Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Ania Magliano S11E011

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Ania MaglianoAnia Magliano - https://twitter.com/AniaMagsPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetThe 56 year old boy - https://vimeo.com/88182452Don't forget: on March 25th at 8pm GMT we are holding an online Flatshare Slamdown with guests Suzi Ruffell (Live at the Apollo) and Tom Allen (ALL the TV). Tickets are £5 (free for NHS) - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-w-suzi-ruffell-and-tom-allen-tickets-141659446217If you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Cast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcast everywhere.

acast.com Greetings, listener dear! We're back where we belong in your eica now! I'm the one they call Tom! And I'm Ben.. I'm the one they call Tom And I'm Ben and I'm Matthew. Yeah, we're not playing on that Tom come on You knew even if you were saying I could see I could see you you crossed your arms You know you like across your chest and you sort of had an impish grin on your face You know, oh're like, oh I'm really going to do them over here, but you did yourself mate. You did yourself. Well that's good, this is this sort of argy bargey is exactly what we're after because it's a beef brother's cold cuts here. Before we get cracking with the episode, we have a bit of announcement to

make about the next flat-share slam down live over Zoom. Oh God. It's, you know about this, don't you? Yeah, you don't. When is it? What's the date? It's not joking, ah. It's great. I just have, whenever I hear it, that fear kicks in, it's like, oh, something's happening.

Do I know it's happening? Have I just said yes to it? Yeah, you have said yes to it. It's still on the 25th of March. It's still happening over zoom. You can watch it on YouTube if you buy a link from eventbrite.co.uk. There's a slight change to the lineup. Rachel Paris, unfortunately, is not able to do it anymore. So Tom Allen is stepped in. Our dear friend Tom Allen, who has been on the show

before, absolutely brilliant. Obviously, a double-ac part, there's a suzi as well. So, you know, they do their, they do their like-minded friends podcast together. So it's a like-minded friend's as well. So, you know, they do their, they do their like-minded friends podcast together. So it's a like-minded friends, uh, Bappy's Fatshare, um, mashup. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be really, really fun. And there's a link to it in the show notes. Yes, brah! Yes! In fact, in fact, it'll be nice. The last time we had Tom Arlon on, we, uh, we were performing at a festival where they thought we were supposed to be performing for 45 minutes. And we were

settling into doing an hour and a half show. And minutes in we were on the end of round one and the organist is going to tell us that we have to start wrapping things up. He's flashing the light at it. It was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough,

it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was a tough, it was where we could take out his own house. And also of course, he is the one they call Tom. So that's exciting. Another one they call Tom, absolutely. Another one they call Tom.

We should also as well say, if you've got a beef that you'd like to send in, send it to beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com. It's always great to hear your beef. We had some fantastic ones in recently. Can I read you this from Jacob? Now, we're not going to do it your beef, Jacob, but we are going to read the intro to your beef.

This is from Jacob via Beef Brothers podcast at gmail.com He says hello beef brothers big fan of the show. Haven't always been It's been forced on me since since I was 16 and my friends have dragged me kicking and screaming into Papi's fandom. Used to find it grating. I mean, don't pull your punches, Jake. It tells what you really think. In fact, I was made to listen on a drama trip once to the milk episode on the coach and

I had my friend look at it with the whole journey. The pressure to fake laugh was overwhelming but now I love it. Look forward every week to the releases. I'm 23 now so I think it's just been a case of me growing up at Ad Yours Faithfully, Jacob from Canterbury. The email went on to say I saw you in Canterbury, here are some of the things that Tom said on stage, I'm not gonna read him out again. I mean, in the cold light of day, they make for some stark reading, so we're not reading that bit out, and we're not doing the B fever, but thank you very much for telling us

that you used to hate us and know you like us. That is the kind of email. It's better than the emails that say the other way round. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely right. Do you guys? Could you send that fully email to me that I'm on the one? We'd love to read that. We've got a brilliant people in this call

cuts for you today with the brilliant Ania Magliano. Want to treat? Let's get into it, shall we? Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem call it a B. If you've got a problem, call it a B. If you've got a B, B. Maybe we can help you be from the sorting at your B. All right.

Right. Here we go, then. Oh, is that you, all right, I thought it was right. Normally, right, here we go, then, suggest you might then say something to, do you want something else to start things off, Tom? Well, here we are. I'm just trying to think I've been technically

Have we started we haven't started yet anyway? Hello everyone Do I know you don't say that okay? So I'm stuck for a second. It's all right. I think I do it. Yeah, I think somebody needs to take Somebody needs to grab a rudder of this ship and start moving I don't know why hello everyone Classic classic Somebody needs to grab a rudder of this ship and start moving us in the right direction. Hello everyone. Hello, it's a classic start. It's a good start. Hello, Anja.

Thank you for joining us for Beef Brothers Colquets. Thank you for having me. I was just taking a sip there. I know. What happened there is Tom said, Tom sort of said, I'll start things off and immediately threw back to you. You thought, oh, this is a good time to take a little detail and have a super water.

I'll hydrate myself. Nothing worse when you listen to a podcast than somebody hasn't taken a super water-started talk and you can hear the little of them. I have such a dry mouth. And in the first ever short film, I did, OK, Bragg straight off the back. Yeah, I was going to say, oh my god.

I was going to try my mouth and slide the way when I won my first Oscar What what a humble brag It was the sequel to my left. Oh, he was called my dry mouth, wasn't it? It's about the plant of a young lady. That was very dry mouth. Is this a press junk it for your Pivot into the subject of your short films. Oh, Maconna, he would be proud. He, like, absolutely professional. Tell us about your short films, aren't you?

No, all I was going to say was in the first ever short film I did out of two and there could be more to come, keep your eyes peeled. Was the sound guy kept telling me to take a sip of water because my mouth is getting too claggy and the camera guy kept telling me to dab my face because my face was getting too shiny so there's a little insight into the life of a woman for you three. Your mouth doesn't produce a liver but your face does. It's not coming out of my forehead, yeah. What was the name of your first short film? No actually, it's so embarrassing. No I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I's not that many people listening to it. Okay, well the film was called the 56 year old boy. Oh, have you ever heard of a film title more short film than that? It's perfect. It's got everything it needs. It's got a number that's old and the word boy. and in that gap is a world of intrigue. I'm immediately hooked. I'm perspiring. Why face it? How did you get the role of the boy? You wouldn't be the immediate first person I'd cast if I was cast in the 56 year old boy. No, I was actually, well, I thought I was paying the love interest, but on, sort of after I looked at the comments on YouTube YouTube I think I might have been playing the daughter. Wow! There's a suitable grey area! There's a suitable grey area! I need another seat! No one here has come to my feet!

No one here has clacked up! Cheap buzz! Yeah, anyway! And you and I do some work together writing around like promotions for films and things like famous that you're the 56 year old boy I Didn't want to say but I've made a couple of short films Haven't made any of them I've only starred in them. Thank you very hard of course the keyword there is stars not the titular role But you started Just the character The character does, but yeah,

still the start. Tell us, Annie, what's your current flat share situation? Who do you live with? My flat share situation is that I am in a flat share with a lovely man called Harry. We've lived here since Saturday, and it's Thursday. Oh wow. Hot off the press. Ran, ran to the wow hot off the press ran

press and into the flat chair and how are you all unpacked oh yeah no I'm not this sort of person I'm unpacked I really like it I am like quickly coming to terms with the fact that like I don't know what I'm bringing to the flat share table because oh god, so Harry, so he is a director. He also frames pictures. Oh, no, we've spoken about this before. There's a lot of money about this. Picture frame.

Absolutely, racket. Absolutely, racket. You can get the inside scoop on this. What's he charging all that money for? So any bits of wood, is it? Well, yeah, but the thing is, is that they get stuck together and if you're lucky, a bit of pain whacked on there as well. Right.

Well, here's the thing, he's picked two careers. He's picked the career of the amateur filmmaker and the framer. One, where you make way too much money and one where you lose a lot of money. So he's pretty much, you know, he's cancered himself out. He's cancered himself out. I still can't get over how expensive it is. Both of his jobs involved in mostly doing that all day. That's a great thing for a pub cup.

Tom took his penis out there for some reason. That was a wine style and piece of cultural commentary. Yeah, that was exactly what it was. We're very sophisticated actually. And he's also really cooked. That's the other thing I should mention. This guy's a real catcher, a flatmate. Yeah, and then there's me. And yeah, so what's... Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well You start to be so aggressive with that. I'm asking myself the same thing.

If you're not going to be aggressive with yourself, I'm afraid somebody has to be, all right? Okay, I actually know what I am bringing, and that is a darling little boy cat. Oh, you've got a cat. It's all coming together. What's the cat called? He's called Otis.

Great name for a cat. Thank you, really proud of it. And how long have you had Otis for? I got him. I got him the night after I slept with my ex in June. Okay, could he just say June? I noticed. It's a good story. it's a good story.

And I was doing things related. No. Is it like, did you, was it having slept with your ex and then you woke up and you were like, oh God, I need to get a cat. Can I just ask you, yes, wasn't an older cat, was it? And you gave birth to your ex. Please tell me that's not a situation. I was like, I need, I need to be less emotionally dependent on other people.

So can you leave? I'm going to go get a cat now, sort of vibe. And I did and it solved it. It solved the problem. You've had your... You're no longer hook it up with your ex. Yeah, I haven't had feelings for other humans You swap feelings for feelings lovely stuff Now we're up and running Should we crack on with some of the emails that the listeners have sent? Here we go.

So, Harry, do you want to start us off, please? Yes. Yes. Wine beef from Ralph. Rafe, from Rafe. Rafe? That's right. Fine.

Is it right now? R-A-P-H. So it's spelled like... That's a tie-way dub left here. It's a tie-way dub left here. It's in there twice. I mean, and it's his name. So let's assume that... Let's assume this guy's called himself his own name.

Without a fuckin' up at the first hurdle. Tie-pull on the birth certificate. Could be, yeah, it could be a life long typo. And, wra- wra- wra- wra- wra- wra- getting touch. I'm tall of our names, just life long typos. Wine Beef from Wrath via Papi's FlatShare at gmail.com. Getting touch rafted, we got the name wrong. Hello, Papis.

Hello. Long time, listen up, first time beefer. The way we like it. No, the beef revolves around a shared space, specifically, the fridge. I had recently purchased a cheap bottle of wine, which me and my girlfriend had consumed half of. Just a couple of glasses of dinner kind of thing.

We left the rest of the bottle of wine for the next day. However, I'm out already. What are you doing? How are you doing? Why is this? I'm off and on. I'm off and on. One of my flatmates, let's call him Mikey, had consumed the rest of the bottle of wine

without asking. But left a note apologising and saying that he would replace it, which he did the next day. This is all so far non beefy, toads. A new bottle of actually slightly less cheap wine was sitting in the fridge, which me and my girlfriend intended to drink later. Lovely. The beef begins at the point where me and my golf and went to drink the new wine but found that our housemate had drunk half of the bottle. Leaving the other half for us. Now strictly speaking. Totally fair. He's done exactly what he said he would do. And he's upgraded. He's totally fair. He's done exactly what he said he would do.

And he's upgraded you. He's giving you a slight nice bottle of wine. He's replaced half of a bottle of wine with another half of bottle of wine. However, it was my initial understanding that he was just replacing the full bottle. Due to having drunk the first half without asking, am I in the wrong for expecting a full bottle in return? Oh, is that my own arrogance shining through? My other housemates, Leo and Donnie, are split on the issue, hang on, is this the turtles?

I think that's what he's gone for actually. Yeah, that's what he's gone for. I was gonna say, so it's Raphael, Mikey, and Donnie have done it. Nice, okay, my other housemates are split on the issues Please help me puppies. Should I just call it an even draw or should I expect more compensation? I mean this isn't one of my favorite beefsteaks. It's a really strong one isn't it? It's really good. She's everyone Right well Well well well, well.

And you're what your initial thoughts? My initial thoughts are grow the fuck up. I know, I know, but about the, about the speech, that's alright. Are you talking to the Philips? Yeah. You can't do the lies. I've just read the script for the first time, it's really got something to do. My only... My only...

My only daddy, I don't know what that means, I can be one of two things. I think my initial thoughts are, is that in this story, I identify it way more with the pettiness of drinking half a bottle of wine that you're replacing. I've definitely been that flat mate in the past, and for anyone listening in adjacent rooms, I'm not that flat mate anymore. I'm really lovely girl. It's early days for you to be doing this podcast,

actually, isn't it? If you're on new flat mate, listen to this. In the first week, can it start to think, oh no. Yeah, it's dangerous, Taranty, but that's my commitment. How did you meet Harry, by the way, just a little tangent? How did you meet Harry?

How long have you known Harry for? I met him maybe when I was like 15. It's a really long story. It's probably not that interesting. I used to be a YouTube superstar. Ah, right. And he's another, he's like another sort of a PewDiePie figure. Sure, I'm trying!

He's not, I'm not trying! Oh, you have 56 year old boys. One of these PewDiePie type. Right. Were you an influencer? I was actually Tom, thanks for all. I got a few, a product sent to me once in a while and all I had to do was just pop them up on my gram and you were a vine star weren't you?

I was on the vine, yeah I withered on the vine unfortunately. You drank half of it first in there. Sorry, so you were a YouTube superstar. I was a YouTube superstar at all. I just did it because like I didn't really have that many friends at school and so I thought a really cool thing to do would be trying to get someone like and I saw loads of people doing it. I saw loads of men doing it who were boys, very mostly and I saw them doing it and was like that's that can't be that hard and I saw them doing it and was like, that's, that can't be that hard.

Which is also how I started comedy. I'm saying, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going,

I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going,

I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, I'm just going, friends on their home still in touch with and yeah it's a it's a nice story of the positive side of the internet. What was your name on the internet? What was your YouTube name? It was Anja Mags. Anja Mags and what happened? How many did you have like thousands of subscribers? I think I had they're going down now because I don't post they they I don't know who's going out of their way to be like well she doesn't post it so don't know who's going out of their way to be like,

well she still hasn't posted so I'm actually going to unsubscribe now. I think they're around like 26,000 in the heyday. That's like a small stadium. Yeah and I did all my videos in a small stadium. It was a rally actually. I should say this is right wing YouTube. Oh yeah, I want to need to all right people, like a PewDiePie figure, yeah. I was the sort of right wing YouTuber for the Galboss generation. Right, everything about that, don't understand any of it, but love it. So, so, so yeah, so again, you don't want to, you know, you don't harry for a while through the YouTube channels, but you don't want to suggest that you're a bad person, but... No, I'm not at all.

What you're proving to this is that you're, you can be a petty person. I can be and I think, I think I've had like kind of bad fracture situations in the past which have been a bit beefy and when that side of me gets brought out I would rather than like have a confrontation based face I'd always rather do something like drink half a bottle of wine and leave it but I think the crucial thing in that story is that it was nice and wine, right? Yeah. So that's not even half, I'd say round that up to three quarters.

I, it is nice. I'm 100% with you on that one, and I think if it's an also... I'm also a bit of bottle of wine and you're still getting half a bottle, you're up there. You think of the accuracy of it is. They left you the same half of wine that they owed you. It's not like you've had the top of the wine twice. Do you know what I mean? That's right. That's a very good point.

It's not like you have the top of the wine and then you put it in the and then you went to go and get it and it had gone. And it's like, oh, it's like, he, they sorted it so that you owe, you completed your bottle. Yeah. But swapping in a better bottle half way through. I think essentially what it comes down to is, are you a bottle half full or a bottle half empty kind of person? Exactly, Clarky, yes. I think it comes down to Rafe expecting too much from life and he needs to adjust his expectations a little bit If it's real

If you know if he's real name was Rafe I would I'd 100% back you on that. I think yeah Most people called Rafe. I've had it way too easy for way But I'm not feeling like it's a part of his name I'm gonna say this though right that does Does there have to be as someone who in previous how shares have done my fair share of getting in late, eating something from the fridge with the promise of I'll buy it back tomorrow. I mean, is there a tax like that, that's what we're getting down to is you came in, you helped yourself to someone else's thing. As a tax, you know, like, is the unwritten rule

you replace it whole and go, look, that's, I took that from you without asking, I replaced it in full. Like, surely that is the... That's our soul tax. That's, you know, like, that is, it never's arsehole tax. That's... You know, like that is... It never said how we drank it. He butt-junked it.

You know what? You can keep the other half of the bottom one. LAUGHTER I think that sort of rule, that arsehole tax, I feel like if I had someone do that to me, then yes, I would want the asshole tax to apply, but if I was doing it, someone else I actually think maybe not. Right, so you don't ever want to admit

that you're being the asshole, but you're happy to point the finger elsewhere. Yeah, that's an absolute question. That's good, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this, if someone eats your last egg, and then they say, I'll get you some back and they just give you an egg. Right, do you not think because they ate your last egg, you want a box of eggs.

I mean, it is quite funny to get someone one egg. I think that's better than getting. Half a bottle of wine, like here's the thing, if they ate half an egg, then they gave you half an egg. That's the trick, yeah. That the thing is, the second you, like, it's a bit like, you know, it's a bit like, what's that thing they say?

It like loses 10 grand as soon as you drive off the fork or with a car. An egg. The second you open a bottle of wine, the oxygen's hitting that wine, it's gonna get better, but then worse, right? That's a good point, actually, because if you're in a restaurant and they were like, do

you want half a bottle of wine, you'd expect it to be like, let's, then half the price. Yeah, you'd be like, you'll have it for like a quid or something, you're not charging me the full 12 quid for. Crossbow, when you said it hits the oxygen and then gets better but gets worse, that's how I feel about everything I say. It's better than it's out of my mind, but it's worse than it's the other people's minds. It has this fleeting moment of, this is amazing and then people hear it and then the reality has to kick in.

Everything you say doesn't age well. That's what I'm saying. Bless you. Thank you for the first one. Are you going cancelled, Tom? Constantly. Constantly. Constantly cancelled with this lot.

I might dig up some of the old tweets. Can't please don't. It was a different time! So. It was earlier this morning guys. I can't be held to this evening standards. It was the morning. It was the morning after I had sex with my ex. Come on. Right, socks. I'll buy you the back. I'll buy you the back. I think basically, are we all siding with the person who replaced the wine? We are, aren't we?

It's tricky because I think so. The thing is, I think it's kind of fine, but I wouldn't do it. So then, yeah, I think that's true, but I appreciate Mikey's Hutzper. Mikey is the person I'd like to be if I didn't have a conscience yeah I think and maybe and maybe you know they the younger as a younger person maybe if you're like

okay where's this guy that's valuable wine you know like a bottle of wine it's like I don't want to just I can't just go I, I'm going to be saying wine, willy-nilly. Because they're younger. Well, it means a bit more when younger, didn't it? Did wine. Yeah. That's right. Famously, no, I'll be there into wine.

Wine. Wine is wasted on the young, that's what they say. LAUGHTER I know, you're a representative here for Gen Z. How do you, Gen Z, feel about why? Is it currency? Is it the new Bitcoin? Can you buy whiners in NFT? I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is either. Okay, I'll just really ask about NFTs. Come on, I've done rig, so pink. Kings of't know what that is either. Okay, I'll just really ask about NFTs. Come on, don't rig. Things of, Kings of Leon have just released an album as an NFT. Have they? Yeah. Oh my God.

Okay, right. Well, in which case, it's time to jump ship on the NFT. So, anyway. As a young, I'm like in that stage of my life now where I still have a lot of residual, um, don't laugh at me for so much. I've had a lot of residual, don't laugh at me for so much. I've had a lot of residual, like student mentality of still wanting to buy the really cheap stuff

and not being able to upgrade. Another thing Harry has going for him is that he's really into wine and he's the wine. He's hungry. He sounds amazing. Is there any chance you'd go knock on and we could swap him out?

LAUGHTER Or if I could just swap with you, cool stuff. It's fitting for the wine story, actually. Just swap that cheap bottle of wine for a slightly better bottle of wine, awful. Oh, you know what? I felt like I was saying close to the wind by saying what I said. But Tom, you've really helped me out there mate.

That's a classic, Harry, comment. Holy, young woman, a cheat. Horror, I think, is what you said. God, I don't got a shami there, but it's getting very warm in here. Just getting very warm in here. Whoa! Um. I can just say now that the opinions of this podcast, you know, we're reflecting the opinions of this podcast.

So, I think, I think we've got a side with Mikey here. Sorry, Raf, you've got your half bottle of wine back. As long as you drank it before it went to Vinegary. You're fine. And it's a nice bottle of wine back. It's not like you drank it before it went to Vinnigry. You're fine, and it's a nice bottle of wine. I think that's beef solved. Here from the starting I can be beef solved. ACS powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend.

Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcast.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. acast.com. creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. A-guess.com This email is titled, the naked drawing display dilemma beef from Laura. Hello. That's great. Dear puppies and the guests, I have a dilemma regarding some art I commissioned.

I'm a fat lady and proud of it. Shout out to the Instagram body positivity slash body neutrality people who shaped my thinking on this. In fact, I am so proud of it that I commissioned an artist to draw me naked. It was a bit surreal, sending news to a stranger, but hey, he did a fantastic job. It's a beautiful drawing, and my big belly is lovingly on display. I really love the drawing and I want to display it in my flat, but it is after all a naked drawing of me. So at the moment I don't know where to put it or how to address it with visitors. I'm a pretty open-minded person when it comes to nudity and that kind of shabang, but I know not everyone is. I know not everyone is. I know not everyone is. I know everyone is. I know everyone.

You really hit that beautifully, honestly. I was like, I'm a big fan of you. It was like we had Derek Jacka be reading for a second now. I really was. I was transported back to, you know, speaking of NFTs, you could, you could, you could work at the NFT, you really could. I know not everyone is.

It's not at all a sexual drawing, but unfortunately I don't want people to, I lost it there, didn't I? No, no, not at all. Don't worry. Don't get inside your own head. I won't. I hate it that. Okay.

I don't want people to think that I only have it on display to show off my naked body in that way. I don't mind explaining that it's me, but I don't to come across like I'm shoving it in people's faces. I live on my own and at the moment it's on a high shelf in my spare room. Obviously in these Covid non-visitation times it's not too much of a dilemma yet. Any thoughts and ideas on how to display it and how to broach the subject would be much appreciated, greetings Nora. Okay Nora, well firstly the first question we have to ask is do you need to get it framed? If so, how do you make traits?

Sorry, I'm going to do that. Harry's good for it you know, honestly. He'll do you make traits and if you want him to film you nude he's happy to do that as well. If you want to very carefully. Very carefully done. Very carefully done by Lea Ma. Yeah absolutely. Harry's your man. Have a nice bottle of wine. So, here we go. I have displayed pictures of myself nude. That's on the internet though, Tom, that's different. And that's really, I'm trying to get people to see your DMs.

At the first time, I got cancelled. No, so, I took a self-portrait of me in the bath, and, admittedly, you can't see anything, but it's just like my legs and feet, and I took it like from point of view. And I've displayed that in every bathroom that I have had, lived in ever since I was like 20. So, like, I feel like I- So, you just imagine the particles living like I feel like I just imagine the particles living on that's just imagine that the I mean if you're on your

microscope you'd see you'd see planets I mean it's not a color photo it's Seapier is in leaking. It's much seapier than it was to begin with. There are some jo- Harry's not- Harry wouldn't talk to that one. He definitely won't wear full PPE for that if he had to come and bring that. Absolutely, it's disgusting. I've got a bit of paper that I've put in. Every time I've taken a shit, I've taken it with it into the same room. And would you like to look at it now? Because that's what you get if you move in with Perry.

I feel so sorry for Nora that you're trying to draw a comparison between this and how lovely it is. She's had some body positive art commission and you're talking about your little ship rag. Perry, but God's sake mate. Oh don't worry I've got a little piss platter you can talk about. Parry for goodness sake mate. Oh man, look, I'm just saying this is the bathroom. The bathroom is a burdock. The bathroom is a burdock, hasn't it? I'm going to, I'm going to drop it. I could take a pick, drop it and we could put it on the show notes next to when you're short.

We're not, we're not putting that curse damage up on the show notes. That's no way. Well, that's the 40 year old boy. It is my 40 year old boy. No, quick. Absolutely no. There's no way. Harry, you know they keep talking about the new variant. new variant. I'm a feeling that the next new variant is going to spring out of your barcmate. Oh man that's pretty tickled me. Well look anyway all I'm saying is the bathroom isn't a bad display for it because your your friendlier visitors use your bathroom. Your cold callers don't necessarily use your bathroom. Your cold callers don't necessarily use your bathroom. Good call. It's a coldest that we use any of you. What are you doing?

No, no. Is that a parcel? Come on in. Come on in. Come on in. You're going to get them about to do me. Anyway, open the bathroom. You're in other roles. Can I get your fingerprint on this phone?

I'm like, I'm saying this. You're matey of friends will use your bathroom, right? It's kind of a sign of endearment, isn't it, when you're around someone you like takes, you use their bathroom. The bathroom. I saw it. Yeah, intimacy. I like you so much.

I'm going to shit into youring. I like you so much on the shitty TV. Yeah, I like you so much. We'll have a shower. That holds up, that holds better. But like the bathroom is a place where, you know, bodies are kind of, so it's less, it's less like, it's less in your face.

It's less in your face. You know, it's kind of a place where nudity happens and things like that. So it's on theme for the bathroom. So I would recommend hanging it in the bathroom because the visitors who are familiar enough to use your bathroom will see it. It feels of a place.

It doesn't feel like I'm sticking above my mantelpiece. I want you to see me nude. Pary, I'm gonna go one step further than that. I think it's a good start. Well, I think you've picked the wrong room. I think the bedroom is the most intimate room in the house. So if you're invited, for example, our postman used our bathroom, right? Because he was on his round. He didn't have anywhere to go at the Lou. And he was like, do you mind if I do it up against the side of your car? And I said, actually, she's coming to the house. So, her last yard, she's a very polite man. But, so I think the people I allow into the bedroom

are even more rarefied than the people I allow into the smallest room in the house. They do it too far. Just the... The Amazon guy. The milk he's been in, yeah, of course he has. You know what the Amazon guy says? Can I take a picture of this to prove he's living in the... Oh, yeah he has. You know, in the Amazon guy says, can I take a picture of this to prove it?

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what, you don't even know the whole way. Can I take this one? Can you wanna make sure he's on? She's protecting your modesty. I don't think enough people will go in the bedroom. I think the bathroom's like, the happy medium. I say, so you want people to see it, but I think the right people go to the bedroom.

I think Nora wants people to see it as well. No, no, no, yeah, I think you're right. I think the right people go into the bedroom. It's not, I think the step into the bedroom is definitely, you're definitely mates. It's not going to be, it's not, the kind of people who would let into the bedroom it's not going to weird them out. And if that's Nora's worry, if that's her anxiety, then I think that's it.

How are you getting your mates into your bedroom in a way that's not coming up and look at this picture? Come and have sex. I mean, I guess if you're having a, you have to start having sex though, your friends just to get them to see this photo. No, not a weird room. No, not a weird room. If there's people around your house, if they're around your house and you're

doing the tour, you show them into the bedroom. And the beds quick nap. Exactly. To be sure. If there's a party, if there's a party. I bet I beat your flat. Harry's doing really well on most framing, isn't it? But if it's a party, you know, the, you know, your friends would come into your bedroom and hang out, you know, I think that's, I feel like it's a more intimate room than the bathroom. I really, it's too intimate for my wife. You don't think enough people are going to get a chance to see it. Exactly, yeah. I think you want, I think part of what Norris after is.

I think the kind of people who are going to sit in your bedroom, the kind of people who you would say anyway, look at this picture of me naked. Yeah. Whereas I think the people who are seeing it in the bathroom are going, oh wow, look at that, that's a beautiful body on display. Hang on a minute, if that might be the woman news by something shit in here. I don't know, but it's like that, like, you know it's slightly better than those in this woman.

For fucking my inner battery. Help! The opening sequence is sore. And I saw a picture. The opening sequence is sore. I saw a picture. What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever been painted or been drawn? I feel like I want to say yes because that sounds really cool and impressive, but I don't

think I have. But if anyone wants to, no problem, I'll be there. Ready to teach you. Great. Just knock on the old door, we'll go to the bedroom. It can only be a short portrait though, isn't it? You only make shorts, you know, it's got to be a fine... You'll be wearing shorts. You'll be wearing shorts. I'll be wearing shorts.

I like the idea of the bathroom, but my worry is, and I do worry about this, is the bathroom too small and wet. Even if you've got a good frame, like for my friend Harry, Harry's friends on Instagram, why am I probably someone else instead of me? Yeah, bleak that out. I think he's called Harry, he makes frames, we can work out what he's got. I just think like in in my bathroom at least and I know that's not what the question is, but I can't think of a wall that would go on because most like

Stamp and you don't want it to you don't it's a run do you? I guess if it's a treasured if it's a treasured Artistic artifacts, which it sounds like it is you know You want to keep it in a room that's it's not gonna get down. Okay, I've got a toilet that isn't a shower room as well. Would you play a battle? Like a downstairs bathroom or something that might just be a toilet keep going. I think I've got a new, I've got a new take on this

that might solve our problem. Okay. I think the thing that Nora might be wanting to avoid is that feeling of sitting with someone looking at it whilst you're sat next to them looking at it. I think it needs to be somewhere where there's movement involved. I think a whole way of landing or on the stairs already. Oh yeah, that's in my personal opinion. It's a windscreen of your car. The wind's swinging in your car. LAUGHTER

Buff, here's the twist facing Inwood. Yes, it's very clever. On the stairs is my new pitch for that, because people will get to enjoy it, but you're never going to be next to them sitting there just looking at it. Imagine trying to have a conversation with someone, and you know that in their online is you and a picture of you nude and they're having to process all of those things whilst talking about your holidays.

It is very difficult because I can't help but picture where I live for it, which I imagine you'll do in. So for me, the stairs. I bet you're all picture in class at the moment. For me, the stairs, it's a joint area. It's a bolt. It's almost as bold as the car. I'd say a whole way or a stairs. Somewhere where there's passing involved.

Well, again,'s passing involved. Well, again, that passing involved in the old. Yeah, that's exactly. So I think that's the answer, hallway or stairs. I don't think it's a bad solution. I like that. The only thing with hallway is, it's the first thing you see. It's bold material to be opening with.

Right, it is. It's strong material to lead with. The other thing as well is, if you're, you know, if, for example, you've got a naughty step in your house, it adds a whole new dimension to the naughty step, doesn't it? It makes the naughty step really naughty. No, I'm only messing around, no it's not. It's not smut. I have a quick thought, if I may.

Yeah, of course you may. If you have money to get a portrait of yourself commissioned, you must live in a palace. So hang it up in one of the sort of chamber room, no, that's toilet, isn't it? Hang it up in one of the entertainment rooms. Or you'll definitely have a few always knocking around. The billiard room, yeah, the billiard room.

Yeah, the billiard room. We definitely want to put people off their game a little bit. Above the wall. The other thing I was thinking is you could, you know, again, in going back to that kind of the idea of the palace, you know when the Queen unveils something, perhaps you could have a little curtain made with a bit of string that you could, you know, it could be the next step of friendship.

So you're sitting in the room, they'll go, oh, what's that little curtain up there? You know, up above your mantelbeast, you go, I don't worry about that, it's just there when I moved in. And then, you know, a couple of glasses of wine later, you go, you know what, I think we're fast friends now. Pull a little string, and there's a new picture of you. And if you want to go one step further, you can have a little string on your clothing that opens up your clothing. That's the next step of the, you know, your little jerk in comes apart. You're making a mirror is what you're doing. Exactly.

Exactly right. It's not a bad idea. I don't think that's a bad idea at all. I'm not beef solved. Yeah, beef solved. Beef from the starting of your beef solved. Rubbish dumping beef from Callum via Papi's flat sheet at gmail.com. I'm gonna touch.

Hi, touch. I would like to remain anonymous all day. I mean, you could call me Callum. Okay, fine, fine. Callum. That's fine, yeah, yeah, I think. I'd like to remain anonymous, but I've given you a pseudonym. So that's fine. Great.

Um, I live in a student flat on the top floor of a Glasgow Tenement building. Oh, I love those buildings. Lovely. We have to go there at the end of the night. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's one of those, those, the stone buildings in Scotland. If you're staying up at the Edinburgh fringe and you've hired one of those,

you've rented one of those places and you know, when you get them on the first day and you realize you're on the seventh floor and you think, I'm gonna be coming back at 4 a.m. pissed out of my mind. I'm gonna be straight synopsing up your props on the first day. Oh yeah, there's all, it's all great news.

The flyers have arrived. That's our, the flats. Oh, and it, you know, it's all right, there's only 50 boxes, and the only way each one of them weighs a ton. Oh great. God, I miss it. Yeah, I know.

The worst bit of that is lugging them back down again at the end, because you've only given away a third and find a big, find a big, yeah, I know. Yeah, and the worst thing is, we were in a glass, go tenement building our first print, weren't we? So, I only was at a long work third and find a big, find a big, find a big one. Yeah, I know. And the worst thing is, we were in a Glasgow tournament building our first print, weren't we? So I only was at a long work up and down the stairs.

It was even longer walk to the venue. Look, I'm getting rid of many flyers. LAUGHTER Right. Yes, Kalim goes on. Yeah. We have one flatmate, Let's call him Jim. Who is too lazy to take the rubbish from his room to the kitchen bin?

Let alone all the way downstairs and through the shared garden to the bin area by the back lane However He appears to have started lobbing his rubbish from his bedroom window. Oh, Jim! Oh, Jim! Oh, Jim! Jim is red! Um, over the shared garden and into the general direction of the bins, with mixed success in terms of hitting his target, that's the problem with that, say, I was definitely

like, Jim, what the fuck are you doing? But if you, if the first time it occurs to you, you get it in the bin. You're gonna be hard pushed not to try every time. Yeah. What's happened here is Jim's seen that Michael Jordan documentary, isn't he? He's watched that over lockdown, he's thought, anyone could do that, right thought anyone could do that right?

Anyone could do that Course jump shot spinning jump shot Jump if you try to get it through the window Myself but we still doesn't end up in the garden. We don't know who's doing it But we assume it's Jim because he's currently lying in the garden with his back broken. Right, okay. So, the first we found out about this was when an angry neighbour pushed a load of moldy orange peels through the letterbox with a note telling us to stop throwing things out the window. No, Jim, bad. Jim denies that it's him, but it's only his room and mine, which I've looked at the gardens.

So I know for sure who it is, it's also totally in his character, in character for him. I suspect he also pieces out of the room. That's a problem. Oh, Jim, you're rotten. Jim, you're rotten. Where's your toilet? Is that town in the garden as well? There's one of these.

It seems to be one of these every show, but we've got to push the move out button, right? Have a way. If you've got someone who's got no piss turrets coming down the side of the... We should clarify, though. The people is a bethunt. LAUGHTER That might explain a lot.

If he's a lizard bethent then you kind of have to let him off, don't you really? Pissed in the gut, ordering turkeys from his bedroom window. We have confronted him, but he has lied to our faces. How can we stop him from being a filthy disgusting pig? Thank you, Callum from Glasgow. Thank you, Callum. Bloody hell, how do you stop him? Well, this one's interesting,

because this isn't about, this isn't a who done it. It's a what now, don't it? What? What? What? That's a good short film, gentlemen, Tom, I like it. It's someone walking down the carriage of the Orient Express, going, right, I stabbed him, what do I do now, Pluron? Help me out, mate.

So it's not like, it's not a question of whether he's guilty or not, but it's like, what's the prevention for filthy gym? Well, it is a question of, no, no, yeah, but it's drawing him out of himself. It's getting the admission of guilt that we need. So what you've got to do is you've got to catch him at it. You need to create some sort of, right, either you need to put, right, now,

you know the old prank that people play right when they when they would put cling film over the toilet seat. Oh, I wouldn't notice. Sorry, back in. You need to basically do something like that just over the window, right? So when you when you you see him going up with his with his orange is his dirty little orange is that he's going to go in his bedroom dirty gym that was orange. He's going to turn into pure piss. Pissed me out of the orange piss. It's a tank, old tango piss gym. Old tango piss himself. Yes.

Honestly, I'll absolutely curl my photographing. No tango piss. So when you see him going up there, what you want is to be out, you know, you've put something over the window, some sort of little, you know, cling film would work, I don't quite know how you'd attach it, you have to look at that. When you film the window, it was exactly my idea, it was like cling film the window. It throws it out, it flies back in his face, you hear him going, er, you run in, you go right Jim, why are you lying on the floor with orange peel over your face?

It's because you're the one, you're the fountain throw, we know it's you. You've got to cut your face. It's because you're the one, you're the fountain throw, we know it's you. You've got a good pitch. It's handed in the face. It's handed exactly, yeah. Even worse if it goes for the pitch as well. You know, that's what you want. A little bit of cling film under the window that's just going to spray it straight back at him. Nail the window shut.

Nail the window shut. And the door. Chop off his hands. Just, just, just, no, he lim in. Bricking into his room. Bricked the bastard in. Like, like Thomas the tank, like, was it Henry and Thomas the tank engine who bricks himself into the tunnel? Oh, yeah, I think so, I think they're bricked in.

I don't think he bricks himself. That was the one where the reference said, J.G. Ballard, you can write one if you want. And he's like, oh, I think some are, I think they're bricking. I don't think you've bricked himself. That was the one where the reference said, JG Ballard, you can write one if you want. And he's like, oh, I've got quite a good idea. Did he bricked himself? I thought he bricked it. I thought it was self-imposed, and he bricked himself. They don't have a poseable thumbs to they, yeah.

It's how they bricking. They don't have faces, either, mate. It's something that I can't say. Yeah, but then we does have a face, but he doesn't have opposable thumbs, right? He definitely has a face. All he could possibly do is speak to some people coming, you know, what, how hard carrier come over here

and brick in the, you know, I don't think he could brick him in himself. Anyway, that's, what? Henry's not on trial. Yeah, okay, nail his door on his window shut and then see how the fucking likes it. I think it's a first pop, pop, nail his door on his window shut and then see how the fucking likes it. I think it's a first pop cool. Yeah, clean through, does it work?

Clean through, right? The first round is ed. Rackling from round is ed. And nail his door shut. The other thing you could do is you could, and this is a bit creepier, but you could, now I'm interested, you could, you could put set up a camera by the by the bins pointing up towards the windows, which I know is not really sort of, it's not really on, but it is your own proper one. If we only we knew somebody who lives with a filmmaker. Get Harry in. Oh yeah. And then Harry can frame him.

Yes. Oh, it all fits together. You've been framed. Oh my god. Harry's the answer to one of our problems. Okay, I'm also here still. What? Who's that?

Be soft. Be from the starting, I can be soft. So, Annie, have you got, I mean, it's early doors to say with Harry. I've got one. You've got one. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

He's going to be hard getting us to side with you because you know how much we love Harry. No, it's not with him. It's not with him. It's not with him. Okay, of course it is. It's all with him. It's all with him. And also, like, his role in this story also is perfect

for everything I've told you about him so far. So I moved in here on Sunday, so like four days ago, and I feel like this is a two pronged, this has two prongs to it. I feel like the neighbors, yeah. The neighbors are already not a fan of me for two reasons. The first reason, and there's no other way to say this, is that I accidentally

punched through a window. Okay, all right. Were you try to throw your orange peel into the bin? Talk us through how you punch through a window. Take a click film with a glass. Did you think it was click-filled? You're not filming me that easy. There are a click-off. No, so basically, it hasn't been lived in for a while, and a lot of the doors and stuff don't close properly, and a lot of the windows don't open properly, but some of them paint shut.

Have you broken into a flash? Yeah, I'm scratching! Okay, now it makes sense. And so, basically, what's happening, I just had my morning shower if I can be so bold and I was like this room's a little steamy I'm gonna open up the window Started pushing it my fist just went straight through the window And I was like the apocalypse now. Did you? Yeah, my first thought was I'm so fucking cool No, did you? Yeah, my first thought was I'm so fucking cool.

That's the most badass thing I've ever done in my life. That's brilliant. And I only had one cut. I got away with just that, which isn't that bad. That's not too bad. No, no, no. And it's holding up a severed finger there, should I say?

No. No. But the problem is that that goes on to a shared garden with all the other neighbours. So they just saw lives of like glass. Which isn't that bad, but then the guy who came to fix it got into beef with the other neighbours because he parked in one of their parking spaces and used one of their chairs to re-glace the window. He should use glass.

I'm just like a judge straight through. Just say, just say, hardly, just say, protect your own. It's probably a very effective job, but it'll hold, certainly. Harry must have been viewing it, right? He's been done that. He works with glass. Okay, so that was on Tuesday morning. Already a bad start.

Already a bad start. And later on that Tuesday, I was just having a bad day. I was like feeling really tired. So I was just like sitting in my bed, just like lying in my bed. And I had some voices outside the window. My bed is right by the street. And it was these women talking about my cat Otis from earlier in the podcast. You remember him. Of course. Because he was sitting there as well and they were like, yeah, he's got the white

nerves. And basically what's happened is there are loads of missing posters for a missing cat all around my street. And the cat looks really like otis Oh my god And I've just moved in and now people think I've stolen a can I'm banjoing Your cat thief window puncture And these women were like, oh no This was actually like, really insane behaviour from me but I had no other choice

Because I was lying in my bed, I sat up to see them outside my window. So they were like faced with like, a pop-up human. You look like the undertaker went like... DONG! Unfortunate call! Unfortunate in sitting up, you smashed your head through the window, didn't you? Right, straight through the window, straight through the window, your chair fell off.

The chair, like the under the cake, under the take a word. And so, I like, one of them came to the door and I was like, look, it's not my cat. No, I said it's my cat. That's quite an incriminating thing to say. That's your first mistake. You said it's not my cat and you smashed a pain of glass over the head in right away.

You're gonna do about it. So I said, look, I know they look really similar but like I've just moved in, it's my cat, fuck off. No, and the thing is, is that the woman who is there have been told by another woman and neither of those two women are the owners of the cat. They just like all know each other, so I get the feeling there's like a real tight-knit community vibe around here. And they're not friends with me. But the twist of this is, is that they all love Harry. Of course they love Harry. Of course they love Harry.

And of course they love Harry. Of course they love Harry. He's great. One of them's been fucking gardening our front, like we've got a little flower bed out front. And when he got here before me, when he got here, she was in the flower bed like gardening. And she was like, oh yeah, I've just been looking after it

while I was living here. He's had a lovely chat with her. He's had a lovely chat with the other one who's chair I've used. I'm the villain of the peace. And I don't know how to, how to sort that out. I've got a bold, I think I know what's going on here. I think Harry, I think Harry might be

secretly a sociopath who has put up posters of your cat saying someone's nick this cat. Oh, what? And then he gets to create you as like the villain of the p and then he gets to swan In and be missed a nice guy and then and he framed you Yeah, you know you could see I didn't know anything I'm just gonna ask you a very simple question. I need those those cat posters that are hanging up around the neighborhood Are they framed?

Because he might have given himself away there, that's all. Oh my god. I think we know what's going on. I think we've got to get rid of Harry. Yeah, I think you're right. Kill him. I think you're right. I've got on the journey I think you're right. Kill him. I think you're always on the journey. What a narrative arc. This is like a net.

That's what I think. I think the people have said that about our podcast before. Kill a net as well. Yeah. Yeah. Good. A spree. Go on.

Could you, could you though, train Otis to kill Harry? Because you don't wanna, you know, you don't wanna have blood on your hands, and unfortunately with this podcast going out there's a paper trail. Yes. Leads directly back to you. Just bleep, just bleep me out.

We'll bleep you out, we'll bleep any reference to Harry out. No one will know. And of course, as usual, we'll be bleeping all the top out as well. And it's what we have to do. We should say, we do release his podcast as a newsletter. I'm actually, I've actually heard we can get our podcast framed. Very reasonable rates.

So, I'm a bit of a risk of that. Can you edit me in and post? Yeah, if you want to, you know, just for the rest of the evening, just record yourself saying other things, we'll just pull a patch of it through the show. Yeah, I mean, is there a way of you doing a charm offensive though? Like, do you think you can become, you know, like it's early days, literally, in your relationship with these women. Can you not, can you not, you know, bake something and take it round as a sort of a little apology? Can you not give it by the...

Baked the cat in the back. Exactly, yeah. Bake a little, I mean, the cat's tail sticking out of it. Yeah, but like, you know, half a bottle of wine? Half a bottle of wine, exactly, yeah. I think these, I think you just have to have to really lay it on thick with these guys. Is there also a way of you saying, look, I appreciate this looks a lot like the cat, but... So I sent them a text. They had their number on again. And I sent them a message saying, look, I'm really sorry to hear about your cat. I've just moved in. My cat looks a lot like yours, but there are some crucial differences. I didn't actually say that, but that would be quite harsh and mean, and I'm perfect.

And they haven't replied. Oh my God. Which now makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm rubbing it in their face being like, I've got a cat. I've got a cat. Yeah. And also the crucial difference is my cat's wearing a hat, yours isn't. And they're like, well, actually, you know, you could have popped that hat on the cat recently. Yeah. I know, I know.

If you were going to have that. They really suit him, so could I have hands on that hat? I'm sorry. Something to think about. something to think about? Something to think about. Maybe I lose my cat in solidarity. How attached are you? How attached are you?

You're the big question. You're ex would love to hear you be saying that. I've got way to minute she's ditching the cat. I'd better have a shower What? I'm very, I'm very valid what there It is very good question Yeah We've got a new beef to sell and the beef is what?

What? Say that again Say that again to my face I'm not sure this beef can be solved. Has anyone got a show me leather piece? But no, I think bacon some cakes be really nice to them. Always say hello and you see them and of course have a shower. And kill Harry. Yeah, of course. Kill Harry, that one, sir.

Well, beef solved. You're from the starting, I can be beef solved. Thank you so much, that's perfect. You're more than welcome. And you thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It's been really fun having you on. Thank you for having me. It's been an app.

Have you got any short films coming up? I'm doing a prank on you. Do you want to promote your podcast? So my podcast is coming out soon. It's with, oh God, it's with a Frankled Ari who's a different one, yes and have a time. Okay, it's called the weekly shop and it's where we go through the containers, no, it's where we go through the innards of someone's shopping trolley in an effort to understand their psyche. Oh, that sounds brilliant, That sounds great. Great concept. Strong concept. You've got a strong concept. The execution is to be confirmed. So yeah, the trailers for that is out, but the episodes are currently in the making. Well, we'll stick a link to the trailer in so people can subscribe to you.

Oh, thank you so much. And if people want to subscribe to your YouTube channel, and your mags is it? It's a good time to keep your YouTube channel alive. This might be the second win that it's been... Would you mind if we put this zoom up on your YouTube channel? This is your triumphant.

The unedited zoom of this chat is gonna be your triumphant return to YouTube. It's gonna be an hour and a half long. And it's gonna be full of really incriminating stuff that we've cut out of that short podcast. We're all going to come out of it back. That's the detectives to find it. Exactly.

We've given them none of the clues. Well, thanks so much for coming on the podcast. And yeah, good luck. Thank you. Be from the starting, I can be on the course. Well, there you go. There it was. It was really fun. Yeah, absolutely love that

and you're brilliant. We had a really really fun time with her and if you enjoyed and you want to hear more then get yourself over to our Patreon because over on our Patreon we have got extra bonus beef with some of our recent guests. We've got a brilliant one with Ania that we did. We've just finished recording it now. It was really, really fun. We've got one with Kerry. We've got, in fact, just get over there because we've got loads of ones that we've done on our own. They're all brilliant. Plus, of course, you get the flat share lockdowns as well, which are all available for $5 and above. And yes, and plenty of extra stuff.

I'll tell you something about the, the flat, I'll tell you something about the flat slam lockdown episodes. They really grated on me at first. Yeah. Just couldn't get on board with them, but actually, no, we've done a few of them. Actually quite like them.

You know what? I've just grown up a bit. The pressure to fake laugh was overwhelming there Tom. Yeah. But I think I managed it. Tom. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha episodes. Can we just clarify that here? I don't want to. I've done a jake of sending us an email in a couple of years time ago and even more called he said. But yeah, a Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flat Show. There's a link in

the show notes. There's also obviously a link to our next live show with with Tom and Suzy on the 25th of March. We'll probably put a link into we'll let's put in a link to any short film, right? We'll put it in there of course. Of course we'll. So details of how to see that will be in the show notes as well. Yeah, and follow us in all the usual places and do all the things, you know,

like and subscribe and leave us a review and tell your friends about the podcast and generally, you know, get involved. And if you're about to leave us a review and tell your friends about the podcast and generally, you know, get involved. And if you're about to leave us a bad review, just leave it five or six years and see if you've changed your mind. Take a leave at Jacob's or something. Today's episode was produced as ever by Emma Corsion. Corsion to you.

Corsion to you. Corsion to you. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Oh. See you, cheers everyone! Bye! Oh, come in, take a seat, cross my palm with silver, and get ready for today's Patreon neighborhood watch. A roll call. Oh, I'm seeing.

Yes, I'm looking through the mists of time. And I can see here that this person's a prolific piece of work. Oh, bad news. She stinks. She's really quirk! Stooky. Ah, I've got bad news for you when I look into this crystal ball. You'll be eating a roast dinner in the future.

Oh, but when it comes time to cut the meat, you won't be able to do it. You'll say, I'm unable to carve this. And you'll have to hand the knives to Chris Jarvis. Oh, he does a terrible job. He'll make man absolute pig's ear of that turkey. Many Christmas. You're too thick, Chris. Ah, as I gaze into the crystal ball, I have grave news for you. Your best friend is not a real person. He's a robot man. It's Wesley Roberts.

Would you rhyme in with person or robot man? Robot man. Oh, he is a robot man. He went there and then we went away from it really. I'm looking now and you've got this very thick line that goes all the way along it, but enough about that. Give me that. Oh, bad news. You're going to fall down a well.

And that well is going to be full of shit. And didn't it will also be Chris Bell. Oh, so this is a silver lining. Chris Bell is a good bloke. At least you'll have some company down in the shit well. I'm not alone. Oh, let me tell you all the shit Chris. I'll never tell for I am Chris Bell.

I feel unwell. Oh, it's another gift. A real gift, Chris Bell. If only we could luxuriating Chris Bell's name a little longer. No, we have to move on to the other patriots. Reading your tea leaves, I can tell that very soon you're going to need to have a piss Maybe it's because you drank the tea or maybe it's because you were cursed by Chris Terrible news You thought you were best friends with the lead singer of you to

you were best friends with the lead singer of you to Bono. That's the he is a robot man. You take off his glasses. You'll see he's a robot man called John Hoh. Terrible use. You thought you're watching every union of the Smiths, but wait a minute that robot man's got a cliff It's actually a hologram robot man Powered by Matt Smith Terrible news As I read your tarot cards I Can see that your name is Charlie Moore. Not not normally what carotter cards do, but this time,

they will tell me Charlie Moore. Oh dear terrible news. The woman you love is actually a robot man. It's very well-consum. And he will-consum is a robot man, yes. Terrible news. I haven't got any terrible news to give you. Oh! That's right. You're going to live a happy life. I haven't got any terrible news to give you

That's right you're going to live a happy life. Oh, no, sorry wait a minute. No, no, no I forgot to take a proper look That thing there means your crap and going to die Lucky Tim going to die. Oh, and lucky team. Cuckoo. Your crap. Oh, he's got a move. If you heard the rumor, your crap and going to die. What?

That's a rola coast. Ah, this one, the mood. It means your crap and your crap Your crap and you're going to die To live by I mean it's sort of true of all of us really is Listen up everybody. Listen up everybody. You're crap and you're going to die.

Broodie. Let me tell you now, I'm looking at your tarot cards. We'll put that one aside. That means you're crap and you're going to die. That's a standard. You always get that one. Put that one. Put that one. You will put that one aside that means you're crap and you're going to die that's a standard you always get that one put that one to put you can you can keep that one I share a couple plenty of them I give them out to all of my customers they're my business guard actually if any of your friends want to use my services there you go just go to your crap and you're going

to die dot blog spot dot com all right this is a great time. I should change the URL. Yeah, okay, right. Welcome to Crab's last date. Very high proud you from glad you there. Right, everybody, you are crap. You are going to die and you are going to be hung upon a peg. And that goes for all of you, especially you, Meg, brackets Thompson. Oh, terrible news. Your crap and you're going to die. But how will you die? In the worst way, at the hands of a teenage mutant turtle. Sorry to tell you that, Gary L. R. Turtle! Oh!

Oh! Come in and crack open a fortune cookie. Can't see what I say. I can't quite make it out in this light. But I think it means that you are going to be very good. You'll go, someone's going to drop a large bell on your head and it will be sore. Now I enjoy your egg fried rice, Samantha Bellshore. Samantha Bellshore.

Samantha Bellshore. Now come in here and I've got one of those paper things you do with your fingers that, you know, that goes like that, like what are they called? So pick a number. The pick a number. Pick a colour, one of those ones. Yes. So go? So pick a number. The pick a number. Pick a color, one of those ones. Oh yeah. So go on, pick a number.

Crap. All right, CRAP. Now pick a pick a color. You're going to die. I'm going to die. You are going to die. You are going to die. Oh, I can tell you you're fortunate now. You're going to buy some trousers.

You're going to go commando. It's going to be extremely uncomfortable and scratchy because the trousers are made of purest hemp. Chafed to death hemp Chafed to death To with any chafed to death until there's nothing but nubs below That's right death by hemp for Sid illsly camp You crap mate You crap n. BORN! BORN! BORN! BORN!

BORN! You crap nubs, you crap. Oh dear. I've seen it in the stars. You're going to die at the hands of a robot man. Oh yeah. I think I've got to do better than everybody. The robot man's kind of...

The robot man's kind of far, Mark has it done. Ask not who the robot man comes for, he comes for the... We're all lying in the gutter, some of us are looking up at the robot man. That cacklons. That concludes today's Patreon Paper and Watch Roggle. Oh, and PS, you're crap and you're going to die. Oh, and die, my robot man! Die, die everybody! She's everyone!

Die! She's everyone! DAAAAAAAAY! Whatever that, Uber Eats! Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See out for details.