Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Freya Parker S10E39

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Freya ParkerFreya Parker - https://twitter.com/iamfreyaparkerPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's fall, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no. You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon. Yes, we deliver those. Turtles? No. But turtles the dessert?

Yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Greetings, listener, dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to an exciting episode of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. It is an exciting episode actually.

It is an exciting episode today. I mean, I find them all exciting. I wanted, before we get started, I wanted to do a bit of a shout out to a people. If you do enjoy a Beef Brothers Cold Cuts and you'd like to be part of the show, then please, please, please send us some beef brothers, so it says your beefs with your flatmates.

It's beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com. We're running a little dry at the moment, so we'd love to have more beefs to carry on doing the show with. So yeah, get in touch. Absolutely get in touch, yes please. Today's guest was the brilliant Freya Parker, one half of lazy Susan. Yes.

A favorite sketch team, I think. Yeah. Yeah, so they've performed with us a bunch of times. lazy Susan, a favorite sketch team, I think. Yeah, yeah. Say, say, they've performed with us a bunch of times. Crosby, you've helped them get their shows together in Edinburgh. They're about to make a, right.

They're about to make a sketch series on the BBC. Oh, they're making it. Yeah, it's brilliant. They've got a brilliant little pilot, I should say. Which I think is still on eye player, if you can. Yeah, man, it's so good. I've seen it twice. It's so good. And seen it twice it's so good

and of course she's also on the mash report so you might know her from that but I mean she's absolutely brilliant she's absolutely great and as you'll find out as we get into this episode so don't forget beethbrotherspodcast.gmail.com if you want to get in touch but until then enjoy the episode well if you've got a problem don't call it a problem if you've got a problem call it a b Enjoy the episode Well, Frey, thank you so much for coming on the show Yeah, good morning Good morning person

Yeah, I always think that I am but other other people have laughed when I've said that. So, I guess they're all wrong. Yes, I am. Thank you. Okay, great. Just agree with you. So, you're a morning person, but everybody else around you isn't actually a morning person. Yeah, I think it's really sad. It's really sort of sad for them, I think. And you like to let them know, do you? Yes, yes, yes, yes. In the strongest terms possible, actually.

A wee morning people. I mean, we're up this morning. I mean, I think I don't think you can paint with such broad strokes when you're talking about, you know, how a person's mood is going to be at the start of any given day. Oh man, I'm going to have to change my Twitter profile. Do you want to pause it?

I'm going to find myself by this for years now. No, I'm being a morning person. And a night owl, can I shock you? I have a bit of both. Wow. Great thing about Paris. The great thing about Paris, I've been out with him on, you know, like, I've been out with him on nights out.

And halfway through, you know, he starts turning into a morning person. It's amazing. You think this is perfect? So I'm just kind of, I'm hanging out with a real night owl here, you know, maybe we move on to a sort of late opening bar and I can see the morning person appearing in the urges. And the confusing thing is, we're normally having afternoon brunch when that happens. Yeah, absolutely.

Fascinating. Upcycling. Even the morning person around 4pm, it's mass. A wonderful mess of contradictions and that's why we love you. So, maybe not a morning person but what kind of a flatmate are you? Well again, I think I'm absolutely great. kind of a what kind of a flatmate are you? Well again, I think I'm absolutely great. I think I'm attentive to the little details about communal living.

Okay, talk us through a few details. Yeah, I'm going to talk to the details you've been attentive to recently. Well, stuff like if I wash up, I'll do the cutlery. Sure. I won't just leave it, because I don't like it. I'll do it. And some people... Oh, I think.

Okay. Some people think that that's job done. The bigger stuff, the plate, you play it too glasses, you pans. And they think, I don't know, if they think the courtler is just a bit of fun at the end, they haven't earned or something, but I get the job done. I clean like I want my deposit back. That's how I live. That's a good motto for life. It's a hand in the motto, but you won't be getting it back just so you know

And sadly your deposit was all of your cutlery Do you think that'd be a more effective deposit than hard cash? Your cutlery it's a sort of like sort of like a sort of low scale bailiffs. Basics. Yeah. If your landlord said, if you don't look after the flat, when you move out, you have to leave all your kitchen stuff. I reckon people would really look after their flat.

Yeah. I think that's true, actually. Because the deposit, the thing is, the way we look at money, and a lot of people look at money, is once you've chucked them the one of the deposit is 300 quid, it sort of feels like you've spent it, doesn't it, it feels like the money's?

Yeah. But if you can physically see it, that's a great idea. But then here's the thing, here's the question, say, you break a plate. Do you then have to report that to your landlords and say, listen, I need to go and buy a plate to replace the plate so I'm still up on my deposit. It's a big question, Matthew. And you know what? Maybe not one we're going to answer today,

but I feel like, of course, more problems than solutions here. I throw sorry. I'm throwing it out into the universe to see how I mean. I'm not a politician. I'm not going to, you know, sorry to give you such a sort of issue. Sorry, Clarke. I won't say this actually because initially I was like, well, I think you just buy cheap stuff. One thing that I think you can't really, one thing I'm always amazed at is how expensive mugs are. Well, and also how... You've been buying such a nice mug. The mad expensive mug. What can I... I don't think I bought a mug. Have you never tried one of Clarkey's Faber J Mugs?

Ah! The coffee tastes so good. What are you spending on a mug, Clarkey? Well, I don't buy them often because I'm always like, oh, that's a nice mug. I might get that and then I'm like, 20 quid. You mad? 20 quid on a mug. Surely they come through. They used to regs, don't they? But also, when you go rent Clarkie's house, all the mugs that he has are the mugs we made as a series gift

Filming battles to you have more you have more battles mugs in your house So is that why did you take them all home because you were like bloody hell? I'm going to take them and rich here. I did Matthew sell them to you in a sort of awful Hey sold them to be up 50 quid a month. Matthew did very well. That's how expensive they are mate They're very rare memorabilia that you can only find them in charity shops in West London. That's all you need to see. Only place you can find them. Here's what I think we're missing out on in this.

I think I think I thought what Clark was gonna say, and this is kind of what I was getting at, is... Clark, if only you'd said what Perry thought you were gonna say. Come on, let's just... I don't have much for happy with you. I don't want to be a you. I'm talking about emotional value because I think if you're saying to a tenant, if like fray, if I said to you, what's your favourite mug? Do you know immediately what your favourite mug is?

I've got a few, but yeah, I could easily identify something I've been. I mean, and if at the end of the stay, I said, look, you've stained this carpet. I'm taking your three favorite mugs. You would be a bit gutted. Yeah. Oh, I'd been incensed. Yeah.

And that's where I think it's the emotional value of mugs that more so than 20 quid for a mug. Which makes me think, you know, when you say you go around to like a boomer's house, for example, and they've got nice mugs that are all the same, what, I just would love to know what that day looked like when they went, do you know what,

thanks mugs and smash goodbye. I'm ready to destroy all of these memories now, or give them away, but I don't care for them anymore, and I'm gonna get all of these uniform mugs. It's just quite a big moment in our lives that we've got coming up. I think it's a good point actually. Mag day, when you actually finally get rid of the, and I think they do have an emotional connection because they think you finally get rid of your personality.

Yeah. You sort of go, you sort of like the part of your brain goes, well, I'm not a student anymore. I shouldn't be living like a student, but then you go, but actually, students got bags of personality. Students are all emotion, aren't they? It's a theory. Is it because, right, the older you get, the sloppier your friends get physically. So, so right. Well, that's the trick that's really about. I'll nod to them anymore. Oh, my hands just can't grip a mug anymore. I'm 45.

In my head, it's more like, oh God, if Clark he comes round for a brew and I watch him drooling into my Samuel L Jackson mug, it's going to ruin it for me. What's wrong with Clarky? I'm not a model person. So you know, whereas you got like, if all of my, if all of my mugs look the same, then he won't ruin a specific mug by being grubby around it. Frey, you know the expression loose lips, sink ships.

Yes. That's what Clarke's got, incredibly loose lips. They just caught the, there's a sort of, there's a constant waterfall. It's like going to the Dun River Falls in Jamaica. It's amazing. It's a costume. It's why you're spending 20 quid on a mug.

It's because they've all got lids on with a little spout so he can, he can, That's the key, that's the key. That's the key. That's the key. But I think it is true actually, the emotional connection comes from the fact that you know, what things in the house do you kiss? You kiss your partner?

Yeah. You kiss your kids, you kiss your mugs. You kiss your mugs? That's the things you stick your lips on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything else that you kiss is a better thing. Anything else you kiss, I kiss Cosmo and I realise that she also licks her own ass also. Maybe I should stop doing that, but that's a, you know, that's not the middle

line. Just don't use my mugs basically. Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say. You can have a coffee, but let me just tell you, I've just got off with Cosmo. So, hi, you dribbling, sir, man. Is what else in your flat do you kiss your new open question cross the format? Right. Yeah, we've got players. What do you kiss that's in your flat? Is there other stuff in your flat you kiss?

I mean, you two, you two push, but you more pop that all the way in. I think you've been in French. You're French. My wife, my wife kisses our plants. Does she? You've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, you've been in French, over lockdown so I'm often like you're doing great. I'm so proud of you. Is it like the plant in

ET where your how bad your feeling is directly in correlation to how bad the plant is looking? Very much so yeah yeah I had to report myself early early on in this year, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm private now. Yeah. You look amazing, you've been deadheaded, you look fantastic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I have a season. Right, should we crack on and get, get into some of the, the beefs that are listeners have sent us.

Yeah, let's do it. Clarke, I believe you've got one, you've got one to read us. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, so I think, old soggy, old soggy I'm sorry. Oh, I think old soggy got himself. Oh, I'll dribble it. If you can stop dribbling for five minutes and read out this bloody bit. Stop dribbling live your keyboard. It's in your emails mate. I've got it. So come on sleepy Joe. Jesus man. Sorry, is someone left the tap on. You have a run in water. It's like a slug.

Who's running water? The shaman's just running it. He's your god. Uh-huh, right. He's your god. He's your god for, for God's sake. We have a beef from Steph and Ben via beef brothers podcast at Gmail.com. Get it?

They did and know they're famous. They're on the podcast. They're on the podcast. That's famous, right guys? Pretty much, yeah. Dear beef brothers, last week, the people in the house behind us, probably bored in lockdown, decided to paint our garden fence That's a deadly painted our cat

So this is a too prong Problem right brush. Yeah, too This brush has got two hairs on it Okay, I mean madness We've been trying to get the paint off the cat since oh No, should I say something to them or just accept that this is the new normal? The tap the cat doesn't give a shit really Cheers every boy Wow, okay, step of bed. I've got a couple of questions. What colors the paint?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crucial really isn't it? Is it a red cat? Is it red paint? How have they gone for one of its cat? You know like if like it's all sorry. Is it a squirrel? Sorry? Or have they have they gone for a mural that now only works when the cat is stood directly in front of the mural. Oh, because that's actually quite nice. Yeah, if it's maybe, you know, like two hands, you know, two hands shaking a dove of peace and a pen and a pair of lips kissing, a pair of lips kissing a mug. Yeah, if that sort of thing... Is your neighbour Banksy? Or Neil Buchanan, let's face it. Well, or...

What's the difference? Hey, oh. Yeah, I mean, that's a key question, isn't it, because if it fits in, but then, you know, you can get paint off your cat. John, we'd solve it for you. What's the difference? Nail polish remover. Yeah, I'll shave it.

Yes, I was thinking that's much more fun. I was thinking shave it, yeah. Shave it, then paint its nails, then take the paint off with nail polish remover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shave it, paint its nails, send it round to your neighbours to freak them out. You've created a monster. Yeah, it's matching neighbours windows in, love the in Lovelcats and then Moves House. Also...

It's a scorched earth policy fray, I don't love it. Yeah, you're gonna go for it. I hope you're gonna be bringing this approach to every piece. There's no beef that can't be solved by smashing a window, throwing a cat through and moving house. Just go out. God, that was our shorty step-side yet. Very, very close. Thanks guys, catch you later. LAUGHTER

I was thinking what you could do is you could get a small speaker in a cat's collar, send the cat round, right? And you're sort of hiding behind the recently painted fence with a microphone, doing the... It's given a message to, you know, saying to the saying, do the cat's voice. Okay, so you're going to say like, so they're going to go, oh look, this is little, little cat has wandered in, has wandered into our house, and then the cat looks up and goes, a broken window. Yeah, yeah, it's like, I say wandered in, it's attached to a brick. Yeah, it's just, yeah, I say one, it's attached to a brick.

But then the cat looks up at them and goes, you made me. That's nice. Yeah, I thought I thought there was going to be an end to that sentence. That is the end. That's me. He made me, you made me learn how to talk. You made me learn how to do this, and then it goes on, again, Scotch Dirk, it goes on to do something.

Absolutely. Just an abomination, then, it occurs. Insert your own abomination. What if it was you made... You made me feel so young, and then it burst into song. You made me feel... You made me feel...

Ah, ta-da-da-da- da, da, and then smash the window, poosh. That's quite a nice. Tap, touch and cat that can, can fuck up your flat. Yeah. Sounds like a great Dr. Seuss book, doesn't it? Is this magic paint?

I think one of the, one of the crucial questions is how much paint. How much paint? Yeah. Yeah. Secondly, it is entirely conceivable that the cat painted itself, not the neighbor painted. Well, we all know cats, don't we?

Let's see. I think we've got to start looking at that as a possibility, because it's the elephant in every minute. If the neighbor painted the cat, you would know about it, right? Yeah. Whereas I think there's every chance that the cat painted itself,

and therefore the beef psychologically can shift in your brain, you're chance that the cat painted itself and therefore the beef psychologically can shift in your brain, you're dealing with the cat now, not the neighbour. Also, actually, thinking about it, because yes, they painted your fence, but they're side of it, right? Yeah, that's what I wasn't sure, because if they've literally somehow gained entry into your butt garden and then painted your fence. That's absolutely bizarre behavior. And it makes the painting of the cat seem like a targeted attack almost.

I'm gonna say that you're, I'm gonna say as well, and I know we shouldn't really victim blame in this way. I'm gonna say that you're slightly to blame if you're able to let your neighbors into garden long enough to paint a fence. Especially if this happened during lockdown, then you were home, you know what we. You were home, you know what we're doing.

This is nuts. You probably boarded up all your windows. Yeah, yeah. So if it is their side of the fence, it doesn't back into their garden, does it? And if so, how do you know they've painted it? I guess it might have come in a little alley or something. It might have come through the slats,

you know, it might have just come through the slats. But that means... ...the slats. Well, like out the lift in the shining. Exactly, exactly. Oosing through and then eventually a torrent all over your car. Yeah, yeah. And then all over your cat.

I guess it was the cat sort of stood up vertically like a sort of like a human being, if will so is it down the back of it? Is it all the way down the back of the cat? Was it stood horizontally is it down the side? Was the cat stood on its hind legs pretending to be you letting your neighbors into the garden to paint the face? This is the question. Yeah, was it dressed as you basically? Have you had some of your clothes going missing and then showing up in the cat's basket? Yeah, right? Well, I think the beef clothes sort your cat out.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Your cat's wreaking havoc. Speak to your cat. I think that probably goes for just anybody with a cat. Speak to your cat. You got to speak to your cat. It's had a tough lockdown. Speak to the cat.

Maybe repot it. Repot your cat. I'm going to repot my cat, yeah. And I'm going to try my level best to not kiss it when I'm drunk. Beef closed. Beef closed and hopefully, arsehole closed. Get a zip on it, job done. Beef from the starting, I can be saved. Oh my god, this comes in from Trevor and it's hot off the press guys. Can I say Trevor is an assumed name, he's giving a fake name, that's why I've put his full name at the end of the message. Lovely to have chosen Trevor.

It's a great fake name. Very, very, very strong. Via beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com, getting touched. Please do. You don't get many Trevor's nowadays, Trevor's a nice name, isn't it? They think the same thing, Trevor. I've got no a Trevor.

Trevor might just slip onto the list actually. Feels like a very friendly name, doesn't it? Yes, right. You're still your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, you don't have a, don't have a baby yet. Still think that one's how, how, how much longer before it? We're into minus days now, minus T minus four days. It's cooked.

It's ready. It's cooked and ready, baby. Yeah. It just isn't coming out yet. Yeah. We keep playing it, you know, that public service broadcasting song, go. Yeah. Yeah. We play that every morning and every evening, directly to the baby, because we can imagine, we've got this image of it being in like a little cockpit upside down waiting to press the book Yeah, yeah It's engaged so we've heard that the heads engage so it's like heads engaged

So we keep playing it this goal. Blast off go baby go come on go But it still hasn't worked yet, but that's what we that's what we're playing it every day Yeah, little Trevor. Oh, you know, it's on the list But it still hasn't worked yet, but that's what we're playing it every day. I love it. Little Trev. Yeah, little Trev, all you know is. Trev, yeah. It's on the list. We say Trev is in, like, Trev, if it's a girl. Trev, if it's a girl, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nothing that's the beauty of the name. So it's probably the way. You pop a whey on any name to make it to swap gender. Very good. Absolutely. Right, evening, I have a beef. Oh, it is not specifically a flat share beef for one damning reason.

I live alone. Oh, I'm a train. A house I live in. It's supposed to be a flat share. But due to the reputation of the area, no one else will move in, despite the deliciously low rent. Behind our terrace there is an alley dividing it from the next row splitting our gardens, inverted commas as nearly all of these are untended concrete spaces for fly tipping and occasional day-drinking. In this back alley, a lot of sketchy shit happens and I tend to

ignore it. Save for when it is very noisy as it often is. The noise is normally the sound of some ruckus or other. I like Trevor. Trevor has a way with words. Yeah, I love Trevor's tongue. There is sketchy shit going on. There's a ruckus Yeah, love Trev's tongue. There is sketchy shit going on. There's a ruckus. Beautiful. This summer, many parties were had in the gardens and layered music was heard in the back alley many times.

But all in all, I was not bothered as I was invited to some of these events. However, one night there was a do and I was not invited. Oh, I did. I did care. I did care. But as I slept that night long after the music had stopped at 3am, there came the sound of a man singing opera tunes.

I looked at the window to see a drunk fellow belting out his favorite standards in a rich tenor. And while I was an ornid, I tried not to wade into this sort of thing. By the way, Clark, you still allow me a rich talent. The singing stopped relatively soon after and I fell back asleep. The next morning when I got up for work, the singing man was unconscious in my garden. The wooden fence that split it from the back alley beneath him. I chose to ignore this.

Wow. Can I just say, are we doing this a very special episode that's all fence-based? Yeah, it feels like a split-step. If the next one's about sword fighting, I'm going to go berserk. Was this in your contract, Freya? The fence stuff, yeah. Was this in your contract frayer? The fence stuff, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, sorry. When I emailed frayer and said,

would you like to be on the podcast, she literally said, I'm on the fence. Yeah. So, that's right. I took that as, you know, these are the ones we're gonna do. I took a fence to that. Yeah, absolutely. I chose to ignore this thinking he had just got a drink

and fallen over. But later on my return from work, I was informed by another neighbour that the police had come by, and arrested a guy from the row opposite. As throwing the singer through my fence had violated his parole, it is a sketchy area. It is a sketchy area, yeah. My beef is this. Who's responsibility is it to fix the fence? With the aggressor behind bars, there is no obvious choice. And the landlord says, I need to repair it.

Should I do a runner? Does that work if you have to come back home afterwards? Should I do a runner? Does that work if you have to come back home afterwards? Should I do a runner? I'll do I just ignore my landlord because it's clearly not in his interest to kick me out. Tar, Trevor Distance. Preston turns. I mean, that was a whole series arc there in one beast, I think. This is a really interesting beef. I mean, imagine, just think I'm really interested in imagine that guy who's back behind bars. People saying what you in for and it's for throwing an opera singer through a fence. That's pretty impressive. I mean, I don't know where that fits in the police. Sorry, in the prison hierarchy, you know,

because he's going to get some he he's gonna get some prestige for that. He's gonna get some mad props for that, isn't he? And he's also gonna get a very quiet cell mate. Yeah, very good point. And they're not gonna stick him in with whistling bar bar, are they? Yeah, definitely not. I think it depends if the Nazi who's running the jail

is into opera, in which case he might be very comfortable in his new... Maybe he could organize a jailbreak by chucking someone through the bars. He finds the thinnest prisoner and throws them through the bars. It's a cat. It's a cat that he's attached a little to a speaker to. So I mean, I don't know because presumably you break the fence, you pay for it. But you don't want to be doing prison visits just to say to somebody, listen, you don't have to. And it's expensive to replace a fence.

So this is where my lockdown head is at. It's also going to be quite a lot of fun to fix a fence, I think. And I think we should never look that. I think Tom Soaring is here. Yes, a guy's of signers up to fix the fence. We have a lovely day out. Lashings of ginger beer. It was Tom Soaring the famous Femus Femus.

He was. It's going to be a lot of fun to fix a fence. As long, I think, say to the landlord, Bunga's 100 quid and I'll do it myself. Is that you saying that as Tom? Or is that what Trevor's saying? It's the minute it sounds like you're pitching. If I was Trevor, I'd say Bunga's 100 quid, I'll fix your fence.

Then I reckon you could fix that fence for about 15 quid. Crosby, have you got previous with a fence here? Because it seemed like you were like, they're expensive. Like, I've had a lot of you had fence stealing. Yeah, I've had no idea. I've never... When we first moved into the last flat we were in, the fence was broken and we said, look, a stipulation of us buying the place, When we first moved into the last flat we were in, the fence was broken and we said,

look, stipulation of us buying the place, you've got to fix the fence and they fixed it, they did a 15 pound job on it, basically. They did a 15 pound job on it. The next time it was really windy, the fence blew back into the garden after going to get some proper guys to do it. And yeah, I won't say how much it cost,

but I didn't go and hold it that year. Oh my God. It's pricey, it's pricey shit. Wow, I had no idea. I didn't think Francis would be that much. I was, yeah, I was, I feel that I feel naive. And that's coming from a man who spends 20 quid on a mug. Oh, Bill Gates over here.

He doesn't know. If you're going to put a Bill Gates in it, it's more expensive. It's crazy stuff. I guess it's like what, it feels like Trevor's endured quite a lot so far. He's living in crime city. He's living in an episode of shameless basically. Exactly, yeah. But he's also got the slight sort of quiet confidence

of what sounds like a kind of serial killer. Um... LAUGHTER So... Yeah, just what bit of that are you? What bit of his message were you getting a serial killer vibes from our friend Trev? I mean, it could have just been the way that Tom read it to be fair.

Oh, I give off big serial killer vibes. Maybe that's what it was. Okay, I will discount that then. That's, yeah, I must judge that. No, Trevor, I think whatever you're into, just go for it, no kink shaming from me. LAUGHTER That's why you were very lenient.

The brief period you spent as a high court judge, you're incredibly lenient, weren't you? Because you saw the whole thing. I'm just kind of just kinked. Yeah, it's all a bit fun, isn't it? Yeah. What I'm sensing from Fraser is that she's got two pieces of advice to give. One is the scorched earth policy. Yes.

Set fire to your name and say, or two is, I'm opting out, I'm not going to kick shit. Basically. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like, do you even need a fence as well? If everything, it feels like a very fluid area, you know, you've got your sketchy business here, you've got your parties. What if we just like, I wonder if the landlords even considered the fact

that maybe we don't need fences anymore? You know, gotta come together. That's tear down walls, not build them up. Let's tear down these walls and maybe just transcend these borders. Maybe it's worth taking that angle. That's all well and good in a sort of hippy-dippy way. But I thought we'd live on the Skid Row. Yeah, the fence is protecting our trev from the day drinkers and sketchy fuckers. You know, he's inviting them into...

Did you see the sketchy fuckers, Edinburgh last year? Oh, really strong. So good. So good to see the next generation coming through. Yeah, yeah. I did find it a little hit and miss, though, I must say. Well, sketchbacked by his nature is hit and miss, isn't it? Oh, well, of course.

Sketchback is nature is hit and miss, unlike all other forms of comedy. So um still got that extra grind 10 years after the fact. Anyway um but the thing is you invite them into your garden you're inviting them towards your back door you're welcome towards your back door yeah you're inviting them into your house next thing you know you have got flatmates, but they're flatmates who aren't paying any rent, who aren't respecting the property, who are probably seeing opera all the way through the night

and throwing each other at a window. Here's a bigger question. If I'm gonna look at the main players in this drama. I don't know, I think we should start, we should try and let this in the bud now, but there's three people who I think there is, there is Trev, there is the opera singer and there's the guy who took the opera singer through the fence. There are three options of who's going to pay for this fence, right? Right. Yeah. I think the big question

here is, are you thinking the fourth is the landlord? I mean, the landlord's got to pay for it, right? That's what you do when you own a house. If something gets broken, the landlord has to pay for it. I mean, be soft. It's less fun, but it's be soft. The landlord's going to pay for it, but unfortunately, poor old Trevor's not going to get any of his crockery back.

That's fair. He's lost all of his cutlery. And you know what, he needs those knives more than anyone else to protect his fortress. No, go on, sorry, sorry, Pey, what were you saying? There's three people, there's the opera singer. No, no, we've solved it. No, no, no, no, no, that's not how it works.

If one of us gives an idea, it doesn't mean the other two don't. Go on, Pary Kit, finish your thought. If you tracked down Oppra, man. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Can you persuade a man to repair a fence that he broke by being thrown through it?

Because ultimately, if he's not singing opera three in the morning, he's not getting chucked through that fence. And if he went through it hands first, he pushed it over. He's been like, he was like, yeah, he's fingerprints, he's face prints all over the whole thing. There's one person who calls this incident to happen and it's off. And I think wandering around Skid Row at 3am in the morning, you're

going to find up from man again. I think this end is first rodeo. This isn't the first night he's burst into song. He's got Skulls Gidrow wearing a comma-bund. Yeah, exactly. So you find opera-do-you find old Mr. Go compare. And I think then you're asking then. Then I think you've got the person who should really fix your fence.

Because look, if he's not bailed out, I'll protrude a frame in someone's back alley. You know. It's like, yeah, what else is this guy going to do if he's not stopped? If he doesn't sort of know that there is a consequence to offer a... Yes, absolutely.

Absolutely. I think you have to be, it's like the neighborhood watch, you know, you're looking for people, nick of people's Amazon packages neighborhood watch. You know, you're looking for people, of Nicky, it was Amazon packages, but more than anything, you're looking for people singing a little bit of Latraviaata at 4am. And basically there, they're the real menace. You know, I think, I actually think the bloke is in prison.

It should be, you flip it around. The bloke is in prison. I think, for you were bang on first time. He's done nothing wrong. Yeah, it's a chore he's throwing someone through a fence But he had to stop the opera so that the entire street could sleep. Yeah, he had to do it. We're living in a society here So I guess it's like he's got to just go to the prison Capture the opera guy go to the prison and just be like look, this is a straight swap. Yes. scenario. I'm delivering, I've done you a favour here.

Go for it. Classic, classic prison swap. Yeah. Go for it. Classic prison swap. Go for it. Beef solved. Yeah.

Best of luck to you, Tribe. Be here from the starting, I can be yourselfed. Beef solved. It's for it. And you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes?

Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region, see after details. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny,

and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutford. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters for December 15th. All right, this one is from Lydia via Beath Brothers podcast at gmail.com. Please do get in touch. Lydia writes, hello, my name is Lydia, of course it is. My name is Lydia and I'm currently living with my sister Rachel and her husband Ben, and they're also their eight-month-old baby. I've been here since the start of lockdown, it's mostly been great except my room is above one of the two living spaces in the house,

and every time my brother and law gets up in the morning with the baby, he has song and dance time. This is around 7am. It comes straight through the floor of my room and his choice of tunes was mainly Abba. Now I've mainly managed this by hinting and not directly confronting the issue and putting in headphones and a podcast or two when it kicks off. It's their house and I'm a guest after all. But at the weekend, he started making new additions to the playlist, which I found out at full volume this morning, including electric sixth gay bar. And I think the limit has been reached. Should I keep quiet and let them party, or should he be a better host? Cheers everyone by Lydia. Good host or good dad, you can't have both according to Lydia. So what do we think? Where do we stand? The first thing that jumped out to me was that there's two living spaces.

So what's going on in the other one at 7am? It's a very good point. But you can't just pop in that. Yeah. If they're in a house that's big enough, it's nice enough whether I think you can have your 7am jaunt in the garden. Although actually, then you run the risk of waking up the neighbors and getting thrown to your offense.

Yeah, we're so, where's the fence, but in this I'm glad to miss that. It's a very good point. It's a, it's a fenseless beef. It's got way to read it out. Oh, okay. Well, all by guys, I did make that very clear in my own way. How about we just imagine the floor of her bedroom is a fence? That's sure.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. I guess it's pretty cool. In many ways, like a wooden floor is basically just like a horizontal fence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can agree on that. Right.

We can agree on that, sure. Yeah. Harry, what are you thinking? I'm thinking, can you silent disco a baby? I was thinking, like, silent disco. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. You have that's possible or not. Well you do see pictures of You know people at festivals with a little baby headphones on their kids, but they are their noise canceling headphones as opposed to

Musically silent disco. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm here. It's the opposite. Okay. What we are suggesting now is very much the opposite, yes, for a... I guess if the volume was, I mean, headphones for a baby, you know what it would want to be? You know those headphones that used to get on the original Walkman that were like just little flat foam kind of discs that didn't really have a sort of like,

you couldn't really get into the like flush against your ears. They didn't go inside your ears. I feel like they would probably be safe enough for a little baby. Could you do that? And then you're both enjoying the music. Is there anything sort of behind? I know I'm always sort of jumping to the conspiracy theories.

But is there any, is the dad trying to send a message in some way? Oh, he's suddenly... Just saying, I'm just saying. I just heard that she has a dancing queen. Yeah. 7am. That's fair game, isn't it?

I think any, I think seven is fine to be doing dancing. If it was five, you might have a case there, but I think 7 a.m. onwards in your own house. I think it's kind of okay. I mean, maybe I, you know, I'm just getting, I'm just used to getting up early now, but... Who wants, who wants dance time at that time, no? Does baby, does baby even know? How old's baby? Eight month old. Right, right, right. So, his baby like, you know, eight month old baby would want dance time. Would enjoy dance time, yeah. Oh no, I know, but do they want it at seven in the morning? Like if dance time becomes 1130, is baby gonna care? Is baby gonna be like, where's my tunes? So, we're gonna be like, go. Well,

no, in the morning at seven, we have tummy time, which is actually a bit quieter than the next time. Dance time is 11 o'clock. Oh, babe, everyone likes, you know, like, that's what I'm saying is like. So you think the dads get, but then also maybe the dad only gets to spend, maybe the dads going off to work and only gets, you know, half an hour with the baby and the most.

Does it want to talk to it? Well, you can talk and dance at the same time. That's the, you know, that's the music. No, the music's a lot of the music. No, the music's a lot of volume. You make a good point. Maybe everything he wants to say to the baby is in the lyrics of that electric six song. Maybe just take a picture. I've got something to put in you. It's this rust. Yeah. That's a good, is a good song to play while you're feeding baby, actually, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I've got something to put in you. It's a little bit of mashed potato. So this is actually quite a heartwarming story that maybe it's all about a mental shift in terms of like, maybe she should start to think think maybe Lydia might try gratitude in the morning like I'm so privileged to hear this amazing moment between father and baby. I think and I think the the happy compromise is that the dad and the baby start letting her make requests. And then she gets a couple of songs every dance time and therefore then she gets to a feel a bit of a part of it and it takes the edge off, you know, hearing other people's tunes at that time in the morning. So, you know, she may, she might mellow the mood a little bit. That's the problem if

she's on morning songs, you know, she might bring in a bit of velvet underground and mellow their buzz a little bit But I'd concede one or two songs to her. Yeah, so she can feel like she's a part of it Yeah, it's almost like picking her choosing her alarm clock in a way exactly right Yeah, I mean the right song You that might wake it up to a good song, do you? I also think maybe if you can't beat him, get down there and join him. Get down and get involved in it. I think you'd be surprised how quickly you can wake up and feel good if you spend 10

minutes dancing around with eight month old baby. I think it's better than a cup of coffee for making you feel excited about the day. I like what, a cup of coffee with a baby. Yeah, I have a cup of coffee with a baby. I really like it. I don't want kids to grow much taller than she is at the moment.

I really, you know, she's already almost taller than me. So let's not, you know, let's keep you manageable, all right? But yeah, I think you're absolutely right, Freya. It's a reframing. You've got a reframing, this is something good. Because it's almost like Joe Wicks is having a little break now, and this could be, this is just like having Joe Wicks in your house every

morning. Come on down, have a dance, set yourself up for the day. So, Luke, yeah. Joe Wicks is gearing up for his second shift that's about to kick you. He's liberating. He's having a break for good reason, he knows he's about to be busy again. So yeah, so basically get the lung on to pay for it. Beef's old. Smashed a cat through the window, getting the house down, leave the country, change up to

Trevor. Yeah. Beef from the zoning I can beef! It's soft. Freya, did you have a beef that you wanted us to have a look at. Yeah, I've got a couple, but I appreciate we might only have time for one. It's another washing up related. I was going to say we've already touched on the cutlery. Yeah, yeah.

And this is that sometimes, slash every time, the, you know, you come into your kitchen in the morning, fill up the kettle, ooh, there's still water in the sink, of the cutleries in there, but what else is in there? A wooden spoon. Oh, no. And I'm like, why would you leave a wooden spoon in dirty dish water when it's porous? And that spoon is just like,

that spoon is drinking it in. Yeah. So I guess my beef. It's a crack right down the middle. Yeah so I guess I'm just... A massive wooden spoon. I've got yeah it's just it's it's more like a paddle now. It's splitably huge. Yeah I guess that's my beef it's sort of why why would you do that and why would you not think that's just gonna drink in all that of why would you do that and why would you not think

That's just gonna drink in all that dirty water. I better take it out even if I you know the knives and pox they're all metal That logic is sound it's not right, but it's sound The wooden spoon. Yeah, can ask you a question. Are you a wash basin or are you a fill the sink up kind of person? I'm actually a fill the sink up kind of guy Yeah, me too me too, but my wife would like to get a wash basin and are you a filter sink up kind of person. I'm actually a filter sink up kind of guy. Yeah me too, me too, but my wife would like to get a wash basin and for some reason I don't and I can't explain why I don't take to them. It feels like a bowl in a sink. A washing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a hat on a hat, isn't it? It is a hat on a hat, yeah. What are you gaining? You're gaining a big plastic box that you then have to put somewhere. Okay. During the rest of the day, yeah. What are you galing? You're galing a big plastic box that you then have to put somewhere during the rest of the day. Where's it go the rest of the day? It ends up wet.

You put it on top of the dry dishes. It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, there's no, I mean, if you've got a sink, if you trust you sink. Trust you sink, clean your sink. Trust you sink. You've got to back your thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'd like to step in and I think this is in terms of the. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd love to hear the counter argument.

Because apparently it's a British thing. Americans don't think they're confused by the washing up bowl. But if you've only got one sink, then if you've got, if you're washing something that's particularly dirty, you don't, that's all going to go in the bowl. And it's instantly going to make all the water terrible. Whereas you can rinse it off down the side of the washing up bowl and keep the preserve the water in the bowl so it doesn't get that mucking right.

Oh, I would say it's... It's for a Santé, right? If you've got one of those little rinsing things, or sicing, some, then you don't need it. I guess if I'm washing my paint cup would cut in the sink. If it's going to make that much mess, I'm hosing it off outside. I'm hosing it down. I'm not bringing that to the land where. Do you have to watch out because they are very porous, Kat?

They'll inflate. They'll inflate. They're in flight, is. But then, you're not just, say, you wash all the stuff that's not dangerously soiled first. You do all your glasses and your cutlery first. Get that all out of the way. Well, the classic anyway, you're in the middle. Yeah. Then you do your plates, get out the way. Maybe after the plates, you might even go to a second sink of water.

Yeah. Drain and start again. You know what, you know, your system clock, he does make a lot of sense. I'm coming around to the idea. I mean, it's cumbersome though. Where'd you put the chest? And also, it encroaches on your washing space. Yeah, I've just moved into a new house.

It's got a much bigger sink and I love it. It's like a bathtub. Okay. If I wait, now it's basically a bathtub. It's next, it's next to the toilet. Is that a... Now I think about it. It's next the toilet. It's upstairs. Yeah, no, it's a bathtub. I've got a bathtub, guys. I've got a bath, I've got it. Okay, well let's vote then, plastic bowl or sink. I guess that's it, it's a straight shoe, isn't it? Yeah.

I'm going to go sink. It's got to be sink for me, yeah. It's got to be sink. I'm going bowl, he's going bowl, yeah. No one's been convinced at all then, this is arguments in the modern world, isn't it? Yeah. Well you all go, oh I want to know what, I really would love to know at the other side, I want to get a bit of balance. No. No, isn't it? Yeah. Well, you all go, oh, I want to know what's, I really would love to know the other side. I want to get a bit of balance.

Nah, but I'm not going to judge what I'm doing. No, I'm not going to judge what I'm doing. Yeah, I thought that. Very, very, very, very cogent argument there from Clarky, but still, fuck that. So, not enough. So, we're talking about, but we're not here to talk about this, that beef.

We're here to talk about the sink left overnight full of dingy water that you have to then, because also as well, you've got to put your hand in it just to let the water out. Yeah, a lot of money man. That's a nightmare. That is a nightmare. It's opposite of dancing to electric six. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you know, you get... When you're just mourning shit in me. It does, because you've got up with the sun. You're doing it yoga, you're doing your morning pages, you're meditated, you're feeling good. You've kicked the opera singer out of the garden. You've given him a right good kick in as well. You've given him an invoice as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to kitchen and you're like, oh, what, I've got to deal with this now. And then that's it, your whole day is scuppard. It's just ruined. Yeah, yeah. I feel it. I feel it. What's the solution? I mean, are you, are you usually first to bed? Or do you have a sort of shared bedtime? Well, we're not, we're not that regimented, but

it's probably, it's probably about equal. I think it needs to be part of the part of the nighttime routine. It might be a bit past ag but in the same way that like you know you've got to check that the back doors is locked up or whatever you've got to check the windows are closed you've got to check. Yeah well you know all the extra appliances aren't running maybe that needs to be it needs to be part of it. Check the sink hasn't been in it's flippably left. Check the sink. Full of water and wooden sticks. I mean, I'm not saying you have to do it yourself.

I'm saying, you can be like, I'm just gonna check the back door. I'm just gonna check all the windows are closed. You might check in the sink, just, you know, easy breezy. That's the level of battle. That level of pass out, yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually, yeah, I can see that working actually. Oh, oh, did you check the sink?

Like that. I mean, the tone you might want to work on it every much. Oh, oh, did you check the sink? Like that. I mean, the tone you might want to work on it every time. OK, very high. Check this. It's just a pinch. Check the sink.

Check the sink. Check the sink. Maybe check the sink. Two different voices there. One that sounds like a dog. One can only be heard by dogs. So you've got to pick somewhere in between, I say, go.

Check the sink. Get a sink. That's actually more dog like that. Oh, there it goes. Check the sink. Yes. That's a key more dog like that. Oh, got it. Check the sink. Oh, actually, I like that. So it's a bit playful. And by a puppet.

That's good. By the dog puppet. In case it all through the puppet. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, I know. Check the sink. Here comes watch dog. Oh, yeah. Have you done all your... Have you checked the sink? Check the sink. Here comes Watchdog. Oh yeah. Have you done all your avioued check the sink?

Check the sink. Check the fucking sink. This is great guys. This is great. This is so worth the ball. Watch the fucking spoon. Watch the fucking spoon. I'm fucking credit. I've done it. Yeah, nice. So it goes a bit down. Kiss your mug with that mug.

Yeah. Hahaha. Oh, I like, I do think, you know what, I think Watchdog is a really, really good way of solving minor household beefs. It's very playful. Because also, we're not saying that I'm assuming it's your partner that you've got the beef, but we're not saying that your partner can't also use Watchdog. I don't know, are we? No, we're saying that. Tell you what, you know what, I'm sorry, that you know why I suggest that watchdog is PD. It's not, it's just for you. It's just for you.

He can have his own watch animal. Yeah. Look, I'm just thinking it's Corona times, we don't really want to be sharing puppets. As I'm saying. As I'm saying. You've got to think of it. Look, I'm just thinking it's Corona times. We don't really want to be sharing topics. As long as I'm saying. As long as I'm saying. You've got to think in it a lot. Well, will you come back and tell us how Watchdog gets on? Yeah, I will. Thank you so much.

That's just, I'm sort of looking forward to delivering again. Can you bring Watchdog with you next time you come? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Watchdog if active. Would you mind if we booked Watchdog? Absolutely fine. Yeah, I'll pass that on. There's only so many fence beefs we can have to rebook it.

So, we're at least watchdog, we get cod lunch. Freya, thanks so much for coming on the show. Oh, pleasure. You want to, anything you want us to plug when this episode goes out? No. OK. Ah!

So it goes out. No. OK. Ah. Ah. No, not really. Couple of bits, sort of canceled. So canceled. So next year, just look out, just look out for me.

I'm coming. I thought about you. If you do want to hire Freya, she's very good. Yeah. Did you write on spitting image? Everyone, I really wanted to put a tweet that was like, Hey guys, really pleased for an hour, I didn't write on the new spitting image show. I started to feel like I was the only one in the comedy world who did work on the new spitting image show. I have written for spitting image,

but they're not picking up the phone, so technically yes. And is that actually exactly what happened to the overall? I did submit a sketch, never got reply. Oh, actually, I'm doing a real life gig, I've just remembered. I'm right. With a completely called Country Mile. So Google Country Mile Productions. And there's loads of, they're doing some live gigs finally.

Oh amazing, lovely, finally. Finally. You're always wondering when a country mile going to pull their bloody finger out. I know. And it was a live gig. And is it, are they called that because you have to be a country mile from the audience just for some reason? I believe so, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They really take it to the extreme, don't they? You are a mile between each act. Yeah, it's a, it's a megaphone, not a microphone, that's yeah, yeah, yeah. They really take it to the extreme, don't they? You really, yeah. You are a mile between each act.

Yeah, it's a megaphone, not a microphone. That's the vibe. You get a megaphone, they get a telescope. It was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just, it just, it feels good. It feels really good. Yeah, it's good to be back.

Right, Freya, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's been so fun having you. Nice to see you. Nice to see you. Yeah, I love to see you. Nice to see some of the human beings, you know? You know? You know?

You know? Okay, we're gonna go now, Freya, thanks. From the starting of your business! There you go, what a treat now. Look, if you enjoyed that episode and you're after a bit more content, then why don't you hop over to the Patreon and join our Patreon community. Absolutely. Yes, if you pledge $5 a month or above, then you get a bonus episode. I mean, you get three bonus episodes a week. It's pretty exciting. And also, you get the complete

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You tell us, listen to it all. Listen, we don't know what the future holds. As we're recording this, who knows if you're gonna have a lot more time in your hands, fingers crossed, we don't know what the future holds. As we're recording this, who knows if you're going to have a lot more time in your hands, fingers crossed, you don't, but nevertheless. Yeah, so patreon.com forward slash pappy'sflat share, get on over to that. Beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com if you want to get in touch and send us your beefs. And also, obviously, leave us a review on iTunes.

You must have some, especially. Absolutely right. Today's episode was produced by Corsum Team. Corsum Team. Corsum Team. Cheers everyone. Bye! All right everybody.

All right everybody. All right everybody. All right all right all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right! Here's the best thing about the Patreon neighborhood watch role call y'all. The more upstanding you get, those patrons, they just stay the same age, baby! All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. Let me tell you, these patrons do stay the same age because we're still doing patrons who joined us in March.

H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D.

H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D. H.B.D a backlog Let me tell you. You caught in these things. They don't seem to fucking move it all Let me tell you about this patreon alright I was hanging out the back of my car the other day And I drove past this patron and he shot me a look and let me tell you that look was wanton oh baby yeah alright alright I said watch your name and he wouldn't tell me but I guess it was Gary panton Gary why would you tell me your name you're really strong guest there. Oh, right. Wow. Won't you tell me your name? Gary tell me your name

All right Well, let me tell you the other day. I saw this dude. He was hanging out the back of a sedan Oh Any shot me Thought he was gonna shoot me a look and if the last minute he pulled out a gun he shot me. Oh, he was gonna shoot me a look and at the last minute he pulled out a gun. He shot me. Straight in the eye. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I just, he shot me straight in the eye. I just laughed, baby. I just laughed and said, I will. Because his name was Declan Crawwell All right, all right, and he wouldn't tell you his name He wouldn't tell me his name, but I guess did it with that possibly Crafwell, but I know I could spell it, but I couldn't say it It's an approximate is name

It's an approximation, all right, all right, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, Listen man, I was walking down the road the other day. Whoa! Yeah, I was hanging on to the back of a car! Whoa! It's a hell of a way to walk! Yeah, well, unfortunately I forgot my skateboard so I was... Oh!

I was wondering why you were three-foot-shorter. I've got been dragged along... I've got been dragged along... I was wondering why you were three-foot-short. You all got me in the back the long sneakers. He dragged along back up. He dragged along my sneakers. This guy, he was walking past. He was like, hey man. Hey man. He ran.

I said, don't worry man. In spite of how I look, I'm feeling fine. Uh oh. Oh no. Oh no. He's feeling fine. I'm feeling fine. He would tell me his name.

But I imagine it was James. His name. It's James O'Brien. Oh yeah. I was going along the road the other day I was hanging off the back of a skateboard, yo. And that skateboard was hanging off the back of a car. I was human centipede in myself down the lane. And I saw this patron.

He humiliated you. He humiliated yourself. I was tying myself in knots. And this patron. And this patron. Who is that? That was the movie. Who dreams is about? Oh, yeah. Guy in human centipedes himself. Who nightmares, baby? I was putting myself. I was putting myself down the lane. And the guy liked it and he said I like to know that yeah he said I've got a libido son and I said that's not good enough won't you tell me your name but he wouldn't tell me his name I had a guess and I was right his name was Simon I misson Simon I Ibson. Oh, baby. He would tell me his

name. He wouldn't tell me his name. Oh my God. The other day I was doing a handstand on top of a car. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. I just want to just defer any listeners out there. We do know the difference between Michael J. Fox and Matthew McConaughey. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. I mean, the rough them would tell us their names. But we don't know the difference between the films back to the future and Teen Wolf. Teen Wolf. All right.

No way. Baby. All right. All right. Right. The other day, I was doing a handstand on top of a car. Oh, yeah. I said, let's go, baby. Oh yeah, why not? That's a good thing to say at that moment. Because the car was stationary.

You know what, it's far less impressive. So I said, slap, slap, let's go, baby. And now we went, we went down the road. We were affected. You're re're berating didn't I? I've got six stars now I said let's go baby Yeah, you know when you see the uber that's coming down the street the little icon and it's spinning around and around and going crazy up and down That means I'm on the roof. Extra service.

It went down. And does that app tell you who the driver is or wouldn't tell you your name? And you would never tell me the driver's name. We went down this street, we went down the lane. And it wouldn't tell me the driver's name. We even went down an alley. And I guess that the driver must be Sarah Mallet.

All right, all right. All right. I wouldn't tell me her name. All right, all right, I was hanging on to a car the other day. I was stuck in many of these two. This one is going, this one's going long. This one's going the distance beam it all the way yeah I was hanging on to the bottom of the car the other day oh he flipped reverse

dude he didn't need it's golden there keep fear keep fear starring Michael J. Fats all right all right all right all right I was hanging on to the top of the car, thickened at the movies of Jim Henson. Oh, baby. I tried to get the person in the car to stop by shouting a name, but she would tell me what it was. Oh, baby. But I imagined it was Georgina Jensen. This car was hanging on to the back of me the other day

Will pick it back in a sedan, baby. I was pretending to surf riding the wavy's and My friend was there Ross Davies. He'd tell me his name He'd tell me his name if it could but he can Baby the other day. Let me tell you the other day I was doing the splits on top of two trains going two different directions. He would say nice. And I had an expression on my face that could only be described as solid. And I said to the train driver on the left foot, won't you tell me your name? She wouldn't, but I guess there must have been a Rachel Kullen. She wouldn't tell you her name.

She wouldn't tell me her name. I was hanging on to the back of a car the other day. Face to face with a sticker that said, how am I driving? I thought to myself, that too well. But I will tell you this, the sticker was written in a gorgeous font. Oh yeah. And the driver I imagine with Peter Beaumont. But he wouldn't tell you his name.

He wouldn't tell me his name. Or Staggler car. I got a phone call the other day. Someone. You were hanging out the back of a phone. Oh, right. A ratchet. I got the phone call you someone rang me up

and told me how clock it was driving I said how do you know that he said it's because my name is John knows that's a fact he told me his name he told me his name. He told me his name. Oh, baby, the other day I was watching an episode of Country Files. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was an old episode. Yeah, it was an old reference. It was an old reference.

It was an old episode of Country Files and it was hosted by a man called John Craven. It's cool. But let me tell you now. He's straight down the line. Let me tell you now. He wouldn't tell me his name. So I had to call up my friend and say I'm watching an old episode of Country File. Who's hosting it all right, all right, all right?

And he said it's John Craven and I said thank you, Adam Raven. I guessed his name. You guessed his name. I went and guessed my old name, my child. I was hanging on to the back of a car the other day. Oh baby. All right, all right. We drove past an accident.

Oh, no Rubinnecker Rubinnecker. Well, I wouldn't look. Oh, because me, I ate no Rubinnecker. But I tell you who is. Rubinnecker. Rubinnecker Rubinnecker Rubinnecker Rubinnecker Rubinnecker Rubinnecker Rubinnecker. I got a phone call the other day. who is Rebecca. Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca. I got a phone call the other day. Oh, you got a phone call the other day.

So, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't,

I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, don't, I don't, I don't, I don Oh, I'll back it at the back of my old car. I said, now, who's this? Who's rang me up to be so sassy, all right, all right? All right, all right. They wouldn't tell me their name. They wouldn't tell me their name. Even though I could tell by that voice that it was Liddy, you mess a.

Oh, my good gracious, all right, all right. Oh, all right. Okay, here we go, baby. Let me tell you. Oh, baby. Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. Okay. Let me tell you the other day I was making a suet pudding

Really? Oh baby I was making a suet pudding and I was on the back of a pickup truck on a polka stick As a consequence of the movement of the polka stick and the pickup truck I Got to tell you now. I got the semolina wrong. Oh no, oh no. No. And I had to call up a friend and say, why do I do when I've got the semolina wrong, but you wouldn't tell me her name even though I knew it was Vida, Emolina Long. Absolutely superb.

Oh, super. Everybody. Thank you, everybody. even though our new world was Vida Emilina Long. Absolutely superb work. Superb! You've been about it. Thank you everybody. I was hanging on to the back of a trailer the other day. He was hanging on to the back of a trailer the other day. He was on the road. Going down the road.

The driver. All right, all right. Sorry, the wing mirror. Slammed on the brakes I would fly in right into the toba Oh Oh The baby maker I think came in that's what's up? Brian Baker? Well that can be. Stede's Patreon neighborhood watch Roll Call, alright?

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