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all right pkn 454 how are you boys pretty good i tried to watch hockey with y'all last night but i
just man it was like an hour into the game nobody scored you know and i get that that happens and
not in basketball doesn't happen it's not true they score every second basketball they give
free points away all the time hey you want to middle ground somewhere football they stop the
whole game and let a guy attempt to do it
with no defense played all the time.
It's part of the game.
But I don't know.
They hadn't scored.
I guess so.
They hadn't scored for a long time, or at all, I should say.
So then they scored twice, and I guess I was rooting for New York
because I just think of New Jersey as the bad guys.
I just think of their fans as bad bad guys. I just think of their fans
as bad people.
All the players are bad.
The fans are bad. The ownership is bad.
The place they play is bad.
Exit 16W, fuck you and your lore.
I don't give a shit.
I have heard where they play is
horrible. This is the Devils?
The Devils.
Maybe it's their arena that's shitty but yeah
they have a big complex with new york that woody pointed out in our chat earlier we're like they're
always like oh new york like we're coming for you and they never come for them like for like 20
years they haven't come for them and so last night was like new jersey north jersey has to be happy
over it because like new york is going to wake up this morning and be like what other teams do we
have and just like find a different one to follow for a while yeah you missed like all the scoring
there's four tonight all the scoring came at the end of the game there i stopped when it was two
nothing and switched over to hbo new york one um new jersey new jersey now jersey's taking on the
carolina hurricanes round two all All right. That's right.
Yeah.
Sweet T was just not himself.
The Hurricanes are one of the better teams in the regular season.
Maybe second best?
Taylor would know.
Yes, second or third.
They were close.
Yeah.
But in the postseason, they haven't really been sweeping and kicking ass. So we'll see.
I mean, they play the islanders the islanders are
not great but like it's not like they took carolina to seven like carolina had an off game
or two and then they brought it back together like i think carolina wipes new jersey in five games
i think they absolutely butt fuck new jersey i think all those young kids on new jersey are so
excited to be out of the first round and it's going to get very real when they're up against you know a team that's actually trying because watching New York
I was like Patrick Kane does not seem to be trying at all out there it's not that like him and Panarin
two guys who make 25 million combined we're like out there just kind of turning it over and I'm
like that's what if I were Patrick Kane right there,
that's the play I would have made.
Turned it over and then lazily skated to the bench.
It's like,
oh my God,
what are you doing?
If you had 30 million in the bank
and what,
four rings already?
Yeah.
You might be chilling too.
I bet so.
Everybody else is like,
Patrick, please.
And he's like,
I already got three.
I got a dynasty. I don't care. I wanted please. And he's like, I already got three. I got a dynasty.
I don't care.
I wanted to go shopping.
That's why I requested this trade.
There's really good malls in this area.
I hope that's not true.
Because I really like it when people do the full Tom Brady.
They ruin their lives to get another ring.
They throw it all down the drain.
They're like, why family?
No ring.
Dynasty.
Every finger on this hand oh did i forget
about this guy he's getting toe rings catching up yeah i like the other part of kyle which is like
he fixed his life he won another super bowl ring he ditched the wife and kids now he took half his
should have been no see that's motivation now he's gonna earn it back you give me would i take 10 billion dollars or a book that says
how to make 10 billion dollars
i just feel bad whenever i find myself like on a restaurant or like a railroad i try to figure
out how i can own that railroad i'm not to be i'm not there to be a customer i'm there to buy it
that's especially true park place or boardwalk god what a douchebag you'd have to be like say that like like some
millionaire i guarantee like a billionaire who said shit like that is like talking to his other
billionaire buddies beforehand he's like check this out yeah every time i'm on it every time
i'm on a train i'm imagining getting into the train business it's just like laughing at you
mine was a stolen monopoly but yeah that it's not that those guys weren't trying it's that like
it's the same sad thing you're seeing with Brady now maybe I don't know how great Brady is but like
players who rely on speed and agility get into their mid-30s and they're still trying to play
speed and agility like Patrick Kane it's kind of sad where it's like oh you were the best American player in the world for a long time and
now like you kind of tripped there a bit didn't you like hmm was he the one who did that pirouette
in the middle of the ice it looked like a figure skater no that was a guy on the devils uh Jack
Hughes who must Hughes was having a terrible night! He fell on his own
four times. He did a
backflip, that red line slippery,
and he went right over it and just
He tried to argue
like hooking.
I guess he was
trying to score and the guy hooked his elbow
and might have
made it if he hadn't interfered with him that way.
And while he's arguing, they've got the puck and they're gone.
And it's like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Like, yeah, the pressure of the moment got to Hughes there a little bit.
Yep, yep, little hot end of the collar.
Just moved along.
It's like, that was a huge fuck up.
He's out there yelling.
I'll tell it quickly because I know you're not basketball guys,
but the opposite has happened to my team, the 76ers.
So, two guys, we have James Harden, former MVP, used to be the best player on planet
earth. He's a little older now and we got him in a trade for an absolutely head case doesn't play
great, great, great trade. We also have Joel Embiid who is likely to be this year's MVP,
the best player, basketball player walking on the earth right now so they said okay old dude
look your your role's not the same as it used to be you can't score like you once did your job is
to pass facilitate run this team use your vision and make it all happen like an old gretzky
led the nba in passing this year well the star that he's paired with is hurt with a knee problem
so they're like uh james you still got any of those moves and uh nope he does though oh good
score he dropped 45 points it was one of the highest scoring playoff performances in like
history yeah whatever like top 20 or something and there's only been three guys to do that over 33 years old ever.
He's one of them. They had him passing.
He had at least for one more game.
We beat the Boston Celtics, which is a chocolate thunder scene. We're talking on Discord all the time
now.
I don't know who he's talking basketball with.
Somehow the Sixers beat the Celtics.
They're an underdog without their best player.
In the series?
They beat them in the series?
The first games happened.
They're just one game in.
We stole home court from them.
I almost called it home ice.
And I'll stop talking about basketball.
I'm very excited.
My team is underdog one,
and our guy's knee is getting better every day.
We'll see.
That's pretty cool.
Best of seven.
Same as hockey, right?
Same as hockey.
I do like the story of the old player
getting off the bench and still
having a little bit in him. I think there's a
Randy Quaid movie called The Rookie
about a high school pitching
coach who, I don't know why
he didn't play in the majors. It was some sad thing
in his past, right? Like a
dying parent needs him to stay on the farm. My last wish is don't play in the majors. It was some sad thing in his past, right? Like dead, dying parent needs him to stay on the farm or something.
My last wish is don't play in the majors.
Nope.
My last wish.
Don't you answer that letter from the Cardinals.
This is your family farm.
Something like that legit happened.
I don't remember what it was.
But there's this scene where he.
Yeah, true story story by the way and there's
this little there's this touching scene where he doesn't know if he's still got it or not and he's
out he doesn't want anybody to see him practicing or like believing in himself at all because he
doesn't want to believe and he's out by one of those uh speed checking signs on the on a lonely
patch of road and uh he throws it his heart he He gives it all he's got, you know.
And it says, like, I don't remember what it was,
like 55 or something.
And he, like, looks down at the fucking ground,
like, shakes his head.
And the light flickers a little bit.
It goes 95.
And he's like, oh, okay.
Like, you know, another pixel filled in
and made it what he wanted.
It was a cool moment.
And then it's so much better than the rookie of the year,
which is when that child just slips and hurts his arm
and gets to be a major league player.
I liked that movie.
This is the opposite of that.
I was an injury away from playing for the Indians.
So watch them back to back.
And then watch Angels in the Outfield right after.
That literally had, was it Christopher Lloyd as an actual come to jesus angel with wings who flew down and cheated to help the the angels win the
pennant not the series the pennant and yeah like that when i understood that watching it as a kid
i was like wait the pennant that's that's not even the big one so like right yeah no it's like winning your
conference or however they do it like you're like then you go to the is it when i don't even know
if it's winning the al or the nl like winning your whole um side or or if it's just winning your um
you're like like the nl east like is that a pennant i think it is it's the al oh it's the
whole league okay i just googled. I wouldn't have otherwise known.
Is that a big thing in baseball?
Do people care about trophies other than the big one?
It's a consolation prize.
I don't even know what it looks like if there is an actual trophy,
but there is something to be said when you win your division every year.
That's a thing.
When you win your – and winning the whole NL is a big deal.
A lot of times AL teams are just better.
They just seem like they are.
I don't know. They seem like they were more powerful for years and maybe...
In hockey,
those trophies they get for the
equivalent of the pennant for the winner
of the conference, teams won't
touch it.
Teams don't touch the
trophy. The consolation prize.
Oh, yeah. For sure.
So many hockey guys are weird.
So many sports guys are like weird,
uh,
superstitious that like a couple of years ago,
like some guy like thoughtlessly touched it.
And like,
apparently like it was a thing to some people in the locker room.
Like the fuck.
It's yeah.
No,
I would buy into that.
Sidney Crosby is so superstitious.
He was born in 87.
His number is 87.
And the penguins like 20,
like 15,
18 years ago was like, how much money do you want
best player since gretzky and he was like 8.7 million and they're like really okay yes hard
bargain yours like he could have worked on that math a little better right you know like done a
monthly salary or something found a way to Instead of doing 8.7 million a year
Maybe you could have done 87 million
Oh, and 87 grand an hour
After that contract, that superstition went right away
Hey, 8.7 again, right, Sidney?
Fuck you
Oh, I found a new show last night
I think it's actually brand, brand new
It's called The White House Plumbers and it's got um oh what's it harrelson right woody harrelson yeah yeah yeah
he's the he's what's killing it with me but the other guy who i don't recognize perhaps because
he's wearing makeup and disguises often in the show i've only seen one episode because i believe
there is only one i think they're eking them out one a night um but it's the story of watergate
it's and i think a lot of people don't one a night um but it's the story of watergate it's and
i think a lot of people don't know that i don't i know the broad strokes essentially the nixon
campaign the re-election campaign uh nixon was was was a piece of shit okay first of all just
know that and they were gonna win anyway they were they were leading in this election and they were
going to get re-elected they did get re-ed. But he has this nefarious little group of people who, among other things, are
searching for communists in the media and watching civil rights leaders and stuff like that. But he
has a guy named G. Gordon Liddy, who I'm familiar with because of his radio show, which I listened
to daily growing up. G. Gordon Liddy is former FBI, former lots of scary things.
He would often talk about ways to kill people with gruts, I think, and pencils and all sorts
of ways to tear a man's finger off if you were able to wrestle the gun from him, the
way to turn the pistol so his finger got ripped backwards off.
It's crazy shit like that.
And he's played like that in the show, which is awesome.
It's hilarious to see their depiction of him.
But basically, they're bumbling idiots
who are on their way to commit the Watergate break-in.
In the first episode, what they're trying to do,
the political opponent sees a psychiatrist,
so they're going to Florida to break into the psychiatrist's office,
take pictures of the medical records of the candidate and find out if he's a communist spy or something like that
because they've made that up in their heads and they bungle their way through it the way that
teenagers would they and but but it comes out and it works out okay so they end up with some
pictures and nixon fires the person
above them hot like puts them on the fast track they're like let's just say you impress the right
kind of people in the white house they like your gumption no pussy footing mr nixon hates that
yeah they're like and woody harrelson's like yeah sure no no pussy footing with us and g gordon
lady's like absolutely black back they keep going back and forth whether you're doing a black op or a black bag because i guess one guy's cia and one guy's
fbi when in reality it seems like both of them got fired really early in their careers in those
agencies and are buffoons but uh it's it's almost too silly is it a comedy that's what i'm saying
it's almost too silly if he is i doesn't recognize him okay he was a watergate
figure a minor one i guess he was young and then his whole career was made on watergate but i'm
so lost on the detail what is he i don't know he has a gigantic nixon tattoo on him
that's interesting can you find a picture of roger stone's nixon tattoo if you show me a picture of
roger stone i might know if he's depicted in the in in the show because i'm you know that's before
any of our times i think that watergate stuff so i'm again i'm broad strokes on all that but it's
it's what i know about uh roger stone is he has the worst forehead of any man in america it's the
weirdest shaped pinhead can you get us a profile shot of that gentleman, Zach?
He is so...
You can almost see his pinhead here.
It's a hell of a tattoo.
That's terrible.
It's very well done.
Yeah, he's
got a terrible head. I see it.
Borderline Zika virus.
Oh, shit.
That's not the...
How do people not stop him in
the streets and and try to stab him in the heart with a fucking wooden stake or something this is
clearly a day walker look at the hairline he that now throw up a picture of bram stoker's dracula
like literally throw up a picture of bram stoker's dracula he's wearing the same glasses
if there's one from the side of that nose It's like he has a different animal-shaped skull.
It's odd.
His eyes are very close together.
Dude, he makes that guy on the right go along with him
so his head looks more normal.
When he takes that hat off, it's a perfect triangle.
This guy's old.
I don't think they'd let him recuse his actual role in Watergate.
They'd make him play an old uh well that guy from the marvel movies who would just walk in
and be like i think that was spider-man and like rob what's his name i know it's not robert e lee
stanley oh i don't think he meant that oh i don't know if he was asking if the real roger stone was
in there playing a character or not but uh there's a lot of historical characters who are depicted
because it's a real well-known thing.
The way it ends up, spoiler alert
for some shit that happened in the 70s,
they eventually...
The opening scene is hilarious because
it's them and three Mexicans trying to pick
the lock at the Watergate
hotel, and
the text at the bottom goes,
Watergate break-in.
Attempt number two of four. and they don't have the right and the next thing goes i do not have the right tools and they like
translates this spanglish to to g gordon lilly's like he doesn't have the right tools i mean he
does have them but not you know not here all right let's go. Come on, everybody, pack it up. And they just sneak back out.
They just leave.
And I guess that's a true, that's factual,
that it took these idiots four attempts
to break into what it is, the DCC headquarters.
Like, they were breaking into
the Democratic National Convention's headquarters
that was in the Watergate Hotel.
And, you know, one door is all you got to get through.
You just got to pick one door.
They don't have, like, a front desk guy or something again they sent us they sent cia and fbi black bag agents in to do this so they got
around some stuff you know oh like the president this is why this was such a big deal they are in
the show it's a little bit of both right i mean they did get caught. It wasn't a big... At the time, it was a really big deal.
But nowadays,
snooping on papers
from your rival campaign
doesn't...
It seems commonplace
and normal and benign.
It's still compared to
what happens today all the time.
No? Come on.
I totally agree. If this happened today, they'd be like,
yeah, they were finding stuff out. Don't you as an American want to know?
The president
of the United States ordered federal
employees to break the law.
It was a huge conspiracy.
They had code names and shit.
They do.
Literally. The president
and his chain of command, right down to
G. Gordon Liddy, have a vast conspiracy on tape, mind you, to break into a place, like criminally break and enter, and steal.
That's different than, I hope the Russians look into it.
Hey, if there's papers out there, look into them.
Hey, whatever they find, I'll look at.
It's different.
It's different.
Sure.
they thought i'll look at it's it's different it's different sure but i maybe people had higher expectations of politicians back then like if i found out people were doing that i would if that
happened today the president would be gone the same way he was gone back then i know he wouldn't
so here's the thing that's happening now yes clarence thomas it says he had more to his name
is he clarence thomas jr
uh the supreme court justice the black guy do you know about this already does everyone know
apparently one he's been getting very lavish vacations from his billionaire friend
a half a million dollars on a vacation is what it was worth not in cash but he got a half million
dollars it's awesome i'll digress for a second.
I kind of push back on that
number. What they did is they're like
he took this guy's private plane
and he stayed on his gigantic
private yacht and they
went from town to town in the yacht
doing this stuff and this would cost half a million dollars
if he rented it. Yeah, sure.
But he was a tag along on this
guy doing it anyway yeah they
pitched it like he gave him half a million worth of walking around cash yeah no he gave him a seat
on the plane and his wife yeah okay so that's one thing he did this same billionaire bought his mom's
house 33 years ago she still lives there he renovated the house for the judge's mom right he spent
something like 60 000 100 no it was like 140 000 renovating the home and yeah still lives there
he basically just gave his mom all this cash and uh it's pretty crooked and i feel like that
thing going on there is at least as bad as Watergate.
The chief justice, Roberts, his wife has a job of telling law firms which attorneys to
hire.
That's his wife's job.
She makes $10 million doing that.
And it's like, you're going to tell me she's not like just fucking selling.
These people all do business.
Of course she is in court
these people do business in front of the supreme court and pay her 10 million dollars to find out
which attorneys to hire this feels like huge corruption and uh it's corruption and nepotism
are are terrible and commonplace however there is still a difference but they're not chargeable
crimes like what watergate was was chargeable crimes.
The whole point was they were at the precipice of arresting the president.
That's why he left office.
They were going to get him.
He was going to jail.
They were going to come and get him.
And the big problem was he had an adversarial FBI.
He had J. Edgar Hoover in there.
He'd give J. Edgar Hoover an order, and the FBI would come back with, Mr. Hoover runs the FBI. He had J. Edgar Hoover in there. He'd give J. Edgar Hoover an order and the FBI would come back with
Mr. Hoover runs the FBI.
You know, like if you'd like to talk to him
you'd come down to his offices and he's free
on Mondays in the mornings. Dude, that guy
if you want to like do deep dives
on an interesting character, that guy
is so interesting. Hoover.
Like the amount of power
that guy had behind
the scenes, like it's unreal.
Like he was the kind of guy who could like just like put his fucking finger in the president's chest.
Just like, fuck you almost like, oh, oh, it's interesting.
Oh, that's that's right. You have that election thing.
See, I'm kind of a king here.
Your predecessor, you know, I was here, too.
And I rolled him and I'm going to roll you and I'll roll the next guy.
And it's like,
he was so fucking,
he's blackmailing every president,
everyone honey potted,
everyone like trapping people in sex scandals.
Like that dude had fingers in every pot.
That dude had recordings.
Honey pot means something else.
Oh no,
no,
no.
Honey pot that I,
okay.
Yeah.
He's got MLK on tape. He's got mlk on tape he's got mlk on
tape um i'm fucking he's got the president on tape fucking he's got robert kennedy on tape
fucking he's he knows all their drug habits their what their what communist they might be hanging
out and partying with what dope they're smoking and he's just waiting for them to have a problem
with him and he's going to show him that file yeah but did you see the movie uh with leonardo dicaprio i think
i haven't i need to watch that was it leo it might not have been him it's it's i was
i remember the movie was good and they focused on like his gay relationship with his second
in command a lot because he was on yeah yeah it's called jay Edgar. I've never heard that he was a cross-dresser or that he was gay.
Yeah, he was gay.
Oh, everyone knows this but me.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, that was a common thing.
Well, he tried to keep it on the down-low himself,
so it's not surprising that he is still powerful enough
to keep you blind to his homosexuality to this day.
I'm going to chalk it up to Jay Edgar Hoover's power.
I like it.
No, I'm with you.
I'm not going to push back at all.
You shouldn't.
But yeah, I don't know. I think the TV
show, one way or another,
is going to be kind of a fun watch.
Again, the first episode was a little too silly.
But I think
if I were to Wikipedia, I'd
be like, oh my god, that really happened?
Because there's a part where they go and they're went over their heads.
But people keep believing them because they talk themselves up too much.
And they're down there with these goofy disguises.
Like over the top unnecessary. One's got a fake limp, fake teeth,
fake wigs, all this shit. And instead of just taking pictures
of the office or in the street,
they're posing in those photographs like tourists to make it seem more casual. So now there they are
in like, like setting themselves up like exhibit a exhibit B exhibit C a picture of me out in the
doctor's parking space that we're going to break into outside his office. Here's his car. Here's
his license plate. And here's the, his name on the concrete, you know, spray painted his office here's his car here's his license plate and here's the his name on the concrete you know spray painted and here's the the the agent sitting on the bumper of the car
giving a thumbs up boom there's exhibit b okay now here's us breaking in here's his diploma so
you don't think confuse this with anyone else's office just just and then it's like intentionally
stupid it's so brain dead oh it gets worse So they borrowed the camera from Langley, FBI headquarters,
doing the job for sort of separate on this little weird island of a job kind of thing,
separate from anybody, just for the president.
When they returned the camera, they leave the film in it.
They leave the film.
They weren't like that bumbling.
They did. Again, it took them four attempts to pick one lock
they and don't imagine that they kept coming back the same night for like a week or two four or five
men were having to dress up go into this place and they were failing time after time after time
i'm saying like that's so wild to me to hear this that it's like that seems like an inside
thing like if like you couldn't how on earth does it take you four times to break in how do you go
we got the don't worry we set ourselves up in our goofy super noticeable costumes in the perfect
place for evidence and then we left the evidence well it's like how it comes down to corruption
because woody harrelson's character couldn't have pulled that off so they corruption because Woody Harrelson's character... Mr. McDougal couldn't have pulled that off.
So they give Woody Harrelson's character like $2,600 for the first job,
the big Florida job of photographing and breaking into the doctor's office.
And they want to keep all the money.
So they're having this discussion.
G. Gordon's like, who the hell works for $2,600 on a job like this?
And Woody Harrelson's like, my guys are real patriots.
They work for free.
And he's got Bay of Pigs Cubans.
He's got the Cubans that Kennedy
had turned his back on
on the whole Cuban invasion thing.
Basically, he's got terrorists
who don't speak good English,
who were once affiliated
with the United States very sketchily.
Who don't speak English well. Thank you. That very sketchily. Don't speak English.
Well,
thank you.
That's even better.
Cause it's cause,
cause they speak a little,
there'll be this moment where they all like say the same word because they know that one.
It's a,
it's a lot of fun,
but,
but it's a little too silly.
Uh,
if,
if I don't know,
I need to watch more of it.
I'm watching.
We finished Dr.
Who last season,
thumbs up.
According to me, uh, if you like Dr. Who, Doctor Who last season. Thumbs up, according to me.
If you like Doctor Who, you'll like it.
But we're on Band of Brothers now.
And that's a good show.
Band of Brothers gets it done.
Five miles up, five miles down.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Three?
Is it three?
Damn, why have I been saying five for years?
I'm really current on it.
Oh, I believe you.
No, I believe you, 100%.
And it honestly makes more sense because we've all been up to the top of that thing
and it didn't feel like five miles.
Wait, we went there?
Yeah.
After the camping trip?
Yeah.
The spray paint at the top?
That's it.
Whoa.
I got to tell Jackie that.
Yeah, you've been to the top.
I made Wings walk to the top of it.
Get out.
Did you say it?
He's done the walk.
I've got the video of it somewhere.
It's me in the passenger seat of my truck with Jeremy
driving, just filming out the passenger seat
like, come on!
Keep it up!
Did he get up in 23 minutes like they do in the movie?
Dude, it was getting dark.
I might have driven him the last couple
hundred yards.
Hi-oh, silver!
Just dust
and shit flying as I spin out in front of them jack no i appreciate that so
three miles 23 minutes i can't run three miles in 23 minutes downhill right now like if you asked me
if you said woody run a single seven minute mile i would tell you no no i'm not your guy surely there's someone
around here who could do what you need it would it would it takes a lot of
we were running those sub seven minute miles in high school yeah in high school i did it
yeah um college i i you know i i think y'all y'all's times are better than mine
but mine's under seven minutes I don't think I I I think I they had us doing a quarter mile a day
up leading up to it and you could really tell as in high school as a as a 17 year old I was like
oh every day I'm better it was every day like your cardio was getting better I don't think
it's like that anymore because I know just doing cardio for like cutting weight it's just dreadful it's just dreadful i yeah like two
years ago maybe three i did this thing where i ran every day every day it was like 25 out of 30 days
for a month and uh like the first day i run i'm sore and then i'm like wow the the i guess the
shin split like the muscle right next to your shin that just got worse every single day i run i'm sore and then i'm like wow the the i guess the shin split like the muscle
right next to your shin that just got worse every single day i'm like oh i can feel right where that
bone's broken and the hardware is there i don't normally feel my bones this is weird
i feel it just all day now like broken bone nice good yeah it just yeah i don't think running's the
the move for uh for people at all really for
health reasons i think that elliptical man i swear by that shit it's just so there's no impact
you're getting your movement in um and it's and you can go back and forth between upper body and
lower body if you do burn out a muscle group because if i'm just on the bike i'll burn my
legs out if i'm not careful if i try to go for a sprint real quick and catch my heart rate up, say my heart rate drops to lower
than it's supposed to be, on the elliptical, I'll pound it out like 50-50 legs and arms and get my
heart rate racing again. And then I can cruise again, sort of a 70-30 split, 80-20 split. But
on the bike, you just got to get it everything you got with your legs. And I'll burn my legs
out doing that. It doesn't work for me hypothetically if i wanted cardio i think the
thing for me would be public bicycling like in a group ride i know you guys hate them you think it
should be okay to hit them and i see where you're coming from but there's like a social dynamic a
competitive dynamic and the bike and i just enjoy outdoors and the wind and the sun.
That would be my version of cardio I think I'd like.
I could get on board with
the stationary bike
and the video game aspect
of it. But what I would prefer, once
again, would be the elliptical
set up to the same thing, competing
against other people on ellipticals in my age group.
That I would
dig. That I would dig a lot. It's neat when you find one of your exercises like like it i like
bench press i like tricep push downs with the bar not the rope the two ropes but the bar yeah and
i've heard the two ropes is better you can go to the bottom and pull them apart and like i get it
i get it but you know what i like this one you know i like that but you can do more
yeah i'm fine with that there's no shortage of weight in my gym yeah that was one of i was yeah
you've probably seen all that arnold arnold schwarzenegger gold's gym shit but i remember
one of his favorites is what's the one where you lie on the bench and sort of your hands go over
your head and grab the bar that's sitting on the floor behind you and you're pulling them skull crushers i've heard it called skull crusher oh my god he was
doing them so heavy he was doing them so he's like this is one of my favorite exercises i like to go
so heavy so heavy and it's like a million of these thin plates that don't even like meet in modern
specifications this giant thing he's just and he's just, every, every rep is, yeah,
every rep is a scream.
And the guy with him is like,
20 more!
And he's like,
he's just like getting them out.
I love watching him work out.
Putting the bar in place.
Oh,
not,
not on that exercise,
but I've,
I've watched all his gold gym stuff
and I've watched all,
I love pumping iron.
I,
if you want to get you
want to watch something to get you hyped up for uh uh to to go work out don't watch the movie
pumping iron because that's honestly just gay like like and there's nothing wrong with that
like you could jerk it out you could jerk it i bet again but but what you want is a pumping iron
montage you want somebody to edit out some of the lamer bits and sillier stuff and you want to boil
it right down to arnold just getting jacked as fuck in the gym and screaming.
That's sort of my problem.
I spent an hour watching Pumping Brian.
Yeah, that's a different movie.
It's a different movie.
I'm also gay.
Pumping Aaron.
You know what I like?
Is it Ron Coleman?
The guy who's like, everybody wants to be a bodybuilder.
Ain't no one one to lift these heavy
ass weight yeah that speaks to me when i see him say that i'm like fuck yeah i'll pick him up let's
do it i lived here today and i had to i hurt my back i haven't been moaning about it but i really
fuck that it's been uh impacting my happiness and uh but today i got back in the gym and i felt so
good about it when you lift
regularly your muscles are just they're not always like recovering like they're i've got like 10 of
a pump all the time and my muscles are firmer i got soft i don't know that i got much smaller
but i feel like i got softer and right now like all my push muscles are like all right woody we're
back dude that is i know exactly what you're
talking about because like if i go like two weeks and i'm fiddle fucking around and i haven't worked
out like obviously you're not losing size in two weeks but like i'll just be like i'm just
i'm just so small and soft you're totally recovered bitch I'm just a little bitch. I'm never supposed to be 100%.
And I'll convince myself.
I'm like, you've lost so much.
You've lost so much. And then I go down and I work out
way too hard and I come upstairs and it's like,
oh, it's okay. Oh, it's okay.
Nothing happened.
Work out way too hard. See, you're not 50.
I'm getting back into it.
I've been shopping for
one of those ice
barrels to do the ice submersion it. I've been shopping for one of those ice barrels
to do like the ice submersion.
You've probably seen UFC fighters.
Like a horse trough type thing?
No, the barrel.
It looks like a Donkey Kong video game barrel.
It's a 105-gallon barrel.
It's shaped like a barrel from a video game
that you would shoot and it would explode.
Like a whiskey barrel.
Like a whiskey barrel, but it's hard.
It's plastic and it has a lid that fits well like a cooler.
So once you get it cold, it stays cold.
And they're $1,000.
They're $1,000?
Yeah, but just $1,200.
And it's like, come on, man.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's it.
For $1,100, that should not be so ugly.
I think it looks fine.
I don't want it to be flashy or anything.
It's a barrel of ice.
You can get them much cheaper.
So I'm in the market for something similar because I'm...
I like that, Zach. That's good.
You do that one limb at a time.
An old diesel barrel with the top hastily cut off with a hatchet.
When you keep a big fish tank,
you keep like 60 gallons of you keep like 60 gallons of
fresh water and 60 gallons of salt water on hand all the time for emergency water changes or just
scheduled or whatever and uh that's why i'm on the market for something similar and you can go to
online i'll have to give you websites but also northern tool not northern tool um agriculture
supply sells big rain barrels and shit like that yeah maybe yours is special and
insulated better it is well well that's its thing that's got to be its claim to fame that first of
all the things that i would want this thing it needs to be big enough for me after i displace
the all the water right because it's a little different than just being able to fit in it
and it needs to uh be insulated because the ice gets annoying and expensive to refill after a
while because i've done this before and it's every night you're going to the ice gets annoying and expensive to refill after a while because I've done this before.
It's every night you're going to the
local gas station and getting those gigantic
long bags that you've only seen at lake trips
or something, picnics and stuff.
They're like, what are you doing with all of our ice?
That's no fun.
Calling all that ice is
no fun. It'd be nice to just have it.
I'd like to go full
Jocko Wilnick or whatever and start those start like every day with a with a nice ice bath because
i'm gonna be honest those guys are pussies when i hear about the amount of time that they do
i heard jocko like bragging about how oh some of these mma fighters they just dunk themselves in
there and now i'm in there for a solid three minutes or six whatever he said matt said seven dude i never i i after my silly
research i convinced myself that if i wasn't in there for 10 or 12 minutes we weren't getting
anything done i would get myself borderline hyperthermic when i come out of there dude
i'd be pale i look like leonardo at the end of titanic i know you've never seen that taylor but
he's bobbing up and down in the cold water,
and he's pale.
Lips are blue and shit.
One time I actually did stay in too long
because after a while you go numb,
and you tell yourself you're being tough,
but in reality you're just numb.
It's easier now anyway.
When I got out, I had a hard time stopping shivering.
I couldn't stop shivering.
It probably took two hours of being under the covers. Oh, look at that. got out, I had a hard time stopping shivering. I couldn't stop shivering and probably
took two hours of being under the covers.
It's probably
smaller than he really wants, but maybe
he could live with it. But you could save
$900. Well, it doesn't look that small.
And you get to be a Spartan.
I bet that's a little guy. I bet that they
purposefully hired some 120-pound guys
who are ripped as fuck.
How many gallons i wonder
that is amazon has some really cheap ones but you know how that goes can you find the gallon zach
it must it may be maybe burying the lead have you ever done that taylor you didn't in football right
or something in a high school wrestling yeah okay yeah it's it i can't imagine starting a day off in an ice bath like i think it would
make me cranky like i i love my 300 liters like i've recently started like i had never like kyle
you would like this you'd approve 80 i've never ever used 100 like 180 that doesn't seem like i
said 80 oh 80 my guess would be more like 150 isn't it like 2.1 liters per gallon or something
2.2 liters about a quart there we go 79.25 fucking dead on over there stupid metric system
uh no i would i would never do ice baths regularly even if i had one it would be one of those things
that like i walked by and was like i'd like make big plans to do it and then i'd wake up and be like you make a ritual of it
no like i like my boiling lava hot showers that dry my skin out so bad i love i started putting
sarah v on my face because i was like why is my skin so dry and it's like what is that
sarah it's like it's just like moisturizer. It's for cowboy hands.
Because I absolutely refuse to not take lava showers because it's so relaxing.
I want the water to be so hot it's like barely tolerable.
Big bath guy.
I'm all about the bath.
I like that the bath makes you sweat water.
And I just have this idea that when you're drinking that gallon a day,
that you should be trying to sweat out as much water as you can to like,
I don't know, flush your pores, flush your,
whatever systems are involved with making the water turn into sweat.
I think those running continuously has to be a good thing.
And then I did read that thing where an hour long bath burned like a
considerable amount of calories, the same amount as an hour long walk.
And so as you're in there,
you're just like,
this is better than walking.
Don't you like showering much more than baths though?
No.
Because I,
I mean,
I do all three.
I,
when I,
when I'm in the ritual,
I'm doing all three,
right?
I,
I'm taking the hour long bath and then I'm showering off afterwards because I
don't think you can get out of a bathtub and be clean.
No,
definitely not.
Like that's a,
that's a big negative of bathing with the bath is like you have to get out of
it and then go get in the shower to rinse off all the sweat.
Like I just want to,
and like the soap scum,
like whatever nonsense was floating on the top of that water.
There's a great scene.
Oh,
Chris Carly's last year.
Yeah,
sure.
It's always wild that I sit in the bath
just being like, just like how low
your balls are.
Like after a boiling hot bath.
You ever think that you're just like, god damn!
Like that's just...
Where are y'all going?
That's not what they're normally like. They're running away.
Get back in there!
Why can't my dick get extra long in the bath who
made this decision chris farley's last movie is called like wagons east and it's about a bunch of
people who are like frontiersmen and pilgrims and they they've had enough of it and they're like
fuck this shit we're going back to chicago it's a wagons east they're all the losers and uh um
there's a scene where chris farley takes his first bath and God knows how long and the the bathtub owner who charges you a nickel
for a tub comes back in and looks at this this tub and what Chris Farley has
done to it and he's just disgusted Chris Farley goes ah some of them flies was
already in there because it looks like sewage.
It's just awful.
It's not a great movie,
but that's the movie he died making.
And I've seen it a couple times.
Yeah, yeah, it's not terrible.
Yeah, we were talking about baths.
I never shower alone anymore.
Since we got our new bathroom,
Jackie and I shower together.
Like, we didn't today,
and I can't remember the previous time.
I mean, you have to get your money's worth worth when you buy a shower that can fit 11 people you need at least two in there it's got to be that
it would be almost rude not to be like hey honey i'm showering now you down i bet you could rent
that bathroom out as a shooting location for porn like i bet yeah you shouldn't though you get right
on that i you know Kyle, you're thinking...
That's how you edge your way
into the lifestyle.
Make your own porn, right?
Take all the profits for myself.
That's how you do it.
Well, just be careful you don't imprison anyone.
They'll take all your cars
and be mean to you on the internet.
They'll entertain you like do you feel sorry
for entertain even a little i was starring in this porn in my scenario oh i see i thought okay
i don't know what's up with the entertain i haven't i think he's still locked up right
every time i see a picture of him he's more oh okay well he's under house arrest right
back in the usa no he lives in Romania
I don't know if the trial was like not happening
or what but he's just out out
I think maybe his brother's still in
I just know they kept showing those pictures of that man's
hairline and being mean to him
they got every bad angle of him they could
and made fun of him
god damn
after a while I couldn't tell if those tweets being attributed to him were his or not
because they were getting cringy as fuck it was like the demon says let me in after a while you
just let him in you just let him inside of you and it's like what are you what are you talking
about right now did you get raped last night yeah yeah like are you in a romanian prison or
you kind of are at the library like what are you in a Romanian prison? Are you at the library?
Like, what are you doing right now?
I'm tweeting, bro.
But every time I would see one, it's like, this is bizarre.
When he tweeted that he had a full head of hair,
the internet went wild on him.
And I thought it was pretty deserving.
He lacked a little self-awareness.
He absolutely does not have a full head of hair. You can't be making claims like that with that.
Yeah, he's like, look at me, grizzled beard a full head of hair you can't be making claims like that with that yeah he's like look at me grizzled beard full head of hair still standing strong and we're like
no no well he has like full head of hair on one of those technicalities where it like somehow
thins everywhere equally all at once it well he's biracial just poof that's a better picture than the one that
people were using yeah you want to use this angle you want to raise that camera up so you can see
all up here he's biracial that's part of it so he's got that kinky black people hair mixed with
our caucasian slickness and it's thinned out in a way that that is like partial lebron uh mixed
with like i don't know,
a sender from Kentucky or something like that.
He's got a mess going on up there.
Yeah, he should go full bald.
He was a pro fighter at one point.
He usually does shave it, but they locked him up,
and I guess he let it go.
You've got razors and cream in there.
I don't know why he wouldn't shave his head.
Yeah, he's got a phone.
Your experience might not relate to Romania.
I just think that's like a thing you get men.
Like, they just, it just seems like,
I can't imagine a jail they don't give you a razor in.
Or maybe Andrew Tate's intentionally not doing stuff to make him appear more grizzled and mistreated.
Or maybe he is being mistreated.
Man, I think of a razor,
I think of a shaving razor as like a,
I think of a shaving razor as like a human right.
Like, all those military kits that would always come with the razors I think of a shaving razor as like a human right.
All those military kits that would always come with the razors and the bubble gums and the cigarette.
It's like, yeah, you can't be you without a razor.
Can you have a beard in prison?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Well, in the prison I was at, for sure, I don't know what.
I would be surprised if there were places that made people shave their beards. Just on religious grounds, you'd have a mess.
Making the Muslims shave?
I saw a movie where they forced them to shave for identification reasons.
So that they would easily be recognized.
And there was a guy who was getting married.
And he asked to grow his beard out for his marriage.
And they let him do it.
And then he escaped and
no one recognized they know who he was
but you know
movies
can't go by that it's definitely
a human rights thing like they couldn't
just not give you an ability
to shave like think of what it would be like
if like if I had to go like
nine how long has he been in there like I had to go nine months
without shaving that would be maybe three months even without shaving would be really uncomfortable
it'd be unless you're one of those people that likes those like long beards but every time i've
had that thought like five times in my life from like i see somebody with like one of those big
giant beards and i'm like i'm gonna get a big giant beard and then like three weeks later it's like this is just hot and i can't eat
or drink anything without my mustache getting wet and if you trim the mustache down too much
while you have the big beard you look like a lunatic so you almost look like a fucking like
like big mustache and yeah you don't want that speaking of lunatics you watch that video i sent
you of the the prisoner who saved up a month's worth of instant coffee.
He saved up a month's worth of instant coffee.
It's like freeze-dried coffee that dissolves in hot water.
And he drank it all in one gulp.
Like 28 packets of coffee.
And he was fucking fiending.
He was full goblin mode.
Screaming and screechingching like having a full
goddamn meltdown hilarious the the cop or the prison guard who's in there is like this dude
is losing his mind he's like it's coffee coffee gets through man i can handle the meth i can
handle the meth i can't handle the coffee and the guy was like yeah yeah yeah let's cut out the
coffee and the meth and then it like it cuts like an office
thing to just like this guy gibbering to himself in the the clothing cell and the cop being like
honestly we didn't believe him he told us he was all messed up on coffee it is 100 coffee like
he's he's telling the truth it's just coffee like and this guy was i if i drink like too much coffee
it is not a fun high it's panicky it's like it's it's not fun it can be too much it can be too
much but it's to me it's it feels like my body i get a little shaky i get a little shaky all
over i don't like that uh but i have to take a lot of caffeine before that happens so they didn't let him shave
no disposable razors in prison
that's lame
so he asked for his hair stylist to be brought in
and they said no
he asked for a playstation they said no to that too
they said prisoners don't play
they pray
alright
but a razor a little bick
like that's pretty shitty I'm with you actually Damn. But a razor, a little bick?
That's pretty shitty.
I'm with you, actually. So I can see why you'd want to tightly supervise the
shaving area. You don't want razors just getting
out into the population.
But
they just don't let people shave in Romania?
I can't get on...
I can't fathom that.
In the US,
maybe those are special razors. I don't know. I I can't fathom that. In the U.S., maybe those are special razors.
I don't know. I certainly didn't try to disassemble
my razor and do anything with it.
I'm pretty sure those are just razors.
They just gave us razors,
and they weren't keeping up with the razors.
It'd be hard to do much with one.
It's less of a weapon and more of a tool.
It's so little.
I don't know. I feel like if I was being attacked and I had a like a tool it's so little i don't know i feel like it
if i was being attacked and i had a razor especially if i had time to mount it to like
a toothbrush or something it would do damage sure i suppose you could good well i mean where you
work i'll i'm sure they weren't that worried about it and where he is like isn't he as like
in a solitary situation anyway so like what's he gonna do stab himself he acted himself? He acted like he was with his brother. He wanted a PlayStation.
Oh. Well, he's not going to kill his brother.
How many controllers did he ask for?
Just one.
That'd be great.
I'd like a PlayStation 5
and one controller.
It comes with two.
Keep it.
Keep it.
That would be a true alpha prison
you make everybody watch you play fucking playstation
what games do you want
Skyrim
that's it single player
everyone can watch
actually I bet that would be pop
if you had Skyrim
in your prison set up Kyle
and there was some sort of rule where it was like
because of special provisions this is awarded to kyle only one controller anyone can watch
but no one else can touch he's done it before he's done do you think that like as you were
playing skyrim a true crowd would have gathered of people interested oh yes, yes. When I told them that I was not a once, twice, but...
No, no, no. A thrice
dragonborn.
They would want me
to guide them on the journey
to the peaks of
Frothscar or wherever the fuck.
Man, that's pretty cool, man. How about you
open those mythical cheeks?
To the depths of the dwemer holds
goofy as hell when you're throating me
that's funny watching video games is somehow either like really compelling or really boring
and i can't explain why which is which yeah i was just thinking that like in a place
like that any form of novelty even something that's not interesting at all to them on the
outside would be like what is this like can you tell me if you set up mortal combat with two
controllers there'd be a line but i think maybe if you just had a guy sitting there playing skyrim
uh somebody might want to play like hey, hey, can I go next?
But I don't know if anybody's going to sit
and really be into the story.
I'd be surprised.
Do you think people would bully around it?
Like, it's your turn, and they're like, no.
It's my turn.
They'd set up rules to prevent that,
the same way they do with the TV.
They do some, or the checkerboards,
the Monopoly boards.
That guy once told you what to watch on the white TV.
Yeah.
Well, in the morning, we watched the news.
That was a rule that I was unaware of.
See, that was like a...
In the morning, we watched the news!
He was so adamant.
All right, the news.
It's just two old stations.
It's the same story.
You ever tell that someone cares way more about something than you do? it's just two stations it's the same story you ever like
tell that someone cares way
more about something than you do
and you've misstepped that's
where I was that morning
because his red bloodshot eyes and he
was just so angry
anyone who's had a pony
he was just
he was just so exasperated
in the morning we watched the news and i just knew he could kill me
he'd been in there but i knew he wouldn't either though even someone who couldn't threaten you
physically could extend your sentence yeah yeah i mean he's been in there for a decade and he had
like two two to go i remember that he was the guy who ran the laundry but yeah yeah that was a i
didn't understand that rule that didn't make sense to me that was contrary to what i had been
told but in the morning we watched the news and i know that now so if i so next time i'm in prison
i'll know that rule yeah like like i because i was staying up all night so i'd be up at 4 35 a.m
when stuff like everybody loves Raymond and
what's that stupid clip show with that with those assholes on it whatever it's
called that MTV show where they just watch internet clips ridiculousness we
be watching that shit into the night replay after replay and then all of a
sudden the news would start coming on because everybody's waking up and it's
breakfast time yeah and the morning we watch the news in the morning we watch
the news we got to stay up to date.
And all it was about, dude, that's what was frustrating me,
is because if he had been like, in the morning we watch Friends!
I want to know if Ross and Rachel get together, god damn it!
If that was the play, I'd be like, dude, first of all,
I'm not going to spoil it for you, but let me know if you want some insight.
Second of all, yeah, let's turn it on and watch i'll i'll follow friends with you again but it but they just wanted to
know what's going on in birmingham and montgomery like like oh and you the park service today said
that little jimmy the the gophers made a nest and had babies oh isn't that great yeah little
little gophers in the park all right moving on theresa what's the weather like today it's like
why are we watching this everybody loves raymond's on i see where you're
coming from if i was in prison long enough i'd be really curious about what's going on outside
like cnn i was into i could sit there and watch cnn all day because that is stuff i don't have
read it you know so you they would it's breaking news for real finally for the first time ever uh it was not
the one i remember the john jones um no it was i think it was dc stipe um it was one of those
fights that that happened while i was in there and it got spoiled for me on espn i was so upset
because i was doing my best to do like a media blackout on that fight and uh and i just saw like
that i don't know.
I think Cormier crying.
I think I saw Cormier crying on ESPN and I was like,
shit,
that's not a good cry.
It's not a big thing.
Cormier's got a,
it's got a rough,
ugly crying face.
Well,
he was also concussed.
Yeah.
He can't make fun of him for looking ugly,
crying with his brains all scrambled that's where
you're wrong i absolutely can that's true memes and all kind of shit it's it's a good time yeah
there was a there was nothing for me i hope it was it was an interesting little thing on the
bare knuckle fighting uh championship side of things uh i guess luke rockhold former ufc
everybody always talks him up and i'm like my dude he's game luke rockhole yeah pull up zach
show it show taylor how beautiful luke rockhold is one of the most rockhold people ever to be in
the ufc he's an act he's worked as a male model even better than uh the the like fucking uh area
than anyone who's looking guy this you'll see the blonde one who's like looks like a ken doll is all
shredded he wasn't oh well that's a different kind of handsome i think yeah he's really good too You'll see. The blonde one who looks like a Ken doll is all shredded.
That's a different kind of handsome, I think.
Yeah, he's really good too.
You don't know when your friends say handsome man and that dream comes true.
See?
This is what
Mike Perry
did to him.
That's not a great picture either.
I'd like to see him in a suit or something at a press conference.
I mean, he wasn't
male model. Maybe him on the cover of a magazine
with some cologne in his hand or something.
This guy could be
in Spartacus.
He has
a Roman-looking nose somehow.
He needs to get...
He needs to be out of fighting
because he was not supposed
to lose the fight uh he was fighting a guy um fucking mike uh diamond perry i think mike perry
is the guy who's like five percent black so he uses the n-word now and uh and really reps it
hard guy rocks yeah perry pardon yes he got smoked he quit he quit in the cage
this is bare knuckle yeah he got smoked and and oh and and then on top of that the same night i
think connor mcgregor is coaching eddie alvarez and he's just you can hear connor uppercut uppercut
and he fucking boom boom double uppercuts and smokes him and eddie points to connor is like
yeah man you
you're right you're right and it was this awesome moment because he's fighting um mendez right to
chad mendez maybe so you've got these three men connor's fought both these guys in the ufc and
beaten them in big fights and then and now connor is coaching one of them against the other and
giving this good advice and there it was a cool fucking moment.
This is Luke Rockhold getting smoked by,
uh, Luke Rockhold could put his chin on top of his head.
I did not expect him to lose this.
Oh no,
he,
he hit him so hard.
He's flying into the air right now.
Okay.
I wouldn't doubt it,
but he is taller.
I imagine they don't really stand like that,
but for sure.
He's a bigger man.
Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Uh, he smoked him. It was a, but he's a bigger man. Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
He smoked him.
It was a pretty neat fight.
I don't like that.
The bloodiness of it bothers me.
The cuts.
I know MMA has similar stuff, but something about that,
knowing that they're getting cut by that wrapped bare knuckle fist,
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just...
Tears your skin more.
They bleed quickly and often they're always bloody i've never seen one of those fights that didn't end with somebody
you know maybe a quick knockout but usually if they're changing a little bit of blood
in a ufc fight what i don't like watching is like when it's gross like when one guy is bleeding all
over another guy i only like that if if you hate that
guy though if you hate that guy and he gets cut you're like fuck you fuck you bleed him out bleed
that bitch out let's see if there's any bitch in that blood fucking pussy and then he'll choke the
guy and the blood will squirt out faster and you're like yeah i like I like the blood and I see it through a different lens.
I like the bravery is what I really like.
Sometimes a guy is just bleeding badly, right?
Dripping out of his face,
pouring out of his face
to where it's not always drops,
it streams.
And then that blood drips in the other guy's face.
And I've seen him do this like,
oh, look at this.
I have a range weapon
and it will just drip blood in another person's eyes and mouth and and they're like doing their best to avoid it it's
disgusting i know what you mean about the bravery thing like it is like it's a combat sport i i
totally get that but like oh like i see that i get the same feeling of when i see someone with
like a big booger in their nose
like because i know exactly what you're talking about i remember this guy got cut on the side of
his face and on his lip and when he was over the other guy he was just like just like going like
yeah yeah and it's like spit mixed with blood and i'm, this is vile. Okay. I completely agree. It's vile.
It's disgusting,
but there's no bitch in that guy's blood.
That guy,
that guy had every opportunity to quit jail.
Sonnen has this thing where he complains about the phrase.
Losing is not an option.
He's like,
losing is always an option.
It's the easiest option.
It's right there.
Anytime you want to lose,
anytime you want to quit, just do it. Just take a knee, just get off of your neck. You can get out of this fight anytime you want to. So here's a guy who no one would fault for wanting to leave
the fight, but he doesn't want to. He wants to win the fight and he's on top bleeding on his opponent using it as a
weapon anything he can think of he's trying to scrape and scratch and eke out this win and i'm
like fuck guy doesn't lack bravery that's why john jones is the greatest mixed martialist mixed
martial artist of all time he pokes eyes he crushes skulls, he pounds syringes, and he gets it done. Undefeated,
undisputed. Champ champ.
Greatest of all time. Double champ.
I bet I would,
if you could take John Jones back to those gladiatorial
arenas of olden times
and explain the fucking rules to those...
You would have got fucked up by a lion.
You could just see him out there bouncing up and down
Doing his stretch
And then
Oh shit
On all fours
Like he crawls towards his
The lion would be unimpressed
Emperor Octavian
That is again
3241 for the lion
Again And the lion.
Again!
And the lion wins again!
It's just the fattest lion.
Taylor, I know you have a lot of
admiration
for lions in the combat arena.
Of course.
How many humans would it take to beat a lion?
There is a number.
Armed or unarmed?
Completely unarmed. I'll make him buck naked.
But there is some level where
150 humans
can beat a lion.
It's far less than that.
You'd have to weigh it down somehow.
But it's so strong.
You'd have to get its eye.
A lot of people would have to be willing to die.
Oh, yeah.
Did Zach say eight?
Because I could get on board with that.
Okay.
That's not bad.
All right, so here's my thought process.
If you're throwing five big, strong, motivated, physical men,
not modern men, but maybe a tougher sort from olden times,
and you're telling them, look,
you're going in there with a lion.
You can all scatter and run like sheep and he will eat you one at a time.
If he doesn't, those guys up there
with the bows, they're going to shoot you for cowards
and the crowd's going to laugh while you bleed out in the sun.
In your family. Or we can all work together.
Alright? Joe,
you're the front paw on the
left. Mike, you're the front paw on the left mike you're the front paw on the right
it's all you care about i don't care if he's eating your face mike you can't let go of that
front paw on the right and you all pick a paw and then somebody's got you're like dave you just got
to get a hold of that main i don't care what you do with it but you can't let go dave you gotta
ride him dave and if you can get your fingers in his eyes, get him in there, Dave. Does somebody have a rock?
Oh, thank God you snuck the rock in here.
If you can get that rock into his mouth.
I don't care if you lose your hand doing it.
Give your hand for our lives.
He's just shoving a rock down the thing's throat as hard as he can,
losing his arm in the process.
If you have men like that, five or six of us can get it done.
Six, definitely not.
So whatever number you pick subtract one
right off the bat why does taylor have a bigger objection to six than five i'm really stuck on
that oh i thought the other one was eight kyle says take five or six and taylor's like definitely
not six definitely not five or six uh i would like at least 10 because think about it it's faster it's like it will kill one or two
easily because the way like cats aren't they're not they're not hyenas they're not wild dogs the
way cats kill prey is they as soon as you are immobilized they bite the back of your neck and
kill you it's like they I strongly disagree with that cats are known for playing with their food
they toy with their prey they this isn't going to be prey, though.
They're going to be...
It's going to be more akin to when you see hyenas
and lions facing off, and the lion
is outnumbered, and he's not sure of himself.
If we all
run up to it, hands high,
wide, we're shoulder to shoulder,
hands up, jumping, hooping, and hollering,
he's scared. He is not
in aggressive... He's in that sort
of on his back foot like get the fuck away from me who are what is this shit kind of mode he's not
in full run at us and start eating one after another he's freaked the fuck out because five
grown men hooping and hollering hands above their heads screaming and trying to get him like because
when i told mike that shit he took it to heart. Mike heard my pregame speech and he took it to heart.
He's up there with that rock.
I like Zach's strategy more than the one we've outlined so far.
Imagine we have eight guys, right?
And the point is to spend the first six hours frightening the cat.
I like it.
Booga, booga, booga.
Run around the stadium.
Whatever it takes.
Just like, like make him. Just make him nervous.
Make him aggressive.
Dude, you're so right.
And then you put him in that state for so long.
That's the one thing humans do better than maybe anything but cats.
And we're smart enough not to be afraid.
When we see it afraid, we'd get hyped up.
We'd be like, this is working.
Mm-hmm.
Think about how like you see on the Discovery Channel that you know on the discovery channel when it's
really hot and you see the lion like panting and they're like the lion will rest until the sun
no it's the middle of the day on the fucking gladiatorial arena and and and rome it's hot
as shit out there open stadium dumbass and we're eating down and we're out there fucking jogging
maybe we can't cut a seven minute mile but those jabronis could okay that's why we hired him if you
would have told me two minutes ago that you would swing me on this i would have said you idiot but
my god zach that is a good ass idea man like scaring the shit out of it getting its cortisol
levels so high it's just so stressed out yeah it's tired and then damn you're right you're
playing there for the. The problem though
while it is probably
the best possible method
what if the crowd starts
booing at some point and they don't like
it and they just release a couple
more lions?
How many guys do we need for three increasingly
confident lions?
Or instead of that, they release like a bear.
So now the lion and the bear hate each other more than they care that you're even there.
They can get crazy with it.
Some of those shows that you read about that occurred there,
where they would flood the arena and have these naval battles,
where you would have two ships floating in water
in a coliseum
side one another and the men on side
would battle each other
to recreate a naval battle that had happened
the month or the week before
because we don't have TV
but imagine that, that's so cool
it's incredible
I'm impressed they can put a basketball
court on top of a hockey rink.
That's another level.
I always forget that
when I'm watching. I'm like, oh, it's just not always
cold here.
It's often basketball is played.
Yeah, you forget.
It's wild how modern arenas work.
Well, I guess it's time to wrap. I had fun this show.
Yeah, me too. I always do.
PKS 454.