Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Josie Long S10E26

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Josie LongJosie Long - https://twitter.com/JosieLongPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetWe're LIVE ONLINE again with Flatshar...e Slamdown on the 8th July at 8pm (BST) with special guests Dara Ó Briain and Sophie Duker. Get your tickets NOW!https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-with-dara-o-briain-and-sophie-duker-tickets-110395945244If you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to beefbrotherspodcast@gmail.comSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Greetings, Mr. Deeds! That time again, where we get to say, Whoa! Yeah! Hey, baby! we're inside your rick now. Oh, yeah, hey baby, here we are and we're doing it now. Oh, yeah, baby, thanks for joining us, you're welcome. I'm Tom! I'm Ben! And I'm Matthew and welcome to a lovely episode of Papi's Flat Share Beef Brothers Cold Cuts.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Beef Brothers Soning out your beef clothes! It's almost the jingle, yeah. So, welcome to the show everybody. We've got a fantastic guest in Josie Long today. A long time friend, first ever, ever, just to say hello. Sorry. I'll have to remind a little bit. It's all right, please don't worry about it, Tom.
Starting point is 00:01:10 But the show itself turned out great. Don't be dis-rated by the fact that we're all falling apart. I think I'm very much clocked off when the recording finished. Well, the recording hasn't finished, Tom. Ah! The recording is coming out. Therein' was the rub. That's the problem. Yes, so anyway, we have a lovely chat with Josie,
Starting point is 00:01:25 and you can listen to that in just a second, but we would like to remind you that we're doing a live flat share slam down over Zoom. We've done tour already, they've been really, really good fun, and you can watch it live on the internet if you go to eventbright.co.uk and you look for Pappies Flat Share. We've got a two amazing guests this time around.
Starting point is 00:01:43 We have, yes, we've got Dario Brie and the brilliant Sophie Ducca. It's gonna be a real treat. It's on the 8th of July. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And Ticket to Refirever, but if you work for the NHS, they are completely free.
Starting point is 00:01:55 And if you are a member of our Patreon, they're also discounted. So a great reason to join the Patreon, patreon.com, or forward slash Papi's flat share. And just a great reason to see us all through your computer screens. Yes, and if you haven't joined the Patreon then we're also putting out three, four.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Four episodes a week, every day of the week day you're getting content during lockdown. So please join the Patreon community. That's at patreon.com forward slash Pappy's probably. Is it Pappy's? No, it's not Pappy's probably, it's Papi's flat share. But, you know, there you go. If you search Papi's flat share on any of those things,
Starting point is 00:02:29 you'll find it, or if you go to our Twitter, there's always, I'm always trying to plug it there. But yeah, but, oh, I tell you what, Tom, I've just remembered I've got a special treat for you. Oh, really? I've got a real treat for you, Tom. Now, regular contributor to the Patreon, Dr. Zappzaineaxon-Horns.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Yes. Very good friend of Brian Shelf, if you're familiar with Brian Shelf. He got in touch to say that he has done a remix. You know, in the House Meeting last episode, you were talking about the house music going in your imagination. Oh, yeah, I was, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Well, Tom, listen to this. Weirdly like with the production levels in my head. Production levels in my head. Production levels in my head. Production levels in my head. Production levels in my head. Production levels in my head. The sound of Ibiza in the summer. This is the raw stuff.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Steady and quick. This is the stuff stuff. Steadily unqueeved. This is the stuff like DJ Shutter. Coming off mic too. This is the raw stuff. Ah, sweetie. This is the stuff like DJ Shutter. Oh my god. A bit of bass.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. But then the hi-hat. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I mean, we're listening to this on what would have been glass-tumbly weekend, but I felt like I was there. Yeah, it's something like
Starting point is 00:04:31 Shangri-la. Like a deep in Shangri-la there, you know. It was there, that's something else, isn't it? Can we play, can we play out the episode with that? Oh yeah, we'll stick it at the end as well. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's going to. We're now going to go into the actual theme tune of the show, it's going to seem very sedate compared to that. I'm going to live. Thank you very much, Dr. C, that is great, great work. Just enjoy this episode now with Josie Long. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem call it a B, if you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from the starting of your bee. All cuts.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Right, well thank you so much for coming on the show, Josie. It's my pleasure, we started. Yeah, let's start, let's call this the start. Hey, how are you? I'm really, really good, thanks very much. Yeah, how are you dealing with lockdown? Well, we're in a very weird place at the moment, aren't we? It's sort of between, because it's like the threat is still there, but everyone is pretending it isn't.
Starting point is 00:05:34 It's an interesting time for us all. I'm really fine, I can't complain, but I will. Now. Are you being, would you, would you put yourself on the cautious end of the spectrum instead of going around in a boat? Yeah, we're not doing anything extra. I mean, she does go to nursery. So that might define us as in cautious, but we think that's where she gave it to us from in early March. So we're a little bit like. It's always been around. So you've had it, you've had it already. We think we have, obviously we didn't get tested, but my breathing is still
Starting point is 00:06:11 impaired. So it does sound like the dreaded coronavirus doesn't it? Oh my god, I'm glad you're safe now, I'm glad you're all right. And yeah, because that's a thing with a little kid, as you can't get them to social distance, can you? And I also, it's really hard to teach them because you don't want to permanently teach them. You don't want to be saying to them, listen, it's really important. You want to be like, we're just playing this game.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Where we, it is like, I mean, she did get very, very confused when we were finally allowed to kind of see people at distance again. So she'd not seen anyone for like three months or something like that. And it was quite upsetting for her suddenly to see people again. She was really like, it's almost like she was like, what the fuck were you just lying to me the whole time then? Like, where's this thing? There are people out there. I don't just exist on Zoom. Yeah, I mean, getting confused, you can't really blame her,
Starting point is 00:07:09 because I think literally everyone in the country is confused about it. No one knows, are we supposed to still wear masks? I've heard we are, but then I went to Tesco yesterday and no one was bothering. It's just, I don't know, what are we supposed to do? Also, I think the mask thing, because people know that the most effective thing
Starting point is 00:07:27 it does is stop you transmitting it as opposed to stop you getting it. If you're a selfish person, you're like, oh, I've done of it. Yeah, I don't have it. It's not going to stop me getting it. So it was point. Oh, wait, hang on a second. It doesn't stop me getting it. I don't know when I'm asked the entire time.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Now I find out. Do you not find wearing a mask a bit cool? I love it. Like I've got some kind of sunglasses on, yeah. I'm like the invisible man. Mask sunglasses, headphones. Yeah. Yeah, I got a cool top hat. Yeah, my mom bought me like a cool mask the other day.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Like, it's like a wolves mask and it's got the shape of her, like a slight design of a wolf on it and like the wolves logo. And now I feel like I'm stepping out. I feel like I've got a new pair of sunglasses. I've never gonna get into mask fashion unless you are winning it with everything else you're wearing and then divine.
Starting point is 00:08:26 I'm treating it like a punch trunk installation and just like wondering, wondering around, like I've got like cart blanche. Just turn up. Turn up people's chances. This is great guys, this is amazing. You've got to stop dragging people down in alleyway and delivering a monologue to them, right? You've got to stop doing it, mate. I never will, I never shall. That's the only thing we've got now. It people down in alleyway and delivering a monologue to them, right? You've got to stop doing it, mate. I never will, I never shall.
Starting point is 00:08:46 That's the only thing we've got now. It's true, it's true. I was thinking about this the other day. Now, I don't know if this is the case, but you know, bingo halls are open. Yeah. Can we just rebrand comedy nights as bingo nights? I mean, we were barely passing for comedy anyway. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:09:08 I think a shift into being bingo callers isn't a bad shape for us anyway. Can I make the point that? I thought that the reason they weren't letting people do theatre was because they couldn't be liable for performance. But a bingo caller asks a performer. He is a performer. Exactly. And you know what? The bingo callers are sick a performer. He is a performer. Exactly. And you know what, the bingo caller is a second time people not acknowledging that, so
Starting point is 00:09:27 they'll be really, the bingo caller's association will be delighted with this episode. Oh, the BCA. The BCA, it will be supported by the BCA, but yeah. Can I be controversial here? I know the BCA won't thank me for this, but can they in mecca, for example, or other countries? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, There's like a kind of Barry Scott figure who just appears as a hologram in every bingo school.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Bang! Yeah. Bang! It's just a spank for every two. Bang! He's got one catch phrase for every number. Bang, bang, bang! Three!
Starting point is 00:10:19 Oh, he's going to be getting into that. Oh yeah. You don't want to get tonight in hide. Oh, I see. Bang, not finished. Bang. If we could add an element of bingo into our shows anyway, though, it would probably improve them.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Yeah, I think bingo, if you said pretty much anything. If you said like during my routine, someone's going to win 25 Nika. I think people would like really get involved, wouldn't they? Absolutely. No, especially if it was at random, because it's really luck, isn't it, Bingo? It's not skill. It's just luck. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, the beast game, right? Like that. It's a sport and it should be recognised to self-finally, remember getting it to Tokyo? People have start respecting it or in the
Starting point is 00:11:01 countries. start respecting it or in the countries. Um, can, um, so what you would do then is you'd give someone every audience member coming in would have a word and that word is in your routine. And if you say that word three times they get to show, uh, ay, ay, all bingo, yeah, you're right, just, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, and then you give them 25 Nika. That's not a bad idea, actually. Hi, this is really fun, but I've just noticed that my tomatoes have sprouted a tomato.
Starting point is 00:11:33 It's the first tomato of the year. Oh, congratulations to the tomato plant. I can't do, do, do, do, do. Is it, it's not like ready to go? It's not, it's not edible. You can't do it at a taste testing sadly not but if you took it off it had a big go abroad it Can I show you guys my charge which is been an out and out failure yeah of course look at that It's been like slugs of like glad on it
Starting point is 00:12:02 Slugs of like glob don't it We're being burnt away Slug it's charlock life, isn't it? Bang As anyway thanks a couple of other podcasts Thanks for playing Bingo with us today, JC Sorry, you're not one of the 25 NICA. So we know obviously you're growing your own veg, but what kind of a, what kind of a flatmate are you
Starting point is 00:12:33 to your partner and child? Well, I wouldn't say I'm the best, but I would say a two-year-old is the fucking worst flatmate you can have. Absolutely, yeah. Don't answer the question, just three-year-kid on the bus. Love it. LAUGHTER Well, you're not the best at you as well, you're not the worst. Yes, what's saying is, I am the polish, the polish that Goldie looks like.
Starting point is 00:12:55 LAUGHTER And, you know, people need to accept that. Like, I... LAUGHTER For example, I tied the up at the end of the day. Right. I ate. You the end of a day. Right. You were fair share of chores.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Yep. My daughter literally, quite literally took a shit on the rug. Oh, no. That is a good stuff. That's a bad house for you. Was it a statement or an accident? Didn't I, the rug? She got very excited last night for the first time she wanted to do a
Starting point is 00:13:26 wheel on the potty and I thought, oh my god, this is brilliant. I've got a baby who's self-training. But then I think the poo was like, that was too frightening for us as she was like. I've got to do it. Still the right. On a comfortable place. Yeah, I've got to do it on the rug. Did she then spread it out a bit?
Starting point is 00:13:45 Did she then see the whole new world as well? That's what I was talking about. That's what I was talking about. She said to me, I did a poopoo at home. That's how she described it. I knew she was that old. She sort of knows the sort of the basic geography of where she should be pooing.
Starting point is 00:14:01 It just needs to whittle it right down to in the potty not on the rug. Yeah. So is the rug a right off? No, to be honest, I picked it straight up, just to be able to. But I've stuck a rule. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Oh. Pop it on you tomatoes. In my work. Yeah, work a bit of fertilizer. I've got that on the chart. And a very, very least it'll disade the slugs, won't it? Or were still the slugs, I think, it's a mate and try and get off with it.
Starting point is 00:14:32 LAUGHTER Shall we get into our email? Shall we get into our... I've got it on that. No, it's really, on that. Yeah. Gianni has got in touch via Beef Brothers podcast at gmail.com.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Get in touch guys. Thank you Janet. Oh, hi. My beef is with my partner of 10 years. OK. He has had several different jobs whilst we have been together. And I always have the same issue. He makes friends with everyone, as he is a very likable and funny person, but
Starting point is 00:15:07 he always gets included into the girl gangs at his place of work. What I mean? I don't know if I'm being glady. Well I mean, I don't know if I'm making much sense, but he gets access to the gossip and girly chats that usually men are not invited to join in to. That sounds incredible. Why should she enjoy hearing them secondhand? There is nothing better than second or thirdhand gossip about people you don't know. So, I mean, that's it.
Starting point is 00:15:40 I obviously... There's no consequence to it as well, you know. It doesn't affect you in any way. You just get juicy. It's like watching the soaps. You're getting's no consequence to it as well. It doesn't affect you in any way. You just get juicy. It's like watching the soaps. You're getting soaps pumped directly into your house. Anyway, sorry. I was going to say, it's like watching the wrestling. You can choose the shit you're in about me.
Starting point is 00:15:53 And you can go for it. Who's that heal? Doesn't everyone get soaps? Don't pump directly into their house. Isn't that how soaps work? You make a very, very good point. But you've got to have to pay your team a license for this. You've got to stop going to the picture house
Starting point is 00:16:07 to watch neighbours. Lockdown's been really, really hard for me. I haven't seen it for so many standards for absolutely yonks, mate. So, here we go. Why mean? I don't know if I'm making much sense, but he gets access to the gossipy and girly chats that usually men are not invited to do any in two.
Starting point is 00:16:23 I obviously don't mind in general as I then also get to hear about the best gossip in his workplace, straight from the bitchiest girls in the office. I stand for this. However, he is always getting messages from the girls in the office. Via the girls WhatsApp groups and invited out by the girls singularly, which yes is a little frustrating as I know his intentions are friendship based, but maybe the other person is seeing his acceptance as more than friends? I don't know. Recently whilst carrying out one of the many Zoom quizzes with his work, He was receiving messages from another of the girls and they were bitching about someone on the group whilst I sat writing
Starting point is 00:17:12 the answers to another question about Henry VIII. I felt a bit miffed, should I be? PS, I have never worried about infidelity and he is definitely straight from Janet. Okay Janet, right. Here's the thing with the message. I think we got to the crux of it towards the end. I think it's that you feel left out. Nothing to do with girls and boys. It's nothing to do with gender. It's to do with you thinking he's a bit more excited by his friends than I am, than he is with me, sorry, than he is with me. And I can totally appreciate how frustrating it must be to be in a quiz when the person next to you is not getting involved in the quiz
Starting point is 00:17:55 and it's just texting because I've been both sides of that. Yeah, yeah. So I know what I'm doing, it's bad and it's rude and I know when the other person's doing it, it can be bad and rude. So I think it's just a matter of, Janet wants to be more involved in his life. Why not, why not ask him to bring you out with the girls? You're a girl, Janet, you might have fun. J-L-O.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Janet hates women. A-I-A. Oh. Janet hates women. Janet hates women. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh what she's like, no, not women. Wow. How's your partner? You know, has he got the year of women? My partner does. He does have a lot of female friends. A lot of his close friends are women. And do you fight them? No, I don't. women. And do you fight them? No, I don't. I don't really care. I feel really like I think it is coming down to you. I do feel quite secure. Yeah, your time is got friends. It's nice to have friends. It is nice to have friends. I used to have a sign in my house that said
Starting point is 00:19:20 it is nice to have friends. And I sold it so then I made my old home one look I'll show you can you see it it is nice to have friends so so you know so there's the proof there's a friend it is nice to have friends because it is written on the wall well it's nice to have that backed up because I was going out on a limb there. You know what I'm saying? Honestly, I really felt it was like when they changed gears on a narrow path. You were going out on a limb. I've got a picture of you going out.
Starting point is 00:19:56 I've got a picture of you going out. Not that mobile, but I was going out on a limb there. It's like some Darren Brownshire. Have you convinced me to say all these things? I've got a sign that says, what? This is blowing my mind over here. No, the way I feel about this is, I think it's interesting if he seems to only have a preference for having female friends and that might mean something about his psyche
Starting point is 00:20:27 But like you say like it's not intrinsically meaningful Like it probably says things about him and things that maybe wants to work through because it might be quite useful to him to have like a wide range of friends Can I can I just talk you through while I would what the joke I wanted to do here, which is Yes, okay, I'm great. If it wasn't 2020, here's what I would have said. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not gonna show you what's written on my wall, pull it that way. No, the joke I wanted to do is I wanted to spend a lot of time, my phone, basically my phone isn't near me. If my phone was near me, I'd have talked a lot about someone being in a zoom chat while sending bitchy messages about other people in the zoom group and how that isn't particularly a nice thing to do and I would have texted you all.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Yeah. And I'd have been texting you things saying, oh God, I don't think the guys are pulling their way or whatever, you know, like it had been very funny. But. Tom, that actually puts me in mind of my, still it remains one of my favourite jokes you ever did and I've kept it to this day, I've kept it close to my heart which was, Tom and I have been writing all day, we've been writing this sort of adverts for tree ball mince. Do you remember that? It sounds like a job we had.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Do you come up with tree ball mince? Or a minty bit stronger? Yeah, it was a good day. OK, let's just say we had a good day. Am I right in thinking that you stuck them up your bum? No, mate. Lucky, that was your suggestion that we didn't submit. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:06 That was why I didn't get the job on that. They lost a bit longer. That's it. And isn't that true with everything? Where have I put that sign? Sorry. LAUGHTER Yeah, we had a few jobs like that.
Starting point is 00:22:22 We had a job for Hines. You've been to Beans, The Musical Fruit. You must remember that. We had a few jobs like that. We had a job for Hines, beans, beans, the musical fruit, you must remember that. We had a few. We were pleased. Yeah, and the Mill lemonade campaign went really, really well for us. Really strong, really, really strong. It was a chocolate campaign, we should say we were advertising chocolate. But on the day of the... The tree ball. The tree ball, yes. So we were working to get on this thing for tree ball and we The day of the... Trieble.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Trieble, yes. So we were working to go on this thing for Trieble, and we were sort of intermittently checking the gutter press during the day to find out about the exploits of Vernon Kay, who had been caught having a sort of text affair with a page three girl. And we thought it was especially funny that they'd used a photo of Vernon Kay looking at his phone with the most sort of, like it was just clearly him taking a selfie at an awards ceremony,
Starting point is 00:23:13 but it looked like he was looking at his phone going, whoa, whoa. You know, and we weren't really, really laughing at this. Anyway, we then went to, oh, I should also say it was my birthday as well, we then drove to Leicester, did an awful gig in a cinema. Oh, cool. It was a double bill with us in Coronation Street.
Starting point is 00:23:31 We did a, it was a Paul and gig, we died on our ass. I got back in the car with Clarky, we were eating a KFC, and suddenly my phone started banging away, messages from a Vernon K. And this is back in the day when you couldn't see who texted you before it was no sort of Thread of text it was like an old you know Nokia phone and I just started getting the most absolute filth I just like real All the stuff you want to do to me. I couldn't believe that makes it last a bit longer, right? I just lasted But I've kept so it's parried during the interval,
Starting point is 00:24:06 gone to my phone, changed his name to Vernon Kay in my phone. And he is still to this day, Vernon Kay. He remains, on my phone. So people, if people see it ringing, they'll be like, do you know Vernon Kay? One better, one better, maybe. People are like, you don't see very pleased that Vernon Kay is calling.
Starting point is 00:24:23 LAUGHTER Why do you always hang the very pleased that Vernon Kay is calling But yeah, my point being that I do think there is something inherently Someone who's in a in a zoom quiz and they're texting other people who are also in that quiz about People in the quiz. You kinda go like, oh, that's not. It's a dangerous game to play. And you're playing this dangerous game with someone else. And it's like, I think that's the kind of game
Starting point is 00:24:55 you should be playing with the person you're in the Zoom chat with. That's what the mute audio's for, you know? You kinda go, oh God, that fucking no, they're fucking, you know of, you mute your audio. No, you don't, you don't theatrically mug off your audio. You know, like, yeah, I mean, it's pretty obvious what's going on from the mind.
Starting point is 00:25:15 But like, you, you know, it's kind of you mute audio, you share it with your partner, you kind of go, oh, we're on this side of the fence. Whereas like, you're kind of fence hopping a little bit and that might have felt, you know, that might have felt a bit weird for her. It is what you guys are saying. She's forming teams with other people when he ought to be reinforcing his own team.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Oh, very nice way. You're not gonna believe what's on my wall right now. I don't know that. I think, I think, J.C. you've absolutely nailed it. Yeah, I think what you need, you say you're not worried about infidelity, and it's not even about infidelity, I completely believe you, Janet.
Starting point is 00:25:51 You're not worried about infidelity, but I think what you're worried about is just being a bit left out. Well, I think if you took gender out of the issue, if it was like there's somebody else in the Zoom, if like during our Zoom quizzes, I was sad ignoring my partner and texting Crossbow about all the things I wanted to do to him. I feel free, by the way,
Starting point is 00:26:13 to do that, mate. I think gender is something of an issue here. I think it is the slightest. I'm not saying it should affect who you are friends with in any way. It shouldn't. And I'm not saying that like people who like straight men and straight women couldn't be friends, because I really do believe that people can be close friends, best friends, and it's not a sexual thing. But at the same time, it is not, like it's there, it's true that he is a straight man and all
Starting point is 00:26:41 of his friends and women and that some of them might be misconstruing that. So that is something that he might need to like unpick. What sort of vibes? Yeah, unpick it. Unpick it, mate. What sort of vibes is he throwing out? Yes, sit with it. How many, how many kisses are on the end of his text? Do you know something? Americans don't use kisses on the end of his text. Oh, do you know something? Americans don't use kisses on the end of text, so they get really weirded out by British people putting X's on the end of everything. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Why has everyone put an X at the end? They don't know X meaning, surely they're much noticed. Well, they know, but they're weirded out by it because they're like, why is this person kissing me? It is quite a weird thing. I'm now on one or two as standard, sometimes three or four for like just, you know, mates. Oh, whoa, whoa. Sometimes that's like me with exclamation marks. Oh, I love an extra exclamation mark. Why not? My exclamation marks are through the
Starting point is 00:27:39 reef at the moment. I'm genuinely trying to cut back. Sometimes it's just all exclamation marks. It's only, only exclamation marks. It's only exclamation marks. Only exclamation marks. Well, only when we're at halfway through a Zoom quiz. We're going to go to the band chick chick chick. It's a lovely bit of this. It's a gorgeous reference. It's a wonderful reference torn from the early 2000s.
Starting point is 00:27:59 We all remember the new rave, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, up, have a word. How would you phrase that? How would you phrase that? This is Janet's dilemma. How would you phrase it without sounding like an asshole? Or just sounding like you're paranoid. I think as well. We've hit on at least three different, slightly different issues. First of all, texting while you're on a zeeve is just something you can without being an asshole nipping the bud and say, don't do that mate. Me and Clark, you play chess on a zeeve, don't we? Yeah, but I mean, that is rude as well because it is halfway through a quiz. When the quiz is getting long, and my girlfriend will tell me off for that.
Starting point is 00:29:05 So, join our Zoom quiz. Your like chess at the same time. That's sometimes, yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah, sometimes. You guys have a Zoom quiz together with the three of you. Yeah, there's a three of us in a few other people as well. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Oh, like hundreds of people. Like, yeah, about, yeah. I mean, it's not quite a hundred, but it's, it's, well, in the late 90s, yeah. It's probably not the late 90s, and I'm not giving a time out of it. Yeah, we're talking. Round three, the late 90s. Right, well, let's put, we need to put a fork in this beef and move on.
Starting point is 00:29:46 So, Clarky, you were addressing the other two issues. Yeah. Well, I'd say just for the first one, the zoom chat, you could just say, don't do that. That's legit. Yes. That at the buds and just say, come on, mate. Just say you find it a bit rude. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah. Totally fair enough. I wish I knew what work the partner did. I think it would help me to understand. If the partner did something very crucial, or did he know, maybe he's just H.R. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 00:30:18 And she's misread the situation. They all come to him. They all confided in him. They all tell him what's going on in the office. They all come to him, they all confided in him, they all tell him what's going on in the office. No, well, like if he did something that was really, really intense, like if he was an emergency medic or if he was like, that's the only difficult job I can think of, but if that was his job, I think then I would have a lot more sympathy for the bonding because I'd be like, yes, hard work. But if his job was like luxury...
Starting point is 00:30:52 Oh, dear, none of us have proper jobs. We don't know what they are. He's like luxury accounts. Did you say luxury chair, by the way? I was gonna say luxury chair tester. What a life. They just say they've got like the bit just girls in the office and it's the girls in the office WhatsApp group. That doesn't scream paramedic to me. Do you want to meet?
Starting point is 00:31:21 But does his scream luxury chair tester? Let's say he's somewhere in between. An emergency chat. Not technically a key work, but close enough. Sure. Okay, well look, let's say to Janet it might be worth bringing up the Zoom etiquette and also being like, I guess the question is going like, does so and so know you're on my team. I don't know, I don't know what that conversation is
Starting point is 00:31:58 about being an asshole. I wonder as well if you say, look, next time, I mean, obviously it's tricky now in lockdown because no one's going out, but if you say next time, we all go out together, I wanna come as well if you say, look, next time, I mean, obviously it's tricky now and locked down because no one's going out, but if you say next time we all go out together, I wanna come as well, you know, like make me a bigger, I mean, you already, she's already in the quiz. So, you know, make yourself a bigger part of that group,
Starting point is 00:32:17 you know, become indispensable within the group and then they'll be texting you first, Janet. Become the queen bee. Become then take everyone down. Yes. Become the queen bee and then eat the lot of them. Like, mean girls it, mean girls it. Absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Be the bigger bitch. Well, what I meant was infiltrate the plastics and then kind of break up the plastics. Okay, okay. I could, it's good, it's good. Be solved. From the starting I could be solved. Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Starting point is 00:32:54 Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th. Um, Josie, do you want to read this one out? Yes, please.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Okay, am I allowed to critique it as I go? Oh, yeah, I do. Oh, yeah. Okay, dear agents of the beef. My housemate won't stop trying to bring my boss's wife home to my house to bed her. That's quite a- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! My housemate won't stop trying to bring my boss's wife home and my house to bed her.
Starting point is 00:33:40 I'm terrified that if they get found out, I'll get fired. Okay, wait that. Bloody hells bells. This is... Wow, we're out of the gate. It goes on. It's steaming. I bought a house with my wife a year ago. What a show off. Oh, I bought a house! Well, well done you! Who paid for the deposit, mate? Was it parents, but it was? OK. And we agreed to take in a lodger. Oh, a landlord and a prick. Right. Oh, we agreed to come landlord.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Whoa, whoa, whoa. When you said, can I critique this as I go along? I didn't assume you were going to be actually doing a carat of this house mate. It's a carat of this house mate. It's a carat of this house mate. So, Marxist critique. Oh, OK, OK. Marxist critique. Who's this problem? I'm the way. It's a Marxist. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Oh, I'm Marxist. It's a critic. You did specify Marxist, you know. I'm joking. I don't want to assassinate. This is a listener. They deserve to be heard. All of the sympathy in the word.
Starting point is 00:34:35 I bought a house with my wife. Sorry. What does that mean? Hang on a second. Wait, they're a list of the desserts. How dare you. They've been through enough. They've endured.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Unbelievable. Unbelievable horrors. They've been through enough. They've endured and think more horrors. I brought a house in Kauai for a year ago and we agreed to take in a lodger to help us out for the first two years. My childhood friend, who will call Bert. Bert. That's quite funny. Okay. Bert. Bertie Bertie.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Bertie Bertie. Weie, Bertie, Bertie. We knew him. He's fun and he cleans up after himself. He works from home too. But best of all, he looks like Hugo Chavez. Oh, hello. Oh. Hello.
Starting point is 00:35:18 So the chances of him bringing girls home that I'd have to smoletop with with slim, ideal. Now, Mr. B. Bill's Negiously Political Science.s new people to say. Why why is this as an excuse to muddy the waters with a complicated discourse about Venice where there's no need. Also Hugo Chavez I wouldn't say he is like he's he's he's not he's not he's he's charismatic. Gross. Yeah I mean unless he looks like he who get who He's not a kid, he's not, he's charismatic, gross. Yeah, I mean, unless he looks like he'll get who goes to others now, in which case we're dropping. Yeah, and he goes on to say, my flatmate is a zombie.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Okay. Recently, however, things have become less than ideal. At Christmas, my 62-year-old multi-millionaire boss is a bootlicker as well as a scab and a landlord through a big bash for all his companies in a private estate. But upon hearing that my wife couldn't attend, jumped on her invite. Oh, can I just say firstly,
Starting point is 00:36:24 but is giving a real leaf out of his own book to Janet here, isn't he? This is what Janet should be doing. If you see there's an opening, which as partner of somebody works for the firm, there is an opening Janet, get yourself in there. Be more Bert. Get yourself out there. Throw yourself into the spot.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Okay, let's put a pin in that because I don't know whether you're going to... Yeah, because I know what he's gonna say next, which is Bert tried to throw the boxes. That's not the only thing we want you to throw yourself out. Early doors. By the way, that was beautiful. I'm sorry, I just appreciate you. Early doors, he was the perfect guest room. He was charming and pleasant and painted me in a great like to all my colleagues a narcissist a scab and a land He's not treating birth like a friend already is treating birth like what does birth do for me? poor bird Okay, he made everyone laugh and was really enjoying the free drinks being offered on the night. What a mighty good man
Starting point is 00:37:22 and was really enjoying the free drinks being offered on the night. What a mighty good man. Around 11 p.m. with about 11 Fanta Lemon and Captain Morgan's in him. Is that what rich people drink? Oh, no. You're an animal. So dark, right? I'm going to try it. It's good.
Starting point is 00:37:36 If it's good enough for a... It feels like it would... Well, we'll do it during the... It feels like it would... We'll test the other things. It's a good one. Might affect my chess game. Yeah. We'll do it. It feels like it would. We'll test each other if it's a good one. Might affect my chess game.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Five exclamation marks. He likes it. Hey, just right. Hey, Bert went A. Well, he just couldn't be found. I searched for him for about half an hour, feeling that he might have just wandered home. I began to leave. On my way, I stumbled across him with the boss's wife and Nari and Nari a stitch of clothes on their lower half.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Lying down along the back of the tennis courts they freaked out and can I say they kept the top some but went bottom off, so undignified. It's very sexy. Yeah, really. Oh, I mean, we all take a different thing from the story. And we're not finished. I think the idea, because I mean, obviously, we all remember top hearts only, but bottom hearts only. That you, but you met on straight to base number five. However, oh, hang on, sorry. they freaked out and asked me to say nothing,
Starting point is 00:38:48 which I didn't of course, I think he means which I did of course, because didn't of course would mean an idiot a scab. I like the found out they'd stayed in touch but nothing more had happened. However, since the lockdown kicked in, they've been texting lots more and they're trying to arrange it that she comes here for some sexy sex. I'm against it entirely. Yes, they're both consenting adults, but if I'm involved in it directly, I could lose my sweet job. A betting? You're not involved in it, don't wants to be. He knows. You're there with his kids. I'm talking about his egg and chips. We know about it. A betting adultery or something.
Starting point is 00:39:32 A pencil. A chart could wrangle up something. I'm sure. Just a side note. The boss's wife is I need 30 or so and she's incredibly beautiful. Like legit model beautiful. Yeah, I don't like the way this man is talking about women. Oh, don't worry guys, she's legit model beautiful. You know, he's very good about men. He's very, you know, very grubby, grubby about women. But his own mission, but by his own admission, is a solid four out of ten at best. He's pleading with me to let it go as he'll never get this level of beauty or excitement in his life again.
Starting point is 00:40:11 I'm very torn. I don't want to get sacked but I can't deny my brother some loving. Could you help cool two cool dudes with attitudes out. Many things. Ernie. Yes, my wife doesn't give a shit either way. Well, it's good to get the wife's perspective on that. So, I think, you know, if... Well, it is, I think, you are allowed to go to... Right, I can't remember what the rules are in lockdown anymore. Are you allowed to go to another person's house? Yes, but it has knock on ramifications over who you can then have to your house. You basically, I know, hang on, she can't because she's in a person house.
Starting point is 00:40:54 She's, she's, I think, yes. Yeah, because then if she goes back, then she's bringing it back and potentially, this poor multi-millionaire who we're assuming is over and therefore, he's over and he's 60 too. Right, he's 62, so there we go, he's eight short years away from that vulnerable section of society, and who knows how long this lockdown's going to last. Why don't think so? I think we need to take the corona out of this.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Okay, take corona out of it. Do it in the back yard. You've got to pick a bonk table. Okay, so, the husband is more than twice the wife's age. That to me suggests, and she's behaving like this, that to me suggests their relationship is not a perfect one.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Yes. I'd say that's a fair analysis. My main problem with this whole shabang. It's a sorry tale. It is a sorry tale, but I do not like Ernie's attitude. I think he's condescending to his friend and I think he's condescending to his friend and I think he's all his concern to really about himself really and actually it's not fair for him to be like, yeah, you're going to get
Starting point is 00:42:14 me fired. Like, it's not fair. What point does he talk about his relationship with his boss, right? Like the boss is a bit absent here. What's the boss like as I mean like sure he's 62 That isn't his defining features surely So he says that he's 62 year old multi-millionaire boss through a big bash for all his companies so he speaks of the boss with some admiration yes and So he speaks of the boss with some admiration, yes. And, but he cheeses these people very much like objects as to what they, what they've acquired, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:51 the boss, he's in this because he's rich. Yeah. No friends in this because she's legit, model, beautiful. He sees only the surface of things. He sees them as commodities, yeah, and also how they relate to him, you know, which I guess is hard, not to divorce that. Let's bring divorce into it.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Hard to, you know, hard to sort of separate your mind from it, sorry, I was just like, but you know, you know, you don't, you don't have to split up that I'll wait. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. But the point I'm trying to make is, he's thinking of himself here, and he's, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the point I'm trying to make is he is thinking of himself here. And what he's basically asking is,
Starting point is 00:43:28 do I, for once in my life, do something that's good for my friend? It isn't good for it. No, yeah. It's not good for his friend, though, is it right? No. And if she's a wealthy wife of a millionaire, then they can stiff for a travel lodge
Starting point is 00:43:47 or something. I think that's I think I mean they can surely book a tennis because because I think the tennis courts are open. I think that is actually a very fair point. She does have money and she's I mean to be to Ernie. She is dragging Ernie into something that he's putting him at risk. Like, to be fair to him, I've spent the whole time slacking him off, it must be scary for him, especially at a time like this, to feel like his job is under threat
Starting point is 00:44:16 to something that is nothing to do with him and to feel something that he feels is immoral, you know? Well, that's the key thing is, it's lacking in this, but the idea of morality. Like, Ernie, you don't need that on your conscience. No matter what the consequences are, this is another man's wife, this is your house. You don't need that.
Starting point is 00:44:37 You don't need to grubby the memories of your house. You know what I mean? Like, you want it to be a place where you know, decent things have gone on. What? What? What? That's another sign for the wall.
Starting point is 00:44:52 This is a place where decent things have gone on. I can see that right next to bless this mess. I guess that's that word perfectly. That's kind of, I feel like, you don't have to dobb like, you don't have to dobbin' in, you don't have to, but you don't have to facilitate either. Yeah, so I would say, look, if you'd be here. At the very least, 10 down the bottom of the garden.
Starting point is 00:45:17 That feels too much. Yeah, 10 front of that. Yes. 10, the neighbor's garden. Is it, who's 10 is it? Yeah, 10th front of that. Yes. The name is Garden. Who's the head? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it's the boss's tent. I bet it's lovely. Oh, absolutely. It's a bit more like a marquee.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Only decent things have happened in this tent. That's what I'm saying. So, um, these feel for both of them involved, however, because she's a very, well, she's a young woman who may or may not regret very big, very frightening decisions she's made. And he's someone who is very excited. It's a very intense and frightening time on top of that. I feel for them. I do. It's also a bit saucy.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Oh, there's no. No, it's awesome. It's also a bit saucy. There's no going back. It's an absolute sauce first. What you can't see from the this zoom chat is that I have actually popped my bottoms off as well because... You've solidaried me. Absolutely. It plays out like a Jackie Collins novel, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:46:20 Imagine the chemistry. They must have had terrifyingly good chemistry to end up bottomless on the tennis courts. Oh my god. That must have been incredible. Can you imagine? Like the free song. Yeah, like that is that is absolutely source, isn't it? So you know what? Why is Bert not willing even in, to throw a little bit of money at it, to get that thrill a second time? But book a hotel, do something like that, you know? Fiery car. Fiery car for goodness sake.
Starting point is 00:46:54 You're a man. This is your idea of romance. Fiery campervan. Oh, now we're talking. No, we're talking. You can't. Fiery campervan, take us somewhere beautifully remote and have some sex. Have that sex.
Starting point is 00:47:09 This is perfect. You know what? Can I pick up? I really like the fact that his wife just could not give a shit. I don't care mate. She's an analyst. She has no opinion on anything. But listen guys, here's the good news. She's also legit model. Good looks.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Oh, they've been there. So I think, I think, I think, I think higher a campervan, drive it to a field, drive it to the main field. That's our advice for Burt, not Ernie, right? No, we say to Ernie, tell Burt to do this. In fact, then wash your hands of the whole affair. Just say, look, I'm putting my foot down. Only decent things happen in these four walls. And do wash your hands, guys. Please do, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Happy birthday, twice, bucket camper van. Exactly. Beef sold. From a soning like a beef. Beef sold. So, Josie. Johnny. Hello, I'm Johnny.
Starting point is 00:48:07 We're supposed to have a beef, a household beef. And I was wondering if I could talk about one of our small grievances in the house. I was thinking about the fact that, so there's two sides of the bed. Oh, I like the way that Johnny hasn't said yes yet. You'll just go, yeah, I'm doing it. There are two sides of the bed, and they the way that Johnny hasn't said yes yet. You're just going, I'm doing it. There are two sides that are beddily let out an audible groan. There are two sides of the bed. There are also two sides of the story. So we're happy to get Johnny involved
Starting point is 00:48:32 in a second, but let's hear the beat. There's two sides of the bed, right? Now this bed is in against the wall and the wall of the side is infinitely preferable, right? Wow. Which sides are preferable? The wall of the side. Why do you, right? Wow. Which side is preferable? Hit the wall side. Why do you say that? Here's why. Here's why. That side of the mattress is less like, it's less news.
Starting point is 00:48:54 OK. OK. I don't know for whatever reason. That side of the mattress feels springy. Right? I think we did that the reason. LAUGHTER Well, I'm saying is Hugo Shavvers. I think it does a reason.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Well, I'm saying is Hugo Shavers. That's not the most just to spring it, right? It's right next to the window. Now, we keep the window open, it's cool. It's a cool... Secondly, because it's by the wall, you don't feel as if you're on the edge of the bed ever. You feel like you're, you know, that the wall is like supporting you. You're invalid.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yeah, invalid. Beautiful. Right. Secondly, if the baby wakes up, you're not really missed. No, no, no, no. I'm not. Because I was going to come down that enveloping wall. You're in bed with your partner. Surely that should be enveloping enough in a wall as well. We had threesome.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Okay, it's spooting a wall. But what I'm saying is, we're both quite hot, temperatureed people. Sure, okay. You don't want to spend it all night like. Yeah. Two-knot. You want the cool wall to cool you down.
Starting point is 00:50:03 Okay, I do that. Yeah, I get that but also crucially it's further to go if the baby wakes up and therefore it's easier to say well you're on the edge going you go. Now Johnny has claimed the good side of the bed for himself. And the one thing. And the one thing. The one thing. He's claimed the good side of the bed for himself. And he will not accept any sort of roto system.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Like, I have been so strongly advocating for me to get a go on the good side of the bed. And recently, so I've been, you know, for months and months, twice. Twice, I've had a go on it. How was it? Yeah, Johnny got it going. Yeah, go. We'd love to hear what Johnny has to say. Twice, twice, I've had a go on it. How was it? Yeah, Johnny got a go on it. Nice. Yeah, go on, we'd love to hear what Johnny has to say. Johnny, by all means. Come close to the mic, Johnny, so we can hear you.
Starting point is 00:50:52 OK, whatever he says is absolute bullshit, I know. Tric. Apparently, you never get to sleep on the good side of the bed. Correct. Where did you sleep last night? OK, this is fine. Oh. Whoa. This is? Okay, this is fun. Whoa. This is fun, bring it up.
Starting point is 00:51:07 For the bed's rest. Last night I got to sleep on the good side of the bed. And do you know what? I fucking loved it. It was paradise. You've had a real spring in your step this morning. Well, you can tell, Josie. If Johnny wasn't here, I would say, flip the mattress, turn the mattress round, get the good side of the mattress to yourself.
Starting point is 00:51:27 You can move it to the other side of the bed. Yeah, but it's not just about the mattress. I know, I don't know. I know, I don't know. Cool. No, it's not. Could you move the bed to the other wall? No, we're not earning.
Starting point is 00:51:41 We don't live in a house. You've got four walls, right? It's up against two of them, presumably. Dream of four walls. Do you live in a marquee? It's a good decision. You've only got one wall, it's covered in signs. So, look, what we're talking about is,
Starting point is 00:52:01 can you row to the bedside, right? Mm-hmm. Sure, there's a case for this. It sounds like you're almost rowing it. You just need to be a little bit fairer. And you know what, what does Johnny want? A fairer society, we've heard his songs. That's what he wants.
Starting point is 00:52:16 And that has to start from home. You've got to be the change you want to see in the world, Johnny. If you want GNU inequality, it has to be a quality starting with the way that you respect your partner, okay? I'm not a guest on this show. Oh, now he doesn't want to be a guest on the show.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Second of the day he wanted his right to reply, now he doesn't want to be a guest. Thank, I'd like to say thank you so much and I do. You're very welcome, Tracy. This matter resolved. It feels like that's the way so much and I do welcome Lucy. This matter resolved. It feels like that's the way it's gonna go. Yeah, I think we can put a fork in it. Be closed. Be closed.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Be from the starting, I can be soft. Jai, what a pleasure. That was really cool. Guys, I just love your company so much. It's so nice to see the three of you again and get to enjoy your funny selves. We love your company, we love your company as well.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Is there anything you want us to plug by the way, Jocies? Is there anything you want us to promote like that you're doing at the moment? Yeah. At the moment I'm streaming my show Tender, most Sunday nights, although that haven't been said, there's like two in July that I won't be doing it, but I'm streaming it on Twitch and on the Cosmic Shambles YouTube and Sundays the occasional Thursday as well, I'm gonna sneeze. Bless you. Thank you and also to you. We also do a Fortnitely Friday Night comedy club called the Friday night quarantine show. It's me. It's John Newt Roberts
Starting point is 00:53:51 it's so Johnny in the back tears to me have guests as well and it's just very silly so yeah I'd love to plug that That's on the cosmic shambles stay at home stream and they're YouTube too Great. We'll stick a link to all of that in the show notes but Jocely thank you so much for coming on the show It's been so lovely to chat to you. Thanks guys well we'll stick a link to all of that in the show notes. But Josie, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's been so lovely to chat to you. Thanks guys, I'll see you later. Be from the starting, I can be with you. What a treat that was.
Starting point is 00:54:12 What an absolute treat. What a lovely ep. Beef solved, beef's closed, and beef's put forks in. Absolutely, a new one this time. Put a fork in this beef. It's never evolving what we do to your beefs. We moved away from the idea of solving them. We're never going to solve them.
Starting point is 00:54:32 We can close them, we can take a fork in them. And we will. And we shall. So, times by. Thanks for listening. Please leave a review on iTunes or just spread the word to your mates. If you think it's something that they would enjoy. Get in touch with your own beefs. You need to send an email to this address.
Starting point is 00:54:51 But you've brought this podcast at gmail.com. Clarky, anything to plug? No. Very rare we ask Clarky if you've got anything to plug. But we'd love to hear it. Clarky, why don't you plug the Patreon? Ah, yeah guys, come along and join the Patreon. We put it out content all the damn time and it's top quality stuff for $5. You get to hear it, you get as many podcasts as you, yeah, is can... Yeah, Bob.
Starting point is 00:55:22 For $5 you'll get the end of that sentence um today's episode was produced as ever by the peerless producer caution mmm-corsi cheers everyone bye yo yo yo yes we're broadcasting live oh yes it's patreon FM oh yeah in your house coming out you're massive please be upstanding yeah patreon neighborhood watch roll call shout out oh yeah first shirt out I'm not gonna tell it here I'm not gonna tell it then he's a great listener of hers giving up big shirt out piece of Yen
Starting point is 00:56:12 Yeah, oh when he eats is really fucking messy. He has to eat with a bib. I'm talking of course about drunk Big shirt now Okay Oh big shout out now Some of good friend You shout big shout you've ever heard As big as a whale as big as a waily Oh Fuck it up. I could Back it up big shout out no to my good friend
Starting point is 00:56:55 Shave off your hair. Don't matter if it's a quith. Oh She's in the end. It's actually Smith Big shout out now She's in the end it's Ashlyn Smith Yeah, it used to be on coronation streets along with yeah He's on coronation street with Bev Calard. I'm of course talking about Ellie's baller. Oh, no, no, no, it's my good friend. Yeah, yeah, big shout out. A little bit of a baller. Big shout out to my good friend. Oh, yeah, he's uncompromising.
Starting point is 00:57:34 He doesn't panda. Oh, yeah, it's SW Griffander. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- Big shout out now To my good friend. Oh, yeah, his arms a long. He's got a big reach big show now It's John Vitch B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- Where is she being? It was like she- Where is she being? It's like she finished. But she's back.
Starting point is 00:58:32 It's Lizzie, rock ballist. Where is she going? Where is she going? Where is she going? Where is she going? She's my good friend. Big shout out now. Big shout out now.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Big shout out now. shout out now to my good friend I'll be shouting I'll be shouting out when I'm done put me in a coffin Well, I've just done a shit in here let me out. Oh, hello David Goff in big shout out to Is wicked on the one Shout out to my good friend Shoot down on the one and as we could right now big big shout coming out like a cow Well, that's it end of shift tuning next week. This is the end of today's neighborhood watch roll call big shirt out now big friend Big shout out now. We're gonna play a track track I know you love it you love it it's DJ exact them to get a crack on what's his name is DJ
Starting point is 00:59:31 Claxon X-Zen Claxon horns with theme from house Mutu house Mutu Big up to one in the Big Big Big Big Good friend Weirdly like with the production levels in my head Production levels in my head Production levels in my head The sound of I be through in the summer.
Starting point is 00:59:58 This is the raw stuff. Then he unqueeved. This is the stuff like DJ Shadda. Coming off my tube. This is the stuff like DJ Shutter Coming off mic too This is the raw stuff I'm Tweety This is the stuff like DJ Shutter Bringing a little bit of bass
Starting point is 01:00:14 Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. But then the high hat. Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Starting point is 01:01:05 Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free to act in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.