Painkiller Already - PKN #74

Episode Date: January 22, 2016

This week on PKN... We learn about Josh's girlfriend.......

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We're live. We're live. It happened. Go on. So Josh is talking to me about his girlfriend and this baby and everything. Have I discussed how old his girlfriend is? Has that been a topic of discussion? No, I don't think so. Yes! So I've been told before, he's 21. He just turned 21 because we got him his carry permit and he went and got himself a 1911 and you know he's packing heat these days so i just turned 21 you know months ago a couple months ago his girlfriend is 40 whoa wait no
Starting point is 00:00:34 this is new new you didn't mention that is this i don't know it i didn't know it i just learned it this had been left out my dad my cousin everybody had just left this out like it's not just the fucking most ridiculous part of the whole situation is that this 21 year old guy who is totally dim um is it has a 40 year old girlfriend that he's knocked up twice now this was the second time he'd knocked her up. And it's just a real shit show over there. But she lost the baby, had a miscarriage over the weekend. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:01:14 That's the good part about women over 40. Yeah, exactly. Built-in abortion clinics. Down syndrome. Oh, God. Okay. So he's like, I think when he told my dad my dad went good but his his viewpoint on it was like well you know i'm she was real tore up about it she was just got she lost it when they told her you know they don't sugarcoat it or nothing at the hospital
Starting point is 00:01:39 when they tell you they just come out and said it and i'm thinking like of course they did what the fuck did you expect? So I'm just picturing this 40-year-old woman who has had miscarriages in the past losing her shit over a miscarriage. She's totally like a maniac. She's got to be to be dating a 21-year-old. Have you seen pictures?
Starting point is 00:01:59 No, I got to, right? I got to get on that. I got to get on that shit. Good fucking call. I got to get on that immediately. I'll get on that i gotta get on that shit uh good good fucking call i gotta get on that immediately i'll get on facebook uh uh later i gotta do some now i'm invested oh my god it's such a fucking nightmare this guy you know he lives at and i'm not shitting on his lifestyle or any of that i'm just saying this is a guy who still lives at home with his parents and doesn't
Starting point is 00:02:21 have gainful employment you know he works for me part-time and it's just not a ton of money. He's getting $10 an hour. He's a laborer. He's a day laborer. He was looking forward to this thing. He's like, yeah, I think it'd be a good thing. Is his next move
Starting point is 00:02:40 voice acting? I always thought it was one of Kyle's dogs explaining this story I can get him on the show if you guys want but I feel like honestly I feel like it's mean to get him on the show I honestly feel like it's mean to get him on here
Starting point is 00:02:56 because like how are you going to have a normal conversation with him like he's not so dull that he's like a whack packer and he wouldn't even get it he wouldn't realize we're ridiculing him. I think he'd catch on fairly quickly and it'd be kind of sad. I don't want to do that. It's about time we start assembling our own band.
Starting point is 00:03:12 For PKA that we call in here and there. I brought that up once. Everybody shit on that idea. I'm not going to try again. Was it the hosts or the fans that shit on the idea? The fans, I think. The fans didn't like that idea of us getting a whack pack they thought that was too uh um i guess too cliche i
Starting point is 00:03:31 guess we were copying too much uh of uh the howard stern show but in any case every radio show in history well i was ever on xm that had a band of weirdos like Like, they all did that. I guess. Yeah, they all had someone that was... Opie and Anthony had Bobo, like, just complete retarded people. This guy who had, like, mentally retarded, he had, like, 60 penis operations when he was born,
Starting point is 00:03:55 and so it, like, got all gnarled and weird-looking, and if you talked to him about sex at all, he would get an erection, like, pre-cum would leak out onto their carpet on the floor, and then if he switched conversation
Starting point is 00:04:04 to the Mets, he would immediately lose lose it and then you just switch it back up and then down and they would do that over and it was so just fucked up and weird like thank god it wasn't a video but yeah anything compared to that is less and the other thing is this guy has jeremy's spending habits like jeremy uh is is well known to to be very poor, on the verge of losing his vehicle poor. Like, oh, I don't know how I'm going to pay my next bill on this truck or this insurance payment or whatever. Everything could fall apart
Starting point is 00:04:36 this week. That happens to him on a regular basis, but Jeremy would still go out and splurge $200 or $300 on drinking or something like that. Josh is just as bad. This motherfucker's got a brand new 1911 today this guy owns like two guns now he's got his 22 rifle and and the new 1911 guess what he buys fucking 45 gun safe he's ready to he's got the same size safe that i got uh i mean i got three of them but but still he's got a big like i'm a gun guy kind of safe. He's got one
Starting point is 00:05:08 that holds a bunch of long guns. I don't even have that. Yeah, you don't need it. It's absurd that he went. He spent $600, which was actually a really good deal. It's a whole long, not entertaining story about how he got more safe for his money than he normally would have, but he didn't need the safe that he got to begin with. I'm torn. Because this is a buy it nice or buy it twice thing like it my gun safe can it can hold my guns it can but it's like a fucking tetris shit show to get them all in there and if i want to take one out like it hypothetically i needed to get one out in a hurry four more would fall over out the door you know because it it it holds like whatever it is 16 or
Starting point is 00:05:46 22 guns but it holds like 11 of them well yeah yeah i mean that's the same truth with the same is true with those big gun safes that hold 40 or 50 you know it'll say 40 or 50 but they mean like 30 and 35 and change or something like that right i feel like it would hold my low teen whenever i have and i've got like so many like random like it would hold my low teen whenever i have and i've got like so many like random like little accessories that go with the guns i'm looking around me for like barrels but like i don't know like there's multiple barrels for things and by the time it's all set i got a lot of uppers and lowers that are separate from one another with ar-15 so by the time it's all said and done like it never gets to the number they say. But in any case, that guy is just – I think it's almost worth paying him to come help me just so I can get more material.
Starting point is 00:06:31 He is absurd. I'm thinking – so I ran the Jeremy Quill of Pain past him the other day. I didn't suggest that he do it. I just described it to him. And he kind of speaks in gibberish a little bit. You planted the seed. I planted the seed. And he said something along the lines of,
Starting point is 00:06:49 oh, you should have asked me. And I was thinking, like, I might. I'll wait until the next pregnancy scare when you think you need a couple hundred bucks for diapers and the Josh Wheel of Pain will be born. We could dial it back a bit like i really feel like the tattoo in particular would cut me off if it was just eating funny stuff and surviving a taser to which i am immune then it would be no problem but the tattoo it's a showstopper for me
Starting point is 00:07:17 so that's too much and you can't do it quickly shot glass of hot sauce you think that's i think that's a good one we could even pimp We could even pimp the sauce, right. No, we've got to get something a lot harder than hot wings of redemption. By the way, I'm going to mention it more on the show, but both of those, the knives that we picked are out of stock. That's all moving forward. That's in their hands now. They're going to come when they're going to come.
Starting point is 00:07:40 And the hot sauce is dependent on whether we're going to do the thing we talked about privately. I don't know if that's a secret or not, but we were going to meet at Wing's house and do that whole thing. All that's holding us back from the hot sauce, I've already agreed to numbers with everyone. That's all done except for your samples being sent off. That's happening tomorrow. I might get samples from two different companies, like a total of six bottles each or something like that, but I got to see if they're going to make me pay for all the shipping. But in any case, that's all done too. We're just waiting on me taking the snapshots of Mr. Redemption. I got his gear back here. I've got his chef's hat and there's a there's i got an apron i got an apron for him
Starting point is 00:08:25 although now that i'm looking at this apron i'm not sure if i got a large enough apron now that i actually took five seconds to look at this thing so we may do something about that but did you order that online amazon yeah that was an amazon that's i forget what my wife bought might have been a chair or something and it came in it was like a child's chair it was ridiculous oh i i just did the same thing i so uh my girlfriend has a lamp but i don't have a lamp on my side i broke my lamp a while back and i was like you know what i'm gonna get this lamp problem solved right here and now and i bought this little uh like i don't know stainless steel plain jane looking lamp off of amazon it showed up and it's a Hobbit lamp.
Starting point is 00:09:05 It's, it's, it's six inches tall. It's six inches tall. It's, it's that big. And you had to screw it together in three pieces too. Like it's, especially if it's a good deal, right? You're like, you know what? This online shopping is great. This was a curiously inexpensive lamp.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And then it comes in and you're like, ah, yeah, right. A $9 lamp. Looks like that. I got $9 worth of lamp so kyle i like your hoodie oh yeah yeah um i'm gonna kiss i i don't know how to kiss their ass enough on on the the the material this is made out of today was a really cold day and i forgot my coat and all i had was this and this kept me warm it really did it kept the wind didn't cut right through it like everybody else's clothes were. I feel like this is genuinely a warm hoodie even though it's not big and thick or anything. It doesn't bunch up at your stomach like a lot of them do because the material is so light. It's really, really soft. I'm really
Starting point is 00:09:57 digging this thing. I'm a big fan. I like my cup too. I got that big frosted mug and it's a picture of me. I've just been drinking at anything all wink winking at it looking at my girlfriend and winking and she's just is she getting tired of that yet oh she got tired the first time i did it she's like that's the last fucking thing you needed the last thing you need was another mug with your face on it i got the cliff hutchinson mug It's downstairs. Settle for less. I like it. It's great. The tagline's fantastic.
Starting point is 00:10:29 So very exciting. All that stuff's great. I like the merchandise stuff. That's hilarious. I'm glad that we got the really high quality stuff too. I got a t-shirt as well. Just a regular PKT. And that's also really soft.
Starting point is 00:10:41 It's good stuff. I guess it's the American apparel premium level, whatever. It's the only level to get. It's the only, you know, if you're not a poor fuck, you know, go all the way. Or did I? I highly recommend you pick one up. So I've been watching Barnacly's Nerdgasm videos lately, and I like them. Taylor, I don't think you were on the show with him.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Do you know him? No, I don't recall him were on the show with him. Do you know him? No, I don't recall him. I just got milk and cookies. So he's a reviewer. He's wearing a cape. Bring her back. Jackie, come here. She is wearing a cape.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Is that a cape you're wearing? Actually, this is a poncho. Oh, okay. But I do have capes. You look very spooky, Jackie. Funny. I should get my other cape and really show you the cape.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Make it happen. Okay, okay. She'll be back. How many capes do I have? Six or seven. So a reasonable number. You know, I got some as gifts You know, none of them warm enough But I got them as gifts
Starting point is 00:11:53 But yeah, let me get the better cape Nothing's worse than when you're opening Gifts and they're like, oh my god Another cape Thank you, Patreons Another cape. We're in a fitness city. Well, thank you, Patreons. You're going to see the cape show that you've all been waiting for. What was I going to say?
Starting point is 00:12:14 I lost my train of thought. I did, too. Everything went to capes as soon as you walked by. So I've been intentionally not talking. Nerdgasm or something. Oh, that's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I started listening to headphone reviews and stuff.
Starting point is 00:12:28 I bought another headset. I should turn this off. And I've just been going through all the different tech reviews because a lot of the guys who do PC parts and stuff sort of double as audiophile nerds. And Barnacle's videos are actually – I like them, like they're my cup of tea. He has a running joke where he'll say like, this headset's for poor people, and it's,
Starting point is 00:12:53 he puts it down and knocks it, and he's just the right level of expert to me, like, he's kind of like nouveau expert. Like he has whatever, like eight different headsets and a bunch of different amplifiers and he knows what he's talking about but he's not so over the deep end that he believes in like this mumbo jumbo that can't be felt or discovered you know which is more common than you might guess in the audio world and uh i don't know i've just been watching a bunch of barnacles videos i was like god I didn't even know how good these were. So that's that.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Is he a pretty big guy? I've never even heard of him until you mentioned him. His channel, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I would guess he has like 300,000 subs, something like that. I'd have to look him up. But yeah, he's doing pretty well. Let me look and see.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Let me look and see. I will know in one second. He has... Oh, I was way off. He has 630,000 subs. Ooh. Yeah. He's getting pretty big.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Yeah, he's doing great. Anyway. Are you following your flyers, Woody? You're on a little bit of a tear. Three games in a row. Three games in a row? Oh, my stars. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:11 That's pretty good. Do you follow it at all? Like even in the middle of the year just to check up? Because the Florida Panthers went on a 12-game winning streak, which is fucking ridiculous. You never expect that. Right. The Lightning maybe, but not the Panthers. Yeah, Lightning aren't doing too hot.
Starting point is 00:14:26 But they're typically the stronger Florida team, I would say. Yeah, usually. Only one with a cup. So Philadelphia are now 18-15, I see. We're very proud. Carolina is 18-18. And I know that Kyle keeps up with the Winnipeg Jets because those were the Atlanta Thrashers.
Starting point is 00:14:49 What's their mascot again? The Winnipeg Jets. Ah, go Jets. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Vroom, vroom. That's the cheer. I think, right? Yeah, I'm positive it is. I know you fly up there. That's the cheer.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I think, right? Yeah, I'm positive it is. I know you fly up there. I wasn't even aware that the Thrashers had gone for like a year after it happened. I was like, hey, you want to go to a Thrashers game? They're gone. I was like, what are you talking about? Nah, every night it's the same place as the Hawks.
Starting point is 00:15:23 You know, next to CNN plays. Come on, they're there. What do you mean they're gone? Like, the players left? They lost the team? They're still there. You know, they got the flags and everything, at least. There's guys and they're playing hockey wearing the... No, they're gone.
Starting point is 00:15:37 And that was the second time they left Atlanta. Because they came the first time and they were like, this is a real big southern city. We can get enough people. Like, they got one in Tampa. Let's give it a go. They left and then they thought they'd give you guys another shot. And then they lost you again.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Cape Talk. I only went twice, but I really enjoyed it. Check this out. Jackie, Cape Talk. Sure, Cape Talk. Here we have a fabulous top from 8th century Transylvania. This is green. This is at least Lord of the Rings.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Lord of the Rings. It's a little wrinkly because I didn't hang it. As you see there, there's the buckle. That's one of the leaves of Lothlorien. There you go. You gotta wear it with the boots. That's from the wood elves, I believe. From the Samwise Gamgee collection. Not idly do those leaves fall, Ron.
Starting point is 00:16:23 The cape that you wear when you go out, all fancy dressed. That's a nice cape right there. Yeah, it's like almost shiny if you're getting this. So what are some of the things that a cape does that no other article of clothing can do? I imagine that it does like two things at the same time. Like maybe, what advantage does it have over, say, the shirt? Yes, or a shirt. Well, it's not a shirt.
Starting point is 00:16:50 It's a coat. I use it as a coat. So when you're driving. What? Heat retention. Isn't that pretty bad in it? Seems like it would all just kind of flowing. Well, I wanted something warmer.
Starting point is 00:17:03 I can't answer this. She's not answering. But the deal is she wears it like a coat it keeps her warmer yes but it's not restrictive like a coat you know how sometimes you're almost fighting it to move and are there pockets no not in this where do you keep your where do you keep your potions my potions oh we're all so funny i rock the capes right all the guys at park horse that i look great in my cape so i'm sure all the fans my mom got me a new one do you want to model the new one model the new one you're only going to model
Starting point is 00:17:34 the one cape i was thought you maybe you tried this one on oh well naturally hold on yeah i'd like to see some there yeah you can both so what i want to see like some if you were luring a child into your gingerbread home, which one would you wear? I would probably wear that black one. I agree. Yes. It's pretty spooky.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I don't know. Maybe something, maybe a more welcoming cape. See, Jackie's actually looks like a style of clothes. The one that Woody's wearing looks like he's a magician. Look at this. You're funny. I kind of like it. I can see why you rock tapes. It's like walking around with a blanket on.
Starting point is 00:18:13 That one in particular just looks like a big blanket. You just love it. Jackie's looks very comfortable. Yes. What's the difference between a cape and a shawl, though? A shawl would be shorter and smaller and wouldn't go past your butt. It would just be wrapped around your shoulders. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Very interesting. Woody, wear it seriously. I want to see how that one compares. Versus a poncho. He wants you to wear it seriously. It's impossible. Yeah, you can't seriously wear a cape. See? You look cape. See?
Starting point is 00:18:45 You look awesome. See, ready for a night out on the town. You need to wear boots and you'd be great. Murdering prostitutes in late 18th century London. Yeah, he looks like he should be crouching behind Washington as they cross the Delaware. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Totally. I think we all had the same textbook what news from the east these are some of my many capes you're off camera i'm sorry i'm sorry this is just a sampling yeah it's just now I can say I do I liked the one you came in with more than the one you're wearing now Yeah the green one looks nice The border makes it look just like a blanket
Starting point is 00:19:32 But the other one did not Agreed and the tassels Yes But it is soft Well warmer I think It's soft We're all soft I feel like we need to go someplace else
Starting point is 00:19:48 for this kind of touching is there a like any holes or head like now that's her on it or is it it's just a square piece of fabric it's a square and then you take it in one of the corners they kind of split it down toward the oh, okay Yeah, yes, like they took a rectangle and cut a piece of it But if you hold that up like that woody, you know when they looks like Jared's underwear before he lost all that way I thought you looked like Batman. It looks like a woman's panties. Like the fattest woman ever's panties. Yes, it is. That's like those women, those people who get so fat
Starting point is 00:20:32 they like grow into the couch. Sticking and fusing. Yeah, I heard about that. That happened recently. The lady was stuck on her toilet at her boyfriend's place and she had been on that toilet for like two years or something and her ass had grown To and like fused to the toilet seat, so they had to pry it off the off the
Starting point is 00:20:51 Toilet and it stayed stuck to her ass So until they could they had to like Disconnect the actual bowl lid Yeah, I guess the seat. I think Yeah, okay. Well those are the capes thank you very much next we'll do ponchos next week okay ponchos and capes okay bye cape talk cape talk well i like to think the patreons were in for a show right there they were yeah yeah we were just talking about fat people
Starting point is 00:21:26 who sit in one place for so long that their flesh fuses with what they're sitting upon. That's a horrible thing. How does the flesh grow? I understand with fabric if you sit on the couch it'll grow together almost.
Starting point is 00:21:42 I like to think of it but you know how if you like it'll like grow together almost i like to think of it like porcelain how would that work but but you know how like if you um like if you if you chain a bicycle to a tree for a really long time the tree grows around the bike and that i i think it's a similar phenomenon great comparison it does i know you said that jokingly but that that makes a lot no no that's where i was going to like like barbed wire will do that you know You know, if you nail barbed wire to the tree and it's stretched taut, it just kind of grows over it. That's what happens with fat people, too.
Starting point is 00:22:10 They sit in one place until they become the chair. That's a shocking, shocking part of it. You can't even be morbidly obese and pull that off. You have to be whatever is the next step after that. Which is bigger? Is it super obese or morbidly obese? Probably super morbidly obese. You can't combine the two.
Starting point is 00:22:28 That's like Power Rangers or something. You can't... I'm pretty sure that that's what it is. Super morbid. Super morbidly obese. I'm looking. Imagine how bad you must feel if you're so fat
Starting point is 00:22:42 that the word morbid doesn't do it justice. Super obese is the king of the hill. Ah. Yes. That is when your BMI is over 50. Holy shit. Oh, that's great. That's when if
Starting point is 00:22:58 someone starts rolling you like in Willy Wonka, you'll just continue to go like a big blueberry. Yeah. Yeah, over 50. So that means that if Willy Wonka, you'll just continue to go like a big blueberry. Yeah. Yeah, over 50. So that means that if you weighed 300 pounds, 150 of it would have to be pure fat. The other 150 would be like musculature, organs, bones.
Starting point is 00:23:19 It seems like it's hard to pull off. Jesus. I don't even know. I'm going to look at a BMI calculator and see how big that is. I think Woody just thinks you did one. Or at least an excerpt from one.
Starting point is 00:23:35 So I don't know if either of you caught the newest episode or the season premiere of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I did. Oh man, it's very good. Somehow I ended up watching it three times, so I think I really took it in. I really, really liked it.
Starting point is 00:23:54 I liked that it was kind of a throwback episode. It was kind of a redo of something they'd done before. I liked the whole setup, and it got pretty ridiculous. I liked it a lot. was a good episode I'm looking forward to really middle of the road for me as far as episodes like I I wasn't ever laughing hysterically like I have at prior episodes but at the same time it wasn't like a couple of the ones last season we're watching it I was just like they're they're stretching the characters too far like I liked it, but what's that episode where Dennis is yelling,
Starting point is 00:24:26 like, I am a golden god, about his car? That's called The Gang Misses the Boat. Yeah, when that happens, you know Dennis is a piece of shit narcissist, like sociopath, but even watching that, it's like, all right, let's tone back a little bit because this is not believable. Well, I think the whole point of that episode was that they were examining, they were all examining their characters and how ridiculous their characters had become.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Because remember, that's when you had Charlie and Dee getting romantic with each other and them at the diner talking about, like, hey, when's the last time we ate together? Yeah, when's the last time we went to a diner? He's like, should I eat the beak first? And she's like, you don't have to eat the beak. You don't always have to be ridiculous. So I see what you're saying, though, with that one. I like this one a lot. I don't want to spoil
Starting point is 00:25:07 it for Woody, so I won't go into details, but I laughed at that a lot in a few moments. I like the guest star guy. I'd seen him in the office before, so I thought it was a good episode. Better than average, but not a great one. Yeah, the guy that they had
Starting point is 00:25:24 is the other guy playing their game with them. Wasn't that the Jewish guy who tried to buy their bar like 10 years ago in the show? Like one of the first episodes? Uh-uh. That's the guy. He was in The Office. He played the boss in New York. Oh, Michael's boss.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Yeah, Michael's boss in New York. So did you guys see that DiCaprio won a Golden Globe for The Revenant? Yeah, those don't count. I still haven't seen it, but I was surprised. Ricky Gervais at that event said something like, he's like, these things don't mean shit. He's like, and I got three of them.
Starting point is 00:26:02 I use one as a doorstop, one to hit burglars over the head with and the other is a dildo he put it funny though he's like the other one i keep next to the bed and and you're like huh just to be clear what i'm saying is i take that golden globe and shove it up my ass and this is the fourth time they've invited me back like nobody cares about he was real harsh on mel gibson um he was pretty fucking hard on um the gibson thing was funny because it like it seemed real to me like he he was like oh awkward whatever and then mel gibson took a shot back and then he comes back around and is like, hey, what exactly are sugar tits, huh?
Starting point is 00:26:46 Which was part of his drunken rant. And I felt like Ricky Gervais, is that how you say it, Gervais? Yeah, you pronounce the S, yeah. I think you guys could be fucking with me, I don't know. No, no, no, I'm being genuine with you. You did it correctly. Yeah, it is true. Yes, you pronounced the S.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Okay. I felt like he kind of, I don't know. Mel Gibson, it's never really wise to. Mel had a good comeback. Did you catch it? No. He said something about how every time I see Ricky, it always reminds me to get my colonoscopy because I see him once every three years because Ricky's an asshole.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Oh. And then he said something to Ricky when they were having that little exchange about what the hell does sugar tits mean. He said something like, why don't you ask whoever asked it. And he said something about, I'll put you to sleep or something like that.
Starting point is 00:27:36 He literally threatened a little physical violence there. Wait, so why are people pissy about Mel Gibson? What did he do now? You don't remember? It's old. I remember his voicemails from a long time ago. So Mel got arrested for DUI. Mel had some good voicemails, too.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Oh, did he? Okay. Yeah, he left a few on his wife's. So did Alec Baldwin. Worthless! They're so funny. If you haven't listened to those, go listen. Just look up on YouTube, Mel Gibson so he left his voicemails and those are very embarrassing of course but then
Starting point is 00:28:11 he gets pulled over dui i think it was a female police officer and he starts going after the jews and the blacks and talking how he owns all of malibu and he calls her sugar tits and she as she's arresting him he's just spewing all this incredibly embarrassing stuff about the Jews and about women and blacks and anything anybody he could piss off he's just dropping it. Everyone who's not him is getting
Starting point is 00:28:36 the piece. Yeah yeah and since then nobody's really had anything to do with him he did this puppet movie where he had a beaver on his hand I remember he did that but then since then like nothing. To go from the Patriot to puppets. That's a big drop off. He was William Wallace, goddammit.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Come on. Yeah. So I don't watch any of the award shows, but you were saying that people make fun of the Golden Globes. What's the hierarchy? Like what's the good one? I guess the Academy Awards. For movies, it's Oscars, I'd say, right?
Starting point is 00:29:07 And then is Academy Awards TV? The Academy Awards is the Oscars. Oh, okay. Well, then we were agreeing. Okay. And then there's another one that's just TV. The Emmys? Maybe that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:29:21 So I want to say Oscars and Emmys, if I understand this right, occupy the top spot, and then Golden Globe are for TV and film, right? Yeah, that sounds right to me. But I've never been a big fan. They're the AHL of stupid Hollywood prizes. I've only ever cared about the Academy Awards because I often use that to pick movies that I should watch my god I haven't seen those and I do that too. You know if something wins an Oscar even nominated for one I'll be like oh, you know
Starting point is 00:29:53 One got by me. I should go check it out unless unless it's got black people in it. I do that every time Yeah, I didn't see that that slave movie, but but I watched all the others they were giving me a hard time on the subreddit about my mood my taste in movies and this is going somewhere and uh it it it was real harsh too right it wasn't like like when they tease me about liking pink it's a totally different thing right like it's fun it's whatever i like girl music it's what these guys are like fuck woody he has no taste he's meant to be completely ignored, et cetera. Woody thinks he's a movie buff, which is not true.
Starting point is 00:30:28 I think I'm just a person who likes movies, like a regular person who likes movies. And he's like, Wings asked him one question and shut him down. So Wings asked me if I had seen the 1944 black and white film The Lifeboat. You haven't? I have now. I watched it because Wings got me interested in it. And Wings was right. That was a good movie.
Starting point is 00:30:50 It was a good movie, and it was all character development, which was interesting. Like, it really wasn't, there's no videography to be seen in it, and it was a pretty good film. But anyway, Wings needed a small favor. It was nothing. And he had seen the thread. And he's like, by the way, the revenants sucked.
Starting point is 00:31:10 I was like, fucking yeah. Fucking yeah, right? They're all giving me shit about this. Saying I can't hang with like Wings and movie selection. And Wings backed me. I don't know why Wings. It doesn't matter anyway. Some of this stuff is opinion based
Starting point is 00:31:26 if you what you're really saying i don't know i don't think you're saying that it's a badly made movie or it's an unenjoyable movie you're saying i didn't like it what i've always said yeah yeah and i've been really clear about that you know i might even say it's not my cup of tea you know maybe i've said it sucks after i get pressed or something. But but and I taper it with, you know, like I I'll say, hey, Chiz liked it. And I think a lot of people are liking The Revenant. Right. Like I think by and large, I'm in the minority on this thing. And that's OK. I think it won Best Picture for didn't it?
Starting point is 00:31:58 Did it? Yeah. Yeah. You know, probably everyone listening to this has a movie that they didn't really like that was widely loved everywhere like titanic i think is a big one you know a lot of people hated uh birdman but i i mean it was yeah the critics love that thing so um so yeah maybe you know you out there that you know not liked a popular movie at some point too i watched uh i'm sorry would you bring up that'll do i watched a movie called sicario last night um because i was interested because i was reading a little bit about the camera that they used it's a digital camera called an alexa something or another um it shoots really wide 65 millimeter one yeah it's really it's beautiful and i was reading a little
Starting point is 00:32:41 bit about the colors now one of the guys who was either used the camera or or was behind the the creation of it was saying that it's just better than film that it uh that it captures color better than film and after watching that movie I was really blown away um they're going I like the camera a lot the new Star Wars that's not done by Abrams is it Rogue Nation does's a new row rogue something another yeah okay I think they're using that 65 millimeter camera that you like for that so it'll kind of be interesting if if this is what I hope it is and we're watching two Star Wars like overlap each other like Call of Duty did for a while then I need to go like back to back yeah but they're
Starting point is 00:33:23 completely disconnected. That's how I think of the Call of Duty comparison, right? And if that's what we get, and I would love that, I'd see every one of them, it'll be fun to see which one has better videography. That Sicario movie had Emily Blunt and
Starting point is 00:33:41 the guy from No Country for Old Men, the main guy who had the money was running from Javier Barden's character and another guy in it. But it's basically about CIA and FBI running this whole thing to mess with this kingpin
Starting point is 00:33:58 in Mexico, this cartel guy. And all the inner workings and there's torture and violence and shootouts and the camera shootouts. Did you like it overall? Yeah. It's not like a Mission Impossible where you're like, ah, that was fun. At the end of it, you're like, yeah, that was some dark shit.
Starting point is 00:34:17 It was good, but it was a very realistic kind of movie, and it didn't have a happy, joy, joy kind of ending. Do you have any movies that were kind of negative like that that that you really liked real quick on sicario kyle uh did it bother you how she would always ask for cigarettes from people and then pretend to take one drag and then throw it out and walk on like along she did that four times throughout the movie where she's just just all stressed out about something happened. She's like, can you bum me one? Give her a cigarette. She lights it,
Starting point is 00:34:49 does a fake drag, and then it'll be like, Sicario, come over here! Like the other guy. She'll just throw it down and walk away. I hate little unbelievable things like that in movies where it's like, would you really do that to a guy? Take a cigarette and just throw it on the ground right in front of him after not even smoking it?
Starting point is 00:35:06 I noticed that she was asking for the smokes, but I didn't notice that she wasn't finishing them, I guess. Not even just not finishing, not even smoking them. What do you think they did to that guy in the room? You think he raped him in there? Was that a rape? I'm thinking it was a... Yeah, I don't think that's out of the question. Yeah, I heard some grunting.
Starting point is 00:35:22 I'm pretty sure there was a raping involved there. That guy meant business. One of the characters is motivated by the fact that the cartel cut his wife's head off and put his daughter in a vat of acid. So he really doesn't pull any punches when it comes to getting some information out of her. He'll give you
Starting point is 00:35:38 a wet relief to die for. He'll go, and the guy's going, get it out! Get it out! Get it out! He's just in there! And the guy's going, get it out, get it out, get it out! And he's just in there. Jesus, that's not even that bad. The guy's all beaten up in the back seat, and he's like, you know what the best part about you being so beat up is?
Starting point is 00:35:59 Nobody will notice a few more scratches. It's a pretty good movie. I noticed the uh the wide the wideness of the the frame immediately i was like i got my girlfriend i was like look at this look how wide this is how much we're seeing and i like that a lot i like um the i like the look of it it really had a benefit i felt to the storytelling i um i have a 1080p projector downstairs and in some ways i really like it like really like it we were watching um the martian recently and it was just a great experience the we have um good audio in the room too so it's cool but it's also like man at a 109 inches i don't know what the screen is like this 4k would make this even better and i looked into
Starting point is 00:36:46 it and it's expensive a 4k projectors that i'm seeing now are like eight grand so no joke i think i'll just chill yeah probably only you could get your hands on one from like a retired movie uh like place you know like a retired cinema if you could get theirs then you set up that big like 20 foot screen in the backyard just put on your own screenings back there i feel like i'd have to modify the room on the other side of the wall to have a projection like it's a half bath right like oh yeah this is our half bath slash projection room it's used for futurama i uh i would That's pretty cool. I saw they were going to shoot... Maybe we talked about it. They were going to shoot the next...
Starting point is 00:37:31 What's the Marvel movie with... Guardians of the Galaxy. The next Guardians of the Galaxy. They were shooting with those 8K cameras. Oh, really? Who makes the 8K camera? Red. Oh, that's right. Who makes the 8K camera? Red. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:37:45 That's right. And while obviously most cinemas shoot with those 4K projectors, I guess. A lot of them have dual 4K. Yeah, the IMAX ones. So you get 8K out of that. It's pretty legit. Do you get 8K out of it? Is that how that works? No, it's not how that works you're right so i thought it's just getting a bigger you're just getting yeah 8k
Starting point is 00:38:12 would be like four 4ks right you know like if you could picture these rectangles two 8ks will get you that or i'm sorry two 4ks will get you two rectangles, whereas an 8K would give you the diagonal. Am I wrong, or do they need to come up with a better simplified classification system for high-definition television? I feel like it is simplified. It's just the transition. If 1080p had always been referred to as 1K, or maybe it's 2K.
Starting point is 00:38:44 If 1080p was always called 2k then you'd know that like 4 is you know like this is a 2k and then 4k is diagonally this way so that gets you four of them and then 8k is diagonally that way again so that gets you four 4ks yeah but what i was gonna say you were having to deal with like 1080i or 720i I don't even remember what that meant interlaced yeah that's the one that gave you the combing effect in
Starting point is 00:39:14 movement stuff no but if you shoot in 4k and then show it in 2k it still looks better than if it were filmed in 2k and shown in 2k, it still looks better than if it were filmed in 2K and shown in 2K. So you're going to get a better looking than normal picture
Starting point is 00:39:30 out of this 8K camera, even though it's projected in 4K. A lot of people do that on YouTube right now. They film it in 4K and then down sample it to 1080p. Yeah, we did that on something. On the adventure videos, the PKA adventure videos, we did that. That's right, videos the pka adventure videos we did that that's right yeah yeah yeah we as in patrick did it all but yeah yeah yeah well we were producers
Starting point is 00:39:52 we were the executive producers i mean so we did it we kind of nagged him to do it faster so that's like pretty much doing it that's half the work yeah Yeah, that's management. That's management. I built a concrete... I built my thing to pour my concrete pad. I'm pouring my concrete pad and sitting that thing that I have to sit on a concrete pad there tomorrow. And then I think all of that should be sewn up soon.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Oh, I know what you're putting on there. Yes, Jesus Christ. It's the thing you took a trip for one time. Yeah, yeah. Get that thing all sorted and good to go. I got a couple of videos I want to film using that.
Starting point is 00:40:37 I've been putting off. We've actually been building sets lately. I thought it would be really cool for the flamethrower. Maybe I've said this on the show or I've told a few people, so stop me if I have, but I bought about 100 square hay bales. I don't know. For the castle building. Yeah, I'm going to build some kind of a castle
Starting point is 00:40:57 and I'm going to burn it the fuck down with a flamethrower. That's going to be really fun. I don't know what I'm going to build. If you're lucky, you'll make it to Glenn Beck's website like I did. really fun i don't know what i'm gonna build if you're lucky you'll make it to glenn beck's website like i did you should have a skit leading up to you burning the castle down like there's some sort of conflict in the castle and you save someone out of there real quickly in your russian voice and then you burn it down with maybe jeremy's in some sort of like bowser costume i don't know i don't know if this is safe but I picture your girlfriend dressed up like the princess from Mario Brothers and
Starting point is 00:41:27 Flame her out. I don't know. I haven't thought the whole thing through you can just do that in post I Should look at Chad one day and say and say that like you just add that post right? George fucking Lucas get back out there What the fuck do you think I am? Oh my, George fucking Lucas? Now get back out there. So I don't know what I'm going to do. I was looking for burn gel to put on me because I wanted,
Starting point is 00:41:53 I thought it'd be really funny if like I turn away from the camera and I'm burning things. And then when I turn back to the camera, my arm is just on fire and I seemingly don't notice and I'm gesturing with it and pointing at stuff. And like for a long period of time I'm just on fire but I can't find that burn gel and uh and with the napalm you had a really cool thing and I think it was real there was no gel or special effect but like you had burning on you and you're like huh you know and you just like whip off the like burning gook gel yeah yeah gel and it just like flames it i it seemed to me
Starting point is 00:42:27 to behave like burning plastic a little bit yeah it's um um it's a i've got some napalm mixed upstairs and it's it's a white powder that you mix with it but it's a it's a sticky thickening agent for for gasoline that uh that makes it burn hotter too. It burns very hot. So yeah, and that was like legit napalm that was stuck to my hand too. There was nothing store-bought about that. That came out of some old Vietnam-era canister along with the flamethrower. So yeah, that was a fun day. But this new thing I've got, the XM42 or an X15, I think they're called,
Starting point is 00:43:04 those seem safe in my opinion i was telling my dad i'm like yeah we're getting ready for the flamethrower video and he was like because he worries about he thinks that it's it's too dangerous but i'm just like not any not that dangerous i really don't feel that they are um i recommend them to everyone you sure you're not gonna reconsider that gel on your arm thing because If I can find some gel, find me some gel. I'll put it on. Yeah. I'll say this.
Starting point is 00:43:28 It's flammable. You should very much have the right extinguishing gear for this. If you're going to set 100 hay bales on fire, I'm not exactly sure how you plan for that. It's certainly not an extinguisher. So I've got a big, I think it's a thousand gallon water tank that's on like a wagon with a PTO and a big pressure wand. So it's basically a mobile fire truck. So it should be a problem.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Sounds like the thing, yeah. It's tractor powered? Oh, yeah. I think you should definitely get video of that. Yeah. It's one of those pressure washers that has so much power that you gotta you're like all right let me my footing right here all right it's a it's a be happy light on fire don't just do like you know he like patting it out like be like get my arm and like then they from that tractor
Starting point is 00:44:17 shoot you off with the hose giant giant extinguisher that'd be great I would be I've always wanted to do like a full burn like completely set me on fire um i just need the gear you know i'm more than don't do that it's gonna be uncomfortable talking to you with no eyebrows or lips for four hours you know it's there's a lot of stuff skin craft procedures explosions uh all sorts of height things like i'm pretty comfortable doing that if if there was a skydiving or bungee jumping or whatever i'd gladly go first i could give a fuck but being set on fire i'm not comfortable with that you seem enthusiastic about it but that's not one for me uh because i understand the science of it i understand how those burns work um and if i was gonna do it like it, I would get my best guys on it, Josh and Jeremy. I'd have the A-team on the field of play.
Starting point is 00:45:09 A-team? We'd bring the A-team. This is team Wingdings at best. You know you're going back with a W. You know you're going back with a W. No, you're not. You're going back with the fucking two towers and a squirrely die. Because it's Wingdings.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You don't even have letters in this goddamn font. Get that 40-year-old lady to oversee it. How disgusting. How awful. Oh, yes. Truly gross. So he's a heavyset fellow. He's about 5'10", 240 pounds, 250 pounds, something like that.
Starting point is 00:45:41 Strong guy, but he's definitely heavy. Kind of a Jeremy. Jeremy's much lighter than that. Jeremy something like that. Strong guy, but he's definitely heavy. Kind of a Jeremy. Jeremy's much lighter than that. Jeremy was like 220. Oh, would you say he was? This guy's more like 240, 250. He's about 30 pounds heavier. And I'd say at least an inch shorter, too.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Jeremy got a new job, by the way, in case you care. So he's gamutly employed again. Yeah, he better. But this Josh guy is just... I really think I i'm gonna get some comedy gold out of this guy i i i'm hesitant to do a josh wheel of pain i don't want people thinking i'm an asshole like like as much as they'll be like yeah do it do it you don't make the things happen it's like yeah let's get this low income dim-witted fellow on here and make a mockery out of him by by like throwing some money at him and laughing when he hurts himself wwsd what do you think that stands for what do you
Starting point is 00:46:32 think that stands for i don't know what would stern do i'll tell you what stern would do stern would have his underlings do it and all the the while, while they're torturing the man, he'd go, I don't like this. Oh, stop it. Stop it. No. I'm telling you to stop right now, Eric. Meanwhile, what he means is go, go, go, go. Fred, play the thing. Pick on him, Fred. Pick on him, Fred. Robin, laugh at him now. Like, all right, Benji, get in here. You laugh at him, too.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Like, it's... He gets any blame off of him that he can by being like, Oh no, stop, stop. But meanwhile, they know it's go, go,
Starting point is 00:47:08 go. You can do that. You can just be like, remember, you don't have to do any of these things, but then you get no money. I'm too mean for that. I would get into it.
Starting point is 00:47:16 I think I watched a Stern thing recently and sorry about the interrupting. Fuck you all. Not you guys, but the people anyway. Um, Oh, we were talking about Fred's job, right? Yeah. So Stern, did you see the one where Stern was fussing about podcasts and saying they weren't relevant and stuff? He does that regularly.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Okay. Well, there was a clip on it. I think it made the PKA subreddit. And it was 30 minutes long. And he basically said that the way you do this is you go to Terrestrial Radio. I think that's pronounced right. And you build up a following. And then you take that following somewhere else where you can get paid.
Starting point is 00:47:54 And that's the route that he took. And probably a viable one. I don't know if Terrestrial Radio is. In 2016? It's shrinking and dying. That's a woefully out of touch thing to say in 2016. That's what they kept saying. But he's like, you guys are acting like I don't know what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:48:08 I'm Howard Stern. And it's like, I don't really know what to fall on this. Yeah, he has no idea. If he had to go out and make a new following on 101FM in fucking Cheyenne, Wyoming, and then build up a following, there's no fucking way he could do the same thing he did. I think there's a strong argument to be made that YouTube or iTunes is a better place to get famous now than G101. But anyway, while he was doing this, I guess Benji has a podcast?
Starting point is 00:48:37 And Fred kept pressing the Benji button. You know, Benji? Benji! Yeah. It was horrible. It was ruining the whole bit. It was so bad. And I'm sure there's other people that really think it's great and adds to the show.
Starting point is 00:48:52 But for me, okay, yeah. I was just like, oh, I can't hear the debate. You mean the button itself ruins it for you, that stuff? Well, I'm just saying it's a button, but he presses a thing and it says, Benji! Oh, like little sound bites. And then they just do it ad nauseum?
Starting point is 00:49:13 Yes, he would play it like 10 times a minute. The goal is to make them break, right? The goal is to irritate them and to get them to finally snap. It would work really good on Eric the actor, Eric the midget, whatever you want to call him. I remember one episode, he's like, you press that button one more fucking time,
Starting point is 00:49:33 I'm going to fly there and break your finger. And he presses the button again, it's 0.0, and he goes, I'll meet you at the airport. And just keeps going, just plays it repeatedly because it was driving him insane and making him scream and curse but yeah sometimes it can get repetitive if it's one i don't like particularly um the benji one you ever hear the do you ever hear the the benji one i actually like because i can picture his face when he does and i hate benji i feel like benji benji
Starting point is 00:49:59 is the only guy on the staff that i really i just don don't like him. I didn't realize he's on staff. So he's not like, I thought it was a whack packer or something. No, no. Benji works there. That's Benji Bronk. Um, uh, he's a contributor of some kind. I, I don't know his exact title there. They've all got kind of silly titles that you may have never heard of, you know, they're media producers and shit like that, but they, they're coming, they're in the back coming
Starting point is 00:50:21 up with funny bits, uh, everything from prank phone calls to little games to play that come with boards and shit. Maybe they have access to this celebrity this week. One thing that I've seen them do a lot that I really enjoy is they take sound bites from a celebrity. Like Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil, if you cut up his shows, has obviously said tons of ridiculous things to people.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Like, so your 11-year-old daughter is pregnant. How do you feel? Dr. Phil, if you cut up his shows, has obviously said tons of ridiculous things to people like, so your 11-year-old daughter is pregnant. How do you feel? So they've got tons of that material to just pump into somebody over the phone. And they just go nuts. I really like that stuff. But Benji works on staff, yeah. When he was pressing that Benji button so often, Works on staff, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:04 When he was pressing that Benji button so often, I felt like I had a really clear case of this takes away, not adds. But I guess it's not as clear as I thought. No, I'm on Woody's side with that. For those little button sound effects things on radio shows or podcasts or whatever, it's like a 75-25 split. When it is funny, it feels like it's really necessary. Like, oh man, that really adds to it.
Starting point is 00:51:29 That's hilarious. But three out of four times, four out of five times they when it is funny it feels like it's really necessary like oh man that really adds to it that's hilarious but three out of four times four out of five times they do it it's just like you're just trying to eat time until you're off for the day like that's stupid and shitty when they do like bng it's not like that so much it's all right so one of the i think maybe one of the reasons i like it more is because I watch the show so fucking much that each of those soundbites is like a running joke. Like, each soundbite stands on its own as a joke. And when I hear it, I think back to that bit. And then sometimes they'll reference that bit. And it gets better and better.
Starting point is 00:51:59 But if you're not familiar with, like... So, sometimes you'll hear a screaming voice. And it'll just go... And it's just a scream it's not funny unless you know that is benji in a hotel room getting fingered because he didn't lose weight fast enough that's him getting getting his ass fingered by another man uh because he didn't lose uh i don't know 30 pounds in 30 days or some some shit like that he's he's literally getting finger banged and screaming like a woman. So when you know stuff like that behind each sound bite, you get a little chuckle.
Starting point is 00:52:28 But when they... They can go too far with it, for sure. I like Fred a lot. I really respect Fred's job over there. Because for one thing, he'll come up with those so fast sometimes. They've described his system over there and how he's got
Starting point is 00:52:44 everything compiled and listed so that really quickly he can pull up something of Richard Simmons saying, Gary! Or whatever he needs to punctuate a joke or something like that. And whenever they do trivia contests, when you've got to come in and stump the expert, the resident expert on many topics is Fred. When they play against Fred in trivia, and it's difficult trivia, it goes back to the World Wars
Starting point is 00:53:10 and you'll be asking questions about fucking Isaac Newton and shit. Fred's very smart. I don't doubt that Fred is good at his job because he's had it for so long. There's some turnover on that show. Jackie the Joke Man's gone, Mame. Thank God. He sucked. you know thank god he sucked i
Starting point is 00:53:26 did not think he sucked i actually thought he was the second most important person on the show above oh i disagree so strongly i hate i hate jackie the joke man for people who don't listen to stir oh um so he was a bad comedian i guess and uh he played guitar and um i don't know he was a bad comedian, I guess. And he played guitar. And I don't know. He was probably the second most active talker on the show. He's the guy who's always laughing in the background. Like they'll tell a joke and he's he is uncontrollably. Oh, God, make it stop.
Starting point is 00:54:10 I thought he I don't know like i would i thought the jackie joke man stuff was great and then they'd pick on him a lot and i liked that i saw like there's two wait sometimes i felt like they picked on him too much but i also realized like wow a lot of the material is just fussing about jackie so that's kind of a role in itself. Then Artie comes in, and Artie Lang did that job for a while, but he had his drug problems, and he went his own way. I think the Artie era is one of my favorite. When I go back and hear those shows, because Artie's super homophobic, so when you get him in there with someone like George Takai,
Starting point is 00:54:42 who's like a gay rights activist. He used to be Mr. Sulu from Star Trek, and he's got that cool voice. I don't like his voice. George Takai. I like it. It sounds so forced. Can I tell a story? You don't order from McDonald's menu sounding like that when nobody's looking at you.
Starting point is 00:54:57 You don't sound like that. This is a total show. So we're live streaming on WoodyCraft, right? Like when it first opened up, and there was this guy named JRocker. And JRocker was useful. He was good at PVP when none of us were. And he knew stuff. He was better at Minecraft than we were
Starting point is 00:55:12 and he was kind of helping us. And eventually he talks me into like via like signs in the game to letting him join the team speak. Oh my God. Worst fucking voice ever. It was all this like radio dj shit but he was like 16 with an ad with a deep-ish voice that he faked so everything he said was like this yeah drawn out you just ask him a yes no question he'll be like uh-huh and it's like really are you trying to seduce me what the fuck is wrong with you your 15 year old boy doesn't know how to handle his changing voice
Starting point is 00:55:50 and it was fucking awful i hated that dick and even though i was wonderful to him he sold us out in game he sold us for in-game money and then he lied about that shit but i got the proof because i own the fucking server there's no way i would lie to you woody it was worse than that it was worse than that he get right up on top of his life there's yeah it wasn't me i swear swear it wasn't me you lying sack of shit you totally did it there's no doubt about it. I've got the proof. How much in-game money did Tay Zonday get away with? What'd you say? How long what? He said how much did Tay Zonday get away with.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Oh, it was in-game money. I don't know. Like $100,000 fake dollars or something. Oh, shit. Yeah, right? There. Yeah, basically we were setting up a base, and he gave away our coordinates
Starting point is 00:56:45 so that people could raid us and sort of ruin everything. And it's really tough. I won't go on too long about Minecraft, but the fact is that the best players get the most people attacking them and stuff. If you raid whatever, currently it's Infamous Conquer and Revolter, or Console and Revolt.
Starting point is 00:57:06 If you somehow manage to take them down, then you've accomplished a major thing, right? This is an event that people will be talking about. YouTube videos will go up and et cetera. Attacking me was also like a major accomplishment. But the thing is, I'm not that good. You know, like it's not that hard. The only thing is you gotta find me.
Starting point is 00:57:28 We're hiding like scared bunny rabbits because everyone's after us and we are not good enough to build solid bases and protect ourselves and this asshole gave away our location. That's how that went. Little bit fired up. So yes, Taylor, I do follow the Flyers every now and then. I'm a little out of date.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I didn't catch their win streak, but I probably look at them every 10 days or so and just see how things are going. Okay. Yeah, I was happy that Milo liked American sports more than ones from across the pond that always makes me feel so much better because usually there's such an adamant like argument of like soccer's played by fucking five billion people it can't be that bad it's like half of africa has malaria you're not praising it like just because everybody can afford to play it
Starting point is 00:58:23 because it's just you just need a shitty ball and some pipes to form a net like that doesn't mean it's great like if they had skates everyone would be into hockey because it's more fun no they wouldn't be in the air and wilderness you know why shit and disease and festering nastiness i can take a kid with awful handicaps and a and a fucking walker and he can kind of play soccer, right? Yet I can take a healthy athletic dude and put him on skates and he can't even kind of play hockey. That's true. It's a different learning curve. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:59 It's a very difficult sport to even get started in. Right. Okay, then American football. We'll say american football if they had the pads and stuff there you can put a decently athletic you know kid from somalia and pads give him a brief rundown of the rules and then he could probably play yeah i i although to that argument you know touch football is not one of the most popular sports in the world for some reason and all it really takes is a fucking piece of cabbage and you know
Starting point is 00:59:25 you think they're gonna waste cabbage like that if they win they get the cabbage that's how that's that would be all the promos for the cabbage animation you have an animation of it spinning like a 3d rendering of a cabbage third The third annual Cambodian cabbage cup. Welcome to the 17th Cambodian Games. As Milo was talking about how much he liked American sports, I was starting to wonder to myself, I think Milo likes positions that will get him fussed at.
Starting point is 00:59:59 You know, like he might not even be gay. He might just like the hate, you know. He might not even like American sports. just like the hate you know he he might not even like american sports yeah right get girl on that guy he might not like american sports he might just like that everyone hates him saying when he hates soccer and therefore he'll do that you know he's pro trump you know there's another one that will get you some negative attention that he's uh i don't know what else to come up with i I think he'll be I don't know pro-Ferguson?
Starting point is 01:00:27 Who knows? Whatever it is that will... He's probably also a Holocaust denier. Perfect, thank you. That's what I should have gone with. Yeah, yeah. I like Milo a lot but I couldn't help but notice a trend of him preferring the unpopular opinion.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Perhaps so. He may be a bit of a troll he thought kyle was cute who would have thunk it that's a popular opinion i know yeah i was you probably i don't know if you're on the subreddit ever but they asked him the marry fuck kill thing did you guys see that uh okay yeah so the three of us who would he marry who would he fuck and who would he kill um He chose to fuck Kyle, of course. He chose to marry Taylor and kill me. I could have seen that coming.
Starting point is 01:01:11 I was a little hurt. I really thought I was the husband prize. I thought that I was the husband. I had some stuff going on there. I talked to Jackie about it. He prefers younger guys. Well, you're right i'm sure but i in my head for somehow reason i kind of just like took whatever a blend to make us all 30 in this scenario i don't
Starting point is 01:01:35 know why i did that and uh um jackie i talked to her i was like yeah it doesn't matter or anything but i was like yeah i really liked him before the show whereas he was mostly new to you guys. It would be like Anthony Akumia coming on our show and not liking Taylor. That would have been hurtful. You were like, what am I, chopped meat?
Starting point is 01:01:58 Well, that's what you do with the dead guy, I guess. And Jackie's like, you know, you're just not his type. He likes big angry black guys that hold a gun to his head while they fuck him in the ass that's not you and i'm like i could be that for you my love part of me was like well you know if that's what he likes i i'm pretty flexible but uh but i was like i can see why he didn't pick me it's not that i'm a bad husband if only he knew how you felt about blackface.
Starting point is 01:02:26 I bet if you told him that, you could get him right on board. Tasteful blackface. I'm definitely pro-blackface. I feel like you could dress up as anything else. You want to get some shoe polish. If you're starting with shoe polish. If you want to dress up as an
Starting point is 01:02:42 Arab guy for Halloween, no one bats an eye. You want to be a Native American guy for Halloween, no one bats an eye. You want to be a Native American Indian for Halloween? No one bats an eye. Oh, yeah, you just dress up, do the whole chief Indian feather thing, whatever. Perfectly reasonable costume. But one guy shows up in blackface, all of a sudden you're racist. Not fair.
Starting point is 01:03:00 If you show up as a drunk Indian with a smallpox blanket thrown over one shoulder and a dead baby on the other and said, yeah, walk in the trail of tears, bro, and just made a big laugh of it. So, you know. And there was like a guy who's 100% Cherokee standing there and he saw the shit. He might be offended. I feel like fuck the Indians. That's my – anytime the Indians come up, I'm like, fuck those Indians. We won.
Starting point is 01:03:23 We won. We killed them and we took what they had we beat them with our resistance to cholera I can picture Woody walking into a costume party walking into a costume party that was meant to be like tactful and so there's like a guy actually dressed up like a proud chief
Starting point is 01:03:37 and then like a samurai and then Woody comes in with his hair cornrowed just a perfect outline of his face in dark black with those white ghoulish uh you know like black person stereotypical lips like holding a slice of watermelon and some coveralls with one thing undone and he's like you know why is everybody freaking out you know massa like that's not going over well yeah and you can't even dress up like native americans or any race anymore without people talking about
Starting point is 01:04:07 appropriation. Have you seen those on Twitter where it's like it's a culture not a costume? It's hilarious. Yes. Oh my god. Dude, if a black people if a black guy dressed up like me I wouldn't give a fuck at all. Remember what Dave Chappelle did? White face for two fucking years
Starting point is 01:04:22 for millions of people? Nobody cared. It's hilarious. God people like my master white people And the way it's right the way it's brothers. They did whiteface in that movie white girls, and I'm gonna say the The character that Jim Carrey did the fire marshal Bob are you guys familiar with him? I think that was his name Fire Marshall Bob, are you guys familiar with him? I think that was his name. He did pretty much a white face character on a show called In Living Color.
Starting point is 01:04:50 You guys are probably really young. It was pretty much reverse black face. He was the only white guy on the show, and he played a very negative white stereotype, I thought. I was actually sensitive to it. But then again, I thought. Okay. I was actually sensitive to it. But then again, I was a teenager. You had Robert Downey Jr., of course, in Tropic Thunder doing the best blackface that's ever been done, I feel like. That was
Starting point is 01:05:13 incredible. He was nominated for an Oscar for that performance. That's wonderful in Tropic Thunder when he does the blackface. I don't know if I've seen it. I think I'm against blackface, but, you know. Bold stance, Kyle. It depends on how you do it.
Starting point is 01:05:29 It does depend on how you do it. If you start with shoe polish, then you're definitely going the wrong way. Yeah, just like anything, it's a gradient. If you have a caricature of big eyes, you know, like you're spooked, and then big red lips or something, of course that's not okay. But if you're just like, you know, I'm goingooked and then like big like red lips or something like that's of course that's not okay but if like you're just like you know i'm gonna be george washington carver and you dress up all old-timey with like a bottle of jif and then you i really go ahead you go first you have to fool me i have to think you're a you're a black guy if you can fool me
Starting point is 01:06:01 then it's okay you have to be realistic i do you remember when x jaws joined a call and said what's up my niggas right yeah he was totally not using it as a racial slur he was talking to guys like me um but everyone gave him a hard time for you know dropping the n-bomb and uh it was a you know he was whatever in the barrel for a few days. That somehow paralleled to how I feel about blackface. Extra, as he was explaining it, was like, I think we should all be less sensitive to this word. It's a casual thing. Own it.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Stop freaking out. If I use it to refer to my friends, then I'm not dropping a racial slur i kind of feel like i don't know where blackface takes us if we all of a sudden say like oh yeah he's dressed up like a black guy that's not the most interesting thing about him you know like i don't care it's it's casual then we make an improvement on racism. But if we start to accept people doing racist shit, then we're headed in the wrong direction. And I don't really know which one blackface takes us, which direction it takes us.
Starting point is 01:07:15 I don't care if anybody else does blackface. I just won't do it. I think we'll be all good. If you want to. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Hey, I think you should lead the charge, Woody. Like Halloween's coming up. Oh, really? What could go wrong? Ten from halloween go blackface i'll go black
Starting point is 01:07:29 no i won't what if we i was thinking what if we all went blackface and we got a black guest and he could go whiteface oh that would be hilarious i like that i like that if we could just find bash it's hard to find him he's so dark oh jesus christ it's hard to find he's working at twitch now i wonder how he's doing yeah that would be cool to talk to bash dude i haven't spoke to that guy in forever yeah i really like him chis land it just said that commentary march madness changed lives right he started talking about all the people that kind of launched out of Commentary March Madness. And one of the biggest was Fuzzy Otter Balls was in Commentary March Madness and nobody knew him. And he did really well. And I think he won the whole thing, actually.
Starting point is 01:08:19 I think he beat that sideshow guy from Ireland. Anyway, so winning commentary March Madness elevated Fuzzy Otter Balls far past where he might have gone without that as a stepping stool. And then that made him popular enough to get noticed by Twitch. He got a high-ranking job at Twitch back when the company was small. Of course, did a great job at Twitch. Twitch has been exploding, probably somewhat related to how well he's doing at his job. Now the guy's a multimillionaire. I think he could buy all of us and not notice the money missing from his account.
Starting point is 01:08:55 And I don't take credit for his success, but I do like to think of myself as one of the rungs of the ladder that he climbed as he earned his success. What if he did blackface? He was Asian, wasn't he? He was Asian, and didn't he do like Asian face? And he did. Yellow face, eh?
Starting point is 01:09:19 No, he had one of those You know the flat hats? This is just my face. It's like a flattened cone hat that they wear. I don't know, the Asian version of a sombrero. And he'd do like a, I don't know, crinkly-eyed weird... Chink eyes?
Starting point is 01:09:38 That's what I'm going for, mostly. That's the medical term. I don't think that's the medical term. Have you seen that uh i wish i could i wish i could convince you there were you see that like kimmel bit or maybe it was kimmel someone else where they had a bunch of like minorities and people sitting on a panel and they had like made up racial epithets and he would say one and see who got offended by it and like they don't mean anything so he would be like uh all right which of you would be offended
Starting point is 01:10:05 by uh if i called you an apple picker and the black guy was like yeah i don't like that it's like why don't you like that you don't pick apples you don't like being called an apple picker he's like no man no like a spoon face spoon face and the asian lady's like I don't like spoon face Somehow a speaker I feel like that's a white guy thing. I don't know Yeah, I think it does kind of sound that yeah, I think spooze Spoonface was a was an epitaph from Star Trek Deep Space Nine I think think that's what they would call the Cardassians because they had kind of a spoon kind of looking thing right here. Is this another thing you're
Starting point is 01:10:50 trying to convince me of? It's a thing that's true. You could just Google search what a Cardassian looks like and you'll see they got a spoon right here between their eyes and it kind of, you know, their nose would be the handle. Yeah. Actually, spoon face is a thing. A female with a round head but a face
Starting point is 01:11:06 that is insanely flat for example a flat nose flat mouth it's great look at diana she sure is Look at that spoon-faced apple-picking hole. All right, I'm going to find a really good one with a spoon face. I didn't know this was real. Somebody here wrote this. This person here wrote this. I was really pissed. Diana's a spoon-faced apple-picking hole. That's great. Look at Diana.
Starting point is 01:11:44 She sure is a spoon face. Exclamation point. What website are you on? Is this Yahoo Answers? Dude, Yahoo Answers can be a dark, weird place. Here it is. Urban Dictionary, man. Oh, there you are.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Urban Dictionary. Yeah, that's funny. Some people just... Everybody's overly sensitive, guess spoon face the second highest derated definition someone whose face bears an uncanny likeness to a spoon be it a table or a dessert yeah it sounds like an asian thing i feel like koreans have spoon faces sometimes it's just funny how immediately from like racist context clues of other things they've been called, they were able to pick out like, you know, apple picker.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Doesn't sound right, but there's no fact behind it. Yeah, I think if somebody called me an apple, you know, like, fuck you, you apple picking bitch. How dare you? They'd be bewildered. Like, I've never picked an apple in my like fuck you you apple picking bitch i'd be like yeah how dare you they'd be bewildered like i've never picked an apple in my life sir they'd have to act offended because they'd think it was referencing something and they don't want to seem too dumb apple picker yeah call me an apple picker yeah you're the apple picker. Well, that's an hour plus. Yeah, I think that's a show. All right. Painkiller Nearly, episode 74.
Starting point is 01:13:12 I hope everybody liked it. Have a good day. See ya.

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