Transcript
Discussion (0)
We're live. I click start.
It just happened.
Alright, so tell your joke. You're all ready to go.
Oh, shit. You know, I should be more ready.
Oh, jumped the gun, did we?
I feel like you set me up for failure.
Of course I did.
Alright, wait, wait, wait, wait. I might have one ready to go.
Two men want to get drunk, but they only have $10 with them.
The first guy turns to his friend and says,
I have an idea. Let's go to the deli and
buy a salami. The friend's confused, but
he goes along with the plan. They head to the deli,
they buy a salami,
and finally they head to the bar.
They start drinking beer after beer,
and before they can pay their tab,
the first guy places the salami between
his legs and says, here, suck on the
salami, and they'll kick us out before we can
pay. The friend complies, and sure enough, the two get kicked out of the bar.
They laugh and they celebrate.
The plan was a success, and they continued this routine from one bar to another and to
another.
Each time they required to pay the tab, the friend took out the salami, and the second
guy bobbed his head on it, immediately getting them removed from the bar's premises.
After the last bar hopping, the second friend became hungry and said oh man all these
beers had me starring where's the salami I want to eat and the friend says I
don't know man I lost it at the first bar I didn't see that coming I didn't
either how did he not notice that his own penis was being removed from his
pants and and suckled upon I think he knew i think it was the fact
the other guy didn't notice that they had swapped out a salami with a cock either way i their their
ability to to discern cock from salami uh or or their inability yes you find the joke to be
unbelievable yes yes because he needs to have either a cock-shaped salami or a salami-shaped cock.
Well, I feel like they're both kind of cock-shaped, no?
I mean, the last time I saw an actual salami that you would buy at the store, it was enormous.
I mean, it was just a large thing.
That sounds about...
What is yours like?
That's big to you?
What, yours is not?
It's like what they start with
before they make a balloon animal.
Dude, the last
PKA was a huge hit.
I think it was
pretty good. We had a good time. A bunch of things contributed to that
being a good one, I think. It being live, of course, is what a lot of people will point to.
So that's a part of it, right? And there was stuff that evolved. Like, okay, remember how you asked
for receiving? Yes. When it happened, and I didn't put it together
until after the show, somebody
on the PKA
subreddit said,
look, I forget if
he worked there or had some experience or whatever,
but he's like, you want to ask for receiving.
And I read it, filed it away, and forgot
it. And then
while we're live streaming,
someone wrote in the chat, call k martin ask for
receiving and it kind of re-clicked with me i was like oh yeah let's do that so then that became the
thing like we called and we asked for receiving and that was the whole i'm standing there what
do you want from me you shut your cock hole could you get me a man like that whole thing happened because it was live, which is kind of cool.
Having said that, I've been DDoSed three times today.
Today.
I can't go live until we get that sorted out.
You know, I might have to go on another no Skype binge again or something.
I don't know.
It was really disappointing to me because I was like, oh, maybe we'll make live stuff more of a thing like maybe it'll come back and um but like my house
and woody craft have just been getting ddos like all day long and it was like son of a this is
sucks so yeah well i uh i enjoyed it i enjoyed doing that show i think there was a lot of fun
little times the prank calls i guess went went pretty well um everybody's saying like oh
every one of them was the best like i think that i think they were pretty good but and i think that
a couple of them stood out definitely i really liked fucking with t martin or or fucking with
the crowd in relation to t martin um that that was neat i like that one a lot you know what makes me
proud so you are our best prank caller right um? Taylor is also very good, maybe more experienced, and he threatens for that title.
But the core of it is I'm not.
I don't know.
Whatever.
I just don't seem to have those produce pussy or shut your cock holster moments, right?
I thought that Justin and the game theory guy, I thought that went pretty well.
That'll be a highlight.
And the game theory guy, I thought that went pretty well.
That'll be a highlight.
But the T-Mart one, I played a big role in that.
I called T-Mart the before and after calls.
I called the middle one.
I was on camera.
I thought I faked it horribly.
You faked it well.
That's what I think you did well in that regard,
is that you pulled off concerned Woody well enough that nobody doubted you at all.
And Taylor had your back in that regard.
I thought I sucked.
No knock on Taylor.
It's okay, Woody.
I thought Taylor sucked.
I thought we didn't act well at all. I'm looking at me like cracking smiles.
Chiz thought I sucked.
I talked to him about it i
watched it again today i thought you sold it well like like what and you were like do you think he's
hurt or something and taylor's like well and at first he's like gonna go down to like yeah yeah
what do i do i think it's real bad but instead he's like nah i mean he's a rich guy yeah that's
what he's rich it's okay to rob him. Knock yourself out. He'll be fine.
Distributing a little wealth there.
That's what we just observed here, ladies and gentlemen.
I thought that my... What happened, I ran upstairs and I
was talking to my girlfriend. I was like,
we're going to do this thing and blah, blah, blah.
She had South Park playing pretty loud. Then you called.
I was like, oh shit, I can't be in this room when I answered.
I'm sprinting through the house.
I'm like...
I hadn't even really thought what i was gonna say it's like
dude so then i called a second time and i was concerned that either it would say hey this is
kyle martin etc etc or it would say your phone number. Like, you know, this phone number doesn't have a voicemail set up.
Neither of those were good for me.
And I feel like, I just, through luck,
I think it rang like three or four times,
like enough that the voicemail might start to pick up.
And I ended it and I was like, ah, no answer.
And then it like, yeah, a lot of people bought it.
And oh, and here's one of my favorite things.
So we played a bunch of pranks on our audience, right?
The first prank was that Wings died.
And that went over really well.
People had a fun time with it.
My favorite, favorite is the guy who made the video about how sad he was.
He tried to kill himself by jumping off a two and a half foot bridge.
Do you remember that guy?
Oh, it was great.
Dude, we could consider watching it
right now. But that guy made a
great, great video about the emotions he went
through as he found out. Oh, yes, yes. I remember that.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
And he was just naturally funny and stuff. He did a
really good job. That Wings prank was
awesome. But then every prank
afterwards, we were just assholes.
All the way from like, hey, we got this great Nvidia sponsorship sorry wings you didn't come
you don't get it to they got trying to remember some of the other ones but they
they just hated us about everything we did until this prank which for whatever
reason was fun again yeah it makes me really happy I thought I typed you I was
like let's do this let's do this and you're like yeah yeah and then the rest of it the rest of the game was all like I
don't know it's pretty good idea let's try it out
he's Taylor it was just three of us right I think she's even chimed in and
like did the thing oh maybe he did oh yeah either carrot yeah so they get I
was like no I didn't I don't know why I didn't like the idea I thought it just wouldn't be funny or wouldn't work or something the only thing that i worried about
was it was a little bit hard to pull off it required complete coordination you know i had
to like ah yeah i gotta go to the bathroom i had to disappear of course which is suspicious to
begin with because that's when the call takes place and so you have to you have to be like
oh hey let's let's call taylor and make everything has to be smooth it requires some acting on your part and taylor's part and then i have to come back and act all oh lordy
lordy what happened here surprise so you know it went great i i did i have three highlights i've
uploaded two of them as we record this there'll be a third one probably thursday or friday i don't
know because tomorrow's that woody wednesday thing i've been doing and uh and it's like yeah I'm gonna upload those separately maybe people who are put off by like the the looking for
a better word than workload but like the workload of watching pka for four hours might be turned on
by you know a five ten minute highlight so yeah I I like that idea I saw you did that um yesterday
and I was gonna text you and then I saw like right as I was you did that yesterday, and I was going to text you,
and then I saw right as I was texting you, you put up another one.
I was like, he knows the score.
This is the way to do it, and for exactly the reasons you just said.
Four hours is kind of a huge task.
It's hard to chip away at that, and it's hard to get into that if you're a new viewer.
But in 10-minute chunks, you can be like,
all right, let me see what this thing's all about.
Oh, okay.
And of course, that 10 minutes is a best-of portion.
But I feel like every show has a couple of those in it probably.
I was watching, there's a RTAA, Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures.
And they linked it on our subreddit because the guy was talking about
having a bad experience with a contractor.
And I listened to it.
And I don't know the guys at Rooster Teeth at all.
Like, I don't think I've ever talked to any of them or seen them at an event or anything.
But they seem like nice enough guys.
Like, I have no issues with them.
I never hear about them beating up any puppies.
Yeah.
I even like them for someone who doesn't follow super closely.
Like, everything I see of them seems like they're good guys and they're professionals and you know they're you know i maybe someday pka
follows in their footsteps to movies and all that stuff but they they just seem to be all good and
no bad so that's cool but i watched their artsy their animated adventure and i was like you know
that story what i feel like ours are every bit as good.
You know, like we hit shit like ours better.
You know, the teacher who couldn't see yellow was just way better than that story.
That show was great.
Yeah, I feel like if we went and, you know, there are a lot of them already out there.
There's like the best of our stories and some of them them are animated i feel like we got that little catalog together
and made volume one i feel like it we've got we've got 22 minutes of hilarity absolutely
easily easily i feel like we do several episodes like that because uh i don't know just there's a
bunch of really funny stories that lend themselves well to animation,
like the poop stories.
Yeah, every so often.
I stepped away on a recent episode, and to fill the gap,
I was asking Taylor to tell a story,
and he had that poop story about shitting in his girlfriend's foyer,
and the mother comes home early and discovers the floor covered in shit,
and it's just like the most face-reddening,
embarrassing moment of all time.
And there's been a bunch of those like that,
that are good stories, that are funny animated.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I had something else to say.
Animated stories.
The Rape Squad Killers one, to be honest,
I've never thought was...
I always thought it was...
One out of a ten,
I always thought of it as like a seven.
Because, I mean, to me, where you really...
To me, the things that make prank phone calls funny
is when you get something out of the other person.
It's not what the caller does.
It's what you can extract out of the callee.
And so, like, when I had that lady, like,
going from annoyed to respectful to,
oh, it's going to be okay be okay it's gonna be all right little
billy's gonna be able to play like i gotta think so i don't know if it's true because i haven't
listened carefully but apparently you never mentioned the game name and she's telling you
she doesn't actually get the game so they don't have an electronics department in kmart anymore
so maybe that's what it is because i was was like, how does she know which game?
I thought she was saying she wasn't
getting Call of Duty.
Yeah, I think
a lot of the Kmarts around the country
in certain areas have just cut their electronics
department because that requires a lot of
upkeep maybe and, you know, overturn.
I know the last time I actually physically
went into a Kmart, it
really did look like a third world country or something.
Normally when you go into an American store,
the shelves are stocked full with some minor exceptions,
but usually there's a guy wearing a blue shirt going over there to fill that stuff in.
There were large sections of Kmart that were just bare.
There was three items,
and you could see that there were places for a dozen more. Where did where'd the rest of the stuff i haven't been in a kmart in
ages but i like sears i am always reading about how sears sucks how they're about to go out of
business they're just nothing but a real estate investment trust nowadays and stuff like that
like you can't find anyone who says positive stuff about sears. I heard that craftsman tools aren't good anymore.
Now, I have a full cabinet of craftsman tools,
and they're probably like maybe seven years old,
and I'm not sure when they became not good anymore.
Like, did I get in before?
Because I love mine.
Or do I have the ones that people say are crappy?
Because if that's the case, then I'm not seeing it.
But whenever I go to Sears, I'm like, I like this.
I don't know why everyone hates this place.
It seems good to me.
I don't know.
I haven't been to a Sears in a long time.
It seems like there's only one that I know of anymore,
and I haven't found myself there in a long, long time.
We park there.
I guess I know how to get to the other things in the mall
from sears and uh um also maybe this is a bad thing but there's usually parking in front of
sears so no one it's like a ghost you know it's the parking capital but also it goes from parking
straight to the tools and there's almost always some tool that like, like I bought it.
I bought a set of tools and I don't know what it had, like 1300 pieces in it or something.
Like it's pretty complete, but it didn't come with all the foot and a half long screwdrivers.
Like you only got one of those and there's a whole shit.
Did you get pry bars with it?
Cause you need this boy.
Yeah.
It's always like, yeah, I'm well stocked with sockets but not
the jumbo sockets you know my sockets stop at like an inch or an inch and a quarter or something
and then you need the inch through the right what if i got some oil rig shit to do so uh uh anyway
sears is always like some other thing that i need to like add so And the socket's true. Like there are things in tractors
and implements and stuff that are too big.
Or maybe it's not too big,
but I only have one of them
and I need to like do both sides and whatever.
I got my transmission
and transfer case came back today.
They're all completely repaired.
So I'm putting them into the truck tomorrow
and I'll be done with that.
That truck will be rolling again.
Yay.
Six grand worth of trannies.
Wow.
If I had spent six grand on the kind of trannies I prefer,
that's a lot of nice-looking ladyboys that I could have had
for the price of that fucking transmission.
I'm just, what a mess.
I read two things today.
One, it was about finance and stuff.
And it was about the importance of saving.
They're like, it's not how much money you make,
it's how much you keep.
And they were talking about how many Americans
make a good living but aren't worth anything.
Like this is the new class, the high income poor, right?
And you can probably think there's like lots and lots of people.
At Cisco, everyone seemed to be high-income poor, right?
All right, I'm going to be a douchebag.
P.K. Dan, back when he was with his first wife, high-income poor, right?
His wife was always like she didn't allow him to contribute to his retirement account.
And they were always on the bleeding edge of bullshit.
He's like, does my kid really, really need like an outdoor scaled down version of our house as a playhouse?
No, no, you're fucking get the kid a sliding board and whatever.
Like, you know, but she's like suddenly he wasn't a full great dad unless he provided this.
Keeping up with the Joneses over there.
Yeah, it was like, I don't know how to describe it, but like a dollhouse the kids can walk into. You've probably seen that kind of thing. And, you know,
he was, I don't know about now, but he was like the high-income poor, you know? He wasn't worth
anything, but he made a lot of money for a long time and just, you know, it was almost forced to
spend it. You know, he would have arguments like, honey, I want to put some money away into my
retirement. She's like, you'll work until you die. That's what you do. Stop being a baby. And it's like,
fucking sucks. So I read that about the high income poor today. And it's not how much you
earn. It's how much you keep and all that fun stuff. And then I also read that Ford is having
their largest sale on trucks since the great
recession.
They're giving essentially employee discounts out right now.
That's don't,
don't buy into that too much.
Oh,
tell me more.
You can negotiate better than like,
like when they would tell us that,
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
You get X plan or you get the,
they would explain just what it was.
I'd be like,
I sell trucks for below that.
Like,
like you telling me that the price you're going to give us
is above a price that we regularly negotiate and give to customers?
Like, that's lame.
Like, now if I want to buy one,
I'll just go to some other dealership and bargain.
But that was just my, because it's below,
you can negotiate below the invoice price.
And then I always wonder where that starts and stops.
Like, for example, let's say there's a $300 cash back from the factory.
Then you can like negotiate all, like that typically doesn't mean that the dealer just makes three grand more.
Did I say 300?
I meant three grand.
You know, like you negotiate them all the way down to whatever your number is, 29,000.
Yeah, the rebate has nothing to do with,
the rebate is between you and Ford Motor Company.
It has nothing to do with you and the local dealer.
Which is why I thought maybe this was between me and Ford,
and then the dealer could work further or something.
Well, if they're giving you the employee discount,
then it's just, it's like invoice plus a couple hundred dollars.
I don't know exactly how many.
There's like three different plans.
Two of them for sure.
And one of them was like $400 and the other one was like $300 profit.
But, I mean, it's a good deal.
I mean, if you negotiate, you could probably get $800 more.
I feel like I'm being stupid.
In the last seven days, I bet I've driven.
So, in my car, because I took Jackie's for a trip or two,
I bet I've driven less than 50 miles in the last week.
And if you throw in Jackie's, maybe that threatens 100.
That's... You know, maybe what you need is a nice rental car every now and then.
Right?
We rented a suburban uh
for this trip because we had seven pelican cases worth of camera gear and then my all my luggage
oh did you drive to texas no we flew to san antonio and rented a car and drove right san antonio
baldy um so we got a suburban and man i'd never been in a suburban not since i was a kid and my
fourth grade teacher had one
that thing is huge there's so much room in there and just I don't know it's got every all the
little options it had everything there could be you know in the back I'm adjusting my air
conditioning and these heated seats and everything I really enjoyed renting that thing and on the
last trip we had a we had an explorer like a sort of a top of the line Explorer. I've enjoyed renting nice cars a lot more than I've enjoyed owning them.
My brother has an Expedition.
If you guys don't know what that is, there's over time,
I don't know if they're still existing, but there were three sizes.
There was the Explorer, the, what's bigger than an Explorer?
There's the Escape, which is a small one, the Explorer,
and then the Expedition.
And there used to be the Excursion, which was the biggest...
That's what he has.
He has an Excursion.
He has an Excursion.
It's diesel.
It's leather.
And it has some aftermarket stuff like DVD players and both the headrests.
Is it the Eddie Bauer edition or the limited edition?
I'm not certain.
I don't want to get it wrong.
I think it might be the Eddie Bauer edition.
They have DVDs in the front seats of that car.
Like, it's really nice.
And then it's not a thing anymore,
but back in the day,
it was like, oh, I have satellite radio.
Really?
Which one did you choose?
Both.
Yeah.
That was a thing back then
because now they've converged into one.
But if you had both back then,
that would have been a next level.
Yeah.
I bet his wife picked that
out he did he commuted a lot he was like i've got an hour and a half or two hour commute and
you know it's 10 bucks a month extra and it means a lot to him so i don't remember what xm came with
that serious didn't have but i always wanted serious because that was stern um and uh and so
when they combined it just really made the decision a lot easier.
So he has, it's beautiful, it's nice and everything and they drive a lot of
places but I, so I was taking Hope driving and coming toward us was a Ford
F250 and it's that so nice like tall and it looks so good I was like I want to be
that. I wish I was that. that's it and i don't have
better reasoning every so often i have to tow something heavy you don't need better reasoning
than that like like your vehicle can be an aesthetic it doesn't have to be 100 utilitarian
i mean i i got my car because i i like fast cars and you can get a lot of pussy just real easy when you've got a nice car
like that. You can literally ask
a girl to hop in and like
half the time she just fucking will.
Can I interrupt you?
So our neighbor
in Apex
before we moved and actually she
moved too so whatever but she saw
your car and she's like that is
hot. And you wouldn't reciprocate.
She's probably over 50.
Oh, it doesn't bother me.
She's over 50, but her eyesight's fine.
And that's what we're talking about.
Let's go.
So, but she was like, yeah, like, like, like your car got her motor revving.
And Jackie and I were like, that happens in real life?
Like she did not give a crap.
I think I had a motorcycle when I met her.
But after that, it was a Cavalier station wagon.
That's the least sexy car in the world.
Not all girls are going to be car people.
You never know.
Exactly.
Good call.
Not all girls respond in the same way. I remember the first time that
the redhead
that you know that came on some trips with us.
First time she got in there with me
she was like, I'm being
W's faster than this so I have to
paddle shifting.
Is it faster now?
Is it faster now?
Being a real asshole. So she wasn't
blown away by it or anything but then like there have
been other girls who sat in there who were just like oh my god now she was a car person right
she's the one with the four-wheel drive yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um but other girls have you know
it's been an absolute aphrodisiac so you never know but but yeah that's a thing but what i was
getting at is you know you can just if you like this because if you like a
ford raptor you don't have to be like doing like off-road racing in your spare time or anything
you can just feel like you know i like how that thing fucking looks and just because i don't take
advantage of its 18 000 pounds of towing power on a regular basis maybe i'll do that once in my life
i like knowing that i could yeah like. I feel like you always want to justify
your want and your need for this thing,
but I don't know, man.
You've been toiling for a long time.
I've heard people say
you can't take money with you when you die,
but that's a silly thing to say, obviously,
because you've got people to look after for all time.
I don't know.
If I were you,
maybe get one of those big, nice trucks, and i don't know i if i were you maybe maybe maybe get
one of those big nice trucks and i don't think you'd ever want another one i feel like you'd
make that make that purchase once and you would baby that thing so much and you take such good
care of it that a brand new one today 80 year old woody would probably would probably at least have
it in the barn but here woody will have that thing in the barn. That's a realistic possibility too.
Like I think to myself,
how long do I keep a car?
Well, shit, I kept that beat up,
dented Tacoma for going on 13 years now.
When people say they keep a car for 20 years,
I say you are full of shit.
Hardly anyone does that.
But I very well may be the exception I I'll tell you the reason I replaced some of my last cars because they wore out you
know like that like um you know the cavaliers I mentioned I've taken two of those to 200,000 miles
and they were done at the time they just needed repairs that were more expensive than the car
200 grand on a cavalier that's its life yeah well at least i feel like nowadays cars i feel like a quarter million is
a number you might expect like you tell somebody yeah my dog turned 24 and i'll put it down they're
like yeah yeah good yeah i mean don't let him suffer anything yeah yeah i had a cavalier and
mind you i live in north carolina if that means anything it's hot i had a cavalier and mind you i live in north carolina if that means anything it's hot
i had a cavalier with no air conditioning and then um and then this is the air conditioning
was done and then the radiator was done and i wasn't mechanical at all like back in the day
and uh like just fluid is pouring everywhere and i got an estimate and it was like threatening
three thousand dollars and like but the car was worth
500 maybe i was like they're done they both went like that yeah i was hanging uh richard ryan you
know was at that shoot he did some slow-mo he's actually like we're in the video together yeah
that that's that was another part of the videos it's a me and a richard ryan team team up on my
channel but he's got an f-150 uh four-door and I don't know what year it was, but one of the things I liked about it is the rear sliding glass was seamless.
I liked how it worked.
It was completely seamless.
There was no bullshit back there.
I really liked how that looked.
So my opinion.
I guess it was a pretty new one.
I don't know.
I'm kind of stuck in the past.
I see like a 2008 F-250, and I'm like, that looks current.
That looks good.
And then I see what's like current and it's like, that shit's space-aged.
Oh, my God.
Like, that's what things are like.
There's a whole body style passed you by while you're working.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
Oh, remember when I said like, oh i'm serious i think i'm gonna get
this thing i was i called him the next working day whenever that was and uh it had been sold
before it's a week ago seven days ago now yeah eight days ago yeah i i call him the next morning
ready to go there and maybe even get it and uh it was sold before i got there he's like that thing is gone that's how he said
it i'm like oh so anyway that's the thing so pka was really good it's funny like when i make a
video i never i don't always know what's good or what's bad if it's something like i've made before
then i can assume i can get a good vibe for it but i finished pka and i really felt was like
drop the mic like i was pretty happy with how that went you know i'm just like yeah people are gonna like this everything is cool
so i like that yeah it got me motivated i was you know thinking a waste of money
whore and squeeze some more money out of those good thinking good thing yeah don't worry i'm
always on the back burner working on it i'm definitely the jew of the group like
maybe we only do one live show a month,
but you must pay to enter.
Yeah, I don't know.
I have to do something to justify, like,
all the DDoS protection that's going to have to come along
with a live show.
Like, we're going to have to consult NASA
to make this thing work.
I might switch.
There's another service.
I forget the name of it, but I have it installed
as of today. Stack.
Stack competes with Skype.
And
we could check it out. Maybe the quality
will be higher. I have never heard of Stack.
They're not competing well, but I am up for anything
and everything. See,
that's the perfect problem.
There was a time when I completely
got rid of Skype. And by the way, there's a corollary story to this, but I got rid of Skype
and I switched over to Google Hangouts. And while it stopped the DDoS problems I had,
it completely isolated me from the rest of like the YouTube community that I knew.
Like, I think I still talk to you and I still talk to Joe Lozon but most people
they just didn't leave Google Hangouts open
all the time. They might open it
just to talk to me.
I hated it. I hated it so much.
You had to keep your email open and I don't like keeping my
it got me into a couple of sticky situations
god damn it. People reading my
emails. It was just a real madhouse.
There's a better way. There's a plug-in.
That's part of why my last relationship fell apart.
I'm sorry.
No, there's a plug-in that makes it so you
don't have to keep that page open.
But it's just
the same. It's a problem.
But Stack is an app that
you can either use the webpage or you can download
it.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
And maybe that's the answer. I't know i i we got ddos
three times today and i think woody craft did too i think someone in my universe just got access to
a new booter and they're all excited about it and they're just booting everything they can find
i know um some of our competitors are having ddos issues too so they're competitors to woody craft
and i see them going down it's like this
guy's got a hammer and everything looks like a nail including my house fucker yeah so maybe we
can get that sorted out yeah yeah because i like doing the shows live and you know like we did if
we did them regularly or semi-regularly live we could have we could build up quite a live audience and when you have a live audience
You have a lot of power to direct them
Yeah, and I miss having that we need to fuck with a now gene or something
Oh, it's so fun to wield like we're three thousand like anything's like you know
You know say you got ten twelve thousand people on there if you get two or three thousand people to actually do a thing
simultaneously it's incredibly powerful little cripple most services dude we
would we've taken down Taco Bell Wendy's mag light maybe General Motors maybe do
we take down a car company like it's a lot And, you know, it's impossible to protect yourself from
because the way DDoS works is it figures out
which of these addresses is fake and ignores those.
Yeah.
None of these are fake.
All real.
They're all real.
You just suddenly got 5,000 people
intensely interested in your product.
And it looks great to your sponsors, too.
You know, you can send 10,000 people over there,
try out some new sunglasses. Wouldn't it be great if if like casper the mattress people are like all right are you sure
you have the infrastructure to advertise on pka because we're a pretty big fucking deal
we're gonna send a lot of people over there for mattresses to get ready
i know we sold a couple of those mattresses i saw saw people post images of them. And I'm going to get my next mattress from the pen,
as long as I continue to be a sponsor of the show and everything.
I think I'll do it over there.
It was either Gamma or Scuff.
But I told him, like, dude, you know,
prepare for some outages.
It happens after we advertise and stuff.
And they're like, no, that's not a problem.
He sent me a picture of his server rack, right?
I think six foot tall, filled with computers and shit. i can't tell what it is by looking at the cases but
he's awfully proud of it he had just upgraded took that shit down it was great yeah take everybody
down you can't mess with several thousand people doing something simultaneously nothing's really
very few systems are built to handle that sort of thing exactly right i'm sure we can't take down amazon or apple or yeah yeah any of the big ones that that are that are the
biggest of the big you know youtube obviously like like if you send an extra five million people to
youtube right now they would just enjoy it like yeah it would be a tickle there are some big
companies that don't necessarily have a great web presence like mcdonald's comes to mind right
how often do you go to the mcdonald's website not since your adolescent porn days right so you told a story
right oh now you remember yeah yeah you derail your history be like pepsi and uh anyway so i bet
a pka live stream could take somebody like mcdonald's down you'd think they'd be huge but
really they don't need to be that big you know they just don't get that much traffic so the uh one that i can
think is kind of an intermediate uh was is uh twitter you know they crashed twitter during the
oscars a couple years ago did they every now and then they do uh when there's like a really big
event or something like that whenever they had that they did that huge selfie with el generis
and like i don't know a dozen other a-listers and uh and that and Whenever they had that, they did that huge selfie with Ellen DeGeneres and like, I don't know, a dozen other A-listers
and they took Twitter down for a little while.
That was like incredibly,
I think that was a paid thing by Samsung.
I don't know if it was paid by Samsung
or if they just put the Samsung thing in the gift bags,
but there was some sort of sponsorship going on with Samsung.
And a lot of people felt like they got their money's worth exponentially
beyond what you typically would.
Yeah.
I've heard him discuss that,
uh,
both Ellen and Bradley Cooper after,
and they didn't mention that little tidbit.
Um,
so,
but whatever.
I thought it was pretty cool when they did it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, um, so yeah, I don't know. I'm pretty,'m pretty pretty happy that pka just worked out well it makes me feel good i recorded woody
wednesday today i'll edit it and make sure i hope i haven't looked at the footage yet but i hope
everything's ready for tomorrow uh talk about what's the topic uh i did two of them actually
i sometimes i do two in one day and then I'll have two weeks worth of footage to edit.
One was my three keys for happiness and success with an optional bonus fourth key.
And one was choosing a career.
So those are the things I talked about.
All week long, like I'll have some epiphany or whatever,
and I just write down a list of potential topics.
So hopefully it's all good.
I sit there and like look at the audio afterwards and stuff.
I don't want to say this because once you tell people things bother you,
you'll get that thing over and over and over again.
But they say it's cringy when I write on the card.
And I think I'm taking it too literally.
I think when someone says, oh, it's cringeworthy,
they just mean they don't like it or something. Whereas I'm says, oh, it's cringeworthy, they just mean they don't like it or something.
Whereas I'm like, do you know what cringeworthy means?
Like they actually cringe.
It gives them like a physical reaction to something.
Yeah, yeah.
And like, no, they're just saying that.
And when they write LOL, they're not really rolling on, or LMAO.
I think they're just making fun of your handwriting.
I tried to. so here's the
thing my handwriting is bad that's undeniable um but my handwriting is actually pretty legible if
i take time and draw it out but that's terrible for video like i'm writing on my lap with a marker
in a hurry and those things combine for some pretty bad handwriting and uh i was like this week i'm gonna step it up
but i pretty much didn't i was thinking of other ways to like write a thing without writing a thing
like like what if you did that thing where um when you like tore tore off the uh the tore off a part
it was revealed you know what i mean oh yeah yeah like do it with tape and everything and paint over it and then you rip off the negative you've got the i i wish i wish i had a good cameraman right if there was a
good cameraman i could walk over to the easel and do a thing and you'll like like move around and
and like whatever but i swear to you like even on a um tripod jackie would like jerk it too far and jerk it back and pull it
up and pull it down just so what happens is i i sit here in the chair and i get the framing about
right but we're different sizes and i might lean forward in a different way so she has to do the
last adjustment and it's important that i keep it together because if i'm a dick then nothing good comes
she's got she's got no tolerance for that at all she doesn't but she's she's not very good
at what she's doing and she's so incompetent incompetent beyond like like what you could
ever expect like i've read into this before you've got two issues you've got a an assistant
who is not very good at their job and And the problem is the assistant needs lots of correction and lots of help along the way,
but can tolerate none.
Like, I just, I don't know.
I wish I could better explain it.
Like, you know, I'm sitting there and the framing is from like here to four feet over my head.
And I'm like all right you know you
lower that and now my face is cutting too and it's like how did you get that so wrong and then she's
like hey is that good no no it's not my face is literally cutting too with this framing
honey are you doing that are you doing such a poor job because you
hope that i'll just ask you to leave is that what this is it's rough you know and um another thing
is it kind of takes two people right i think in her head she's like i'll press the button and my
job starts and stops there but in my head i'm like no like i'm adjusting the lighting for example i
use two lights if you just have one light shining straight on,
it doesn't look right.
So I kind of have two lights,
and that gets all the shadows off the face.
And it really helps to have a model sit there
while I do the lights.
If I just shine them, like one's bouncing off the ceiling,
one's kind of diffused toward the actor.
And I really need a model to sit there. And I feel like she's like, Oh,
you don't need me yet. You're still setting up. No setting up as part of the
job, you know? And, and despite the fact that it might be a 10 minute video,
this is like an hour long process.
I, uh, I definitely like having a cameraman when we film stuff,
a real cameraman who knows what he's doing.
Chad is excellent.
They'll be a part at the beginning.
He's like, hey, he'll either have me stand in,
or if there's extra help on hand, he'll have someone stand in
and get the focus right and just make sure the lighting is going to be right.
And as it changes throughout the day, he's constantly altering things.
So the color correction is going to be easy in the end.
Everything's going to match up and look the same.
He's a professional.
And I just know that if I, if it was, because otherwise what you have is like a camera holder, really,
and then you're going over to the camera and like tweaking it and changing the ISO
and making sure everything's going to look all right.
And no, no, no, no, frame me up like this.
When I stand, I want to be framed like this.
But when I sit, I need to be framed like that.
And yeah, take a step to your left and go to that angle.
That way, when I pull up my elbow, my face won't be obscured by my forearm.
Like these are things that my cameraman just knows and he already has done.
Yeah.
So it's funny.
Today I did a video talking about a job, you know, talking about picking a job.
And one of the things I threw in there was that, like, if you have no passion for this job, you'll never be good at it.
And there are some jobs that don't require passion, like cashier.
I don't have a long list that doesn't require any passion, but, you know, cashier, whatever.
You know, every cashier in America just, you better keep shopping at Amazon,
you son of a bitch.
Bring it.
You know, I wanted to say like HR representative.
Like it was in my head at the time,
but I'm like, no, you know,
maybe there's a lot more to that than I'm thinking.
But if you want to be any of these,
most good jobs require a lifestyle
of continuing professional education.
If you're a doctor, a nurse, an attorney, a computer programmer, an engineer, etc.,
you are signing up for a lifetime of CPE, continuing professional education.
If you have no passion for it, you'll fall behind your peers and you'll suck by comparison.
That describes Jackie's camera work, right?
She has no passion for it whatsoever.
You know, if I told her, honey, we were overexposed last week,
you know, let's address that.
She'll just be like, sounds like a Woody problem, you know?
And it is.
She's a button presser and that's what you get.
Richard was telling me he gets people,
he pays people by the hour when uh for editing and
for camera work a lot of the times um i don't know maybe you should look into that maybe if you get
some college student to come in for 50 bucks an afternoon and just and just hang on to that rig
and make sure everything's right and build a relationship with him all right that's what i
would attempt to do if i were you because you you really need an operator because you aren't given 100%
of you on the camera if a little
bit of you is over there wondering if
knowing that you're not able to
shift in your seat or change anything
about the way you're sitting because it won't
be taken care of
I don't know if you watch Woody Wednesday at all
but they're like okay so in the
first one the color correction was bad
I bet you don't know why it's because jackie stood in front of a light and it fucked everything up
and uh it actually like i had to adjust it and i adjusted i guess toward the wrong one or whatever
but um the start of it was okay and the end of it wasn't and i guess I made it all not okay so it would match because you can see her walk into the fucking like light source and that
mistake she won't do that again we've got a spot for her but um I don't know
it's uh I she's on board and we're same team and I like that but she just
doesn't have any passion for operating the camera.
And that prevents her from ever being.
Okay.
You can be honest.
She's not a Patreon.
I think I am honest.
She doesn't have any passion for it.
I'm just teasing.
Yeah.
That's,
you know,
when,
and,
and the back to the job thing,
like,
I feel like a lot of people just don't have passion for anything.
That's why I don't know what to do,
which is a tricky deal. i uh there's a lot that goes into being a cameraman
and i i always appreciate it greatly when i have one um whenever there's any you know every time
we do a shoot where maybe there's an extra guy present who has a job it's like oh now no one
has because usually like if there's an extra job to do like even if
it's just someone with a roll of duct tape like if he's there doing that then that means that none
of us have to do that it lightens every extra grip you've got on set is is really making a big
difference it seems up up to a point it's been silly before but help helps it really does yeah i just like yeah i don't
know jack there are as simple as woody wednesday looks there's a lot of things to get right about
it like there's there's a couple light sources there's two cameras there's tripods there's
batteries there's batteries for the little extra screen there's batteries for the cameras there's
two different cameras etc my backup over the shoulder camera had a dead battery
because it's hopes really.
And there I gave it to her and now I'm using it.
And that one, the battery was dead.
And Jackie's like, ah, you know,
if I had done that, you'd be so mad.
First of all, I'm not a monster.
Leave me alone.
This is not even true.
Second, you know, there's a lot of things to get right.
The fact that the backup camera's battery was down.
Did you even notice the batteries were fine in both mics and the camera and the audio interface?
There's a lot of stuff to get right.
And one went wrong and suddenly I'm silly.
But enough of that.
I hope the footage is good.
I hope the footage is good. I hope the footage is good.
I'll look forward to seeing it tomorrow.
I'm trying to think.
What other topics do I have to talk about?
Oh, have you heard about YouTube Red?
Yes.
I feel like everyone's talking about YouTube Red.
And it is clearly a good thing to me.
I think we might have talked about this once already we did we went
over it extensively yeah you did a particularly good job you were like take
a hardcore video watcher he watches maybe 400 videos a month like you have
to be really active and no way he gets 400 and advertising for somebody so yeah
yeah YouTube bread is gonna be a good thing for content creators.
It all comes down to where the money goes and how it's allocated.
That's why I have no opinion on this thing.
What they're basically saying is there's going to be an extra revenue stream,
and to that I say, how do I fit into this?
And that hasn't been meted out to at least not to the
to a real percentage point no one said you get x amount and we get y amount there's unless this
happens so apparently we're supposed to sign up and say our videos are eligible for red viewers
and i'm like all right where do i sign on this like i don't want my videos to start going private
because i'm a contract behind,
but I think that because I'm in a network,
suddenly that's a challenge or something.
Have you heard about that?
Yeah, yeah.
I need to ping my guy and see what the deal is.
We're kind of playing a waiting game over here as well, I think,
because we'll see what the network has to say about all this.
It may be a thing where none of the networks
are wanting to get on board with this.
I don't know.
I don't know. I'll do whatever
it takes to continue existing.
And that'll
be that. But I don't know if it's a good
thing or an awful thing.
I hope that things just aren't changed
too much in any way really
as long as it's not a bad thing i don't care doesn't matter we'll see i i am yeah i think i
like my network i've got a fair split so that much is good i um i'm a managed channel so that
much is good but when i signed up i was in in what I thought was the coolest network around. It was my first choice and I felt fortunate to get in.
Since then, I don't know if they've kept that.
A lot of the big hitters have moved to other places.
But then you don't know.
For example, Captain Sparkles was in mine.
And he left and went to somebody else's.
But someone like Captain Sparkles might be a loss leader for your network.
You know, like your network might even pay them more than they get just to have Captain Sparkles on the team.
He probably got a signing bonus to stay for a year or two.
And then that was up.
And then he went elsewhere and did something similar.
That could be.
Yeah.
where it did something similar.
That could be, yeah.
So just because PewDiePie is in that network doesn't mean it's the right choice for someone like me
who's not getting PewDiePie views.
Yeah, well, I like mine.
They come to us with a lot of different stuff,
and it's all kinds of crazy stuff.
It won't always be just the same video game thing or movie thing.
Like there'll be something for Totino's Pizza Rolls or something to pitch at.
I like pitching for those projects because I know that my pitch is going to be the most stupid one of the mix.
It's like, all right, we need a giant pizza roll cannon, first of all,
out of liquid nitrogen, and I'm going to need a guy dressed up cannon, first of all, out of liquid nitrogen.
And I'm going to need a guy dressed up as that cheetah from the Cheetos commercial.
All right.
You know, I like doing that.
That's also, it lines up well with your talent.
Like every now and then I came up with a video idea here and there that I thought was pretty cool or a variation of something that's not for me.
But mostly, like if I told you like hey i want to make
a music channel you'd be like oh well i got some ideas for a music channel so a parody channel i
see okay right it could be anything like i wanted if i told you i was doing a thing like um linus
tech tips i pronounced that right yeah yeah i did um i bet you'd be like oh yeah here's what you
need to do you need a fucking talking robot that's your assistant or or whatever like you'd be like oh yeah here's what you need to do you need a fucking talking robot
that's your assistant or or whatever i think you'd be good at that the text tip thing i think i think
that's kind of your bread and butter anyway like the maybe definitely maybe i feel like my
at least today like you say something that could come back and bite you but right now i'm like it
it hasn't captured my passion i feel like it'd beudgery, and there's so much to keep up with.
You're supposed to be an expert on every little consumer device that's coming out.
And unless you're like, oh, sweet, new phone.
I just think it would be easy because you already speak the language in most regards.
You're not going to read specs and be like, so what does actually mean again let me go ahead and brush up on that you're you you speak the
language already so it'd be really quick for you to brush up on those things i feel like a week's
worth of studying and by studying i mean like surfing amazon yeah and you'd be a virtual expert
in at least one corner of a tech field so you are an expert in guns um do you ever find yourself
i don't want to say picked on
i'm looking for a better nitpicked is a better one nitpicked by other people who are experts in guns
i usually try not to step out of my depth and try try not to do that do that thing like you say you
know either i'm either i'm right or i'm ignorant uh because a lot of times you know a question
will come up and i don't know the answer to it. Like, if we're talking about, what were we talking about the other day?
We're talking about artillery pieces and World War II artillery pieces and stuff.
And, like, I know a little bit about that stuff,
but certainly not enough to be an expert on anything like that.
I just kind of sit back and absorb in those conversations.
But when it's just, like, small arms, you know,
and especially, like, the common ones, modern ones,
I'm as much of an expert as anybody
who reads a lot of gun magazines i guess dude and do you have a i i know you i think you don't have
one a 20 millimeter looks really cool do you think it translates to cameras like it would if i had a
full round i've got the projectile somewhere but I don't even know where one is right now.
By comparison, just to put the.50 cal, the.50 BMG in metrics,
a.50 BMG is a 12.7 millimeter,
and that's how it compares to a 20 millimeter.
It's a much larger round.
20 millimeters is what the F-18 fighter jet shoots.
That 20 millimeter is the diameter.
Correct me if I get something wrong.
But I feel like
the move from 12 to 20 doesn't fully
demonstrate it.
I'm going to guess it's a roughly
quadruple the weight. Does that sound right-ish
to you, the projectile?
I don't know what the weight of a 20mm projectile is.
The weight of a.50 caliber projectile is going to be
somewhere around 650 to 750
grains. is the weight of a 50 caliber projectile is going to be somewhere around 650 to 750 grains i'm just googling 20 millimeter projectile weight
that itself will also vary quite a bit but you'll get a roundabout number because they make them
what would you say it was for 50 650 to 750 grains 750 grains. Okay. So this says 1543 grains.
Now, I don't know if it's all the same, but so call that 1600 grains.
And yours was, did you say 600?
Around 650 to 750.
All right.
So double to not quite triple.
So quadruple was a stretch, but double to not quite triple the size.
It's really big. Well well also you've got you
know how much propellant there is involved it's it's much much more propellant it's it's a much
much larger round you know it's one of them is supposed to be fired from a fighter jet to take
down another fighter jet and the other one is an anti-material rifle or a you know a heavy machine
gun uh round um it's a much bigger round round. I've shot a shoulder fired one before.
That's the one that hurt my shoulder.
And then for a year afterwards,
when I did this,
it made a clicking noise and hurt terribly.
Was it Richard Ryan's by chance?
No, he doesn't have one.
He has a.50 cal.
He shot one.
He shot one in a video.
Yeah, it had iron sights.
And I think it was tricky because he wanted to shoot something very accurately,
but it wasn't scoped.
And I'm not sure even if it was, if it would be accurate, like even from a vice.
I wonder who's he shot.
Yeah.
There aren't that many to shoot.
Really?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Richard Ryan shot one.
Like I would bet on it.
It was an Anzio Ironworks rifle?
I wouldn't know.
I thought it was really old, like from World War II.
Oh, he probably shot a, what is it, a Lottie or something like that?
Hang on, I'm trying to find.
Yeah, it was a Lottie.
That's what it was. Did it have a big magazine coming out the top? I think to find. Yeah, it was a lot. That's what it was.
Did it have a big magazine coming out the top?
I think it did.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
I've shot one of those as well.
That's what I used in my FPS armor piercing ammo video that we put up.
Really?
Well, that went through, I assume, right?
That's ridiculous.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's when, I assume, right? That's ridiculous. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's when we stacked
all those multiple armor plates together,
and we didn't show the rifle actually going off.
We pretended like it was me
using a.22 long rifle doing all that damage.
It was our April Fool's video.
Ah, right, right.
That's cool.
They make it.
So, yeah, that one's a...
That Lottie is kind of a semi-automatic deal,
and it weighs a fucking ton.
Probably almost as much as my.50 cal.
Much, much more.
No way, mine's not shoulderable.
But they make another one,
it's called an Anzio Ironworks 20mm
and that one's like bolt action,
like it weighs about 110 pounds,
it's about seven feet tall and it hurt my
shoulder uh and it never really healed right again it's just an awful round huh yeah i
hmm you want one i i can hook you up how much is it um over 10 or 14 000 somewhere in there no i don't want one it's no one will ever steal it
they couldn't pick it up if they wanted to well that's like my 50 cal he makes one that's the 20
caliber brass right it's that the part that holds the propellant but it's been necked down to the 50
bmg round so you have like tons of propellant and a little like
.22LR. And they don't even use like the
copper covered projectiles like
you're probably familiar with like in the bullets that I
had on hand and stuff. It's a turned
bronze projectile
that's like a needle. It's like that
long. The projectile comes down
to this sharp point that like
you could prick your finger with. And
I don't know what the ballistics are but I asked him. was like how far will it shoot he's like so far and like this
is the engine like a fucking engineer how far will it shoot he's so far so
that's that's not the unit of measurement that helps me. I was like, 2,500?
He's like, oh, and more and more.
It's just like, yeah, two miles, whatever.
It'll just keep on going.
I don't know about accuracy and all that,
but you're really slinging some lead with this thing.
Figuratively not, not literally,
because it doesn't shoot lead.
It's shooting a piece of hand-turned bronze.
But in any case, it's bad motherfucker hmm
so i don't know i i don't get any value out of my guys like they're all terrible investments
they're just like i i don't know it to me it feels like buying around how much is buying
around at a bar like a $1,000 for everybody?
No, it wouldn't be that much.
It depends on the bar and depends what you're buying around of. You could be buying around of
beers. You could be buying around of
Grand Marnier or you could buy them around
of 18-year-old McAllens or something.
Let's pretend
I was blowing $1,000 at a
bar for other people. That's
kind of what buying a gun like is for me.
I enjoy it.
I like it.
You don't get out and use them enough, man.
You got to put – so you've got tools that you aren't utilizing, and that's why you feel that way.
Like, your table saw, I'm sure you don't feel that way about it.
You're like, that fucking table saw, it's worth four times what I paid for it with the lumber I've cut.
the lumber I've cut. But if you take that.50 cal out to like, I bet they have long range shoots near you in the state where people take similar rifles, shoot for accuracy at
a thousand yards. And if you're last place or you're third place, it doesn't matter.
I feel like if you utilize those things, you'd feel that way. I utilize mine all the time.
And it makes me feel like each and every one of them has value. There's always a different one in my car.
I'm always mixing it up,
and I try to make sure that I utilize these things as much as I can.
I'm going deer hunting this week.
I felt like shit.
I meant to do it this weekend.
The weather's been yucky.
Yeah, I feel like it'd be a good time to go out in the mornings.
To say it's been out in the mornings. It's been, but I have to say it's been raining kind of like it's been raining in the
mornings at night and where I can hear the drops.
But like just recently I had a,
she's bought something gigantic.
I don't know.
It was like four feet tall,
a foot wide and four feet wide foot deep.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Four foot by four foot by a foot thick.
And I brought it to the guest house for
him and it was just kind of spitting like yucky and then other times it's raining raining was it
a real doll it was too light i think it might have been inflatable yeah that's uh that's you
do jackie and i both suspected it was an inflatable sex toy. That was it. We came up with the same idea.
You're so silly.
It's so much smaller than that.
I would think, yeah.
But we were both like inflatable sex doll.
And I'm like, funny you said that too.
That's what I said.
Like those inflatable ones are really just party gag gifts.
Because it really is just like a, like it would fold up into a thing like this big.
It's like a pool toy.
Like a pool toy with a hole in it, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Plus, I don't think you can fuck them, really.
You're not supposed to.
My friend brought one.
Way back in the day, we went to this lifeguard ball,
and everyone would bring, like, you know,
the hottest of the hottest girls and whatever,
and it was, like, almost competitive.
And one guy brought a blow-up sex toy,
and it was neat.
It was like
you know fuck you this is what i this is my girl and uh yeah her mouth i don't i remember she had
a pussy but her mouth was pretty much just a a tunnel in a pool toy like it wasn't anything
you'd want to stick your dick in you've seen that video i did for it forever with the blow-up dolls
right yeah it's been a while i think it was exactly
what i'm talking about though yeah that's the one that got pulled down that was that was bullshit
it was that the one where you were i'm trying to take we reached a door or something yeah yeah
there were like drug dealers in the neighborhood and so at the beginning i interrogate one of my
uh i've captured one and i'm like we're gonna go in here I interrogate one of my, I've captured one. And I'm like, we're going to go in here, going to interrogate this drug dealer to find out where the rest of them are, find out where the stash is.
And then it's like on my face.
I'm like, I know what you've been doing, blah, blah, blah.
You're going to talk one way or another.
And then it cuts back and it's a sex doll.
So, you know, I interrogate her, use the jumper cables on her, electrocute the nipples.
And, you know, I'm under the table shaking the thing going, ah!
Just shaking over there. Why did they take it down did they there were a couple of so what at first we thought maybe it was like the fake drugs because there was like this bag of flour that
they in there that these blow-up dolls had inside this house but it's like who's that dumb right
that they thought we're using real cocaine with blow-up dolls and all
this just from a production cost point of view you wouldn't go get real heroin go on so i spent
45 on blow-up dolls 72 on ammunition and 18 000 on this bag of cocaine it just doesn't make sense
right there's that though and then there's we thought maybe it was because of the sex dolls
you know they are they are mildly inappropriate you inappropriate with the big gaping hole of a mouth
and all. But it turned out that
it was just an annotation placed on the video.
I believe that's called a cock holster.
A cock holster. It was just an annotation
that was on the video that literally said,
when this video gets, I don't know,
10,000 favorites, likes, whatever I was pushing for
at the time, then I'll upload an
AA-12 video. It was a call to action.
It was saying, hey, support this video. When it gets to a certain point i'm going to upload my next video which was
the aa12 video so the video before this one got like 12 million views the aa12 one's like 36
million or some shit like that and everything so this one you got to imagine somewhere in the
middle of that of those two numbers probably at least over 10 or 15 million i thought it was thought was real pathos a good one because of the silly nature and the
and he normally didn't do and the you know lots of cameras is good video
so they took it down because they said it look like we're giving away in a
eight well
they thought we were doing it eighty twelve giveaway
and they were very upset about it you can hear like trying to explain these
people late at night that like
that's an absurd idea no don't delete our. We're not giving away guns like that's a
$25,000 destructive device that we don't even have access to like we I don't possess one
And like I couldn't give one away, and I wouldn't give one away and monetarily speaking
It makes no fucking sense for me to ever give one away and if I was giving it away it would be all 10 million views lost you know
because yeah that's how much it would cost yeah yeah yeah so they just took the video down and I
don't know it's round about 18 or 20 grand worth of lost income and and you know they let us keep
our channel but uh that's that's kind of the way of the game
that sucks yeah i've had some bad copyright strikes there was one um you might remember
commentary march madness yeah it had a graphic on it that i or um ukrainian limbs made like
ourselves in photoshop that was unique to the thing.
And basically, it was like, it kind of looked like an ESPN style thing where it had two columns.
And it was like this guy, this guy, his strengths, his weaknesses, his sub count,
his seed in the thing, etc. Right? It was unique to the tournament we were running.
And we made it. I think I made it in Photoshop.
And Twitch claimed it.
Like I stole it from them.
And it's like, I don't know what kind of automated fucked up system you have that thinks that's yours.
But like, it's ours. And like I said, it was unique to that video, that round of that tournament, that matchup of two people.
It was just a bad strike.
When my channel gets unprotected, it seems like
you get a bad strike
every 10 minutes that rolls in
and that sucks.
Yeah, that's no good.
Yeah, it's real nice. Last time I lost
a couple million views of all the videos.
They're like, alright, this one, this one. Can you just take it down?
Can you just take it down? I don't want to take those
down. I don't know. I those down. Like, that's, I don't know.
I heard those.
Yeah, I just look at my full view count.
It's like, I forget how many millions of views it is below what it really should be.
And I mean, it contributes to the value of your channel.
Yeah.
For me, if you want to sell some advertising in the future, it's nice if your channel has,
whatever, 200 million and five versus 200 million and none.
Yeah.
You know, it's kind of a lifetime achievement type
thing like yeah this is how many views my channel has had i'm kind of proud of that you know
sometimes i compare it to something else like i bet my channel has a lot more views than bone
tomahawk does that get the movie title right yeah yeah it definitely does it's it's i think i mean
300 some million if i remember right so that's it's got more than most successful movies i would
say yeah that's it makes me proud of this go successful movies, I would say. Yeah, that's...
It makes me proud.
Go listen to this.
Go watch...
Whatever you got to do to watch Bone Tomahawk.
It really is worth it.
That shit was great.
We didn't really talk about it at length.
What did you think about the end scene
when shit got crazy?
So I will not spoil it
if you guys are listening,
but I enjoyed the end scene.
Kyle said that it was...
I guess I always suspected things might go down like that
and didn't think that it was a one-of-a-kind ending.
But Kyle was like, oh, damn.
So it's going down like that.
But I definitely enjoyed the movie.
Don't let me downplay it.
I just...
It wasn't a... It was great i like that i like the movie oh and
now this is not a spoiler
they a person gets kidnapped in the first like 10 minutes of the movie and the people that
kidnap them are not everyday people they're extra scary
and you don't really meet them toward till towards the end of the movie and they were far scarier and
crazier and wilder than i anticipated yeah that so um uh that was a pleasant surprise for me
hanging out in the last half hour of movie yeah i i liked it i like mr o'dwyer's grit i like
that he just kept going no matter what which one's mr o'dwyer to see the husband the husband
they all had that grit they really all did yeah yeah everyone there even one of them even like
that so um matthew fox's character yes but i was going for the um what is he the assistant deputy or something like
that backup deputy yeah the backup deputy so the backup deputy is played by an older guy and he's
he's definitely not senile but he's he's lost a step both mentally and physically yes and he's
you know he's he's dumb he's just dumb he is dumb but i got the vibe that he had also lost a step mentally like when he can't remember
names and this like i don't know he just seems to like need to be recollected every so often
yeah he's going senile yeah yeah like maybe i am too but um even that guy had limitless grit
grit that if need be would take him all the way to the end and back you know like that he
any trouble he had wasn't going to be due to a lack of mental fortitude and he was the least
gritty guy in the movie yeah you know so that was it was neat everybody was they were just real
manly men just tough as nails uh whenever hardship came along they were they were just harder than it was
and uh and it was great i love that sort of thing yes yeah i love that sort of thing too i aspire to
be that sort of thing like like it it wasn't that any of them could lift 1200 pounds and that's what
made them manly what made them manly was you know it didn't matter what you did to them
their spirits were unbreakable and and that, it didn't matter what you did to them.
Their spirits were unbreakable.
And that was the coolest.
That was what I liked about them.
Yeah.
Yeah. No matter what came about, it was like, no, I'm going to keep going.
No matter what.
No, just we got somewhere to go.
There's no giving up.
There's no there's no back and down.
Like Kurt Russell was the most out of all of them.
Like no matter no matter what happened
kurt russell was down for more did you um on the subreddit today or recently someone linked an
explanation to primer did you watch that video by chance uh no i i assumed it was one i had seen
before dude i so i had watched primer and i had understood primer but when this
person started like going back to like the fifth and six copies of themselves i was like i've seen
before okay i thought whoa i think that there's more to primer than i I knew. And I don't think I ever quite put together the father-in-law with the beard thing.
Dude, Primer is complicated.
Primer is very complicated.
You know what?
I might.
I think I'll watch it tonight.
I think I'll.
Because it's only an hour and a half.
I think what I'll do is watch it in reverse though
I think my girlfriend and I will sit down and we'll watch the explanation to primer
Mmm, then we'll watch the movie and that way we'll you'll have it fresh mean us helping each other and just having watched an explanation
We'll be able to we'll be able to fully experience. This would be my strategy watch the explanation
Two of you watch the movie. Watch the explanation again.
Yeah. Yeah. That's probably what it would take. And if I'm recommended, here's what I would do.
If you're, this is one of those pieces of like entertainment that's really unwieldy and difficult
to enjoy the way that you and I have enjoyed it. But if I were going to a noob, I'd say,
go watch the movie. Then watch the explanation explanation then come back a week later watch the explanation
the movie and then the explanation again
and you got it right
no big deal
and all of that is less time
than a PKA
yeah
that's another thing I talk about
how many views I've had which now I feel like
a douche saying it like that but if you talk about how many minutes I'm here for a
lot of my like minutes yeah it's calculator on YouTube is great I don't
even know what mine is but it it's a lot for mine like I have a a lot of my
videos are over 10 minutes and at least you know 200 and some are probably over
two hours and we've been
doing four hours on PKA for I wonder if it so here's my question I wonder if say
I come on and and watch your four hour video long enough to get the ad and to
have technically watched it whatever that is or at least to get the first ad
like does it count that I watched 30 minutes or does it say I watched for
four hours I think if you watch it for four hours, it will say you watched it four hours.
Now, another thing that can happen a lot is someone will watch an hour of it
and then come back and watch another hour.
I think sometimes I get four views for one person,
even though the time doesn't even overlap.
It depends how much time elapses, I think,
between the chunks that they watch the segments yeah i know it has to be of a certain length for it to count
as a view but i think that length is really short by our standards like under a minute sure so you
know provide they can't just like lean on the f5 button but if they're doing what it is to watch
pka which is like you grab 30 minutes then you grab an hour and a half and you grab another hour then um that's three views right there oh i've got a video for us to watch
let me make sure i can share this physically not like nda or anything um tell me if this link works
and if you can play from this link and i think this would be good to play here and then probably play.
If you like it,
I think we should probably play it on PK.
It's pretty funny.
I know this.
Have you seen it already?
I have.
I,
I think that I can stream it.
Do you want to watch it?
Yeah.
All right.
it do you want to watch it yeah all right so i'm waiting my obs hasn't like flipped up there we go
now let me get this in frame so people can see it
this is uh this is during lunch on one of the days we were out at the Ox Ranch. I went back to the lodge to get some lunch, and after eating, I noticed that I wasn't alone.
All right, are you ready?
Yeah.
Ready, set, play.
So we all just had a lovely lunch, spaghetti actually.
And um, don't let me stop you.
It's good stuff.
What is that animal?
Here at the Ox Ranch they take really good care of us.
Emu.
An emu.
We got a chef on, Tad.
Yeah. And the wildlife likes to join in.
If you're on audio, there's an emu
poking at what looks like a catered
outfit with spaghetti.
Good stuff, man. You want some bread?
Some bread to go with that? Here you go.
It's like, man, you need a little bread?
Four and a half, five feet tall, something like that.
Yeah.
It'll eat right out of your hand.
Not your hand, it would seem.
I'll just say it. It was kind of weird about it, but it would eat right out of your hand. It was really- Not your hand it would seem. I don't know if you should swallow the whole, buddy. Well, not that. It was kinda weird about it, but it would like peck out of my hand and it-
It didn't bite that hard, like, it wasn't even scary.
Here, come on. Let's work together on this.
Oh, you'll have that one instead then.
Well, he's uh...
I got explosives on my face.
As you do.
Oh look, the camel! The camel has gotten himself a uh...
a turkey fryer over here.
This camel was eating plastic bat-
uh, eating plastic off this box over here.
You made me realize I don't want a camel.
...plastic, cardboard, anything like that.
Oh, this camel is so fucking cool, dude.
It's like an eight foot tall goat.
We've gotten real close over the last couple days.
A little closer than I'd like
to be honest, but I mean, it's a big animal. What are you gonna do?
Sexy animal.
I think that's your implication there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He did not like the garlic, bro. For some reason,
he really likes eating it. Yeah, I know.
He doesn't like the garlic. Too much garlic,
he said.
He took a bite of your whole head.
It bit the shit out of me.
That snaggletooth motherfucker.
It bit me so hard.
But they tell me, like, I've learned since that it wasn't biting me hard at all,
that those were, like, love nibbles.
Apparently it liked my shampoo and my hair gel and everything.
That stuff smelled good because I've seen those things bite guys on YouTube,
like right here, and pick them up and throw them.
So he was just nibbling on me, I guess.
He did that a lot.
I got lots of pictures of it biting me.
There was a lot of wildlife there.
I caught a – oh, let me tell you this one.
I didn't tell this one on the show.
So we're all standing there out in front of that lodge you just saw,
and this sort of ranch
hand pulls up in an old truck and he's he's an older guy himself in his 50s i guess super tan
and in the back he's got a porcupine he's he's petting the porcupine and everything he's talking
about how smart they are and i'm oh shit this guy's got a pet porcupine nothing cooler than
that i've never even seen a porcupine up close and so i'm over
there i'm petting it on the head and everything and it's remarkable you know i don't know if you
ever seen a porcupine this one's really big and uh and he's and i'm like where'd you get him he's
like i just saw him walking around in the field over there and snatched him up and i'm like you
mean you just caught this motherfucker just now out of that field and i'm over here petting it
on the head like it's a domesticated like like animal he's like oh yeah yeah he's wild he's wild as can be i'm like
holy shit like so so he taught me how to pick the thing up the right way like uh he said that not
he's like ain't many people ever picked up a pork time with the bare hands but i'll show you how
so i picked the thing up and hold it and everything but uh but yeah i'm over there
petting this thing on the head because i think it's just like a cat and he just had caught the thing in the damn field that's amazing
i saw a um subdivision that reminded me of that ranch that uh um was i gonna say oh yeah they have
like um all sorts of wild animals like gazelles and camels and like crazy things and basically
oh and the homes it was like a subdivision though
it wasn't like wide open spaces but the homes were designed to be almost invisible and sort of
low impact and there were all kinds of rules on what it took to live there like how you did your
grass and what you drove and you know etc but if you want to live in an african safari it was an
african safari safari themed dude it's so cool i i really enjoyed
having those animals just kind of walking around uh you know i petting giraffes and i looked at my
youtube stats because i was curious and uh so 330 million views and that is what it is. This is disappointing. They didn't count watch time until 2012.
So that misses a lot of my heavy watch time stuff.
I was uploading twice a day and stuff through 2011.
But it's two billion minutes.
That's a lot of minutes.
Yeah, two billion minutes.
I saw that in Call of Duty,
more minutes had sunk into that than like all of
human uh history or something like that yeah i don't know it just seemed like a big number to
me that's a lot of time huge number billions of minutes yeah it was actually short it was 1.9
something but it's it's threatening it won't be too long before it's 2 billion minutes
it's a lot maybe it is 2 billion minutes. It's a lot.
Maybe it is 2 billion minutes with the shit I had to remove the last time I switched networks.
But PKN number 64.
Cool.
I hope you guys liked it.