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pkn496 hey boys how's everyone doing kyle fresh haircut looking fantastic 30 minutes ago 30
minutes ago fresh out the chair it's been a good week i also got my fence fixed finally i don't
have to walk my dogs every two hours you ever walking three dogs every two hours i've seen way
too much dog shit way too much usually everything's coming up you know oh you have no idea tarkov
any murdering is too much dog shit any amount i mean i did i like a little like a little it's
like yeah you know if you if you if you walk down the hallway forever don't never stub your tail
you don't appreciate it as much you need a little of the bad so you're right you're right little
little dog poop's good less gross than cat shit. Cat shit's much grosser than dog poop.
I don't know.
I don't want any feces.
I think the...
What's the least gross feces?
I go first.
Cow.
Frozen.
False.
Nope.
It's rabbit poop.
It's just those little round dry pellets.
It looks like...
If you like rabbit poop, I bet you'll love goat poop.
They're bigger, though.
See, rabbit poop is tiny.
They're like the mini Cocoa Puffs.
It's true, but proportionally, I might argue that goat poop. They're bigger, though. See, rabbit poop is tiny. They're like the mini Cocoa Puffs. Proportionally, I might argue that
goat poop is tinier.
I mean,
goat poop is basically rabbit poop coming
out of a dog. It's pretty cool.
But it's probably bigger
balls of poop than the rabbit poop.
A goat.
A rat's anus
pales in comparison to the huge gaping hole that is a goat's butt.
Mouse poop is even smaller, but mouse poop is grosser.
We all like goat anus.
I mean, this is guilty.
I'll be loud and proud about not liking that.
That makes you furry adjacent.
There's a stand that says you're a huge fan.
That makes you furry adjacent.
Afghanistan that says you're a huge fan.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think the least gross poop would be,
I think you might have won with rabbit.
Human's the worst, though.
Human's the worst poop.
Like, if you're going to step in some poop,
like, human's on the bottom of the list of poops that you want to step in.
Not inherently, though.
It's because we eat so much nonsense
that, like, we have horrible no forget about
consistency or size or smell it's just that it is human poop like i could get some i could get
human diseases from human poop i i think it's hard to get sick from like animal poop i mean
bacterial infections aside diseases are my favorite kind of there aren't any crazy viruses
living in a cow's poop you know what i I mean? Although Taylor's poop, God only knows.
That's true.
God only knows what he's been up to.
Yeah, I'd rather get smeared with cow shit than even a very healthy person's poop.
Yeah.
Because I don't know.
I've seen Bear Grylls.
Is that pronounced right at last?
Yes.
Drink elegant elephant poop.
He squeezed the water out and drank it.
That was horrific.
That's vile he
should he should be charged for fake wildlife tips like that he got an emmy for that he really should
yeah he's he was always like all right i'm at the top of a hill i think my move here is to
slide down a waterfall it's like bro you're if you're alone in the woods that is a terrible idea
that is only one way down this mountain. Fall myself into a
ball and roll. Wait a minute. Let's climb down carefully.
Nope. No way to do it. Now, what you've got to do to survive is to make
sure you take high risk situations that lead to
a commercial break. And now I'm Australian, even though I'm pretty sure
I'm British in real life yes yeah
he was uh he was british sas he climbed mount everest although i am let me just say this
there's nothing impressive yeah there's nothing impressive about climbing mount everest
um before a certain day i don't know off the top of my head what that date is i'm gonna call it
1991 anybody after 1991 i don't give a fuck i'll give you 97 but nowadays if you've seen the clips
on reddit right of like 50 rich white people in a row and the most and the most like they could go
to space and not freeze and what they're fucking wearing and then like 30 slaves i mean sherpas
carrying oxygen tanks bags food tents playations, all kind of shit.
The other day I saw a lady or a man.
I don't know which somebody was trying to go up.
Somebody's trying to go up and they weren't going to make it.
I don't know.
They weren't feeling well.
Maybe even the Sherpa packed them out.
They rolled this guy up in a fucking like sleeping bag canvas sleeping bag and strapped him to the Sherpa's back
like he was a dead deer
and the Sherpa's packing
him out and I just wonder if the guy's in there with his phone
just being like
today was so hard
I thought I would be summiting
the world's highest mountain today
could it be any worse
than this as a slave
carries him down the highest mountain in the world
being carried down i disagree with kyle job is climbing i don't disagree on the facts of how
sherpas get people to the top i just think he said it's not impressive to go to the top of everest
it is just being wealthy enough to hire slaves to take you to the hot top of everest and then they generally generally
walk up there themselves it's kind of impressive to me in the same way that kyle told me that he
had launched a business so successful that he was retiring and getting a flight into space
i'd be like that's kind of fucking cool but it's easier not to anywhere in particular i'm being
launched into the darkness into the sea of darkness the hardest part is having a quarter minute better yet if you took any quarter million
dollar vacation i'd be impressed is that what it costs i made it up but i bet it's close i
wanted to guess around like what it would cost that's the number in my head too zach what does
it cost no everest for everest I bet it's like 30 grand.
No.
I think it's going to be six digits.
Oh, is it? I want the...
If you want to go up there with some ropes and shit, yeah, 30 grand will cut it.
But promise you, Taylor, you're going to want to be at that base camp acclimating.
If I can't go and do it on my own, I wouldn't want to do it anyway.
And there's no way I could do it on my own.
Wait, Edmund Hillary?
Is that the first man to mount
to summit it
I looked it up
everybody's right
the range is 32,000
to 200,000
holy shit we're there
ah fuck I just paid 30 grand
I got a white guy
even worse it's like
my name is the boomer.
If you need smokes, buy them now
because up there, you're not
borrowing any of mine. Are you my
Sherpa? Yeah.
Yeah. Don't worry, bro.
I'll get you out if anything goes...
Well, I'm not...
My guide is Kenyan. I don't know about this one it is so fucking cold
no you want one of those fucking locals that do it for a living yeah i don't do i've never read
this someone should do a fucking documentary about those sherpas because there has to be like
a guy there what he always talks about the nurse who's going to get your vein there's got to be a sherpa who's just like ah do i have to climb everest
again it's three times this fucking week i've summited that mountain all right make you know
what let's do it three in the week let's go it's just the weekend sir yeah three in the weekend i
i only work weekends i'm the best like like there's got to be that guy imagine like i don't know me showing up with two other mountain
climbers right and they're both 137 pounds they do this all the time there's me at roughly 200
and they're like fucking lewis that one's yours that no one else can get woody to the top that
they it's the guy like i imagine that they wait the way they like sell themselves against other
sherpas because there's like multiple companies multiple options, I'm sure, is they probably have success rates.
So the person who's like $95,000 is probably like, we have a 95% success rate, and that other 5% is because the fucking guy died.
It wasn't our fault.
He had a preexisting condition, and he died near the top and then
there's another guy he was allergic to falling he was allergic to he was he didn't expect it
slippery turns out on his form he didn't check that he was allergic to falling off the highest
mountain in the world yeah asshole it's kind of like having a sherpa get you to everest is a lot
like deep sea fishing but like doing it like a child
where the real fisherman the real angler hooks the hammerhead or whatever the fuck you're fishing for
illegally and then hands it to you and it the whole time is like babysitting like that's not
real too excessively taylor i want to shoot taylor adults do that yeah adults do that but but like
if i caught a hammerhead shark
that way, I wouldn't
stand there next to you.
I've done both. I've done both on the same
fishing trip. This is the same one where I had that
near fight.
First they had me hook it. It was a tuna,
not a shark, and I fucked it up.
I didn't hook him properly. I'm not a fisherman.
I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
So that I could get the experience of like fighting a fish,
the slave hooked it for me and then handed me the rod and I still didn't
catch it,
but I fought it longer.
So that was fun.
So that's a net improvement over.
Oh,
well,
it's an improvement that I figured out I should get someone qualified to
hook it.
I'm just going to skip to the part where a Japanese guy cooks this in front of me on a big blackstone top yeah while telling jokes and
balancing eggs on the side of a spatula i've mentioned this before like maybe three four
times ago i went to hibachi so years at this point it was a white guy oh it was who was cooking
and i it's like i really disliked it they were trying to slip a
filipino in at my place and i wouldn't fucking have it we walked out uh-uh you asked him you
were like uh hypothetically sir how would you fix i don't know like something wrong with drywall and
he's like oh i think that and you're like ah ha you're not japanese you must be from a very sunny
part of japan huh? Piece of shit.
Get out of here.
I see the tape on the corner of your eyes.
You're not...
You're not Japanese.
You're just a sleepy Mexican.
He's got those...
He's got buck teeth on and a rice paddy hat.
He's got buck teeth on.
Oh, hurrah!
That's the wrong hat.
That's the wrong hat. That's the wrong hat he's got the he's got like the the samurai fucking like crazy face mask thing uh i'm so
really excited for you to come in dude that top knot thing what was that about world's worst
historical haircut bar none the top oh yeah show us a japanese top knot um from like fucking samurai
times or whatever.
Zach, it's hideous.
They shave everything except for like the crown of their head.
And then they make that into like a little braided knot back there.
It's awful.
It had to be like your way of showing supplication to the king or the emperor or whatever.
Like, yeah, everyone have to do this.
If you if you were me, fuck, it had to be to humiliate you.
Look, look at this.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Is that male pattern baldness natural or part of it no that's the haircut like like like maybe the emperor had male pattern
baldness and he decreed that everyone had to get this haircut because he he's like yeah no no i
shave it like this i shave it like this you have to watch the incredibles there's some you guys
have never seen the incredibles i assume no i don't watch a lot of the uh the cartoon with the stretchy mom and the strong dad
yeah i have seen the the first one it's a good movie it actually is good kyle i bet you'd enjoy
it even if i've seen the porn targeted at you um but anyway the bad guy is trying to make everybody
a superhero because if everyone's a superhero then nobody is that's like
his way of i don't know disenfranchising superheroes and it just tied into the male
pattern baldness mandate if everyone has male pattern baldness then nobody does yeah yeah yeah
i never really thought about the plot of the incredibles i guess the bad guy wasn't as bad
as i thought he was he was really trying to enfranchise the rest of
humanity so they didn't have to tiptoe around these histrionic hyper powerful potential monsters
because not all of the mutants were going to be the incredibles true a lot of the mutants are
super villains yeah so actually i'm switching sides i'm taking the ginger i think he's like
a ginger short fat guy kind of.
Is he short? I thought of him as really big. What's his name? Like Sisyphus or sycophant?
Syndrome. Thank you, Zach. Syndrome. Oh, thank you.
Okay, that's a good villain name. Sisyphus. He's a beat for that one. What did Sisyphus do?
He tried to push a rope up a hill or something. No, he pushed a stone up a mountain,
and every time it got to the top, it falls back down,
and he has to do it again.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
Was that Greek?
I was getting there.
That was Greek.
Yeah, that was, was it Zeus who punished him for his arrogance?
I get my Greek and Roman stuff confused.
I still can't tell how tall he is.
Which is easy to do because one
begot the other.
The Greeks kind of kicked off
all the fun lore.
Then the Romans almost kind of
DLC'd it and didn't
fully add a lot to it.
I've said before, but that's exactly
what Marvel is.
It's just our modern day
pantheon of gods for who have human you know
flaws and and and go about you know fucking normal people and that's all that marvel universe is i i
will make this prediction now like it's not a hard one to make it's almost like picking the
chiefs again next year which i am uh dynasty established um the, the, uh, the Deadpool Wolverine trailer,
I guess is the most watched trailer of all time.
That is going to be a hefty,
uh,
payday for Marvel.
And it's going to make whoever came up,
whoever like made that happen at Disney.
Cause it had to be hard.
Um,
for a couple of reasons.
One,
I don't think the last Deadpool was a huge home run.
It probably actually probably did well,
but getting Hugh Jackman back to do that role that he'd already sworn off for like five, six years because the last time I saw him was in Wolverine.
Right.
He dies.
And at the end of that old man Wolverine movie, which is amazing.
Logan.
Right.
I think it's called.
So it had to be expensive to get him back.
I know they're going to like they got him in the right
fucking clothes finally for those of us who watched the x-men animated series growing up
growing up no no no no no no no no no no no they got him in that yellow shit or if you read the
comics but uh you gotta be a real loser to read x-men comics i've read some of the x-men comics
i've never read a comic book and i think i'm healthier for it my cousin oh this is so
fucking cool to me i like it here's my call this is going to be the highest grossing r-rated movie
ever yes like 100 what's the competition of our deadpool is it also deadpool i think deadpool was like the previous highest rated
um and before that um i saw deadpool when i really did not uh i didn't enjoy it oh it's a shame i
thought i'm not surprised it was a little too much ryan reynolds just doing the thing he does in
every scene of every movie he's ever that's coincidental so so here's here's why that's
all right that's a valid point if you don't know enough about like that character
ryan reynolds is like made to play that character because that's what that character is like he's
this annoying like constantly going on and on breaking the fourth wall like shit heel like he's
i don't like i think that must be it i don't't like over-the-top fourth wall breaking. It's like...
It's one of his mutant powers.
What, to break the fourth wall?
To deliver dialogue in a clunky way?
No, to break the fourth wall
and to address the reader
or mention the fact that they are in a story.
I don't like that.
It's one of his mutant powers.
That's a cop-out for bad writing.
We have an update.
Joker is the top-rated R movie of all time. Not top- top rated i meant to say top grossing yeah one was good but i guess it
barely counts as a superhero movie i don't think anybody has powers in that universe it's the batman
universe yeah but the batman no people have powers in batman right but nobody in that movie had people
have powers in dc but i agree with Taylor. I don't recall anyone with powers.
So in Gotham, there's a... Ra's al Ghul is Batman's
main original villain.
And he's got magical powers.
Like literal magic.
Oh, the guy... Liam Neeson had magic?
Not in that movie.
But that character in every
other piece of
content does. In the comics, the cartoons, the movies, the animated movies.
I like those Warner Brothers animated movies.
I watch a lot of those.
Jackie and I started that.
I can't remember the name of it.
Masters of the Sky?
Wow.
Don't you like that?
Yeah, yeah.
It wasn't even hard.
I had it.
Pause there.
I'm thinking of a shape.
Triangle. No, no. He, pause there. I'm thinking of a shape. Triangle.
He went,
no,
no,
he's thinking square.
It was a circle.
Fuck.
I wish it was square.
What is it?
But,
uh,
uh,
have you,
has anyone else lied?
No,
no,
I've been meaning to.
I have not.
That's the band of bros.
Kind of.
It's similar.
Yeah,
I,
I've only seen the first episode and it didn't hit right with me, but I'm not. That's the Band of Brothers kind of similar. Yeah. I've only seen the first episode, and it didn't hit right with me.
But I'm hopeful.
It's funny because I complain about Band of Brothers having too slow a ramp up.
I think the first time through, I enjoyed it.
But now it's like, I'm going to rewatch Band of Brothers.
This thing's fucking awesome.
I remember when that big strong guy got separated from everyone and hit in a ditch overnight.
I remember
the Battle of Bastogne.
I think I'm pronouncing it
close enough. There was
maybe two episodes in there where they were just sort of in the
snow, really, really suffering.
This show is great. And then you watch it
and you're like, oh, shit. Actually,
of the 10 episodes, those were the three good ones.
Outside of that, you'll find yourself disappointed because you're remembering the highs.
Okay, back to this show.
Dude, every fucking 10 minutes, there's a crazy disaster.
Like, there's a routine.
The new pilots are coming from America to Europe.
There's not a big spoiler.
This is a, like, there's no conflict here.
There's no nothing everything is cool well one of the stops they have 50 mile an hour side winds during the
landing to like jazz things up um hardly any of these planes can keep their fucking wheel like
landing gear functional like so that's a constant problem always landing gear drama another issue is
um oh the the navigator's not good so they
missed fucking england and went to occupied france by accident really every time they take to the air
it's a catastrophe and so they're just not very good at flying it's it's really sort of like over the top bad writing i think like so you should check and see
if those historical events because i know obviously the first band of brothers very much based on um
that book i think that was written about that that group and then which is all true not all true
that's much of it's exaggerated but true events things that happen and then the pacific like i
know the same is true because the the part where the guy's digging gold teeth out of a Jap's head or whatever, that's a true story.
And apparently the Jap's still alive while he was doing it.
I think he was dead in the show.
Yeah, there was a lot of like filling, stealing throughout the wars because that's great.
It's gold.
Yeah, but on the show, i'd get in there i i'm
interested i want you guys to watch it too i i hope it's better than i'm saying it is i plan to
it's just there's a watch it i don't know it's like tonight actually a non-stop roller coaster
of one catastrophe leading into the next in the first episode this is her meet the characters episode and you know
this is super cool unflappable i think that's the term you know pilot this is guy who wishes he was
in the war getting more action this is this guy and even in that every time they take to the skies
it's a fucking nightmare i watched a taxi driver last night because we talked about i was wrong i
think i said the other way that he wasn't a Vietnam veteran, but he was.
Somehow I misremembered that.
God, I love that fucking movie.
It's dark.
It'd been a while since I'd watched it, but Joker really takes a lot from that movie.
Even there's a part where De Niro's wearing this red or red-ish blazer,
and he's kind of walking down the street with kind of a
bobby walk and it's like
man, that looks
like Joker. He looks
a little bit like Joker in this scene. He's dressed a little bit
like Joker. Did you mean De Niro or Joaquin Phoenix?
I meant De Niro. Oh, you said it. Okay.
Yeah. De Niro looks like Joker.
Okay. Yeah, he's dressed like him.
You know, he's wearing a red blazer and he's kind of like
Bob walking down the street in a certain way. Yeah, he's dressed like him. You know, he's wearing a red blazer and he's kind of like Bob walking down the street in a certain
way. Yeah, Taxi Driver's
fucking dark. I love that.
It's a great movie. I'm going to watch Scarface
tonight and then I'm going to watch your
TV show. It was confusing
because De Niro's in both films and I'm like
He is! That's true!
I got a little mixed up.
Now I'm with you. Yeah, he is
in both. I hadn't considered that.
That's fine.
What's this?
Oh, yeah. It was very similar.
That wasn't even accidental.
That looks intentional.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's like a fan-made
thing, I'm sure, right?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I mean, it clearly like the same background
it's the same building but um that wasn't even the outfit that i was thinking of travis uh
bickle wearing deniro's character in the the taxi driver i don't think i've watched a movie
in six weeks like i bet it's been almost two months since I've seen it. Well, let's pick a good one. I've watched a couple, but I just haven't watched any.
Have you seen Scarface?
I have seen Scarface.
It's better with Frank on him, Kyle.
You might like Mandy.
I did like Mandy.
You loved Mandy.
Mandy was good.
And Kyle and I were not trying to fool you.
We were both befuddled that you were like, it was the worst.
I was like, oh oh i thought this was
like a like i would have like bet i would have bet on like a swish on that recommendation i thought
he was like i talked to you guys about i think it was on one of the shows and i was like like
it really hurt my feelings i was like they're pranking me this is
because i think i watched it twice thinking like i didn't get it right
first time i was like why would they do this but it's damn meanwhile kyle and i were like man that
was that was a good movie i was like i know i usually don't get put a lot of stock in the
nick cage movies they're entertaining he's kind of a bad actor but it's it's never boring there's it's a little at the beginning it's a little boring because you're trying to
figure out what's going on and and but right away it's like what you get like 15 minutes of a thing
and then 15 minutes more of a different thing and it's every 15 minutes you're getting another
sort of escalation of the crazy and the wild. And then as he's doing drugs,
like his perception of things is being altered as well.
So your perception is being altered.
And then they mix in the animation.
And my mind was,
I want to watch it on acid.
I think that's the real ticket.
I can't next time I do acid,
I'm watching Mandy.
I've really,
yeah,
a hundred percent.
Cause to me, that's a recipe for a bad trip
well here's the thing the the bad guys and mandy you probably remember are this these outlaw bikers
who were poisoned with scary lsd that was meant to like that drove them insane so that's why they're
all sadistic and murdery now. And,
and, and,
uh,
so,
so no,
I think it'd be great.
I want to see Nick Cage's crazy eyes in the dark,
smiling the opposite of convincing me.
This is a good idea,
but it might be fun to hear the story of dirty doing it.
Oh,
it'll be fun.
Oh,
dirty,
dirty,
got scared of Fantasia.
He,
he has no business watching a scary movie on,
on any drugs.
It would be fun to hear the story.
I want to deal with that.
Yeah, man, it's good.
Yeah, it was solid.
Oh, the UFC fights. Taylor, you missed it again,
but Jackie,
Kyle, me, and a bunch
of Patreons hung out and
watched the UFC fights. Oh, shit. When's the next one?
Saturday. I'd have to look it up.
Is it really?
I mean, it's probably a fight night Saturday, right?
It seems like there's more fights
than there aren't. The next real one that they
number.
Probably three weeks, four weeks or something.
What's the proportion?
299 is the next one?
299 will be gigantic.
That's an amazing card.
What is the proportion of real numbered events
to the fight nights?
Smaller ones ones just by feel
alone it seems like there's one to one almost there's almost always a fight night maybe i'm
exaggerating but it seems like there's more weekends that have fights than don't have fights
i didn't know that so there's a fight night i I think Friday's. What's the 24th? Is that Friday or Saturday?
I have this idea that fight nights are Fridays, but I'm not sure.
The 24th is Saturday.
Saturday.
Okay.
So Kyle's right.
Saturday is the next one.
The next numbered one is March 9th.
March 9th.
Do you have the card?
But yeah, we had a good time hanging out with the patrons.
I'll have Ben watch that one.
Watching the fights.
I didn't really love the patrons. I've been watching that one. Watching the fights.
I didn't really love the outcomes.
Yeah.
I don't think they were any great fights. I was on fire in Jackie's opinion.
Everything you said was funny.
She's like, can we just turn down everyone but Kyle?
Kyle was in a story and he got interrupted.
I forget what he was talking about.
And she's like, this must be what Hangouts are like.
Can you just shut everyone up except Kyle?
Funny enough, that's how Kyle uses Discord anyway.
Everyone's on 7%.
Yeah, I can't hear them interrupting.
No, Jackie's my biggest fan.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, I'm going to roll in there.
I bring my A game.
We have a good time tonight.
I'm going to come to the next one.
Try and compete
you can open all right
all right i'm gonna hey everyone welcome to the fight nights i'm taylor
yeah i like i like get nervous i'm like hey hey huh
i went to hofstead his comedy, and the impressive thing to me was how he opened the show and closed it, by the way.
And he trained the crowd to be a good crowd.
He told people how lame it is to be a bad crowd and how you should just laugh and be quiet and enjoy the show.
And you're laughing, right?
I fell for it.
I was like, damn, all right. I'm going to be the best crowd he's had this joke. And you're laughing, right? I fell for it. I was like, damn, all right.
I'm going to be the best crowd he's had this year.
You know, we had this one guy in here who didn't laugh all the time.
You know what we did?
We killed him.
It was bad in mind as I tell these jokes.
Only rapists and pedophiles interrupt comedy shows, folks.
Behaving that way after he says it has the same like uh do you remember being in church or
like a school assembly and the teachers like in grade school would be like i need five strong boys
to come over here and i'd always be like knuckle crack on the i it's time for me to be tricked into
would you believe they would you believe they try to pull the same
shit in prison?
This cunt of an administrator
gathers everybody up and she's
like, they did it
twice in a row, back to back, and I caught it both
times and knew what was going on.
Frankly, I didn't feel like most people did.
She's like, first, the choir director has a little announcement
that she needs three
more beautifully voiced gentlemen to join. And keep in mind, there's a lot of perks and privileges when you're in the choir director has a little announcement that she needs three more beautifully voiced gentlemen to join.
And keep in mind, there's a lot of perks and privileges.
When you're in the choir, you're going to be singing for the Bureau of Prisons.
And, of course, you get the fried chicken, you know, fricassee at the end of the year.
By the way, that's why everybody was in there because of the fried chicken dinner that was coming.
It didn't happen. Oh coming it didn't happen oh it didn't happen they they didn't that what happened it came time they sang
we all gathered the choir sang my boy um snow he was in the choir up there fucking singing looking
covered all tatted the fuck up and he's fucking like an angel sweet caroline europe europe prisoners got old flight
guys like you got this boss train good um and no fried chicken he came back i was like did you get
your chicken you man he didn't have nothing up there it was either fried chicken or a pizza
party it was one or the other for all these grown men to show up and like sing every week for for months on end apparently um but then she was also like like she called for volunteers to
go make sandwiches for the fucking like real prison up the up the hill the medium like they're
locked down because they can't behave themselves my buddy, somebody got stabbed in the throat.
And I'm like, fuck, she made it sound like somebody farted out loud.
Did he die? Nah, I got him in
the infirmary. Everybody else is locked down.
So they're gonna be
in their cells for a little
while, so we need some guys to make sack
lunches. Don't
raise your hand. You're going to be making PB&J
and shoving it in slots for hours.
This isn't giving me the real deal.
And that's what it was.
They wanted me to do it, and I had the excuse
that I didn't have my medical check because I always
aborted that medical check and wouldn't show up for it
because I knew if you were medically checked, you could work.
So I didn't get medically checked.
You didn't work where it would have made the time pass.
I know. I had my Harry Potter and I had the Martian, had Stephen King.
It depends on the work.
If it was automotive repair and stuff like that,
it might be what I would find an interesting way to spend the day.
That's what my boy said.
My cellmate, my original cellmate, the younger Mexican-ish guy,
he had two, maybe three jobs on some days.
And it was car repair. I think he did oil changes and spark plugs and shit like that
up there. But I just really found it effective. If I was going to be spending
years there, sure. But for just killing a month, I just wanted to
sleep and read and watch TV because those things make time pass so fast.
You can wake up and half a day is gone.
You definitely right.
But I think your sentence away.
I only have many of them.
Like,
like,
let's say you're going to read for six hours.
I have three of those in a week.
Probably.
Oh,
no,
no.
I read for six or eight hours and I would get up and like break that
monotony with like going,
going outside or just going to watch 30 minutes of tv or
something and or eating maybe and then just go right back to it or go to sleep just read then
sleep read then sleep i slept a lot did people ever wonder snow called me sleepy sometimes yeah
if he didn't call me wet though which means whitey he. He called me sleepy. He's come on sleepy. It's time to go.
And you're like,
I'm trying to get through this and I need to find out what happens to Dumbledore.
Oh,
I told him all about Dumbledore.
That was when we were walking around the track.
Like I really like you,
man,
but that's fucking gay.
No,
he wanted to know.
He was like,
well,
tell me about that little Harry Potter guy.
But so I, you know, I tell him about that. And then he'd tell me about that little Harry Potter guy.
So I'd tell him about that, and then he'd tell me.
It was like Harry Potter.
She taught me how to ride and ride, and I taught her how to hang and ride a dangle or whatever the fuck.
I'd tell him about fucking Harry Potter,
and he'd tell me about that drug deal that went bad.
He's like, and so then one time I was there with the coke, right?
And then this guy, he comes out, he's swinging at me.
And so I pop, pop.
Anyway, Kyle, what's the deal with like the big guy in the woods?
Hagrid's the best.
He's got this big fucking monster named Buckbeak.
It's like, I don't know, half lion and half owl or something like that.
They ride around on it. Nobody can ride it but Harry. Man, I love't know, half lion and half owl or something like that. They ride around on it.
Nobody can ride it but Harry.
Man, I love your musical knowledge, Kyle.
It makes me feel like I'm not locked up for being incredibly violent.
They told him one day that he was like, turns out they say that I'm a threat to society.
They literally designated him a threat.
I would love to do it.
Turns out I'm a threat to society.
I think I'd be like a Slytherin.
I think I'm like that
Voldemort guy, Kyle.
Don't say that, Snow.
I tried to argue with the parole board,
but it turns out even they
had me convinced by the end.
I told them I'd stab you.
If you don't let me out of here, I'm going to molest you and stab you in the face.
No, he didn't like to stab.
He was a stabber, not a stabby.
No, he was a shooter.
And probably a shootee as well, at one point or another.
I think he had been stabbed.
I don't think he'd ever been shot.
Shot at, that counts that counts oh who knows i've been watching my police activity speaking of that and i saw this crash end and like the guy's driving a van or something it turns sideways and the cops
t-bone him you know stopping the chase and the guy comes out his own window bad guy like starts
crawling out his side window with a gun and he's like shooting at the cop he's
got his ass on like the window seal and like one hand hanging on the top of the car and he's bang
bang bang but then he falls and so now he's dangling kind of upside down like like like
like forrest gump and he's got his legs hooked into the driver's side window and he's hanging
upside down and he's still trying to shoot which would be impressive if his magazine hadn't fallen right out oh no one shot left so the cop takes note of
this and just runs right up to him and starts like shooting him in the face he's just like
blank blank blank blank blank blank blank and like grabs the gun from him puts it on the hood
of the car you're all you're watching from like the hood of the car cam it's crazy you know i i even though the cop knows that he's disarmed and shoots him in the
face i don't call it a bad shooting i mean oh i don't think you can shot back oh spotting that
mag falling out like he'd have no idea if oh you think he didn't know oh he had no idea no
we're on the fight note of it and walked i took note of it and walked out. I took note of it. In any case, if the dude's hanging upside down
stuck that way, it'd be so cool
to curb stomp him.
Bottom of your foot while he's hanging upside down.
I saw another one
that was fucking crazy.
Female cop and male cop have this guy pulled over
for weaving and now we smell
marijuana in his car and he's like,
I'm not getting out of the car!
I'm not getting out of the car i'm not getting out of the car and it escalates and escalates and they got the driver's side door open and he's like you were gonna listen to her commands she gave you a lawful order i'm gonna
tase you and sure enough she goes give it to him the guy's like ah why are you doing this to me lady cop she's like i'm gonna pull you out
of there grabs bad guy male cop gives him another five second ride but she's hanging on to the
motherfucker so she gets tased too she goes ah she just yeah i got tased. And like turns around, scared and like takes a few steps
like off to his like left
and you hear and the
bad guy slams the door shut.
And he goes, I'm gonna tase you again.
And he goes,
and then the bad guy produces a handgun.
Kills the
male cop who had the taser.
Dead.
Lady cop goes, oh shit. Start oh shit starts running he goes i told you
bang bang bang wings her get dressed he drives out in the field like makes a loop and drives
past her and she's she's shooting at him shoots the car a couple times he gets the fuck away and
he's in the it's like a she's putting tourniquets on by Bystanders are having to come by. She's helping them put the tourniquet on, like an emergency thing.
She lives.
The partner's dead.
There was a five-day manhunt where some of his family hid him.
By the way, if y'all ever know somebody who's manhunting, don't help them.
It's a serious offense.
He got half his family going to prison with him.
He's in big trouble.
I think they hit him with first degree murder.
First degree.
Yeah.
That's the worst degree.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah. I don't know.
Isn't it?
Exactly.
It is the worst.
I was like,
is it?
So first degree has a lot to do with whether you planned it meant to do it.
Yeah. And I'm like, did they over So first degree has a lot to do with whether you planned it meant to do it.
And I'm like, did they overcharge?
I'm not sure.
It's because of what he said.
He's like, I told you I'd kill you or something like that.
I'm OK.
He said, I'm OK.
He says something while he's doing it and they make note of it. And they put it on the screen.
Like at this point, he like threatens and something, something, something.
I think they're using that to establish
some sort of intent to cause the murder or some premeditation.
He screamed, this is premeditated.
I feel like I've been dreaming about this day.
I've heard people say a million times
that they should teach tax law in school
because people come out of school
completely unaware of how taxes work.
And it takes like one or two decades for people to learn more than just their
own situation to get a grip on how taxes work a little better. Cool.
That's how I feel with the law in general. Do I know my constitutional rights? Can I
tell a police with certainty when I am and am not allowed
to avoid a search? I don't know for sure. If a cop
you know that thing the cops do
where they like get you to open your door then put their foot in it and now you can't like close
your door without assaulting them yes i don't know it varies and it's my oh it varies from i saw like
one of those internet lawyers talking about this when he goes yes and no and it's like okay so
fuck i wanted a yes or i could have told you that you asshole
like like you you have the you pass the bar to say yes and no um i think the way to do it
especially if they're wanting to search something that you don't want them to search
um is to make sure that everybody's body cameras on and say are you ordering me to allow you to
search this do i have a choice? Because my choice is no.
But if you are forcing, if you are giving me a lawful order, I think that's the verbiage.
Are you giving me a lawful order to enter my vehicle right now?
You are?
Because I've seen those guys on YouTube be like, you are?
And he goes, yes.
And the guy goes, jackpot.pot lock me up cocksucker and then in
the bottom it's like 95 000 with id a lot the cop will be like give me your id and they're like no
give me your id i do not consent to a search i don't want to give you my ID. Are you ordering me to get,
am I detained and ordered to give you my ID?
And they're like,
I want you to give my ID,
right?
Like they'll just keep trying to phrase it in a way that sounds mandatory
adjacent,
but it's not actually mandatory.
And it's not until they say,
I come.
We need to have a talk.
Yeah.
Right.
So I've seen that but still i could name a
half a dozen things like yeah do i have to give id do i have to get out of my car
do i have to open the door if you put your foot in my door am i able to get the door closed again
like i have a bunch of things i don't know what my rights are exactly i wish they taught that in
school better yeah yeah i don't think we hit on that at all i don't know ple my rights are exactly. I wish they taught that in school better. Yeah, I don't think we hit on that at all.
I don't know.
Pleading the fifth.
That's like the extent of it.
My guess would be that if your keys are not in the ignition,
then they can't mess with you at all if you're on private property.
Unless, I don't feel like you have to talk to them.
Like you certainly can't be, I don't think they can DUI you either, unless the
vehicle's underpowered.
If a cop knocks on your window and tells you you have to,
or be in your best interest, or something like that...
Can't hear you!
I'm deaf.
It takes some balls
to not obey a cop.
For me, anyway. Maybe some people do it
instinctively. Or some foolishness.
Yeah.
What's the goal in not obeying the cop the anyway like like right like i've never had any i don't
think i've ever lied to the police i've refrained from from answering some questions
the goal is to minimize the trouble you get into so often it feels like oh cop first guy in the
chain that needs to be charmed.
And here you are, or here I am, I should say, not knowing fuck all about the law, trying to charm a guy who does this for a living.
Yeah, that's silliness.
It's a mistake.
Yeah, Best Bet has not talked to them at all. But like in a traffic stop, it's just like, just don't be drunk.
Don't have drugs in your car.
And because I've let them search my car because I know that I'm like, I don't want that dog to scratch my car.
I don't want to wait for a dog.
Yeah, search the car.
There's nothing in it.
Like, I don't mind.
I'm not trying to stand because I know that he.
Isn't that ridiculous, though?
Like, you probably feel like, what the fuck?
Like, there's nothing in my car.
I took it out earlier.
I just didn't mind, like, when that would happen. It's like, yeah, look around. Like. I took it out earlier. I just didn't mind
when that would happen. It's like, yeah, look around.
I hope you feel better. We chat
about this while you do it. I just don't give a shit.
I'm not in a hurry.
Fair enough. I mean, usually
when you're talking to a cop in any
way, the only goal is
how does this end sooner
and just you go away?
Nah, I like talking to them.
I like to talk to a cop.
Yeah.
The more I say, the greater my chances of saying the wrong thing is where my head is.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk about that smell.
Yeah.
You follow the Braves?
They're a fucking bullshit organization officer.
You know it and I know it, okay?
Bobby Cox, I piss on his grave, okay?
Fuck Bobby Cox.
He's not dead yet?
I wish he was.
He's got like a replica ring on, arrests you.
I was Bobby Cox's personal security from 1993 to 1999, you scumbag.
Whips out that baton.
What kind of bludgeoning device would you carry if you were a cop?
Uh,
I wouldn't want one of those snap out batons.
Those are pretty slick.
Snap up a ton. Probably what I'd actually carry.
I like how it's both big and small.
It's only,
but I hate to interrupt you but it's only useful as a pain giving instrument it's it's not um heavy
enough and stout enough to put somebody well that's just going to aggravate the situation
like if you're trying like oh do you do you want a person who's struggling to struggle with all their might well
let's start hurting them i don't care if she struggles or not oh wow you don't think you can
wrap somebody upside the head with that and and i don't think i'm out of the fire no aren't they
made of like steel yeah that they the telescopes though like it's it there's some there's some
heft to it but i'm telling you hit me in the head with it i'm i'm gonna start bleeding but i'm gonna be so upset when we handle the nightstick yes it's
hardwood and it's dense but i'm a little bit i the hardwood thing is not to be underestimated
like i don't think i could put a dent in it with my fingertip or fingernail. I mean to say definitely not.
It is hardwood.
Like I've,
I've worked a lot of wood in my days and I just,
I don't have any wood that hard.
They must be the paint or treatment that's on the outside of it.
I don't know.
Is it epoxied wood or something?
It's called dummy head wood from the Black Islands of Madagascar.
You know how when you fall on ice, it's like, wow, somehow ice seems harder than concrete.
I didn't know things got harder than concrete.
That's how nightsticks impress me.
Might be harder than concrete.
It seems harder than metal somehow.
And it's heavy.
And it's like, this is a hitting thing.
And also, of course, there's the long side of it that you can
hit people like with the side but when you run it along next to your form and do the poking thing
i mean i've never hit anyone with it but it was like oh my god this is a really brutal way to hurt
somebody yeah it's like a punching motion but with the poking stick break someone's rib if i'm
swinging a stick then it's life or death and i want to i want a big cell
mag light flashlight because those things are so heavy and so hard and i feel like if i get if you
hit someone in the head with it they're going down that's the only reason to be hitting someone with
a fucking stick if you're a cop if you're fighting for your life right because i i bet it's on what
if they're protesting my favorite president oh that's a different baton you know we used to well
that's a different situation too those were riot cops now that now i kind of like that's kind of where
my head was like camera which country has like the samurai armor for their riot cops they would
like like overlapping well i have a guess shit it might be germany might be japan samurai armor
i don't know how you're drawing those conclusions because i've
mine's a long story but my paramotor instructor
the first one i had was a german riot cop prior to prior to the job that i knew him having and
he would talk about the tactics they used like they'd identify a person and uh they just march
in sync you know even with like a humph hum humph. They get the one person, pull them
into the middle of the crowd of cops, and then back
off. Now the rest of the
crowd who wants to rescue this person who's
been isolated from their group really
doesn't want to enter all the policemen.
Basically, I looked
at this and
watched them in action. Who is that,
Zach? Is that German? Let's guess.
Let's guess before he tells us. I'm going to say
that's...
Those are South Americans.
And they have
money.
I saw Zach give
the answer, so I'm not going to... Yeah, I saw the answer too, which is
why I like Kyle go. It's Peru.
Peru. Yeah, I guess
shit gets wild in Peru.
This can't be peru
look asian maybe philippines i'm gonna say that that's bullshit armor i bet it's thin and plastic
and they're embarrassed to wear it i bet it's like wearing a bunch of milk cartons and like
409 bottles dude they wouldn't let you play ice hockey in those i was hoping that kyle was going to have like american level geography like oh they look south american and wealthy finland
it's like have you ever seen have you ever watched highlights of i don't remember what his name is
no and rainbolt that's what his twitter handle is and maybe his youtube channel he's uh i think
it's rainbolt he's like the number one geoguessr player in the world
and it is it's it's it's cool to see somebody be so good at something that you didn't know
was even a skill set but he'll like see one frame i saw him do a challenge where it was like
like an eighth of a second just boop and then it disappears and he'll be like okay well i noticed that the light on the right
side of the road first of all we're driving on the right side of the road there's two yellow
lines that divide ours are the lane from the shoulder uh based on the camera telescopic on
the google car i can tell that they only mount it this way in a couple places usually it's towards
the rear but it's clearly the camera
angles toward the front. This is absolutely Argentina
and I'm going to get it south of Buenos
Aires. And it's like,
what the fuck? And he gets within like eight miles.
I got a horror district. He often
looks at the plants too.
That's insane. Give away for him.
I saw him. He's
the southern hemisphere. I don't remember
the context of it,
but someone had to find a package thief.
So they showed somebody's front door,
and then he found that like house on Google Maps.
That's really cool.
They have geoguessr for Tarkov.
So they show you a screenshot of like,
this is what your character sees.
Now circle on the map where you think it is.
Oh, God.
And it's not easy.
They don't show you, like, the sawmill on woods.
They show you, like, three trees
and a rock. You see, like,
some trees and a rock, and you're like, where are you?
And you go, and just... Do live streamers
play that? I'd love to see that.
I think I saw maybe Veritas
and maybe Clean playingitas or and maybe um clean playing
it or something it's uh they're the same every time they're not like random generation no they're
the same every time okay yeah but they're very very big and a lot of the maps like it's not like
how call of duty does trees where they're yeah that's the tree patch there's eight of them
there's a map called woods where you can wander through green trees.
And just 20 minutes later,
you're still wandering in green trees.
And it's just like,
I know the map now,
but it's very scary in that map,
uh,
in that game,
because you've got a time limit if you don't get out in the minute and you
lose all your shit and you'll be laying in some dark corner with a map on your other monitor
like
stand your character up look out the window
pizza mutt
oh yeah they couldn't use pizza you lay back down
go back to your map
pizza mutt
what's the cod 4 map there's a river through the
middle of it it's mostly
grassy there's a overgrown
I think it is a no no no
overgrown is the dryer is grandma's like attic is one of the call outs for overgrown that is
overgrown it's grandma's attic yeah yeah thank you okay a tarkov map is typically like 30 or
40 times larger than overgrown oh yeah it's a lot that's the biggest cod map man overgrown was such
a great map in the map pool of call of duty cod 5 cod 5 had gigantic maps oh i mean in just cod 4 i
don't know maybe countdown countdown might be bigger than than that and god 4 had uh expansion
maps that were bigger one had a river in it too i think creek creek was modern warfare small
no well it may have been in modern warfare too
but it's a cod 4 map it's the dlc map in addition to broadcast that was the other creek and also
showdown most people forget showdown was actually added um like a few months into the game's life
creek was the one where there was a like log mansion at the top, right? Yeah, it was terrible.
I think it had, bar none, the most lopsided starting positions
of any map of Call of Duty I've ever played,
where it was like, oh, we started on the top.
We win, guys. That's great.
Oh, great. To me, Bog is that map.
Bog felt rough on both sides sometimes.
We would have a shot on Bog immediately.
We wouldn't take our home flag.
We'd just all go up the right side
and just kill them all and capture their flag.
And now all of a sudden,
the first time they respawn,
it's on the wrong side of the map.
Like, wait, what gives?
And then they die again.
And now we have B.
And now that's their spawn.
You mean the shitty spawn that was behind
that segment of concrete wall yeah
in a little corner with a fire barrel yeah like there's there's nowhere to move out from there
that doesn't put you directly in a sniper scope i would go into the opposite building the adjacent
one where there's like a fruit stand with an rpd with deep impact and i'm just waiting on you to
spawn in your little corner i can see through two different windows and i'm just tap firing a hundred
round magazine at you it was fun to spawn trap people.
We did that for hours every night.
There's nothing better than getting a good spawn trap and just RPD fixed grip shipment shooting right into that corner between the shipment containers.
Sometimes you get like you'd like you get like three in the row, four in a row, all spawning in there.
And then, you know, there's another spawn point that I can I have deep impact on, obviously.
So just angle over a little bit, shoot into the little crevice point on the other one.
And it was like it was there was.
But then when you fell into the cycle of being the spawn killed guy, you're like, this is gay.
This game sucks.
I only like shipment when I get to go 147 and three then that's you know those
are the games if you want to play people are like xville xville camping has always been a thing in
tarca but um i saw someone made a video called infill camping and basically what they've done
is they've they're killing player scavs they get into a window and they know right where they're
going to spawn and they're just waiting with their crosshairs up and just tapping them in the head
and they've got a Auschwitz
size pile of bodies of players
cast by the time they're done there's like 10 or 11 of them
piled up because as soon as they spawn in they just get
shot it's great
Com did a pretty good job of making sure that no one
spawned in your site
like the player's site would
like turn off a spawn point
Tarkov doesn't really do that.
Fun point,
when I did my dual comm with wings,
this is like 2010
or something, I had all these
talking points prepared and I knew
of a spawn point where
if you look through the fence, you could see people
spawn. And in the gameplay,
I'd camp there and killed like two people right as
they came in and i was
like oh you know little glitch here this is a chain link fence the game behaves like you can't
see through it but watch me and uh i felt like it was part of why i got subscriber boost out of that
like if i'm watching that and i see that tip i'm like i'm gonna follow this guy the snowball of
that tip really led to a great life imagine if that game had been coded better
thank you at the time it was like oh i think i found a new nade spot
fuck team art's already all over it he's already got three videos on the
nade spots and jumps or whatever. He is a little pro gamers.
Watch team arts videos for tips and tricks.
I know that because they said they did.
I don't know.
I don't know what he does now.
I'm sure he still makes a lot of videos because he's such a big YouTuber,
but I don't know what he probably not a cod guy anymore.
Yeah.
I also haven't followed his YouTube career,
but I know that he's,
I don't know.
I think he's monetarily set.
I hope his dog's okay.
It's been a while, hasn't it?
That's going to be an old lab.
They don't keep well.
Wait, his dog was...
His dog got famous after CSGO.
I remember that now.
That's during the UFC fight.
Mark Zuckerberg's there with his wife.
I saw a
clip of him like fist bump handshake yeah yeah nice and awkward like give a little fingertip
thing like you're splitting yeah tickling mark zuckerberg's finger um but but yeah i guess uh
the the fighter was choking the guy out and he's like yelling at mark zuckerberg for some reason
he in the he picked the guy up and carried him across the ring.
I think he threw him down in front of Zuckerberg to like give him a better show.
Zuckerberg, that's at least his second event he's gone to because I know his wife, there was like memes made because his wife was with him in the last one and she looked terrified.
Just terrified of like what she was seeing. Dude, I have a dog story.
I'm sorry.
I thought I called you under was on the years no my mom
my mom's like she's either 74 or 76 like that's the range right so she's older and she's carrying
her little dog katie i think it might be a bijan free j or maybe even smaller than that i know
taylor has a soft spot solid dog so then she's like standing in the park,
her dog's in her arms,
just doing almost nothing.
And a dog I had never heard of.
Have you guys ever heard of a Catahoula leopard dog?
Well, of course I've heard of a Catahoula leopard dog.
I thought you might have.
Are you being sincere?
Yeah.
Okay.
During my exotic pet searching times,
I've looked at many a hound and kundo.
The Catahoula leopard dog is this strong, bulky dog who was bred to keep hogs out of farmers' fields.
They're supposed to exercise them like an hour a day.
And while she's sitting there, just standing still, holding her dog in her arms, this dog comes running at her.
Just like a gallop.
Like, and then it stops.
That's a sweet one.
It's like a puppy.
But this one apparently was terrifying.
And they're known to be, like, protective of the family and mean to everyone who's not living in the house.
And then he runs up to my mom and he sits.
And she's like, okay okay this dog is just sitting
maybe everything is fine maybe i can leave so that's what she does she the backs away from the
dog and that's when the dog bit my mom it bit her in the leg like in the back of her leg and i have
pictures of it and it's it's a good bite man let me make sure damn
like a stitches hospitalization
level bite
yeah so
hold on I'm looking carefully to make sure I don't
fuck this up
getting bit by a dog
this is her bite
on the back of his mouth
it looks like it's from a movie
like a vampire got her
vampires will change your memory Woody the back oh no yeah it looks like it's something from a movie like a vampire got her wait you're
not vampires will change your memory woody to think it's a catahoula i got my memory from her
it's a real problem so anyway the dog bit her on the back of the leg and um uh got her good just
she said to the dog's credit like it did bite and bite hard obviously you saw the wound
but it didn't like rip and tear or try to crocodile roll or anything that would make it worse it was
just a puncture and a release and um then the dog like she got separated from the dog or something
and she went to the hospital for it and she had to get rabies shots and tetanus shots always fun
yes it sucks and then uh they i guess they found out who the dog's owner was
and apparently this guy is really cool he's really nice and um i think he was really concerned about
getting sued and uh he should be he should be incredibly concerned about it because he's the
friendliest guy you've ever met yeah it turns out that when this guy's terrified of getting sued,
he takes all that energy that should be going into training a dog
and goes to mitigating a legal matter.
Super well-dressed.
He had very polite, cute kids.
He was just like the perfect family man.
How are we meeting this man's kids?
I don't know how the arrangement happened.
I'm going to bring a dog to bite his kid.
Then we can be on here.
Yeah. I guess my mother
was sitting with him and she
was like, look, you're going to be
okay. She said, I am not going to sue
my neighbor and I'm not going to sue a fellow
Christian. That's what she said.
And I have
like Cadillac health
insurance. So this is not
a financial impact on anybody.
And this is going to financial impact on anybody and uh you know this is gonna end and
the guy turned his dog into the police and the police killed the dog oh that's how it happened
the guy turned his dog in the police contacted my mom to confirm that there really was a bite
and she described it as a moderate bite because again it wasn't a nip that did nothing like a scratch but it also wasn't a tear and you know crocodile type thing yeah we see and um yeah so
she's on antibiotics now she got tetanus the tetanus shots man they killed the dog oh yeah
and and she was very clear to me she had nothing to do with the dog that guy hated that dog that
dog rubbed out no she does not like the outcome. She's like that.
She had wished that he, I guess it's the state dog of Louisiana.
So her idea was to take the dog to Louisiana and have it rehabbed in some way.
Let it roam free.
She had a whole Christian dog school planned for him.
She did, yeah.
They were going to teach him how to love the Lord.
She did not describe the dog as ferocious or anything.
She defended the dog to the police.
Eli Goldberg here, dog owner and practicing Christian.
Please don't sue me.
But if you do, my cousins...
Goldberg is not a very Christian name.
No, I know.
I was pretending.
I get it.
That's sad for the dog.
But also, that dude
wanted to get rid of that dog. He that dude wanted to get rid of that dog.
He leaned into this to get rid of the dog.
That wasn't that dog's first incident.
My mom has the same theory, and it's just a theory.
We don't know what's true.
She doesn't know for sure.
But either that dog is bitten somebody else, or he didn't find it to be out of character for the dog.
I had a mean dog.
We talked about it before with the muzzle and everything.
Kyle met it.
You know, like I feel for his position.
Look, like I said earlier, if you got a family member, friend, whatever, colleague who's a fugitive of the law, don't help them.
But you don't have to turn them the fuck in.
Damn, that only a white owner
would turn the dog into the cop you'd never see a black guy be like fact check true
yeah my dog bit somebody i'm trying to turn this mud in yeah yeah i've seen it i yeah i'll test your fire on it no don't come by now i gotta put some things away
come right over what well not now i'm at work of course
i'm an entrepreneur
she's healing um she's a little more sore now than she was the day it happened
uh tetanus and uh rabies shots that's
i said tetanus i meant rabies shots were in the wound they had multiple rabies shots or is it
four angled one oh i think my mom you're asking multiple sessions i don't know yeah i can get a
second one right maybe now that they have the dog the the rabies scare is over? Question mark? Yeah, we had the dog the whole time.
We didn't need to do this at all.
I wouldn't have gotten the shots if we had the dog.
And clearly the dog wasn't foaming at the mouth, you know?
That's very true.
Why take the shots if you...
Well, the dog...
At the time she got the shots, all she knew was a strange dog ran up to her and attacked unprovoked.
Maybe you get rabies shots. All she knew was a strange dog ran up to her and attacked unprovoked. Maybe you get rabies
shots. Fair enough. I wait until I'm starting
to be a little afraid of water and then I
get the shots. First
I get all dried out. I look great.
Then I go to the hospital
shredded. Then I
take some shots for Tinder.
Take some shots for Tinder. Then I'll get treats.
I'm homing at the mouth.
LGBTQR positive. Well, ripped. take some shots for tinder yeah take some shots man i'll get tree homing at the mouth lgbtq are positive well rip rip the cat that dog although maybe not really it did bite an elderly woman
for no reason probably for the best right i mean i guess there's a lot of great dogs out there that
wouldn't bite an elderly woman yeah i was excited that it was going to go to its home state and go to some sort of
measures.
I have some locusts down there.
My mother is a dog lover.
I've had dogs since, I guess, for 40 years now.
Yeah.
She would not want any part of killing a dog.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
I wouldn't want that.
Well, not all dogs go to heaven.
No.
A lot of them go to hell or purgatory.
This one's a hell dog.
If you get killed by the police,
you always go to hell. That's how it works.
Does it?
I was going to say cops.
Suicide sends you to hell.
It's dog rules. You get killed by a cop,
you go to hell.
That's a terrible rule.
I'm not dog god. I don't make the rules.
You think their rules are fucked? Look at ours.
We have some pretty
stringy rules on heaven, too.
I mean, you've had far too much
shellfish to make
it in, my friend. As far as I know,
they forgive just about anything.
St. Peter's gonna be like,
when they said, oh, you can eat,
they didn't mean it like that, my son. It's going to be like, when they said, oh, you can eat, they didn't mean it like that, my son.
It's awesome.
I still smell bad, like low tide,
the way you smell after a post-crab leg feast.
Do they do all-you-can-eat crab?
You're wearing the bib that has lobster on it.
They do all-you-can-eat crab
if you go to a very not-reputable establishment
at this point.
If you're getting good crab at this point, they're not going to offer it all you can they cancel
the crab season again like two years in a row so crab are rarer than rare reproduce yes yeah i need
i need maybe that's another trump campaign promise so get me behind him bringing back crabs snow
crabs for all we're taking the mexican crabs they've got good crab
they absolutely would not have good warm water crab it's the sweetest crab you've ever had
i can solve this me and me alone underwater speakers playing barry white get those crabs
to reproduce seasons back on but only in the last only the good crabs i know we're over time here but did you see trump
sneakers yes those are this is how i felt when the nfts came out this is how like i hope i hope
some chinese investor doesn't suddenly buy like eight million pairs of these 400 sneakers because
that would be a bad look but oh my god those are the ugliest fucking sneakers. I want a pair, and I'd buy them for $200.
I would pay $200 for those sneakers.
But $400 is outrageous.
Just for the memes, they're $400.
Those are $400 sneakers.
I'd buy them as an investment.
I mean, they're already reselling on eBay for like $25,000, $5,000, shit like that.
They sold out instantly, but there's only a thousand
of them so i didn't think a thousand pair of sneakers was like that i didn't know that yeah
i didn't know any of what you just said i didn't know that yeah it's like i i listened to both
left and right wing news i swear i do the left wing guys are like, these sneakers suck. Oh, shit. Hang on. I didn't know about the other ones.
How are they selling the red wave fucking sneakers?
I only know about the other ones.
I think these are brand new.
Like, this is a very new.
Dude, that white one looks like what an angel would wear in a movie if they were trying to, like, hit up the angel.
It's very white.
Got the wings on there.
These ones look better than the top
one that i saw they both suit my sense of style i they're so modern i almost wonder like can you
wear these over 50 but i don't know no the tennis shoes wear whatever you want i mean i i'm not
spending 200 on tennis shoes there are rules you have to thread the needle when you're old of not looking like Volkanovski in his like, you know, parody and not looking like some emo kid or something like you can't pull that off either.
Forever 21.
Not forever.
Yeah, that was that was Trump perfume.
Like, like, can you imagine a better joke gift for your your your lady?
Is that a hundred dollar bottle of Trump perfume?
That's actually a hundred dollars for the perfume that's so reasonable versus the four hundred dollar shoes here's what i'm thinking though like you get her to you get you get her to smell it
and wait till she's like yeah that is nice thank you it's trump perfume it's called victory 47 and
if you ever want some more that's where you have you have to go to trump dude i need probably i would need the one with his bust
on the top that's the male that's the cologne which i'm i'm almost out of i wear ck1 and my
bottle's almost empty maybe i go the trump is like a youtuber coming out with merch and shit
i mean he's basically a social media guy i am the shoes
don't appeal to me but the idea of having them appeals to me here's why like if you were like
woody i found an old i like like campaign button you know the kind that pins on i'd be like dude
this is really cool to me this is a piece of history or a dewey wins oh yeah yeah like that
kind of political piece of history is appealing to me and i'm like
this is that in real time regardless of what you think about trump that's what this is uh and if
you like that kind of thing then you'd like it yeah i agree i um i didn't realize they sold out
i didn't realize they were limited edition or even for sell yet um but that makes sense that's jesus they deliver
in july so four hundred thousand dollars worth of sneakers yeah yeah now trump's not making them
he's partnered with some of course he already he got his check months ago yeah he might have
he uh he just it's a branding deal for him he's licensed his brand to this sneaker manufacturer
and to me they look look like Walmart sneakers.
That's what I see when I look at them.
But does that matter?
Are you buying them to wear?
Are you buying them to last a long time?
Is that your point?
No.
I can't tell what good sneakers look like, because when I see the Kanye West shoes, I'm always like, those are the most god awful, ugly, aesthetically
displeasing, looks halfway
done, big goofy
like platform. That's not fair
though. His shoes like
extends beyond the width
of your foot. You just look like a fucking Uber.
Zach, would you please pull up Yeezys?
Yeah, show us a pair of Yeezys. I think those are
known for being ridiculous looking and that's kind of the part
of the charm. But like those Lebrons that i want if i didn't
hate him and despise all that he is um like like i i i think they're great
yeah those are ugly as shit i got a pair of these um it looks like the color is like a
dentist's waiting room hard carpet like that they come in colors kids are playing on the floor and you try to but it's too hard for an adult yeah see here's the
lineup yeah they're all those sneakers i thought they were ridiculous lame like astronaut sneakers
or something and then a year later i felt like a lot i i'm out of i'm not a sneaker head but that idea of like a
really lightweight sort of mesh not hot sneaker became the norm and i have these adidas sneakers
that i don't think are they're maybe inspired by yeezys like they're in that same family of having
a really light mesh around them and i like it so i didn't like it at first but it won me over
yeah i like that too but they're like $50 Nikes.
Yeah, I'm more talking about like the Crocs, like the Crocs from the future, like the third row from the top.
Those are the ones that eat.
Yeah, those look wild.
Well, I mean, you know, just think like super Crocs.
I don't mind the other ones.
These are all ugly shit.
Really?
The only problem I have with any of you guys don't like him.
Well, Taylor, I should say, doesn't like him from a style standpoint my only issue is the price yeah the price is like
insult to injury but like the shoes themselves are so bland so lame i feel like i went to yeezy.com
the other day you know he had that super bowl ad where it's just him on his phone in his car
you see that no he had a super bowl ad hits him on his fucking phone in his car in a dark
poorly lit car going yo spend so much money on the spot that this is the this is the spot so
basically i want you to go to yeezy.com that's y-e-e-z-y.com yeezy.com that's his fucking
commercial and it's like how many millions of dollars was that probably six million dollars to do that stupid fucking i mean but i went to easy.com yeah and that's i think he
was selling like oh like like t-shirts for like ten dollars or something like that like i didn't
see anything overpriced but i didn't but you did say i went to easy.com oh absolutely and i'll go
again yeah yeah i just novelty works i've heard taylor might know more about this that super bowl
ads are generally a bad investment that unless they somehow get like a lot of um i'm looking
for reverb or like ripple effect that where you get like free advertisement of it but a super
bowl ad is so expensive that it by itself won't turn you a profit yes yeah like you need a like
a necessary amount of frequency like of an ad to get people to start thinking about it. And you're just not going to get that over the course of a three and four hour broadcast. And so that's why they're all so goofy. Like they they need you to pay attention to that one and like tweet about it or something. commercial for him because it's novel it's him talking it comes off more sincere and genuine
even if it's not because he's sitting in a car and it's so jarringly different from the high
production value of everything surrounding it that it stands out yeah i like kanye i've been um
i i i think he's funny i i like that he's just he's hilarious love his opinions some of his new
album is so funny um i i don't know i like that
his teeth are jaws now i like that wife of his um i'm out of touch with most kanye stuff except
for the whites at which point i am fully informed yeah that's my favorite part about him just like
the fucking public sex and the naked he keeps her like she'll be on a leash
not naked she's wearing like a see-through plastic trash bag on a leash while they walk
through the rain and i'm like that you know what i'm here for it he's having a good time yeah yeah
he's just having fun just tooling around europe having a time he's probably finding some some
some people there that agree with some of his ideas.
Maybe that's what he's been doing in the interim
since they tried to lock up his bank account.
Maybe he's been building like a...
I don't think they tried.
I think they shut his ass down.
Yeah, but they transferred the money
around and he got it.
They don't just steal your money. They just don't want to bank you anymore.
He got debanked, right? So that was like this
really super big deal. Did he just't want to bank you anymore. He got debanked, right? So that was like this really super big deal.
Did he just switch banks?
Yeah, sure. That easy.
Did Bank of America be like, yeah, Kanye,
just don't
talk about me.
Don't rap about
Bank of America and we will be your bank.
That's probably it.
All right, let's probably wrap up
yeah all right uh pkn
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