Painkiller Already - PKN #68
Episode Date: December 11, 2015This week on PKN...Taylor died.......
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, Painkiller Nearly, episode 68.
Welcome to the show.
For some reason, I thought Kyle would say something after that, but all right.
You ready to do this, Taylor?
Yeah, I'm ready.
So Taylor was...
All right, let's get it done then.
Taylor made an effort to be here this week in Farin.
He was like, hey, I can't be here tonight.
Can we do it at three?
And I don't know if I said yes or not.
I know, I think Kyle did.
I don't recall.
But I had to pick up Hope.
So I was like, hey, can we make it to two?
And he hasn't replied.
I guess he's unavailable until three.
Yeah.
Big deal. We made an effort.
But I think he'll make more shows
going forward. That's a good thing.
Yeah, we played some zombies last night.
The four of us. Woody, Taylor,
myself, and Chiz.
We got to round early, low 20, something like that, 22, 23, somewhere in there.
Something like that.
My first game of the night was the first one I had been on top of zombies so far.
I had four perks.
I had two decent guns.
The only issue was I had a ray gun and a sniper both of which good for
killing things but neither of which were good for points and uh nah i i didn't want to like get rid
of a good gun but i also wasn't racking up the tons of points you need to i like that wall gun
for that i like to to just walk around in circles for five minutes and turn around and spray the 10
zombies i got and i'm with you entirely especially if you pack a punch or something and it is more
ammo and you're definitely right but it's hard to like throw a ray gun on the ground and pick up a
wall gun yeah i'd have thrown that sniper away i like the dracon or dracon whatever it is dracon
i'm not sure something like that who fucking knows I think it's a made up gun anyway.
We should be able to pronounce it any way we want.
So the Drake
as I'm going to call it from here
it's pretty sweet but
that Raygun is nice for like
it's those situations when you've got your train behind you
and all of a sudden three pop up in front
of you and you've got to like oh shit I need to clear
three guys real quick to keep from just dying
here.
That's often the challenge I have like i i hear you know oh no what do you gotta like stay right on the alley and then duck left at the end and that gets you pretty far but if you're in
a spot where there's three guys in front of you you don't have jug sometimes you can't get around
them yeah you know and and you know i'm sitting there like, all right, well, with this pistol,
if I hit with every bullet, it's potentially what?
Like 1,000 points, 1,500 points at best?
And then maybe you can buy a wall gun.
And in this whole scenario, if you're a high enough round,
you probably haven't killed a zombie or not much.
You're just really working a train trying to stay alive
without the ability to defend yourself.
You can get into a hole if you go down early and you miss that key point in the game where you need to get your jug and you need to get your gun.
And I like to get the juggernaut first and get a wall gun.
So the first time I, I've only played four games.
The first time I ever played, I knew nothing, whatever.
It's forgivable.
The second time I played, it's like round 8 or 9.
Everyone else is powerful, and I'm like,
oh, wait, I thought we were puzzle solving.
I haven't been keeping up with this.
At some point, we transitioned from
the bullshit fuckery that is
Black Ops 3 Zombies, where every game
starts with an hour worth of unfun,
and then... It's literally
15 or 20 minutes. It really is.
It is, yeah.
25, maybe. And it's literally 15 or 20 minutes it really it is yeah it it 25 maybe like like it's and it's really lame i feel like i feel like you should do have to do all that once like once you
do it once okay in the future press y to skip all that like i feel like we should just turn
everything on and i'm not but the three of you are experienced at this you're all like a well
lubed team just you know jace is like all right, I can do two of the...
You know how you turn into that fucking Chalupa monster
and hit the things?
Chiz can do a couple of them in one round.
Two or three is one Chalupa monster.
I'm sure that's pronounced wrong.
It goes quick.
What I'm trying to say is it sucks and i am in the best environment possible you know it other people who maybe aren't as experienced
at it like me but without my friends they must suffer through that for an hour game
it really is awful um i can't imagine what it would be like to be in there and do it. I can. I did it.
We were in there for the first time and we had Melissa, Taylor's girlfriend, watching a YouTube video and kind of talking us through how to do it.
So it was really like, oh shit, we ended the round too early. We're fucked.
We had to end multiple games, like at round two, round three, and just start over again.
Why would you have to do that? Just to get the...
Because you have to use your beast modes efficiently.
But you get more every round.
So I think what you're saying is you didn't want to be in round five or something.
It's still working.
No, by round five, we wanted to be pack-a-punched.
And you can do that.
Like that's...
Now it's always...
We probably... I think we do it by round two sometimes. and you can do that. Like that's totally the way.
We probably do it by round two.
I think we do it by round two sometimes.
Oh, maybe we are, yeah.
But usually there's some sort
of trip up that takes it
to three or four.
Oh, I know what it was.
We didn't have as many people.
There were three of us,
not four.
So it stretches it out a bit.
That's another thing.
When there's one person versus two and three,
not only do the zombies change,
but the amount of beast modes, obviously,
and the amount of times you can use them for a round, maybe.
It's too complicated.
That's too complicated.
I shouldn't need to know all this.
Yeah.
And just the steps to the ritual.
I know them now.
I can do every one of the rituals.
I can do every one of the boxes i can do every one of the um the boxes and machines i can turn them on but it took teens of hours of playing to get that down
i don't know at all but my complaint isn't specifically the complexity it's that it's not
fun you know like it it's a pain in the ass that you have to endure every game. And that's been my issue with a lot of zombies.
It really is.
Like Ascension, right?
I don't find the startup to getting the power turned on and stuff.
I can't even think of it right now.
But I never found it really overburdensome.
But the start of many zombies.
I want to pop in and play the game.
It can ratchet up in difficulty.
But it should be fun.
You can jump right into Rise, I feel like.
Oh, yeah?
The power and the teleporter is so simple.
It's just like click, click, and it's on, click, click, and it's on.
All the machines are really close to each other.
There's a central area.
I like to rise a lot hmm it's not I don't I don't like like when there's a
whole puzzle to turning all the power on and getting basic shit I feel like the
puzzle that we do to just to get a pack-a-punch on and then you know
there's also the puzzle to get that Cthulhu gun that's like wrapped around
your arm like shit and then there's another puzzle to get the shield and
then there's another puzzle to get the shield and then there's another puzzle to get that sentry man
the whatever
the Securitron patroller whatever he's called
and I don't
feel like any of those things are worth the amount
of effort we're putting in and the lack of fun
that we're having while we're doing it
after all the bullshit
yeah Chiz does most of them
he does all those other ones that don't require us
he totally does and then he greedily takes his does all those other ones that don't require us. He totally does.
And then he greedily takes his Cthulhu gun.
I don't feel like that's greedy. Did you see him using that?
No.
Did you see him use it?
Oh, it's so cool.
It creates a portal out there that sucks all the zombies into it,
and they just disappear.
It's an area of effect weapon, really.
Anything near it, every time he shoots,
gets sucked in and dies.
But it's eight shots and then gone?
I don't know how many shots.
He might have said eight.
I don't know.
I know he said he used eight on me
to get me up all those times.
But yeah, I had fun.
I like playing zombies with all of us,
or at least with four people.
I don't really care what the lineup is,
but I like the new zombies. Once it gets
rolling, and you get a gun,
and you get Juggernaut, and it's like, let's fight now.
Which takes
20 or 30 minutes.
That's where I was headed.
Even Ascension, which is the one I played the most,
because I like it the most. I really like
the Cowboy one too.
Dead Reckoning, maybe? I forget.
But I wish that it got rolling a little quicker. The cowboy one too. Dead, dead reckoning maybe I forget. But it just,
I wish that it got rolling a little quicker,
you know,
like it,
you know,
the games they start off like they're black and white,
you know,
shoot,
shoot knife,
shoot,
shoot knife,
trying to maximize your points.
That whole process.
I wish we could start from a save or something and just be like,
all right,
let's start at round five.
You know,
where everyone's like
in a decent spot like if I could just skip
the first door opening
points and shit like that
I don't mind that
like I'm trying
I don't remember the map names but
basically I don't mind
earning enough points to open doors to get to new
parts of the map and I don't mind
you know doing some sort of basic map and I don't mind doing some
sort of basic map interaction to turn power on. Like if you push a thing and it falls
over and now all of a sudden you can walk over a creek or if you shoot a box and now
the electricity comes on, all that's cool. But what I don't like is like you literally
have to turn into a monster and in sequence hit all these grates to utilize
your monster the way
you should. And then you've got to pick the pieces
up and go assemble them correctly
and then a ritual starts where you're locked in a room
for 90 seconds and you've got to walk in a circle
and not kill the witches. And then you get
a slug, but be careful because every time
you get a slug you also get a margwa monster
or whatever and he's going to stomp your ass
out if you're not careful. And then you gotta assemble all
the slugs underground in hell,
and then somehow you get to upgrade
your weapon, if you're lucky enough to survive
all that. And that's the part that's where, that's when
the game gets fun. When that, when that first
pack-a-punch thing comes out of the machine,
I'm like, yeah, look at my gun, everybody!
It's green now! Like, that's when
the game's fun, when you can really dominate
zombies, um, and like, blow them up with one shot. I enjoy that's when the game's fun when you can really dominate zombies um and like blow
them up with one shot i enjoy that part of the game but it takes 25 minutes to get there and
that's kind of frustrating yeah yeah i just think that's too long but so who was the shoot let's
talk about this planned parenthood thing okay i don't know anything about the shooter we're very
proud of him he's's from North Carolina.
I've heard so here's the two things that I have heard.
A lot of nut jobs up there I hear.
So
I know that one of those
conservative politicians mentioned that
the guy was transgendered but it seems to me
from what I've read and heard
that the only thing
making him even seem transgendered was that
he filled out some card and wrote woman instead of man,
which, based on everything else they described about this guy,
just seems like his kind of, like, fuck you to anybody
who would try to be a census taker or put him on a list.
He seemed like a real outsider, cabin-in-the-woods kind of old guy
who had been alienating people for his entire life
and just
fucking snapped and i i guarantee that this wouldn't have happened if you didn't have people
like sean hannity um rush limbaugh and really the whole conservative party out there demonizing
things like planned parenthood telling outright lies like carly fiorina i'm going on a tangent
here but but tell me more about this guy.
Is there anything I didn't know about him?
I think the transgender thing is just complete Ted Cruz bullshit.
It was Ted Cruz who said that.
And he said something like, you know, for all we know, this guy is a liberal transgender left wing something or other.
And in my observation, that's an attempt to sort of push away attention from the
fact that he was probably motivated and encouraged by some people on the right you know this is the
republicans they've been the rhetoric of the party they've been demonizing planned parenthood in a
huge way by the way they just ended the, there was some sort of like,
I don't want to say insight,
but like look into what was up with Planned Parenthood.
Like there was a Senate inquiry.
That's what it was.
A Senate inquiry into Planned Parenthood.
And it was just a political show,
election year bullshit,
where they were going to like,
look and see what Planned Parenthood does
as if there's any question.
They hand out a ton of birth control and do some abortions.
And somehow the abortions aren't federally funded.
But that's a great line, because if I was like,
Kyle, listen, I don't fund your games.
No, I fund everything else about your life,
but I don't fund your gaming hobby.
You're like, all right, well, fuck.
That sure makes it easy for me to fund my gaming hobby,
given that it's the only thing I pay for by myself.
You know, it's not.
So the fact that we don't fund abortions federally, like you see where I'm coming from.
Like there's totally if you fund everything else, then you're kind of making it.
Yeah.
For that.
Yeah.
You make it real easy for me to afford an abortion when I don't have to pay utilities or or for any other of the procedures or activities or overhead or staffing or insurance or like any of the other things it takes to run a
giant organization like that. So yeah, I totally see that. Personally, I don't fucking care. Maybe
some federal money should go to some abortions. There's a lot of kids out there that don't need
to be born. I know a bunch of them. All right. So the guy was from North Carolina.
bunch of them so all right so the guy was from north carolina he lived in colorado he um uh when he did it he was yelling something about like stop selling baby parts and uh that to me is the
smoking did he really say that yeah it's like the ala akbar of the right wing like oh i see if
you're fussing about selling baby parts,
which by the way, is not a true thing.
If you're out there and you're a little confused,
it's not a true thing.
I want to circle back to that.
But he said something along the lines of,
you know, stop selling baby parts
as he was shooting the thing.
He got two kills and a couple of injuries.
So I feel like if he was yelling ala akbar we would
all immediately jump to the not just conclusion but like we would know in our hearts that it was
a muslim terrorist right because that's who yells ala akbar while they kill people if he's yelling stop selling baby parts that is a lie that was put out during a republican
debate by carly fararina or fararina something like that farona close enough we don't need to
get her name right you know me and names anyway long time viewers carly the horse-faced lady
so she put that out there and because it's popular amongst the base, you don't want to really
be the Republican that says, you know what, let's stay truth based. That's why it's so tempting when
when they say things like, you know, Obama's a terrorist, he's a secret treason guy, or
was a treason person who commits treason called not a treasoner. Let's go with that. Yeah. You know, Obama is a secret traitor.
Obama is a Muslim.
He's secretly part of ISIS.
You say that, and there are some on the right who are really enthusiastic and happy to hear
that.
It's a message that resonates with them.
So if you're running for office, it's a tough spot to be in to say, no, no, no, no.
Look, let's just get this right.
He's an American. He on america's side i don't agree with everything he says but let's admit his heart is pro-american they don't
want to hear that so yeah republicans are mostly distancing themselves from this guy but not much
they went days without saying a word um then they're calling that a loon and but not much. They went days without saying a word. Then they're calling him a loon, but not really.
They're not defending him. I think Huckabee was the first. I think Huckabee said
something like, you know, that it was domestic terrorism. I think he called it domestic
terrorism. Yeah, I feel like, look, it's awful and everything,
but nowadays it takes so little to be
like a national tragedy, a major news story you know
when i was a kid if two people got caught in a philadelphia shooting it was like dude i don't
give a fuck is there any other news of course too it's like a rainy day you know i'm pretty sure
there are dozens of people shot every weekend in Chicago.
Every Monday or Tuesday I'll see on Reddit, and they'll kind of point this out in the
same way that you're pointing that out, they'll say, there'll be something where three people
got shot and it's being really blown out of proportion, and they'll say, by the way, 28
people shot this weekend in Chicago.
Crazy numbers like that, in multiple cases.
I remember around some holiday, maybe July 4th, there were like, there were a couple
dozen like violent crimes in Chicago that weekend that weren't any kind of a story.
Unless I misinterpreted his meeting, Chiz was like, dude, these mass shootings are getting
out of control.
Mass shooting?
Two.
Yeah.
Two people died.
Like shootings are down, right?
Crime is going down in America.
Shootings are going down in America.
I feel like if you fast forward America 40 or 50 years,
we'll be Sweden shutting down prisons.
One of those Nordic states.
They're shutting down their prisons.
They just don't have enough criminals anymore. Their crime rates are are insanely low they're in some ways a nirvana that's where
we're trending on this thing our health care with obamacare is a little more state mandated
regulated our crime is down our shootings are down you wouldn't think it by the news but they're down
so it's just like the the i feel like at one point child ab You wouldn't think it by the news, but they're down. So it's just like the
I feel like at one point
child abductions were really hot on the news.
It seems like you would hear about a new
pretty blonde girl going missing
every two weeks. Like it was around that
Natalie Holloway was the first one. She went
down to Aruba on some kind of spring break.
She was a total slut.
Nobody wanted to call her out on it.
Hey, we like sluts on this on hey we like sluts on this show
we like sluts on this show but but but i mean maybe if you're like it if you're
shit it's gonna happen it's risky behavior if you're in another country and you're just
hooking up with some random dudes you just met and like leaving your safe group and like going
off randomly with these random dudes you just met like chances are some bad things could happen like like your it
you're increasing your risk a bad things happening and you know she got kidnapped
and killed and
later turned out that Vander Sloot guy had like killed multiple women and was
just a
a real scary kinda guy but in any case like child abductions got really hot
around that time
and I remember it was always a white kid every time
and it would be a national news story and then you'd see someone point out the hypocrisy of that on Facebook, Reddit, whatever.
And they would say, by the way, like four black kids got kidnapped this week.
Like they're all missing.
We're not going to find them.
They're gone.
But like this one white girl who was like, it turns out is like actually running away from home.
And there's like another balloon boy scenario or something is getting like all the anchors are like and the search for little jessica still goes
on chapelle had a routine on that he he he had these facts but yeah he was like i forget who
was caught but there was some pretty blonde girl who got caught and they took her eight miles away
and he's like eight miles away you can't hold me eight that's my bus stop nigga i'm gonna get a go and then um there was a another girl she was black
she got abducted they chewed through the rope she chewed through the ropes she got out she went home
she told the police they caught him that afternoon barely made the news because you know it's just
i don't know not not as big a story i guess is i like that story i think that one's cool oh no i
think he was pointing out that like the black kids were better escaping than white kids because he
was like he was like they were on the news that night like it was over but yeah that um i can't
remember the name of that chick who was kidnapped and uh it seems like it was out in the midwest
like utah or or something like that.
I don't know if that's considered Midwest,
but in there somewhere,
in that center part of the country,
that flyover part.
And they had kept her for a long period of time,
really close to her house.
Six months, eight miles.
What a shitty...
At some point, you've got to lay some of that on her.
I think we should praise her.
She was an outstanding prisoner.
You really couldn't ask for any more.
I'm going to tell you, if you took me six miles from here,
and I'm thinking in my head, I'm imagining my local geography
and six miles in every direction.
I'd be like, shit, isn't that Highway 77?
Fuck y'all.
If I could just crawl out of here i i mean i know those people
at that gas station over there like i can't imagine being and they would leave her like during the day
she had like kind of free run of the house it seemed i couldn't believe that that she had been
it seemed really weird that that that she wasn't in a cage somewhere in a basement she was just
kind of hanging out at six miles away.
That's what it seemed more like she was hanging out with some weird dude.
I'd love to get her on the show and ask what was going through her head.
You know,
I think she,
she,
I think she did some big interview and I remember she got a big,
I kind of remember her getting like a big payday.
It was one of those things where like everybody wanted this story and like,
I don't know,
Diane Sawyer eventually got it or whoever the fuck
and she got a couple million maybe for talking speaking out for it um maybe maybe yeah i'll be
six months prisoner yeah would you yeah yeah get get on that like kidnap me hold me hostage make
me wear that silly like mormon dress or whatever she was wearing i'll do all that magic underwear
you name it yeah if i get to talk to diane Sawyer at the end and get a few million dollars.
Yeah, I'm down for that.
I really had a hard time feeling sorry for that girl
because it seemed like she was just really shitty at being
a person. I was like,
does she have a learning disorder? And then
I heard her talk and she seemed like she was all there
so it was just like, you're just real bad
at getting away, huh?
I couldn't
wrap my head around that one it almost seemed like she
was just hanging out with some weird people for a while and then cried kidnap back to this colorado
guy like i think the story's gone now like from what i can see now it's funny because the non
patreons won't have this for like a week or an half or so i think it takes a week so they'll
hear this in a week and i bet the story is beyond dead as they're listening to this.
Probably so.
You never know.
All it would take is somebody to pick it up and run with it.
Like if Clinton thought that this would be something that she could use in some way,
and they sunk God knows how much money she's got in her treasury.
If they sunk $10 million into pushing this, maybe it gets some traction.
I don't know.
I don't think it's really much of a story
because you don't have, honestly,
you don't have victims that the media can hold in front of you
and sell newspapers and get people to sit in front of TV sets
and listen to them cry about it.
The media really wants to blow every little thing out of proportion,
and that's how they make money right like if you're not watching if they're just like donald
trump everything's the worst this is the worst thing ever fan it's a terrible day a disaster
the guy who owns the network is like yes yes disaster i love Trump's best and worst stuff. It kills me.
Like, I've got one of the best memories that mankind knows, right?
My memory is outstanding.
And then, like, I was reading this thing today about what a bullshitter he is.
And it's interesting.
They're like, he's not a liar.
Because a liar at least kind of, like, knows he's trying to get away with a thing.
He's a bullshitter.
He tries to, a whole world of bullshit.
Like he doesn't care what's true and what's not true.
He speaks in such generalities though that it's really hard to.
I have some examples.
Oh, okay.
So, okay.
This New Jersey, thousands of people cheering on 9-11, right?
Okay.
He's just running with this bullshit
in a way that I wouldn't want my president to do.
Like you can't just be wrong about something
and just keep like,
I'll never back down from my bullshit.
It's not true.
And he's like, well, this happened in 2001.
You have to realize that was 14 years ago.
14 years ago wasn't like now.
There weren't phones with cameras all over the place.
You couldn't just press a button and watch a video.
14 years ago was a very different time.
Oh, horseshit.
No.
I had a camera phone at the time.
Lots of people had.
In 2001?
I did. I don In 2001? I did.
I don't know if everyone did.
I was early.
I had this blue flip phone that was one of the earlier video ones.
Right.
And I didn't get that until like...
I paid like $300 for it in 2004, I guess.
I think it was 2004.
It was 2004 before I had a video phone that was worth a shit.
I kind of objected to him saying 2001 was like a pre-video time in our lives.
It really wasn't.
I think to the point it is.
I think he's right about this.
I'm thinking back to the phones I had back then.
They were all like those shitty LED screens.
What was it when it was just like a calculator?
What do you call those screens?
The liquid crystal ones?
Yeah, LCD.
They're still LCD now, I think.
No, they're LED.
I don't know.
I had one of those little Sony Ericsson bullshit brick phones.
I wasn't snapping pictures.
And even my friends, none of us had that.
I had a Trio or something like that.
Is that a...
It was like a palm pilot the first palm
pilot phone yeah yeah my friends had those but that was in 2005 by 2005 i think i had an iphone
i guess that was the first iphone we were hearing about the iphone but like everybody that had the
like palm pilots and blackberries were like piece of shit yeah who wants that they were all like poo-pooing the thing because they all had these corporate deals with uh with the um
like everybody in the corporation had a uh a blackberry i guess or maybe it was that trejo
thing i don't know the difference my phone was 2007 so i could be off you know maybe even 2001
maybe i mean being off by two years a man of your I've got the world's greatest
memory
you're off like a quarter of a percent
that's not a big deal
here's another one
the real point is like where did he see these people
cheering at like he saw them like from
Trump Tower he was looking down with some binoculars
like was he in Jersey at the time
so he's somewhere near the Mason Dixon
line it's a different story.
And he says there's a plaque on there.
And it's like many great Americans died here, north and south, so many that the river turned red.
And historians have looked into this and said it's just not true.
There was no major battle at this site.
The plaque is bullshit.
And Trump responds by saying, how do you
know it's not true? How do you
know this was bullshit? Were you there?
There's just kind
of a, you know, like
hey, I declare what's truth around here.
I don't care what historians
are saying.
It's very difficult to prove a negative.
To prove that something's not true. And that's
what he relies on all the time.
Prove I didn't see it.
I can't prove you didn't do something.
You need to prove you did.
That's how everything works.
Prove there was no battle here.
Well, shit.
How does one go about proving a lack of battle?
You know, Trump was using that same argument you're making right now for years,
wanting to see that fucking birth certificate.
Yeah. argument you're making right now for years wanting to see that fucking birth certificate yeah but wait he was saying prove that you weren't that he's doing what i'm accusing him of doing he was saying prove you're not kenyan and he'd be like well here's my you know hawaiian birth
certificate no no no prove the long form yeah he's He asks people to prove a negative, and when they can't, because it's impossible.
You can't prove your goldfish doesn't fly when you're not around, right?
When nobody's looking, that thing could be flying.
There is no proof that it's not.
And he relies on that constantly because he's a bullshitter.
And at first, I was like, you know, i get the trump's a joke and like all these
other issues but he's not my least favorite candidate no no now he's times but he's slipping
into being one of my least favorite candidates ah no don't don't don't let see they're they're
just picking at him they're they're they're they're he's getting asked a lot of questions
so he's having to give a lot of responses.
And he's just going to step in shit every now and then. I'm sure most of the time he's
flying by the seat of his pants. He doesn't seem like a well-rehearsed guy. Some of these
politicians, you ask them a question, and they got a canned answer like that. And it's
nice. And if you pay attention, you'll be like, that's a canned answer. But it'll still
get their... It'll kind of switch things
around and you know it'll be an immigration question and they'll turn it around and make
it about religion or planned parenthood or something and they'll get their point across
and like their positions across and the way they differentiate differentiate differ from the other
candidates but trump just kind of just feels like he's from the seat of his pants most of the time
he'll just start talking to those broad stroke generalities about,
oh, I'll be great at the military.
Well, what are you going to do about ISIS?
I'm going to bomb the shit out of them.
Well, what are you going to do about the economy?
Oh, economy.
Who better?
I'm going to make big deals.
Big deals.
He's got nothing.
He's got no numbers.
The people doing it now are dumb.
I am widely regarded as one of the smartest people ever,
so I'll be great.
I'll be so much better than these guys. I'm going to put smart people in these roles.
That's the kind of shit he says.
Well, I don't know.
You often see the appointments to some of those cabinet positions and the little rungs of the ladder below each of them.
And they're all so interconnected, and so it seems like such a buddy-buddy system.
Ambassadors, maybe.
Definitely ambassadors.
But I feel like cabinet positions even, like whoever the fuck's running the energy department is probably some sort of Obama crony, right?
They probably, he was probably part of a community organizing in Chicago back in the day or something like that.
I don't think so.
I think that in the major positions,
they put the most qualified people
so that they have a good legacy
and they do a good job.
Then how do you explain so many minorities
in those positions?
You can't.
I don't even know if that's true.
I think he might have some ground to stand on there when he's saying that he would maybe put people in there who would do a better job.
Maybe.
I've never been less enthusiastic about a field of presidential candidates in my life.
Of course, yeah.
Oh, I don't care about, like, there's nobody out there who I'm like, that's the guy who will like.
Dude, Obama?
I wanted him to win. Like, I liked him more. I thought he, that's the guy who will win. Dude, Obama? I wanted him to win.
I liked him more.
I thought he'd –
Here's a question.
He would do a good job.
Would you take an Obama third term over –
Yep, yep.
I would too.
Yeah, yeah.
Obama and Bill Clinton, I think they were both actually pretty darn good presidents.
They did –
And then you look at like – we'll see what happens after Obama.
But what happened after Clinton is the shit hit the fan.
All of a sudden, we're going to war for no fucking reason.
You know, we were paying off the deficit so quickly under Bush that there was arguments
on CNBC about whether we were paying off the deficit too fast.
And George W. Bush ran on this campaign of, hey, you know what?
You deserve some of that money back.
Why are you paying down the national debt?
Why?
Why?
We should put that money back in your pocket, right?
And then when the economy tanks, the argument switches.
Oh, my God.
You guys need a tax cut, don't you?
We need a tax cut to reinvigorate the economy.
God, you guys need a tax cut, don't you?
You know, we need a tax cut to reinvigorate the economy.
And it's like, you know, this is a pill that you assigned for every disease.
Are things going too well?
Take a tax cut.
Are things going rough?
Take one.
While there aren't any candidates out there that I feel like speak for me really well or any that I'm excited about or any that I really want to win, I feel like it's one
of the more entertaining cycles.
When you had Al Gore...
The Republican side, anyway.
Al Gore was such a bore.
You had one way to make fun of him,
make fun of how fucking boring he is.
That's all you could do the whole time.
Every time SNL would lampoon that guy,
he was just a real boring guy.
Bush, at least, you could have some fun with.
He was hilarious with his made-up words
and his whole attitude.
That's not what I look for in a president.
Not a president.
I'm looking for good entertainment.
This election cycle is one of the more entertaining ones in a while.
You've got nut jobs like Carson out there,
not leading, but up there in the polls,
they have to discuss this lunatic
because he's polling so well amongst Republicans.
He's in second.
If Trump falls off, because he's getting all this negative press right now, if the negative
press actually impacts him this time, and there's no guarantee it will.
Don't think it will.
Okay.
I don't know, but it's not a bad-
I feel like Trump supporters, like whatever percentage, like whatever, if he's polling
at 25%, then that 25 they they don't care they believe those uh muslims were cheering
they they want to go get them i want to circle back to that but uh um uh if trump falls off
then carson's in first and you've got another crazy head you know and neither of them know
farad policy very well.
So I was reading this thing.
And I thought it was super interesting.
So they were talking about how people's standard for evidence or standard of proof is so much lower when it backs up what they already know.
And I guess this is common knowledge.
As I say it, I'm like, well done. Or what they already know. And I guess this is common knowledge. As I say it, I'm like, well done.
Or what they already believe.
Right.
So, like, for example, my parents are very religious.
And they get even a hint or a shred of something that turned out.
Oh, the things they believe the Bible predicted things that happened in America.
Right?
America's not really mentioned in the bible but they see it they see that oh the bible defined obama as the antichrist i think
that's the thing that they've told me the mark of the beast potentially being an i watch um
the or credit card or those freaking cards chips id chips for sure that's that if that happens and that's the mark of the beast um
they they see i don't know like catastrophes mentioned like some you know the noah's ark
flood or something if if there were some sort of like uh if they saw something on the history
channel that that maybe suggested the earth was only 6 000 years old they'd be like oh yeah instant
belief like like you would have a real easy time convincing them that any evidence that supported a young earth theory was real.
Like you see this rock right here?
Proves it.
And they'd be like, yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Uh-huh.
I believe you.
Right.
Look at the way people hold bananas or something.
That's proof of intelligent design.
But then I turn that same magnifying glass on myself.
And I don't think I'm innocent of this either I think that if you take one of my predefined beliefs
you know like Bernie Sanders
while I don't agree with most of his stuff
operates from a point of moral authority right
he's doing what he thinks is right
and is uncompromising in that
I think it doesn't take much to get that reinforced
in my head or anything, I believe. I wish I had a better example, but like, you know, I believe that,
I don't know, George W. Bush was incompetent and I'm actually very smart. There's a lot of evidence
that points counter that. I mean, he graduated, he has like two Ivy League degrees. He comes from a
family of smart people. So just genetically, you wouldn't think he'd be a complete dodo, right?
Like there's a lot of evidence that George W. Bush,
while kind of stumbled on his words, wasn't dumb.
And in his earlier days, like when he was running for governor of Texas,
he actually spoke pretty well back then too.
I don't know what happened.
He stopped doing the cocaine
now you see i'm ready to be like well that makes sense it probably was his coke head days
i could believe that okay yeah right i can believe that is so perfect i feel like everyone does this
or most people do this to some extent you know that yeah i could believe that if this fits into
your system of beliefs,
then you're completely lined up with it.
The people that think that Trump
is pure because he funds
his own campaign, the people that think that
you know, Carson is this great guy
in spite of
like, what did, he got
money from like fraud health companies.
That's how he got rich for a decade.
He claims he
didn't didn't ever he lied about his relationship with them but it doesn't take much you know he
could just deny it he could just yeah that's not true and people will be like all right good enough
for me because it it lines up with their system of predefined beliefs yeah i think you're gonna
have a hard time like i feel like trump supporters um aren't gonna believe any of that silliness about
him and if they if they heard it they might think yeah good for him yeah like not not specifically a
lie but if they heard something bad about trump that maybe a liberal would think was a bad thing
his supporters see those as like his good things if they heard if they found he was a racist like
if they if they found out he dropped an n-bomb and ordered... In a private conversation or something.
Yeah, they'd be like, yeah, Trump's one of us.
That's what I like to hear.
My president dropped a few N-bombs.
That's what I like to see. Nixon did, I think.
I'm sure they all have.
I doubt Obama dropped... Well, maybe Obama
drops the most amongst friends,
for all I know. Maybe in his cabinet
meeting it's just N-bombber, N-Bomber.
But it's all positive.
You know, my nigga.
What was I going to say?
Yeah, I don't know.
I doubt that's true.
Yeah, I doubt that's true too.
It seems formal.
But who knows?
It seems formal, but who knows?
Yeah, I've never been less enthusiastic about a batch of presidents.
There's no one out there that I want to win.
Nope, nope.
Maybe something crazy will happen and we will get a third term.
Or maybe somehow Biden will get sucked into this thing.
Even though he said he's not, you know, I know his son passed away.
I think maybe he was going to if his son hadn't passed away that that was my prediction months ago that biden was gonna jump into the race and he was gonna win there's literally a filing date i don't know if
it's too late or not but it might be it might have been november 15th what is it um someone
could name him a vp and then they could do some switcheroo stuff though, right? Oh, I'm not familiar with that.
It sounds like maybe you read something.
I didn't read anything.
I'm just...
Oh, that's a real tricky thing.
Like, name him VP.
Yeah, well, that's what they did on Battlestar Galactica.
And then I agreed to step down or something.
Yeah, yeah, that's what they did on Battlestar.
It worked out great.
They had to get President Rosalind back in.
Maybe they'll pull that maneuver.
No, I'd like to see him involved somehow.
Even though I feel like he's as poor of a public speaker as George Bush ever was,
I feel like he's had... I remember the debates, the vice presidential debates,
and I don't remember who the VP candidate was last time around.
Was it Cruz or...
Paul Ryan? Paul Ryan? He's a good speaker. I thought he was good in the debates. debates and i don't remember who the vp candidate was last time around was it cruz or or paul ryan
ryan paul ryan he's a good speaker he was good i thought he was good in the debates i think they
they eventually said that um biden won but there were like three or four gaffes in there where i
felt like biden just said silly stuff and made himself look kind of dumb i feel like once you're
tagged with something then like they just, oh, there he goes again.
You know, big deal.
Dude, he keeps doing that creepy thing with those little girls.
Yeah, right.
This guy, if he poses with the family
and puts his hand on a young girl's shoulder,
like 12 or something.
He's like whispering in their ear
and pulling them close and laughing in their ear and kissing them and stuff.
And they're all uncomfortable.
And I've seen it at least twice.
I don't know about the kissing.
I've seen him kiss twice.
Where?
Like here?
No, like on the cheek.
Like he'd kiss them on the cheek and the little girl's just like, ah.
She's like totally not comfortable with it.
Yeah, because he might not know how repulsive old people are to young people.
Yeah, they smell like death.
When you're 12 and someone's 60, it's like, oh, my God.
He's 70.
He's got that extra old smell.
He probably does.
Yeah.
But I bet in his head, he's like, oh, yeah, I'm smelling fresh today.
Got some talc on.
Some talc?
Yeah.
He's 70, not 700.
What's the, like I got some medicated gold bond on me.
Like I smell shower fresh.
Like mothballs.
That's what old people smell like a lot.
Like if you see old people out because they don't leave their house much,
they've got their clothes that they would wear out in the closet with the mothballs.
So old people to me smell like mothballs, and you can just smell a little bit of death on them just a
little like like it's it's kind of a a soury um kind of a sour uh sickly smell like like rotting
fruit that that in the kitchen yeah that's what old people smell like no they don't
some do
I don't even know
so I didn't have any
I didn't have any grandfathers
but my grandmother smelled just over perfumed
that was what they smelled like
my grandpa smelled like
old spice
that's back in fashion
I feel like teenagers smell like Old Spice now, too.
And it's delicious.
Well, I mean,
I use Old Spice deodorant,
but it doesn't smell
like what he used.
He had that...
It almost looked like
ceramic, like,
bottle of Old Spice
that you, like,
dabbed on your hands
and, like,
the aftershave or whatever.
And it's got a very
distinctive smell.
But, yeah, he always smelled like old spies.
And Grandma mostly smelled like vodka all the time.
I don't know why.
I don't remember what she smelled like.
I don't think she had a specific smell or anything.
But some old people definitely do stink.
They have a smell.
I'm not exactly sure what it is.
I read one time on Reddit, there was an article about what old people smell was,
and they had an answer
that made sense. I don't recall
what it is, but yeah, old people definitely do have
a unique smell. Huh.
I don't know, I want to research it.
I'll have to look into that.
It sounded like there was some
scientific reason, like you know how baby poop
doesn't smell for the first whatever few days
because there's no bacteria in their system? It disgusting to look at though i wouldn't know i
don't think i've ever actually uh but i don't think i've ever been any part of baby poop people
try to get me whole babies and shit and i'm just not up for it jeremy came over to my dad's shop
the other day and was like and he was like you want to hold this baby i gotta go do a thing
he sounded a little bit like elvis there i don't know there i'll hold this baby i gotta go do a thing he sounded a little bit like elvis there i don't know
there i'll hold this baby now but dad's like no i'm not gonna hold your baby while you go
work on a tractor that's your responsibility don't be bringing no babies over here to be handing out
your dad tells it like it is it sounds like yeah, oh, dad's very blunt with Jeremy and Jeremy's friend Josh.
Whenever they do, he's like, I got a shit list, and you're on it right now.
He's like, I'm going to put it right up here.
He writes Jeremy's name on a magic marker on the side of the shop.
He writes Jeremy's name.
He goes, he draws a line.
He's like, on this side is the shit list.
On this side is the good list.
Here you are.
One point for the shit list on this side is the good list here. You are one point for the shit list
Now you got to do one good thing for me to get off that because what had happened is like I don't Jeremy had borrowed Some money or he had borrowed he borrowed dad's truck and then did something rough with it like when it came back the the toolbox
Had slid all the way to the you know back on the bed
Which meant he had to really accelerate fast
to make the toolbox slide.
And Dad's like, all right, there you go.
And he returned it in that condition?
Yes.
He didn't notice.
He didn't notice that.
Oh, okay.
Because he just went to town and came right back.
Dad's like, see?
You've been hot-rodding my truck around town.
He's like, you just went to the gas station
to get some cigarettes?
Look at this.
He's like, one point for the shit list.
And then there was another time Jeremy was supposed to help him work on a truck.
He's like, you said you were coming.
You were supposed to be here.
You went off with that little girl.
One more point to the shit list.
He's literally got a list up there where Jeremy and Josh have like,
they're in the shit list right now.
I keep a shit list too.
And how people got on it dr shiv on the shit list
there's some guy's steam id on there because he's killed colin son of a bitch he killed colin
hilarious one of those guys just has a date and it's 2012. No, it's not.
It's June of 2015.
Okay.
Here's a guy who got put on the shit list and then it looks like
he donated $10 during a live stream
to get off it.
A betrayal in something or another
and he paid $10 to get off it.
He betrayed me in survival games and then he paid $10
and got off the list.
I can't believe you have a list.
Man's got to have a shit list.
Ask Dad.
He'll tell you.
Yeah, so he wrote his right on the side of the fucking shop, though.
I feel like that's a commitment.
I like that.
I went over there the other day,
and I saw a little piece of engineering
that I thought you might find was funny.
So my dad's friend has a gas tank that goes in an old Chevelle or something like that. It's
a steel gas tank and on the inside it was disgusting. It had been sitting so long. It
had like lots of rust in there and bad gas. So they got all the bad gas out but it's still
just covered in rust on the inside of the gas tank. So they lashed the gas tank to a
tractor tire. Like the back tire of a tractor
they raised the tractor up off the ground
put it in low gear
and now it's rotating
and they fill the gas tank up
with a couple pounds of sand
and a couple pounds of gravel
and it's just sitting there spinning, tumbling
and like
a little palm full of
sand and rust will fall out every time it makes a rotation.
And it's just over there all day.
They're polishing that fucking gas tank like that.
I wonder how that works.
I have no idea.
Yeah, I wonder what the inside will be like.
I would have used a liquid, but I think theirs might be better.
I don't know.
I'm going to get a flashlight and check it out tomorrow
when I go over there.
They've had it running for two days though.
I'd imagine it's probably polished up in there
between the sand and the rocks.
I mean, it's just turning all day.
Yeah.
So loud.
I've never seen anything like that.
They basically made a giant rock tumbler.
It's pretty cool.
I've never seen that before.
I started carrying a flashlight recently.
I use it every day. I wish I had a flashlight flashlight recently. I use it every day. Like I wish I had
a flashlight to carry. I need it so often. I here, I can show you. I can't find any of mine. I've got
a couple. I, I keep track of my pocket stuff. Like I don't really lose my keys or my knife or
whatever. Like they're just permanently there. This thing, Mini ML, I guess.
I was going to do a video about my everyday carry.
I looked into it and there's two kinds of like what I consider pocket carry flashlights.
One has a AA battery and it's not as bright.
It doesn't last as long, but it's a battery that you sort of bump into every day.
You might have some AA's, brand new ones in a drawer right now.
Now this is a CR123 battery, and it's brighter and it lasts longer,
but you might not have any CR123 batteries.
For some people, that's a requirement to have everyday batteries.
But I just bought $18 worth of them on Amazon.
And now they're, you know, I keep a lot of batteries in my house.
I have a server room and in there on the shelves, there's like, I don't even know.
I probably have 40 AA's and a bunch of C's and a bunch of AAA's. And now I have whatever, you know, 20 CR123's.
And I just like having batteries in stock.
Yeah.
And I love this thing.
It has three brightnesses.
I think the way people show this is in their hand.
But, like, you turn it on, you turn it on, and it gets brighter still.
Yeah.
That show up, right?
Yeah, it's very bright.
Yeah.
It's super bright.
Like, these flashlights nowadays are amazing.
This little thing, like it'll light up the side of a barn from 40 feet away.
Like, you know, the hillside.
It's really cool.
And when I bought it, I read online, someone was like, it has to be 100 lumens.
I think it's 120 some lumens.
And I thought, all right, yeah, yeah, bright, bright is really important. I use
the lowest setting, the first one, the most. It seems like, okay, for example, yesterday,
we were about to play zombies. And I wanted to get, I figured out a way to get my headset
connected to both Skype and the Xbox at the same time. But I had to go in the server rack and like
move some wires around. And it's a nightmare to work in there so you turn on the flashlight and all of a sudden i can read every like little label
you know you know there's like a little there's usually earphones or a mic to let you know like
which one to plug it into in the dark that's tough for me turn on the flashlight perfect
and some of our rooms have remote controls for the ceiling fans, but the remote control will get lost in a bed.
So now you can't turn the light on until you find the remote for the light
in the dark in the sheet somewhere.
Flashlight makes it easy.
I use the flashlight constantly.
If I go outside, it's in the dark.
We have dogs, which means that there's poop in the yard.
Some amount of poop is in the yard.
And flashlight, light your way, and you can watch your step.
I use the flashlight every day.
I don't regret the buying choice at all.
Yeah.
Oh, let me tell you what my dad's – I do need a flashlight.
Let me tell you what my dad's dog did.
He's got that – what is it?
Doberman Pinscher named
Chopper and sometimes when they come home at night, Chopper doesn't want to get out
of the truck. So dad will just leave him in the truck overnight. He'll sleep in there.
Well, Chopper decided he wanted out of the truck and the window was cracked like this
much. So he bit the window and shattered it out and then just got out. So I went over there yesterday, and Dad had a window repairman out there
putting new windows in his truck.
The dog just bit the window and shattered it out.
That's pretty badass.
Never seen that before.
No.
You could see, because the windows were tinted previously.
They still are, kind of, but they're laying in the back of of the truck and you could see where he had bitten it and broken it
and then just i guess laid the rest of it out of the out of the truck so i guess he won't be
spending the night in the truck anymore i guess not stupid chopper so how many dogs does your dad have now? I don't know. Let's see. Three, four, five, six.
Oh, damn.
That's a lot of dogs.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, all the dogs that get left there on that road, like abandoned, he takes them in.
So it's an ever-fluctuating number.
He's got one that he just took to the vet.
It had a broken leg.
And I think it was $650 to have the surgery
and put a pin in the dog's leg.
And then he gets the dog back
and the pin has backed out.
So every time the dog moves its leg,
it's cutting him internally.
And so they're like,
oh, sorry about that.
That'll be $650 more.
And he's like,
but I paid you to do the job and you and you didn't do it
why is it another 650 so he was all bummed out about that yesterday he's gonna have to
do you have a like dog apocalypse a month ago like yeah yeah four died yeah four yeah
he had lots of dogs.
He's had as many as 12 or 14 before.
Are they out?
They're all outdoor dogs, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Well, I mean, he's got a little like he's got a tiny like Jack, Jack Russell Terrier
type dog that like sleeps with him and like like stays with him all the time.
But the rest of those dogs are more like farm dogs. Most of them spend the night at the at the shop over in the farm
they've just wonder if the other dogs look at that terrier like the head of slave households
back in the day he's he's in charge like like all the other dogs won't fuck with him they know not
to mess with him even like chopper the the big Doberman Pinscher,
he could literally eat Rambo.
But Rambo will be sitting in my dad's lap
and Chopper will come by and Rambo will just bite
his lip and like,
fuck him up, bite him really bad
and Chopper will just go,
literally turn the other cheek.
He'll look away. He'll turn
away and face away from him so Rambo can't
get anything that he can hurt anymore. He'll just away. He'll turn away and like face away from so Rambo can't get anything that he can hurt anymore
Well, he'll just take it
Damn it Rambo. I don't like Rambo too much. This is not a flattering story
He's a mean little fuck like like if you get too close to dad
He'll come after you try to bite you but he won't bite me because I guess he loves me, too
He's known me for 10 or 15 years
however old that little fucker is so like I'll come up and try to grab Dad's shirt and start shaking him and stuff.
And Rambo will be like,
but gumming me.
He won't commit.
He'll just be putting on a show for anybody who's watching, I guess.
He's like,
I can't let anybody watch you bluffing up the bar.
I gotta defend, but just between me and you, I won't bite real hard.
But he's fully growling and snarling and spitting, but he's gumming me.
He's better than Dad's last dog, Hank.
That dog, he really would bite me.
He would draw blood on a regular basis.
He was so protective.
All right.
Well, I think you need to call it a show.
Yeah, I guess so.
You got places to be.
I do.
Go do some stuff too all right very good
well that was pk and episode 68 i hope you guys enjoyed it yeah