Painkiller Already - PKN 473

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

pkn 473 new middleweight world champion huh boys oh my fucking god oh my fucking god it is the what is one of the biggest upsets in ufc history it is it is top three men's upsets of all time without any discussion at all like like you got matt sarah taking out gsp and you've got um i'm talking about title fights yeah and uh and there's one more that doesn't come to me right now. Obviously, Holly taking out Ronda and Amanda Nunez losing to Esparza, whoever it was last year or earlier in this year, perhaps. Crazy didn't see him

coming. The O'Malley guy might be the product of some sort of black magic slash tomfoolery with the judges. I don't know how he keeps winning. He is also a champion, but we got to talk about the middleweight champion of the world, Sean Strickland, the least politically man in the sports arena,

possibly today, the man who just talks about like, we've got to get politicians, serious politicians who will take women's right to vote away from them. You know, like that's his style. And he was, I saw Israel.

I saw him. He was like a plus 650 favorite at one point. Like the money just on Strickland, if you're betting on Strickland to win, was like four and a half to one, five to one at closing. So at times it was way better. Early in the fight, they had that stat where it's like, someone bet 225,000 on Israel Adesanya, and the payout is only 31 grand or something like that oh my gosh and

throughout the fight it was just like the numbers kept changing I was like oh my god I picked a good one to watch Sean Strickland did not think he was going to win this fight he talked about it thoroughly he's like I just do the best I can you know uh like what are you gonna do about this and the other because he does all those things well oh I don't know here we go though he dominated uh the entire fight he lost round two but it was very close and it wasn't like no one got he never got hurt his fate was his face was pristine israel adesanya is known to be this counter striking elusive hard to strike control you with my super long distance a guy was maybe seven inches of reach advantage sean strickland what he did was he didn't care that he was

going to get hit. Paolo Costa, big superhero man. He was scared. He didn't want to get hit in the face. Yoel Romero, giant Cuban circus freak that they might have made with Soviet technology, and I'm not even making a joke. Look it up. Cold War era shit.

He hailed from that time period and from a Cuban country, and he doesn't look real. He's a Soviet experiment, boys. He wouldn't walk into Israel Adesanya's range because he knew he was going to get that pop, pop. He didn't want those little touchy punches. He didn't want his nose to bleed.

Our man said, here I come. He hit me a little. All right. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. And he just kept biting down just kept walking forward cutting him off and israel out of sonja couldn't deal with and eventually he caught him with that fucking cross that right and decked him and then he went off he mauled him against the fence and israel was done for the rest of the fight he'd have probably quit right then if he could because

the rest of the fight he's just in survival mode getting bullied getting pushed around as the fight is ending, the last 10 seconds, Sean is walking him down, screaming at him. Come on, China man. Come on, China man. Screaming at him. And Israel is defeated. Looks scared, backing away.

When it ends, when they blow the fucking horn or whatever, usually both fighters put their hands up and sort of put on a show for the judges. They say it matters. Sometimes maybe you, Hey, he looks like he's, he thinks he won. Maybe he did.

Our man was, yeah, he knew he won. Israel's just defeated over there. The whole thing. So that thing you said about the end of the fifth is what got me the most. Right. So Israel out of Sonia is thought to be the second greatest fighter in that

weight class ever. I think Joe Roggan says he's the best but i i put him behind silva and um uh he's losing his title right it's over he's not about to get an immediate rematch he already used that chip up so that shit maybe cal disagrees i i anyway he's losing his title he's fucked fucked. He's in the last round. Everyone watching this fight, including the two fighters and every coach, is certain beyond a shadow of a doubt. Israel needs a knockout in the fifth if he's going to steal this from the jaws of defeat. And he's walking him down.

He's saying, come on, China, man. And what does Israel do? He walks backwards. He's walking, come on China, man. And what does Israel do? He walks backwards. He's walking backwards like he did all night. He doesn't want to he just doesn't want the smoke. He don't want to get hit either all of a sudden. It turned out that Israel also hates

getting hit in the face. You know what? I'm not a fan. I would hate it. I mean, most people aren't. I think Sean Strickland doesn't mind it so much. Some of my worst days involved getting punched in the face. I don't think you can tell how much Sean Strickland likes being punched in the face based on

that fight. I was talking to friends I was with, watching, and kind of just doing fact-finding questions. I'm like, alright, in the middle of the third round, I'm like, guys, there has to be, there's a score thing, because Adesanya hasn't taken a forward step the entire time. And they were like, I get why you say that, but it gets a little spooky up in there with the scoring.

And so it could still be Adesanya. And then like almost on cue, that coach came in and was like, we're not trying to win some fucking point fest bullshit. Stay on and beat the shit out of them you're barely winning like and you could see like strictly oh i gotta keep doing it like i i i didn't know that you could win a fight like that because i've always heard that leg kicks were just the most brutal horrible thing in the world even though they don't look that bad and that this guy was mr leg kick and i saw him like miss so many kicks just by strickland just like june a little jump back and then adesanya is like out of position and i i knew enough to see he was out of position there like that it was it was cool to see apparently the ufc people online were like he just beat the shit out of the best counter striker

in the league by doing traditional boxing and like using his shoulders to protect himself like styles make fights because Sean can't do that to everyone because there's a lot of guys who will just wrestle with him they'll pick him up

and they'll contest that or they'll just nullify it in one other way but Israel doesn't have those tools he can't wrestle with him they'll pick him up and they'll contest that or or they'll just they'll just nullify it in one other way but israel doesn't have those tools he's not gonna he can't wrestle with not offensively he doesn't have offensive wrestling it's great defensive wrestling he's he's like a kickboxer i remember when he fought yoel romero who was again a medical experiment to make a cuban super soldier or wrestler for the olympics. He's like Project Walrus, man, for real. They made him. And that guy took him down maybe once. He's hard to take down.

And everyone was like, yeah, that's the only way Sean Strickland can win. He's got to out-wrestle Israel Adesanya. It's like, really? He's got to throw this guy to the ground and beat him so severely that that's the win? Every round? No. But somehow he did a different thing he just outboxed the kickboxing master and now that loss that he took earlier in the year when he stepped up and fought

Pereira but Zach will you please pretty please find a picture of Sean Strickland standing next to Alex Pereira Pereira is spelled like p-e-R-E-I-R-A Pereira. But they pronounce it weird because they got introduced to English late. And he trained him for that fight, didn't he? Pereira. That guy, and that's a meme in its own right. That guy has

stalked Israel. Look at this. Okay, so they fought each other. It was close how big man because it's the same that's the other thing israel lost one and won one against the guy on the left they all fought in the same weight class i guess the guy on the left isn't training to cut right now he looks huge well what do you think he cuts? His fucking shins? I don't know. He's a monster. He takes his head off her way at night. Yeah, he screws his fucking head off her way.

He's just shockingly bigger than Strictly. Shockingly bigger. I had a bad vibe about it because during the cut, he was doing poorly. There's an interview where they asked him to do an interview. This is maybe the day before the fight. He's like, or two days, whatever. If people don't know, you fight at 185.

If it's not a championship, they give you a pound leeway. It's basically the 186 pound division. When you cut to make 186, cutting to make 185 is, for some reason like twice as hard. And he was interviewing.

He could barely string his sentences together. He couldn't hold a thought. He couldn't concentrate. You'd ask him a question, and he didn't seem to hear you or focus long enough. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. He's like barely conscious. That extra pound matters.

I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. He's barely conscious. That extra pound matters. I'm sorry. And then Daniel Cormier, seasoned fighter, had terrible weight cuts himself, recognized all the symptoms. He's like, hey, you know, Sean, we're going to let you go rest and recuperate, you know, get some hydration in you, Sean. He's like, cut the fucking feet of his feet and let him find a doctor. Holy shit, he's the main event.

Let him go. He's a juice in that motherfucker he did not seem well i saw the same thing dude i i didn't want to watch the fight i would watch the fight alone because i didn't want to be in the group of guys when they if any of them cheered for israel that was going to hurt me and if that when they were i don't need someone to voice just how badly my guy is losing either because I'm absorbing it anyway. Oh, my God. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, do you see?

Do you see, Kyle? Your guy. Look, look, look. Kyle, your guy. He's getting the shit. Why aren't you looking? Oh, you got something in your eye. It's really running there, huh?

Dude, leave me the fuck alone. Let me take this loss. So I went off on my own. So I watched that shit by myself cheering my ass off dude in disbelief the i so i don't hate israel as much as kyle does and i don't love strickland as much as taylor does i was a little more neutral on the fight i'll admit i've gotten like israel liking anime and being from the internet and stuff that shit wore off on me three years ago right i think my love for him has faded sellout stuff yeah um but strickland's routine aged on me really quickly like oh i get it you say wacky things you're basically a walking pka whatever

um like it didn't it didn't work for me but uh so i was a little neutral on the fight but as i'm watching strickland wind i kind of wanted to see it. I kind of wanted some fresh blood. Plus, Israel's cleaned out the whole fucking division. Who do you want to see Israel Adesanya fight? Who hasn't he beaten yet? I want to see Jon Jones smoking. That's what I really want to see.

For non-UFC fans, they fight in different weight classes. Kyle knows that, but he'd just like to see the fight. For non-UFC fans, they fight in different weight classes. Kyle knows that, but he just liked to see the fight. So anyway, I was ready for some new blood, and the whole time I'm like, can Tricklin really do this? He's a huge underdog. I get that we're deep in the third or into the fourth,

but I'm still not convinced that he can win this. I just kept thinking that Israel was going to turn this around i kept thinking that at some point the guy who's been in fourth and fifth round fights 18 times in a row i think it is maybe 19 it's something crazy like championship fights in a row i'm probably wrong about that it's a bar israel or strickland israel because he's been the champion forever and then when he's not the champion forever. And then when he's not the champion, he's trying to beat the champion. So you end up with him trying to beat champions like four times because he took the belt, and then he's lost it and took it, and then he stepped up to three different times,

and then all of his title defense and add all that together, and you get a lot of fucking five-round fights that he's fought. Strickland, not so much because five-round is either main event stuff or title fights. Usually you fight three. It's a big fucking difference. It didn't matter. Strickland was the one with all the gas. Strickland was yelling. You don't yell

if you're winded. You breathe through your mouth. He's got enough wind to call this guy a fucking cocksucker at the end. That was beautiful to me. I don't like israel for just so many reasons it just hate him i just hate looking at him i i really hate his style i like i hate his whole shtick i don't really love sean o'malley shtick either i don't like

that goofiness like he he knows he's a poser himself i remember one time and it's whatever it's kind of funny but he's wearing two ridiculous watches that he doesn't own at the press conference and they're like i mean notice your watch you're wearing two watches and he's like yeah neither one of them are set to the right time though and i was like is that funny or just cringy i can't decide so i'll give it to him but adesanya bugs me i honestly think i can beat sean o'malley at arm wrestling and i know each of you can and while i don't think i can beat Sean O'Malley at arm wrestling. And I know each of you can. And while I don't think I can beat him in a fight, he fights at 135.

Is that right? I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if you're right about that. He's skinny as fuck. He's a little guy. I didn't know that. Yeah, I don't. I think it's 135.

Can someone fact check me? Is it 135? I think so. If your arm is way bigger and longer, it's going to be easier It's 135 And he's long He's not a featherweight is he?

Volkanovski is your featherweight boy So he's right below that He's 135 And his biceps are about the size of his wrist 135, Zach checked it for me I don't know I'm not usually turned off by little fighters. But for some reason, Sugar, like the fact that he has no biceps, no pecs, no quads, no anything.

His last fight was great. He cleaned that guy's clock. It was so beautiful to see Aljamain get out of there. I'm just tired of him. But I bet he's strong. I saw a clip of a, uh, uh, like a mountain climber, rock climber using this.

I wish you could see his arms a little better, but I mean, they're a little skinny. He's a lean, lean fella. Mm hmm. And that hair is typical for him. It's always different,

but it's always silly. Um, you know why I liked Al Jermaine Sterling? Uh, you guys, even if you're not UFC fans, you'll remember i was talking about this when he won the fight i'm sorry when he won his belt he won it by getting losing a fight

clearly getting kneed in the head and then uh he chose to say i can't go on disqualify the other fighter and won the title now that part like it'd be nicer if he won it like honestly but afterwards the shit he talked acting like you know he clearly dominated the fight and that his opponent is scared to face him again that was hilarious that was like there wasn't a better way to handle that social situation the whole internet's piling on this guy millions of people you're a paper champ you're the loser you don't deserve that title etc and he's just like doubling down like that guy doesn't belong in the same planet as me i'm so much better and i'm like okay actually now i like yeah i wouldn't waste the way i remember it it's it's hard to remember fights like especially the sequence of storylines that are real.

But I remember him winning that against Piotr Jan, the Russian champ, bad motherfucker. And then it seemed like in the rematch, I thought he beat Piotr for real. And it was like, yeah, it was real close, though. Maybe not finish. And then I remember Piotr fought Sean O'Malley, and it was clear that Piotr had won, but they gave it to O'Malley.

And so then O'Malley got to go, I think, fight for the title after that. So O'Malley should have never gotten the title shot. He shouldn't have gotten it to begin with, because he lost that fucking fight so soon. Yes, you're right. It wasn't close. You said it right, but I listened to it wrong. to begin with because he lost that fucking fight yes you're right you're right oh yeah yeah

it wasn't close you said it right but i listened to it yeah real upsetting stuff but um uh the you're about to have three white champs and it's possible that the whites clean out the whole ufc this year you know if steep a colby uh comes in uh colby comes in um then you've got a white ufc i think who's the 170 pound champ right now i used to always know this um is it leon they haven't oh leon edwards or did he just lose i don't know who did he just lose? I don't know. Who did he lose to? I'm at a loss. But Colby hasn't fought in a year and a half now. I know that.

It's Leon. It is Leon. Okay. But Leon hasn't fought in six or eight months himself. It's a really inactive division. Like, Kamaru Uzman should be chomping

at somebody's heels by now. But that's probably enough UFC. Anyway. Oh, wait. It's not about fighting. It's not about Strickland. But there was one clip that made me laugh when there was that 6'7 giant Russian guy who was fighting the other guy. And he won with some, I guess, rare choke, an Ezekiel choke.

Where he was just... and the way this was, it was like a six foot seven guy who was much leaner, and then the other guy was like six feet tall, so an enormous difference in size there. And so when this big giant Russian guy was on top of his opponent, like choking him, like you can, his back's so big, you can like barely see the guy. And one of the announcers, one of the announcers is female,

and one of the malecers, one of the announcers is female. And one of the announced, the male announcers goes like, man, can you just imagine a guy that size on top of you? And she goes, and like me and my buddy, I'm like, did she just like,

like that? That's hilarious. She was terrific. She laughed at that. And then later on, she's like hyping up Sean O'Malley. I think it was right after the win. And she's like, he's walking forward, and that's a man. No, he walked forward, and he won it, and he fought like a man.

And I was like, that's awesome. I saw people wanting her to replace Joe. Yes. I want that. I want her to replace DC. Get DC out of there. I thought DC was better without Joe. Joe fucking sucks shit now. Joe Rogan is the worst.

I used to hate when Joe Rogan missed a show. I wanted Joe Rogan on every show. He was the best there is. He would sit there and explain to you what's going on. Now he's the most insincere cock sucking shitball biased commentator in all of the ufc and he just starts podcasting like he's doing a fight companion during the event get to work you fuck shit you're supposed to be commentating on this fight he and dc when they're next to each, just start riffing and talking about other shit. And if I see one more insincere knockout reaction where the two of them start hugging each other and get blown back or whatever, enough.

You did it once. The internet broke. It was fantastic. Now you do it every fucking knockout because it's part of your bullshit show. Fuck you, Joe Rogan. You are terrible at your job now. Get your shit together and talk about the fight or retire you're not even good at this you've lost it

that's i thought he was very well liked as an no everyone's fucking well a lot of people are done with rogan if you go to reddit rogan gets blasted like i just did all the time yeah on which one though the fighter and the kids subreddit, because if you go there, of course, they call it MMA. You call them toe. Oh, cause you gotta,

you, you gotta get on the fighter and the kids subreddit and like, like I'm telling you, there's enough there. It's like down the rabbit hole with like a whole mythos. There's a, they've got their own codes. They got their own language.

It is hard to keep up. Sometimes I get, I read it. I've been on the fight and the subreddit and sometimes i'm like yeah that's funny oh that's too harsh and sometimes i'm like i don't even get it like i don't do like oh okay now i know who the diddler is now i know like i i know the different characters is it just a podcast subreddit that's evolved into a like a more extreme mma discussion no it's a podcast subreddit that's evolved to basically commentating on the rogan universe mostly about the fighter and the kid but also like it's a subreddit that's devoted to hating brendan shob and all that he is about and trying to destroy his life and mock him in public and lift up but you're leaving out the

diddler you're leaving out callan you're leaving out rogan you're leaving out who's the guy ari like they they talk about all these all the whole like rogan you know how rogan like chooses which yeah his like ecosystem he's the king maker right now and uh they talk about his ecosystem but kyle's also right like they talk about mostly ben and sh Kyle's also right. Like, they talk about mostly Ben and Schwab. Okay. Yeah, I knew he was hated. Yeah. I've never heard him say word one.

I feel like Schwab, to me, it's not hated for what he did. It's hated for how he got there. Like, he doesn't really deserve his place as one of Rogan's princes. He's not funny enough. He wasn't a good enough fighter. He's not really deserve his place as one of Rogan's princes. He's not funny enough. He wasn't a good enough fighter. He's not really remarkable. And he's not smart. He's not that clever.

But here he is, rich and famous. And I think he's the Nickelback of comedians. He's just been manufactured and placed there. Rather than, say what you will about Rogangan and i just shit on him for 10 minutes he created all that himself right he rogan's been following his own passions and belief systems for 30 years now 50 years now and you have to respect why rogan is the king right he did all that um but you can't say that about brennan schwab And I feel like that's why people hate him so much. Not necessarily because he's killing fish in his aquarium or whatever.

He's killing fish. He's a bad fish keeper. Yeah. Out of negligence or idiocy. He, well, he's new at it, but he also doesn't put in the work.

Like in my opinion, I feel like this is what happens when you're rich with ADD and you keep fish. Right. So like, oh, this one's pretty. I'll throw it in. The existing fish eats it in a gulp in five seconds. Did you not like research to see like if this is a carnivore fish that eats smaller ones for a living? Because you threw in your brand new fish and he lasted one second.

That is if that's what he's doing like i can't imagine not researching that like yes does this fish eat the other fish oh yes i can't i can't do that right but if 270 was a penny to you then you might be more inclined to make that mistake and that to me is the genesis of why he's so bad at it they don't like him because he is um you know he cheats on his wife and he's a poser and he he lies about like everything um and he's right i remember when steve-o asked him about his his liquor because you know he's got his own brand of liquor called tiger thick when it's really funny he'll'll bring it on the Joe Rogan show. It's thick with like a bunch of three C's.

Tiger Thick and Joe. Everybody always makes fun of the name. They'll taste it and they'll be like, all right. I mean, yeah, I guess it's okay. But God, I hate the name. Straight to his face. But Steve-O was like, what's it made of? He's like, what do you mean?

What do you mean? what's it made of? He's like, what do you mean? What do you mean? What's it made of? I guarantee McGregor has an answer, like a ready-made answer. Oh, it's made from this kind of barley. Oh, the finest barley in the golden hills of Northern Ireland. Only the blessed. No Protestant may lay foot upon the hill where the barley has been

grown like he'd have a thing the IRA guard those fields you know like it'd be the most goddest shit you ever heard brave soldiers all brave all he literally will be asked like what's in your whiskey and like

that is not a gotcha that's like a promote in your whiskey and like that is not a gotcha that's like a that's exactly promote your whiskey real quick and say it's actually made from this that and this and we first tried this and then we realized we can get a smoother finish with this and so we went that direction i don't know about whiskey enough to like say the barleys and whatever other things but if i had a product that was about whiskey, I would fucking learn it. So he just doesn't know anything. He always flexes with those leased cars he's got. And look, I mean, shit, those leases are expensive.

Like, don't misunderstand. You've got to be rich to afford those leases. But still. What is he lying about mostly? Like, obvious stuff? Like his R&D career? He lies about his physical like like athletic accomplishments because he had an a brief football career i i can't quote it off

the top of my head um i'm i'm bad with facts today anyway but i think he um uh i think he played a little bit of nfl or maybe he never even started but he definitely played some some college ball yeah something yeah and he he will now because of his show and his friends he'll have like nfl players on his show like good ones like not just like anybody like oh this guy's good this guy starts for the fucking browns or whatever yeah and he'll start talking about his times and his accomplishments and maybe combine numbers and they'll just kind of look at him like uh-huh yeah yeah you're one of us all right then yeah brendan yeah i mean really your combine numbers are better than mine interesting i'm in

the one time they were going to do this thing where he had challenged someone else to like a 40-yard dash again like facts but when it came to race day he faked an injury and i think he said he blew both of his quads which would have his football career in front of me do you want to hear it yeah it's pretty short all right so he transferred to university of colorado and uh redshirted and played four years so like he was a real football player and then he was undrafted in the nfl but he was signed to the arena football league but he was released real football player and then he was undrafted in the nfl but he was signed to the arena football league but he was released without making the roster so that's it he was a d1 player but basically no pro career better than me but you know but he's not happy with being a d1 player

he wants to punch it up a bit i guess and my bigger like he'll tell stories like how he like met someone and dominated this interaction and then he'll tell it again and like it's a very different version of it like you did i got the example go please i got this one devoted to memory he said um he'll be like yeah um dave chappelle came up no no no um i'll tell I'll tell you how I knew that I was working too much. It was when Floyd Mayweather, he was in a restaurant, and I saw him, and I'm thinking,

I'm not going to bother Floyd. And he came up to me. It always goes like this, every one of his stories, where I didn't want to bother that big celebrity, but they came up to me. Can you believe it? That's how big of a deal I am.

Every one of them starts like this. And he says, oh, I know you. you you that white boy that works too much yeah no one says that no one says that and then every time the next time he tells the story they'll be like oh i know you you're that ass kicker that tells jokes or oh i know you you're that funny guy who kicks ass it evolves over i know you you played for that funny guy who kicks ass. It evolves over time. I know you. You played for the Titans. Won two Super Bowls.

The story, the lie changes over time based on his current aspirations and self sort of esteem. At first, it was like, you're that tough guy that works too much or whatever. And then over time, it's like, ah, you're that funny guy that works too much it's like he's not even an ass kicker anymore somehow they forgot he even fought now they just

know him as a comedian when in reality like you'll see when i see big roasts and not not really roast but panel shows uh that comedians will do now like he's always a punchline he he'll get dropped as a punchline once a night about his special or just referencing Gringo Poppy, which was his special on Showtime, I think. It's crazy that his first thing ever, the first time you ever see any comedy from Brendan Shaw,

it's a Showtime special. And that's why people really dug in deep. Because it was bad. If it was good, if it was passable, I don't think there'd be any hate. If it was just like, all right, look, I didn't hate it. That one part,

if you had a hard time hating it, people would have loved him. They gave him a shot and he hit it. Was it so bad that it was like he didn't even try? He was trying real hard and when you film a special it's your crowd they bought tickets or yeah they're there to see you and it's not good and it's he's

clearly not doing well with the crowd it's bad it's his own home turf like i don't know what the what the ratings are but you know there's there's ratings for specials i think it might be the lowest rated of all time. Of course, we're in that generation where people will make something. It'll snowball and feed itself. It's a self-perpetuating thing at some point when they're like,

oh, can you believe it's almost the worst rated? Oh, and now it is. Yeah, or a crowd of frustrated people will review Bomb. That's a thing that happens now. Sure. Yeah, it's rated 1.4 out of 10 called you'd be surprised not a lot of positive i thought it was gonna be five i thought it'd be out of five damn that's terrible how would you how would you get up to record a special

and not know ahead of time that you weren't ready for this. How would you not have an understanding? I feel like at the time, he was kind of on fire. Brandon Schwab didn't start off as super hated. He had the number one sports podcast on iTunes for years. Things just exploded. Rogan launched his career with that talk about how he needed to retire from the UFC, the you'd be surprised conversation yes and then he went from that into comedy and everyone was like oh let's see this let's check

it out and he he was learning the craft but you know we all start somewhere and I think that a lot of the world felt like that too but you fast forward three four years and they're like oh well now I just fucking hate you you're not better at this you may be arguably worse and stay in your lane world of yourself the main thing like stay in your lane if you're not truly passionate and competent at a thing then don't do it at at that level if you want to do what anyone else would have to do and walk in off the street somewhere on open mic night and and go up there and do your thing we everyone would respect the shit out of that but you did the opposite of that you you skipped the line you skipped the building the line went to you you wrote a limo past them and spat on on the

hard-working people like reading over their type 5 and it's like the first on showtime like it's like the first it's like a comedian using the first hour of aggregate content they ever did yeah and not going through a bunch of shit where it's like oh this is bad this isn't good a perfect example mike tyson who's also a meat presumed to be a meathead athlete former athlete he did his one-man show and it is not only inspirational and very funny yeah but it's a physical performance he's sweating he's a little chubby but at this point he doesn't the the guides of fire have not rekindled his heart yet he's fucking like he's a little chubby and he's sweating and he's toweling the sweat off

sopping it off i think he's got one of those little mics uh i don't remember i he's definitely kind of man who should be like a mega church pastor dude it's so good it's so good he tells his life story the trials and tribulations and someone's ghost written with him but god damn if he didn't perform it well to turn naturally funny yeah i'm glad you called that out like He's ghostwritten, but I was going to say he hired some professionals to help him get started. All right, cool. Surely. But I felt like he delivered the whole thing with some humility. He didn't go up there and say, hey, world,

get ready for me. I am now a peer amongst Rogan and Chappelle and help me out, Louis C.K., whoever the Titans are. These are my new friends and crowd and this is what instead it's like this isn't really my gig i'm trying something new here we go and then he does a better job than you'd expect and everyone respects it i heard a great mike tyson quote i'm

gonna mess it up but uh someone asked him uh you know my people love you i bet you walk down the street and all day, people are like really friendly to you and cordial because you are an intimidating guy too. I bet everyone isn't nice. I bet some people are mean. Some people say things you don't like or they try to get under your skin.

What do you do? He's like, well, some days, I remember I was the world champion and I remember all the things that I've done. It really hurts me. It gets under my skin. It tears me down. Then I just remember I'm nothing.

I'm just a piece of shit. And nobody's better than anybody else in this world. And it doesn't bother me at all. Fuck. Is that what he's thinking under all that? Like, is he really inside philosophize? Yeah. Right.

He's like a little black Buddha over there after all. Like, what is going on? Not little at all. He's easy to like. Like, he's funny. He's goofy. Like, he talks in a unique way. Like, it's easy to pay attention to Tyson.

This other guy, i've never even i've never heard a word of him i couldn't recognize him yeah i love the pigeon shit you know he still got those pigeons his first fight was over a pigeon yeah his first fight ever was over a pigeon kid killed his pigeon he keeps in pain stridion pigeons yeah really um yeah he's passionate about it and i've heard him talk about it you instantly recognize that he's passionate about it. And I've heard him talk about it. You instantly recognize that he's not a pigeon poser. He's talking things about pigeons that I didn't know. I had no idea. The breeds, what he likes about pigeons,

behavioral observations he's made. It's a lot better than like, you know, I've never seen a baby pigeon. Oh, yeah, come to think of it. That's the one thing everyone knows about pigeons. You haven't seen babies? Not Tyson. When he was tyson when he was broke when my when tyson was broke and he couldn't afford to do so he was given those the the pigeons had these feeders where you can take a a bottle and upend it into the top of it and the bottle sits there and acts as the feeder all fiji waters all

brand new fiji waters that he's fucking cracking open brand new and turning open there. That was $3 water in 2002. Yeah, that was $3 water when $3 was $3. He loves his pigeons. You're right. He's not a poser. He was,

he was like, I can't afford to do that, you know, but nothing but the best for my pigeons. No, I like Mike Tyson a lot. And remember when he roughed that dude up on the plane, fucking boxed his ass up,

came back over the seat? Yeah. Really? He fought someone on a plane? Like, I was asking for it. He assaulted a man who needed it on a plane. I thought they, like, threw you in prison for fucking around on planes now.

They didn't do shit. Eh, there was video of it and everything. He would have beat the shit out of the whole tsa lineup yeah i swear to god it's different rules for tyson because if the cops show up they're gonna be tyson fans they're like damn what did he do really the other guy are you are you telling me the other guys started it and antagonized mr tyson yeah well open and shut case boys let's get out of here that dude was bleeding from the head mr tyson okay you're okay champ yeah you're looking yeah guys bleeding out of his eyes now tyson how's the

hand whole side of that guy's head was bleeding and uh the guy's like shouldn't have fucked with him huh and the guy's like no i think i clearly with him, huh? And the guy's like, no. I think I clearly recognize he made a mistake. Kyle, did you see that fight where the guy was getting beaten in a parking lot recently? If it helps, a black guy was beating a white guy. And then the white guy's girlfriend or parent girlfriend tried to save him. The black guy picked her up with one arm manages to spin her around drop her on her head knocks her out cold and then he goes back to the white guy and just continues to beat him down did you see it guile can you knock her out he knocked her out cold he he broke

her neck and killed her no no he broke her uh collarbone and ripped something else. I read about it. Mine's better. Yeah. I saw a different story where my thing happened. So the, and the guy that he was hitting, you have to, it's hard to watch. So they're filming it from like what looked like maybe a fourth story apartment, maybe third and a hundred feet away. And you can hear these punches land. Like he's just softening meat or something, just pow, pow,

punching him in the face. And, uh, the backstory is they had words at a bar. So the back, like I followed him back to his place and beat him up in the parking lot when he was going home. And he's like,

talk now, Ninja. We'll do that. Talk now, Ninja that talk now ninja talk now ninja and uh uh the guy obviously is not talking he's out cold and he's continuing to just beat on the head of this unconscious man uh the report was his skull was mush he broke every bone in his skull with his hands. Is he dead? No. There was also video of the medevac, like the helicopter ambulance, taking the guy off. And it looks like he's going to survive. And I imagine the way it takes him for everything he's worth, which is dozens, if not fifties of dollars.

Usually the kind of guy who follows someone back to their apartment loaded a real winner someone who's like mentally with it saying i had it why don't they they should i feel like when so the black guy's in jail now hopefully right i i didn't see that report but it's my expectation yeah that would be would be, you know, that would make sense, hopefully. It got a lot of attention on the internet, and the guy was really hurt. So I imagine the black guy's going to go to prison for a long time. Hopefully. He shouldn't follow people home and beat them and their girlfriend up. We don't know what he did. He literally killed him.

And he broke her collarbone, and I forget what. She ripped or tore a muscle in her shoulder ligament. I don't know. We still don't know what he said though. That's my point. We don't. Maybe it was worthy of a near-death experience. I bet there's some shit you could say to Woody and he'd follow you home and he'd beat your face, break every bone

in your face and cripple your girlfriend too. Alright? We all know Woody's like, and those were crippling words. And those were firearm words. But if you take me for everything I'm worth, it's going to help. You got too much to lose

to be fucking around with someone after a bar. Yeah, that's fucked up. I haven't seen that clip, but it sounds abhorrent. It's a rough one. Yeah, I mostly watched the police activity stuff i like the shootings a lot uh i don't like seeing people get the shit kicked out of them when they're already out it is hard to watch isn't it i don't like that i feel like that should be used in court and it's like this person is clearly not capable of restraining themselves

lifetime in prison forever you can't be allowed to exist with the normal people. I'm sorry. Unless he's like, you know, a dad getting revenge for his sexually assaulted child or something. If that was the case, we'd know. Oh, that's not the case.

Because there was a story years ago where this fucking pervert in a trailer park was trying to talk to children. And apparently the dad of these kids, another big burly trailer park guy, had told him to get away multiple times. And this dude came back again and was flirting with the child in their side yard near the trailer. And the dad beat him almost to death. And the result was like, well well he molested your kid and was trying to you're not in trouble for this the same as that like airport we won't find you nine dollars

if you do it again yeah no we're giving you the key to the city for ridding this filth from the street or that guy who's the classic clip of the molester being marched through the airport and the guy's pretending to be on the phone and he just turns around and shoots him in the head. Why, Gary? Why, Gary? Doing that. And then they just let him go, as they should. As they should. Was it Texas by chance?

It was probably somewhere like that. I feel like Texas is better at that. I was in an airport. I plead had it coming i don't and they'd be like jury are any of you gonna fight back on this and they're like no no this is great we'd like to give him a sash it's a very good shot he made if you watch it he shot under his arm he he took the pistol and shot under the other arm like like there's it's not this where you're aiming and pointing. He sort of, like, fired in, like, a sneaky way

because he's pretending like he's having a phone call and one-tapped the guy from a good 12 feet maybe and then, like, drops the gun. It's so perfect that the cops escorting the scumbag know this guy by sight. And they can be like oh it's gary gary what are you ah damn it gary yeah you son of a gun get out of here you silly sorry sucker you need to go that's that guy was great gary was a real a real hero there

but it doesn't sound like this parking lot incident was a revenge for a child molestation sounds like no no people were fighting over like nah the jets suck the browns suck i talk about edp getting caught again by the way like again oh when dude recently and the guy that should that's when one of the to catch a predator guys they're mean now they're not like chris hansen they're you know they attack you now uh what was he dressed up as like he came to he's there being like we got you again edp you pedophile son of a bitch and he's dressed up as a cupcake i don't know if in the texts they had been like, you know, I'll bring you some cupcakes.

But the Catch a Predator guy is dressed up in a gigantic cupcake outfit, costume thing. And their EDP is again, caught with text messages, you know, being a fucking pedophile. Clearly.

EDP, man. A 13-year-old again? Yeah. Like the third third time he needs to just stop that's great you think is that all right hang on what he's going on record here boys what do you think cdp needs to stop i'm sorry i'm not always this stupid but maybe he gives that behavior two thumbs down let's circle back what would you say about a bit of chicken and broccoli that that's torped us all out

speaking of your chicken and broccoli they probably need to lock him up I love chicken and broccoli our boy someone sent me a clip of Blade recently he hasn't turned to the chicken and broccoli yet that's all I'm going to say Our boy, someone sent me a clip of Blade recently. He hasn't turned to the chicken and broccoli yet. That's all I'm going to say.

No, time does a job on all of us. He's aging. What, we haven't? Everybody ages. I love that take. Like when someone looks really bad, you're like, everyone gets older. Everyone. No one's escaped.

Woody, meanwhile, like 50, looks 10 years younger than he is. Yeah, he's in a rough spot. Jesus. He is. Hope he gets it under control. I figured out what was wrong with my toe. It's called a seed corn. Like a corn inside.

And I actually did the right thing. When I described how I removed it, Vavityity who has medical expertise you know was like oh i heard what you said he like wrote me this wrong message this whole basically said you did the wrong thing i can't believe you did that you're supposed to do this that and the other when i finally self-diagnosed as i always do and realized it was a seed corn because it definitely is like i narrowed it down uh i i google seed corn removal they did exactly what i did what i reasoned to be the right thing is the prescribed medical treatment what did you do you soak it in hot water and then you take a razor blade and you

shave the callus down because it's a it's a circular corn it's like a hole in the in a callus that and and there's this tough corn material inside that hole that's made of keratin and you so first you shave down the callus until it's exposed and then you literally dig it out and it's really tough and hard to get out very very painful getting i thought you were gonna say no i actually expected like yeah a solid a solid seven out of ten at points like like it's it's okay real painful uh and it's like sort of i wish i could describe the consistency you know how bubble gum when it's dry and you're pulling it apart it sort of tears and stretches yeah like three times tougher than that though like three times tougher than that though like three times tougher

than the toughest bubble gum and so like it's like ripping this corn apart when i'm thinking like i wish i had microscopic needle nose pliers so i could really just fucking grab this thing but i eventually like dug ever all of it out of there but it let it leaves like a hole there a lot of blood just pitch this no blood because you're not going below the actual. I'm left with this pink, healthy skin at the bottom of like a hole in the callus. Let me just. What if this was our reality? Because I think I'm pretty close.

For $125, you can go to a dermatologist. They'll look at it, diagnose it correctly. Right. And you probably did this also, but they definitely will get it right. And then they'll treat it on the spot with painkillers. You won't even feel it. They'll remove it so completely that we're confident it won't come back. And they'll give you some, you know, a little post-treatment care and a sheet on how to care for it yourself going forward it'll just be done you of all people should know that youtube has all that information

and all that i already took care of that woody i got a little it's like a uh um a uh a hemorrhoid pillow for your toe okay it's like a little circular thing yeah yeah that keeps you from putting any pressure on where the hole is. I got a whole bunch of those. Those slap on there. Keep it clean. Wear a sock. How long did it take to backfill to a normal level skin area?

It hasn't yet. It hasn't yet. It grew back this plug of keratin, which I then popped out. And I thought that was really cool. So then I had to re-clean it out again. So now, yeah, we're, you know. I went to the dermatologist yesterday.

Really painful. So painful. I have to go because I was a lifeguard. And every so often you get these scary looking dots that pop up on you. And so anyway, she does her whole thing. Inspects me from head to toe. There's one she doesn't like. She hits me with a needle.

It couldn't have hurt less. I wasn't, if you ask me what hurt more, the needle or the alcohol swab, I'm not sure. And then after that, you couldn't feel anything at all. It was totally instantly affected.

When she was removing the mole or whatever it was i wasn't sure she had started yet she had to tell me and now it wasn't on your body uh and like back of my rib cage under my arm behind my armpit like i know exactly yeah and uh um anyway so she pulled it off and now it's good to go they're going to biopsy it I'll get a proper diagnosis as to whether it was cancerous or not and this is just a nice way to handle healthcare I know YouTube's pretty cool

I mean it's a corn last time I got a mole removed it was not as nice I remember hurting a lot I remember the needle he maybe popped it three times with it's not Novocaine whatever I feel like Novocaine, whatever, because that's your,

I feel like Novocaine is specifically for your mouth. Lidocaine, maybe. Lidocaine? Some sort of local aesthetic. Yeah. That hurt every time he popped me. I was just like,

Jesus. Really? Maybe, where was it? Like, like right here, like sort of top of my ribs on my torso. And it was a big mold up. It was, yeah, like, like, like down below where like any musculature is just top of my ribs on my torso and it was a big mold up it was yeah like like like down below where

like any musculature is just top of the ribs but it really hurt he was like cutting that thing and i'm just like i could immediately feel the blood like running down because it's numbed up pretty good by the time he starts cutting although it did hurt a bit but but i could just feel the blood just pouring down my side as he started to cut into me. That one sucked. It was like four stitches. That is a huge mole. Four stitches?

Yeah. The mole itself didn't look that big. It was like an eraser. A lot of margins. Yeah, maybe so. He was very old and shaky. He took a shot before we started this is not to do with health stuff but i was at a friend's bachelor party in new orleans

uh over the past weekend and we were walking around uh it was pretty fun yeah we uh went on a little little swamp tour. I got to see a bunch of alligators. And I didn't know there would be so many raccoons out there. There's so many raccoons. Yeah. Was the nature of the bachelor party the, like, raunchy last day single thing or more like laser tag type thing?

It was both. Okay. Definitely both. Like, he wanted to, like, go on this gator tour really bad and honestly the gator tour was my favorite part of the whole thing we saw so many alligators because you can just feed them and so they just like all come right up to your boat they wouldn't let us feed them but the fucking uh cajun guy on the back of the boat was feeding them and then like we pulled into a little alcove thing and like 20

raccoons came up much smaller raccoons that were clearly eating like a real raccoon diet not like our trash raccoons who are getting like pizza slices and stuff and i just didn't expect like damn like raccoons in this environment are probably just getting fucked up by alligators all the time and like even when they like came over to look at the the boat and like look for food they're all like head on a swivel like just checking around everywhere but so that was cool that might be my favorite part but we were on bourbon street and we were walking around and i i sent you guys the picture of it because it made me laugh so hard i had to get a photo so like i guess if you like rent out certain places, you can be up on a balcony of a whole building or something and throw beads or whatever.

Pretty sure the Mardi Gras is like, the beads are like a Mardi Gras thing, not just an all the time thing there. And there were like an entire balcony of like three dozen Indian guys, all like throwing beads at women down. No one else on, I walked the entire way of Bourbon Street there and back.

Not one person had beads other than these Indian guys up there. And I could hear them being like, show me your titties. Show me your titties. You're down there. I throw your beads. Show me your titties.

And like my friends were already pretty wasted. So I had to like tell them to stop. I was like i need a photo of the indian guys up on this balcony it was so good it was incomprehensibly funny to me at the time i was also on did you make their dreams come true taylor i need to know no but a couple girls did oh really some they participated i i didn't even get to catch it because like i watched and i saw the beads coming down and then i turned around and then i like maybe 10 yards later heard like oh yes like that kind of like i am coming i am coming to hold on you right now from the titties you're showing me and it was funny just to imagine like is there a more awkward group of people than than the virgin indian man and like it was like

25 and wants to show him his fucking boobs and vagene these these guys yeah yeah like these guys were like easily like 40 mostly like late 30s early 40s like they were not kids like for that man it was way too late for that. But as a whole, yeah. Bourbon street smells not good. Uh, I didn't like that. I did not realize how many underage,

clearly underage people are just trashed. Really? Like I was walking into, like we went into a bar poking around, we'd go in and out looking around different places, kind of, kind of sightseeing. And like,

we were all waiting in line at the bar. I'm talking to my buddy. We're 32, 33, so not super old. But we're all like, there's no way that girl is older than 17 right there. These kids couldn't vote, much less drink. It was unreal. I thought they'd have a little bit of tact there, but no, they just don't.

Show me your moped license. Yeah, show me that. You don't even have high school graduation pictures yet. Are you sure you just don't know what a 21-year-old looks like anymore? No, I definitely do. Oh. And these girls were like 16, 17 some of them looked it was like i don't know if you could

have driven here is your dad here did your dad bring you dropped you off here one it was funny at the end of it one of my friends who has a daughter he was like dude i never thought i would be this guy but like and his his daughter's like a young baby. He's like, if my, yeah, like one or two. And he's like, if my daughter, you know, 17 years from now wants to go to Bourbon Street, I am shutting that right down. Like, if you're not getting any money, I'm shutting you, I'm pulling you out of, I'm not going to pay for your school anymore because my God, after after being here i would not let my little baby come here with these animals and no one drinks

for you dad that's yeah dude i was that same guy calm down it's hopes 24 now i think but um when she was headed to college i was like you know i'm paying for school I'm paying for your car I'm paying for your parking and for fucking sorority like everything do not even ask for spring break money the answer is no if you so much as express a desire to go to spring break we're pulling that other shit away

it's a no no it's a hard no you will get negative money you will have less than you would if you didn't ask I'll take what you have I know where you keep it like it's so funny like going from she clutches a years ago going from years ago where i'd be like god parents are lame and then now like seeing people say that i'm like well you have to you can't you can't allow them to be around these these people i'll be on their side so many times like i can you believe that it'll be like uh insane parents or something like that crazy

parent text or some shit some subreddit like can you believe they took my phone and like they're not gonna let me go to this and it's like yeah yeah that's that's that's probably that's a good idea it's a good idea for your own good any kind of guidance whatsoever is seen as just I don't know some child abuse I guess that's my favorite Sean Strickland line he talks about he's like

how his father abused him and was drunk he's like more people need to be like just beaten as a child and abused as a child more people need alcoholic beatings. He said, I just want to think childhood trauma

and repressed memories because that's what got me this belt. That's what I needed to get here. He already broke the belt. He's like, don't worry. I got this. And tapes up because you've got the big gold

octagon in the center and on the side there's two smaller badges of some kind that are gold as well one of them's like coming off i hope that piece of tape is in like every press appearance they won't allow that they don't allow that there's no. I don't disagree with you, but I still want it. Do they get their own belt? When they lose the belt, for real, they get to keep one, right? They get a new belt every time they win. An additional belt.

That's cool. One of the big wigs at UFC, Scott Coker, whatever his name is, was there when Sean was doing his press conference. He got that belt and started talking about how he can give a shit about it. He's like, how much does these cost in case I want to sell it? And they're like,

$1,700 on UFC.com and he's like, that's cheap as fuck. What a whore they make me. What a whore I am. $1,700? I should have just bought one. I went through all this work. And then Scott Coker goes, that's enough. All right, folks. Yeah, thank you to Sean Strickland, middleweight

champion of the world. He's great. Yeah, they give you a new belt every time. And I think I don't know how the flags work exactly. So the big centerpiece has flags around it. And I don't know if there's a new flag for every defeated opponent.

Like, i killed a brazilian freaking chinaman and australia you gotta collect them all or if it's every champion from that location kyle you seem to know what what i heard them say once and i've never seen a close-up to verify was that every title defense they put another gemstone on on your belt um and so you would have one belt that was like covered up with gemstones if you're like amanda nunez or something like that i would imagine but i've never seen a close-up of it like covered with emeralds or anything so i don't know i had a uh i had the opportunity to you know how on bachelor parties sometimes it's like multiple groups of friends of the person and so you like are meeting new so like my core group of friends with the guy they all knew about

me with with they'd seen me eat crab before and i made a big thing about like we're we're getting we're getting seafood at every meal if i have any say and like we went to this place that had like giant buckets of crab and i had to special order because it was like, Oh, you can get this and then crawfish and then, and then and Dewey sausage. And I was like, I want four orders of the crab. And also I want and Dewey sausage too. Cause I wanted that. And potatoes. And I, yeah, my friend who's keto, he was like, you can have my potatoes and my corn. And I'm like, we're in the mix now, and so like like they were leading up they're like you guys haven't seen taylor eat grab before it's like watching it's like watching someone like it's it's unreal and they were like ah and like i started eating it i like one guy was like this is unreal like

he was like this is unreal like he was like two legs in and i'm like you're breaking it the wrong way you go small side the long side so you pull the tendons out so you can get a better pull on your meat and he's like okay okay and then he'd like look down and like do that for a bit and he's like how are you how have you eaten how much did you get and i got i got four pounds four four pounds i thought you said four clusters no they come by the pounds i got four pounds and i i i finished my dinner at the same time as the rest of the group it was i was like the sunny thing like a mantis just just feasting like a mantis it was so much fun i love like that and the gator tour really the crab might edge it out like it was great because i got that extra spicy cajun seasoning all over it it was it was such a good evening i was so i i understand your love of

but but every time i'm the only thing i like when i'm by the gulf coast is that fucking amazing uh food and not specifically the crab but like all that all that like cajun shit like which i never had that i didn't know rice and beans i could eat so much of the rice and beans um with like like the all the shrimp like shrimp and grits all the fried green tomatoes i don't even know i always have that when i'm there i don't know if that's cajun or not i love fried green tomatoes with that i do too you dip it in remoulade sauce which sounds cajun so i, so I'm going to write that off as Cajun food. Yeah, the food there was incredible. Have you been to New Orleans before?

I haven't. No, I'd never gone. How far was it for you? Well, I'm from the Midwest, so me and a friend drove nine hours. No, eight and a half hours, which is not much. So it's not that close. Well, you've explained to us that Midwestwesterners like eat 10 hour drives for breakfast but same here like eight hours is what it takes for for me to get to florida so

traditionally anytime i felt like you want to go on vacation how about you feel like orlando everybody all right get in the car because it's eight hours away let's just go yeah it's not bad eight hours ain't bad you wake up mostly straight straight You're just sitting there chatting with friends It's 10 hours for me to go to Orlando And I consider it a Task It's a thing You know the area that was better than

4 hours is nothing to me 4 hours is nothing 5 hours is a serious commitment One of my favorite places To go dirt biking is 3.5 hours So that's my favorite places to go dirt biking is three and a half hours. That's seven in addition to the dirt biking itself. That's a lot of driving.

You got to get early for that stuff. If I ever went back there... We drove from Colorado to Raleigh? No, Utah to Raleigh without a break. Well, without a night. We just kept going. There were two drivers and we just kept going. When I was trying to throw the government off my trail Without a night. There were two drivers and we just kept going.

When I was trying to throw the government off my trail and go smoke weed with Chiz, I landed in Albuquerque, New Mexico and rented this convertible Mustang, real sweet Mustang, and then I drove it to Denver. So ABQ to Denver. Off the top of my head, maybe five, six, seven hours. No, cylinder. Six-cylinder, the Mustang. I think I got the four-cylinder. off the top of my head maybe five as a rental hours um no cylinder oh cylinder the mustang

no no i think i got i maybe he had the eco boost so maybe maybe that's what i had whatever i had was not the va and yet i was really impressed by how fast it was I that was kind of the highlight of the um the drive up there was me texting yeah but my car's got like 450 horsepower or something that car again was a four-cylinder or something and it felt fast it was moreover was a convertible which I let the top down and drove through the new mexico desert all the way up through the mountains of colorado so it was a really nice drive i like driving by myself i do it a lot yeah i was just calling out you're not coming from a toyota corolla and feel like it was really fast no he's coming from a camaro so if he says it's fast probably

yeah i was impressed by how fast and i bet it got good uh fuel mileage like way better than my shit way better than the v8 would well i know it's time to wrap i beat doom eternal congratulations during the process yeah like this fucking level oh dude so that there is a level there's a thing called a buff totem or something and i the monsters just kept spawning in and spawning in and spawning in and sometimes i'd be alive for like 45 60 minutes and it just it was like trying to beat nazi zombies like they just kept spawning in oh no and i'm like what the fuck like i i this is the best i can do and but it's never done right and i just kept going and i i gathered that i probably had to destroy this buff totem i dropped like 70 grenades on it

emptied my bazooka shot it with every gun i had and i'm like this fucking thing won't blow up i don't know i thought there's like a shield looking thing around it like just cosmetically so i'm like maybe i need to beat so many waves of bad guys before it's eligible to be broken it turns out it's one punch you punch it once 70 grenades have no impact your fucking bazooka empty it 16 times. No impact one punch and it's done. And I beat the level, but I didn't know. That's going to be frustrating.

You beat the game. You went, you went to heaven, jumped around and did all that crazy stuff. Came back, beat the giant mega monster. Have you played the DLC though? No.

Is it good? I found it to be even harder than the base game. Because I don't play on the hardest difficulty, but I play one level below that. And it was getting too hard for me. Can I interrupt? Yeah. There's six levels of difficulty, but there's kind of four. Because the top two are like insane, hurt me daddy, ultra nightmare, hurt me daddy.

When you say you're second from the top, are you five or three? I would have to see it to tell you. I just know that there's one level where I think if you die, the game's fucking over or something. I don't do that shit, so I just ignore that as a level because I feel like that's some sort of

bonus challenge shit. I think you've got to beat the game to even unlock it. I think that's the case. Whatever levels are available to've got to beat the game to even unlock it. I think that's the case. Whatever levels are available to you when you crack the game open, the one below the hardest one of that, that doesn't involve dying once in the game being fucking over, which I think is a thing.

Ultra Nightmare, I think, is like that. I've never done anything like that. The closest to that is I'm about to play Baldur's Gate on the hardest difficulty solo, with one character. It'll boulder's gate on the hardest difficulty solo like with one character and you so you it'll be four times harder than the hardest difficulty kind of but there's ways to you know play it differently because i'm obviously not going to just run out in the middle of the field against four times as many enemies i'm gonna get starfield again i played second from the

bottom the difficulty this is not the easiest one but one one above that. When I started, I was bad. I felt like I just wasn't moving well. If you don't know Doom listeners, there's a whole lot of jumping and flying through the air and hitting people on the move. And my movements were just poor. I kept getting myself stuck in corners to make a Nazi zombie comparison. And my aim was average at best best and my movement was clearly below average by the time i finished the game i think i advanced to average but i i didn't i watch people play on youtube like to get clues and stuff and i was like oh my so that's what you're supposed to be doing

you know i was about to say yeah when you see someone play a game, because some games, you just don't watch the footage because you don't care. It's not a spectating kind of game. But then when you see how it's actually played by good players, like, oh, that's nothing like what I'm doing. It's like learning how to use the paddle in the boat for the first time, and you've just been using your hands. You're like, you know, it's like, shit,

I've been using my hands the whole time. Give me that paddle. Okay. And all all of a sudden everything's a lot easier there's a shotgun with a meat hook so it turns a chain out and then it pulls you to the bad guy and then when you get there you hit him with your big punch it's called a i forget what it's called super punch of some sort and um so i was using it like that oh Oh, yeah. Come here, pal. Hit him. Then I watch an expert play. He's using this chain as a mode of transportation.

He's grabbing things in the air, sky hooking, flying across the map, rat-a-tat-tatting people before he lands. And I'm like, oh, we're hardly playing the same game. I thought I was supposed to go to the monster. You're using it to fly? People barely touch the ground. I try to barely touch the ground. I never stop moving. And I try to get into a groove with the music because that helps me.

Because the music is always so good. It's like... And I'm just like... It's very high energy. So the the beats like every three quarters of a second so i'm like changing i'm like fucking space bar change weapons every single fucking time like just machine gun rocket launcher fucking laser beam gun fucking snipe you over there it's you get into a groove especially if i'm getting stoned it's such a it feels good when you slide in punch a thing and it breaks snipe a guy way the fuck away machine gun the all these little things close to you flamethrower that guy to get the

combo chainsaw him in half more ammo rocket launcher locked onto all of you and then you just keep going and back to the machine gun but this time i'm going to lock on and and you just keep this flow going where you never stop moving and you never stop shooting and they never stop dying it's really satisfying cows right and and another gap between me and a great player is the way they change weapons so i would hold a weapon and pretty much use it until it ran out of ammo then maybe switch weapons because i don't have that ammo towards the end i got better at this but what good players do is they like they use the weapon and then like they say the double barrel shotgun every time you fire it it sort of cracks open he puts in shells and then it's ready again they don't wait for that they shoot it and change weapons and then when they bring it out again it's

been reloaded magically so they're like never waiting for the reload there's one thing that's kind of like a crossbow but it shoots a laser beam and same sort of deal it takes a second to reload top players never watch it reload i'm caught i'm like all right now i have to manage to like evade for a second and a half three seconds these guys don't evade they just break out something different and shoot with that yeah yeah and it's um the dlc is real fun it is harder um but you know it's more it's more good fucking shit you know it's a fun game i love that game uh it's good and it gotta be a little starfield is gonna be a big deal i think it's it's i saw people mad about the pronouns but it's like dude they're just giving you fucking options

you know like as long as the quests are fun, I don't give a shit. Yeah, I don't give a shit. It's a role-playing game. But if it falls into a Skyrim-style rinse and repeat, hopefully there's a little more variety. It's going to be Fallout in space, 100%. I haven't looked into it, but I promise you, if it's out yet...

No, it's out. Yeah, yeah. I just haven't played it yet. I haven't played it because I'm still just absorbed in Baldur's Gate and loving it so much I'm on my second playthrough and I'm modding it now too which is just a blast there's a really

sexy blue chick that I've been wanting to fuck but she's evil but if you do evil things for her in the beginning of the game she realizes the error of her ways later on. And yet, all those people are still dead. I wanted to avoid that, so I made a mod

where I just knock her out, put her in a box, she wakes up when we get to the second act of the game, now she's my buddy, now we get 69. I'm glad you're really exploring. Can't wait to eat that pussy. I...

I wish you the best. I wish you the best. I wish her the best, too. All right. P.K. I'm sorry. P.K. N. 473.

Rep. Yeah. All right.