Painkiller Already - PKN 454

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 all right pkn 454 how are you boys pretty good i tried to watch hockey with y'all last night but i just man it was like an hour into the game nobody scored you know and i get that that happens and not in basketball doesn't happen it's not true they score every second basketball they give free points away all the time hey you want to middle ground somewhere football they stop the whole game and let a guy attempt to do it with no defense played all the time. It's part of the game. But I don't know.
Starting point is 00:00:30 They hadn't scored. I guess so. They hadn't scored for a long time, or at all, I should say. So then they scored twice, and I guess I was rooting for New York because I just think of New Jersey as the bad guys. I just think of their fans as bad bad guys. I just think of their fans as bad people. All the players are bad.
Starting point is 00:00:50 The fans are bad. The ownership is bad. The place they play is bad. Exit 16W, fuck you and your lore. I don't give a shit. I have heard where they play is horrible. This is the Devils? The Devils. Maybe it's their arena that's shitty but yeah
Starting point is 00:01:05 they have a big complex with new york that woody pointed out in our chat earlier we're like they're always like oh new york like we're coming for you and they never come for them like for like 20 years they haven't come for them and so last night was like new jersey north jersey has to be happy over it because like new york is going to wake up this morning and be like what other teams do we have and just like find a different one to follow for a while yeah you missed like all the scoring there's four tonight all the scoring came at the end of the game there i stopped when it was two nothing and switched over to hbo new york one um new jersey new jersey now jersey's taking on the carolina hurricanes round two all All right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Yeah. Sweet T was just not himself. The Hurricanes are one of the better teams in the regular season. Maybe second best? Taylor would know. Yes, second or third. They were close. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:01 But in the postseason, they haven't really been sweeping and kicking ass. So we'll see. I mean, they play the islanders the islanders are not great but like it's not like they took carolina to seven like carolina had an off game or two and then they brought it back together like i think carolina wipes new jersey in five games i think they absolutely butt fuck new jersey i think all those young kids on new jersey are so excited to be out of the first round and it's going to get very real when they're up against you know a team that's actually trying because watching New York I was like Patrick Kane does not seem to be trying at all out there it's not that like him and Panarin two guys who make 25 million combined we're like out there just kind of turning it over and I'm
Starting point is 00:02:40 like that's what if I were Patrick Kane right there, that's the play I would have made. Turned it over and then lazily skated to the bench. It's like, oh my God, what are you doing? If you had 30 million in the bank and what,
Starting point is 00:02:57 four rings already? Yeah. You might be chilling too. I bet so. Everybody else is like, Patrick, please. And he's like, I already got three.
Starting point is 00:03:04 I got a dynasty. I don't care. I wanted please. And he's like, I already got three. I got a dynasty. I don't care. I wanted to go shopping. That's why I requested this trade. There's really good malls in this area. I hope that's not true. Because I really like it when people do the full Tom Brady. They ruin their lives to get another ring.
Starting point is 00:03:18 They throw it all down the drain. They're like, why family? No ring. Dynasty. Every finger on this hand oh did i forget about this guy he's getting toe rings catching up yeah i like the other part of kyle which is like he fixed his life he won another super bowl ring he ditched the wife and kids now he took half his should have been no see that's motivation now he's gonna earn it back you give me would i take 10 billion dollars or a book that says
Starting point is 00:03:47 how to make 10 billion dollars i just feel bad whenever i find myself like on a restaurant or like a railroad i try to figure out how i can own that railroad i'm not to be i'm not there to be a customer i'm there to buy it that's especially true park place or boardwalk god what a douchebag you'd have to be like say that like like some millionaire i guarantee like a billionaire who said shit like that is like talking to his other billionaire buddies beforehand he's like check this out yeah every time i'm on it every time i'm on a train i'm imagining getting into the train business it's just like laughing at you mine was a stolen monopoly but yeah that it's not that those guys weren't trying it's that like
Starting point is 00:04:32 it's the same sad thing you're seeing with Brady now maybe I don't know how great Brady is but like players who rely on speed and agility get into their mid-30s and they're still trying to play speed and agility like Patrick Kane it's kind of sad where it's like oh you were the best American player in the world for a long time and now like you kind of tripped there a bit didn't you like hmm was he the one who did that pirouette in the middle of the ice it looked like a figure skater no that was a guy on the devils uh Jack Hughes who must Hughes was having a terrible night! He fell on his own four times. He did a backflip, that red line slippery,
Starting point is 00:05:10 and he went right over it and just He tried to argue like hooking. I guess he was trying to score and the guy hooked his elbow and might have made it if he hadn't interfered with him that way. And while he's arguing, they've got the puck and they're gone.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And it's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Like, yeah, the pressure of the moment got to Hughes there a little bit. Yep, yep, little hot end of the collar. Just moved along. It's like, that was a huge fuck up. He's out there yelling. I'll tell it quickly because I know you're not basketball guys,
Starting point is 00:05:41 but the opposite has happened to my team, the 76ers. So, two guys, we have James Harden, former MVP, used to be the best player on planet earth. He's a little older now and we got him in a trade for an absolutely head case doesn't play great, great, great trade. We also have Joel Embiid who is likely to be this year's MVP, the best player, basketball player walking on the earth right now so they said okay old dude look your your role's not the same as it used to be you can't score like you once did your job is to pass facilitate run this team use your vision and make it all happen like an old gretzky led the nba in passing this year well the star that he's paired with is hurt with a knee problem
Starting point is 00:06:25 so they're like uh james you still got any of those moves and uh nope he does though oh good score he dropped 45 points it was one of the highest scoring playoff performances in like history yeah whatever like top 20 or something and there's only been three guys to do that over 33 years old ever. He's one of them. They had him passing. He had at least for one more game. We beat the Boston Celtics, which is a chocolate thunder scene. We're talking on Discord all the time now. I don't know who he's talking basketball with.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Somehow the Sixers beat the Celtics. They're an underdog without their best player. In the series? They beat them in the series? The first games happened. They're just one game in. We stole home court from them. I almost called it home ice.
Starting point is 00:07:16 And I'll stop talking about basketball. I'm very excited. My team is underdog one, and our guy's knee is getting better every day. We'll see. That's pretty cool. Best of seven. Same as hockey, right?
Starting point is 00:07:26 Same as hockey. I do like the story of the old player getting off the bench and still having a little bit in him. I think there's a Randy Quaid movie called The Rookie about a high school pitching coach who, I don't know why he didn't play in the majors. It was some sad thing
Starting point is 00:07:42 in his past, right? Like a dying parent needs him to stay on the farm. My last wish is don't play in the majors. It was some sad thing in his past, right? Like dead, dying parent needs him to stay on the farm or something. My last wish is don't play in the majors. Nope. My last wish. Don't you answer that letter from the Cardinals. This is your family farm. Something like that legit happened.
Starting point is 00:07:59 I don't remember what it was. But there's this scene where he. Yeah, true story story by the way and there's this little there's this touching scene where he doesn't know if he's still got it or not and he's out he doesn't want anybody to see him practicing or like believing in himself at all because he doesn't want to believe and he's out by one of those uh speed checking signs on the on a lonely patch of road and uh he throws it his heart he He gives it all he's got, you know. And it says, like, I don't remember what it was,
Starting point is 00:08:28 like 55 or something. And he, like, looks down at the fucking ground, like, shakes his head. And the light flickers a little bit. It goes 95. And he's like, oh, okay. Like, you know, another pixel filled in and made it what he wanted.
Starting point is 00:08:44 It was a cool moment. And then it's so much better than the rookie of the year, which is when that child just slips and hurts his arm and gets to be a major league player. I liked that movie. This is the opposite of that. I was an injury away from playing for the Indians. So watch them back to back.
Starting point is 00:08:59 And then watch Angels in the Outfield right after. That literally had, was it Christopher Lloyd as an actual come to jesus angel with wings who flew down and cheated to help the the angels win the pennant not the series the pennant and yeah like that when i understood that watching it as a kid i was like wait the pennant that's that's not even the big one so like right yeah no it's like winning your conference or however they do it like you're like then you go to the is it when i don't even know if it's winning the al or the nl like winning your whole um side or or if it's just winning your um you're like like the nl east like is that a pennant i think it is it's the al oh it's the whole league okay i just googled. I wouldn't have otherwise known.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Is that a big thing in baseball? Do people care about trophies other than the big one? It's a consolation prize. I don't even know what it looks like if there is an actual trophy, but there is something to be said when you win your division every year. That's a thing. When you win your – and winning the whole NL is a big deal. A lot of times AL teams are just better.
Starting point is 00:10:03 They just seem like they are. I don't know. They seem like they were more powerful for years and maybe... In hockey, those trophies they get for the equivalent of the pennant for the winner of the conference, teams won't touch it. Teams don't touch the
Starting point is 00:10:20 trophy. The consolation prize. Oh, yeah. For sure. So many hockey guys are weird. So many sports guys are like weird, uh, superstitious that like a couple of years ago, like some guy like thoughtlessly touched it. And like,
Starting point is 00:10:32 apparently like it was a thing to some people in the locker room. Like the fuck. It's yeah. No, I would buy into that. Sidney Crosby is so superstitious. He was born in 87. His number is 87.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And the penguins like 20, like 15, 18 years ago was like, how much money do you want best player since gretzky and he was like 8.7 million and they're like really okay yes hard bargain yours like he could have worked on that math a little better right you know like done a monthly salary or something found a way to Instead of doing 8.7 million a year Maybe you could have done 87 million Oh, and 87 grand an hour
Starting point is 00:11:09 After that contract, that superstition went right away Hey, 8.7 again, right, Sidney? Fuck you Oh, I found a new show last night I think it's actually brand, brand new It's called The White House Plumbers and it's got um oh what's it harrelson right woody harrelson yeah yeah yeah he's the he's what's killing it with me but the other guy who i don't recognize perhaps because he's wearing makeup and disguises often in the show i've only seen one episode because i believe
Starting point is 00:11:39 there is only one i think they're eking them out one a night um but it's the story of watergate it's and i think a lot of people don't one a night um but it's the story of watergate it's and i think a lot of people don't know that i don't i know the broad strokes essentially the nixon campaign the re-election campaign uh nixon was was was a piece of shit okay first of all just know that and they were gonna win anyway they were they were leading in this election and they were going to get re-elected they did get re-ed. But he has this nefarious little group of people who, among other things, are searching for communists in the media and watching civil rights leaders and stuff like that. But he has a guy named G. Gordon Liddy, who I'm familiar with because of his radio show, which I listened
Starting point is 00:12:21 to daily growing up. G. Gordon Liddy is former FBI, former lots of scary things. He would often talk about ways to kill people with gruts, I think, and pencils and all sorts of ways to tear a man's finger off if you were able to wrestle the gun from him, the way to turn the pistol so his finger got ripped backwards off. It's crazy shit like that. And he's played like that in the show, which is awesome. It's hilarious to see their depiction of him. But basically, they're bumbling idiots
Starting point is 00:12:50 who are on their way to commit the Watergate break-in. In the first episode, what they're trying to do, the political opponent sees a psychiatrist, so they're going to Florida to break into the psychiatrist's office, take pictures of the medical records of the candidate and find out if he's a communist spy or something like that because they've made that up in their heads and they bungle their way through it the way that teenagers would they and but but it comes out and it works out okay so they end up with some pictures and nixon fires the person
Starting point is 00:13:25 above them hot like puts them on the fast track they're like let's just say you impress the right kind of people in the white house they like your gumption no pussy footing mr nixon hates that yeah they're like and woody harrelson's like yeah sure no no pussy footing with us and g gordon lady's like absolutely black back they keep going back and forth whether you're doing a black op or a black bag because i guess one guy's cia and one guy's fbi when in reality it seems like both of them got fired really early in their careers in those agencies and are buffoons but uh it's it's almost too silly is it a comedy that's what i'm saying it's almost too silly if he is i doesn't recognize him okay he was a watergate figure a minor one i guess he was young and then his whole career was made on watergate but i'm
Starting point is 00:14:14 so lost on the detail what is he i don't know he has a gigantic nixon tattoo on him that's interesting can you find a picture of roger stone's nixon tattoo if you show me a picture of roger stone i might know if he's depicted in the in in the show because i'm you know that's before any of our times i think that watergate stuff so i'm again i'm broad strokes on all that but it's it's what i know about uh roger stone is he has the worst forehead of any man in america it's the weirdest shaped pinhead can you get us a profile shot of that gentleman, Zach? He is so... You can almost see his pinhead here.
Starting point is 00:14:49 It's a hell of a tattoo. That's terrible. It's very well done. Yeah, he's got a terrible head. I see it. Borderline Zika virus. Oh, shit. That's not the...
Starting point is 00:15:04 How do people not stop him in the streets and and try to stab him in the heart with a fucking wooden stake or something this is clearly a day walker look at the hairline he that now throw up a picture of bram stoker's dracula like literally throw up a picture of bram stoker's dracula he's wearing the same glasses if there's one from the side of that nose It's like he has a different animal-shaped skull. It's odd. His eyes are very close together. Dude, he makes that guy on the right go along with him
Starting point is 00:15:32 so his head looks more normal. When he takes that hat off, it's a perfect triangle. This guy's old. I don't think they'd let him recuse his actual role in Watergate. They'd make him play an old uh well that guy from the marvel movies who would just walk in and be like i think that was spider-man and like rob what's his name i know it's not robert e lee stanley oh i don't think he meant that oh i don't know if he was asking if the real roger stone was in there playing a character or not but uh there's a lot of historical characters who are depicted
Starting point is 00:16:05 because it's a real well-known thing. The way it ends up, spoiler alert for some shit that happened in the 70s, they eventually... The opening scene is hilarious because it's them and three Mexicans trying to pick the lock at the Watergate hotel, and
Starting point is 00:16:21 the text at the bottom goes, Watergate break-in. Attempt number two of four. and they don't have the right and the next thing goes i do not have the right tools and they like translates this spanglish to to g gordon lilly's like he doesn't have the right tools i mean he does have them but not you know not here all right let's go. Come on, everybody, pack it up. And they just sneak back out. They just leave. And I guess that's a true, that's factual, that it took these idiots four attempts
Starting point is 00:16:52 to break into what it is, the DCC headquarters. Like, they were breaking into the Democratic National Convention's headquarters that was in the Watergate Hotel. And, you know, one door is all you got to get through. You just got to pick one door. They don't have, like, a front desk guy or something again they sent us they sent cia and fbi black bag agents in to do this so they got around some stuff you know oh like the president this is why this was such a big deal they are in
Starting point is 00:17:17 the show it's a little bit of both right i mean they did get caught. It wasn't a big... At the time, it was a really big deal. But nowadays, snooping on papers from your rival campaign doesn't... It seems commonplace and normal and benign. It's still compared to
Starting point is 00:17:39 what happens today all the time. No? Come on. I totally agree. If this happened today, they'd be like, yeah, they were finding stuff out. Don't you as an American want to know? The president of the United States ordered federal employees to break the law. It was a huge conspiracy.
Starting point is 00:17:55 They had code names and shit. They do. Literally. The president and his chain of command, right down to G. Gordon Liddy, have a vast conspiracy on tape, mind you, to break into a place, like criminally break and enter, and steal. That's different than, I hope the Russians look into it. Hey, if there's papers out there, look into them. Hey, whatever they find, I'll look at.
Starting point is 00:18:21 It's different. It's different. Sure. they thought i'll look at it's it's different it's different sure but i maybe people had higher expectations of politicians back then like if i found out people were doing that i would if that happened today the president would be gone the same way he was gone back then i know he wouldn't so here's the thing that's happening now yes clarence thomas it says he had more to his name is he clarence thomas jr uh the supreme court justice the black guy do you know about this already does everyone know
Starting point is 00:18:50 apparently one he's been getting very lavish vacations from his billionaire friend a half a million dollars on a vacation is what it was worth not in cash but he got a half million dollars it's awesome i'll digress for a second. I kind of push back on that number. What they did is they're like he took this guy's private plane and he stayed on his gigantic private yacht and they
Starting point is 00:19:16 went from town to town in the yacht doing this stuff and this would cost half a million dollars if he rented it. Yeah, sure. But he was a tag along on this guy doing it anyway yeah they pitched it like he gave him half a million worth of walking around cash yeah no he gave him a seat on the plane and his wife yeah okay so that's one thing he did this same billionaire bought his mom's house 33 years ago she still lives there he renovated the house for the judge's mom right he spent
Starting point is 00:19:47 something like 60 000 100 no it was like 140 000 renovating the home and yeah still lives there he basically just gave his mom all this cash and uh it's pretty crooked and i feel like that thing going on there is at least as bad as Watergate. The chief justice, Roberts, his wife has a job of telling law firms which attorneys to hire. That's his wife's job. She makes $10 million doing that. And it's like, you're going to tell me she's not like just fucking selling.
Starting point is 00:20:23 These people all do business. Of course she is in court these people do business in front of the supreme court and pay her 10 million dollars to find out which attorneys to hire this feels like huge corruption and uh it's corruption and nepotism are are terrible and commonplace however there is still a difference but they're not chargeable crimes like what watergate was was chargeable crimes. The whole point was they were at the precipice of arresting the president. That's why he left office.
Starting point is 00:20:52 They were going to get him. He was going to jail. They were going to come and get him. And the big problem was he had an adversarial FBI. He had J. Edgar Hoover in there. He'd give J. Edgar Hoover an order, and the FBI would come back with, Mr. Hoover runs the FBI. He had J. Edgar Hoover in there. He'd give J. Edgar Hoover an order and the FBI would come back with Mr. Hoover runs the FBI. You know, like if you'd like to talk to him
Starting point is 00:21:10 you'd come down to his offices and he's free on Mondays in the mornings. Dude, that guy if you want to like do deep dives on an interesting character, that guy is so interesting. Hoover. Like the amount of power that guy had behind the scenes, like it's unreal.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Like he was the kind of guy who could like just like put his fucking finger in the president's chest. Just like, fuck you almost like, oh, oh, it's interesting. Oh, that's that's right. You have that election thing. See, I'm kind of a king here. Your predecessor, you know, I was here, too. And I rolled him and I'm going to roll you and I'll roll the next guy. And it's like, he was so fucking,
Starting point is 00:21:50 he's blackmailing every president, everyone honey potted, everyone like trapping people in sex scandals. Like that dude had fingers in every pot. That dude had recordings. Honey pot means something else. Oh no, no,
Starting point is 00:22:02 no. Honey pot that I, okay. Yeah. He's got MLK on tape. He's got mlk on tape he's got mlk on tape um i'm fucking he's got the president on tape fucking he's got robert kennedy on tape fucking he's he knows all their drug habits their what their what communist they might be hanging out and partying with what dope they're smoking and he's just waiting for them to have a problem
Starting point is 00:22:23 with him and he's going to show him that file yeah but did you see the movie uh with leonardo dicaprio i think i haven't i need to watch that was it leo it might not have been him it's it's i was i remember the movie was good and they focused on like his gay relationship with his second in command a lot because he was on yeah yeah it's called jay Edgar. I've never heard that he was a cross-dresser or that he was gay. Yeah, he was gay. Oh, everyone knows this but me. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that was a common thing.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Well, he tried to keep it on the down-low himself, so it's not surprising that he is still powerful enough to keep you blind to his homosexuality to this day. I'm going to chalk it up to Jay Edgar Hoover's power. I like it. No, I'm with you. I'm not going to push back at all. You shouldn't.
Starting point is 00:23:09 But yeah, I don't know. I think the TV show, one way or another, is going to be kind of a fun watch. Again, the first episode was a little too silly. But I think if I were to Wikipedia, I'd be like, oh my god, that really happened? Because there's a part where they go and they're went over their heads.
Starting point is 00:23:28 But people keep believing them because they talk themselves up too much. And they're down there with these goofy disguises. Like over the top unnecessary. One's got a fake limp, fake teeth, fake wigs, all this shit. And instead of just taking pictures of the office or in the street, they're posing in those photographs like tourists to make it seem more casual. So now there they are in like, like setting themselves up like exhibit a exhibit B exhibit C a picture of me out in the doctor's parking space that we're going to break into outside his office. Here's his car. Here's
Starting point is 00:24:02 his license plate. And here's the, his name on the concrete, you know, spray painted his office here's his car here's his license plate and here's the his name on the concrete you know spray painted and here's the the the agent sitting on the bumper of the car giving a thumbs up boom there's exhibit b okay now here's us breaking in here's his diploma so you don't think confuse this with anyone else's office just just and then it's like intentionally stupid it's so brain dead oh it gets worse So they borrowed the camera from Langley, FBI headquarters, doing the job for sort of separate on this little weird island of a job kind of thing, separate from anybody, just for the president. When they returned the camera, they leave the film in it. They leave the film.
Starting point is 00:24:41 They weren't like that bumbling. They did. Again, it took them four attempts to pick one lock they and don't imagine that they kept coming back the same night for like a week or two four or five men were having to dress up go into this place and they were failing time after time after time i'm saying like that's so wild to me to hear this that it's like that seems like an inside thing like if like you couldn't how on earth does it take you four times to break in how do you go we got the don't worry we set ourselves up in our goofy super noticeable costumes in the perfect place for evidence and then we left the evidence well it's like how it comes down to corruption
Starting point is 00:25:22 because woody harrelson's character couldn't have pulled that off so they corruption because Woody Harrelson's character... Mr. McDougal couldn't have pulled that off. So they give Woody Harrelson's character like $2,600 for the first job, the big Florida job of photographing and breaking into the doctor's office. And they want to keep all the money. So they're having this discussion. G. Gordon's like, who the hell works for $2,600 on a job like this? And Woody Harrelson's like, my guys are real patriots. They work for free.
Starting point is 00:25:47 And he's got Bay of Pigs Cubans. He's got the Cubans that Kennedy had turned his back on on the whole Cuban invasion thing. Basically, he's got terrorists who don't speak good English, who were once affiliated with the United States very sketchily.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Who don't speak English well. Thank you. That very sketchily. Don't speak English. Well, thank you. That's even better. Cause it's cause, cause they speak a little, there'll be this moment where they all like say the same word because they know that one. It's a,
Starting point is 00:26:14 it's a lot of fun, but, but it's a little too silly. Uh, if, if I don't know, I need to watch more of it. I'm watching.
Starting point is 00:26:22 We finished Dr. Who last season, thumbs up. According to me, uh, if you like Dr. Who, Doctor Who last season. Thumbs up, according to me. If you like Doctor Who, you'll like it. But we're on Band of Brothers now. And that's a good show. Band of Brothers gets it done.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Five miles up, five miles down. Yeah, it's awesome. Three? Is it three? Damn, why have I been saying five for years? I'm really current on it. Oh, I believe you. No, I believe you, 100%.
Starting point is 00:26:41 And it honestly makes more sense because we've all been up to the top of that thing and it didn't feel like five miles. Wait, we went there? Yeah. After the camping trip? Yeah. The spray paint at the top? That's it.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Whoa. I got to tell Jackie that. Yeah, you've been to the top. I made Wings walk to the top of it. Get out. Did you say it? He's done the walk. I've got the video of it somewhere.
Starting point is 00:27:04 It's me in the passenger seat of my truck with Jeremy driving, just filming out the passenger seat like, come on! Keep it up! Did he get up in 23 minutes like they do in the movie? Dude, it was getting dark. I might have driven him the last couple hundred yards.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Hi-oh, silver! Just dust and shit flying as I spin out in front of them jack no i appreciate that so three miles 23 minutes i can't run three miles in 23 minutes downhill right now like if you asked me if you said woody run a single seven minute mile i would tell you no no i'm not your guy surely there's someone around here who could do what you need it would it would it takes a lot of we were running those sub seven minute miles in high school yeah in high school i did it yeah um college i i you know i i think y'all y'all's times are better than mine
Starting point is 00:28:06 but mine's under seven minutes I don't think I I I think I they had us doing a quarter mile a day up leading up to it and you could really tell as in high school as a as a 17 year old I was like oh every day I'm better it was every day like your cardio was getting better I don't think it's like that anymore because I know just doing cardio for like cutting weight it's just dreadful it's just dreadful i yeah like two years ago maybe three i did this thing where i ran every day every day it was like 25 out of 30 days for a month and uh like the first day i run i'm sore and then i'm like wow the the i guess the shin split like the muscle right next to your shin that just got worse every single day i run i'm sore and then i'm like wow the the i guess the shin split like the muscle right next to your shin that just got worse every single day i'm like oh i can feel right where that
Starting point is 00:28:50 bone's broken and the hardware is there i don't normally feel my bones this is weird i feel it just all day now like broken bone nice good yeah it just yeah i don't think running's the the move for uh for people at all really for health reasons i think that elliptical man i swear by that shit it's just so there's no impact you're getting your movement in um and it's and you can go back and forth between upper body and lower body if you do burn out a muscle group because if i'm just on the bike i'll burn my legs out if i'm not careful if i try to go for a sprint real quick and catch my heart rate up, say my heart rate drops to lower than it's supposed to be, on the elliptical, I'll pound it out like 50-50 legs and arms and get my
Starting point is 00:29:35 heart rate racing again. And then I can cruise again, sort of a 70-30 split, 80-20 split. But on the bike, you just got to get it everything you got with your legs. And I'll burn my legs out doing that. It doesn't work for me hypothetically if i wanted cardio i think the thing for me would be public bicycling like in a group ride i know you guys hate them you think it should be okay to hit them and i see where you're coming from but there's like a social dynamic a competitive dynamic and the bike and i just enjoy outdoors and the wind and the sun. That would be my version of cardio I think I'd like. I could get on board with
Starting point is 00:30:10 the stationary bike and the video game aspect of it. But what I would prefer, once again, would be the elliptical set up to the same thing, competing against other people on ellipticals in my age group. That I would dig. That I would dig a lot. It's neat when you find one of your exercises like like it i like
Starting point is 00:30:29 bench press i like tricep push downs with the bar not the rope the two ropes but the bar yeah and i've heard the two ropes is better you can go to the bottom and pull them apart and like i get it i get it but you know what i like this one you know i like that but you can do more yeah i'm fine with that there's no shortage of weight in my gym yeah that was one of i was yeah you've probably seen all that arnold arnold schwarzenegger gold's gym shit but i remember one of his favorites is what's the one where you lie on the bench and sort of your hands go over your head and grab the bar that's sitting on the floor behind you and you're pulling them skull crushers i've heard it called skull crusher oh my god he was doing them so heavy he was doing them so he's like this is one of my favorite exercises i like to go
Starting point is 00:31:13 so heavy so heavy and it's like a million of these thin plates that don't even like meet in modern specifications this giant thing he's just and he's just, every, every rep is, yeah, every rep is a scream. And the guy with him is like, 20 more! And he's like, he's just like getting them out. I love watching him work out.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Putting the bar in place. Oh, not, not on that exercise, but I've, I've watched all his gold gym stuff and I've watched all, I love pumping iron.
Starting point is 00:31:44 I, if you want to get you want to watch something to get you hyped up for uh uh to to go work out don't watch the movie pumping iron because that's honestly just gay like like and there's nothing wrong with that like you could jerk it out you could jerk it i bet again but but what you want is a pumping iron montage you want somebody to edit out some of the lamer bits and sillier stuff and you want to boil it right down to arnold just getting jacked as fuck in the gym and screaming. That's sort of my problem.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I spent an hour watching Pumping Brian. Yeah, that's a different movie. It's a different movie. I'm also gay. Pumping Aaron. You know what I like? Is it Ron Coleman? The guy who's like, everybody wants to be a bodybuilder.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Ain't no one one to lift these heavy ass weight yeah that speaks to me when i see him say that i'm like fuck yeah i'll pick him up let's do it i lived here today and i had to i hurt my back i haven't been moaning about it but i really fuck that it's been uh impacting my happiness and uh but today i got back in the gym and i felt so good about it when you lift regularly your muscles are just they're not always like recovering like they're i've got like 10 of a pump all the time and my muscles are firmer i got soft i don't know that i got much smaller but i feel like i got softer and right now like all my push muscles are like all right woody we're
Starting point is 00:33:01 back dude that is i know exactly what you're talking about because like if i go like two weeks and i'm fiddle fucking around and i haven't worked out like obviously you're not losing size in two weeks but like i'll just be like i'm just i'm just so small and soft you're totally recovered bitch I'm just a little bitch. I'm never supposed to be 100%. And I'll convince myself. I'm like, you've lost so much. You've lost so much. And then I go down and I work out way too hard and I come upstairs and it's like,
Starting point is 00:33:33 oh, it's okay. Oh, it's okay. Nothing happened. Work out way too hard. See, you're not 50. I'm getting back into it. I've been shopping for one of those ice barrels to do the ice submersion it. I've been shopping for one of those ice barrels to do like the ice submersion.
Starting point is 00:33:48 You've probably seen UFC fighters. Like a horse trough type thing? No, the barrel. It looks like a Donkey Kong video game barrel. It's a 105-gallon barrel. It's shaped like a barrel from a video game that you would shoot and it would explode. Like a whiskey barrel.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Like a whiskey barrel, but it's hard. It's plastic and it has a lid that fits well like a cooler. So once you get it cold, it stays cold. And they're $1,000. They're $1,000? Yeah, but just $1,200. And it's like, come on, man. Is that it?
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yeah, that's it. For $1,100, that should not be so ugly. I think it looks fine. I don't want it to be flashy or anything. It's a barrel of ice. You can get them much cheaper. So I'm in the market for something similar because I'm... I like that, Zach. That's good.
Starting point is 00:34:34 You do that one limb at a time. An old diesel barrel with the top hastily cut off with a hatchet. When you keep a big fish tank, you keep like 60 gallons of you keep like 60 gallons of fresh water and 60 gallons of salt water on hand all the time for emergency water changes or just scheduled or whatever and uh that's why i'm on the market for something similar and you can go to online i'll have to give you websites but also northern tool not northern tool um agriculture supply sells big rain barrels and shit like that yeah maybe yours is special and
Starting point is 00:35:06 insulated better it is well well that's its thing that's got to be its claim to fame that first of all the things that i would want this thing it needs to be big enough for me after i displace the all the water right because it's a little different than just being able to fit in it and it needs to uh be insulated because the ice gets annoying and expensive to refill after a while because i've done this before and it's every night you're going to the ice gets annoying and expensive to refill after a while because I've done this before. It's every night you're going to the local gas station and getting those gigantic long bags that you've only seen at lake trips
Starting point is 00:35:32 or something, picnics and stuff. They're like, what are you doing with all of our ice? That's no fun. Calling all that ice is no fun. It'd be nice to just have it. I'd like to go full Jocko Wilnick or whatever and start those start like every day with a with a nice ice bath because i'm gonna be honest those guys are pussies when i hear about the amount of time that they do
Starting point is 00:35:54 i heard jocko like bragging about how oh some of these mma fighters they just dunk themselves in there and now i'm in there for a solid three minutes or six whatever he said matt said seven dude i never i i after my silly research i convinced myself that if i wasn't in there for 10 or 12 minutes we weren't getting anything done i would get myself borderline hyperthermic when i come out of there dude i'd be pale i look like leonardo at the end of titanic i know you've never seen that taylor but he's bobbing up and down in the cold water, and he's pale. Lips are blue and shit.
Starting point is 00:36:29 One time I actually did stay in too long because after a while you go numb, and you tell yourself you're being tough, but in reality you're just numb. It's easier now anyway. When I got out, I had a hard time stopping shivering. I couldn't stop shivering. It probably took two hours of being under the covers. Oh, look at that. got out, I had a hard time stopping shivering. I couldn't stop shivering and probably
Starting point is 00:36:45 took two hours of being under the covers. It's probably smaller than he really wants, but maybe he could live with it. But you could save $900. Well, it doesn't look that small. And you get to be a Spartan. I bet that's a little guy. I bet that they purposefully hired some 120-pound guys
Starting point is 00:37:02 who are ripped as fuck. How many gallons i wonder that is amazon has some really cheap ones but you know how that goes can you find the gallon zach it must it may be maybe burying the lead have you ever done that taylor you didn't in football right or something in a high school wrestling yeah okay yeah it's it i can't imagine starting a day off in an ice bath like i think it would make me cranky like i i love my 300 liters like i've recently started like i had never like kyle you would like this you'd approve 80 i've never ever used 100 like 180 that doesn't seem like i said 80 oh 80 my guess would be more like 150 isn't it like 2.1 liters per gallon or something
Starting point is 00:37:48 2.2 liters about a quart there we go 79.25 fucking dead on over there stupid metric system uh no i would i would never do ice baths regularly even if i had one it would be one of those things that like i walked by and was like i'd like make big plans to do it and then i'd wake up and be like you make a ritual of it no like i like my boiling lava hot showers that dry my skin out so bad i love i started putting sarah v on my face because i was like why is my skin so dry and it's like what is that sarah it's like it's just like moisturizer. It's for cowboy hands. Because I absolutely refuse to not take lava showers because it's so relaxing. I want the water to be so hot it's like barely tolerable.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Big bath guy. I'm all about the bath. I like that the bath makes you sweat water. And I just have this idea that when you're drinking that gallon a day, that you should be trying to sweat out as much water as you can to like, I don't know, flush your pores, flush your, whatever systems are involved with making the water turn into sweat. I think those running continuously has to be a good thing.
Starting point is 00:38:55 And then I did read that thing where an hour long bath burned like a considerable amount of calories, the same amount as an hour long walk. And so as you're in there, you're just like, this is better than walking. Don't you like showering much more than baths though? No. Because I,
Starting point is 00:39:14 I mean, I do all three. I, when I, when I'm in the ritual, I'm doing all three, right? I,
Starting point is 00:39:19 I'm taking the hour long bath and then I'm showering off afterwards because I don't think you can get out of a bathtub and be clean. No, definitely not. Like that's a, that's a big negative of bathing with the bath is like you have to get out of it and then go get in the shower to rinse off all the sweat. Like I just want to,
Starting point is 00:39:36 and like the soap scum, like whatever nonsense was floating on the top of that water. There's a great scene. Oh, Chris Carly's last year. Yeah, sure. It's always wild that I sit in the bath
Starting point is 00:39:47 just being like, just like how low your balls are. Like after a boiling hot bath. You ever think that you're just like, god damn! Like that's just... Where are y'all going? That's not what they're normally like. They're running away. Get back in there!
Starting point is 00:40:03 Why can't my dick get extra long in the bath who made this decision chris farley's last movie is called like wagons east and it's about a bunch of people who are like frontiersmen and pilgrims and they they've had enough of it and they're like fuck this shit we're going back to chicago it's a wagons east they're all the losers and uh um there's a scene where chris farley takes his first bath and God knows how long and the the bathtub owner who charges you a nickel for a tub comes back in and looks at this this tub and what Chris Farley has done to it and he's just disgusted Chris Farley goes ah some of them flies was already in there because it looks like sewage.
Starting point is 00:40:45 It's just awful. It's not a great movie, but that's the movie he died making. And I've seen it a couple times. Yeah, yeah, it's not terrible. Yeah, we were talking about baths. I never shower alone anymore. Since we got our new bathroom,
Starting point is 00:40:58 Jackie and I shower together. Like, we didn't today, and I can't remember the previous time. I mean, you have to get your money's worth worth when you buy a shower that can fit 11 people you need at least two in there it's got to be that it would be almost rude not to be like hey honey i'm showering now you down i bet you could rent that bathroom out as a shooting location for porn like i bet yeah you shouldn't though you get right on that i you know Kyle, you're thinking... That's how you edge your way
Starting point is 00:41:28 into the lifestyle. Make your own porn, right? Take all the profits for myself. That's how you do it. Well, just be careful you don't imprison anyone. They'll take all your cars and be mean to you on the internet. They'll entertain you like do you feel sorry
Starting point is 00:41:47 for entertain even a little i was starring in this porn in my scenario oh i see i thought okay i don't know what's up with the entertain i haven't i think he's still locked up right every time i see a picture of him he's more oh okay well he's under house arrest right back in the usa no he lives in Romania I don't know if the trial was like not happening or what but he's just out out I think maybe his brother's still in I just know they kept showing those pictures of that man's
Starting point is 00:42:15 hairline and being mean to him they got every bad angle of him they could and made fun of him god damn after a while I couldn't tell if those tweets being attributed to him were his or not because they were getting cringy as fuck it was like the demon says let me in after a while you just let him in you just let him inside of you and it's like what are you what are you talking about right now did you get raped last night yeah yeah like are you in a romanian prison or
Starting point is 00:42:43 you kind of are at the library like what are you in a Romanian prison? Are you at the library? Like, what are you doing right now? I'm tweeting, bro. But every time I would see one, it's like, this is bizarre. When he tweeted that he had a full head of hair, the internet went wild on him. And I thought it was pretty deserving. He lacked a little self-awareness.
Starting point is 00:43:02 He absolutely does not have a full head of hair. You can't be making claims like that with that. Yeah, he's like, look at me, grizzled beard a full head of hair you can't be making claims like that with that yeah he's like look at me grizzled beard full head of hair still standing strong and we're like no no well he has like full head of hair on one of those technicalities where it like somehow thins everywhere equally all at once it well he's biracial just poof that's a better picture than the one that people were using yeah you want to use this angle you want to raise that camera up so you can see all up here he's biracial that's part of it so he's got that kinky black people hair mixed with our caucasian slickness and it's thinned out in a way that that is like partial lebron uh mixed with like i don't know,
Starting point is 00:43:47 a sender from Kentucky or something like that. He's got a mess going on up there. Yeah, he should go full bald. He was a pro fighter at one point. He usually does shave it, but they locked him up, and I guess he let it go. You've got razors and cream in there. I don't know why he wouldn't shave his head.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Yeah, he's got a phone. Your experience might not relate to Romania. I just think that's like a thing you get men. Like, they just, it just seems like, I can't imagine a jail they don't give you a razor in. Or maybe Andrew Tate's intentionally not doing stuff to make him appear more grizzled and mistreated. Or maybe he is being mistreated. Man, I think of a razor,
Starting point is 00:44:21 I think of a shaving razor as like a, I think of a shaving razor as like a human right. Like, all those military kits that would always come with the razors I think of a shaving razor as like a human right. All those military kits that would always come with the razors and the bubble gums and the cigarette. It's like, yeah, you can't be you without a razor. Can you have a beard in prison? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, in the prison I was at, for sure, I don't know what.
Starting point is 00:44:46 I would be surprised if there were places that made people shave their beards. Just on religious grounds, you'd have a mess. Making the Muslims shave? I saw a movie where they forced them to shave for identification reasons. So that they would easily be recognized. And there was a guy who was getting married. And he asked to grow his beard out for his marriage. And they let him do it. And then he escaped and
Starting point is 00:45:06 no one recognized they know who he was but you know movies can't go by that it's definitely a human rights thing like they couldn't just not give you an ability to shave like think of what it would be like if like if I had to go like
Starting point is 00:45:22 nine how long has he been in there like I had to go nine months without shaving that would be maybe three months even without shaving would be really uncomfortable it'd be unless you're one of those people that likes those like long beards but every time i've had that thought like five times in my life from like i see somebody with like one of those big giant beards and i'm like i'm gonna get a big giant beard and then like three weeks later it's like this is just hot and i can't eat or drink anything without my mustache getting wet and if you trim the mustache down too much while you have the big beard you look like a lunatic so you almost look like a fucking like like big mustache and yeah you don't want that speaking of lunatics you watch that video i sent
Starting point is 00:46:02 you of the the prisoner who saved up a month's worth of instant coffee. He saved up a month's worth of instant coffee. It's like freeze-dried coffee that dissolves in hot water. And he drank it all in one gulp. Like 28 packets of coffee. And he was fucking fiending. He was full goblin mode. Screaming and screechingching like having a full
Starting point is 00:46:27 goddamn meltdown hilarious the the cop or the prison guard who's in there is like this dude is losing his mind he's like it's coffee coffee gets through man i can handle the meth i can handle the meth i can't handle the coffee and the guy was like yeah yeah yeah let's cut out the coffee and the meth and then it like it cuts like an office thing to just like this guy gibbering to himself in the the clothing cell and the cop being like honestly we didn't believe him he told us he was all messed up on coffee it is 100 coffee like he's he's telling the truth it's just coffee like and this guy was i if i drink like too much coffee it is not a fun high it's panicky it's like it's it's not fun it can be too much it can be too
Starting point is 00:47:14 much but it's to me it's it feels like my body i get a little shaky i get a little shaky all over i don't like that uh but i have to take a lot of caffeine before that happens so they didn't let him shave no disposable razors in prison that's lame so he asked for his hair stylist to be brought in and they said no he asked for a playstation they said no to that too they said prisoners don't play
Starting point is 00:47:39 they pray alright but a razor a little bick like that's pretty shitty I'm with you actually Damn. But a razor, a little bick? That's pretty shitty. I'm with you, actually. So I can see why you'd want to tightly supervise the shaving area. You don't want razors just getting out into the population.
Starting point is 00:47:55 But they just don't let people shave in Romania? I can't get on... I can't fathom that. In the US, maybe those are special razors. I don't know. I I can't fathom that. In the U.S., maybe those are special razors. I don't know. I certainly didn't try to disassemble my razor and do anything with it.
Starting point is 00:48:12 I'm pretty sure those are just razors. They just gave us razors, and they weren't keeping up with the razors. It'd be hard to do much with one. It's less of a weapon and more of a tool. It's so little. I don't know. I feel like if I was being attacked and I had a like a tool it's so little i don't know i feel like it if i was being attacked and i had a razor especially if i had time to mount it to like
Starting point is 00:48:30 a toothbrush or something it would do damage sure i suppose you could good well i mean where you work i'll i'm sure they weren't that worried about it and where he is like isn't he as like in a solitary situation anyway so like what's he gonna do stab himself he acted himself? He acted like he was with his brother. He wanted a PlayStation. Oh. Well, he's not going to kill his brother. How many controllers did he ask for? Just one. That'd be great. I'd like a PlayStation 5
Starting point is 00:48:57 and one controller. It comes with two. Keep it. Keep it. That would be a true alpha prison you make everybody watch you play fucking playstation what games do you want Skyrim
Starting point is 00:49:13 that's it single player everyone can watch actually I bet that would be pop if you had Skyrim in your prison set up Kyle and there was some sort of rule where it was like because of special provisions this is awarded to kyle only one controller anyone can watch but no one else can touch he's done it before he's done do you think that like as you were
Starting point is 00:49:37 playing skyrim a true crowd would have gathered of people interested oh yes, yes. When I told them that I was not a once, twice, but... No, no, no. A thrice dragonborn. They would want me to guide them on the journey to the peaks of Frothscar or wherever the fuck. Man, that's pretty cool, man. How about you
Starting point is 00:49:59 open those mythical cheeks? To the depths of the dwemer holds goofy as hell when you're throating me that's funny watching video games is somehow either like really compelling or really boring and i can't explain why which is which yeah i was just thinking that like in a place like that any form of novelty even something that's not interesting at all to them on the outside would be like what is this like can you tell me if you set up mortal combat with two controllers there'd be a line but i think maybe if you just had a guy sitting there playing skyrim
Starting point is 00:50:41 uh somebody might want to play like hey, hey, can I go next? But I don't know if anybody's going to sit and really be into the story. I'd be surprised. Do you think people would bully around it? Like, it's your turn, and they're like, no. It's my turn. They'd set up rules to prevent that,
Starting point is 00:50:56 the same way they do with the TV. They do some, or the checkerboards, the Monopoly boards. That guy once told you what to watch on the white TV. Yeah. Well, in the morning, we watched the news. That was a rule that I was unaware of. See, that was like a...
Starting point is 00:51:13 In the morning, we watched the news! He was so adamant. All right, the news. It's just two old stations. It's the same story. You ever tell that someone cares way more about something than you do? it's just two stations it's the same story you ever like tell that someone cares way more about something than you do
Starting point is 00:51:29 and you've misstepped that's where I was that morning because his red bloodshot eyes and he was just so angry anyone who's had a pony he was just he was just so exasperated in the morning we watched the news and i just knew he could kill me
Starting point is 00:51:48 he'd been in there but i knew he wouldn't either though even someone who couldn't threaten you physically could extend your sentence yeah yeah i mean he's been in there for a decade and he had like two two to go i remember that he was the guy who ran the laundry but yeah yeah that was a i didn't understand that rule that didn't make sense to me that was contrary to what i had been told but in the morning we watched the news and i know that now so if i so next time i'm in prison i'll know that rule yeah like like i because i was staying up all night so i'd be up at 4 35 a.m when stuff like everybody loves Raymond and what's that stupid clip show with that with those assholes on it whatever it's
Starting point is 00:52:30 called that MTV show where they just watch internet clips ridiculousness we be watching that shit into the night replay after replay and then all of a sudden the news would start coming on because everybody's waking up and it's breakfast time yeah and the morning we watch the news in the morning we watch the news we got to stay up to date. And all it was about, dude, that's what was frustrating me, is because if he had been like, in the morning we watch Friends! I want to know if Ross and Rachel get together, god damn it!
Starting point is 00:52:59 If that was the play, I'd be like, dude, first of all, I'm not going to spoil it for you, but let me know if you want some insight. Second of all, yeah, let's turn it on and watch i'll i'll follow friends with you again but it but they just wanted to know what's going on in birmingham and montgomery like like oh and you the park service today said that little jimmy the the gophers made a nest and had babies oh isn't that great yeah little little gophers in the park all right moving on theresa what's the weather like today it's like why are we watching this everybody loves raymond's on i see where you're coming from if i was in prison long enough i'd be really curious about what's going on outside
Starting point is 00:53:33 like cnn i was into i could sit there and watch cnn all day because that is stuff i don't have read it you know so you they would it's breaking news for real finally for the first time ever uh it was not the one i remember the john jones um no it was i think it was dc stipe um it was one of those fights that that happened while i was in there and it got spoiled for me on espn i was so upset because i was doing my best to do like a media blackout on that fight and uh and i just saw like that i don't know. I think Cormier crying. I think I saw Cormier crying on ESPN and I was like,
Starting point is 00:54:09 shit, that's not a good cry. It's not a big thing. Cormier's got a, it's got a rough, ugly crying face. Well, he was also concussed.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Yeah. He can't make fun of him for looking ugly, crying with his brains all scrambled that's where you're wrong i absolutely can that's true memes and all kind of shit it's it's a good time yeah there was a there was nothing for me i hope it was it was an interesting little thing on the bare knuckle fighting uh championship side of things uh i guess luke rockhold former ufc everybody always talks him up and i'm like my dude he's game luke rockhole yeah pull up zach show it show taylor how beautiful luke rockhold is one of the most rockhold people ever to be in
Starting point is 00:54:51 the ufc he's an act he's worked as a male model even better than uh the the like fucking uh area than anyone who's looking guy this you'll see the blonde one who's like looks like a ken doll is all shredded he wasn't oh well that's a different kind of handsome i think yeah he's really good too You'll see. The blonde one who looks like a Ken doll is all shredded. That's a different kind of handsome, I think. Yeah, he's really good too. You don't know when your friends say handsome man and that dream comes true. See? This is what
Starting point is 00:55:18 Mike Perry did to him. That's not a great picture either. I'd like to see him in a suit or something at a press conference. I mean, he wasn't male model. Maybe him on the cover of a magazine with some cologne in his hand or something. This guy could be
Starting point is 00:55:33 in Spartacus. He has a Roman-looking nose somehow. He needs to get... He needs to be out of fighting because he was not supposed to lose the fight uh he was fighting a guy um fucking mike uh diamond perry i think mike perry is the guy who's like five percent black so he uses the n-word now and uh and really reps it
Starting point is 00:55:59 hard guy rocks yeah perry pardon yes he got smoked he quit he quit in the cage this is bare knuckle yeah he got smoked and and oh and and then on top of that the same night i think connor mcgregor is coaching eddie alvarez and he's just you can hear connor uppercut uppercut and he fucking boom boom double uppercuts and smokes him and eddie points to connor is like yeah man you you're right you're right and it was this awesome moment because he's fighting um mendez right to chad mendez maybe so you've got these three men connor's fought both these guys in the ufc and beaten them in big fights and then and now connor is coaching one of them against the other and
Starting point is 00:56:41 giving this good advice and there it was a cool fucking moment. This is Luke Rockhold getting smoked by, uh, Luke Rockhold could put his chin on top of his head. I did not expect him to lose this. Oh no, he, he hit him so hard. He's flying into the air right now.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Okay. I wouldn't doubt it, but he is taller. I imagine they don't really stand like that, but for sure. He's a bigger man. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Uh, he smoked him. It was a, but he's a bigger man. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Yeah. He smoked him. It was a pretty neat fight. I don't like that. The bloodiness of it bothers me. The cuts. I know MMA has similar stuff, but something about that, knowing that they're getting cut by that wrapped bare knuckle fist,
Starting point is 00:57:21 I don't know. Maybe I'm just... Tears your skin more. They bleed quickly and often they're always bloody i've never seen one of those fights that didn't end with somebody you know maybe a quick knockout but usually if they're changing a little bit of blood in a ufc fight what i don't like watching is like when it's gross like when one guy is bleeding all over another guy i only like that if if you hate that guy though if you hate that guy and he gets cut you're like fuck you fuck you bleed him out bleed
Starting point is 00:57:51 that bitch out let's see if there's any bitch in that blood fucking pussy and then he'll choke the guy and the blood will squirt out faster and you're like yeah i like I like the blood and I see it through a different lens. I like the bravery is what I really like. Sometimes a guy is just bleeding badly, right? Dripping out of his face, pouring out of his face to where it's not always drops, it streams.
Starting point is 00:58:17 And then that blood drips in the other guy's face. And I've seen him do this like, oh, look at this. I have a range weapon and it will just drip blood in another person's eyes and mouth and and they're like doing their best to avoid it it's disgusting i know what you mean about the bravery thing like it is like it's a combat sport i i totally get that but like oh like i see that i get the same feeling of when i see someone with like a big booger in their nose
Starting point is 00:58:45 like because i know exactly what you're talking about i remember this guy got cut on the side of his face and on his lip and when he was over the other guy he was just like just like going like yeah yeah and it's like spit mixed with blood and i'm, this is vile. Okay. I completely agree. It's vile. It's disgusting, but there's no bitch in that guy's blood. That guy, that guy had every opportunity to quit jail. Sonnen has this thing where he complains about the phrase.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Losing is not an option. He's like, losing is always an option. It's the easiest option. It's right there. Anytime you want to lose, anytime you want to quit, just do it. Just take a knee, just get off of your neck. You can get out of this fight anytime you want to. So here's a guy who no one would fault for wanting to leave the fight, but he doesn't want to. He wants to win the fight and he's on top bleeding on his opponent using it as a
Starting point is 00:59:45 weapon anything he can think of he's trying to scrape and scratch and eke out this win and i'm like fuck guy doesn't lack bravery that's why john jones is the greatest mixed martialist mixed martial artist of all time he pokes eyes he crushes skulls, he pounds syringes, and he gets it done. Undefeated, undisputed. Champ champ. Greatest of all time. Double champ. I bet I would, if you could take John Jones back to those gladiatorial arenas of olden times
Starting point is 01:00:16 and explain the fucking rules to those... You would have got fucked up by a lion. You could just see him out there bouncing up and down Doing his stretch And then Oh shit On all fours Like he crawls towards his
Starting point is 01:00:35 The lion would be unimpressed Emperor Octavian That is again 3241 for the lion Again And the lion. Again! And the lion wins again! It's just the fattest lion.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Taylor, I know you have a lot of admiration for lions in the combat arena. Of course. How many humans would it take to beat a lion? There is a number. Armed or unarmed? Completely unarmed. I'll make him buck naked.
Starting point is 01:01:10 But there is some level where 150 humans can beat a lion. It's far less than that. You'd have to weigh it down somehow. But it's so strong. You'd have to get its eye. A lot of people would have to be willing to die.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Oh, yeah. Did Zach say eight? Because I could get on board with that. Okay. That's not bad. All right, so here's my thought process. If you're throwing five big, strong, motivated, physical men, not modern men, but maybe a tougher sort from olden times,
Starting point is 01:01:43 and you're telling them, look, you're going in there with a lion. You can all scatter and run like sheep and he will eat you one at a time. If he doesn't, those guys up there with the bows, they're going to shoot you for cowards and the crowd's going to laugh while you bleed out in the sun. In your family. Or we can all work together. Alright? Joe,
Starting point is 01:02:02 you're the front paw on the left. Mike, you're the front paw on the left mike you're the front paw on the right it's all you care about i don't care if he's eating your face mike you can't let go of that front paw on the right and you all pick a paw and then somebody's got you're like dave you just got to get a hold of that main i don't care what you do with it but you can't let go dave you gotta ride him dave and if you can get your fingers in his eyes, get him in there, Dave. Does somebody have a rock? Oh, thank God you snuck the rock in here. If you can get that rock into his mouth.
Starting point is 01:02:29 I don't care if you lose your hand doing it. Give your hand for our lives. He's just shoving a rock down the thing's throat as hard as he can, losing his arm in the process. If you have men like that, five or six of us can get it done. Six, definitely not. So whatever number you pick subtract one right off the bat why does taylor have a bigger objection to six than five i'm really stuck on
Starting point is 01:02:52 that oh i thought the other one was eight kyle says take five or six and taylor's like definitely not six definitely not five or six uh i would like at least 10 because think about it it's faster it's like it will kill one or two easily because the way like cats aren't they're not they're not hyenas they're not wild dogs the way cats kill prey is they as soon as you are immobilized they bite the back of your neck and kill you it's like they I strongly disagree with that cats are known for playing with their food they toy with their prey they this isn't going to be prey, though. They're going to be... It's going to be more akin to when you see hyenas
Starting point is 01:03:29 and lions facing off, and the lion is outnumbered, and he's not sure of himself. If we all run up to it, hands high, wide, we're shoulder to shoulder, hands up, jumping, hooping, and hollering, he's scared. He is not in aggressive... He's in that sort
Starting point is 01:03:45 of on his back foot like get the fuck away from me who are what is this shit kind of mode he's not in full run at us and start eating one after another he's freaked the fuck out because five grown men hooping and hollering hands above their heads screaming and trying to get him like because when i told mike that shit he took it to heart. Mike heard my pregame speech and he took it to heart. He's up there with that rock. I like Zach's strategy more than the one we've outlined so far. Imagine we have eight guys, right? And the point is to spend the first six hours frightening the cat.
Starting point is 01:04:19 I like it. Booga, booga, booga. Run around the stadium. Whatever it takes. Just like, like make him. Just make him nervous. Make him aggressive. Dude, you're so right. And then you put him in that state for so long.
Starting point is 01:04:30 That's the one thing humans do better than maybe anything but cats. And we're smart enough not to be afraid. When we see it afraid, we'd get hyped up. We'd be like, this is working. Mm-hmm. Think about how like you see on the Discovery Channel that you know on the discovery channel when it's really hot and you see the lion like panting and they're like the lion will rest until the sun no it's the middle of the day on the fucking gladiatorial arena and and and rome it's hot
Starting point is 01:04:55 as shit out there open stadium dumbass and we're eating down and we're out there fucking jogging maybe we can't cut a seven minute mile but those jabronis could okay that's why we hired him if you would have told me two minutes ago that you would swing me on this i would have said you idiot but my god zach that is a good ass idea man like scaring the shit out of it getting its cortisol levels so high it's just so stressed out yeah it's tired and then damn you're right you're playing there for the. The problem though while it is probably the best possible method
Starting point is 01:05:30 what if the crowd starts booing at some point and they don't like it and they just release a couple more lions? How many guys do we need for three increasingly confident lions? Or instead of that, they release like a bear. So now the lion and the bear hate each other more than they care that you're even there.
Starting point is 01:05:54 They can get crazy with it. Some of those shows that you read about that occurred there, where they would flood the arena and have these naval battles, where you would have two ships floating in water in a coliseum side one another and the men on side would battle each other to recreate a naval battle that had happened
Starting point is 01:06:14 the month or the week before because we don't have TV but imagine that, that's so cool it's incredible I'm impressed they can put a basketball court on top of a hockey rink. That's another level. I always forget that
Starting point is 01:06:30 when I'm watching. I'm like, oh, it's just not always cold here. It's often basketball is played. Yeah, you forget. It's wild how modern arenas work. Well, I guess it's time to wrap. I had fun this show. Yeah, me too. I always do. PKS 454.

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