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pkn512 how you guys doing pretty good doing good what's new with you guys what'd you do over your
weekends i don't think i did anything but i watched a i watched the the end of a show called
renfair on hbo it's uh they kind of sell themselves as like a tiger king type documentary
about this guy named king george king george is a hundred millionaire self-made in Texas who is the biggest
Ren Faire owner in the world.
He runs the biggest Ren Faire there is there in Texas.
He's been doing it for 43 years, I think.
This is Renaissance Faire where people cosplay.
Yeah, yeah.
They're more fun than you'd think.
Oh, yeah.
I like him too
he's got like 875 acres this place is gigantic and he rules over it like an absolute despot
he is a piece of shit he's 85 years old and he's he's wanting to retire which means you know want
to sell the place and and he is piece of shit a role he plays or the genuine that you don't you
think he's a bad guy i know he's a bad guy okay okay like you watch the documentary don't imagine
him dressed up as a king doing mean things dressed as a king imagine him behind it you know no no
this man's an awful human being um he is just so cruel and awful to these people. And the people who work for him really depend on him. He's the breadwinner for all these people. And he's so demanding and so crushing to his general managers and managers and people right below him. It's hard to watch. They're under his boot heel when they come to a meeting at his house his house
is the most gaudy he he used a word for it that i wasn't familiar with it's it's it means overly
deck uh decorated it's a court tool art or something okay everything every space in his
homes vehicles everything is overly gaudy and decorated. Gold everything.
His car is an Escalade with a gold grill, gold wheels.
He has a driver rolling him around.
He doesn't care about maintaining the period stuff when he's doing his own life.
But when he goes to the Ren Faire fair he goes to the first checkpoint he's like
oh yeah give me the map and everything and he's like bobby this girl over here don't have a hat
on and then it cuts to him he's like in medieval times everyone had to wear a hat everyone wore
hats you had to and they're like all right we'll get a hat on okay this part sounds good like this
guy cares about the experience of the consumer at his rent fair.
So I like to think he would like shut someone down.
Like I told you,
I saw some,
some shit head.
He didn't work there,
but some guys walking around a rent fair in a,
like a storm trooper outfit instead of like,
I hope a guy like this would be like,
Hey,
you're ruining the immersion.
So immersion tax or,
or whatever he would do, kick him out.
Oh, there's clearly tons and tons of rules about how these people dress and behave.
And one of his general managers has this acting art degree that he couldn't do anything with until he met George 20 years ago.
And he's so obsessed with it.
He's sort of training the actors.
And he's put his wife in the position of training
the actors and getting them going and she's the king is like nepotism you can't have nepotism
and that's what we got here and then it cuts back to the journal manager and he's like
somebody taught george the word nepotism
king george rules like he's got a gold escalade he's going around telling people
yeah king george lets the cameraman know in the first episode he's like i'm retired i'm 84 years
old i'm gonna live to 95 we got it all planned out and uh all i want to do now is chase pussy
and have a good time all right king george got what's a king without his kingdom free he
says that in the first episode you're like okay and then like second or maybe the third episode
i think it's the second real quick did any of this guy's money come from renfair management
or this is all of his career no no no no you have to understand he read walt disney's book
when it came out okay okay he read walt disney's book when w came out. He read Walt Disney's book when Walt Disney published it.
Took it to heart.
And he was like, all right, I need a township.
You can't live under somebody else's city hall.
I'm city hall.
He bought 1,000 acres of Texas, got it incorporated.
He is the mayor.
He is the fucking city hall.
He's everything.
He pays taxes for himself. Whoever he wants, he runs that shit with an iron fist.
And so he's got this one guy. He's got people for everything.
They have these little jobs that you normally wouldn't have.
One of his guys jobs is clearly pussy hound.
He's like, this is my pussy hound, Mark. How many sacks you got me on now, Mark?
15, sir. 15 sacks. That's pretty good pretty good mark got any dates this week yes sir yes sir
you just let me know which days i'll get back to you mark and sure enough he only he does the same
thing olive garden so so so he sets up these dates the local olive garden and these ladies
come at one point he's like i'm looking for a companion somebody that's i think he said maybe 30 or 40 to 50 or 60 like somewhere in there which
seemed a little young for an age pretty wide range he's he's shooting for 20 20 to 30 year range
also bear in mind i don't think he went from 30 to 60 yeah yeah pretty much keep in mind he is
very unattractive um he is kind of gross looking, if I'm being honest.
One of his eyes looks way off to the other way for no reason.
And he wears what must be custom clothing
because he's wearing several medallions and medals on his left breast
that are just printed into these custom.
No, no, they're printed.
They're embroidered medals.
And his pants have those double stripes down the side
like he's in the Marines or something,
like a dress uniform.
He gets to this first...
Yeah, that's the cover art.
Is that his imagining of himself?
At no point does he wear this outfit, though.
I'm going to warn you.
I don't think I ever saw him with a crown on at all.
He doesn't take the king shit and the role play shit seriously.
That's what he looks like on the day-to-day.
He could be worse.
I never saw.
That's his best angle, too.
I'm going to let you know.
For 85?
He's got his bad eye.
Yeah.
Yeah, they really did.
They've got his angle so that you can see our left bad eye is wanting to go wonky and head off somewhere.
His face is acing it. Yeah, there you go. There you there you go i like the metal can you go back to the previous picture
you almost don't look for it but like his cheeks don't match the each sides of his mouth don't
match at least in that pic in the previous one this one he's looking to the side you can't he
was insulting someone in that picture. He was deriding
one of his employees or something.
He gets on this date and this girl is
24.
It's not in his window.
I bet his
hypocrite. Unforgivable.
That's the thing. His whoremonger
might have gotten reprimanded.
He genuinely did.
This 24 year old, she very cute but she's she's
got like facial piercings and she has flown herself in from san francisco and they go to sit
down he's like no no sit on my side of the booth and then he like locks her into the booth you know
like he doesn't want to sit across he we're gonna sit on the same side of the table and then he
slides in after and kind of locks her and he he's got a gotter in the corner.
And I'm going to say it was the second question.
Are those boobs real?
Are those boobs real?
And she's like, yeah, they're real.
They're good because I touch plastic.
I can't do it.
What's wrong with this?
He's getting the nonsense out of the way.
He's talking about, I'm just looking for somebody to have a good time
and just fuck each other's brains out, and I'll make you come hard,
and you'll just be like, ooh-wee, oh, my.
And it's so awkward.
And I thought it was until his second date.
Oh, my God.
The second date shows up later on, a different episode maybe even,
and she's 30, I think.
He had already said, like, 24?
We don't need a 24-year-old. She she don't know nothing she don't know nothing about nothing and i'm with him but for a different
reason i don't want to interrupt your story too much he gets to this 30 year old and she's got
an accent she's kind of rough looking and he's like those boobs real and she's just i had the
implant uh two years ago and he's just like we're done he doesn't have time he literally doesn't have time for that
and i'm okay with that like he's got 11 years left on his docket all already lined up all right
you box some breadsticks up because i'm getting the fuck out of here
what do you lead with over unlimited breadsticks ohsticks? Soup salad and breadsticks is a good deal,
but he just ended that date immediately
when he found out she had fake titties.
He has this thing of touching plastic.
When are you going to tell me why I should dislike this guy?
I mean, it's three episodes.
I'm hitting the high points.
There's some low points where you focus on his general manager
who's just a fruitcake and a loser,
and he's just like whatever george wants
that's what i do all i do is serve king george and what does he do just spits in my face just
treat and he's just always teary-eyed and just kind of a bitch about it and george is cruel to
him and the whole thing is the popcorn man wants to buy the place. And don't think like, oh, the popcorn man, huh?
Like the kettle corn king wants to buy the place.
Imagine that.
Like this guy has been selling popcorn for $5
for a quarter of a penny cost for decades
at this hugely successful Ren Faire.
They have like 25,000 people there a weekend
and they do it all summer and
spring. It brings in millions and millions. I think George nets like 7 million a year
for himself and he's worth 100 million and he's willing to sell it, but he wants 60 million
and he wants these payments of like seven a year. He's like, I don't want to make less money.
Why would I retire if I was going to make less money? Because you don't work for it.
Because you don't work for it anymore, George.
You won't be paying any taxes.
There's no more overhead for you.
No more management for you.
You'll literally be free.
You can walk away.
I want my $7 million a year.
You make it say that.
He's like that with his contracts.
He's like, you guys are fools.
You and your lawyers, all of this.
What is this I'm looking at?
Make it say what I want it to say.
He'll just walk away from these $50 million deals left and right.
That trade is probably part of why he's worth a quarter billion dollars in the Ren Faire biz.
Maybe.
He's just ruthless and relentless with this money thing.
And the poor guy that's trying to buy it, he's got his whole family leveraged.
Everybody's putting up everything they have.
And they're well-to-do people, but we're talking about $60 million we need collateral for.
And they have it.
They have collateral for a $60 million loan.
And he's still just like, I don't like these numbers.
I don't know about this and that.
He's such a scum.
What else does he get really in the nitty-gritty about as far as the realism
in his fare i want to know oh just well you don't really see him and he rides around a couple times
on like a um a stage coach or whatever a carriage and is sort of like looking and but everything's
done well because he's so awful and he has decent management. So they're afraid of having a mistake.
They're correcting people left and right.
There's an inspection ceremony that one of his managers does where he's trying to make the guards laugh like they're those royal guards in England.
He's trying to make these people slip up.
He's like, I'm going to check gonna check your bearing your costume your manner like like
and all these intangibles right like he's like i'm gonna check you make sure you're gonna fucking
fit in bitch and these people are clearly homeless some of them but they work at a ren fair
yeah it's a seasonal ren fair so it's one step away from carnie's uh but that's... I don't know if I liked it or not.
There's only three episodes.
They're about 45 minutes or an hour each.
So it's not that huge of a commitment.
As a Ren Faire enjoyer,
I bet as you were watching those bits,
you were like,
this looks like the best Ren Faire imaginable.
If it's being ruled over by an Iron Fist.
This guy doesn't run out of turkey legs.
The one I went to last year ran out of turkey legs.
And I almost started a presence revolt.
Well, I was wearing, I was dressed
in normal attire like most people.
They should charge more for that.
They should be like, hey,
to get in, $250 or
$100 if you're dressed well.
I'd actually be okay with that.
It would incentivize me to have a little fun
with it and dress up like something. Obviously, I'd bring my shield. I'd have be okay with that. It would incentivize me to have a little fun with it and dress up like something, obviously.
I'd bring my shield.
I'd have a sword going.
I wouldn't, but I would never dress up out of flavor.
It doesn't have to be amazing, right?
Like more than a t-shirt that says,
this is my Ren Faire costume.
But like, you know,
if you have a sword and a shield to me, check.
Yeah, if you got like a Frodo bag.
Pantaloons.
I need to get Robin Hood moccasins on.
You better have some pantaloons on.
I might low-key you let you in free.
Yeah.
I could see that, but no.
Again, it's 25,000 people a weekend.
That's a lot of people at this thing.
That is a lot.
That's a huge run there.
I wonder what Disney World has.
I don't know. And you've got to
keep, this does not look like Disney World.
This is like out in Texas
somewhere. I want to go
now though, just to see,
because I kind of want to like,
not meet, but just see
some of those characters that were in the show.
Just kind of look at them out of the corner of my eye and be like, yeah, that's that
weirdo that chugs Red Bull continuously.
That's the popcorn man. Oh, and the other thing, so he has, I don't remember what he
called it, maybe a temple. He has a temple on his property that he's built that he takes very
seriously. And he has his deities in there. He has three deities that he goes and converses with and prays to i suppose
and i was like let's see this and i'm like oh my god this is beautiful you go inside
and it reminds me of the sistine chapel if michelangelo was it michelangelo no that's
yeah michelangelo the sistine chapel i thought so leonardo da vinci i thought i thought it was
i think it's michelangeloelo. If Michelangelo had zero
taste, that's what it would look like.
Because it's beautiful, but it's like, God,
too many cherubs.
If Michelangelo was like an Iranian
guy. Yes.
Yes.
Exactly that. It's so
gaudy and overly done.
I think he's got like a Buddha,
maybe the Virgin Mary, and then some other shit and he's in there like mentally conversing with them and and like
having like this it was bizarre is this part of the the show or this is just no no you understand
he does not take part in the show to any degree whatsoever his life is this other thing he doesn't
care about being a king you don't have to call him
a king or bow to him he's a businessman who owns a business okay like like like he don't care about
that shit obviously he wants it run well if he went there and then somebody was wearing fucking
boot like modern boots he'd have a cow but like he's not role-playing himself yeah did you get a
vibe for how much he was playing it up for the
camera? Could you tell that at all?
Yeah, he's too old to do that
or even understand media like that.
When they're
trying to explain stuff to him, they're like, yeah, we're gonna
send an email blast
to all of our vendors. What now?
What?
An e-blast? Is that what it is?
That's exactly what it is, George. An e-blast. Alright, well, I want to see it on a piece of paper. Show me the e-blast? Is that what it is? That's exactly what it is, George.
An e-blast.
All right, well, I want to see it on a piece of paper.
Show me the e-blast.
Well, you know, it's just the standard.
Show me an e-blast.
And I know what he wants because I've dealt with old people.
It's like, dude.
Show the guy a flow chart and move past it.
Not even that.
Copy-paste the email that you send out to your vendors and put it on a page.
And then at the top, write e-blast 2024. He's going to love it. that copy paste the email that you send out to your vendors and and put it on a page and then
at the top right e-blast 2024 he's gonna love it if you put some stars at the top and a kingly crown
in the middle i feel like pal could thrive under this guy and he'd hate everybody he'd hate everybody
it depends what your job is he seemed to love his mexican driver him even that guy would converge
he's like he's like talking to the mex Mexican driver about how he's cracking down his general manager.
He's like, the nepotism shit and stuff like that.
And then you go and spend some time with the general manager and his wife.
His wife hates George.
She hates him.
She seems like everybody does.
And so the husband will be defending George to the wife.
And it's kind of pathetic because because george like sends them to
germany to look at some renaissance festival they've got over there and get some ideas
and so he's over there and telling the wife's like let's go back to the hotel and get some sleep
he's like we've got to stay and watch the light show george provided for us he made all of this
happen for us we've got to honor that and it's just so we're on camera right now and he's probably going
to watch this that's true too you idiot how do you think our crazy 85 year old king boss is going to
respond when he hears he sees the clip of us taking it easy oh we thought we'd just go by uh
oktoberfest on the last day we didn't think think you'd mind. That's the wrong era.
Yeah, I liked it, but
I was kind of mad that it was over.
I was like, ah, that's it? There's not more?
It just kind of ends
in the third episode, and I wasn't ready for that
because I thought it was going to be a longer thing.
There's only three episodes?
Yeah. They filmed over the course of three years,
they said.
I like that
Taylor's going to go. Dude, I'll go to
Ren Faire. It would be so much fun.
It's a 19-hour drive. Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. Just, you know,
wake up in the
morning. I'm there by midnight the next
day.
I don't mind those drives.
I know it's always memed up on
Reddit about how the Europeans don't understand either the size of America or the sort of the idea of a road trip is a bit foreign to them, literally foreign to them.
But man, here to get in the car and go four hours is just no sweat.
And four hours I can be with you.
When I drove home, especially from Utah, because we did it without stopping, it was an endurance test. That was a lot.
Even though I slept in the passenger seat when I wasn't taking my turn, I have
sleep apnea, so I'm not sleeping very well. It was hard.
You're a mute, Kyle. You can't plug that
pap machine in the car? Cigarette? Well, I do have
the ability to do that there's a
there's a cigarette adapter but i the truck has a plug and ac adapter too
but i am too vain to do that in front of dude that'd be hilarious dude that'd be hilarious
i would want you to have it on and then like have like some a fake pipe uh pilots yoke
traffic like give them a nod dude that episode hurt my feelings so hard
it's in my head it's been like 15 years
my dad loves that shit because it like he he also has one of those things had one I don't know how
long and and he loves that fucking scene in Sopranos where Junior's getting fitted for his
first uh b-pap or whatever and Tony's like, how many Migs you shoot down in this
winter? My wife
loves the BPAP. She thinks it's the greatest
thing. Well, one, I'm very nice to sleep with.
I'm completely silent. I like to sleep
like a corpse with my hands like this
on my chest, on my back.
I need one-eighth of a
king-size bed. She can have the other
seventh-eighths. I don't care.
When we snuggle
like spoon or something it blows cold air on her neck now a thing about me is i'm hot i'm always
hot anyone who's ever given me a hug is like dude the fuck like you're a radiator but it blows like
a nice cooling stream of air on the back of her neck that she finds to be delightful and uh yeah
so it's a pure win but i still am embarrassed with the whole thing
yeah i i'm the same way at least in comparison with my girlfriend uh i went to bed last night
like three in the morning and uh climbed into bed and um but her the little puppy the pomeranian
he's like six months old i i sleep on my side like in the fetal position kind of with my head
heads one of my hands is always like curling the pillow up to make it kind of a more of a pillow or something and um and so this dog comes
and like collapses right here in this little pocket under my chin and goes little little baby
yawn and then like snuggles in with me and like puts his head on the pillow right under my chin and it's like he's
sharing the pillow with me it's so fucking cute it's so fucking cute i love that dog like like
at first that dog had no personality like all dogs but like now that he's getting older he's
yeah he's coming to his own yeah it's a cute fucking dog i was i put myself in that guy's
position when you said 24 year old girlold girl, right? Hypothetical single Woody.
Look, 24-year-olds are beautiful.
That's not the problem.
The problem is I want there to be some level of mutual attraction.
I can convince myself that a 30-year-old gold digger at least likes me a little, right?
A 24-year-old would have to think I'm gross.
As fit as I aspire to to be she has to be like
oh gross like like i was trying to put it into terms for you like what if someone just had their
18th birthday right maybe you're like oh that's perfect i'm down or maybe you're like
22 is better yeah we're not losing yeah on the sex appeal. I don't know. It also depends on the situation.
18 is
just, especially just turned
18, everybody looks different.
That is too young
for a number of reasons. Especially if you're
looking for a relationship partner.
I mean,
if they're with you, they're with you.
Whatever. But I would like to be able
to have some kind of a conversation.
And man, an 18-year-old and I mean, you're not going to be able to have a conversation.
So why is she with you?
That's what spins in my head, right?
Oh, well, maybe she's got some daddy like attraction.
Well, that's probably what it is.
Look, if she's with me, then she likes older guys.
Like that's a part of the attraction.
Or she likes thicker wallets.
Perhaps. Or she likes guys. They all like that's a part of the attraction or she likes thicker wallets perhaps or she likes got something about me that she likes in particular if she's with me probably
and you know i wouldn't have a problem if that was older guys like i don't i mean there are women who
just like like i don't know guys that if they really were to go to a therapist might represent
their father in some way or maybe the father they never had
or at least an older masculine figure who's there for them.
I would keep that woman away from the therapist.
Let her just stay the way she is.
It's a lady therapist.
The war is no good for you.
She's changing what we have here.
Is that what you want?
Buckle your seatbelt.
Is that what you want?
Now when the waiter asks,
you tell him you're 15.
Gotta get the discount with her.
Yeah, 18 is too young,
especially just turned 18
for any kind of a real conversation.
Yeah, she wouldn't get any, like there 18 for any kind of a real conversation at all.
Like there'd be no shared like cultural memories.
You know what I mean?
None.
You couldn't reference any of the movies you like to her.
And even if you showed her movies that you really like, the chances that they would resonate with her the same way they would.
Oh, that would.
With you is like nil.
Yeah.
Like one of the things that I like to do and like the sort of
shared experience that I like to build, not with just
with women, but with other people
is sort of watching
something that I love and
sort of telling them about it and teaching
them about it and
sort of experiencing it together with them like a movie
or a show. Imagine showing her
Dumb and Dumber and she views it
like Gone with the Wind,
like some ancient history.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
The acting's just so unnatural.
Well, it's Jim Carrey.
He's, why don't they use mustard and ketchup?
Yeah, that would upset me.
I don't know.
She's like, wow, it's crazy to think
all these characters are long dead.
Right?
Not all of them.
1998. Some.
Yeah, if she was 18 in 2024,
she would think about, like, Lord of
the Rings as, like, just
one of those movies that happened before she was
born. No, no.
Eight years before she was born.
Is that right? Do you have the math right? Yeah.
Yeah, because Lord of the Rings first one was, like, 99 to no. Eight years before she was born. Is that right? Do you have the math right? Yeah. Okay.
Because Lord of the Rings first one was like 99 to 2002.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My God.
And I'm thinking of a movie that came out.
That'd be like, I don't know, 2010, the year we make contact or one of those.
The way that you view like Saturday Night Fever with John.
Classics.
Yeah, classics.
Like what's a movie that came out in 1983?
Probably
I don't know.
I don't know specific
years too well though.
Probably one of the early
Friday the 13th.
Probably Friday the 13th 2 came out
around then.
2010 is the year
we made contact.
She would look at Lord of the Rings
the same way I look at
Cheech and Chong still smoking.
That's when they go to Amsterdam, right?
I think of that as a very old
ridiculous movie.
Is that when they go to Amsterdam?
It says it in the description.
Rambo 2 is around then?
That's in our Plex, by the way. it in description i bet rambo 2 is around then maybe yeah that's in
our plex by the way someone just added it uh rambo 2 uh it's rambo 2 is called rambo first blood part
2 it's the it's one of the worst titles ever monty python the meaning of life that was 1983
i would have thought that was way before that yeah you don't have any shared culture almost
you're almost from different countries or something like that
or from different times, certainly.
So I don't know.
I'm going to need somebody.
Maybe she could take a film class.
Then we could hang out.
I sent Taylor a meme that was from Terminator 2,
and then me and Chiz laughed at each other,
like talking around his knowledge of the movie
because he didn't know what it was.
Like, what do you think this is taylor i don't know oh i was like is it like a spider-man or
something like that we're like we're like no iron man oh yeah iron man one yeah and then me and
chiz pretend like that's a scene from iron man oh really damn i believed you yeah that was us
mocking you to your face like with our own private little jokes it's
pretty good taylor i think terminator one you are gonna look at and say that the effects didn't hold
up yeah but um terminator two they did a really good job in in the same way here's the deal the
effects they look amazing because they weren't going for phot realism the guy's like a uh like a liquid
metal right he's like moving mercury so you don't look at it and say like ah the nose isn't quite
right yeah it's not i'm like effects is probably the thing i judge movies least on especially if
they're older like you see the stop motion Terminator?
It looks like those old Christmas movies with Rudolph.
It's a little jerky.
It's a little jerky.
It's a little jerky.
It's a little jerky.
He's only on screen for four seconds.
That movie cost $7 million in 1986.
I'm going to let it go.
Yeah.
But yeah, I don't think I could date someone that young and neither could king george to his credit yeah although they didn't show it but he he talked about
fucking a lot he's like well enough by agress reality and a testosterone shot you can get
quite the erection at 85 okay okay pumping george up over over there Really dancing with the devil every time though
That 85 year old heart
Really working
Dude what's to lose
That's how he said he wanted to die
He's like I don't want a woman to fuck me to death
I just want a ruin of some 32 year old
The rest of her life
You know
Fuck again because she's so traumatized
From my ghastly corpse atop her daddy issues are
bullshit i give her grandpa issues yeah i feel like that would ruin a girl like she would have
nightmares but taylor imagine that you're really giving it to some gal maybe one that you're not
super in love with and she you fuck her to death like like like she's so excited and so over the moon that she, oh, oh, my heart!
It's going so fast!
And she comes so hard, she dies.
Now that would upset me.
Okay, at first. Clearly at first
you're going to be upset. You're going to be like,
oh my god, the mess.
That's an accomplishment very few have rivaled. I would update my Tinder profile.
You'd update it? I'd be like,
I'd include that.
There's a dead body in my house now.
Am I in trouble for this?
Well, I don't want to call someone.
There's a 87% survival rate.
Take the handcuffs off.
Take the handcuffs off and you call the authorities.
You let them know you fucked her to death.
You show them the tape, they'll understand.
I don't know if I would...
I'd like to think i would move quickly in that
circumstance and be like all right she's dead i have to call the police right now because if i
call in like a day or like if i have 12 hours if i have like 12 hours of freak out and then call
it makes it look so sketchy so i need need to call righteous now. Now? Yeah, of course.
We don't want to get all stiff.
But I would be distracted by the idea of am I in trouble?
We haven't covered it.
And you need to finish.
Obviously, you'd finish first and then call.
Oh, I finished way – she was really alive when I finished.
As far as you know.
Yeah, I've been done for 40 minutes at that point.
As far as the police know that she was alive when i came it's like it looks like there's
some fresh semen from even just a few moments ago and i'm like that's interesting but you guys
are known to make mistakes it is one of god's great mysteries i can just imagine you and your
boys are out and maybe you meet a girl she's
like you're all sitting there having drinks she's like my boy fucked the chick to death one time you
don't even know you don't even know the mad skills taylor has we call him the killer except i would
be like one of the actual marines that like killed people over there and like not want to talk about
it at all like tell us how you fucked her to death and I'm like no no no no no
you just have to go into a rage
man arise
fixating on one thing
yeah that would I don't think you
could get legally in trouble
if you fuck someone
and they have a heart attack in the middle of it
yeah yeah but I
guess it happens all the time
if they're super old, yeah.
Then it's almost like the paramedics
are going to show up and be like, yeah, it was about time.
Like, the surprise season.
I'm with Woody. I think maybe you put that on your
Tinder profile. I think, especially a year
or two removed, your people, your friends
are definitely going to be like, you don't even know.
My man's got that killer dick.
Yeah. I guess that's
like, yeah, all he needs is his dick and a really strong belt.
And you're in trouble with this one.
Yeah.
So auto asphyxiation,
it's auto because you do it to yourself,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what is it if you're being asphyxiated?
It's erotic asphyxiation.
If I choke you for,
for giggles.
Yeah.
What you always want a spotter, you know, for a situation like that, if you're going to auto erotic asphyxiation if i choke you for for giggles yeah which you always want a spotter
you know for a situation like that if you're going to auto erotic erotically i cannot imagine
something less erotic than being choked well see it's not about the choking it's about the lack of
oxygen and then that little hiccup that your brain has in the middle of sex that's extremely
pleasurable i've i've done it to
girls and and they have a good time but have you ever done it have you ever been choked out
i've been choked out but not in a sexual way like like joe lozon choked me out one time woody might
have choked me out one time uh a few i've been choked out i had maybe a half dozen times throughout
life and i never found it to be pleasurable anyway a little weird however like i was i choked a girl out during sex and she really had a good time with it
i i think of it as like a girl thing i'm somewhere in the middle guy how are you going to keep your
dick hard as we don't like choking out but like a hand on the neck is sort of a control thing
is a bit is a good time but not to the point you were you restricting air blood flow that's much more
like a i can choke a girl unconscious with one hand so like if she's on top of me i can get like
get reach up there with one hand and i've done that as a teenager we used to um well i don't
know if the breathing part was even important but they bend over breathe hard stand up and then
against the wall just choke them is it the car the carotid? They push against your chest
is what we would do.
I don't know that one.
It's like the knockout game
before the knockout game. We would do this
thing where there was a
process to it. It's like put your head
down, take 10 deep breaths,
stand up real quick
against the wall, and then someone would push on your chest
to push all the air out, and you'd just go that like you'd go everything would go dark and they'd have
to catch you and it was a fun it was fun we did that but with the hand on the neck much like you
described sexually but yeah it's hot yeah yeah you can um but that's how i knew that like any
idea of a woman beating up a man was a bad idea when when when that chick went unconscious and I was like wow I could just kill her with one hand that's kind
of cool that's like something you brag about one hand it's like wow she went
out so fast and then I saw over the weekend was I get I get a mixed up those
world's strongest men guys cuz they kind of look the same, you know?
It might have been Brian Shaw.
It was Eddie Hall.
Eddie Hall, yeah.
Eddie Hall did a 2v1 MMA fight in this freak fight.
Midget martial arts.
And they're like the Guerrero Brothers or something.
They're genuinely brothers who fight together.
And they're like, I don't know, they're little guys.
Like 135 pounds or something.
He slaughtered there.
It was like the Hulk smashing those guys.
He picked one of them up and smashed him on the ground,
like the Hulk,
and then started beating up the other.
Did you see like he,
he slammed one,
like,
like the,
I think Eddie Hall is like six,
three,
and he slammed
this midget from above his head
and then the midget who he
slammed stood up and was trying to avenge
his brother who was taking the full brunt of him then
and he just like
just popped this little guy in the side
of the head and knocked a midget
clean out. I didn't realize they were so small.
I thought they were like 5'10, 190
and with eddie
hall you don't or any of the world's strongest men it's hard to get a sense of scale yeah they're
little guys uh that's the second 1v2 fight i've seen in a while i saw a guy fighting two women
uh a week or two ago he was out of shape fat yeah he was out of shape and he was they were wearing
him down i thought i don't think i don't know that he could have taken three women,
unless he took it more seriously and really tried to get one of them out,
because it seemed like he'd smash and be like,
think about that while I beat this other girl up for a while.
You decide if you want to come over to our side.
Then you go to the other side of the ring and beat her up,
and the other girl would be slow to kind of pick herself back up and get back
in the fight. Maybe she'd just throw a
kick at range or something. She didn't really
want to get in there close with that big fucker.
On the Thunder Thought subreddit,
there's been two fights lately where the girls
beat up. That's my
frustration because the title would be
like, girl beats up boy. And I'm like, alright, let's
see this. He clearly
didn't even defend
himself he allowed her to harmlessly punch him until she moved on to something else and i'm like
that's your win that was an act of graciousness on his part not a loss i've seen so i saw one
where a very big black woman is in a domestic violence situation with her boyfriend
and he's hitting her range,
but he's staying at range because he knows.
And she's like,
you,
you a bitch ass Ninja.
You a bitch ass.
I think I've seen this one.
Finally,
he gets too close and she,
he's,
she gets him by his hair and now she,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh.
And she's throwing these huge wind-up uppercuts that start up
and she's just smashing this motherfucker he's like yeah you bitch ass ninja bitch ass ninja
just smashed him to all of us agree we would beat that woman's ass oh yeah if she tried to get close
i'm like i'm better at grappling than boxing you've made a huge mistake
like it's not even worse for you yeah i remember a couple things about wrestling and i'm certainly
stronger than her fat ass it's gonna go fine there's nothing i yeah that poor guy was just
too small yeah i think you start working that woman's body i don't think she's gonna want any
more after a while like i just i just think just think if I hook one to the body as hard
as I can, I think she's really going to hurt.
What's the hair grabbing thing?
I think even if one of you two guys with
good man grip strength tried to hold me by
the hair, it's too short.
It would just wiggle out between your fingers.
Yeah, you don't have enough hair to grab.
My dad always talked about that in fights.
I would probably behave if someone grabbed
a bunch of my hair.
I missed the very beginning of're saying i'd be like i wouldn't want to be i wouldn't want to get a giant amount of my hair ripped out that would hurt so much and so like if someone grabbed
me a bunch of my hair i'd be like whoa what the fuck like i wouldn't want to continue until they
your hair is longer than my like yeah i get a hold of that. My hair? You can't rip out someone with half inch
long hairs.
They just slide between your fingers.
You definitely wouldn't want long hair
in an actual combat situation.
I remember my dad was talking about a fight.
My dad was talking about a fight
he got in one time when he was a kid
and just talked about
after the fight, the guy's girlfriend was picking
his hair out of his mouth because my dad had pulled so much hair out fight the guy's girlfriend was picking his hair out of his mouth
because my dad had pulled so much hair out of the guy's mouth head like he was like
the hair he's like yeah i grabbed it by the hair yeah that's like the core technique you know
where the head goes the body follows they grab their opponent's head they make them bend over
and from there like they're off balance and really struggling i'm absolutely grabbing Where the head goes, the body follows. They grab the opponent's head. They make them bend over.
From there, they're off balance and really struggling.
I'm absolutely grabbing your hair if you've got long hair and we're fighting in the street.
There's no honor here.
Oh, yeah.
I'd have hit you with a stick if I'd had one.
Do everything you can to avoid a street fight.
That's a good idea.
There's no winning there.
You're just as likely i've
seen a lot of them i've seen yeah you're right you've seen more than me i don't think it's
winning for me you know why i either like lose the fight or lose the lawsuit like i don't i don't
want to give you a victory for my money and you don't know how many friends it has around like
you could just get suckered like you could get tripped you get tackled from behind like how many
fights have you seen like that online
where one guy's clearly winning,
and then, oh, but you didn't anticipate the five-on-one.
Then you're getting your head stomped in.
I saw a guy win the five-on-one today.
This big black dude is getting jumped by maybe five others,
and I think he KOs three, and then the rest run away.
I think we watched in our chat a woman who won.
Is it a 3v1 or something?
There was incredible Hawks sound effects. Oh, that was a 3v1 or something? There was incredible Hulk sound effects.
Oh, that was a 2v1.
2? Okay.
Yeah.
Sound effects made that one.
She won that easily.
Hulk smash.
She's like picking up hot chicks and smashing them on the ground.
I liked almost the little auxiliary, the smaller sounds they added in,
which I assume were like Hulk's grunting and movement sounds.
It wasn't the big
it was like
you do it well
I like that
yeah
so yeah you watched a
Ren Faire documentary over the
weekend you learned about that
I'm getting a new fish tomorrow it's
like a big thing so the fish we're getting is known for having worms in its belly which is a
problem so we've been like deep diving and basically becoming fish veterinarians on how
we're going to quarantine medicate and deworm this fish over the next two weeks, which is tough. It's like, imagine being, um,
I can't remember the name of the cancer doctor.
Uh,
what is the oncologist?
Right.
So we're, we're going to apply like copper to this tank and hurt the fish,
but hopefully enough that he emerges on the other side.
Yeah.
Disease free.
And that starts tomorrow.
Okay.
I don't always live through this.
I didn't know that copper killed parasites.
It does. Yeah. It is specifically, that starts tomorrow okay i don't always live through this i didn't know that copper killed parasites it does yeah it specifically it stops the parasites from attaching to the fish so then what you do is you like put them in copper for three days change out all the water and then now
like you do that twice and the fish should be parasite free yeah i don't know why they don't
make all door doorknobs out of copper.
I'm pretty sure it kills bacteria.
I remember that during COVID. They started
making keychain
attachments for pulling on door handles
out of copper.
So you could just use that as a little
What a funny time in history.
And it wasn't that long ago. It feels
like it was a decade ago, right? It feels like it was a decade ago right it feels like it was
so long ago when we were worried about that shit it's like now like three years ago people were
freaking out i remember trying to get my internet like uh the box or whatever at the internet place
and and they'd be like do you have a mask no i left it do you have any emergency masks of course
sir right this way it was like they did that.
You know, every business did.
Do you have a piece of cloth that I could fart through to put over my face?
COVID was a while ago.
The repercussions of COVID were a little more recently, though.
I think it was, I'll call it two or three years ago, I was buying a tent.
And I was remarking to myself that there was a time say tent purchase
you looked at how good the tent was and how much you wanted to spend and try to find a balance
there but at this time it was like the stock like 70 of the website was out of stock so now it's
like how much you want to spend how good a tent you need and what's available that what's available
was never a huge part of my buying
decision before everything's available yeah and that wasn't that long ago i was applying to manga
yeah i couldn't get um i couldn't get weights i remember like i couldn't get uh like gym equipment
at all weights were so expensive in that time covid messed up plastics and then there was a
fire or snowstorm or something in texas that apparently they made like most of America's
plastic there.
So I couldn't get a motorcycle shield like visor for my helmet.
Yeah, that's wild.
Kind of exposed how fragile the whole supply system is.
It's like two days of a couple of trucks not driving across the country and everybody runs
out of everything.
Yeah. days of a couple trucks not driving across the country and everybody runs out of everything yeah sometime in my like 20s just in time inventory became the default way to make things
and no one wanted to stock like a week's worth of parts no no no that inventory should show up
the nanosecond you need it and like you said that's a fragile way to run a world yeah because
it just like trickles down because then the the manufacturer is talking to
their plants and being like no you made too much we need that much three days from now not now
and it's a huge stocking issue and then you try and send too much to walmart or to an amazon dc
and they'll freak out on you but you know how much room we're keeping in product that's not going to be sold for 31 hours?
We have all the data lined up and you're costing us money.
It's a bit of a different topic, but I read today that Elon Musk's compensation package is likely to be declined.
I don't know where I feel about that.
Putting aside his idiosyncrasies we
all have to agree he's been pretty successful in business right he's made valuable companies
but 56 billion dollars is an outrageous compensation package for tesla or if this
is just for tesla yeah yeah it's not the boring company it's not twitter it's not any of the
things he wants his tesla compensation to be 56
billion dollars and he's making moves like moving all of his ai initiatives out of tesla which was
part of its valuation and putting it in x you know twitter and prioritizing them for the nvidia chips
yeah he prioritized them for the nvidia chips and uh so the tesla guys are like the fuck elon's considering us like the you know eric trump
yeah they're coming the back burner yeah yeah and uh that's one of his like sort of
moves to make sure his compensation package gets approved but they're saying it's not
the stock dropped because they think they're going to lose elon but i i look at Elon Musk, and I could be wrong, as a really good 37-year-old basketball
player. Let's not deny you're a Hall of Famer,
but who you are right now is driving away liberals
from electronic vehicles. That's a rough move.
What are they going to do, drive a Rivian?
Yeah, Rivians, BMWs, Fords, whatever. your what are they going to drive a rivian yeah yeah rivians bmws affords whatever everything
yeah i'm trying to porsche volvo acura everybody has an electric now and they're good
better than they used to be right and um uh so he's driving liberals away from tesla which is
a problem in the ev space i'm trying not to be political, but that's a reality. It's a hundred percent a problem.
And also he just from the outside, it looks like he's spending a lot of time and attention on X.
And if you're a Tesla investor,
you know,
you don't love that.
So is Elon still let's,
can we say he was the best CEO on the planet planet at one point is he that now is he that
going forward i don't know i mean i don't know enough about the ceo competition game yeah right
but um i know like traffic on x is up but like after all those campaigns from like
adl and shit to like shut down advertisers like it's who knows what monetarily they're
they're bringing in i enjoy elon every
time i hear an elon story it i there was something about right after he bought tesla or um twitter he
wanted there was there were some servers and he was like why do we have these servers and oh we
need those and he's like well how long would i want them gone he's like it's costing too much
i don't think we need that and they're like okay it'll take six months. What do you mean it'll take six months?
Why can't you just turn it off tomorrow?
That's impossible.
You would have to fire all these people.
He's like, all right, well, they're all fired.
And he gets in his plane, and he flies to where the servers are,
and he goes in the building and asks his security guard for a pocket knife,
and he cuts the cable.
And he's like, there you go you go it's done i turned it off
problem solved yeah stuff like that i don't know if that's good leadership or terrible like
i honestly i'm stuck on it so we um supercharger is another thing that recently happened
elon wants to lay off all these people and the guy that ran the charging network for Tesla was protecting his people.
And Elon's like, that shit doesn't fly under my leadership.
When I say to find 15, whatever it is, percent of your staff to haircut, you do it.
Now, 100% of you are fired.
You're all gone.
And he just fired everyone having to do with the supercharger network.
And then I think he hired back the head guy and some percentage of the staff later but that guy definitely lost
you know the battle between him and his boss as you might expect yeah and i'm like so did elon
is that good leadership or bad leadership he makes tough decisions than me because i remember there
was a huge kerfuffle when he bought
Twitter because he was like
you know it seems like a lot of you here
just kind of sit around not even
you're just tweeting
and then he like fired
thousands of people and there were a bunch of
Twitter former employees on the
platform being like it's
going to get so wild around here
and it like it didn't there were hiccups but you're
right like i feel like now the dust is settled and the score is posted and elon was 90 right
yeah elon was basically like you know i can run this with 13 indian guys
it's like me and x jaw said like 20 years ago or whatever like we went and viewed machinima
like their offices and everything,
and saw the bloat and the waste and all these people getting paid for nothing.
And it was like, dude, we could run this whole goddamn company
if we had three more PCs and a couple of gamers, our gamer buddies.
We could get two more gamer buddies who are into coding or something
or know how to run a website front. We could run this whole goddamn company.
Who in here is worthwhile?
Hutch and CNNers have a big
following. Sark.
Who else?
Why does it take you three
months to post a video?
We automate.
He becomes a bot now.
He becomes a bot on day one
that somebody ran and he never
gets paid again.
We're not going to have an office in LA.
I'm sorry.
Maybe we don't need this real estate right here.
Holy fucking shit.
Why aren't we here?
What's the rent on this place?
Commercial real estate in LA for no reason.
Hollywood's a hard thing to value.
We're going to Texas with this company right now not bad well oh that's
a fun thing tennessee or florida no we're not going to pay state taxes anymore boys let's let's
some of the youtubers that live in the hollywood area get opportunities and collaborations and such
that they wouldn't have had in texas i was watching some guy on reddit and he could be totally wrong
but he was talking about the jre podcast and the quality of the guests.
And he's like,
dude,
it tanked.
It used to be people would stop by and do the Jerry while they were doing
other things because they were in Hollywood.
Now you have to make a special effort to go out to Texas.
And since then it's so many of like Joe's buddy,
people who were doing comedy shows at the thing.
And like,
they just feel like the guests aren't
what they once were and i kind of agree but i might be a hater i'm not i haven't i don't watch
any i would need to see really i'd have to see a like what guests they don't have anymore robert
downey jr was a huge i thought there is like a an exception to that rule it's joe rogan he might
have enough gravity to pull if like if tucker carson, or who's the biggest guy on Fox?
I don't even know.
Jesse Waters.
Jesse Waters.
If Jesse Waters woke up tomorrow
and the metrics said that he had half of Joe Rogan's listenership,
they would be throwing a parade at Fox.
If Anderson Cooper got 20% of the average JRE listenership, they'd be popping champagne at CNN.
People like you go on Rogan and he is a kingmaker in a way that no one else in media really is.
It's insane, his reach.
Not only because of the reach he has, but because of the format and how different it is from all those other people you just mentioned.
You go on Jimmy Fallon's show, for example,
and you get your
one segment. Ah, we got Taylor here
from the Taylor podcast,
right? And he's a funny guy.
You don't get to say anything. You get
one little joke that you have set up
beforehand. You set me up for Indian
guy, and I do it to a lot of boos
because it's an L.
Why is no one liking this when you go on something like rogan and you do an hour two hours of like telling your stories and going back and forth and the best part the part that really sells you as a
person is is between all that it's when they're just shooting the shit with each other and having a good time or maybe it's the opposite you know i've seen people go
on and and i've come away being like oh that guy's weird you know sometimes it's awkward and and weird
and you can tell howard terrence howard was bizarre i watched a um i think i linked you guys
to it but if you want to find it i you probably just youtube search why terrence howard is an
idiot and some guy who has a science channel he's like nate the science man or some something like If you want to find it, you probably just YouTube search why Terrence Howard is an idiot.
And some guy who has a science channel is like Nate the Science Man or something like that.
Some PhD has a YouTube channel.
And he spends an hour tearing Terrence Howard apart.
He's like, actually, you don't even know what the words that are spilling out of your mouth mean.
First of all, this is that.
It's a biochemistry term.
It has nothing to do with physics.
It doesn't really apply here. Gravitons, real that's from star trek like he's just tearing him apart like page by page for an hour i may have seen that exact one if not i saw another one that
was that sounds just like it yeah i also saw is it brett weinstein who's the guy that joe rogan
seems to think is a genius he's got curly hair brown dark curly hair
oh yeah that that eric weinstein i'm close and uh he's like he's an academic and he's
he's he might be a scientist he's not like a highly regarded one and basically like classical
liberals like i'm i'm a i'm a basic bitch conservative which is no no you're confused
taylor is that this okay i see this guy okay university of michigan university of pennsylvania
what is i've seen him on there before what's his name brett brett samuel weinstein
yes that's the guy anyway he was saying that terence howard was right and he's a genius
and that he just hasn't taken this guy's a bit of a grifter and he's not respected by other
scientists and um he's like there is a tour that you take down the science but that's not what
terence does terence likes to explore on his own and go outside the lines and he doesn't
just stay on the path.
And he was acting like it was a kind of a genius to say gravity's fake or
whatever the fuck he said.
And,
uh,
I don't know.
It's at the wrong way with me.
Yeah.
I,
uh,
I,
I wasn't smart enough,
obviously to debunk the things that Terrence Howard was saying.
Like I don't have the, the background and the formative knowledge, but I can tell when someone's full of shit.
I know enough to know that that doesn't sound right to me.
I don't know how an automatic transmission works.
I don't know if you've ever seen the inside of one of the motherfuckers.
Of course I have. I don't get it.
It's very complicated in there.
But if you were to try to bullshit me about your knowledge,
not you specifically, but if a person tried to bullshit me
about having some knowledge about the internals of an automatic transmission,
I'd quickly pick it apart.
I don't think you know.
No, that's not what that is.
No, it's no.
You're full of shit.
I don't know enough about this.
It's like when whateverlie said that you burnt
the trash and went up the sky and became stars and max i don't know enough about star formation
to debunk that but it can't be true yeah that's how i feel about terrence howard i don't know
enough about star formation to debunk what he's saying but i can tell when he's a there's a grift
at play and most likely some serious mental illness, legitimate mental illness that needs to be medicated mental illness.
That's how I interpret it.
The simple math stuff should be enough to call into question all the gravity.
You don't even have to be an expert on gravity for him to be like,
what was it like?
The square root of two is one.
And it's like, that can't be true.
It's like just logically using my mind's eye to picture one, one, one set of one.
There you go.
I know that's not correct.
And so I don't trust you on gravity either.
If you are right in any way about gravity, it is entirely circumstantial.
Like you, you were, a you know a broken clock but i've been falling
asleep to that to like giant shit i find those two hour long videos of of just talking about
multiple dimensions and stuff like that and um i wish i could have been on the chair a few times
he has a british accent asian with he's british i think chris bell it can't be that's
not it oh shucks i thought you'd know his name what does he talk about physics mostly um
i i love those videos i i love learning about and trying to learn about gravity and, uh, and, and, and the multiple dimension stuff is really fascinating to me.
Uh,
Brian Cox.
I think you'd love him,
Kyle.
I mean,
I love Brian Cox.
He's fantastic.
He's,
uh,
I think he teaches at Oxford or he did.
He's very,
he is to me,
what Neil DeGrasse Tyson aspires to be.
He, I'm just finding the actor, Brian Cox and the football player Brian Cox.
Let me make sure I didn't get it wrong.
Let's say physicist Brian Cox explains black holes on dark energy.
Wormholes.
Dude, you're going to like Brian Cox so much.
I think you're going to recognize him, actually.
Oh, of course.
I've seen...
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, this is how we know that space is flat.
This guy's a...
I've seen that video.
A flat spacist?
I don't fully understand how space is...
He lost me on that one.
He's talking about the shape of...
He's talking about the shape.
He was talking about the...
I guess he says the universe isn't expanding
like a point going outwards.
It's more expanding like a wave going forward.
But I'm probably messing it up.
There are things moving away from us
faster than the speed of light,
but they're not moving.
The space between us is expanding and stretching.
So the distance is increasing
without the
object that's actually exceeding the speed
of light. However, it's leaving us faster
than the speed of light, if that makes sense. It'd be like stretching
the distance between us and
the object while it simultaneously moves away
from us.
He's...
Forgive me as I make a short
story long. I have this memory when I
was a kid when the rain was headed down the street and I was riding my bicycle and I, the rain was behind,
it was pouring like 15 feet behind me, but I'm dry and the rain caught me. And then I was able
to get out in front of it again. And then the rain caught me. And eventually as I turned in
the house, I got soaking wet in an instant, But the rain speed of advancement, a pouring wall of rain and mine was about the same.
That is how I feel cognitively as I listen to Brian Cox.
Like just keeping up, not keeping up, understanding again.
I am cognitively redlined when this guy explains physics.
And if I'm on my game, then i enjoy it yeah i'm in a
similar place yeah i there are many times where i'm just like damn it i wish i understood what
that last part was because they they keep bringing it up it's like they're talking about a lot of
dark energy and dark matter is this guy is this guy taking me for a fool right now is he is he memeing on me is in his head is he going
these fucking idiots believe anything like this or is he like what's the deal yeah i need to watch
that because i don't know anything about i watched a channel called history of the universe
and the video is called uh how many multiverses are there and Are There? And I enjoyed it so much.
I linked it there in case you care to watch it.
It's an hour long.
I was redlined the whole time through.
It's one of those where you're like, all right, God, this is hard.
And he goes, that was level one.
And you're like, oh, no.
And then by the time you get to level three or four,
he's literally blowing my mind a little bit.
Yeah.
But he talks about historical.
What I enjoy is sometimes when facts just get thrown at me
and huge ideas get thrown at me, I'm like, how do we know?
Who figured that out?
When did we know?
But this guy, he's like, it was 1801.
And this guy, who was a rich
genius who was widely known as the last man who knew everything and i'm like huh really
yeah that was the last era you could get away with that shit
he was though one of those navy seal astronauts when you looked at his accomplishments.
They were working on whether light was a wave or a particle.
And that's a big part of the fucking video.
What side is he on?
It's both.
Pick a side, brother.
Before we wrap it, you're like the guy who knew everything.
P.K.A. Dan dan who kyle probably remembers my
friend who was on the show um he's one of those guys that like knows factoids that like other
people don't and it like whatever cisco dinners or something he'd always blow your mind with
something that you didn't you would never believe but smartphones ruined that gig for him you know
he's like did you know america was actually founded then? You're like,
wait, that doesn't sound right. You're full
of shit.
And now no one can know everything
anymore. Tigers do not
have literally thousands of
teeth.
Tigers don't regrow their teeth like
sharks. You're just making shit up.
God damn. This was a great gig in the 80s i'd love i'd love to be a misinformation spreader in like 1985 you just say whatever you
want no one knows before we wrap taylor taylor you still playing uh age of empires 2 is that
still the game of choice yes yeah i'm loving a'm loving AoE 2, getting better at it.
I feel like I hit another tier
recently where I've just gotten smoother
and better at it. I've been taking on better competition
online. And then
the Xbox reveal showed
three months
from now, Age of Mythology, the remake
is coming out. And they did
way more of a remake than I thought
they were going to like they ported
I guess the entire game
into the age of Empire's
3 engine which is like
it's not the 2D sprite model
that like AoE 2 runs on it's like
a 3D modeling system
and I saw like a little bit of gameplay
on that it looks awesome I'm definitely
going to play it it looks like a brand new game
it's uh
i i never have known enough about like build orders in that game the way i do aoe but it's
a remake but it looks like a brand new game i'm lost on that yeah so age mythology was
they basically i think they rebuilt the whole thing in the new engine is is they remastered it
uh in in the aoe3 engine instead of its original
whatever the original engine was because it looks way way better i like i started up age mythology
not too long ago and in my head i was like this game looked all right and i've been like spoiled
by the aoe2 remaster so much that just looking at old age mythology i'm like oh this looks like
dog shit like all it's so polygonal and ugly and then this new one looks really really good so i'm
100 gonna get in as soon as age mythology retold drops and play a lot of that uh it's such a fun
rts and it has that that same it's a fusion of the two kinds of like fantasy i like which is like the
core fantasy bows and arrows and swords
and shields and then also mythology so you can build medusas or cyclops minotaurs all these
kind of special units and the uh the age up system is very cool like instead of being like aoe which
is like you start in the dark age then you advance to the feudal age advance to castle age imperial
and this one like you pick a major god.
So that can be a Greek god.
I like that.
It can be a Norse god.
They added Chinese and Atlantean.
Those aren't real gods.
They're not fucking real Atlanteans.
They're not real like the other gods.
If Kyle wants to play and he's like, I really like playing archers.
He could pick Hades,
who gets a lot of bonuses for archers.
Like,
I guess there's something canonically there with Hades,
but every age he goes up,
he's not just with Hades anymore.
He's choosing minor gods.
So he'll have to,
in real time,
decide like based on what's happening in game.
All right.
Is it more beneficial for me to go all out offense with Hera and whatever
you special unit and special ability and skill she offers,
or I'm kind of on the back foot. I should go with Hephaestus, get the vault of plenty and
bolster my economy. You mentioned the Chinese gods. And I remember there's a Chinese flood myth
about a guy named Nuwa who built a boat, survived the great flood, and then painted the sky with a
rainbow so it would never flood again i think there's a lot
of of flood myths back out it makes makes you think maybe this is a big old flood there was
definitely a big flood there definitely was a big flood i i i i mean clearly there was there's there's
no way everybody i mean there has to be not everybody didn't arrive at that on their own
at a similar time and and the the myth isn't like yeah there's floods all the time it's like there was this one time where there was a real flood that washed the whole earth clean
and almost everyone died except for this guy and his family who were told by god it's like
that one's everywhere that one's in south america is you know that one's in china
the fact that his name was nua n-u-a-H or some shit. It's like, come on. Sounds a lot like Noah.
I don't buy it.
I bet all of these have like an Icarus type thing too,
like a story about a man flying.
The idea that it keeps raining just doesn't take a lot of creativity,
but I don't know how physically that could work.
Like does all the moisture in the air just ring out during this rain
and flood the planet?
Like how do you raise
sea level to the point where there's no land yeah i have no idea it would be a flood it would be um
it would be an asteroid impact or or something like that or that created a giant that that's
what uh grant like a tsunami or something no like a like an like a like an asteroid impact that flash
melts a a big part of um of an ice sheet, which happened.
They found the evidence of that happening.
Graham Hancock guy is all about there being an ancient civilization from 50,000 years ago
that had made it to sort of Roman Greek times and then got washed away.
That's what he thinks the flood myths as well as it's that gobleki tepi shit.
It's the Younger Dryas as well as it's that, uh, go blackie teffy shit.
It's the younger dryness impact is what it's called.
Younger dryness is like a, the name for some period,
some epoch in time,
um,
that there was this big change in sea level,
but that,
I don't know.
I,
I obviously ancient peoples would have dealt with floods and populations would
have been on coastlines where they're prone to flooding.
So,
so, you know, maybe that it is something that would have been on coastlines where they're prone to flooding. So, so,
you know,
maybe that it is something that would have happened a lot regardless,
but they all have that one myth of like,
yeah,
there was,
there was a big one,
one time,
Bo and we all died except for the guy who believed.
I don't think it means there's a God.
I think it means there's a big flood.
Gilgamesh is,
is another one.
Gilgamesh is undeniably just Noah's predice,
uh,
predecessor. Um, as far as mythology goes, I don't think, uh, Gilgamesh is undeniably just Noah's predecessor
as far as mythology goes. I don't think
you would really count him as
a second telling
as much as just the same telling
evolved over time. Gilgamesh
and Noah are the same guy.
I know we're
wrapping, but Kyle, if you're
going to end up playing Age of Mythology
when that comes out and you're looking to get your RTS
hands back on the
sticks or the RTS
play a little AOE with us
yeah I will consider it
I need to look at the Age of Mythology trailer
alright that was fun good show boys
goodnight