Painkiller Already - Woody Extorted by Black Market Grocer : PKA 715 W/ Vito

Episode Date: August 31, 2024

PKA 715 with our guest Vito Taylor. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Bluechew, Lock and Load, and our wonderful merch, all linked below. Vito. Vito, Vito, Vito. How's it going? Are you still kind of robbing Dick with your weight loss shenanigans? Not particularly.

I think I've definitely slowed down, but I'm trying to get back on that train. I was so excited when Dick came on and he was so upset that we taught you how to like cut weight for like temporarily. Yeah, you're like just go in the sauna. Just don't actually diet or exercise. That's bullshit. Yeah, just don't just eat like, eat so little salt over the course of one week that it's dangerous. Lose a bunch of water weight and then win a grand.

I was taking a bunch of diuretics, so I peed out probably five pounds. That was good. Yeah, we just we just squeaked under it. So I ended up getting like a grand, which is pretty good. That's awesome. I love that you took his clearly an insult to you challenge and like made it made it. You turned it into your own screw you thing where it's like, Oh yeah, well I'm not going to get healthier. Fuck you.

And I'm still getting the money. I want to think, you know, I'm a little healthier than I was. I've kept off about 15 pounds, which is nice. But I want to get Gove. That's the thing that helps you lose weight. Like I'm not observably fat, but I'd like to be thinner. What is it? How do you get what go be nowadays? Can you buy that? Is it an actual now?

Is it what it's called? That's a new word. Semiglutide is the compound or whatever it's called. And then people, Ozempic is the most well-known name. Ozempic. But yeah, go. We as I don't know if it's a brand or whatever. This is I can tell you how I got it. My sister calls me up and she goes, Hey, you want some of that?

You want some of that sweet, sweet weight loss drug? And I go, I guess so. She's like, all right, all right. I got a source. And she she mails me these glass vials with the Mountain Dew logo on them for some reason. I'm like, did my sister just sell me meth? What is this?

But you can get it. Now it's becoming because there is a, you know how there's like a limited supply or whatever, you know, everybody wants it all at once. So the FDA, when that happens, actually relaxes the rules and they go, okay, well now anyone can sell it. So there's a lot of people who are selling it who are going to get cut off at some point. Once the supply is back in, they're going to go, well, you can't sell it anymore. But right now there's a bunch of, who are selling it who are going to get cut off at some point. Once the supply is back in, they're going to go, well, you can't sell it anymore. But right now there's a bunch of vendors popping up that the FDA is like, yeah, I mean, there's a shortage. So however you get it, people, whatever.

So like where are these vendors? Well, so I originally was getting it from this thing called Wicked Labs, which is one of these places where you get like bootleg creatine or whatever else, labs with a Z, but now it's actually getting to a, yeah, exactly. This is not health advice. Please. No one go buy this. I want health advice. Carry on. RealSafeDrugs.RU. That's where I originally got it. It did work. But I was taking like the

original formula, which when I got up to higher doses, I was just vomiting all the time. And I was like, I like I'm not eating, but I'm also anything that goes into me was coming out. But now you can get like better. They have better formulas or whatever. And like there's some legit platforms. There's one platform called hims. Have you ever heard of this? Of course. I looked into Hymns actually. Yeah. And they don't sell it in my state. Oh really? Well that's one legit place you can get it. I need to go down a notch in the legitimacy scale. Okay. So you need like an indie... Wicked Labs might be the place to go.

Go to that website. It appears to be closed. Oh Wicked Labs is gone? Oh no. My source has cut off. Am I doing it wrong? Now you're both looking. Hold on. Opening soon? Wait is that the... Oh no, my shirt's cut off. Am I doing it wrong? Now you're both looking. Hold on. Opening soon? Wait, is that the- Oh no, what happened? Wicked Labs peptide shut down! Oh fuck, we're all fucked! Oh, I'm gonna be fat forever. There has to be some Indian company that makes something similar to semi-glutide.

That was great too, cause it was all like, you wanna get janked to to the crank and I'm like, I don't know what that means I want my fucking glutes to be ripped. I want to be that guy 11 months ago the people on our slash peptides seem to think that wicked labs was legit and yeah, they were they were wrong No, it's a well, it's a legit website that sells illegit drugs. Yeah, what I mean? Like, well, no, they're real drugs. You're just getting them illegitimately, but it was very much a real website which now seems to have gone. The way they were getting around it is it would say,

for laboratory use only. That's my intended use case, yeah. Yeah, you're like, you're a scientist, right? You wanna do some science? Amateur? My fish are getting too fat. This could be the start of Woody's lab. October is rolling around. Ten years in the making. At least, right? I don't know, man. There's like a whole, you got to get into these groups. There's like a whole underground Dallas Buyers Club type

situation. Yes. That's how my sister was getting it. There's like a whole underground Dallas buyers club type situation. Yes. And that's how my sister was getting it. She's like, I'm going in on a group by we're getting, you know, 20 vials of the sticky and if you want one, I can get you one on the side. I'm like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I do. I think you got to get in on these group buys.

I don't know if it's on telegram or what. How much like, how much of a supply do you have left? I got like two vials left I'm slowly going through it, but uh, what's that? Worth I'd say I vials about a month once you get up to the higher doses You know once you're doing 50 50 mg is I think the max dose how often are you injecting? Oh once a week? That's like a week and a half though because it it does kind of, I don't know. First of all, I hate needles. So I'm always like, Oh man, I don't want to do this. But I don't

blame you. That would be about just taking a sharp thing and you got to jam it into your belly button or like right next to your belly button. And you're like, Oh God, this feels weird. Anywhere where you got fat in your fat, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a fat deposit. I was reading. So anywhere people tend to stick to, you know, we're going to be doing my face, et cetera, more than other drugs because it's just a weekly injection, right? Like if you ask them to take daily pills or three times a day or whatever, they fall off the wagon very quickly.

But if you just need like 60 seconds of discipline a week, a lot of muster that. Yeah. Now you can make sense. It also, you know, they're finding out supposedly it helps with other forms of addiction to like gambling addicts are saying they don't want to gamble after they take it. So I stopped using Reddit and playing video games. It could be fun without what if you ruin Zeldin ring without Reddit and video games? What will we do? I am worried we're going to find out the long term effects or it's like you can't do anything. Nothing feels enjoyable anymore.

But whatever. But at least you'll be sad and thin. Sad, thin people are better than jolly fat people, right? No, no, jolly fat are better to be around. I like to have a jolly fat around like they're just they're good. Why just one? John Candy in the group. I can't Chris Farley. I've got one one week kitchen chair that I put them in and I'm waiting for hilarity.

I'm in situations where there's a second jolly fat guy and it quickly becomes violent. It's not good. I had a buddy. He's like we should do a podcast. I'm like, we're both the jolly fat guy. We would kill each other. What are you talking about? It'd be too, it'd be too good vibes. You need a Dick there to bring things. Exactly. A little, little realism, a little cynicism rather. Cause he is a bit cynical at times. That's,

that is why I think the show we're doing works is Dick's, uh, me and Dick have a good back and forth. It's impossible for Dick not to get in a fight with someone. And that's why he's so good. Like what he does online, like every tweet. It blows my mind. He's spinning 15 plates of just fighting with people. Like someone will be like, this is some woman will post, I just saw him do this.

It was like a picture on ESPN, like Body Magazine or some shit, and it's like the US rugby player, a woman. And some woman was like, see, this is real body positivity. She's fit, she's healthy, and she's beautiful and she's like a big a big lady not fat Okay, like jacked like square jawed and dicks just like tweeting at it like she looks like shit Just being just being mean-spirited and laughing at everyone who's mad at him for being mean-spirited I get a man body. Meanwhile, he's like fighting 10 people over that fucking comic saga every 15 minutes, just screaming at people. It takes a lot of energy. I don't know how he has time for it. I saw he was on an episode of your guys show recently and he was fighting with who's that guy? They were having like a hutch all week long.

I was seeing people go, oh my God, the Dick vs. Hutch episode, you got to watch PKA. And I was like, oh, they were apparently very at each other's odds over what some January six stuff or something. Oh, they got up and down. Dishonestly, it like, Hutch would bring out Dick being dishonest. That's not possible. Right? Hutch would bring out like a dozen facts. And Dick is like,

Eh, I don't think so. Hutch would bring out a dozen more. He's like, Ah, I remain unconvinced. And he somehow turned the argument to be about whether or not Dick was convinced, which of course he would just claim not to be. And that's how the argument went. That's kind of the fun part of our show, is I'm like, Dick is just the master of any time

you back him into a corner on anything, he'll eventually go, yeah, but I don't care about that. I'm like, then why are we arguing about it? You're killing me. Yeah. But on your show, on your show, it's more stuff like, you know, he'll have to argue for 50 minutes about why zippers getting stuck on your pants before they're all the way zipped up is such a huge problem or whatever. We found a thing recently. We're all bringing like a really well researched problem. I go, well, here's what the government's doing, whatever else. And Dick goes, my problem was when shorts have a liner.

Like what the fuck are you talking about? He's like, you know, sometimes shorts, they have like that little thing in there, like a little hammock for your balls. No, with Dick on this one, that's terrible. That is a way bigger problem than what you brought in. He wins the episode, somebody votes on it. And I go, he didn't even say anything,

he just said shorts with a liner. And they're like, Yep, vote it up. But what he did there is visceral. We can all imagine those uncomfortable liner shorts. I cut them out of my swimsuit. He finds the every man problems. You know, a lot of them are women lying, I think is a common one. He brought in he brought in a tick tock girls now who are wearing those big, you know,

those like prosthetic like breast things they have, where it's like big fake breasts, but they're not like the skin. They're like, you put them on over and then you put a bra over it. It's like, Oh, look at my big balloon tits. He's like, look, fake tits. They're tricking men. And the thing of those are real tits. Are they believable? This costume that seems to go from the neck down? They are. Are they reusable or what? No, believable. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're not believable, no, they're not believable because they're like, they got too much buoyancy. It looks like, you know. You have no imagination. Wait, where do they begin? I believe. It's like a rubber suit, right? Like prosthetic rubber suit. So like for like, for real sicko weirdos,

they've made like, it's basically like buying a real doll, like gutetic rubber suit. So like for like, for real sicko weirdos, they've made like complete, it's basically like buying a real doll, like gutting out the insides and climbing inside of it. Okay, but you don't have to get the whole doll. Like you can just get like the torso. So you have like this silicon, it's like kind of like a vest they put on. So they pull it over.

But you see where I'm going, there's a collar to it. How is it? Yeah, it's under the collar line. You know, you wear it. Oh, they wear clothing over it. They'll wear like, oftentimes they'll wear like a choker where like the neckline is. Or collar. Or like a turtleneck or a collar shirt. Or dog collar. Yeah. All these examples you're giving of Dick's stupid problems, they're good problems. I know they're good problems. That's the problem. Everybody identifies with them. I got to play less after it.

That must be so satisfying to know your co-host is sitting there writing down notes like, and then the CIA killed Kennedy and did this and that and this is a problem. And then being like, nah, Chipotle bowls aren't full enough. And everyone's like, yes, it's so true. I do all the food problems. Food problems are good too, because those are always compelling. There's always new things going on in the food problems. Food problems are good too, because those are always compelling. There's always new things going on in the food world. Did you see the guy changed his DoorDash name, like his own name, to like, in-person versus online quantity test number one, and then ordered Chipotle bowl?

It showed up heaping. It was bulging at the seams. They couldn't crinkle that aluminum oil at the edges all the way. Yeah, and that guy's smart. He's a pound of chicken and they're covered with guacamole. Have you seen that there's a talk trend now where all the kids are going to Chipotle and they're filming the guy making the burrito bowl because they think if you film them,

the guy is going to be ashamed. He's going to go, well, shit, I can't fuck this up. This is going on TikTok. This guy might be an influencer. So the whole thing is they go, you got to film the guy and you got to make him think you're a big deal because then you get more steak and you're why walking into Chipotle with those star sunglasses. Yeah, I'm such a big deal. I can't afford double chicken. You bring a whole camera crew and a boom mic and you're like, yeah, yeah, no,

I do want extra extra chicken. Ask for double chicken and then gaslight them when they try and charge. She actually had to respond because it's become such a TikTok trend where they're like, we're not limiting the portions. You guys are just idiots, but. Dude, they were. I ordered a burrito right after that controversy and I weighed that bitch on a digital scale. It was like 1.6 pounds for a chicken burrito after that controversy. It was so big. I could not eat it I was like I can never finish this burrito. This is too much food. I'm not this hungry

I've seen Kyle win the eating contest. I have I have won an eating contest. Really? What was the food? cheeseburgers dry cheeseburgers no condiments I What was the food? Cheeseburgers. Dry cheeseburgers, no condiments. I wanted to bust it so badly. On a bun? On a bun? We had to eat the buns too.

In fairness, Kyle won because I chose not to compete. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for my win. I was watching you and Joe Lozano up there and I'm like, these guys. These guys don't know burgers. Three to one at a time. That's nice of you. Yeah. jello's on up there and I'm like these guys don't know burgers. The whole eating competition scene is corrupt though. You saw they banned Joey chestnut. He's not allowed to eat hot dogs.

I saw that. And that's like straight up against Kobayashi or whatever. He has like all the records. Oh, chestnut is destroying Kobayashi at this point. I don't think Kobayashi can even compete now. I thought they were, they had an event coming up. Neck and neck. Maybe like an exhibition match for the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not claiming one's better than the other,

just that there's an exhibition match coming up. I could Google it. I think you might be right. But I did see that like banning Joey Chestnut would be like banning LeBron from a basketball competition or fucking Gretzky from a hockey competition. Like they showed a graph of like what the amount of dogs it took to win over the past 10 years were. And this year's without Joey Chestnut was like a full 10 hot dogs. Yeah. It's like he was breaking 70. September 2nd, these two are going to face off. Oh, that's cool. I got my money on Mr.

Chestnut. Well, you know why he got banned, though, right? I don't because he's been he's been hocking fake meat dogs and the Nathan's people are upset, you know, like the Beyond Dog or the Impossible Dog or whatever you want to call it. You know, like they're like, hey, man, that's but he wasn't like, I don't think I don't know. Maybe he's going to wear their t-shirt on stage. I don't know exactly what it was behind the scenes, but if you can eat the most

hot dogs, that's it. You can't go. Oh, you can't. Was he trying maybe to be like, I'll do the contest, but I'll eat a Tofurky or some shit. I'm not eating the Nathan's dogs. It's really unclear. Okay. It wasn't it just that like Nathan's is like, I'm not going to make this guy famous if he's going to launch a competitor to us. Yeah, that's kind of what it seemed like that it was kind of like, well, if he's

working for the competitor, but it's like, OK, well, this seems totally fair now. I mean, like if you're running the major hot dog contest, now you got rules about who can take an endorsement from who. Yep. Has anyone watched Nathan's Hot Dog Competition? Have you ever watched the Nathan's Hot Dog Competition go, I got to go buy some Nathan's hot dogs right now? I honestly never watched one.

I like a little gross to me when they start getting the wet, soggy buns and they're slurping them all up. That's fair. Someone always vomits. And it's like, you know, I don't even like hot dogs that much. I've never eaten more than three in my whole life. You guys are making a huge life decision problem here. This is a bad idea. That's so much. So many nitrates.

You can't eat 17. Nathan's hot dogs will walk away. No, you can't eat 17. They'll laugh you off the stage. You have to eat 65. 65. Good God. 70, right can't eat 17. They'll laugh you off the stage. You have to eat 65. 65. Good gosh. 70. Right. I agree with everything Kyle said. And also I think hot dogs are perhaps one of the most boring eating contests, things that you could put in there. I need to see you eat some like red hot red hot peppers. That's what I want. I was wearing those pepper contest.

Ice cream. That's the one oh with the ice I didn't think about the ice cream headaches. They're screaming with ice cream headaches Got his own spoon. Yeah, when he gets his spoon that he carved from a limb struck by lightning out Yeah, yeah I would love this ice cream is cool because I like the freezing thing and I like the dairy vomit aspect of it as well. But hot dogs, you might as well have like a saltine eating contest. I'm not they have all those other things. But the thing is Nathan's got behind and like made it big. There are ice cream eating contests, but Ben and Jerry's doesn't care. It's because Nathan's is so chill about the whole thing that we have a contest every year where people eat hot dogs and for some reason people care. I've never cared. When that Japanese fellow started eating a lot of them, I was like, oh, that's cool. He's little and he eats a lot.

People are following him like he's a rod or something. I don't get it. Like, oh, I want to watch him eat sushi next Why you'll probably eat a lot of it. You probably heard amount of it. Yeah, that's all they care I don't care about the eating contest. I think you're silly I just don't care. I don't think hot dogs are any worse than any other food for an eating contest But I've never sat down and just watched Pete because like it's like 15 minutes of just watching people chew and with their mouth open and be grossed.

You know what I do watch though? And this is kind of same thing, but the YouTubers who do it, who go to a restaurant that has a challenge. It'll be like, this is the, the wild Bill steak restaurant challenge. You have to eat two baked potatoes and they've got this prepared feast

and you have to eat exactly this. And then usually get the prepared feast. You have to eat exactly this and then usually get the meal free. But sometimes there's prize money and like a shirt and like other little items tacked on. I like those channels because these guys go from restaurant to restaurant traveling around breaking their little record and getting their pictures on the wall. When I was like 16, I was at a steakhouse with my mom and my brother. And they had a 72 ounce steak that if you ate the whole thing, it was free. And I got that and I ate probably 60 plus ounces of it. And I was I was like so motivated to finish it. And my mom made me stop because she was like, this is now a

health concern. Like you have to stop. I'll pay for the steak. It's not a big deal, Taylor. And so, yeah, I only ate like 60. She took your glory away. She pressured you out of the big win. I mean, I don't remember how I was feeling at the time. Probably full and looking for an excuse to not eat it. It feels like you were a serious beer therapist. My mom stopped me from the glory of the steak challenge.

Man, I went to a steak. This is a steakhouse that's in a number of places and you know, steakhouse is Kyle, you know, 801 Chop House. Is that in Atlanta also? I know New York and LA and St. Louis and Nashville, Chicago. But I'm not sure. I can't think of it by specifically.

Dude, I'd never been to a steakhouse before where they like, before you order, the meat man comes in and is showing you plates with the meat saran wrapped very neatly to the top of it and explaining all the different special cuts and whatnot. It was wild. And he's like, I'm also a sommelier. And I'm like, ah, no questions. Yeah. It was sick. Like I'd never been somewhere that fucking nice. It blew the pants off of our other steak houses here.

It was like $90. When you go to one of those nice steak houses, but when you kind of look at it, you go, man, you guys really are dressing up the fact that you just killed a cow. There's a lot of cows, you know, like they kind of have to justify charging you $200 for a steak that you get at the grocery store for 15 bucks. These were super special cows. Yeah. I didn't get caught up in the why goo nonsense. I texted Kyle about it and was like, this is like $40 an ounce. So I, I texted Kyle about it and was like, this is like $40 an ounce. So I'd need to like pay a grand for a reasonably sized steak or something. And he's like, no.

Most of that wagyu is not actually wagyu too. Four ounces is enough. Like when it's wagyu, it's different. I think they're acting like it's so rich, it's going to make you ill if you eat a fucking 16 ounce wagyu steak. And maybe it is. I still think that's the way to go. Instead of getting three ounces of wagyu, get like a 30-day dry aged ribeye and like that thing's going to be so much better. Especially like a bone in tomahawk, cajun ribeye type thing. Like something fancy that's

going to be still a $95 fucking steak and it's going to be big and it's going to you're going to feel like you've spent your $95 as well well but when they come out with those three little slivers of wagyu it's a disappointing night. It's sad. They're like oh man. Was it more filling? Like I ate no filet mignon. I usually find six and eight ounces is enough. For a filet mignon? Yeah. I yeah I don't know. If I go to a steak restaurant, I usually haven't eaten that day because I'm ready to do like two or three sides an appetizer and a big steak or something. I mean, I'm here to play.

So I usually get like a 16 ounce steak. If I get a filet, obviously it's not gonna be 16 ounces. I don't think I've ever gotten a 16 ounce filet. That'd be big. I've gotten a- I don't know if you can get a 16 ounce. I've gotten some fancy filets that had like the bone and stuff like that. I like presentation.

I like when the seafood appetizer comes out with dry ice and LEDs and shit. I'm down for something like that. And I want good service. You watch those Salt Bay videos of the guy and he opens up the briefcase. They stamp the name of the steakhouse into it with a hot brand. That guy super. The guy goes, I paid $2,000 for this gold wrapped steak. And you're like, you're a moron.

Why on earth? What a retarded thing to do like literally nothing. Is he is that guy disliked now? The statement the Internet has everyone hates. So so we started as this guy. I think he maybe started in Turkey, but don't quote me on that. But he had a pretty affordable, I think he maybe started in Turkey, but don't quote me on that. But he had a pretty affordable, high quality restaurant that people loved.

And he did a lot of presentation type stuff. You've seen him put salt on things. And then he got popular and he started like cozying up to the influencers and his place got really expensive. And now people were overpaying having like two $2500 meals just for the privilege of sort of saying I experienced the whole Salt Bay thing and now it's gone super wild. People pay 10 grand for a dinner with him sometimes and he's on the field after the World Cup victory acting like

he and Messi or like kite and the whole world is like you are not in this league. Why are you even even messy? He's like, why are you here? How did you get here? All he does is like try to steal clout off other people and pimp his restaurants and everyone hates him. Did he invent this whole like Instagram, your food, like influencer thing? No, I mean, not invent it, but it's like.

But he wrote it and perhaps made a business model out of it. He definitely wrote it to the top. The people who are paying for that $1,000 steak, none of them are not recording it and posting it to their feeds that night. Nobody goes in and goes, oh that gold steak, well no one else will know I got it. It's like, no. I wonder how big an influencer you have to be to get free food from him. I mean, do you have to be messy or could you be like, you know, you need money for those

big things is like guys with Instagram channels going, Oh, this will be an easy couple thousand views or whatever. I'm building my thing. That's the only time I ever see any of that is like stupid YouTube videos of I went and I got this stupid gold steak and it was terrible. Whenever I see gold, I think it's stupid because you can't taste gold. It's genuinely just to be wasteful and gaudy and to look at it's just a presentation of it because gold has

no fucking flavor. You're eating metal. You don't I don't want that in there at all. I've seen a waste There's a there's like a it's fun a goldschlager There's like a milkshake or an ice cream sundae at this restaurant and they charge like it might be $900 for the fucking thing and it's got I know there's a lot of gold involved with it. I remember watching the video I'm being like man the chocolates from every region of the planet hand-picked by Mongolian shepherd boys who's never seen a pussy before But then they get to the end and he like puts a bunch of fucking gold in there and I'm like well All right, if you put seven seven hundred dollars worth of gold into a two hundred dollar milkshake, I get your point

Yeah, it gets expensive. I hate that. I just found a video of Salt Bae doing some gold steak shit for Messi and Messi just looks like, like, annoyed. Like what? Smiling politely. But like, what's what's happening here? Like, you know, I could buy

you and your family and your restaurant and the city, and then I could turn it all into a gold steak. Like, just make me a regular steak. That's what you want, right? You want a patron out there who's going to be like, ah make me a regular steak. That's what you want, right? You want a patron out there who's gonna be like, ah, you're my guy. Let me just buy everything you have.

And then you just... Like a Saudi prince. Yeah, exactly. You want that Saudi prince to come in and just take you to Dubai and pee on you in a hotel room. Yeah. No. That's Instagram girls. He'll give me pretty linens to wear. No, that's what I want. I was it. Yeah, don't the words in my mouth. That's what I want. You write the first time. Yeah, I see a Mr.

Super Wow. I don't know that he's a he's a guy who decided he's like a midget, but he dresses up like Salt Bay and he goes around the restaurant doing all the same shit Okay, I just found this this is funny often do you see a midget in real life Like how many times in your lifetime have you seen one you would think in LA? I would see more of them, you know, cuz they're all out here working They die young

That hurts your odds now They die young. That hurts your odds. Yeah. The last time I spoke to a midget, we did like a kind of interview thing with a guy who played Howard the Duck. He was the guy in the Howard the Duck costume. And that was right before it came out that he was messaging young boys trying to get them to... Yeah, there was like a big expose, like those Predator Poacher guys like went to his apartment. All of a sudden the duck costume is a little weird.

He was he was in the duck costume. God, what else was he in? I think he was in like the Freddy Krueger movies or no, he was in like that. He was like the Chucky doll or something. God, what's the name of that guy? And I was like, oh, well, meeting that guy was weird. And now it's infinitely more weird. Yeah, I don't think we've ever had a guy who was found to be a pedo on the show later that's a good record

who did we have EDP did we have EDP on ever I don't think so damn well that would have been the one yeah yeah or Dr. Disrespect of course he well he's an aspiring pedo, not a practicing. Yeah, you really... I also don't think we've had him on, have we? No, am I bad? Am I mentioning that every show? Every show, you mention the doctor being an aspiring pedo or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I don't care for it. It's just taking that man's good name, running it through the gutter like that. Kyle finds it to be bullying. I think he's bullying him. You know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think he's bullying him. You know, you know, yeah Yeah, he likes it. I you know, you know, I He wears body armor, all right that dude six foot nine jacks and he wears body armor What are you gonna do when the real body armor? That's like the kind of shit you put gonna try to look Not real body armor. I can see it. I can see him wearing it right there. It exists in Tarkov.

It's just doesn't. Yes, it really does. It's red every now and then I'll kill something wearing the doctor disrespect arm. And I'm like, this guy paid for this armor or no, it's like it just appears in the game. It's a, it's like a streamer item.

Yeah. I think the doc's gonna, gonna return to be victorious because I really do. Yeah. He's going to be, he's going to be streamer of the year again. He'll come back and repeat. This is going to be like when Jordan went and played baseball. I don't think so. Not unless he comes out and is like, for an inexplicable reason, I've had solid evidence that these have all been lies and I've kept it to myself. It's like, right. I don't see that happening. I think Jordan playing baseball is a little different from messaging, uh, underage girls. Oh, because you don't know why Jordan was playing baseball,

you know, you know, to get all those underage. He was with the bad boys. I believe that's holding up your doctor is the fact that no platform wants him. He's going to create his own platform. He's gonna probably lose a lot of viewership. Yeah, right? Yeah. Don't take him over on Kick. There's a lot of weirdos over on Kick.

What's the big gambling one? Is Kick the one that's big in the gambling? Kick has a lot of the gambling stuff, yeah. Twitch, I don't think you can gamble, can you? I think they cracked down on it. No, they allowed it, I thought thought they might've cracked down on it. I just remember we used to stream. We used to stream.

We used to live stream poker a little bit. And I thought somebody told me you couldn't do that anymore, or maybe you couldn't monetize it anymore, but I might be wrong. That's fun to watch. I like watching people gamble. We've been in our hangouts. Uh, some of the guys have been streaming them gamble. And, uh, one of the guys in there, I don't know what he started with, but he was way up.

He won three or four thousand dollars or something and then he's like, anybody want any money? And Dirty's like, me! He's like, what's your wallet ID or whatever? And Dirty tells him, he just sends Dirty $200 of his winnings just to be nice and Dirty turns that 200 into a grand and cashes out 900 of it as we watch. It was fun to watch. Yeah. Yeah. I was happy to see him win. I never know if those online gambling sites, though, I'm like, it would just be so easy for them not to because they're not operating. You know, you go to Vegas, there's a Vegas gaming commission

that has to check the machines and make sure you're not fucking around. But this I'm like, there's no oversight if they want to be like, hey, every Friday, let's just drop the odds to like 20%. Yeah, I can stop them. No, they could do that. I would imagine. I remember the controversy. Legal gray area. I remember the controversy about that around like 2009, 2010 with the poker stuff and some anomaly anomalies. The servers were in the Caribbean or something. And there was this whole thing about them messing with the odds of poker.

But you know you're already doing something that's a little disreputable because it's not Dirty was explaining this just the other day like they're not guaranteed so those websites can just pull the rug out and disappear anytime they want with all of the millions of dollars that are in there. Now you're a hundred dollars they don't really care about, right? Like, you're gonna lose my money. If they leave, they've taken everybody's money. So it's not that big of a concern. But I don't know if it's- It's also like all crypto transfers.

So if anyone like hacks them and takes all their Bitcoin, it's like, well, it's all gone, sorry. It seems like if that were possible, we'd know about it real soon though. Yeah. Like there'd be trillions of dollars getting stolen and flooded around if people could just get in there and take it. Feels like that happens from time to time, right? With crypto?

Yeah. You gotta hold on to your keys. Where at some point it's like, oh, this random coin, people lost 30 million because the founder rug pulled. Yeah, it takes one employee to be like, hey, they gave me access to the crypto account. I'm going to some random address. Not just the rug pulled Taylor, but like legit Bitcoin. Most people bought not everybody, but most people keep their Bitcoin into some sort of online locker. And then it turns out that company there wasn't legit or wasn't secure.

And everyone who had their money there loses it. Right. That happens. That sucks. Yeah. That would suck so much to be like, I've got 50 Bitcoin on a key wallet, whatever. And then that company's like, oops, you've been hacked and all your money's gone. And there's no recourse and we're all moving to Argentina.

Yeah but I don't how much money went missing? I don't know this story. I just got to imagine that if we're talking about someone 50 bitcoin for example which is what 25 million dollars or something like that like you'd have that in a reputable place. FTX did it? 2.5 million. Oh in that case the owners embezzled and missed used customer funds. I just got a check from Voyager from whatever amount of money I lost in there. These big, I wish this was my area of expertise, but yeah these big like banks essentially are not, you think they're like regular banks that you can trust and they're not Well, even regular banks are only insured for a quarter mill each bank, right? Yeah Each individual account is I think it's each person actually you can't have like six accounts and get

Yeah, yeah, it's per person. That's why you got to spread your money across multiple banks That way Million is really holding Vito back. He's like, why I'm running seven banks. Ten banks. That's what they say. If you diversify your bank selection, when the big banks fail, you'll be safe. I was all horrified. So I had a bunch of money in Voyager because you were getting like 5% on it or whatever

before Voyager went down. It was one of those crypto exchanges. Not the what was the one the big one that went down? It was a Coinbase. Is that the only one? Coinbase is still going. The one that the guy. What do you say FTX or something?

Friedman. Lexfer. That's FTX. Yeah. So it was basically kind of the same thing as FTX. It was a place to park your money. And they're like, if you have it in this crypto, you get three percent extra. And if you have it in this crypto, you get five percent extra.

And then one day they said, hey, we're going to limit the amount of money you could take out every day. And I said, oh, that's not good. So I and I was like, that's a real bad sign. So I took all the money I had in crypto and I just converted it back in the cash because their thing said your cash is back by the FDIC up to 250 grand or whatever. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. I'll just convert it to cash and slowly take it out day after day. And I still had like $30,000 sitting on there when they're like, and we're going away. I'm like, but what about that money? I get it because it's insured. And they're like, well, we said it was insured. But not

really. It was like convoluted. It was like on the fence as to whether it was insured or not. I think at the end of the day, it kind of wasn't we shared it personally. Yeah. They were using all this like advertisers saying like, Oh, no, it's FDIC insured. I'm like, Okay, cool. It's my cat. It's in cash. It's in the form of cash. It's not in the form of crypto or whatever. And I did end up getting that money back, okay, cool. It's my cat. It's in cash. It's in the form of cash. It's not in the form of crypto or whatever Uh, and I did end up getting that money back. Thankfully But there was a week where I was just sweating bullets because they're like, we're not really sure if you're gonna get it back

That was more of a satisfaction guarantee. Yeah, I found a list ftx is the third biggest one Ronan network and poly network are both bigger crypto Hacks than ftx was which wasn't a hack, I don't think it was stolen. So it's made a terrible investment. Wasn't it a hack that they, oh no, it was just stolen by the founders, you mean? Okay. Yeah, yeah. Whereas some of the other ones, like people got in and hacked.

So Ronin network, the largest cryptocurrency hack to date, March, 2022, They got 625 million poly network alone hacker got 611 million. FTX. That's 600 million. And it looks like the owner stole it. Binance 569 million. It was a high profile stealing about the same amount of money. Is it wild? So do they catch them?

Like, so are they in trouble after that? Or is it just like, ah, this has all been a gray area. I guess you get your 500 million in American currency. Sometimes they don't know who stole it. Sometimes they don't know where it went. It's like some random hacker. Wouldn't you know when it's like, hey, this guy, hey Steve. Yeah, I know I'm just a local bank manager,

but this guy's account went from $3,000 to $550 million. Well, they don't deposit it. $3,000. I don't think they would transfer the digital currency anywhere who would do such a thing, right? Honestly, they're going to- And you can just put it on a device. No, you just take that money and you go to the gambling website and then you just gamble

it. And you give it to the game? Yeah. Well, website and then you gamble it. Did you give it to the game? Yeah. Well, they probably lose half of it. You know, Andy Milonakis, I think this is correct. You know, Andy Milonakis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think he he did like an NFT right when NFT started, like right at the height. And it was like very smart. And he made like a couple of million dollars.

And then he disappeared like all this shit. He said he was gonna build there was like, Oh, there's gonna be runway and all that. They don't build any of that. And then somebody like checked his like Bitcoin account or whatever. And they're like, Oh, yeah, he gambled 80% of that over on stake. Like, it's just gone. Oh, Andy, no, you let it go. How much did he get? Like,

a good amount? Andy Milonakis, like if he is 20% of the 100 million he made, then he's still not 100. Yeah, probably not 100 million. But if he has 20% of the million he made, then go back to work. Well, they're saying that it was a rug pull. I don't know the exact numbers. One point three million, they're saying, in NFTs. But what he's gambling on, he said steak. Yeah. You know, 1.3 million, they're saying in NFTs.

What he's gambling on. He said steak. Yeah, you know, steak, that's the one that that's the one that has all the they keep every time you see a video now, someone has ripped it and put the steak logo on it for some reason. Yeah. I'm like, you can't just keep doing that. They're just stealing people's YouTube videos to promote their stupid gambling. What I'm saying is betting, right? That's the that's the site thatirty was on when he was doing his games. I can get into sports betting.

Sports betting is fucking fun. I could get into that, especially if I had a good bookie. If someone was like, ah, yeah, well, you could bet this and it pays two to one. Or how about this parlay where all that's got to happen, it doesn't matter who wins or loses. It's just that this player fouls out and this player gets 15 points those are those two things I'd be like shit well that sounds that sounds like a fun bet

it pays eight to one crazy yeah let's do it here's a hundred like I could I could I could so see getting into that part of the gambling but for money yeah they do let you play mine super for money on that site that's yeah it. Yeah. It was state that he was on. And so I was watching dirty play it. And secondhand, I'm having like the time of my life. I'm so invested in his wins and losses. I desperately want him to walk away with money and not lose it. And I feel terrible. Yeah. And then Taylor says this thing that's been ringing in my head ever since.

He's like, I can see how people get addicted to this and ruin their lives. Yes. Yes, yes. There's so many colors going on. And like he was there was one game where it was literally just a minesweeper board, and you clicked and either revealed a green diamond or a red bomb. And every click was like spending $5. And so if you click 10 times and you get all greens, you could cash out for 50. Or you could keep clicking to get more. It's like exponential multiplier. Or and then if

you hit one red, it's over. And the way I would be playing that for real money, I'd be like, click. Okay, we're in. All right, here's another one. Okay. Okay. Dirty is like each one $5. Clicking faster than I've ever seen. Someone who's a gambler's clicking finger. Like he couldn't stop. We're all riveted by this. That whole hangout is just like, oh my God. Cause I would look at the board

and I wanted to see which square spoke to me, right? Like which ones, I'm getting an aura from them, which I understand intellectually is stupid, but that's how I would do it. And Dirty on the other hand has more of a mathematician's vibe. He's like well, I gotta click six I have no information about any of them. So when I click six in one second, he hit three straight-up playing roulette ten dollars a fucking You know bet he hit it three fucking times. It's three dollars or something. Yeah, he picked the number Oh, yeah, and and then he was having us pick numbers and I picked 21 and he didn't pick 21 and it was 21.

That would have been a huge win. He let me pick numbers. I felt like a pretty girl. He lets me blow on his digital dice sometimes. Yeah, I was like, teehee, 33. There were times when I picked the number and it's like, I'm not sure I'm in for the responsibility of being the guy who's just a number. Oh yeah, the time where he's like, Taylor, pick a number and it's like, I'm not sure I'm in for the responsibility of being the guy who's just a number. Oh yeah, the time where he's like, Taylor, pick a number. And I'm like 31, 21, 11, 15.

And then like when it didn't, none of those happened. I'm like, Oh, this is really on me. You should have said better. Really? It's on that Sri Lankan guy who didn't give enough muscle to that twist. Yes. The problem I think becomes that I get more enjoyment out of the guys losing all their money and being despondent in the videos.

Or I'm just like, I just want to I just want to because then there's no FOMO. And then there's no like, oh, man, I should have gambled. I'm like, oh, there you go. That's what happens. See the video where the guy sold his entire everything he had and then bet it on red yeah I I forget didn't it work didn't he yes he won yeah he just took his money like his house was emptied out that he sell his home he sold all of his earthly possessions it didn't amount to nearly you might think oh shit a couple

million huh now like like like $360,000 or something like that. I don't remember what it was still a lot for a single bet He put it on fucking red and there's a crowd everybody's there to see it the TV There they like film. Yeah, he brought his family out to watch, you know, you know, he's got a pistol in his pocket, you know. One way or another, it's gonna be a big night. I said I don't know. Everyone's gonna remember this. That's what the invitations would say. July 17th, a night to remember.

I guarantee it. There's one book in your chamber. Who wants to bet? No, put it down, Tom. Five shots. If I survive them all all you give it back Game a roulette To I think you turned 360 into 720 roughly yeah

It's a little less than that because of the zeros but but um, wait, you know, it's two to one odds there, right? No, a little worse because of the zero. No, no, it's two to one payout, but the odds are a little worse. You're right. There are equal amounts of red and blue, but it's, it's not a red, red, blue. I was going to let it go. But yeah, he won. I was stressed for him watching that the first time I didn't know what was going to happen. Man, I really don't want to see his life crushed before his eyes.

It's like that in MMA sometimes. Sometimes there's a guy who's like, this was it. This was his last chance. His life, he could either turn left or right tonight, and this loss means he turns left. Everything goes a different way for him now. He didn't know it, but his whole life peaked at the previous fight. Yeah. And it's not going up from here. He didn't know it, but his whole life peaked at the previous fight.

Yeah, that was it. And it's not going up from here. Yes, I was after I did that comic campaign, which will be coming out soon for those of you who are following it. But we raised like 100000. And I said, man, can you imagine if I just took that money and I just put it on the roulette table? And it's like, if I win, I go, everybody gets a free comic book. You all get your money back. And if I lose, I go, no one against a comic book.

I mean, is it a little tempting? It's tempting because I think it was tempting because I'm like, I think I would get like news for that. You know, like Kickstarter creator bets all the money on one spin of the wheel yeah Kickstarter creator says fuck you to his funders, gambles and all. Fuck you! I won you money! You should be happy!

Everybody gets a little something! Man, the roulette has to be the biggest thing in the bend. They're happy at first but everybody's cheering because you won you're like, let it run! No! No! Fucking no! That's that classic South Park scene. It's so good. You just say it.

Stan, you just don't understand gambling. We're on a hot streak, Stan. We're on a hot streak, Stan. All the adults, they finally win. They can buy the town back. Litter Brite? Litter Brite? I like games, but I don't love gambling. The thrill of having the money on the line

isn't the biggest fun part to me. I like the game itself. It has to be a fun game. Dirty, for example, clearly has a gambling problem. So he's playing Minesweeper for money. He's playing this one game where it's just a graph where the line is going up, you know Imagine a stock that's increasing in value. Yeah, and and that its increase is the multiplier on your bet So when it gets to 2x, alright now you got $10 instead of 5 and it just it just goes goes goes Goes and then and then it drops it immediately stops and you don't know when it's going to stop and you have and you have No other indication of if it's about to stop or not. And he's just sitting there watching his money dissolve again, again, again, again. And I'm just like, stop guys.

Guys will cash out at like two X and they'll watch it till like 160 X because they cashed out too early. He says he'll just bet and go to the bathroom and come back because sometimes it'll be like, Oh my God, it's still going to like a hundred X or something like that. That's only gotta be like once a day it's still going? Oh my God. Just hope it's still going to like 100X or something like that. That's only gotta be like once a day you hit like 100X or something. He says he's seen it before,

but I don't even know if I believe that, you know? The one thing I didn't understand about that game is like, can't you just every game cash out after five seconds and always turn a profit? I didn't get it. I was trying to figure out. I think it started below. It starts below a multi-time. It starts at zero and makes its way to one't get it. I was trying to figure out it below. It starts below a multi-task.

It starts at zero and makes its way to one. So you could. So anything before one, you lose money if you get. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And that seemed like so little fun. Then he's playing slots online and it's like, Jesus Christ, you don't even have the fun machine and the buttons anymore. You're just you're just clicking go over and over watching the money disappear. And it looks like Peggle.

It looks like Peggle. Peggle fucked. What's what was that fruit game that everybody loved for every candy crush? Candy crush, dude, I was so I put money in candy crush. I'm embarrassed to say I bought I bought I bought some candy coin or whatever. The fuck you get to the magic sugar mountain. You can't get over it without buying a couple of days. I remember being on the ports just like

Make a pop it felt so good to like make all that game. I played Peggle though Peggle's a great Game of skill it is a huge game of skill Representative do you want the guiding line from Bjorn the unicorn? Do you want the explosive power from the alien guy? It's a game of Pagel. I forgot about Pagel. Don't remind me about Pagel because I'm like, why do I not have Pagel on my phone? In college, I would get so high. I was barely sentient with my friends and play Pagel and like just like be cheering at good shots because it's the most like high game to play because no matter what you do, there's a million things popping up on the screen. The score has like a tactile like like up like Ratchet Effect. It's very fun.

Well, I've seen in Vegas. They're starting to figure out that they can turn gambling games into little arcade games and stuff. I'm seeing like, you know, they got like crane games where you win the magic ball or whatever and spin the wheel. So they're starting to gamify Vegas in a way where I'm like, I'm gonna have to stay away because all this looks super addictive.

You know what I would do? I wish there was like video game tournaments happening like every 15 minutes and it was just a game of free for all call of duty. There's six chairs and each chair costs $50 to get in. And they just that would be so cool. That would be awesome. Vegas was starting to do like e-sports in a big way and they were building like these little e-sports gambling rooms or something.

But then it just kind of fell apart because like the money e-sports is complicated. I was talking to a buddy and I said, the reason esports doesn't work is like you want a Michael Jordan poster on your wall. You don't want a Kim Duck Wong from the Korean Overwatch League like poster of a fat Korean kid holding his gaming keyboard. Like, it's not nearly the merchandise is limited. If you want street fighter merchandise, you're going to buy a poster of Ryu or Ken, not the fat Chinese guy who's really good

at playing as Ryu and Ken. That's true. You need like a, at least a gamer who's semi-fit to represent it. Even then. In any of those like gamer endorsements. Even then, nobody's got a poster of a gamer on their wall. Well, that's the thing, like,

unless it's like Dr. Disrespect or like one of these guys who becomes like a streamer, YouTuber, but Dr. Disrespect's not like a competitive gamer, right? Yeah, he's a pedophile. He's a competitive pedophile. He's a competitive pedophile. He's trying to bang more children than all the others. He did nothing illegal. He tried. Listen, Dr. Disrespect attacked me, my family, my kids at a time I did nothing to him. And now, and at the time he was just jealous. He was trying to be Dr. Disrespect before he was.

And then he became Dr. Disrespect and then he became an aspiring pedophile. So I get to enjoy his downfall because he wanted mine. Fuck Dr. Disrespect. He's an aspiring pedophile and I don't care what happens to him for the rest of his life. He could go to jail. I'm cool with it. He took shots at me when I never said a word about him. I said supportive **** about him. **** that guy. He tries to **** children. That's all. I hope he goes to prison and gets **** raped. Coming from, you know, he's talking about Colin. When Colin

was like 12 Fuck Dr. Disrespect And he's nothing he's never done anything to change that standpoint so that guy can suck my dick Was wearing his blue shirt oh What can you do that can you run that back can we do? Blues on poorly shop a blue scribbled on child done shirt on the booty for that last, Yeah.

I don't know what I'll call that. Attack. Dietrack. Yeah. Rant. Rant seems disrespectful. I think you gotta go hard. So I don't wanna.

It is. That's the water. It's a joy to watch people like that float down the river years later. God damn. Because you know they're scumbags and you know they're going to get what's coming to them. I'm not sure what he did. Okay, but he's like... Okay, the weirdest thing about that guy is he's got millions of dollars,

he's got endorsements or whatever else, and a big scandal hits. And the scandal is like a really bad one where it's like you're being accused of Talking to minors in a sexual way and you go. Well, this guy's got a lot of money He's not like a complete idiot Clearly he's gonna go get a PR firm to figure out how to handle this crisis and no he sits down at his keyboard And he types out was I talking to a minor individual in a sexual manner? Of course.

Perhaps going out there and talk. Yeah, you know, but the real question, do I regret it? No. Get fucked everyone. I'm going to play cod again in a fucking silly, you know, spirit Halloween outfit. Dr. Disrespect is fascinating because he's an example of a lot of rich guys who get rich doing stupid things think that they're smart. They think that because they made money, that means they're smarter than everybody else.

It's like, no, you appeal to dumb people because you're a dumb person, okay? That doesn't mean you suddenly, oh, I can do my own PR when I've been accused of messaging minors. I can handle that. I'm Dr. Dysmerec. I'm the king of the world. It's like, no, you're a dummy. Go hire somebody to write a real response for you. That tweet was like the most ridiculous thing because he said, we're not going anywhere, baby. We're not going anywhere. And then everybody was like, well, kind of sounds like you admitted to being a pedophile.

He's like, all right, I guess I am going somewhere. I'll be back later. So it didn't work out for him. If it ends up being like a court situation, maybe he'll represent himself in the, like, like, like I beam will be in there and they'll be like, Mr. B, these are the guys who do represent an attorney here. Are you choosing to represent yourself? And he's like, no, and I need a bathroom break. And then he goes, and I need a bathroom break. And then he goes to the toilet. He goes into the toilet and he's like, I'm here to represent my client's fake mustache.

Immediately held in contempt. Are you a doctor or a lawyer? He pulls up the sunglasses dramatically to reveal a second pair of sunglasses. Who knew it took 40 minutes for him to do his hair? That's not a whip. No, no. It's just crazy because he had so many guys in his corner when he like first, the first thing that came out was like,

hey, I'm accusing you of this thing. And his response was, well, no wrongdoing was found. And I'm like, I think what you want to say there is I didn't message minors. I don't think you want to say no wrongdoing was found. Right. Yeah. But he still had all these guys in his corner. Like, that could mean anything.

Like, you know, nothing happened. He could have easily got out of that situation if he just said, listen, due to contractual whatever or confidential settlements. Unfortunately, I can't speak to the specifics, but I want you guys to know that the allegations against me are wildly mischaracterized and out of proportion. Yeah, he could have like, you're better at this. Oh, my god, dude, every time one of these things happens, I go if I could just

start a YouTube PR firm, like it would be so easy because these guys are morons. And their audiences are morons who will fall for anything. These allegations are exaggerated that they're wildly mischaracterized and being spread by bad faith actors. You guys know me, I'm a down to earth individual and I would never wish harm upon anyone else. And I just hope we can move past this unpleasantness and get back to playing games. Cause really it's about the games in the community. Anything like that. Instead instead the first thing was,

don't text him, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? And they're like, no! I have a question for you Vito. So we don't know how old the child he was trying to have sex with is. Exactly. If he or she was 17, would you bring that up?

Yes, that would have been another easy, if it's a 17 year old. Here's what you do. Here's the PR strategy. You go, listen, I'm a I'm a guy. I get a lot of messages, you know, and I get a lot of messages from from attractive girls. Let's be real. I'm Dr. Disrespect. I'm a good looking guy. And sometimes a girl might come into my DM. She starts sending me pictures. You know, I might start flirting back.

And then all of a sudden she drops on me. Hey, I'm 17 years old. And then I cut off communication I go this is unacceptable. And then let's be real everybody hates a slutty woman who's going around trying to ruin a good man in a marriage and sneaking into the DMs and sending naked and if you Saw pictures of titties you you're not putting an agent. You don't know the titties. They're just titties You know, he would have gotten such an easy pass and he said it was just a 17 year old who sent me messages out of the blue but i don't think that's what happened the fact that he didn't mention the age yeah like that's the opportunity to go she was

17 which is actually legal in multiple parts of the country whatever else there's a lot of ways out in the world yeah if you're in Germany it's like who cares what i would have done i'd have shown i'd have been like here's a list of the places, locales, nations, and areas where- I wouldn't have done that. What I did, it seems like you did a little too much research. And guess what? I'll be vacationing at this one.

Specializes in- If I go to the Saudi Emirates, I mean, this is like, okay, doctor, you gotta dial a bag. The fact is- Yeah, the wildlife in the Philippines. I wonder how old the kid was. Like his supporters pretend that it was 17, Okay, doctor, you gotta dial a bag. The fact is, the wildlife in the Philippines. I wonder how old the kid was. His supporters pretend that it was 17, and it's possible.

All we know is under 18, which is illegal in California, where he tried to fuck that kid. But we don't know the real age. If it was 17, that would be the first thing out of your mouth. I can think of a lot of numbers under 18. Well, not as many as as you might imagine only 17 yeah I mean the time of decimals oh my god, how hilarious would that be? She was 15 and a half, okay? She was 15 and a half. Okay?

She was 14 and three quarters. And she's doing that kind of thing. She skipped a grade, guys. Like, come on. She's a... Yeah, yeah. This is an eighth grade intellect on a seventh grade girl. I have no problem there.

She's mature for it. She's already reading. I don't think it's a girl. You don't think it was a girl? I think it's maybe a trans girl or something like that. There was a trans person who showed some DMs that Dr. Gansburg. Yeah, he was gripping it. Well, you know, it seems like Woody knows more about Dr. Disprosec's masturbatory habits

than he has any. I read the text messages, yeah. He was gripping it. Gripping it? Is that what he said? Did he ever refer to himself in the third person as the doc? You're testing my memory, I'm not sure. That's hilarious, Taylor.

The doc be gripping. Having the persona in public is funny, entertaining, and I like it. Like, say, what do you want about the doc? His persona and the whole idea of having persona. I like that idea. I did something similar. I think it's great. It's a way of distancing yourself and making light of certain things

that you might say or do. If some redneck says they're going to blow up a truck, it's a little sketchy. You start thinking Timothy McVeigh. If Dmitry do it, it's a good time. This is like that's what they do in Russia. You're like, oh, yeah, in Russia, they blow up trucks truck. It's a little sketchy. You start thinking Timothy McVeigh. If Dmitry do it, it's good time. This is like that's what they do in Russia. You're like, Oh yeah. In Russia, they blow up trucks all the time. It's no biggie. Don't worry about where that ammonium nitrates coming from. So I found it while the trans girl was Zach founded to the trans girl sending him pictures and he's like, I'm gripping it now until boom. Oh,

should I let it go or hold on? That's not a Dr. Disrespect persona. That man should. Dr. Disrespect would take charge of his own orgasms. He wouldn't let a What is that reply? What is that reply? That's the least sexy reply ever. Nice firm grip. Yum. Yeah, it's like he was texting me about this. I'm like, Oh oh yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. This was about farmer carries. You're so wrong. But Doc is clearly getting workout

advice from this trans woman who strips online and does sex work. And so he was doing farmer's carries. He'd been holding 100 pounders for quite some time. And when he dropped them, boom, they hit the floor. That's true. And we have to keep in

mind these are screenshots of a famous huge content creator. and when he dropped them, boom, they hit the floor. And that's what he was saying. That's true, and we have to keep in mind, these are screenshots of a famous, huge content creator, take it to the bank. True. What I was gonna say was, his thing is nice, firm handshakes. It's like one of his sort of catchphrases. Yeah, it's Dr. Disrespect

and the big firm handshake is a thing. So that's where the nice firm grip comes from. It's a reference to his persona. Yeah, that was hilarious when a talk of disrespect posted his, yes I did text with miners in a sexual way. That guy, the quartering, his immediate response was firm handshakes bro. And everyone's like, what the fuck? Did you read what he said? This is not the time to go, yeah, firm handshakes man, cool. Yeah, this is not the time to read, yeah, firm handshakes, man. Cool. Yeah. This is not the time to read the first like one line of a post and be like, I got to get in on it for the engagement. I'll wrap up reading this a

bit later. That Jeremy the quartering guy is so desperate for acceptance and clout from anybody else. He's like, yeah, man, cool. Hey, yeah. And you're like, dude, this is the time to like back off this. You're picking the wrong team right now. Yeah, it doesn't seem like there's. Well, I hope he gets replatform and he comes back and he sheds some light on all of this. Well, he's not bad for YouTube, is he?

Just demonetized. So you don't want to get demonetized. Yeah, you don't want to work for free. So he it's going to be a while before he comes back. He's not getting paid because it'll be big when he comes back. Yeah, people want to see what I went to his subreddit like a while before he comes back and he's not getting paid because it'll be big when he comes back. Um, yeah, people want to see, I went to his sub Reddit like a while back or like one of them and there were still people in there. Well,

I think most of the people in there are like until I see the text messages, I'm with the doc. I need to see what he said before I can like go against this guy who, who, you know, did you see when a guy had like the president of Twitch or CEO or whatever on this was like two years ago and he goes, Hey, you know, I do want to ask you why was district Dr. Disrespect banned? And then the CEO was like, well, the thing is we found out Doc was communicating with aliens and you know, we had to put it. He was like making doing a bit

and you're like bro did you not think that years later when this came out people were going to go hey there was like uh child safety concerns on your platform and you're making little jokes out of it and it's kind of weird like the whole space that like there's a lot of people who aren't treating this stuff seriously who don't understand that like, you have a lot of these creators who yes have like minor audiences that are watching them. And a lot of them just like, are not of the sane mind to go, oh, I should not be talking to minors in any way, I should not be making like weird jokes with them. That's kind of what happened with Justin Roiland was I don't know if you remember when he was getting nailed. Because when when Rick and Morty got big, he had a bunch of like fans show up and like female fans. And a lot of people are saying, oh, he was sexy and then he was trying to have sex with them. I read those texts and I think it was more of a guy who's like, oh, hey, these are just my fans. I can make little stupid sexual jokes

and comments or whatever else. Nobody told me, dude, just don't talk to them. It's not, it's not useful. So he wasn't trying to schedule a meetup at TwitchCon? Exactly, like I'm talking disrespects. Supposedly what's being alleged was way worse than what Justin Roiland did. I think Justin Roiland,

I don't know all the details of what he was accused of, but didn't a lot of it end up being like, oh, that didn't happen. I thought it was exonerating on the girlfriend beating stuff, but I think, you know, maybe she just said, nah, he didn't beat me up after he gave her some money, you know? Yeah. The big news story was the reason all this stuff comes up is once you get hit with

one thing, every guy who ever hated you for anything goes, Oh, I always knew that was a bad guy. And they start telling extra stories or sharing texts. But the big, the initial allegation was, yeah, like girlfriend, it was like domestic abuse charges or whatever. And supposedly like false imprisonment, which can be like a girl being like, I want to leave. And you slam the door. You're like, you're not going anywhere. You know, but everybody makes it. Everyone makes it. Yeah. But everybody goes like, oh, he locked her in a cage and he beat her with a stick. I'm like, no, they're probably having an argument. And it got out of control. But anyway, the whole thing, I think got tossed.

I think there just wasn't enough evidence. It was a he said, he said situation. He did got tossed. I think there just wasn't enough evidence. It was a he said he said situation. He did got tossed. Well, he lost everything. He's still totally excised from the Rick and Morty. Of course he is. They hired a new guy. Is he wealthy? Well, he's definitely wealthy from yeah, he had multiple. He has that show. He's got that Solar Opposite show. He's got that video game that came out. So yeah, he can ride it out. He'll make a comeback. Yeah, he can ride it out. He'll make it come back. There's new voice actors. They got a new... Like people think that, like, I used to think this.

I saw Baba Booey on the Howard Stern show, got abused by everyone. I've talked about this before. And like 19-year-old me is like, for that kind of money, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't care. I couldn't walk the streets without people saying, Baba Booey, Baba Booey to me. I wouldn't care if I couldn't walk the street without people saying bubba booey bubba booey to me. I wouldn't care.

He has money. It turns out money doesn't completely insulate any feelings you might have. If there's like thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of people watching everything you do and finding things to dislike about it, it's hard on you. Like people aren't meant to be observed like that most anyway. Very true. Dude, that's why I'm so surprised we don't have more like crazy suicides with some of these like, uh, you know, online cancel culture campaigns.

I don't know if you guys saw that comic, but Gardist who actually did kill himself because of some like completely bogus, really made up charges. There's this guy, Ed Piscore. He was like a great guy at a YouTube channel, just talking about comics. And at some point this girl goes, oh, Ed Piscore is a creep. You know, he was sliding into my DMs, you know, inviting me to stay over or whatever else. And Ed Piscore was genuinely just like a nerdy guy who's like, yeah,

if you're in town for the con and you need a place to crash, like you can crash at my house, you can make assumptions that like, oh, he was trying to bang that girl. But if you read the text messages, it really doesn't sound like that at all. It really sounds like he was just a comic creator trying. She was like another comic like creator. He's like, yeah, if you're in town, like trying to do the con, I know hotels cost a shit ton. You know, I have a spare bedroom or whatever. So turning this whole like crazy thing and it got like, like again, just based on this girl's DMs, that the local news, like he had a gallery showing it canceled,

and the local news showed up at his parents' house, and they're like, do you know about these messages online? You're like, what the fuck story is this? And the guy just went, and again, cause comics, let's be real, is a space full of liberal SJW douchebags who are constantly crying about everything.

They completely brew it out of proportion. They're like, this guy is going to prevent you from getting, he's going to say, give me a blowjob. I'll get you a publishing deal or whatever. Like all these made up shit. And he just finally, he wrote it down. He's like, you bullies when I'm killing myself. Congratulations. Like I'm done.

Jesus. I'm a little, is this a stand-up comic or a comic book guy? Oh, comic book guy. Yeah. Okay. And he had like, he had a yet met a great you like YouTube channel just talking about the history of comic books. He actually just one you know post.

Post human is that how you say it you wanted the Eisner award for his book and his whole family showed up to accept it and the sand cancel culture Jack asses who were like spreading all these messages going we have to ban him from the this guy's whole life was comic books. And these guys were basically gonna say, you're never gonna make a comic book in this town again. We're gonna make sure everybody knows

you're like a sexual abuser based on these text messages that are nothing. And he said, well, if I can't make comic books, I don't care anymore. So I'm just gonna kill myself. It was actually like a pretty, as far as suicides go, you go, yeah, you know, that's a pretty badass suicide way to just be like, fuck it. I don't want to be on this planet anymore.

You guys have ruined the only thing I love. So what happened? How soon after he killed himself did the tune change in that? Immediately, immediately, everybody was like because at first everybody gets scared. They're like, well, I can't, you know, come out. And everybody like quietly is like, well, I know it's not that bad, but I'll just wait for it to blow over. And I'm sure he's fine. And, you know, it's not going to be a big deal.

And the second he fucking kills himself, everyone goes, fuck, why didn't I say something? Why didn't I, you know, come out? Even me, I didn't know the guy. And I remember it like it came out and I'm like, you know, it's not really for me to get involved. I don't know the guy personally. And after he killed himself, I'm like, I should have just said, like, this is bullshit. You know, but you get you get because all the all the guys are out there on Twitter and they go, Oh, what you're you're okay with like abuse and you abuse

women and blah, blah, blah. You're a fucking pedophile. She was only 17. You're like, okay, I don't want the grief. Never mind. But yeah, it was just like one of these and I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often. You know, the other one that I look at. So that one, it sounds like it's just a misinterpreted text or made up story. The thing that happens a lot is people don't look like they used to. This is actors. Erin Moriarty, when the boys dropped, everybody was shitting on her because she used to be prettier.

Zac Efron, Zac Efron, his face has changed. Now it's kind of spurs. Yeah, I've got like Easter Island head. Well, he had an accident of some kind. But it doesn't add up. The accident is like five years apart from the facial change. Like it's... Is it? Yeah, I looked into it. Look, I make mistakes, but yeah, it might have been... Aaron Mori already got plastic surgery to like... It seems that way, yeah. Yeah, she looks more like a cat than that way. Yeah Tom Cruise got a lot of attention lately because I guess he parachuted into the Olympics and his face looked a lot different than it used to and

I'm like that dick from always sunny. What was her name? She looks completely different I didn't know that if t1 I mean, you know, she's hanging in there I remember journey not only They put that CGI shit on her too like like that that weird filter that makes her I see it every now and then This is always sunny. Yeah. Yeah, and then um, the Marvel guy who played is it Hawkeye the white guy who could shoot bow and arrow Yeah, Jeremy Renner. Yeah, so he got older as we all do it and his neck got kind of loose and Everyone was talking about that and it's like God it is hard to have that many eyes on you and when you are the product and Someone's like daddy you look expired bro. Like, oh, you know, do I look expired Anthony Hopkins, dude There's this show on a peacock. It's actually pretty good.

It's, it's, it's a, those about to die. It's about the Roman empire and gladiators and it goes back and forth between the emperor's family and like slaves and gladiators and chariot racers and shit like that. It's, it's a good time. But Anthony Hopkins is the emperor of Rome and he looks a hundred. He looks so old.

He can't have much more time left. I bet he's 92 in RL. He's 86. Is he? He looks 92 at least. He looks rough. I can't tell the difference between 82 and did you say he looks frail? He looks like like like his character in the show.

I'm like, is he going to die? Is it? Is it? I brought need to is that what 82 looks like? No, by like the Biden is 82. It is not right. I But what I'm saying is I wouldn't be only to say that's what he looks like they hit him with the spray tan You know, they don't use a good a nice. Yeah, he's a great 82. He's a fantastic 82. He's like top 2% 82 year olds in the world because they're hitting him with, he's got a makeup artist, a hairdresser, and he's got a spray tan operator. Like plus-

A personal doctor. Plus his boy operate the cameras that get put, well, all right, he goes out in public. So there's all kinds of cameras. But when he's in the oval, when he's on camera for a real event, like he looks good. He looks good for him too. I would argue he looks good sometimes. He has good days. Sure. You mentioned, you mentioned Jeremy Renner. He got hit by

a snow plow. Do you remember the snow plow thing that happened like a year ago? Not a snow plow. Snow cat. Like what they use in- Traded things to that they use on ski slopes, not a truck with a plow. Snowcat. Like what they use. The threaded things that they use on ski slopes, not a truck with a plow. Okay. And so like what, how did that happen? Did he, he bought one and then he ran over himself or he let a friend fuck around with his snowcat and then he got hit? All right. So here's what, this happens occasionally. You'll have a story where two guys and there's an accident and it's ambiguous exactly what went down.

They're like, oh, it all happened so fast. They were horsing around clearly, right? Like, they were- I'm gonna ride on the front of it. You ever see that guy? There's this video of a farmer with a hay baler and he jumps out the side of the tractor and runs in front of it and lays down and lets it bail him into a square bale of hay. Jesus Christ.

It's clearly fake. But I thought it was real forever. And I was like, that should have killed him. Because I know generally how hay balers work. I've driven one before. And I was like, maybe he knows right where to lay. But I think that's what happened with Jeremy Renner. I think they were horsing around with a fucking around cat. And he's never going to be right. He's still he said that he's like I'll never be the same again

You're like man. He's right. Yeah on the hay baling things So I watched this youtuber and his whole thing is making hay. That's what he does He leases farms and makes hay and he's got a pretty big operation anyway He has subscribers who think that hay baling reference is the video you talked about is real. And they're all like, I'm gonna prank you. I'm gonna lay out in the field when you're bailing someday. And I'm gonna be in one of your hay bales. Oh, issue like a public. What do they

call it public? Announcement? Oh, yes. PSA. Yeah. And he's like, do not lay in the fields while I'm bailing. Do not do that. Yeah, real chance I won't see you. I'm looking at like so many instruments and such like while he's doing that job. Yeah. And I think there's also like, I don't know like how hard it's working how full the bail is how much 20 and he's a lot to monitor at the same time. And he's like, there's a real chance I'll run you over. And it's not like that

video you die, you die, you'll be a bloody mess. You'll have just a smushy hay bale. The cows aren't gonna want. Oh, they'll love it. They don't mind. I just found a list of Jeremy Renner's entire injuries. This is so much worse than what I thought. I thought he kind of just got clipped over the ankles. You know what a funny game would be? Like take his list and take Kobe's autopsy report and see if we can see if we can distinguish which one is which. Like as soon as I see the de-glove penis I know who's who. Thank you. Oh god.

I always have to bring up Kobe's de-gloved penis when I can't believe I found both of these that quickly. Leave out the de-gloved penis. This is a challenge. This is like 20 pages of autopsy report. And they really go into detail with these things. Well it was his too. The doctors were really taking their time like measuring his de-gloved penis and such. Now I'm curious. taking their time like measuring his like here is a child's arm. Oh wait no no no. I don't see what happens. Both his pinkies are there. How do we get an extra?

Ah looks like a snake died over here too. Oh my god. I will say honestly this is harder than I thought because Jeremy Renner's injuries are so bad that some of these there's like overlap in what happened to kobe falling out of the sky in a fiery cataclysm and this guy horsing around with a snowcat. See the way Woody likes to hold the dock to the fire, I feel that way about kobe so I never let it slide that he raped that lady in wherever it was. Kobe was a way better player. Colorado? That sounds right. Kyle who's this? Six broken ribs in 14 places. Oh, that's gotta be Jeremy Renner. You think that's Renner? Yeah.

That is Renner. Nailed it at one point. Blunt trauma to the neck, left shoulder, and lower abdomen. Kobe. Kyle? I'm gonna go Renner again. That's Kobe. I need to not be making it clear. It was these torn to shreds and they're losing. Traumatic amputation of lower extremities. That's Renner again. Yeah, Renner runners are six broken ribs in 14 places, three breaks in lower pelvis, one half a break in femur, displaced distal femur, right ankle broken, left leg broken, tibia broken, left

ankle broken, right clavicle broken, right shoulder blade broken, eye socket jaw mandible broken, left hand broken, wrist fractured, left foot, three breaks, two middle toes broken, left side of foot cracked, lung collapsed, liver pierced with a rib bone, head, major lacerations to the back, stapled shut, can't hear out of right ear. What? Major strain to right knee, unknown extent, that seems kind of thrown in here. Contusion and impact to left eye. That is wild listed. Wait, did it happen to his Hawkeye? Zach, will you show me a picture of a snowcat? Because I'm picturing the- is it the thing with treads? It's the thing with the shining. I need to see one though to try to-

Looks like a tank. It's like a snow tank, right? Okay, I want to make sure I was thinking of the same thing. It's the black thing with the shining drives to try and save everyone. Alright, so we know what happened. Clearly it ran him over. Yeah. For a while I was like,

what does like a snowcat have like a boom arm? But as I'm thinking, I'm doing what Taylor said, like thinking of the snowcat from The Shining, and I'm like, wait, he just got crushed. Imagine those blades like running you over. He doesn't have to. Oh, so that's not the one that got him. No, I think Renner's Dunzo if that's the one.

They got some smaller ones. I would assume he doesn't have like a giant industrial. I mean, he's Jeremy fucking Renner Hawkeye can afford a snow cap. What is he what was he doing with it? Does he like plow his own snow? Just just futzing around. I mean, I wouldn't I mean, maybe. I'm wrong. It's a 14,000 pound snow plow. I think I'm so I'm sorry about saying snow. It's a fourteen thousand pound snow plow. I think I'm so I'm sorry about saying snow was a plow. Yeah, but fourteen thousand pounds

and he had just used it to get somebody's car unstuck. I guess it was suck in the snow. Then he got off the plow. Oh, here he is. That was my assumption. Was he just let him in it or let it run? It's's blurry I don't know does look like him that's him okay that's him all right all right good job

Zack thank you Zack I guess it wasn't snow can that's the body cam in short he helped on he helped unstuck somebody's car he got out and the thing like wasn't in park and it rolled over him. Boom. Oh, he was being nice like Anton Yelchin. I'm watching this body cam footage right now. I got a fresh guy's Durango on that Facebook link. No, it was a Jeep. I want to get this out, too.

It was rolling. And while it was rolling, he tried to jump into the driver's seat to stop it from. Yes, what I assumed happened was he left it running. He jumped out. It was probably stopped like it was like in a snowbank or something. And he's like, oh, it stopped. He forgot to put it in park. And it's a good deal of blood on the snow. He's a stunt man for that one, huh?

Yeah, he is. Marvel movies went to his head. He thought he could jump into a moving snow cat. He thought he really could disarm bombs. A stunt man probably would have done that cool. Yeah. I saw Jeremy Redder walk on stage. He looked good in his outfit. I can't tell if he's really lopsided like this or if his blazer just fit funny. It was probably the lopsidedness. Recovering from grievous injuries. Is Taylor blind or was he crippled? I couldn't see a limp but the camera had like three cuts and he was walking from behind like you didn't get

to really see his gait like I wanted. Well it seems like his left side caught hell so he probably is a little... Dude there is just blood on the snow he got fucking squashed. Shit. Yeah I thought it might have been a little overblown when they were like, he almost died. No, very clearly. That's like a worse conglomeration of injuries than most people will ever suffer. We already lost Black Panther. We can't lose Hawkeye. My Panther died. Yeah.

Answer. Smoked too many. No, I heard about this for some reason. I didn't think it was the Black Panther actor. I thought it was a supporting Actor it from the movie Black Panther. There there he is. I Mean if after those injuries, that's how he's walking. I think he's doing great Yeah, well, I was there's like a whole article about all the physical He's taking the physical rehabilitation. Seriously. He's going nuts because he's like I gotta get back to work

I'm hot shout out to Jeremy for surviving kind of a Hell of his Getting this no plow. Oh fuck fellow physical boron though, like I I feel for him. I oh yeah one time I was working on my truck and the the Tacoma the parking brake it it was more like a suggestion you know like it would slow the car down kind of but if it was on any kind of would roll and you had to have it in gear anyway the parking brake was on but it wasn't in gear and it started rolling

back down my driveway so I did the same thing Renner did I opened the door while it was rolling down the hill. I hopped in the driver's seat, I hit the brake, everything worked out fine. But it could have gone the other way. I have a steep driveway, but not like a super long driveway. And it was maybe two winters ago after we got a lot of snow. And I had like pulled up and I was just going to park my car in on my driveway because there was something in the garage at the time and I parked it and I got out and as I was getting out and like opening the door my whole car started sliding backwards and I had like a cognitive like I was I wanted to jump back in the car and I literally pulled myself back away

from the door because I had like a flash image in my head of myself like getting clipped by the door and then having my head. Oh, yeah. Loaded like a cantaloupe on my, my snowy driveway. And I was like, no, just step back. It'll slide to the bottom of the driveway and then you can just drive it back up. And that's what I did. I'm mad. Reddit got rid of that board where you could just watch videos of people getting

crushed by industrial equipment and falling into bailers and shit. Because that shit instilled, when I watched all that shit, I was like, oh, don't work in a Chinese factory. Don't try to chase down your car that's running backwards. It's just like, I really don't ride a bike in Brazil. Is it bad to grab a lathe? Yes, it is very bad. Don't wear anything near a lathe. If you're working with a lathe, you should be completely naked at all times. And if your penis touches your legs, because they just suck any part of you into that thing and spin you around like a rag doll. What workers will tell you, if you work around spinny things, gloves are more dangerous than you think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like the leather palms on a

glove will really grip and you'll get caught up and it'll be a problem. Oh yeah. Dude, lathes in China are like mosquitoes in Africa from what I can tell. They're just, they can't stay away from those things and they're getting shredded. People just, they're constantly spinning shit for some reason. They just reach right in. One guy who's like 55 years old. He's clearly the lathe guy. It's not lathe day one. Just reaches in, gets torn to shred.

Kyle sent me one lathe accident video years and years ago, and I think I've only seen the same one a couple of times, and I hated it. Just seeing like, oh, man, you can go from like a person who could have had dinner that night to just a wet bag of meat spinning in a circle. And I've seen the other side of that twice recently, right? So it's picture a big industrial spinny thing. It might be a lay there's something called PTO shaft and some guy gets too close to it

twice. This has happened like this month and it completely rips their shirt or jacket off and they're a thousand percent okay they're just disrobed do you know how close that was yes i do know how close that was i just lost my button down shirt did you see uh that atl Atlanta airport sucked into engine? I need to find that story. This like woman who was like on the tarmac, I guess, wasn't paying attention and walked in front of a going engine, a running engine, and she got sucked in. And like the news picture like showed the aftermath. And it was just it's like a cartoon just

like a red spray out from behind of the engine like it's it's fucking insane like you even have a second to realize what's happening when you're sucked in like there must be a split second where you realize your error then that's so scary there's nothing you can do the way the suction works like when you're not in front of a tube like i'll make up numbers So don't be a six foot is deadly nine feet doesn't feel like much You know like it all comes from right in front of that engine yeah, remind I saw one video years ago of people getting out of a helicopter and Someone like the way you'd like get out of a car when someone parks sometimes you walk around the back to you know Walk in or whatever and this person walked around the back to, you know, walk in or whatever.

And this person walked around the back of the helicopter while the rotor was still going and it just, just head gone. Just dead instantly. I mean, that's obviously not a thinking man's mistake, but they're like kind of invisible when they get spinning like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's, oh.

Every time I see videos like that, I'm like, I'm no better than that person. Like I could have been got, like I could be the first to die. At least not on your worst day, right? That guy's probably better than that guy 80% of the time. Yep. Yeah, just one horrid mistake and like,

no, life's over, that's the end. I could see myself, you know, taking out a ladder, not seeing the power lines. The next thing I know I'm one of these guys. Ooh. Just a stab at the back. I'm not above that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like,

I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, I'm not a fan of that. I was like, sitting there and then one guy reaches back and touches the third rail and his buddy's like what are you doing man and the girl reaches for him she's like and his other buddy like friends are on fire and ten million volts are going through

their body and then they're like somehow they survived that which made no sense to me just like this year I was installing a ceiling fan myself and Jackie my smarter wife says should we turn it off at the circuit breaker I was like no I thought of that I turned it off at the circuit breaker? And I was like, no, I thought of that. I turned it off at the switch. That apparently is not how that works. When you turn it off at the switch, there's still power. You're working.

Dude, the ceiling. This is the Game of Thrones room. So the ceiling is like, I don't even know, 20 feet tall or something. I'm way up there on a ladder. And thankfully, all I did is see sparks. I was like, like, I don't even know 20 feet tall or something. I'm way up there on a ladder. And thankfully, all I did is see sparks. I was like, Oh, I didn't do this right. Jackie, not that you were right. But go ahead and hit that breaker down.

No, I don't do that. I don't understand how electricity works in that way, like with killing people sometimes. It's like maybe it's just like how healthy your heart is. Because you'll see someone get shocked to shit off a third rail and they'll survive. And then someone will stick a fork in an outlet and die. There's the guys who get hit by lightning and then they're like their whole face is gone. You know, like they try to rebuild them, but they don't have eyes anymore because their eyes

shot out of their head. And you're like, how come that how that happened to that guy? And then other guys. Yeah, nothing happens. That guy wishes it happened. Jesus Christ. Yeah. They just get their hair singed. What an unavoidable hair singed. That's the best. Yeah. Yeah. That's a cool story.

I I know I've told this before. My high school girlfriend, I dated a really, really pretty girl my senior year, but I got her at the perfect time. She was making brownies and her hair like singed as she removed them from the oven. So like this fucking dime was like a seven when I dated her out of my league. You were like, all right, we got eight months till the hair goes back. So just like the first four weeks I dated her, whatever she had

singed hair. I don't think I've ever accidentally really shocked myself on anything. Oh you sweet summer child. I've been I don't know how many times I have. I would get shocked on the shot all the time. When I was a little kid, my dad managed a bunch of Domino's pizza franchises. And I don't know if you ever been to Domino's, but they make the pizzas on these big metal tables, you know, with the dough. I was just hanging out, running around and I touched the table. And for some reason, there was like a wire touching it. And I just was like, and I started like screaming and crying.

And for some reason, everybody in the restaurant's like, and I started like screaming and crying. And for some reason, everybody in the restaurants like, what the fuck's wrong with your kid? He really loves pizza. They're like, what's wrong with kids? They just started crying for no fucking reason. And then like 10 minutes later, an employee goes to make a pizza and they're like, Oh fuck, that thing's just a giant electrified table. That's what kids like to do.

I'm trying to tell you, they're like ripping out a little table. They run around and cry with their black fingernails falling off, like that's what... How old were you? I don't know, I must've been really young because I remember all going, yeah, kids just cry for no reason. And I was like, no, it hurt.

And they're like, you're retarded. And then finally they're... Guy in an electrified table. I did touch the stove when I was very little. Ah, yeah. Say that again. I touched the stove because I didn't, I wasn't buying how hot my mom implied it was, but she was telling the truth. She should have known when it melted that entire GI Joe foot off.

Who could have guessed your mom had your best interests in mind? I burnt my eyelashes off and my eyebrows off before with like a pro like a gas explosion suddenly no different time. I mean that that was the one I thought No, no, I I liked lighting gases that exploded and made fireballs and stuff. I'd feel like hated eyebrows And didn't quite understand that if you lit like gas inside of a pipe it would should make a fireball out one end Got shot so many fucking times by like 220 and and like wall sockets But I think the difference is sometimes they they get like locked in on I saw a video once of They're in like a gas station and the guy goes to grab a soda and the machine is grounded out shorted out through the handle

it's one of those old-timey metal handles and he's just like, uh Stuck to it and some dude has to drop kick him like sparta kick him. Yeah, you get stuck to it It's weird. Yeah, your muscles clench up from the the the electricity Yeah, i've heard this test for electricity with the back of your hand safer I wouldn't think about that in like a vending machine. I don't need a Coke that bad. Let's go. Well, I always watch that GIGO PSA where bulldozer comes along and take the wire off the car or whatever the fuck the black one was.

GIGO PSA to not shock yourself for GIGO? Yeah, they're like, stay in the car. You remember when those guys were making those GIGI. Joe PSA's, the fake ones? Yeah, that was one of them. I saw one where a puddle was electrified and one person falls in the electric puddle and is dying and the other person tries to grab him and then he's shocked and he falls in and the third person's like, nopes out and leaves him to die.

I want to know the answer to that semi retarded question that Trump asked about how electricity and water works. Like I want like a real electric expert to just tell me if you drop a really powerful electric battery or something that's still live, how close do I have to swim to that in a big body of water before it reaches me. I'm not sure if we're ripping on Trump. If that was so stupid that he doesn't know what happens. And I'm like, low key, I don't really know what happens. Like, I see if I stand next to a car battery, that's nothing. But if we scale it up to something that powers a boat well. Yeah, I don't know. Like, would you feel it? You probably, like, you'd probably feel it

before you got to like the painful part, right? Maybe you'd like feel a tingling or something weird in the water. Is it even discharging electricity? So you're very close to the battery, I guess, through the whole hole. I guess not that close then. But I never understood that either, why you don't get shocked. Or if lightning strikes the ocean, how far away would a fucking fish or a shark have to be before they were cool like it didn't matter it would dissipate like pretty quickly because it just would spread out

in so many directions that you're not going to really get the full brunt although i guess if you're in a pool you get destroyed right that's true how often did it happen though is that a myth so that my parents didn't have to watch us swim well pools contained though, so it can't go anywhere. Well, and like pools are low to the ground. I've seen that video of those people standing under a tree in a lightning storm that kills them all. It hits the tree and they all fall over dead. That's... that sucks. That'd be a sad wake up.

I saw a video of like a quartet of golfers get taken out at once. They do with like the only thing standing in the area. With the worst thing. Yeah. Check out this titanium driver, John. You wouldn't believe. It's, it's, it's an extra two feet long. So I'm going to hold it in the air where everyone can see it.

It's like they were just kind of ignoring the rain, you know, playing through and zap. Not supposed to do that. It, it's like, uh, I don't know, upsetting, shocking. Like when I just see someone click from living to dead that quickly, like it's wild. Suddenly four people are, I think dead. My uncle was operating a, like a floor jack for a car. You know, it's got the, it's all metal four wheels and you've got a handle you pump up and down to jack the car up.

And lightning hit a tree outside, not even in their yard, but like down the road a little. And it went like through the ground somewhere and up through that metal handle and shocked him so badly he had to be carried indoors. Like they took him inside and laid him down. And then my cousin, his son was in a poultry house and Those things are full of metal and there's metal wires hanging those big metal feed lines down the sides

and he was he had his hand resting on the metal feed line walking through the place and Lightning hit the building and it ran in and hit him so bad. He was like burst into tears just Squalling he was a man grown by this time. So we thought he was gay when we saw him cry. But it turned out it was lightning. It turned out he was struck by lightning and it wasn't gay at all. No, no, that's how you become gay. Lightning does it to you. Oh, no. That's where gays come from.

So he stood up, dusted himself off and sashayed out of that poultry house. Yeah, he dressed so much more nicely after that day. Everything was different. Yeah. Yeah, well now that I mentioned it, I've never been struck by lightning though, and I fear it greatly though. Growing up, I always unplugged everything. Like, like, it was, my parents were like, unplug the TV! Unplug the TV? Yeah, I'd be like, I'm not unplugging that fucking TV. That's a myth. Lightning killed the fucking TV. Yeah. And they're like, didn't you have it unplugged?

I was like, I did. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that wild? It comes from the snocket. Maybe it happened not while you were gone telling me to unplug the TV. Maybe it was some other time than that since you've been gone. Yeah. No, I didn't watch the CSI Miami whole lineup while you were gone.

They're like checking the TiVo. Yeah. This is starting to not add up. TiVo cut off at 11.54. No, no, that's wrong. Did you guys remember being told that same vein as the TV thing? Like don't take a shower or don't take a bath when it's thunderstorming out. That's something that I've let go by the wayside.

I... Uh-uh, let me tell you why. Like, all right, so my fear is that the metal piping that leaves the tub is going to, it's gonna make it so that lightning could hit like outside or the perimeter of the house, but it follows that piping in somehow to the tub and electrocutes the the the water that I'm in and kills me. Well let me tell you about

the journey I just took. As you're saying this I'm like what a ridiculous notion. I'm on team Taylor this is wild but I'll google it. I googled can you take a shower during a thunderstorm. Sorry the answer is no. Lightning can travel through plumbing. It's best to avoid all water during a thunderstorm. Do not shower, bathe, wash dishes or wash your hands. Yeah, I've been rolling the dice. I literally thought in my head, I was like, yeah, a bath, of course, that'll get me because but who takes baths like I'm not a every day

and woman and I pictured like the myth busters where they pee on an electric fence but by the time the pee gets to the electric fence it's in like individual droplets and so it doesn't chain up I was always like yeah that's like what a shower is like it's it's all in droplets by the time it gets to me. You just say Mythbusters when they tested it. Mythbusters did the P1, not a shower thing, I don't think. Right, right. Yeah, I don't know. It makes sense to me.

It's on the internet, but Kyle's right. I guess I'll stay dirty when it's raining. I neglect my ablutions when rain comes from the sky and thunder is allowed. Well, it's said to stay away from plumbing. You can still go outside and shower. Oh, that's true. Just go stand in my yard You ever seen the old John Candy Dan Aykroyd movie the great outdoors Yes, there's a part where you meet this guy. They're all vacationing at the lake. They live in Chicago. They're vacationing

down in some lake that probably doesn't exist in fictional, Illinois and They meet a guy who's been struck by lightning and he's like got a white streak through his hair and he's very odd and he has a stutter that he got from the lightning and they're like that's Earl right there. Earl how many times have you been struck by lightning now? And Earl goes six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six Look at the sky running and sure enough, they live in a tree house like what was happening. There are people like that who have been struck like two, three times like, and they're not forestry agents up polls all the time. You know, it's just like, it's the same way as those guys who won the lottery, like multiple times. There was a guy that were doing the news report and he's like, this is where I was when I won the lottery.

And I bought a ticket just like this, scratched it off. I've won again. More this time, quite a bit more. Like he'd won like a ton of money sitting there on camera. One of the sickest like, like how does that happen? Like we've all played the lottery at least once or twice to scratch off here and there and like this guy's never hit him. Never, never hit. No, never. No, never. I don't think I've ever bought a lottery ticket, but I've been given them.

Like, I don't know if this happens outside, like the Northeast much, but you go to a party and there's a lottery ticket on every plate. Mm hmm. Yeah. Like Christmas. Christmas. Yeah. Be like, oh, you're there's some scratch offs in your stocking. I tried doing that once, but I did it for a family. Like I went to Christmas at some family's house and I was like hey I got everybody a scratch ticket and none of them had ever done scratch tickets before and they all thought they had won a million dollars

I'm like no you have to match the fucking number Gave all of you a million Why did it say a million or something? You gotta match like three cherries or something. They're like not matching the things right. I'm like let me just look at it. Nobody won. Oftentimes it'll be like 32 little individual squares you scratch off and each one is a dollar amount and if you get that dollar amount three times, you win it. And then there's a multiplier box off to the side. And it's like three times. Okay. That's a hundred dollars. And the multiplier is Holy shit, five. I went $500,

but it'll say a million out there twice, just like the old monopoly game from McDonald's. Like everybody's got boardwalk. We all waiting on park place. You know, did you ever have that kid in your school who swore he had the boardwalk ticket and him and his brother lost it? And you're like, yeah, no, no. I don't know why there was always like one kid who's like, yeah, I had the million dollar piece and I put it in my pocket and then, oh, it just went missing. I swear I do have a kid like that before. Yeah.

You know, I don't remember specifics, but that rang true when you mentioned it. Oh, I was like, if you had the million dollar. He's like, we were at the ball game. I'm like, if I was at the ball game and I won a million dollars, I would leave the ball game. What are you talking about? Yeah. Anyone who claims that is lying because there were no winning pieces. Because the one guy stole all the money. Yeah, exactly. No, he donated to charity. It all went to charity the way I remember it. Like the guy running the game, the guy running the game, I think for like two or three years in a row, like there were only two winning pieces and somehow he ensured that the money went to charity. Like he cashed them in or somebody else did that he gave it to something like that. There's a whole documentary on that guy. I haven't watched it,

but I understood that he just took the pieces and like gave them to family members to cash them in. I thought they donated charity. Yeah. My, as I'm like, my favorite charity is Taylor's House. And then I remembered, I mentioned my PayPal address on the show, like a couple shows ago. And for whatever reason, I was looking at my PayPal recently and I have all of these,

like one guy sent me 69 cents, another guy sent me $4.20, like those kept coming up. One guy sent me a bill for fucking Quickly and pay my Do that Tarkov has a flea market and you try to buy things quickly because everybody's trying to get the cheapest one So you're like you click it and then you tap yet i tap why on my keyboard so i'm like and like buy something but people will do the sneaky thing where yeah it only costs that much but it's in a package of 100 so you've just bought

one you wanted one have a hundred instead and it just it takes all your goddamn money and fills your stash up with like nuts and bolts another thing thing that can happen, maybe not anymore with the founding rate, but like a key will be able to use 50 times. So use it like 48, 47 times and then you sell it and they buy it full price because so quickly they didn't realize it was used up. They rank them in order of keys now, but founding rates gone. Like if you die with something near gamma, you can put it on the market. You can even, you can buy things off the market, use them, decide you don't like it, and put them back on the market.

I saw a video that changed my mind on that. So people don't know Escape from Tarkov was riddled with cheaters and there was a monetary reason, real money transactions, a motivation I'm going for, a monetary motivation for them to cheat because they would get things in game through cheating and then sell them to people who struggled to get them in game without cheating.

And there it is. So they're like, all right, now you can only buy things that were like found in a particular way. Okay, the thing is that hurt casuals. And I sort of empathize with casuals now. Like it used to be, if you got something stuck in your gamma, which means you keep it if you die, that thing had value.

Just finding the LEDX was great. You'd go to interchange, everyone would race to the one room which had like a 5% chance of having a lead X, there'd be firefights there. And if you were the one who won and got in, he'd stick it in your gamma, and you'd have a blast with that that would fund your future raids. Now you have to get out with it. Well, until recently, you had to get out with it alive. And it's like shit unless your landmark good luck.

Yeah, I like the I like the state of the game right now. I am playing the PD like a pussy. I think it's better. I think when you play it as a single player game, it runs really well and it's fun and I don't get mad at it. I only have fun because I don't have any pieces of shit. Do they have this trip wires? I thought they were no big deal, but I've been watching people use them online. Oh my god. It's so shitty They're so hard to deal with they'll there but in this game. We try to walk through a bush. You'll be severely slowed

It's almost like walking through quicksand or sludge in a game. You have to you can't work out a life But as a game mechanic you may have seen it in those places before and so they'll put the tripwires in there So you it goes click and you can't move you're in sludge. Basically with the bush and I'm dead now So it's been fun to watch people I've been watching montages of people shit on people with the tripwires on Yeah, I doesn't do that. So you're not having to deal with it. The AI does, but it's AI and it's not as smart as a person. As far as I know, only one like specific, like boss character AI will do it.

And he doesn't know how to put them in bushes and be sneaky about it. He puts them like on the ground out and about. And you know, you can usually get, he also doesn't use the meta grenades that go off in like two seconds He uses three and a half second grenades or something so you can get away from it. But anyway, I've been I've been loving my Tarkov I've been playing way too fucking much of it. I got to tone it down. It's not healthy

It could become a disease like like like it's not like gambling not the kind of disease that eats your heart and soul away But more than kind of ruins your sleep schedule Well, I mean you're still having fun with it so keep grinding heart and soul away but more the kind that ruins your sleep schedule. Well I mean you're still having fun with it so keep grinding but if you keep grinding it this hard you're gonna burn yourself out rapidly I would think. I was watching you play some some age of mythology last night when you watched me play a little bit of Tarkov. It does look better. You had a nice couple of field streaks I was watching on Tarkov. I know it's against the AI but it was you were clicking on some heads. Oh I'm field streaks. I was watching on Tarkov. I know it's against the AI, but it was, you were clicking on some heads. Oh, I'm just the best.

I am pretty sharp right now. I've been playing every day for like five fucking hours a day. I bet Woody's pretty good at clicking on heads too. He's been Elden ringing it up, like religiously for weeks now. I beat Elden Ring yesterday. Really?

I still haven't beat that. And I beat the first two DLC bosses today. Give us a kazoo or something, Taylor. Can we get a silver? By the game I would just leave it with my tail between my legs cuz Clip at the beginning of every show Are you watching Chimp Crazy? No, I don't know what this is.

What's Chimp Crazy? I hope that Kyle has seen it. My wife is watching it. I have to catch up. And it is basically Tiger King. Remember the COVID era Netflix special? Yeah. But it's Chimps and it takes place in Missouri. Apparently, Missouri is a chimp hotbed of illegal activity

and there are all these like chimp people missing noses and shit. I don't think like chimp people. Can we strike that? Okay, I know what you're talking about. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

So I was hoping that Taylor would be like, yes, I'm addicted to Jim crazy. I can't wait for each episode every week. I think it's three episodes in on max. Yeah, it looks like there's two available now. Okay. Crazy. Oh, three episodes. I guess they don't have the third one for free yet. Former nurse turned exotic animal broker, Tanya Haddix, who refers to herself as the Dolly Parton of chimps, spends her days caring for animals in captivity. However, her limitless love for one chimpanzee spins into a wild cat and mouse game

with authorities and animal rights groups. Through the experience of Tanya and other chimp moms, Chimp Crazy reveals the bonds between owners and their highly intelligent grade eight pets, the risks humans take when they raise these animals as members of their family, and the risks to the welfare of the animals themselves.

My wife said they take these chimps to children's birthday parties in Missouri. That's not cool. Wait a minute. Wait, are you serious? Yes. I have direct experience with the chimp crazy. My second birthday, 1993. They brought it out to my parents house. Dude, does that makes sense to you now though like like

was it a baby champ or was it a man champ at my birthday party they were big champs they were okay see that okay see that does remind me of the Tiger King shit with the baby cubs and everything but like a live adult gym at a birthday party sounds like I don't know know, I don't know, bring a shark to a pool party. Like, what are you doing? In retrospect, it was a really just bad idea thing to do like chimps. All it takes is one second of them being a little upset and they'll rip your nose off. Even a little baby is strong. No, yeah. Well, these may be a little name me half a dozen instances of chimps being violent towards humans You're fucking the lady who gave it Vicodin and wine. That's one

Chip had been drug madam see when we talk about that champ who fucked that lady up I'm like you are with Michael Jackson like that chimp didn't do anything wrong. He was being bullied They kept him in a fucking bird cage all day. They probably made fun of him. They were getting him fucked up. Harambe was minding his own business and then this kid comes jumping in. Dude, everything's been fucked since Harambe.

There was no better way to handle that though. I can't recall the Harambe video. So he went up to the kid and just sort of stood by it? He was dragging the kid around the cage a little bit. Yeah, he was like grabbing and pulling him around. It was like at any moment he might have started ripping off limbs, but... He was about to peel that kid like a banana. Just trust me. I think it's all but guaranteed Harambe was going to kill that kid if they hadn't put him down.

I don't think so. I don't think so. Well, this would be a guerrilla. I mean, look, if the cops had a better record when it came to this sort of thing, maybe I could be on their side. But I bet having seen how they operate on the streets, that Harambe was, you know, not doing anything wrong. He was probably just driving down the street in a car that looked nice or something. I was going to say there's a chimp farm in Festus, Missouri.

I know exactly where Festus is. How far is the drive? Am I docked? I imagine chimps doing work. It'd be a couple of hours. Like that's more southern Missouri. But we've got to get past this segment because there's too many racist jokes. I want to make it. Yeah, I'm baiting you. I'm teeing you up.

Chimp farm. Oh, a plantation. Fuck, damn it. You guys just can't enjoy the purity and the fun of a chimp farm without resorting to I know. Chimp shouldn't be in captivity. These things are too fucking smart and too fucking dangerous. I don't want to be anywhere near a chimpanzee. All right. Are there any incidents that you saw in the show, Woody, where they were trying to violence, you know Deal with a violent champ. My wife's the one like I said, I haven't seen it yet. I have to catch up to her I heard about it. I keep a hates her and PETA I

Don't seem I don't really like them They're they're too against all the foods I like and then I also see stuff who knows if this is anti PETA propaganda But they'll be like I guess they kill a whole bunch of dogs They do shelters whole bunch of cats and whatnot. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. They use a lot of stuff It's not ideal be an explanation like if there's one thing that's true about Peter They do kind of like animals They will come and take an animal that you're not supposed to have that is doing well and treated fine And they will kill it because you having it is wrong. Like there's plenty of instances of that.

Yeah, some of them are like entirely against pets, like the extreme animal people where they think like they think you owning a dog is like slavery. Apparently, these people like homeless people having pets because I've seen like videos like Peter people like trying to rip a dog away from a homeless guy. Yeah, because I've seen videos of PETA people trying to rip a dog away from a homeless guy. And they're like, I don't know, that dog's probably happier than being dead, man. Whatever. Dude, there were a couple homeless guys

when I lived in the city that had juiced up never once in their life been hungry pit bulls. And it's not on a leash, it's just hanging out with its delts, like, not on a leash. It's just hanging out with its delts. Like just laying on the concrete. And like I would cross the street before I was like, when I was walking to the store, because it's like, that thing could lunge at me and bite clean through my ankle. Take my foot off. I'm not

fucking with that. And what's gonna happen? Is the homeless guy gonna jump into action when his crazed dog that he's probably been given little nibbles of meth comes to me? The pitbull thing reminded me one of the the games that were proposing in that that Roman gladiatorial show was They were like we've brought in 20 midgets from Persia and we're going to set them against an equal number of pitbull dogs to set them against an equal number of pit bulldogs. It was like, I was like, interesting, interesting. But this is a large affair. This is very important.

We need something more gravitas. And he's like, well, we have some red ass baboons. We will also make fight midgets. It's like this guy is just a one track mind. They were going to rape women, like human women with the red ass baboons. And he was like, I don't think my brother's into that sort of thing. I don't think that's really his style. And then he's like, we also have a ghost, a ghost lion.

And it's like, why don't you open with ghost lion? Yeah, you have a giant, a giant albino African lion. Let's start with that. You started with that guy. That guy's got 40 Persian midget slaves burning a hole in his pocket and he's trying to No one would buy the midgets 20 persian midgets versus 20 pit bulldogs like What's that like the teaser for the fights? That's going to be over in no time I think they arm the midgets a little maybe armor them maybe give them sticks or clubs a little So they get more fair you wouldn't want them bare-handed them, maybe give them sticks or clubs a little. That's more fair than-

You wouldn't want them bare-handed. You'd want them to put up a bit of a fight, but obviously the pitbulls are going to win, unless they really rally. What if they formed a tiny little phalanx? I'd like that. I hope that's in the show. The show's fun because the one brother's like the warrior brother and the other is like the gay artsy brother. And the warrior brother is like banging the queen of the Jews.

Like he conquered Jerusalem and took their queen as his concubine. But they're like kind of in love. So the gay brother makes a Roman game like this thing they're going to do. He's like, build the city of Jerusalem and then we'll burn it down. And then we'll have the women and children Jews flee out of the burning Jerusalem model and we'll set the lion upon them. And so that's the game we have. I'm really more into like the sword fighting.

If you could keep it to that, you're trying to sell midgets and Jews fleeing, give me swords. It was pretty dark. Tell me more about these Jews. Give me more of those guys with the tridents and the the rediarius. They set three rediarius. What is this? I can't be the only one. You have a trident and a net and you wear a specific helmet and you also have a short sword. It's a type of gladiator. So what they would do it wasn't just

Like they had a gladiator means that's your combination of weapons and armor Yeah, it was classes almost like a class in a video game like like like alright, you're the ready arias guy You're like the fisherman mock-up warrior man You have a trident and you have a net and there's a specific helmet and you also have a short sword And so they set three of those guys onto one giant champion guy. That was a cool fight They have this giant for the show. I don't know who he is, but he looks like he's seven fucking feet tall He's enormous. Is he a ready Arius? Or a Murmillo. I remember that one. That's also in age of mythology

He's a Thraix I think if I had to because he has a helmet kind of like that. Oh, no, no the Samness That's exactly what he is because he has a sword He has a shield like that and a big fucking helmet Although his sword is like this curvy thing like the 3x in the in the top row I feel like you guys know these words. We don't I'm just reading Were you new ready? You were never reading your book a gladiator. It's been like net guy. That would have been me. Yeah, I definitely read it. Everybody identified with net guy. Dude, leave this up. I feel like most practically the secutor, the Murmillo are what I'd want to be. But look at

the scissor guy at the bottom. That's pretty cool. He's got some sort of hook on a metal arm. Scissor. He can, he can, he like punch that into you or around your weapon. Oh, his arm has been replaced with a gauntlet. Yeah. He's got a giant metal gauntlet with a hook. Like a. Man, I would hate to have to fight in a fucking arena. I want to be the, the, in the viewing audience for that shit. Like, like. Oh yeah. I'd be so to fight in a fucking arena. I want to be the the in the viewing audience for that shit. Like that would be terrible. I'd be so nervous I'd be killed. I think those tiny shields would be a problem. The shield needs to have some mass to deflect

the blow. Like the galley that little one in the very center. If you hit me hard with the sword like that it only be a little bit different than hitting me directly on the arm listen man these matches can't last forever I mean we got the lions coming next I was gonna say the besti Arius looks like the worst but that's clearly what they're just doing to people when it's like that guy has to fight a lion you get a big spear and shorts if I could fight any of these it'd be top right because that's a girl yeah yeah yeah you take on the gladiatorics by the way i'm under the now is the quarius that type of gladiator or that guy's name

very funny very funny like where he has delivered my groceries yesterday Funny, Taylor. Very funny. Aquarius delivered my groceries yesterday. Oh my god. He didn't have to spear or anything, though. He wasn't ready for battle in the arena? No, he had shorts on and a hat. Oh, damn. No cool mask. No.

Most people, like, the names on my delivery orders from the grocery store are always like, Diamond, but not spelled the way diamond is. It's like D-Y-M-U-N-D. Diamond. That's like, Jesus fucking Christ. Is this on a birth certificate somewhere or are you just clowning Instacart? Like what is happening right now? It does not inspire confidence when I need them to make good replacements at the grocery store on the ball. The replacements they always fuck up. Oh man. grocery store on the ball. They'll rip you off sometimes. Like like like 24 pack of sodas is like I think like $12 or something like that. It's also do they tell them when they're

there like oh by the way make sure to get the meat that expires tomorrow. Yeah I'm like what is it do you know what I want what I'm like I want like a you know a pound of hamburger they're like cool and this want? What I'm like, I want like a pound of hamburger. They're like, cool. Hey, this expires tomorrow. I'm like, no, get something. I don't like the world. We had the opposite for a while. We had this Instacart woman who was fantastic, right?

She just did a really great job. And she's like, you know, since you like the work I do for you, we could cut Instacart out of this deal. You just put up your thing with Instacart, I'll make note of it then cancel it And then I will like individually buy it for you and we cut it out. I'm in oh nice So you found a good good job. We don't use her anymore, but we use her for like over a year. It was good

Yeah, the bags were smelling like marijuana when the groceries would come she had to be cut out dude that happens to me 50 percent of the time. The bags will reek of marijuana because they've been smoking in their car on the way to my place. And just the bags, I can be like, yeah, they're full of weed smoke in the plastic bag down in there. Tanner Iskra I've never gotten that from, I guess I pretty much never ever get my groceries delivered. I don't mind just going to the grocery store. I love last time I did is like The last time I'll ever do it I asked for diet Pepsi like a 12 pack of diet Pepsi and they brought me full sugar orange Fanta

It's like this isn't even in the same I know the store you went to and I've bought diet Pepsi there Fanta's on the whole other side of the soda aisle You didn't even and it was a guy's name, which means that he like, he just walked in and was like close enough and just threw it in there and then left. Yeah. Don't make tell, I'm sorry.

I should tell the rest of the Instacart story because what happened was this woman, like she delivered our groceries for a while and she was pretty cool. And she became friends with Jackie. And then she got into financial trouble and then they went to repossess her car. So then she came to me personally to pay off all her debt at which point she said, I promise bro, I'll

pay you better than I pay those other creditors if you would just make it so that I don't lose my car. They even tried to work with her like you know, it's gonna like save her life like listen, you can't keep this Mini Cooper that you're rocking around in. You gotta sell that, like, you know, it was good. It's like, save her life. Like, listen, you can't keep this mini Cooper that you're rocking around in. You got to sell that pay off your debt, turn it to something smaller. Maybe I'll help you with that. I was going to help you with that. And she's like, No, I don't want to deal in which I lose my mini Cooper. And

it's like, our relationship is kind of over now. Just tried to steal like $12,000 from me. You just want me to buy your mini Cooper for you Yeah, yeah, and that's that's the deal You should have bought the mini Cooper from her and then leased it back to her and then you could repossess it if she ever Stop, hey, uh, like three in the morning three in the morning. You're like, you know Jack and I just had quite the fuck session and we both want an ice cream sundae We've earned it burned at least 600 calories according to our watches. So chop to

She was upside down on the Mini Cooper, right? Like she's selling and get out of this dead, but she would have been a bad Upside down on a Mini Cooper not a great place to be. Yeah, no, not even a cool car Girls like them. I guess so. I don't know. I'd rather have that piece of shit. Dude, every Cybertruck video I see, it's genuinely a piece of shit. Like the interior design and like when I see them pulling the panels and the off the doors and the the the headliner, like there's a there's a big piece of plastic that goes from across the headliner from left side to right side of the roof of The interior of the car and it's like this is this sagging and it's like yeah

Like so bad you can clearly tear the whole car apart with your bare-man hands like like a man can tear that car apart With and look I get I get that you could fuck up most cars your bare hands, but this one seems easy It the one look that looks so cool to me. Look, I love that. That looks sick to me. But when I saw what that the what do you call it? The glove box in the middle or whatever the console that console at the tip where it sort of goes space age and tilts down, it looks like the defiant from fucking Star Trek. That that plastic shit there is like so cheap and flimsy and that dash to me looked like Honestly, it looks like a marble. It looks like a nice. Yeah, and and that's not what it looks like

That's not what it came out looking like so whistling Dixie bought that cyber truck and he meant to destroy it and sure enough if you Mean to destroy a truck it you do. Yeah, but here's the thing that a whistling diesel. I'm sorry. Thank you Zach and you do. Yeah. But here's the thing that oh Whistling Diesel. I'm sorry. Thank you, Zach. One, he slammed the door. Now excessively, people don't shut their truck doors that hard typically, but then when he opened it, it came apart in two. You know, like the whole interior part stayed behind and the door opened and it ripped it in two. So then he did another door. Same thing happened. Four for four, all four doors when slammed too hard, ripping two upon opening. It's like, it just seems poorly put together. You don't want like, like, I don't want to be a mindless cyber truck hater, but I'm going to say like, if you buy a year one cyber truck, you're making a financial mistake. It's a

show car. I mean, the only ones I see in L.A. are not being driven by guys who need a truck. They're driven by guys who want everybody to point at them. Yeah, it's not even a good car, though. It's not a good mode of transportation. And if you're talking about dollars for donuts, it's the worst truck on the market. It has to be like a hundred and twenty five thousand fucking dollars. And when you look at the competitors in that realm, you can get a F three fifty King ranch for like eighty two thousand dollars or some shit like which would you rather have an f-350 king ranch or a cyber truck you can get the h2 the h3 Hummer we're not not h3 the electro Hummer whatever the fuck it's called now that things like a hundred hundred fifteen thousand depending on how you get it dressed it's sick I'd much

rather have that the Ford Lightning way better. Just a Toyota Tundra. I would rather have I'd rather have the best Tundra than a cyber truck any day, any day. How big is the bed on the cyber truck? Like you can't even put anything in it. It's not, you know, like I don't know. Normal size like a normal F-150 or is it smaller than that?

It's like five or six feet or something. It looks smaller. The way it is smaller smaller than that? It's like five or six feet or something The way it's smaller because of that backward angle thing it does over the trunk. I don't know. Yeah, I don't like the way they look Dude I like the way it looks it looks like what we thought future cars were gonna look like in the 80s movies I did get six foot bed six by four I love the way it looks. I saw one the other day and it was all wrapped up. The rap started black on the bottom and like transitioned to red at the top of the car. Do it. It looked fucking cool.

But I know it's piece of shit. I could see a rap looking pretty cool on that thing. They do look good. You can do a halo rap like the warthog. And those look good. Yeah, I was going to bring that up. Like the most fitting setting. I've seen the cyber truck in so far was with that mini gun or whatever added to it. And Brandon did a video where he made it like wrapped like a warthog and it I don't like that anymore.

I like that. Or more trench tension than a normal Cybertruck? Probably more. That would get less hate is what that would do. So would this. Oh man, that Warthog Rev is sick. Yeah, that looks neat because it's like, oh, it's just a cosplay car of a Warthog. I got to hang on a minute. It looks too good to me.

It looks too good. I don't think it's AI, but I think that like, they really, this is a good photographer. I don't know, man, that looks good. And this is another rap. That's great. Oh, that's terrible. Who would make it look dirty? I like the dirty raps. I've seen rust. Yeah, I was gonna say they rust. So I pictured to be mocking it. It could be Photoshopped too.

Sure. Yeah, it's always possible Yeah, I love how it looks. I love the idea of it. I like that. It's completely out of the box and he was like Look, I'm gonna make a thing. I'm the richest guy in the world and I own a car company So here's a silly thing I can make and people were like, yeah, please make and he's like I will don't dare me He did it and it just happens to be a piece of fucking shit on the on the build level I don't expect it to be a truck. I don't want it to be a truck I wanted to be a hot rod future space mobile and I don't want it to be a piece of shit though I want that thing when I heard it was gonna be stainless steel. I was like, oh, yeah, like the DeLorean

Like somebody's got to get out the buffer and some metal polish and make that bitch a mirror Like like that. That's what I would wanna do at first maybe. Burn your house down. Cause it's parked in the front driveway. I like what the Rivian did is you said you didn't need it to be a truck. Rivian is like, yeah, this is a truck, but it's like a recreational truck.

Do you need something to take your kayak and your mountain bikes to the boat ranch? You know, like, and I'm like, that is me most of the time. I tow a tractor once in a, once a year or something, but for the most part, it's like a paramotor back there or dirt bike. And the Cybertruck could do that. I'm still hoping Honda brings back the element. Yeah. Yeah. Back in like 2008, I'm still driving one, but I want to be one. Why don't you get a Kia Soul? They look similar. Remember that the hamster?

They look similar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're both cubes. I love this cube. Oh, wait, what's it called? The Nissan Cube. That's what it is. Yeah.

Those other those ugly cars. I like the element does. Remember the Toyota FJ Cruiser? When that thing came out, it was like the hottest car in the world. It was like the hottest car in the world. It was like the hottest car in the world. It was like the FJ Cruiser. Do you remember the Toyota FJ Cruiser? When that thing came out, it was like the hot ticket item. They were selling those Toyotas for like five grand over the sticker price.

Everybody was jealous they weren't selling Toyotas. All that summer people would come to wherever you were and be like, well, the FJ Cruiser does this, that and the other. And it's like, yeah, it does. Sure does. Good luck getting one. Oh, we can get one well go get it yeah sucker what are you doing here looking at a just mocking the dealers looks like mr. consumer alert came to shit on Ford escapes for the afternoon and then FJ Cruises I think they're neat but I didn't buy one.

I bet a lot of people could say the same thing. The PT Cruiser? The FJ Cruiser. It's a Toyota thing. Will you show us an FJ Cruiser from 2005? Yeah and if you could crew up an interior also because I thought it was a little out of the box. I liked it. Yeah, yeah it definitely was. Meanwhile Ford had done something called the Ford Freestyle which was like a throwback to station wagons mixed with a mini van. This thing is pretty cool though. This is like the Japanese Jeep Cherokee to me. Yeah, it's yeah. See it that appealed to me is something a little bit different. Something cool. I think you can take a hose to the interior

like by your feet and wash it out if you want to. That's the color everyone wanted. Oh, that thing in the middle. It shows you like like your tilt angle for off-roading which is kind of oh look at that. It's not important but it's like look. It's neat that someone's like important but it's like look it's neat that someone's like yeah this is for sure hardcore shit you need to know here y'all are your pitch that and that is the Ford Freestyle dude I got I sold one of those things and made so much money one time and everybody was in awe

so much money one time and everybody was in awe. This German, it was an English couple, like from England, London, England, they had moved to Atlanta, Georgia for his, for his like work. And they were so like happy go lucky England in English and America for the first time. And I just was like, this is classic American craftsmanship mixed with that, you know, Ford bought Volvo and they've got that the whole S 500 platform suite of vehicles that this one hails from. It goes. This is the Volvo XC 90 platform with Ford laid over the top. You get the best of both worlds.

Is that true? Yeah, it's all true. It's all true. I mean, best of both worlds is a wild claim to make, but it is. Why is our salesman laughing and you're like, oh, I remember the video from yesterday. They took Volvo's CVT transmission, I think the continuously variable transmission. So you're not you're not shifting through five, 10 gears. You're just like a golf cart transmission. And they threw it in those fucking cars. That's what I bought hope for her first car.

Very safe car. Probably like top three safest cars in the world. Dude, paid off. Like first two years, two accidents. One of them wasn't her fault, in fairness. I'm not saying any of them were, but one of them wasn't. So a woman was also driving the other car in that first one? Yeah.

If there's an accident, a woman was involved. Volvo dealership was across the road and it was hard to sell against them when people were buying cars for loved ones, because if they had been to Volvo first, they had just been told the Fords were cheap death machines. Yeah, go ahead and save. Oh, yeah. Pay three twenty a month instead of five fifty. See if your mother makes it. Fuck! So would you be like worried in the morning sometimes?

Like I gotta make some sales and then you'd be like Fuck! Volvo's having an end of January sales event! You're not gonna get any attention. No, we were like, we always had an event. We had an event every month with like balloons and clowns and all sorts of nonsense. Are there legit deals to be had at events or is that just a show for it's a little column a little column B. They they're there

to because they're there to make a big splash and to hit some big numbers. But at the same time there will be lost leaders there like they would always be like an extremely cheap car advertised or they'd be a bunch of them actually from every class of vehicle be like this car is 3000 thousand this car's one thousand. We're giving this one away with a trade in and like there would be lots of shit like that but you would get there and we would have special ordered a Ford Ranger in a way that you would never want one before. It'd be like if I said I got free sandwiches and you show up and it's like catch it all the ketchup and tomato and sauerkraut you want folks just line up right here. It's on garlic rosemary bread, old, crusty, garlic rosemary bread.

Yeah, we got it out of a dumpster. It's impressively bad. We've got some cold, we've got some cold au jus, but it's really a one. Okay. Come on. Who wants a free sandwich? Oh, if it wasn't free, I'd be pissed. That man is eating the whole six foot sub.

I feel sick. I need a car to drive myself home. So you'd get there and there'd be a Ranger that had roll up windows and no air conditioning in 2005 and it had rubber floor mats that you could hose out and just nobody would want it. Oh, without a radio. We'd order that bitch without a radio How do you even do that?

You special order from Ford without a fucking radio the dash has like hasn't been punched out for it looks absurd But so they get there to buy the $4,000 brand new Ford Ranger. They'd be like fuck that. I need a radio I was I was expecting a passenger seat, but there's only three tires. There's only three That's the spanner. That's the spare Well, sir, if you want for full-size tires and a radio We're gonna have to step up to the Ford XLT over here and you take them over to a $22,000 Ford You know, they needed a truck the old bait and switch Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

Yeah. But there's deals to be had there. And I like the party and atmosphere. I like the we'd have like nachos and popcorn machines and shit like that to keep people in there, keep them entertained. Yeah, it's all about the perks. A lot of times you got to keep the kids happy. Yeah, we have a dealership and they got like a little like cartoon

room for the kids to hang out. We had a full playground with slides, ball pit. It looked it was better than a McDonald's play. I think I saw one that had the walls were glass. So you could see your kids like you weren't like, where are my kids? They the walls are glassed in the playpen area. And so you can see from Azure, like signing your life away. You can see that little Tommy and Jenny are in there having a good time,

not being touched by Mustafa, that weird Somali Somali. We can't get rid of him. He sold so many cars. He sold so many cars. But he had that look in his eye like give your daughters to me. I would have. I got a question, Kyle. Well, you should probably do ads, but I'm compelled to ask.

Oh, yeah. Let's say we agreed on a deal over the phone, right? Everything's settled in, you and I were done, it's locked. I wanna go to the dealership and pick up the car. How fast can you make that, right? Like, what can you get done before I get there? Like, I can- If you show up first thing in the morning

so that no one will be ahead of us in finance, you know, at the next step. I can have the car like washed with the tags on it, full tank of gas, like it'll be, that'll be done the day before. Like if you show, and your paperwork will all be done and there will be little stickers pointing to where you sign and like the yellows are for signatures

and the oranges are for initials. And I will hand you a booklet and a pen and you can go through it and less than three minutes And you'll be in finance and for like as as fast as you can imagine I can make it happen that would have been great Because this happened to be a but for Jackie's car. I hired a like a broker to negotiate for me like just a concier That's what they call them car buying concier and I was like give me the best deal You know call the dealership see what you can do.

And we liked the deal, we had it all figured out. And I told him, like, have the dealership ready, have him ready, right? So that, I don't wanna like be some sort of VIP asshole or something, but there's no reason buying a car needs to take an hour and a half. Like just have them do all this stuff before I get there I'll come in whenever you tell me to just be ready and uh, it still took an hour and a half

They claim that things couldn't be done before I got there stuff like that. It was really frustrating No, we there's nothing like that that I can even imagine like if we've done the deal Um, we probably nowadays you just e-sign everything. I don't know why you can't just sign everything and just come in and take delivery. Like, that sounds good. Especially if you're not seeking finance with us. Like if you're not financing through us, then you don't. You shouldn't even be sitting. I don't. Yeah.

And it's like everything else in the world. Once we agree on a price, I can cut your check and walk away. That's how it should go, but not cars or motorcycles. You just, it can be done. I've done it before, just like that. Like, especially if someone had a, it was actually that British couple that sold the Freestyle where they had a credit union.

So they came in with a check cut to an amount, you know? And it's like, this is it. Here you go. Exactly. So, you know, there's no reason for them to jack Ahead of you and the like the line of things to do is the problem and they'll lie to you and say it's not but Like there'll be an order that people are getting the cars detailed and it's like you should have detailed this yesterday If it was sold the car was I think finished like that part of it was done. It was detailed

They I think they blame the DMV and I don't know what else. Oh well The credit check took a while that was partly on me Because my credit people stole my identity so many times because I'm on YouTube that now my credit's so locked down You can't check it and stuff unless I call and like have a temporary lift Yeah, why do they need to run your credit? Anyway, you're right exactly right and stuff unless I call and like have a temporary lift. Yeah. Why do they need to run your credit anyway? You're right. Exactly. Right. I can't sure. What's the problem? How much did you guys pay the detailers?

Oh, they just had a salary. They had a set. They are actually no, I'm sure they got paid by car, but I didn't have any like knowledge of that. Like they were that was you would they were back there smoking weed. It was a bunch of just dudes back there who washed cars and like, I think they got paid per car, but I don't know. That checks out. I worked at a dealership at an enterprise at a dealership at the Boise Auto Mall.

And there was this one detailer who was like, who would just lie about the most absurd things. Like he was a car detailer for like some Mercedes dealership near us or maybe four Chevy said, no, it was either Mercedes or Lexus, something like that. And he would like just claim to be making six figures cleaning cars and would like come up with things like, yeah, I detailed Diddy's car. I detailed, uh, Maya Angelou's car. A lot of cum stains. Yeah, yeah.

My cum stains and Diddy's car. I was always wanting to be polite because he was a nice guy, but it's like, you are at... Harriet Tubman, Yowax, you're a drug. You're cleaning cars at the Boise Auto Mall. You did not clean Kobe Bryant's Land Rover clean. Again, cum. Like, you're making it uncomfortable that like, I can tell you're trying to say this

as if it's true. And I want to be polite. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're pulling down 200 grand washing Kobe's helicopter or whatever. What are you doing here? Big shot. Yeah. With little old. In this same bay I'm standing in right now with wet shoes that we just used a taser we found in a car to shock one of the car preps? In this bay you're making 200 grand? I doubt it. Man, that guy could have got hurt. I was always tempted to steal out of the cars. I don't mean like steal from people. The cars would get traded in and they'd leave stuff in them, you know, and it's like at what point do you become the vulture that starts going through them? Because

like been here two days. I'll tell you the car preps at rental car places immediately, immediately. Well, that's not even oh the stuff that's been left in the car. It's been turned back in. Yeah, that's kind of fair. They figure you're flying to Miami. You're gone. You know, you're you're somewhere. I'll keep it quick, because I've said this before. But like, literally, someone would return a car 15 seconds later after someone's pulled it down to the lot. They're like, I left my iPad Pro on there. Can you run and get it? And I'm like, Oh, no, I got to get in another car and zoot down there quickly before one of the guys. There was this one giant guy. Shoot a red flare.

There was this giant guy with like a fucked up eye and like his face was off balance. And he was just, I don't know. I don't know how many iPads this dude had because you go down there and you'd be like, Hey, are there any iPads down here? And he'd be like, nope. And I'm like, well, yeah, you see that car you're in right now? I know there's an iPad in it, please. Please just give me the manager.

He's holding the iPad, watching Monsters Inc. Get out of here. Yeah, the manager would have to be like, hey, guys, I heard there's an iPad down here. I can't be bothered with this. Just put it on this table. And as soon as it's on the table, we're just moving on with the day. You know, be bothered with this. Just put it on this table. And, you know, as soon as it's on the table, we're just moving on with the day. You know, everything's all good. So it's when you find it, put it right here. But it like that happened. Yeah, on occasion, they would like not steal it.

But it all depended on what shift was happening. If I saw slanty face giant guy, I knew like, I got to be on point with the iPad thing. But then there was like a girl who was really conscientious and nice. And she would always bring stuff back up. like I got to be on point with the iPad thing but then there was like a girl who was really conscientious and nice and she would always bring stuff back up. Got the gun. Yeah, we found guns before. Got the gun back to him. I also really liked the couple and I was like, oh, I got to get your gun back to you, bro.

Like you left your fucking gun. Oh no. Revolver. They had been from New Orleans during Katrina. They were like, they had lost everything but they got a bad insurance check and so they were there to like spend some insurance money on their new car And he left his fucking pistol there and whatever rat box they turned in. I like revolvers not for function I like a semi-auto but like they ignite my imagination

Yeah, a little 38 snub knows, you know, it's gonna work no matter fucking what and yet you can tell it's loaded Just by looking at it because you can see the brass like sticking out of the cylinders. I don't know there's something about That that's not true of a sim of a semi-auto especially if it's one that you keep it keep in a glove box and like, you know dust gets on it and accumulates and like The oil that was in it soaks up that dust and then goes dry and becomes this little bit of glue that keeps the so the first bullet goes off and the thing jams and if you're shooting the gun that you keep in your glove box, it's probably means you're fighting for your life or you're shooting at rats out the window.

Let's hope it's the rats because you don't want to just something about the revolver always working as a gun that you just keep somewhere is just very That makes sense attractive. Yeah, I want it to work Uh before we jump to the next thing we're gonna hear from our wonderful wonderful sponsors This episode is sponsored by blue chew guys, let's talk about sex Shouldn't you always be at your best? 2024 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom. Listen up, BlueChew.com.

BlueChew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost. You can take them any time, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The process is simple.

Sign up at BlueChew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part? It's all done online. So no visit to the doctor's office, no awkward conversation, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. BlueChew's tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package. BlueChew wants to help you have better sex. Discover your options at BlueChew.com. Chew it and do it. Special deal for our listeners, folks. Try BlueChew free, B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W free, when you use promo code P-K-A at checkout. Just pay the $5 in shipping. That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W, BlueChew.com, promo code P-K-A to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And big thanks to bluejuice for sponsoring the podcast.

Check it out. Code PKA. Just pay the five bucks. See what you're missing out on high quality product that delivers. Bluejuice dope. On its guarantees. So check them out. Yeah. Very high quality.

That's a Dallifil as always is our recommendation. Kyle's recommendation that we stole. Steps is also brought to you by lock and load and everything over at guerillamind.com. Go ahead and use code PKA or code Jizz for 10% off anything and everything over at Derek's site there, whether it's protein powder, energy drinks, weight loss supplements, dream supplements. He's probably got a million more products now

that I'm not even familiar with, but anything you need. Pre-workout, the No Stim, that's really good stuff. Black cherries, the best flavor of it. So 10% off guerillamind.com, any product with code pka. And also use code pk10 to get our merch 10% off. That is linked below. Get yourself a sweater or a t-shirt. And I believe in the next week or so, we should be having a whole new crop of stuff dropped, a whole new line dropped. Do you want to spoil some of the images, but do you want to spoil some of the names or like the ideas?

Because I liked Taylor's Crab Shack, I believe there's a shirt designed around that. I think Woody's, no, no, it's Jackie's famous chili. I think we're toying around with a shirt celebrating her famous chili and as like a fake restaurant shirt. And I think we still got to approve the final designs on those because we had some funny ideas right before the show. Yes. Yes. We're going to need to work a little bit more. But I was I was I kind of like how Uncle Kyle's tranny shop was going. I thought I thought that shirt that was pretty good. Look pretty good. Transmission repairs important to us over there. So it is it should be The best. It should be the most important thing.

What can you do without your team's... Oh, you're selling just a blue shirt. That's the stupidest idea ever. But you can get Woody's blue shirt. I like that. Yeah. Unlock your inner anger. Woody went into a hateful rage fueled

diatribe once. You remember what he said about Doc earlier, how mean it was. He went like twice as hard on somebody else while wearing a blue shirt one time. And it was we all like it was a hushed silence. He was like, you're like a NASCAR driver that hits the fucking wall every race. And you think that people show up for your driving talent. Crash and burn, you fat loser piece of shit. No one likes you. You're comfortable to be around. Like it was like one mean thing after another. Like it was piercing. It was really. Failure to launch was worked in there somewhere. I don't remember what preempted that. He was talking shit about you. I don't remember

exactly what happened. Yeah. I want to say he might have said that if he made paramotor videos, they'd get a hundred thousand views each, but I have no personality, something like that. And I hit it back. I do remember something about what he said because I remember specifically you saying keep your name out of my fucking Keep my name out of your fucking mouth you piece of shit What is not usually the one to call someone just like you piece of shit Meanly it was funny. Although I gotta say I would watch a Redemption paramotor video the physics right experiment alone It's gonna make sure he's not in New York It's gonna be one of those flat earth experiments where they prove the earth is round or whatever

Like we'll see today just how much buoyancy we've built up with these new sails Like he's gonna look like a GPU of fans on the back and he's gonna have to have at least like a tri sail Above him or something Oh, yeah, so I took a guy up who's bigger than me tandem, and I don't think we're bigger than wings. Oh The straps are he's gonna need special straps cuz they'll dig he's gonna need to be able to run about 12 miles an hour That's the okay put him in a trike. You got to put him in a try. You're right. You're right It'd be a trike dude. That would be cool. Honestly to see him in a trike like like what is that? Right, so it's it's exactly what it sounds like. It's a they take a sort of a cockpit. That's overstating

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and and put it on tricycle We three wheels and then your paramotor rig and everything is in that you're more popular in Gaza Yes, oh were they using trikes? Yeah. OK. That the trike was the way I was seeing it. I was a customer. You got to try it. I can remember being hunting. And there was a guy who lived somewhere near where the land we hunted, and he'd fly over us and do tricks and stuff about nothing like what you do.

But just seeing a man up there flying with a parachute, like doing like, you know, while waving from side to side like a pendulum was like oh my god and we almost bought one of those we were looking for where to get one dad was like you could just buy a flying contraption and take off like i'm like how can that it is pretty wild you can just do that and then he's like they're like 10 or $12,000. Like it seems like like, how can you buy a $12,000 airplanes like well, it's not exactly an airplane. Take a look. The gliders catch my attention. Sometimes I don't know why it seems even more dangerous to really have to be able to nail

your landing like that every time. But gliders look cool. Did you see that guy? what do you call it when you you've got the wingsuit he was wingsuiting with a carpet I did I did yeah so the carpet was it was it underneath him it looks like him and it was he had like he was fairly strapped into it in some way so that you know it would hang on his ankles and his wrists But it was catching enough wind that he and of course he's in the place where you go to to do that It's it's this long rug actually, but yeah, yeah Yeah, and and he flew it was incredible

It made me wonder like why did somebody do that in ancient times and like like the like the show off? Obviously you crash and die at the end, but for a while everyone we blown away like you crash and die at the end but for a while everyone will be blown away like fucking mustapak lises flying look everyone he's still going for the next 72 seconds you're the coolest guy there'd be a while where we'd be like come on fly back it's theoretically possible i think to land in a wingsuit like because you can gain altitude and burn that energy and it would seem like if you could do it. Like it because you can gain altitude and burn

that energy and it would seem like if you could do it just right, you burn all the energy possible and land it. Oh man. The land and the and the and the wind would have to work with you. But yeah, sure. Yeah. I think it's more likely you hit

something going real fast. Right? I saw a guy parachute with no parachute. You've probably seen that. He landed on a motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. That was like 10,000 feet with no parachute landed in boxes and maybe a net. I forget. I think it was a gigantic net. It might've been in a stadium,

like in a sports stadium. Like, oh yeah, that gigantic net. Cause like, I remember seeing that, but, but like that's like jumping with a parachute is scary. But in my heart, I know that like, and 900 times out of 901 times, I probably live here. Don't worry about it. But doing it without, obviously he's an expert, but Jesus Christ, jumping out with a shoot must have been a weird feeling.

Dude, there's a YouTube series called Freak Out Friday. Have you ever seen it? Probably not. It's just every Friday, they release another parachute malfunction and got probably 80% of the time they don't die but 20% of the time is not good which really keeps you on your toes as you watch the video like you know guy throws his main doesn't work cuts away reserve doesn't work now he's like problem-solving figuring shit out till he

gets to the bottom I like that terminology of the problem solving. It's clearly like a practice term that you use in these classes and stuff. Yeah. Like I've seen them do it. Like they start trying to untie a knot at 4,000 feet, 3,500 feet, 3,300 feet. Cool. This is quite a good one here. Oh, that becomes impossible. We need a parallel knot on the other side. You know, we're going to land a little faster, but we'll get that spin out and work it. You heard the one where the guy just jumps out without the parachute.

And then like 10 seconds later, he goes, oh, yeah. That guy fucking died. Yeah. The guy jumped. He did. He thought he had the shoot on and didn't. Oh, I'm sure he did. It was I did not work out for him. Saw a guy jump with their shoot and then hook up with a guy who had one. It was clearly planned. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty neat. The best is when those guys were all skydiving and their plane collides with

another plane and it's all on GoPro and everybody's just all in the plane, catch on fire, like a Michael Bay movie and they all just bail out with shoots That was crazy like like there's been some all-time great internet videos And I think that's one of them that that's such a crazy thing to happen two planes colliding with Parachutists in them so they can jump out and like get away and you can see the planes burning and tumbling away It's why I'm thinking of all-time great internet videos, you know what I watched last night? Cod 4, Rats Clan versus Dogs of War, that epic comeback. Oh you know it. You don't remember it. I bet you'd remember it if you saw it. Anyway, it's like game battles and they're probably down 199 to like 155 and

they're just getting their ass kicked. They're getting triple capped and stuff like that. And then they turn it around and triple cap for like 45 points in a row and get the way it was. It's a, the original version was much better, but it got copyright claim cause of music, but it's still good. A lot of that stuff had music on it. All those old call of duty montages and stuff. I don't think I've ever seen that.'ll look into it later mmm I tried to watch the that old Swiftage that HQ fighter made back in the day set to Taylor

Swift music the cod4 montage also copyright also copyrights oh it's mediocre gameplay it was 2008 or 2009 or something like that he was like but but at the time I think I was more into the editing than the gameplay because the the gameplay like you go out you play in a really really reckless style and every once in a while you hit a weird bounce 360 and it lands and i'm like so like i know that's a one percent shot and you tried 99 times missing it just makes it not cool to me. I like to see Ninja defuses. I still like that shit.

One of the greatest COD videos of all time is on Crash. They're on top of Three Story and the guy's sniping, not looking. And the guy that we're watching sneaks up behind him, crouches, pulls up Xbox Messenger and sends him a message that says turn around. It got done again and then like text messages him and like takes the time and the guy clearly opens the message slowly turns around and he kills him. Um,

somebody did that in modern warfare too as well. It's on the top of the crash maybe with the helicopter on the top of the triple story. Well that was kind of poor, but somebody did in modern warfare too as well on that that big snowy train map that I've lost To time whose names I've lost a time. I'm not gonna play any more cod ever I'm sure crash wasn't modern warfare 2 also It was probably But it was derail that it was done. You're absolutely right Zack. But yeah, I have it. I'm not I don't think I'm going to get this new cod. I know it's got zombies,

but Taylor said he was going to play zombies with me. So I probably won't even get it. I don't like what zombies become. Now, of course, I don't know what the next one will be, but the whole like whatever hour and 20 minutes of Easter egg, like following, first you have to go here, then you have to train the witches. Then you have to get, then you have to train the witches, then you have to get, then you have to pull the switch and then you gotta do that.

And that's how you get the power on. And I'm just like, no, thank you. I just want to kite zombies. And I don't mind. Just let me use the mystery box and let me use the pack a punch. All the rest of it is like, when you have to go, what was that one with the robot giant

that before you could pack a punch, you had to go, or if you wanted to pack a punch, the staff specifically, you had to like in a certain order, like shoot the right torch in a cave and then go like stand in a foothold and look at something like just stuff that you would never figure out if there wasn't like an internal leak and it's not intuitive and it's not fun. It's not like you're figuring out a mystery. Have you ever seen this? Oh, I followed the clues and it sent me here. It's like, no, just random.

All right. So I can't remember the YouTuber's name or Twitch streamer's name, whatever, but that's what he does. Like on opening night, when the game first comes out, they're just trying weird shit, trying to figure out the puzzles. And you watch them for hours.

They'll have, you can't do crawlers anymore. So they'll have the last solo zombie and one of the four of them just trains the zombie while the other three are like, did you, did you wiggle the book? Yeah. Wiggle the book. The shadow come back. No, the shattered. It come back this time. All right, let's restart. And they're just, you know, it's a big, I watched them for hours like wiggling and toggling and like standing in a certain place. There was a map where you had to like, there was like

a, it was another one of those situations where you had to get out like a giant crazy thing, like a monster and get it to chase you and crash through a wall to open the next section of the puzzle. And so they don't know where the wall is. So they just got it chasing them everywhere, crashing into everything. I kind of like that. That was the big retard in the Western one, where you had to like train the retard. But a newer map, you know,

they make another one of those things every fucking year or two. I'm so grateful that Elden Ring is delayed. So in Elden Ring to advance like the NPCs questline. They'll be like, hey, talk to this NPC, exhaust all their dialogue, quit the game, come back, talk again twice, quit the game, come back, talk the third time. Now you're set. And I'm like, if I wasn't following a guide, I would never know that I had to do that two times. Wow.

But that's how it's played. I haven't watched a lot of guides for Elden Ring, so I just kind of stumble around. So I don't know what, you do miss a lot of stuff if you're not watching those guides and stuff. Woody, Woody does, can I tell him? Woody has taken it to another level. He has gone full autist on Elden Ring.

He sits there and has his wife as like You ever see the off-road racing where the guy's like Break break break break break break high topper full gas full gas go go go. All right, we're coming in Yeah, like she's that for Elden Ring and they have charts they have charts and and like step by step, like do this, do that. And monitors open on the side, probably other machines running just to guide them through the world. Yeah, I like to imagine that she's been... That's the chair she sits in when she does it. Yeah, I like to imagine that for like weeks now.

She's been like, so is, you know, I'd love to play. And you're like, yeah, definitely. At some point point for sure. Like it's. Your turn is coming, buddy. It's right around the corner. You know Jackie, the thing is you really need a powerful PC to run this demanding of a game.

She has nothing to do with it. You know what Jackie, I don't think it's gonna run on your laptop. Oh. She likes her role. It's exactly where she wants to be. She likes hanging out with me for some reason. And she likes reading the thing. I'm like, I'll ask her to navigate the map.

Right. You just move this stick around to navigate. And she's like, she wants nothing to do with it. Nice. That's a good place to be for you. Where you're like, I guess I'll keep playing this game I'm addicted to. She doesn't even want to play you guys. She would hate it. It'd be the worst.

She would. It's a hard, like if you're not a gamer, starting at Elden Ring is a tough start. Yeah. Yeah. I only, I just realized for me personally, the juice was not worth the squeeze when I started and played for like two hours and was like, wait, so this whole game is me learning over time how long this night is going to pause before he beheads me and what direction he's likely to run after that. It's like, all right, this isn't my jam. I'm sure this is fun.

If that's your jam, this is not what I'm interested in. Roll, man. You got to be rolling. You just panic roll constantly. ABR always. As the ball screen's loading, Jackie's like, you're gonna need a lightning resistance talisman. You're gonna, you're gonna. Oh, no. He has a move where he stabs his knife into the ground, pulls it up, there's an area of effect damage. Be prepared for that one.

Yes, we remember this. Okay, but there is shit that like, if I didn't watch the guide, there's that one guy in the castle who you like meet him and he's like, yeah, you know, hey, have fun in the castle or whatever. And then you find out later, like every time you talk to him, he just steals half your gold without telling you.

So if you look at your inventory, you're like, wait, where the fuck did all my gold go? The random guy is like, yeah, yeah. This guy's just watching you. There's that one bitch in the round table hold who's like, do you want a hug? And you're like, I would like a hug. Yes.

A hug that gives you a debuff that you don't know about. And like, so your character's just weaker until you lose 10% of your health. And there's a little icon on your health bar, but there's like nine icons under the bar. Yeah. None of those icons mean anything to you. Don't talk to this like the game's like, you're learning some stuff. Don't hug nobody. Don't talk to this guy. The game is full of traps. You're learning some stuff. Don't trust people.

Has there been any like Woody, any like I told you so moments where she's like, this guy's going to drop a fireball on your head right away. And you're like, okay, you start killed by the fireball. And she's like, I told you about the fireball. Dude, so many. So I think the key to beating the other the point. Yeah the NPC or whatever is Observing his moves and knowing how to dodge it and doing that repeatedly She thinks it's some other weapon the correct combination of talismans, etc. But we're both a little bit, right and She's just like I don't know why you're you're playing this game on hard mode. This rune arc, they're like these rare things

that give your character plus five in every category. I was 176 hours into this game, hoarding them like a dragon in gold. I had 49 rune arcs and I never called one. In case it got hard. It's like. It's like. It's like.

It's like. Oh, We've all done that. You finished my room with 30,000 potions. I guess I guess I gave myself a lot of. Never use my rune arc and then you don't beat the boss. You're like, fuck, I wasted a rune arc. Yeah, down to 48. No, only have 48 of those. Yeah. It is like it is when when you plan that game,

you got to figure out, you're like, all right, how much do I want to cheese this? Cause you can summon other players. You can use the little ghost. Use the ghost. I use the ghost. I'm into human, but I use the ghost sometimes. Yeah. But do you use your, the like spirit guys you can summon with your bell or whatever the hell they're in mixed bag. I've used them and I've avoided them. So people don't know, play the game when you can summon with your bell or whatever the hell. They're a mixed bag. I've used them and I've avoided them. So people don't know play the game when you can call in like another AI to help you, but it gives the enemy more health. So you have to decide if that guy's helping you or hurting you.

I just saw a bunch of regenerating skeleton idiots. And then the guy goes and fights my skeletons and doesn't pay attention to me poking him in the butt. I'm like, this is pretty good. This is awful. I've done that. Are you still holding ring grind veto or are you checked out? I'm taking a break from it. I should come back to it and finish it. But I'm like 90 hours in and you're like, oh, my God, this is never going to end.

Jesus Christ. What do you do? Anything? I've been playing that new Final Fantasy seven that came out in the early half of the year, and that also well, I don't know. I like it, but it's turned into Assassin's Creed or Horizon Zero Dawn. You're like, this isn't really Final Fantasy. This feels like you guys just wanted to make a Western open world game. Never played Final Fantasy.

That's turn based combat, right? Well, the originals were and this one's like actual active combat rolling around and switching between like it's fun, but I think I genuinely just like the old school RPGs of like walking around finding stuff. Woo Kong. Yeah. Yeah. That's more of the real time combat maybe, but I'm told it's a little easier than Elden Ring. Yeah. Yeah. People say, I've been playing a lot of magic cards on the internet. Like a lot of arena. I'll be playing a lot of arena.

Arena is fun. Have you two played each other, Taylor and Vito? I have not played you. I'll have to get your user after this. And I have not been playing magic much. They started, they started doing real prize tournaments on that magic arena. So you can win full boxes of cards if you if you win. Are you good at Magic? Like I'm like I'm not going to go win any tournaments. But like

I'm competent at it. Like I know all the rules. I know strategies like if I it depends on what block you're jumping back into. So like when I logged into my account, because my buddy got into it a few weeks ago, and he's like, Oh, let's play some games like and I in my deck oh, let's play some games. In my deck lineup, I have decks that I specifically made, common only, popper style decks that I use to play against new people. So it's a little more fun for them. So they're not getting rolled with combos. But if I were to jump into like standard, which is the most recent three sets, I'd get rolled probably for the first while because there's new mechanics every time. And so I would have to learn the new

meta, the new mechanics. And so what I do, I just play historic, which is not one little window of cards. It's, you can use any card that's ever been released on arena. So that way, if I jump into it again now, even though I haven't played in like two years regularly, cause I've been doing AOE, I just can log in, use those same things. So Vito, based on what Taylor said, where do you think he's at? I'd destroy him. He's a fucking noob. What are we talking about? I went to Gen Con 2006. He won the biggest baby. I was a gentron in 2006 for the Lord of the Rings Trading Card Game World Championship

and after that ended, a kind black man in the magic department taught me how to play with the set cold snap. Hey Doc! That's about when I started playing class viral. 2006. Okay, yeah, then we started about the same. I'll go really into magic and then fall out of it entirely and then get really like Age of Empires 2 has dominated my gaming for the past two years.

And now that Age of Mythology is out, that remake, which is like a really impressive remake so far, like I didn't think they were going to do as much new stuff. Like everything's overhauled, everything's new, all the quality of life stuff. It looks good. So I'm going to be in it's like, Kyle saw it. Like it looks like a pretty fun game. The problem with magic. Oh, you said it looked fun just last night. You said it began. I agree with that.

I agree with that. The problem with the recent magic sets. You were about to say earlier and then you got cut off. And I'm like, fuck, that might've been my one chance for him to be nice about this game. No, it does look better. It's nice to see an old game updated because we played it like 10, 12 years, maybe not that long ago. It feels like 10 years ago and it looked like shit, but we had, we had like rose

colored glasses looking back on what it looked like, but it looks, yeah, it looks pretty good. It's updated for sure. When did the new one come out? Did that just come out? Just pre-order it. You can play it now, but it releases for everyone on Tuesday. So I've, cause I'm hearing a lot of people talking about age.

Empires, all of a sudden age of empires. Like I'm intentionally not looking up build orders or strategies or anything like that for age mythology yet, because like once that like magic fades and you like know the metas and the correct way to play like you're just angling to try and perfect it like but this game is so much less competitive and time intensive and getting good at than Age of Empires 2 like you can just like goof around on Age of Mythology like they have unit auto queue which means like in Age of Empires like a huge part of it is building your economy which means constantly queuing villagers all

the time. And you can't just queue 1000 of them in the beginning, you don't have enough food. So it's just a constant every 15 seconds to 20 seconds, literally, I hit mouse button to queue, like just whatever's going on, like always have to do that consistently intermixed. You have a macro. Do I what?

You have a macro like every 1520 set that make it 17 and a half seconds. What is that? That would be cheating. And I also don't know how to do that. But yeah, that would be, that would be frowned upon and cheating. If I got caught, they'd ban me from the ranked ladder for that. But yeah, and that'd be a big deal because that's where I'm, that's where I'm playing most of the time.

That's your age. Yeah. My whole self-esteem. You can just rank. That's your whole self esteem. Yeah. My whole self esteem. The rank Q of A's man of a 1997 video game. I got a name over there. All right. You know what? I'm not even. So I'm a nobody, but like, you can just right click the production line and it'll just auto queue whatever you right click.

So you don't have to micro and like be managing it that specifically and it's more silly. So like, there's some stuff you just can't come back from. Like if I go into Kyle's base and I drop a God power, like a meteor shower, like there's no way for him to strategize out of those meteors destroying him. Like he'll just have to watch him be like, ah, fuck, I should have dropped a lightning storm on him before he meteor me. Well, that's, that's no good. I should have made a Titan. Like it's more goofy, less intense, less

strategic, way less balanced, but I like it so far. It looks cool. So AOM, if you're looking for an RTS out there and you don't want something as time intensive as AOE to get into or Starcraft, then this is a good option. New topic? Yes. Which sport do you think has the most unhealthy athletes? Oh, boxing. Okay. I was gonna try and be cheesy. Define unhealthy.

You can define it. I was gonna go with bodybuilding. A lot of them die early or just, you know, once they hit like 44, they're 100 years old not a sport to you okay no and and like it's steroids are like accepted in that like even if they are outlawed in some divisions or whatever there's the testing is an absolute joke like it's it really is so i don't think that's a real sport to me bodybuildingbuilding. Like, come on. I like the, the Patrice O'Neill school of thought about what is and isn't a sport where he like to him, golf is not a sport.

Like someone has to use their skill to prevent you from using your skill to put it in his word. So like basketball is a sport, hockey is a sport, football is a sport. MMA is a sport. Golf is an activity. Not golf, not running, not swimming. It's a competition. Yeah, unless you can actively use your skill to prevent them from using theirs, it's not a sport. You should be able to try to shoot their golf ball out of the sky. Like everybody gets a gun as well.

That would be a sport. If you could charge down Tiger with down nine iron and hit him in the That's a sport Snipers sumo is my guess. Well, I don't know if there's an answer but sumo was Young nah, those guys aren't even that big in real life. They're like to fit about the average average sumo weight 255 Don't that would surprise me. They look make it 260 and I bet I average sumo weight 255. That would surprise me. They look make it 260 and I bet I'm nailed it. Zach, what's the average weight of a big outliers?

But yeah, they some of them are a lot smaller than you'd expect. There's one like really small guy who's like kicking ass and he's not even like Japanese. I don't think it's I don't think that only gives him his own piece. 200 kilograms 440 pounds are over. What? In Sumo, you have to weigh 440. I probably in the top league. Oh, I that's staggering.

I had 440 pound Japanese man is just a just a butterball. A lot of these guys are more like a rice ball. Bies are incredibly strong. I eat butter over that. ball a lot of these guys right more like a rice ball They can't process that dairy Lactose intolerant you fool. I guess the football players are really healthy I'm thinking like there's a lot of steroids and it's a game. We pretty much smash heads together. Mm-hmm, but It's the new height. Oh, yes. Those guys look really healthy. Now pro wrestlers, I feel like that's super unhealthy and those guys are broken down. And that, I kind of do think is more of a sport. More than bodybuilding.

That's not a sport. That's a dramatic performance. That's like going to a musical and going, yeah, look at those athletes out there singing their hearts out. They're definitely athletic. That's part of it though though they're doing gymnastics and and the choreographed routines it's not all that dissimilar when you go to circ day soleil do you go look at that sport well no it's a hollywood stuff man playing a sport well that's acting in that's it's very it's acting that's your athletic performance about professional wrestling that's an athletic performance. That's an athletic performance.

How can you say wrestling is a sport and bodybuilding isn't? Come on. Neither of them are sports. Real wrestling is a sport, but WWE is not a sport. Men of America are going to have my ass for this one. If Goldberg was actually trying to keep Andre the Giant from achieving victory, whatever, then it would be a sport. But they're doing play wrestling. So it's like it's acting. It's activity. Nothing's not happening. Goldberg would be shocked that Andre had come back from the dead and become some sort of enormous golem. Okay, well Hulk Hogan then fighting Andre the Giant. They did fight. There we go. Boom. That definitely happened happened the Hulkster slammed Andre picked him up over his head

But I would do that. I don't think that I'd be like no way Parts of Andre were over Andre jump Picture of Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the giant I was acting like the Hulkster wasn't fucking E. This is going to be like Creed's cartwheel. Just not even. It is like Creed's cartwheel, but it counts. I haven't seen this for a long time.

I wonder what it looks like. It looks fucking cool. He's wearing the old school yellow and red. If I remember correctly, His skin is extra bronzed Getting of it he's just beginning to lift he gets him up. Oh, yeah. Look at that. That's what I'm talking about To you see him lifting him over his head in that picture if you can you see Hulk said yes In that picture on the right you can see Hulk's head. What do you think is behind his back? In the long blonde hair? I don't see a head.

Insane. It's clear. Over there? Yeah and look at Andre's feet and ass they're above it. He lifted Andre over his head. Okay. That is not over the head he's at chest height. Pieces of Andre were over Hulk's head. So if Andre stands on his hands, he's over Hulk's head because his foot's over the head? If he stands on his head, now Hulk's holding him above his head, then yes. Hulk had him in the air. I haven't watched that clip because I didn't watch the rest. Terry Crews is a great American man. I don't want to see anyone saying anything bad about this character. Don't deflect. He's a great American. It doesn't want to see anyone saying anything bad about this character. Don't deflect. He's a great American. Doesn't matter who the great American. He's a family

man. He's a family man. Okay. Was it was it Hogan knows best? What was his show called? I think it might've been Hogan. I think it was. You're right, dude. They look like the Nazi dream of the future. They're all, they're all bleach blonde, like hot muscled up people. And then it all fell apart. Like she, she let the wife leaves him. The daughter is what didn't the kid kill somebody in the car, killed somebody in a car crash. Yeah.

That was the daughter started dating a black guy and hulks her gets caught on the phone being like, she's going to, she's going to date a ninja, find a rapper or a basketball player or something. That kid ain't got nothing going for him. It is weird that the Hulk racism kind of stuff kind of went away. There's like, they took them out of one of the WWE games right when that hit. They're like, Oh, we can't have Hulk grow up. But now everyone's like, ah, what are you going to do? You want to play as the Hulkster? Yeah. it's because he hates poor people, not black people clearly

If that would have been a rich rapper, he would have been cool with it. The crazy thing is that Hulk's huge Comeback was having sex with Bubba the love sponge's wife and getting a hundred million dollars from a gawker And without that he'd be basically destitute, but he got all that money. Didn't somebody fund that suit? Was it Peter Thiel? Palantir. What is Palantir? Is that his company? It's basically Skynet. If you want to invest in Skynet, you should do so. I don't know what that is.

You've never seen the Terminator you cocksucking goddammit man. I've put together most of it from Kyle's. I feel like Taylor not seeing the Terminator is a formal child of his. Not only has he not seen- And I blame his parents. Here's the best part. He's never seen Terminator 2,

so the beginning would be a twist. The beginning would be a twist. People who like enjoy movies and specifically movies like this one can only dream of that It's like watching lord of the rings the first time and thinking gandalf is dead It's like that level of like my first experience can never be matched again. Why have you not seen the terminator? You know Life comes at you, you know

And you launch little meteors of people all fucking day. Why don't you take two hours off from that and watch Terminator? Yeah, well, that's two hours. I can't be larger meteors of people and do it. Do it like every other millennial and have the laptop on your lap and kind of pay attention to them. Don't do that. Well, if I'm going to if I'm going to no fate, but what we make, you better watch that thing. I teased Kyle because I did start Terminator one like like a year ago. And because I caught myself not paying attention to it. And I was like, also on my phone, I was like, no, no, I'm not going to do this

because I played it forward in my head. I'm like, I'm going to say I watch Terminator. Kyle's going to ask me a pretty basic follow up question. I'm not going to know because I won't have been paying attention. And then he'll say I'm lying about having watched it at all. Yep. And that's a track tracks. It's not like, you no, if I'm going to watch it, I need to be like hands on the lap folded, locked in. And I just have to. Bro, you got to complete the James Cameron filmology. They're all good. They're all good. He's never made a bad movie. You can go back to

Piranha too. It's a good fucking movie. All right. Who's the Avatar guy? That's James Cameron. That's James Cameron. James Cameron, the greatest filmmaker of all time. Do you know his avatars one and three in terms of sales? Gross all time. Dude, is that some sort of- Of course we don't adjust for inflation,

so that's horse shit. Is there a scheme going on? Is there something behind the scenes? Are they laundering money with the Avatar? The scheme is that the man is a treasure to the filmmaking community and you haven't seen Terminator. We all watched it! We all watched it except for you!

You are not allowed to come up with sneaky theories if you haven't even seen The Man. No, no. Every single movie I start having that theory because I don't see it. Taylor's always going on about how the Deep State is modifying Rotten Tomato rankings or something like that. Dude, the Deep State is buying fake tickets and using the numbers for these releases. Yeah, no, I need to go see a movie in theaters. You ever see True Lies? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Jamie Lee Curtis?

No. Jamie Lee Curtis does a strip tease. Her body is rocking in that movie. I know who she is. That's another one of James Cameron's. Yeah, it's fucking smoking hot. Taylor sees the Deep State in Rotten Tomatoes. I see body doubles in every sexy girl. That's another one of James Cameron's. Yeah, it's fucking smoking hot. Taylor sees the Deep State in Rotten Tomatoes.

I see body doubles in every sexy girl. I'm like, what are the odds that that Hollywood actress is actually hot? Eh, I don't buy it. We know your girl, that girl from Euphoria that you've been watching that plays the teenager that has sex, Zendaya or is it Zendaya? Zendaya.

I don't know. Yeah. Her body's real because she doesn't wear anything in public. Like every time I see her at her fashion show, she's wearing like a dress made out of four pieces of aluminum foil from a leftover dinner or some shit. Like she's- She's auditioning to become Kanye's girlfriend. I thought she was dating Spider-Man or that stuff. She doesn't have the parts to be Kanye's girlfriend.

Yeah, he has a type and it's type. Yeah, it's bodacious. Italian lady, apparently. His type is bodacious. A girl can dream. Kanye will hook you up to the blood machine to make sure there's no Jew in you though. That's his one thing. Yeah, but maybe, did he go so far that he was saying that he was the real Jew? Were the real Jews like a black Israelite style?

Or was he just straight up like, I don't know, these Jews, not for me, don't like them? It's kind of hard to when a guy goes like, you know, I just like Hitler. You're like, well, there's a lot of ways to interpret that. And I don't know. I don't know where you got. Oh, yeah. What's clearly what he means to say is I mean that I like Hitler and everything he did. It means I wish I could go back and make and let Hitler live longer so he could

kill more Jews like he's out. Jones is what he could convert them into rainbows is what I'm saying. And the rainbows would come back to life. You're like, I don't know if this is anti-Semitic or not. It's going to have your cameraman zoom in on the anti-Semitic memes on my phone. No, no, no, please don't zoom, Terry. What are you doing? You weren't, who you weren't for. The absolute best Kanye clip.

Our position is precarious enough, Terry. That'd be so funny to see Alex Jones as the one freaking out. The best clip when he was in the middle of all of it was when he goes, and then the doctor gave me a bunch of drugs that fucked up my head. And I'm not going to say what kind of doctor it was. It was a Jewish doctor. The timing is like. Oh, the timing.

He took like the two beats of time. Yeah, the two beats are like such good comic timing that you're like, is this the end of all time? And the sideways head, it's like if that were a scene in like the office, he'd be like, perfect, first take, we got it. Like, it was a Jewish doctor. Nailed it. It's like if that were a scene in the office, it'd be like perfect, first take, we got it. It was a Jewish doctor. It was a Jewish doctor. Head bopping, that was so fun. Have you ever seen, so Kanye accuses Quentin Tarantino

of stealing his idea to make Django Unchained, and they ask Quentin about that, and he's like, Kanye wanted to make a black cowboy movie, okay? He wanted to be a black cowboy, okay? That's not what we, and I'm like, that's kind of what it is though, right? Well, yeah. Oh, he did still, as I did a little bit,

or maybe they had parallel thinking. It's not that unique an idea. Yeah, yeah, I feel like that idea is a little generic. Okay, I gotta make a white cowboy movie. The next guy that pulls that off, they need to know that came from me. You know, he wanted Will Smith for that shit and will said no Yeah, he's like he didn't want to play a slave or they thought was a bad look or something and he's clearly you

So will clearly tried to copy that Tom Cruise method for picking scripts Okay, you look for the things that were that were blowing up and it's like CGI sci-fi and and like action and it was a love story attached it was something like There you go exactly and the big spider from that I can't remember the big Where did the big spider tells it? Smith tells it yep They were they were talking about there was this idea for a Superman movie going around at Warner Brothers

and they were calling Kevin Smith and to like read the script and tell him what he thought give him notes on it because He's such a big Superman nerd that apparently he's like Authority on it as well as a writer who they respected in such to some degree and they had all these crazy ideas I think Nick Cage was gonna be Superman. I think Tim Burton might have been directing it were attached at one point I've seen shows the picture of Nick Cage in the Superman suit because it's not bad. And they did a callback to it recently in the Flash movie. The Flash movie went to like, like there was a moment where you see all the multiverses and all and like Nicholas Cage Superman Superman fighting a giant spider fighting a giant spider. It was that guy. That's true? That wasn't a joke? No. No, that happened in the Flash movie.

You see Nick Cage fighting a giant spider. He looks like this. As Superman, looking like this. This Nick Cage is CGI in the movie. Yes. Honestly? And the guy who was producing all this stuff was that guy who was Barbra Streisand's hairdresser

and then just fell into producing because of it. And he was nuts in the head. So he goes to Kevin Smith and he's like, in these stuff, a giant spider in the movie. He's like, Smith and he's like in these stuff a giant spider in the movie He's like why does Brainiac have to have a giant spider? He's like I just I see it in my head clearly and then they didn't make the superman movie But then he produced Wild Wild West one of that movie have It was still in his head

The most dangerous animal in the animal most dangerous animal in the animal kingdom. The camera man's like, I'm pretty sure that's not true, man. Is that Selma Hayek in that movie that shows her ass with the button down? Wild West, I think so. Yeah, yeah. There's a scene where she turns, she's, I don't know, she got wet or something and so she's wearing his pajamas and their old prospector pajamas with the ass that buttons down and she turns around and leaving her whole big ass is, that's the only good part of that movie yeah that's the only good part

there's a part will he saw wild wild west i remember like everyone being hyped for it and i just never saw it i was a kid so i didn't mind because it was after men in black so like will smith was at the height it was like oh my god soundtrack again willie style yeah yeah he's we're going to the wild wild west. He's got a whole like rap song about his character being cool that plays at the beginning and end of Wild Wild West. At the beginning of the movie, he's fucking a black prostitute in the town's water supply. He's like up in one of those tanks, those tanks of water.

That's like all of our water. and they're like chilling in there like Postcoital like chilling soaking in the town's water supply That's a shit. I never thought of it like that somehow. Yeah, fuck will smith. Yeah, that's how he thinks about people Below him and whatever it takes for will smith to get off not even just a little people. People as big as Chris Rock. He bullies. Giants in the industry. Dude, that's another one of those movies like the Donald Trump thing and like, I don't know, 9-11 or like the Challenger explosion where it's like, oh no, what's happening right now? What? Is this real? Is it real? What? No, it's AI. AI was kind of a thing already and it was like I can't be real It's got to be a skit. It's like no Will Smith just assaulted the host of the Oscars Well, nobody's gonna say shit

In fact, they're gonna present him with like a lifetime achievement type award here in about 37 minutes So he no, he wanted didn't he win an Oscar for a movie like he won for something He won something and it was a big moment and nobody and they treated it like like like oh, yeah Give him his flowers, but in reality it's like There's an assault victim in the back trying to figure out his closing state like no kind of his career I mean, we don't know where the future home Mobile game came out just a few months ago incorrect future home. That's not true. His mobile game came out just a few months ago. I stand corrected.

Okay, but I was like, it was him as like a, like, say, wait, I want to ask this to you guys who were better socially than me. Let's say Will Smith took great offense to this Chris Rock joke about his wife's alopecia. What would have been his ideal course of action? Apparently, slapping is unpopular. He would need, he would need a better one-liner as soon as he got up there. What would have been his ideal course of action? Apparently slapping is unpopular. Could he have- He would need a better one-liner as soon as he got up there.

That's the actual response. He would have to out funny Chris Rock, but because I don't think that's possible for Will Smith. No, he already did. That joke sucked. He didn't have to do anything. No, he didn't. What's a G.I. Jane reference?

When did that movie come out? Like 97? 94 maybe? 97. G.I? 97 is from 1997. Actually there's really no way for him to do it well because I was thinking like, because yeah, the GI Jane joke wasn't very funny. So Will Smith, if he came up with one-liner or something that could beat that, but then you're just opening up Chris Rock. Now Chris Rock can just riff on you and he's going to win. Yeah right. It's like,, oh, just out, out duel Chris Rock in a war.

Or laugh. It's a, it's just a riffy joke. Yeah, laughing is- You just got to shrug. It was a couple of years ago when Ricky Gervais was there fucking ripping people new assholes. Like, you can't think an alopecia joke. Like, did he rip individuals new assholes?

I remember him collectively sort of talking about Hollywood in a negative way. I don't remember Yeah, I remember he was like all of you applaud for Roman Polanski I don't want to hear your nonsense on morality and they'll give some a hard time. I remember that okay No, I just I'm like the one guy who's like dude He ripped on his wife's medical condition of losing her hair, which must be emotionally brutal for her and Like he can't beat She's a

Pagillionaire a bald woman does not lose her black woman has to wear a wig. I've never heard of that I don't think she had eyebrows dude For anyone to lose the hair is rough for a woman to lose their hair in Hollywood must be brutal. She's best case scenario for losing your hair though. Let's admit that. She is a beautiful black woman in Hollywood. The perfect person to go fucking bald. She looks good bald. Yeah, she does look good. And you can also go, you know what, I'm just gonna laugh it off.

It's the night of the Oscars. Not every comedian is gonna to land a riff or whatever. He probably wrote this the night before. The crazy thing was, you know how she has, she has that podcast, the Red Room. I think she finally stopped doing it. But right after the Oscars came out, they couldn't like figure out the best way to spin it. So she did a special where she brought on the mom of a kid who killed themselves because people made fun of the kid for being bald and I'm like I don't think this is the PR strategy to go. Well, I might have killed myself for being bullied So, you know, it's good. My husband went and assaulted Chris Rock I think the way to handle it afterwards is to make a bad boys movie where Chris Rock is the villain

That was the only way to handle it. I think rock was like a drug dealer and he's like Like I would watch the hell out of him Will Smith should have immediately came out and threatened cat Williams and Kevin Hart any black comedians under five foot four you did Talk about my wife You think will Smith? Yeah, yeah Cat Williams lose a fight to a 13 year old. I was gonna say the...

He tried to sucker punch the kid. Did he? Yeah, the kid's like in his face a little and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he clearly thought it was gonna be one of those sucker punches from the internet that like, oh, you knocked the fuck out and like it was gonna get but instead this 13 year old who was a heavy set guy just goes I'm a whoop your ass cat Williams and he proceeds to like have a very awkward Wrestling match with cat Williams on the ground while cat like this kind of riffs He's like this what y'all that happened to y'all eldest this one Let's this is what y'all that happen to a black celebrities in your community He's saying stuff like that. You guys don't watch your celebrities, right? As he's getting manhandled by a child.

Yeah, he's like getting beat up so bad. His little Velcro Oshkosh Begosh shoes are knocked off. Dude, can you imagine how much of a 10 years old? Maybe Chris Rock is more professional and probably was just shocked if he would have went up there and slapped Cat Williams. We would have went up there and slapped cat Williams,

we would have gotten like a tight five of the meanest, most ruthless anti Will Smith stuff on earth. That would have been hysteric because cat Williams is a very, very funny guy. He's quick. So he, that would have been great. It's a damn shame. They should like when host is funny. They should have had Chris Rock host the next Oscars, man. They should have is funny. They should have rock host the next Oscars, man. They should have made it. That would have been sweet. Hollywood never has enough fun.

You got to be like, I think it's rock host the whole thing. Yeah, I got it. I don't know. But he sort of told his side pretty well. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen it, but he's good. It ends with the Will Smith stuff. Here's the problem, though, is like no matter how much what do you call Will Smith screwed up,

like that guy's got his fingers in so many little brands now. Everyone in Hollywood's got a piece of him, but they can't let him fail. It's like, you know, he owns like he's selling water. His wife's selling cosmetics. It's like every everybody in Hollywood's got a little piece of that guy. So he's done, though, like, what's he going to do? Like, I'll tell you this. I thought he got a new movie coming though. Like, what's he going to do? Like, I'll tell you this. I thought he got a new movie coming out.

No, what's it called? The last movie I saw of him was when he was like an assassin. I always came out. Bad Boys is like his fallback to like the good old days, like old trusty. But I I'm sure that did OK because it is what I just said. But I can't see him having like a new sci-fi tent pole blockbuster type. The last thing I saw him in, he was like fighting his clone, like a younger version of him, and so they just CGI'd a 20 year old Will Smith for him to fight.

He was like better and faster, but less experienced. Like I can't see where this is headed. Next year, Karate Kid. Wait, no, they already did Karate Kid with his son, remember? Yeah. I'm telling you, it's coming out in 2025. They're doing another Karate Kid with Will Smith. With Jaden? Is Jaden in it, too?

Is Jaden in it? Well, stand by, I'll look. Jaden was the, so you may not know. They did a Karate Kid with Jackie Chan. Exactly. Jaden has to go to China, and all the yellow kids are whooping his ass because, you know, he's Jaden Smith. Yeah.

Because they hate his Sister's music. And everybody was like wait Jackie Chan doesn't do karate who does kung fu. Why is this called karate kid? It was a weird thing and then now that I look into it, Japanese, Chinese, they mixed them up. Same thing. Bill Smith and Jada are producers. They're not starring in it. They probably got a piece of it when they did the last one. But is Jaden going to be the karate kid again? No I don't see Jaden starring in it. Jackie Chan. They're not letting Jaden be in movies anymore. Jackie Chan, Ralph Macchio and Ben Wang at the top of it. Oh, okay. Ralph Macchio is the original guy. He's It's probably gonna be uh

Because they got that tv series Cobra Kai. It's probably gonna be a capstone to that show that yeah Oh, that's just an example of what you're saying where they're tied into so many things and fingers and pies I got that TV series, Cobra Kai. It's probably going to be a capstone of that show that, yeah. That's just an example of what you're saying, where they're tied into so many things and fingers and pies. Yeah, he owns part. He probably owns the karate kid part of the franchise. He probably probably bought part of the rights so he could get his kid to be. So he did three movies I can think of with Jaden. He did the after happiness.

Well, he did Pursuit of Happiness, and that's when Jaden is like tiny. So he doesn't matter that he can't act. He doesn't can't act. But After Earth, which was supposedly directed by M. Night Shyamalan, is maybe one of the worst movies that's trying to be good of all time. Like it's, I think it's as bad as Battlefield Earth. I think it's that bad. I think Will Smith's trying to do this accent that's like an amalgamation of lots of earth accents for whatever reason. And he can't even keep it up, even though it's inconsistent. It's inconsistently inconsistent.

It's awful. And then the kid is the star of the movie. Like Will Smith gets crippled at the beginning and the kid has to go on this whole journey by himself. So Jayden's acting talent has to carry the whole movie. It's him and CGI for 90 fucking minutes. And it's bad. It's so bad. And 90 fucking minutes and it's bad It's so and the first is retarded of that movie it's in a future where we we abandoned earth and we went to we colonized a new planet and

That planet was the holy site of like a different alien race that lives kind of far from it So they're attacking us with these with these monsters that they genetically created But the monsters are like blind and deaf, but they smell human fear. So what does humanity do? Space-fearing humanity. How do they fight them? Well, you have to master your fear

and become a shadow walker like Will Smith. He doesn't exude fear pheromones because he has no fear. And so he's just like a ninja master with this space spear killing them by hand. It's like, where's the air force? They're right around here. Oh, good point. Where's the air force?

But it sounds like a vehicle to make Will Smith look cool. And that's trying too hard. Oh, no, no, no. It was the vehicle to launch Jaden Smith's whole career. Will Smith is like backup role. He gets crippled at the beginning and he's at the ship on the radio going like, you have to keep going by son. You have to, uh, go deep into the forest with his stupid made up accent.

What the fuck? Why does he sound like that? I had a stroke in the crash. He made up a space accent for the movie and Jaden is essentially, Jaden has to put an antenna on a mountain to signal for help and all the while he's being stalked by the I don't remember what the ursa the mercer whatever monster that's after them that can That only smells human fear. And so at the end jayden masters his fear and becomes a shadow walker and like has a fight with the monster I hate it. Everyone did. Yeah. Everyone did. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. So you think Jaden is, he's not maybe not going to be a big actor? No, no, not at all. Not at all. Not unless he has one

of those like, who was the kid roundhouse or whatever round stack or whatever short stack whatever his name was short round there you go. It's like a bullseye. I was getting like six or seven no tens but he's circling the bullseye. He was the little kid in the Indiana Jones movie way back in the day, Temple of Doom. And then he had that huge resurgence of his career as a man, as like a 40 something year old man and everything, everywhere all at once. He's the guy in that doing all the kung fu.

Do you think Spielberg ever stopped him? Like short round would come in and be like, Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, there's an issue with the center of the market. And he's like, cut. So short round, just more Asian. More racist. Oh Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones! There you go.

Dr. Jones hold on, your potato's wrong. Oh, it's like yeah, can you throw a couple more oh in there? Oh, oh. Dr. Jones. Really cheek it up for me. You know what I mean. Don't worry, it's 1987, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, black magic voodoo dolls for some reason. When they go to the village, that's like become super poor and they're eating like slugs or whatever. That guy genuinely doesn't speak English. He his lines are phonetic. They like spelled out in Hindu what to say to Indiana Jones. And he's just sounding out words of English. And so it has a really interesting sound to it.

And he's he has a long he has lines. He's explaining that like that someone came and they the cult came They stole the magic stone the land is died Yeah, they took the magic fucking stone and everything. That's my favorite Indiana Jones movie Temple of Doom. I don't like the other two. It's much of Nazi stuff. I don't care I like the fucking dark temple and like Yeah, that's the one I like the most the Ark Temple when like Kali Ma. The Temple of Doom is the Kali Ma.

Yeah, that's the one I like the most. Kali Ma! I hated the end of the Ark of the Covenant one. It would always scare me when I saw the faces. The crayon melting faces? Yeah, I didn't like that. Yeah, that's cool. That's a good effect.

I always hated about Ark of the Covenant that they cut a scene, because it doesn't make any sense. Everybody's like all excited to rip open the Ark. And then for no reason Indiana Jones goes shut your eyes and you're like why what do you mean how do you know to shut your eyes when the Ark of the Covenant gets open he knew he's a historian he knew yeah that what do you mean the Ark of the Covenant in the Old Testament why did he know no one else knew yeah there was overzealous Nazis who thought

that they could take the power for their own and Indiana knew that it was more power than a man could grasp. That was their one ring. But if you've read the Old Testament, you know that the tabernacle, their moving temple, where they would keep the Ark of the Covenant, they had a giant curtain, like a six-foot thick. It's a curtain so big that I remember like being taught in Bible school about it and being like, what a six foot thick curtain. What was this hanging from in this portable temple? It's really a wall of cloth. Unless you were the high priest and you asked permission to go in there and were granted

it if you went in on your own dead, you just died from looking up on it. You think the boats got the Ark of the Covenant? So I think Indiana Jones probably read that. You think the Catholics have the Ark of the Covenant? You think they got it? You talk about that. You can't just expect the audience to go into it and know the rules of the Ark of the Covenant. You have to explain the rules at some point in the movie. They figure it out like 30 seconds later when all the Nazi spaces are open.

No, they figure it out because there's a deleted scene where a guy tells him, hey, if they open that fucking thing, close your eyes. Like that was a scene they told. Yeah, that's true. That would be that would be a useful bit of. That scene is super useful. They also if you pay attention the first time when they dig the Ark of the Covenant up, you know, and he hires like they're the Nazis are digging in the wrong spot because they have the wrong coordinates and they go in at night to dig it up. They also there's a deleted scene in the same scene. He goes and don't touch the fucking thing.

So if you pay attention during that scene, they have like all these like wooden planks and whatever to make sure they never actually touch the Ark of the Covenant. That's another Bible thing. See, if you went to Bible school, you went to the Sunday school. I remember the part of the Bible where he says, and lo on to Job, he looked at the thing and his eyes popped out of his fucking head. Yeah, well, the Bible doesn't go as, it wasn't quite as intense as the Nazi faces.

I loved it when the Nazis faces melted. It's one of the best parts of that movie that and when the guy they get in, he fights the big airplane mechanic and any backs into the propeller of the of the old property. It chopped them all up. Yeah. Did you watch the most recent Indiana Jones? No, I see. I watched Crystal Skull and I knew like that was about the time when I realized that that I shouldn't rewatch or I shouldn't watch the remakes and like the nostalgia like like like

Bay and all the the geezer teasers that I had to cut that out of my life that it would just make what came before less if I watched it. The most the weirdest thing in the new one is uh so yeah you have the heavy who use like the big brood of the movie and it's like watching indie fight this guy's going to be cool, you know, he's way bigger than India or whatever else. And then at one point there's a kid in the movie a little kid on what I think is like Indian or some and him in the him in the heavy fall in the water and they get dragged into this

underwater passage and they're like handcuffed together because the kids knows how to get to the magic thing and so the heavy can't cut the kid to him and the kid gets the key undoes the handcuffs and then cuffs the heavy to like some great underwater so the guy presumably suffocates to death underwater and I'm like you just had a little kid suffocate. That's not fun and adventurous at all Short round took a gun and started killing everybody. It's That you know, what do you think of the age Harrison Ford? How did you look? It's all like at night and it looked fine. I guess but you know, he's got old man voice though, doesn't he? He's still got that old man voice yeah why couldn't they fix that?

put some old Harrison Horne back in there you gotta get the AI voice in there yes go back to like uh those John Grisha movies he made in like the mid 90s in this scenario like if you get a CGI the actor and AI voice honestly not i mean a little because he plays old indie later on but but again, I didn't want to crystal skull was so fucking horseshit. There was aliens, fucking aliens at the end of that goddamn movie. And there was a part, the aliens weren't even the most ridiculous part.

There was a part where Shia LaBeouf traveled through the jungle by swinging on vines, not like monkeys, but with monkeys who were also swinging swinging on vines not like monkeys but with monkeys who were also swinging on the vines and that's before the giant ant showed up that is stupid I don't think I've seen it it's gonna show us career is it just over over I got a bunch of weird sex stuff he got real artsy with it. Yeah. Do you see nympho? That's not I mean, he got me too. Also, but I think he got a little me too. Dude, I hope he was being weird on the set. He's a really good actor. He's a method actor.

If he's being weird on set, I choose to believe it's for the betterment of his art. Tanya Barnett accused of the buff of sexual battery assault and infliction of emotional distress. He's playing a gay rapist in a movie. What do you expect of him? Shaw is legitimately crazy though. One of the weirdest things was, there's this comic book guy I really like named Daniel Klaus and he just makes little dumb indie comics. And then one day Shaw the buff goes, Hey, I made a,

I made a short film. It's starring that comedian who always talks about Hot Pockets. What's that guy name? You know? Again, yeah, Jim. Yeah, again. No, I made this thing. He's an art critic Jim Gaffigan I made this short film and then Dan Claus goes this is literally just a word-for-word Retelling of my comic book like you just took my comic book and made it into a movie and chase the names of the characters And it is exactly like 100% He just read the comic and made it into a short film and thought, like, I can just do this. Right.

And like, no, obviously, you can't. That's like making it really shitty. We're in movie. It's really weird. It's like at least cut him in. Right. Yeah. Why not? He's like a little comic guy. Who cares? I just remember when he kept raising that flag. And then the people from 4chan were like geolocating where it was.

Yeah. You will not divide us. Yeah. They were using star signs to like geolocating it. That's crazy. They were like... He also did a thing. He did a thing where he put a paper bag over his head and he was like in a theater and it's like you could pay 20 bucks to go in. And he's just sitting there wearing a paper bag on his head and he doesn't speak and he doesn't move.

And somebody asked him, they're like, so how was that? He's like, it was pretty good until this one girl raped me. And you're like, oh my God, why didn't you break character at that point? He's like, that would have defeated the purpose of the whole thing. All right. He was getting groped up there. He should have said, oh, that wasn't, he should have been like, that wasn't me. That wasn't me. I've been in the green room eating snacks drinking Perrier. Here's the thing, you would write Shy LeBuff but misspell the last name. Nobody knows how to spell his last fucking name. LeBuffee. Yeah that was Shy LeBuff. I'm Shy LeBuff.

No see it's S-H-Y-A. That's what this guy is. different stupid fucking name. No, I always liked him as an actor I liked him I guess in the the tape even Stevens No, I'm not going back to even Stevens. I like that shit evens I didn't watch any of that Disney stuff at all, but I liked him in the tape movie with with Brad Pitt But yeah, I was watching it. And then the sister from Even Stevens became Kim Possible. Yes. And then Ren, who I don't know what that actress's name is, but Ren was the sister's name on Even Steven. I haven't seen her in anything since Even Steven.

Is that I didn't watch Kim Possible. So I did. Were they doing foot stuff on that show, too? With Little Kids? No, because that was Disney Channel. So Little Kid foot stuff. Where was that at Nickelodeon? That was Nick. That was Dan Schneider. No, that's where I I go Dan Schneider was Nickelodeon, right? Is that yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's what that was He goes like well, you know like foot stuff's just funny and you're like, yeah but like some of that stuff is like at one point for some reason I was a I was watching like hey Arnold

I don't know how it popped up and I was like, how much foot shit can you put in one episode of Hey Arnold? It's like one episode that was just like a girl sticking her foot in Arnold's face and Arnold had to give her a foot rub and I'm like, what the fuck is this? It's really weird. Hey Arnold was not one of my go-to. If you look up Hey Arnold foot scene, I was like, something's going on. This is different.

You know who wasn't doing creepy stuff like that? Rocco's Modern Life. Just a good fun show. I didn't watch that either. A whole family. I didn't watch most of these shows. I did see Kim Possible. Kim Possible was a good time.

Vito, you made a comic book, right? I did make a comic book. Well, it's almost done. Right now I'm making all the tchotchkes and getting the coloring together. It's a done right now. I'm making all the tchotchkes and getting the coloring together I want to know all process. Do you harbor like dreams and aspirations that it gets picked up like the next boys? Oh I mean it will what do you mean? Yes Secret this thing into an animated series motherfucker. It's

a good understand Animated series not live action, not an Amazon. No, no, it's gotta be. It's gotta be animated. Come on. Cause that's how I saw the Chachkis and that nobody wants to buy an action figure of a real guy. It's gotta be a cool car and cartoon anime guy.

My room right now is full of all the merch I've been making. I want to see, uh, I have the super killer lunchbox. This will be the collector's edition that contains all the stuff. I have the super killer. There's pogs. I don't have the pogs in here, but they will come with the official super killer slammer, which is a metal coin, which is very nice. I have one here. Thank you for telling me what a slammer is. What is a pog? A A POG is you got milk caps Back when the kids were playing POGs. They're milk caps with little pictures of characters on them Those are those wooden things that you could get it like as a prize. You stack them all up. They're a bunch of

They're they're like cardboard. They're like cardboard discs. A milk cap? Like on a... Okay, here's how POGs went. I'll tell you. In Hawaii milk cart, uh, milk, uh, what do you call it? Milk caps jugs, milk jugs were covered with this little paper cap. That's how they sealed them. And the kids in Hawaii started collecting them for some stupid reason. And they invented this game where you would take all your milk caps and the other kid would take all his milk caps and you put them in one stack together and you'd take turns throwing like a stone at them or again like the slammer the big like heavy thing and whichever ones landed face up you kept and whichever

ones landed face down you put them back in the pile and you kept going so it was this game of trying to flip over as many as you could and then it kind of caught on and then every company started making pogs there was power r Rangers pogs there was also McDonald's had pogs at one point so it's basically a round trading card yeah it's a round trading card it's a stupid little collectible thing okay you can also made the enamel pins yeah well I made like a collector's edition where everybody gets I like making stuff it's fun, that's really cool very high quality How many

Super killer so he kills superheroes he goes from universe. He's a universe traveler Okay, basically you can check it out at super killer org But basically the idea is every universe has a actually Deadpool ripped me off every universe has a superhero Or if that superhero dies the entire universe dies around them like they're the central figure of that universe And this guy because there's too many universes and they're sucking too much power his job is to go from universe to universe Killing superheroes and ending worlds and Well, that's the thing he's like he's just a guy who kind of fell into it and he's got amnesia and he doesn't remember how he got this job. He just knows if I kill a hundred superheroes,

I get to quit. So I just need to destroy a hundred universes and then I'm done. And until then I'm an emotional blank slate and I'm not going to think about it at all. But then he meets a girl and he saves her life and she's along for the ride and she's like, Hey, you're a monster. You're a fucking asshole. He's like, yeah, I know. Look, can we just push through this and get this done? No. No.

No. It's like a really dark comedy, you know? And then she's going from the universe. So, you know, I have one issue is gonna be like, he's gotta kill Sailor Moon. You know, another issue is gotta kill the Flash. Yeah, so I got a bunch of stuff planned out. We just gotta bang out this first one.

How do you handle killing things you don't have IP to well, I mean we're gonna call her like sailor magic Supergirl Hey sugar mountain So like you know in the first one he's clearly fighting a Superman type character But I just call him meteor man and there's there's some differences, you know Maybe someday I will be able to get some IP and he can go kill some real guys, but I just call him meteor man. And there's, there's some differences, you know, maybe someday I will be able to get some IP and he can go kill some real guys, but get any cool

Sanders. Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun with it. Uh, and it should be out before the end of the year. We just got to get it to the publisher. So it'll be like, how many, how many of my friends, I guess, like, do you have plans for like the whole overarching story? How many stories, like how many additions, I guess. Like, do you have plans for like the whole overarching story? I think you want to know how many stories, like how many editions, I guess. Well, the way I've set it up, like honestly, if you know, if it keeps going for this first one, we raised like a hundred and ten thousand dollars. I got like two thousand people waiting on it. Obviously, it'll like, you know, the first one everybody wants to issue one and then you kind of find some readers and stick with it.

But, you know, I would keep it going for, you know, a decade if I could, which is as long as I can keep people reading. This first, you know, but I haven't broken up into like an arc. So I have an arc planned out in my head. There's this kind of, spoilers, there's this kind of Batman type guy who figures out what's going on. He's like, this guy's an asshole and he's ending worlds.

And he's chasing him from world to world trying to break his neck. So I think the first arc is kind of kind of deal with this one character who's chasing them from world to world trying to stop them. That'll be like six issues. If we can do like two, three issues a year, it's just really hard to get people to commit with the schedules and the artists. How are you like writing? Like do you like break down like an outline format? Are you storyboarding it? Are you just like jotting down notes and ideas? I am storyboarding. That's the other thing that's probably,

I don't know if I'm gonna keep doing this, but for this first one, I storyboarded like every single page. I really like broke it down intensely. So, and it's been really cool to see him take my storyboards and make them into like actual pages and stuff. But that leads me to, so you write, obviously you came up with the idea in the first place,

and now you're writing, do you write every word yourself? Yeah, yeah, I mean I have like an editor, I have a couple like, you know, guys, I pitch it, you know, I send it to them and I go, hey, does this make sense? And they'll go, oh, this part doesn't make sense, you should change this word. And then how do the pictures get created?

Do you have artistic talent or do you have somebody else? Yeah, so I have an artist, he's this awesome guy out of Mexico. So I'll hand him my storyboards real quick, I'm trying to see if I can pull it up at all. And I'll basically send it to him and I go, well, this is basically what I think I want. And then he'll play around with it

and try to make it actually work. So real quick here, let me see. Yeah, Zach's putting whatever he's sending up. I'm trying to see if I could find the... While you do that, if you lost your artist, is there like another artist that could take over in that style? Or are you like really hosed? Well, honestly, I'm in this interesting position. I mean, like in comics, you'll see,

artists will change sometimes on issues, but I'm in this like very lucky predicament where if each issue is set in a different universe, it's not really jarring if the artist changes. Like if I go to Sailor Moon universe, I can use a guy who's better at drawing, you know, anime type shit. That's neat.

So it kind of, yeah, it's gonna, and it's also gonna make it so I can have guys hopefully working on, you know, one guy can be working on issue two and the next guy is working on issue three. I can do them in tandem because different guys can do different ones. Okay, there's my screen.

Is that working? So this is what I sent the artist. I'm like, okay, so it's planning it. Yeah, yeah. So I drew this. So obviously it's just kind of like chicken scratch, but it kind of shows where I want people to be and whatever else. That's a thousand times better than I could do. I do all right. And then this was his version of that. So he takes that and he kind of fleshes it out and makes it into a real thing. And you know, we go back and forth.

I go, hey, like I think this actually this one I go, can you get rid of that line on her face? It looks like she's drooling or can you change his expression so he's happy and so can you go back to yours? Yeah. Once. Yeah. There we go. Okay.

I'm looking at the bang and then like what he turned it into like with adding his own. The bang will come into like, you know, so that's also like the letter is going to add to it. So the letter will add, you know, sound effects and stuff. This is all temporary. Like all the words you see here is just my temporary lettering. So I can send it to people to read over the script and whatever else. Yeah. It's pretty cool how you can take like really stupid,

my really stupid drawings and make them far less stupid. No, it's important. Like a picture tells a thousand words. I'm not like a big tattoo guy or anything, but in the tattoo world, if you have a vision and you draw it, even if you're as horrible as I am, the tattoo artist is like, it's actually more helpful than you might think. You know, for you to use your words to tell me what a picture should look like is crap compared to your poorly drawn third

grade sailboat. Like that tells me so much more. And yeah, so anyway, years are, I mean, to insinuate that. Yeah, it's no, no, it's just been, it's been a lot of fun working on it. And it's all, I mean, obviously I'm more learning my way through the process. I've printed stuff before, but I've never dealt with, you know, colorists, letterers, whatever else. It's a lot of it's managing a lot of different people. But how long are the additions? So like addition one, like it's like 50 pages. Well, that's the other problem is like a typical comic is like 20 pages,

30 pages. This first issue is like 68 pages. So it's more of a graphic novel than like a comic book issue. What's hard that you didn't expect to be hard man a lot of stuff I think just like the back and forth of like trying to really knit like honestly now when we first started off the artist and me like I think it's like kind of understanding each other's styles like now that we've been working together for a while when I say like here's what I want it to look like like now He gets it

But at first it was a lot of like oh now you gotta go back you gotta fix this we gotta change this You guys in the same time zone how far apart are you? We're I mean he's in Mexico. So I think I think we're pretty much in the same time zone He might be off by an hour. I don't know exactly what part That's not bad. I used to work three hours apart, like East Coast and West. It's worse than you'd think. Like not only do they not start until like 11, they don't really start until like 12 and then like you're at lunch. So you don't really start together until one and then that ends at,

you know, just a few hours later and then they go to lunch at what is it? Three. So you would, you have like from one to three and then from then then four and five. And that's it. You're like, what, you're three hours apart and you somehow lose like all those hours. Yeah. Well, making all these chachkas and also the printers are all in China. So all those guys I got to talk to it like one o'clock in the morning.

And, uh, there's a big language barrier there. Actually with the lunch boxeses out there like I Was like don't print these yet. I want to change them a little bit And they're like yeah sure and the next day they go so we printed three thousand three hundred of them I'm like oh god for the look now Luckily the thing I thought was gonna be a problem. I see it. I'm like okay never mind It looks fine, but I was they're like sorry about that. We'll give you a hundred bucks off I'm like under but it's been a lot of those 100 bucks off. I'm like, 100 bucks. I spent a lot on those things.

Is there like, is the issue you find more that like, oh, I have so much more I want to add to the comic and I can't fit it or are you worried in the future ever being like, oh, fuck. I think the issue is- I can't get more than 12 pages in this episode. I don't want it. I don't want my artists to go insane, you know? So like there's a certain point where I go, okay, it might be like a marginally better if I had them redraw this thing or whatever, but does it really, like at a certain point,

you just gotta stop nitpicking over it. You know, I think that's the biggest thing is like, people don't understand how much time it takes to get this stuff done, you know, just drawing these pages. And they're like, the guys at Marvel and DC who can like pump out like two pages a day are like, if you look at the quality of it, it's like not 100% there because they're just like, yeah, just get it done, get it done. Like with this, I'm like being really particular because I'm going, well, it's issue one. If they don't like issue one, they're not going to read

issue two. So let's make issue one like as phenomenal as we possibly can. And the rest of them, we can cut some corners and it doesn't have to, not every panel needs like lavish attention on it. Are your customers as discerning as you? Like I don't think I'd recognize the difference between like your artwork and Marvel. Like I'm just not that sophisticated a customer.

It's a mix. There's some people who, that's the weird thing about comic art is like some people can really tell what quality looks like and some people have no ideas. So But at the end of the day, you know what? I want to be a little bit of a snooty perfectionist I've never gotten to make a comic book before and this is honestly an idea I've had kicking around for over a decade and I just want it to be a thing where I can Pick it off the shelf and not go. I fucking hate this part. I wish I had done this better

I just want to knock as many like rough corners off and I go, this is good. This is something I'm happy I made. Cause who knows if I get to make another one, you know, maybe I don't hate it. Rolling the dice and trying like doing it is. It's impressive for me. Like I don't, I think it's really neat that you got past the, you know, I have an idea. I'd love to do this someday. Well, why don't you? Well, how do I get started? I need a factor. I, you know, I have an idea. I'd love to do this someday. Well, why don't you? Well, how do I get started?

I need a backer. There's some reason I can't chase my dreams. So I'm just kind of not. Has working with China been frustrating, getting the knickknacks and all that? They're usually pretty good. They've got it down to a science. You go to Alibaba and you go, I want to make,

I got yo-yos coming in. That lunchbox is going to be full of so much garbage because I don't, I don't know why I'm an idiot. I was like, get a lunchbox full of garbage. But, yeah, they know what they're doing. And, uh, I'm trying to think, I guess, I guess, yeah, the miscommunication sometimes I also made plush toys. So that was a bit of a problem. I got one of those kicking around somewhere. What was the issue with the plush toys? They that was a bit of a problem. I got one of those kicking around somewhere. What was the issue with the plush toys? They just made it wrong.

They were getting the colors wrong. I was like, I was like this color blue. And they're like, yeah, like the sky. I'm like, no, like Batman blue. Do I have one? I think I go, oh, here we go. Batman blue. I didn't know. Yeah, the dark Batman blue like that. Oh, yeah. That's not Batman. That is Batman blue to me. Yeah, I know that's what I wanted like Doing it the wrong color. I was like that looks terrible Got a little the hoodie comes off

Look this is gonna be my Comic fails. I'm just gonna make idiotic merch for everybody else When the comic fails, I'm just going to make idiotic merch for everybody else. It seems like you're like on the road to success with like this all looks really, really professional. And it's an interesting, I know, I couldn't know less about the comic book world. I didn't read any as a kid. It just wasn't, I didn't have friends who were into it. So I don't really know. But the premise is interesting. I like that more than like, And it's going to be, well, the thing is also, also it's got to be it's like funny. I think one of the big problems that comics are facing these days is like Spider-Man was funny.

Remember Spider-Man is swinging around he's cracking jokes or whatever and even you go back and you read like the old Superman if you read like the original Superman issues he's like he's like you know forcing Jimmy Olsen to marry an ape and Batman's like you know finding a million Robins and dressing up in rainbow. Like everybody makes fun of that old Batman TV show because we're all campy and stupid. You're like, yeah, but that was really fun and like funny. And now everything's so like dark. It's civil war, man. What if what if Iron Man and Captain America were mad at each other? I like that movie. It's a good movie. But at the end of the day, like you realize,

like most of this is kind of stupid and like goofy. Like some of the favorite parts in that movie are the funny part. Like the big fight where Spider-Man is like, you have a bad alarm. You know, the thing does not follow the laws. That's what drives me nuts is when people complain about the Marvel quips. I'm like, those movies would be unwatchable if Robert Downey Jr. wasn't dropping these little one-liners.

It's like, who's that guy? He's a wizard from space. Oh, he's an alien who came here to steal a necklace from a wizard. I'm like, that's just funny. And that is an accurate description of what has happened. Yeah. You're embarrassing me in front of the wizards.

He's the only person who seems like he's from the real world is like, it's an alien. He's here to steal that magic. And I also think, you know, how anime is like kicking ass right now and all the like one piece gets its own show and whatever else. Like I think the Japanese really understand how to make comics. Like Japanese comics are funny. And you kind of when you have a funny character, you know, like a guy who's goofing

around and cracking jokes and all of a sudden the bad guys got him like, you know, choking him out about to stab him through the head. You go, shit, that's my little buddy. I don't want him to fucking die. You know, I like that guy. Whereas if he spent the whole time being like a brooding badass and he's about to die, you're like, well, yeah, but that's kind of his thing, right? It's not his yeah, right goes around comes around action Yeah, exactly. I just watch that guy break a bunch of people's fucking faces. Why do I care if another guy kills him? I also like Punisher though I like something like Punisher where he's I wish they had made

When they made the Punisher TV show the first season was fine because he's like getting his backstory out of the way But I expected season 2 to be him just going to Detroit and cleaning house Or like picking a mob family somewhere or like a pornography ring or like human Trafficking or something like that and then just working his way up the ladder of seniority murdering It wasn't that's a good man every episodes like a different level of the crime organization. Yeah We're going after the street level dealers. The next episode. Okay, now we're going after the suppliers. And they do it in the background.

They're like, oh, yeah. And then they have it. They like show an exterior shot of like a shady like edge of the city by the waterworks factory. And then you just hear like machine gun fire and flashes from the windows. And Frank walks out. You're like, oh, yeah, he killed them all. It's like, that's what I'm here for. I'm here for the part that you think is background information.

I'm here for the part where he puts the bullets in the mag. I came here for the punishing and I was denied it. And now I'm sad. Yeah, he's always got to find a girl to take care of or something like that. I did like the prison fight that they had in the second season maybe. He gets in like a prison fight with maybe six other guys to the death. He's stabbing people with a broken mop handle. That was pretty fucking cool. It's brutal. Was there a Netflix series? Yeah, yeah it was good. Netflix like lost all that Marvel because of the problem was Disney Plus came along. And then Disney is like, we want all that shit back.

And the only thing they saved was Daredevil and they put him in the She-Hulk show for some. Oh, man, that She-Hulk show was such a disappointment. Yeah. That's another example of like, man, how do you screw up the She-Hulk show? A court show about superheroes and court stuff with, you know, what happens when the Hulk breaks your building? It's like, all right, well, you owe me another building. And I'm like, I want to see that shit. But instead it ended up being like a relationship drama and oh, God, she hoped was terrible. Did you ever watch Harvey Birdman? No, I remember that being on Adult Swim. That's what he's a lawyer, right? Yeah, he was the lawyer, like, representing the Flintstones and like, uh, Scooby Doo and

his friends gets caught smoking pot, but they can't call it pot. So like, that was such a weird fucking show. It was a really good premise. All I remember is when that would come on, just always thinking like, I should go to bed. Like, no, no, it's 1 15 in the morning. Harry Birdman holds up. I'm going to watch this weird 15 minute run time fever dream.

There was worse. I'm feeling weird. There was like 10 ounce mouse and a bunch of weird. I never watched Squidbillies. That was I was just thinking. Nothing got me to turn off Adult Swim faster than seeing. I could not watch depressing aesthetic that was Squidbillies. I hate I don't think I've ever I've never seen the aesthetic of the show and disliked it as much as I hate. It reminded me a bit of Ren and Stimpy in some ways, but it's really gross animation.

I didn't like it either. I also really did not like Ren and Stimpy as a kid. I, I, there was this period, I mean, there still is like kids are supposed to like gross out toilet humor and whatever else. And, but I just could never get into it. And a lot of the Nickelodeon stuff was that I really liked the monsters. I was like, this sucks. Yeah. I liked the animaniacs and a pinky in the brain and all that shit. I liked the Warner Brothers cartoons more. And even going back in the day,

Looney Tunes, I watched tons of Looney Tunes when I was like five. Yeah, it was on 24-7. I think they got Speedy Gonzales. I think they angiomimed him. Speedy Gonzales was a role model. Me and Papa loved to watch Speedy Gonzales. And his cousin Slowpoke McGraw or whatever his name was was. He's like Speedy, I am not as fast as you are. He's like real slow. Slowpoke Rodriguez. Thank you. That was his name.

Because McGraw's the donkey with the guns. Yeah, but Speedy would come in like a superhero and save him from, I think it was Yosemite Sam was up to no good in the. Yeah, there was a lot of Yosemite Sam cause and trouble. Yeah. Classic. Love the Yosemite Sam was, it was up to no good in the, in the Yosemite Sam cause and trouble. Classic. Love the Yosemite Sam. When he would pop on screen. I also loved loghorn leghorn as a young kid.

He had so much energy. He was great. He'd pop on screen and he'd make funny jokes. That second space jam movie with LeBron James. Skip that one too. No, I got to lie. The fucking worst thing I've ever heard. I can tell you something's going on.

First one wasn't good. I liked it when I was 10. Are you sure you're just not the demo? Right? Cause these guys think the first one was good. Cause they were the right age for it. I do. He doesn't.

I enjoyed it as a kid, but I bet if I watch it now, I still think it's good. I still think it's good. I still think it's good. I think the original Space Jam has some good gags. The part where Michael Jordan gets sucked into a golf hole and Bill Murray immediately, the guys are about to take their picture. It's like, will you put that fucking camera down? You think the camera was pretty good. The one here's the weirdest thing is like Warner Brothers keeps doing this thing where

they're go, here's all this shit we own. And they keep putting it in every movie. So in the middle of the Space Jam movie, the guys from A Clockwork Orange are just in the audience. And you're like, that's a movie about a bunch of rapists. There's a scene where they hold a woman down and rape her. That should not be in space jam. It does not make any sense.

No, they paralyzed a guy and laughed about it. Singing. How is that different than having Marvin the Martian there? I don't get it. Angry. Yeah. He's right. Marvin the Martian would be part of the rape.

Isn't that what he said? And you make me, oh, you make me so angry. You make me so angry. You make me so angry. You can shake and hand that little... I wasn't a Marvin the Martian fan. It was kind of just a cast of characters that were always popping up in those cartoon shows though. Apparently that Looney Tunes movie that got shelved was actually really good. You see the one that people were fighting to get released? No. Yeah.

All like Coyote versus Acme. And I think it's about the coyote finally suing the Acme Corporation for selling him all this garbage over the years. It doesn't work. And people like people have seen it were like, it's fucking hilarious. But like Warner Brothers did that thing where they're like, yeah, we're just going to get rid of it for the tax break. Yeah. They did that the Batgirl and no one complained.

Well, you got Batgirl. You're like, that's fine. Do you know the rest of the cast in that Batgirl movie, though? The only reason I was excited for Batgirl was because What's His Name was playing Firefly fucking the mummy. The whale. Brendan Fraser. Brendan Fraser was going to be the villain of the Batgirl movie. And I was like, I'll watch that. The whole cast was good, like everybody was good.

But apparently it was so bad that they know. And I've seen it looks bad. I think they recast Batgirl at one point even. I think they had to get a different actress to play Batgirl at one point. And eventually they just canned the whole thing and deleted it. Yeah, that's crazy. There's been a bunch of that weird stuff. I would watch the coyote road. Ioyote and Roadrunner like movie.

I think that was one of my favorites. Yeah, I think I'm imagining there'd be like movie. I need them to like flash back to what happened like and then I bought this enormous sling shot and I constructed it to spec. Okay, we test fired it. Everything was fine. But then when I got into it, like an enormous arrow and shot myself, well, what you know, I fell straight to the ground and the whole movie

does kind of right. Like the whole gag where you paint the tunnel on the wall. Like the Acme paint. I painted a hole and it made a real hole. And then when I tried to run through it, I just slammed it in the wall. Well, that was supposed to last at least half an hour as it says in the back of the can, I got three seconds at the most. He was gone.

I'm hoping somebody leaks it. I think it'll happen. I think all that stuff. Somebody's got to, somebody's got to have a version on their hard drive somewhere. I want the like Uber, Uber version of the Lord of the Rings to come out too. I want them to take all that extra footage. Dude, they've got, I've seen some of the clips and I've seen the stills. They've got so much more, dude. They got so much.

They got like another 30 minutes per movie or something. Dude, if they released a five-hour version of every movie, I would watch it. I want to monkey all this, right? And they release a super extended version of The Hobbit. I will not be watching that. I want to monkey all this right? And release a super extended version of The Hobbit. I will not be watching that. Well, I'll skip that one. I wouldn't watch a largely truncated version of The Hobbit. That's what I need is somebody like, I can't remember who maybe Toby McGuire did it to some movie. I need somebody to edit down all three Hobbit movies into one 90 minute film that's worth a damn.

They couldn't do it. It's not good enough. It was Topher Grace. Topher Grace did that to Star Wars. Topher Grace took the Star Wars prequels and he made them all into one movie, right? Wait, that 70s, Eric? Yeah. Yeah. He did. So he's been like, he wanted to be film editor. And I don't know if he still was doing it. But as practice, he cut all the Star Wars movies into one movie and he screened it privately. And, you know, people who saw it were like, yeah, it's actually pretty good. It's like this legendary Topher Grace cut that nobody nobody can say. Cool. I haven't seen him in anything since that.

Black KK Klansman. He played a bad guy. Oh, that was good. David Duke. Yeah. Wait. So I think I saw a clip from that movie. Is that OK? Maybe maybe not. I saw a clip from a different movie maybe where the white guy is like FBI, but he's undercover with the Klan. And he's he's so he's having to like do a Klan parade.

And so he's undercover FBI, but he's pretending to be Klansman in the Klan parade with the hood like popped up high You know how they do it sometimes show in the face But also displaying the hood and a black friend of his is like there to protest He goes shut up ninja and it's like That was hard. And his buddy is like, the fuck? Man, that was intense. It was so intense.

Yeah, he made that army movie where he had been forced to beat his buddy to death. No, no, no, that's Toby McGuire. Never mind. He made Predators where he was the serial killer. He got kind of vindicated because remember he left that 70s show and there was this kind of there's this thing where they're like yeah Tofer Graves was really hard to work with and then What's His Name got arrested for raping all those people. Danny McBride. Yeah, I had trouble working with that rapist. That guy sucked. You know, like oh shit Tofer's vindicated. All right. And I think the whole time, or a lot of the time they were filming, it wasn't Danny Masterson and the Redhead actors. They were both Scientologists the whole time,

right? Because I think I heard something about that causing some rifts. His girlfriend. Yeah, his, Donna. That's her name. Yep. You know who I didn't I didn't ever care about Donna She was never funny. I guess you need a straight man character, but I liked her dad a lot Afro typing yeah Like Recently and I think it completely fell off that 80s show. Is it or that 90s? So they 80s.

It wasn't 90s. Am I crazy? They just tried to do 90s. They did do both. Like the late 2000s, they did do 80s show and nobody watched it. That was even older. It was early 2000s. They tried to do 80s show and do like a direct and, and, and in it fucking Dennis Reynolds what's his name that actor was in the 90s show from the

late 2000s I hope that's making sense on the success of that 70s show they tried to make that 90 show was like here's the you know and things progress or whatever and it did not go over well but yeah I guess that 90 show did get a second season. So, oh wait, August 24th. That was coming out. That 90s show is out now. The new thing. Yeah. OK. Yeah. What? Yeah, they all are. So is red.

I mean, it's pretty much just the red and kitty are like the focus, I think, because they couldn't get anybody else back. Ashton Kutcher is not coming in. That's that's a shame. I feel like Ashton K else back. Ashton Kutcher is not coming in. That's that's a shame. I feel like Ashton Kutcher and Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis got a, got a hard time because they, they wrote that support letter for their rapist. But it's like, come on, man. That's a rapist buddy.

They didn't write, Hey, he didn't mean it. They just wrote the good things they knew about him. Like, Hey, I don't know rapist Danny. I don't know that guy. I know generous, kind, well-meaning Danny, who helped me when I had a flat tire. They wrote one of them letters and everybody was giving him a hard time. Meanwhile,

I'm pretty sure Ashton Kutcher runs a whole like global charity to like help traffic to women. I think that's like his thing. Yeah. That's like his big thing. Now he's running that charity. They made the wrong play. It was one of those things where if he just shut, if they may have let it go Hmm. I want to Down from the board of that in the in light of his Danny master Sun support letter that he and that's bizarre cuz that was one of those like flash-in-the-pan fake

Cancellations where I'm like this is gonna be over in a week. They had all see they made an apology video the first day Yeah, they did a full team Martin dude. They're crying in front of the wall. They got a dog like it was Go by yeah, you pull a syndicate then it just goes away step down. I'm reading it on the always Wikipedia page That's a shame. They should have done disrespect and said did my buddy rape some women sure No, you should have tweeted been like vacations too good and said, did my buddy rape some women? Sure. No, he should have. He should have tweeted and been like vacations too good. Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja.

That's apparently what. Where do you think he's vacationing? Like genuinely? Where do you think the doc is? Like if you're a geogasser, we're playing geogasser. And you have to pick an area on the planet. Whoever's closest gets the, gets the cashola. Where is, where are you throwing that pin down for the docs locale?

Thailand. whoever's closest gets the gets the cashola. Where is where are you throwing that pin down for the docks locale? Thailand. Well, I guess I'm not a side. Dude, he's he's stressed out. You're where do you see him? The man just needs a nightly massage. No, he likes the nature there and a midday massage. Sunsets in Thailand are wild. I'm told. Mm-hmm. Yep

Not that he's seen sunset code for I just made I just said that wasn't coded When the Sun goes down it turns kind of orange and red That would be the problem being in Thailand. I mean, I'm sure it's pretty nice. It's probably pretty nice, is they got monkeys in the... I bet he's home. That's my actual guess. Who wants it? What's it been, six weeks?

Ah, we'd had some sort of YouTube paparazzi out there like scoping him out. Doc, Doc, what do you say about the allegations? And then flash bulbs going off like the 50s. Pchoo, pchoo. The wife probably already made peace with this years ago, right? She must have known why you had to buy it.

I'm here to see if they know you, Doc! I've wondered that too. The wife probably already made peace with this years ago, right? She must have known why you had to fight. I've wondered that too, like the wife made peace with him stepping out of his marriage, but did she make peace with his attempted pedophile and masturbating to trannies? Well, I mean, when he got banned from Twitch, do you think he gave her like a, oh man, it's just like some shit, you know? Like, how do you hide that from your wife? Yeah. Maybe he didn't. Maybe she would. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to hear that one. Like, as far as I know, this thing about him trying to fuck children is new information to her from this year. Oh, really? Well, she probably I would not imagine. Oh, well, every Jeffrey Epstein needs his guy slain Maxwell No, I bet she thought Fucking other adults

The children I always felt bad when I heard Christina Applegate got that double mastectomy because it's not like a normal lady losing her boobies. Those were like magical titties. Those were magical titties. It's like you're in good shape. It's like you're in good shape, got paralyzed. Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing.

Yeah, yeah. At least you can slip on those latex fake boobs and make TikTok videos. No, dude, Zach, can you show me? Here's what you Google search. Married with children, Christina Applegate, pokies. All right, that's what you're looking for. That's how we fucking got people to watch TV shows in the 90s, god damn it. You put a bad bitch on there with her titties out. Various attractive attractive lady lost her boobs. Yeah, she's like up there. She's like real close.

Oh! Right? Like does it, is there any room for improvement on this physique? Ah, she's pretty stunning. Like there's more of it and it's also good. She doesn't cut off here. There's more person there, trust me.

No, you don't. Oh my God. She doesn't end there? Yeah. End more. It's as good as it gets. Wah-wa-wee-wa. Wah-wa-wee-wa. Yeah, I. It's as good as a while. Well, we were well, we were. Yeah.

I was a big fan of Christina Applegate when I was a child. And I still am. Even though I think she has some sort of like, I don't know, neurological disorder. She, I don't think she's getting turned into a stone like Celine Dion is, but something bad, MS, you've got MS and then she lost the boobies to cancer. It's gotta be rough. Celine Dion's got that like turn into a stone person disease. She's got that same shit that got the trolls and Lord of the Rings when the sun came up. She's got that shit. So they had to like, they wheeled her out for the Olympics to sing a song but she's slowly turning into a stone person.

Still in the 90s. I don't have the best boobs in the nursing home, I'll be the envy. Just putting a nice... Jesus Christ, Zach. Is this looking click hole? That's right. By the way, another beautiful photo of her, by the way. It might still be true.

I mean, like, they won't be like the boobs she's born with, but doesn't she have a rocking chest, I assume? They cut her tits off They can put new ones in they can't pop them in there. No, they have a mastectomies have new have brush jobs What do you think they follow? Yeah. No, I don't think so. Yeah, you can a thousand percent Get breast implants most of the time. Yeah, what is 100% right? Yeah, but you got no nipple. It's gone I got a tattoo that bitch on there Woody's 100% right. Well yeah, but you got no nipple, it's gone.

They gotta tattoo that bitch on there. Celine Dion has stiff person syndrome, which sounds like something a woman would make up. No, stiff person syndrome is real. It turns you into a fucking calcified piece of human. And she is like in excruciating pain and like turning solid and she won't be able to move for much longer. That's horrible.

That poor woman. I saw Game of Thrones. They can cure that. They just have to carve your skin off with a knife and off the grayscale. Well, I hope that the poppy maybe Sam can help her. So, Kyle, we're kind of both right. It used to be in a total mastectomy. You lost the nipple in areola, but now there's a new technique with a nipple sparing mastectomy, you lost the nipple in areola but now there's a new technique with a nipple sparing mastectomy. Nice. Yeah. They're safe. You just cut around the nipple.

It would seem like it wouldn't be wildly hard to do. It's not the skin that has cancer. You do that in a breast augmentation anyway a lot of the time. You gotta move that bitch. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah. I think it's more the doctor's like, look, I can just lop it off in two seconds or else I gotta go in. Lazy doctor. Penis lesson. Do you need the nipple really? Well, I'd like to keep them. All right. I'll do it. We'll make sure it doesn't cover that. You know, I bet they say that. I bet they're like, this is life threatening. You know, that.

Take the Tarot lady comic. Did you see she just did an entire special after getting a mastectomy and she's that. I bet they're like, this is not life threatening. You know that Tig Notaro lady comic, did you see she just did an entire special after getting a mastectomy and she's topless the whole time? The r slash opiant Anthony subreddit was my favorite forum on the internet and they bullied Tig Notaro. Like this was like right after news of her like having a double mastectomy and everyone on that Reddit was calling her her instead of Tignitaro, Tintinomoro. It was so fucking mean. That was the meanest form on the internet. I miss it. I'm having to Google who Tignitaro is. Well that's mean. Yeah, they were really mean. They were rude fellas. I think think she helped cancel Louis CK, so I don't feel that bad.

Oh, well never mind then. I'm looking at her topless here. She helped cancel him, but did she help him get off too? No, she was offended on behalf of the other people who helped him get off. You know what? Louis CK, if he wanted to jack off in front of her, he would have asked. I was hoping Tignitar was at least new in the old like, ah, Louis CK is my least favorite. Red Eye.

You guys ready to rap? The best part of the Louis CK cancellation was, there was all these rumors where it's like, you know, there's a comedian in Hollywood who was jerking off and in front of women. But you know, nobody will say who it is. And Doug Stanhope, in what is the ultimate bro move of all time, went, it was me. Cause he's like, I'm Doug Stanhope, who gives a shit? I can be a piece of shit. I tell everyone, tell everyone Doug Stanhope was jerking off in front of women. I'm like, he's trying to take the jerk off bullet for Lewis.

Doug Stanhope is a stand up guy. Funny dude. Yeah, he's a 100% stand up guy. You want a friend who will take credit for you jerking off in front of women. Vito, where can everyone find your stuff? Specifically, is it too late to buy the comic? Can you get it? Here's the deal is I've cut you off for now. But right when we go to print, there will be a last chance campaign to get in. So if you go to superkiller.org, it'll take you to Indiegogo, you can sign up to be on the mailing list. And then there'll be like a week where you can still get it through that. And then if you don't get it through the campaign, we will do like a second printing, but it's not

going to have the little holofoil stamp. It won't be the first edition. It'll be a little, you know, if you want to get the first edition, if you collect comics, you want to get the first one. So yeah, you can go to super killer.org, sign up for the mailing list. And of course I do a great podcast with Dick mattress and at youtube.com slash biggest problem. We're having a lot of fun in that show is every Friday, 6pm Pacific time, at 9pm Eastern. Cool, cool, cool. There you go. Pka seven 15.