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PKN 515. What's up, boys?
How's it going?
Not too much.
How's everyone's day? Kyle, yours is going well.
Woody, how's yours?
Had a migraine today. Took a migraine pill.
Made it better, but not fine.
Now, maybe this is a dumb question.
How do you know you have a migraine and not a regular headache?
That is a fair question.
The differentiator for me is usually there's a vision element.
It's not even painful eyes, but I look at words and I'm like,
yeah, I just can't see them.
It's like there's a prism in front of them or something,
distorting it with colors.
So like near your eyes hurts?
It does, or near my temples will hurt,
but that can be a regular headache as well.
But the ocular aspect of it,
migraine.
Did those happen later in life?
No.
You always had.
They're not an age thing.
I got a good dice roll on that then.
I never,
I never get headaches.
Nope.
Like if I get one randomly,
like one,
just never,
never get.
Maybe,
maybe you're immune to cranial pressure because there's space.
My brain starts to swell and it's like, we could swell two three times bigger and nothing's like the gridge is hard there's no problem yeah my brain is is living in like a vaulted
living room like there's plenty of room to grow up yeah people bitch about headaches and i'm
always in my head like damn that sucks so your head just hurts and you can't do anything about it other than take medicine that's that's gay do you get
migraines kyle uh no absolutely no never had a migraine i get headaches occasionally okay um but
you know just take some advil and sorts that out uh it's usually from like if i smoke flour um i'll
i'll cough really hard and i can like give myself a headache
like if i ever have like a like a really hard coughing fit i'll get like a headache in my
temples from coughing so hard so to be clear that's from like a a rudimentary type joint like
a bong would prevent that question mark no that's just like you know smoking flour is smoky i mean it it
definitely if you smoke it from a joint it's smokier but then it is from some fancy bong
that percolates and cools but um it's not the weed it's the coughing and the like
that's making i usually use the um the freeze pipe uh bowl that they sent us that has this
spirally tube of um like frozen glycerin or something that the smoke goes through
and that does help but i always i forget to put it back in the freezer though and if i put it back
in the freezer without cleaning it well you know like getting the alcohol and the scrubbers out
then my you know my pizza pockets and shit start smelling like you don't want that you know that's
no good yeah well i'm glad that that you have that problem solved
just don't freeze your freeze pipe just treat it like a normal pipe yeah i don't get a headache
um i occasionally get that i'm thinking of like just genetic flaws like if i could go in and be
like you no longer get headaches like i get um you know this panic attacks i'd love to remove that
and i get um and my back goes
out like once every five years and i'm stuck on a couch for a couple days other than that eagerly
awaiting my first back problem i think as long as you keep working out like like you'll avoid 90
of those a lot of back problems are from being out of shape and like weak muscles that don't often do things suddenly have to do having to do a thing or just like hard manual labor done incorrectly.
Like they say, lift with your legs.
But sometimes you've got to keep that transmission from falling.
You know, you're you're stooped over and sort of under something as well.
You can't lift with your legs you just hurt yourself real life things are not as easy to lift as the things
made for lifting of course yeah yeah yeah that's well phrased lift with your legs it's a fish tank
i can't put my feet under it like how do you how do you carry that properly it's like lifting a
person like like you could overhead press like
150 pounds or whatever then try to do that with 150 pounds like girl 135 you'd be way harder 135
if you do one plate on it you find a 135 pound woman and it's like oh she's not well balanced
she's got all these limbs and there's no center of gravity perfect nowhere to grab
she's screaming and struggling to get away from me here at denny's she says i believed you i
believed you yeah but he didn't i'm gonna show but the waiter didn't he gave me side eyes
how everyone will believe that denny's at like 1 p.m on a tuesday oh jesus no excuse
denny's at 3 a.m. can get fucking rowdy.
It's only a little bit nicer
than Waffle House.
Waffle House, Denny's, IHOP, it's all the same food.
Everybody that's in there at 3 a.m.
IHOP is for peaceful
boomers.
And Waffle House is for people who are fucking up at night.
I think I saw a video where
somebody sucked the waiter's dick at an IHOP.
Late night IHOP and Denny's and Waffle House saw a video where like the way the somebody sucked the waiter's dick at an ihop like like like um
late night ihop and denny's and waffle houses especially friday saturday amongst the tables
or like yeah yeah this is a patron sucked his dick they're like yeah suck his dick and they're
like sucked his dick in the middle of the ihop so because were there any girls involved in this
yeah yeah there was a girl the girl was the customer yeah That's sweet of her Why don't you immediately assume gay sex
Because they're sluttier
They are sluttier
It checks out
I've seen some stills from pride parades
Where I'm like no straight people wouldn't do that
I mean they would
Like a fuck parade
Which is what pride is
I've never understood what we're proud of
What are we proud of?
I'm not proud of any...
I'm only proud of things that I've
accomplished, Taylor.
You're probably the same.
You're not proud of fucking men?
I should have thrown a parade the first time I got laid.
Just a Woody
losing his virginity parade.
Just you.
So happy.
I wouldn't go to a brown hair pride parade.
We're all like,
one of my buddies has a Facebook group of Kyle's.
It's like 875 Kyle's in there and they're all just doing Kyle shit.
And I'm like,
you know,
it's just a fucking name,
right?
We all compliment each other's dick.
This is like monster energy.
No,
it's just human beings.
I've never understood.
Like, I don't like the things are called. It's not that i don't like pride parades or have anything against pride
parades and what they do or whatever i just wish they wouldn't call it that because it doesn't
make any sense the same way that like homophobia doesn't make any sense i'm not afraid of gay
people maybe there was a time when it made sense like there was a big age age scare and people
thought that like every gay person had aids they. They saw Philadelphia three times that weekend.
They were just terrified. Maybe then
people were genuinely afraid that a gay
man might come up and spontaneously
explode blood all over them.
No longer is that the case.
Nobody's afraid of gay people.
If I try to make sense of
pride, it's that they were shamed
for so long and they're trying to push
back. It's not that it's an
accomplishment. It's that, hey,
I can be okay with myself.
They should send the old gays out there
for pride. These young gays have had nothing
but jubilation around them for
every cock they've sucked. They're getting the key
to the city for dancing naked
in front of kids in Portland.
Did you see that guy sit on the fire hydrant?
I've seen a couple. No, but I'm impressed.
I've seen fire hydrants.
Keep my eyes away from that. That's not for me.
I've seen a lot of fistings.
If you had to
attend
one parade for the
seven deadly sins, we've already got Pride.
Which makes sense. Pride is the one you start from.
Pride is the impetus of all the other sins.
I would choose... Sloth isn't going to have a parade. God damn it. Pride is the impetus for the other sins. I would choose...
Sloth isn't going to have a parade.
Damn it! That's my point! I choose sloth and I don't have to
go at all.
I'm torn between lust and gluttony.
Good for you, man.
Lust and gluttony are some of my favorite things.
I want to go to that parade.
They've already got the lust parade. That's fine.
I think the lust is just the pride parade.
They almost twofered that one.
The wrath parade. It think the lust is just the pride parade. They almost twofered that one. The wrath parade.
It's like a losing...
Are you going to get my ass kicked at a parade?
They had that too.
You remember BLM?
Oh yeah, I remember this.
They had a wrath parade all over the Midwest.
Yeah, they had one in St. Louis.
The cops attended and they watched the parade.
They were like the people with the...
Come on, you know the cops beat the fuck out of people at BLM parades.
We didn't see any.
I didn't really see that.
Oh my God, your news diet is so unbalanced.
I was watching three screens live because I wanted to see every minute.
Dude, coming for me?
Yes, I watch more Fox News.
They stood back and...
What did Trump tell those people?
Stay back and stand by
or something like that.
That was for the Proud Boys at the debate.
They were just...
They were spectators
for those BLM town burnings.
Envy.
Greed, lust, gluttony, wrath, pride,
sloth.
Not only gluttony sounds fun.
Yeah, I mean, that's just
a picnic.
Yeah, for sure.
You're just eating whatever you want. It's just a barbecue festival.
That's what the gluttony parade is.
Is it called a Brazilian barbecue?
What is the steakhouse where they come around with the
Brazilian steakhouse?
That would be my version
of a gluttony parade. Something like that.
I saw a guy get cut off at one of those
the other day on Reddit.
No more! You are finished!
He won.
I didn't know it was possible to win at that.
That's not fair to the customer.
He paid to sit there all day and eat
and he should be able to.
I think a three or four hour
cutoff should definitely be in play with any sort of all you can eat establishment okay well you didn't say he was
there for four hours i i i'm just well you said you'd stay there all day i i so i'm thinking not
really i don't like that but people do you know that you see i've seen that sign outside the
chinese restaurant written in broken english it's like you come you come all you can eat you eat and you go you don't
stay six hours you don't eat all day long just for one meal you fat american make me move back to
my terrible town that's what they do one meal one meal it's it's not to like well i'm feeling a
little bit like dinner now how about you guys like no no you paid eight dollars for this oh how about
this i don't know what they cost now. I didn't know there were seven virtues.
The seven heavenly virtues.
Would any of these be a good parade?
It's like a Game of Thrones.
Chastity, temperance,
charity, diligence,
patience, kindness, humility.
Is it bad to attend the charity parade
with my palm up?
No, it's not the charity parade.
What you got?
Reloading at the charity parade wearing i don't like any of those who wouldn't want to go to a kindness parade that's the all
that sounds kind of nice does that even mean kindness seems like it's just i i mean i i don't
i don't find a lot of rude people i don't need a kindness parade i don't want any i don't like
fake like like kindness anyway.
You have to pick one of these, though.
You're going to go to the chastity parade, you fucking weirdo?
Well, I mean, it's better than the pride parade.
I wish those two were scheduled on the same day and we had a permit argument.
Yes, and in between them, the wrath parade to sort it all out.
Yep, yep.
Or an asteroid.
I don't know.
What's pertinent?
I've never attended a parade other than the Blues winning the Stanley Cup.
And that was a bit of a pride parade, really.
Did they throw candies?
I was proud of winning the Stanley Cup.
Yeah, you worked hard for that.
I worked hard.
I watched the game.
You were proud of them for winning.
So that's sort of a pride.
Proud of them.
I was like, yeah, let Robert Thomas underage drink.
He scored a goal in game six.
That's fine.
So that was good.
Good.
And of course, if you win a championship and you're 20 years old, you have to be able to
drink at your own victory parade.
You'd be the worst cop in the city if you were like, oh, hey, Victor Wemby, put that
beer down.
Yeah.
You like try and take it from me.
No, I like that.
There's there's certain laws that
should just sometimes it's a good time to just completely ignore this law and not enforcement
like when you're a president the whole time you are yeah we have too many laws we need to get rid
of all of them except the the really important ones don't kill people don't steal stuff that's okay apparently uh don't i mean those are kind
of the two the two biggest ones don't kill people don't steal let's just maybe you have room for
sexual assault in your list okay violence throw violence in there you can loop a bunch of stuff
into violence don't kill people don't hurt people don't steal and that's really kind of we've hit all the all the majors right here like i mean
digital times yeah don't know don't illegal stream of course yeah in there with the murder and the
yeah you wouldn't download a car we know like i would i would download i would download that car
if it somehow pop out of my wall you know absolutely i have a 3d printer let's go oh you should print more stuff
how come you're never showing stuff that you're printing it's all pretty lame i don't think you'd
appreciate it but i have taught myself cad and printed dozens of things at this point oh that's
cool what's the best thing you've made shit the thing that i like the most is a little
light holder like i so something about a refugium,
you grow algae in a part of the tank that's under your tank.
And I bought this light that didn't have a good way to mount it,
but,
and I had requirements on blocking the light from getting everywhere else.
So I don't grow algae in my protein skimmer.
Anyway,
I measured out and designed this thing and it's too big for my printer.
So I started building pieces that dovetail into each other and like click like puzzles.
And it all is super perfect, like one millimeter tolerances.
And I'm really happy with it.
So a little holder for my refugium light is amongst my favorite,
but I built fish feeders, two different styles.
No, no, every time I need something,
we have a under cabinet light with this little u-shaped clip that broke and i'm like
i'm gonna design a better one and i did how big is it like are these like the 256 millimeters
cubed which is like 10 inches cubed i guess is the is what i can make and if you need something
bigger than a 10 inch cube or even like a 12 inch flat yeah then you're getting into designing
things that click together like puzzle pieces do you watch it while it's going no it prints better
when it prints slowly which means a lot of my print jobs are between like 4 and 13 hours
like you wouldn't watch that oh okay i spy on it now and then if you like sit there and watch
though you can like see it shooting the plastic out like real real slow even it's slow it's kind of fast for the human eye like it's zipping around
like almost like a regular printer but uh yeah you can see it and the software gives you a really
nice progress report like we're on layer 36 of 294 like all right you know we're 36 layers in and
that's cool it's like you've picked up a hobby in service of another hobby.
Yes, exactly.
So you can pivot to something else.
3D printers are going to be really cool whenever we actually start talking about going somewhere in space.
If they ever try to go to Mars just to do the we touched our foot down and came back thing.
I watched Stowaway. 3D printers? Or 3D printers, did you say? and came back thing. I watched... 3D printers?
You know I'm talking about 3D printers.
It was legit lost.
Alright.
How would they print 3D stuff?
Why would it be more useful on Mars?
Because you've got one
thing that makes many. Instead of
bringing a bunch of various
objects, now you have... Your space is a huge concern, right? Now you just have a box that makes many instead of bringing a bunch of various objects now you have
Your space is a huge concern right so now you just have a box that makes things and you have another box
That's full of the the material like a metal things that are in print metal
To I was what I was watching stowaway the other day and it's about a mission to Mars where one of the technicians
Who like I don't tighten screws and takes, gets knocked out unconscious in the spaceship,
in the bowels of it,
and nobody realizes until they're already heading toward Mars,
and they can't turn around,
and they start doing the math,
and we don't have enough oxygen for this black fellow who stowed away.
And so we're trying to...
But one of the main characters, Toni Collette,
breaks her arm right away,
because the guy falls on her,
and so she immediately 3D prints a cast.
It's like you don't need a big box
of human arm. You gotta
kick that guy out into space immediately.
Like that's basically
murder.
You snuck on there and now it's like
sorry my bad I'm stealing enough oxygen that
we're all gonna die. I saw this movie but I've forgotten.
Was it a genuine accident?
Yeah. He was knocked unconscious with a head injury in the bowels of the ship.
Oh, I thought he was trying to get a free ride.
No, he worked for.
Well, there's a little.
They don't even want to play with that idea because they want to paint him as such a good idea.
There's one moment where they're like, he's actually in the program.
He wanted to go to Mars someday.
And it's like, but this is clearly an accident.
He would never do this on purpose.
It's the worst fucking
movie I've ever seen.
It ends and you're like,
what? We're not even going to
go to Mars?
I'll go ahead and spoil it.
We realize we're not going to have enough air, so we try
some backup
measures. We've got the Asian guy over there.
He's going to get all of his algae that
was going to be grown on Mars,
and he's going to start growing his algae on the ship to try to make just enough oxygen for this fourth party.
And then all the algae fucking dies, and they're like,
well, out on the lander up there, there's some oxygen up there.
That might be enough.
And they go on this dangerous journey.
Long story short, the white girl gets irradiated to death,
and she throws just enough
oxygen back into the ship for the black guy to live. And then as she sits out there on the outside
of the ship, as she's being irradiated to death, the movie ends. Why did she have to go get the
oxygen? Because the black guy didn't have the training to do the precarious space climb that you had to do. And the Japanese guy had already been exhausted
and injured from some stuff that he'd done.
And the other lady's got a broken arm.
Man, not a real A-team they've got.
Well, they were the A-team.
That was the thing.
It just threw a real wrench in the machinery.
It was such a shitty fucking movie.
The whole time I'm going,
kill him!
Kill him!
Sneak up on him now!
He's asleep! They have a
syringe where they can just give him enough
painkillers so that he goes to sleep and doesn't
wake up. The Japanese guy immediately
offers it to him. He's like, ooh,
here you go.
If I were in your shoes,
I would take an honorable
route.
I hate...
I get frustrated when space
movies could be filmed
like inside a room
and when it's like oh this movie
takes place on the moon but we barely
ever leave this room it's like I take your low
budget space movie and shove it up your ass
so I'm here for if it's done well
like that movie moon
where it's pretty much all in that
control room or whatever they go out you know
he goes out the rover Kyle's recommendation recently I saw moon yeah yeah like Jackie
it was really just one room for most of that and I I liked it like it made it it made it immersed
to me more because it was like you're you're in this you're trapped with this guy like he really
is in this shitty little...
He's alone.
He's got activities that wouldn't...
It would just be the tease of social fun.
Like, oh, I have a ping pong table.
Alone.
You have nothing to pass the time
other than regret and memories.
That would suck.
He needed some single-player video games, man.
Even his TV... Just one! even his tv was old tv like like tv land sitcoms and stuff it's like why doesn't he have friends
up there in seinfeld or something yeah it'd be nice to hire him together if there was a female
like that yeah i don't know i just feel like that dynamic would make life better
well yeah or anyone i would think like if anyone. I would think like if it were someone
like if it were someone
I really disliked,
I think I would still want
someone around.
Yes, you would want
an enemy over nothing.
Absolutely.
Someone to interact with.
I feel like that
that proves itself out in prison.
Right.
You get people who are
really hard to hang out with,
but they prefer it over solitary.
Yeah.
I don't think I would have.
Like before I went, like when I was a kid, even I'd be like, wait, there's a way you can just but they prefer it over solitary. I don't think I would have.
Before I went,
when I was a kid even, I'd be like,
wait, there's a way you can just go into a solitary confinement and not have to do all the scary stuff?
Why doesn't everyone do that?
It's like, yeah, it's lonely though.
I don't care. Give me a book.
Oh, I was going to socialize with those animals?
Give me two books.
You know, I used to train
with a prison guard and you know maybe
you're standing there nose to nose with another guy like you're gonna fight and this is a visual
you just do one of these like you know that little jump lunge thing faint if you do that to a prison
guard sometimes it's a free trip to solitary confinement and people would do that to him
and if he felt like they were sincere they'd get solitary if he felt like they wanted solitary it didn't work uh i mean like if you told me i was
going to a real deal prison for say 60 days and they're like do you want to be in solitary or do
you want to you know be out in general with these you know these murderers and rapists and i'd take solitary but now imagine like 10
years you'd have you couldn't choose solitary you couldn't like you you will lose your mind
you won't be even vaguely reminiscent of the person who went into that room 10 years from now
like you will you'll be hearing things you'll you'll be in psychosis like you couldn't yeah
that's what everybody says i I've never experienced it.
The little bit of solitary I have experienced has been lovely,
but it's all voluntary.
Yeah.
It's like alone time is awesome when you're choosing to have it. When it's like, oh, man, I'm going to have a night alone in my house.
I'm going to play video games.
I'm going to eat a pizza.
I'm just going to chill.
Imagine doing that 30 nights or days in a row, and now it's like, oh my god, I'm so
fucking lonely. I need to talk to somebody. It's not alone time when you want to be
around other people. It's sad. I would not do well
with that. You think you'd be okay for 10 years? If the guard or
the book guy would just give me three
seconds of conversation a day, I think that'd be enough.
If it were legitimate, like they
had a robot sliding a tray in
and you never even saw another human form
or heard another human voice, that would
drive you absolutely insane. I just feel like
if the book guy came by and was like, what's shaking, Larry?
You got that Hunger Games?
Yeah, here you go, Kyle.
That'd be enough. That'd be enough human contact
every day. I'd be waiting on it. I thinking about their apartment i mean it's not but it was a friendly black guy in your
fantasy hey kyle i snuck in the hunger games for you that's exactly what it is i hope you like it
have you been to prison like the odds of being a white guy or like nil i guess i'm already a white
guy you're telling me two of us here two shooting stars no no it'll be a black guy it'll be a black guy well i i don't know you i'd get to the point where
you were looking so forward to those four seconds of socializing a day i'd be thinking about what i
would say i my four seconds would be his best four seconds every day you'd stutter like once
and it would ruin your next six months.
I'd be writing
jokes for that guy.
You're just sitting rocking back
and forth in yourself.
You catch him in a bad mood.
If you had TV, you're ruined.
If you take it another step, I see those European prisons
where they have televisions
and Playstations and shit.
Come on. throw me in there
that's too much
I mean we've talked about this before
that one dude in Norway
I think it's Norway actually who shot like
60 people in 20 years
children
like a fucking loon
and you see his cell
and it's like
it's nicer than any college dorm in this country.
It's so nice.
He's got multiple consoles.
They update his consoles.
He's got a nice little private seated area.
He could just play Skyrim all day.
I can't defend that guy.
But I do think we should do a little more, I don't know,
human improvement before we put them back on the
streets yeah but we don't you know it's private prisons it's like i don't know how much oversight
the government has on what happens in prisons i don't know and like recidivism rate like
is so high a lot of it is just like a revolving door where it's like all right don't you don't
you fucking assault someone again? And he's like,
fingers crossed.
He goes out there, assaults someone back in prison
for another five years.
Then he does it again.
Some people just, it doesn't seem
like you can rehabilitate them. It's like
much of a danger. It seemed like
if we tried, our rates would go up
a little bit. They couldn't.
Yeah, right. I couldn't go down.
Yeah.
Yeah, right?
I bet there are some reappearances. I mean, I took my drug program in jail.
They've got that.
You know, you get days off, I think, for taking that.
It was like McGruff the crime dog shit, dude.
It was so silly.
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
Because as we read through the book, he told us when to circle the answers.
All right. This part right here,
that'll be an answer.
Circle that.
It's like we went through
and made ourselves an answer key
the first week of that.
That class was so fucking absurd.
Everybody in there was a drug dealer but me.
You were the only one?
Yeah, because you're in federal prison for drugs.
That's why I need to take the drug class.
There's not a lot of users in there.
It's mostly felonious drug dealers,
people selling an ounce of cocaine at a time
and people that were street dealers
as their full-time profession and shit.
What were the kinds of questions?
Was it literal dare stuff?
When I was on the-
Was there a risk of cocaine? Was it literal dare stuff? Like, what was the risk of cocaine?
No, no, no.
It would pose this sort of hypothetical.
It would read, when I was on the street, I excused my criminal behavior by saying,
if I didn't do it, someone else would agree or disagree.
And I'm like, man, I wasn't on the street.
That's what I said. In the streets. In the streets. When I was in the streets, i wasn't on the street that's what i said in the streets in the streets
when i was in the streets i wasn't in the streets you this is this is the pamphlet that you should
give to one of those kids from the wire who's been like running fucking crack up and down the
street his whole little life i've still got that booklet in there somewhere it's good stuff yeah
it's good you know i'm not sure if that's bad teaching to help them know
what the answers are. Take away the
drug thing. Make it your driver's test.
If I'm teaching driver's ed and I'm like,
you know what? This school bus
thing is going to be on there. You guys look at that.
It's five points. That's probably
a test question. Five points for passing
a school bus. It might be that. I don't know.
Is that bad teaching
or is that a point that really drills
home even though it helps them on the test no i think you're right like especially for something
like a driver's test where you're not really you're not trying to set a barrier of qualification
like a doctor or attorney you're trying to make sure everyone understands the basics for safety
it's like you don't want to fool that guy and be like oh actually you can follow two
feet behind and it's not considered tailgating i totally tricked him it's supposed to be 10 feet
it's like no you don't want to do that like you want to drill in their head safety whereas if it
was like all right time for the orthopedic surgeon exam oops i dropped the answer key everyone and
i'm leaving the class that's a disaster you can can't have that. What kind of surgeon would you want to be, Taylor?
Ooh, someone who helped knees or mobility.
Someone who fucked up.
Orthopedic sports?
Yeah, someone who had low quality of life.
Fixing Yagmir's knees.
Fixing Yagmir's knees, or even someone who's like...
No, I had a different name.
Yagmir. Is that a person? No no i had a different name yagmir is that
no it's yarmir you mixed them both up but uh so someone like pretty good like if woody who lives
the most active life imaginable hurt his leg and had to live like six months without it and then i
was a surgeon and i could be like i could like bring all the all the happiness back into this
guy's life just bring fix his knee and now he's – that would be a satisfying one.
I'm with you on that.
I wonder if there's a way to be an orthopedic surgeon like you described
and avoid old people.
I'm an orthopedic surgeon, but only for cool people.
I think we have a –
Maybe there's like a sports medicine qualifier.
Maybe you could take some prerequisites or something.
You could be – because that's what I would want.
I wouldn't want to work on the old people because, A, it's sad.
B, it's yucky.
And I don't know.
I think you fail a lot as an orthopedic surgeon for old people.
Like, no, no matter what I do to this hip, man, it's the surrounding tissues.
I'd have to build you a new body from scratch.
It's basically rubber bands
in there ma'am but if you're fixing some quarterback's knee imagine being the guy
who gave somebody an effective tommy john surgery and he goes and win the series and you're like
first of all let's go on every pamphlet i own yeah and second of all like that's my boy let's
fucking go look at that like you'd be pumped i think you both are kind of attracted to the idea
of improving lives it's one of the one of the things I didn't say it, but I was thinking of is delivering
babies because a lot of times when you're working in medicine, you're working with people on their
worst day and not the delivery babies, like really great time for these women, but it's not their
worst day. It ends with a big win. You know, this is a happy day for them. On the other hand,
with a big win. This is a happy day for them. On the other hand,
even if I do remove that freaking
blood clot from your lung,
it's not like, man, today worked out great.
No,
it's still a bad day.
It's like, oh, well, I'm still going to die?
Oh, yes.
Yes, and soon, sir.
But we just bought you another two months of intense
panic. Well, look how cool this looks. I got it out
in one piece. Like a little upside down bloody piece.
I can do that great
as a surgeon because I get those big pieces of
crab out in one piece. I'm pulling blood clots out
snake in them.
Not only is
plastic attractive, Woody,
I'm thinking of Nip Tuck, that show.
I'm using
that as what it's like to be a plastic surgeon
in my mind. that is the best
plastic surgeon because all they did was like fuck beautiful women and put cool titties in like like
and and make faces better and stuff i didn't watch nip tuck but uh oh it's really good is it
it's it's one of those fx shows from the early 2000s that's trying to push the cable boundaries.
And so it's filthy.
There's tons of sex.
There's tons of gore.
And it's two plastic surgeons.
One of them is like,
his hands have been blessed by God, basically.
He is the best surgeon.
Just nobody knows it
because they're so underground.
And the other one is like,
playboy, big dick, wanting to to fuck ladies but still quite talented and they have a partnership together in miami which is like the
second rate place for plastic surgeons you want to be in la if you're big league so they're they're
running this thing in miami and they get mixed up with a cartel member they give him a new face
he like forces them to to alter his appearance
and then the ball gets rolling and suddenly there's like serial killers like why did you
fucking make me asian it's it's fucked dude there's a lot of like really
rough stuff that goes on being mutilated the only the nice thing is they can absolutely
mutilate a main character and then johnny jesus hands can come in and like work his magic and fix
those burns i'm watching the good doctor um the medical part of it is so inaccurate that even
someone who doesn't know anything about medicine catches it they are constantly like nicking an artery and causing people to crash gosh darn like 80 of the time this happens and also like the doctors don't
seem to have any specialties there's one guy who's a plastic surgeon but you'll routinely
catch him like pulling out gallbladders or performing neurosurgery or cardiac surgery
what do you need before? They do anything. Give it the old college cry.
You get this guy who's
a neurosurgeon. He's delivering babies
and shit. I'm like, do you guys
the fuck? Yeah, you want a specialist
if he's going in your brain.
I wanted to add one more thing. The other great thing about NipTuck,
every episode, at least,
they do one facial
surgery, and it looks
real.
They hit the music and like the three the two of them and their cool assistant go to work and and there's like poppy
uh music playing while they just give somebody a new face or new tits or whatever and uh i i might
i kind of want to re-watch it now it's good good fucking show highly recommend it it and the um
uh all that early fx stuff all that early fx stuff what's the show with chickless I kind of want to rewatch it now. It's a good fucking show. Highly recommend it.
All that early FX stuff.
What's the show with Chiklis?
The Shield.
The Shield. I've never seen a second of it,
but I know Michael Chiklis is in it.
Man, you should watch the first season or two of The Shield.
It's real good, too.
I started with Michael Chiklis being
the toughest guy in Baltimore, wherever it happened.
L.A.
L.A.? Okay.
Yeah.
This short, fat guy who probably can't climb a ladder without help is suddenly the most badass person in the city.
It's not always physicality, though.
I mean, it's more intimidation.
And I always thought you could appreciate him because the whole reason he becomes a dirty cop is because he has an autistic child and he's
trying to pay for that very expensive
specialist and stuff.
And so he becomes dirty.
That's the reason I became a male prostitute.
But then he has a second
autistic child.
We think that Amy's also autistic.
He's like, I'm going to have to sell so much more drugs now.
I'm going to have to kill so many Mexicans
to support this.
That's the part I like.
Whenever Joe Pesci is the toughest guy around
and you have to start making all these
excuses like, you don't understand.
He goes from 0 to 100 on the aggression meter
faster than
a fucking, give me random
strongman. The mountain does.
You're alone on this island, Woody.
Yeah.
He's not tough.
He's scary in the same way that
if there was a feral
raccoon in my house right now,
I can defeat that.
No matter how that conflict goes,
I'm going to win because it's a raccoon.
At the end of it, it'll be
dead if we're both going full force.
But if it sneaks up and bites
me when I'm sleeping because I don't realize it's
there, like, I have a huge
problem on my hands. Now I have to go get a rabies shot.
The situation isn't,
I don't know what hypothetical you imagine,
but it isn't that you know Joe Pesci
and you're scared of him. Like, you bump
at him at work every day and you're scared of him. That's not
it. Joe Pesci, the guy he stabbed in the face,
they just met.
That's the whole problem.
The problem is meeting him and underestimating him
and then he's not going to push you
and do that get in your face thing.
He might kneecap you
or he might just have two bigger goons
take you into a warehouse
and put your head in a vice.
He's scary because he's a sadistic monster because he's so violent because he wants to he's killed people before and he will
again he's tortured appreciate that but you know who else was ready to get violent a guy who just
had been fucking fed up and was gonna throw down kyle rittenhouse bagel boss bagel boss the guy
that we had on our show who really was upset he couldn't get any luck on tinder someone disrespected him
at the bagel store
that guy was furious
he went from 0 to 100
everybody laughed at him
0 to 60
if you would have stabbed those patrons in the
bagel shop with a pan
before he yelled if he gutted two men
if he like
he yelled first
he yelled after him isted two men if he like yelled first not i don't remember that
is there a little girl in here you hear a little girl there's a big man in the floor
but that yeah if he would have stabbed those that was it women behind him that were bullying him i
don't remember the bagel boss story honestly there were a couple grown men there okay if he would
have popped those grown men with a bick in the side of the neck like that meme like a big pen like like uh you know what he did do that we did think was funny he he was on
that date with the lady and then he just left her in that parking lot and drove away like see you
later honey like does a lap fakes a pickup and then leaves again that was was funny. I mean, that was pretty funny. I thought he died,
but he's not dead. I think
the death was just
classic fake news misinformation from the
internet. Zach says he is dead.
That can't be true. I thought he was
in a coma,
like a movie-style
coma-type thing
from a stroke or a brain bleed or something
crazy traumatic like that.
That's sad. Hope he's
out of it, unless he's dead, which Zach
says, in which case you don't come back from that.
His time is short, they say.
You did make a lot
of short runs. I was on
a roll that night. I must have had a roll or something.
I was on a roll.
Dude, I
enjoyed Sam Hyde's fucking character uh on the last episode yeah you did a good job
of making that work because woody and i were both like slow blinking like staring at him
even before you said it you're like he did a good job it went well i'm like i'm so thankful
taylor led that i i have my strengths and that's not one of them. I could not have had
that conversation.
Thank you. It's because I
like, I'm just a fan of
him and his comedy and so I try to play
into it, keep it going.
But like, oh man,
the outfits,
the costumes, the way he would
kind of, when he's like,
I kept the money.
I didn't give it to them.
I'm going to buy a Subaru RX.
Have you ever driven a Subaru WRX?
No, those are the really fast ones, right?
They used to be.
That car. I don't know what I'm new
in it is like. I don't know what they're doing now.
But it was the
scariest thing I ever had been in. It's all wheel drive and it was 300 and just over 300 horsepower something like that
uh and like it would just run circles around a mustang gt this is 2005 i don't know what they're
like now but this car this car came in on trade and had been modified, but it hadn't been modified in that really gaudy way.
That's just for show.
There was this like,
that's a fire extinguisher,
dude.
It's bolted to the wall there.
He's like,
yeah,
look up.
And it's like,
there's,
there's like gauges running up the column.
I was like,
does this car have nitrous?
He's like,
well,
there's empty,
but yeah,
let's take this car.
Let's go for a ride.
And he could drive better than I could.
And we went on these windy roads and I kept thinking it wasn't going to make the turn.
I was so scared because it just didn't feel like a car could make that turn at that speed.
We'd be, we'd only be going 40 sometimes, but it was like a 20 mile per hour curve. You know,
it was just eating the road up. It was impressive i think that maybe that's what baby driver drives in the movie baby driver he might one of the neat things about
the wrx sti like in its heyday ever see a car that's modified kind of stupid it has like gold
wheels and a wing that's like overly large that's how they came from the factory like all right i see what they did here i kind of
respect it usually the factory it's only a little more subtle yeah the wrx is one of those and i've
never had the car knowledge you guys have but like even in high school i had like i'd see those
or in college and in my head i'm like i know i'm supposed to i think these are supposed to be cool like like these
the person who's driving this around is like stoked on it and excited and then i was always
like that just looks ridiculous it looks like a toy uh a toy car yeah i don't i don't want to
drive one i don't think it looks cool camaro a mustang like so many other cars look way better
but the performance on those were fucking cool.
And then the Toyota
came out with another Supra
a couple years ago, and it's like really
expensive, but it's like
I don't think it has any balls.
It doesn't seem like it's that fast, and it doesn't even
look that good to me.
I was kind of into the idea of a
Supra.
It's kind of a legendary car
but they look like shit to me
oh there's the big boy
that's exactly what you're telling me I remember the gold rims now
yeah that's factory
that just doesn't look that cool
well I can appreciate if you have more class
like I get that
it's your burden but if you don't
then this is kind of neat
you know it's kind of neat
that Subaru did this this is something
that like you do yourself
so yeah
they were too bogged down with the lesbian
accusations they're like we got to go
full force in the other direction
what's the most different person
from a lesbian the kind of guy who drives
this and again I got
to admit until very recently
i thought subaru was an australian brand because every time i watched australian media they're like
yeah you're gonna take the suvi like they all had subarus i guess they're super popular there
and um they also used to do they had a car called the subaru outback yeah they still do and it was
like australian themed and i just got it into my head as a kid that like yeah that's the australian cars aren't they japanese yeah yeah yeah they're also popular in the snowy area very
japanese like in ski slope areas subarus do well because they're all i think every one of them is
all-wheel drive and then when you're coming up that hill in killington and your car your wheels
were doing 60 and your car was doing 5. That's not really what happened.
There was some sort of traction control that stopped the wheels from going fast.
So I just floored it.
And it limited me to like 5 miles an hour.
What kind of car was this?
Some shitty car.
The cheapest rental they had, Taylor.
He slapped $5 on the table
and went, I'm going up a mountain.
Well, we've
got a Chevy Blazer that we removed basic
features from.
No AC, no radio.
I don't think I had any choice.
I know that I didn't get the flight I wanted. I was supposed
to fly into the Killington
Airport, but the snow was too bad.
So I scrambled and rented a car yeah
there was i don't know if it was multiple feet of snow but there was like this much fucking snow it
was really deep um i was i miss snowmobiling you guys all went snowmobiling while i was still
trying to get there wait we've talked about this before but that snowmobiling was
bullshit i don't i have no concept
of what it cost so it couldn't have been that much but it was like a guided tour or something
like there's a leader in the front keeping you slow the whole time and you're like putting around
on this snowmobile that clearly is a machine that'll do you want to fly it'll do cool shit
but you're going walking speed there was one moment fun, the whole snowmobiling thing.
And that's when we went up a steep hill and then down it.
And at the top, I stayed.
I let everybody get so fucking far ahead that I could gun it down this hill and ride it out.
You did not miss anything.
That was bullshit.
Yes, that was so stupid.
That was like a trip that was made for general audiences.
So the thing never got above 10 miles an hour or something.
I mean, being on a snowmobile was interesting,
but that died out after about five minutes.
I don't want to go slowly on a snowmobile.
I want to whip it around.
It'd be like going slow on a jet ski.
That defeats the whole purpose. You're supposed to having being carefree enjoying nature having fun it was just
like one of those horse and it was nighttime too so we didn't see shit you know it's oh that sucks
why why why you did they not have pictures on the website or i'm gonna go with the flow kind
of guy somebody says snowmobiles and i get in the car you know i mean yeah did harley pay for it all uh i paid for it okay you said you had no idea what it costs i thought maybe you
didn't no i'm just irresponsible all right that checks out no i'm just saying i don't remember
so it couldn't have been a great sum of money um yeah probably probably a couple hundred bucks or
something um but no that that
was silly that that was not fun but but no i you know if everybody's getting the car to go somewhere
i just get in i don't want to go skiing i got in the car and went you know like we're going i'll go
but um i thought you didn't end up skiing i skied for a little while until it got very painful
yeah i think you gave it a try but it just lasted a couple hours. It really hurts.
And also, you know, I don't know how to ski,
so I'm in the section where everybody's learning, learning.
You're on the greens.
People are falling everywhere.
They had some sort of like a moving walkway type thing to get you back up to the top of the hill, right?
A conveyor belt is what I mean to say.
Like at the airport, if I remember correctly correctly it's been a long time now yeah they only have those on like
the super not steep beginner ones where like it'll either be a conveyor belt or they'll have
like a rope that you hold and it pulls you back to the top now that i process it i can see why
it wore out his ankles so quickly though like imagine skiing down the hill and your technique
is bad so you're working harder than an experienced guy already.
And then he has to ski back up the hill.
Like, good luck with that.
If you would have had one good guy there who was teaching you actual good tips, not that it's complicated, just being like, hey, your ankles are pointing in right there.
That's going to cause a lot of pain later.
So I am anatomically incorrect for these ski boots. That's the problem.
When it was buckled onto
my feet, there was immediate pain in my
ankle. It's like that's pushing on bone.
It's like my ankle bone is sticking out
on the inside where your ankle bone sticks in.
Your boots are too small. This isn't a skiing problem.
I suspect there's a world with enough
time, money, and motivation that you could enjoy
skiing. I would just snowboard because then I can just wear some Timberlands.
That seems like the way.
If I told you I stopped chopping trees because it was just too exhausting and I was hurting myself, and you're like, why?
And I'm like, well, I'm throwing the rocks at it all day.
My shoulder's thrown out. My core, my hands are bloody. And you're like, you're not supposed to throw rocks at it all day. I can't. My shoulder's thrown out.
My core, my hands are bloody.
And you're like, you're not supposed to throw rocks at it, champ.
And I'm like, at this point, who's to say?
No, you just got bad boots.
And if you got good boots, you'd be out there and you'd be like,
oh, I get why people do this now because it's not excruciating.
I don't have missing skin patches on my ankle.
I do think that sports where you fall down a lot
are a little tougher to learn at almost 40 than 12.
Indeed.
That is fair.
Yeah.
I also don't have any interest.
You don't like going fast?
Yeah, but like for a skier to go fast,
look at all the things he has to bring to bear
he has to go find a mountain to climb okay then he's got to like get skis on and he pulls and it
better be snowy that day no no that's not the right kind of snow you idiot oh good we'll wait
and then and then gravity will let him go fast for a little while if he's very skilled and practiced.
Or get in a car and just go.
I'd rather get in a car.
I'd rather do Woody's thing.
I'd rather Woody dangle me beneath him.
Like, this is great!
It's so!
You'd have a good time on the first day if I picked you up.
I mean, how could you not? It would be fun to fly around yeah i i always hand them flights i'm sorry they're all about
the passengers fun that's how i was trained to do this right they can be very dull beginner
flights they can be acrobatic flights we're all getting upside down uh whatever the passenger
needs from it is what i give imagine Imagine Woody takes me up and starts slowly
cutting the rope.
You'd be like,
we're coming in on a tough landing.
Faking that you're going to crash.
I don't mess around with that.
No, that would be
shitty. Kyle just cut the rope mid-flight.
I don't know. He COVID'd me.
We're only 60 feet up and it's
water you should be fine i i just see it so much like like you know you stand at the edge of the
pool someone like pushes you but saves you right yeah yeah that's a harmless kind of fun joke
if we're at 3 500 feet and i pretend to cut your life support system. Can you imagine like,
like the post activity lunch that day,
both sitting and eating your Rubens and Kyle's just livid.
It's like,
I don't think we can even be friends anymore,
man.
Your idea is like bringing extra straps that I could cut.
Yeah.
Drop a handful of cord in his periphery.
Oh, no.
What was that?
That was the flight cord, Kyle.
I don't mean to alarm you, but is there a carabiner in your lap?
He's sprinkling me with gears and during the flight.
Another one fell?
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
That wouldn't bother me.
And my spider pouch opened.
I like pranks.
I like extreme pranks even.
And if I had a...
I saw one the other day where I think they just had a parachute and a bicycle.
And the two guys were tandem together, not touching, but with harnesses and rope.
And one of them was on the bike and the other was sort of on his back.
And he pedaled the bike down the hill and got enough
air. Then they took off and flew
over the canopy. It was ridiculous.
Using a bicycle as their
get up and go, whatever the fuck.
I do like when I see
para mixed with
weird stuff. Have you seen those
flying boats that just take off
and it's like, where are they going?
Wait, the ones that are up in the air
and they're only touching the water
with the fin?
Yeah, they've got a big parachute
above them and they start flying.
I think. I've seen the ones that have
a hang glider, the triangular rigid wing.
Yeah, and they can just
fly around. That's pretty cool.
How do they land?
I imagine if you get close to the water, you push it forward so that you sort of lose speed and gain altitude.
But you just trade speed for altitude and they land safely.
Yeah.
So I'm not really interested in learning to ski.
And the one time I went, I think that's the only time I've went.
It was just very painful.
The best part is I went and bought all this expensive ski gear.
I've still got those socks, though.
I mean, they're warm.
You bought skis?
Not skis.
I bought the outfit.
He's from Georgia.
So he didn't have Vermont-level coats, socks, pants, jacket.
Coats and jacket, yeah.
Yeah, I bought the outfit.
So every layer. Did you buy it at the slope?
No, I went to
a mountaineering supply place
somewhere else.
I've been to REI before.
They helped me with my climbing rig
when we did a helicopter thing one time
because I had no concept.
I explained to them what I was going to do.
I was like, I'm going to be dangled underneath the helicopter. I need you to tie the knots here.
Give me the harness that fits me
that I can't get spilled out of. Give me the rope that I can trust with my life
and tie it to this. They did all that for me. They dangled me. They had an
apparatus where they could have me dangling in midair.
If you were upside down, would the harness stay on fine i probably could have wiggled out on purpose you know if i'd
started like doing the worm but i feel like if i just bent my knees um and sort of you know spread
my thighs and like made myself big in the harness try to be like oj putting on that glove then i i
i don't think i could have been spilled out.
Because I turned upside down.
Yeah, I think I turned upside
down in the video.
I should have turned
upside down with the gun and shot something.
It would have been tight.
By flying stuff, you can't get out.
It's like a backpack that also straps around
your legs and the straps that go over your shoulders
connect at your chest so So they can't go.
Why you're in there.
There's no there's no falling out.
And that's what my tandem gear is like, too.
But I have other stuff like I did some roofing.
So I bought like a roofing harness that goes around my legs.
I'm like, what happens if I'm upside down?
I just slip right out of this baby or at least wiggle out of it.
Not every harness I have upside down proof.
I feel like that on some of
the rides at Six Flags.
It wasn't until I went back
as an adult and I got in
that I realized I could
get out of this.
That just happened.
Which one?
The kid is dangling. It's one of the rides that
pulls you straight up. There's a ring of seats
on a central pole. Those are the
dumbest rides.
Hard to disagree.
Acrophobia at Six Flags over Georgia.
Go do it.
It's the scariest ride by far for me anyway.
My heart just falls out of my chest every time.
It's so many G-forces.
But today I saw a kid falls out of his harness and he's hanging on by just his hands.
And so they have two mechanisms to lower the ring down.
Fast as fuck, like the ride goes, or so slow.
And so they're bringing him down so slow while he's hanging on.
I was...
Was he okay?
I didn't...
The video ends before he gets to the ground.
I don't know.
It's a terrible video.
Someone's filming that and they're like, I got the gist.
I don't know if It's a terrible video. Someone's filming that and they're like, I got the gist. I don't know if they still have this
ride, but you've seen the ones where
they spin you really quick
and then the floor drops and then you kind of
suction to the walls. Cool.
Well, it was that, except it went up in the air
and kind of tilted.
You don't just stay on the floor, but
it tilts you up to like 100, 150
feet up in the air. Kind of cool.
It's an open roof.
The only thing keeping you in there is good judgment.
If you wanted to climb up the wall and fly out of this ride, you could.
Somebody did.
I'm like, you can't have a ride where you're counting on everyone to have good judgment.
Did he die?
Yes.
That's unsurprising.
Those are just the worst rides.
Just do a regular roller coaster.
I think those are the best rides and activities.
Okay.
I like when, like with the ziplining thing, they gave us some little brief,
this is how everything works and everything,
and then we went and did it.
And there were times when we were doing it
where if we did it wrong,
we'd have been grievously injured or killed.
You could have chosen at any time to unclip
or to clip poorly or to stick your hands in that in the end of that wheel like i did
oh did you hurt your hand i didn't hurt it but i could have like you were just a reaction time
away from getting really hurt i i stuck it in there i i reached out you're supposed to um
supposed to reach behind the wheel and put pressure there
and i think i panicked or something and got scared and stuck my hand into the inner workings of that
wheel and it like grabbed the glove and i pulled my hand out and the glove was still there so i
could reach up with the gloved hand and like jerk the glove out and put it back on my hand and then
come you know be like well that was stupid all right was none of all right no more of that learned no more of that
yeah no the thrill rides that just spin you or drop you you wait almost as long to ride those
as a full-length roller coaster which is like like like paying the price to see a whole movie
but for like a two minute Pixar short,
whereas like you could go,
you could on a real roller coaster,
you can see how fast you're going.
They spin you,
they throw you around.
You're having a blast.
The other,
cause I've done the tower of terror,
like in similar rides to that,
where they take you up and drop you.
At least tower of terror had like a fun theme to it.
The ones you're talking about,
like the one I did,
it was the same thing you're saying,
but it was called like the Superman.
Maybe it was a Cedar point where I did it where it just takes you up spins you a
little bit in those things like slowly spins you as you go up and then it drops you and then it
like cushions the fall shoots you back up to you yeah it's outdoors those are more fun outdoors in
my opinion like haunted tower of terror which we're talking about the mgm ride yeah yeah yeah
i don't like it because it's indoors it
doesn't have the same vibe to me i don't feel the height in the same way yeah you need to be able to
see your surroundings to get a feel for how fast you're moving on a roller coaster for it to be
fun that's why the fuck what is space mountain that's why space mountain isn't that great in
disney world has the potential to be good but it's indoors and so so much of it you're just in
blackness kind of feeling the wind on your face.
I hard disagree.
So, I'm a bit of a Space Mountain expert.
I've been on it.
Oh, okay.
300 times.
I don't even know.
Like, something like that.
And as a child, I went to Disney World like 70 times.
I didn't even want to go at this point.
Back on topic,
that Space Mountain is a terrible, lame children's
roller coaster made passable
by the fact that you're blinded.
If you could see what you were doing and what was
coming, that ride would be so
tame no one would know about it.
Yeah, I don't like stuff like that. I hate the
spinning stuff. It makes me sick. I love
the droppy stuff, that Acrophobia ride,
because it tilts you forward and then rushes you toward the pavement i'm 200 feet up it's fucking fun uh i love all the roller
coasters but i do like the indoor blackout ride there's like a a haunted swamp or something they
have here in six flags and you just get in it's like you're in a car with just one other person
and you're taking this slow ride through a indoor river with animatronics like freaking out and like glow it.
And then it gets scary and all their eyes start glowing red.
And then it's and they spray steam and not steam like mist at you and shit like that.
So we go in there with a one hitter, chill them, if you will.
And and I had like a bottle of ground up weed and so you take the
chill them and mash it down to the bottom of the bottle and it's loaded up and we'd hit that thing
and bobby pin clean clear it and i'm like a fucking virtuoso at that process at that at this
time i can really and we get high as fuck on that ride when we come out on the other side and the
crocodile's eyes start glowing and the big tree starts reaching for you it's fucking great it's
funny if i smell cigarettes in public i'm like how dare they if i smell pot in public i'm like
i know what you're doing you're smoking weed at the roller coaster park
i'm not gonna say anything but just so i know that i think you're funny meanwhile all the employees
of the roller of six flags they're high too so I know that I think you're funny. Meanwhile, all the employees of Six Flags, they're high too.
It's really dangerous.
You know what we're not talking about that's underrated?
Water parks.
Water parks are – there's hardcore roller coasters, probably more dangerous.
I bet my bottom dollar that there are more injuries at water parks per customer
than there are at a place like Six Flags.
Whitewater in Atlanta is very good.
It's partnered with Six Flags. Whitewater in Atlanta is very good.
It's partnered with Six Flags.
It's the same company.
So they have a pretty extreme water park.
I've been three or four times.
Whenever I'm looking good enough, I'll go.
But I went as a kid.
I've said many times, we went the weekend after a kid shit in the pool and gave a bunch of people...
Ew.
E. coli?
E. coli, yes.
Poisoned a bunch of kids.
Lots of people got violently ill.
Was it diarrhea?
Diarrhea, yeah.
I remember listening to the radio.
Some kid took a huge dump in the pool
in Whitewater, Atlanta.
My dad was like, you know,
if you go next weekend when they open back up,
not only will nobody be there,
but it'll be the cleanest that place has ever been.
And we went, and sure enough,
you could smell the bleach from a mile away
and the chlorine.
And that place was pretty fucking extreme.
And I've been to, in Florida,
I've been to a couple of them.
I don't remember their names,
but those steep slides are intimidating um if it's a tube um i don't you don't care because
you can't really see what's happening and you know you can't fly out of this thing in a freak
accident slides are a ripoff for the same reason as space mountain you can't even see how fast
you're going i'm on the other side they do stuff on the inside of the tube so it's like black and white it's like drilled holes so it's like disco shit going on and and i liked
i like the dark ones i think it adds a little extra fright um and the only problem is i feel
like i can't protect myself like i don't know what kind of scratchies i'm i'm flying over that's
true that's the biggest fear that there's just like a bolt sticking out three inches at your ass
yeah a bolt three inches three inches at your ass.
A bolt three inches, hopefully that's not there, although I agree with the fear.
But there is a realistic possibility that there's something scratchy.
Yeah, I'm afraid of that.
It's a big fear.
Yeah. At the end of the day in the water park, I'm sure it looks like I just got some girl with long fingernails from my back.
Yeah, so you just gotta a lot of them have
a lot of the rides have either a little inflatable or like one of those foam mats you get on i always
like those because they felt faster on that foam mat and then also i wasn't afraid of getting cut
the fuck up yeah but but those were some of the some of those were really intimidating you walk
you climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and the first part is
just a drop it's like man if i i don't do this just right i think i just roll off to the side
and fall is that 80 feet you see the person you're like shit so they touched at the top
then they went 14 feet not touching the water slide and then went you know caught it again
yeah this is for real the guy at the top is not taking it seriously enough he's just like
next go go oh yeah fuck i'll go like it's just not not paying attention just some
i thought you said go i said no yeah i said no yeah as an adult i don't want to go to a water
park there's something about it that seems gross now
that didn't seem gross when I was a kid.
I'm like, I don't want to swim with all these people.
One of the tube slides ends with a big curly,
round and round corkscrew,
and then it dumps you into a pool
that is way deeper than you would think it is.
And I'm just like...
I wasn't prepared to be four feet under instantly. you know, like down to the bottom of an eight
foot, 10 foot pool or something.
See, that sounds fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hated that part.
That was a scrap.
That was the scariest part of the day because you hit it fast and hard and you're not expecting
it.
I wasn't.
And so I really sank like a rock.
And then I was like, how deep did I go as As I'm like swimming back up, I can't tell.
I got on top and I was like gulping for air.
I read about this recently.
There's a water slide.
It's not in America.
It's like Australia or China or someplace really far.
And then they say men only.
And I'm like, men only?
What, women are pussies or something?
And this woman, she's a champion diver you know like cliff diver type person
and she's like i know it says men only but that doesn't apply to me i'm not scared
afterwards she's like do not do this ladies do not that i was mildly injured apparently it's a
very forceful kind of vaginal filling that you're not ready for at the base of this water slide.
And women just can't protect themselves from what's coming.
And it's a deal.
Oh, man, I just found it.
Water park forced to introduce men only slide after Brit suffered horrifying injuries at similar attraction.
World champion tiger tries male only slide.
Yeah, this is the same one.
How is my butthole okay?
And her pussy's not.
Near fatal injuries.
Man, the engineer that made this slide
was playing for keeps.
Masochist.
Or he just is like the biggest misogynist
ever. He's like,
Mr. Head Engineer,
why does there have to be a blast right here
every five seconds in the pussy area?
Because why do we even want him here? Keep it away. Engineer, why does there have to be a blast right here every five seconds in the pussy area?
Because why do we even want them here?
Keep it away.
For the boys.
I would ride a slide that's just for the boys.
If it's blasting water so forcefully that it's almost killing women via introduction of it to their vagina,
like, what keeps your ass safe?
You know the story of the world's tallest water uh water slide right i don't someone died on it and they shut it down it would be my guess
that seems like a logical thing yeah that's what happened all right oh damn here's a 41 minute
documentary if you're interested or you could just search world's tallest water slide tragedy
on youtube and probably find some more condensed material.
But yeah, if I remember correctly,
this guy was like,
I want the world's tallest water slide.
And they kind of warned him like,
no, it's too big.
And he made it anyway and the kid died.
Schlitterbahn.
Oh, it killed a Missouri boy.
168 foot tall.
168. That 168 that's bananas
it's so high
it's too much
there was a place called
Action Park it was so
dangerous like the rides weren't that extreme
they just like ignored all the safety
precautions you remember the movie right
I think I watched that movie yeah
but I've been to it I was a
kid when it was open I might have watched Action movie, yeah, but I've been to it. I was a kid when it was
open. I might have watched Action
Park with you. Oh, could be.
Yeah, that
was crazy that that actually existed.
He just wasn't afraid of getting sued, I guess.
Yeah.
I still think it's good.
I like that guy.
Negligent
homicidal ways.
You guys ready to wrap?
Yeah. I think it's dinner time.
Yeah, me too. Alright, PKN 515.