Painkiller Already - PKN 468

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 pkn468 how you boys doing good saw the jake paul fight i know kyle did too because we were in the set we went to the uh patreon hangout the 50 hangout and watched it with fans and uh it wasn't playing i just dropped in because i was pretty sure they'd be streaming it and yeah we watch everything there um every live stream we're watching in there. Fish has usually got it turned on. It went about like I thought. It was what we thought, right? You called it better than me, I think. I'm sorry to cut you off.
Starting point is 00:00:33 I called Jake winning, I think. But I consider Nate to be very dangerous because he and his brother have prided themselves on boxing with real boxers forever. Every time they are susceptible to those leg kicks, it's because they've been training boxing. Boxing is their thing. Most UFC fighters are mixed martial artists. These guys are boxers that are Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belts. And I guess that's mixed martial arts. But I can't stress how much boxing they've
Starting point is 00:01:05 been so proud on. They rattle off their list of training partners. And I don't really know boxing that well, but the way he says the names, it's like, I was supposed to know them. And I'm like, okay, I'm impressed. You got Raul Rodriguez to train with you. I guess. Okay. I get, if that's supposed to impress me, then it did. And then he gets in there with Jake Paul, and I didn't predict it. I could have told you this. I could have told you the other. I also knew that Nick Diaz, he does pitter-patter punches with four-ounce gloves, and those are effective. But you do those same pitter-patter punches with 12 or – they're probably 12-ounce gloves I'm assuming they fought with.
Starting point is 00:01:47 And suddenly they're not effective anymore. 16. 16, right? Surely they're not using 12s. That's crazy, town. Is 16 what an old boxer wears? 16 is what you wear in training. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:00 I'm not sure. Maybe Nate can figure it out for you. What am I saying? Zach. Zach, thank you. I've got Nate Diaz on my mind and I couldn't get anywhere else. Don't be offended. I'm just name-tarded and face-blind and many other social fucking problems. Just I don't remember names or faces. Oh, 10-ounce gloves. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:20 10-ounce gloves. Yeah, yeah. I want to say Conor and Mayweather used eight, but I'm not positive. Yeah, I'm not either. There was a lot of talk over it. 8, 10, 12 is regular boxing. I thought it was a close fight. Everybody's acting like Jake blew him out. It was a real close fight. He won 8 rounds to 2.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Oh, I don't care about rounds. The rounds don't matter. He got the only knockdown. I thought the fight was very close. You got the only knockdown. I thought the fight was very close. The punch counts, I'm sure, were within 10%, 15% of each other. It was a real close fight.
Starting point is 00:02:53 It was clear who won the fight. It was clear who was winning the fight most of the time. But it was interesting that Nate was turning it on late. And I love how shitty the boxing announcers that they found for this thing were. They're just blown away that Nate Diaz has cardio. It's like, really? You didn't watch one fight? You didn't watch one fight?
Starting point is 00:03:13 This is a guy who can just start working and not stop for 25 minutes. He does that every time. That's what he's known for, isn't it? Like his whole MO. Yeah. He has pitter-patter punches, but his engine never quits. This is to say he's endless cardio. And his chin is just incredibly durable. He's been knocked out once in his whole career. I'm almost positive. It was
Starting point is 00:03:31 Josh Thompson. Josh Thompson hit him in the head with a kick and his shin has a permanent dent in it for the rest of his life. His shin is damaged. And that's what it took to Nate to knock out Nate Diaz. If he has another knockout, I don't don't know it yeah i don't know he's ever been knocked out i didn't think he had i i think i'm right he's uh did jake paul get hit very hard at all or like that's what you're saying is that he's just not jake paul's face was red and swollen both of them were nate's more than jake's because he's got all that scar tissue but i we call them pitter patter punches and there were moments when they're clutching and they clench they're doing them little rabid punches. He was hitting with his palm on the back of his shoulder.
Starting point is 00:04:09 I think it was only seven to nine months ago where Nate hit the 170-pound champion of the UFC so hard he was on roller skates. Leon Edwards. Yeah. He had Leon fucking fucking out of it. And here's, here's Nate Diaz. He's such a stupid man.
Starting point is 00:04:30 I can't argue. He cracks that for some reason they got him fight for the 170 pound belt. And he cracks Leon Edwards, the champ. So fucking hard. By the way, a weight class above where he should even be cracks him. And the guy looks retarded for all of five seconds you know what nate does instead of swarming him and being all over him he goes and points and points seven to three i made a mistake um yeah nate has always done that he did
Starting point is 00:05:00 that in the middle of the mcgregor fights He points and taunts. And he's something of a counterpuncher, and they tend to do that. Like, it disguises their inactivity. They mock you and make you come at them instead of just, like, waiting for you to come at them. Because they don't want to initiate the punches. They want to counterpunch. So, I don't know. I thought Nate got pieced up. and he did lose seven rounds to three. I said eight to two.
Starting point is 00:05:29 I was wrong. He lost seven rounds to three. He got knocked down and got a standing eight count. Whereas that didn't happen to Jake Paul. Jake Paul. I think Jake Paul beat the fuck out of him. And I was a little surprised. Jake Paul's cardio was as good as it was.
Starting point is 00:05:42 It seemed like he won the three minute rounds, 10, three minute rounds. And it seemed like Jake Paul won two of those three minutes almost every round and then he kind of survived the last one and start the cycle again I thought his cardio was a lot worse than Nate's I thought he was real gassed by the end um and I bet if we pull up the punch counts he won the last round I mean I'm not counts I agree with 100% Jake won the fight I was just calling out just to say you were like I didn't have cardio
Starting point is 00:06:14 I was countering it with he won the last round I just think he has a lot less cardio than Nate he looked tired to me Nate didn't he also looked bald to me which was funny Nate didn't but that's a whole different story. Needs some finesse ride to go with that tea. Yeah, he needs. Well, it's too late for him.
Starting point is 00:06:30 He's going to go bald unless he he's just going to go bald. He's going to go. Who cares? He's a fighter. That's a great look for fighters. Nothing to grab. He's a celebrity. It's what he is.
Starting point is 00:06:41 I mean, he doesn't he doesn't make his money from he's already, you know, I mean, like he wants to be a pretty man on the Internet. He doesn doesn't he's not like yeah scar me up and make me scary he's a youtube kid no i can't tell you what he's thinking he can be that guy wants to be a professional fighter there's he's already rich and there's an easier path to fame but he's chosen boxing and he's boxing at a level like keep in mind he beat tyron woodley twice anderson silva now he's beaten eight diaz he's training he's a professional fighter and you know he was favored against nate diaz who retired what like six months ago four months ago yeah he's not allowed to do all that stuff that nate is so good at like isn't he good
Starting point is 00:07:23 at like eating and on the ground and l i seem to recall highlights of nate fucking people up with elbows like or knee one of those things so long though like what he choked connor out in my memory of mma this could be a highlight of him fighting in 2014 yeah yeah the thing about it is they'll show you highlights of anybody they're i'm always wary of the highlights when they've still got sponsorships on their shorts The thing about it is they'll show you highlights of anybody. I'm always wary of the highlights when they've still got sponsorships on their shorts, when Condom Depot's on their ass. It's like, dude, who are you beating up? Mark fucking Kroger?
Starting point is 00:07:59 Who's a real deal current professional boxer that Jake Paul has defeated? Zero. Zero. Did he fight Tommy Fury? So he doesn't even think he's a professional boxer. Nate's body looks good there. He's got some abs. He had some definition. That's the best I've seen Nate look.
Starting point is 00:08:11 That's his pose. They look fit. But for like he. He fought a professional boxer last and lost. The son of a super duper famous professional boxer, Tommy Fury. And then. But like. I don't think he wants to be a fighter in the sense that we think of fighters.
Starting point is 00:08:29 He wants to be a celebrity. He's always wanted to be a celebrity. And this is what it seems like. This is the way to crack that. He clearly has a joy for it and a love for it, though. He's doing it every day. It's all he does is box. But he's calling out people very meticulously.
Starting point is 00:08:43 That's obvious. Like, hey, tyron woodley come on at me hey nate diaz hey professional wrestler come at me chuck liddell what you got yeah but then also you'll see like professional boxers be like like tyson like call me in the ring jake and i'll fuck your ass up and it's like yeah yeah he knows that like that's why he's not fighting you i don't i actually don't have a good vibe for what Tyson has to offer. I see Tyson on a heavy bag, and he looks like he did when he was 20. But then I saw Tyson against Roy Jones Jr., I think,
Starting point is 00:09:14 and he didn't look like he did when he was 20. So Mike Tyson, how old is he? 57, 58? Probably. Man gets discounts at IHOP. That's all I'm saying. Nick starches him. I'm saying. Take starches. I was saying Tyson Fury.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Oh, I misunderstood. The crow guy would win. Oh, the six foot seven and a half inch monster. I picked him because he's the only boxer I know other than Floyd Mayweather, who I think is retired. And so I was just saying, Jake Paul knows he wants to be a celebrity more than a boxer. He's not going to put himself in a shitty situation he's the only guy i know all right well then tyson fury on his knees no words you picked a really tough customer yeah you know it's interesting like jake's real talented that that and and the the industry's real really talented
Starting point is 00:10:01 and good at their job that they can still market and sell boxing at all. Woody and I didn't pay because we knew fucking better. It was exactly the kind of fight that we thought it was going to be. It wasn't as boring I think as I would have predicted if I had to guess. It was like, I don't know, on the excitement and fun to watch scale, it was like a
Starting point is 00:10:19 solid six, I guess. It's interesting to see two big celebrities basically doing something they normally wouldn't do. The freak fight aspect of it covers up for the boringness of boxing. And the announcers might as well not be there. I'd rather have music in the background. And I don't know. I just, I hate boxing.
Starting point is 00:10:36 I don't understand why people like it. I thought the people that I watched with, the Patreons and you, did a better job of calling out interesting action than the announcers did. You know, sometimes boxing happens quick and sometimes the guy gets clipped. I'm like, was that a hit?
Starting point is 00:10:49 Did he roll with it or did he connect? Or, you know, I don't know. So I agree that the commentators didn't help me very much. That, that wasn't very good. I'm,
Starting point is 00:10:59 I give them a lot of respect for being professional fighters. And Kyle said it well, a couple of months ago that like boxing is boring but celebrity boxing can be interesting and so long as they keep to like what makes fighting interesting then i'm all for it i i've been maintaining for ages that like fucking two fat 13 year olds on a middle school playground is an interesting fight to me show me please hold the camera steady i'm here for it the idea that people need to be world class to have an interesting fight dude is the internet not blowing up right now it's some white guys fighting black guys on
Starting point is 00:11:36 a dock in montgomery alabama like you guys saw that i trust me yeah look at that on the show mason there's no fighting talent at all in that whole thing, but I'm riveted. I want to see it. That lady could operate that folding chair. I'm telling you. Was that a lady holding the chair? No.
Starting point is 00:11:52 It was a man. But it was a big man. He was swinging the chair. I didn't watch the whole thing. I had a little race riot down in Alabama the other day over boat parking. But yeah, I don't care about the the boxing it just seems so dumb to me it's it's like these gladiators who are supposed to be in the ring fighting for real have found some way to make 10 times as much money by going and just i mean i'll take that beating that was nothing
Starting point is 00:12:20 right like like they're saying that nate diaz made 10 to 20 million dollars so i've heard stuff i've heard that nate diaz made more money that night than he made in his ufc career yeah but it's all lies i don't know what to believe it could be true they broke down that he got half of everything he got half of the pay-per-view buys that the bars do and normally that's a separate thing because they're kind of like they're yeah we're in we're gonna buy the uf we'll buy ufc 299 ufc 300 301 like like money's in the bank kind of thing gave him half of that and half of the tickets it was everything he got half of according to that article but i'm totally guessing here i imagine half his expenses right like that they had to pay for the arena. They had to pay
Starting point is 00:13:06 for security. They had to pay for Jake Paul's tank that he rolled in on. He showed up on a tank. That don't cost anything. Okay, but there are still expenses. You can't just give away half your revenue. Otherwise, the other guy might even lose money. I think they made tens of millions
Starting point is 00:13:22 of dollars, though. Things like the tank is like $10,000 or $20,000. They're like a bunch of $10,000 things they did. I don't know what it costs to get an arena, to insure, to be licensed and bonded and all that. But that's already done, right? That already happened. There's probably investors and people for that. I'd be surprised if Jake Paul puts everything on his back and runs the show like a Floyd Mayweather,
Starting point is 00:13:42 where he owns and runs everything. I haven't heard that. Oh, so... Pay-per-view 50-50. Zach wrote, Jake Paul got $2 million and Diaz got half a million and they split the pay-per-view 50-50.
Starting point is 00:13:54 So maybe that's what Kyle's saying. The pay-per-view profits were split evenly. Yeah. Which... Higher amount total, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. But again, they lie. So they're going to tell you that they each made $150 million.
Starting point is 00:14:09 That's what they always say, but it won't be true. Yeah. There's tens of the report. Um, I don't think they've said, but, um,
Starting point is 00:14:18 I mean, I don't know. I don't know how much money is in that. I'm often surprised. They're each making 5 million for that night. And I would take that fight for $5 million. 100%. $1 million.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Kick my ass. I'm not saying I'd do well. I'm saying I'd take the fight. I leap at him and tap. Can you do that in boxing? You can tap on the mat before he gets there. You can tap on the mat before he gets there. You can verbally tap.
Starting point is 00:14:49 That might be your fastest option. No, the coach can throw the towel over your head. Why don't you have to move? It seems like they should start the, you know what? I withdraw consent. I withdraw consent. Right. Then I'm being interviewed on MSNBC
Starting point is 00:15:06 and they're like how did you feel and I'm like frankly violated and then I'm goosing them for more money consent can be withdrawn at any time not just in sex but in billion dollar boxing deals that you signed legally
Starting point is 00:15:24 that seems like the profit move, right? Like withdraw consent mid stroke and then claim rape. Yeah. Damn. That's I mean, of course, you're speaking brain business wise. I don't know. Speaking of sports, did you guys see this just happened today? So like barstool sports like dave portner he sold
Starting point is 00:15:47 dave portnoy he sold that company like a few years ago to one of the largest gambling companies in america called pen gaming i guess and basically it was for like sell sold it for half a billion to then use barstool as a mechanism to promote all of Penn's gambling in all the different states since Barstool had a lot of reach and over the past year like I I'll keep like tabs on Dave Portner a little bit because I think he's a funny guy uh occasionally and he hasn't been as much since he sold out and that always does happen right and over the past year like a couple things in the Barstool world I saw like some fat idiot who's hilarious uh got fired for accidentally rapping the n-word in a rap song in a way that was like not at all offensive he didn't say like he's a goober seems like a well-hearted guy he said the lyrics yeah he said the lyrics
Starting point is 00:16:36 himself okay himself like and he like any old dave fortnight would have been like yeah it's a joke like oh you sang the lyrics? Oh my God, how hateful. But Penn Gaming fired him because they're like, we don't want to associate with this guy. And that happened just a few months ago. And a couple other firings, things have taken place. And Dave Portnoy just like two hours ago went on Twitter and is like,
Starting point is 00:16:57 in one of the best, he's almost Trump in like how he talks about his own business moves. You can tell he's influenced by him a little bit there where he's like, I just got my own company back for $0. I own 100% of it. I haven't owned 100% of it in 12 years since our first merger. I sold it for half a bill, got it for $0 back, just for a few non-competes here or there. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:17:20 Content's back on the table, baby. All this stupid nonsense has been going on. We're going to be funny again. And so who knows if he still has it or what he'll facilitate. He's always been more of like a building people around him guy. Although he is funny as fuck. There's a value in that too. There is. There is a lot of value.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And so I don't follow Barstool that closely, but I'm interested to see what happens with it. To see if they do better at what they were originally going to do before they became a pure gambling promotion company, which was attempt to compete with ESPN in a real way. And then it became like, oh, all we do is promote gambling. And that didn't really become a competition anymore.
Starting point is 00:17:58 So I thought that was interesting to sell your company for half a billion dollars and get it back for nothing. I like that. Yes. I wonder how true all that is. Yeah, exactly. I'm sorry to cut you off but like hey they gave me my company back for nothing and it's like really like why why would they give you anything of value for zero dollars it looks like for non-competes and other non-monetary covenants if he ever sells it in the future he owes again but in this video he says he won't ever sell again but he could just not do anything like it seems cheaper to okay yeah just
Starting point is 00:18:32 do whatever you want like that when you're that level of wealth like it would be more fun to like be slightly less of a billionaire and control the whole operation of your show then be a bigger billionaire and be like asking permission from a board. You know what I mean? Like that would kind of stay. It sounds like that's what he's done. Like he's worked himself some sort of deal where he gets his cake and eats it too.
Starting point is 00:18:53 And then, you know, I want a different flavor today sort of thing. I want more money sent to the same chitlets offices so that Biz and Wit do more content. I like Dave Portnoy. Honestly, I don't give a shit about his politics or how he feels about woke culture i like them goddamn pizza reviews i like watching that man eat the pizza tell me if it's good or not i buy pizzas i use the app when i if i'm somewhere and
Starting point is 00:19:16 it's like hey you want pizza tonight yeah what do you want well let me order i get on the dave portnoy app the one bite app i'm looking around anywhere around that's got that's rated, got good ratings, or I'll jump on YouTube and look for his former reviews. They're delicious places, especially if we're not in Atlanta. If I'm if I'm in Tennessee visiting or something like I'm going to find Dave Portnoy's favorite pizza place here. And I like his I like his I like when he tore that woman apart on the street. I like have you seen the one where the guy with no arms comes by?
Starting point is 00:19:46 That's funny. Someone found that guy in the news because he stabbed a woman. Yeah, with his foot. He's running around with his feet. He's got like a... Sounds like he ran with scissors. He did. He ran with scissors he's looking hurt when you do that when you tear scissors in half and it's like
Starting point is 00:20:11 kind of the one blade he had like three toes curled in like a raptor around that and so he was running one foot flat the other one like a raptor at this woman and he's pretty spry because he's homeless he's got experience he's got calluses on his feet. This is not his first tussle with a raptor claw.
Starting point is 00:20:28 For five million, I'll face him and his scissor foot in the ring. He'll tag you. You're going to get tagged by his fucking scissor. I think I can take him. We have to say this. He gave away the right to 50% of the
Starting point is 00:20:43 proceeds to Penn. While he may own 100 of the company he only owns half the revenue so i'm not saying it's a bad deal or anything but it's not the deal of the century where you sell it for half a billion basically he works for penn now but what he no it seems like he's controlling the operations but they get half the revenue and he already sold it once right but if you give someone else half your revenue you work for them yeah well it would depend on how he structures the company right like you give the government how you do work for the government damn it yeah yeah i mean if you're giving someone your money you're working for it depends on if he has to go side. If he has to go from January 1st to the end of June before the money becomes his,
Starting point is 00:21:29 I know it's not exactly like that, then he spends half his year working for somewhere else, somebody else. Couldn't you flip it and say that they have to wait until half the year to get to the thing? He's still working half the year for somebody else. Are they working half? Now, are they taking turns, though? Does he spend half the year working somebody else are they working on which half now are they taking turns though does he spend half the year working for them and then they spend half the year working really could we do like uh like a child support thing where i think that the i don't think that pen
Starting point is 00:21:58 has any oversight whatsoever on his content and what he's allowed to say and do. And that was the biggest thing, I think, that he got out of it. When you work creatives, that's a big deal. Yeah. I'm not saying it's a bad deal, only that I was blown away. He got half a billion and then they just gave it back to him? Like, take this Albatross? Well, like four years later, too. And so I'm sure that they
Starting point is 00:22:26 had a pretty good partnership where they made a bunch of gambling money i've never gambled on sport but it seems to be getting huge i don't now i'm a little confused i read it more carefully penn gets half the gross proceeds in any subsequent sale so that's enough of a sale yeah that's what i thought it was or other monetization event which leaves me very confused it sounds like i don't know what a monetization event is i have no idea what that means is that just i don't know i don't know but so maybe it is a better deal than i thought in any case he's got it and hopefully the content gets good yeah like that's that's good when you see someone who kind of gets their baby back and now
Starting point is 00:23:05 can make it more what they want it to be because i've had a boring topic i wanted to discuss with you for weeks now boring your air conditioner is not keeping up with your with the heat is your attic properly insulated young man do you have a pull-down attic without the fucking tent on top of it? I don't know. But I do know that ever since it went down from the 112 degrees at midnight fiasco from like a week and a half ago, that was awful. It's fine now. It's like 80-something degrees out today. It's all good. And so unless it gets to be a bitch outside, like 105 plus, it's pretty okay. But no, I don don't want to slide by
Starting point is 00:23:47 do i need a tent yeah what do i yeah yeah if you have a a pull down thing then um above that it's it's incredibly poorly insulated so you need to put this thing on you can get a couple styles one is like a little prop up tent that just kind of uses gravity to sit around the whole ladder door mechanism, that trap door. Or you can have one installed more permanently that you like zip in place. So the attics that we've had professionally insulated have those. And the ones that some jackass homeowner did have the kind you buy at Home Depot. All right, I'll do that. I'll be a jackass to start and see if I can tell any difference.
Starting point is 00:24:24 So does it stop heat rises, obviously? Is it keeping heat? What does it do? It's keeping air flow? But yeah, I'm telling you a tremendous amount of heat
Starting point is 00:24:39 enters your house through that pull-down ladder thing. Maybe radiating? Like if you were to touch the the part that you pull down it's hot comes in the creek maybe there's a suction type thing happening from the attic into the house but the hvac you know pumping around i'm not sure but i guess it made a tremendous difference in my house and it's a real like it's 50 bucks for the little tent and it is like 90 seconds to install it you could probably get one on amazon mine was from home depot and i've never i didn't even know that existed i didn't
Starting point is 00:25:12 know i've always had addicts i'll touch it after this i'll i'll look into this i might get one because i see if there's any warmth coming from that spot yeah i went up there the other day it's they sprayed the shit out of this house there's's so much insulation up there. It's great. Is it loose insulation or expanding foam? It's loose. It's like that floof that just covers everything. They're not called studs
Starting point is 00:25:35 in the ceiling. Are they called joists? I think the joists are like the big boys. I think they're called... Anyway, the boards that run... Not that either. The boards that are in your ceiling that you'd big boys. I think they're called... Anyway, the boards that run... Not that either. The boards that are in your ceiling that you'd shoot something. I was looking for those, but it's a
Starting point is 00:25:49 fucking sea of stuff. Rafters? Not rafters either. It doesn't matter. I can't... And rafters might apply to it. It's not the word I'm looking for. But I went up there... You're sure it's not boards? Well, they are made of wood. Anyway, you were what? I think I missed the core wood anyway you were what i i i was out there looking for the uh the boards that run along trying to find them because i was gonna hang my sex swing and i don't want to drill a bunch of holes yeah yeah um i didn't want to drill a bunch of holes because i got fucking wild hanging the tv this
Starting point is 00:26:22 time and drilled like 16 holes or something again um well i'm it's the one i told you about okay they're all hung now but uh i what i really need is a good stud finder i which i which i bought the other day but um anyway real insulated i've heard your phone can do that i i there was a reddit thread called like name a thing your phone can do that you didn't know. And apparently there's some sort of like magnetic sensor that helps it find studs in the wall. This is true. I didn't doubt it. I saw when I was buying one of them cheap.
Starting point is 00:27:01 When I was finding stud finders there or I was. Um, there was one that worked with your phone. So you had a visualization that it would put on your phone and you could be like, like doing this number, like looking at the phone while wiggling it. But I ended up getting a magnetic one. That's not electronic at all. Um,
Starting point is 00:27:16 I saw some, Hmm. Electrician or carpenter on Reddit was just like, it's all magnetic. Now get away from that digital crap. No more batteries for me. And then apparently it's a magnetic now get away from that digital crap no more batteries for me and then apparently it's a really powerful magnet that finds the uh you know the seam there where all the screws are shot in the drywall hmm so i don't know i'm gonna try it out later
Starting point is 00:27:36 but yeah i never did find the uh the boards i bought a good stud finder right because the cheapest ones have a dot and when you get over the thing it the dot illuminates and it maybe buzzes the slightly better ones have an lcd screen that's like the dots right over there and you get like one arrow two arrows three arrows and then like there's greater thans and less thans on both sides telling you centered and even with that better stud finder i can miss a stud sometimes so maybe kyle's got the answer my electronic one gave me false readings it's like yeah it's right exactly here and i drill there and then i drill to the left of that and to the right of that and i keep going left right left right left right until i've covered an area that's as wide as
Starting point is 00:28:21 the area that is between studs now and And it's like, you are exactly wrong. You found the cleanest space in the wall. It's what you did. This is very frustrating. You hit the invert switch. I have gymnastic rings in my gym and I did the same thing. I found, in quotes, the
Starting point is 00:28:40 stud and then there's a whole like a six inch strip of like test holes before I found a sturdy stud. And there's a whole like a six inch strip of of like test holes before i found a sturdy stud and it's a gymnastic swing you can't use drywall like you gotta get it right yeah but it's hidden under the mounting bar so it won't be a problem till i take it this was like the one bit of home work i've ever had be like seamless was i went and bought the shittiest stud finder that just showed like a red dot when i like bought my house and i was like hanging up like that big clock over there and like other stuff on the wall that like some of which needs to like be you know in a
Starting point is 00:29:15 in a stud just to be clay to be safe like that giant clock and i just like went and would kind of guesstimate because i'd look like all, there seems to be about four inches here of red dot. Let's go kind of to the middle of the four inch area. Oh, that's kind of close. And it was like I felt like a like a craftsman. Like I was like, wow. And when I when I struck the nail with the hammer and it went into a stud, I'm like, that's right. I am the stud finder. And it went into a stud. I'm like, that's right. I am
Starting point is 00:29:46 the stud finder. I didn't miss any. I don't think I've ever gotten more confidence from a home project. Yeah, the grinder. Get it? A couple layers. Yeah, that was good. Everything else, though, takes a YouTube
Starting point is 00:30:02 trip, but that, stud finders. That one thing. The two things I hugged. Last time I hugged that swing, I went up in the attic and I found the joist or whatever and just put a hole right next to it all the way through, like a tiny hole, and now I've found it. It's like, oh yeah, it's to the left of the hole.
Starting point is 00:30:24 And you can't fuck this up now, because you don't want to mess up the goddamn ceiling because i don't want to patch a ceiling it's a lot harder than patching drywall and you want to make sure you hit a fucking stud because yeah somebody could die wait how many people hang from a sex swing one or two i've never used a sex swing just one is it always the girl yeah well okay sometimes you just go in there to swing around right it's always the receiver though in this it's good for my back you know i like to dangle in there sometimes not at all you ever go in there and like pump try and see if you can touch the ceiling um i've got i'm thinking about getting the one i've got right now has one point and then it comes down and has this uh this sort of triangle thing so
Starting point is 00:31:12 you've connected at the top and then it spreads out the to two points at the bottom you know that you can dangle from like a hammock a lot like a hammock what's the weight limit on this thing like 500 pounds they don't fuck around even that one years ago we both get in there you know what you did but it's uh i'm gonna i'm gonna get the one that has four uh posts so you've got like four connectors so there's no like because when you've got two it's it's there's this yeah that's where everything's trying to slide down into a v and it's trying to be real uncomfortable and i don't know i feel like if you've got anything but a tiny little lady up there like her hips are too narrow are too wide it starts like pulling in anyway i'm gonna get
Starting point is 00:32:00 this big fucking four chains coming down from the ceiling thing to one central point. Chains. It's going to be like Hellraiser. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. And it's going to it's basically going to be I was going to do leather like a leather swing, but I found these boards you can get. So it's actually just a bed, almost a very thin bed, more of a little mattress topper on it or something.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Yeah. Well, not a mattress topper, more of a foam cushion, you know, covered in leather, you know, and that thing connects to the four chains, and it's sort of just floating there. You're opting for leather. You're not going to go cloth on your sex swing?
Starting point is 00:32:37 I went with cloth last time, and I'm going to tell you, it was a mistake. That's why you didn't go fur. It would just go further in the wrong direction. We're going latex or leather this time i thought you want the most absorbent material possible for your sex swing but i was wrong you know i was wrong so you're getting leather easier for cleaning how much are these sex swings sending you back how much is a four chain bad boy ultra stable what are you looking at here uh like three or five hundred dollars something like that i think that's not much if you get one that's made of real leather um and that some craftsmen
Starting point is 00:33:10 like made by hand but i think there's like three three hundred dollar options and then if you want just a sex swing sex swing that you just one connection those are like 100 maybe 75 one of my takeaways from this is that the sex wing appears to be a winning idea. Like Kyle invested in one, said, I like this, but I want deluxe. Right. He didn't say this is a concept not worth pursuing. He said this is a concept worth investing in. Improving. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:36 No, I like the sex swing. I'm not using it, though. So there's just four visible things in my bedroom that everyone can see. All right. There's a couple of ways to do that so the the reddit way the internet way to hide your sex swing hookup is to use a false smoke detector but then it's like how afraid of fire is this guy he's got four smoke detectors in his bedroom that's that causes so many more questions than like four j hooks or whatever but i figured that out that's a radon detector
Starting point is 00:34:05 that's carbon monoxide carbon dioxide and this one's just that's just for rapists you know this whole time yes yeah that's not the batteries if you just left the swing in place stuck a potted plant in the seat area of it, then you could just convince someone you're really into succulents. No, and I got a big pot of plant in the middle. Yeah, you do.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Not even near the wall. Like an idiot. Drifting side to side. I think I wouldn't, I think I wouldn't really care. I would, I, I,
Starting point is 00:34:42 cause I think it's just going to be four silver, uh, like I hope type things up there. It depends how you mount, because actually, no, I've got this new mount, so it's going to be a silver thing up there. I wouldn't care, frankly. Who's going to come over and be
Starting point is 00:34:56 like, oh, is that for a sex swing? It's like, yeah, bitch, help me set it up. Yeah, take your pants off. I actually kill people. No, that's to exsanguinate you after I'm done with your body. Wait, what's that word? Is that what they did in Breaking Bad? Actually, wait, let them guess.
Starting point is 00:35:16 I'm going to guess it's when they put the dude in the bathtub in Breaking Bad, but they didn't realize that the bathtub would not hold up to the corrosive lie or whatever to turn the person into pudding strike try again all right is that when they cut arms and legs off stay right try again fuck extenuate oh oh oh is that just like a bondage
Starting point is 00:35:36 term or maybe she's held in place I'll give that all one all right a ball I'm still I get out of this game closer removal I'm a bully of a pitcher i'm i'm a terrible umpire what is this word it means to remove the blood from someone like that suck the blood out yeah exsanguination like a vampire would do to you
Starting point is 00:36:01 gonna gonna drip them dry yep which would be a very gross thing to do in your bedroom. If I'm exsanguinating someone, I am doing it either outside or in my basement near that drain. I do shower. Big mistake. All that evidence down that drain? You're never getting that out. I'm never getting it out?
Starting point is 00:36:25 They're going to go down there with a snake and they're going to pull up some of her fucking bloody hair. You don't even know my serial killer mastermind plan. Everyone goes, oh, what do you do? Well, you take him down your basement. You kill him. Well, you kill him way before that, obviously. You dispose of everything down there.
Starting point is 00:36:41 You call it a slurry. You dump that either in the woods or down the drain. It doesn't matter. It's going to get mixed up. How do we go from killing to having a slurry of people? You're going to use acid at first. I can actually help you with this. Every local
Starting point is 00:36:58 fish store in St. Louis is going to sell you bacteria designed to break down organics. Put that shit down your drain, it uh 12 days and it'll be properly cycled boom now i've got an even better idea than the one i was making up on the spot but i was thinking they always say the bones would be hard to get rid of like but can't you just like crush them all up and then be like, I owned a Great Dane. Make a diamond out of my Great Dane bones.
Starting point is 00:37:28 And then they'll make one for you. Everybody makes it like it's so crazy hard to get rid of a body. Alright, so let's say we've got our body here we need to get rid of. No, it wouldn't because we'd go in the backyard and we'd burn it. Why don't you just go in the backyard and burn it? It's so hard to burn a body, dude. No, it wouldn't because we'd go in the backyard and we'd burn it. Why don't you just go in the backyard and burn it? It's so hard to burn a body, dude. No, it's not. We'll get a burn barrel. We'll put them in there and it'll be
Starting point is 00:37:52 burning. It'll turn them into fucking ashes. They'll be teeth and little bone chunks. I'm going to smash those with a hammer. I'm going to take a large metal barrel. I'm going to bring someone just that way. I'm going to create a whole I'm going gonna create a furnace out of a metal barrel like you would forge steel with where i inject air in the bottom and make it
Starting point is 00:38:10 really hot i know it's hard how are you all up it's way remember that tv show was it how to make a murderer it was hugely popular for a little while do you guys remember this yeah i remember that and there was a guy who was like semi-retarded it would seem, who murdered someone in that way. No offense Kyle. And disposed of the body and when the police came they were little like just chips of bone that he hadn't fully eradicated. At first I thought I was supposed to be offended because
Starting point is 00:38:35 I'm retarded. I was like, but wait. No, that wasn't. It was like, this is how a retard other retards commit crimes. It's like, there's no way. The reason there wasn't much left in there is because he was throwing it around that junkyard This is how a retard commits crime. Don't be offended. There's no way. The reason there wasn't much left in there is because he was throwing it around that junkyard or whatever. If you want to cremate a body
Starting point is 00:38:52 to the point that it's actually bones and teeth, it takes hours and hours and hours in a real deal crematorium. A bucket in your backyard isn't half as hot as a crematorium. At the crematorium, there's bones and teeth. You're calling as a crematorium and the crematorium there's like you're on the crematorium because they make on tv they make it seem like it would go quickly
Starting point is 00:39:10 fucking it's longer it's way longer than you think yeah no it's ours yeah you can't just we're incredibly wet we're bags of like moisture that's what gets here on a related note there's so many so many movies where they burn the body to like get rid of it this is like it's going to turn into a zombie afterwards or they do it in game of thrones they put people on pyres quite a bit and they act like it's just a minor like taylor you know what before breakfast can you quick whip up a pyre and dispose of these bodies i'm like like, what? That is a 10-day task to build a bonfire and collect that much little wood. Maybe 10's a stretch.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Afterwards, you didn't have a charred body because it's a bunch of water. It doesn't go away that easily. Disagree. No, there's going to be nothing left. Zach, how long does a crematorium take to burn a body? All right, look. That's why they do crematoriums in
Starting point is 00:40:05 like a super like hot thing instead of just throwing them in a bucket i know because they do it for a living we're doing it once though in our backyard we're hopefully not not if we're good there will be trucks lined up i get into my hobbies more than you're making it sound like the reason we use a crematorium is because we need the power of that machine because nothing else can burn a human body, even though animals, we don't have a pile of bone problem in the world for some reason. So cremation takes one to three hours. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:37 So probably we'll burn them right up. So a couple hours for a grown up to get all burned up. And then you got the bones and the teeth. And there's no way that in your serial killer adventures, you're going to break into a crematorium to get it done real quick. you got the bones and the teeth and there's no way that in your serial killer adventures you're gonna like break into a crematorium to get it done real quick no i'm gonna do in the backyard in a barrel that's gonna take a lot okay how rural are you i guess i'm thinking are you gonna do the thing where you put a leaf blower into the barrel and really make it hot you can do this burn a body in a bucket in your backyard in the suburb
Starting point is 00:41:02 i am can you wait until after the show this week to try this so we can get one last one? Let me explain. My neighbor to the left making fucking Brazilian barbecue yesterday. Smoke fucking everywhere. The one to the right, he's a pit master. A black fellow. He's got one of those that you tow behind a truck. Smoke every fucking
Starting point is 00:41:19 where. All the other neighbors mysteriously missing. You're telling me i can't sleep squeeze they cook the worst smelling barbecue i've ever smelled it would smell good you'd be like hey you making hair you making hair and and and burnt oh the hair's gonna be gone in a poof they're not gonna smell the hair look i'm telling you what you take your barrel first of all maybe we cut you in some pieces like like large pieces, like legs and arms off, head too. And now we throw your torso
Starting point is 00:41:48 in there. And what I do, I've got the barrel. I'm injecting air in the bottom. Because I like him marbled. Sure. He will be very marbled. The more fat, the better he'll burn. The more fat, the better he'll burn. If you say so, the better he'll taste. Do you remember, I'm sure you guys
Starting point is 00:42:04 know about spontaneous human combustion, something that we all heard about when we were kids. Yes, like a little kid rumor. No one talks about it anymore. Hold your farts in, and you'll explode. So what happens with spontaneous human combustion is you end up, people show up to a home where there's very little burn damage except for a human who has burned to almost nothing on the floor.
Starting point is 00:42:25 And this has happened many times. What happens is the person has a heart attack and dies. Are they holding a cigarette or some other ignition source? And if they are fat enough, and I don't mean like obese, scary. I mean, if the fire gets around their belly fat, it will melt it and it'll start dripping slowly and create its own self-sustaining fuel source. And the body will slow burn. It won't like turn into a big pyre that, or a big flame that, that makes the whole room go up. It'll slowly smolder there as the fat drips and fuels the fire and it'll burn down to almost like a plastic fire. That happened a lot. And that probably a long,
Starting point is 00:43:07 I don't know how long that takes because it was a, people believed it was spontaneous human combustion forever. Yeah. You know, they thought that people were just going up like a, like a match in their living room. Cause they'd show up Dave's a cinder. The room is still here.
Starting point is 00:43:22 What happened? He's just, that's what happens. Damn, we should have asked to see him in the last four weeks. What I'm getting at is that people want to burn. We want it. We want it. If I get you in that barrel, I got the air coming in the bottom, getting super hot.
Starting point is 00:43:36 And don't imagine you're just sitting on the bottom of a barrel. There's a fuel source. And then I've drilled holes in the side. And I've put pipes through the whole barrel in one side, out the other, and I've made a grate, a grate like this that you're sitting on top of. Whoa, slow down. A grate like what?
Starting point is 00:43:52 Fuck you. I'm going to burn you for real now. I'm just fighting with a grate. Yes, yes, it's okay. I explained 9-11 last week. Those who aren't aware, 9-11 was an event in 2001 What a great. Yes. Yes. It's okay. I explained nine 11 last week. 2001. You know what? That was actually my subtle way of reminding everyone that Saudi
Starting point is 00:44:14 Arabians did it because everyone acts like it's Iraq or Afghanistan that did it. That was actually what I was getting at when I was like, Saudi Arabians took over these planes, but everyone just focused on planes. Allow people to fly in the sky. Planes originally invented in the early 20th century to allow for air travel.
Starting point is 00:44:32 The Wright Brothers, a place called Kitty Hall. Is that what it was? North Carolina proud by visiting us with their smarts. That's all I remember about your guys' license plates. You're big on that. They showed us your beach to learn how to fly, and you guys were like, yep, get the license plates you're big on that they showed me your beach to learn how to fly and you guys were like yep get the license plates rolling throw up a monument right there that'll look good
Starting point is 00:44:51 if people don't know the Wright brothers were from Ohio and they came here because we had uh windy beaches with I think a decline and there was just a really nice, soft place to practice flying. Most of the state slogans are bad, except for... I think it's Vermont that's like... Yeah, that's a good one. That's a very Hollywood-ish,
Starting point is 00:45:18 very dramatic. The peach? We love peaches. Wait. Georgia on my mind. The quote from the Ray Charles song. Damn, that's the worst one I've ever heard. Wow. That's so much worse than show me state or first in flight. I think it's Georgia on my mind.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Pretty sure it is. Georgia on my mind. It seems like they stopped in the middle. It should be a whole song. Oh, liberty and prosperity. That's New Jersey. Oh, you New Jersey self-identifier. You still don't adopt the North Carolinian.
Starting point is 00:45:51 North Carolina is so much a cooler state than New Jersey. First in flight is a way better motto for you, though. It's soul and valor, so I kind of dig it. Let's see all the state. You've got anchor babies in North Carolina. You can claim it. I do, yeah. All right, guys, we got 14 minutes. let's see all the you've got anchor babies in north carolina you can claim i do yeah all right guys we got 14 minutes let's rank the state
Starting point is 00:46:09 what's uh i'm actually kind of down let's see if we can find the girls all right i didn't tell i i'm missing next week it just as a reminder i know i told you guys already me and a buddy are leaving on Saturday to Colorado, and we're taking dirt bikes to ride up and down the Rocky Mountains. There's these mountain passes, and he wants to ride all the ones he thought were too hard to do on bigger bikes. So I guess whatever Colorado's hardest mountain passes are, we're going to do that.
Starting point is 00:46:40 I would imagine pretty hard because it's Colorado. They've got real deal mountains out there. I'll let you know. Yeah, you could go uphill for like because it's Colorado. They've got real deal mountains out there. I'll let you know. Yeah. You could go uphill for like an hour in Colorado. Around here, a hill climb, you can see the top. It's right there. Just get a little speed before you hit it.
Starting point is 00:46:55 When you go skiing, when I went to Aspen many years ago, it was just like the last hour and 10 minutes was just uphill like you're just driving up a mountain for like an hour like gaining elevation like watching the chip bags get more crumpled like very or the water's like crumpled less crumpled right no going down they expand because there's less pressure pushing in on the bag, right? Uh-huh. No. I know that when I brought the bag of Lays back from Colorado to St. Louis, it was a regular bag, and it became a very almost poofed, almost exploded bag.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Yeah, so it depends on the... It's about the pressure outside, whether it's greater or less than the pressure inside. So that bag was charged at sea level, let's say, and then you go up to 5,000 feet. The air around you is a lot thinner than the air on the inside wants to get out and equalize that pressure disparity. So it's poofing the bag up if you were to take that bag down to you know the opposite a more dense atmosphere the bag would start shrinking down right that's what i thought if i took let's make it extreme if i took a potato chip bag and put it underwater it would get smushed right eventually so if i'd bring it
Starting point is 00:48:19 to the top of a mountain it would expand i think I just know when I was in that plane that time, all the chips were ready to pop. And then when we landed, they went back to normal. That's the opposite of what I... No, that's what I said. Yeah, yeah. Why would it start out a normal chip bag in Colorado and then be popped and viewed in St. Louis? Was it...
Starting point is 00:48:40 Where would it have had to have been packaged? Because that's what happened and i understand what you mean about the differential pressure yeah was it you're telling me you bought a bag of chips in colorado when you got home to missouri they were like expanding expanded fat sounds to me like you've got some fermentation happening in that bag we get right to the bottom of it detective kyle that sounds to me like the the dill pickle lays fermentation process had already been done were those ketchup lays because they were known for this no around 2017 was it i would not have a ketchup lay ever that's that's um really i mean
Starting point is 00:49:21 i don't like anything but i didn't want it no i. It's a chip, but like I don't think I'd like it. I don't say no to chips. I do my best to now, but Taylor's a free use belly for potato chips. It is. I'm trying to shut that down, but it is mostly a free use belly for salty snacks. And if I like salted meats, I'm so glad I've kind of gotten off that. salty snacks and if i like salted meats i'm so glad i've kind of gotten off that like i haven't i haven't dipped into that honey pot for many months now and i think i'm gonna do my best to avoid it because you could salt your own meats don't you put that evil on me like don't you you know you just need a little salting shed out back and you could have so many roasts and hams back there.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Dry aged beef, all sorts of things. That's not you can't do. I don't think you dry aged beef in a shed, but you could definitely salt a ham out there. Yeah, you can. You can do whatever you want in your salt shed. Right. No one disposes of the bodies. The problem is they're remarkably well preserved.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Yeah. I'm going to crisp them up with salt. That's where he disposes of the bodies. The problem is they're remarkably well-preserved. It was a terrible idea. I'm going to crisp them up with salt. Oh, and as far as actually getting rid of a body, just throw it in the trash bags, right? And let the garbage man take it. They're not checking that shit. They have to be checking that at some point.
Starting point is 00:50:39 They're not checking it. They're not checking it. There's no fucking way there. Hopefully they're all mixed up by the time they check it. Here's the thing that makes me worry about kyle's plan one time i tried to throw away a sink when we bought this house it was like it was like a bathroom sink like a smaller one left behind some closet and uh i was like all right i'll just throw the sink in the trash can well sure enough they didn't take the trash can and they called me and say you can't put that in your trash can to be thrown away and i'm like you opened it i didn't think you gave a fuck about what was in there yeah i'll test it away a lot of car batteries i didn't know how many rules there
Starting point is 00:51:16 were i i used to throw away rocks softball sized rocks because they were in my yard and they interfered with mowing the The internet tore me apart. Like throwing away a rock a little bigger than your fist is like the most ridiculous thing anyone's ever done. And it's like a terrorist for trash men. I didn't know. Aren't you not trash men? They're trash men.
Starting point is 00:51:41 They're trash men. What are you worried? They're going to put in a word and make your life go sideways? He's a trash man. Throw whatever you want in there. He's a filth engineer. He's a dirty engineer.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Get those fucking excrement captains of industry out of here. I don't care. I'll throw anything in there and if they catch me, I'll end up having to pay $150 extra because that's what they make you charge. If they're looking for Woody's rocks and calling that out,
Starting point is 00:52:12 they're definitely calling out a... Does your garbage man come with a... Does this truck have the clamp he grabs and shakes the... He still caught the scene. Everyone's gonna... They're gonna hear a bunch of wet thuds okay all right well x-nay that how about we put it in someone else's dumpster like a like
Starting point is 00:52:33 a restaurant dumpster maybe somewhere where there's gonna be stinky bloody stuff anyway that okay we need to find one that's not like a taco like somewhere where it's not under constant surveillance that'll be tough because if we just show up cameras everywhere you're right yeah you're right cameras everywhere like in the middle of the woods seems like best and then like maybe do the bacteria thing and throw some fungus on it it's like i don't know about that bacteria thing like i'm telling you nothing you didn't let you were like fuck how fire will take so long to get rid of a body and you're going to bacteria you're going to the smallest mouth and you're like how you didn't let you were like fuck how fire will take so long to get rid of a body and you're going to bacteria you're going to the smallest mouth and you're like kyle you don't understand we're
Starting point is 00:53:09 gonna take microscopic bites out of it yeah very slow for many many months fire will burn that body up in a night it was already a taylor stewart system when i suggested that will it it is not it is not the actual length of time of decomposition that will get Turn that body up in a night. It was already in Taylor's sewer system when I suggested that. Will it? It is not the actual length of time of decomposition that will get you in trouble. What is it? It's the amount of attention. I'm imagining in my home where I live, if I try to incinerate a body in my yard, I'm going to get called out. A body full of shit and organs burning for hours.
Starting point is 00:53:43 So long. You keep going back to this crazy time period. All right, here's what you do. Take an arm out there. How long would it take you to smoke an arm? Now turn the heat up, and we're not smoking it anymore. We're incinerating. We're going to turn it to ashes and just bone,
Starting point is 00:53:55 and then we're going to smash that arm with a hammer while the leg is cooking, and we're going to start a chain. While the leg's cooking, we're smashing the arm bones. Once the arm bones are smashed, they're going in like a fucking bag and they're getting dumped out somewhere nobody cares about little bits of bone nobody it looks like fertilizer i do i do like this plan more than the other one because at least i'm not i don't have a big burn to my back i got it i got it i got it just you'd have to get a smoker that went i got you'd have to get a green something that can go to like a thousand degrees something absurd what are we made of but flesh and
Starting point is 00:54:26 bone you can absolutely cook a person down to ashes all right i'll tell you this i've seen it have you seen those people when they take like a chicken and they put it under a bucket and then they build a fire around it because that's supposed to cook the chicken yeah but they time it wrong so when they pull the bucket up it's just fucking. I'm telling you, we can turn a person to ashes in our backyard. Especially, I mean, it's probably a woman. Let's be real, right? It will be someone short, a short man at the very most.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Because we're done with her, Woody. We're on the same team. I was saying guys are cool. Why would we kill one of them? Oh, yeah. The women are all murder. It's because they're not cool. Can you imagine trying to kill and murder and deal with harley's body what a nightmare just catch me like like no just give up give up right away i kill
Starting point is 00:55:13 someone fucking six foot seven like a harley a sam hyde i'm just throwing i'm just pushing them out of the car on a in like a wooded area and hopefully someone else like i can't move sam hyde effectively on my own like in a in a way that doesn't spray evidence everywhere like i can't move him i mean i might be able to drag him to the backyard i can't get him out of here i'd have to chop up i'm gonna need to kill him in the bed of my truck take it somewhere i can dump him and then i bet i can clean the bed of my truck yeah that's a great thing you want to take that liner out if you had to like whatever it took but yeah i would imagine just bleaching like i don't know someone who's like five pressure washer five five that's what i'm talking about easier to murder a kid imagine
Starting point is 00:56:00 a kid you know how easy yes well that's that's despicable you need to feeling children is is really it's kind of how you work your way up to women oh no you put a kid in a barrel i wonder if there's like a barrel i wonder if there's like a serial killer like hierarchy where like the child killers get bullied a little bit by like the women killers and then the women killers get bullied a bit by the male killers where it's like really you can't you really you oh albert fish really you've been killing uh how many how many oh you killed 47 nine-year-olds really i killed 14 marines on a marine base like a lot of serial killers this is successful thriving serial killers don't look like they can win fights very well they use the
Starting point is 00:56:46 element of surprise or trickery or drugs or poison weapons so if a guy who has like 47 kills is in prison does he get the respect of being a crafty motherfucker and dangerous or are they like dude my little brother could beat you in an arm wrestling contest. I'm going to steal your brownies. I bet it's so to do with how he killed people. If he was the clever little... Kind of like Joe Pesci. If he was
Starting point is 00:57:16 a little guy, but the thing about him that made him intimidating was that he has no reservations and will absolutely stab you in a way that's underhanded dirty shameless shameless anyone with a sense of shame would never attack someone that way but what makes joe pesci scary is he has no shame he'll stab you in the eye while talking to you cordially and that would denote a an amount of respect i imagine because no one wants to have beef with
Starting point is 00:57:41 someone who at any time can go from huh huh, really? What's funny about me? To stabbing you in the fucking head. But if it's like... I would be afraid of any serial killer. Any of them. I would assume they're all... I feel the need to prove that I can burn this body to you because you've seen this.
Starting point is 00:58:00 What would it take? If I had a whole cow's leg, like shoulder and all, I'm sure I could make... Of course you can burn a body. What would it take if I had a whole cow's leg, like shoulder and all? I'm sure I could make... Of course we could burn a body. Yeah, we could burn a body. I'm just saying that the Hollywood movie idea of how fast it is to burn a body,
Starting point is 00:58:17 like when Woody and I were talking about it, is not like... If you went into burning a body, like 30 minutes from now, we're dumping ashes in a creek bed. It's like, no. No, it's going to be a huge amount of time. And the biggest scary part would be someone seeing into your yard what you were doing or smelling something untoward or noticing perhaps that, hey, it's the 15th time we've come over here to inform you that there's deep jet black smoke coming out of your house.
Starting point is 00:58:43 And everyone on the block can see it because once it chars, like it's going to get real black. I must have the best place for burning bodies. Cause I've done this. I've nobody cares. Yeah. I've, I've had jet black smoke coming out of my backyard for hours.
Starting point is 00:58:58 No one says a thing. My neighbors are a little nosier than your guys. I think. I think so. Like growing up, like obviously at my dad's place we would get a burn permit to do big burns but that's just so that when they get the 911 calls they ignore them because we would make we would have like a trash pile that had built up
Starting point is 00:59:16 built up over the course of a year that might have like i don't know the old barn door fell off throw it in there you know oh that tree died. Get the bulldozer. Push it in that pile. Everything's in there. Probably our garbage, too. Everything. We'd soak that bitch down with gasoline. It didn't matter what was in there. It was going up. If we lit that motherfucker, it'd get a big boom.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Because of the fumes. Yeah. How fast could you burn a body with gasoline? Would that even help? So I burn with gas a lot. The trouble is the gas burns and not the thing that you're trying to burn. It burns on top of it.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Oftentimes, like, I mean, if you're burning cardboard, then it just works. It's great. But I've poured gas on wood that's hard to get going and then have the gas burn off without the wood catching. Yep. Yeah, I guess it's not that great. It shouldn't be your murder go-to. When you put the, when you introduce the oxygen or the air underneath
Starting point is 01:00:12 and make a furnace out of this thing, it's going to burn hot enough to fucking forge iron. You're not going to worry about that grandma you need to dispose of. Oil's hard to burn. But once it does, it burns hot and long and black and smoky yep if you ever think it would take for you to uh i didn't hear cross-dyes like railroad ties oh no i've never burnt them now you're not supposed to and if you ever do don't get near that smoke sounds like experience talking it is that's that's the answer incarnate that's uh they
Starting point is 01:00:47 soaked them and i think it's in creosote or at least that's how the word uh comes to me and i believe that's like every carcinogen known to man condensed down to par and then soaked into a board so it will never rot i've never burned a um uh railroad I've done the equivalent, which is a piling for like a pier that you have in the ocean. I bet they're treated in the same way. They're the same kind of sticky brown bullshit thick inside. Cross ties will leak the stuff that's in them on a hot summer day. It's not good to inhale that when you burn it. And you can smell it.
Starting point is 01:01:23 I know that smell of whatever that shit that they're treated with is take a railroad tie add some barnacles and rotting sea life and now you got a piling there was a time when the railroad was tearing up the railroad and replacing like a section of it and so they had all their cross ties that they wanted to get rid of and a lot of them were ruined but say 70 were pristine and they had a mountain of them piled up it was colossal and it was like first come first serve and we got so many goddamn cross ties that that day we built walls out of them and all sorts of structures and everything was built out of cross ties for like 10 years after that cancer.
Starting point is 01:02:07 I was going to say you want some cancer chicken because they're making it over at the Myers. It wasn't a chicken, but you know, if you're retaining wall to keep something back or something like that. Don't look at you. Not the boss of me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:23 Well, I got to go get the barrel fired up. We shouldn't have talked about it on the show. Damn. 468.

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