Painkiller Already - PKN 489

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 PKN 49, how you guys doing? Happy New Year. Happy New Year to all. Did you guys do anything fun? Oh, absolutely. I slept straight through it. And my girlfriend woke me up to kiss me New Year. And I think it was like 1230 in the morning or something.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Happy New Year. Good night. I'm turning my dad in that regard. I remember as a kid, me and my mom and my sister would stay up you know to watch the ball drop watch the festivities whatever dick clark or whoever was on tv was doing uh and uh mom would uh get like a small bottle of champagne we'd even as kids we'd have a glass and we'd always be like daddy daddy stay up with us the ball's gonna drop isn't it in atlanta we drop the peach've got a big, giant peach that we drop.
Starting point is 00:00:46 You guys keep going back to that well. It's an acorn here in the city. It's what we do. You're not going to pick on the acorn? Okay. All right. I've never heard about if everything they talked about in North Carolina was acorn related. I'd be like, settle down with the acorns.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Touche. He's got you there, Kyle. The peach bowl. The peach extravag, he's got you there, Kyle. The Peach Bowl. The Peach Extravagant. I bet you guys have a World Peach. This is our Peach Water Tower. You have like a Peach Fair. The World Peach Fair. We have a Peach Everything you can put after that.
Starting point is 00:01:17 If you use everything. Peach Everything. We have Peach Coke here. It's delicious. Peaches are good. I shouldn't riff on Peaches. I was just thinking Peach Coke. And Georgia Peach is the best in the coke here. It's delicious. Peaches are good. I shouldn't rip on peaches. I was just thinking peach coke. And Georgia peaches are the best in the world.
Starting point is 00:01:26 I don't know. I've heard that Florida peaches and Alabama peaches are where it's at. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It might be New Zealand peaches, actually, but I think it's... No, Woody, back me up here. It's Alabama. Actually, specifically Tuscaloosa, Alabama peaches. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Dude, even the South Carolinians or Georgia peaches are overrated. It's Talladega where they have the good ones. They keep them on these trees just on the other side of the chain link so we can look at them every day. Listen with due. But yeah, my dad would never take part in New Year's. He's like, who fucking cares?
Starting point is 00:02:00 Tomorrow's another day. Oh, what's different this year? What's going to be different in 1998, guys? He's got work tomorrow. Yeah, it's oh what what what's different this year what's going to be different in 1998 guys well i don't know tomorrow yeah he's he's going to like check on the chickens in the morning or some shit so he never cared and now i never i don't care i couldn't care less um i might watch it because may this is morbid to say kind of awful to say but i always wondered why if you were a terrorist terrorist group like man, man, that's the time. Like, not only do you have this big global timer that everybody's looking at and like
Starting point is 00:02:30 counting down for you and stuff like all the eyes are on these these points around the world where it's celebrated huge crowds and everything festivities. And it seems to be by and large a Western thing. I don't I don't see big crowds of arabs you know celebrating it uh but that's probably because the israelis keep them dispersed these days and the chinese they have a whole different time so of course they're not oh yeah they're in a whole different uh calendar over there yeah i never thought of it as a western thing so much so that when kyle said it i didn't even process it correctly i'm like that, that fool, it's a big deal in Paris.
Starting point is 00:03:06 As it says. Yes! Paris! The East! The East and Dominion! They just don't show you the African celebrations. Maybe they're not big on it there. Maybe there's an African New Year. They don't know it's a New Year.
Starting point is 00:03:22 They don't know what year is there. I always go back to that because it's so new year. They don't know what year is there. They can't keep... I always go back to that because it's so racist and awful. That episode from the West Wing when they explain why we will not send our AIDS drugs to those African countries for free. They make the drug companies sit across the table
Starting point is 00:03:37 from the president of the impoverished African nation and look him in the eye and tell him why they won't give him the drug. Sir, our drugs need to be taken every four hours around the clock. And the African king looks down in shame and all of a sudden Toby Ziegler and all of the White House
Starting point is 00:03:53 Jews are like, what's the problem? Why can't we just give him all the free stuff? And they're like, Africans can't read time. And the king's like, yes, it is true. My people cannot read time. And it's this real sad moment where we all just put our hands up and go well guess they'll all die well that's not good because a lot of our treatments are time contingent that's time such a big part of it yeah like you get multiple
Starting point is 00:04:17 pills per day like only hours you get and i know africa is a fucking continent and there's plenty of people there were watches and shit but i but in but in his make believe impoverished Congolese, are there though? Are they wearing watches in Africa? I don't know. South Africa. So I have iPhones. So do they have like Georgia 2024 college football champion commemorative
Starting point is 00:04:37 watches? I mean, that's a reality that I would move to. That's the, that's the real reality. Did you watch any of the games yesterday? I watched all of them. Yeah, I watched the entire Alabama-Michigan game.
Starting point is 00:04:53 It's a good game. My God, both of them looked so much worse than Texas and Washington later in the night, especially Washington. Everybody's been kind of pooping on Washington. They're like the worst of the four remaining, even if they're the second seed. Their quarterback was incredible. They all looked on point. They really gave it to Texas towards the end of it.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Let me ask you this, Taylor. Do you feel like you can tell the difference? An analogy. I watch a lot of MMA. In grappling, I feel like I can tell who's good and who's bad but striking if you take a medium medium striker and put them against a terrible striker i'm like that medium guy striker is pretty good isn't he like he looks really good so that's true if you take alabama and who they be who they lose to, Michigan? Michigan, yeah. And they both look bad.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Or do they both have good defenses? I know what you mean, but they looked bad. There were so many unforced errors from Alabama and Michigan that the commentators multiple times throughout it were like, man, Alabama doing everything they can to gift this game to Michigan. And then eight minutes later, it'd be like Michigan refuses to take the gift from Alabama and offers one of their own. It wasn't like Michigan's hard count is drawing these guys off line, offside. Both teams, there were times during that game that I'm like,
Starting point is 00:06:27 dude, if Mizzou was in this game playing well, it would be a fucking real game. But then again, that's because I knew Alabama and Michigan are playing badly. They're both better teams than Mizzou. Mizzou would have to be playing decently well. The Alabama center, I don't know if the Alabama center is going to be allowed in the state of Alabama again. One out of four snaps was so incredibly low I don't know if the Alabama Center is going to be allowed in the state of Alabama again. Like one out of four snaps was so incredibly low that the Alabama quarterback was having to like dip over to pick it up.
Starting point is 00:06:53 And it was throwing him off. They were missed snaps. The Michigan special teams guys, it like the Alabama Center and the Michigan special teams guys all had money on the other team because every Michigan kicker fucking just misses like perfect perfect kick return opportunity for the Michigan special teams the guy catches it like I would like like just misses it drops it almost gets a safety gets it gets it at the one like it was a comedy of errors game you know um at fun statistic uh the Georgia's punter for the year you know all the games they played this game you know um a fun statistic uh the georgia's punter for the year you know all the games they played this year do you know how many what the total return yards against him are it's like it's like negative something really it's a year uh it's i'm so
Starting point is 00:07:39 glad they're opening the thing up next year so so then one law first of, when Bama lost to Texas early in the year, it shouldn't have mattered that they beat Georgia. Knock Georgia out if you want, but I don't think that means Alabama goes in. If Georgia doesn't go in, then why does Alabama go in because they beat Georgia? Oh, because Georgia was so good.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Are they not anymore? Would they kill a couple Georgia players? What happened? Four is the wrong number. It's the wrong number. Four is the wrong number. It's the wrong number. Four is the wrong number. It's better than the old system where the media just chooses the team and then the coaches choose another team and there's no official champion. That's stupid, stupid.
Starting point is 00:08:16 This is just stupid. And what's even better, I'm really glad that FSU decided to be absolute scumbags and just take their ball we're gonna take our ball and go home yeah they put their practice squad in there what i would do if i had any if if whoever has the power to do this they should oh we noticed that
Starting point is 00:08:37 you only sent 42 of your starting team so we're only going to actually give you 42 of the money that your team gets for playing in the Orange Bowl. Because it's millions of dollars. That's why you go to a bowl. Going to a bowl game means you get a big chunk of money. I don't know if it's just show money, if there's any
Starting point is 00:08:57 win money to bring it into MMA. If you win the Orange Bowl, do you get a bonus? I don't know about that. But they definitely get a huge amount of money just for qualifying for the thing. 25-2. It was real frustrating. I don't care who won or lost. It looked like a boring game from the outside looking in.
Starting point is 00:09:15 I was watching TV or something else, I think. I think you guys scored. Were you up 43-0 by halftime? Yeah. Dude, then Georgia started putting in players who had not seen the field the entire year, and the starters were on Instagram Live. They weren't even eating wings.
Starting point is 00:09:31 They were Instagram Living their experience on the... It's like, oh, all five of these guys are sitting out right now? That's nothing. You should have seen what Florida State did. They did that in the first quarter. They did, and that was very lame of them. Yeah. What they would have done like if they would have by some miracle beaten georgia i don't think a full fsu team is going to beat a full georgia team
Starting point is 00:09:55 because georgia played pretty hard that first half and got 50 points and then georgia was like okay we don't care anymore either throw in the practice guys throw in the guys with the cleanest cleats and uniforms you've ever seen in the last game of a year if florida state had had a close game with georgia then the narrative would be like look at how absurd it is that florida was left out man it's almost as though fsu and georgia was the real championship here look at georgia look at FSU they were incredible but they got if the score had been 50 to 48 or something we'd have all been like man what the fuck was that boring game with all the errors and and the Rose Bowl like you know yeah 100 and it looked to me like that's what Georgia showed up to do I read somewhere and I
Starting point is 00:10:40 don't know what they're basing this on probably just someone's fucking opinion but it was like Georgia came out to embarrass FSU. Clearly. That's one thing I like about our coach. He piles it on. He really piles it on at times. Dude, if he would have left the starters in, he could have hit 100.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Yeah. He could have scored a couple more times for sure. That's pretty cool. I look forward to next year having the bigger field and not worrying if you drop a game in the third week to an Auburn or somebody like that, like a tough top 10 opponent. Well, let's not play the next 10 weeks because we just lost one. Like, I don't know. I like that better. That's pretty lame.
Starting point is 00:11:18 And then it's college. So I guess like that's what makes it fun. Anything can happen. Like you could tell how fucking nervous so many michigan and alabama players were where you're like this really isn't like the pros like this snapper for alabama probably is so fucking nervous because he's a 21 year old playing in the rose bowl that he's just he just can't fucking snap the ball and all these kickers for michigan who had been hitting dingers all season and these like specialists return guys they just fumbling
Starting point is 00:11:45 dropping like big stage nerve-wracking so i'm i'm sure that washington will be the underdog against michigan and so i don't really care but i'll probably i'm gonna watch it i'll pull for the underdog yeah i don't know i don't know who i don't know how they'll uh how they'll do that you know figure out that line if the same team shows up in the championship game, Washington's going to win. I just don't care. Their quarterback looked really good. It was fun to watch.
Starting point is 00:12:12 I had never spent a whole day in my life before just being like, I'm just going to watch football all day. I watched football for like 12 hours yesterday. The first game started at 11, and I was just like, I'll just keep it rolling. These are pretty entertaining. These are pretty good. MMA has days like that. There's days where they have the early prelims at 4.30
Starting point is 00:12:30 p.m., and you'll sit down at 4.30 p.m. and watch two guys who, God, they just stumbled in from an alley somewhere. Is that June? I believe so. Maybe the end of June? But we've got another event soon, obviously.
Starting point is 00:12:47 The events leading up to 300, what it looks like is as they were trying to make 300 big, they're like, what? All right, well, you don't fit in 300. You're a great fight, though. Let's put you 298, 299. Like those are both really strong cards. The Strickland card looks like one of the shittiest cards I can recall. Outside of Strickland.
Starting point is 00:13:06 I'll need to look at it. Yeah, so I'm interested in Strickland card looks like one of the shittiest cards I can recall. Outside of Strickland. I'll need to look at it. Yeah, so I'm interested in Strickland. He's morphed to a figure everyone loves to hate because he talks. Only you. What? No. You have not been on the internet lately. I have. He is getting shit on constantly.
Starting point is 00:13:19 You don't understand, Kyle. There's three threads on a subreddit. They hate him. Everyone in the world. Dude, every fucking person has negative things to say about Strickland. He can't find a friend on the internet for whatever that's worth. I'm here, Strickland.
Starting point is 00:13:32 I can see. You stand alone with Strickland. What he did is he talked tons of trash about people's wives. I was going to say kids, but I think I'm making that up. About people's wives, about people's families and all
Starting point is 00:13:46 this. And then some guy talked about his next opponent, talked shit about his dad because he used to hit him as a kid. And now he's like, you really should talk about people's families. He's bawling on Theo Vaughn's podcast, tears. You can't get words out. He's crying about his parents hitting him
Starting point is 00:14:01 because he's a bitch unlike me. I'm a man. I hold my chin man. I don't give a fuck. Is that really how you put it? Yeah, we don't have professional fighters parents. Yeah. He was getting teed up. He was crying about his abusive alcoholic father who beat him for years and years and would come in his room and beat him with his fist. Who?
Starting point is 00:14:25 I've seen you cry on the internet over that dog. and would come in his room and beat him with his fist. Boo-hoo. I've seen you cry on the internet over that dog. We didn't go boo-hoo. We knew you were feeling emotions. Well, that's serious. I don't think it's cool to make fun of people's dogs, okay? I really appreciate it. Look, he's definitely a hypocrite, you know, because he says bad things about people all the time.
Starting point is 00:14:43 You can't be in a glass house if you're going to be the number one shit talker on the internet um but i guarantee his reaction when people give him shit is like yeah i cried like a bitch man you know i'm gonna start taking it up the ass too you saw my tesla right like that's what he's gonna say that's what he said it'd be a good look uh it's so far that's what he's he already said it he said. It'd be a good look. It's so far. He already said it. He said it before that audio came out. He's saying a whole lot of people shouldn't make fun of people's families. That's what he's saying now. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:15:15 You always do this. He says they shouldn't talk about child abuse and people's children. No, no. He literally said families. I didn't change it. He may have said the word families. I didn't hear him say that it's in text i don't know i don't have the fucking meme in front of me but what he did as far as going after people's families obviously uh he gave um ian gary a hard time because his wife's like you know there's like a cucking him meme and
Starting point is 00:15:41 controlling him meme that whole thing that's not going anywhere um but and um sugar sean o'malley he and his wife seem to have an open marriage so yeah he's he watches his wife get fucked by other men so so and he fucks other women it's an open marriage tell the whole story and uh he's like raising your hand who hears fuck sugar sean's wife like in front of a crowd uh did he uh so i that's are you sure because i saw colby say who's fucked ian gary's wife at the last now i'm not sure anymore so i might have fucked that up yeah yeah but um uh in any case take a point from what he's said no i'm keeping track i'm keeping no i agree i have no knowledge i agree with you in essence that that what he's doing is hypocritical however i think that kyle lost a point earlier on the family thing i started with more points than you though it's
Starting point is 00:16:40 it's a dnd thing my character all right. It's zeroes now. Love, love. It's definitely hypocritical. But I think that him crying about his dad abusing him is one of the few genuine moments that we've ever gotten from him. And so that's why I feel a certain
Starting point is 00:17:00 way about that. They're just like, this is real. He's not going on the theo von podcast and and sobbing um and be and like to get more views or to get more like pay-per-views or something like a thing just happened and he got emotionally caught up um the other stuff he does is to promote fights like when he attacked duplessi at the fight the other day that wasn't real like i wouldn't say it normally, but like,
Starting point is 00:17:25 just for the sake of this conversation, like when I see someone out there doing a character or having a bit, you know, kind of way, the way I used to with FBS Russia, I'm like, Oh, look at that thing.
Starting point is 00:17:36 He attacked him. That's a real fight right there. That's how hard he is. He attacked him in a crowd. And I'm in my head. I'm like, yeah, everybody believed that.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Cause that's, that makes a better story. It was real. here's why i think it was real uh duplessi is that his name ddp yeah um he was like yeah i told him like come fight me you bitch you won't do it i deserve what i got they planned it before um they had set it up like before the whole thing started wait get out of them planned it i thought he had set it up before the whole thing started. Wait, get out. Both of them planned it? I thought he had beef with Diamond Dallas Page. You can't have one professional athlete doesn't attack another professional athlete six feet between them, and everybody walks away without a scratch unless we're doing some WWE promotion. As soon as the camera is on us, he told the children to move out of the way.
Starting point is 00:18:20 He had warned Gilbert Burns before, like an hour or two before like hey uh oh shit you guys are sitting behind me tonight so might be some stuff going down you know might might uh might be some stuff going down i'll give you i'll give you i'll give you the heads up for for anything happens though you know and and and gilbert burns is like he has he told me you know the things could go down gilbert doesn't know he's blowing his spot he told me you know something go down you you know you'll be ready i let you know me, you know, something go down, you know, you'll be ready. I let you know. And he's old enough. Something go down. He tells the chicas,
Starting point is 00:18:49 chicas, come on! Now he's fake. I don't know. Now he's a promoter. That's what I want. They're all fake, Woody. Every one of them. Do you want a genuine guy who's up there like, I'm here to fight you. I liked him until this thing where he was
Starting point is 00:19:05 like bitch made because he's supposed to be this like i don't know dish it out trash talker type guy and now he's there should be guidelines around this we shouldn't talk about family it's like dude you talk about family every fucking time you hit the mic and is it just he's just doing this to de plessi de pessi whatever you said his name was so what happened was du plessi and sean strickland are about to fight and so in the trash talk for that fight du plessi made fun of the fact that sean had been abused as a child at the press conference uh-huh what did he say exactly that he was gonna oh like you know like he's gonna think of his dad when he takes the beating or something do you remember it's like something about when your dad used to come in your room at night that terror you would
Starting point is 00:19:47 feel how little you would feel when he'd abuse you like like you know he's gonna be being pretty mean about it um but i don't like strickland's fighting oh he's a defense first point fighter and uh he's really hard to hit but it's not the kind of fight i like to watch like he doesn't have any grappling and he's striking his defense first it's really hard to hurt him okay i'm not saying like having bad fighter i'm just saying he's not a entertaining fighter white americans who know how to use a microphone are my favorite fighters in the world um followed closely by white australians canadians and englishmen who know how to use the microphone as well yeah you just need someone on the mic i'm not on the white thing but i'm like i've got
Starting point is 00:20:31 names in my head i'm not just like volkanovski bisping um um fucking george st pierre like i'm looking at you guys you're the goats yeah ireland's you know i hate ireland though well it does seem like this was a bad move for Strickland. Maybe you can convince me otherwise, Kyle. Because, like, it undoes... His Google Trending was way up today. His Google Trends were, like, huge a few months ago when he first had that thing,
Starting point is 00:20:55 and then they've been vowing out for a while. His Google Trends? His Google Trends. Trends. Oh, I'm sorry. He doesn't want to change the lore surrounding himself. You know, and so you wouldn't want that kind of emotional response, I would guess. It came across as weak. I believe it's going to be sincere. Please don't talk about my family.
Starting point is 00:21:13 It's a sensitive spot for me. I'm paraphrasing on this. I agree. It doesn't seem consistent with the character I know him as. And I don't know much. I don't think it's part of the... See, that's what I'm saying what I'm saying is like up until now
Starting point is 00:21:27 you've gotten kind of his like wild silly fun guy and then like somebody said something that genuinely hurt his feelings that's real and now you're getting like the real him that cries when you talk about like him being abused as a child I don't know I didn't get abused as a child I better cry too if I did though and that sounds awful
Starting point is 00:21:44 if a lot of people are what's like i know like reddit i guess what he's saying they don't like it is anyone coming out and being like oh this is an interesting new side of strickland i kind of hope we see a little more sincerity not just the character there's not it's kind of hard to defend him because the glass house situation like that that's kind of where people are i would say uh it like the the majority of people like fucking glass houses bro what do you mean you can't say that now because that's the problem that i have with it is that he's you know he would say that anything's off limits after he's kind of went after everything and he said pretty horrific things and i like his
Starting point is 00:22:17 horrific things he said something about there was a ufc fighter who got hit by a bus like he's walking down the street and got hit by a bus and killed i think and uh sean stricken's like i heard about this and i was like couldn't dodge a bus what are you doing in the ufc then not gonna be much of a fighter see that's funny like that's good but like you can if you're gonna be bombastic like that and have that be part of your character you can't you can't cry foul when someone responds in kind yeah even if it is even if it is sincere and if it's sincere it's almost different than crying foul but because he's like not pretending to but it does look like from the quote that he's like i'm not talking about this stuff leave that stuff out of your out of your points and it's like well come on you do it there's an mma fighter who
Starting point is 00:23:01 was hot and uh i think she got killed in some way i don't know how but um she wasn't a ufc level fighter and everyone is mourning her in the same way that like everyone holds a door for really hot chicks even though they're 27 feet away they're giving her like extra mourning closed anyway he's like she wasn't even that good you guys are only giving your shit because she was hot and to be honest i i like that but it's the glass house thing that's not as good and and kyle was like oh this is a genuine moment heck i believe the other side was genuine too it just he's a genuine hypocrite who can dish it out and not take it yeah you gotta if you're gonna make your bones on the fight promotion part of it you gotta you know take your
Starting point is 00:23:45 licks in that same way and see it also and see it through the same lens that you would see yourself where he i'm sure in his own head he's like i don't give a shit about this guy getting hit by a bus that sucks he got hit by a bus that's sad the whole life taken away but oh this fucking idiot couldn't avoid a bus huh like i'm sure this dude who's fighting is also like ah man it seems like strickland got pieced up as a kid beaten up constantly by abusive parents that's no good but i like to play the professional fighter here's here we go like this is like half of the game in professional fighting is building up a fan base and being uh combative well not just you know physically combative verbally combative what the main thing is telling a story about why we are fighting because i do not care about
Starting point is 00:24:31 punches and kicks i don't not even a little not even a little i'll say youtube constantly putting on these free mma events all of every level of expertise there's like backyard shit i'll see live streams up uh where they've got like just a crowd of people hollering around it and then i'll see like one you know like and the amazon like owned uh shit and it's like these guys are one notch below ufc mate some of them are better i'm probably and it'll be like i don't care i don't care you don't have the polish you don't have the story when i want to see duplessi and and Strickland fight because Du Plessis is trying to be the real African champion because he's from South Africa. He's this big white dude who's just was shitting on the former black African champion.
Starting point is 00:25:15 But, you know, I love that guy. And I like Strickland, too, because he's like an American redneck who likes guns and talk shit. It's perfect. He's like our guy. He really is. He's as close to our guy as you're ever going to see. And it kind of sucks that they even have to fight each other and one of them has to win because then one of them is going to have to fight Izzy. Izzy's coming right back to fight whoever wins this fight.
Starting point is 00:25:35 They should not do it against Strickland again because that fight was not very exciting. No? I mean, it was just Strickland like strickland controlled the whole thing at no point was i was watching with buddies on like a bachelor party and they're all way more into it than me and they're like strickland's beating the shit out of him i'm like yeah i guess that was thanos getting beat up nobody in my household was sad no no no one was sad everyone was excited to see the underdog win but dog
Starting point is 00:26:06 fucker i don't like it it's a defense first point fighter against a counter striker i mean this is leading to what i consider the most boring style matchup you can do that again then like what's the other guy is the african guy not defensive very aggressive he's a counter striker so he wants you to throw and then he'll dodge it and come back over the line. All three of these guys? Oh, I'm sorry. I was counting the African guys, the Nigerian guy. To get to where he is to earn this shot,
Starting point is 00:26:35 took out Sean... Robert Whitaker. Robert Whitaker. I think he's Kiwi or Australian. But he was like the guy. He's one of them. He's one of those guys where in multiple divisions, you're like, all right, this guy's the second best in the world.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Max Holloway is that guy for 145. All right, so you're the second best in the world. You cannot beat the champion because you fought him three times now and lost. But no one can touch you. No one can beat Max Holloway. They haven't yet. i mean not in his weight class obviously he stepped up to 155 and lost one um lots of cool fights coming up gaichi's gonna fight uh islam uh i yes i'm sure i'm sure that we'll put that together i thought gaichi
Starting point is 00:27:19 gave uh i thought it was official am i crazy i might I might be crazy. I also think they're fighting. It's just what, it's all points are leading there. It feels like, and I look into, I'm interested to see what Gaethje will look like. I know against Khabib, I've heard Khabib talking about this the other day,
Starting point is 00:27:36 how he taught, he had been in Abu Dhabi or wherever they fought that time on, on Yaz Island. He's like, I've been there for months, you know, getting ready, getting used to that climate and that time zone. He's like, I've been there for months. Getting used to that climate
Starting point is 00:27:45 and that time zone. He's like, he'd show up one week. One week? Not enough. I tell him, one week. We get 80% of Justin Gaethje. No problem. That's such horse shit. I hate that. I know that Khabib spent his
Starting point is 00:28:01 time in the most fabulous junior castle that those people would give him. And then Justin Gaethje shows up on a Delta flight with a mask on and they usher him into a Holiday Inn somewhere to get ready. Gaethje's fun. Gaethje I like. He's a real honest
Starting point is 00:28:18 fighter. His coach is one of the coolest guys in all of MMA. He hits fucking hard. He's's hitting 155 he has a wrestling background and uh he never uses it never uses it i guess he's hard to take down probably because of his wrestling background but all he does is throw punches and kicks at 120 that's all he i have seen his own coach be like bro are you trying to kill him take 10 off you're trying to kill him you're hitting this guy too hard it was tony ferguson
Starting point is 00:28:53 fight i'm talking about maybe you remember yeah but like dude the ferguson fight um it was during covid so there were no crowds and you could just hear the punches and kicks land in a way that felt like unkind almost. Like, bro, you're already winning this fight. Do you have to hit him that hard? And then when his coach was like, back it off a little bit. You're hitting him too hard.
Starting point is 00:29:17 It was like, good God. I like watching Gaethje fight. I don't think he's going to beat Islam Makachev or do I think he'll going to be... I don't think he's going to beat Makachov, Islam Makachov, or do I think he'll be a favorite? But I hope for it. I would guess he's going to be like a
Starting point is 00:29:32 275, like two and three quarters to one dog. Maybe even a three to one dog. But my money is on Justin Gaethje because he is the hardest hitting 155 in the world he's not volkanovski he's not three feet tall he's a big boy um he does have that defensive wrestling we haven't seen uh i don't remember the last time we saw islam's wrestling really get tested i mean
Starting point is 00:29:59 he takes everybody down obviously but he's only he's like the modern khabib now right like sure whenever he wants to take a guy down and hold him there he does but now he's only he's like the modern khabib now right like sure whenever he wants to take a guy down and hold him there he does but now he's going to go against the guy who's really defensive wrestling and dynamite in his hands how many dangerous takedowns you're going to attempt on this guy i want to see why do you never see anybody uh like like i don't like like throw a knee like the masvidal knee, right? Like you did on Ben Askren? Yeah, but defensively almost. When they come in for that shot, why aren't they just
Starting point is 00:30:28 like, pow! Turning their hips and hitting them with that knee. I don't know. No one's ever shot on me. I'm certainly not a fucking professional athlete, so I bet it's harder than I imagined. Just press the B button! No! No!
Starting point is 00:30:43 You gotta time it right, you noob. Wait till he flashes. It's all or nothing though, right? Lots of good fights coming up though. I'm really looking forward to 2024. Conor's coming back. Conor's going to beat Chandler. Conor's going to beat Chandler,
Starting point is 00:30:59 and then they're going to give him a fucking title shot at whatever weight he wants. At 170, whoever it's easiest at. Wherever it's easiest for him to fight a champion it's where he'll go if uh if leon edwards is still there he might go fight somebody like leon edwards uh if sean strickland was still there that is the fight that is the fight conor mcgregor sean strickland i mean you'd pick him but you also wouldn't be like he's gonna destroy connor it's like no but you also wouldn't be like, he's going to destroy Connors. No, Connors is going to hang around in here. He's going to get
Starting point is 00:31:27 a couple of chances to land that big left and maybe he puts Strickland on his ass and wins a round that way. I'm sorry to cut you off. Strickland has the Philly shell defense. If you guys aren't familiar with it, I'm getting my left and right fucked up, but he hides his
Starting point is 00:31:43 chin behind his shoulder and then he's got his big hand back here and he just parries, parries, parries but he doesn't have to keep this hand to protect his face all the time because he's got his shoulder there and he parries this guy and comes over the top with the left. But when the other guy's a southpaw, does that just fucking
Starting point is 00:32:00 break your shell and not work anymore? I feel like they all can't they all just switch stances at this point? You know what I mean? Like really shell both ways. Why not? Why can't you fight in both stances? So, yeah, I look forward to seeing Connor.
Starting point is 00:32:13 I always do. He's the biggest draw on the sport. Oh, he still is. I think he's got at least one more run in him. Not run of wins, mind you. But like, dude, if they did one of those big press tours and they got him out there there's the big fucking like the fancy robe and he's dancing around talking about how his legs are made of titanium like fucking x-men and shit i don't know man i can i'll i'll
Starting point is 00:32:36 drink that connor juice again and i'll get on board i like the show i'm all about the show the kicks and fights or the kicks and punch punch. Sometimes I wish they didn't fight. When a fight gets called off, I'm like, good, nobody gets dirtied up. We both talk mad shit, but then the teacher showed up, so everybody still looks good. You know what I mean? You're supposed to love Khabib versus Ferguson. We'd be going at it right now.
Starting point is 00:33:01 I'm still edging for Khabib and Ferguson because they're both still fucking alive and the crazier and more desperate that Tony gets the more likely it is that he just goes to Dagestan at some point and shows up and Dojo challenges him I saw I saw Tony
Starting point is 00:33:18 of course, I saw Tony he was, brother, come, let's have tea, have tea brother, no fight that's what would happen Khabib. I saw Tony for he was brother. Come let's have tea. Have tea brother. No fight. Like that's what would happen. Probably would. I saw the footage of Khabib retiring after he beat Gaethje and but it's in Tony Ferguson's household.
Starting point is 00:33:36 It's his reaction to Khabib retiring and he is so upset. He is distraught. He is cursing. He's covering his head and he has to leave the room it's like his dream just died like it really sucked uh just i feel so bad for that guy that's that's wouldn't it be great if we lived in an alternative universe where tony ferguson continued on his six or seven fight lose streak calling for a title shot again and again like
Starting point is 00:34:06 someone needs to take that guy and get him out of his own way every time you guys talk about him you're like he's a really good fighter and then two episodes later it's like he got his ass kicked i think he was overrated i think he was considered good for a long time. And that the Khabib getting hurt extended how long people thought he was good. Because he'd be scheduled to fight Khabib. And then they'd swap him out with a last minute replacement. And he might beat that guy. And where the opposite happened. He's scheduled to fight Khabib.
Starting point is 00:34:41 And then Ferguson pulls out. And Khabib fights some other guy. And usually the last minute replacements are downgrade from the big hype fight sure so could be and well could be never lost but ferguson his star shined longer than it would have had he been exposed he won 12 in a row against some pretty decent competition i always say if you look at khabib's competition it's a bunch of meat cans and who the fuck are you's like his latest run when he went like Michael Johnson
Starting point is 00:35:08 he's had like two or three wins like total like Connor Poirier, Gaethje after that remember who he won the belt from Alachinta I'm messing up his name Al Iaquinta you know what he does for a living Taylor
Starting point is 00:35:23 is he not a professional fighter? Oh, okay. Well, in his free time, he mixes it up in the cage, but mostly you'd find him out in New Jersey. Mostly you'll find him in New Jersey showing a nice duplex to a lovely young family. Showing a nice duplex to a lovely young couple. That's how he won the belt. But the thing is, he was the last minute replacement like I described before. Who was he supposed to? Wasguson who got hurt that fight i know that holloway tried to step up from 145 but couldn't make the weight which was wild it's like wow what do you walk around at 145 king uh but before that it may have been tony um but i don't i know maybe maybe tony had the interim
Starting point is 00:36:03 belt at that time i think tony had the interim belt at that time. I think Tony had the interim belt and then maybe they stripped Tony when he hurt himself, threw it on the floor and made Aliquinta and Khabib fight for it. Aliquinta was ranked ninth in the world. Before that, it was like Michael Johnson was the guy that he
Starting point is 00:36:19 hauled over and threw on the floor and said, give me the grand gala! Give me belt! He was screaming or whatever the fuck. But he really, if you go back to his early career, he beat a lot of people who were 0-1. That's not really a good thing.
Starting point is 00:36:36 What happened was these guys were experienced Sambo competitors, which is essentially MMA. They're like, I'm making up numbers but you know these guys are like 27 and 3 in sambo and then they're 1 and 0 in mma and they're people pretend that he fought cans who had never done an mma those are cans you just defined it oh they're like k1 kickboxing champions coming over to mma only like never had a fight. You're talking about cricket over there.
Starting point is 00:37:06 You don't understand Kyle. He's a pro cricket player. It counts when you strike him out in the MLB. No, it doesn't. He only competed in our sport once in his life. It was to lose to his coach's son or his coach's son's brother's friend
Starting point is 00:37:22 because they're all incestuously fucking each other with left-handed handshakes over there in the Arab Soviet fucking tundra. I'm not buying it. This is because they're from a different sport. They came over to this sport one time and one time only to fight Khabib
Starting point is 00:37:38 in his sport. He beat me. Shucks. I'm going to go back to Sambo now. Sambo is different than MMA. I mean, I don't know how Sambo is different from MMA, but I know it is Sambo now. How is Sambo different than MMA? I mean, I don't know. I don't know how Sambo is different from MMA, but I know it is different from MMA. It's not very different.
Starting point is 00:37:52 I mean, it's pretty much the same thing. Fedor was a Sambo guy. I don't see how any of that's relevant when we're talking about someone's record. It's basically Russian MMA, right? So this is like before he made it to the UFC. No one looks at it this way but you and Khabib. That's not true. People who know know. Before he went to the UFC. They're saying No one looks at it this way but you and Khabib! That's not true. People who know know. Before he went to the UFC Huge threads about him. He was like fighting
Starting point is 00:38:10 these Sambo guys and they're like his wins are not legit. When you're undefeated yeah, not everybody was Gaethje but Gaethje was Gaethje and Connor was Connor. I counted those three. He has three good wins in his career. Gaethje, Connor, Poirier. I'd have to look at his record to think
Starting point is 00:38:26 of more good ones. I don't know. Did he beat RDA? Am I crazy? Yeah, he almost certainly did. Seems like everybody did, right? Oh, poor Rafael. You're talking shit on him. He was a champion. I think Khabib got three good wins in and then he
Starting point is 00:38:42 retired. Which is a lot better than getting six good losses in and then not retiring. That's true. It's like way better. He beat Michael Johnson, who I guess was good at the time, but he was kind of the tail end of being good. You're 65 and you're getting your ass kicked. You hate your job.
Starting point is 00:39:02 He must need money because, my God god why else would you keep subjecting yourself to that just getting the shit kicked out of you over and over and over and over he thinks he can win you know all he's ever done is that and he won and when you went 12 in a row and keep in mind i bet that 12 in a row took place over the course of five or six years right i would think yeah at the rate that they fight. Maybe longer, because towards the end he got hurt. Imagine going five or six years as a professional athlete, and you've never been defeated in your field,
Starting point is 00:39:32 and not even that. It's not even, well, he's been defeated, but you've won, you know, those six in a row, 12 in a row, and he was fucking them up. They lost six in a row. He was fucking them up. There were memes right before he went on his losing skid. These are Tony Ferguson's last five opponents,
Starting point is 00:39:48 and it's their faces after the fight. They look like car accident victims. They are big gashes and cuts and just contusions, eyes swollen shut and shit. And Tony's got this famous thing where he's bouncing around with blood running down his face and his tongue stuck out. You don't want to fight that guy. It's scary.
Starting point is 00:40:06 I have it in front of me. It's six years he went without losing, and he has one loss. If you discount that, it would be a 10-year streak. That loss, Michael Johnson, the guy could be beat. That you don't count. I don't count him. I don't count him.
Starting point is 00:40:23 I count him as like a like a michael johnson is the kind of name that would show up like on my nhl be a gm account when i've simmed it past existing players and it's like michael johnson born 2018 no profile picture you know high elite prospect uh it's not that i think it was a bad fire i think he's like a mid-level guy there was uh you know how some sports will mic up players not really like ufc but like football basketball hockey i don't know if basketball does it that would be a good sport probably to mic up though but apparently there was a nhl players agreement thing in 2005 when they first started micing up players sometimes just to be like oh you can get a little we'll have to heavily edit it because they're fucking
Starting point is 00:41:04 professional hockey players and they say a lot of no-no things but they say gamer words they say gamer words a lot and there was an agreement in 2005 with like the players union that was like okay we'll allow players to wear mics but in the event that something happens on the ice like a penalty or there's a need for suspensions the that's inadmissible you cannot use any of the audio you find to punish them okay and this has never really been an issue before but the wild minnesota wild middies team and the winnipeg jets were playing the other night and the best player the best player on the best player on the Minnesota Wild got injured by a bit of a dirty play by someone on the Winnipeg Jets. And for Kyle, you might not know it as much.
Starting point is 00:41:53 When you get revenge on a team in hockey, it's not even always like, we got to get the guy who fucked up Kaprizov. They're like, we're fucking up someone on the Jets. That's baseball, too. Okay, so it's kind of like that. Often a corresponding player. It's like you heard our good guy, we'll heard your good guy. Yeah, this time they were just looking for someone to fuck with. And the player who was miked up that game, I guess the Wild didn't know
Starting point is 00:42:19 because they probably would have picked someone else to attack if they had known this guy was miked up. So the victim was miked up because this victim was mic'd up. The victim was mic'd up and the victim was going to take a face off against a Minnesota wild player named Ryan Hartman. And Hartman's known for, you know, pulling some skeevy stuff sometimes solid player though.
Starting point is 00:42:38 And according to the guy who got high sticked, he was like, yeah, Hartman told me before the face off kind of politely actually he's like i'm sorry bud but i gotta do it and then we went to go take the face off and i'll link you the thing right here he he accidentally on purpose the guy in green obviously you can't show it's an hl clip zach but the guy in green intentionally tries to make it look like an accident. But he smashes the guy in his teeth with his stick. And then because the rule with high sticking in hockey, Kyle, is that right there.
Starting point is 00:43:14 High sticking. You hit someone in the face. That's two minutes. If it draws blood. So you'll often see players like sticking, searching for blood. If it draws blood, that's five minutes. If you intentionally hit someone in the head with your stick like on purpose maliciously that's like game misconduct
Starting point is 00:43:31 unsportsmanlike like 10 minutes very huge penalty and so basically there was this little you know brouhaha where they're like hey this guy intentionally smacked me in the in the head with his stick that was not part of a face-off. It was not an accident. He did that to kind of hurt me and take me out of the game a bit. What the fuck? You can't just call a little penalty for that. But then the Players Association is now like, hey,
Starting point is 00:43:57 just because we can hear on the mic Ryan Hartman say, I'm going to high stick you in the face or whatever, we cannot allow that as evidence that he did it on purpose. And so there will be no further review of his behavior. And I'm like, yes, good. That's actually the way it should be. Otherwise, we're going to lose every bit of mic'd up content ever because no one will agree to have it on.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Like, I watched it and I saw people getting a little. Already deterrent. Yeah, it already is most people are laughing at this because in the world of hockey this is such a minor thing people get high sticks not that bad as hard as that on accident how big was the injury i did you tell us that uh how hurt was the guy here'll caprizov i i think he just went out for the game like i don't think it's a he was out for the rest of the game though that's not yeah was it was he cut was was as long as there's not like a if he had a facial cut, that would sway me into like, I don't
Starting point is 00:44:48 care what. But I don't care about the missing teeth. Like those are cheap to as if you're a professional athlete to operate. I if you if the Winnipeg Jets is it? Yes. Yes. If they don't have a rate at the local uh dentist office then what are you doing what are you they should there should be a team dentist in hockey they do i think
Starting point is 00:45:11 it didn't it didn't fuck up this guy's face really i think he had a little cut on his lip he might have had to get a stitch or two but like like very very much nothing look i'm not saying don't punish the guy look we watched him do it I don't need audio to know he did that on purpose. I know that my hand wouldn't go that way. And I've never done that thing they're doing before ever. You wouldn't accidentally go,
Starting point is 00:45:35 Oh, that's not where the puck was? Fuck, I thought this was going to be the one time the puck was up here. I thought it was in your mouth. I don't need audio evidence of anything. So I enjoyed that. I'm like, good. I'm glad how in your mouth. I don't need audio evidence of anything. Yeah, so I enjoyed that. I'm like, good. I'm glad how they handled that.
Starting point is 00:45:50 That sucks. I'll have to go back and check if Kaprizov was even out for the whole game, but he's the best player on the team by far. So, of course, they get real pissy when you go after him. Oh, the victim was their best player? The victim on the wild initially. This guy is like a young player who's very early in his career. This guy is the jet player who got high-sticked,
Starting point is 00:46:10 was just wrong place, wrong time guy. It didn't matter who lined up against Hartman in that face-off. Hartman was going to hit them in the mouth. When they hurt the guy in the beginning, this is the wild player who's very good who got hurt. How dirty a play was that? I'd have to rewatch it most of what i've watched was like the the actual high stick and like the fallout of it but it would have been bigger news in the hockey world for two two months if i hit you with a
Starting point is 00:46:38 very solid honorable hip check and you got hurt well i mean we're playing hockey yeah that's not even a penalty like that's yeah that's just hockey right but if i like slew foot you well then you know i can see why the team is upset yeah yeah definitely true but i i don't think caprizov is going to be out for a long time so that's good but okay i'm glad they handled it that way that's 100 the right move you can't remember the story you told us about i'm gonna mess his name up bradard's parents or mom in particular connor bradard's yeah with that rumor where it was like they kicked cory perry off the team because cory perry was fucking his mom yeah yeah is that generally regarded as untrue now yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:47:21 everyone like i think even connor bradard like made a statement about it where he's like yeah i don't know what any of this stuff is about uh it didn't have anything to do you know him being kicked off the team had nothing to do with me or my family or my friends like we had nothing to do with him being removed from the team and okay cory perry came out and was like i'm entering an alcohol substance program with the NHL Player Association. And I'm like, is that really what you're doing? I'm addicted to people's moms. I'm addicted to people's moms.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Because I'm like, okay, Corey Perry, you're 38 years old, and you still play in the NHL. Something tells me if you were like a wildly heavy boozer, you wouldn't still be in the NHL. I've been diagnosed as a motherfucker yeah i think you're probably right kyle like if there is something it would be painkillers but it's just more socially acceptable i guess to be like i'm going to an alcohol recovery place as opposed to like pills fucking his knees are probably gone right yeah and he's been in a lot of fights he's one of those like there's this dude
Starting point is 00:48:25 uh ryan kessler he used to play like a really hard form of hockey for many years for the ducks and a couple other teams and there have been like interviews with him now in his post life where he's like i you know he's almost says like i wish i could go back and like quit earlier i have headaches all the time it's hard for me to focus. I want to play with my kids and I may look like a fit guy, but my knees are destroyed. My hips are destroyed. My ankles are destroyed. I have the lower body of someone who's been through two lifetimes. Every bit of movement hurts. Kamaru Usman is a fighter. I heard that he goes up steps backwards because it's less painful. Stairs. Time to stop. stop he just fought by the way yeah these guys are destroying their bodies no wonder they have to do hgh and these things i am on a sort of the opposite of that joe lozon
Starting point is 00:49:17 tore his acl during his career and uh i think he's taught i think what simu told me he was like you know it was actually kind of a good thing like i had a thumb that had hurt me for two years in a row. Never got a chance to really heal. Cause he never stopped grappling. I had an elbow. That was a trick. This, I had a shoulder.
Starting point is 00:49:33 And then when I was forced to recover my torn ACL, brand new me second half of my career. That makes sense. Yeah. I, what I did jets, I hate to compare myself to these real athletes, dude, I went three years without turning my head like i would just do this
Starting point is 00:49:48 like three years it was so bad michael keaton batman when he looks up he has to yeah it was one guy in particular and they'd like one version of yeah dude this guy was way bigger and stronger than me but less skilled and um he would do this move called a can opener so he's in my guard which is like i'm in back the girl and missionary and uh in in fighting that's not a great spot but in brazilian jiu-jitsu i have the advantage because he's not he can't punch me but what he can do is grab the back of my head and pull it forward to just like crush it forward and it's just a pain move that you can just choose not to tap to if you just overlook the pain but it's also a fucking injury move i would never let him win that way but then you know for three years i can't turn my head how often were
Starting point is 00:50:46 you like having to turn like this at your desk at cisco and just have a thought of like this isn't i don't what am i doing like is this worth it i was like proud of myself almost like you know i'm not like these other it professionals at cisco i i practiced i trained at night one of those indian guys to put some fucking some holy magic on that back of yours get some of those suction cups or something you ever see i wonder if that works i see athletes with those with those gross bruises um you're talking about you can't he can't hit you when when he's in your guard um i can't remember what it's called maybe combat juiu-jitsu there's a jiu-jitsu where there's palm strikes and you and I heard Rogan and somebody else talking about this
Starting point is 00:51:30 he's like yeah it turns out a lot of jiu-jitsu stuff doesn't work when you can hit people in the face because like yeah you're not going to have time to manipulate my wrist if I can just go bang bang bang bang bang bang very quickly you become dizzy so this idea of a guard Taylor if you're on top of me bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Like very quickly you become dizzy.
Starting point is 00:51:48 So this idea of a guard, if I, Taylor, if you're on top of me and I either have my legs wrapped around you, right? Like a chick or like my knees on your belly, like you'd rather be closer to me, but I'm controlling your distance from me by having my knees on your belly. You haven't passed my guard. Passing my guard is a big deal in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. You really can't submit me until you get control it's hard to do it from my guard okay um we're doing all these guard passes studying and my instructor is an mma fighter like
Starting point is 00:52:16 he's he was actually good and uh he's like yeah but an mma like just punch him in the face they'll let you right by like it's the best guard pass there is all this shit we're learning is because there's no strikes if you hit this guy in the nose he's not gonna be like whatever yeah doing this ah fuck get off me like there's a lot of things that work in what they call sport jujitsu that don't work in fighting at all yeah you're gonna forget where to put your hips after you're concussed buddy promise you yeah but not that jiu-jitsu doesn't work because i see i feel like there's a lot of people who who say just stand up derrick lewis was so funny there's like jiu-jitsu ain't real you just stand up and he stood up the guy's all over him and he just go fuck all this he stands up takes like two steps away and turns around maybe maybe jujitsu just isn't real for derek lewis you saw that in like that little uh
Starting point is 00:53:12 promotional semi like just a little sparring pretend thing between conor mcgregor and the mountain yeah where like you know the mountains is like probably like, oh, Connor, I am such a big fan of yours and all that. But you watched him and it was like the mountain couldn't not look like he was a man playing with the child. We're like Connor would come in and be like, like showing how fast he could go. And the mountains like, oh, you silly boy, like pushing back. Got his hand is the size of Connor's like upper chest. Just I think the mountain wins that fight. 100%.
Starting point is 00:53:47 I think that if Conor McGregor came in with baby oil, then he wins the fight. While I do think at some point the mountain would grab Conor, I think he could get away still.
Starting point is 00:54:06 What he's got to do is get him and get him, get him. He needs to bear hug him and be able to mush him. He doesn't know how to throw a punch, a kick. He doesn't know anything about combat. You saw in that if Connor could get him to engage with him the way that the fictional fight down with the Red Viper of Dorne and all that and the fucking Game of Thrones. If he could actually get him to Tucker himself
Starting point is 00:54:27 out, if the mountain did anything other than stand there and say, as soon as you get close I'm going to grab you, bitch. Come on. Yeah. Tap me in my gut. You know how many fucking sit-ups I do? Come on. Hit me again. Yeah, come on. But if he's always reaching and lurching
Starting point is 00:54:44 and chasing Connoror around, I think Conor could tire him out enough and kick his legs enough to put him down. It'd be like trying to fight a cave troll. If he gets one hand on you, one mitt, I don't think so. I think he's got to get him, Conor. Conor can't. If the mouth is risk control.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Risk control is very important in wrestling. I remember that from my two years of middle school experience. And like me as a middle schooler, if I would grab another middle schooler like on my level and have risk control like that's huge. I can drag down and direct them where I want to go towards the mat. If Connor gets his wrist grabbed by the mountain like remember also the mountains like sometimes runner up and he has one strongest man in the world before like he's going to pull connor's arm out of his socket if he wants to that's why he pulls it out of his socket because i think that's why i want him moves with it but no he'll his body move with it but um but i do kind of
Starting point is 00:55:41 agree like if the mountain gets your wrist it's not like me getting your wrist. It's a very different thing. I face it. The reason I said it is because I think, I don't know if it was on the show or if it was in private, but Joe Lozon, we asked him if he could beat Shaquille O'Neal. He says no, he couldn't beat Shaq. And it's like, well, if Joe can't beat Shaq, then Connor can't beat the mountain, who's probably beat Shaq. Yeah, probably just because I would pick a strong man over a basketball player
Starting point is 00:56:05 when they're both seven feet tall. I don't fucking know. Shaq was a real athlete. Not just a powerful man and a giant man. Shaq was the highest caliber. All of his special traits. Shaq has only ever competed against people weaker than him. It's not like...
Starting point is 00:56:21 That's not his fault. So has the Mountain. Sometimes the Mountain would lose to that's not his fault. So has the mountain. No, no, no. It's it's well, sometimes the mountain would lose to that. Even somehow bigger guy. Brian Shaw. Yeah, he'd have to talk her himself out. And like you said, if he ever grabbed Connor in a way that Connor didn't immediately like, give me my hand back and like pull it out of his grasp. Then that's the end of the fight.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Right. Because he just like falls on top of Connor and like crumples him up to this ball. I picture fighting the mountain the way like it is to like fight enemies in Star Fox. We're like, I just have to keep distance until his head starts blinking. And then I have to like get get damage in while he's vulnerable. Or maybe he like he would have to bend over for you. Actually, you're right. You couldn't punch him in the stomach hard enough to hurt him.
Starting point is 00:57:10 He didn't even drive to the event. He dragged a civic there. I don't have a strategy that lets me beat the mountain. That's why I like the idea. I don't even think I could beat him in a foot race. I think I'm just fucked. I know charisma.
Starting point is 00:57:26 I'm going to try to convince him not to beat me. That's my move. You have to hope he's just like one of those natural, gentle giants where he's like, I don't want, I don't, I don't like conflict because it would end with me in prison. No,
Starting point is 00:57:40 no one's picking the other guy or my side. If there's a brawl, I'll beat him in a court of law. It's like those. Yeah. Post-humus? Is that post-post-humus? Postumously.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Yeah. Man, that sucks the college football's done. I was just starting to have fun watching it. It's all over now. Well, the NFL playoffs are just kicking off, right? Like, isn't it almost time for that to begin? Yeah. The Eagles.
Starting point is 00:58:04 If these numbers aren't right they're close they started like 10 and 1 and they're like 11 and 5 now really dude as long as they get in the playoffs it doesn't matter they aren't gonna make the playoffs but when you're i think those numbers are close yeah it doesn't it's hard to get excited i'd say we do a bracket for the show tomorrow night. I already know half my bracket, of course, as I am predicting Eagles-Chiefs Super Bowl with the Chiefs winning it.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Because you've got to get Taylor Swift there for the Super Bowl. You've got to squeeze all that money. Are you working a conspiracy angle? Yeah, I'm working it. And I'm not saying that the fix is 100% in. I just think that everything is going to lean that way for them. So, like, if there's a call that's a 50-50 call,
Starting point is 00:58:51 did he make it? Is that a catch or not? We usually just, what do you think? Like, those are going to go the Chiefs' ways and the Eagles' ways every single time. I think that the commish is going to come down and be like, you know, Chiefs and Eagles, that's got a ring to it, doesn't boys got kind of a ring to it kind of a ring to it two very popular teams with huge fan bases sounds perfect that'd be good uh i saw this like this me i couldn't find the
Starting point is 00:59:17 actual tweet but have you ever seen the way this fucking dude on the chiefs runs the the they're running back p Pacheco, I saw someone joke and they're like, this dude runs like he's a five-year-old testing out his new shoes at the shoe store. Oh my gosh. That's so cool. He runs like a fucking...
Starting point is 00:59:38 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Dude, that man is making some power right there. He is making a lot of power the reason that doesn't look right to us is because we don't even understand the athleticism required i i saw people like other like professional football commentators being like i mean he's already quick but is there a way to transfer some of that angry downward energy into the ground forward energy because he hits the ground like i i was laughing out loud yeah i was like he's running like a five-year-old testing out his shoes
Starting point is 01:00:11 i like it yeah it's like a meme every time that's how he always runs isaiah pacheco he's one of the running backs i'm a fan now yeah i like him look at that this this tweet you know pacheco is way too aggressive with the video game controller the type of friend who fucks up the buttons and forces you to give him the off-brand controller no one messes with every like i don't i haven't watched that much of the Chiefs, but every single game I watch, half of it is Patrick Mahomes just like, ah, ah, and it'll show a replay of a pass hitting someone in the diamond of their hand and then just like, bleh, dropping it. There was a clip of him on the sidelines
Starting point is 01:00:59 where he wasn't mic'd up or anything, but you could see him mouthing like, what the fuck else can I do? The ball's going where I'm putting it every time, and they can't fucking catch it. None of their receivers are leading the team in receptions. Yeah, apparently that's the Chiefs' problem, is they have the best quarterback and nobody can catch the ball,
Starting point is 01:01:20 which has got to be, that's a little bit of a Dante's Inferno punishment for a good quarterback. Oh, we're going to put you on a little bit of a like a dante's inferno punishment for the for a good quarterback oh we're gonna put you on a good quarterback with a great team everything but receivers everything but that yeah but you know if the chiefs don't win the super bowl then i don't even care that doesn't then it doesn't even matter to me but if they do then i'm a huge chiefs fan now do they oh they're going fan now. Do they play in Kansas? They play in Kansas, right? No, they play in Missouri. Yeah. It's confusing for regular people.
Starting point is 01:01:51 It is. It is. The Kansas City Chiefs. It's right in the name. It is. Yeah. And Kansas tries to claim it, but they just have a little slice of Kansas City, which is, in fairness, Overland Park, which is the nicest part of Kansas City. Kansas doesn't have any sports teams? You're right. Yeah, because the Kansas City
Starting point is 01:02:09 Chiefs are Missouri, so I don't think they have any teams. The Royals. No, they play in Missouri as well. We have two baseball teams, a football team, a hockey team, and no basketball teams. Which, that's okay. I don't think. Do you guys have basketball yeah the atlanta hawks
Starting point is 01:02:26 are they are they good they're usually in a tough spot they are usually not and i know that atlanta does not have a baseball team anymore you refuse to recognize them they do not have a baseball they're they're in that spot you know how like as a sports team if you absolutely suck you get the best draft picks and there's some excitement and some hope. And if you're good, that's obviously cool too. The Hawks, they're just in that spot where they're going to lose in the first round and not do anything cool. They're like the Blues this year. I genuinely like – sometimes I do it to troll the fans that I hate basketball.
Starting point is 01:03:01 But, man, every time I actually try to give it a chance. Did you see the meme the other day? It was like, why basketball fans, why people hate in the NBA? And first they have a regular white guy do this silly move in a private basketball court. And you're like, dude, what are you doing? Do you even know how to play
Starting point is 01:03:17 the game? And then they show an NBA broadcast of a player doing it exactly the way the white guy just did it and not getting called and it's huge traveling calls it's many steps three four five steps after holding the ball spinning like doing a full 360 with your feet sort of wobbling around and taking little short steps constantly like like moving the ball the whole time and then throwing it and it like it i can't i can't either if you don't call if you don't call that then you
Starting point is 01:03:46 create a game that visually to me looks like nonsense it looks remember how they had like i don't know if they'd still do this but they had madden which was real football game yeah and then they had like nfl hits nfl blitz yes and it was like street ball with like silly players and like maybe mike tyson played on one of the teams and like you'd smash people's faces into trash cans and shit and it's like this is fun but it's not football we all agree on that right that's what i think every time i watch the nba it's like yeah this is fun man but this this isn't really the game that i i hear you but you can't go too deep on a twitter post where they take like the worst calls in the last seven years and make a montage out of them and say that's what basketball is. If you were to do that with hockey or football, you could also act like like I bet there's dives in hockey that just look ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:04:38 And if I got all the worst dives in hockey for the last 10 years, I could make it look like it was soccer. It's not but i could fool it's true but like if you if you did make a compilation of the worst nhl dives every single one of them would be a call some of them would be fines like it's rare that they get away with a big dive in the nhl hockey's much better at that then i don't even mind that that if you're talking about faking like a hit and pretending you're hurt, to get drawn. I lift my stick and you pretend I hit you with it to draw a penalty. The NHL will call you
Starting point is 01:05:12 if, Kyle, I hit you and the ref thinks that you fell too hard and you threw yourself into the boards, they'll be like, Taylor, two minutes for roughing. Kyle, two minutes for embellishment. Like, they'll just tell you.
Starting point is 01:05:27 And it's like, I got hit. But, like, yeah, you fell harder than you have to, bud. The problems are on offense and defense in the NBA, I feel, because not only you let these guys run around and travel constantly and do stuff that's clearly, like, against the rules if we're playing peewee basketball. But then on the other side, like, you don't – I feel like they call too many fouls
Starting point is 01:05:45 sometimes like they should call every foul you there should be no con you touch him what i mean i brushed him foul he shoots now stop touching him touch him again that's your third touch they gotta get less i would love it if we're on the dribble stuff i would love it if if it's just they got five white guys out there playing because the black guys couldn't keep their hands to themselves. All of a sudden, and you know, all of a sudden,
Starting point is 01:06:12 look at that. Then white guys don't travel as much. So what happens is this, right? Let's say Kyle, you're just farther than the foul line and you've got the ball on two of your hands. Right.
Starting point is 01:06:23 And you're sort of deciding whether you're going to pass it or shoot it. I reach in, right? Like I want to smack the ball away. Your move is called a rip through. You lift your arm up so that your arm hits mine and draw the foul. It's getting, they call it sometimes getting your hand caught in the cookie jar, right? So now you've drawn a foul. You get a foul shot. It's a really smart play on your behalf, but it's
Starting point is 01:06:47 terrible to watch. I would let you get the shot, but I didn't like the way you did that rip-through thing to make it a foul, so I'm going to give them the ball after. That's what happens anyway, right? You get your two foul shots and you lose possession. I'll let them shoot too.
Starting point is 01:07:08 I would say no that was it that was terrible this is that was yeah yeah i would rather them say no no no kyle you touched woody on purpose we don't count those fouls like you initiated the contact that was a non-basketball move i like what you yeah i don't know what the verbiage would be, but being like, no, you baited him. You put yourself in the position to be hit. He didn't hit you. The contact, right? You can't. He investigated the contact. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:33 If I'm running and you jump in front of me, then what do we do about a screen? So the screens, you have to be set, right? So you need to stay still. I don't know how long it is. It's not very long. But you need to be still for like an entire second. And then I run next to you. And that's what a screen is. A moving screen is a penalty. Yeah. Yeah. What I don't I think what I don't like to see whenever I turn the TV on, I try to get into it.
Starting point is 01:07:54 And like the things that turn me off from the game, I'll see lots of crazy celebration over things that seem very commonplace. It's like, why don't we all calm down and try to like to like oh did you get two points for the 45th time this game yeah i mean calm down calm down so we're shooting an and one video out here um and except there aren't as many white people and and that whenever someone's like charging into uh to the to the basket and they're just running everybody first of all the move is to have the ball right like this and your elbows flare and then to just eat shit with both elbows as you take these big shoulder rolling strides through everything and everyone who wants some because by the way we're 246 6 lebron and then you just jump up and anybody in your way they catch elbows knees hips whatever we're 246 6 eat it and and i'm just like you found four people
Starting point is 01:08:53 and there's only five on the other team is what it looks like to me like i want them to blow the whistle i want the i want it to be like the nfl where come out and explain it to. I'd love it if a guy came out and he said, ruling on the court is number 24 traveled through one, two, three players, fouling all three of them. That's three fouls. That'll be six shots. And then I want him to add it up and explain. Unfortunately, that means you need to sit there for three throws at the dunk tank.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Uh-oh. I'm tired. Taylor's got some innovation ideas. I'm sorry. You have to wear clown shoes the remainder of the quarter. Those are the rules. Those are the rules. I'm sorry. I don't make the rules. Imagine if you shoot foul shots and I sit on the dunk
Starting point is 01:09:41 tank and if you make them both go in and I play wet for the rest of the game. Fans are furious after the NBA is acquired in its entirety by the Wonka Corporation, resulting in drastic changes to the rules that had already set the fans on tilt. What Kyle mentioned, like what happens inside the paint, the rules are complicated and I can't defend them or even explain them. Like what, there's a three-second violation? It's a charge if you've stood still.
Starting point is 01:10:09 It's not a charge if you're moving. And, like, I hear whistles blow in basketball and half the time I don't know who. I just wait to see who got the call. I don't know if that was offensive or defense. I'm very confused. I just wish that they would call everything uh consistently you know and and baseball like i really wish they'd get that fat fucker out from behind the plate what are you doing there old man i wish somebody i hate i hate the ump yes umpires are awful just use a computer
Starting point is 01:10:37 like you could tell that they i saw one where um what happened the ump was like catch catchers go through a lot of balls ball hits the dirt time a new ball. He reaches his glove out for the ball, umpire goes to throw the ball in the glove, catcher isn't looking, he's got a mask on and everything, and he moves his hand as the ball's coming. The umpire thinks that he did that too slow, kind of moved to him, and throws it
Starting point is 01:10:58 out of the fucking game! Like, they're just little dictators behind that fucking plate. They're pieces of shit. And half the time, they're wrong when it comes to, like, the things that matter. And half the time they're wrong when it comes to like the things that matter. Not half the time. If there is a game that you could just have like drones judging it, like with a remote viewer or just a computer gauging the box, like it's baseball.
Starting point is 01:11:17 They've got a few different ways they do it and can do it. And there's a lot of proposals. It's usually a hybrid where you've got a a system that that's giving exact balls and strikes but with an umpire there to kind of keep things moving along and all and uh i think there'd be challenges the kind of the way they are in uh the nfl you know challenging plays yeah what is this i'm looking at zach this is a angel hernandez who's a uh umpire the guy behind the plate, in his accuracy. 86%
Starting point is 01:11:47 is lower than I expected. They're showing balls that he called strikes, the strikes he calls balls. They're showing that overall he gave favor to... I think they're saying that that added a quarter of a run to LA. Statistically, somehow. In tennis?
Starting point is 01:12:08 It's really the replay. i think the system's called runners made base or something and really it's it's the computers that judge the game whether it was in or out and the ref does a lot less than they used to so yeah i hope that continues yep i the worst part of every sport is the ref, whether they're not doing their job or doing too much of their job. It always is. That and judges. I hate judging. I was going to say, yeah, I'm going to include that to judges. I'm not going to be like, in MMA, it's judges that are bad.
Starting point is 01:12:35 It sucks that they didn't put George in because I really do feel like they made a mistake. George is one of the best four teams in the country at least, and then they should figure out where it goes from there. But sometimes you'll watch a goddamn fight fight and the judges will just be like yeah fuck all that shit you just saw we like this we we live in a different reality and you're and and everybody goes well the judges decided tonight they're in a different reality so we're just gonna go with it every everyone gets paid based on their reality. Yeah, we all saw it go the way it went, but who cares?
Starting point is 01:13:08 Why is no one walking over and grabbing these guys up by the collar and fingers in their face? And then the cameraman shouldn't look away. Someone probably already did that, and that's why they had that decision. They're really giving Don Hammer the business over there at the judging. Both look at him. That's right, John Wayne.
Starting point is 01:13:24 They are. They should make a big deal there should be criminal proceedings there should be grand jury testimony and i'm not even joking there's millions and hundreds of millions of dollars moving around sometimes it's bad enough like um whatever if some guy calls a travel wrong dude it's complicated was his hand on the side of the ball the top of the ball like you're gonna get calls wrong but on that mma stuff sometimes it seems crooked it's so wrong it's hard to justify how they landed on that so i i want to live in a world where you could sue the judge as a fighter take him to civil court and the judge watches the fight the real judge the court in the court of law watches the fight in the courtroom and then you call export for testimony you have max holloway come up and
Starting point is 01:14:10 he's like well your honor i fought this amount of times and this khabib comes up i never lose fight i tell you neither has this was not loss this was not lost either i never lose fight telling you this was not lost like like just it would be beautiful and then like well you're criminally negligent here we're not put him in jail I'd love that I'd love to see a MMA judge go to jail yeah I really want financial restitution is what I want and I want the records to be set straight because it's forever and you know it's not your team the blue jays didn't lose one when you say that is that what's in your mind no um there's but but i mean he's a good example of they should just fix that um but but i'm talking about like peter yan you know i don't you felt like he won the first one i know he won that oh no no no that was the one isn't he the
Starting point is 01:14:56 one where he uh got dq'd for hurting for kneeing a down opponent yeah but but he also like um who was it? He fought Sean O'Malley, I think, and I thought that he won and not Sean. I could be wrong about it. Maybe it wasn't Sean. That sounds right to me, but I'm not sure either.
Starting point is 01:15:16 So you're not talking about the DQ, talking about a different fight? No, no. He deserved it. He was guilty of the DQ. He did it. Sometimes it seems like the punishment doesn't fit the crime, but
Starting point is 01:15:27 it's not like they decided the punishment. They're on the spot. Those are the rules. He broke the rules and they applied them appropriately. I just think maybe a no contest would have been more fitting. Well, I've enjoyed it thoroughly, gentlemen.
Starting point is 01:15:43 2024, here we come. 2024, here we come. Yeah, here we are. All right. PKN 489.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.