Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Catherine Bohart S10E16

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Catherine BohartCatherine Bohart - https://twitter.com/CatherineBohartPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to an episode of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. Whoa! Oh! Lovely rambling chat with I guess this week, the fantastic Catherine Boehart. Yes, we met her over Zoom. just in case people are worried that we are meeting up together. Don't worry, we're doing this all over Zoom, but it was fun. We even had

a little guest appearance from her flatmate Sarah Keyworth. Yeah, we felt like one of those cool crossover episodes, you know? Yes! A cameo from a former episode drops in. I liked it. It was a crossover with that with ourselves. Yeah. With the only podcast that would agree to crossover with this podcast. Yes. You see every episode of any show as a crossover with the previous episode, don't you? I'm so glad it's got back. I really struggle with the idea of continuity.

Yeah. Series two succession is a crossover with Series one. The same character's going back. So, yeah, so welcome to the show. Yes, Catherine Boehart is our guest. She's absolutely fantastic. As we mentioned on the podcast, she's got a new podcast out called You'll Do, which you can get from BBC Sounds

and a variety of other places. So check that out. We are also doing extra bonus podcasts over on our Patreon. So thank you to anyone who's joined the Patreon. They'll be a neighborhood watch role court at the end. Anyone who joins the $5 tier or above gets pretty much daily content from us. We do these flat share lockdown episodes, which are really, really fun. Every week we're sticking something out for the duration of the lockdown.

The duration of the lockdown. Who could put their thourish from the lockdown? Boris Cardoff is our next guest. I'd love that. I'd love it as well. Great. It'd be a great crossover. It'd be a huge crossover from the Monster TV.

They don't like monsters. No, they don't. Exactly. Yeah, it's a good, you make a good point. What do, what do vampires like? Blood. You've blood over. So a great blood over with Morris Colour.

Anyway, put that as one side. Every day on the Patreon, Patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's Flak Share, those new episodes. Yeah, $5 you get new episodes, and $10 you get to see us. You get to see episodes. Time gets to watch. Yeah, you get to see us. You get to see us. The video episodes. Time gets to watch. Yeah, you get to see what we actually look like,

which is a real treat. So yeah, and there's other fun stuff. Like you get outtakes from the episodes that we've done already. Like there's some fantastic outtakes from the May Martin and Tom Rosenthal episode we did a few weeks ago. Yeah, loads of good stuff. Get the jingles a single. Eventually they'll be t-shirts and stickers, but at the moment the post being one of these we're not posting those out, but we promise you'll get them eventually.

They are there, listen to dear, we can guarantee they are there for you. They definitely exist. To have the t-shirts, I have the stickers and badges, but at the moment you don't. So enjoy that. Yeah, no live shows to plug really, so let's just crack on with the episode. The episodes stay indoors, stay safe, and enjoy Catherine Bohart. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a B. If you've got a B, maybe we can help you

be from the zoning at your B. So, thank you very much for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. And what kind of a... If you had to sum yourself up as a flatmate, what kind of a flatmate do you think you are? Controlling, tidy. I would say dominant and maternal.

Okay, how does the controlling manifest itself? What kind of controlling stuff are you? I like a cleaning rota. I like to check people have done their cleaning. I like to decide where things go and why they go there. And I don't like unscheduled visits. Do you know what? I'm with you on that. I hate an unscheduled visit.

Well, it's a good time for that, guys. You're not going to get an unscheduled visit in a moment. Yeah, one good benefit. Here's a thing. I see if you agree with this, Catherine. and then go to a visit at the moment. Yeah, one good benefit. Here's a thing. I see if you agree with this Catherine. I once invited a friend round to meet my cat. Just, you know, like- Obviously.

That's not a euphemism. No, no, no, no. It's a friend of mine who haven't met. I've got a lovely little cat called Cosmo, lovely short-haired exotic cat, and this friend wanted to meet Cosmo, and just before they were coming round, they said, oh, by the way, I'm also going to bring someone else. Sorry, was it?

I just said, oh, I'm also going to bring someone else. Is it all right if I bring another person to your house? I mean, I knew this person, but no, that's not the arranged, and you can't do it on the day of, on your way there. No. I was like, you say, can I bring it around a cat? You know, bring in a dogable thing. Can you believe that?

Yeah. Did you cancel the visit? Yeah. Oh, okay, see, now, okay, I don't have the level of interest in confrontation. That requires a lot of attention. It's a very technical way of that, but you have manners. Oh, I have shame, but what I know is shame,

but what I would have done would be incredibly passag about the entire endeavor. So I probably would have been like, sorry, I only have two cups, despite everything. You know, I'm so sorry, I only have two chairs. The other ones just happen to be on fire. Yeah, I would have, sorry. So that would, I would have literally put all of the chairs

in another room and the cups and the other eight biscuits because that's who I am. Right. So I can only meet one person at a time. So you're gonna have to wait in the hallway. Yeah, exactly, yeah, exactly. Oh, the third relation says you can't both be in here at the same time, I'm so sorry. Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Oh, the explanation says you can't both be in here at the same time.

I'm so sorry. Exactly, right. Yeah, yeah. So with the cleaning rotor as well, you make the cleaning rotor yourself. And you sort of know what I do. The cleaning rotor is a joint effort. Well, I make it appear so.

Yes. Yeah, no, no, no. What you want to do is explain what your standards are and then how in the first week of being there, you've predominantly taken the on the burden of that and how you think it might be fairer if we made a road because that way everyone knows what they're doing and they know when they have to do it and there's no guilt when you're not doing anything else, you know, because that's that's the gift you're giving them. And then you may be eliminated and you put on the fridge. You got a laminar, that's great. How does this sit with your

house mate? Are they ever similar? Ilk to you when it comes to cleaning? Are they happy to be on a rota? So my last house, that where I had housemate's housemates, they were fine with it. I mean, I would still say like my level of my standard of cleaning is higher than most people, so do I occasionally redo jobs they've done? Maybe. But I would say right now, I live with my girlfriend right now, and she has very clear jobs, right? She does the whole ring, she does the bins, and they are achievable in a girl's field, manly, her favorite little way to feel, and I'll do the rest, and that's fine, but she is very understanding of my level of hygiene standards, and whilst herself, I think, innately

an animal will adhere to my rules because she loves me. Can I talk to about who we need to get into this? Yes, let's talk. I have a lot to say. Yeah, because this is a fantastic podcast and we, you know, one day we'll get just on the show. One day we'll get just on the show. Can I talk to you about the who ringing your house? Because the situation, I don't need to explain why, but we're now cleaning our own house. Which means I've started. I've got a UK.

I'm dealing with it. Oh my god, that's so tough. I'm dealing with it. You have god, that's so tough. I'm dealing with it. It's a smooth problem. You have to prep your own bed as well. No, no, no, that will get delivered. So it's fine. Oh my god. See you.

Oh, delivered pre-cops. You don't have to have a kid you care for, do you? I do have a kid, yeah, yeah. Oh god, I'm so sorry. Well, I've got a baby in a cat, yeah. Yeah, to see her this week. Is the night nurse still alive? No, not your course. baby in a cat, yeah. Yeah, to see her this week. Is the nightmare still alive to come, well? Not your course, I'm not moving her out.

And it's like, she's living in, of course, that's fine with where I was living together. But I've started having to do the hoovering. Like, when your partner does the hoovering, do you ever go back and redo the hoovering? No, but because then she won't learn. What I do instead of stand over the bits, she's missed. Oh my god. Get her to go get the hoover again and get the hoover.

This all sounds so cool. Oh really? You said this makes a film, Manly. I'm not confident she'll hear you. It's all so fun. makes a film, Manly. I'm not confident you're gonna love this. I'm not confident you're gonna love this. I'm not confident you're gonna love this.

Are you, I, um, move the furniture out, whover, move the furniture back kind of person? Do you mean, do I do it right, or do I do it badly? Absolutely, as the white is my question. I do it well, yeah. I'm more of a clean everything. Why would you leave dust under the sofa? You can still, it's still there.

So you literally moving the sofa every time you hoover? Yeah. Are you not? Insane. No, insane. No, absolutely not. I don't have a whole three years. Once every three years treat.

No, what about the like scourting boards behind there? That'd be a different color. You don't see them, do you? Yeah, that's it. What do you know? Do you take off the skirt in Borelstown? No, but I, I, I, you know how many borrower's you've killed in your life? They all live happily in my Hoover.

Um, no, I, I hoover the, skirting boards and, yeah, well, do you want to do the sofa? Of course. I often take out the cushions of the sofa as well and give that a hoover and do me. Yeah, I take the cushions out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's easy to do. That's a bit of fun and also you can, you know, build your sofa all the way. Sometimes you find some pennies, sweet.

Sometimes you find some pennies more likely you find bits of dinner because we eat dinner on the sofa watching Tilly. Okay. So we find a lot of, you know, a lot of, a lot of, you know, peas and stuff like that or occasionally if it's like a bit of pastas been under there. I'm just sitting on the chair. Sorry, sorry. In fact, I've had to invest in, I've had to invest in one of these. I just got this the other day. I'll show you because we're on the, because we're on the Zoom.

Yeah. Got one of those. Oh my god, that's so exciting yeah how exciting I have you got you've got the which one Emma I've got a little very bad one like a room back yeah I've got a remote control for it whoa oh my god that's so good and you just let it off and it off it goes and just goes all around the room there we guys is a third though like how does it get into corners um what's that yeah I always wonder And you just let it off and it off it goes and just goes all around the room. There we go. Is it thorough though? Like how does it get into corners? What's that?

Yeah, I always wonder about that. Are you guys all millionaires? And not anymore? Are you guys creating off the podcast, Colleen? As you, he can't get a cleaner. Oh, so sad. My heart is breaking. Talk me through this.

How does that guy get in the corners and does he do your skirting boards? And how does he know? You don't mind my cleaner or the Roomba? I am not talking about your cleaner. It's called a little Lysker. Is your cleaner called a Roomba? Roomba, no, no, he's Diana, but it's a...

Yes, he's got little whiskers that kind of nippings at the corners. But since it's where it gets cool cool it kind of bashes itself out and it... That's what I wonder about it it's around shapes so how can you get into a corner and the whiskers push it into it so the whiskers like grab this down and push it into its mouth. But I mean you're not going to get on top of skin boards there Catherine. No you're not going to do the stairs. Is it more like for I would love one of those for like

stairs? We're not out of it. All right, is it is it the kind where like you do it for like maintenance during the week and then you only have to Hoover once a week? Yeah, that doesn't get used in this one. You have like a maintenance Hoover and then a real Hoover. I'm saying that is that what do you use the robot for? Like to stay to keep it tight? Yeah, I just use it for company more than anything.

Nice. OK, that I don't understand. I just show it and follow it around and make sure it doesn't eat all the wires. Do you put stuff on top of it, Tableau? Trip. I really want a cat or something, but I just told them not to allow one. Um, yeah, no, I did. By who?

The landlord. Oh, god, fine. But, um, yeah, it's called Fenton. Um, oh, brilliant. Brilliant, so you can shout at it. Fenton! Yeah. Um, it does get under the, it does get under most of the furniture and stuff.

Which is good. There you go. But yeah. It gets trapped. It beeps a lot and it gets trapped and confused. How much can you control, sorry, sorry. How much can you control the distance, it like the direction it travels in? So for example, if you'd drunk, if you finished a mug of tea, could you put it on the room bat and send the direction it travels in. So for example, if you've finished a mug of tea,

could you put it on the room bat and send the room bar into the kitchen and go, well, I'll pick that up when I get to the kitchen. Could you do that? Well, then it, no, no, because, well, I've got a cheaper one that kind of, it just starts about and randomly, whereas you can't get the ones that you properly

map and control by. I tell you the same, I've got a cheaper one as well. Me and me too, I was like, you're the fuck. They work in shifts. Yeah, maintenance, the maintenance, maintenance, and then the maintenance, maintenance. Of course. And then the industrial that comes out of the week.

Of course. I've got a proper one in the cupboard that occasionally, we'll have to come out. Genuine question. When do you hover? I got for one in the cupboard the occasion. We'll have to come out. Genuine question. When do you Hoover? Because I love a Saturday morning clean of the full house so that then I'm like, okay, great, I can relax

for the weekend. But I think other people don't do the weekend. When do you do? Sorry Matthew, when does your cleaner come? Two things a day. So we now do Tuesday mornings because that's when Danny used to do Tuesday mornings. He reminds me of a happier time. Yeah. Why Tuesdays? Just because it's the day she can do. She's

very good. Why do we do Tuesdays? Because we're locked into the habit of Diana doing Tuesdays. We're used to having the house being at its cleanest on a Tuesday afternoon. Interesting. Do you take it in turns to play the role of Diana and kind of do like a bit of role play where you were? Oh, oh. Are you wearing the made outfit? I told you that my wife was shagging Diana in confidence, right?

I didn't know you'd bring it up on the top. How could you not be? She cleans the hair, and she sounds wrigg life. Oh, she's fantastic. Yeah, this lockdown has hit her heart of anyone else. But no, no, we don't, we don't roleplay as Diana, unfortunately. Now, but you know what now, that's what I'm going to start doing. Yeah, it'd be a bit of fun. Tuesday mornings, I'm going to pretend on Bulgarian. The, I can't wait to hear that. the, I can't wait to hear that. The thing I feel about hovering is it's like it's like cutting your toenails. If you do it too regularly, then it stops being satisfying. Like if you give it a decent amount of time, then you have the real satisfaction of like it's like when you cut the graph

seeing the dirt, you get it up. If you're cutting the grass every week, then you're not having a decent, you can't see a pattern when you're going along, you know. I'm with your toenails. So what you're saying, Tom, is like hoovering like your toenails, you really want to hear a crunch. You want to give it, yeah, you want to give it like at least like three or four weeks.

And then you can really get the bed for weeks. How are you going to plan to draw up? I actually, first of all, in a week, you get enough dust that it needs a hoover. And there's also four weeks. You surely, you'd be sick from like the dust in your house. No, you start the month with fresh bed clothes, a good hoover.

You don't change your shoes on a monthly basis. Yeah, four weeks. No, you don't. Tom does it when he gets a wrap. You don't do it every four weeks. Yeah, every four weeks. You only change your bed sheets 12 times a year. And then swapping the towel as well, I'll get you some for them. Oh, oh, oh, oh, my god, stop it. Stop it. You're a liar. No. Oh my god, I'm so stressed.

That's when you could fucking hoover your sheets. That's horrendous. No, no. Catherine, quick question. Do you want to room with me in Edinburgh? No, I'm even trying to use bed. I would fucking kill you. I'd be in jail.

It's a no. So you don't even change your sheets at Edinburgh. I would fucking kill you. I'd be in jail. It's a no. So you don't even change your sheets in Edinburgh. Oh my god, I'm so jealous. No, there's no need. You can just do the month in Edinburgh. That is deeply upsetting to me. There's no need.

You're there for four weeks. Can you move the sheets when you take them off or are they like, well, no, I feel like a fortnight as long as sheets should go. Boys, yeah. Well, I'd say that that is kind of my role, but it is not a role, particularly a whole two that much. What is going on? Are you serious? And in Edinburgh, I've never washed my sheets during an Edinburgh. Why you're never normally sleeping in your bed,

though, are you clocky? LAUGHTER Right, well, it says a long time ago now. Let's move things on, shall we? Let's move things on, because that was over 10 years ago now. We're all different people, aren't we? We're all different people. Are we all different people? And different people who don't change their shades.

Here they are. Catherine, would you like to do our first beef? I think I've emailed it to you. Oh, okay. Great. Hi, Pappies. Hi. Is there a poster fee in your Pappies? Yes, because we used to be called Pappies Fun Club. That was our name.

Okay, great. Then I'll reserve judgment on this person. Yeah. Hi, Pappies. I'm living in Japan and strict protocol demands that I maintain a non-confrontational attitude to everything. However, my neighbor is a really loud snorer to the point that he will wake me up at 3 a.m.

watch her some tips to socially awake him without knowing, without him knowing I woke him up. Love you by Mike. So I'm not going to unpack there. A lot to unpack there from Mike. Right, so he's got a neighbor that snores so loud you can hear, I mean, well, he lives in Japan and there's a strict cultural protocol, which means you have to be non-confrontational. So there's no way he can just go and be like, yo, dude, you're saying like a freight train. All right, chill out, Catherine, for starters. That's too confidential for my liking. Oh, okay. And she goes, I think you do,

you come from no thank you, all right? It's okay, it's a friendly podcast. Surely in Japan, it's a bullet train as well. Oh, I'm sorry. Got him so culturally insensitive. Jason, it's a bullet train? Fine, carry on. Can I send culturally insensitive and ask,

do they have, will the walls be paper? Is that like... Oh! I think, like, would they be really thin walls? Yeah, are you asking, are you actual paper? Well, no, but they do have thin walls in Japan, don't they? Is that what I'm talking about? Isn't it Japan where...

I think that's around the year. I think that's around the year, no. A house devalued like super quickly, because they're built very cheaply. Is that not true that if you buy a house, that by the end of, but after 20 years, it's worth nothing at all. I think without making...

With me living in it. Yeah, I mean, clearly, Jesus. I would say after, without making sweeping generalizations about a culture, I think we could say that in this specific case, if you can hear your neighbor snoring, it sounds like some thin walls. That's some thin walls, yeah. Is that a team member?

A neighbour cough. Yeah, is that your upstairs neighbour, or your next door neighbour? Next door neighbour. Really? Have you checked up on them? Who? No.

No. No. But that's the only thing I ever hear. And I think that we're bedroom to go through in the layout. So I just sometimes hear him coughing the room and I never hear. Our neighbors are, I don't know what he is. Our bedroom is right above our right below our neighbor's bedroom as well. And sorry. And we can hear them cough. I could hear that. I could hear the you cough. I'm sorry. I'm so suggestible. But Mike, he wants to know how to wake him up without him knowing that he woke him up.

Is there a suggestion here that you could mirror the snoring? And, you know, so you snore, you kind of fake snore back. Yes, although here's the thing if someone is snoring, they're very, very hard to wake up often. You know, very deep sleep, right? That deep sleep.

You'd have to make a snore that's louder than his snore in his own, if seeing as the snore is happening in his own head. You could do an audio recording of that guy snoring and then just pump up the volume and play it back. Oh, that is great levels of passive graphics. Yeah. I'm well-practiced.

Or he could just anonymously leave those snoring things. He popped up under your tongue on his doorstep. Whoa. Hang on. What are the snoring things you pop under your tongue? You can get stuff that you just like in the chemist. You just pop under your tongue and it's supposed to stop you just like, you just in the chemist, you just pop under your tongue and it's supposed to stop you snoring so loudly.

What a mantra. What is it you get? What is it you put on your nose? It's firework. I've never used them so I'm not sure, but I know you can get something that you put under your tongue and you can also get like a bit like a swimming thing that you pop on your nose.

So you're absolutely right. I've recently been disturbing my wife with my snoring, so I have gone full chin strap, which is one of the most humiliating articles you could hope to wear. What is it? It's like a... It's a chin strap. So it goes under your chin and then you Velcro it on the top of your head. It's kind of like a band that goes all the way around.

You know like Marley's ghost. It's like we've been worn the Aces for double cheers. Yeah, and it means that you keep your mouth closed when you sleep. But it looks, it's the most, it's appalling. It looks awful. Is it working? I think you know. So, I've combined that with the nose strips. Yeah.

So, I've got this nose strip chin strap. How do you breathe? Well, the nose strips really open up the nasal cavities. So, there's a lot going up and down the nose strips really open up the nasal cavities. So there's a lot going up and down the nose. Much like the chin strap closes your mouth and then the nose strips open your nose and that's that's supposed to sort you out. But I have never felt more un-attractive in my whole life. I don't know. Remember when you said you never changed your sheets?

Because I found you pretty hideous then. That's absolutely right. Do you think that you look good looking snoring? Can I ask a good question? Would I rather be sexy in snoring or unsexy and quiet? Can I ask you the key question? How often are you washing your chin strap? There's no need to wash your chin strap. Oh my goodness, man.

Oh my goodness, man. Jesus Christ. Jesus, I can't. I actually... Okay. Oh my God, Jesus Christ. Jesus, I can't. I actually, okay, how long have you been wearing it? I have been wearing it for about a month now. In fact, I might be able to, I'll find a photo and I'll be able to send it to you.

And then you can tell me what you think it looks like and we'll stick it on with the... To go into grammar stuff, yeah. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Okay. Okay. Well, so you guys don't think you should just leave

the anti-storing stuff on a storey step as well. I think yeah, but that's quite a nice idea, I think. That's a very good passive aggressive way to deal with this action. Yeah, I'm a sleep mumbler and I have everything. I really? Whenever I'm sharing a room with like friends or whatever for trips away, I have a thing. Oh really? Whenever I'm sharing a room with friends or whatever for trips away, I have to pack loads of earplugs for them.

So like, yeah. Oh, I see. You actually go the other way. You go, here's some stuff for you. I can't avoid the mumbly. I can't stop. No, there's no way of stopping it. That's very sweet. Maybe Mike should just get some air plugs and leave that guy alone. Well that would be my first thought. It's get some air plugs.

But he didn't say because he said it's a lot of you at the end. Well I almost thought, I would have thought you would have to try that, right? Surely. Surely that's step one. Or like a white noise. Yeah. I tell you what, I've got that, yeah, I started listening to white noise, a white noise app to go to sleep. I love it. But also partly because I, in my room, the plugs make a bit of a noise. You should get the text.

Come and see my Soho show. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Very funny. Oh my God bless. No. We're just showing Catherine a photo of Tom with his chin strap on. Yeah, we'll send it out to you.

You look like an absolute liver drug be player. Oh, I'll take that. Yeah, that's fine. You look like you're wearing one of the scrum caps. You're fine. Yeah, we're slightly nicer ears. Yeah, sure. If that makes you feel better.

I'll take anything right now. I'll take anything right now. I'll take anything. So we've got, I mean, that's not a bad idea. It's a different thing. You think about it right. You come to the door. Yeah. There's a package waiting for you.

A little note that says, you know, something sweet, like thought you might enjoy these. Just, no, no, no, no no no no that's not really in Japan we're in Japan now. Yeah, non-conjunction. It's not for a restful night. Yeah exactly. Saw these and thought of you.

Yeah. Well you know what else you can put in there as well like non-snauried stuff as well like a little lavender spray or something like that like a little other thing as a bath. Is Mike trying to fuck him? Yeah well. I mean this is a happy kind of coincidence. It could work out, couldn't it? That is only going to exacerbate the noise.

Yeah, that's pretty snoring close. Is not going to stay after. Yeah, could the message be like, hope these ease your discomfort or something? Because like, you know, like if you are a big snorkel or you wake up with a sore throat, you know, you can kind of have that kind of stuff. And it's like, so actually it just seems like, there's a way of doing it where it's like, I'm thinking of you.

I hope this eases your discomfort. You know what, you can also make it personal. You can also say, you're fucking idiot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no with my sleep, these helped me. You're putting it on yourself. It's something that all of us do, just some of us are able to deal with it. I use these now. I use these now, exactly.

He's never going to know that you're not using any of that kit. Yeah, and then pop in some chocolates. I think I love the little camera. Stop trying to woo this guy. I think this is good. I think, yeah, I think we've all got the lock down horn. That's what's going on here. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah, I think. Can you hear the background noise? I just heard that then, yeah. What's going on there? I've not been. I've not been. One second. Well, I'm pretty sure it's Sarah Keyworth.

One second. Okay. Friend of the show, Sarah Keyworth. Someone's noggin knocking out the door. Sorry guys. Hey, that's all right, every day okay? Yeah, Sarah Keyworth was very sweetly making me an iced coffee, which is, oh no, no, she's never done it before.

But she was working the ice trying to get it out. Amazing. Not even, ifmism. And so, um, well, where would it be? Who knows? working the ice trying to get it out and so not even as I'm and so Well, where would it be who knows? I went in and she looked very guilty. I think she may come in in a moment and give me an ice Thanks Sarah and give me an ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Hi Sarah. Thank you.

Thank you. Okay bye. Stop blowing kisses. Don't blow the button. Get out of here. Okay bye. Thank you. Truly the last. The last coffee that's ever been made. My apologies.

No, not at all. Hello. Hello. Where are we? Right. Maybe he could just do that. Maybe while the other guy is snoring, he could make a fucking loud coffee. He could just whack ice next door. He could do that. Sure. Yeah, he could, um, he could make as much. I mean, that's the thing is where he could, just before the guy, I don't know how,

you've got to do it when he's not asleep. You've got to do it sort of like, if the guy's going to bed at 10, you've got to be doing it at 9.45, if you're making a hell of a lot of noise, but then that's just taking you a bad neighbor. Yes, he's got some. I've got an idea, there you go.

Bit of fun, make yourself a pillow fort to sleep in. And that sounds proof it. In particular, I don't know, you know, if you're doing this in Japan, but a lot of people sleep on roll mats, don't they? They don't have particular specific bedrooms. They just kind of get a roll mat out and that's your bed. Right. So if you've got a roll mat and a sofa, you could, you can just make a little pillow for around, around you and then you soundproofed. I mean, does this story end with awesome making one of the colours into a lady?

LAUGHTER Well, I mean, that's a little bonus at the end. Make it into a lady, imagine it's your neighbour. Just go to town on it little bonus at the end. You make it into a lady, imagine it's your neighbour. You just go to town on it. He's really wet in the ice. LAUGHTER Very good. So, we've got the build a pillow for it,

or leave it in the care package. Either a nice. Great, we sorted it. I consider that beef solved. Beef solved. From the starting I consider that beef solved. Beef solved. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.

A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot more. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's a like theaters, December 15th. brilliance. I love the poor things. In some like theaters, December 15th. Yeah, Tom Matthew, Emma and Clarky. And I presume guest. Say my name, but you know, and Catherine, well, you know what? They're not, they're not going to know which guests

they have on all of them. And whoever you are. I've been able to head of clarky there as well. Yeah, I feel. Wow, I know. Go through the order again. It's not alphabetical. What have they gone for here? Order of importance.

Order of preference. Yeah, so who does it start with? Is it Barry, Tom, Matthew, Emma and clarky? I imagine that's most people's preference. I like this guy already. I'd like to see him. I'd like to see him. Yeah, I'd like to see him. But anyway, let's get the message. Before we, before this drives a wedge between the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I don't know. This is a beef as old as FaceTime. My beef is with my flatmate, Stroke girlfriend.

She is addicted to her smartphone. Ooh, she just... Yeah. By the way, I like anyone who's still calling it a smartphone. Who's this from? This is from Alan. Alan has someone's auntie. That's like that's Ios' thing, mate. Like...

Oh, you've got one of those new, fan-dangled smartphones. My Nanche had the smartphone stupid people image the other day on Facebook. I haven't seen that. What is that? There we go. So we're a generation of smartphones and stupid people. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, God.

She has trouble sleeping and when tired, she tries to sleep, but quickly is onto her phone playing Roonscape. What's Roonscape? What? It's a very old game, I believe. I thought Roonscape was like back, but like an old eight-bit game, but then they are kind of revamped and I was like, well, we don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We, but then they are kind of revamped, nice. Will it all be downloaded after this? Yeah.

Runescape, guys. So she's playing Runescape, okay, yeah, right? I've explained to her that the phone is flooding her brain with bad light, and she should keep it out of the bedroom. I can only see the solution as to hide the phone late at night, but I fear this will start a searching frenzy that would make it all worse. I'm at my wit's end. How do I weaner off the bright stuff?

Please help. Please help. Papies and caution and claucay. Okay. I am. Okay. I am. Okay, I am. Okay, and Catherine. Right, Alan, here we go.

So Catherine, a modern day problem. This is a problem. Do you keep your smartphone in the bedroom? Do you have it with you in the bedroom? Me. Yes. Sorry, yes. I'm still stuck on how much I hate Alan.

Like, yeah, listeners. And thank you for your listenership, but you are very patronizing. She's that a child. You don't get to hide her phone from her while you explain good and bad light to the woman you supposedly see as your equivalent and partner. But also, maybe don't be so boring and you wouldn't be on her phone. Also, if you are on runescape, he has bad chance. Also, if they're currently in lockdown, editor only point of access to the outside world, I'd be careful before I head that out and because you might hear some home truths,

you're not ready for it. I'd be really like the ones I've just given you. Who is like, I need to wean my adult partner off the phone that they own. Bowheart, are you addicted to your smartphone because you've gone very on the defense I can just see just just out of shot I can see some blue lights going on to your face there you listen you know that's bad

I'll tell you that's my light okay look at me you that's my lie okay. Tell me all about it. We have to hide the phone from you. Why are you out? I just think people use their phones to work and get the news and contact their parents and speak to the outside world and it's not just like a thing for distraction anymore but also if it is a thing for distraction, how about instead of hiding her phone or patronizing her, you maybe just talk to her about how it makes you feel.

You can do that, Ellen. You can use your big boy words and talk about it. I feel neglected. You could say that, maybe. Those are some thoughts that I have. I don't know about this, Ellen, guy. What I think I'm gonna do know about this Alan guy. I think I do know about this Alan guy. I mean, I loved it.

Yeah, well, nice try and get out of jail free at the end of it. I go, I don't know about this Alan guy. Yeah, what about this? How about this is you get your own version of runescape, or whatever, is it runescape? Is that name of it? You get your own version of runescape, and. Is it Runescape? Is that name of it? You get your own version of Runescape and you replace all the runes with like little images of yourself, Alan. And so that she would be, she'd be like thinking if you while she's playing Runescape.

What's the gameplay for the runes look like, Alan? It's the kind of one of the around adventure game where you kind of collect things and it's it's like pictures of Alan. Collect, pictures of Alan in Escape. Collect little pictures of Alan. And then finally, he'll be your universe. Yeah, you could put

little pictures of Alan and the more you collect, less clothes he wears. And then it might leave you a little bit. You see, you see see she's looking at all these new Strip ruinscape strip ruinscape exactly. She's looking at all these new pictures of Alan she goes Why are I looking at this on the computer when I can get this for free just by rolling over? I got a lot of the program a computer game They're in the

That's the only that's the only sort of stumbling block in this otherwise flawless plan. She wants to have you, she won't play the naked Alan game surely. It's just a suggestion, guys. Just try to keep it fresh. You don't think we could maybe get Alan to analyse why he feels so threatened by a phone and then use his words to express his feelings to his grown-up girlfriend? You know, that's a good idea though. I would say that though. It's a common problem.

It's definitely something that comes up in our house and it's normally the other way round. Fubbing, don't they? Oh, what's fubbing? Phone snubbing. Ah, I thought there's something sexy. Me too. No, no, no, no. That's a problem, Ben.

It's not sexy. It's not sexy. No, I think... So, Ben, do you get told off by your partner for being on your phone in bed? Yeah, or just being on my phone in general. I'm on my phone too much. And it's true, I am. And bow hard to your end office with your partner or are you both kind of...

Yeah, I mean we both work from our phones and we both get all of our news there. But yeah, occasionally. But then Sarah will just use words. She'll be like, hey, I feel like you're ignoring me and I feel like I need more attention. And also I feel like you don't find me interesting in turning my feelings. Could you maybe? Also she'll occasionally say, put your phone in airplane mode because it's sexy type. My feeling with Alan is obviously she asks if I want that consent is important

but my feeling you know which is why you shouldn't hide people's fucking phones Alan. Why don't you just why don't you just text her you know if you so look if you want her attention and they're in bed and she has her phone why don't you just, why don't you just sayster? You know, if you so, look, if you want her attention, they're in bed and she has her phone, why don't you just send her a message? My wife started doing that to me, just like texting me things that she wants me to do tomorrow, or like that she doesn't want me to forget.

So we'll be lying next to each other in bed and then my phone will ping and I'll look at it and Jane will have texted me from that side of the bed and it's like, I think, but that's for our serious correspondence, but there's quite a bit of a record. Yeah. What I quite like about it is it opens up our fun chat. So it's like, I like, I've only realized this with that, but like, I have like four simultaneous correspondence going on my wife through the course of a day. WhatsApp, she'll WhatsApp me stuff, and they're really fun and silly. Like she'll

be calling me like a bumhead on WhatsApp. Text. You start snoring. Text. Text will be like, we need milk. Right. Then she'll email me with like, do you have a pension plan? Wow. Like real business. Yeah. So like what's from what's up text and email? We have like there are three different conversations going on and they're all of different kind of structure. And then she and then she tweets you the sexy stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course that's our Instagram page. Yeah, I was like, I said, you should sex, he should sex,

or you were like, yeah, my wife talks about pensions, milk and my butt. And the fingering comes when? I don't understand what? What is that tale from Tom? I quite like it. But you know, sometimes a chat about a pension can lead to fucking, right?

Because you think, well, I've got to think about what I'm going to do. You know, I've got to provide for myself when I retire. Life's very short. Maybe I should be having sex. Is that, does that feel like a logical leap? I think that you, I think it's horses for courses. Different things turn on different people. Absolutely.

I feel variable rates is what really gets you going. Whereas if my girlfriend tidied the house, fucking hell. If you didn't have to stand in any corner of the room and go do this bit again. Oh my god. Oh. You'd be like,

I'm going to do this bit. That would be it. So far our suggestions are sexting. sexting it, sexting her, yes. Using your words, Alan, to explain it to you. You've been working on it. I've been working on it. When you're neglected.

If it's the bad light thing, I've got an app that makes all the screen go red. Oh, that's sexy. Oh, wait, you're assuming he actually gives a shit about her sleep patterns as opposed to just wants attention. It turns out that everything, right? Yeah, if you see some excuse of, you know, bad light, get the twilight out. It is in Alan's defense, he does start with, she has trouble sleeping. Twilight app. A Twilight app. And the song it does start, it does start

with, you know, his intention for her benefit rather than just his own. My Twilight app, some of my apps, since I wear walls, some of it's a vampire's. Oh, then the great, lovely bit of business. Oh, then the great lovely bit of business. Staff review. Then quickly, I've not noticed the film. Let's bail out here. But we all enjoy the day. So, but you, Catherine, you think that the pretense is that he cares about her sleep patterns

and her wellbeing. The actuality is that he is somebody who needs more attention. He craves her attention. It's very well evaluated, right? You can, it should be these terms, like he needs more emotional connection and one on one time.

But in that case, just be a big boy and say that instead of hiding or found, she's not like a terrier. You can't just be like, go find it. I just can't. I can't. Is the middle ground here like a no phone in the bedroom rule for the house? Because that's something my wife is trying to implement is like, it's for both of us. We leave the room for us and we leave our phones both of us in the front room when we come to bed. I just thought you were alarm.

Yeah, that's why I use my phone alarm clock. Well, like the 90s. Yeah. Catherine, we love the 90s. What is it that you need to know about us? You know, the alarm goes off. Chris Evans' breakfast show. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, please. I, yeah, I mean, you know what? It's clearly a good idea, isn't it? To not, like the last thing you do shouldn't be checking your phone. It's not good for your brain to be, um, it go on. But we listen to, we have the cam app and we listen to sleep stories on our phone. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we've done that before, listen to a little, little meditation. They're great. And also occasionally Sarah can get to sleep instantly and I can't. So I like being able to read an article while I go to sleep.

Also, Herbert Allen just led through to side for herself. Ever that? Sure. Yes, fair enough, fair enough. Oh, that's me. I don't think that's too really like Salon. No, I don't think that's the way back Berlin.

Alan's blocked his copybook. Do you know what I've got recently? I've got, I've told you about this before, I've got the little headband that's got speakers in it. Oh, chin strap speakers. Yes, it's like a chin strap band. Chin strap speakers. Chin strap speakers, yeah.

I saw the Shane Cicella got cancelled. But it goes round your head, but over your ears, not over your chin, and it's got a little speaker on either side. So it means you can, it's like, you know, so you don't wear headphones in bed, because you know, if you listen to your headphones in bed, sometimes they'll wrap around your neck

or whatever or if they're wireless headphones you'll end up and they'll be in the small ear back. So if I want to listen to something, do you know, do you ever find that? Like, you know, if you wake up in the middle of the night and your wireless headphones are managed to somehow wangle their way down the end of the bed. I can't afford wireless headphones or a clean.

I don't have wireless. This is not relatable content. Sorry, I'm just not for god how rich I was. The dyana find the room. Yeah, Diana has to have to root them out for me. Yeah, it's really bad. When she's changing the bed every three days. And madness.

Madness. I do listen to madness, it's all asleep actually, yeah. And that's the wrong choice of music to fall asleep to, mate. You're talking about, it must be love. I've got a flinty scar. Not like you do one step beyond. I'm not a lunatic.

No, I can't fall asleep to music. I have to listen to someone speaking. Plus, we've got white noise as well. Nice. Yeah, it's a nice combination. Or combine the two and listen to me. Just block it all out. So obviously, Catherine, you don't like Alan.

Oh, I don't like Alan's behavior. Let don't like Alan's behaviour, let's be clear. Okay, Alan is a person you've got no problem with. Blame the sin, not the sinner. Yeah. Absolutely. So what are we saying? You think it's going to all be solved with rather than him emailing a podcast and trying to get us to solve it, if he sat down, chatted to his wife and explained his feelings.

Yeah, I think just like, in general, not think about her as someone who he needs to make decisions for as opposed to with. That would be like a big hell. What if they've had this chat already? What if they've already had this conversation? Maybe they're incompatible. You know what this, this is a lot.

Sooner or later, it all comes down to this Maybe this is not the relationship for you you know what I mean Maybe your iPhone she's Android Exactly the writing is in the runes Well, I think be solved can they please email it if they break up? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. Please do get in touch if you break up.

Get to send us a text about 11 o'clock at night. From a sorting egg and beer. Okay. So, Catherine, do you have a problem with your flatmate that you would like our friend, Fanshawe Standin' to solve? Yes, so my flatmate Sarah Keyworth, whom I love. I mean, she's learning to hoover, so that's something, and she doesn't hide my phone, so I didn't know I was blessed, but hashtag blessed. I would say welcome. Generally, good housemate, but very bored, because we're in corona, not in. Yeah.

And she gets quite agitated, like she hasn't used a ball of her energy. And so she has recently taken to trying to wrestle for fun. Yeah, so I don't know if this is a commonplace problem amongst other housemamates, but being challenged to a wrestle, again, not a euphemism, is tiresome, and also I think slightly problematic because she's not as big as she thinks she is, and all I need to do is sit on her and I win.

And so it's just a tedious thing we do every day where she sort of runs at me and says, I look for it and then I win and then she tries to show me her new skulls and everyone else having this same thing. You know, you say this and it reminded me of something that happened when I was at university. My first sort of term at university, I made friends with two people who we, all three of us, we used to wrestle each other and it was me and a guy and a girl and what I didn't realise was the guy and the girl who weren't me fancied each other, I wanted to fuck each other, and this is their way of getting, but for some reason, their fourth play involved both of them having to wrestle me as well.

Are you sure that was their decision cross-made? You weren't just... Oh, no, that's it. I'm not saying it was their decision. What did they do in bed when they were wrestling? I didn't know. I was the tone. Hey!

A Wrestle-Tem! What? But, yeah, so, I mean, I was only like, it was only like ages after that I realised, oh yeah, I shouldn't have been involved in that. Oh yeah, I shouldn't have been naked either, but you know, I was wearing protections, so it's fine, I was wearing a chin strap.

So, it was alright. But, no, the... I love those realisations that come like two years down the line. Yeah. When you, how was I doing that? When you're like, oh, that's what that was. Like, Alan in two years. I shouldn't have emailed those guys.

Alan, I'm a huge podcast, I reckon. Alan, in three weeks when this podcast goes out, yeah. Alan has had that realisation. Oh, Alan, you'll be happier after. Okay, let's put Alan's on one side. We're going to stop talking about him. So I think we need to assume this is a non-sexual wrestling, right? This is a, this is an energy thing. Oh yeah, this is like, I have a tiny boy of a girlfriend and she doesn't get to go out and tuck herself out running around the park. So she, I mean, we go for our daily walk or whatever but she has too much energy. Most of it,

she spends on FIFA 20, thankfully, but with that which is left over, she runs at me occasionally without warning. She also plays a game called Catch Me where she'll just scream, catch me, and then throw herself at the grand, and then I have to capture. And if I don't, I'm the bad guy. So... Oh, no. These times in our household.

Is she standing on furniture for this? Or is she just... No, no, she'll just fall for wherever she is. Right. And I get a bit of leading, like it starts slow, and then obviously gravity takes over. So, pretty tense times. But we're fine, I mean, right?

Is that normal? Sure, no, I don't think, I mean, it certainly sounds like she trusts you. She trusts you. That's good. We would make a very effective improv group, it's true. Yeah. So we could do some great team building. Yeah, awesome team. We can't solve

this problem, Catherine, but we know a man who can. Tom, would you like to fetch Fadjol Sandin for us, please? I'll get Fadjol Sandin. Really? Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really and gentlemen, off to podcast. Oh pleasure to be here. Tired up indoors. Not left the ball in three weeks now. Got on the wrong side of a local crime family. Kidnapped not fortunate timing Wait, I can't get to my house, I'm sure

The real local Lips is And brother, brother, brother John It's the bad brother, bad brother John. It pertains to what we were talking about there, bad brother John. He'll remind me of the time when we were put little children now, seven years old, would you probably remember it? Eight per day, not yet seen. Ha ha ha. Two months away. What you asked for, bad cousin John, a chainsaw.

Oh, that's not great. That's not great. But as is always the way the elder son always gets what it wants. The eighth birthday comes around Little John opens up his package change saw Hell what you gonna do goes out to play neighbors kiddin catch Never going to end well. So what do you do?

well nothing Never going to end well. So what do you do? Well, nothing. And that criminal gang leader and I owe him quite a lot of money. If you could inform the local police of my whereabouts, then I would be very grateful. We will do our best, Fanshawe. Yeah. That has helped with your, I gotta go. Oh my God, Fanshaw. Fanshaw. Oh dear. What turns out a cry for help? Yeah, Port, I think Fanshaw has really taken this whole thing

to heart. This is quite sad story for Fanshaw. Tom, you'll never guess what happened to Fanshaw, Tom. Tom, you're not gonna believe what happened to Fanshaw. Tom, you're not going to believe what happened to Fanchur. What's happened? He's been kept a prisoner in his own house by his brother. And I think there was, yeah, by his brother who lives upstairs. And I think it was also a story about a chainsaw killing a kitten.

Does it sound like isolation is doing very well for him? No, no, I think it's really hitting hard. And it would be hard to notice if Fanshal had a stroke. But I think something's gone on in his life. So if next time you go and get him, it might be worth sort of informing the local constabulary as well. Maybe it's not just his internet connection that's unstable. Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Well, Catherine, did that solve your problem? It certainly distracted me with new ones. Oh, dude! Oh, fantastic. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. You've got a new podcast out, haven't you? Oh, yes, sir. Sarah and I have a podcast called you'll do and it's on BBC 7th and Spotify and wherever the hell you get your podcast and it's about relationships and ideally the nitty gritty of them and not just the veneer sort of that we put on Instagram. We've had some really good guests. And do you give give do you give sort of the same sort of hardball advice that you're giving to Alan?

Is it a lot of like, you know, shut up and you know listen to her and that kind of stuff? No, it's tough love as that. It's well, I mean, it depends on who the guest is. Like I'm quite nice to the women. It's just that women. It's just that, um, I think we're got a bit of a hard time. I've done poor old old Ahmed, but they both deserve this. And so, please come listen to that. That'll be lovely. Brilliant. All right, we will listen to that. Thank you very much. Thanks for being on the show. Thanks for having me. This is really fun.

Bye. From the starting, can be. What a treat. What on earth. Yeah, what a great treat. And apologies. I should say two of those messages actually came from people who had joined the Patreon. So they were so the message from Alan. Alan is actually a patron and the message from Mike.

Both members of the patron, they, you know, one of the great things Alan is actually a patron and the message from Mike. Both members of the patron, one of the great things if you join the patron is you get to have your beef guaranteed to be read out on one of the episodes. Cash for questions, if you will. Very much cash for questions. So that was, yeah, that was, you get to be absolutely rinsed by our guests.

What an extra treat that is. A no nonsense response. Absolutely. It really cuts to the quick of the man that is Alan. So, the other thing is, if you, even if you're not a member of the Patreon, do get in touch with your beef. We'd love to hear from you. It's beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com. We can't do this episode without your beefs. Ands and we've got a handful more but we always like some we always like receiving them from you and if you've got problems

that have a risen recently you're just spending more time with a flatmate get in touch. Papi sorry beef brothers podcast at gmail.com and do get in touch with us we'd love to hear from you. Right, anything else to say? I guess stay tuned for the neighborhood watch roll call. Absolutely. Stay happy, stay indoors, look after each other. Yes, volunteer. This week's episode was produced by Corsham team. Corsham team.

Corsham team. Over. produced by Corsham team. Corsham team. I like the lovely little work from there for myself there and from Professor Corsham. Well I guess that's um cheers everyone. Bye. Will you please be upstanding for this week's neighborhood watch? Roll call! Well, well, well, youron. It is full sun. No! To summon Lara Wilson! Oh! You won't believe what I've seen!

No, I won't. So I'll give it a try. I refuse to believe that you're an untrustworthy narrator. Oh! The spookyest kind, an unreal soul. He's your starting a rumor. I've heard a spooky rumor. Oh, it's great night.

You were here, the jangling bones of Starma, my favorite band. I saw them on their last tour. When they played Brown Sugar, I shied myself. I saw them on their first ever tour. It was just me and one other guy. On wrist. Ah, the jangling bones. Ah, the jangling bones.

The jangling bones live and uncut. Free with this week's Mojo magazine. The juggling bones of Scott's Joan. Oh, I heard. No, this is the biggest kind of use. I heard a rumor about the band. Radio severed heads. Oh dear, I saw them on the second tour.

Oh, I missed that one. Oh dear. When they played haunted computer, I chased myself. That's why I missed that one. Oh, I can't want to be around for that sort of firework display. The Franchro. I saw them on their twelfth tour. Oh, pass their best. They cracked open my skull. They cracked open my skull. And they took a big spoonful of my brain. Oh, God!

That was the time I went to see them with emilys in. Oh, oh, oh, round for a groomer. A groomer. A groomer. About the time I saw the band shed full of bodies, seven. Oh, no. Oh, no. It was the band. It was their 15th tour of the UK.

Oh, what a good innings. Dead pigs, unholy sausages. A bucket full of meat. No. They had the lot. Ha ha ha ha ha. The absolute lot. And they dumped it all over the second road. You're in the drums drum solo! Oh no! It absolutely landed onto my good friend and serious fan of the band. Police got!

That was like a Clarkie rhyme. Remember back to what it was. The way you said the lots, yes, yes, yes. I know this is a forget. Remember back to what it was at the lot. Yes, yes, yes. And all the so-no forget the so-no, put the so-no out of your head. Good luck forgetting the so-no, it was one of the best I've ever heard. Oh, it was the absolute lot. It was in the top 10 absolute lots of drum solos I've ever seen. Oh, cube. 10 absolute lots of drums solos I've ever seen I went to see this next band. Oh yes, I don't believe it. I have a book in room about you seeing this next part. I can't believe this. In the same in the very same room in the very same room. Hannibal, lector. Oh, God, there was no silence of the lambs that night. Oh, we screamed in fear at all, just one of the two. They were the pints of key hand team behind the bar.

Eight pounds at pint. Actually good value. Value with was a hell of a noise. Oh, I the hangover the next day was frightful. It was a spoo gover. Yes, the spooch is kind of hangover. It was a it was a hanging over. Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoor! Hoor! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoor! Hoor! Hoorah! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoorah! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Ho Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, the name of the band. Well of course it was the very loud lambs and who did I see it with? Angerard Williams. Angerard Williams in the very loud loud. Yes. I got a spooky rumor about a gig I went to. I know, I'll never believe it.

You won't believe your ears, your eyes, or your fangs for the memory. So, oh, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God indeed. Goli goes. Goli. Spooky ghost. Or like. Goli goes more like. Yes. It's a Goli ghost. That wasn't saying instead of Goli go. Gosh. Yes. Yes. It's the evil land of Halloween. Now listen to me. I saw fat boy slim to be a big meal. Well, you're not going to believe this. He was, he took out his ribcage. Oh, no. He took out his own ribcage. and the gig didn't continue for much longer after that! What's he doing behind the decks?

What's he doing behind the decks? He's taken out his own ribcage and spinning it as fast as he can and going for that famous world record! Yes! and going for that famous world record. Yes. Yes. Is it true if you remove a rib, you can suck her own decks? Yes. It's, well, the rumors were true.

Oh, he sucked on his own bone. All the way through Spooka Fella's tank. Oh no the scariest tune I ever did here. This makes neighborhood watch roll call. I'm getting in my lab! I'm getting in my lab! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault!

It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault!

It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! It's my fault! and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot more.

It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th.