uh i'm just parroting it the same way i do uh things like getting goaded with a sauce man i'm just i'm just being silly yep that's how i do memes now too
Starting point is 00:19:10 just try to figure it out a sigma male is a man with a socio-sexual hierarchy who chooses to and it disappeared who chooses to live his life outside of normal social dominance hierarchy structures of society okay so like someone who would shake a bathroom stall door. Like, like, like, is this someone who, cause you read it once more.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Live his life outside the normal social dominance of hierarchy. Oh, it moved hierarchy structures of society. Sigma and alpha males are equal and share many common characteristics. They're both confident in their life choices and aim high the main difference lies in their attitude sigmas choose to sit outside the hierarchy while alphas prefer to be on top of it okay i feel like all this stuff is made up by losers i don't yeah i don't care anymore um i watched a really good fucking movie last night remember i've probably mentioned it before. There was that whole list of movies that I was putting off
Starting point is 00:20:06 until I could smoke weed again. Some of them fell through the cracks when I went on my little weed trip to Colorado, and they didn't get watched. And one of them was Annihilation with Natalie Portman. I just remember seeing the previews for that whenever it came out. It's probably four or five years ago now. And thinking, ooh, that looks really good. There's no way I can watch that sober.
Starting point is 00:20:29 And at the time, I was super bummed out i probably hadn't been uh i probably just been arrested recently or something like that i was like this is going on the back burner one day i'll watch this well um i got it was yesterday that day was last night yeah i i uh i didn't smoke for like um like several days to like take a little tolerance break. I can't approve, Kyle. I got real good and high and then watched this movie with Natalie Portman. I came away with it thinking that it might be one of the best
Starting point is 00:20:55 badass girl flicks I've ever seen. There are very few good chick flicks where they're like badass girls, where girls get it done. The best is Alien, Sigourney Weaver.
Starting point is 00:21:12 All these dumbasses won't listen to her. She's the one who has to take control. She's the one who's clear-headed, brave, everything you want. You're like hero. I take a guess. You're also gonna like terminator that was gonna make your list terminator 2 uh more than terminator 1 but
Starting point is 00:21:31 overlook hunger games i would never even talk about that garbage movie i mean when the star of the movie had to suck so much dick just to portray a character who doesn't spill blood for three fucking movies i'm good wait she doesn't kill anyone for she's not she she is the worst kind of chick movie there she she's like everybody comes everybody white night my pussy here i am i've got one skill that doesn't really translate but i'm hot as fuck come on cuck boys like like i know there's two of you and i treat one of you like garbage but get over here and do my bidding bitches say give your life for me in the revolution no everyone give your life for my pussy in the revolution that's the worst kind of chick i need to re-watch it i don't remember
Starting point is 00:22:15 i remember her being so what i liked jennifer lawrence as an actress i don't know if still but definitely like when she was doing that, was athletic. I'm very sensitive to skinny models who aren't actually athletes moving like non-athletes. There are pretty girls who look good on Vogue magazine who, if they jumped off a kitchen chair, could barely handle it. I don't like them being action stars. But Jennifer Lawrence, I do like it. I think she's worthy of she runs like someone who's ran before i feel like she could tackle another girl and probably win that
Starting point is 00:22:50 encounter no that stuff matters to me too much i do not like it when it goes too far the the wrong way but it's not like a prerequisite they didn't try to make her strong but they just made her really good at shooting bows and arrows which was was relevant. I thought she used that skill to stay alive. I mean, before, like, like I don't, did she shoot anybody with the bow other than at the end of the third
Starting point is 00:23:12 movie? She shot the main guy. I haven't seen more than the first, but that is unbelievable. If she literally killed Donald Sutherland at the very, very end or something, or maybe not even Donald Sutherland. Maybe she shot like the other bitch.
Starting point is 00:23:24 She shot. Um, I can't think of the actress's name right julia something it doesn't fucking matter she i think she killed one person how did she even win the competition i just told you the cuck boys yeah but she would have to kill them at the end to win no no she convinced the last boy to kill himself. What? They've had a suicide. She's like, yeah, eat the poison berries with me. Then they'll have to save us.
Starting point is 00:23:50 And he's like, yes, ma'am. It's the worst kind of chick flick. She did kill a guy during the Hunger Games. It was the person who killed Rue. The person speared Rue, rue what a cute little black girl and she if she didn't kill 15 people then i don't want to hear it you know what i mean like like sigourney weaver clears planets full of aliens she sets off thermonuclear detonations and flies away like not looking at explosions and then i derailed you from uh annihilation is awesome so the other one i was going to say is um um what's the one where the the four or five girls go
Starting point is 00:24:29 spelunking it's uh the descent that's that is my second favorite like badass chick flick this one's right up there because natalie portman um so i'm not going to spoil the movie but i'm going to like kind of give you enough of a taste that you'll want to watch it maybe um natalie portman's character did seven years in the army and then she got out and like got some sort of biology degree at john hopkins that's her character she's pretty buffed up already right um she's got like stats and like strength and uh and uh intelligence at the same time or whatever but then her and her she thinks her husband's dead he's military as as well. He goes on these black op missions, been gone for six months. She's declared him dead. He shows up not way out of it.
Starting point is 00:25:10 He doesn't remember much of anything. He's almost completely amnesiatic. Then he goes into like full-blown shock, coughing up blood, got to go to the ER. And the military grabs them both and takes them back to where he had come from. And it's a research station several hundred yards outside of something called the Shimmer.
Starting point is 00:25:29 The Shimmer began several years prior when an object struck the Earth somewhere in America. It doesn't really matter. It's just the middle of nowhere, like Everglades, whatever. This bubble of shimmery energy has been slowly expanding from where it, from where the meteor or whatever struck every day, like maybe an inch or two, you know, like, like,
Starting point is 00:25:50 but it, but steadily for years now, and it's becoming a problem. And every team they've ever sent in, no one has ever come out. And, uh, this until her husband,
Starting point is 00:25:59 he came out, now he's all fucked up. And a new team is about to go in composed of all women. And they're like, well, how are you sending all women? He's like, we've never sent a woman. It's always been teams of men. It's always been military teams. So we're sending four female
Starting point is 00:26:16 scientists this time. We're going to see if that works because no man's ever lived. We're doing a Lord of the Rings thing here. And it makes sense sense and also like the lady who runs the program she's like dying of cancer so she's like i've sent so many men to their deaths into there i'm going i'm going i'm not gonna die out here after i've sent so many i'm gonna i'm going because like this thing is gonna eat the whole world eventually like that's the thing eventually it's gonna be the whole world they think so they go in and uh it's pretty wild it's
Starting point is 00:26:48 some like crazy wacky shit going on in there and um you know some sci-fi shit's happening and there's a good bit of action and there's some monsters and there's some death and mayhem and some weird wacky gore and uh there's a mystery some whodunit some not whodunit really but you know you get to the bottom of everything by the end and there's some good cool cgi and uh and i was into it and i thought yeah good good because that was the dissents thing that they got wrong there was like six hot women in there and not even a boob i loved that that about The Descent. When I watch a horror movie, I want to be scared. I want it to be all scary. I don't care. It's supposed
Starting point is 00:27:29 to be a horror film, and they're going to piss time away on tits. Tits are free everywhere, dude. Everywhere. If you want tits, find them. Find a million pairs. I disagree. I want a little titty. Let me tell you what the titty says. The titty in a movie says we're having fun here, especially in an action movie.
Starting point is 00:27:46 I got you, bro. That's what it says. I got you, bro. I knew you wanted to see him. I know you paid $7 to watch this movie. Come on, Kyle. It's a wink at the camera. Say, hey, little titty for you, bro. I know you like that. Don't worry. We're going to kill her. She showed her titty to you. Now she must die. That's the rules.
Starting point is 00:28:02 And then they get that done. I love the titty. Why they call me the Black must die. That's the rules. And then they get that done. I love the titty. Why they call me the Black Widow. That's not why, but... I do like the titty. I see your point. If it's like showing some titties, that's okay. If they would have started having sex
Starting point is 00:28:19 in the cave, it would have taken me out of it. Well, Taylor, I'm aware that you don't like it. The only dry thing in that cave was their pussy have taken me out of it. Well, Taylor, I'm aware that you don't like that. The only driver in that cave was their pussy. Dixon, sir. All right, sir. I will call you that. That movie, The Descent, or excuse me, Annihilation that I watched last night,
Starting point is 00:28:37 the only male character that I can remember of note, the sergeant who went in and then came back out, he's actually the guy from Moon Knight, the sergeant who went in and then came back out. He's actually the guy from Moon Knight, the new Marvel TV show that I've been watching, been watching. They put out one episode and there's not any action really until like the last couple minutes of it. So I can't really. It's OK. You know, it's like a it's like it's a split personality guy. So there's one person now that's a British nerd who doesn't know anything about the other personalities. He thinks he's a sleepwalker.
Starting point is 00:29:07 That's the end of it. There's another personality who's an American guy who seems to be very much in control and aware that he has a superhero persona. And then there's the superhero persona that roughly speaking is some sort of Egyptian warrior spirit or some shit that he can become to fight, I don't know, crime and corruption, whatever the fuck he's fighting. It seemed like some sort of evil conspiracy warrior spirit or some shit that he can become to fight crime
Starting point is 00:29:25 and corruption, whatever the fuck he's fighting. It seemed like some sort of evil conspiracy in the episode, but it was okay. CGI kind of sucked. That's okay. I can get over some I'm re-watching The Boys. That's what I'm up to lately. New season soon with
Starting point is 00:29:41 Jensen Ackles, I think. I don't know if that's the the right one you know the guy's from supernatural they're adding the little one okay he's soldier boy like the curiously handsome guy they all are both of them yeah i don't even know which one's better looking from supernatural he was talking about when i can't remember what show he was on but um they added him to the show god i wish i could remember which actress it was on, but they added him to the show. God, I wish I could remember which actress it was that he hated. But the actress was like,
Starting point is 00:30:09 oh, look, they added this pretty boy to pump up the numbers. Let's get the pretty boy in the scene. He was like... She treated him like that after he was added to the show. I can't remember what the fucking show was. It doesn't matter. But yeah, they're adding him to the boys. What a bitch.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Did he win her over? I think she's... I wish I could just state that wow that's the whole i thought that i i was sure there was going to be a redemption arc in that story but no she's just bad yeah um it's a hostile work environment i wish i could remember that poor man but but no i'm into that the boys is one of the better shows on tv um i'm into it a lot uh hostile work environment have you guys made constant reference to my good looks? Man, I couldn't take it. Look at this guy. Here comes Taylor, who's not overweight. Guys, stop it.
Starting point is 00:30:59 You're embarrassing. That would be so embarrassing to have people sarcastically make fun of you. Wow. Look at him. He's so svelte. I barely noticed him booming into the room. Husky. Husky is the worst.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Yeah. Did you shop in Husky as a kid? No, but I remember there was a brand of jeans called Husky Boys or something. Yeah. I have a few pairs of Husky Boys. But in my head, I'm trying to remember if Husky Boys actually existed or if it's from King of the Hill, and that's what Bobby wore. Yeah, it is a King of the Hill joke, Husky Boys. And Bobby also doesn't understand that Husky means fat.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as a young kid. He thinks it means cool or slick or something. I didn't know like really because it's a nice word to like tell overweight kids or just bigger kids like hey we're gonna husky and it's like oh like the dog no it means strong in my mind like the pig were you chubby as a kid or just built like as a kid i wasn't chubby i was just a big kid yeah i was just like a an oddly wide child i've been watching uh master chef uh this is where
Starting point is 00:32:15 gordon ramsey judges the the amateur cooks dude people cry a lot in the auditions because they're it's they're like put their whole life on hold to like take this shot at a quarter million dollars. And and then, you know, Gordon's merciless. This blind girl auditions. I shit you not. She's fucking blind. Eyes look in different ways. And Gordon's like, were you born blind?
Starting point is 00:32:39 And she's like, no, no. It started about 10 years ago. It was an autoimmune disease i slowly lost it now now i'm completely blind as she like fumbles around for like lemons and limes and shit and um and and they eat her food and they're like it's actually perfect i'm a little worried about sending a blind person into the kitchen though i can do it chef i can do it so now she's doing it and it's so fucking pitiful that i'm crying watching fucking master because this they're making apple pies and like everybody's bringing their apple pies up but in the background i can see the little
Starting point is 00:33:18 blind girl and she's crying like a baby because she's so nervous because she doesn't know what her pie looks like. She doesn't. And nobody will fucking tell her. Those assholes. Well, it is a competition. Fair. So, no, it's not fair. They could have been like, hey, it looks fucking great.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Chill. But she's just like crying. And she finally like her helper guides, carries the pie and guides her up there. She's got a stick, too. She's got the fucking white stick. It's so pitiful. And she gets up there and she's crying openly before anybody says shit and gordon's like why are you crying and she's like i bet it looks like shit and he's and he's just like it's beautiful and that's the first time the camera shows it in that moment like and the music kicks on and like the audience
Starting point is 00:33:59 sees it for the first time and gordon describes it to her for the first time so it's like you and her getting and it's perfect it's beautiful it's crispy it's like flaky on top he's like and he describes what it looks like and sounds like for like 30 seconds and before he cuts it and then he's like he like pulls the slice up and it's important that like it doesn't fall apart that it stays to this nice like congealed slice of apple pie it's like perfect and the music goes and i was just like and like they are all eating it and like each one is like it's fucking delicious it's the best apple pie i've ever had and she's just trembling she's crying so hard do they let her use a knife jesus kyle what's your pronoun it's's fucking sad, man. And she used knives?
Starting point is 00:34:46 Yeah, dude, she's doing the whole thing. She's chopping vegetables. She, like, finds the edge of the vegetable with the knife, and then her... You can imagine. She, like, fumbles around blindly, basically. Does she make anything that looked just terrible? Not yet. So far, so good.
Starting point is 00:35:03 And Gordon, like is he pretends like oh so good gets her food's delicious but the plating is awful what what if like to like save her feelings they put her in her own competition with like a laugh track and a soundtrack and she like nobody's in the room with her. She's just cooking alone. That'd be the meanest show ever. They just put on an old season in the background. I don't know. She's fucking cute too, other than the eyes do the thing
Starting point is 00:35:34 where they're looking left and right. It would be a nice... She should go the glasses route if she's got the wonky eyes. I would get the eyes taken out if I had wonky eyes. That's terrifying get the eyes taken out if i if i had my if i had wonky eyes to get like terrifying no no i want i want this one a void in there when you look where they should be like i i think those guys who get glass eyes or pussies mine would be clear i want a glass i didn't
Starting point is 00:35:56 think that opens my gaping orbs up like like a maw that you can look deep and long into and just see blackness when When people stare too long into your eyes, they stare back into them. That's what I want. That's what I want. I want Lovecraftian horror in each eye. Like 10 grand for obsidian eyes.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Or like some sort of optical illusion thing where the longer you looked, it just felt like you were falling into them. Yeah. You wouldn't be able to see people's like reaction though yeah but you could tell me if i got what do you think of this and it's like it's horrible it's terrifying i'd mostly like i've never seen someone with two lazy obsidian eyes they're lazy still the that fucker at the clinic told me it was fine continuously point them the right way straight me out um no i'm fucking crying at fucking master
Starting point is 00:36:54 chef because this poor little blind girl is cooking for the first time and everybody's kissing her ass or whatever i'm sure she can cook well i just feel like i can't stand to look at i also don't like watching um well youppled Dogs and the Paralympics. I can't handle it. It makes me sad. It is sad. Even when it's uplifting stories, it makes me sad. There was this really big bus crash with a minor league. Or maybe it wasn't even a minor league.
Starting point is 00:37:18 It was a junior hockey team. This was three years ago. Most of the team, I think, died. It was a horrible crash and like there will be little inspiring things like here's jeff stevenson first time back on the ice since the the humboldt broncos bus crash of 18 and like the guy is on like a sled like hockey now because like he's paralyzed and it's like i'm i'm happy he survived like i'm glad he's like for him back out there survived. I'm glad for him he's back
Starting point is 00:37:46 out there playing the sport, but that's so fucking sad to me. To have your life stolen. What if he was still in his pads and he just crawled out? And he wanted to play goalie? Just let him do it, I guess. I always go here. When someone loses the use of their legs, they usually
Starting point is 00:38:03 lose the use of their dick too. But if you had to pick one, which one would you pick? Don't do the whole I'm just going to die thing. I want you to pick one for the purposes of the show. Legs are so great. So I'm keeping my dick, but the joke I was going to make is I keep my legs so I can go find a weapon to kill myself.
Starting point is 00:38:27 That's what I'd actually do. Because I'm not going to continue to live without legs or a dick. I'm just not. I don't know how women do it. Imagine being a paralyzed woman. Brutal. They don't have legs or a dick. Well, they can still fuck, though.
Starting point is 00:38:44 They're doomed from the start no they fuck way more more than they like you can't get away jesus we're all making the same joke it's so awful what was i gonna say uh oh oh if i couldn't if i needed a bag to pee in that would mean a lot to me too. I don't want that. You know what they do? I was just on Reddit and this lady was talking about she was getting her
Starting point is 00:39:11 butthole sewed up today. There's a name for that. You need your butthole open. It's called a proctonomy or some shit. I don't know. If you've got a colostomy bag now and the butthole becomes irrelevant, I guess. I was just thinking, does her husband know she's closing up shop back there like like like if if if she wasn't using it
Starting point is 00:39:31 is all i'm saying is like always clean it's kind of rude of her to make a unilateral decision like that yeah i don't i don't know it should really be the husband's decision as to whether or not that gets sewn up do you really want to fuck her in the ass, though, looking at her horrible toothpick legs limply laying on the bed? No muscle on the ass? No, she's just got a colostomy bag and a sewn-up butt. But man, what an awful
Starting point is 00:39:55 thing you just said. Yeah, Taylor, how dare you? I was getting into the scenario, guys. No, I'm just abandoning you because it's funny. I'm genuinely upset. you because it's funny. I'm sorry. I'm genuinely upset. That is the worst when we're riffing and then you're like, what about this?
Starting point is 00:40:12 And people are like, that's horrible. God damn it. Don't leave me on this island. I don't know, Hitler. Jesus Christ. Damn it. Agree and amplify, you bitch. Yeah, right. damn it agree and amplify you bitch i was at the uh the dmv today because i have to get my my license is going to expire in a few weeks so i had to get a new one and it is like you've heard of the 80 20 rule like in business
Starting point is 00:40:42 and stuff sure it fits all yeah ground beef where it's like in a lot of places particularly like dmvs 20 of the people are doing 80 of the work and the other 80 are doing 20 i watched the it was these two fat women and one of them was the hardest worker at a dmv i've ever seen in my life like on on it fucking, you know, the little thing to say what the signs are, you know, 48 next, wipe it off. 49 next.
Starting point is 00:41:08 This other bitch would just, would, would finish a person over the course of 15 minutes. It's a two minute thing. And then she would go take a break in the back. And I got a woman like that. And like, they act like you are offending them by asking for a new license.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Like when I go up like, hey, I need to get the fucking real ID before my license expires in a few weeks. Like, fine. It's like, OK, what are these documents do you need? You need two forms of ID. You need this and this. And I like hold it, held them out. you need this and this and i like hold it held them out and i could tell this fucking cunt was hoping that i didn't have the right paperwork so she could send me home because i gave her my license gave him my social security card gave her my uh my passport and she was like this is only
Starting point is 00:41:56 one form of one form of residence you need two forms of residence and i was like oh on the on the show on the card it says my current license which is not expired is fine too and she's like it says or not and and i was like in my head i'm like okay i think she reversed it in her head and i was being snarky to me and i was like oh well either way that's okay here's my utility bill just pull that out too you just had that in your pocket i had it well yeah i had it in my pocket because i went there and i was as i was leaving my house this morning i was like should i bring the utility bill i don't think i need you know what let's just take it just to be sure i get it and she asks like she's like being rude to me on the eye test thing where it's like and these glasses are new i'm killing it she says top row all three k z b x y z a b c a hundred
Starting point is 00:42:44 percent knock them out and she gives me like a three second pause after i finished saying it as if she's gonna be like well that was wrong she's like okay and what do these signs mean do not enter no u-turn merge stop yield take a test you take a test we don't know no that's just all you have to do is just say what the road signs are. And then maybe you have to take another test. Wait, is this not normal? Dude, they don't even know if I can fucking breathe or read. She was fucking with you, Taylor. It could be because I have a class A restriction for needing eyewear on my license.
Starting point is 00:43:19 And so maybe they have to re-up my eyes. I don't fucking know. What you're describing is almost like changing states around here it's like i've never no i've never had that here's what's important to have your ducks in a row in north carolina when your license is about to expire look your best you're gonna have this picture for 10 years get a haircut this is this voice of experience. I can't wait to get a new license. This is not common knowledge. What did you do? I just showed up.
Starting point is 00:43:49 I just showed up, got it. I didn't even look at a mirror first. And if I do my hair straight out of the shower, it can be like a little too matted together or something. It's not my favorite look. And that's the look I've had for almost a decade. So on Impractical Jokers, they made Murr get his driver's license picture. Completely bald. Eyebrows, facial hair, everything like shaved by a decade. So on Impractical Jokers they made Murr get his driver's license picture. Completely bald. Eyebrows, facial hair, everything like shaved by a professional.
Starting point is 00:44:10 And then his passport photo is him with a full beard and a wig. His license photo, yeah. Though he's got one of each, so they don't match now. His passport is like, they're like disguises or something that don't add up. It's going to be a problem he tries to travel yeah he's wearing a wig in his license photo no eyebrows in the
Starting point is 00:44:31 other it doesn't look like the same person well i didn't know it was that much easier everywhere else to get a new or do you guys have the real id thing like you need to do those i've i've just sorry i've had an unexpired license since they introduced the real thing, and so I haven't had to get it until now. I think that's my position. I don't think I have a real ID. Well, I just got a whole new license with the motorcycle accreditation or whatever and everything.
Starting point is 00:44:57 There was no hoops or anything to jump through. It was a little annoying because my paperwork hadn't gone through to their system, and my motorcycle instructor had to get on the phone with her. It wasn't like she was being a problem. She just didn't know what to fucking do. I literally called him, put him on speaker, and slid my phone between us and between
Starting point is 00:45:18 the two of them. My motorcycle season is heating up and I'm excited. I have different moto chats for friends. I wouldn't say I didn like different moto chats for like friends that I like. I wouldn't say I didn't maintain these friendships over the winter, but it's sort of that like one message a week kind of thing. Now springtime and everybody's popping. Everyone's like, we got to go here.
Starting point is 00:45:37 We got to go. I had my eye on the Kentucky Adventure Trail. I'm looking at the South Carolina Adventure Ride. I'm looking at Colorado. I'm excited because things are popping off nice i'm getting back into archery because it's finally warm enough again i had like a like idea in my head over the winter of like i'll put on my my warm coat and i'll go shoot my bow in the snow and it'll be like fun and relaxing. And it was horrible. And so I,
Starting point is 00:46:08 I quit that and was like, this will, what am I training for the Olympics? No, like what was the summer thing? Was it wearing a coat? Cause I can imagine that being constricting in a bulky, yucky way.
Starting point is 00:46:16 I can imagine slogging through four inches of snow to retrieve your arrows to suck. What sucked? Yeah. That the cold, the wind, it was just like probably it was probably 30 total minutes of like trying to convince myself i was having fun before i was like this is meanwhile
Starting point is 00:46:32 there's like hot chocolate inside yeah i'm gonna sit by the fireplace and do you have a fireplace yeah i like fireplace i have a wood pellet fireplace where like you pour like a giant bag of these wood pellets like smokeless pell, and then you turn it on and it gets unbelievably hot. We should have bought that. In my area, it's not popular, so the pellets are hard to come by, which is why we didn't. They are not popular anywhere. I want a coal-burning stove. I want to go like...
Starting point is 00:47:03 Like a wood stove looking thing? No, a coal-burning stove. I want to go like... Like a wood stove looking thing? No, a coal burning stove. I'm not saying coal's a bad idea. I definitely see its upside, but I will say you got to find your source before you buy your fireplace. I'm thinking the source of coal? Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Oh, there's plenty of that, I think. If you say so. Oh, I didn't know. You need to make sure your local tractor supply stocks the thing that you intend to operate. I stand corrected. Kyle's got a coal guy.
Starting point is 00:47:32 He's got a coal man. He's been naughty many years. I don't know why I'm handing out real life tips on a comedy show, but I can't resist sometimes. You're right. You need a steady supply of coal if you're going to go that route. I'm handing out real life tips on a comedy show, but I can't resist sometimes. No, you're,
Starting point is 00:47:46 you're right. You need a, you need a steady supply of coal. If you're going to go that route, do you heat your house with it? Or do you, is it like a, you know,
Starting point is 00:47:55 the day you want a fireplace source? Uh, we, it was like, uh, for maybe a week last winter, I think we used it to like heat the house, but it's just
Starting point is 00:48:06 like it took too long and like the the living room would get really because i have a you know my like 18 foot ceilings or something in my living room so it takes a bunch of skylights i've said before the person who had my house before me was autistic for skylights there's there's between my my my dining room living room and kitchen and area there are eight skylights what the fuck i like it though it's nice i think they were autistic for fireplaces i would have to think but i might have six i'm uh i'm moving uh fairly soon the lease has been up the meet the lease has been up here but i've been like trying to be particular about where i'm going to and uh uh so a couple months i'm going uh i'm definitely
Starting point is 00:48:50 going to get a place that has a basement though and do i think i'm gonna do a home gym i've already got like pieces there's a few things i want to get um uh i definitely need a pack deck um actually i i need to look at some of my other equipment and see if I've got something that'll work as a peck deck. I've got a thing that is one now, but it's not a good one. I want one of those landmine things, though. I think that could be fun. I think there could be some interesting exercises
Starting point is 00:49:15 to do with that. One thing about the landmine, well, if you do a basement gym, you tend to have a lot of space. If you do a gym in a room, then probably you've got better climate control but less space landmine takes almost no space it's like this big yeah so that's nice and i've seen lots of different like attachments where you're doing everything from like squats with land with a landmine thing to all sorts of press you like belt squats t-bar rows all sorts of stuff
Starting point is 00:49:43 on there yeah so i think that could be fun. And just getting all of my stuff in one place will be fun too. So yeah, I think I'm going to do that. That'll be interesting to have everything in one place and not have to go to the gym. I still like going, but I want to do something different. I want to do something different, I think. And I think it can be fun. I do want to start doing pull-ups with rings.
Starting point is 00:50:06 I think I'm going to do that. I don don't know i think i watched a tiktok or basement ceiling might be low for that i've got my uh i got my like crazy acrobatic fuck swing thing though that's like it's it'll be higher like that that doesn't make the ceiling higher but i'm maybe i'm not understanding oh i see your point yeah i don't know i've never it was in my last basement and it was high enough you could just you could even just loop those around the ends of your car rack and then do it on your knees yeah as long as i've got eight feet i don't want to do any kind of like weird thing where i've got a crouch i refuse sometimes how tall is your ceiling uh is it seven maybe the basement is like seven and a half i think yeah sometimes they do that so just a thing to think about yeah i need eight yeah yeah i mean
Starting point is 00:50:53 i can't do standing overhead presses i have to do seated overhead press because i prefer those well i mean seated's way harder i watched like i i watch a bunch of reddit shit like crazy and i watched a guy fail at seated overhead press because he was in a fucking chair though like in a chair chair and he just fell over like a kitchen chair? yeah like a wooden one
Starting point is 00:51:12 I prefer to believe it was a children's kitchen chair like a underside an Oshkosh Osh chair I love Jim Phil videos did you see the one where the guy did you see where the guy starts me out? Did you see where the guy's screaming to like for his tick tock?
Starting point is 00:51:29 So like, I don't know where the camera is. It's off to the side, but this guy is like doing like bicep curls with like dumbbells and he's a smaller guy and he's screaming. I, I can't, when I say scream,
Starting point is 00:51:42 I mean, scream. It's like as loud as he can. I wonder what he's thinking. Well, he's trying to make a TikTok video where he's being an asshole. Well, I would hate that. Well, out of nowhere, out of nowhere comes The Rock's body double. And he's just like, hey, like shoves him immediately.
Starting point is 00:52:02 What the fuck is your problem? Can you read the sign? And I guess the sign said, don't be an asshole or something. I don't know. But I probably don't scream. And he's like, get the fuck out of here. And like kicked him out of the gym. It was great.
Starting point is 00:52:15 An enormous person. He was one of the biggest human beings I've ever seen. This isn't an example of what I'm going to say. But I've seen these videos where a guy does deadlifts, right? And he's not even, he's certainly not yelling yelling maybe he's not even making a sound with his body but if people don't know the culture in deadlifts is you kind of set it down hardish like you you lift it up fast and you drop it hard it's not like other exercises i don't know why but controlling the weight on the way down on a deadlift is just i guess that's not how you do it
Starting point is 00:52:43 so anyway the guy's doing it. And it wasn't like he was dropping it or anything, but he was going down smartly. When they tell him to stop, it's always some guy who's like, I want to fight about this issue. I'm slightly bigger than you. I'm three inches chest to chest from you. You've got to stop right now or else. And I'm like, the fuck? Why are you coming at him so hard? chest from you you've got to stop right now or else and i'm like the fuck you know like why are
Starting point is 00:53:06 you coming at him so hard the guy seemed like he was just exercising with pure motives and they go bonkers i saw the opposite last night that's the video i linked the video by the way um but but i saw the opposite last night this kid goes up in real life no in a video this kid goes up and grabs like 400 pounds deadlifts it three times and uh the owner of the gym you can hear him off camera what the fuck who's this beanpole ripping 400 like it's nothing who is that guy because the kid did not look like he was gonna be like doing that like he looked like a skinny kid and he fucking repped it out it was cool but nobody gave a shit because he's you know he's putting it down ka-cham ka-cham like you sit it down i i think i'm talking about the same video woody is the the guy who's dead lifting the other guy comes from behind him and shoves him while he
Starting point is 00:53:59 has the weight up and it's like if that guy hadn't like dropped the weight correctly he could have like he could have been seriously fucking injured like when i saw that video i was like please like i know this is probably scripted for tiktok to try and you know cultivate who knows but please just like call the police or something and be like there's someone at the gym endangering others shoving them while they lift weight. Please help. Hurry. It's just so ridiculous. I don't get that whole culture of like, lunk alarm, like, you're at the fucking gym.
Starting point is 00:54:36 You should be so focused on your own shit that you're not paying attention to the sound of a deadlift. It's not your business. As long as the guy's not being over the line annoying. I go both ways, honestly, with that thing. I've seen people be overly annoying and fucking weird i don't like it and i'm not even talking about like the groaning necessarily though i've seen a couple cases of that that are just absurd um i am louder when i'm alone um but but but like there's no need for some of that shit that people are doing and it's like if you need to do that here, then like, you just got to go, bro.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Like, that's gross what you're doing over there. It's weird. And then I've also seen people that sing and stuff. I don't like that either. That's inappropriate. There's a crippled guy wheeling around my gym. I've talked about him before. His wife is like Beth from Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Like, big fat chick with like enormous tits. Yeah, just like obese. And he's, you know, he's wheeling around asking people to help him sit him into machines and shit. I'm not having that. I'm not helping him. And I'm tired of singing. I don't like this singing. I'm with both of you.
Starting point is 00:55:39 One, I don't get the singing. Taylor, I don't get the whole lunk alarm thing either. Maybe if I didn't see big assholes at the gym. I get that they're trying to create a culture where people new to gyms feel comfortable. But I didn't know that was a problem. I feel like that's a, I don't know, something looking for a solution, looking for a problem. Maybe that's the phrase I'm looking for. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:04 People come to gyms and the other people are nice they're supportive typically or they just stay in their own zone one of those two i have never seen someone mock somebody else for trying to get better yeah no if anything like i've seen like groups of guys coalesce um into like a bigger group out of nowhere in the gym like i've seen two groups of two that are both on different bench presses start mixing in together and cheering each other on. Like, come on, come on, you got it. Out of nowhere, they're all
Starting point is 00:56:32 trying to max out for some reason. I don't want that either. Come on, you got it, you got it. Yeah, I do weights I can do. That's how I lift. Well, they're over there maxing out. They've got 300 plus pounds. They're over there. I like you know maxing out they've got like they're 300 plus pounds they're over there like i don't know i feel like that's not how i lived that's fair that's fair um i don't want to like really work out with anybody myself like i don't
Starting point is 00:56:56 i don't want any partners dude you're then you are in for the ultimate treat when you make the home gym it's it's the best i can't imagine waiting in line for a machine or asking someone how many more sets you got man almost never happens oh yeah but you go at like such a late time even during the day though like if i had to go to the gym it would have to be during the day like even during the day um like i can go in there at like noon or when it's really busy and i mean like I might have to reorganize what I was going to do. Cause like maybe the first thing I wanted to do was incline bench and somebody's on that,
Starting point is 00:57:28 but I can just go and do something else until it opens up and like move things around a bit. It's not a big deal. I'm excited. I love gym equipment. So when you decide like the stuff you're going to get, send links, I want to look at it.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Yeah. I, you know, I, I, I, I like eclectic stuff. I like,
Starting point is 00:57:44 like, like those stupid mutt dumbbells I got. I like weird stuff like that, so I'm probably going to continue that trend to get some other odd stuff. Weird plates that look like pizzas. I don't think I need plates. I kind of wish I did need plates. I might take my old ones and sandblast
Starting point is 00:57:58 them and coat them or something like that so they're a little bit slimmer to hang on to. Do you have bumpers already? Bumper plates? Yeah, I've got a bench press and um like a squat rack and um all that shit that was in the wings redemption like boot camp stuff like i've got all that i have it my plates aren't interesting to look at but they um they're like try like they have three sort of handles around like yours yeah and uh i just think they're easy to take on and off i bet yeah i've got like whatever the standard
Starting point is 00:58:25 cheapest plates that exist are they're from like a decade ago no maybe they're old i've had them for a long time i didn't choose mine because they were super cheap i think at the time i had to choose them because they were in stock yeah that's going to be a tough thing because gym equipment is still ridiculously overpriced i think a lot of stuff's in um now like when i was just like looking around at stuff earlier i was looking at um those rings um but i saw a bunch of other stuff's in um now like when i was just like looking around at stuff earlier i was looking at um those rings um but i saw a bunch of other stuff was in like bigger stuff uh i think they're catching up a little bit i think it's gonna be a a crazy year we're gonna see i'm wondering what's gonna happen when the ukraine just doesn't ship out millions and millions of bushels of wheat this year like they do every other year uh like what happens to the global like food supply nobody really seems to talk about that isn't russia the biggest producer of wheat
Starting point is 00:59:09 in the world i don't know those numbers but i know that ukraine and russia both produce huge amounts and you would imagine that we wouldn't be getting um i'm sure we produce quite a bit order maybe that's what it is i don't know wait taylor i didn know. Maybe it's like they're the largest net exporter of wheat. I don't know. Let's get some numbers, Zach. Who produces the most wheat in the world? I thought I saw something like Ukraine was like number
Starting point is 00:59:35 six. That juicy, juicy wheat production. I think it drops off quite a bit after the first couple big boys. I would think Ukraine would be real high on the list um i think that like the big part of that country which is the size of texas is like farmland that they make wheat yeah it could be a fuck ton yeah they grow it make it yeah pink pink um china india russia and ukraine all the down there. That's still a significant amount.
Starting point is 01:00:05 So US is four. I didn't expect that. And Ukraine is nine. How are we barely edging France out? That's bullshit. Let's get... We've got to pump these numbers up. Pump those numbers up. I have a theory. Ethanol corn.
Starting point is 01:00:19 My theory is all those wheat farms switch to corn so that they could put bull... so they could ruin your gasoline and pretend it's saving the economy or the environment. I meant to say, yeah, yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 01:00:32 It'll be interesting to see what happens. Hopefully nothing. Maybe we'll make more wheat. Just us. I would think that, well, it just like a capitalism supply and demand thing. Like if,
Starting point is 01:00:43 if I'm typically make asparagus every year and now I know there's going to be a wheat shortage, I might change it up. That's fair, but it's wheat though. So there's like a time of year you plant it and the time of year you harvest it. And maybe it's not like maybe all the wheat there's going to be is already planted for this year. That's a good point. The other part is specialized equipment. I know you need however you get asparagus out of
Starting point is 01:01:07 the ground is probably different than wheat. I made that one up. It's not a good example, but work with me. Alfalfa is a really popular one. People eat alfalfa? People make alfalfa. It might be for animals, but it's a popular
Starting point is 01:01:23 crop. It's like a silage or something. Maybe. Yeah. In any case, grains aside, I'm hungry. I've had like seven calories this week. We're going to be talking about mostly barley,
Starting point is 01:01:38 but we're going to experience other cereal grains as well. The brands, these guys, beer, fish, you don't know. We keep it raw. Various harvesting tactics.
Starting point is 01:01:48 It's going to be a good show. Talk about hops. Welcome to Brand Talk. To Brand Talk. Alright, top five kinds of oats, go. Steel cut. Quaker. Apple cinnamon.
Starting point is 01:02:08 When you put them in a cookie If you haven't seen the first episode of Halo Because you don't have Paramount Plus It's free on YouTube It must be going badly It was initially released I just didn't know it I think they're doing that because so few people have Paramount+. Smart.
Starting point is 01:02:29 Our new episode Thursday. Very cool. PKN398.

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