Painkiller Already - PKN 452

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 pkn 452 what's up boys yeah i see the nba is putting the kyle rules in into play i've been saying that pride had things right a generation ago for as long as i've known see you may not be aware taylor but in pride which is a fighting organization that makes martial arts down your pro cop i know yeah sure there you go some some fellow falls on the ground you don't say oh oh please sir hop back up let us continue this this fr No, you kick them in the face. You kick them in the face when it happens. Soccer kick them. You soccer kick them or you just stomp them. You stomp them like it's like your Marky Mark and there's a Korean in an alley. It's a bad printer.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Yeah, it's a bad printer. And yeah, no, I watched the clip from the nba last night and and homeboy is laying down on his back like is that called the key in the paint right there in the paint um after a play and and they kind of get tangled up as these guys are so gangly and misshapen uh that that happens but the one guy just intentionally stomp jumps off the other one like he used the other guy like a lily pad in a video game or something. He was going to do a double jump. Sabonis,
Starting point is 00:01:10 the white guy that got stomped. Sabonis. Good player. European guy. Anyway, the other guy, Draymond Green, I think, has a history of kicking people while they're down.
Starting point is 00:01:27 And this doesn't show it really well. Bad history. It looked like he was holding his leg. What do you mean this doesn't show it very well? This looks like he paused Mario Brothers. A few frames before this, it would have shown Sabonis kind of holding his leg. But I've watched this. There's three good angles of it.
Starting point is 00:01:44 His face. Yeah, yeah. So he stopped him. his leg but i've watched this like there's three good angles of it yeah his face yeah yeah so he stopped him i thought he got his chest but he kind of got his like belly or maybe what is that thing it's at the bottom but at the middle right like a solar plexus i think that's what i'm going for uh he kind of stopped him on that but this guy has a a bit of a kicking stomping history so he was kind of holding his leg and kind of protecting his face from the assault that was on its way. Well, dude man's defense is not up to snuff. Because clearly he got stomped anyway.
Starting point is 00:02:17 He rides around on the scene. Like everybody there is like, dude, you just stomped our boy. Is that a penalty? Is he in trouble the guy that held the foot got a foul a fragrant one and uh it was for what they call a physical taunt like he was taunting him maybe by holding his leg a little bit is how they called it the guy that did the stomping got a flagrant two which means he was ejected from the game okay so what's his punishment after that? Does he just come back the next game?
Starting point is 00:02:47 Is that how basketball handles this? That can happen if they announced. So the league is going to review it, and the executives will look at it. If they finished that already, I didn't see it. I've had today's tax day, and it's like I'm a little late on my homework. I've got to get all this shit done. It's on my homework. I got to get it done. It's what now? So I just got back from.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Dude, if you get an extension, you can panic in October. I bailed it off. I got it all done. I got hopes done, too. It's all in them. You know, I go to the actual post office, so it gets stamped. It's all finished. But that's why I'm not up to date on if they ruled on whether.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Yeah. Is there a bad reputation with like like does he have a bad reputation like oh he's very dirty a slimy player four years ago for whatever reason he kept kicking people in the balls like like he's like what no my natural shooting motion involves kind of a jump with a high kick just a high kick jump shot dude this guy basketball needs enforcers. What a bitch. What an absolute bitch. Imagine being seven feet tall and that much of a fucking loser. You're stomping on people and kicking them in the nuts.
Starting point is 00:03:54 The problem is what you need is a bigger enforcer because he's kind of the tough guy on that team. He's tough because he's seven feet tall. But there's other seven feet tall guys. He's not kicking. This is like, you know what they should do. This is just my shooting. What team is this?
Starting point is 00:04:12 What team is the, is white, white, uh, uniform white. I can't, it looks like Miami. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Yeah. Whatever team he was stopping. Miami heat. Zidane O'Chara squad is retired. The Miami heat or whoever the Miami Heat. Zidane O'Chara is retired. The Miami Heat or whoever, they need to sign Zidane O'Chara because he – That's hilarious. But he would like – Why are you kicking Khal Drogo?
Starting point is 00:04:36 That guy that he's getting kicked might be the strongest person in the NBA right now. No shit. Look at him. He's that tall and look at his calves. He's got twice the calf girth of the kicker. But this guy, Draymond Green, is kind of fearless. A lot of times when there's a seven-footer going to the hoop, a 6'5 guy will just step aside.
Starting point is 00:04:57 But he's a defensive specialist and isn't afraid to get in there. Man, I got to say, I wish... I don't know... Knock his teeth out. Yes. I don't know how his teeth out yes i don't know i don't know how an entire sport gets hurt but if that could happen like i wish that the nba would be linked with terrorism or something like you know how the wolf cola was the official cola
Starting point is 00:05:19 i wish the nba would somehow misstep and align themselves with the Taliban and have forced burka night or something. Forced burka night. And we just replaced them with cricket. They'd all be obeying for forced chopstick night. You're missing out on NBA. NBA, better than any other sport, social media. I'm not saying it's the best sport to watch.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Zach has a term for me that I hadn't heard before. It's a stats and stories fan. I read about the NBA every single day. I follow what they're doing on Instagram, what they're saying, who's going viral, who's making fake accounts being like, Oh, Kevin Durant's actually really cool. Kevin,
Starting point is 00:06:10 that's your main account. You fucked up, bro. Or Jimmy Butler and his canoe falling over. Like I'm a sucker for that shit. Basketball. I'm sorry. Hockey does not do that as much.
Starting point is 00:06:22 F1 doesn't do it barely at all. Most of the sports, football, baseball, they just don't have the social media that basketball does. So if you're a stats and stories guy, basketball is the best sport there is for it. Yeah, I just I don't care about the stories like. Like the story I care about, like from the NHL this year is literally just Connor McDavid having the highest scoring season since Lemieux in the mid nineties. Like, and that's not really a, like, that's just an exciting thing to see someone score over 150 points again.
Starting point is 00:06:50 What do you think they would all do if, if, if tomorrow everyone decided that being really fucking tall and being able to, to, to play a game that's not designed for you, isn't worth paying people millions of dollars for. And all those guys have to go like find new occupations. i'm not saying a lot of really good basketball gym teachers no no like
Starting point is 00:07:11 clearly clearly many of them would find other sports like i bet i bet a lot of them would like maybe not the majority but like i bet i bet we see lebron somewhere else you know what i mean like like he'd be lebron yeah he'd be in a field somewhere you think most of those guys are gonna go get shattered in the NFL? Dude, the entire swim team was really happy that the basketball players don't tend to swim. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:35 That's not a money thing. You're saying baseball? All right. Biggest strike zone in existence is up. You know, just kind of wing it towards him. Yeah. I mean, a lot of sports, they wouldn't suit them. Like Zdeno Chara is 6'9", 6'10", tallest player in NHL history,
Starting point is 00:07:50 and he only was able to do that so long because he's also like Eastern European jacked, can do like 30 pull-ups. Like if he were a guy who practiced jumping, like he wouldn't be able to survive in the NHL. There are a lot of basketball guys who are quite big and strong it helps to be strong the game is evolving towards big and skinny and i'm looking forward to sit there's a draft pick coming up i'm not going to get his name right wimbin yaya something very close to that and uh he's super skinny zach can you pull up a picture of this guy even a muscled version of him isn't going to look that muscled and i uh he's super skinny zach can you pull up a picture of this guy even a muscle version of
Starting point is 00:08:26 him isn't gonna look that muscled and i think he's an injury risk but he's the most hyped draft pick in since lebron 20 years i bet a bunch could go to combat because it seems like you can get wait i can get good enough to yeah yeah i i think that like a professional athlete like that can get good enough to to take on the journeyman and in two or three fucking years at like oh you're talking about hand-to-hand i'm talking about like i'm like they don't fit in tanks yeah that's oh my god no you look at this guy he's gonna get hurt, no. He's going to get hurt. Of course he's going to get hurt. Look at him. I look forward to the gif
Starting point is 00:09:10 of him kicking himself in the dick because his leg has folded in half. Yeah, keep stretching, buddy. He's going to get body slammed or whatever it's called in basketball and just crumple like a dead spider. He looks like he already has. That's so disgusting.
Starting point is 00:09:26 I think he's French. I'm not positive about that, but I think he's French. Zach, is he French? Yeah, he looks French. French, yeah. So, anyway, this is the most hype prospect that the NBA has had. Whoa, he can sell cars at a lot.
Starting point is 00:09:43 That's his future. That's what the NBA's future is if they decide it's like, a lot that's his future that's what this that's what the nba's future is if they decided you'll all be wiggling outside a car people wiggling at car dealerships yeah praying there's not rain so anyway basketball's hot right now the sixes have won their first two games the kings have won their i'm an honorary kings. I'm on the bandwagon. Kings haven't had a good year in 16 years. Their coach won two playoff games. Two. He's 2-0 in the playoffs. That makes him the second winningest coach in Sacramento Kings history. Good for him. With two wins. All it took was one to be third. These guys haven't made the playoffs in 16 years. They're typically
Starting point is 00:10:24 terrible. They're awesome this year. They're fun to watch and good to root for. These guys haven't made the playoffs in 16 years. They're typically terrible. They're awesome this year, and they're fun to watch and good to root for. Light the beam. I'm here for it. Have you been liking like you're watching the games? The end of them. I've caught a couple fourth quarters. I'm not a sit through the whole game kind of fan.
Starting point is 00:10:42 I love that you can calibrate what kind of fan you are i'm a last second i'm what i call an overtime fan i like i tune in for the shoot for the first part of the shootout what do you call an extreme bandwagon i'm the kind of fan that shows up for the fourth quarter but not the whole thing like the last like the last six minutes a winning fourth quarter no yeah i'm not looking for some miracle here i opened the espn website like six times a day and i'll be like what there's a you know a fourth quarter the king's game is going on right now fucking light the beam i'll watch the last seven minutes of this game
Starting point is 00:11:23 jackie's downstairs texting me like i sure wish you were in bed with me right now i send her a little like uh like the scoreboard in the bottom i'm like we're seven seconds away light the beam baby seven seconds away and she's like i know how much this has meant for you for the last 40 minutes since you stood up quickly from walking dead and said it's the third quarter and then and then went and slowly made a snack and then tuned in for the fourth dude that is a good way to watch sports if that's how you like it just be like oh a loss not for me not for me i'm a. Yeah, the teams I root for rarely lose. No, never.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I'm going to get a program that deepfakes blues jerseys onto whatever team I want, and then just watch Game 7, Stanley Cup Finals. Well, how's Tampa Bay doing this year? I know they're your bandwagon second. They have Game 1 against Toronto tonight. So if I was going to watch a game tonight, it would definitely be that one.
Starting point is 00:12:26 They're right behind Toronto. I think Toronto's second. Yeah, Toronto was second, only behind Boston, and the Lightning were right behind them. And because of that goofy, stupid... I hate how the NHL does their playoffs. The Leafs and the Lightning shouldn't have to play. They were both
Starting point is 00:12:43 good. It's not fair. Oh, they do suck the way they do their playoffs. It's like the second and third place team in every division has to play. You're eliminating a great team every single time. Are there three? What's less than divisions, right? Four divisions. So there's four divisions, and each of those,
Starting point is 00:13:01 wait, does that include the Western and Eastern? There's two conferences, Western and Eastern Conference, and there's two divisions within each conference thank you all right so those four teams all get great seeds the problem is the winner of one of those divisions might not be as good as two and three in the other division yeah but they get seated higher than the second best team in division a or whatever it's only one in eight like one in eight three and six basketball does that and basketball does another thing that i kind of like like if the eighth best team beats the first best team they inherit their favorable schedule which allows for more cinderella runs you know like you beat you knock off the top team suddenly you get the easiest run to the finals and it's kind of neat to watch that go down yeah whereas sometimes like all right top ranked team gets lowest available
Starting point is 00:13:51 ranked and they go at it and that doesn't lead to many cinderellas when you have like the hardest schedule no matter what dude uh midi's team won last night and uh they won around 110 in the morning in like triple overtime. It's a playoff, so it just keeps going. Game one. I'm hoping for the Minnesota Wild to do something. Those poor Minnesota fans. Every once in a while, last year for the playoffs,
Starting point is 00:14:20 Middy would jabber with me a little bit because the Blues and the wild were like playing each other and you know how there are in sports there are teams where like it used to be like in the early 2000s when i saw the blues were playing the sharks in the playoffs i'm like we're not going to win even if we're higher seated they always just have our number okay last year and every other year like seemingly like minnesota gets paired. When the Blues got fed Minnesota last year, I'm like, second round it is. Hell yeah. Colorado's on the table. And so he was talking shit. And a couple times I was like, yeah, you guys have a real good team.
Starting point is 00:14:54 You can tell that the trash talk isn't going well when he's like, we're coming back. We're bringing the series back. And I'm like, you guys got a great team, man. Like a real good. Don't be down on yourself. You should feel good about how hard you tried. And, like, Minnesota fans take it so bad because they're fucking fiends for hockey.
Starting point is 00:15:11 So, I'm team. Well, I don't really want them to win the cup. But I hope you get past the first round, Minnesota. I'm also pulling for the Toronto Maple Leafs. They haven't got past the first round in fucking decades. So, it would be sweet if they could make it. Yeah. It's the New York of hockey.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Like they they're playing the lightning and I like the lightning, but they've won two cups recently. Like, come on, a little little new blood. Canada hasn't had a cup in 20 years now since 1992. Get on board. I'll wait and see. No, they're already one game up over the the new jersey devils right i'm aware yeah no it's the devils and rangers playing oh man i've already talked way too much about hockey i can read that's all right we'll get to start next generation soon enough
Starting point is 00:15:55 and you know i actually i really good like usually like i i love playoff hockey. And so I'll watch games of teams that I'm not. So part of me enjoys more watching non-blues teams because I can just enjoy the hockey instead of like getting stressed about it. But tonight, I don't think any game stands up to my desire to train and improve with the Ogre Kingdoms on Warhammer 3. That's my agenda. I want to talk about that, but did you see the like, I don't even want to call it deep take, the AI PKA? Yeah. I skipped through
Starting point is 00:16:34 it. Yeah, Taylor was doing accents in it, and the conversation didn't quite make as much sense as a real one, but it was pretty good. I think we should all take a week off. You shouldn't do it i liked the little like banter things were like at one point i came back and i was like oh wow that sounds crazy kyle what are you talking about and kyle's like oh allow me to catch you up real quick
Starting point is 00:16:56 and then like you just said it again i'm like this is so fucking bizarre and i'm like just hearing my own ai voice being like goddamn God damn, that's retarded. Your AI voice dropped into the Moontumbo accent. I'm like, what? I don't like this for our job security guys.
Starting point is 00:17:18 We've got to tune it in a little bit. Let's let it do all the work. No, I thought it was pretty funny. I liked it a lot. The Joe Rogan was funny too. I've seen a bunch of them. a little bit just let it do that do all the work no i thought it was pretty funny i liked it a lot the joke i saw yeah i've seen a bunch of them it's uh i like all the david attenborough stuff um there's a bunch of stuff that's about um the warhammer universe but it's with david attenborough's accent oh i linked you one but the other day it's like the tyranids are an intergalactic race of swarming insects they spray their spores on a planet spreading them far and wide and it's you're just like yeah it's it's
Starting point is 00:17:56 like nature it actually sounds like david attenborough so it adds this level of production value and then they're editing in all the visuals and everything. It's like you're watching a David Attenborough documentary about a fictional race of monsters. It's very fun. I like all that stuff. It is a shame that because there's a guy out there who can just do that accent like you can. And now that guy is not needed anymore. We don't need him.
Starting point is 00:18:20 We've got a button. We've got a U button guy who has accents. Soon they're gonna have i mean they've already if they feed all the episodes in they'll be able to do all sorts of shitty awful impressions yeah they'll be able to do well yeah mcgumby and indian guy not both of them not mcgumby and indian guy i can't get both of those in one. No, I like that stuff a lot. I guess you feed it all the information, or not information, but the audio, right?
Starting point is 00:18:53 Like you're giving it all that to sample from? Like the person who linked it at me or someone else mentioned that it was just from one episode. Maybe that's wrong. Oh my God. But I think it was just from one episode maybe that's oh my god but i think it was one episode one so i mean if it improved if two episodes and it's a little better a thousand episodes and is it so good that it's just us or is it that a thousand episodes introduces so many
Starting point is 00:19:18 disjointed topics that to try and condense it down into an episode makes it more nonsensical. What if we are a deepfake AI that has seen a thousand episodes of The Real Guys show? That, if I don't know that's what I am, does it mean I'm in a way kind of immortal and I'm living in a form of stasis that I don't realize time's not passing? The silly idea of you is immoral. Do you read what Zach wrote?
Starting point is 00:19:45 Zach wrote, an AI doesn't write it. The guy's writing a script for the voice AI. Mm-hmm. Oh, damn. Is that the case with all of them? Because I saw the one where we did the trial, and that was obviously the... Oh, I like the trial one, too.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Oh, this was like an AI script that they gave to an AI voice. He says 95% of them. I was under the impression that one of them was like just sort of watched a show and made something that was like our show. But the trial one was... I saw that on Rick and Morty.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Well, yeah. They're taking the audio that is a transcript for a court transcript. Rick and Morty took a court transcript and inscribed it themselves and theny took a court transcript i didn't say it right to themselves and then animated it so they're just feeding us in and yeah they did so we did what rick and morty did kind of it wasn't us though well i got bamboozled i thought that was like i really did i thought that was like an ai script that it made up
Starting point is 00:20:41 dude everyone says ai is so great yet yet 100% of the time I've tried to use it, it kind of shit. I think the only way I've used it and seen it used is like, oh, that's really neat. You can tell there's a lot more functionality and practical uses for it, but the best use I've seen so far is
Starting point is 00:21:00 all the former presidents playing Nazi zombies going for Easter eggs. That was pretty funny. Pretty great. Arguing about which staff they get, which part of the Easter egg they do, what's glowing or not or whatever. Yeah. Bad impression. I'm the host.
Starting point is 00:21:12 I get the way that doesn't talk to. It was cool. The first time I saw it, but now I'm over it. And what else are we offering here out of AI? Have you ever gotten into a hobby? It'll be cool. And then you go to like whatever, the gun forms
Starting point is 00:21:28 in my case, the fish forms or whatever. And part of the job is to look at 28 people giving you advice and figuring out which ones are worth listening to. That's a thing that you have to do when you learn online. AI just takes those 28 things, combines them, and spits it back out at you. It's like a summary tool. Well, the very particular part of a very specific AI that answers questions does that. But AI in general,
Starting point is 00:21:58 there's lots of uses. I keep hearing every day it passes a new test whether it's medical or legal or something like that. It's passing those with flying colors or when it's just doing people's, I hear about people who have like three or four jobs and they're just using AI to do the work. They're just feeding it the first part. And I don't know, it seems like it does.
Starting point is 00:22:21 That seems sustainable. An entire economy of faking it. It's just another tool, right? It's like an assistant. An assistant that can... You hear this, Taylor? You can get more jobs. I was going to say you should step it up. I was reading an article about people who will have three, four, five, six jobs,
Starting point is 00:22:46 and they're using AI to do those jobs for them. They're just sort of managing AI while it works. There are multiple jobs they have. Yeah, but I mean, is that like a real trend? Or is that like some person who is like, Timothy Stevenson works five jobs until this article airs. Like, it's like, no, of course. I just think it's indicative that
Starting point is 00:23:11 the thing has lots of uses, that it's good at everything, and the fact that the thing is so much... Or no, wait, it actually is. It's not good at video game planning, but it's good at, like, Call of Duty and shooting games, obviously. Like, I see why.
Starting point is 00:23:28 And again, it depends on what AI we're talking about. If we're talking about the AI that we question and it gives us back information, that's sort of like what he said, just sort of combining the information of the internet. Or if we're talking about, I saw a channel that sort of, the AI learns to like be Spider-Man or whatever,
Starting point is 00:23:44 learns to web sling. And it's like, here's how the AI learns to like be Spider-Man or whatever, learns to web sling. And it's like, here's what it, here's how the AI, um, did web sling. And after 10 tries and it falls, it's splat.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Here's 10 million. And, and all of a sudden he's Spider-Man he's swinging. He's like, he's naturally learned how to swing like a spider through the streets. You know, there's that kind of sort of learning and problem solving as it goes by running just by practice, by doing it over and over and removing all the failures.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Did it just brute force the learning though? And does that apply to the next situation? Because when you learn to web slang, then I can take you and put you in a different city and you're still competent. You've still learned a lot. If I take an AI and say, solve this maze, and it just goes every direction in this maze until eventually it finds the fewest turns to get to the end,
Starting point is 00:24:37 that's cool. But you're not. You haven't become good at solving mazes. I can put you in a new maze and you'll suck. But see, that's an incredibly applicable thing in its own right. And it's great. Like the traveling salesman problem.
Starting point is 00:24:51 If AI did that, that's problem solved because now the humans can still do the creative thing. And the AI can be over here brute forcing the dumb thing. Yeah, we just need to get from point A to point B. Figure that out over there. Alright, let me try it 10 million times. This is the best way. It's like Doctor Strange. He's like, i did it 10 million ways in my head there's only one way
Starting point is 00:25:09 this works out all right let's do it that way you're gonna have to get cooked alive inside your armor like game of thrones style whoa whoa whoa what's are there any like second bests i wonder if how does mapping software work like my guess is it works like I would do it. Like, all right, Kyle, we need to get you to Colorado tomorrow, and you're going to drive. Okay, let's get him from his house to a major interstate, put him on that for 2,000 miles, and then do the – so I really only solve the two ends, and the middle is a big, long thing.
Starting point is 00:25:42 What if they were like, huh huh let's try 10 000 solutions and find the best way and maybe there is something better than just staying on 40 or 20 the whole yeah well you know that's kind of like what ways is yeah i only use ways but but it's constantly like we found oh it turns out you don't even know if you go through trailers backyard i can save you 13 seconds yeah everybody's saving a lot of time today like yeah the ways is great it comes with all i don't it there's a little mini game in ways where like if you if you interact it's like giving you candy or something and i'm like yeah yeah like they want you to play along right they want you to fucking let them know if there's cops and if there's road debris.
Starting point is 00:26:27 And every hundred meters, your car runs over a piece of candy and you get some more points. And I'm over there like, dude, this is going to be candy crush all over again. I'm not going to stop. I was looking at the candy coming up on the road and I was like, I need to pull over. But I want the candy. It's kept driving.
Starting point is 00:26:43 It's got to be some kind of a partnership with British Petroleum. It shows you where the other Waze drivers are too, right? I haven't noticed that if it does. I haven't looked at any of the features. I wouldn't care for that. I don't want them to be able to see me. You drive around and you're like, hey, you know
Starting point is 00:27:00 one in every ten people on this interstate is using Waze. I'm asking my wife, what are these other things? She's like, ways people ways people they're wazers wave i just love not having to worry about cops like i i haven't been pulled over in a very long time but i mean i keep my eyes open i'm always looking in the rearview mirror to make sure there's not one a quarter mile back and so i can do my 10 over but that thing just lets you know if they're anywhere ahead of you it's great apple maps does that too i couldn't tell you which is better i only use apple maps kyle you dog-faced pony soldier i need me some of those werther's original joe biden just jumped in joe biden
Starting point is 00:27:42 said kyle you dog- you dog-faced pony soldier. Which is one of my favorite Joe Biden quotes of all time, honestly. It is a solid one. Like ripping someone mid-stroke. Dog-faced pony soldier. You know, we didn't talk about the Fox News thing yet. Did you guys see they settled with Dominion? I have not.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Fox News is paying out $787,500,000 to Dominion for telling lies about the election loss. I'm always curious about specific amounts like that. I don't know how they got to $787,500,000. Wait, yeah, $787,500,000. So it's just a little it's a bit under A billion dollars uh Dominion had them dead to rights Apparently it's really hard to win a
Starting point is 00:28:31 Uh a defamation case Especially when you involve like public figures Like that but um They had 7021 Pieces of evidence that Fox News Was telling lies on air with like Malicious intent yep and Uh apparently they Fully knew the machines were pieces of evidence that Fox News was telling lies on air with like malicious intent. Yep.
Starting point is 00:28:50 And apparently they fully knew the machines were reliable. What a terrible tactic. Texts and emails. They were saying that this is crazy. There's no evidence. Giuliani and what was her name? Sidney Powell. Maybe those attorneys were like full of shit and lying.
Starting point is 00:29:06 But then they would go on air and tell those lies or give them a platform in which they could tell those lies. We'll find out eight years from now that it was all true. No, we won't. We definitely won't do that. Donald Trump won both times by a land slice. No, all four times. A third time will be the last time, I promise. That's when the republic began. When a company pays out almost a billion dollars in cash,
Starting point is 00:29:25 does that hurt a company like Fox? Or do they have like $37 billion and now they have $36? I don't think that hurts them at all. That's not an amount that hurts News Corp. They didn't go to the bank and get that money. They didn't just, let me write you a check. I don't know how they finance that. How much does News Corp owe?
Starting point is 00:29:46 Oh, shit. Fox News only has about $4 billion in cash They wouldn't pay cash What do you think they would pay? I don't know how they do that There's some smart New York intellectuals who will figure that out But that's Fox Just Fox News
Starting point is 00:29:59 The parent company Has more money I would imagine Because isn't News Corp a huge media conglomerate that owns lots of other properties? Perhaps. Just a billion dollars just doesn't seem like it would be a problem for Fox News. And like I said, I mean, good. That was such a stupid strategy.
Starting point is 00:30:19 It seemed like they were like, oh no, the Dems have gotten this mail-in voting thing really cooking. And here it is, COVID times. I don't know about the turnout with our oldies. Let's just pretend like the whole voting system is wrong. That'll do it. We'll tear it all down from the top, and they'll let us install a new system. They'll be okay with us not counting millions of votes.
Starting point is 00:30:41 That was never going to be a winning strategy. Putting doubt on the voting system can only make your base not show up and make theirs show up. If the guy I'm supposed to trust, if I trust Donald Trump, if I'm one of those people who thinks he's my savior or whatever and not the best fucking comedian
Starting point is 00:30:59 of the 21st century. You're catching straights here. Carry on. If I'm one of those people, then I'm like, well, Donald says him dominion folks not only will they not count my vote they have my information then nope they're gonna give it right to hillary and then she's gonna sell it to him he's still alive you know in his submarine
Starting point is 00:31:18 and that's true they'll come for little bessie they'll come for you girl i won't be getting yeah they'll take you away from me, that sexy little ass girl. I mean, that is like a very salient, simple way to put it. Like, if you tell people like, this whole thing doesn't even matter. Like, they're going to go,
Starting point is 00:31:36 okay, I guess this whole thing doesn't matter. And then the other side's like, it matters desperately. You have to. Like, marketing, advertising, messaging is unbelievably important in how you get people's behavior to change. Do you remember Vote or Die? The last TV thing?
Starting point is 00:31:55 Yeah. Yeah, that was the last left voting campaign. Vote or Die. Yeah. And then South Park had the parody where... Vote or Die, motherfucker, motherfucker, Vote or Die. Vote or Die, motherfucker, motherfucker Voter die, motherfucker Voter die Or I stick a fucking knife in your eye
Starting point is 00:32:10 Or something like that And he has the knife That's a good one I forgot about that I'm watching The West Wing, which is from the year 2000, literal quarter century ago almost.
Starting point is 00:32:27 The way it's used these days, anyhow. Man, it's interesting. First of all, the president in that show is played by Martin Sheen. Wish he was my president. He's so good. He's so smart. He's the smartest guy in every room. He's so self-righteous.
Starting point is 00:32:44 He's the guy. Buteous. He's the guy. But he's right all the time. He's very rarely... I don't agree with him on guns. That's bad writing, though. The character, if he were real, would be... He would still be anti-gun, but he would be for a more
Starting point is 00:33:00 clearly written way. Anyhow. Great, great show. I love the president and it makes me almost patriotic. Not almost. Watching that show makes me love America more because it's an idea of a much better America.
Starting point is 00:33:16 What season are you in? Two? I've seen it through plenty of times. It's quite good. I like all the cast um rob lowe is like the the speech writer and he's he's fucking fantastic a little question for you yeah so for people that don't know this show really well there's a plot line where i think american astronauts get stranded in space and the white house throws up their hands and says oh man wish i could do something but uh you know it sucks dude's gonna die so a top executive from the white house leaks that there is
Starting point is 00:33:56 a secret space shuttle that if they wanted to they could use to save this guy thank god yeah and now there becomes this public pressure to save this guy and i think they do and the question is like is that guy an enemy of the state they needed that space shuttle he's a traitor he does life in prison in my world if i'm like chief justice or whatever like okay executive officer you are a traitor to your country. You just leaked the fact that we have a secret CIA space plane. Do you know why we have a secret CIA space plane? Do you think it's for taking little
Starting point is 00:34:31 trips out into space for shits and giggles? No, it's for national defense. It's for fighting the fucking Ruskies off when our nation is on the line. Indirectly saving a lot more than one person. They know about it, they can make weapons against it and now they know about it. They're looking at it right now. You did that. You do life in in prison i don't care about three fucking astronauts i care about 300 million americans and the world that is safeguarded by them so fuck you do life in prison
Starting point is 00:34:55 okay i think both positions leave them up there well yeah they they stay up there and they die that's how that works yeah that's life in prison that's what they signed up it's life in space life in space that's all those guys are fucking air force i mean maybe there was there i don't know maybe there's a school teacher up there too on that particular one can you imagine a scarier other than being out in the middle of the ocean can't see land yeah imagine being out in space and just knowing no one can get you even if you're on like a space station you just look out you see the yeah see the like i've always said that's one of my biggest nightmares i don't know i would think that's so lonely and horrifying it's so lonely and horrifying yeah i think dying in the ocean is just an extended version of that you just you dive
Starting point is 00:35:41 really slowly you dry out i agree you eventually make the bad decision to drink seawater. It's just a terrible, awful death. Where's the space? At least you're kind of cool until then. Rescue's possible on the ocean. They're having those cases where dudes like you die in space. Those people drink eagle blood
Starting point is 00:36:01 and turtle blood shit that make it hundreds of days. That's happened multiple times so you've got a chance maybe a big maybe in a shipping lane you you kind of float into one of those but even enough tools to collect rainwater yeah i want i want nasa to come clean about all of the undoubted fucked up animal experiments they did with with poor monkeys and cats and stuff in space they they do come clean they talk about but didn't you just recently see that picture of the first monkey that they got
Starting point is 00:36:29 back and it was he's holding okay yeah yeah he's holding a paper it's like he's holding a paper he's holding the newspaper about himself and it says space monkey comes home and he's going you know like they do and he's holding the paper. Now they sent a lot. They sent several dogs and some other shit up there. And they were never planning on bringing them home. No, it's like, how long can a chimp survive in a vacuum? Not long, doctor.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Not a vacuum, not a vacuum. They had the air that was in the capsule, but they would either get cooked on re-entry or just run out of air and no they were doing fun they were like like doing that uh train show where they stick the arms of the chimps outside into the vacuum space to see oh they don't do that that's a good show by the way i'm okay with dogs and chimps getting cooked on re-entry so long as like the native americans they used every piece of the dog and chimp every little bit you got to eat it all use the bones for your tent stuff like that i would be okay with it if it was cats there's no way that program off the ground i don't think that dogs teach us anything
Starting point is 00:37:34 that killing cats couldn't i'd kill 10 000 cats just to make a dog smile i'd kill i'd do it for free. Yeah, I'd do it for free. What if the dogs are kids? No smile required. Bring me the cat. I'd pay no more than 20 ed. I just think cats... Cats are so high on their high horse. They think that they're our equals at the very least.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Totally. They've got that smarmy, smug kind of look to them. Your dog knows you're the fucking boss. He might goof around with you a little bit, but he's so complimented every time you scritch him on the head. He's like, the Lord hath touched my crown. He tells the others, he touched me on the head you see he touches us all i know isn't he great like that's how dogs are you know yeah that cattle
Starting point is 00:38:31 eat your face off when you go down we were talking about this on uh in the discord the other day you have a heart attack right now i kind of painted my arm the other day and i went is this it you go down you go down cardiac arrest arrest like fucking pulmonary embolism whatever bam you're dead oh that cat's going right for your lips it's eating your luscious sexy lips right off your face your dog corpse dog your dog your dog will save some of its food because it knows you're sick and it hopes that when you do wake up eventually, you'll eat some of its food and feel better. That's what a dog would do. Your dog's saving some stuff for you.
Starting point is 00:39:10 He's trying to get help. I was with you until you suggested the dog save food. I haven't seen that. That won't happen. Maybe not that. You can give a cat a week's worth of food in its bowl and it will take a week to eat it. If you put a week's worth of food in a dog bowl, that shit's gone. It's vomit very soon.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Then he'll come back, put me in coach, I can eat the rest. Apparently that's like if you just were to make if you're like, alright dogs, welcome to the steak room and you just let a bunch of dogs into a steak room, many of them would eat themselves to death.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Like freaking out i'm trying to think of some of the the which i guess the greatest hits for of the things i've come down and found my dogs with um because you know i come up here put this headset on i play a game or whatever i go downstairs and the dog's got an entire bottle of selenium he has chewed open and the little capsules are stuck to his little jowls all around the side. They're just because you can imagine you wet your finger and touch a capsule. It sticks to it. And he stinks like I can't describe the smell of these pills.
Starting point is 00:40:13 It's a supplement, but they have a really powerful odor. And now he stinks like it. And they're all in his fur because his fur was moist. So they're all melted into his fur. He's just dreadful. They'll knock glasses over i'm bad to take like a a juice glass or whatever it puts like some some ice and water or whatever ice and soda on the on the side of the couch it's like on the couch like very precariously because i'm a
Starting point is 00:40:36 fucking adult i would i have never knocked my own drink over never that dog comes through and bats it with his tail on purpose i swear to god he's broken four glasses at least i'm always stepping and i've stepped in glass twice because of him he dropped a big heavy toy from on top of the staircase and it rolled down the stairs and got up enough momentum to like break some artwork that was on the wall. It was a bull's head, like the skull with the horns attached. The horns knocked off because this fucker dropped the toy
Starting point is 00:41:12 from the top of the stairs and it rolled all the way to the bottom with such vigor that it knocked the fucking head off the wall. He's a menace. Now you need a new bull head for your wall. I just glued it back on. Oh, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:41:23 As long as you have the bull. That sounds very Warhammer, very intense i like that very warhammer i think you're looking for a segue that's not there no it's gonna happen because we're talking about it now like have we we played last night me and kyle and, and Fish, God bless him, is doing his best. And the first couple games, 2v2, was Kyle and I versus those two. And after a couple of those of just absolute spankings, Robot, very kindly, not wanting to be like, anyone but Fish on my team!
Starting point is 00:42:00 He was like, let's do random rolls. And so he got this little... No, he said, let's mix the teams No, he said let's mix the teams up. Yeah, let's mix the teams up. And I said the only way I will mix them up is if it's random. So there's still a chance I get to play with Taylor. And so he made this pinwheel, I guess where you can hit it and it spins. And it was just the first two people are on a team.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Fish and Kyle. And I'm like, all right, me and robot taking on fish and kyle and uh i think that was the one that was actually a reasonably close game and kyle must have told fish in increasing levels of exasperation he was like kyle or fish you got to take this guy on point one and move him off of move that guy next to point one put Put him on point one on point one. Taylor's taking it on point. And then Kyle goes back to do his thing. Comes back.
Starting point is 00:42:49 He's like, Fish, I need I need this guy on point one point one. Do you see him here? Do you see he's near this guy of mine? And Fish is like, OK, I got it. And then he looks back and I'm just beating his guys to death. Minutes, full minutes, Of a soldier, of like a group of his soldiers standing there like this. As like, because they haven't been
Starting point is 00:43:10 told to attack, so my ogres are just eating them and beating them. Please, sir, let us defend ourselves! At one point, Kyle was really winning his side of the battle and you guys were winning.
Starting point is 00:43:26 And unknown to you, I had knocked Fish back off the point because you were distracted with Robot. And about three real-time minutes passes, which is an enormous amount of time in this game, and Fish didn't say a word. And I was like, I'm not going to mention out loud to Robot that I took one back because I don't want Kyle to know. And Kyle looks back and is like, Fish, did you just lose one?
Starting point is 00:43:45 He's like, No, that was a while ago. He's like, Oh, oh, Fish, oh. To give you a little context to this, this is the third game that he's describing. This is the third game we play in a row where I have gotten
Starting point is 00:44:00 Fish, and so I am coaching him up more and more exasperated. i'm getting angry i'm yelling i'm yelling better yeah lots of things like dozens and dozens of things he can do better no why like he's not stupid i don't think like why is he so i mean don't put me in a position where i have to say yes he is um he's not good at games he'll say a lot he'll struggle with our stupid he just bad at things that take him he's a stats and stories kind of gamer you know he's not all nuts and balls i want to be k's teammate. And then he'll be like, Woody, take one.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Nah, soon. Get one. Yeah, I'm more of a fourth quarter player. This is it. I'm stocking up. There's three periods, Woody. There's not four quarters. Yeah. It's the third game. We've lost multiple games in a row. And they're not blowouts.
Starting point is 00:45:03 I'm getting them to like... I'm coaching a much worse player up to almost getting these two. And I'm enjoying it. I'm taking him to a secret room and I'm like, I'm building his armies for him. And I'm like, this is important. This key concept, this is how this works. I've built a machine for you. You do this and that. This and that.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Over and over. over and over. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay. And we get in there, and it's going well. What we do, the Domination Flags 1, 2, 3, ABC, whatever you want to call it, are on this map. Two of them are in a line. I can go one straight to three because two is way off to the left. So that's my plan.
Starting point is 00:45:42 We're going to their spawn. We're not playing in the middle of the map. I'm like, you build this little army, you're not stopping at your first flag fish. You don't care about that flag. You want their flag. You're going to their house. He's like, okay. And so he moves his giant, he's got a giant
Starting point is 00:45:58 spider the size of a house, and he's got multiple guys on horses and pigs, and he's got green goblin men with big swords. And I've thrown in some of my black god of Naggarond, dark elf badasses with halberds. And I brought a dragon to fly over him. And this army is going to push their shit in while I use my left hand to fight the other player.
Starting point is 00:46:20 And it's working! It worked so long that I was like we fucking did it we fucking did it and in that moment of of celebration i i lost focus and we lost that's literally what happened i i lost focus for one minute i clicked maybe two buttons wrong and didn't look at what he was doing and we lost in those 20 seconds and when i he was like what can we do and i'm like what do you mean it's over it was over a minute and a half ago that's how this shit works this isn't one of those games where you can just be like nope you're all dead it's like that was it's an army coming over the horizon that you mentioned yeah i look at taylor's army and suddenly it looks like the
Starting point is 00:47:03 ride of the Rohirrim. Gandalf is coming down the fucking mountain with the sun behind him. And Fish's army is all like fleeing into the trees. The spider's dead. You would think he'd have mentioned when the giant spider died. Anywho, we're going to play some more tonight. I'm going to coach that little bastard up. He took Kyle very literally at one point when Kyle was like, every single unit you have on the one flag.
Starting point is 00:47:30 And it was like too early for a last stand. And so I got to use my fire belly ogre wizard who just summons big firestorms. And Fish refused to move any of his soldiers out of the path of destruction. If Kyle would have seen a spell coming in, he would have instantly moved them a bit and then put them back on the point, you know, like you do. But no, Fish's goblins would not be swayed by the firestorms consuming them. And that spell is actually called Firestorm.
Starting point is 00:48:00 It is a tornado made of fire that kind of hangs out for 35 to 55 seconds. And all of Fish's soldiers stared at it and dared it to come towards them. And it did. That was great. Because every once in a while, the spell goes off like that, and you get to see the value meter go brrrrrrrr!
Starting point is 00:48:20 It's very satisfying. That's one of the most fun parts of that game. game is like a really good spell going off dude i'm in such an autistic tism over there that i don't look at any of that stuff i'm just click click click click click click click click you guys and i'm having to watch him too subreddit not the subreddit discord what what was the question i asked if you live stream oh yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll have a whole crowd and it's always in there like right after this i'm going in there and they're waiting on me like we'll get
Starting point is 00:48:46 a we'll get two or three of those guys together yeah will you be playing two hours from now i would imagine so yeah i like how he answered that like oh i don't know i am a real adult so perhaps later in the evening i'll yes he'll be playing all
Starting point is 00:49:02 fucking night i will be playing all as long as taylor's single until his autism goes away yeah taylor's got that legal missouri weed and i can hear him over there smoking it up and then 15 20 minutes later a question will come taylor's way and instead of his normal bubbly like quick wit itself he's like yeah yeah that's okay okay all right yeah it definitely makes me worse at rds good somebody needs to shove a caps caffeine capsule up fish's asshole i'm gonna it's real frustrating for your teammate to let you down in that game. I feel bad when I do poorly.
Starting point is 00:49:48 But yeah, real fun game. You know what we need to do? We need to make friends with that Turin guy. Let's get him on as a guest and not talk about the silly game that 50 people enjoy. I hear you loud and clear. But I think he's an interesting guy. I think maybe we get him on for an hour or two, talk about his life. I want to hear about his wife.
Starting point is 00:50:04 I want to hear about his dog wife i want to hear about his dog i want to hear about the so he's an rts player woody who earns his money on youtube streaming you know playing this rts game and basically being the ambassador of the community to ca the developer he's the guy he's the voice of their streams and their tournaments um and he's built that since 2016 or so um but he has this uh i don't know exactly but he has an issue I don't know exactly, but he has an issue with his hands that required a surgery. He was essentially crippled for a long time where he couldn't play RTS. There's so much clicking. And the community sort of threw him on their back
Starting point is 00:50:38 and just gave him content for him to sort of talk over. Yeah, it was really cool to see. I remember that. That was four or five years ago or something like that when he had that hand surgery. And I don't think they're 100%, but now he's able to sort of play as much as he would like to, to run it as a business.
Starting point is 00:50:54 He's very good at the game. Yeah, and he's a nice, well-spoken guy. I like that guy a ton. And very knowledgeable. I appreciate that, watching an RTS commentator, because they can... It's not like Call of Duty. It's more like he can be like,
Starting point is 00:51:11 oh, that special regiment of renown? You may not know this. It has this ability, and that's going to mean this. He's like a sports broadcaster. You know how a sports broadcaster... Oh, yep, that's Josh Elliott right out of Penn State. You know, he's been here before Mike back in 03. And they have all those little tidbits.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Now, they're reading cue cards, but he just knows that shit about every little unit on the field. And so it informs you where he'll be like, oh, dude, this player, he's running those ogres in, but that swordsman unit has 48 melee defense. That's not going to go well. And then he goes to some other part of the map, comes comes back and exactly what he said was going to happen happens every time that fight's not going to go well oh that one is because this is coming in you know what he should
Starting point is 00:51:52 have done here is this and like it's just easy to watch and be like oh yeah yeah okay i'm gelling i'm picking it up so yeah yeah you pop in there woody will um i was thinking of playing that we're gonna be uh playing that game we we ought to pop in there a lot we um we always stream the uh the ufc fights it's uh it's fun to watch with those guys in there um i don't stream but one fish does i think um and uh i like watching with a group of people i think i think that's my preferred way to watch ufc um i i usually just watch by myself or with a girlfriend or something like that but I like watching with them and hearing what other people are thinking
Starting point is 00:52:29 while we're watching it because it's a much better environment it sounds like fun did you guys watch that video I sent you three weeks ago of Sailing La Vagabonde no I have not seen anything from them in a while I didn't see the video
Starting point is 00:52:44 Riley beats up six monkeys simultaneously. Really? Did they have it coming? Yes. Yeah, they were trying to murder his son. So he like got in between the monkeys and his child and just like swatted them all
Starting point is 00:52:59 away. And then he had like it was either him or somebody with him had a backpack and like wallet and keys and shit like that. And the monkeys were trying to take that. By the way, no food in this backpack. But they're trying to take their wallet and keys and stuff, things they really needed. So Riley had to wade into. I don't think there might have been 20 monkeys, yeah not all 20 like simultaneously attack but he's
Starting point is 00:53:25 literally like giving right hooks to the jaw of monkeys while he's like battling in there grabbing keys and shit like that how big are the monkeys yeah like i don't know oh pretty punch they're not they're not like those baboon faced things that we saw scalp that that person are they they have the teeth they did have like scary looking teeth and i don't know my monkeys that well i can tell you they weren't chimps or gorillas or anything but yeah i don't know my i feel like though sometimes when we talk about wild animals i'm always like dude i could beat up any 13 pound animal in the world and you guys are like no you don't understand monkey strength he'll scalp you and i'm like i feel like i could bam bam a 13 pound monkey i don't understand how i lose to this thing and uh yeah there you go look at him he probably just punched out one of those monkeys
Starting point is 00:54:15 look at him they're standing up to him that's all right what i like about that's cool unlike a lot of animal attacks these animals are are all engaged. And like, yeah, bring it, big monkey. There's like eight of us. Look at the little ones in the back watching on the rocks. They're hoping that the big ones win this fight and they get to get the genitals. Dad, no, he's bigger than you. I got rabies. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:54:39 That would be the fear of fighting a monkey. Bit. Being bit. I would throw my child into the water. His wife was in the water. She heard the screaming and she comes like, oh, it's his thumbnail. And she was swimming back as fast
Starting point is 00:54:54 as she could because she heard the commotion. But there was an equally hot woman on the beach who was his wife's friend or something like that. Even bigger nipples. Fuck yeah. Man, that's a fun life experience looking back, I'm sure. Type two fun.
Starting point is 00:55:10 I see what you're saying. Say the words, Taylor. I won't say it. I won't say it. I will not typify the fun. Yeah, with those size monkeys, you wouldn't be scared they'd kill you but like if if a feral little monkey bites you like yeah you're immediately like hospital now that
Starting point is 00:55:34 guaranteed that thing has a litany of dangerous stuff like if this if this is one of those things that isn't taken care of like today i'm gonna have i'm gonna have probably died untreated i bet a monkey bot you die like like i bet you're right yeah if those fangs go you know an inch or two deep you get an infection where you fucking die like you have you uh i wouldn't doubt it i've shared that same fear about small sharks you know people when i was a surfer people would be like dude that shark's four foot long Its mouth is only large enough to bite your forearm and leave a bunch of puncture holes, but it can't remove your forearm. And I was like, even that injury you're describing sounds unacceptable. Yeah. I want all of my fingers and toes at the end of this session.
Starting point is 00:56:17 It'd be a cool scar. It'd be a cool scar. Like, I don't want it either. I don't want it either. But a little shark bite, like, on your, like, delt. I'm getting that tattoo i'm gonna lie and say it is a fucking shark i'm gonna get scarification drunk on a dock do it just do it but but i'm gonna make it look like a fucking great white bit me across my whole torso i'm like yeah yeah i saw uh it was a male porn star too far and you like to form yourself he thought he had me i had him we're talking about scars this male porn star had a
Starting point is 00:56:54 scar on his chest and like uh sideways on his belly button on his stomach i guess and maybe here yeah he had it looked like he survived an autopsy oh this guy and it wasn't um poor guy yeah yeah and no you're saying poor guy no this was clearly a scar he had done scarification for aesthetic gross yeah this is like a kind of tattoo and um i found the porn on a reddit thing and all the women thought it was fucking awesome. They were like, this is my favorite guy. The ones who would be commenting on that video certainly would only
Starting point is 00:57:32 be the people who are into it because those seven people are spokesmen for all women across the world. If you have anyone with a Pornhub account, now you're on. Oh, look at that little... We went from 4 billion
Starting point is 00:57:47 people down to this is 30,000 right away. Women on Pornhub, shit. I don't think this is going to be indicative of normal humanity at all, but let's go three more layers deep. Unless you have a more valid study, I'm going with mine.
Starting point is 00:58:02 I don't have anything. Now we are truly staring into the abyss. Now only women who comment on scarification fuckers, now only women who comment on scarification fuckers who are of the opinion that it's cool.
Starting point is 00:58:18 There's three gals out there and they all have that same tattoo and one of them is that guy's mom. And all the normal scarification women have been bullied out for being too mild. There is a subreddit where people post naked photos of themselves and
Starting point is 00:58:33 ask you for feedback. And everyone's like, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful. You look great. Oh my god. I wrote out four paragraphs on how to lose weight like get get chronometer start weighing your food and i taught her about macros shit like that turns out that gets you banned but she needed it dude fat hate woody is my favorite version of woody like
Starting point is 00:58:59 there are it's a it's a funny thing that you notice like people who there are there there's a big group of people who have like been fit and active their whole life that just have revulsion for fat people in a way that like isn't put forth enough in modern day like there's too much acceptance of it like when the reality is like so many people are like like who are actually fit are like yeah fuck fuck fatties i don't like remember fat people hate on reddit in like 2013 it was the funniest forum out there and they had to get rid of it because if it was it was too funny this woman was like 220 bullying people like she was for a woman and uh i yeah i wrote something like you know you would be super hot in in just like seven
Starting point is 00:59:47 months if you follow these steps and she wrote back and she's like thanks for saying this i didn't really ask for this advice and uh this part here you know you'll be super hot in seven or eight months implies i'm not super hot now and that hurt my feelings i'm writing this to you with a tear in my eye, and it's like a fucking delusional tear, because you're 220 fucking pounds as a girl. Is a little bead of Crisco coming
Starting point is 01:00:13 down your cheek? It's been shortening. I matched up with this black chick one time, and I was like, hey, how's it going, or whatever, like my opening line. I don't do fucking corny one time. I was like, hey, how's it going? Or whatever, my opening line. I don't do corny pickup lines. I say hello generally or something like that or comment on them in some way.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Anywho, her response was, first thing, I'm not into white guys. Just my preference. I'm like, okay. She's like, how do I get into shape? Because you're looking pretty good.
Starting point is 01:00:46 I'm literally on the elliptical. It's 2.30 in the morning. And I'm like, this is better than a girl who wants to fuck me. I go, like, I've turned the voice thing on. And I start like, well, first things first. First things first, fat ass. No, she was like, okay. She wasn't out of sorts or anything.
Starting point is 01:01:08 But everybody could be better, I guess, was what she was going for. But no, I wrote her so many paragraphs. And we had a nice, friendly, good luck. And then unmatched. It was one of the few... I don't know. Dating apps can be weird. Women can be weird. i always see those people
Starting point is 01:01:26 on uh like like the like like reddit where yeah yeah where they're just being so toxic and awful now i think what a big part of that is dudes are just baiting women into having a height preference as someone who's over six feet i guess i I shouldn't even have an opinion about that. I'm not supposed to have an opinion about murdering babies, but I do. So here it goes. I don't mind women having a height preference, and I don't mind women having a racial preference. There's been plenty of black women I've seen in their profile. No whites. I'm like, loud and clear.
Starting point is 01:02:04 It's going to be time. I don't want to'd be around you either if that's what you think no i have no problem with that what she means is i don't suck white dick she's like oh do you want to go to a party or a function with me sure i'll tolerate you you want to ride in a car together i just won't suck your dick that's all she's saying it's like yeah i'm cool with that like just let me know right up front that's a shitty way to be can you imagine if you saw someone like no blacks like that then has a like no of course you couldn't go to jail no i've seen that on ladies profiles i i do see what taylor's saying but they'll say caucasian persuasion not down with the brown you rhyme that shit nobody cares about see rhyming makes it fine there but you know i do understand how it's not that
Starting point is 01:02:45 socially acceptable to say no black people but i don't have a problem with anyone just having a preference yeah of course not everyone does yeah i've seen plenty of like they'll be like looking for a fucking poppy to raise my babies like like like must be six foot one and Mexicans. You looking for Antonio Banderas? Because he's 5'9". I go through every race and say, know this, know that, until there's everyone's exclusion. I'm into skinny
Starting point is 01:03:16 Samoans. When you said you were on a subreddit where they rated people, I thought you were going to say, rate my cock. You go over on rate my cock. You're a model there, aren't you? There's probably a lot of credit for that i'm i'm the administrator there i'm i am the greater yeah call me the wizard the cock wizard it's like uh someone's like exasperated like wife coming in the room like honey we're gonna watch a movie with the kids i'm swamped like we've got a discord called the cockpit we're just in there putting our heads together
Starting point is 01:03:53 now i think it's time for warhammer oh is it it is time for another penis subreddit i've talked to you guys about it before but it's called causeS. We have laughed at that one on the show. Man, they dress those penises up in little outfits, and it's so funny. I'm going to tell you, if I had a very small penis, like an unfortunately small penis, maybe a micro penis is like, you can't get anything done with that. But if you just had one that everyone would agree, oh, damn, that's too small. If you dress that thing up in your dick pics, I feel like you could sway a leg.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Be like, hey, first of all, it's small. It's very, very... You do the Howard Stern show, you really... It's a micro-penis. So then when they say three inches, they're like, I thought it was going to be smaller. But you dress that thing up like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and you can have a ball. You make the Seven Dwarves, they're attached
Starting point is 01:04:44 and then the penis is the one in the middle and you're like looking for a Snow White. Looking for a Snow White. That's a good idea. Small penis guys. Kyle, doling out advice. You're going to need those, what do you call those little things you bend? The pipe cleaners. Those little pipe cleaners you do arts
Starting point is 01:05:00 and crafts with. Right under the, what do you call it? All the frenulum. You heard it here first. All the little dick guys. Head on over to Michael's and get yourself some arts and crafts. Paper mache, some pipe cleaners,
Starting point is 01:05:16 and one of those little hats like Robin Hood had, but thimble size. Hobby Lobby's got you covered. Alright, PKN 452.

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