Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Katy Wix S11E20
Episode Date: May 17, 2021The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Katy WixKaty Wix - https://twitter.com/WixKatyPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetMAY 23rd - Pappy's Flatshare: Beef Brothers...: Cold Cuts: Sausage Link https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-beef-brothers-cold-cuts-sausage-link-tickets-153364243581If you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to beefbrotherspodcast@gmail.comSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutford.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's like theaters December 15th.
Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom.
I'm Ben.
I'm Matthew and welcome to a beef brothers cold cuts.
And a very exciting one, because we've got a fantastic guest,
Katie Wicks.
Katie Wicks is here.
Yeah, absolutely, right.
Katie Wicks, who we remembered over the course of recording
this, was one of our first ever guests on Fluxier's Land
and I think she did the second episode, maybe.
So all those years ago, so it's fantastic to have her back.
And you're the side of her writing a novel
and becoming a published author or writing a memoir. So's fantastic to have her back. You're the side of her writing a novel and becoming a published author or writing a memoir.
So very exciting to have her back
and it's worth saying some really, really good beefs
in this one.
Yes, very good beef.
Very good beefs.
Yeah, if you've got any beefs in your own life,
if you have a problem with the people you're living with,
your partner, your flatmate, then get in touch
at the usual email, which is beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com.
That's the one who's an unforgettable email.
An unforgettable email,
beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com.
Get in touch today and tell us what you're up to.
Also, if you like beef brother's cold cuts,
we are doing a live stream of beef brother's cold cuts.
This is very exciting.
We've never done this before,
because we've done our flat-sheast land downs over Zoom.
But this is a live stream where we're gonna have
a variety of guests, they're gonna solve a beef,
and then set up a beef for the next comedian to solve,
and then it's gonna be a little link.
So we're calling it beef brother Cold Cuts Sausage Link.
There is a link to tickets, a sausage link to tickets,
in the show notes for the show,
you can find it on our Twitter or our Facebook
or our Instagram, but the guests are
absolutely out of this world.
Pride cuts.
They are absolutely brilliant.
We have got James A. Castor.
We've got Darren Harriet. We have got James A. Castor. We've got Darren Harriet. We have got Lou Sanders.
We have got Ed Gamble.
We've got Fatih El Gori.
And Athena Kublenu.
It's going to be a good show.
We might even add more names, I don't know.
But that's pretty good, isn't it?
That's going to be some good people.
It's going to be astonishingly good.
So that's on May 23rd, Sunday night. Get your tickets now, it's going to be starting,
I don't know, 7 or 8 o'clock in the evening, London time. So it should be a really fun way
to spend your Sunday. But let's get on with the episode shall we? Oh yes please. Well if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem call it a B.
If you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from the starting I can be.
Katie, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Thank you for asking me to come on this show.
Isn't it the first time you've ever been on a show?
It's the first time you've sent us out loud, I was going to ask you.
Yeah.
First time speaking, long time listener, first time speaking.
Big fan of the show.
Because you came on flat chest land down years ago, didn't you?
I thought you said flat chest land down.
Yeah, that's what we call it.
We were just landed down, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
I thought I'd dream that.
I think you were on that set in, yeah. Yeah, I did. I thought I'd dreamt that. I thought they did happen, right?
I think you were a nice set.
It could never have been a episode.
But honestly, it was probably 10 years ago.
Yeah, we've been doing this for 10 years.
So it would have been about 10 years ago.
I don't know when you would know anyone.
You don't have to, you don't have to a nice set every time you ever sit before.
Yes.
Just have a sip.
Well, yeah, but I've gone to trouble in the past,
reading a carrot on it.
Oh, I didn't want that to be a sort of ASMR.
Well, that was the podcast host,
I borrowed a rabbit, and you really distracted him.
You really put them off constantly
and months in a way on a carrot.
They couldn't focus on the questions they had prepared.
It was, yeah, it was a long time ago, wasn't it? And I knew it was live, it was on the questions they had prepared. It was a long time ago, wasn't it?
And I knew it was live, it was somewhere.
And yeah, that's all I remember about it.
It was live and it was somewhere.
It was probably the new red lion, I think, in Angel.
Yeah, that's right.
It was a while ago.
We've been in each other's lives a long time.
Yeah, a little... This is the reason we've got you.
We're coming out.
Can you try and listen to that show for long, Lee?
Can you?
Like...
But we're at the age, aren't we?
When the style just all we've got.
You've heard the podcast before that.
Oh, I mean, you know, they say you do puppies podcast twice in your career. I would love it if you'd have finished that. They say you do puppies podcast twice in your career. I would love it if you
had finished that sentence and then just interview and come a carrot that you just took a bite.
No, no, but there's been a lot of, don't you think, though, in lockdown? There's a lot of, you know, looking back.
I mean, I felt the, that sentiment of like,
as being in each of this life.
There was a comedian who was, had like a spot of illness
and was kind of going through and recovered.
And I saw them in Edinburgh and like, he told me about it.
And I said, like, it is funny,
because like every summer in Edinburgh
We'd like instead of going on family holidays. We would go to Edinburgh and all be there together
through like
Really formative years of our life and it's like you know
That's when everyone else goes off at spend time with their family and that's what we would be doing and that's gone on for like
10 15 years
It's it is pretty incredible really.
There's a bond there.
Mate.
Yeah.
There is, I mean, yes.
It's also a bond family.
No one goes on holiday with their families once they're 18.
But you know what I mean?
The only dare I wasn't sure of it.
It's, but it's, Edinburgh is longer than a family holiday, right?
And also, I would longer than a family holiday, right?
And also, I would say, probably a bit more stressful
than a family holiday.
So it's almost like, you know,
it's, rather than saying it's like a family holiday,
it's like every summer, we go to war.
You know?
You go, you go, oh, what are you doing with your summer?
I'm going, I'm also being a war zone with a bunch of people.
I've grown to love, you know, in a sort of weird Stockholm syndrome kind of way.
It's quite romantic actually, and we think that's not like that, isn't it?
Yeah, I think of it quite romantically.
Yeah.
Never again.
So, no, let's not, we can't go back.
So, obviously, this's not, we can't go back. So, obviously this is a flat ship. It's a flat ship, I'm trying to work out how to shift the gears between me saying
it was like a war, Tom saying it's quite romantic, I'm thinking, is that romantic?
It's war, romantic. I never saw you with a poppy on that any other way.
That's a good point.
Whereas you, you were on the streets
under the mate weren't you?
A lot of people said you should have been firing.
That's your fight.
Of my posters had a poppy on every...
Katie Wicks, let's...
Okay, someone said that.
Katie Wicks, let's be forget in the attic at 11 o'clock.
It starts with a two minute silence
and finishes with one as well, upsettingly.
Yeah.
LAUGHTER
Oh, yeah.
What's your walk on music?
Well, they show I'm using the last piece.
I'm playing it on guitar.
I'm going to give it a good go.
LAUGHTER
Yeah.
Right, so, what kind of a flatmate are you?
We've obviously, we've been up to Edinburgh with you,
we've never lived in a flat with you.
What kind of a person you to live with?
Can't you just play the episode in 12 years?
Can you still, do you think?
And I'll just introduce.
Oh, I tell you what, how about this then?
How have you changed as a flatmate in the last 10 years?
What, like I said, imagining I'm a flatmate,
kind of thing.
But is it different if you live with,
is a flatmate if you live with your partner?
Oh, yeah, 100%.
Is that still counts being a flatmate?
Still counts so much.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I'm, I think I'm pretty self-contained kind of a person.
I'm pretty good.
I'm pretty... I'm self-contained in of a person. I'm pretty good. I'm pretty in what way you keep yourself to you keep yourself to yourself.
You're very neat and tidy. Yeah, like I don't sweat very much.
I don't. I you're one of the people who never you don't shed any dead skin.
Do you like like Prince, Prince Andrew? Yeah.
I went to the gym this morning and I was saying exactly this to my friend that I don't sweat very much.
You also don't exercise very much, you go to the gym, you just watch people and then leave.
That's why. I think I'm pretty considerate and yeah I mean I'm a bit messy but I think I'm pretty good on the whole. I'm pretty like in my own world.
And what, yeah, so like you're messy and you don't talk to people, what are you saying?
So, if that's what you're looking for, then you're perfect.
Yeah, exactly.
What kind of mess?
It's a good question. It feels really revealing. I
I have a habit of like leaving toothpaste in this like you know, blobs of it in the sink. Oh, dear. I
Know I know but it's because I'm always late and I'm always in a hurry and I'm still getting used to this new idea of leaving the house. I thought you could just leave your team.
I was just trying to hear.
So I'm always just sort of rushing and I sort of clean it really quickly with my finger.
Then I think I'll do it tonight, I'll do it tonight and then I just sort of forget and someone else does it.
But I do have a habit of doing that.
I have a habit of taking my contact lenses out
and then leaving them in places
and they've dried and crusted onto the varnish of a table
or they've dried onto a surface.
Yeah, that happens in our house all as well.
I'm obviously a glasses wearer,
but my wife is contact and yeah,
you'll just find them everywhere.
These little crispy things.
Yeah, because now I can afford dailies.
I'm just going wild and wearing them all the time.
And I love it.
I've left a little, not only does she leave her contacts places.
She also leaves the little plastic cups that they come in with the still with a little
bit of water.
But everywhere.
Sailing solution.
My life is dealing with dailies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I mean, I do I leave the washing. I don't I never do the washing up immediately. I'll leave it a couple of hours. I really hate any I really hate housework. I really resent it. I really hate domestic stuff. I
I'll do like one big tidy. Oh, I'll find like an I'll find like a really a podcast I'm really looking forward to.
Yes, thank you. Like this one. Wow. Wow.
He didn't even go to a gym.
He threw it with a straight face. One of our one of our one of the great actors of our generation.
And he is unable to convincingly say that he didn't enjoy it.
No, the reason I was laughing was because I knew it was going to sound lovely.
That's why I was laughing.
And then I have a really big tidy, like a scooch about, pick things up.
And I have this sort of system where I can't...
When I'm in the tidy, it needs to be really sort of economical use of time.
So I'll have a... If I walk past something, I have to pick something up and move it as I'm
going past and take something else for knowing that I'm going to walk back into the bedroom
in a second.
So when I'm tidying, it's very, you know, it's like really layered thinking as I'm going.
So like, it's like the bag of grain fox and a chicken kind of.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly. Exactly. I'm like, oh, and a chicken kind of... Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
I'm like, oh, I'll pick that up because I'm going to move that.
And I'll drape that on my arm for when I'm going via the loo to there.
But I like that.
I like putting stuff all over, you know, like there's always stuff.
Putting something over a shoulder, just think that's what that's all about.
It's on a shoulder now.
I live in a flat, so I don't have stairs, but like it's such a strong childhood memory of my
mum taking I'm asking me to take something upstairs and I would just put it on
the stairs for next time I'm going up and then someone would trip over it and I
get shouted at so I kind of miss not having stairs to put stuff on.
You get a ladder? Yeah nothing's stopping me. Nothing's stopping me.
You get a lot of cash. A lot of cash. A lot of cash.
There's very IKEA, isn't it? Yeah, plant pot on a ladder. That's very IKEA to me.
That's a smacks of changing rooms as well.
Oh yeah, which is coming back.
I hope so.
About a year ago, I was doing an interview for something and they said to me,
which TV program would you bring back? And I said, changing rooms. And then I saw a month later,
like a month ago, it's happening. And I sort of can't help but think about it.
If you will, there is no dream. Just saying, you'd quite like to see bad ones back.
Do you mind just saying it out loud? Are you a witch?
I know what I'd love to see back with a new class.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh, she's done it.
Oh.
I've done you.
Curse you.
Oh my god.
You've been absolutely wicked there, guys.
Absolutely wicked.
You're from the starting of your beef. Right, should we get into some of these beefs? Because the list is all thank us for that. Absolutely wicks there guys absolutely wicks
Right should we get into some of these beefs because the list is all thank us for that, you know, we're not getting any younger are we
One beef No, no
Starter is all we have let's get into the base
Harry give us one of yours. Oh wow, this is an absolute beef
that could not be more up my alley.
A Tom Hanks beef from Danny via beef,
brotherspodcast.gmail.com, getting touch.
Hello, puppies, and very special guest.
Oh, very nice.
I have a beef and you may be my only hope. After watching the, sorry, after watching the terminal on Christmas day
It's not a Christmas film is it? After watching the terminal on Christmas day.
I take off my shoes I mean.
You can't make it to my house and expect it to be.
No, no, no, Christmas day.
We've done the turkey.'ve had the Queen's speech.
Should we play charades?
No, no, let's watch the terminal.
LAUGHTER
After watching the term like Christmas Day,
my housemate, Brackett's wife and I, embarked on a quest
to make 2020 the year of the hanks,
working our way through the full filmography of everyone's favourite big screen
star with approximately 50 to be telling the year is 2021.
Does he want to tell Danny that because he's missed his chance if he's trying to
make 2020 the year of the hands. I think I tell you what 2020 will be remembered
for one thing and it won't be Tom Hanks. I mean Tom Hanks was certainly part of the
story.
He was starting it.
Wait, let's not say you started it.
He's not the celebrity page of Sarah.
What's in the wet market?
Chewing down on the map.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar.
He was the hangar. He was the hangar. He was the hangar. He was the hang, right, started the virus. Tom Hanks, sneezed on his wife. Got it early on.
Okay, he did. He was early doors. That's when people started taking it seriously.
With approximately 50, and also something specific about Hanks, you know, like if it had been,
let's think, if it had been Nicholas Cage,
I don't think people would have been particularly worried people have been like, oh, Nicholas Cage has got their cold.
It's because he's like, you know,
he's basically, he's the world's uncle,
isn't he Tom Hanks?
Yeah, he sort of, everyone has a real personal sort of
connection to Tom Hanks.
It's a real kind of, you feel like he's your mate.
What? Do you?
Yeah, do.
I mean, it's hard to say what makes you feel so neutral.
I just do. I just think, yeah, there he goes.
Yeah, that's good.
There he goes. Fine.
That's it.
I'd take that as a review.
Yeah.
If someone said, yeah, that's good acting for you, Tom.
You'd be delighted to be here.
You'd be delighted to be here.
I like it in re-casting battles, mate, no?
Hey, Katie, I saw Tom Hanks in Edinburgh once.
I was out on, yeah, he walked past me.
I was over in Newtown and he walked past me.
And I had flyers in my bag.
By the time he'd gone past me,
I was like, fucking hell, I could fly a Tom Hanks here.
So I kind of pursued him a little bit,
he turned off into the Scotsman hotel,
but I can get Tom.
It does sound like it's not gonna be fair.
It's not a great way to do it.
You're wondering what he was doing.
What he was doing.
Have you ever been, have you ever seen in the the Scotsman? No, I have, yeah.
It was, it was a different world.
Different world.
So, in what, what were the circumstances?
I don't remember.
I think, I don't remember, or I do, and I'm too embarrassed to say, it's, it's, I didn't pay for it.
I didn't say for it.
I went there because someone else was staying there.
It wasn't just one of those stories.
Oh hang on, are you Tom Hanks' mistress?
Is that why you feel nothing when you watch him on the screen?
You don't protest too much.
I've found nothing for him.
That's why I was saying it.
Because I'm trying to found nothing for him. That's why I was saying it because I'm trying to hide
Or the feeling
Thanks squirrel due into the Scotsman under a blanket
She's crying on control being and she is she's snapped that car
He said there's a guy following me on the normal with flyers in his bag quick
Crack open the mini bar
It was that thing where you know the thing that happens only in film is like quick kiss me pretend to be my girlfriend But then that lasted for four nights. There's got to be the four passionate nights
Like Tom hangs in the fore, four passionate nights. Like Tom Hanks in the terminal, you attract the girls in the past.
Oh, sweet.
Oh, beautiful.
Anyway, we could write a film about it and call it the Scots Woman.
It's a nice twist.
Okay, so, it's a little twist.
Anyway, it's got the year on the 2021.
It's going to be the year of the Hanks.
So with approximately 53 movies to his name,
it's an achievable goal.
And we've kept to par so far with nine watched by the middle of February.
We breeze through big Philadelphia.
Can you breeze through Philadelphia? I think you can breeze through big Philadelphia. Can you breeze through Philadelphia?
I think, I don't know.
You can breeze through big, I think.
I think you can breeze through Philadelphia.
We've been through all business.
I think, what I think of a laugh a minute fast,
I always think.
They have to do film, isn't it?
What's your favorite screwball comedy?
Well, obviously, it's gonna have to be Philadelphia.
We breeze through big Philadelphia, cast away the Green Mile, etc. Then got
Super Romantic on Valentine's Day with the terminal. All of the big holidays.
Christmas is the terminal. Valentine's Day is the terminal. Easter Sunday.
We got Super Romantic on Valentine's Day with you've got mail. Personally,
I think you should have gone for sleepless in Seattle. Here comes the beef. My strategy
to ensure we tick everything off the hanks list is to get through a few duds now. Let's
get bad hanks out the way with angels and demons, cloud atlas and the lady killers over the next few weeks
before returning to some top hanks. My wife begs to differ, wanting to go straight to
Apollo 13 forest gump and captain Philips. I fear we'll peek too soon and not leave
ourselves anything to look forward to later in the year. We've hit an in-pass and I'm concerned we'll fall behind schedule,
especially when we're related out of the house again to do something other than watch movies.
So who's right?
And especially when you realise you're a year out already.
Yeah, you're twelfth behind on your schedule ready.
So who's right? How can we create the optimum
hanks schedule? Please help, puppies. I basically have this exact discussion just yesterday,
but about food. You know when you like leave, what do you eat? You're trying to eat every one of you me or first or last.
So like, oh, the sound, you mean, like, do you say a bit to the end?
Or, that's, you mix it in the middle, right?
Surely.
Oh, what?
I know, you just found a third option.
To the films, one bad, one good one.
Well, that's exactly what I,
that's exactly what I was going to get.
Yeah, to get gratification. I to get to you. That's going to get to you.
That's going to get to you.
Yeah.
That's going to get to you.
Yeah.
That's going to get to you.
That's going to get to you.
Yeah.
That's going to get to you.
Yeah.
So why you put things on the stairs, take your lighter.
Yeah.
I would get lighter.
See if he's...
It's the phrase whatever he said rattled through.
So he's not really watching them, like, you know, with great care.
So I think just...
Why?
They stick on the bad ones and get you out and stuff. They stick on the bad ones and get you out and stuff. They stick on the bad ones and get you out and stuff. They stick on the bad ones and get you out and just, they're on the bad ones of getting you happy,
and then like have something to look forward to.
That's what I do.
But I think one good one, one bad one is quite a good system.
I think so.
Yeah, I've got a suggestion,
I've got a suggestion which I think is too late
because they've already leapt in Willie Nilly in terms of order.
But I would go for the system, do chronologically
working front to back and back to front to alternate nights.
Oh wow.
So, say on the Saturday you do Tom Hanks's first novel.
Sorry, first film.
On the Wednesday.
Sure, sorry.
On the Wednesday you do his latest, their short stories aren't they? So like on the, yeah, on the Saturday you do his latest their short stories aren't they? So like on the yeah on the
Saturday you do his first film on the Wednesday you would do his latest film then you do his second film
then you and you'd work back that up up the list and down the list and I think by doing that
you're not already because I think one of the problems here is you're all saying do a bad film
then a good film well if you're pre deciding that a film is bad Then you're not going to go into angels and demons with an open mind because I do
I went into it with an open mind at four o'clock in the morning and I quite enjoy that
Quite a lady killers. I mean they might have yeah different you know taste as well. They might have different opinions and what's good and bad
No, taste as well. They might have different opinions on what's good and bad.
Oh, yeah.
The other thing I'd say is go for alphabetical from now on.
That's good.
And therefore, it's just an arbitrary order.
They're coming as the alphabet dictates, and then you don't know what's going to be
the last thing.
But I think psychologically people need something to look forward to at the moment.
So would you, I mean, I think what I would have done is left knowing
you're going to finish.
Make sure you finish on them.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Like literally, yeah, finish big.
Pluck, pluck, lovely, lovely.
Pluck out a film that you know you're both going to enjoy.
Decide together and go, right, we'll put that one to one side and then we'll
put it in the system, the chronological system.
I think it's really good.
It's almost like watching them at random a little bit your system,
Harry, but it isn't quite.
But at the same time, it's so, because the one, this should be a fun venture,
right, for Danny and his partner.
This should be fun, but it seems like already it's becoming a bit of a sort of
chore and a bit of a bug bit. That's not what you want. So remove that element of thought, you know, remove the element
of decision and you can just you can just have fun. So what is it tonight? We know it's angels
and demons. Can we can we go can we go one better guys? Can we recommend the Hank's film that they
saved to last if we make that decision for them, we know the ones that they've already seen.
So can we?
So Charlie Wilson's war is up for grabs.
Charlie Wilson's war is going in.
Absolutely right.
I do like Charlie Wilson's war.
I did have a good time.
I couldn't tell you what it was about.
I've definitely seen it.
Couldn't with the gun to my head tell you who Charlie Wilson
was or why he had a war. He was horrible misplaced.
He was about his first Edinburgh. What about Larry Crown? You've never seen that one.
No, what's Larry Crown? So the one where he's riding a motorbike with
Julia Roberts on the back, I think that's just the poster. I haven't seen the film, it
is the poster. Okay, so Casey Wicks, you famously film nothing towards Tom Hanks, but is there a Tom Hanks
film that holds a special place in your heart that you would recommend for these good people
that we can...
I can't think of a single Tom Hanks film that I feel really, really excited about seeing
right now, that I feel really passionate about.
I've got quite pretentious film tastes, I'm sorry.
I mean, you know, there are some ones that, you know,
even people who are quite pretentious might enjoy, you know, surely,
you're surely a sleepless in Seattle, right?
I saw it once years ago, I've got no, I've got no desire to see it again.
A problem. A dragonet? The only thing... I've absolutely no desire to see it again. A problem.
Dragonet.
The only thing.
I'm sorry I never had that.
Was that like, was he in Turner and Huch?
Was that him?
He was in Turner and Huch, yeah.
I'm really for the Delphier.
I remember.
I've got quite a dangerous taste.
I love him for the Delphier.
I'd watch that again.
I was gonna say, what?
I would make a case for the Toy Story trilogy.
Oh, I forgot about that.
So I saw my first, no, I saw the first one when it came out,
but that's the last time I saw a Toy Story.
And then I was made to watch all the others at Christmas.
And I loved them. I did love them.
Yeah, I really loved them.
Here's the thing, though. Do you watch those?
Very, very tight-plotting.
Just stop it three.
You know, it's finished on the fourth.
Yeah, I really enjoyed them.
Why?
Yeah, well, you just finished.
I'd end on Toys Story.
Yeah, definitely.
I've decided.
End on Toys Story 3.
So you're saying, so the rules are, you end on Toys Story 3.
So you're putting one to end on.
That's Toys Story 3.
You're putting one that you're not going to watch at all, you're just going to disclude it and that's going
to be Toy Story 4 and then everything else you're going from back to front and front
to back.
Just think about how they're going to finish their timehanks here.
No, it's a spoiler, but if you imagine the last scene of Toy Story 3, that is how you're
finishing, you're literally saying goodbye to Woody.
Yes.
There will not be a dry eye in that house.
What happened in four?
Where's the one where they go to the other,
the other, where I'm in four?
That's three, four is the one with them.
Oh yeah, I haven't seen four yet.
Haven't seen four.
Oh, it's full of it.
I was talking about it.
Great.
Great. But again, yeah, I think you're absolutely right.
Discount that one.
I can't wait to stop.
I think that's beef.
Yeah, I love it.
Be from the starting, I can be!
Beef soft!
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to free to add in love for.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Poor things.
It's a like theaters for December 15th.
Dear beef boys and guests, that's me.
My neighbour, John, not his real name,
does some sort of shift work, leaving it 4 a.m.
and returning about 2 p.m. in the afternoon. Over the last couple of years,
his car has occasionally woke me up, at which point I would smuggly think another three hours in
bed and promptly fall back to sleep. During lockdown 3, however, John appears to have had a midlife
crisis slash breakdown and bought a motorbike. Not just any motorbike, a big stupid red thing that
sounds like a firework display every time he starts it up. It's so loud that it
shocks me awake every day and could be heard roaring away for a good half a
mile until it disappears up the nearest A-road and I'm so angry by this point
that I can't get back to sleep. It's become so unbearable that I often
automatically wake up a few minutes
before he turns the thing on, riddled with furious anxiety. I know it's also affecting
my elderly neighbours, who have, this is in capitals, started going to bed earlier to
accommodate their rude awakening. Beef bros, what can I do? He must know how, how anti-social
it is. But am I really in a position to ask someone to change their vehicle,
even if it's a stupid piece of tin, I've considered setting fire to it,
but he'd only buy something even worse with the insurance money.
So what's the point? Any advice greatly appreciated? Clare, not a real name.
Wow. Woo-hoo. That's tight. That is a beefy beef.
Ooh! That's tight.
That is a beefy beef.
Yeah, it is because, you know,
you've got a feel for the guy, automatically,
as soon as I heard he's got a 4am start,
I thought that's really tough on a person.
And I appreciate that obviously, you know,
when you're waking up half the neighborhood,
that's not fair, but they have the opportunity
to go back to bed. and even if they can't sleep
they can lie in bed. I don't know. He's off there. I get it. But I'm really sensitive to noise
and the first thing I'd say to her in the short term, she wants to get earplugs but the trick is
to find, it took me ages to find the right ear plugs because I've got really small ear canals
and loads of them really hurt. So I get special ones off the internet and they are so comfortable
and now I'm fine. It won't solve the problem but it might stop the like the shock, the abruptness of it
when the, so that's the first thing, but I actually do think that if he's forcing an elderly couple to go to bed earlier and that it is, you know, she could call like a couple of what they're called,
the people you call when it's when your name is making noise.
The count's on the list.
Because I do think that it is, there's, well, there's a certain amount of decibel, isn't there, The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list.
The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list.
The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list.
The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's on the list. The count's just think those vehicles are the personification of selfishness. They are the embodiment of
a person who is not thinking about anyone else other than themselves. They're not thinking
about the planet, they're not thinking about their neighbours. All they do is they think
they look cool because they're sat on something loud.
I mean, the thing is though,
we don't know what this guy does.
He might be saving lives.
He might be like,
organ donor box on the back of a motorbike.
And as you say, it's grim waking up with that stuff.
But if there's,
couldn't he just walk the bike to like,
far away and then start it or something?
Walk the bike to some fields. Walk the bike to work.
My dad used to have a motorbike
that you had to pedal to get started.
So he'd pedal it down the road and then kick it in.
But I don't think these kind of people want those kind of bikes.
These kind of people think that they're doing something big
and clever and they want everyone to see.
And it's pathetic.
I mean, can I just say one thing?
And I know I keep sort of being the counterpoint to this,
but are you brought a motorbike?
I've recently got a motorbike.
Yeah.
I've got a motorbike and I'm doing shift work.
That's two things you should know about. I do know you did ride a motorbike along I'm doing shift work. That's two things you know about. I did well
No, I do know you did ride a motorbike along a beach on your honeymoon and you've never felt so alive
That is that true that it was it was it wasn't my honeymoon, but yes
I definitely I did I had I've got a small moat bed and rode it round
the island of Fuquoc in
I rode a bike in
the island of Fuquoc in Vietnam. So I rode a bike in the East Africa once
and I scraped my knee because he went,
the driver went so like on its side that my knee scraped.
So close to the pavement.
On the ground, it was fucking horrible actually.
Oh, really scary.
Do you think this is what needs to happen to this guy?
He needs a wake-up call like a really scary guy.
I mean, the thing I'm wondering is the guy, if he isn't aware of the sort of suffering
and stress he's causing, he might sort of go, oh shit, I had no idea that, you know,
that I was, so maybe it's worth saying something, Jim.
It might, it might be a thing to communicate.
I was also going to say that, like, going to bed earlier,
I know Claire has written this in all caps, like it's a really bad thing.
It's lovely.
That's lovely, isn't it?
What time did she say it goes off 3 am?
4 am.
4 am.
Yeah.
It's too early.
I get, like, if you, I really get the thing of
not being able to go back to sleep
because it's so churned up of you know the injustice
Have been working up, but earplugs might help
I think you should smash up his fucking bike
It's pathetic
But then what would he get? A motorboat
Turn the phone down the street on a motorboat
He's there trying to try to up an outboard motor every morning.
That's going to be a pain, isn't it?
What about you know that bit in Beverly Hills cop where they put a banana in his tailpipe?
Yes.
Maybe if everything's in here, maybe like a little bit of a cheeky bit of sabotage.
Might send you a criminal message. Yeah. What are your thoughts on this
clock? I was wondering is can you get like dampness for a bike or if I if I make it made this up?
Yeah but these people want bikes that you don't know that about. This is like a choice.
I'm telling you if you buy that vehicle it's not going to be a surprise to him that he's bought a big.
But what if it's the quickest way of him getting to work?
At 4 o'clock in the morning, the road is empty.
It's hard to drive.
He could...
He should be a motorbike.
What if for some reason he can drive a motorbike but not a car we don't know why
He's got really wide legs. Those people aren't
He can't close his legs because his balls are too big and he wants the whole world to know so he's brought a load motorbike
Listen legs a Kimbo get on public transport and have a seat to yourself take two seats to yourself
It's better for the planet and it's quieter.
These motorbike people, honestly, they have to stay up.
You've never, you've never said the same thing to them.
I'm a middle aged, I love it.
When are my best friends just...
No, they're all middle aged.
All the motorbike people are middle aged, they're all, they've got the kind of income that they can spend on a motorbike and they think it's their last hurrah
and they think they can still be young
if they splat the cash on expensive machine
they can stand outside and clean on a Sunday.
It's the middle age people that are the problem.
Pathetic.
Have you ever had one of those motorbike taxis that they send?
All on them.
Yeah, you've got to sit with your arms around somebody.
Terrifying.
I hated it.
I hated every set.
And they can chat to you through a little,
a little mic.
A little mic.
They can ask, yeah.
Makes it worse, yeah.
You're right.
No, I'm not right.
This is awful.
We've really stuck in it.
I'm scared that that would hug you.
Yeah. So what is our solution?
Tom, you've obviously gone, you've gone sort of ballistic on this because obviously this
is very close, literally close to home for you.
You're thinking, stick a banana in the tailpipe, smash it up.
Whereas Katie's gone for a more sort of sober, have a little chat with him and see if he realizes the kind of noise he's making.
And the applause.
And the applause.
And work on your own anxiety.
Yeah.
And talk to the neighbours and say,
should we all approach them together?
Unionise.
I think a chat first,
and if he doesn't listen, then...
Passive aggressive note on the way.
Well, one of those spiker things that you throw across the road in the police chase.
That's a bad fucking, let's see, you're revering now, Buster.
It's really weird making it like, maybe if you watch all of like...
Making it fun, yeah.
if you watch all of like making fun yeah maybe this is making the idea of smashing up
some of these property and possibly killing in
so it fits into a comedy podcast
no no like if you start watching like all
the sons of that of Anakin or kind of you
know it's kind of 70s motorbike films, easy ride.
Like, easy ride, that kind of thing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You might just like every time you hear it, you'll have like a good feeling.
So what you want to say, if you can't meet and join in, become a bike,
like a trident.
You're going to show it above Logan's response.
What cheesy ride are you going to eat, and then do you do in that
until when you wait until you hear it.
It's not a bad idea if they start.
If she starts making a loud noise at around 2.30 AM
into his letterbox, just as retaliation every day.
I think letterbox is a good one,
because you don't want to make a noise that's loud
and it's going to wake up the elderly neighbors who are already going to good one, because you don't wanna make a noise that's loud and it's gonna wake up the elderly neighbors
who are already going to the dishes.
Yeah, you don't want to.
Exactly, you've got a very long time to go out of it.
Exactly, but he's their own massive bike.
Drives them off at various points throughout the day.
They just become a convoy.
What about you?
Yeah, what about you?
They'll just ride and work with him in a ride day.
Everybody on the street, this is good.
Everybody on the street gets a bite.
You'll go out at $355, they rev their engines together,
then half of them, well more than half of them,
most of them then get to go back to bed
and have those delicious drinks.
No, they're not, they're not.
They are scorching to work.
Reminds me.
Someone, one of my siblings sent me a new story
and it was from the close to the place where
we grew up just outside of Cardiff and some like two boys had been arrested because they
had driven around this village shouting like five in the morning, wakey wakey through one
of those loud and eightlers and they'd been arrested.
Maybe love so much, it was so pure love but it's the sort of thing I would have done when I was like 18.
Dead each other just to yell, waky, waky, into a loud inhaler.
Waky, waky, strong.
Can you imagine how pissed off it would be showing waky, waky, waky.
Waky, waky.
It's so good.
Maybe that's the answer.
And then having to like tell the police that that's what we did.
Count to that, the police wake up and go out and go with a loud halo and say sleepy, sleepy.
Sing a lullaby, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it was really good.
So I think that's the answer.
Then you go and shake wakey wakey.
You wakey wakey him up at first.
On the days you don't work in, you wakey wakey him.
On the days he is working, you wake you wake is you,
or convoy, I mean, I've, I've,
I think there's something nice about the whole street,
you know, like the whole street sending,
I tell you who isn't gonna say work,
Captain Planet.
Yeah, you're right.
You are right.
Captain Planet isn't gonna like all these motor bikes, mate.
No, maybe, maybe in steering wheel,
just to get the bikes to put the,
the, the cards in the the spokes because those are loud
You just
Van motor bikes basically is the answer to this and everyone should be on board with this
They're a blight on our society. I think they're dangerous
There isn't anything right with them apart from that they look really sexy and cool
There should be ornamental
I've never seen it. They're passionate about anything so this is really this is really
Round his bike gears Have I arrived?
Hello.
Can we make this funny guys?
Mission accomplished.
Be from the starting at your beef! Beef from the sorting at your beef!
Food habits beef from beef via beef brothers podcast, a gym and all.
These all real.
Can in touch.
What's that?
These real.
These all real, yeah.
I was half joking.
These...
You have real listeners to this.
To be right, shouldn't do this.
Yeah, they do. Yeah, they pop it on, she doesn't do this. Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they pop it on, do some cleaning, never hell of a time.
Hello, puppies and guests.
I have a beef, so much beef.
My housemate has some odd and frustrating food habits.
The other day she cooked a mountain of rice
just before she needed to leave.
It was too hot to eat.
So she put it in the freezer for a bit before it's in a few mouthfuls.
Surely mouthful, no?
No.
And abandoning the rest of the uncovered bowl
in the fridge for days before throwing it away untouched.
Just rice.
Just a big bowl of just plain right there anyway.
It's really hard to judge rice isn't it though?
Yeah, you always make way too much.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
So, but at the same time, it's not the sort of thing
I'd put on if I knew I was just about to go out either.
Yeah.
No. Because it always takes like longer I was just about to go out either. No.
Because it always takes like long than you expect it to.
It is.
But anyway, is that her beat?
Is that her beat?
She's also taken to trying new recipes online,
all well and good.
But she never checks how many portions the recipe is for.
And recently ended up making a Mexican beef dish
for eight that she didn't even like straight
to the fridge. It goes to smell, take up space and eventually be thrown away.
Mexican beef dish sounds like a generic title that you've got on like a bad takeaway menu.
I'll have the Mexican beef dish please.
Yeah.
Okay. I mean, we don't get many of those orders.
The kind of place that does like,
like it's got like a really massive menu
and does like loads of different cuisine.
Does a pizza, does a carbonara,
it does a Mexican beef dish, yeah.
Yeah, you're trying to identify,
well, what's the one good genre food
you're gonna be here?
And it's not gonna be Mexican beef dish.
I'll take that much.
Anyway, why don't you cook together? I hear you cry. I'm an annoying vegan. Sorry. No need to apologize.
How can I stop her from using the fridge as a sort of food purgatory before I never
look and never to be chucking it in the bin? Crosby, I know how you feel about food waste.
So I'm sorry if this has been an uncomfortable read.
Be, frontlet as only.
Okay, be, right.
Well, firstly, I think the thing that leaps out at me there
is, be is said, I'm an annoying vegan.
So I can't cook with other people.
I think that in this day and age is a mad philosophy
to have because vegan food has never been better. If you live in London.
In 2012, I'm talking about making it yourself, vegan recipes are out there.
Okay. Yeah. Making it yourself, it's never been better
than nowadays. So you can cook. You know, if he's cooking, she's ending up not even enjoying
or a big bowl of plain rice,
then you can make something nicer than that
to be fair.
The both of you can eat.
That is vegan, right?
No, but it is vegan.
So hang on, so are you saying to be,
you do all of your flatmates cooking?
No, no, no, not at all.
I'm saying, if you want to,
she's saying why don't you cook together
I'm an annoying vegan.
But,
No, but that's not bees.
Like the housemates make in Mexican beef dish.
Yes.
You can't impose a vegan diet onto your house.
No, no, I'm not saying that.
To eat together.
I'm not saying that, but what I am saying is that some
of the meals you could cook together.
You know, I'm not saying you should make this person a vegan.
I'm just saying. If I'm sharing a vegan. I mean if I'm sharing a haze with a vegan
And they pipe up let's share our meals aren't going
Nah, bruv and nah bruv
They've made I've made this Mexican dish. There's no beef in it, but it is a Mexican dish
I know you enjoy a Mexican dish. I've made this, would you like some?
Is it different thing, isn't it? Surely.
You could normally as well just add,
you could just add like some chicken afterwards.
Exactly, there you go.
I'd like a big one.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm saying this head down your belly.
The thing that concerned, the thing that intrigued me was,
I know that you're not meant to put hot food in the fridge
because it lowers the temperature, right?
And it's like really bad for all the food inside the fridge,
isn't it?
Right.
And bad for the planet.
So I don't know if you're meant to not put hot things
in the freezer, I assume it's gonna like heat up
your entire freezer and everything
will go off.
Yeah, I think putting a freshly cooked bowl of rice into the freezer is bad for a number
of reasons.
That's the main thing that worries me about all of this.
Also putting hot, like a hot sauce in the fridge or freezer will make it go sour as well.
It's bad for the taste, it's bad for the change.
It's the makeup of the food, right?
It's a nice.
What's the solution?
I mean, if it's, right, if it's, if a bee's problem
is food waste, then that's one thing.
If their problem is just that they don't like the fact that they're, they've got to eat in a weird way,
you kind of have to go to let them deal with it. If you're a vegan and you're cooking your own meals and you're, you know,
using the right amount of food and cooking nice things and eating them, that's fine. I appreciate the problem is it's the smelly fridge, isn't it?
It's the stuff that's...
Yeah, I share a fridge with a vegan, so it's...
Yeah, it's... Yeah, it share a fridge with a vegan, so it's, yeah, it's, yeah, it's difficult.
I mean, what's like, is it, is it, you know, is it separate shelves?
Is it, you know, yeah, you're right.
There's, there's, there's kind of, to me, there's me, there's three areas.
There's the putting hot things in a fridge or freezer,
which is the first problem.
The second problem is her not being able to work out portions
and food waste.
And the third problem is sharing a fridge
with some way has different dietary requirements to you.
I've got a solution to number two, I think,
which is by small, the pots and pans.
Yeah.
You know, like those little egg-frying pans that you can get.
Yeah.
Remove your frying pan, replace it with a little egg-frying pan.
Get one of those proper little sauce pans, you know,
that are the types of sauce, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Sauce pans, yeah.
I did like, have that that. I said toothpaste earlier.
Similar vibe. Yeah. Yeah. It looks, it's well. It's a well thing. Yeah. I've got to say it's a
well thing. As in saucepan, that saucepan vibe. Exactly. So, you know, everyone is English.
So replace those. It's the, you're really small kind of ones, you know the ones you get where they
just do a little sauce in the restaurant, so everything gets small.
Yeah, exactly.
And then you're going to be able to control the portion size that's going on.
I've only cooked one grade of rice at a time.
And actually, I think we need slasses.
Yeah. And with a smaller fridge and freezer,
she's not going to be able to fit in big bowls of rice either.
So I think downscaling might be the answer here.
Like into a caravan.
Yeah, or like, you know, moving to a caravan or something,
and then she's not going to be able to go mad.
You can't go mad in a caravan. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, you know, and a fray bentos. That's about it mate. And there isn't a freezer, you
know, there's a little fridge. It's running off the battery. Scale it down. Yeah, scale it
down. Scale it down. I like that. I think scale it down is really good. So that actually
does that sold on hold on. And also it's really like that late, that move into the caravan.
My housemate cooks too much food.
The solution is moved to a caravan.
I can't be right here.
And also, if she's made this big bowl of rice and she's really late,
you could just drive her in the caravan.
If it's not a static caravan then yeah.
It gives her time to eat it on the go doesn't it?
People who live in a caravan, very rarely late.
Yeah.
Getting a cosvoy with all the bikes,
taking this guy to work.
I have a breakfast.
I'd rather be right to you breakfast.
A good one.
Be soft.
Be from the sun and I can be soft.
Right, here we go.
One more.
Let's get it done.
And this one, this one.
This round through it.
Come on. That's right. Come on, it's done and this one this round through it. Come on
So this one I think
This is this isn't an age old debate
This is from Ian by beef brothers podcast at gmail.com afternoon to you all I have a beef with my wife
Now I don't want a divorcee, but I will if you cannot find a solution which involves her remaining in the house. Big swing early doors from Ian here.
This beef has escalated recently when I delved into it and thought the best
medicine is to talk. Glad I did because it meant I can't resolve this on my own
now. It's gone too far. But, my partner puts a new roll of toilet paper with the flap at the back,
so you can't quite get to it or roll it out easily.
I, on the other hand, do it the proper way with the rolls flap rolling outwards.
Hopefully this makes sense.
I'm very anal about this, and I've tried using the paper the other way,
but it's not right, it's just not.
So I started asking about a year ago,
nicely to put the flap towards the front, when putting a new roll on the holder then I let
a couple slip through the net and then just turn them myself like a good husband and that's
the euphemism. I'm just going to let a couple slip through the net.
No, don't come with the slip through the net. It's great to think about where I'm fishing
right. Fish nets you don't have to take them down when you go for a pic.
Oh dear.
Like an image.
Like those Play Doe machines.
Oh man.
God Lord above what?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
That's one new catch phrase.
He's good though.
I like it.
What?
Oh. What? Right. Recently I thought He's good though, I like it. Oh, what? Oh, what?
Oh, what?
Right, recently I thought while turning the roll again,
she's doing this on purpose,
because to assist at least she would get it right
if not 50%, at least 75% at the time, surely.
I mentioned this and she says she doesn't think about it
when she puts it on, but she must be,
what's my next step to get the fucking flap pointing forwards, Tar-Eon?
Right. First of all, Katie, is this something that bothers you?
Yeah, I mean it just does, I've done it, I've done it kind of by accident or if I was in a hurry
or if I thought that'll do, because I know I'm coming back here to this room.
I'll do it.
I'm finished business.
Yeah, I mean, I guess, what I'm really curious about is really,
if she's doing it on purpose or not,
and if she is then why, and if it's's to annoy him or I'd love to know what
her and if it's if it's because she prefers it I'd love to know what like what the
justification is because it doesn't make sense in terms of the physics of pulling it
backwards. So I'm all my questions over her and she's not here to answer them.
You're not saying no. In fact, nor is Ian so you're going to have to just kind of ponder Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith You see them doing little things to annoying each other. It's like a little quirk, you see, quite a lot.
But do you think this is what's going on here
with Ian's partner, that she's kind of moving it
round the other way, or we're really putting it
on the other way, and they're going,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
What did he say?
He said something, didn't he?
Like, he suspects that she's doing it deliberately?
He said, recently I thought, while turning the role again,
she's doing this on purpose, because statistically,
she would get it right if not 50, at least 70% of the time, surely.
I mentioned this and she says she doesn't think about it when she puts it on, but she
must be.
I'm going to come in favor of this person who is not thinking about.
I don't think I would go on record and say as I don't think I've ever thought about it.
That's interesting. And I think physically her muscle memory will probably mean she puts it on one way more than the other way.
But I don't think there is any decision making going on in it. And I think maybe the way she goes hand into the packet, to think that that is probably always going the wrong way for him.
Yeah.
But I don't think it's on any level a choice.
I think it's an absence of thought that she's not even thinking.
And honestly, this guy needs to get over this
or there's a second option for him.
But it is never difficult to get to the end of a piece of Learoll.
You just spin at the front until you get to the bottom.
But I think you would always turn it around if you're someone who thinks about it,
getting it the right way before you put it on.
When you discover one the wrong way, you do just change it, I think.
But if you don't think about it, so I would say his option.
I would say why not have two?
Oh no, that doesn't quite work.
I can say two toilet roll holders.
One of the, one of the side of the toilet, if you can do that.
One that's his, you know, my wife and I, we have, we have a DVH.
It's all going through with felt to pen and mark the right side in every single role.
And then put them out and then say and then put
a sign.
Put a sign and like put a key that says this dot equals face out.
Yeah.
Now I like that because that's the onus on him to do that because it's clearly something
that bothers him doesn't affect her.
So I don't think she should have to change her system too much because she just needs
to just be the guy who does just make that one of your jobs.
What I love about this is the kind of, it's the gender reversal of it.
I really love the kind of gendered cliches that a woman would care about this more than a man.
And I love that it's the other way around.
This is really bothering Ian.
We only have, like we've got three loos in the house.
We only want to do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it.
We do it. We do it. We do it. We do it. We do it. for my three ourselves. Me and the toy team. And the...
I like that kind of humour.
Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me.
We finally got that.
I don't know.
It took us 10 years, boys.
10 long years, but we've tickled Katie with.
I'm sad the front row of your seat,
Stony Faze, but technically...
And you've cracked, you've finally
cracked me up. We said we'd crack it, what, we'd get there in the end.
Took a while. We wore it down. Just a decade of work.
But we're all going to quantum leap out of our bodies now. Oh boy. Oh boy. Where are you going to go?
To a wet market.
So we're going to contemplate into Tom Hanks' wedding.
We'll see soon.
So yeah, so we've only got a toilet roll holder
in one of those toilets.
And it doesn't matter.
The toilet on the system, the toilet roll on the system,
and it's fine.
It doesn't make a difference.
If you've got a system.
You've got three.
I think it's absolutely five.
I see what I hate when you stay somewhere
and the toilet is placed behind you.
So, I mean, this is more for women when you're sitting down.
So you have to do this.
You have to do this to get it.
I really hate that.
That is why I always face the wall, like a cool teacher.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
You can probably book on the system.
Yeah, exactly.
You can read a magazine or whatever while you're doing it.
Yeah.
So it's just go the other way actually.
It's quite invigorating.
We did it.
Because the flush comes right down the middle.
Oh, it works like a B-Day as well, isn't it?
But for you.
Do you do that on what I like to do?
Do you do it?
Yes.
Yes. And do it yes and do you
pretend do you say it was true true true yeah was it a true poo it was a true
poo yes that's right ladies German he really did do a poo is it like the
voicey flush and he turned round would If you're still around, would I like to poo?
Should I, should I pitch them, would I like to poo?
So you've got David Mitchell and Liam Mc and Rob Rydner all sat on laughs.
We don't know, we don't know which one of them is shitting the time.
The whole time I guess.
So is it like a close up on all their faces, like to see who who is doing it.
And they tell a story at the same time.
I only wanted these comedians is shitting.
Yeah. I have to tell their story.
Oh my god.
Not a bad idea for a show, I just think.
That's good.
Should we go to Dave?
Definitely watch that.
It's got a Dave vibe, UK TV vibe. It's good. Should we go to Dave? Definitely watch that. It's got a Dave
Vib. UKTV vibe. Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's
think because they're always looking, you know, like in the way that Cats does
countdown, it's like it took the old format of eight out of ten cats and you
know, and countdowns spun it on its head. This is, you know, it's two things that
the nation loves, willty and shitting. We've combined two things that people are just,
people are into them, right?
They're very, very popular.
This is good.
This can be the making of us.
Yeah, you get some top names.
Talking about the toilet roll being behind you,
the, we did a gig in Ireland.
I think it was in, in Limerick.
And I was in the Lou after the gig and I looked to both sides of me and behind me and I couldn't see the toilet roll.
It was beyond the you know it wasn't like I could change Lou's, couldn't see the toilet roll so I sort of rifeed through my pockets and I found a receipt, it was all I had, and so I had to do the business with a receipt.
And then, as I was sort of trying to flush away the receipt,
I sort of the toilet roll.
It was just there.
I don't know why I missed it.
It was just on one of the walls.
It was a little bit higher, maybe,
than you would normally put it.
It wasn't eye-level.
But I just sort of, I'd looked kind of like from back to both sides and behind me and gone
Well, I only one thing for it and they have to wipe my ass on a receipt
It was awful. It was pretty painful and scratching. That's like a Greek tale
And really like feels really fundamental to being a human
I really felt like I learned a lesson,
like you do when you hear a Greek tale,
it was like slow down, take your time,
really be present, really look.
It makes for a really good school assembly, wouldn't it?
Yeah, it's so school assembly.
It's so right.
It reeks of Mr. Crossbees forgot to prepare
an assembly, so he's telling us the story of his poo at the weekend. Right. It reeks of Mr. Crosby's forgotten affair and assembly.
So he's telling us the story of his poo at the weekend.
You can see the kids had loved it and then the teachers
didn't like it.
The crossbees really found that in this.
Yeah.
Rife and thrice, boss.
That's so funny.
We've made memoirs.
So many of our assemblies were at things like,
this is what happened to Wickerus.
That is actually what our assemblies were like.
Yeah.
I really want to make a documentary about primary school
assemblies.
Oh, yeah.
In those.
You spend time with different headmasters
or headmistresses, and then you film a bunch of their assemblies,
and then you get them bunch of their assemblies and they you get them talking about their assemblies because
I mean like especially at primary school level those head teachers have a
captive audience they have carte blanche on what they want to do a lot of them will play the guitar because they play the guitar
And they want to sing or they've got a song they want like it's such a fascinating
Level of performance that goes on all the time.
And if you're, especially at primary school,
I think it makes for a really good series.
It's a really good idea.
We had a teacher who, again, he loved playing the guitar.
One time he played a song he'd written
about how much he liked Elton John.
Yeah, he did.
That was his, and that wasn't primary school.
That was secondary school.
Wow. That was secondary school. Wow.
The head of sixth. The head of sixth.
Played a song about how much you enjoyed Elton John.
It was a great song. I loved it.
You were selling CDs after it was a ball.
There was one comic relief day where we had to make a suggestion of what would be funny.
And my suggestion was I think it'd be funny if the,
if all the teachers had to eat their lunch, sat cross-legged in the school hall like we
did, and we, and all the pupils got to sit up on the, you know, big tables and chairs.
And in the assembly that the headmaster, he, he, he put, he picked my suggestion and read
it out and everyone sort of went, aha, that was funny. And he said, so this is what we're going to do.
Katie and I are going to have lunch together at the big table.
And you're all going to watch and have your just, you know, where you are.
So it was really weird and embarrassing.
So he made us have, he, me and Edmoss have this like,
romantic dinner at the stage.
And I was like maybe nine
And I just had my normal like pack lunch and he had his meal
But he'd kind of put water in a caravan
Caravan that was it yeah, I'd like pretended to pour me out wine
So you would have a date with you. Yeah in front of the school. That's basically what it was
He instead of doing my suggestion. He went so, we'll have a day and everyone will watch.
And I felt so uncomfortable.
And when he poured the water, I said,
mm, I could get used to this.
And I was like, no, I just remember really clearly saying that,
thinking that's what you're supposed to say.
It was so weird.
I could get used to this.
And then, everything with your teacher.
Yeah, I was nine, and it was creepy,
because the rest, until I left for big school,
we just, it's like we had this secret when we looked
at each other, it was really mad and intense.
How did that affect your relationship
with the other kids in the school?
Yeah, the second thing I was saying.
I know.
How is that formed?
Yeah.
I know everyone you've ever been to bed
would have to wear a mortar board for no, no, no,
it's the call me Mr. Time.
It wasn't a posh enough school, no one was wearing a mortar board believe it.
Well I was going to say it doesn't sound like a posh enough school because you're all sat,
you had your lunch on the floor sat cross-legged.
Oh yeah, I mean it was just like a bit as tiny little primary school in South Wales.
I don't know, I think some kids are a bit jealous.
It was like, why have I been picked out to go on a day?
I could imagine, that's what I was thinking,
if it's a film, you could pan across a line of
like other kind of nine-year-olds being like,
that's a set of, like,
but I also remember the vibe was nobody gave a shit as well.
Like, it was just like, okay, it's, well it's red nose day.
So I guess, you know, it's crazy, whatever.
It's a crazy day.
I could get used to this as a credible life.
That's right.
Somebody could get used to this.
Have you used that line since?
Have you used that, do you?
I've not ever seen that.
I've really not.
When someone's pouring your pint at the bar.
Oh, who's get used to this.
You just say it seriously.
Can I get you a drink?
Come back and get used to this.
I'm going to start using that now.
I'm definitely next time.
Oh yeah, just pouring some orange juice in the morning.
Hmm.
I can get used to this.
Only one glass that across me has you'll be weeing in one of your three top
little. I can't go over the hat trick. Well there you go, is that beef sauce? I mean,
is it? I feel like we've moved away from it now. We could certainly to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use to it.
I'm going to use it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use to it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use you. It's lovely to see you as well. Do you want to
just very quickly tell us about your book, where people can go? Oh, yeah. So I've written the book
and it's out at the moment. In hard back, you can get it in all the usual places, but the
all I've just finished doing the audio books, that'll be out soon, which is exciting. And it's, yeah, it's a memoir. It's called Delacacy. And as you'd imagine,
it's about my life. And you know, it's funny things alongside some quite kind of depressing things,
but I've tried to make it funny, but you know, it's thoughtful and right. Does it feature the
story of you and the headmaster? No, it doesn't
feature that. That's how good this book is that that story was rejected. So
imagine how good it is. Oh, how tantalizing. We got it. We got a deleted scene
from the book. I love it. Yeah. So good. Yeah. Well, yeah, thank you so much for
coming on the podcast. You've been an absolute joy. It was lush, thank you.
Be from the starting at your beef!
Bukkats!
So there we go!
What a treat that was.
Check out K2Wix's book.
It's definitely going to be worth a read.
Absolutely right.
And if you enjoy K2Wix, then we have a bonus beef with K2Wix
on our Patreon.
So an extra bonus beef that wasn't included in the episode.
And that can be found at patreon.com,
forward slash, Pappy's Flatshare, along with all of our extra bonus beef that wasn't included in the episode and that can be found at patreon.com, forward slash, pappies, flat share, along with all of our extra bonus beefs that we've done, all
of our flat share lockdowns, all of our love sex shag downs, loads of other stuff. The
jingle is a single from our flat share slam down. There's loads of good stuff over on
the Patreon, over a hundred episodes that you get immediately as soon as you join.
So well worth joining.
There we go. Thanks for your ear canals. As always, today's episode was produced by Emma over on the Patreon, over a hundred episodes that you get immediately as soon as you join. So, well worth joining.
There we go, thanks for your ear canals.
As always, today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham.
Corsham.
Corsham.
Corsham.
Cheers everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
Riff, riff, riff, riff, riff, riff, riff, riff, riff,
please be upstanding.
Riff, riff, riff, riff,
for I'm the I'm a, and it's the Patreon neighborhood
watch Ruff call!
Dwa's a Ruff, Ruff Knight.
Ruff, Ruff.
Ruff, Ruff, Ruff, I'm a dog that is coming apart at the seams, because my owner is Leon Eames. Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff Rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough rough Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff I am a dog and I'm also a boy. The other night I went to the pub and got drunk. And now,
let me just tell you, my hair is sore and my owner is Kevin Redshaw. Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff And I am a boy that is plain for all to see.
Take a look at my big dog, Dick.
Oh!
My old name is Mark B.
Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff.
I am a dog, but I'm mostly a boy.
Can you see from my massive nuts?
Please look at my nuts.
And then appreciate my nuts for they make me a boy.
I am a dog.
Look at my dog, Dick.
He's slightly curly.
I am a dog.
I am a boy and my own worst Robert Shirley
I'm not a dog, but I'll never tell you what I am
But I... Hi! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha worry about that now wuff wuff wuff wuff oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho How are we yield? And we yield? Who's that over there milking me?
It's Matthew Pussfield.
Oh boy!
And stare into my asshole!
He'll give you the joy!
Look at my dog dick and cause a plava.
My owner's name is cause a plava.
My owners name is Kirin Lava. Wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, w say when they see me running through a field of hay they say watch out dog don't
scratch your dick because that hay is scratchy and that's the trick you got it
tuck your dog dick into your asshole if you're running through a field of
parsley that's why that's why that was advice was given to me by my own son, how sleeeeee Woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, woop, I'm not playing, never apologise. You are a gaffee. I'm sorry, you're one of all so not.
There's no fucking way.
I'm a fucking pig.
Look at my twirly dick.
Cowdog.
Cowdog.
Cowdog.
Cow, hello.
It's Becky Twing.
OK, Becky.
Woff-Wee. Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff-Woff- Wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, sick and then I'll run around and say fuck you old man old McDonald's stick your
farm up your ass I've got a new owner he's the real man and his name's his
James Peters I've got a dick and listen to me. I painted a new soul that everyone can see.
I'm a dog, I'm a dog and I swirl it around.
I'm a slapping on my belly, make a slap slap sound.
Let me pull out my balls, let me tell you, come on, let me tell you.
Let me tell you what happened when I went to craft.
Let me tell you what happened when I went to Croft's? Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!
Let me tell you what happened when I went to Croft's.
I showed them my dick.
I said, is this enough?
They said it's way too much.
The category is most obedient.
Don't you see?
And the first rule of being an obedient dog is you don't whip out your throbbing hog, so get out of here.
You silly guy. Get out of here before you make an old woman cry. Get out of here.
And I'll get out here before I catch Felix. Get out of here with your own atim sealant. Wuff, wuff,, I just want to come inside and be loved. the people they slaughtered by family. It is so deathly. Please save me. Tracy Jeffrey. Don't come a dog! Wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, w deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot more.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Poor things.
It's a like theaters, December 15.