Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Max and Ivan S10E03
Episode Date: January 21, 2020The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guests Max and Ivan Max and Ivan - https://twitter.com/maxandivanPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweet If you have a flats...hare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to beefbrotherspodcast@gmail.comSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee us live3rd February - https://dice.fm/event/k8vao-pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-podcast-3rd-feb-moth-club-london-ticketsProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom.
I'm Ben.
And I'm Matthew and welcome to another episode of Beef Brothers Cup Cups.
Oh, baby.
It's coming at your cold beef.
Whoa, it has come at your cold beef.
It's a spacho-cold beef.
No, it's called tomato.
I don't know why I think that.
It's called a cup of cow-pacho.
Car-pacho.
Is anyone ever gone for a gaspacho and car-pacho? I think it's a car patch. Car patch. Car patch. Car patch.
Does anyone ever gone for a Gaspacho and Car Patcho?
Gaspacho.
And Car Patcho.
And it's a car patchy meal, bar, day, a man brother.
Anyway, this is a treat of a beef brothers.
We have the ever busy double act, Max Navan.
Yes, they fall on Friends of the Show.
They fall on Friends of ours and Friends of the Show. They are, yeah,
they're one of our absolute favorite acts. Perry's knocking
stuff over with Delight. They're one of our favorite acts. If
you ever get to see them on tour, please do. I think they do
a little plug for their tour. They're on tour at the moment.
They're just a brilliant act. If you ever see them on a bill
near you, go and see them. They're fantastic. What I'd like to
say before we get into the episode is that we've had some emails.
Oh yeah.
What have they been sent to?
Well, they've been sent to beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com, which you can send an email to us
today too.
Do it today.
Don't wait.
Don't delay.
Don't delay.
Don't wait.
And this one is from...
Do you remember Tony?
Of course.
Strong, for a name.
Do you remember Tony, don't you? Yes.
This is from the Brona episode, from a few months ago now,
where he was the guy who stacked his dishwasher
in a certain way, and the rest of his family didn't like it.
He likes it.
He writes, he's back in touch.
He's back in touch.
Gentle peeps.
Thanks for the wise, slash ridiculous, slash,
Arman-centered, delete as preferred advice. I played the podcast to the wise, slash ridiculous, slash, almond-centred, delete as preferred advice.
I played the podcast to the fan, and they both chuckled
and nodded their heads as my deconstruction escalated.
Oh, yeah, we really went to town on Tony, didn't we?
Poor old toad.
Since the faded, toad, toad.
Toad.
Poor old toad.
Since the faded broadcast, there has been a definite
and concerted effort to mix cutlery,
lean dishes between side plates and plop in the biggest, could be hand washing a few seconds
bowls, such that the spinning jets are blocked on the whole cycle needs to run twice to avoid
bait and dirt.
So what's happened is, chaos has come again, chaos has come again to poor old Tony's lifestyle,
and they don't even hide their sniggers as the tall glass is going to the low height draw.
Well, the last laugh is on them
because I've hidden the dishwasher salt.
Yeah, you're telling me.
Fight your tiny, fragile, sad old bastard.
It's a short distraction.
I've hidden the dishwasher salt
and drawn up an Excel spreadsheet, hand washing,
slash drying rotor, which I am not on
for when the dishwasher
inevitably breaks. He ends it by saying, wah, wah, wah, wah, Tony, my will shall not be
broken. PS Arthur says, hi, hi Arthur. Hi Arthur. Hi Arthur, you legend. You know what,
keep doing what you're doing. Don't pay any attention to your dad's slightly mad dishwasher.
Buy your own dishwasher, saw every kitchen have your own dishwasher,
salt. Oh, these classic stocking filler.
Absolutely. Yeah, into the sock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chucky dishwasher.
Salted.
Absolutely.
Salted.
Kids.
Kids love it.
And please keep us informed on how that situation evolves.
Tony, please get back in touch.
Tell us how it's going.
Tell us what's going on.
And if anybody's had their beef solved on beef brothers
cold cuts, we always like to go back and check again.
Oh, yeah.
Here has successful we've been.
Here has successful.
And let's see how successful we are with this week's beefs.
Enjoy.
Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem.
If you've got a problem call it a beef. If you've got a problem, don't call it a problem, if you've got a problem, call it a B.
If you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from the zoning at your B.
Welcome to the show, Max and Evan.
Hey.
Hello.
Thanks for having us.
That's a total pleasure.
So, what kind of, well, let's, let's, you've lived with each other in Edinburgh, presumably.
We have.
Yes, but only in Edinburgh.
We've never, you've never lived together.
Unlike other.
Have you guys lived, I mean, other than the flat side?
Me and Tom had a couple of stints living together.
Yes.
How long we talking?
We had a couple of years in his parents' house together,
where I lived in Ben's mom and dad's front room.
What have I forgotten about?
What have I forgotten about?
What have I forgotten about?
What have I forgotten about?
What have I forgotten about?
What have I forgotten about? What have've forgotten about what? I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what?
I've forgotten about what? I've forgotten about what? I've forgotten about what? I've forgotten about what? I've forgotten about what? bed which was now am I right in thinking it was the mattress on the floor with four posters
made from VHS cassettes. Yes. But because it was Christmas time, the clocks had a very
very well decorated Christmas tree that they kept turned on 24 hours a day. And the curtains
I've been to the the name as could see. Of course. That's a nice Christmas tree. But on the
floor. And so we slept under the Christmas tree under the Christmas tree on a mattress surrounded by VHS
You were the Christmas morning
I think it was about nine months. I actually at the end was it and when you stay in someone's front room normally you
I actually at the end was it? And when you stay in someone's front room, normally you take the sheets off the sofa or whatever.
Did you do that for nine months every morning or did you just set up?
They gave me the front room and then they used the middle room as a lounge.
The middle room.
Oh, nice.
Except for his from landed gentry.
He's a old man.
It's a pretty big house.
Yeah, yeah. It's a pretty big house. Yeah, yeah.
It's just like a steakie home.
They're like a lounge in the middle room.
But their front room, they let me rent.
So I rent for like five pounds of month or something.
Which I still didn't pay.
Because like, who does that brand?
He never paid it.
And for fans of the podcast, Tom,
are you managing the address again? If you want fans of the podcast, Tom Romani, did you dress again?
Yes.
If you want to visit the room, actually,
we turn into a living museum.
It's f***ing...
You can't do it with these stately homes.
Anybody can pay for themselves.
In these country piles, they're really a deffemmarage money.
Absolutely.
They have to either be rented out to film pornography in...
Or if you know.
That's...
Or rented out to people who don't pay their rent.
Is that what the Tower of VHS is where on each corner of the mattress? It was all grumble
It was all homemade grumble that Harry and I had filmed under a Christmas tree
Very festive but of course now what with streaming it's all up on porn up a free isn't it? Exactly. Anyway, do we see a penny of it? Do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do we bother to do of it? Do we ball it? Do we ball it? Do we ball it? It's been a big fan of that one.
I watched a grainy, four and a half minute clip of it earlier today.
And it's sequel Do What Ballet.
Ballet, yeah, very tuned for.
What was it? The musical?
Do what ballet?
Do what ballet?
Show up, show up.
Yeah, so that's, yeah, so we did that,
and then we lived together in Stratton.
But festival flatmates is a different type of flatmates. We've all lived together, you know,
the three of us have all lived together
during the Edinburgh Festival.
And it's a very intense living arrangement
because you are working together every day
in a very stressful situation.
You can't see being judged and you're
listening by your housemates.
By your housemates and by yourself.
And then at the end of the show,
you sort of, we don't often socialise a lot.
In Edinburgh, we didn't use to socialise a lot together.
We do a bit.
We'd often just sort of disappear
and not see each other in and kind of eventually
regroup in the morning.
That's like a bunch of feral cat.
Look in your wounds. And if Anne, what is Max Likers a Red and Raflatley?
Well since we got big enough to have our own bedrooms.
Oh my God.
That's when you really have your makeup in a journey.
It was quite a moment actually before that it was a bit sad.
But did you share a bed?
We've done all of the permutations, I think,
of all of the reasonable ones.
We haven't camped in a tent like James A. Casta did famously.
He camped in a tent one year and it flooded his laptop cups.
There was one in him.
What might have been?
I don't mind saying, I saw some promise in that, lad.
And I think, you know, having lived for the laptop,
he could have been some of the ideas got completely flooded.
There was one year that Max had one half of a double bed,
and the other half was taken to just other people
that were turning up across the line.
We were fully missold.
Our mate was like, lad, don't even worry about searching
for accommodation. I've got your place. It's in Brist, Lads, don't even worry about searching for accommodation.
I've got your place.
It's in Bristow Square, right in the heart of the action.
We were like, OK, brilliant, a flat.
And it wasn't that expensive.
We were like, well, I mean, this is almost too good to be true.
So it was as all Edmund reflects our 11th floor of a,
never, the ground, I don't know if Edmund reflects,
have a ground floor, I've never seen it.
But it wasn't normally there, at least like double height kind of big, you know, big spacious
fact. This one, someone had clearly like put an extra floor in.
That's the whole thing.
That's the whole thing.
So we were, first things to do.
You were testing a half floor, as we were, right?
Yeah, the ten and half floor, very much living in the eaves of this thing, like completely
not legal.
I'm not a tall man, but it was small for me.
Small. Yeah. Five at seven? Yeah. Five at seven if Angon's honest. Completely not legal. I'm not a tall man, but it was small for me. Small?
Yeah.
Five at seven?
Yeah, five at seven, if Angers are.
Have you still got the details?
I might use it next year.
That's why.
That's why it's a big deal.
Small for five for seven, it's crazy for me.
Out, hello.
Not furthermore, we haven't been told,
and this isn't the trending, but there was no bedding
of any kind at all.
So we had to buy like duves, duvets, covers, pillows, and pillowcases in the first day.
That's not on. That's the final straw was, yeah, that every bed had been divided in two,
with no rhyme or reason. And so we were just sharing...
Not physically divided in two, it was just a double bed.
I wish there had been a physical barrier. So it'd been depending on people like oh by the
way I'm in here tonight as well. 100%. What? The lowest moment being when halfway through the
Edinburgh Festival I broke my ankle and went up 10 and a half litres of stairs every day.
Also went from having like a quite a dry focused Edinburgh. I was like, fuck this, I mean, quite a lot of pain.
So got quite, just quite drunk for the rest of the month.
But woke up with a very, very, very foul smelling
spoken word poet, Brittany, other kind.
Brittany.
I'm breathing into my mouth with a long scratchy ginger beard.
And he just drunkenly took my clothes off.
I didn't want to name names.
And that's how I met Ben.
And we've shared a bed ever since.
And it's just got better and better.
And is it inspired your spoken word poetry? Yes. And we've shared a bed ever since. We have. And it's just got better and better.
And is it inspired your spoken word poetry?
Yes.
I'm sure you've heard it from the other side.
For more blood, I still got it.
I honestly can't rhyme with yes.
Yeah, yeah.
For more of that, it's even used every single day up until the festival.
And then he's been asked to stop.
It's a lot cheaper to get the September through July run.
Absolutely, yeah.
OK, so let's solve some beef shall we?
Let's solve some beef.
I'll tell you what, Max, why don't you take this one?
Yeah.
Read it, read it.
Read it, please.
Read it aloud.
A loud would be useful.
Allowed is always.
I'm learning the right way to the pod game.
You don't care for these facial expressions I'm pulling.
It's all about the tone.
This is from Christian.
Hello Christian.
It's from Strongfront name.
Strongfront name.
Strongfront name.
A DP religious font name I would say.
What is this?
One of the most religious, in fact,
are there any other religions that can be a font name?
Let's get into it.
Jew.
Jew. We know someone called Jew. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for a plush. Jew. No. We know someone for You've got the shaving head. Bless you.
You've got the thoughtful and calm to me now.
Actually, I'm just going to stick with the shaving.
The shaving head is one of the things I'm going to say.
The fucking shaibon, eh?
This is the EDL religion.
You're...
For some.
For some people it is some.
Well, let's read this, let's find out.
Christian says,
My neighbour up the road has a large England flag.
I thought they should give me the idea.
I thought I'm going to shift it back to the email because I've read this already.
Oh, yeah, right.
Okay, nicely done.
My neighbor up the road has a large England flag hanging off the front of his house.
Cornleg.
Permanently.
Apparently it's just one sentence.
I think it looks stupid, but I recognize that it's okay to express yourself, and there
shouldn't be anything seen as inherently offensive in a flag.
That's very judicious, he's been there, isn't he?
Incredibly judicious.
He does qualify on the floor.
He qualifies it with, unless the swastika, and possibly the Confederate flag these days,
even if they were just good old boys, never meaning no harm.
Lovely jeans of added reference, and I enjoy that very much.
Like digression into a defense of the Confederacy there.
Well, I don't know if I'm Christian.
It's a bit of a, it's a bit of 80s TV nostalgia,
rather than anything else.
OK, just a TV show that's dated a bit badly.
Um, Christian says,
I've thought about hanging my own flag in petty retaliation.
I like this.
But I don't know what to go with.
I'm neither a sports fan nor particularly fond of piracy.
Should I...
LAUGHTER
Those are the two flags I'm afraid.
The two left. The two sports team or the skull and crossbones.
Yes.
Uh, should I flag up, my concern to my neighbour?
I have a least half of a Christian.
Flag up myself in response.
He's overusing me.
We call it mate.
He's paced himself into a corner with his flag up by Dears.
It's a second one, and his third is just, or keep stup.
Okay, the answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind.
Oh, Chris.
Cool, just wait till we end it.
Literally bit of business from Chris.
I've been telling him Chris is from Chris.
Firstly, the beat rates, he's converted me.
I'm a big England flag. I'm going to become a Christian. business from Christy. Firstly, the big, he's converted me.
I'm a big England flag.
I'm going to become a cup of Christian.
Have you ever had a flag?
Can I throw another house into this beef?
What?
Yeah.
What?
Very specific.
In 2004, was there a Euro or a World Cup?
Or around then?
2004, yeah, or was it you-R-U-R, yeah.
The house at the end of my road painted the red...
The George Cross.
The St. George Cross, yeah.
On the house, still there to this day.
My Google Maps is going a bit bad,
but that's on Google Street View.
So that isn't even a flag, the house is the flag. The't even a flag. The house is a flag.
The house is the flag.
The house is a flag.
The house is the flag and has been for 15 years.
Right.
Beautiful.
That is, that's quite intense now,
because in my area of Penge,
there's this guy who goes round and he will do
a big mule wrong beside of your house if you want it.
So I'm glad you added that. The other guy who will do a big mule on the side of your house if you want it. So, um, I'm glad you added that.
The other guy who will do one, especially if you don't want it.
Oh, there's loads of those going in Penge as well.
They'll take your flat for no money at all.
Twin brothers at the end of a road, one pain, certainly.
One that has permission, the other one is a little more renegade.
One's bank see the other one is a little more renegade. One's Banksy, the other one's thanks. LAUGHTER
So, as a result, there's a house just round the corner for me
that has got a giant owl
that is one side of the house is just a big painting of an owl.
There's a British owl.
I mean, it's hard to say.
I'm assuming it's a British owl. I mean, the album has a beret, is eating it for Gets,
and it's got a string of ideas around his neck.
But who's not to say it's just been on a holiday?
Then, look, House Over the Road for Me has a couple of sort of
Banksy style badges.
And I think, I mean, I might be going insane here, but I think the Banksy style badges are holding bananas like guns.
That sounds about right.
That's very, very, it's very Banksy.
Yeah.
So some badges on the side of, so it's animals.
It's creeping into our area of sort of what,
the animals of Farthingwood meet edge urban street art
and that's sort of getting into our area.
And crucially, what would you have on your,
I mean, this is an option for you now.
Well, we don't own the entirety of the front of our house. We only own the bottom half of the getting into our area. And crucially, what would you have on your, I mean, this is an option for you now.
Well, we don't own the entirety of the front of our house.
We only own the bottom half of the front of our house.
Okay.
So it would have to be a small animal,
yeah, a vol, perhaps.
Yeah.
A vol, yeah, a vol on the window frame.
A vol giving the V sign for peace.
Oh, you know what?
A vol flicking the V's at the Queen.
V for vol.
What about that?
V for vol, yeah. Yeah. V for vol, I don's at the Queen. V for Vole. What about that? V for Vole.
Yeah.
V for Vole.
Why don't you see the problem with this beef is public art?
No, the problem with this beef.
I tell you.
I mean, the flag is ours.
Well, I think it's more about the, you know,
the connotations of ugly patriotism
that the English seem to have a problem with.
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
And we have to ask ourselves, if this is a different country
with a different flag, is this beef being written in?
Well, here's the question.
Why doesn't he just stick another country's flag,
I mean, in his window?
And then encourage his other neighbors
to stick other country flags all along the street.
And it just becomes, this is like a lovely model United
Nations.
Yes. But it might become like hold on, we're all literally flagging up. Here we are. Well, I am after reading that letter.
Listen, it's not saying, I'm an Italian person living in this house therefore I'm going
to have an Italian flag.
The model United Nations is literally, everyone gets given a place and you become that
place to it to do your kind of...
Yes.
It feels like he said, I thought about hanging out my own flag.
He doesn't know what to go with.
So it feels like if he had...
Yeah, this is it.
...to another flag. This is what I was thinking. So it feels like if he had... Yeah, this is it. ...to another flag.
This is what I was thinking.
So do we send him a flag?
Yes.
Is that what we saw on a flag that he can go with?
Or we come up with a...
We come up with a...
A flag...
A flag...
Flag-share.
Flag-share.
Flag-share, slam down.
And so...
A flag-much.
LAUGHTER
And we're here for compliance.
We're struggling enough getting the badges to people.
I don't know.
It's constantly adopted the idea of the black.
Those teachers sorted in January and then, flag production begins.
Flag production begins.
Hard to design a flag.
The black country came up with a flag in the last five years.
They had a competition.
Oh, and it was like we need a row of flags.
We need a row of flags.
And someone created the black
country flag and it's like two metal like chainings. Yeah,
so it's like two links of a chain. Yeah, and is it red and
black and white? Yeah, and kind of diagonal. It's cropped up a lot
now in the you'll see it outside people's houses and it's the is there a lot of
Steel production or something in the black country that with a mitha link to the chain come from
Big BDSM community and
That's very you know they're into the Kingston's their Kingston's I won't kink chain the black country
So no, I
By that before
Well, that's your king
That is my king
So colors that aren't used in flags purple. Do you think of any purple flags?
It's a good but well if you can think of any purple flags, please email in be fullers podcast at gmail.com
I mean you keep the first thing I was thinking of, the UKIP.
Yeah, yeah.
And also, there is a, because UKIP is purple and gold or purple and yellow, and there's
a blackout and a state agent.
So there's a state agent down my, in Sydney, when they've got the big awning, it's right
by your house, Clarky.
It might, I've come to the news, it might be Robinson Jackson.
And I always think, they've got a big awning
out and they're always handing out leaflets. I always think it's like you Kip have camped
on the high street to hand out leaflets. Just trying to get people to...
No, I've run them off. I've run them off out of town.
You sort of... Clarky, what are you saying?
You're a sort of vigilante.
You're a floenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You're a phoenix. You Are you seeing them out? Clark, yeah, believe you wrote the poem about you, you keep them just nose. That's the right.
That put them in their place.
So I take a brown flag.
A brown flag.
How about a brown, what is it say?
What's it say to the world?
It's not saying.
If you're hanging a piece of brown fabric outside
your window.
Again, there are certain black country houses where
it is considered a signal.
It's a signal. It's like flashing headlights.
If you're flying the brown flag then expect a knock at midnight.
And you better have a glass coffee table.
When the brown flag is flying, the basement is as crying.
Is it like the different coloured smoke coming out the top of the Vatican?
Yes, if there's brown smoke coming out, it's the person taking the sheet of the words.
The brown flag is getting burnt. Okay, so... Top of the Vatican. Yes. If there's browns put coming out, I mean, to take it in the woods, it's probably not in the end.
That's definitely his getting bad.
OK.
Brownsport means heroin addiction, doesn't it?
Oh, jeep, it's creepy.
I like it.
I like it.
Christian, do you, do you, do you chase the dragon?
Brownsport?
Are you on the horse?
Do get back in touch.
Do you just put a dragon flag?
If you flag up, why not vein up?
That's what I mean.
Flag up and smack up.
I mean, I don't want to get talk sport on this.
OK.
I can see you with a late in career talk sport show.
Yeah.
There's a second sentence.
I think it looks stupid, but I recognise that it's OK to express yourself and there shouldn't
be anything seen as inherently offensive in a flag.
Right?
Right.
So isn't it OK for him to fly this large England flag in the neighbour?
Yes.
So you're basically saying live and let live.
You're saying let him fly the flag, if you've got no particular allegiance to a sports
team or to any country, don't fly a flag out of house.
And we don't know if this guy, the neighbours, a sports fan, he's just flying a large England
flag.
You know.
When he says, should I flag at my concerns with my neighbour, what are you going to say to
him?
I don't like the flag you have.
That's not what I can do.
I think the only thing you can do is counter with your own flag.
So that's, yeah, so they're the two options here.
Or keep stomachs is third.
So, you know.
What about being the alpha Englishman and out Englishify this person by out flagging
him? Yeah. By having. By by out flagging him. Yeah, by having...
By painting a flag, perhaps.
Yeah, turn your house into the flag.
I mean, it's good, except what was the phrase used?
I think it looks silly.
It's very much spiced.
I think it's stupid.
I think it looks stupid.
So I don't know if he thinks one,
if one flag looks stupid,
if like 400 flags
all over his house, is it gonna look,
is it gonna balance out?
What about a flag that just says flag?
And it's like by doing that, he sends out
and like the guy will be like,
oh, that feels quite Banksy.
The flag, the flag flag.
A flag that says flag on it.
A flag that says flag.
Yeah.
And then he would be flagging his neighbor's flag with his own flag. So it that says flag on it. A flag that says flag. Yeah. And then he would be flagging his neighbours flag
with his own flag.
So it's good word in it.
Flag.
It's lost all meaning to me.
Now we say, so a flag that simply says flag,
that's your idea over my idea of encouraging everyone
in the streets to get a flag of a different nation
and running a model United Nations with all of your neighbours.
It's a great way to keep the community together.
Do you have to, would they meet up every Thursday to discuss what, you know?
Doesn't have to be Thursday actually, I think I know Christians got a thing on Thursday.
We'll check this out.
Yeah, yeah.
But yes, we can, so my proposal is he gets a big flag, the same size of the England flag
and he writes on it, another flag.
Another flag.
Oh, another flag.
And he sticks it up, opposite.
There's an element, it's just the right side of Passag.
I think, but I like it.
Passag, Lang.
Passag, yeah.
That's the reason you work together.
You can't steal each other out.
Yes.
So we either go pass flag or we go model UN.
I mean, there are two options.
I'm voting model UN.
So talk us through the model UN very quickly.
Everyone in the street has to agree to take part in the...
So you say, no, Christian can do a V for Vendetta,
posts everybody a flag.
Lovely.
And say, and say, please, just kidding.
That one happens in V for Vendetta.
Well, they've seen the film.
They post each other flags.
The guy posts everybody a mask. Right, right, seen the film. They post each other flags. The guy posts everybody a mask.
Right, right, right.
And you know, everybody fought each other.
Everyone in the country.
Yeah.
Or London, at least.
Still must have been beef for broke after that.
I mean, I'm having trouble with the t-shirts for the men.
You know what this guy is doing?
These t-shirts, they said the sun is pop-ups.
These episodes coming out in late January.
Have you got your t-shirts guys?
Do you write in before the podcast?
Are you flying in flags?
So you're saying we post it...
I live at number 32 in this street.
I wake up on Wednesday morning and I've got the Moroccan flag on my doorstep.
I'm not going to be like, what is this?
They're googling, it's the Moroccan flag. No, they're being ugly.
No, it's saying you've got the Moroccan,
how is he Morocco in the Mollog United Nations on this road?
Right.
You might get a letter from the ambassador of Morocco.
Display?
Yeah, exactly.
He might.
Why, you might do.
I think that means he's a bit infrastructure.
Crossed, he's posted with the Moroccan flag.
The ambassador of Morocco is going to get it.
He's very across where these flags are going.
He's sold you the flag.
He's going to go sell with the flag. He's going to go sell with the flag. You get the flag free from each of the to get it. He's very across where these flags are going. He's sold you the flag.
He's going to sell you the flag.
He's sold you the flag.
Do you get the flag free from each of the embassies?
They come through.
They give you a little welcome pack based on your,
it's about cross-pollination.
Do you think, you know how sometimes like,
they'll declare it a part of, do you think,
you could get your name as to declare their flat
a part of Morocco?
Absolutely, a principality of Morocco.
A little principality that's exactly what I was going for.
Absolutely.
So this is what we're going to do.
Next door is going to be a principality of Morocco. Next door to that is the principality of my life. A principality that's exactly what I was going for, yeah. Absolutely. So this is what we're going to do.
So next door is going to be a principality of Morocco.
Next door to that is the principality of Belice.
So here's what I think.
Here's what I think.
Aaron Banks will be there.
Forging passports for one and all.
Get your money inside your flat.
Absolutely.
So many small tax havens in Christian's town.
It will be absolutely extraordinary.
Jimmy, you're so much terms, holds up in your spare room.
I'm Rana, since come to visit.
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport?
Would he go back to the airport? Would he go back to the airport? Would he go back to the airport? Would he go back to the airport? Would he go back to the airport? If you've got the English flag on your, you're obviously a patron. Suddenly, little Morocco crops up, Belarus.
I think England flag guys' response is going to be, right?
Double down.
Double down. Yeah.
Paint the front of the house, thing, and flag, whatever.
What's up into his door?
Maybe the neighbour's a lot, right?
We don't want down.
Everyone's got painted.
Why don't you think you would double down
if you weren't from Morocco?
Like, I'm saying, I've got the Morocco flag.
I'm like, oh, someone wants some fucking board game.
What is this shit?
It's like, no, it's not from Number 18.
He wants again, forgetting the input of the Moroccan ambassador,
who's very much on the scene.
He's rebuilding the front face of the house in a traditional Moroccan style.
I've got a dilemma for you.
Okay.
The Moroccan ambassador, he lives at number 32.
He's got Belgium.
Oh, see you in a new.
He's not even threatening international ties.
He's all at sea.
I mean, to be honest, you know,
it's been such a day for him to have a Moroccan.
He might like a bit, you know,
if his day to day, nine to five is forwarding,
you know, the interest of Moroccan.
I'm going to, every day he's going
to a little bit of Morocco.
Yeah. He wants to come back to a little bit of Belgium. Exactly, yeah, Belgium the interests of my career. I'm going to, every day, go into a little bit of Morocco. Yeah.
He wants to come back to a little bit of Belgium. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but this is the reason the country is in this kind of state, because
we're not willing to open up our doors, put out our arms and say, please hang on.
No, we're rocking our flag.
No, we're rocking our flag.
Because you're convinced today it's decided.
You're going to proffer them the bloody Mexican flag.
Get the Mexican flag up there, next go.
What is going on in the back of the flag?
The Mexican flag is fantastic.
It is a good flag.
You're not going to not want the Mexican flag, are you?
I got one of, is that a quick assault? No. It is a good flag. I'm not going to not want the Mexican flag, eh? I got one.
Is that any quicker solve?
No.
Mexico is a good flag.
Go with Mexico.
Go for the Mexico flag.
There are some good flags out there, maybe just pick one you like.
The reason I said Belize is I saw it on TV last night on Only Connect.
It's like two shirtless men.
If you see this, I'll see you there.
I'm going to have some more.
I'm going to have some more laugh.
Are they in the black country?
They are.
They're not in the black country.
You know what?
They really can.
It's one of them flying the brain flag.
What's your one of these?
OK, so our options are this.
Join Crosby's model UN.
Now I hear it out loud from somebody else's voice.
I'm less convinced.
Join Crosby's model UN.
Build yourself my ironic, Banksy flag that says,
another flag.
I'm not sure that's going to go down well with the neighbour.
Or, well, tell you what, you back me, I'll back you.
OK, there we go. Sure, there we go.
We can't teach you the right. Exactly.
Max the bank has to teach you the right.
Clark, he's wrong. Clark, he's right.
Clark, we're the S on.
Oh!
Absolutely right.
Yes, brackets, never you, kid.
LAUGHTER So, do we... Oh! Absolutely right. It says yes, brackets and never you keep.
LAUGHTER
So, do we?
That's the police flag, by the way. Look at these guys.
It's got a lot going on. So there's two shirtless men.
They've both got an axe, one's got an awr.
There's a little, it says sub-Umbra floreo,
which I don't know what that means.
They've got, they've both got some grass, there's a tree,
and they're both wearing slacks with belts.
Well, there you are, listener.
That is the Belize flag described for you.
Absolutely right.
We've promised it at the start of the episode.
Join us next week when we're describing another flag.
Yes.
In a feature that we're already regretting setting up.
But you know what, we regret setting it up,
but we're going to do it every single time.
If you're in the police force,
are you a member of the Belize police?
Oh.
Oh, Belize police. I'm so in love with you.
Never lovely force. Almost works.
So we've got another flag. We've got the Mexican flag.
We've got Crosby's model you and where if one gets a flag.
Right, so if Alan and I are going to post a flag to everyone in the street,
that's two votes there.
I'm not.
I've recruited Evanna.
I was going to say that was very, you get quite, I'm really aggressive.
Not that happy for this to happen.
I've brought Evanna in, so we've got two.
Have you ever got a deal?
Is he getting a good country?
He's getting a phenomenal country.
What's he getting?
At least.
Now is Crossaswalk.
What country will he give me to join your, islamic state of country?
Because Evanna's very good. I'm glad. It was just nice. It was a conscious flag. What can't you really give me to join your is islamic state of country
It's very It's an iconic flag
It's instantly recognizable
It was it on Christian's list of band flags with
Confedian flags in no no swastikers in no no
I don't know why I don't know someone called Christian. Yeah, all right
Some of the question about the caliphate the absolutely it's right there so
Are the caliphate the absolutely it's right there so Yeah, are the caliphate in the body United Nations
I mean that's down to you guys. I went to a very progressive school guys
I just got to touch the ambassador Morocco who is not happy
He's absolutely living he's opting guys. Yeah, he's having second thoughts
I'm gonna go with another flag
purely for reason that it was my idea, okay? What what what does it what is the other go with another flag. Purely for a reason that it was my idea. What does the flag says another flag?
Another flag.
Clarke, you're saying, you know, I'm going to go with another flag too.
Okay, now this is the deciding votes.
And wait a second, doesn't matter.
Wait, no, shut up.
I don't want you to leave leaving me here because if we can get back on board, then we're
going to win this one.
No, I'm anti another flag.
Great, great, great.
Yeah, yeah.
As you were, soldier.
Doesn't the another flag warrant maybe
the whoever is putting up the England flag
coming over to specifically your place,
whereas if everyone's got flags outside that house,
he's not gonna knock on everyone's doors and say,
oh, he's gonna put up another flag.
He's gonna think it's like, come on.
Come on, go.
And don't flag, question mark.
You don't mind if I do
All these flags just boiling us anyone fancy another flag because it's it's any 10th
We can have another flag before before kick out. I'm ready to flag in
I'm all right, why are you chomping Apple straight into the microphone?
It's the ASMR segment of the show
We've already done this before.
So, okay, so we've got...
And it was very unpopular.
We've got another flag from Perry.
We've got Clarky, what you're saying?
I went with another flag, too.
Another flag as well.
What do you think?
I'm deeply romantic in the idea of Christians
road being filled with flags as well.
Yes, yes!
On the other side of the way, guys.
Unfortunately, these two guys do cancel each other out.
Oh, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid, you know, if they put up a flag, it says another flag, beef solved.
Brothers, starting at your beef solved.
Don't forget, if you would like to get in touch with us, the email is beefbrotherspodcast
at gmail.com.
If you've got a problem with your flatmates.
We've all got problems with our flatmates. Yeah, man. You've got to help me with it. With your flatmates we've all got problems with our flatmates yeah man you've got to help me with your parents we've all got problems
with our parents yeah man tell me about it if you've got a problem with your niece or
nephew you guys then email us at beef brothers podcast at gmail.com. Today. Be here from the starting, I can be greetings,
puppies, people.
I like that.
That's nice.
It's very, it's very all-encompassing.
Very inclusive.
Like the pans people.
Like the pans people, yeah.
What?
So, do you remember pans people?
They were, now I get a different generation problem.
So if they think the dancers on top of the pops.
Before there were music videos on top of the pop,
and there was two different groups.
It was Pans People and Legs & Co.
And they were just sort of dancers
who were dance on stage,
on the stage where the band would have performed along to the songs.
They played the song,
the dancers would do a sort of semi-interactive dance,
it would normally have some sort of relation to the lyrics of the song.
It was a different time.
It was a different time.
1998, it was different.
You playing garbage and then there'd be dancing away.
Stupid girl.
Right.
Greetings, Pappy's people, a bit like Pappy's people.
Yeah.
We also accept Pappy's and Co.
Lovely.
I was going to go into Pototsworth and Cumbly,
then I went by them.
Potsworth and Cumbly.
Oh yeah.
What a premise.
I presented the Court of Beeper
as a whole pile of beef cases.
I recently moved back with my parents, so no.
Who is this from by the way?
It's from Andrew in Melbourne,
front name and location.
Front name and location.
Front location.
International listener, hello, Andrew.
Back in Melbs. Back in Melbs.
So, lots of very unhappy memories for us, Melb.
But I think I'm going back.
Come on, guys.
No, look, I went back there recently and I walked through Fed Square where we
done our show in 2008.
In a tent. In a tent. In a Fed Square.
And I almost threw up.
Yeah, I almost grew up.
The people of Australia were very lovely.
The festival couldn't have been more welcoming,
but those show-ins weren't that tough time.
They went badly, guys.
I've recently moved back with my parents.
I've been year-living independently
and therefore have several disputes
with my new housemates, brackets, parents,
that require resolution.
I hope that you are able to assist.
The beef cases are threefold, so strap in.
Well, we'll solve them as we go.
Beef case one, my room.
Since I moved out, my parents have repurposed my old room a storage for furniture,
not just any furniture, but the furniture, my sister has inherited from our grandparents
She hasn't yet taken it because she currently rents and is saving it until she buys her house
She's the favorite child
She is unlikely to buy a house for the next two years
Meanwhile her bedroom is still maintained as it was and she comes back every few weeks to stay with my parents. Wait, wait, wait, wait, my back.
She's the favourite child of the truck.
She comes back every few weeks, whereas he presumably lives there.
Lives this bedroom every six months.
On or under a large pile of furniture,
when she has no claim on, because it's been gifted.
The question is therefore this, where am I supposed to sleep?
Under the antique dining table in what used to be my room?
Now listen Andrew, as a guy who wants to leapt under a Christmas tree,
I can say that is luxury, my friend.
Get yourself a load of VHS cassettes.
Once you get to the building for once.
You're like, oh, you start dreaming about it snowing,
you wake up with needles in your eyes.
In my sister's room, where do I sleep?
Under the antique dining table in what used to be my room, in my sister's room, where do I sleep? Under the antique dining table, in what used to be my room,
in my sister's room when she isn't there in her tiny single bed,
in the drafty room that used to be the lounge,
but has now become extra storage for all the other crap we got
from my grandparents house, but haven't yet got rid of,
I submit this question to the court.
Right. You're absolutely right there when you say it.
So when it's threefold, it's just three options.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case.
There's one more big case. There's one more big case. There's one more big case. There's one more big case. There's one more big case. which this sounds like it is. Yeah, I was gonna say, because it does sound like her room is,
she's got a tiny single bed.
It probably there is not enough room
for the furniture to go into her room.
There's always room for furniture in every room.
And that is Matthew's firm belief.
Beef's off.
No, I think you can definitely
get at least some of the furniture into that small room.
If you've got an antique table, you can flip it up and put it on top of the bed.
And it doesn't, none of that furniture needs to be accessible.
None of it needs to be accessible exactly.
And they just let her deal with it every time she comes over.
Yeah.
Let her deal with that.
Or top to tail in your...
If it's only every few weeks, top to tail with your sister.
Don't want to sleep in the same bed as your sister.
I thought you were going to say the parents. Yeah, just get your sister in the house. Is there an old story in it now, top to tell with your sister. It's all about sleeping the same bed as your sister. I thought you were going to say the parents are just doing it.
Yeah, just doing it.
Is there an answer in it now, then?
How to tell with your sister?
Once every few weeks is totally fine.
No, I'm not for me.
No way.
No way?
No way.
Share a room with your sister every few weeks.
It's a bit much.
Share in a bed with your sister every few weeks.
Can I say, I'm top to tale with Matthew's sister every few weeks.
It's an arrangement that you've come up with.
She puts the brain flag up. Now, I would say that.
So, the brown smoke and fast. So, yeah.
I would say now that, okay, maybe the system might agree,
and then eventually she's going to stop popping round.
The system's going to get a storage unit.
Sisters go get a storage unit.
That's a good one.
You want a huge, exciting and depressing of places.
The storage unit. Yeah, I think that's places. The store of June it.
Yeah, I think that's it.
The sister's got to go to...
I mean, yeah, the sister's got to go and...
She's got to deal with this stuff.
If she wants it, she's got to handle it.
Do you want it? You got to handle it, mate.
I'm going to say, I don't think this beef isn't about furniture at all, is it?
It's clearly about being treated badly by your parents.
Yeah, it's about being kind of unloved child.
So the furniture feels kind of incidental, I think.
The cases continue.
But you've case two, use of the TV.
There is only one TV in the house.
Whoa!
What's living out of home I developed a taste
for the broad range of shows available
from streaming services.
My mom prefers to report as much
repeats of mid-summer murders and similar shows.
Okay.
My dad has no major opinions as he usually falls asleep when the TV is on.
That being said, he does like to watch comedy shows such as QI, which he is allowed to do
by mum, under suffraints and quiz shows.
There is also the additional question of gaming consoles.
I have a few and would like to use them on the TV, but my period of peak gaming also coincides with when
dad likes to watch his quiz shows.
How can we manage these three competing claims?
Please bear in mind that getting a TV for my own room is not a viable option as a present
capital.
I have no room.
Right. Clothes, brackets. If you're not going to shift the furniture out, which have no room. Right, but it's brackets.
If you're not going to shift the furniture out,
which you should be doing anyway, if you're not going to do that,
put a TV and your sister's room, play games in your sister's room.
Oh, oh.
Turn her room into a gaming room.
Put some posters up of Pac-Man and all the other characters.
Like Sonic, Mario, Mario, and Wario.
And Luigi even know Mario.
Like, let's just start with that evil spirit into this room.
Only good characters. Only the goodies.
Only the goodies.
Echo the dolphin.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, the rapper, the rapper.
All the ordinary, crack bandicoot.
Keep your cards.
Keep your cards.
Keep your cards.
I can't think of any more like banjo Kazooie.
Banjo Kazooie can be up there, sure.
And any of the others from Super Trooper Beach,
whatever the Mario Kart one is.
Bowser. So, yes. Yes, whatever the Mario Kart one is. Bowser.
So, yes, I can Bowser's famously evil.
Bowser.
Bowser.
God bless, Bowser.
That was me hearing the names of the Bowser's evil.
So, turn that room into a gaming room.
A shrine to 90's gaming.
A shrine to 90's gaming. In fact, get yourself... He has said that he's into 90 a gaming room. A shrine to 90s gaming. A shrine to 90s gaming. In fact, get yourself...
He has said that he's into 90s gaming room.
Of course he does.
But he must be. He's got several consoles.
He must be, yeah.
Yeah.
I think as well, what you need to do is,
if you're into the streaming services,
watch him on a laptop make.
Get yourself a cheap little Dell,
and watch him on a laptop.
I've got a better idea.
OK.
I love to hear it.
Storage unit. Yeah, you want to... Get yourself down got a better idea. Okay, I'd love to hear it. Storage unit.
Get yourself into the storage unit, lock yourself in,
there's your console, there's your tablet,
there's your wifi, you can be post us up, sure.
There's RU from Street Fighter 2.
Yes.
There's Ken.
Ken, is he from RU?
Are you?
Are you?
RU, RU, Shawly RU. No, because he says are you Ken? Are you Ken? No, he says Hadookan. No, he says Hadookan. Are you Ken?
I can't just say, are you Ken? Are you Ken? Ken is his best mate. Why is he? Yes, he's a young athlete in the pe care of you. Why he asking people, many of them are visibly not Ken?
It's like, are you Ken?
Are you Ken?
What was the game that we just played where we thought the character was called Chad?
We got the fighting monkey.
We didn't think that you thought.
And it turned out it was called Chaos.
Yeah.
It was like a load of big...
Big that it was like a fighting game with loads of different...
It was like King Kong was in it and Godzilla and all the rest of it.
And Chad...
And then he's like, I want to be Chad, I want to be Chad.
And then he's like, what's he keep referring to this guy's Chad?
It was a problematic font.
So, for storage units.
I used to think as well, I've talked about this before,
but talking of not hearing names,
or thinking of hearing names,
you know the song regulates by Warren G.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
Listen to it just yesterday.
Did you really?
Now, you'll know at the start of that song,
it begins with a spoken word, sort of introduction,
where he says like, regulators, this is what we do.
And at one stage, he says, you've got to earn your keep.
And then they all shout, regulators,
like an off-mic, they all shout.
And I genuinely, I had that song on a compilation,
he's listening to all the time.
And I genuinely thought he was saying, we're regulators,
it's earning in Keith.
I didn't go, I didn't go.
We're doing it.
We're doing it.
So it's like, wait, so you've got Warringy, a very cool, so you've got Warren G, a very cool name.
You've got Night Dog, a very cool name.
You're actually a man who's got Ernie and Keith.
That's not a fucking Sesame Street or something.
He's cool.
That's great to be here, guys.
He's a brilliant guy.
He's a brilliant guy.
They said a bit.
They said a bit.
It's good enough for Ernie and Keith and the Rapa Ducky.
It's good enough for me.
So, yeah, so storage units, so what you say is you say to get a storage unit for the first problem,
you get a storage unit for this problem. Can we solve the third?
You're the worst hope for in history.
You can't storage units.
You can't storage units.
In the case three, cooking, I enjoy cooking and I develop the decent culinary repertoire.
Oh, I do say so myself.
Unfortunately, my dad is very an adventurous eater,
preferring a cheese and veggie mime sandwich for lunch
that's like marmite and meat and three veg for dinner.
What's it like, so?
What's the other bit like?
Yeah, what's meat, three veg, like?
I mean, three veg, that's like marmite.
You are loving it, I hate it.
Most of my go-to recipes would go down very badly
and probably come back up again.
Ooh!
What are you cooking?
I could just let my mom do the cooking
as she knows what Dad will tolerate
but this has two problems.
First, me and three veg doesn't do well as leftovers.
Meaning I'll have nothing to take to work for lunch
unlike your turds,
which stay nice and fresh in a tupperware
And second mom tends to get resentful if I don't do my share of the cooking
How do we resolve this conundrum storage unit?
I
Understand but I think what you need to story of you is shut your fucking mouth. No, Andrew, I understand, but I think what you need to do
is you need to start cooking stuff that contains meat, contains veg,
but it's like a one pot, like casserole, because casserole you can cook that
and you can definitely tap where that up.
It still comes under the meat and see veg.
I don't think so. In a storage unit, one pot cooking is kind of the way to go.
You've got your gas stove. Tom, do you currently live in a storage unit, one pot cooking is kind of the way to go. You've got your gas stove.
Tom, do you currently live in a storage unit?
Listen, I'm having a lovely time.
Lamel, do you have any cases?
What do you know, is that anyway?
Lamel, do you have any cases for the moment?
Or do you know what I hear from you guys
that have wanted to just move in?
And there's been to be way more problems
requiring the decision of the learner beef brothers.
Beef out, Andrew Malvin.
I mean, he's got to get out of there, doesn't he?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm sorry, Andrew.
It's tough.
Poor old Andrew.
Well, here's the thing, we don't know about his situation.
I don't think he moved in just because he fancyed it.
Sure, so there's, he's trying to make
the best of a bad situation.
But I think storage unit, definitely for your sister's stuff,
then you turn her room into a gaming room,
then you move a load of, you move a camping gas in there,
and then you make a one pot for your dad, you chuck it down the stairs,
he catches it in his garb and watches QI.
Exactly.
Exactly.
The quick question, the tent that you guys performed in in Melbourne, is that available?
Could be the salt.
Could be the salt-fed square.
Could be the salt-fed square.
Get the salt-fed square.
Don't expect forgiving audience.
No, that is.
Well, and also, you're not going to get much sleep because it is loud and that tends to be really
loud.
Yeah, it's really really sound bleed.
It's, yeah, so you know what though, plenty of room.
Yeah, that was the one thing that I'd take that on.
You could easily fit at least another 200 people in the room.
It's a capacity was 200.
The capacity was 280.
I think our biggest audience was 36.
There you go.
It was a big old room.
What I'm hearing is plenty of space for furniture.
Absolutely, yeah.
And games, consoles, are plenty.
Yeah.
Beef solved.
Beef from the zoning at your beef solved.
Right, so we've told the couple of beefs,
but obviously you're not here just to do that.
You're here to air your own beefs
and get off-friend fancial stand-in to solve those beefs. So... It's a trust and then. Oh, did you not know just to do that. You're here to air your own beefs and get off for an fan sure standing to solve those beefs.
So, you're just standing here.
Oh, did you not know about this?
No.
He's coming in just a bit.
I know you're desperate for the loo as well, aren't you?
That's the pop off in a bit.
Yeah.
Let's hear your beef.
Let's hear the beef first.
You can wait for a second, can't you?
Surely, surely I can hold it in.
Okay.
Talk us through it, guys.
I've got a beef.
Oh.
If I have lots of beef.
This beef's crept up on me.
Beef stew.
Yeah.
You say beef stew, because that's the...
That's right in the one part.
And true, you can make a lovely beef stew.
Yeah.
In a storage unit.
In this storage unit.
Where you live, with your computer.
With your computer.
With your computer.
With your computer.
So, with your computer.
With your computer.
Has it like that making you feel a lot better?
Consolid, it's just...
I'll tell you what, this taker console was really making me this Sega consoles really make me feel a lot more proud of myself.
Well, I'm playing on a console. I play with, are you?
I'm not. I'm not in the stand-wards.
Right, anyway, famously now, if Ann has a beef, I do indeed.
I've watched Netflix for a few times, and I've built up a lot of suggestions from Netflix.
And I've watched a lot of those suggestions
off the back of what I've watched.
What kind of stuff are you getting?
Are you getting the, yeah,
because you like quirky films?
Absolutely, that kind of thing.
Now, recently, my suggestions have been quite skewed
because my wife has been watching a lot of Netflix
without me. And she's been watching a lot of Netflix without me.
And she's been watching, do you not have separate, we don't.
And then obviously if I could turn back time,
if you could look at the fire, the answer is to have separate accounts or, you know,
separate profiles.
But you're a romantic.
Yeah.
And we watch stuff together as well.
That's true because the thing is I have separate profile
I separate profile on Netflix from my wife and
Sometimes we'll watch a whole series and I think I really like that series
So like a like a ding dong I'll go through it and just play it and skip it to the end and play it and skip it to the end
So it's there on my algorithm
But then I've realized they can see if you're skipping it to the end
Oh, so they're like what's this lunatic doing?
He's watching
the credits of ten episodes of Stranger Things and none of the actual episodes. Perhaps you'd
like to watch this show, there's just credits for it. Okay, but you can't do that obviously.
You can't turn back time. My algorithms out of whack and now I don't know what to do.
Well unfortunately we can't solve this problem though We'd love to but Tom. Oh I have
to go to the limps. I'm so sorry. You don't have time to solve it here. Honestly I'm
there we go. All over the shop. Well that's the best gun all over the shop.
I want to go over the shop. Thanks to the shopkeeper again for letting us record. We're not
banned from Morrison. Oh hello, someone's smack in the table with Glee.
Is that Fanshaw Standard?
Futshaw Standard.
Fanshaw, you've brought your Foley artist with you this week.
Can I just say they're amazing.
Jemmoon of Departist.
Hello, Fanshaw.
Pleasure to be here.
That's great to have you here.
This is Foley artist. Foley artist is someone who makes the sound effects for a movie's an
underdiderated. Oh, it comes the drain. Sorry. That's what I say when I'm
leading the toilet. Oh, you need to put this well. Oh, I'm all over the shop.
That's again, apologies. To all of this fine-seed market chain. I'm the brown flag. No!
Listen, here, they...
I've heard...
They're listening to his problems.
He kind of got me thinking.
Oh my god, Bobby.
You're right, it's outside the chains on its way.
I'm going to be brief.
I'm going to be brief.
What are your briefs going to be?
I'm going to tell you What are you briefs gonna be? I can tell you some facts.
The brown flag.
Help.
My train schedule is as regular as clockwork.
That's good.
Hasn't ran late in 15 years.
Every morning.
One minute, on the minute.
Every hour on the hour.
Every Wednesday on the dot. Every hour on the hour. Every Wednesday on the day.
Once a week, I do all of it on the day.
But it's a day's work, isn't it?
It's a whole day's work, yeah.
My daddy used to tell me, honest pay.
Who's paying you for it?
By the bucket.
The local man.
I don't want to ask questions.
Okay, I'll tell you what, I think I feel we've interrupted you too much.
Sure.
So you get out with your idea?
I don't respond well to other people.
No, I see that.
If you will,
got me thinking there about a little story they tell around the town.
Small town, you understand simple folk there
We have in the in the town square there you probably remember the library
Next to the whole
Rest of the time the library
And they'll say where's the library next to the town with the town next to the library
Where's the shoe shop? Close down.
Not enough demand for the shoes.
But the book shop, they say the book shop,
and we haven't got one.
We've got a library.
Famously, you can't buy books in a library.
Now, you can borrow, I'm sure.
Can you?
I've never been.
Oh, you're really sure. It's right on the extra town.
Hell, you probably remember the librarian there.
Sam Teeth.
Blind.
Blind boy.
Blind boy.
That's what his business card's saying, Braille.
Sam Teeth blind, blind boy.
Well, he'd never gave them shells by field.
High order.
High order.
That's the way the books were.
High order.
How do you do penguin classics?
They're the same size.
That's the question.
That's the focus to share.
Who wears the penguin books?
He'd say 30 centimeters.
The shelf on the left.
We'd read books by heart every day of the week.
You read them by heart.
Hell yeah.
And does it done any harm?
Excuse me, how is what?
I said, are you bludgers?
I said, and you blinders?
And how's it done, is it, huh?
Let me tell you about the first time
I went in there looking for the dictionary, 60th century.
So you have been into the library?
This is always falling apart.
No further questions.
Sorry, sorry, we keep interrupting.
All I'm saying to you is this,
never organize them by width.
Why is that? Same teeth.
I said to him one day,
and he looked at me,
Ziff to say.
A miracle.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
He, he, he lives. He, he lives, he lives, he lives. he lives, he lives, he lives, he lives, he lives, he lives
to say I can see.
I think he's with the blind dentist.
Let us just say he cocked his head in my direction.
And he said, you're right, fan.
Sure, you're right.
To this day, I think he had a point.
Well, I hope that's helped.
Oh my gosh.
I'm gonna go now.
Good luck with that there, Elvarytham.
I hope you're very much. the rhythm Thank you very much. I'll for you sometimes not above the hype or the width
Tom you're not gonna leave it you
I tell you what that was really cool. I was a really upsetting story. I look forward to listening back
Yeah, it really was well Well, anyway, that hopefully that solved the...
Absolutely, thank you so much.
That solved the so much.
Thank you so much for coming on the show.
Now, tell us, now this is January.
We're not recording it in January,
but it's January when you're listening to it.
Yes.
What, you're off on tour?
Yes, we're off on tour.
We're going to show, called Max and Evan, commitment,
all about the overly elaborate stag weekend,
which I organized for Evann's wedding.
And yeah, we're talking around the UK, please do come along and see us.
It's a fantastic show.
Tom Perry features in it very briefly.
He does indeed.
There's a cameo from T.P. He was on the weekend.
Maxdemand.com slash talk.
But I'm not going on tour with you just to confirm.
I don't pop out on staging.
Oh, hi.
Sorry.
We didn't tell you.
You have to come on tour with us.
Oh, I'm going to join us't tell you. You you have to come on to all this. Oh, yeah, join us.
Do you have a miracle? Yes. Paris back on the road.
We're going to the road warrior. So again, it's maxingman.com forward slash
tour, forward slash tour. Also, your podcast is still available?
Yes, absolutely. We've got a podcast called fugitives available on all
podcast platforms. Please do give it a down there.
Full on banging. And that is, is that produced by Ben Walker?
Produced by Ben Walker.
You know, it is.
Yes, it is.
Full of this parish, Ben Walker.
All right, B. All right, B.
I mean, he's dead by the way.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry to find out.
Sorry to hear that, but you know, he was a good man.
He was a great musician.
He was a very, very good man.
Yeah.
Thanks so much for coming on the show.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks, guys.
B for all the starting at your B.
He's soft.
Well, there you go.
What a treat. What a true there you go. What a treat!
What a true treat that was.
What a lovely app.
It was a lovely app, wasn't it?
It's very important to remember
it was produced by Emma Corsham.
Two Corsham too?
Yes, Emma Corsham, very, very lovely.
It was produced very well.
Very, very strong and pretty detailed.
The production was sparkling on it.
It was right there.
I was in the band too two very lovely guests as well.
Yes, go and see them on tours, listen to their podcast,
it's Ace.
And if you enjoy this podcast and you would like to hear more,
then join our Patreon.
What?
Yes.
Every Thursday we put out a bonus episode.
We do?
It might be a bonus beef.
It might be a bonus house meeting.
It might be some extra chat from the live
flat share slam downs, it's always something fun and it'll be plopping into your RSS
feed if you join our Patreon $5 and above. That's all it is.
Do that, right? Get your proper episodes on Tuesday and then your bonus
up on Thursday. Do it guys, it makes perfect sense. Patreon.com,
forward slash, Pappy's Flat Share. Also, find us on Twitter at Pappy's Tweet.
Still there.
Find us on Facebook, we're still using Facebook.
What's in you two Facebook?
Oh, you know what?
We're getting so much engagement on Facebook.
The other day, I put up a picture
and I think 37 people looked at it.
Oh my God.
So not too bad at all.
Living through your iTunes, Fy stars is always the...
You know what I'm doing.
I should do it, shouldn't I?
Insta? We're on Instagram as well. Yeah, Instagram. of your iTunes, fly stars is always the... You know what I'm gonna do. I should do it, shouldn't I? It's the?
We're on Instagram as well.
Yeah, Instagram.
In fact, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get Evann
to send me a picture of that house
with the painting on it.
So if you'd like to see the George Flagg painted on
a house near a van, what better reason
to join us near a van?
How have I walked from?
Could be near a white van, who knows?
I mean, a van is white.
It's at a happy comedy on Instagram as well.
There's no reason you shouldn't be following us
on all platforms to see the exact same thing
in the first five times.
Please.
Most of all, we're very, very grateful to you.
Have a wonderful week.
We will see you on Thursday,
if you're a Patreon subscriber or on Tuesday if you're not
Cheers everyone
Ladies gentlemen and friends
Will you please be upstanding and don't bring your friends
The invite says No, plus ones at the patreon labeled watch roll call clear on the invite, but anyway, it was plus no, plus one, so the Patreon-nabled watch roll call.
Clear on the invite, but anyway, they're here now.
So we please be upstanding for the Patreon-nabled watch roll call.
Oh!
Here we go.
Ha! Oh, God! I feel out of practice. Here we go.
Oh god, I feel out of practice.
Just relax.
Yes, that's right.
Deep breaths.
Oh, just take your time.
In your nearer, you're on a beach.
The tide's like a tide.
The tide is lapping, yeah.
You hear birds calling over heads.
I can hear them.
Ah, birds, very low grumbling birds.
The birds are ho-
The birds are ho-
The hummingbirds take your time.
And he uses it to the first call.
I'm here, relaxing, yes.
Yes. Sandying, yes.
Sandy beat. Oh, I can hear the crabs. Help me.
I've lying on top of a crab. I'm lying on a crab's back.
And the crab is transported me around the beach.
Sideways. Introducing me to a turtle.
Hello. Showing me to a turtle.
Oh, no. Showing me a sea lion evening, Gaffna.
And generally,
putting me through my paces,
when it comes to spending time
with a quatic and marine-based life.
Today really has been the absolute best. And I've spent it with Peter West.
Oh, oh, so relaxed.
Oh, the sea is nice and warm. Oh, that swordfish is really mugging me off.
Fuck you, breath. Okay. Okay.
Fuck off breath. That pike over there, sing me a song. Oh, hello, you lovely man. Do you think I've got time?
I can't give you shit.
Alright, swordfish.
I get to end this lobster here is really having a time.
Oh, I'm at a time.
And personally, I'm stood at the end of a forest.
Personally, you are.
Personally, I'm not. Personally, you are. Personally, I've come up with something.
Anything more than that.
I don't know about your situation, but I am stood at the end of a forest.
This feels very personal to me.
And up there, on the top of the hill,
I can see a little wooden lodge with its lights on.
Oh.. Oh.
What's that tapeworm?
Hello.
Yes. What's that?
You, the last time someone else was here,
the lights with the lodge on.
The lights with the lodge on.
The lights with the lodge on.
The lights with the lodge on. You remember the last. The lodge with the lodge son. The lodge with the lodge son. The lodge son. Do you remember the last person to be here?
Yes, I do.
Was Benjamin Hodson.
The lodge with the lodge son.
Benjamin Hodson.
Well.
Oh, happy.
On the island.
Listen to that snake.
On the snake, on the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake, on the snake.
On the snake.
On the snake.
On the snake.
On the snake.
On the snake.
On the snake.
On the snake. On the snake. On the snake. On the snake. On the snake. and I'll bet you're right.
She says, we fucking lost it on this one.
We have been unt two names. I'm going to hate myself for a tropical food.
Some tropical food. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, shh, sh, sh, sh, shh, shh, shh, shh, sh, shh, sh, sh, shh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh What's that? Gentle chaffing? Oh, it's pingu.
Pingu, come and relax on the beach with me. Lay down on this beach towel. Slather thy body in some delightful sun cream.
In fact, it's got to be factor 40, it's very, very hot outside. And remember, if you go in the sea, do reapply. Even if it's water resistant, do reapply.
Okay.
Make sure you get your beak, get your little flippers,
cover your entire body, slather it, slather it,
and now see this bit of plastic I've put on the beach.
Who do I?
Off you go, baby! Oh, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f more time to hang out with the old mucker, more batauriom.
Oh, I'm on the beach.
Oh, he's on the beach.
I've got to dance a plastic.
He's put down some plastic.
It's a plastic beach.
Oh, shh.
Welcome to the world of the plastic beach.
Oh, shh.
He's full album.
Get out of here.
Strong album.
The room.
I didn't invite you on this holiday.
I ran out of suncream.
So I've smothered my body in light.
And I've started to burn all night with my friend Duncan Bard.
Bard. Baaat! Baaat!
That concludes the worst.
I think we can officially say, let's not, let's break character for a second.
Right, apologies to Peter West, apologies to Benjamin Hodgson, apologies to Neil Irving, and more Baturim you're on your own mate. Duncan Baird or Bars, either way, the worst.
We fucking Jeff did.
Patron, mate.
We fucking was a sh-
Roll call.