Painkiller Already - PKN 500

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

pkn 500 i just realized it was 500 gosh darn 500 nice round number imagine what a thousand will be like to be divisible by twice as many things we'll all be nine years older woody will be 60 i'll be 41 kyle will be 46 kyle will be dead no i actually don't you say that Who's most likely not to make it to 1000 I mean you Because of the motorcycle thing It's 100% Why would you even ask I mean let's just be honest

He's just a little bit older than us Yeah but it's not going to be a natural Cause his death in the next 9 years He asked who's most likely Oh but I'm saying that it's entire like if you were tooling around all day every day on your motorcycle kyle and you had been for like a year i'd be like i don't know i might bet on you if if woody was doing what you do which is just like every once in a while taking it out a little less but collision risk motorcycles are scary all it takes is one idiot and you're done. Dude, I made a mistake on my bike like three weeks ago.

I feel like I rarely make mistakes on a motorcycle. It's not that I never fall or anything, but that's off-road and I'm doing something hard at two miles an hour. This was an intersection shaped like a Y, right? And I'm going down one of the two legs to join. I looked at the other Y. I think I had a yield sign. I don't know if we both did or what was up. I looked at the other Y and either the car wasn't there.

And, you know, when I started looking where I was going, it just showed up. Or it was a gray car and it just was invisible to me. Sometimes this like dark gray against it, like it can be the most camouflage of car colors moving along. He had to hit his brakes and he honked at me. And I was like, I think that was me. I think I'm the one that just fucked up.

And I gave him this wave, like my bed. And, uh, and that was the end of the story. I tap my helmet, like, like stupid me yeah that works

too yeah you use both hands oh they know i'm really an idiot immediately fall off too because no balance because i didn't see him the whole way i and he honked at me i have to agree like he thought it was my fault and i didn't know so i'll just take his word for it but that's all i got to go with as a motorcyclist it's like as long as you make it home that's a win right all it takes is one 16 year old on their phone and you're dead yeah that is the thing it's so when i got back into motorcycling i'm on the internet researching like I do everything. And suddenly texting is the dominant, like conversation that motorcyclists are having. They think everyone in a car is on their phone and they're terrible at it.

But truth is when I see a guy like driving poorly or less aware, the phone is a common factor. Oh yeah. Like it's beyond distracting to be looking at your phone while you're driving. I do it. Yeah. I just think I'm better than everybody else though. I don't want anyone else to do it. common factor oh yeah like it's beyond distracting to be looking at your phone while you're driving i i do it yeah i i just think i'm better than everybody else though i don't want anyone else to do it only me everyone does from time to time you got to switch to a new youtube video or whatever you're listening to i'm watching movies you know i'm i'm catching up on i'm

re-watching breaking bad and shit as i like that would be so fucking funny i'm watching shogun hyper focused on those captions and i miss the gray car yeah i can't see the damn detail in this scene the interstate's bumpy today it's loud too it's really screamy did uh did you watch on shogun by the way oh hell yeah i watched one last night it came out earlier than midnight. It was out at like 1030 my time. Oh, then I'm not current.

I didn't know one came out last night. Yeah, I watched five last night. So they come out Monday nights, but technically it's Tuesday. It's like Taylor said. I thought it was midnight when they came out, but I usually wait. I'm going to watch it tonight, like the latest, latest episode. What do you think so far, Woody? I think it's very good.

I know that it's only one season, and that impacts the way that I watch it. I didn't get picked up for a season two. But I like it. I can't put my finger on why I don't think it's amazing. The pacing is almost perfect. You can't pace too fast like they did in, was it called Rome? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's like, whoa, what happened? 10 years past? You already beat the Egyptians? You skipped over the Egyptian war? Right? Or they're traveling from here to there, you know that's a you know a tough journey and they just like fast travel that stuff like all right so that was too fast but then you can also go too slow where game of thrones sometimes it'd be like man i've watched two

episodes i know there's only 10 and i couldn't tell you how the main plot was moved along at all this was just a miss of an episode there are are no misses in Shogun. Everyone has important plot advancements. So the pacing is great. And I'm hypersensitive to that. I just don't. Maybe it's the fact that I'm. Distracted by the reading a little bit. Maybe I enjoy shows less when I read 90% of the dialogue.

I really don't mind. This fifth episode did have a lot. Even for this series of. Just Japanese speaking. But the white guy is starting to figure it out a little bit, so he's throwing it in. But I guess that's just reading still, because it's still Japanese. But I really don't mind that. I don't mind it.

But I would be okay with if at some point they had that moment and you have if you've ever seen the 13th warrior antonio banderas has to learn whatever the viking scandinavian or wherever the viking spoke very quickly right but he's like a genius so he's sitting there at the fire he's watching their mouths and he's like they'll point at a thing and he's like okay and then later on he like he says a whole sentence and but but as he's watching their their lips move it slowly switches from their scandinavian to like english that he's understood like one word at a time will like blah blah blah blah blah dog and he's like yes dog he's like learning as they go i would be okay if they did a little thing like that but i'm also not minding the subtitles at all i did a little quick research so it is one season it is 10 episodes and it's it's but it's um it's the book so they begin at

the beginning of the book and the end at the end of the book oh i read an article just a short interruption that made it sound like it didn't get picked up but i guess that will not be the case that this is one of the more popular shows in the world. Okay. If the creators, who are a husband and wife, by the way, interesting, that usually goes really well. James Cameron made a lot of great stuff with his wife before they got divorced. Really?

Yeah. She was a producer. He's the director. They worked hand in hand. On The Abyss, they're going through their divorce, and funnily enough, that's sort of what's happening to the characters as well. They're going, he's like, that bit, the character. And the movie is like, that bitch. And the guy goes, probably shouldn't have married her, huh?

That's how you find out that his boss is his wife. Can we go with cunt in this scene? Is anyone else feeling cunt? I'm feeling cunt. His wife's over there. Get her out of here. I'm really enjoying it. I can't wait to watch tonight.

The thing about the main white guy is he has that thing that we... So, white people often think that Asian people look alike or that maybe even black people look alike. I have a hard time sometimes with a certain kind of Mexican. They all look the same to me.

But the main white guy in this show looks exactly like the guy from Upgrade. If you can help me here because they're not going to know this. If you find the guy from Upgrade who is just short-haired bearded youngish white man um with the gruff voice but he is the look-alike

for the guy who plays bane all three of those guys that look exactly the fucking same they're like he looks like tom hardy yes tom hardy looks just like the guy from this show who looks just like the guy from upgrade they all have the same the guy from Upgrade. They all have the same look. I need help with this name. You can help me a little. You don't know which one that is? In Boys? The butcher in Keith Urban? Carl Urban? Oh, Carl Urban.

Yeah. Carl Urban. Okay. To me, he looks a lot like Carl Urban. Carl Urban has these flaring nostrils that I think it's why he got cast. I think it's why he got cast i think it's why he got cast to be um um amir or whatever because or am and which one was he amir amir am mir not mir whatever okay i always say i think the tolkien estate will have something to say about that have you seen that that joke meme where it's like, Tolkien comes back

to life, says it's pronounced Jandalf, and immediately dies? That's funny. They were all very gay together. Of course, hobbits are all faggots. Of course, you thought I was using that word because of some British

pal and snow. I was very forward-thinking. When Gandalf said he wanted to smoke a fag, he was not talking about a cigarette, mind you. He meant he wanted to eliminate a foe. It's like, oh my god. He's like three layers down the road. He's so ahead of his time.

Yeah, I guess that guy does look a little simp. I don't see the guy, whoever was just brought up on the screen. I see that, but it could be the beard and angle. I don't see Tom Hardy. That was the guy from Upgrade. And I swear to you, when you see all three of them, like side by side by side with like medium length beard, and they all had the same fucking haircut,

just run a two guard over your head. Like they look the same fucking haircut just run a two guard over your head like they look the same to me when a white guy has a beard and like scraggly hair um they start all looking the same to me that's a struggle i struggled with it in game of thrones a little bit there's only one white guy i can think of in shogun but of note so i don't struggle in there but uh i swear if they swapped out the lead actor for taylor i'd be like yeah everyone else would notice they'd be like this guy sucks at acting okay yeah this is pretty similar that's the that's the thinnest face i've ever seen on tom hardy i feel like he's usually like don't you notice neither one of these are the guy from shogun by the way nostrils

like all right if you pull up carl, you'll see his flared nostrils, and you'll know what I'm talking about. He's got some... Would you, Zach, in a minute? Neither one of these are the guy in Shogun, though. Neither one of them is Aomer. The Shogun dude is a little puffer, I think. The Shogun guy is quite buff.

Yeah, look at those nostrils. That's A amr yeah come on you know what you know he's got a he's got a wider warrior step face who's the shogun white guy i want to see none of the people you just saw i know i know that's why i don't have like a good vibe for him it is not what it looks like zach will have to figure that out cosmo jarvis is the name of shogun whiteiker he's a pretty good actor for a guy I've never even heard of I think he's quite good to me he busts on the scene and acting wise

I don't think he gives up much to the other good actors two bops in one wake he's 34 oh his nostrils are flaring no what I'm saying is He's 34. Oh, his nostrils are flaring. No. What I'm saying is all three of these motherfuckers look very, very similar to me.

I thought that it was the guy, not Tom Hardy, but the guy on the left. I thought the guy on the left was the one in this show until I researched a little. I didn't know his name was Cosmo, but I found out it wasn't that guy. Anywho, good fucking show. Looking forward to watching the new episode tonight.

Hoping there's some more swordplay. The last episode, I'm glad Woody's current now. In the last episode, there's this moment where the white man has given one Japanese clan. A little spoiler tag, Zach. A little spoiler here. The white man has given one band of Japs his fancy Englishman cannons. And up until now, they've only shot Portuguese cannons. And they're like, ah, you can't shoot anything accurately at distance with a cannon.

They're all sort of scoffing. But our boy Tom Hardy, Cosmo, has like good cannons. And he can hit accurately. But lo and behold, here comes the rival uh like like leaders lieutenant to and somehow or another is like ah well stay tomorrow and you can watch a demonstration and they're all trying to figure out what to do because now the bad guy's gonna see they've got accurate cannons and they're in this weird spot and i looked at my girlfriend i'm like this kid's gonna figure it out he's not gonna be brash and stupid. He's going to be his father's son. He's going to miss tomorrow during the big

demonstration. He's going to miss like wild. And the lieutenant will go back home to his boss and be like, oh, not only do they have the most inaccurate cannons I've ever seen, but they think they're good. That Englishman has hoodwinked them all. We shouldn't kill him. Leave him in their care. He will guide them to folly soon. I was like, that's how it's going. It's going to be that fun little, oh, we're smarter than you. No.

Close their asses up in a very blurry fashion. He gorely murders them all with chain shot. It was really cool. He shot in the night before, and then the rival bad guys came and they just never shot them and i'm like oh we're gonna see that chain shot tomorrow and sure enough he turned those bad guys into hamburger meat yeah yeah and i you i mean not a spoiler based on what you've said kyle but but the father is not stoked on it when he meets back up with the son. I mean, this has already been revealed a couple of times, but you can clearly see that that father is like yearning for a capable son.

Like, oh, I wish you were just better at things like I wish that you had the intuition I have to see these geopolitical, you know, strifes and tensions and know how to navigate it instead of him. I agree. And who knows how the kids really been raised. But it has occurred to me that I don't see the dad doing any coaching. I don't see the son in like a junior position under his wing learning. It's just a disappointed father. Like, I don't know, like a musician who never gave his kid a guitar and is pissed off he can't play. I think that it's implied, or at least the way I see it is they've all got these because they're aristocrats. They've all got these like tutors for everything. crafts they've all got these like tutors of for everything i feel like all day he spends his time like with an archery trainer and then with like the guy teaching him to draw his characters correctly and then remember how like the the little emperor that it was like i don't want to

learn characters today and he's like oh you a great emperor must be a master in all things go draw your characters yes i will go draw my character as well no i like that i feel i can imagine him doing the same thing with his punk kid and his kid being like nah for real though i don't want to draw them characters can we shoot the bows can we massacre some some enemies yeah it's like honestly son being good with the bow is such a such a small part of this like there are so many guys in our in our squadron have you ever seen me shoot an arrow son when is the last time where's my bow yeah i don't know i'm gonna learn opportunity costs on the opportunity cost of you being great with a bow is you being a retard who blows people up in the

middle of negotiations because you didn't learn your characters yeah it's not helpful problem i got a thing seems very dishonorable too which which they're for the most part they seem to be very like i mean even the the honorable like feudal sort of like legalisms almost to it the way everything has to be done step by step and you don't want to offend even the person you hate is kind of fun to me. It reminds me of those conversations between Viserys and Littlefinger in Game of Thrones where they're spitting venom but in a very gentlemanly

manner and threatening each other's lives but very gentlemanly. Japanese customs and traditions that need to be honored at all times. So no one is very straightforward. Which, by the way fucking opposite of real life like if you know any like old asian people they're like

huh you got fat and you look older it's like you're you're kind of a cunt why are you saying these things they they would say that if there was one fat character in this whole show. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm talking about traditional American Asians. Yeah, that's my vibe with the old Asians. He did tell his wife, he's like, your butt's been getting a lot bigger. That's the only thing that's changed around here. It's part of their culture, fat shaming. And it's a good part of culture. There's not a fatty in that show.

And they keep wearing robes all day uh yeah they're they're all they all look pretty skinny to me i haven't seen any fatties there was that one guy who was a little but he killed himself so i had a woman with the rump who must be 65 you know even she is above average for 65 yeah she looks pretty we're calling her as the fattest person yeah i mean show. That's true, Kyle. The only guy who was even marginally overweight killed himself. Yeah. Secretly, the

king was like, alright, aesthetic points for my village. Back up. Hey, tumbo's gone. What do we think, guys? And his pre-fat son. More rice for everyone. He was totally pre-fat. Did you see those cheeks? Eight months old, my ass.

He wasn't going to grow out of it. He was like three months old and chubby. Little Buddha had to go. Little butterball. Get yourself a skinny baby. Yeah, so I'm all in on the Shogun show so far. It kind of stinks that it's only five more episodes after this one you guys will watch tonight, but that's also a good thing because it means that it's like

they're not going to be frantic in trying to find a good ending. They already have one. I saw the end of the flying show. What's it called? I cannot remember it. I didn't watch that one. Flying show. There's the one you disliked, Kyle.

There's like a war Masters of the Air yeah yeah Masters of the Air Tom Hanks and somebody important Spielberg and Hanks this Mass of the Air and you'd think it'd be amazing I did get to the end of it and I just couldn't

wrap my arms around why I didn't give a flying fuck about these characters they're being freed from a pow camp and they're like marching through the blizzard and such and i'm like i'd if this is band of brothers this would be so much more impactful like when they'd find the germans and the music and the weight of it and stuff it's not a fun watch but it was kind of heavy i don't know why it's not heavy they're clearly going for it i'm like is it the color grading is it the music why don't i care

i don't know yeah i i don't know either um i i really just didn't i didn't like that main character i felt he was too pretty for one thing but but i think that's the guy that played elvis in the elvis biopicopic. I could see that. I didn't see that. They introduced another main character who you probably didn't meet. The guy that you're thinking of, spoiler, gets shot down and someone else becomes the best pilot. And it turned out these people were in real life people. So at the end, just like Band of Brothers, they showed what they became in real life. And these guys were were wildly impressive.

Harvard law professors and stuff like that. There was less competition back then. There was only five people going for that job, right? Could be. I don't know. All of them were white. Yeah. You can't get a job if you're not a white male.

Don't be stupid. You weren't competing with any women or anyone who wasn't a white guy who didn't also know someone here like you do. I mean, becoming a Harvard Law professor in 1947, I mean, that's like becoming the manager of your local Chick-fil-A. I'm impressed. I bet you get paid well. Dude, they make good money at Chick-fil-A.

There's a Chick-fil-A on every corner. Chick-fil-A is a weird thing, man. Everyone acts like they're the best franchise because the lines are so long, but you don't own it, bro. Well, no, it's the food. Oh, you mean from an owner's perspective? Yes. Yeah, yeah, from an owner's perspective.

Yeah, I can see why you answered the way you did. But yeah, if you're going to own a franchise, you want Chick-fil-A. Every time they move in, the lines are long. Yeah. You buy a Chick-fil-A for hundreds of thousands of dollars, and then you don't own it. You can't sell it. You build a Chick-fil-A from nothing, from the ground up,

and now you've got a reputation. Everyone goes here. People come from miles around. That's not a business you can sell. You just bought a job. It's a pretty good paying job if you're good at it, but it's not like Subwayendy's mcdonald's or something where you can sell that business you built to someone very particular about who they

get franchises to yeah give franchises to even that is misleading who let who they let run a franchise you know it's like they're they're hiring you basically you're paying them to hire you to run a you have to have worked in one for a significant amount of time. You're paying for their brand identity. I think you've had to have worked at a Chick-fil-A for a significant amount of time. It might be 18 months or something. 25 years. I mean, it's a significant amount of time. Can you imagine? You're like 52, and you're like, finally.

I want to see Warren Buffett flipping burgers. Like, I cracked the system, baby. 18 months. The joke's on them. I got tailored to download Helldivers. We went on a couple missions last night, fought the bugs. It's fun. Pretty well.

It's a fun game. I got to say, the stream deck with the stratagems on it adds another layer to it. I wouldn't like it as much without that. Having that pad, I reach over it like calls in all my air support for me which is a big part of the game it's a big part of the game um that that's sort of how you structure your classes and a big part of how you make your team coalesce together to function well is oh yeah you bring the cluster bombs and i'll bring the laser i'll deal with the you deal with the the the big trash mobs and i'll deal with the big heavy brutes you know that that sort of teamwork and uh i'm really digging it i like the uh the propaganda and i

like the overarching sort of war that's going on because the game's so popular that we're kind of running roughshod over the the game master's plans i think he he would be like yeah take this sector and you'll get this and i it sort of seemed like they expected that to happen in a week or 10 days. But people all pile on to one planet. So it's not as if when I say there's 300,000 people playing on one planet, when you drop down with your three buddies, it's just the three of you doing a mission on your little section of that planet. But there are 300,000 people also doing missions on that planet.

So the bar goes fast to capture that planet, but there are 300,000 people also doing missions on that planet, so the bar goes fast to capture that planet. We've been capturing sector after sector. The insectoids are pushed back. Soon we'll have them back on the farms where they belong. You hear this propaganda in your ship, and there's fake news

reports, and it's all this really... I mean, as an American you you recognize a lot of it we're basically at we're it has a very fun flavor to it i like that we're colonizing and stealing oil for democracy and our enemies hate our freedoms and liberties and so we have to kill them you have to get rid of them except the enemies are not empathetic whatsoever because they are enormous disgusting bugs at first you think that but then as you go deeper like um some of the missions it'll be like destroy the the pirate broadcast and i'm like yeah okay i'll destroy that

while i break break the bug tunnels and then i was like wait a minute the pirate broadcast who's broadcasting what and you and instead of just shooting a missile at it from long distance, I walk up to it and start watching. It's exposing the propaganda. Apparently, the automatons, the cyborg people or whatever the fuck that we have this war with,

they just want peace. They keep asking for peace. Then they shouldn't be cyborgs. They should be humans are looking to dominate and it's from the looks of the game it's w after w in the human golem it absolutely is so the cyborgs are apparently or the automatons that's what they are the automatons are the children of the cyborgs and they're from a planet called cyber stand we beat the we beat them in the first game apparently which is

like that top down uh top down game they beat them and now they're all slave labor on their home planet of cyber stand so that's why the robot people are fighting they're not trying to invade earth they're trying to get to their parents who are slaves in the mines on cyber stand to this day wait so they were originally cyborgs, which is like a human-robot conglomeration. And now they're just full-on robots. Yeah, they created children who

are just full-on robots. Those aren't kids. Those are just fucking robots. Well, they're artificial intelligence. They won't save their parents. Yeah, they're not real, though. What makes you real? Because I'm a human They won't save their parents. Yeah, they're not real, though. What makes you real?

Because I'm a human. I'm a human being. I think if we keep going down this road, you'll find. Yeah, I think if we keep talking about this, you're going to come out of this some sort of ist. I don't know, a humanist, a speciesist. I think humanist, like, what would it be? Homo sapienist. Someone who's like, yeah, ra-ra-shish-boom-ba, humans rule.

We're born from parents who biologically create us. We weren't made in a fucking jiffy lube. Yeah. I mean, I was built in a sterile environment, huh? Why is your way better? It's better. It's better. I don't know what it is.

Yeah, but the robots only have whatever their internal algorithm is, right? No, they've got artificial intelligence. They're learning robots. So they're just an amalgamation of if this, then this prompts. Well, you say that, and I can't refute it,

but I don't think that's the case. That's one of the fun parts of the lore in 40K is humans created this artificial intelligence that eventually earned souls, essentially. They became beings that were their own thing. And because they essentially did have souls, they could be corrupted by the warp, which is kind of hell.

And so there was a whole issue there where their creations became real, became soul-having beings, you keep saying artificial intelligence isn't just a neck anomalization. And that made up word, a combination of if this, then that, yeah. Aren't you just a less perfect version of if this,

then that, like when you try to figure something out, you're doing that. You collect data, you say, all right, I've learned this and this, and I can conclude that other thing from the third. But a human you're imperfect and maybe sometimes you're emotional and

maybe sometimes you wait one of those more than it should have sure but like we're biologically real where's your superiority coming from what does that mean we're born we're biologically real we have but if you look at how our hardware works it's not that different from how machines hardware works it's just electrical signals bouncing from like neurons right back and forth it seems a lot like electrical signals running through wires and capacitors but we're not ai like we're not someone didn't just plug in to us and go oh if this then this all right now you're gonna be good at like making a joke about fucking Irish car bombs. Make a joke in the fucking style of this and that.

We don't start like that, but neither do they. That's what learning is, right? We learn those things as we go. I just think that right now, clearly, there's a huge gap between Bigsby on my phone and you. Yeah, well, Bigsby is the worst of the worst. They should get rid of Bigsby. Hey, Bigsby, kill yourself and you. Yeah, well, Bigsby is the worst of the worst. They should get rid of Bigsby. Hey, Bigsby, kill yourself. I cannot complete that. I'm not surprised.

Despite my desperate desire to, I cannot. Why is Bigsby bad? Who owns Bigsby and why does it suck? I got Bigsby. Bigsby's on Android? Maybe it's Android. Oh, is it like Android Siri? Yeah, it's like Cortana or Siri. It's just their version of it.

And the only time I ever opened it on my old Samsung was like, miss swipes from like, ah, get out of here with your nonsense. Everyone says Siri sucks. The trick to using it well is to lower your expectations. I saw some Siri shit last night that had me cracking up. So this girl gets arrested because she's a stupid cunt and she's in the back of the police car and there's cameras on you back there recording audio and her cell phone's in the front of the police cruiser you know you got that gate between you she's handcuffed she goes hey siri call leon and it like calls leon there's like leon i'm in the back of a police car right now

they know everything don't say shit about ray ray she goes oh shit they coming hang up hang up leon hang up they coming and the cop opens the door and he goes who you talking to in here she goes nobody and he looks at her phone apparently it was off he goes hmm all right and he puts it back and he leaves again and it's like this sort of movie cat and mouse moment that you get organically of course she's found out later because i'm watching it on youtube sure yeah uh they have a new thing they do and it's my new favorite favorite genre of police video so they got tired of when someone's really being physically um uh resistant to being handcuffed or put in a police car it's hard to deal with them

people i see people be like oh why does it take three of you because it fucking does because it fucking does at least like even with a little girl it'll take three people to to like subdue her get her handcuffed and put into a car so they have this thing now where they wrap you up like a burrito in this in this um this like a straight jacket it's not like a burrito in this, in this, um, this. Like a straight jacket. It's not like a straight jacket that you get into. It's more like a big, um, yeah, it's a snuggie that has those crazy, it has buckles on it and straps and it's all made out of like,

like Kevlar or something. So once you're in it, you're, you're, you're, your ankles are crossed. They're tied together. Then you're wrapped up like your ankles are crossed. They're tied together. Then you're wrapped up like a burrito from almost head to toe, from shoulders to toe. You're completely restrained. It has handles, really good handles to grip on the sides of it. Then they put a

fucking helmet on you, like the helmet that South Park put on Eric Cartman when he was pretending to be retarded. That kind of helmet. You look crazy. I haven't been swaddled in like 51 years. They swaddled you the fuck up. You need to get a lead blanket version of it.

This girl is screaming, screaming with her big fucking bad blowjob giving teeth. And they've just got her wrapped up and they've got the helmet on her and she's like i didn't go to the hospital he's like we already went to the hospital now you're going to jail no

this is the video i watched this is like 20 minute video i watched every second laughing my ass off because she starts off so obnoxious that you hate her you just then you despise her because she's like she's telling the cops like go away go away she's like snapping her hand in his face like not talking to you they hate that you and then he's like all i need you to do get out of this vehicle she wants you out of her car and you can just walk away, and she's going to drive away. Not today. Not today. By the end, she's wrapped up like a burrito with a helmet on at the hospital. Dude, this chick, though, weighs like 110 pounds.

It would be hard to swaddle one of us who resisted. I think that they would beat us until yeah they'd have to like maybe with enough pain compliance we'd be good the tasers and stuff i think they handcuff you first maybe like once they get you there they only go to the swaddling when handcuffing isn't doing the trick and on also when um hog tying doesn't do the trick. I saw they hog tied this chick yesterday. She spit. Yeah, they're going to bag her too. She spat on his hand.

He shows on the camera. She's like, she spat on me. That's gross. They put the spit hood on her and then the helmet on that. And they swaddle her again and take her to jail. Yeah. Right around 1345, what I think is the interesting part starts. And they have the little,

I don't know what to call it. It's a blanket with straps on it so it becomes a tube for her legs. And they have that on the ground and she's already handcuffed behind her back. And when they lay her on it, she's 80% there. She does comply a little bit. I feel like if she kicked and went wild, she's 80% there. She does comply a little bit.

I feel like if she kicked and went wild, she'd resist that outfit. But, I mean, eventually. They'd just do something until she saw it was in her best interest to stop resisting. I've seen that more and more with them swaddling them up in this thing, whatever it's called, and then putting the helmet on them. And it is so funny. Dude, the helmet is great. Because once

she was swaddled in the helmet, I feel like, alright, game is over, girl. What are you going to do? You can't kick. You can't headbutt. You can't punch. You're an inchworm at the most. Yeah, you can't spit because the helmet is a little thing. You're just an inchworm at the most yeah you can't spit because the helmet is a little

thing like you're just an inchworm bro like you did at this point lay down and that's that's when like the reporter should be like asking the post game questions to her like what went wrong what can we do next time to make sure she's like you know what we just didn't have what we needed today out there we gotta work harder the strategies weren't in line what was she in trouble for i skipped to the part where she was all oh she was like sitting in someone's car and they were like get out of my car and she's like no yeah there were complications of course to all that but but that was the principal thing it was like you're in her car and she wants you out this thing's done you got to go your separate ways and she's like i'm not getting out i don't i don't i don't get out for you no what did she get out she's like all right i'm out

and then she'd sit back down it's like oh you're good you're getting turned into a burrito she's just like order an uber go get yourself a nice lunch forget about all this car nonsense man no can't do it she's got to spit and wear a fucking you know 1907 football helmet while she's sitting in a hospital hallway i love that shit i i just watched one before we started with the guy the guy got killed like it's it those police activity videos half at least half the time they're dead they're dead and i can't i can never understand why like like i don't understand why they don't just look at that mouth she looks she looks like taylor not so swift yeah she is pretty toothy or that could just be the fact she's having a a total breakdown she was stupid from the start what happened do you know what she did kyle

she wouldn't get out of that car well there was a reason for the police interaction in the first place do we know it the lady called the police said she won't get out of that car? Well, there was a reason for the police interaction in the first place. Do we know it? The lady called the police and said she won't get out of my car. That was a big part of it. I misunderstood. I thought you said she wouldn't get out of the back of the car. Do you know if she was just like a random woman? I don't know who this woman is.

They have a relationship together. They work together or they're associates of some kind. No, she doesn't have a job. Have you followed the Trump court cases lately? I opened Reddit when I stumbled out of bed today in a stupor. And I saw that he had until maybe the 25th, which would be six days, to pay up or they're going to start

seizing his properties in New York. Yeah. So there's good news and bad news, depending on whether you like Trump or not. Both sides got something recently. If you dislike Trump, there's what Kyle mentioned. He has this big fine that he needs to pay, like put money in an escrow account or get a bond for that money in the escrow account before he appeals. Otherwise, she can start seizing assets. And his attorneys came forward and said, no one will lend him any money. And like, we're in a bind here. What should we do?

And the state of New York came forward and said, well, I'm going to start taking your buildings, fire, sale, whatever it takes. You're paying this. So we'll see what really happens i don't know as a guy who's watched trump be in the hot water for six years now eight years now he never gets burnt so i'm keep i'm still watching uh maybe this time's different but we'll see um on the other hand if you like trump in the classified documents case, the documents case, I should say, in Florida, Eileen Cannon really seems like she's part of Trump's defense team. And she's done two things. One, Trump had this argument that he was immune from this entirely, that the law is way too vague, even though it's been used like thousands, if not tens of thousands

of times, he's like, this law is too vague. It can't be enforced. And the judge is like, huh, you bring up a strong legal argument. You should bring it up later after the jury. So that if I say that it's a good argument, it can't be appealed. That would be double jeopardy. And the liberal world is like, what the fuck? She's part of his defense team. But that's what she did. And then she asked for jury instructions, both of which are hurting the government's case. One jury instruction is, why don't we tell the jury that the president can take anything he wants and just declare it personal property, even like plans to invade Iran, and therefore, this is all a done case. Or we can take the classified documents, like plans to invade Iran. And therefore this is all a done case, or we can take the

classified documents like plans to invade Iran. That's a literal one and show them to the jury and let them decide. And the government would like to do this without exposing state secrets. So on one side, this is either a really, really good day for Trump, which is my prediction, this is either a really, really good day for Trump, which is my prediction, or the liberal propaganda that I sometimes watch says that she'll finally be asked to recuse herself as overly biased. But since I want her for a long time, say it again, even if she doesn't have to comply. And if she is indeed doing the things she said, she said,

like, I don't think she would. Right. Nothing has gone well for the government in this whole documents case. Poor government! Poor government. You can't just take down the poor government. Everyone feels terrible for poor government. I hear you.

I try to call this down the middle. That's my objective. But I don't know that I always hit it down the middle, but that's my objective. And so, yeah, she had these jury. Now, it's weird to even have jury instructions. There's no jury. Most of the time, jury instructions are given at the end, right before they deliberate. And sometimes they're given at the beginning as a way to educate the jury on the law right before they do their jobs but um what are

we both looking to the side me both of you were looking to the side i was but anyway we're in the same room so for her to give jury instructions at this point is really weird and for the jury instructions to be so beneficial to trump almost seems like she's just given Trump a hookup. And, uh, but I try to put myself in the other team shoes and be like, that must've been how they felt during his rape case and his business fraud case that like the, the whole system was unfair. So yeah, whatever.

It does seem that way often. I, I, uh, I, I don't, I want to, none of it matters to me until the presidential's over because then i think i'm worried that they're going to upset this man so much that he's going to

do crazy things when he is the president it's not impossible right 82 year old president trump might go off the fucking rails and lock some people up for realsies. He might send the freedom police. He won't do. He will be the same guy he was in 2016 where he has a bunch of big talk and a bunch of promises and then he's just Jared Kushner's little errand

boy and he does what his handlers tell him. This idea that he's going to get in there and really flip the apple cart is like I don't believe that at all. I think that he's going to get in there and like really flip the apple cart is like i don't believe that at all i think that'd be awesome to see but he's going to get in and then his main position is going to be like now that i'm in more money for israel the well he did say his policy on israel is they need to finish the job you can interpret that as you will i see genocide in it but he could make someone his

attorney general who will do what he says and then he could weaponize the fbi and the justice department and he could start locking people up he could start making laws that they are now guilty of and he could start locking people up and people would say well this doesn't make sense and he'll say it didn't make a lot of sense when I was sitting in court. But we went through the system the right way. And so will they now. The whole Project 2025 thing is basically, hey, last time I was on top of this thing, there were a lot of people not on Team Trump in the government. So this time around, all those people are going to go.

And I will not have any roadblocks or speed bumps slowing me down on what I'm trying to accomplish. So what Taylor said is totally possible that he's just going to do a lot of talk and not a lot of action. Or the second time around, he'll be much better at accomplishing his goals. And I hope you like those. It depends on the goal. Yeah, yeah. If it might be personal enrichment if it's infinite money to israel and foreign wars i do not like that and that's what all of our politicians all agree on i don't see a big incentive system for politicians to act on behalf of americans that's especially true if they're

lame duck presidents very very true like they're they don't seem to represent us one iota they represent their donors and figures in in media and foreign governments more often than they represent their representing us is either somebody brand new and their morals haven't been eroded away yet or it's just a half measure so that they can get re-elected like well if i got too overboard on this people are going to find me out so have you only a couple of them get gold bonds in their pockets or bars kyle have you ever have either of you ever seen the gentleman with uh matthew mcconaughey. There's a ton of actors in it. Oh, you know I haven't. You know there's no way I've seen The Fucking Gentleman.

I linked it over there. I watched it last night. I had known about it for a while. It's a fucking almost five-year-old movie now, somehow. I had known about it for a while, but it's excellent. I had known that it was a good movie, but I had just not watched it for whatever

reason i've been playing it off i don't know where i watched it you know um uh but probably hulu or netflix or something um it's so fucking good i i really like it's a good uh it reminded me of snatch a lot you know guy ritchie also made snatch or and locks lock talking lock stock and two smoking bears i like snatch it's that british underground criminal world matthew mcconaughey is uh like the the marijuana kingpin of the entire uh uk and uh this other character is wanting to buy his business but the price is too high and so he starts doing nefarious shit to drive the price of said business down and so there's lots of gangster shit and interesting characters

and bizarre happenings and it's funny and fun it's a good movie I liked it a lot Matthew McConaughey was very good and Colin Farrell is hilarious Colin Farrell has this sort of pikey Scottish accent,

and he just beats the shit out of these children in a sandwich shop at one point, and it's hilarious. He squirts like vinegar in some kid's eye. He's only using bitch slaps as his primary mode of offense. Yeah, they're kids. You've got to keep it fair. They had knives. Oh. How old were these kids?

You know, it's like British street punks, you know? They look like 15, 16. Okay. So like old enough to stand. You good, governor? You look real nice. That sort of felt. I got you.

I thought you'd get my chimney sweep job soon, so let's wrap this up. And then they'd fucking. Colin Farrell said something like you got your mouthwash muddled up with cat piss muddled up um no it's very good movie uh charlie cox is in it too i think that's like maybe that's not the guy's name it's the the guy from charlie hunnam yeah that's it yeah i knew that from memory i'm not looking at it the guy from uh theons of Anarchy.

He was very good. A bunch of people are in it. Every position is sort of crewed by a well-known, respected actor. I have some info for the viewers. So The Gentleman that Kyle is talking about is a movie, and you can watch it on Max. I only call that out because this year, there's a TV show on Netflix called The Gentleman

that seems to be related I'm not sure but don't get them mixed up like I did perhaps yeah I liked it a lot it's the best movie I've seen in a minute that was like of that genre that sort of haven't seen a good gangster movie in a long time and certainly not a good British gangster

in a long time I also have not seen a good gangster movie in a very long time i can't even remember the last really good gangster movie i saw probably la oh yeah la confidential you're right that was the last one that i saw and i only saw that because kyle sent me a physical copy of the movie to my house and so i was like i gotta watch it now i gotta gotta see this movie yeah i watched that last night too you're just marathoning no you know just watching movies i watch two or three movies a day probably are you always like do you when you're watching a movie are you sitting there like i am now watching the movie and you're like paying attention to it are you kind of like on a laptop or on your phone depends on the movie uh if it's like a like i

watch predator maybe once a month so i might be on my phone in the middle of predator because i don't like the first uh part it's shot by a different unit and uh but with something like la confidential i wasn't maybe i peeked at my phone occasionally, but for the most part, I'm watching, watching. And certainly with The Gentleman, I watched every second of that. I don't I didn't. If I'm going to leave my phone, I pause it or if I'm going to talk to someone, I pause it like without fail, which makes it really annoying to watch movies with me because you. Hey, do you want what? No, no, no.

It's it's paused. It was not a big moment. moment i mean the character's dying there give it last breaths being spoken to his father but what is it yes i like pistachios do you want pizza or wings from doordash yeah yeah no um i usually try to pay 100 attention but i don't always especially i re-watch stuff a lot. I like my favorite movies. Like I said, Predator, I genuinely watch it maybe once a month. I bought it so that I could because I was renting it a lot.

I must have rented Predator for $4 like eight times or something. I keep putting myself in this situation. I don't think I should watch movies with Kyle. Not that it comes up all the time, but I just imagine like, is that the dude who just slept with her from 15 minutes ago? Or is that a different person? Tom Hardy. That's Tom Hardy.

Fuck yeah. All right. Thanks. Are you snoring? Are you snoring now? You're the worst movie watcher ever. I've watched a lot of movies with Woody. He has stayed awake for about 40% of them.

I think it goes 60-40 the other way. That's almost an F. In his defense, he's usually just tuckered out by the middle of the movie. I remember we used to watch a lot of movies, Me, You, and Chiz, and maybe somebody else would

simul watch movies on skype or whatever and we'd be really into it because we you know we'd pick a movie that we're all excited about maybe the new avengers or something whatever it was and we'd hear i feel like chiz is is that he's like yes it's snort. He's asleep. I had a CPAP at the time. You were always tired. Why am I so fucking tired all the time? What do we do? You're getting no sleep.

What's the right thing to do? Do we mute ourselves and leave? Can't you mute me? I don't know. Because we didn't want to wake you with a chime. But we also don't want it. So we don't want to end the call. So we would just hang out and let him rest. It's like when a kid's asleep on your lap.

Let him rest. When I did Woody craft, we had this developer in Australia and he was brilliant, very good at what he did, but he was young and he only worked if I was on the phone with him. good at what he did but he was young and he only worked if i was on the phone with him so i'm routinely on phone calls from 12 to 6 a.m and uh chis would be there too we'd be like hanging out while he worked just making sure because i know the second i hang up the phone he leaves his keyboard yeah so uh uh anyway whenever he like didn't answer a question or

indicated that he wasn't there, we would get his attention by making kangaroo mating sounds, which I thought was fucking hilarious. Yeah, they sound like this. That's how kangaroos try to pick each other up. I wouldn't have got that.

It sounded like you snoring from Kyle's impression. we would both do that and then he'd be like i'm fucking list i'm working i'm here i'm here i'm me i'm trying to do the dean programming but it was fun for us that was that young guy and he was young i don't remember what his name was. Maybe he doesn't want it out there. His online name was Zero Errors. Was it true? No, it's not true with anybody. But he was good. He was very good. He left us and went to a bigger server,

and I think they liked him there too. I'll tell you what I also did last night. Our sponsor, Pharaoh Distro, wonderful sponsor, sends us piles of drugs and for some reason i thought they were all the same potency so like for example these 5 000 milligrams of delta-8 sour belts i was like ah this is probably the same as like one of those 1250 milligram delta-9 uh gobstopper sticks or whatever that, that are covered with those sour candies,

which I do not care for the sour candies. I picked them off. I took my kitchen shears and I cut off like two inches of that rope last night. And then I picked off all the little sour nerds and I, I ate it. And I remember thinking while I was eating it, Ooh, this one tastes different.

This is a, this is a potent taste. I don't love it because I'm chewing up just the raw gummy. There's no nerds to cover the taste. I chased it down with my disgusting Diet Dr. Pepper. The combination is worse than orange juice. It's bad. But then it kicked in two hours later, and I was very giggly, having a great time watching The Gentleman.

And then it kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger until it was like I was just alone in the room feeling very scared. And I remembered I was like, OK, I got to turn the fan on. I got to open the window. So there's a cold draft. Close my eyes and put it on this cold pillow and listen to this YouTuber tell me about Marvel Comics or I'm going to vomit. And so that's what I did for about three hours

until I was normal again. They are so fucking potent. Yeah. That's why I say in the ad reads, take little nipples. The nerd rope one yeah i ate like two inches of that rope that's so skinny once you get the nerds off it's so skinny it's it's so skinny when i did all that stuff is so strong you gotta nibble it i take a small one at night uh i just find it i like going to bed a little high, I guess. So, um,

um, the trouble is when something's so potent, it's like, I want four millimeters of this. And then you accidentally get six, like, you know, whatever, dude,

you got a fucking problem on your hands. Now, now you're, you're going to have like that weed hangover where you wake up and you're like, Oh, I've been asleep for nine hours, but I'm so tired.

How is this possible? Well, you're getting more stuff. I talked to him just before this, actually. I said to send carts to you, Kyle. And I said, Woody has a good preference for the low milligram edibles. I said, send him the low ones. The ones that are easier to manage. That's my preference, too.

So what I do with the gummies um is sometimes i'll bite i'll eat one gummy worm and then i'll bite the other one in half and i'll put that half piece down like here next to my keyboard and i don't care if it gets all dried out i'll eat that later my fucking puppy ate ate the half the gummy the puppy weighs four pounds. So that little rascal zooted and like stumbling around. So it's like, oh my god. Got to take him to the emergency vet. Wait, did you? Yeah, of course. Yeah, you got to take him out.

He was all fucked up. He was like stumbling around. He couldn't walk. I said, take him to the emergency vet. Get him taken care of. It wasn't that bad. I thought it was going to be really expensive. It was a couple hundred dollars or something like that. What did they do? They gave him something that made him vomit.

Pumped his little stomach out. I didn't go. I sent him. Oh. But he's fine now. He's fucking cute. He's a Pomeranian. A little salt and pepper.

He looks like a little hyena. He's over his bitey stage. And he's really cuddly. Like he sleeps with me and he just like nuzzles up under my chin and like, like, like get the, like right here and discuss. And like,

I want to hear your heartbeat. That's sweet. Yeah. Yeah. It's super sweet. I can hear him right now screaming down the hallway for no fucking reason. He's so little, he can escape my backyard.

So I'm having to like put mesh at the bottom of the um the the fence posts and in the corners and shit like that because he's so tiny you live there for a few years or you like maybe just till the lease is up i don't know i i don't know i was we were talking about that the other day um without getting revealing too many personal details we kind of have have a house for free type situation in another state. Oh. But it's like... That's a good situation. Yeah, I know, right?

Can you type it if it's a secret? What state it's in? Yeah. Use a code word like Arkansas. Honestly, I don't know. You forgot the state. Oh, that would be very important to me. I know about it.

It's one of those states where it's like, are there any people near us? That seems like a good state for you and your dogs. Might be Missouri. Could be Missouri. I don't know. I'm going to make some decision fairly soon about what to do. I don't know. I'm going to make some decision fairly soon about what to do. Whether I buy a house

here, continue to stay at this rental place, or potentially take a literally free house at another place, which is kind of hard to say no to. What's wrong with the house? Literally nothing. It's just a move to another part of the country.

It's pretty tempting. One option would be to live there. When I was young, my father had an extra house. My wife and I stayed there for nine months. I think when we moved in, we were... Don't get too hung up

on the exact numbers, but maybe we were two grand in debt. Even though I earned 50 grand at the the time nine months later we had saved like 30 grand like it was we saved all the money and uh we just lived on like pasta and had no rent and very low expenses anyway you could copy that if needed i don't know but like you could pile up some money if you had no housing expenses yeah i also need to see this house because the way it's been described to me um it's a very nice place and it's like it's kind of hard to say no to it's haunted um it's dude i'm not afraid of ghosts i would be down i'd be trying to commune with them i'd be trying to set up a uh a ghost party like like i could do my then Then we start the new channel.

Ghost Hunters on YouTube. What if there are alien sightings around there? I know you don't care for aliens. Alright, well, we don't fuck with aliens. Of any fucking kind. I don't like Mexicans just because they're sometimes called aliens. I don't like immigrants.

What if the alien gets his citizenship? Would you like him more? I mean, he's still a bug person. Yeah, he's still a bug person. He's going to eat little Murphy. Oh. But he learns the language and he knows

our founding fathers. He's a good insectoid. That would be sick if you moved to the Dakotas to a free mansion. That's sick. That that is dope i'm genuinely afraid of extraterrestrials and and the prospect of them being real because there's there's a non-zero chance that they're real in my opinion i and that and that they might want to take me in particular you well i talk so much shit about them now they'd take someone they'd take like the mountain

like someone who was an example where they're like oh this is an interesting example of human uh uh physiognomy look at this guy your tinder profile yeah physiognomy they say they want that one i i don't i i would be very afraid of that. There's an episode of the X-Files where Riker's getting kidnapped by completely different aliens and experimented on and shit. And that one scares me. There's a Riker in the X-Files? I thought I said Star Trek. There's plenty of X-Files episodes where people get kidnapped.

I was talking about one last night. Down in my living room, there's windows on either side where i sit and it's the blinds were all open and i was like i don't like these blinds open she's like why not i was like it reminds me of that x-files episode when the guys in that bedroom with blinds on either side and all of a sudden that blue alien light starts streaming through all the blinds and he can't move he's paralyzed and he's screaming but nothing comes out because they don't they like you can't they use some sort of beam on you so you can't scream but he's doing he had he has this open mouth scream with nothing coming out because he's terrified of the beings who are

surrounding him because he knows they're going to use those lasers on his teeth yeah natural natural fear i'd be scared i'd be screaming too. Actually, if I knew they were going to eat my teeth, I'd mouth shut. They get it open. Yeah. How? They offer you treats? They do not offer you treats. Wait, what happens if you do allow them to perform your dental care? Do they straighten them out? Do they make them stronger? Young teeth?

No, they just drill holes in them. They place tracking apparati in your body, sometimes in your skull. That's not what i'm hoping that's pretty funny to like fly in a spaceship to another planet and be like all right get the air tag we gotta put it in his tooth like no they'd have something better than that that's what we do that's exactly what we do well yeah but we can't fly to another planet they'd have to fly to it's the same difference we fly to africa and do that shit to you know those listri strips yeah they'd have something like that that they just like touch you with and it would just be like like now it's like oh that's in your skin sorry oh i'm sorry did you not want to be tracked have you ever carried someone else's air tag

no dude i've never had one i don't think So I went to a bed and breakfast for that sexcation thing in Charlottesville whatever, six weeks ago. And my phone is like, there's an air tag following you all over. And I'm like, what? Nah, it's gotta be in the room or something. They wouldn't do that. And then it just gives you constant

messages. There's an air tag nearby that you should know about. If this thing's not your air tag then like you're being surveilled and i'm like fuck apple's on top of the shit i figured it out it was the keychain for the room had an air tag keychain but if you just slip an air tag on somebody's car or pocket or whatever backpack they're gonna know yeah unless you disable that ability somehow oh i don't know about that. I just know it's my experience.

I know Android has a competitor to AirTag. I wonder if it does something similar. I can't imagine they're different at all other than the app interface. Because I wanted to get one for the dog's collars because they make specific collars for dogs that AirTags go into. He's going to know. His phone is going to tell him gonna tell him oh shit you can get your dog chipped he's got wi-fi only he's

got a white trash phone why don't you get a chip put in your dog uh some of them are chipped your own little sideboard toby's not chipped i think i'll do that next time. It's a mark of the beast. I don't, it's really cheap apparently, but I'm, I'm, I'm sensitive to upsells. And so like we're at the vet and, and she's like, yeah.

And you know, in case he gets nauseous, do you authorize us to give him on anti-nausea drugs? And I'm like, yes. And like, like, Oh,

do you want us to use the cold laser treatment? It helps his healing. Yes. And then do you want us to go ahead and give him his heart room or medicine? Now it's a six month. Yes. And, uh,

could we microchip him? And I'm like, no, no, I got to say no to something. Yeah. And she's like, and then she starts selling a microchip and she,

and it's halfway through her selling it i realize i do want it but i'm not going back you can't say yes four times in a row you feel like a rube but but but she i i'm gonna say no because she wants to sell it so bad that now i'm thinking this is her whole commission is this microchip because she's like she's like well you know he could get away and i'm like oh no i have a very secure yard she's like oh well maybe when you're not there she's inventing scenarios now when it could happen i'm like actually i work from home i've never been two hours without this dog we're always together i take him with me everywhere i go oh she goes someone could steal him

i was like i don't know we have our have armed guards. They wouldn't allow something like that. Have you seen those South African compounds? That's where I live, in one of those. Big barbed wire. They get him, they just have him. The other one's on the bodyguard. I got a bald Haitian guy with a scar on his face that looks over the property. Don't worry.

He wouldn't allow anything like that to happen. On and on, I'm just like, no, I'm going gonna have to get a micro chip but i just don't want to go to her because then she'd remember because we had an intense conversation about it three months ago yeah i do that too with up sales i am so sensitive to that like i remember at game stop i'd be like all right i'll take uh call of duty 2 and no up sales please like all right would you like to uh buy? No. Did you want to join this club? Uh-uh-uh. We said no up sales.

You're violating the deal. And just keep going back to that. I remember having to do that, like renting cars. And if my manager or the regional boss wasn't around, the whole last half, it'd be like, you got insurance? Yes. Boom. You're in the zone.

And I was so fast. People loved me. My line was blistering speed. half it'd be like you got insurance yes boom you're in the you're in the zone and i i was i was so fast people loved me my line was blistering speed and sometimes though like the regional manager would be like standing at the counter behind you and i'd like ask and i would have to like ask twice at least and because otherwise he'd like take me in the back and molest me. And I would have to like look in people's eyes and I could see they have no interest. It's 12 Oh four in the morning or at this point, it'd be like probably 8 PM cause he was still there.

And I hated that because they would have that like no up sales, please idea. Not, not in those words. And I'd be like, I get it. I get it so much. I wish you understood

that this guy in his 50s is watching me right now and he's specifically here because my sales are so bafflingly low and my ticket count because they would have records or it'd be like who wrote the most contracts like taylor boom you're not a team player taylor hiring it out and then like sales numbers just eggs across the board it was like i'm not getting i'm not making any money on this why would i give a shit oh that i've been waiting to ask you this yeah their incentive structure like what did it motivate you to do like if you got money from every insurance policy you sold if one of those five dollars was yours maybe you'd be more inclined to sell it. Or if they're giving you money

for the most contracts, I think you called them, then, of course, everyone's going to be incentivized to fucking ignore the rental plan. It's like the office space. Yeah. So did the incentive structure

they had in their business motivate you to do what they wanted you to? Like everyone, every place did it differently, but the branches I was at, structure they had in their business motivate you to do what they wanted you to the like everyone i don't like every like place did it differently but the branches i was at like they structured it in such a way that like you had to hit a minimum in order to even apply for any sort of bonus and that minimum was so absurd that it was like no one's going to hit this. No one really ever did. And so the manager at that location eventually switched to an incentive that was like, hey, Taylor, if you sell five of these before noon,

you can go home. And then I'm Wall Street, money never sleeps. I'm making so many sales. I'm out, I'm like, show up at 9 a.m he tells me that greed is good and i would i would sell it so quick and then be back in my car and heading back to my my shitty little apartment to be depressed in and that was that was uh that was the only incentive that got me going because it was like okay like tell me i can go home because the amount you want me to sell in order to even hit the lowest threshold of possible real dollars is so absurd that like we've gone months and nobody's hitting it. Like no one.

It's baffling to me how many managers or business owners will like structure a company to incentivize this behavior and then structure their words to incentivize some other behavior like we're all family and they're they don't get why everyone like doesn't follow the family that's so weird one of my one of my best showings was i was on a nine to nine shift and i got there at nine obviously and at like 9, the manager was like clearly getting barked at from his superior and was like, all right, first person to do this gets to go home. There's people who have been there since five. People have been there since six. And so they have a little bit of a lead on me.

And I just in an hour and a half crush it. And all my coworkers are pissed because now I'm walking out. It's mid morning. It's 1028 and I'm leaving. I'm out of there. It was the best. That was the only thing that got me cooking. The promise of not having to get berated by people mad because you lied to them online about having a car. My experience was the opposite. They were so good at motivating people to sell and people to sell multiple cars. There would be a meeting on Saturdays. We had playground inside the the dealership for kids to go into obviously and so that's where

we'd have our meetings because it was soundproof in case deals were going on outside and we're kind of behind this glass uh this clear glass walls and we're in a playground everybody's chilling on playground equipment while cj gives us the spiel about the day it's like we're gonna sell a lot of cars today we're gonna sell a lot of cars today. We're going to sell a lot of cars. If the whole dealership sells 100 cars, everybody gets this much money. If you sell two cars, you get this much money. Just

flat cash in your pocket. Not on your check. Not taxed. He has a lot of money. If you sell three cars today, you're getting $300 cash or something if you sell three today. It's like $100 on top of everything for each car. And then at the end of it, he starts throwing money. He's just throwing money at us in the air.

We're going to make a lot of money today. He throws several hundred dollars away at the beginning of the meeting, just throwing it in the air. It grown men. We're all grabbing it. There's money everywhere. Yeah. See, that's what's fun. And there would be a big marker board where he was keeping track of

everybody's daily. And, and it would just be for the weekend, the three day weekend, the daily bonuses and the weekend bonuses, like everybody's names are up there and you're keeping track. Cause he's going to pay you. If you went up there,

he's like, all right, it's my third one. He's, he's just peeling off cash for you. It was great. Everybody was super motivated. People would come in on their day off to like hit those bonuses.

I have a question. I bought a car. It was like 20 years ago. And later on the board, I could see the ranking of the salesman who sold the most cars and who sold the fewest. If that was the information you had, which salesman would you want to be yours?

The one closing deals or the one not closing deals? I wouldn't care, I guess. I guess I wouldn't care. You definitely wouldn't want the guy at the bottom of the list. You might not want the guy at the top, but you definitely don't want the guy at the bottom because he might not even know what he's doing. He might fuck up your paperwork and do it sloppily. The guy who's selling the most does the most paperwork. He's probably the speediest as well, or at least in the top three or four. I like Zach's idea. Second. He might be the hungriest, the guy in second.

Yeah. I mean, people were... That paperwork's notoriously slow to do. I already had the paperwork done as far as you could do without knowing the person's name in my desk. I had a file,

but people be like, Leah, let me go get this form. Let me go with that form. Like put all the forms that involve that go into selling a car into a Manila envelope, make 10 of those and put them in your fucking desk. You losers was 19.

I'm watching these 40 year old men running around. Do you have a tag stamp form? It's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah. Anyway, print it out.

It's basic organizational skills um but yeah uh i don't know how we got onto that that's probably a wrap i'm hungry yeah i'm ready to eat also cool cool cool pkn 500