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pkn 398 is that the right number it's close it there are no wrong numbers
there are only wrong times uh it's right i'm wrong okay we know okay so kyle we were cooking
yes we were having a discussion where i said first all, we were talking about petroleum jelly and how like
Vaseline Kyle was like, yeah, Vaseline was dope in 1917, but we figured out like 10 different
options for everything it can do. Like what's the point of putting Vaseline on a cut if you've got
Neosporin there? Nothing. So Neosporin is just a better version of that. Or on your lips if you
have a chapstick or something. Exactly. Something like that. Or on your lips if you have a chapstick or exactly something like that or on your dick if you've got any number of sexual loops you could probably use vaseline for that
but vaseline is very goopy you wouldn't want to fuck with it remember like the joke being like
oh vaseline what are you gonna beat off have you ever tried beating off with vaseline it's terrible
less than 300 times so it's awful it's terrible no I haven't tried it. Have you actually tried it?
I'm sorry, Colin.
I think it's more popular in the black community.
And I get this from mostly all, like from movies and film.
Like I often see them like, oh, yeah, he's got the vast.
I feel like maybe the same way black people have different hair treatment,
they've also got different like dick treatments.
Like maybe the African-American penis
is a more
sturdy implement. I don't know.
Maybe they need that thick viscous
lubricant. I prefer a thinner
lubricant myself.
It's a budgetary issue, right?
Like a little
wet platinum
might go a long way for us, whereas
they need gallons a lot of
gallons of it right you know that when you're when your junk is massive
you need uh you need a budget or okay so what you're saying is like like the amount of like
wet platinum that a black man would need for a single masturbatory session break the budget
like it breaks your budget in half like
you know a white man uses a think of how much money we could save if we just didn't circumcise
kids then they got foreskin you don't need anything to jack off oh i think like again as a
as a circumcised man you know a non-savage i i like to with my soul saved, Don't worry, Lord, the pact between Abraham and you continues.
Dude, you're covered in three religions.
Oh, yeah, all around.
All my bases.
All the big ones, all the hits.
It's not like the Hindus are like four dirty dicks anyway.
They just don't care.
But I would imagine that if you get some lubricant down into that foreskin,
you really are hitting on all cylinders then. Oh that foreskin it's the you really are like like
hitting on all cylinders then oh yeah it's got to be as smooth as can be like i didn't get it all
out because wet platinum like you ever get some of that in your belly button or like like like
down your like balls and ass crack gooch like anywhere it gets in the bottom of your shower
that's a death trap for a week the bottom of the shower is the most dangerous place for it because
it rinses off all the excess off your dick or wherever else it got through actually the more i think about it i'm liking it more because one of
my concerns about a foreskin is it wouldn't be um like lubed up enough to like slide back and forth
uh comfortably that's another thing that you never hear those uncut guys talk about is like
i've noticed from pornography that like and this is just among people who are brave enough to like
put their dicks on film so
like this may be a skewed where is he going with this so many of their dicks don't fucking work
so many of their dicks don't fucking work the foreskin doesn't want to come back over the head
of their penis and like it's supposed to so they've got like this thing that like it's like
oh so we just always see half of the head of your penis that's gotta feel the ridge doesn't come out
like it doesn't go over the frenulum or whatever the fuck i wonder penis that's gotta feel the ridge doesn't come out like it doesn't go
over the frenulum or whatever the fuck i wonder if that's a permanent condition it is surgery to
correct it it's a well-known thing i used to get a lot of messages about that from me on monday
people would write me and say that they had this it was new to me because i'm circumcised
and uh like i would google it and do my best to answer it but i wonder if throughout life if it
doesn't stretch it doesn't so it's you say it doesn't but all other skin does if i i could put
that uh african lip stretching thing in your bottom lip and before long you'd have a dinner
plate counterpoint i could do it to your earlobes. How long do your erections last? As long as he wants them to last, baby.
Let's say you're super manly.
Let's be honest.
Let's say on average you are hard
an hour every day.
That's a pretty significant amount of time
if you are a wreck.
It's a light day, yes.
That's not long enough to stretch skin.
Skin gets stretched by being stretched all
day every day they put those pucks in their mouth they're not popping them in for an hour and then
going about their day they're not gauging ears for an hour a day all your people fat people aren't
fat for an hour a day you're like that all day and that's what's allowing skin to like adjust
and stretch like that i'm not buying it it's's an effective... And also the fact that I'm seeing
adult men whose
penises still don't work because they didn't get
them fixed at birth like the rest of us do.
Well, those are fucked up foreskins.
Yes, they are. A condition that a cut man
is just incapable
of having. You don't have underarm B.O. if you
chop your arm off.
Kyle's reading me over on this.
I wonder if the real reason that foreskins got cut more often is how many guys were like,
dude, I wish I didn't have this problem.
It's so painful all the time.
You should trim it like a haircut.
I don't want my son to run into the issues that I have had throughout life,
so I'm going to circumcise him right now.
Also, they would have been smelly and disgusting all the time back then.
Yeah, but no worse than
your ass.
Everything's terrible if you go back
50 years. It would be a different kind of stink,
I think.
I don't want to talk about dicks.
Why aren't we talking about dicks?
That's all I talk about.
If you're going to be talking with me, dicks are going to come up,
so to speak. Whoa of dick talk here um i was trying to talk about about the the what were
we talking about we started with vaseline vaseline this is more fun than the vaseline angle though
how about this for a topic change i was
thinking about this like like so people get some people get upset when like a traditionally white
character is recast and they put a black character a brown character or like if not necessarily the
character is traditionally white but maybe historically that role or that figure just
would have been white like a show about't matter. England or something. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was thinking.
Or even if it was like Pete.
That's a terrible example.
No, Peter Pan's usually played by a girl, right?
That's a stage thing.
I think it's, it's, he's a boy.
Yeah.
Well, shit, make it anybody else.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I was just thinking like, like, like one thing I've noticed that, that, that politicians
do right these days is whenever there's one of these like far reaching bills or something, they find a way to like, oh, you like it like that?
Yeah, that's our bill. You like it like that? Yeah, that's in our bill. So you like that thing in your bill? Yeah. All right. So can't with the don't say gay thing.
Right. The left is saying, oh, well, then no one should be referred.
If we can't give any instruction to these children about sexual orientation or blah, blah, blah, then we can no longer use Mr.
And Mrs. Because that is normalizing a certain structure and that is in its its own way instruction so i
will be known as like you know where can the third your instructor now uh genderless like grand
wizard a formless energy that that you know that that that is in the middle of the room providing
education you know that's why they all turn this to mr mr because i know for he she it could be
oh it was like it's mx mix how do you pronounce that do you know i'veShe, it could be... Oh, it was like MX.
How do you pronounce that? Do you know?
I've only read it because I've never met a crazy person.
Yeah, that is... I mean, we all know how difficult and harmful
easily categorized things are for children.
But what I'm getting at, don't get away from the point.
Don't let me get away from my core issue here,
is that this sort of malicious compliance, as it were,
could be used for this sort of malicious compliance, as it were, could be used
for this sort of issue with casting choices. So I was thinking like maybe the next time we do like
a Hitler thing or a Nazi thing, Hitler's African-American and like a good one third of the
stormtroopers are brown and women, lots of women women lots of women stormtroopers who are like
mercilessly killing the jews like like really hard like like like this is an edgy star wars
who said star wars this yeah i was on star wars too how did you get there you got stormtroopers
yeah you did the nazis had stormtroopers that's what they were well so did the empire so it wasn't a crazy
thought we're not making a fucking disney film wait this is like schindler's list
killing jews i literally my mind went straight to guy in the white suit fake chest built into it
well shit that wasn't my intention i'm like stormtroopers being like what's uh what's a
good apr raid on a credit card he had a a great answer. We're taking him in.
I just want to make
Nazis black again.
That's my goal.
Wait, they weren't.
Who's to say?
I looked at the pronunciation of MX.
It's easy once you know it.
It's pronounced like M-I-X. It's Mix.
So you'd be Mix Myers.
Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's my slave name you'd be Mix Myers. Yeah, that's ridiculous.
That's my slave name, I'll have you know.
Dude, that's...
I'm Mix Freemix.
Because I can't be Freeman.
You guys are against it. I actually don't care.
Tell me what your name is, and I'll use it.
Tell me what your pronoun is, and I will do my level best.
Sometimes I foul that up.
But yeah, if you were like, look, I go by...
I don't know if your last name is Public Taylor,
but if you're like, you know, Mr. Mills,
but I prefer Mix Mills, then I would just say that.
You know, like whatever.
Whatever you want your name to be, you tell me, and I'll get it.
If you say you don't go by he, I might fuck it up now and then
because you really look like a he to me, but I will do my best.
What if they report you to HR the first time you make a mistake and you're on probation
now that would suck but it doesn't line up with my experience at all I've you know the show has
a bunch of fans who are trans and absolutely I've had no issue with trans people I've only ever had
issues with it with that sort of thing with women it was never an issue like like guys would always take a joke um regardless of their race like you could
make a racial joke because they were like i'm talking about when i sold cars and worked with
like a really diverse group of people and that um you know there was a gay guy there let me get
um but the only person who ever and it was the person that we tiptoed around it was the woman
it was katrina like we didn't make jokes with katrina to avoid anything but she still reported us to hr not me
in particular just like that she felt uncomfortable in her work environment and i promise you i had
never had any interaction with this 40 year old skinny black lady that was anything but professional
i don't think anyone had but she still complained and she still got paid off did she ever complain about you no no okay yeah i've never been pulled to hr for social issues like
that yeah it was more yeah it was more of a thing where she went to corporate about the whole
dealership's work environment as it were and it was just the opposite like everybody was cool with
her like like if it was raining like someone would volunteer to like go get the car that she needed
to show to a customer and bring it up there for like if anything like the red carpet
was pulled out it was it was real shitty the only issue i've ever seen but but like as far as like
gay people or like like somebody who was like mexican who didn't like a fucking mexican joke or
white who didn't like a white joke there was only two or three of like white people that i ever
worked with total out of 30 employees it was like white people were the minority by and they were
eastern europeans too yeah and they were eastern europe minority by far. And they were Eastern Europeans too.
Yeah, and they were Eastern Europeans.
It's not like they were my homies.
Like if anybody's out there who's listening,
like you're a black guy
who's ever worked with an African African,
y'all aren't exactly homies.
And like my friend Austin from Nigeria,
like he said some things that I would never say
about an African American.
About an American African-American.
An American African-American.
About a black American is what he's saying.
He's just an African.
He's got a work visa.
Okay, okay, okay.
I stand corrected.
He's just an African.
Dude, I wonder if they all look like that.
He looked like he could slip right into the UFC at light heavyweight.
Like, dude's heavyweight.
Light heavyweight. like dudes this dude looks so ripped in like a button-up shirt like like like biceps in a button-up shirt like that's a big guy looking jacked in a in a button-up yes yeah button-ups disguise any
progress i've made no look fucking terrifying in a button-up. Have you seen the way bodybuilders look in suits?
Mm-hmm.
It's insane.
Their chest is like 70.
So Taylor's looking jacked right now.
I can look okay if I wear a shirt that's too small.
I look like a guy who lifts if I look like a guy who doesn't know how to shop.
I combine those.
We were doing a PKA hangout. it cracked me up because i have one shirt
in particular that makes me look horrible it's the color of dishwater it has a big print on the
front which isn't my thing and it fits so loose and tear it you think but uh a pka hangout member
cracked me up he said the perfect thing he's like, in seconds, that shirt has undone all the gains you've made in the last two years.
I'm like, yes!
Yeah, it looks awful.
That is disheartening.
You go in your closet every so often, and you grab a free t-shirt that you got from an event.
It was free.
And you put it on, and you look at yourself.
This is the worst I've ever looked at in my entire life.
I know that brand you're wearing. I have it. I might be wearing it's like, this is the worst I've ever looked at in my entire life. I have it.
I might be wearing it.
It's on Amazon.
Is it a B?
It says AM, I think.
Okay.
You might like it too, Kyle. It's a comfortable shirt,
but most importantly, it fits in a way
that makes you look good.
You're going to go bigger in size than you think so i think it's more european-y because i had to get double xl
it's not me i just go tighter
is that college shirt no
dude like i i like i'll put on a like a shirt that that fit me two years ago and like just
look in the mirror for motivation to lose weight and like i genuinely like when i look to the side
my stomach like i look like fucking ned from game of thrones is about to walk into my shop and order
a sword like that's what i feel like i'm like God, this is just the gut of a fucking blacksmith in Lord of the Rings times.
I've been hard on the cut lately.
So I took about two and a half weeks off from lifting to PT, a shoulder that was bugging me, physical therapy.
Listeners don't know PT.
And I was really good about it.
I probably hit the PT average like five days a week.
Like, I wasn't fucking around.
I probably hit the PT average like five days a week.
Like I wasn't fucking around,
but,
um,
uh,
when I don't exercise, it somehow ties into not eating as tight as I would.
Like my motivation from eating seems to come from hitting the gym and stuff
like,
and,
uh,
I don't know how much weight I gained,
but not a ton ton,
like four pounds,
but it's like,
this stops here.
And I'm, uh uh i'm back in the
gym no father yeah like as you like physically destroy boxes of oreos and cookies oh i'm not
eating oreos i did have some trail mix though i did trail mix
no i'm on my last giant container of goldfish and I'm not having any more after this for a while.
Until Thursday.
Until maybe, well, okay, I've got half of a 64-ounce container.
So that's three days if I kind of ration a little bit later.
Taylor, exercise idea.
A diet, this is really, you should finish the container in one sitting so you can start your diet.
I have done that with so many foods over the years.
This past weekend, I've been doing very good with eating the last five weeks or so.
And just out of nowhere, my wife, she was coming home from hanging out with some friends.
I was just at home.
She was like, I want pizza bad tonight.
And like I had in my mind that day, I'm like, you're doing so good.
You're killing it.
Like I'm in the middle of my workout and I get that text.
We should get pizza tonight.
And immediately, like, I'm getting excited about, like,
what kind of pizza am I going to get?
And like that night.
Well, yes, Kyle, I a heart at least an hour a day
45 minutes alone was waiting for dominoes to deliver yeah so i ordered some some pizza
and big old giant one thin crust so i could rationalize it and i like higher topping to
crust ratio anyway and like it got towards the end of the night my wife's asleep there's like
maybe five six pieces of pizza left not it's not slices it's end of the night my wife's asleep there's like maybe five
six pieces of pizza left not it's not slices it's like in the squares so it's not nearly as much
pizza as i make it sound and like there's not a lot left and i wasn't hungry i was already not
feeling good but i was like well now now just like get it all in because you ate so much pizza yeah
and i was like just get it all in and you won't warm this up tomorrow.
And so I forced the rest of the pizza down.
I woke up in the middle of the night like, oh, why do I feel so bad?
It's from all the cheese I ate.
What I do if we do something like that, like some recipes,
like you don't know what you're getting,
especially if you're making something new.
If I make a risotto and I end up with like serving for eight i throw it away i throw it away if this is like a spent
if this isn't like something that goes into my meal plan taylor back me up he's not going to
heaven now right you can't wait like that yeah i i throw it the fuck away throw that shit away
like and i've thought about that before i've had that thought like oh it's wasteful if i throw it
in the trash it's like it's wasteful if you eat it
dummy that's cardio like fuck that that's electricity that'll have to get burned in
the long run some coal got burned that's co2 what would greta sternberg want me to do right now and
i throw that food right in the garbage i've been walking a lot i always put chemicals on it though
so the homeless can't get out of it poor bleep that's that's
yeah it wasn't cruel enough to just throw it away sigma male behavior can someone lay out sigma male i don't feel like i know this term i know it's a meme to mean like
the new alpha male but that's as far as i've looked into it's okay kyle you might even know
more oh no i i i'm i'm uh i'm just parroting it the same way i do uh things
like getting goaded with a sauce man i'm just i'm just being silly yep that's how i do memes now too
just try to figure it out a sigma male is a man with a socio-sexual hierarchy who chooses to
and it disappeared who chooses to live his life outside of normal social dominance hierarchy
structures of society okay so like someone who would shake a bathroom stall door.
Like,
like,
like,
is this someone who,
cause you read it once more.
Live his life outside the normal social dominance of hierarchy.
Oh,
it moved hierarchy structures of society.
Sigma and alpha males are equal and share many common characteristics.
They're both confident in their life choices and aim high the main difference lies in their attitude sigmas choose
to sit outside the hierarchy while alphas prefer to be on top of it okay i feel like all this stuff
is made up by losers i don't yeah i don't care anymore um i watched a really good fucking movie
last night remember i've probably mentioned it before. There was that whole list of movies that I was putting off
until I could smoke weed again.
Some of them fell through the cracks when I went on my little weed trip
to Colorado, and they didn't get watched.
And one of them was Annihilation with Natalie Portman.
I just remember seeing the previews for that whenever it came out.
It's probably four or five years ago now.
And thinking, ooh, that looks really good.
There's no way I can watch that sober.
And at the time, I was super bummed out i probably hadn't been uh i probably just been arrested recently or something like that i was like this is going on the back burner one day i'll
watch this well um i got it was yesterday that day was last night yeah i i uh i didn't smoke for
like um like several days to like take a little tolerance break. I can't approve, Kyle.
I got real good and high
and then watched this movie
with Natalie Portman.
I came away with it thinking
that it might be one of the best
badass
girl flicks I've ever
seen.
There are very few good
chick flicks where they're like badass
girls, where girls
get it done. The best is
Alien, Sigourney Weaver.
All these dumbasses
won't listen to her.
She's the one who has to take control.
She's the one who's clear-headed,
brave, everything you want. You're like
hero. I take a guess.
You're also gonna like
terminator that was gonna make your list terminator 2 uh more than terminator 1 but
overlook hunger games i would never even talk about that garbage movie i mean when the star
of the movie had to suck so much dick just to portray a character who doesn't spill blood
for three fucking movies i'm good wait she doesn't kill anyone for she's not
she she is the worst kind of chick movie there she she's like everybody comes everybody white
night my pussy here i am i've got one skill that doesn't really translate but i'm hot as fuck
come on cuck boys like like i know there's two of you and i treat one of you like garbage but get over here and do
my bidding bitches say give your life for me in the revolution no everyone give your life for my
pussy in the revolution that's the worst kind of chick i need to re-watch it i don't remember
i remember her being so what i liked jennifer lawrence as an actress i don't know if still
but definitely like when she was doing that, was athletic.
I'm very sensitive to skinny models who aren't actually athletes moving like non-athletes.
There are pretty girls who look good on Vogue magazine who, if they jumped off a kitchen chair, could barely handle it.
I don't like them being action stars.
But Jennifer Lawrence, I do like it.
I think she's worthy of she runs
like someone who's ran before i feel like she could tackle another girl and probably win that
encounter no that stuff matters to me too much i do not like it when it goes too far the the wrong
way but it's not like a prerequisite they didn't try to make her strong but they just made her
really good at shooting bows and arrows which was was relevant. I thought she used that skill to stay alive.
I mean,
before,
like,
like I don't,
did she shoot anybody with the bow other than at the end of the third
movie?
She shot the main guy.
I haven't seen more than the first,
but that is unbelievable.
If she literally killed Donald Sutherland at the very,
very end or something,
or maybe not even Donald Sutherland.
Maybe she shot like the other bitch.
She shot. Um, I can't think of the actress's name right julia something it doesn't fucking
matter she i think she killed one person how did she even win the competition i just told you the
cuck boys yeah but she would have to kill them at the end to win no no she convinced the last boy
to kill himself.
What?
They've had a suicide.
She's like, yeah, eat the poison berries with me.
Then they'll have to save us.
And he's like, yes, ma'am.
It's the worst kind of chick flick.
She did kill a guy during the Hunger Games.
It was the person who killed Rue.
The person speared Rue, rue what a cute little black girl and she if she didn't kill 15 people then i don't want to hear it you know what i mean like like sigourney weaver
clears planets full of aliens she sets off thermonuclear detonations and flies away like
not looking at explosions and then i derailed you from uh annihilation is awesome so
the other one i was going to say is um um what's the one where the the four or five girls go
spelunking it's uh the descent that's that is my second favorite like badass chick flick this one's
right up there because natalie portman um so i'm not going to spoil the movie but i'm going to like
kind of give you enough of a taste that you'll want to watch it maybe um natalie portman's
character did seven years in the army and then she got out and like got some sort of biology
degree at john hopkins that's her character she's pretty buffed up already right um she's got like
stats and like strength and uh and uh intelligence at the same time or whatever but then her and her
she thinks her husband's dead he's military as as well. He goes on these black op missions, been gone for six months. She's declared him dead.
He shows up not way out of it.
He doesn't remember much of anything.
He's almost completely amnesiatic.
Then he goes into like full-blown shock,
coughing up blood,
got to go to the ER.
And the military grabs them both
and takes them back to where he had come from.
And it's a research station several hundred yards outside of something called the Shimmer.
The Shimmer began several years prior when an object struck the Earth somewhere in America.
It doesn't really matter. It's just the middle of nowhere, like Everglades, whatever.
This bubble of shimmery energy has been slowly expanding from where it,
from where the meteor or whatever struck every day,
like maybe an inch or two,
you know,
like,
like,
but it,
but steadily for years now,
and it's becoming a problem.
And every team they've ever sent in,
no one has ever come out.
And,
uh,
this until her husband,
he came out,
now he's all fucked up.
And a new team is about to go in composed of all women.
And they're like, well, how are you
sending all women? He's like, we've never
sent a woman. It's always been
teams of men. It's always been military teams.
So we're sending four female
scientists this time. We're going to see
if that works because no man's ever lived.
We're doing a Lord of the
Rings thing here.
And it makes sense sense and also like the lady who runs the program she's like dying of cancer so she's like i've sent so many
men to their deaths into there i'm going i'm going i'm not gonna die out here after i've sent so many
i'm gonna i'm going because like this thing is gonna eat the whole world eventually like that's
the thing eventually it's gonna be the whole world they think so they go in and uh it's pretty wild it's
some like crazy wacky shit going on in there and um you know some sci-fi shit's happening and
there's a good bit of action and there's some monsters and there's some death and mayhem and
some weird wacky gore and uh there's a mystery some whodunit some not whodunit really but you know you get to
the bottom of everything by the end and there's some good cool cgi and uh and i was into it and
i thought yeah good good because that was the dissents thing that they got wrong there was like
six hot women in there and not even a boob i loved that that about The Descent. When I watch a horror movie, I want to be
scared. I want it to be all scary.
I don't care. It's supposed
to be a horror film, and they're going to piss
time away on tits. Tits are free
everywhere, dude. Everywhere.
If you want tits, find them. Find a million
pairs. I disagree. I want a
little titty. Let me tell you what the titty says.
The titty in a movie says
we're having fun here, especially in an action movie.
I got you, bro. That's what it says.
I got you, bro. I knew you wanted to see him.
I know you paid $7 to watch this movie.
Come on, Kyle.
It's a wink at the camera. Say, hey, little titty for you, bro.
I know you like that. Don't worry.
We're going to kill her. She showed her titty to you.
Now she must die. That's the rules.
And then they get that done.
I love the titty. Why they call me the Black must die. That's the rules. And then they get that done. I love the titty. Why they call me
the Black Widow. That's not
why, but...
I do like the titty. I see your point.
If it's like showing some titties,
that's okay. If they
would have started having sex
in the cave, it would have taken me
out of it. Well, Taylor, I'm aware
that you don't like it. The only dry thing in that cave was their pussy have taken me out of it. Well, Taylor, I'm aware that you don't like that. The only driver in that cave was their pussy.
Dixon, sir.
All right, sir.
I will call you that.
That movie, The Descent, or excuse me,
Annihilation that I watched last night,
the only male character that I can remember of note,
the sergeant who went in and then came back out,
he's actually the guy from Moon Knight, the sergeant who went in and then came back out.
He's actually the guy from Moon Knight, the new Marvel TV show that I've been watching, been watching.
They put out one episode and there's not any action really until like the last couple minutes of it.
So I can't really.
It's OK. You know, it's like a it's like it's a split personality guy. So there's one person now that's a British nerd who doesn't know anything about the other personalities.
He thinks he's a sleepwalker.
That's the end of it.
There's another personality who's an American guy
who seems to be very much in control
and aware that he has a superhero persona.
And then there's the superhero persona
that roughly speaking is some sort of Egyptian warrior spirit
or some shit that he can become to fight,
I don't know, crime and corruption, whatever the fuck he's fighting. It seemed like some sort of evil conspiracy warrior spirit or some shit that he can become to fight crime
and corruption, whatever the fuck he's fighting.
It seemed like some sort of evil conspiracy
in the episode, but it was okay.
CGI kind of sucked.
That's okay. I can get over some
I'm re-watching The Boys.
That's what I'm up to lately.
New season soon with
Jensen Ackles, I think.
I don't know if that's the the right one you know
the guy's from supernatural they're adding the little one okay he's soldier boy like the curiously
handsome guy they all are both of them yeah i don't even know which one's better looking from
supernatural he was talking about when i can't remember what show he was on but um they added
him to the show god i wish i could remember which actress it was on, but they added him to the show.
God, I wish I could remember which actress it was that he hated.
But the actress was like,
oh, look, they added this pretty boy to pump up the numbers.
Let's get the pretty boy in the scene.
He was like...
She treated him like that after he was added to the show.
I can't remember what the fucking show was.
It doesn't matter.
But yeah, they're adding him to the boys.
What a bitch.
Did he win her over?
I think she's... I wish I could just state that wow that's the whole i thought that i i was sure there was going to be a redemption arc in that story but no she's just bad
yeah um it's a hostile work environment i wish i could remember that poor man
but but no i'm into that the boys is one of the better shows on tv um i'm into it a lot
uh hostile work environment have you guys made constant reference to my good looks? Man,
I couldn't take it. Look at this guy.
Here comes Taylor, who's not overweight.
Guys, stop it.
You're embarrassing. That would be so embarrassing to have people sarcastically
make fun of you.
Wow.
Look at him.
He's so svelte.
I barely noticed him booming into the room.
Husky.
Husky is the worst.
Yeah.
Did you shop in Husky as a kid?
No, but I remember there was a brand of jeans called Husky Boys or something.
Yeah. I have a few pairs of Husky Boys.
But in my head, I'm trying to remember if Husky Boys actually existed
or if it's from King of the Hill, and that's what Bobby wore.
Yeah, it is a King of the Hill joke, Husky Boys.
And Bobby also doesn't understand that Husky means fat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like as a young kid.
He thinks it means cool or slick or something.
I didn't know like
really because it's a nice word to like tell overweight kids or just bigger kids like hey
we're gonna husky and it's like oh like the dog no it means strong in my mind like the pig
were you chubby as a kid or just built like as a kid i wasn't chubby i was just a big kid
yeah i was just like a an oddly wide child i've been watching uh master chef uh this is where
gordon ramsey judges the the amateur cooks dude people cry a lot in the auditions because they're
it's they're like put their whole life on hold to like take this shot at a quarter million dollars.
And and then, you know, Gordon's merciless.
This blind girl auditions.
I shit you not.
She's fucking blind.
Eyes look in different ways.
And Gordon's like, were you born blind?
And she's like, no, no.
It started about 10 years ago.
It was an autoimmune disease i slowly lost it now
now i'm completely blind as she like fumbles around for like lemons and limes and shit
and um and and they eat her food and they're like it's actually perfect i'm a little worried
about sending a blind person into the kitchen though i can do it chef i can do it so now she's doing it and it's so
fucking pitiful that i'm crying watching fucking master because this they're making apple pies
and like everybody's bringing their apple pies up but in the background i can see the little
blind girl and she's crying like a baby because she's so nervous because she doesn't know what her pie looks like.
She doesn't.
And nobody will fucking tell her.
Those assholes.
Well, it is a competition.
Fair.
So, no, it's not fair.
They could have been like, hey, it looks fucking great.
Chill.
But she's just like crying.
And she finally like her helper guides, carries the pie and guides her up there.
She's got a stick, too.
She's got the fucking white stick.
It's so pitiful. And she gets up there and she's crying openly before anybody says shit and gordon's like why are you crying
and she's like i bet it looks like shit and he's and he's just like it's beautiful and that's the
first time the camera shows it in that moment like and the music kicks on and like the audience
sees it for the first time and gordon describes it to her for the first time so it's like you
and her getting and it's perfect it's beautiful it's crispy it's like flaky on top he's like and he
describes what it looks like and sounds like for like 30 seconds and before he cuts it and then
he's like he like pulls the slice up and it's important that like it doesn't fall apart that
it stays to this nice like congealed slice of apple pie it's like perfect and the music goes and i was just like
and like they are all eating it and like each one is like it's fucking delicious
it's the best apple pie i've ever had and she's just trembling she's crying so hard do they let
her use a knife jesus kyle what's your pronoun it's's fucking sad, man. And she used knives?
Yeah, dude, she's doing the whole thing.
She's chopping vegetables.
She, like, finds the edge of the vegetable with the knife,
and then her... You can imagine.
She, like, fumbles around blindly, basically.
Does she make anything that looked just terrible?
Not yet.
So far, so good.
And Gordon, like is he pretends like
oh so good gets her food's delicious but the plating is awful what what if like to like save
her feelings they put her in her own competition with like a laugh track and a soundtrack and she
like nobody's in the room with her. She's just cooking alone.
That'd be the meanest show ever. They just put on an old season
in the background. I don't know.
She's fucking cute too, other than
the eyes do the thing
where they're looking left and right.
It would be a nice...
She should go the glasses route if she's got
the wonky eyes.
I would get the eyes taken out
if I had wonky eyes. That's terrifying get the eyes taken out if i if i had my if i had wonky eyes to get
like terrifying no no i want i want this one a void in there when you look where they should be
like i i think those guys who get glass eyes or pussies mine would be clear i want a glass i didn't
think that opens my gaping orbs up like like a maw that you can look deep and long into and just
see blackness when When people stare too
long into your eyes, they stare back into
them. That's what I want.
That's what I want. I want Lovecraftian
horror in each eye.
Like 10 grand for
obsidian eyes.
Or like some sort of optical illusion
thing where the longer you looked, it just
felt like you were falling into them.
Yeah. You wouldn't be able to see people's like reaction though yeah but you could
tell me if i got what do you think of this and it's like it's horrible it's terrifying
i'd mostly like i've never seen someone with two lazy obsidian eyes
they're lazy still the that fucker at the clinic told me it was fine
continuously point them the right way straight me out um no i'm fucking crying at fucking master
chef because this poor little blind girl is cooking for the first time and everybody's
kissing her ass or whatever i'm sure she can cook well i just feel like i can't stand to look at
i also don't like watching um well youppled Dogs and the Paralympics.
I can't handle it. It makes me sad.
It is sad.
Even when it's uplifting stories, it makes me sad.
There was this really big bus crash with a minor league.
Or maybe it wasn't even a minor league.
It was a junior hockey team.
This was three years ago.
Most of the team, I think, died.
It was a
horrible crash and like there will be little inspiring things like here's jeff stevenson
first time back on the ice since the the humboldt broncos bus crash of 18 and like the guy is on
like a sled like hockey now because like he's paralyzed and it's like i'm i'm happy he survived
like i'm glad he's like for him back out there survived. I'm glad for him he's back
out there playing the sport, but that's
so fucking sad to me. To have your
life stolen. What if he was still in his pads
and he just crawled out?
And he wanted to play goalie?
Just let him do it, I guess.
I always go here. When someone loses
the use of their legs, they usually
lose the use of their dick too.
But if you had to pick one, which one would you pick?
Don't do the whole I'm just going to die thing.
I want you to pick one for the purposes of the show.
Legs are so great.
So I'm keeping my dick,
but the joke I was going to make is I keep my legs
so I can go find a weapon to kill myself.
That's what I'd actually do.
Because I'm not going to continue to live without legs or a dick.
I'm just not.
I don't know how women do it.
Imagine being a paralyzed woman.
Brutal.
They don't have legs or a dick.
Well, they can still fuck, though.
They're doomed from the start
no they fuck way more more than they like you can't get away
jesus we're all making the same joke it's so awful
what was i gonna say uh oh oh if i couldn't if i needed a bag to pee in that would mean a lot to
me too.
I don't want that.
You know what they do? I was just on Reddit
and this lady was talking about she was getting her
butthole sewed up today.
There's a name for that.
You need your butthole open.
It's called a proctonomy or some shit. I don't know.
If you've got a colostomy bag now
and the butthole becomes irrelevant,
I guess. I was just thinking,
does her husband know she's closing up shop back there like like like if if if she wasn't using it
is all i'm saying is like always clean it's kind of rude of her to make a unilateral decision like
that yeah i don't i don't know it should really be the husband's decision as to whether or not
that gets sewn up do you really want to fuck her in the ass, though, looking at her horrible toothpick legs
limply laying on the bed?
No muscle on the ass?
No, she's just got a colostomy bag and a sewn-up
butt.
But man, what an awful
thing you just said.
Yeah, Taylor, how dare you?
I was getting into the scenario, guys.
No, I'm just abandoning you
because it's funny.
I'm genuinely upset. you because it's funny. I'm sorry.
I'm genuinely upset.
That is the worst when we're riffing and then you're like, what about this?
And people are like, that's horrible.
God damn it.
Don't leave me on this island.
I don't know, Hitler.
Jesus Christ.
Damn it. Agree and amplify, you bitch.
Yeah, right. damn it agree and amplify you bitch i was at the uh the dmv today because i have to get my my license is going to expire in a few
weeks so i had to get a new one and it is like you've heard of the 80 20 rule like in business
and stuff sure it fits all yeah ground beef where it's like
in a lot of places particularly like dmvs 20 of the people are doing 80 of the work and the other
80 are doing 20 i watched the it was these two fat women and one of them was the hardest worker
at a dmv i've ever seen in my life like on on it fucking, you know, the little thing to say what the signs are,
you know,
48 next,
wipe it off.
49 next.
This other bitch would just,
would,
would finish a person over the course of 15 minutes.
It's a two minute thing.
And then she would go take a break in the back.
And I got a woman like that.
And like,
they act like you are offending them by asking for a new license.
Like when I go up like, hey, I need to get the fucking real ID before my license expires in a few weeks.
Like, fine.
It's like, OK, what are these documents do you need?
You need two forms of ID.
You need this and this.
And I like hold it, held them out.
you need this and this and i like hold it held them out and i could tell this fucking cunt was hoping that i didn't have the right paperwork so she could send me home because i gave her my
license gave him my social security card gave her my uh my passport and she was like this is only
one form of one form of residence you need two forms of residence and i was like oh on the on
the show on the card it says my current license which is not expired is fine too and she's like it says or not and and i was like in my head i'm like okay i think she reversed it
in her head and i was being snarky to me and i was like oh well either way that's okay here's my
utility bill just pull that out too you just had that in your pocket i had it well yeah i had it
in my pocket because i went there and i was as i was leaving my house this morning i was like should
i bring the utility bill i don't think i need you know what let's just take it just to be
sure i get it and she asks like she's like being rude to me on the eye test thing where it's like
and these glasses are new i'm killing it she says top row all three k z b x y z a b c a hundred
percent knock them out and she gives me like a three second
pause after i finished saying it as if she's gonna be like well that was wrong she's like
okay and what do these signs mean do not enter no u-turn merge stop yield take a test you take
a test we don't know no that's just all you have to do is just say what the road signs are. And then maybe you have to take another test.
Wait, is this not normal?
Dude, they don't even know if I can fucking breathe or read.
She was fucking with you, Taylor.
It could be because I have a class A restriction for needing eyewear on my license.
And so maybe they have to re-up my eyes.
I don't fucking know.
What you're describing is almost like changing states around here it's like i've never no i've never had that here's what's important to have
your ducks in a row in north carolina when your license is about to expire look your best you're
gonna have this picture for 10 years get a haircut this is this voice of experience. I can't wait to get a new license.
This is not common knowledge.
What did you do?
I just showed up.
I just showed up, got it.
I didn't even look at a mirror first. And if I do my hair straight out of the shower,
it can be like a little too matted together or something.
It's not my favorite look.
And that's the look I've had for almost a decade.
So on Impractical Jokers, they made Murr get his driver's license picture.
Completely bald. Eyebrows, facial hair, everything like shaved by a decade. So on Impractical Jokers they made Murr get his driver's license picture. Completely bald. Eyebrows, facial hair, everything
like shaved by a professional.
And then his passport photo
is him with a full beard
and a wig. His license photo, yeah.
Though he's got one of each, so they
don't match now.
His passport is like, they're like
disguises or something that don't add up.
It's going to be a problem he tries to travel yeah he's wearing a wig in his license photo no eyebrows in the
other it doesn't look like the same person well i didn't know it was that much easier everywhere
else to get a new or do you guys have the real id thing like you need to do those i've i've just
sorry i've had an unexpired license since they introduced the real thing,
and so I haven't had to get it until now.
I think that's my position.
I don't think I have a real ID.
Well, I just got a whole new license with the motorcycle accreditation or whatever
and everything.
There was no hoops or anything to jump through.
It was a little annoying because my paperwork hadn't gone through to their system,
and my motorcycle instructor had to get on the phone with her.
It wasn't like she was being a problem.
She just didn't know what to fucking do.
I literally called him,
put him on speaker, and slid my phone
between us and between
the two of them.
My motorcycle season
is heating up and I'm excited. I have
different moto chats for friends.
I wouldn't say I didn like different moto chats for like friends that I like.
I wouldn't say I didn't maintain these friendships over the winter, but it's sort of that like one message a week kind of thing.
Now springtime and everybody's popping.
Everyone's like, we got to go here.
We got to go.
I had my eye on the Kentucky Adventure Trail.
I'm looking at the South Carolina Adventure Ride.
I'm looking at Colorado.
I'm excited because things are popping off nice i'm getting back into archery because it's finally
warm enough again i had like a like idea in my head over the winter of like i'll put on my
my warm coat and i'll go shoot my bow in the snow and it'll be like fun and relaxing. And it was horrible.
And so I,
I quit that and was like,
this will,
what am I training for the Olympics?
No,
like what was the summer thing?
Was it wearing a coat?
Cause I can imagine that being constricting in a bulky,
yucky way.
I can imagine slogging through four inches of snow to retrieve your arrows
to suck.
What sucked?
Yeah.
That the cold,
the wind,
it was just like probably it was probably 30
total minutes of like trying to convince myself i was having fun before i was like this is meanwhile
there's like hot chocolate inside yeah i'm gonna sit by the fireplace and do you have a fireplace
yeah i like fireplace i have a wood pellet fireplace where like you pour like a giant
bag of these wood pellets like smokeless pell, and then you turn it on and it gets unbelievably hot.
We should have bought that.
In my area, it's not popular, so the pellets are hard to come by, which is why we didn't.
They are not popular anywhere.
I want a coal-burning stove.
I want to go like...
Like a wood stove looking thing?
No, a coal-burning stove. I want to go like... Like a wood stove looking thing? No, a coal burning stove.
I'm not saying coal's a bad idea.
I definitely see its upside,
but I will say you got to find your source
before you buy your fireplace.
I'm thinking the source of coal?
Yes.
Oh, there's plenty of that, I think.
If you say so.
Oh, I didn't know.
You need to make sure your local tractor supply
stocks the thing that you
intend to operate.
I stand corrected.
Kyle's got a coal guy.
He's got a coal man. He's been naughty
many years.
I don't know why I'm handing
out real life tips on a
comedy show, but I can't resist
sometimes.
You're right. You need a steady supply of coal if you're going to go that route. I'm handing out real life tips on a comedy show, but I can't resist sometimes. No,
you're,
you're right.
You need a,
you need a steady supply of coal.
If you're going to go that route,
do you heat your house with it?
Or do you,
is it like a,
you know,
the day you want a fireplace source?
Uh,
we,
it was like,
uh,
for maybe a week last winter,
I think we used it to like heat the house,
but it's just
like it took too long and like the the living room would get really because i have a you know
my like 18 foot ceilings or something in my living room so it takes a bunch of skylights i've said
before the person who had my house before me was autistic for skylights there's there's between my
my my dining room living room and kitchen and area there are
eight skylights what the fuck i like it though it's nice i think they were autistic for fireplaces
i would have to think but i might have six i'm uh i'm moving uh fairly soon the lease has been up
the meet the lease has been up here but i've been like trying to be
particular about where i'm going to and uh uh so a couple months i'm going uh i'm definitely
going to get a place that has a basement though and do i think i'm gonna do a home gym
i've already got like pieces there's a few things i want to get um uh i definitely need a pack deck
um actually i i need to look at some of my other equipment and see if I've got something that'll
work as a peck deck. I've got a thing that is
one now, but it's not a good one.
I want one of those landmine
things, though. I think that could be fun.
I think there could be some interesting exercises
to do with that. One thing about the landmine,
well, if you do a basement gym, you tend
to have a lot of space. If you do a gym in a
room, then probably you've
got better climate control
but less space landmine takes almost no space it's like this big yeah so that's nice and i've
seen lots of different like attachments where you're doing everything from like squats with
land with a landmine thing to all sorts of press you like belt squats t-bar rows all sorts of stuff
on there yeah so i think that could be fun.
And just getting all of my stuff in one place will be fun too.
So yeah, I think I'm going to do that.
That'll be interesting to have everything in one place and not have to go to the gym.
I still like going, but I want to do something different.
I want to do something different, I think.
And I think it can be fun.
I do want to start doing pull-ups with rings.
I think I'm going to do that. I don don't know i think i watched a tiktok or basement ceiling might be low
for that i've got my uh i got my like crazy acrobatic fuck swing thing though that's like
it's it'll be higher like that that doesn't make the ceiling higher but i'm maybe i'm not
understanding oh i see your point yeah i don't know i've never it was in my last basement and it was high enough you could just you could even just
loop those around the ends of your car rack and then do it on your knees yeah as long as i've got
eight feet i don't want to do any kind of like weird thing where i've got a crouch i refuse
sometimes how tall is your ceiling uh is it seven maybe the basement is like seven and a half i think
yeah sometimes they do that so just a thing to think about yeah i need eight yeah yeah i mean
i can't do standing overhead presses i have to do seated overhead press because i prefer those
well i mean seated's way harder i watched like i i watch a bunch of reddit shit like crazy and
i watched a guy fail at seated overhead
press because he was in a fucking chair though
like in a chair chair
and he just fell over
like a kitchen chair?
yeah like a wooden one
I prefer to believe it was a children's kitchen chair
like a underside
an Oshkosh
Osh chair
I love Jim Phil videos
did you see the one where the guy
did you see where the guy starts me out?
Did you see where the guy's screaming to like for his tick tock?
So like,
I don't know where the camera is.
It's off to the side,
but this guy is like doing like bicep curls with like dumbbells and he's a
smaller guy and he's screaming.
I,
I can't,
when I say scream,
I mean,
scream.
It's like as loud as he can.
I wonder what he's thinking.
Well, he's trying to make a TikTok video where he's being an asshole.
Well, I would hate that.
Well, out of nowhere, out of nowhere comes The Rock's body double.
And he's just like, hey, like shoves him immediately.
What the fuck is your problem?
Can you read the sign?
And I guess the sign said, don't be an asshole or something.
I don't know.
But I probably don't scream.
And he's like, get the fuck out of here.
And like kicked him out of the gym.
It was great.
An enormous person.
He was one of the biggest human beings I've ever seen.
This isn't an example of what I'm going to say.
But I've seen these videos where a guy does deadlifts, right?
And he's not even, he's certainly not yelling yelling maybe he's not even making a sound with his body
but if people don't know the culture in deadlifts is you kind of set it down hardish
like you you lift it up fast and you drop it hard it's not like other exercises i don't know why
but controlling the weight on the way down on a deadlift is just i guess that's not how you do it
so anyway the guy's doing it.
And it wasn't like he was dropping it or anything, but he was going down smartly.
When they tell him to stop, it's always some guy who's like, I want to fight about this issue.
I'm slightly bigger than you.
I'm three inches chest to chest from you.
You've got to stop right now or else.
And I'm like, the fuck?
Why are you coming at him so hard? chest from you you've got to stop right now or else and i'm like the fuck you know like why are
you coming at him so hard the guy seemed like he was just exercising with pure motives and
they go bonkers i saw the opposite last night that's the video i linked the video by the way
um but but i saw the opposite last night this kid goes up in real life no in a video this kid goes
up and grabs like 400 pounds deadlifts it three times and uh the owner
of the gym you can hear him off camera what the fuck who's this beanpole ripping 400 like it's
nothing who is that guy because the kid did not look like he was gonna be like doing that like
he looked like a skinny kid and he fucking repped it out it was cool but nobody gave a shit because he's you know he's putting it down ka-cham ka-cham like you sit it down i i think i'm talking about the same video
woody is the the guy who's dead lifting the other guy comes from behind him and shoves him while he
has the weight up and it's like if that guy hadn't like dropped the weight correctly he could have
like he could have been seriously fucking injured like when i saw that video i was like please like
i know this is probably scripted for tiktok to try and you know cultivate who knows but please
just like call the police or something and be like there's someone at the gym endangering others
shoving them while they lift weight. Please help. Hurry.
It's just so ridiculous.
I don't get that whole culture of like,
lunk alarm, like, you're at the fucking gym.
You should be so focused on your own shit that you're not paying attention to the sound of a deadlift.
It's not your business.
As long as the guy's not being over the line annoying.
I go both ways, honestly, with that thing.
I've seen people be overly annoying and fucking weird i don't like it and i'm not even talking about
like the groaning necessarily though i've seen a couple cases of that that are just absurd um
i am louder when i'm alone um but but but like there's no need for some of that shit that people
are doing and it's like if you need to do that here, then like, you just got to go, bro.
Like, that's gross what you're doing over there.
It's weird.
And then I've also seen people that sing and stuff.
I don't like that either.
That's inappropriate.
There's a crippled guy wheeling around my gym.
I've talked about him before.
His wife is like Beth from Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Like, big fat chick with like enormous tits.
Yeah, just like obese.
And he's, you know, he's wheeling around asking people to help him sit him into machines and shit.
I'm not having that.
I'm not helping him.
And I'm tired of singing.
I don't like this singing.
I'm with both of you.
One, I don't get the singing.
Taylor, I don't get the whole lunk alarm thing either.
Maybe if I didn't see big assholes at the gym.
I get that they're trying to create a culture where people new to gyms feel comfortable.
But I didn't know that was a problem.
I feel like that's a, I don't know, something looking for a solution, looking for a problem.
Maybe that's the phrase I'm looking for.
Yeah.
People come to
gyms and the other people are nice they're supportive typically or they just stay in
their own zone one of those two i have never seen someone mock somebody else for trying to get
better yeah no if anything like i've seen like groups of guys coalesce um into like a bigger
group out of nowhere in the gym like i've seen two groups of two that are both on different bench presses
start mixing in together and cheering each other on.
Like, come on, come on, you got it.
Out of nowhere, they're all
trying to max out for some reason.
I don't want that either.
Come on, you got it, you got it.
Yeah, I do weights I can do. That's how I lift.
Well, they're over there
maxing out. They've got 300 plus pounds. They're over there. I like you know maxing out they've got like
they're 300 plus pounds they're over there like i don't know i feel like that's not how i lived
that's fair that's fair um i don't want to like really work out with anybody myself like i don't
i don't want any partners dude you're then you are in for the ultimate treat when you make the
home gym it's it's the best i can't imagine waiting in line
for a machine or asking someone how many more sets you got man almost never happens oh yeah
but you go at like such a late time even during the day though like if i had to go to the gym
it would have to be during the day like even during the day um like i can go in there at
like noon or when it's really busy and i mean like I might have to reorganize what I was going to do.
Cause like maybe the first thing I wanted to do was incline bench and
somebody's on that,
but I can just go and do something else until it opens up and like move
things around a bit.
It's not a big deal.
I'm excited.
I love gym equipment.
So when you decide like the stuff you're going to get,
send links,
I want to look at it.
Yeah.
I,
you know,
I,
I,
I,
I like eclectic stuff.
I like,
like,
like those stupid mutt dumbbells
I got. I like weird stuff like that, so I'm probably going to
continue that trend to get some other odd stuff.
Weird plates that look like pizzas.
I don't think I need plates.
I kind of wish I did need plates. I might
take my old ones and sandblast
them and coat them or something like that so they're a little
bit slimmer to hang on to. Do you have
bumpers already? Bumper plates?
Yeah, I've got a bench press and um
like a squat rack and um all that shit that was in the wings redemption like boot camp stuff like
i've got all that i have it my plates aren't interesting to look at but they um they're like
try like they have three sort of handles around like yours yeah and uh i just think they're easy
to take on and off i bet yeah i've got like whatever the standard
cheapest plates that exist are they're from like a decade ago no maybe they're old i've had them
for a long time i didn't choose mine because they were super cheap i think at the time i had to
choose them because they were in stock yeah that's going to be a tough thing because gym equipment is
still ridiculously overpriced i think a lot of stuff's in um now like when i was just like looking
around at stuff earlier i was looking at um those rings um but i saw a bunch of other stuff's in um now like when i was just like looking around at stuff earlier i was looking at um those rings um but i saw a bunch of other stuff was in like bigger stuff uh i think they're catching up
a little bit i think it's gonna be a a crazy year we're gonna see i'm wondering what's gonna happen
when the ukraine just doesn't ship out millions and millions of bushels of wheat this year like
they do every other year uh like what happens to the global like food supply nobody really seems to talk about that isn't russia the biggest producer of wheat
in the world i don't know those numbers but i know that ukraine and russia both produce huge
amounts and you would imagine that we wouldn't be getting um i'm sure we produce quite a bit
order maybe that's what it is i don't know wait taylor i didn know. Maybe it's like they're the largest net exporter
of wheat. I don't know.
Let's get some numbers,
Zach. Who produces the most
wheat in the world?
I thought I saw something like Ukraine was like number
six. That juicy, juicy wheat production.
I think it drops off
quite a bit after the first couple big
boys. I would think Ukraine
would be real high on the list
um i think that like the big part of that country which is the size of texas is like farmland that
they make wheat yeah it could be a fuck ton yeah they grow it make it yeah pink pink um china
india russia and ukraine all the down there. That's still a significant amount.
So US is four. I didn't expect that.
And Ukraine is nine.
How are we barely edging France out?
That's bullshit.
Let's get... We've got to pump these numbers up.
Pump those numbers up.
I have a theory.
Ethanol corn.
My theory is all those wheat farms
switch to corn so that they could put
bull... so they could ruin your gasoline and pretend it's saving the economy or
the environment.
I meant to say,
yeah,
yeah,
that's fair.
It'll be interesting to see what happens.
Hopefully nothing.
Maybe we'll make more wheat.
Just us.
I would think that,
well,
it just like a capitalism supply and demand thing.
Like if,
if I'm typically make asparagus every year and now I know there's going to be a wheat shortage, I might change it up.
That's fair, but it's wheat though.
So there's like a time of year you plant it and the time of year you harvest it.
And maybe it's not like maybe all the wheat there's going to be is already planted for this year.
That's a good point.
The other part is specialized equipment.
I know you need
however you get asparagus out of
the ground is probably different than wheat.
I made that
one up. It's not a good example, but work with me.
Alfalfa
is a really popular one.
People eat alfalfa?
People make alfalfa.
It might be for animals, but it's a popular
crop. It's like a silage or something.
Maybe.
Yeah.
In any case,
grains aside,
I'm hungry.
I've had like seven calories this week.
We're going to be talking about mostly barley,
but we're going to experience other cereal grains as well.
The brands,
these guys,
beer,
fish,
you don't know.
We keep it raw.
Various harvesting tactics.
It's going to be a good show.
Talk about hops. Welcome to Brand Talk.
To Brand Talk.
Alright, top five
kinds of oats, go.
Steel cut.
Quaker.
Apple cinnamon.
When you put them in a cookie If you haven't seen the first episode of Halo
Because you don't have Paramount Plus
It's free on YouTube
It must be going badly
It was initially released
I just didn't know it
I think they're doing that because so few people have Paramount+.
Smart.
Our new episode Thursday.
Very cool.
PKN398.