Painkiller Already - PKN 490

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 fucking tub. Kyle, you have found pretzels wrapped around peanut butter? I didn't find them, but you know, you get these gifts around the holidays and it's like pretzel bites with peanut butter on the inside. They look
Starting point is 00:00:16 kind of like, they're like little pretzel squares. Like combos, but sweet? Well, a combo is obviously a cylinder where the center's been stuffed. I still believe that combos started out as a way to like as a pet pill company a way to sneak your pet and they were like hey people love them too you know
Starting point is 00:00:32 like pill pockets because they're terrible but these are just thin pretzel pockets that are shaped like a little square and on the inside is peanut butter and there's salt on the outside and they're going to have to be thrown away. They're too delicious. Where did you get them? You're a better
Starting point is 00:00:48 man than I. Let me, let me. I get these gift baskets. I joined a, um, it's for coral reefers, a secret Santa thing. And you filled out a questionnaire. Well, one of the things that asked was your favorite candy. And I was like Cadbury cream eggs. Well, the guy wrote me. He's like, I can't find Cadbury
Starting point is 00:01:03 cream eggs anywhere. I looked all over. They're just an Easter thing, but I found these and it's a bag like the pounder of M&Ms, but they're not M&Ms. They're like Cadbury cream M&M like candies. And I didn't have the willpower to throw them out, but I did have the willpower to not eat them for six fucking weeks. They sat next to my
Starting point is 00:01:25 recliner on the armrest and I didn't touch them. I didn't touch them. Here's my willpower. I got hungry enough and that bag lasted a day or so. You got all the evil out in a day. I broke.
Starting point is 00:01:43 That's how I am with sweets. My greatest willpower moment was it was my birthday, and I was a couple months into a pretty strict diet and fucking steroids and pumping iron. My doorbell rings. I check, and
Starting point is 00:02:00 there's a nice, fancy box out there, and I open it up. It says, Happy Birthday, Mom. And it's like a $ box out there. And I open it up. It says, happy birthday, mom. And it's like $120 cake. It's like this fancy cake that she's had a baker make for me. And I closed the box. I drove to Kitty's house. And I said, here's a cake. And I left and I went home.
Starting point is 00:02:21 And I just remember looking in the mirror like you're like sad in the car did you did you tell your mom you enjoyed the cake though i told her exactly what happened i said don't send me stuff like that what are you thinking like like you should know better no you gotta throw your mom a thank you and pretend you ate it mom i'm no liar i'm honest mom should mom should know first of all, that ain't the kind of cake I like. Second of all, very inappropriate to send one without asking. Third of all, very inappropriate to send one without asking. And fourth of all, I don't want cake for my birthday, Mom. Was it like a giant sheet cake?
Starting point is 00:02:58 No, this was a multi-layer round cake that she'd had a professional baker make. This was a very fancy cake. What was the exterior and interior white on white it was caramel and on the inside it was caramel and uh on the inside i think it was white i i don't really i don't know i didn't eat it so yeah i i got jackie a nice cake for her birthday like two or three birthdays ago and uh basically i went to a baker i wanted to get a good, proper cake. It wasn't as expensive as yours. It was maybe $60, like half as much. But that, to me, is still a tremendous amount for a cake. I was surprised. And I was home and it showed well like it was fancy to look at and I think it had rum in it or something and it was decorated classy like a like you know a nice car has a brown tan interior reminiscent of that and nobody liked it not a single person liked the cake I think we are target people when it comes to cakes they just price it
Starting point is 00:04:05 high enough that you're like this cashier doesn't think i can afford this cake i'm about to come in hot though you know i was thinking about getting four or five but watching my figure you know i didn't even notice how much is it i don't care like one of my favorite episodes of curb your enthusiasm larry goes to a dinner party or something and there's this delicious cake everybody's fawning over it he's like fuck how's that where'd you get this cake and tells him where the bakery is so next day he goes to the bakery and he walks in it's an erotic bakery it's a huge black dick with balls that he's eating he's like i ate that like yes sir this is our this is our 12 inch like like thick daddy or whatever and he's like oh my god well i don't want that he's got pubic hair and stuff but he doesn't realize that he doesn't want it
Starting point is 00:04:50 so he picks the cake up buys it anyway wouldn't you know it that was the night that the black family from hurricane katrina was going to be there staying in his house so the little eight year old black girl opens the box there's giant black dick she screams she runs upstairs it's great drama great trauma i messed myself up with sweets like this is probably less than a week ago is like i don't know if you guys are the grocery store the same way but i'll do my best to avoid the aisles i know are problems for me so like the snack the salty aisle where the pork rinds are where the pretzels are where the chips are if i walk down that aisle even on the way from like the pork rinds are where the pretzels are where the chips are if i walk
Starting point is 00:05:25 down that aisle even on the way from like the meats to the checkout i'm gonna slip up i'm gonna see something that's like oh two pounds of colossal cashews yes please and pork rinds and this and that and man so i i walked past like i had my normal stuff i got my eggs got my my yogurts and whatnot and i was walking back through and i intentionally like didn't go down the salty aisle because i'm like i know i don't have the i don't have the defense mechanisms up right now to resist there's nothing there for you though i went i love the salty aisle i just i love it nothing there for you i want it are you trying to hypnotize him right now kyle there's clearly a whole it's like an alley full of yeah there's an alley full of whores and crack, I'm sure, like 15 miles from me.
Starting point is 00:06:09 That's the place for me, Woody. I love whores and crack. I promise you I do. I've never tried crack, but I bet... I love pork rinds and cashews and chips. I avoid that alley. I like Andy Capp's hot fries. I like everything in that aisle, except for Doritos.
Starting point is 00:06:21 I don't like Doritos very much. I think those are low quality. So I went to the right one aisle to go towards the checkout. And the right aisle to it is like some sodas and sweets and stuff. For some reason, I picked up feminine hygiene products. I'm incredibly impressionable. I have a heavy flow. And so I was walking down the suite aisle. And because I don't venture down the sweet aisle that often brand new sugar technologies were
Starting point is 00:06:46 bombarding me from every side has been working like the fucking cranberry people they don't the reese's company picked up the last remaining nazi scientists and they've been coming up with the most fantastic ways to mix chocolate and peanut butter for the past 80 years and i walked down and i passed the oreos. And usually I can blow past that because I want to get the pork rinds and the salt. But I saw birthday cake Oreos, which must be a new technology that I'm not familiar with.
Starting point is 00:07:16 And what really got me is I saw that delicious white cream in between the two cookies and the sprinkles it had on there, like the flavored sugary sprinkles. And so before I know it. Some demons taken me. And now I've got a box of those in my cart.
Starting point is 00:07:30 And I get home. And just absentmindedly. Ate the entire thing. Of Oreos. The next morning. It was so absentminded. That it's somewhere on here. Let's talk Oreos for a minute.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Because I'm a big man yeah i was it was it was so like second nature just to keep munching because i was high as shit and so just like oh i want something to taste delicious like i woke up the next morning and was just like oh i think i'm getting sick and like it took like 10 minutes before i was like no this is just how you feel if you eat a week and a half worth of sugar in one we talk about these oreos i'm looking at this i'm like oh pick one amazing amazing oh my god chocolate or mint fucking cherry cola oreo sign me up oreo thins hold on who the fuck thought things were a good idea this is a bad idea this is yeah double stuff okay triple double
Starting point is 00:08:27 oh my god no no no most stuff top left corner that stuff is all right it's gross if you've never seen a most stuff they're actually repulsive because it's mostly the stuff oreo things oh my god somebody was just like There was a dick in their mouth when they came up with that That guy should have been fired on the spot Right What do you think we're doing here dumbass Do you think the mystery Oreo Is like each cookie is a mystery
Starting point is 00:08:57 Or like we just don't know what's in this Oh my goodness I gotta be honest The second one is my preferred Like the standard Oreo So it's going thin standard double and then some combination of the nonsense probably triple and mega or no no mega and most most is repulsive i had i i had a double stuff oreo not too long ago and i remember
Starting point is 00:09:19 i i cracked it open and i like tried to like bite the the cream out with my teeth you know i did that child was and i and i immediately was like this is fucking nasty i don't like it there's way too much of this shit in my mouth this is amazing i think i would like the most if i don't have milk if i do have milk i'd slide to the left somewhere and and as much as i ripped on thins with milk yeah they're all good but the you're right it is a bit childish to go past double And as much as I ripped on thins with milk, maybe. Yeah, they're all good. But you're right. It is a bit childish to go past double as an adult. Double's too much for me.
Starting point is 00:09:54 I would prefer standard to double. Now, this whole image we're looking at here, I haven't tried 90%. I've only maybe tried two of these. A lot of these are international. A red velvet Oreo? That sounds very fucking good. I would eat that. I'd try that. Banana split Oreo? That sounds vile. Apple pie? No thank you. Hot and spicy cinnamon? No, not a chance. Terrible. Pumpkin spice? No. Mint? No. Pina colada's the worst.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Mystery? I'm not a gambler. Carrot cake? No. Peeps? No. Not a gambler. Pina colada? P Peeps, no. I'm not a gambler. Pina colada. Pina colada is disgusting. Kettle corn, no. Most of these I would say no to. Cherry cola, probably gross. Maple cream, I'll give that a try.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Snickerdoodle, maybe I've come around on that. Snickerdoodles are pretty good. Dunkin' Donuts branded mocha Oreo looks terrible. Cannabis and codeine Oreo. I would try that. Actually, no, that tastes really bad. That's little Wayne's Oreos. Yeah, weed tastes terrible. Weed is so strong it can ruin dark chocolate.
Starting point is 00:10:53 I'm sure this will demonetize us, but I want to show Taylor and Kyle Giannis. This guy's one of the best basketball players on the planet. He was MVP like two or three years ago. He's called the Greek freak. He's not American, and he just discovered oreos after he made it to the nba and he's going to tell us about his oreo journey and i find it just heartwarming so no oreos in greece or he couldn't afford him something like that uh but he must have made him i'm pretty'm pretty sure I linked it correct.
Starting point is 00:11:25 We'll get back there. I don't think he was talking about it with Jake Paul. I don't know what went wrong. He said it broke. He'll get it in a second. Anyway, I don't want to change the topic. He'll have it in 10 seconds. Just stand by. Oh, of course. I could talk about Oreos for another 49 minutes if you guys want. We can just talk about cookies and candies. Now I need to... I think I'm just going to take a circuitous route and avoid both of those from now on.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Turn it up, and here we go. I ate Oreos before. Yeah. When I came to the league, that was the first thing I ate because when I was younger, I was always craving them and could never afford them.
Starting point is 00:12:02 So I was like, okay, when I get a little bit of money, people go spend money on cars and chains and I'm going afford them. So I was like, okay, make a little bit of money. People go spend money in cars and chains. I ate them for like a month straight. No dinner, no lunch, no nothing. So I got sick. He was like, have you ever dipped them
Starting point is 00:12:16 in milk? Like, no. He said, you should try that. I took the Oreos and I threw it in the milk he's like no just dunk it like put it in like go what about it give me a spoon i grabbed a spoon i took the first one no freaking way i was like bro this is amazing you know so i realized from now on that's a every night snack you know what'd be funny is like after that interview his you just see the production of
Starting point is 00:12:52 him on the on the court he's like giannis looking exhausted tonight in the first quarter he needs to find an oreo sponsorship that's what he needs that man loves his cookies i don't think nabisco needs any help selling Oreos. They sell themselves. Look at how bold they were with those flavors, dude. They're laughing in God's face. Apple pie, Neapolitan ice cream. I like Neapolitan.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I'm that guy that likes Peeps, those little chicks things. I know, I know, I know. I'm like the 1%. But I saw that they have Peeps Oreos, and that was the one that I wanted to try. Peeps were the first food that as a 7-year-old, I'm like, oh, a little too sweet for my blood.
Starting point is 00:13:34 We'll see. He can't handle his sugar. They make Peeps. They make Peeps-flavored Pepsi. They make Peeps-flavored Pepsi. I bought a six-pack of it last year peep flavor pepsi and you know obviously i bought it around uh easter last year and i was oh this would be a fun little disgusting i'm talking about i took one sip and threw them all away there was no like
Starting point is 00:13:59 well this will grow on us no i won't be convinced. I want them. Go get it. Dude, come Easter, I'm going to search out Peeps food. Oreos, Pepsi, I don't give a heck. I'm going to want to try it. I will never try a Peeps flavored thing again. But those birthday cake Oreos, my
Starting point is 00:14:19 God, perfect. They got the lab combination they came up with it tastes just like like a a white frosting white cake it tastes almost like a dunkaroo cream yeah and oh man blast from the past i remember feeling like i always felt like i was getting away with something eating dunkaroos as a kid i don't know why i think it was because like my mom my mom wouldn't let us have a lot of sweets and so yeah we were dipping cookies and frosting. I'll get to the bottom of it.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Do you remember what was the not dip in dots, Fun Dip. Remember Fun Dip? It was just they had one form of sugar, which was a sugar stick that you licked to get sticky, and then five other forms of
Starting point is 00:15:04 sugar that were just colored sugar. And it't kind of it was more the act it was like it was almost like eating uh crab legs where it was like a fun activity in addition to it i remember eating them at the little league baseball park okay when it was like my my younger brother's game and i'm there and i'm bored and they're trying to keep me occupied and so they just fill me up with one dip there was a um ymca we used to go swimming at a big outdoor pool and it had a snack shack i don't know if there's another word for it they sold them that's that the that candy and that location are linked for me it's weird how that gets it's like i can yeah i the only memory i have eating fun dip is sitting
Starting point is 00:15:45 in like a little league ballpark and thinking like baseball's so fucking gay but at least i have this but at least i get to suck on this phallic candy at least i get to suck on this candy man what's gonna happen if i mix the the red powder with the blue powder and it's like it's like, it's the same. It's still sugary. No, they're slightly different. But I didn't like the powder as much as I liked the stick. Because the stick was more of just standard sugar. I remember the blue powder.
Starting point is 00:16:16 I think it was blue raspberry. It was a little too sour. Didn't like that. I never really liked that stuff. Specifically at the ballpark, I always wanted those cheap nachos with that orange cheese and those round little chips. I never liked those. I didn't like that. I felt like I was on the clock when I would get nachos anywhere.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Because once the cheese was no longer hot, it was kind of punishing to eat it. It's like, oh, now the cooler this gets gets the more very evident it becomes that this is not cheese and so you're right it's cliche now but when you order more and more nachos you just stack it taller and taller on the plate what a bunch of horseshit that is they should have bigger and bigger plates pizza plates oversized pizza plates oh yeah that's a nacho grande i never i never order nachos anywhere I go specifically because I don't trust nacho distribution. You're right.
Starting point is 00:17:10 They put a whole Tostitos bag on there and then they think they're fooling me like a two-year-old without object permanence where I'm like, look at the amount of nachos! It's like, no, there's six pieces of meat. There's like an eighth of a total onion on here. There's nothing.
Starting point is 00:17:26 I'm going to get one nacho deep under the crust of this, and it's going to be worse than regular chips because the steam from everything kind of moistening the central chips, just a disaster. So nachos are high risk. Yeah, absolutely. Give me potato skins all day if that's available at the same place but I mean obviously ballpark you're not going to get that
Starting point is 00:17:48 what's the best appetizer at an American food place I think potato skins are up there I love potato skins they're great mozzarella sticks those are good I mean if let's exclude chicken wings because chicken wings those are a meal also and they're going to blow the pants
Starting point is 00:18:04 off of anything we say everybody loves chicken wings because chicken wings those are a meal also and they're gonna blow the pants off of anything we say everybody loves chicken wings so if if we're if we're keeping the price tag reasonable then i i know y'all don't but i really like that blooming onion um and they do it in it doesn't have to be the outback steakakhouse one. Gluttonous Kyle. I specifically said American food. You went Australian on me. Yeah. The Bloomin' Onion is the best form of them because you can dip them easier. I have the Bloomin' Onion Maker. You ever seen this thing?
Starting point is 00:18:35 Wow. You put it on top. First of all, you have to buy a big boy onion, like a multiple pound onion. Dude, that's the tippity top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You're self-fulfilled then you get a blooming onion maker self-actualized when there was nothing else i got the blooming onion maker and began my work have you ever made one or how many times have you used it i have used it once okay and and
Starting point is 00:19:03 because because the thing is, it is so gluttonous. And I knew it as every step of the way when I was doing this thing. I was telling my girlfriend, I'm like, I'm making us a Bloomin' Onion tonight. I don't have that. It's very much like that,
Starting point is 00:19:17 but it is not all big and metallic and made in the USA stamp. It's got suction cups. My God. Mine. But it splits the onion into all these. So I can't put my dick in that, right? You can. You batter and the thing
Starting point is 00:19:32 up and fucking deep fry. And man, it was tremendous. They're so fucking good. I like fried onions, but it is the most gluttonous thing that I can imagine making. Treat yourself. Make some tonight. Fried ball of... No. I'm good. It also, like, you're eating oil.
Starting point is 00:19:48 You feel greasy inside and out when you eat a pound of fried onion. Yeah, but in the moment, great. For like 10 minutes you're having a good time. You just need to pace yourself. Use a smaller onion. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:04 It gets cold and congealed. I love when it's unbelievably obvious none of us have had dinner yet when we're doing PKN. All three of us are hungry. Jackie's making something special. Some sort of peanut
Starting point is 00:20:18 butter chicken thing. I don't know. I've never had it. I lodged a complaint. That seems too harsh. I was really just like, I don't know I've never had it yeah I lodged a complaint that seems like too harsh I was really just like you know she is okay taking a step back I like my father
Starting point is 00:20:34 autistically I'm okay with the same food every single day I think I had lavish for lunch call it 355 days a year for like five years and my dinner there's like three or four meals on rotation well after decades of this i was like i just i'm not excited for anything anyway so we went to wegmans and some other websites.
Starting point is 00:21:06 We actually watched that video Kyle sent us. I think he made like slawy and chicken or something. And we watched that together and picked out some menus that were a nice balance between like challenge of making and the pain pleasure ratio. So tonight is a new meal. Looking forward to it. I think I might have had what you're talking about. Yeah, Spopegian meatballs. What is that?
Starting point is 00:21:29 That's Peggy Hill's twist on spaghetti and meatballs. And this would have been a good trivia question because it's exactly spaghetti and meatballs, except Kyle, let me ask, do you know the secret ingredient in Spopegian meatballs? Part of me wants to say it's just that Peggy has made it.
Starting point is 00:21:49 But the other part thinks that maybe she does hamburger meat instead of fork or something like that. No, there's an episode where Hank is telling her, he's like, Peggy, it's just that we go along with Spapaggy and meatballs, but it's just spaghetti. She's like, but I'm the only one that adds just the right amount of orange juice. There's just something that wouldn't go with it at all. They're just actively ruining it. They have the same meals all the time is what he was alluding to. Bobby gets into cooking as his hobby and he's fantastic at it. He presents this big,
Starting point is 00:22:25 I don't remember what it was, but it was like a standing rack of ribs or something. It was dripping and Peggy's like, it looks terrible. She's shitting on it. She's got this dry pork chop sitting there and Hank's like,
Starting point is 00:22:42 oh, we better eat. Bobby is just to get rid of it. Get it out of here. She's like, oh, we better eat. Bobby is just you know, just to get it, get rid of it, you know, get it out of here. She's like, but Hank, you've got your pork chops there though. You can't eat those tomorrow. That's for Peggy and Meatball Day. You can't eat pork chops. That's for Peggy and Meatball Day.
Starting point is 00:22:58 She's having a meltdown. Bobby is making, he made like a rack of lamb or something. Dad, I made lamb. She's like, she's telling me, Bobby, what are even all these spices? Onion powder? Just like the most basic of basics. And Hank is loving it.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Like, Peg, maybe we let Bobby take over some of the kitchen duties. And she doesn't like it. But I'm glad you're experiencing the peanut chicken i think i literally know the dish you're going to have and it's very good it might be from wegmans i'm not sure a bunch of them are okay but i don't know if wegmans is a national chain or not but it's a grocery store and you can um just like check the box add the cart and all the ingredients go to your cart they take it to your door. Oh, that's convenient. I do the same. I think it's probably going to be
Starting point is 00:23:47 chicken satay. Kyle said that earlier. Have you ever been to a Thai restaurant and you get chicken satay and they have that delicious peanut sauce you dip the chicken in? Damn, I'm hungry. Right just now. Come on over. I'm sure she'll
Starting point is 00:24:04 make money. You need to wait 18 hours i'll be there for dinner tomorrow stir fry is one of my favorites like if i'm cooking like and staying healthy like stir fries the thing yeah just everything it's almost like it's like soup as well i've made soups before and like halfway through making the soup i'm like oh i didn't know i had an old cabbage you're going into and just like it just everything goes in soup the same things with stir fry like any bell peppers or onions or just whatever everything's getting thrown in there with some chicken or steak i love that and then i get that i i was telling you the other day that artificial sugar that i use
Starting point is 00:24:39 they use alcohol sugar but it like i can't digest that stuff i need i need something to help me digest it because it gives me so much gas that I can't stand myself. Like, my ass is hurting from farts. Like, this is enough. I'd rather have the calories and just run them off than eat that fake brown sugar again. This is not on food, but the past 24 hours of fish tank have been absurd. Kyle, have you seen any of the clips? I saw the Twitter clip you sent where there was a sledgehammer involved. It looked like it might have been a croquet mallet.
Starting point is 00:25:20 It is a croquet mallet. Here, I'll put this up here, Zach. It's just a Twitter post. Basically, Jimmy is a dangerous retard who was one of the contestants, and he had already had a snafu with one of the female contestants a couple weeks ago. Oh! Pause this real quick. Pause it, Zach. So the lead-up to this is that this girl, Brittany, is a freeloader. And, you know, fish tank is difficult.
Starting point is 00:25:48 And so she's not a real contestant. As contestants get eliminated, they bring in people called freeloaders who are just meant to kind of ruin their time there and cause problems and and exacerbate drama and such. exacerbate drama and such. And so that phone right there that she's smashing Wow. Don't you fucking do that! You burst in.
Starting point is 00:26:17 You can pause it there. It was just the initial clip. Look at that fucking finishing God of War finishing move he's taking. Mortal Kombat worthy. That girl was like told by the tts like hey take jimmy's phone which is like a six dollar goodwill
Starting point is 00:26:32 toy phone like and destroy it baby's toy that like like production gave it to him like as a joke and he'd been like doing like little bits where he would talk on it in like a crazy way my mind is being changed quickly this girl wilson spaulding you know yeah it's basically what is this movie uh castaway yeah and so this this lunatic jimmy is at the time if you see the clip there's a there's a room in
Starting point is 00:26:59 the house that has fake turf in it and a dog house and is made up to look like it's outside and there's a bell outside the dog house and that's where you start beefs. And so if Kyle and I were in the fish tank and we were contestants, I could go to the thing and go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, and be like, I'm starting beef with Kyle. And then Kyle would have to come in there. Everyone would come in and then Jet or Sam or whoever would come up and be like, all right, your challenge is race around the house. Or who has the better battle rap right now? The better insult comedy routine. Just make them do something retarded. And then the winner gets to go about their day.
Starting point is 00:27:34 The loser has to put on a collar, a leash that chains them to the wall next to the doghouse. They have to stay in the doghouse for the next like 16 hours and part of the rule until noon the next day and so if i challenge kyle to a beef at 6 p.m and he beats me the next 18 hours i'm in the doghouse laying there with half my body out of it and the way it works is that if i would need to go to the bathroom i need to be like kyle kyle take me out take me out and you have to come into the dog house and take the leash and walk me to the bathroom and wait outside while i go well that's just you know i would hope he'd be a good owner for me and i'd be like come on man if you if you'd lost i would have taken you out and stuff the shit like that and so i gave you a diaper this is what
Starting point is 00:28:22 you get for calling me out as as this is happening upstairs, everybody's in the doghouse area because someone had just initiated beef against Jimmy, the hammer swinger. Yeah, there's the doghouse. What? So out of nowhere, I watched this live last night at like 1230, like last thing I did before bed. I'm watching the doghouse challenge, and I just see a bunch of people in chat
Starting point is 00:28:45 going B2, B2, like bedroom two, like B2, B2, Brittany's breaking the phone. Brittany's breaking the phone. Everyone in the house was in the doghouse area other than her. And so I go to B2 and I see this girl like lining up like with girl swings, trying to break that phone. And it was like, it was like a legit horror movie when i saw jimmy arrive at the top of those stairs and there's like a second and a half where jimmy's getting speed and she doesn't realize what's happened yet and i remember being like oh oh like someone someone stop him and he he bursts in shoves her into the corner she screams because she's scared he throws the fucking mallet at her bad news immediately you know jet and the the production are like we're
Starting point is 00:29:33 going we need to go watch a replay of this we need to see what fucking happened they they wrangled jimmy throw him in his own room locked up and you know jet comes up and is like dude jimmy you're off the show like you, we're eliminating you. You can't you cannot do this. That's fucking absurd. Did he hit her with the croquet mallet? I saw he threw it in her direction. I couldn't tell if he made contact.
Starting point is 00:29:53 According to no, he didn't hit her with the croquet mallet. He threw the mallet, but he shoved her. And this was the second incidence of him, like, getting rowdy with a female contestant. Two weeks earlier, a different freeloader in the house, they were doing a contest where one of the most mean-spirited contests. It was so fucking funny. It was like two groups of four against each other. The first part of the challenge, you have to smoke 60 cigarettes as a team as fast as you possibly can. How many team members?
Starting point is 00:30:25 Four to five team members per team. I don't remember if it was four or five. They had to go into a room and just the door closed. They had to smoke 60 cigarettes as fast as they could, immediately following the cigarette smoking competition hot dog eating contest. And so they had to go down there and eat hot dogs. And the team that Jimmy was on was losing. And when they finally finished smoking the cigarettes,
Starting point is 00:30:48 they got blown out in the cigarette portion. The other teams are already almost done with the hot dogs. And so they get down there. And this girl, this freeloader Summer, Jimmy's screaming like, We eat the hot dogs! Eat the fucking hot dogs! Eat the hot dogs!
Starting point is 00:31:02 And she's like, I'm a vegetarian. I'm not eating the hot dogs. And then he like, I'm a vegetarian. I'm not eating the hot dogs. And then he's like, then eat the bread, you fucking bitch. You fucking bitch. Eat the fucking bread, you faggot bitch, retard, cunt. He's losing his mind, screaming at this girl. Eat the fucking bread.
Starting point is 00:31:20 And she eats like two buns maybe. And at this point, the other hot dog the the other hot dog begging for a croquet mallet to the midsection just a different girl weeks apart and this this girl like totally had stopped trying most of the jimmy team members had stopped trying because by this point the opposing team had finished their hot dogs and they were on to the crossfit portion of it which is the final part of the challenge. And so they're all up there with 20 cigarettes each, and I'm having to do burpees, like... Trying to do it.
Starting point is 00:31:52 And Jimmy's just screaming at this girl, like, Eat the fucking bread, you cunt! You cunt! Eat the bread! And she's like, I'm not going to eat the bread anymore. And she's sitting in the kitchen and you can see Sam. Sam is dressed like fucking Yosemite
Starting point is 00:32:10 Sam, like a lunatic. And he's standing in the corner watching Jimmy scream at this 5 foot 2 100 pound soaking wet girl. And she's like, I'm not eating the fucking bread anymore. And he's like, you will eat the bread! Eat the bread!
Starting point is 00:32:24 And so then, she's still sitting there like no and he like lunges at her almost head butts her and screams like a psychotic patient like fight me and yeah he screamed fight me with his head right here and sam had to jump in and be like oh no no no no we don't scream at people and he's jimmy's being held back yes we're being held back screaming like she wouldn't eat the fucking bread she wouldn't eat and so they have to like remove him from things and sam is trying to talk him through it like we don't scream at people we don't threaten people that's not what we're trying to do you know you're just and then the whole time jimmy is just not his wires are not connecting where he just keeps
Starting point is 00:33:11 being like sam or judge because it's judge gold strike it's like judge i get it but this none of this would have happened if she would have fucking ate the bread if she just would have eaten the bread this wouldn't have happened she forced my hands like stuff like that football jimmy would be considered a team leader right jimmy he's the guy who whips the rest of the team in line and it's and drives them to victory jimmy was the basically the ramsey bolton of the house where every time he started losing his mind i'm like what the fuck is jimmy gonna do next because he's an erratic lunatic uh it's been so fucking funny the past 24 hours uh like maybe 20 minutes before we came on this show there was another physical altercation between two of the girl contestants that i didn't see
Starting point is 00:33:57 come out they started yelling and throwing stuff at each other and then one of them keep in mind they've been doing boxing training and fighting training punching training every day and so this one girl just whoo just punches another girl and so then the production had to come be like all right get in the basement in the both of you we need to work this out so it's it's getting pretty fucking wild over there very entertaining fish tank i'm not tank. I'm not sure about this Jimmy situation. I feel like there should have been a kangaroo court assembled
Starting point is 00:34:29 and a judgment made because it just seems like he's defending himself and being a good team leader. If I can imagine, you know how I get over code names. We're not even keeping score. That's $50,000 on the line. You put me on a team
Starting point is 00:34:45 with a girl who's in an eating contest and she can't she tells me that like oh i don't eat meat and it's for how long oh for the last six months i've made a vow i mean thanksgiving of course i ate with family but you know i'm very serious about i'd be like no no you have to eat hot dogs like she should have been eliminated i'm kind of she was she was the bread well that's good like they could have divvied up meat and bread and still respected her diet i i'm with kyle i'm 80 but like you know she could still do her level best and just do Brad. We can make that work. Yeah. But the whole concept of like, it is okay to bully, abuse and destroy other people's stuff. It is not okay to defend yourself.
Starting point is 00:35:33 I'm like, whoa, this really, I don't even know how to behave in this world. You can destroy people's things. And so like, you're a retard. If you bring something,
Starting point is 00:35:43 you really like, and like they're wearing clothes that were provided to them because it's seventies theme. And so like you're a retard if you bring something you really like and and like they're wearing clothes that were provided to them because it's 70s theme and so like if someone breaks in and cuts up somebody's clothes it's not their clothes that got cut up it's like clothes that production gave you have no clothes now yeah if something like that happens you're just out of like tj one of the contestants had his shirt stolen and then just didn't have a shirt for like two straight weeks was walking around without a shirt on and he was anti-confrontational and so like the person who he was going around like did someone take my shirts and then the person that stole him was like yeah i saw production come up and steal all your shirts and he's like oh okay and that was that was
Starting point is 00:36:19 it but like this guy jimmy had been given so many chances because after he screamed, fight me to that girl after the fucking bread eating incident, that girl got to decide, like, does does Jimmy get eliminated for this or does Jimmy get to stay? And he has to sign a document that says he will not come within 10 feet of any female contestants, a restraining order. And so for like five days, there was a restraining order where like he had to keep moving out. But slowly that kind of phased out. He seemed to be going back to like a less loon, less of a loon. And this society, this last night one was insane. Like the mallet inside. The only thing that you wouldn't be.
Starting point is 00:37:00 I just watched it. He's a lunatic. Oh, OK. Like if I saw more of him like you would you guys would both identify him as uh an erratic retard right away where he'd be like oh this guy like he clearly has huge issues with women like he's always he's like a habitual liar always like making up stories and stuff it was he was a fucking weirdo but he helped create content and so I enjoyed
Starting point is 00:37:26 him. I don't like that either. That's hard to defend. But I put myself in that... I guess I daydream about how I do in the fish room, and I think my buttons might be too easy to push in that I just couldn't live in a world where they're allowed to push my buttons all the time, and I'm supposed to just
Starting point is 00:37:44 take it on the nose. You'd have to... Well, it's mostly contestant to contestant or contestant to freeloader. So the way you would do it is like, oh, you found out that fucking somebody cut up your shorts, and they put your toothbrush in the garbage disposal. You can't hit them, but you can go out of your way to be like, okay, you're my bitch now. I'm finding all your shit, and I'm destroying all of it any challenge we have i'm doing this i'm going to the doghouse and i'm starting to beef with you because i want to make sure you're in the doghouse for the next 20 hours and i'm not every time i need to pass gas expect me to visit
Starting point is 00:38:16 empty my bowels in there so this was i watched that show it's's one of those Alaska survival shows with teams of people. And this exact thing is what caused the downfall of the show. It was the ability to do whatever you wanted to the other team shit, but they couldn't beat you up. The show almost immediately ended when someone like, you sure that's what you mean by the rules? Are you sure that's what the rules are, cameraman? All right, let's go to their side and take all their warm things in Alaska away. And it's the game's over now because like half the people don't want to work with these shit heels who would steal someone's sleeping bags in Alaska at night.
Starting point is 00:38:57 And the other half is like, yeah, we've got all the sleeping bags now. Fuck y'all. And so like bunches of them, swabs of them quit. And they set up a challenge that the cheaters I guess couldn't win and just
Starting point is 00:39:07 let the other people win. And this all happens in the course of like two episodes. It's like the show immediately goes downhill and is ruined when you can do that. Now what I would like is like a trial by combat. Oh, you didn't like what Jimmy
Starting point is 00:39:23 did? Jimmy, you gonna represent yourself or would you like to name a trial by combat oh you didn't like what jimmy did jimmy name you're gonna represent yourself or would you like to name a champion i got me i stands on my business sam has had them do that like there have been breaks where that's what oh one one of the one of the contestants like this five foot ten guy was like tired of judge sam like uh coming after him with stuff and so this guy started a beef with sam a contestant he's like i'm starting a beef and then he's like with who and he's like with judge and so then sam comes up there in his fucking cowboy boots and lifts and his top hat looking enormous with his padded shoulder thing. And he's like doing his his ridiculous voice where he's like, all right, you're starting beef with me, TJ.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Well, let's go grab the boxing gloves. And so then he doesn't the beef starter get to choose how the beef is conducted. The production just picks a beef. If you can find the clip of Judge fighting TJ, you can pull that up, Zach. I'd appreciate it. He pieced up. Not like he obviously could have killed this guy if he wanted to,
Starting point is 00:40:42 but because he called out the head host of the show, Sam had to kind of take him to task a little bit. And technically, TJ won because in the middle of getting beat up by this giant man, Sam, Sam pops him in the face and TJ's stunned. And Sam's like, we want to be done we're done with this
Starting point is 00:41:06 and TJ did that like fucking Randy Marsh like I didn't hear no bell he's 10 inches shorter than Sam, way smaller, he's like no and so then Sam goes like like hits him a couple more times and yeah here's the TJ
Starting point is 00:41:22 Sam boxing match oh no no pushing him around more than punching you want to throw that left oh okay watch the mantle the heart
Starting point is 00:41:43 I can hear the girls gasping. That left is so brutal. He's still on fire. He's throwing it from his fucking waist. Oh my god. That straight right is good too. Look at him. Go back up because he keeps going.
Starting point is 00:42:06 This is when he says no. He's not done. He says no and hits the gloves again. He said think it, dream it, do it. That's the TTS. TJ. Keep going. Think it, dream it, do it.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Is that only using Blade's voice? Think it, dream it, do it. We've got to stop. No. We gotta stop. We gotta stop. We gotta stop. You got the boss. Oh, no. Did he say you're not the boss?
Starting point is 00:42:35 He said, no, you got the boss. Yeah. And this is after... Kicking his ass and then reminding him he's not the boss i was like i can kick in his ass twice that is funny but no he was like he gained a lot of respect he gained a lot of respect in the tank that day and that was after that guy who got in the fight showed up in the tank with like two foot long luscious locks of hair and now he's a skinhead
Starting point is 00:43:02 because for part of the challenge he had to shave it and then he lost. There have been so many fucking funny moments. I'm hoping that losing a couple of these guys doesn't impact it too much. He made them take... He came in as Dr. Goldstriker yesterday and he made them take autism and IQ tests and then ranked
Starting point is 00:43:20 them based on IQ and had them stand in line and was like, first place, Taylee with 134 second place, Jimmy with 126. And then I don't remember a lot of the other ones. And one of the freeloaders is this really loud and obnoxious gay black guy. He got an 82 on the IQ test, an 82,
Starting point is 00:43:43 which is literally borderline retarded borderline retarded it was very very funny not exactly that but I keep getting these YouTube shorts from teachers and they're talking about I guess the pandemic really threw a wrench into an already cluttered
Starting point is 00:44:00 machine of education and so they're like my kids can't read my kids can't spell my kids my kids don't know what conjugation is my kids don't know and and then it's it's what it's a montage by the way like you're and it's every grade i got high schoolers that can't even sit in or sit up sit in a chair for 20 minutes like they can they can't... They're illiterate. They're fucking illiterate. They couldn't... None of them... I mean, there's the funny one where
Starting point is 00:44:29 they don't know how to re-clock. I guess a lot of people, like Gen Z doesn't know how to re-clock anymore. I have a hard time believing it. I have a hard time believing it too, but these teachers tell me they can't fucking spell. And they're like 16. Like, can't fucking... You they're like 16 like can't fucking well that and i you know what that that's okay yeah like words like really thriving life
Starting point is 00:44:53 i bet like they can't spell their i bet i know they can't spell their five and six letter words yet and they're like driving age and it's like this isn't gonna cut it the i don't know i think i think every generation says that but at some point there's truth to like when kids can't read and write and tell you what time it is with a fucking clock um i guess i could understand i remember lots of it of um standardized testing involving the hands of clocks i remember that like there's a whole section with like hands of a clock and like how long will it be until lunchtime tuesday it's monday oh shit let's figure this out like that's a hard thing when you're in like second grade i don't think that a high schooler could do that
Starting point is 00:45:37 now if they don't have a real fucking clock because they don't know what the hands do okay the big hands got to be the hours that's pretty embarrassing suspected very like can kids read a clock well i don't know tell me the housing prices of the school that you're going to and i'll let you know if they can read a clock if the if the median home price is half a million dollars those kids can read a clock just fine dude people are right all those teachers who are like if you know you're not going to be able to know how to spell if you just use spell check for everything. You're not going to be... They were kind of right about that.
Starting point is 00:46:12 There's no reason for kids to know how to read an analog clock now, and so they can't. Think of how if chat GPT gets huge, the same way spelling and reading a clock face is by the wayside if people are using chat gpt and ai for like all critical thinking that will fade i think the plop to wally having gone through school without having us having gone through and a lot of people having gone through school without smartphones has to be a huge advantage like you had to actually do things but there was no cheat button this seems like a cheat button if i'm in school like if i'm going back to like testing day and it's like oh my god if i just
Starting point is 00:46:50 knew if i just knew the answer to this question then i know the answer to the next four questions but i can't remember that one little thing i can't remember the character's name and it's just like fucking oedipus's brother of course fucking all right now I went from making like a 72 to like an 84 like it's a whole huge difference and but I'm just imagining all the ways you could use technology now to just come straight up cheap the ability that you're like James James Bond just having the camera and being able to like take pictures of like anything that's on the teacher's desk if I could get into the teacher's room and i could and like have access to her desk with a camera phone i would have every test i used to do that anyway like i would there was plenty of times when like you could go in
Starting point is 00:47:33 there and be at her desk or do things if you were the kid who was friendly with her oh do you need something from your desk miss walker i'm over there rifling through shit but if i had had a camera phone to document and like, I don't know. I don't think I had to cheat. Oh, I had to do analog style cheating. The way I cheated was like filling out index cards and then like wearing a coat on,
Starting point is 00:47:55 on like a day in may, just like having a really weak coat. And then just having like the zipper down a little bit. And I got a note card in there that shows me how to conjugate the Italian verbs. And I'm just like having a really weak coat and then just having like the zipper down a little bit and i got a note card in there that shows me how to conjugate the italian verbs and here's my move oh i was in the zone my move is to put the notes on the desk they're on the desk as i'm working bouncing around so much well the the you know the test that i'm going to take is in science class. I'm writing science notes on the desk. I've got the book and I'm just putting them all
Starting point is 00:48:29 on the wooden desk. The week leading up to it, you're just writing notes on the desk. Well, maybe just the day of the test. I'm just like, alright, I know this is about the makeup of a cell or a fucking mitochondria or whatever. I put my fucking summarize this shit, write it on my desk.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Cover it with my test. They're not looking for... They're not peeling it up and looking at the script. There's scribble all over our desk. There's fucking pentagrams and shit. That was never failed. The one with the angles, the S. The fucking silly S.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Yeah, I remember I would do that sometimes. Anarchy. Like singular, possessive, or whatever, and write all the conjugations for whatever Italian words it was, and then it'd go to turn in my test every single time, because the last thing
Starting point is 00:49:17 I do is I smudge all of the cheating I did, so just a palm full of graphite handing in my test every single time. I've also done this. This one is ingenious if you ask me. I think this was for spelling. I would write the
Starting point is 00:49:34 words very clearly and legibly, but small on the marker board. Up in the corner or something. And no one would not... Now I have notes that no one can blame on me. I have like, whoops, looks like someone forgot to erase the corner
Starting point is 00:49:50 of the marker board. There's that hard word. What was your teacher doing that you could just go write all the words for spelling up there? Not all the words, but maybe the one I was having a problem with. I would put notes up there, like cheats up there behind her and the board's huge right spelling of course spelling spelling just easy peasy baby i was like i i loved spelling spelling
Starting point is 00:50:17 tests were my jam especially as a kid like like grade school because i was always like oh here comes the the time where i feel like a fucking genius because all these dumbasses don't know some words have a PH for an F sound. I remember when I was in fifth grade, they're like, what's your worst subject? I wrote down spilling because
Starting point is 00:50:36 it was like the funniest thing. Come high school, it's not funny. And what's your favorite? Launch. And I like Gaim. Gaim and Launch. Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:50:54 Oh, alright. Oh, I caught up on For All Mankind. Me too. I really like that. I didn't recognize that that was the same North Korean, but for Taylor's benefit, the Mars is kind of a
Starting point is 00:51:12 triumvirate kind of thing where you have the United States, the Soviet Union, and North fucking Korea. How did they get in the mix? They were actually the first one there. China? Here's what happened. This is a bit of a spoiler,
Starting point is 00:51:28 but you don't seem to want to watch the show because you have bad taste. They have, like, they essentially have a new moon race. It's the Mars race. And in the running, you have the United States of America, NASA, you have the Soyuz program over in the Soviet
Starting point is 00:51:44 Union. You have a third party that's like the world's Elon Musk. He's this black super genius guy who's really dead set on this thing. Helios, I think, is his company. Then in secret, North Korea is like,
Starting point is 00:51:58 we're in it too. They don't tell. They just go. What they do, like everybody else, everybody else, nobody even knows what's, everyone else sends these almost trillion dollar whole group of astronauts are inside.
Starting point is 00:52:14 They have some sort of fancy secret plasma energy engines. It's a whole thing, just like the moon race where there's failures and setbacks. They also bring, when they get there, they have
Starting point is 00:52:25 what they call HABs, but we'll call them little buildings and stuff. Habitats. Yeah. They're planning to stay. They're going to land. They're setting down routes, essentially, and they're there for the long haul. Eventually, they're going back home, but this is a big science mission. It's a big deal to get there first,
Starting point is 00:52:41 obviously, because who's going to put the first boot on the moon? The North Koreans don't give a shit about any of that jazz. They take one man, I think. They put him in one rocket. They give him a bunch of cans of tuna, and they launch him at Mars as fast as his little shit rocket will go. And he's the first man to Mars.
Starting point is 00:53:01 This poor North Korean is like, I think maybe he had friends but they all died that could have one friend and didn't they have a gun did the one kill the other i'm not sure um but i do know they had no hab and they had no way home they just won the race to mars with this kamikaze mission good for them that's exactly like they sent a kamikaze mission and then and then of course there's this huge crazy crazy moment where the Americans meet the North Korean. And he's like, you know how they are. He's like, oh, this is this is the North Korean planet.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Whoa, buddy. Let's talk about this. How many cans of tuna you got left? So do they invite him in? Is there a debate, like a moral thing where they're like are we gonna leave him to die on mars and then we'll see this show's really good about not wasting a lot of time and resting on their laurels once they get to mars and everything stabilizes in three or four or five episodes they get they do like a 10 year later kind of thing and now mars is like a little
Starting point is 00:54:02 mini city and we're with like bureaucracy and mars bucks and shit um and and you know and now the north koreans and everybody's under one roof essentially in the in this time period and the north koreans have their own little north korean side of the base where the door is locked and they're all in there with their uniforms all stuffy nasa and the soviet union are a partnership and they do everything together more than just friends, they're practically the same team they'll have a Russian pilot and an American whatever co-pilot
Starting point is 00:54:34 North Korea on the other hand has their own section, you're not allowed over there there's strict security there's guards in front of any door that leads, they're not part of the team but they're still connected not part of the team. But they're still connected, part of the mission. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:52 It's neat. I enjoy that show. I will get to that show maybe at some point. And you will be overjoyed. You're far behind at this point. You will be overjoyed. No, I'm North Korea. I'm going to fire right to the front. I'm going to just watch all the episodes. You know what I'll do? to fire right to the front. I'm going to just watch all the episodes. No, you're not.
Starting point is 00:55:08 You know what I'll do? I'll jump into the series. Whatever's current right now, I'll just start. I'll put the pieces together. Season finale this Friday. We're on season five, I think. Season finale is Friday. Do you think that Ed Baldwin's plan will work? Yes. Ed Baldwin is going to steal the asteroid.
Starting point is 00:55:24 They will have it on Mars. Next Baldwin is going to steal the asteroid. They will have it on Mars. Next season will be all about the whole. Mars is going to become its home fucking colony, city, superpower of its own. And I think it's going to be. You may even see this. I'm hesitant to say this because they just had Gorbachev get taken out. So it seems like the Soviet American thing is distancing itself. I think that once you
Starting point is 00:55:47 have a Mars versus Earth scenario, there's going to be more of that's going to bring them back together next season. I think that's where we're going 100%. People are going to die in the taking of this asteroid. It's going to be a shit show. A lion's going to be drawn in the sand.
Starting point is 00:56:03 It's like, are you a martian or an earthling motherfucker or a terran you know like like we got we've got the rock like we've got the power it's gonna be interesting like are they gonna send military soviets would the soviets would send soldiers to like take their the rock back one thing taylor that's kind of cool is um like so this thing's been existing for like 10-15 years and no one knew it but this kgb and cia agents embedded in there and like the station commander is like i think his name might be jimmy like jimmy you you've been cia this whole time and i and like i'm the xo i don't know and he's like i wouldn't be a very good cia agent if you knew it's like yeah fuck you know and and
Starting point is 00:56:43 the cia agent i, knew who the KGB agent was. Those two are doing spycraft this whole fucking time, and no one else even knows that spycraft is happening. You gotta space those guys. Send them out in the vacuum. I think they needed them for something.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Who will subvert our new colony? Not for these guys I'm a big I tell you what I love Ed and I like back him 100% and so that means that I have very strong opinions about other characters who are meant
Starting point is 00:57:15 to be well I kind of agree with them but most of the time nah fuck all y'all I'm on Ed's side so I've drawn a line as well first of all I hate his daughter she is just the most annoying cunt. Smile once,
Starting point is 00:57:30 lady. Just once. You're here, okay? They gave you all the money you begged and whined for. They sent you to the planet you wanted to go to yourself. They let you bring your dirty fucking sick kid. Your daddy's right there there and what are you doing
Starting point is 00:57:45 whining daddy why don't you spend some more time with me because i'm trying to steal 12 trillion dollars worth of iridium you dirty tailors benefit you bitch she's up there trying to do science and specifically she wants to find life and she has this way of finding methane which unbeknownst to me is a byproduct of bacteria. So she might find bacteria, which could maybe lead to some other kind of life. And she's using methane as the telltale for finding life. And she's kind of relegated to this, like, all right, pat her on the head. You go over there, look for life.
Starting point is 00:58:21 We're trying to make money. Yeah. Okay. Well, I will get to her right after. And she's Asian. That's the problem, though. She's Asian. And she's like an ugly one, too. Like one of the really unfortunate black people. Yes! She's not. No!
Starting point is 00:58:35 She's hideous. Her face is a weird, wrinkly, and odd way. I'm sick of ugly people on TV. I wouldn't want someone who looked like me on TV. I want attractive, svelte, good jaw lines good physiques big tits like there's some fatties on mars too i've been noticing that and i'm like i don't think they'd have flown your fat ass you can't be fat on mars that's selfish i don't know what it like they always talk about the price per like pound or
Starting point is 00:59:02 kilo to get it into just into orbit much less to fucking mars it's like ten thousand dollars a pound or something there's no way you're hiring a woman 30 pounds overweight yeah there's no fucking way that's are you saying kelly baldwin is the fat one no kelly's like a of course she's thin and ugly like but there's a fat bitch like like sweeping up and on mars i've seen several fatties over there and you can tell they're like lifetime time fatties they didn't get to mars and then plumped up on that. I've seen several fatties over there. You can tell they're lifetime fatties. They didn't get to Mars and then plumped up on that gruel they eat over there. If anything, they probably thinned down recently.
Starting point is 00:59:32 When they showed up originally, they were full of arties. I found a picture of Taylor Baldwin. I want Taylor to weigh in on whether she's ugly or not I mean I don't think she's smoking or anything but she doesn't she's not stand out ugly if you look from the
Starting point is 00:59:52 side profile she disappears she's got like assistant deputy secretary of transportation this is the least forgettable who cares you know what I mean, though? Someone who would be standing in the back
Starting point is 01:00:07 who draws no attention while someone's talking about how we've got a new federal policy for paint. She's not Hollywood pretty. I'm not trying to argue that. Show me one where she's more greasy and flat-faced. This is her best angle. I'll be honest, her brow is always furrowed.
Starting point is 01:00:24 She's got resting bitch face. This is the, there you look constantly, constantly. This. She just looks like the most, well, she's a Chinese lady.
Starting point is 01:00:33 So she must, she might be the most average looking person on the planet. Probably. She's literally the average, huh? I think it's a man. I think there's more men than women in China. You're probably right. That picture to me is a our little flattering the one that's on the screen right
Starting point is 01:00:48 now there's more women one i chose that i chose it to be very neutral it's not her worst look but it is a common look like this is just her at work is she pretty not ugly though like she doesn't stand out to me as like a really unfortunate looking she's a perfect five like just the most average of average like i would i wouldn't look at her and think wow what an uggo but i also wouldn't think you know what you know what i think made her win my heart a little bit she's a bit of a slut like she went to mars and there is like no infrastructure this is that first race kyle was talking about. They land. It's men.
Starting point is 01:01:25 The Russian ship broke. So they took all the Soviets and put them on NASA ship and they do not have room or food for any of this. But what does she do? She fucks the Russians. This chick splits her legs like immediately. She's ball bone in this dude. And I'm like,
Starting point is 01:01:42 all right, I like her. She's a Mars or I forgot. I like her she's a Mars whore I forgot that she was a Mars whore she had that fucking commie baby and it came out so Asian like it came out so Asian
Starting point is 01:01:55 she's adopted Chinese and her baby came out extra Chinese her being adopted doesn't make her less Chinese ethnically like well i'm not suggesting that but but her fucking a russian should make her baby a little bit less chinese oh she fucked like a white russian guy she gave her the sulu baby just met the guy she just met him he came out wielding chopsticks raw dogging on mars with him and kyle's blasting her no we should be praising her. Where do you get a calculator in the womb?
Starting point is 01:02:26 Wow, that's very Asian of him. I hate. I guess he wouldn't. That part of the show I hate. I want her to die and I want her to die soon. I say it every episode that I want Kelly Baldwin to die. I want her dirty child to die and I want Ed to get
Starting point is 01:02:42 that dirty child she brought. Isn't that kind of cool? No, he's all weird and spastic and socially awkward. He climbed through the HVAC vents to steal things to sabotage the asteroid mission. You gotta like him. That is literally the only thing he has
Starting point is 01:02:58 ever done and it happened last episode at the end. Okay, I'm remembering back when Ed is trying to connect with his grandson and he's doing the family tradition of putting the cheap Parmesan on their spaghetti, too much of it at that, and then mixing it up and eating it. Cause they've been doing this shit, Taylor, since 1966. Okay. Since 1966, we've been following these people and they've been putting that Parmesan on their spaghetti and mixing it up and eating it and the little chinese boy is on mars with his grandpa and his evil mom and they're eating he's like look what i got mars skeddy and she's like
Starting point is 01:03:30 look what i got cheap parmesan from earth and he goes here you go you little spastic fuck that's just staring at the floor and won't make eye contact with me and he goes no and he stirs it, yeah, it's gonna be good. And he, like, gets up, like, shoulders all weird, and, like, walks away, like, super awkwardly. And the grandpa's like, what the fuck? What the fuck was that? And she
Starting point is 01:03:55 goes, I can't believe you tried to give him cheese. Don't you know how Asian he is? Don't you know? Kill him. He's a strict diet of laughs his preference on the kid putting if Ed Baldwin put his
Starting point is 01:04:10 cheese on my spaghetti I'd be like bro you've had 50 years of skeddy eating experience the boy had never seen this shit before he's like let me show you how Baldwins do it fellow Baldwin youngling my ancestors I am your ancestor let me show you how
Starting point is 01:04:26 we do this this is the family tradition me and your mother are bonding right now you can't even comprehend so pro-ed that i wanted the child to be here's i i felt like the child i wanted them to throw the spaghetti on the floor and make the child clean it up or throw cold water in his face or smack him or send him down to level four where they would kill for Skeddy. You know, where they're down there
Starting point is 01:04:54 eating that alcohol made with the old refrigerator. For Taylor's benefit, they have been... Ed Baldwin, the lead character, does a poor job interfacing with children for all five or six seasons. You put him with a kid and he's just screaming at the kid, you can't learn to ride a bike
Starting point is 01:05:11 faster, what the fuck is wrong with you? The kid's scared and in tears. This was just yet another Ed Baldwin intimidating of child. I don't like this guy. I't like ed one he's literally one thing you've said and i guess i'm never watching this show so that's my decision is made i'm back
Starting point is 01:05:33 into age of empires 2 now so that's what i'm doing it's such a teed off against bob it's a good show i feel like this season lost it i i'm not saying that I've given up on the show. Just this is the worst season so far. Yeah, I agree, too. Yeah. Mostly because I there are characters that I hate. They were spending too much time on. And there are timelines that I hate.
Starting point is 01:05:55 They were spending much time on. And the things that I care the most about, which is the science progression, the spacey shit, flying spaceships, accomplishing things, big missions and goals and the cooperation as well as the i don't know whatever the opposite of cooperation is like in the face of needing to the soviets will sometimes like put their thumb in the americans eye you know like even though they need them they they i murdered a guy last episode that was kind of wild kgb came in and blew a guy's brains out um But yeah, this season has lost the plot a little bit. I think you're two episodes behind, Kyle. I feel like you haven't seen the most current one. There's only one episode left
Starting point is 01:06:31 and it comes out Friday. It's possible that what I just said, I watched both episodes back to back last night. I think you were like one episode ago. I was like, that was two episodes ago, but I'll just let it go anyway i just watched them at the same time that's what it is last night yeah so yeah i i might you nailed it another time we talked about this show when you
Starting point is 01:06:54 said that most of this show isn't even a space show anymore it exists inside this mars habitat and i mean it's obviously filmed in a studio and it lacks some of the magic that happens when they're doing actual space travel yeah yeah they'll spend there was several episodes building up to a landing and you don't know if the landing is going to go well doesn't always go well there's been no landings this time or if there have been their routine like anything and part of the part of the charm of the show initially for sure was oh it's the 60s it's the 70s it's the 80s as they move along and now it's like the early 2000s and it's like that's just how shit looks you know and i don't know they don't go outside in the real world i don't know, they don't go outside in the real world. I don't know if they, everything's inside a room somewhere.
Starting point is 01:07:45 And, uh, and, and I'm, I'm, I'm noticing that more and more. So, yeah,
Starting point is 01:07:49 I don't know. Hopefully, uh, it'll end on a strong note this Friday. Yeah. Yeah. I look forward to seeing it. I guess we should wrap.
Starting point is 01:07:57 I know my food's ready. Yep. All right. PKN 490.

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