Painkiller Already - PKN 493

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

pkn493 how are you boys doing solid doing good how are you guys good it's a good day i got bonus groceries i ordered groceries explain this concept to me yeah so i ordered my groceries not at all no they fucked up i got free groceries um okay i ordered like $125 for the groceries. I don't know. It was some groceries, whatever. And they arrive, and I go to my doorstep, and I start gathering the bags up and bringing them to the house. And I'm like, I'm seeing a lot of stuff that doesn't look familiar. A lot of stuff that doesn't even go in my house.

Like there's turkey spam. There's frozen salmon patties. Stuff you're not interested in. There's bottles of wine and uh and so i had actually let him sit on my doorstep for maybe 10 minutes because i was busy doing something else and it's cold outside it's not gonna fucking matter so i had missed all these calls from the person like i gave you the wrong stuff i'm coming back to get it well she never did apparently so and i've already put it away. I didn't know.

It was in my house. And so she's upset because she really fucked up. So when they deliver alcohol, they're supposed to have you come to the door and scan your ID so the kids don't. So I'm calling. Did you forget? Yeah. So I call Instagram or, excuse me, Instacart.

And I don't know. I got all those groceries for free. And then they sent me my original order for free for. Damn. Nice. What are you doing with your king's ransom of salmon patties and turkey spam? I have no idea. What about good stuff?

I guarantee there was a there was good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was some some pink lemonade that looks really tasty i'm gonna i'm gonna try that uh there was uh like the powder kind or like no like a like a big jug of pink lemonade like um that donald sutherland brand can't remember the name of it donald sutherland you know donald the old guy's like oh it's the best oranges in the world. You hear his gravelly voice? Oh, yeah. The kind of pulp. Yeah, no, no pulp, no.

I like a little pulp sometimes. I like a lot of pulp. I like to chew. I like pulp too. We're in the opposite end of the... We didn't get free groceries. My wife's coming home and there are these fucking sluts in the subdivision with their short little skirts. Long story short, Jackie ends up with an empty

wallet and an arm filled with cookies. And they fleeced her for everything she had on her. But you're kind of, that's you love sugar, and so that's a fleecing that you're kind of, you're like, oh no. I'm a victim of this story

stuff in your face watching tv later tonight like oh i hope those girls never leave jackie down so i have plausible deniability in my snack tree so there's nothing that good though kyle i'm trying to think there was some ground beef i mean that's always good you know i'm going to eat that for sure you donated the wine to the children's hospital what no she came back for the wine it was that was that was the funny part she like i was talking to i was talking to the instacart people and i'm like she's like yeah they're gonna come back and they're gonna get groceries and i'm like those groceries are in the cabinet they're in my pantry and i and i was like and you know, to be honest, if my groceries had gone to someone else's house,

I wouldn't want them back. I was like, I don't want something that's been in someone else's refrigerator. You know what I mean? And she's like, yes, I completely understand. So with her terribly hidden Indian accent. And so she's like. Let me tell you, there is nothing similar that pisses me off here in my Nashville home. The same thing happened to me.

So then it became a bit of a ransom situation. It became a bit of a ransom situation then because they needed the alcohol back. And I was like, oh, but you're double fisting. You're playing Amy Winehands. I was like, I guess're double fisting you're playing you're playing amy wine hands yeah i was like i guess i could get the wine back i was it isn't a bottle after all i was like i'll put it on the porch and they can bring my order back and she came and took the bottles off my porch and did not bring my order wait you never got your food they had to do like a full reorder and give me some discounts and stuff but the original order i guess that lady just kept it she was uh she was one of those mean-faced black women who wanted your groceries

she saw what you're buying and she had to have it maybe i think she was just bad at her job and pouty because she called me and she was like blah blah blah blah blah and i was like ah actually i'm not at home i'm at work my girl i ordered the groceries and my wife put them away. How's she to know that those aren't the right groceries? He's like, well, I'm going to come back and I'm going to pick them up. I was like, I don't think I feel comfortable with that. Then she hung up on me. Quiet for one second. I'm raiding.

It's really hard to sound horrible. Shut up, bitch. You've ruined my day with the groceries and now you've ruined my raid in the game. I've been trying to... You gave up your golden ticket too soon.

You need to hold on to those wine bottles a little longer. The evidence in case they didn't give you the discounts. But I imagine you're such a regular customer

like with Amazon that when they see you upset, they're like, oh, this is our premium gold triple crown member. I'm definitely a platinum member. I order all of my groceries there. And, you know, it's whatever it takes to feed people. It's like around the grocery store. Like I prefer to go and like just grab stuff.

It's not that hard. I mean, I live real close to one that I go to. And so it's not a big deal. I live 0.7 miles away. You don't like to? And then you can find something new there. You can be like, oh, a new flavor of pork rinds in a torso size bag? Everything's on the site. Everything's on the site.

And the deals are on the site. I don't trust the substitutions. I've had bad substitution luck, and I don't like that. I have an Instac the cart question but you guys know the answer so when i order i only do it when i'm traveling but that uber eats you know when they bring your food to the hotel the prices are not the same you know it's like fuck i don't remember wendy's charging 17 for a spicy chicken sandwich yeah now when you say you see discounts on instacart are they still high like it aren't

no paying more for every item so there's so there's two things you can do it depends how quickly you want your groceries so you can order like let's say it's kroger there'll be two kroger apps you can click one or links one of them is just kroger and it has in-store pricing so the prices are virtually the same maybe 10 cents higher or something. But the other one is if you want this shit in like 30 minutes and the minimum order is $10. So $10 and you get free delivery. And basically lunch.

Yeah. Sometimes I'll do lunch there because it's cheaper to do that, to just order from the deli than it would be to order from like a sandwich place. It'd be $22 to order a fucking Jimmy John's sandwich or I could order from the deli for $10. And Jimmy John's is fine. uh so yeah the prices are are comparable but then like i'm i've never in my life been in one of those people who's gonna clip fucking coupons and like figure

out what deals are but on your phone it's like you push a button and it's like it's you find you realize that if you order one more six-pack it's basically free or something. There's lots of that going on. There's lots of, um, I raid the buy one, get one free section. And I just, my,

my, my deep freeze is full of stuff. I'm never going to eat. It's a problem. Just cause you're, you might discover more deals buying online than you would like fucking 100% halls. Yeah.

I don't think we have those deals in store. How much is Instacart like annual membership rate that you have to pay to be a part of that maybe 90 something like that i think i paid like i think i paid like the annual like like one big chunk rather than the monthly it's one not 90 a month no no like 90 a year like 90 a year something like it's like barely anything um but i spend a lot you know i order my groceries there if you use it it's a fine deal. If you don't use it, it's the kind of leech that sucks onto your debit card and stays there. Forget about it. I got so mad when I discovered Hulu too, like a year and a half ago. And I was like,

oh, this is like an email I used eight years ago. How much has Hulu gotten out of me? If I were to open this Hulu account, it would show like King of the Hill and it'd be like suggested for you. Like that's how long ago it would be. Yeah. You got to change your debit cards like maybe once a year and just shed all of that because I have, um, I'll go in and check my emails for, for those things because I'll be playing like Game Genie or something, some map website for games. Oh, yeah. Or some VPN service.

I remember I was using a VPN service once that would get you better lobbies for Tarkov or maybe Call of Duty. It got around skill-based matchmaking. That's what it did. I don't remember how it did it, but it was like $6 a month and we'll cut this shit out. We were sponsored by Crunchyroll, I think, for a while.

I think it was then. They did anime, like a Netflix anime. We did this promotion for it where we watched it together and talked about Attack on Titan. I paid for that thing two and a half years after we stopped. We had nothing to do with them anymore.

I'm like, fuck, I think I broke even on this promo. This is bullshit. I think it was only five bucks a month. See, I saved money by never even logging in to the country. Chiz was like, you can watch free fucking Pokemon. And it's like tight. No thanks. Dude, everybody's obsessed with Pal world have you have you touched it yet no but all of my friends are also like they're on like

yeah yeah i mean i've seen it yeah that's right we were we were doing our uh our patreon hangout a couple days ago and and and one of our guys fish his pal world uh base he's like this is where i keep the slaves that are good and it's like there's it's like a green field with with some trees and all the pokemon are happy and like it shows their status and it's like confident happy joyous relaxed and then he's like hops on like, he throws his pal sphere down. Pal sphere. And a unicorn with wings or whatever comes out and he flies that bitch over the mountain

to this dark Mordor-like place with lightning and thunderstorms and the ground is barren. And there's nothing, there's naught, but four or five chunks of ore. And he's like, this is where I keep the bad ones. They're working. They he's like, this is where I keep the bad ones. And they're working. They're all like mining that ore that he's got them living in.

And I'm like, what he's like, how? Their status was depressed. Yeah, depressed. Depressed. Frightened. Frightened. And the way Fish talked about them was so Nazi. He's like, these motherfuckers didn't work hard enough they're

gonna go here level up maybe get their act straight and work their way back to nirvana god damn dude the way that he had like he was just casually like because i'd never seen these mechanics in the game he like pulled up that menu that's like you can select how grueling their workload should be he was like right now i just have them in hard work not grueling their workload should be. He was like, right now I just have them in hard work, not grueling hard work. Grueling? And there was like symbols of characters. Icons, yeah. And like

easy work. There's like a happy guy and he's just joyously swinging a pickaxe. Think maybe like one of the seven dwarves and then hard work. And the guy's clearly given some exertion. His brow is furrowed. And then it's like clearly given some exertion his eye his brow is furrowed and then it's like grueling effort and then the thing's got like black circles under its eyes it's emaciated it's all just working them to death yeah apparently it's unbelievably fun and i'm gonna have to play

it soon sooner than later it has legs like do you think this game will be popular for a long time? I think that Pokemon has such a hold on people that this is going to surf off of that because this is what people wanted in an open world Pokemon game was more interaction with the Pokemon and everything.

I think it will remain very popular just because it's astoundingly similar to Pokemon. So I think it will remain very popular just because it's, and it's like, it's going to evolve. It's astoundingly similar to Pokemon, the art style, the names.

It's shocking. Yeah. Zach said exactly what I'm thinking. Like when, when they add a PVP aspect where you can raid bases, then there will be, you know, there'll be a reason to perfect mechanics.

It's already seems like a game with a big time sink, just judging by how the boys have been playing, grinding 8-12 hours a day. And so, I don't know. Games like that become very addictive and they only usually die when the creators don't innovate or they try to

cash in or they get sued. So, hopefully none of those things happened. We'll see. I'm not that good at predicting how long a game will be popular. I wouldn't have guessed CSGO, which is really suit so hopefully none of those things happened we'll see i'm not that good at predicting how long a game will be popular like i wouldn't have guessed cs go which is really i guess it's simple and complicated at the same time um minecraft good gosh that thing has had the longest legs of any game perhaps ever built um it's true fortnite i thought that thing was going to be flash in the pan a Fortnite is an innovator.

I thought Apex Legends would last longer than it did. Oh. I don't know. I played Apex. I don't want to say that it was a go broke thing, but that was one of the things that I noticed that a lot of the hardcore guys were just like, wait, what the fuck? How many? is there a straight character in the game no well straight up nazi well tim's non-binary but but he likes girls

but he's got a pussy right we don't call it that okay that's that's gender affirming language or it's like all the characters apex did they make the the characters ugly i don't like that in game they're like cartoony and wacky in that game. Don't even think normal human beings. It's like crazy sci-fi ones. They're silly stuff. I didn't like it.

I was real bad at it. I was okay in a squad. But God, some of those people are so much better than me clicking on heads that's why i like tarkov i can hide in the bush that it doesn't matter how long until you've achieved like your goal for this wipe i haven't really set a goal my goal was to play casually or or my version of casually and i have achieved that thus far i haven't become a

degenerate i haven't skipped a fucking shower i haven't skipped like like we're all proud of you kyle you lost your hair and everything did you yeah dude he's waking up in the morning it's fixed my sleep schedule all right i'm going to sleep at like 9 p.m and getting up at like 7 a.m or something like that and every every day i've been on that schedule all week or something like that hopefully that stays i kind of like it i get to see the sun come up yeah waking up in the morning's nice like you you feel like you have a lot more day because you do less time in that like sad post 4 p.m winter weather where it's like ah it's so dark how and it's like already you sleep in too late and like you you wake up you do a little thing you have lunch then you're like

fuck it's 1 30 now where'd my day go oh and it's gonna be overcast well i haven't seen the sun in fucking three weeks here it's been the most depressing stretch of weather it's nothing no vitamin d i need my art is turning to mud because it's rained so much. I'm going to have to have landscapers come. It's sunny out. I have blue skies today. Overcast and chilly all day.

From like 9 a.m. this morning until now, it's looked like 5 at night. Just dismal. I went to get my garbage cans outside and was like oh this sucks new jersey has a lot of that that was it in new jersey you'd think it was the cold weather that gets you and the dirty snow but really it was the gray skies like gray skies would roll in in september and roll out in like march or april it's just dude good luck making it through winter when

it's gray oh this is my fucking dog the the old malamute that's 10 years old he is like if you leave any food on the counter he's that rocky yeah yeah he has no shame he will there was um i can't explain exactly but when you walk outside this door, I've got like a banister I can look down that goes all the way down to the first floor. And I had put a styrofoam plate there that had like the last third of a sandwich I had eaten. And then early this morning, I was playing Tarkov and I heard, and I opened the door and the sandwich is gone. I'm like like what the fuck and i could hear rocky like so i yell for my girlfriend it's like i hear him running out the fucking door and i and he doesn't

know i'm chasing him but i am and i like look out the window because he runs all the way outside and he opens the box and starts picking the jalapenos out of the fucking like sandwich and scarfs it all down and then like licks what ketchup was stuck to the fucking lid and he looks up and sees me and i'm just like the fuck yesterday apparently he ate an entire lemon cake the whole thing a whole good taste yeah you had a hell of a day that's it i would love to eat a whole lemon cake there was i want to be your dog i was so excited for that lemon cake i would love to eat a whole lemon cake. I want to be your dog. I was so excited for that lemon cake.

I cut this slice out of that lemon cake and had it with my breakfast coffee. And it was like the tiniest, most normal human being slice. All I'm hearing is it sucks to suck and Rocky's the boss around here. Now you need a whole lemon cake. I was like, I'm going to be responsible. Give me a normal little slice.

You'll hear Rocky saying that pussy bullshit. Rocky ate that. I looked it up. The cake weighed one pound ten ounces or something like that. It was a pound and a half. He's like, there's only a pound left of this shit. I better hurry before that fucking pig gets it. He doesn't have diabetes.

Oh, he'll be fine. He probably took a big old nap. Which they always do yeah pretty much yeah no i did you did your you know grocery fairy perhaps leave another lemon cake no i gave up on the lemon to be honest like the whole the whole getting a whole lemon cake was genuinely just because i wanted one slice of cake it was a three dollar cake did you and so rocky kind of did me a favor i was like i just want one slice of lemon cake with breakfast can i no you only wanted one slice in that moment if it was a good lemon cake you're rating a little

bit a little hungry you're gonna want another piece wasn't very good though it was a shitty fucking cake that's it's a big part of the reason i only ate that one slice if i'm being real it was a garbage cake yeah so this was rocky ate it you had a this wasn't a willpower when it was a loss that's partially that because when your willpower is really failing you'll eat a bad cake you know it'll be good with milk yeah let me just call the delivery lady i guess i gotta order six gallons to hit the ten dollar minimum so i've made i'm sure you've done that too where you've got to hit that twelve dollar minimum for the the and you make some weird bad decisions late at night it's like i really very very rarely order groceries like super rare like i have to like be having company over and it's late and i realize like oh fuck i forgot something and I can't run there now.

If someone's going to show up and then I'll do it. But usually it's so nice to have them do like holiday shopping because it's kind of a zoo there at the store and, and, and, and you know, they'll be, they'll take pictures of all the turkeys.

Like which one do you want? That really? Yeah, of course. Like the whole, during the whole shopping process in it like if they don't have your zatarans fucking red beans and rice they'll take a picture of the whole shelf and be like what do you want and sometimes you have these really awkward interactions where you're like i want the zatarans red beans and rice like yeah they don't have it i'm like

i take the picture they sent me open it up in photos fucking draw a red circle around the zatarans saving you coffee send it back to them and i'm like the zatarans red beans and rice and then they it's it's every time it's really awkward they never laugh and go oh my mistake sorry sorry they're just like oh all right then and so then. Then they add the red beans and rice. I'm like, are they mad now? Is that a difficult one for your shoppers? Zatarain's red beans and rice? I'll give you an example.

I would never order such a thing. I make my own from scratch. Do you? Yeah, Isaac Toons is this really good Cajun chef I watch on YouTube. He has a fantastic video on how to make a make a roux a cajun roux but he makes his in like five minutes instead of 35 minutes by just turning the heat all the way the fuck up and keeping it moving it's really good back into cooking now we're getting back into it no although that's what this groceries were for i'm just gonna do uh potato soup

potato soup i love potato soup but it's one of the guiltier buys on the restaurant's menu you skip the uh cream and you take uh the potatoes and you puree them in the blender and add it back in and uh it gets thick and creamy without the cream yeah potatoes you're eating i know i'm just like i make it healthy oh right because it's like sugar-free cookies you know what fuck sugar-free cookies yeah that's just in the shape of a cookie like it's not a real cookie i'm into knives and the way that they look down on really cheap gas station knives is they say they're not knives what they actually are are knife-shaped objects and uh that's to me what a sugar sugar cookie is yeah this is just a cookie shaped object yeah man i can long i could go for a full sugar cookie right now what kind if you could only have

one cookie it was the last cookie of your life white macadamia nut yeah that's a good fucking call that's a good call but i can't make that my last one. I think I want like a wealthy man's cookie. It's true. Macadamia nut is the most expensive of all nuts, but I think I would want a really chunky chocolate chip cookie. Like I want the chocolate chips to be those square chunks, like from that Chesapeake Bay company. Those are pretty good.

Those are like $5 for eight cookies. What the fuck are they doing over there? bay uh company those are pretty good those are like five dollars for eight cookies what the fuck are they doing over there growing up my mother would make cookies from scratch and she had a knack for it i remember them being very good then she found this special like microwave recipe and you know the tray that spins that you put your bowl on she used that as like the cookie sheet so she made one pizza sized cookie and it came out really well in my memory and you'd slice it like a pizza and have a nice pizza slice of cookie when you ate it so if i was to have one last cookie it'd be that fucking 18 inch monstrosity

make it last okay well i didn't know we could say like cookie cake like i'll take uh this fucking outdoor six foot diameter cookie i'd like that though i don't remember the mall next to the food court they had those uh those giant cookie uh cakes with frosting oh yeah i can smell it right now never once in my life was i allowed one of those never once we went right past it right past Reebok. You remember the smell of Reebok? Yes, I remember all the smells of them all. That old factory memory. The glue smell of new shoes in Foot Locker. And you could still smell it by the time you got to Lids.

You could smell the freshness of the shoes as the end of Sarku Japan was tapering off behind me. We don't have that here. That was my go-to at the food court as a kid, Sarku Japan was tapering off behind me. We don't have that here. That was my go-to at the food court as a kid. Sarku Japan. It was something else. But Sbarro was like nationwide. No wonder that shit went by the wayside.

That was tough. It's too floppy. I was just going the other way. I wonder if malls would ever make a comeback. Don't you kind of wish there was a social place to go to with for sure but it's never coming back dude i went to a mall like probably a month ago now i was going to they had like a it's basically dead except they have uh maybe two restaurants and then like a game store for like reselling and buying old games and stuff like that. And I was going there looking for a game and I was like, well, I'm here. I'm going to tool around the mall for a little bit. I'm going to walk around and see because

I remember like, oh, I remember how much fun it was to come here and go to the movies when I was in high school with my buddies. And it was so' and popular. I get in there and it's not half the stores, not 80%, 100% of stores are closed. Everything's gated off. The food court was full of pickleball courts and there were

a ton of Indian people playing. Just nothing but Indian people playing pickleball as far as the eye could see i can no i i think they're having a tournament or something they seem to be they have like colored shorts on and someone someone's part i could still see i could see the exhaust hood from where the sarku japan was and it was like oh this is sad this is all these memories now there's nothing now it's just now it's justball. I feel like something like that needs to exist. If it's not a full-fledged mall, then I don't know.

Fucking pickleball courts with a food court around it. It's a place to go. I feel like there's nowhere for... If I was a teenager right now and just got my license, where do you go? The park? Movie theaters are dead. Malls are dead. You go to Walmart?

Or if you have a it's tanger outlet nationwide walmart is a huge step down from the mall yeah no one's like chilling at walmart down though that's kind of interesting bass pro shop they got that big aquarium there you can see the fish and look at all the camping gear ikea let's all go hang out at ikea get some meatballs no that's how's how you get lost. Yeah. No, I don't like Ikea. It's a good first date.

You don't like Ikea? No, the way they force you to go through the whole fucking store. Let me say this. Maybe it's too hard, but you want to see if the beds are squishy? I get on the beds every time. No, we already cleared the meatballs out of the fucking end table station. We keep moving. Every time I've gone to Ikea, i have been forced to go there by a woman and it's the only time you have to go but but but i always get you know some of that delicious food

there costco's got this hot dogs right yeah but you don't just go hang out at costco or ikea or bass pro bass pro is like come on like a middle-aged person's place to hang out like my like i remember or an older person. No, you don't go hang out there. That would be funny. Middle-aged retards like to go hang out there. You'll see tons of them when you go. Yeah, it's fucking a lot of gay guys

like hang out there. It's just like that's what I do. That's why there's a Bass Pro code. Knock three times on the stall wall. Have either of you seen the pyramid? You're like a dick sucked by a guy in waiters. Have either of you seen the Bass Pro pyramid in Tennessee? Yes.

It's in Memphis. I've been like, this is awesome. This is so cool. I've been to Memphis, but I haven't seen it. I think it's like the fourth largest pyramid on the planet. You cannot miss it if you're driving on the highway through Memphis, unless you're trying to. It's all they have there in Memphis.

You look away from that pyramid, for one second you're going to see crime. You look right back at that pyramid, you go, this is pretty cool. Memphis sucks, apparently. Really? Yeah. I thought Memphis was pretty cool, but I'm... No, you know what? I'm thinking of Nashville.

Nashville is pretty cool. Yeah, Nashville is pretty cool. Yeah, that Bass Pro. They got restaurants and shit. Okay, if you're a teenager in Memphis, that does seem like a pretty cool place. That's basically a mall. They need a laser coming out the top.

They need LCD screens so they can compete with that eye in Vegas. Well, there's clearly some kind of observation deck or something up there near the top, huh? If you stand up there, you can see all of memphis it's blocked wow the rest of jesus christ the rest of memphis is kind of downtrodden huh like god damn really that's pretty cool i need to go to memphis i tend to like see i mean that picture we just saw like look at the rest of it. There's a pyramid, and then it looks like... They put all their skill points into this.

This culture victory. This pyramid. I mean, they made a swamp indoors. This should be a wonder of the world in the next Civ game. It should be. That's how you win a Memphis cultural victory. How embarrassing would it be if the aliens landed in front of that thing?

Like, we're here. What if they were more impressed by it than the ancient one? They're like, but the ancient one is merely stone. This has a restaurant. It is like objectively better, right? It's way better.

We sell bait and tackle. You want to go to the net? I actually come on in. Come on. Come on. They like looking at fucking skateboards or whatever i've seen a couple videos now of people jumping in the tank at uh bass pro shop i saw that one video and like everyone was laughing at that guy and then something came out where they're like this guy's like got a litany of mental issues or something like his family like when they found out

about it wasn't like what a prankster they were like oh did it was anyone hurt was anyone harmed okay i saw was the one guy jumped in naked i saw him and then there was another guy who jumped in with his clothes and i didn't see i'm not sure i saw the guy like where you couldn't see his penis. Yeah. It's an unfortunate situation to be able to be naked on the news with no sensor bar. Oh, speaking of that, Woody mentioned the other day in the Hangout, I think, that there's those YouTubers who try on clothes. It's the pretty girls who just try clothes on. And somehow I remembered it about three hours ago that he had mentioned it. And so I got plenty of monitors here.

I'm waiting on my load to rate. Go over to YouTube.com and I type in trying on clothes. Nothing else. Like the first three results I've got, I can see vagina and nipples like right away. And there's a lot of girls doing it, but, but here's the darkest channel I found. There's this one channel where the girl's mouth moves, but it's a different voice you hear.

And the, and the voice is act pretending like it's her talking. And from the first person, I like this transparent top. It really shows off my cleavage. Well, it is great for sexy time with my boyfriend. and from the first person. I like this transparent top. It really shows off my cleavage well. It is great for sexy time with my boyfriend. And it's like a Russian accent lady who's doing the voiceover. And all the videos are these sort of skinny, malnourished, like pale Russian women

like in this weird room, just trying on transparent shit from amazon made in china i'm telling you it is but then there's like i found one girl who was trying on um what do you call it uh the nipple um it just hides your nipple the pasties it was a video of her putting on pasties and she's got like check this one out and i mean i'm looking at them everywhere all right i'll take a peek. What do you got? Skip ahead to like 5.30

where she tries on the next outfit. Oh, where the big most replayed is? This is one of the sad ladies. What? Alright. Notice A, the Russian accent and B, the fact that the girl's mouth is moving, but a completely different woman

is telling us what she's... Oh, you're right. This is dubbed. I imagine she's like, yeah, I'm very afraid. Please send money. My family, please. They hurt me every day. Please send 10,000 US dollars. But instead, this lady is like, yes, I enjoy transparent top.

It make me sexy. You're like, yeah, it does make you sexy. Look at the comments. The comments are so hilarious. He'd be like, I like the third one. Like you fucking look. They need to find that guy and fucking sterilize him. Fucking like that's the epitome of someone who's like ignorant. They need to find that guy and fucking sterilize him.

That's the epitome of ignorant simp. And he doesn't get the game. He's three steps behind. I watched a little bit of Queen's Gambit the other day. He thinks these videos are for women looking for outfit tips? Oh, Queen's Gambit? I watched a little bit of it, and I saw she's multiple moves ahead. She sees them sort of intuitively. This guy is the reverse of that.

He thinks those women are actually like, Hi hi i don't know what to wear tonight maybe i'll turn to the internet and see what the people think what makes my pussy look best he's legit he's responding as if that is the case and and it's like he's like yeah the the blue one is definitely the best on you it makes your eyes sparkle and it's like dude you don't yeah it does doesn't it Kyle man I wish that I could pitch tv shows like you do because I want you to watch Survivor the thing is Kyle is socially clever, right? That's one of his strengths. And Survivor is about being socially clever. When I put myself in the position to like, if I were in this game, I routinely find myself not as good as the contestants,

even though in a lot of ways, I have more information than they do, right? I get the cameras on everybody. I'm privy to lots of secret conversations. By the way, I looked up how fixed it is. Basically not. Basically not, basically not scripted. Sometimes the producers lie to contestants and.

Oh, that's a hundred percent. Okay. Yeah. That's a reality. Yeah. Well, you know,

they're like trying to maybe stack a deck or create a fight or something. But, but by and large, this thing is just run straight up fair. And the game has evolved in all these different ways to like trust is an important part of the game but maybe not as simply as i just stated it like you and i have trust but also breaking trust is an important strategic move and then when you get to

the end if you don't know survivor at all there are three like winners that get to the end, if you don't know Survivor at all, there are three winners that go to the end. And then the people who were voted off most recently, like the second half of the group, judge which of the three are the winners. They vote for them. So when you are voting people out, like in this most recent one I watched, strong players were getting knocked off. As really strong players were trying to get what they call goats this is the opposite of greatest of all time they're trying so what i really want is me and then two fucking assholes who are only here because i manipulated this situation to exist right so now who's gonna win this final vote that's what i'm hoping for and it's interesting

how people will will keep strong players around because everyone knows I'm the second biggest threat here. Well, that sounds like I'm safe, right? That biggest threat, I can convince you to take him out. Or there's another guy who did really, really well just by leaning on trust and honor and integrity all show long and it's like fuck is that even a viable strategy like being honest and there are people like you know fucking woody you lied to me like in my defense i told the truth like 80 of the time and jeff probst is like that's pretty good for survivor like dude the manipulation and the balance between like who has strengths and who has weaknesses i saw this chick she clearly knows she's a goat but she's trying to make top three which is where

the prize money starts so she's voting off other goats goat i know in our world goat is greatest of all time but she's voting off other like shit bag sacks of potatoes because that's the lane she's racing in. She's competing for vice president. And she's like, I think we got to get fucking Sunday out of here. And I'm like, you know what's going on. You know you're weak as fuck. And you want to get the person who's in your lane. So Zach says sheep's not goats.

But no, I'm right. I just watched it last night. They called them goats. I don't know. So anyway, and there's a balance between being in charge and making things go your way. Because when it comes to final voting, you need what they call a resume, right? Woody knocked off these three giant slayers. That's why he should win this whole game. On the other hand, if you have a good resume, well, well you're the tallest flower that's the one that gets plucked and watching the way kyle you would

love this show i want you to watch it because i think it will bring you joy and i i think you'd be better at it than i am but i don't know that you'd be better at it than all of them or at least not your first season these guys have earned this and they have expertise that you don't of course i think you'd enjoy it i've seen a few seasons of it i just i don't like getting to meet those people i i don't you don't like getting to know them they bother you yeah great and and they all have dude being strong is a weakness but being strong is a strength the same thing being weak is a strength and being weak is a weakness and how you can play that.

Some guys will be like, I don't know if we're going to immunity challenge King. Well, that's all good until you lose one immunity challenge. Then everyone is like, dude, if we don't get them out tonight, we might never have a chance again because there's one guy in the last

show who was very good at challenges. He was like a six foot four model with abs and pecs and shit and uh it's like this dude we beat him for the first time in like four challenges he didn't beat us all should we get rid of him yeah what do you think yeah i've seen that before i it's been a long time since i've watched but um you know i obviously i watched like the first five seasons or something like that my girlfriend at the time was much more sophisticated now it's so much these guys have like it's on season 40 something but netflix had season 33 that's the one i watched so these guys have the equivalent of like 33 years of knowledge and gameplay and evolution well you're watching like 10 years years ago? No, they do multiple

seasons a year. They're on season 50, and it started in God knows what they're doing this year, though. I'd have to watch the new season. No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. You gotta start with episode one. No way I'm not starting with the new season. No, no, no. You gotta start with whatever.

Netflix. I don't know if Netflix is curating good seasons. Right now, I happen to know they have seasons 7 and 33 probably on that oh yeah i don't know that sounds right but netflix has 7 and 33 and i'm like what made them get those are they good they seemed really good the season i just watched jeff probst was like you guys were so good if If you want, you're all invited back. We'll do this whole fucking season again. I wonder how much control he has over that if he's

just like the front man. Because from the outside looking in, you might think that Dana White is just like the guy who talks on the microphone and gives you the scores, but he's got a lot of pull and how that organization does its thing. Do you mean Joe Rogan,

instead of, I met Dana White. Oh yeah. Everybody knows Dana White has pull. He's like, I don't think so. Like, like he sort of like has the,

the, the, the role though. He, he has a lot of hats, I guess that he wears. Like he's the guy that does the post fight, um,

press conference and is like, yeah, we met, uh, you know, so 5,600 tickets tonight it was a sellout it's the biggest crowd ever at this arena by the way that's every

single one of his press conferences begins that way it's crazy it was the biggest crowd they'd ever had here biggest Canadian crowd biggest fight crowd biggest crowd I'd ever seen like 8 records every night oh we gotta fuck that the Vince McMahon text messages.

I haven't seen them. What's up? Oh, my. So I guess Vince McMahon is in an awful lot of trouble. I think he's in an awful lot of trouble. So what? I haven't dug too deep. An awful lot.

Like just a real time. Like Walter Frey was in a lot of trouble. What can you do at this point you lived a great life they fed him his children fucking 117 great years and a bad day he's fine they fed him i did see big man's face and it was like the scared old man face which is sad to see it was like the befuddled like like it wasn't man he's almost unrecognizable with his recent unless i got caught with like the oh what what was there a picture of him from like he had like man i'm just not used to him with the mustache he looks like it looks

like a different person like a vaudeville actor or something yeah he looks weird like uh with because the mustache is can you pull up or i'll maybe i'll look for the kind of yeah there was a he went to that big uh the francis and gano fight he was there uh and he looked weird like you said and uh but but i guess yeah yeah man come on dude put some put some uh put some salt in that pepper yeah yeah that's he looks he looks kind of like like if you transformed mickey mouse into a human. A little bit. If Walt Disney were still alive, that'd be him.

I meant everything I said. See, this is it. We're going to squirt cum on your face. He doesn't look bad to me, but he doesn't look like Vince McMahon. Yeah, I agree. I think of him as the guy from the meme, where he's like oh yeah yeah

all out of his chair he walks with his like shoulders oh yeah powerful even back connor connor was like i stole that from vince mcmahon but now everyone associates it with me so now it's mine now when vince mcmahon does it they think he's copying me and i'm like that's cocky but it's not wrong yeah that is conor m that is kind of basically it's a it's a whole industry of of plagiarists that the guy who says you know it's time that was ripped off of spongebob when spongebob would say i'm ready do you know he'd go i'm ready no yeah don't you do that to bruce buffers so basically what he was doing was pimping out an employee to future employees and but but there's this weird line where it's kind of hard to tell whether because you only you don't see her side

of these conversations that they're having you to see him saying outlandish shit but you know how it is i gotta see the whole conversation if you bounce something off a girl you're like hey how about i come on your face tonight and and but then you delete the part where she's like he he never done that before like and then just and then your next reply is just something even more audacious like yeah i'm gonna come in your eye give you the pirate and then then but then she goes ho ho that you're you're so funny when you're horny but you delete that too and then you really say something outlandish and then they screenshot the whole thing and they're like look at this monster yeah that kind of seemed like what was going on but he was like you're gonna fuck all

these guys they're all gonna fuck you they're gonna be squirting cum in your face and he said squirting he said no there's he said they're gonna be they're gonna be squirting in your face and i was like yeah i thought he was talking about i thought he's talking about like like pussy he showed his age there but yeah right but he um but he was also um the allegation is that he was basically pimping this chick out to for to new recruits and people he wanted to sign. Brock Lesnar's also named in all this. Apparently he was like fucking the chick too, perhaps like in some sort of illegal way. I don't know.

This is a relentless text. I'm going to read the nastiest text I've seen in ages. It's just, man, regarding your last picture, you need your panties ripped off and three big black dicks in all three holes at the same time. Way up your pussy, way up your ass, as far as they can go, but even farther.

And the thickest cock goes down your throat until it makes you gag and convulse. And those big back cocks pound away. And it feels like from the start, you're being assaulted, but it makes you come nonstop. Just one continuous choice in orgasm. And just before you pass out, those big black dicks squirt their loads of cum inside you.

Glad you clarified. The cum is coming out of all your holes, and you'll turn over and jack off all over you. Could you do that again, but slower? That is the horniest man I've ever heard that's dude to be sending all of imagine 70 that 70 and you're that horny yeah he's got the t of the high schooler because he's getting shot up with it he's just horny as shit man that's that's not how i want to hear a 78 year old-old talking. I'll say that much. I don't like that.

I just don't know her level of consent. That completely informs my opinion on this. I think that her side of this is that she was being trafficked by him against her will. And that's her side of this. And I believe her side of it is that she was trafficked to, among others, Brock Lesnar. And so he's like named in all of this. So that's like the far left side of it, I guess. If you like believe everything that she says and completely ignore any, you know, shadow of a doubt.

But then the right side of it is that like this is fucking another one of his employees. And he sent some real nasty text messages. I just remember when Mel Gibson's whore of a wife called him and recorded his phone call and you know that they've been having these knock down drag out arguments like the day before but now she's all, hello Mel

how is your day? I am calling to antagonize you right now. It's just like yesterday you whore. Why would you say these because because you're awful why are you pretending like you're not almost like that that like recording you for the divorce that saccharine falsehood yeah i just want to know how she hit it back during the time right because like here's during me too i said this a couple times i was like you know these women that sleep their way to the top aren't victims they're getting value for pussy like that like the victim is the person who didn't sleep their way to the top who otherwise

might have got that job the woman who slept her way up that's a consenting adult who got what she paid for was paid for what she gave or whatever. Like it, the left in particular is usually all for like legalizing sex work and sex work rights and normalizing it and this, that, and the other thing. And then they do it and they're like, Oh my God,

that poor sex worker victim. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see it. Zach, this is her response. Oh, I see that.

He's not calling. I don't know. Tell him soon. she ended with. Here, let me read this. Exactly. Baby, he's not the only one. This person's blacked out name called me this afternoon begging to eat you and fuck you with his nice and hard dick. Give me another week, baby, and I'll be ready.

I'm feeling more like myself. I guess she was sick. It's not great, but it's getting better. Tell him soon. She was sore, I think. more like myself. I guess she was sick. It's not great, but it's getting better. Tell him soon. She was sore. I think that's possible. I'm already, I already told him,

baby, by the way, Johnny wants Tuesday, but not coming, not this coming one. The, and the occasional Saturday, but maybe I can shift the Thursday nights. Johnny would like all of the above.

Okay. Anyway, she said, yes, it took more words. She said, give me another week. i don't feel myself yet but that's yes yeah i suppose so um i don't know that's her response

that she posted that i guess as some sort of defense of her own or i don't know i i don't all i know is that vince got fired from endeavor yeah um and he out. That one response doesn't tell me everything I need to know. I just want to know, was she a consenting adult who was doing sex work or was she a victim? I can't tell. You can tell how people feel about the sex work thing if you're like, how about I make a job posting? Let's say I'm a boss in an office. I make a job listing that says you need to be proficient in excel microsoft access and you have to give me head like i would phrase it as sloppy toppy you said and you have to give me sloppy toppy every afternoon between excel and powerpoint i just

got back from my afternoon workout time for my my sweaty dick like that i want you to be confident with excel sloppy toppies and like if if someone says like that's I want you to be competent with Excel, sloppy toppies and PowerPoint. If, if someone says like, that's despicable, it's like, okay, then you're not cool with sex work.

Cause if it's just work, then that's just another thing you can put in a job listing. And if there's no inherent shame or anything wrong with it, then what's, who's then what's wrong with that? Tell me how that, like, why is that bad?

But a job, but where it's nothing, you're trying to, so you don't like that. The sex that, like, why is that bad? But a job where it's nothing. So you're trying to, so you don't like that the sex acts are sort of their own category that you would pay for them. You think that it should just be like an office duty. Yeah. Maybe a dual, a dual meaning taco truck. Like you change the printer ink, take the trash out and you suck my dick. Like you think it should just be one of the duties.

Yeah. Yeah. Because then everyone's getting more of what they want now how do the regular prostitutes compete well you're gonna come over and suck my dick my air fryer needs scrubbed like my my my plumber already disgusting yeah my my heater could be looked at like you're testing me because I was all pro sex work and women's rights in some weird way. And now I'm like, it's a little like steroids and sports in that once you allow steroids and sports, you have to do steroids to compete in sports. Yeah. Right.

Who's going to be so fucking good at PowerPoint that they're going to be better than the person who could do powerpoint okay and suck a dick yeah come for the head stay for the tax refund like this she's taking care i mean we should separate the sex acts into their own little category and yeah i mean i haven't decided on all that yet because i just think it's funny because like the same women who are like there's nothing wrong with it and it's not shameful to be a sex worker if you're like okay would it be shameful if you at your job as a receptionist then had to suck dick it's just working it's just literally just work just to work a day it's like well no that's reviled that's vile disgusting shameful puritan because there are

vile disgusting things that people do at work people change bedpans Right yeah I would argue That's kind of a level Of like embarrassment I would be more vulnerable if you change my bedpan Than if you suck my dick That's true I wasn't sure if I was alone in that The huge turn in the bedpan

Having your bedpan taken care of It's very very vulnerable Yes yeah I would feel judged On my fucking digestive system Having your bedpan taken care of, it's very, very vulnerable. Yes. Yeah. I would feel judged on my fucking digestive system. I'd be trying to make big poops. Be like, wow, who's a big boy? I'm like, I am.

Look at this guy. I bet you're taking a lot up there. Yeah, I am. Now get out of here. I'm trying to watch Price is Right. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. That is bigger than I thought was oh my god that woman's falling forward right now i love the look on her

face it's classic but dude that job like is i don't know if you just remove the whole like thing you might have wrapped around your head for sex work because you were raised that way, then I don't know. It's as intimate as a BJ, kind of, in a way. What the fuck is this? I think this has an impact on poop or something. Cheese?

I have no idea. I have not eaten cashews and Munster, so I don't know how much that impacts your poop. I do know that any amount of nuts, if you eat a a thousand calories of them some of it's going to come out not as digested as it should be because the body's just getting hammered with those peanut pieces we watched the uh the chiefs game it was it was wonderful to see our boy uh get a w get t swift in attendance of course the whole country was rooting against the chiefs other than kansas and missouri i saw a little graphic really like yeah i know you saw it in

a graphic but do you think it's true i bet it was some uh low sample size like espn poll probably something like that or i don't know i bet espn actually does pretty good on polls could have been completely made up i would I would believe it because usually sports fans want to see new blood. And because the Chiefs have been to the Super Bowl four times in the past five or six years. Like if I were a neutral fan and the Texans were making their fourth appearance, I'd be like fucking Texans. Ravens were the number one seed, right? Ravens were, I think they were tied for it. Maybe they were number one.

Maybe they were number one seed. Everyone was really mad at that quarterback. They made that look easy. That was a fun game to watch. And it's going to be cool to see if I get my wish and Taylor Swift performs at the Super Bowl halftime show. That would be a big one. Because, I mean, the NFL has got to be stoked that the Chiefs are back in it.

That's great for them was just being it's crazy that the nfl which is like the most powerful television presence in the country is like we can get a really significant boost by making ourself adjacent to this one woman who's the most famous person in the world. Other than like, like who else? Trump? I don't know. She's way higher. Trump. I hope Kanye.

Other than Trump, who? Like she's, she's bigger than Kanye. That's what the Super Bowl, that's what my Super Bowl halftime show would be. It would be Kanye and T-Swift. Kanye,

T-Swift and Trump. The ultimate podcast. There'd be a moment where she was like performing and then Kanye would like pop out of the ground, like sigh. You know, remember sigh? Yeah yeah he does this thing where he comes out of like a hatch in the floor and like haha like a ninja jumps all of a sudden kanye would come out and he do he do the bit back from the grammy i will let you finish in a second but and then but they would like but i made the greatest album of all time that That'd be Kanye. And then he'd start going. Kanye, don't put down the graphic on your phone.

Stop showing that to the national television cameras. He's like, and before I get started, you need to know who's running this operation you're watching right now. It's Jews. I can't say, but it's true. I can't say, but can't say but he was Jewish he was wait what was that where he's like I'm not gonna say what religion

he was what race he was Jewish it was a Jewish doctor on top of the world right now like it's yeah I don't know I just feel like I rarely see anyone this on top of the world and they're like I don't know it's not common it's rarely see anyone this on top of the world.

It's not common. It's not common for someone to be this killing it. Yeah, she's very well liked. There aren't a lot of negatives, I suppose. I don't know enough about her to know any negatives. I'm sure there's people who dislike Taylor Swift, right? She just seems so milquetoast to me as a non-fan that it's like, what would she be doing that someone doesn't like?

You don't like her music? She's spoken out about Trump a little bit before and there was an interesting conversation where it was like her and her mother. It was an interesting conversation where her and her mother were talking, I think before the last election. She's like, I'm going to say something. I feel like I should. And her mom was like,

yeah, you're going to split. Half people feel one way and half people feel the other way. I don't care. I'm going to feel bad if I don't say something. I feel like I should. It was an interesting, like, forget the fact that we're working on billions of dollars here and the biggest tour of all time. It's the biggest tour ever.

A billion dollar tour. And she's like, yeah, I feel like I should say something. I don't know. I kind of like that, even though I kind of... Yeah, she was like, not everything is's a business decision it was like a behind the scenes kind of thing you're you're you're so she knew she was being recorded yeah of course she is no it's not nitpicky to notice that the most famous person on earth is saying something like in a measured way like of course she has to like her she's not making any public statements without going through

a pr for i just trial on this it sounded like she was like i know this isn't great for my wallet but it's my my moral code and i yeah it's true i think she's right if she wanted to really nail it for her wallet and do it like taylor's think, implying that it was a little more calculated. The calculated choice would have been to not comment on politics. But not for her fan base. Her fan base is largely young white women who are overwhelmingly liberal. Why split anyone off? Why split anyone off?

And that's why she didn't do it in a hardcore way. I'm not saying... Maybe those are her true beliefs, but when you see people this famous making statements... Fox News is dogging her right now. They're running segments saying the NFL's fixed and they just want her Pfizer boyfriend to make it to

the Super Bowl. This is Fox News. Okay, well, a lot of that's accurate. Well, that's not against Taylor. That's against the NFL and Pfizer. They all... It came off anti-Taylor when i saw it that's how i read it but um i don't look the chiefs made the super bowl in 21 in 23 but 24 is the fixed one because of taylor yeah i i agree with that there like i could totally see the like sports leagues i could totally see him rigging stuff for views and like it's it's a business like everything lots of stuff is rigged like if charlotte made it i'd be like this pretty fucking suspicious yeah

but kansas city making the super bowl like oh yeah pigs like oh from zero to hero in one year it's like well no they've been in the super bowl for the past five years right they have a generational talent at quarterback they have mahomes who's like i don't watch enough football to know but i feel comfortable as a chiefs fan watching him i'm like i believe in you patrick be like like i saw the uh the ravens quarterback who like everyone was talking online they're like, Lamar Jackson. He's this incredibly athletic, really good quarterback who's going to threaten Kansas City with his run because he can run, you know, get some good yards anytime. He's got an arm, all this stuff. That guy looked terrible. There were times where he threw interceptions.

And I'm like, that's like if like if I tried like how bad the accurate. Obviously, I couldn't throw it that far in the first place, but like almost had a real bad year. This year was the thing. This is the worst chiefs team in like half a decade. And they're in the super bowl. He was like on most of the important stats for quarterback. He was outside the top 10.

Not last weekend. Yeah. Not, not last weekend. Had a great fucking game. And that's all that matters, right? If you can turn it on for the playoffs,

but Eagles did the opposite. Our first 11 games, we were the best team in football. Then the last seven, maybe the worst. We lost 6-1-1, if I have my numbers right. Yeah. Oops. Yeah, Zach, he hasn't had a star receiver other than Kelsey. That does seem true.

But Kelsey also seems really fucking good. Like he, you can kind of do it all seemingly. Yeah. It'll be fun. When's the Superbowl? Like when does it occur? It's usually,

isn't it like the first February? Yeah. I think it'll be two weeks. Two weeks. Yeah. They, there'll be a rest week and then the game, if I recall.

When's the next big UFC ufc event i know 17 is um the next pay-per-view okay i know i sent you today that i sent you the uh the card for ufc 300 talk about that i know we're out of time can you find that up like two minutes i want your opinion on this it looks like oh so people don't watch fights at all every fight gets sort of bigger and more important as the night goes on the curtain jerker the guy who the first one to fight on the main card yeah it's like a little bit of an insult like you're the lowest guy on this card okay yeah sometimes so they haven't announced the last fight but the second and third to final right this is like if number one is the one we don't know main event the co-main

and the one below it exist right now the the co-main the second biggest fight is gaethje versus holloway for what they call the bad motherfucker belt the bmf belt and then the champions fight before them but they're female it's two chinese chicks yeah and i'm like i just feel like they really kind of formalized it used to be hey the heavier weight class fights last right so if there's two champions fighting the same night it's 150 and 185 185 is the big event bigger is better that's how they used to do it and then that got a little more flexible based on star power. And now they're straight up having made up imaginary belts based on fake gangsters

as bigger than the ladies fights. And I'm like, no, like from the origin, from the beginning of that belt though, you know, like they made it a five round fight like any belt. I don't know. I'm okay with it. And I'm certainly okay with it where like I don't give a like like like any belt i don't i'm okay with it and i'm

certainly okay with it where where the like i don't give a fuck about zhang weili versus this uh yan person um i know people do but not me it'll be it'll be a banger of a fight but but i think it belongs behind gaethje holloway who are i don't know the two biggest names to me in that division at this point like they're superstars both of them uh i don't i don't know what is it 155 they're fighting it yeah yeah well i would imagine so yes yes lightweight yeah so who's the 155 champ i'm missing it is it some islam is Islam Makachev. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it? Yeah, Islam's the one that looks, he's like Khabib's little brother.

Yeah, okay. Not literally, but figuratively. Who's the guy with the cleft palate? No, it's actually not a cleft palate. It's an injury, I think. Yeah, he fell down the fucking stairs and his poor ass family didn't fix his broken face. Yeah. That's Chemaev is his last name.

It's Kamzat. Kamzat Chimaev. One guy does, but he doesn't. It's catching on! It's you guys! Now it's Colby coming to Denfile. Me and Colby, we both call him that! Everybody's doing it.

Alright, we should wrap up. We're going to go hang out with our pacer. Play some Codenames. PKN493. I'm going to call somebody hangout.