Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Ruth Husko S13E24

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Ruth HuskoRuth Husko on twitter - https://twitter.com/dank_ackroydRuth's Linktree - https://linktr.ee/Ruth_Husko Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Greetings, listen to Dear I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. See brothers, cold cuts, how do you like your beef? Serve cold and cut. It's pretty nice. A beautiful new jingle for the show, I loved it.

Really good, and this is a fun one today. Have the brilliant Ruth Huskow, Ruth Huskisson, aka Dank Acroid on the show. If you don't already follow her on at least one of your social media platforms, then you really, really should. She's just brilliant. She's absolutely fantastic. Very fun. Before we get to chatting to Ruth, if you'd like to send a beef in, beefbrothers podcast at gmail.com, of course, the the hotline number, get your pen and paper ready is 02081233272. And please ask the bill payer for permission before you call the hotline. Absolutely right. And there's a world exclusive in today's episode. We have

the first of a hotline beef. So the hotline does work. Yeah. it's worthwhile. Yeah, you know, I'm really happy with the way it's gone. It's great. In fact, actually, maybe in the outro, we've got a little bit more of a treat from the hotline. Well, I'm not saying anything, just wait and see. Yeah, also as well, if you're going to be in the latitude festival this weekend, we are also going to be there. We're going to be doing our show on Saturday night at the listing post and our guests are going to be the brilliant Ray Badron and the wonderful

Laura Smith. Two fantastic guests. We've never had them on the podcast before. We're really excited about seeing them and festival recordings for the podcast. They can go one or two ways and we've had some great times at latitude because Pappy's fans have flocks to come and see us. So if you're gonna be there saturday night at the listing post, that's where we're gonna be. I think it's 8 p.m. But we will stick it on the socials and everything. But we're gonna go one or two ways,

absolutely brilliant, all that time we did at Greenman. Okay. That's exactly what I was thinking of. Exactly what I was thinking of. It's a long way to go to die in your ask for 90 minutes, isn't it? Oh, it's in the old. That attitude is fun. Yeah, that attitude is always fun.

We'd love to see that. And you come up and say hello. If you're a listener, do come up and say hello. If you see us bowling around the site, that would be lovely to see you. Bowling's it. Is the absolute word. Bowling around the site, that'd be lovely to see you. Bowling's the absolute word. Bowling around the site. Quite a good old bowl, I'll add you. Great, very exciting.

We're delighted to be back. And we're absolutely delighted to have our wonderful guest, Ruth Huskisson. So please welcome her by standing up, judging your glasses. And listening to this episode of Pat Makes a Flatshirt. Be brother to the child. Good girl, how do you like your beef? Colin Kurt Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem

If you've got a problem, call it a beef If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you Be from the sorting I can be Oh, by the way, what do you want to be called on this? Is Ruth all right? I mean, yeah, Tom then Ruth, is Ruth OK? Yeah, Ruth's perfect, that's Ruth all right. I mean, yeah, Tom, Tom then Ruth, is Ruth okay? Yeah, Ruth's perfect, that's my name. She name, isn't it?

That's good, really. Yeah, that's good. It's she name. Can I call you my gorgeous healthy boys? Of course you can, absolutely. Of course, great. The only reason is because obviously I think of you as Husko, I think, you know, that's because I was introduced to you as Husko.

Or as Dan Cacroyd. But, um, Do it too. Any of those are fine, but you can go roof or Husko. I think this Dan Cacroyd is confusing, but it's such a good name. I don't want to get rid of it. Do people ever call you dank? Do people ever go, are you dank?

On Twitter, they do. Or they'll say, they've gone up to people and say, oh you know Dan Kakroy, don't you? Yeah, so I wish it was my name because it's so cool. Do you feel like this is a situation where you might go to the D pole and do it for realsies? I think I'd keep my surname because surname's really good. Huskiesons are great surname. Yeah. Maybe I'll just become dank Huskieson. Ruth, Bruce, are you all right as well though, isn't it? Bruce, Bruce Fine I'd say.

Bruce Fine, but let me tell you. Not a compliment, early dollars from Perry. You know, he doesn't have the sense to all our guests. Your name is fine. It is, I'm all, you know, coming from someone else with a fine name. Like, no one's going, oh what you're called a Ruth, oh beautiful, like everyone's going, oh fine, you got to be.

Well, this is the thing that I told you. I told you it was much better actually, yeah you did. Maybe it's maybe explain less. No, I agree, I agree with you Tom. But what I say about my Ruth is, right, I didn't really think much about it until, I agree, I agree with you Tom. But what I say about the name Ruth is, right? I didn't really think much about it until I saw a episode of Fraser where he's getting a bodyguard and she turns out to be a female and her name's like Shelley or something. He was like, I didn't expect a Shelley.

I expected like, I don't know, a Chris or a Ruth. Like it was a really butch name. Wow, okay. Yeah. What about that? Crazy are you absolutely hanged? I'm not quite as phraser in this. I said Ruth was phraser. I mean what phraser said you can't say that anymore can you? You can't make these and the world's poorer for it. You can quote him but you can't be said to have that as an original thought. That's not it.

In these days, he'd be locked up when he'd be in woke prison for that. In waxing in there. In waxing in there. He'd be cancelled. Who are the other famous roots? I mean, Ruth Maddock. Ruth Maddock is the first one that pops into my head from Heidi Hyde, of course. Sadly missed. Ruth, Ruth Scheissmith, the inside number nine?

You have to see, eh? Yeah, Ruth Scheissmith, yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm just typing Ruth into Google hit to see which names are popping up. It's always the start of a good night, if you do. Always a good start, if you type in the word Ruth into Google. Normally when, when I've got the house to myself, I'm only talking to Ruth into Google. Ruth made off, Bernie made off his wife, of course we all remember. I just got to exercise. Listen, there's plenty of good roots. I don't think it's necessary a butch name. We'll call you Ruth. I think we've got off to a great, a fly and start there. We'll call you Ruth. And Ruth, now that you're here, I've got to ask you Ruth.

Don't keep saying it, no. Why not? Listen, I don't, the thing about Ruth is, it's a, you know what I'm saying, that's my name, don't wear it out. It can't be worn out. That's how hardy the name Ruth is. And Kelsey Graham will back me up on that. Absolutely, sturdy beefy. Sturdy beefy. Like Chris with a K. So listen, I know because you told me this before you started the recording, you don't currently live with anybody, but you must have been in flat shares in the past. What kind of a person are you to live with?

I would say I am a very reliable flatmate. So I'm not very exciting. You won't find me. I don't really like doing that thing. I'm like hanging it and kitchen cooking together, like making small talk or like having having not a big like night party. I don't really do stuff like that, but we'll never run out of fabric conditioner, we'll always have kitchen towel in, I am reliable with those sorts of things. Also I'm a real morning person which can be rating

for some people. I really I like to get up early, I like to run around, there's a lot of messing around, a lot of jumping around, singing, dancing, I never get up in a bad mood. Wow, really? Yeah, well I mean we've spent a few months, you've met me a few times over the few months, I think you can find the energy that I bring to an event, translates well to the morning, even though every time we've met it's been night and I've been shit-faced. Quite a nice time person as well, from my experience. I'm an old dayer and some kids the nights of the morning.

Yeah, I'm very cute. In terms of your morning soundtrack, in terms of singing around the place and dancing, have you got any kind of go-to, in terms of your morning soundtracks, what songs recur in the mornings for you? Oh, it can be anything really. I usually put six music on, but there might just be like a Tom Jones, Six, Bam, Six, Bam, I've got something, I've got something to do that day, like I don't know, I saw a stainless spa the other day and there was some guys playing golf on the green and I sang, playing golf, playing golf, guys playing golf. You know what I mean? You just, you find the event and you just work it into the,

into the melody. That song suitable for any, any event I've got. Rest in peace, rest in peace, NAN, rest in peace. It's like, it's just a dutch to any situation. That's a different kind of morning person, not a word. Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm misunderstood.

Er, yeah. So yeah, sorry. I'm misunderstood. So yeah, that I just make a song get of anything really, yeah? Or like... She put the mornings stocking up the kitchen and yet doesn't want to do communal chat. It's like a deal. Is it...? I was going to say, like, I am very respectful of other people's space as well. I'm very considerate of other people not wanting to bother them and stuff.

No, reduce your volume on sex bomb as you get close to you. My head is about this at all. Are you wearing headphones? I can't understand that you're running into room, singing at someone, and that is respectful to their space. I know. And also, you're like, you're like, whoa, whoa, don't talk to me. I'm singing at you. This is a one way street. I didn't run into their rooms, but if they're up and I'm up and they, but they might have

just, they might get it about it 10. I've been up since three and I'm just, you know, running around and. I'm going to come home in I'm just running around and... Because that's the other thing, I don't sleep very well. So sometimes I'll, I can't wait to get up, I can't wait to get up and see what's going on. So I'll be respectful in the morning. That's why, what do you think I look like on my bloody own? Do you know what I mean?

You're saying... So I couldn't run around to my heart's content. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, content, but but but but but Germany I'm respectful and I'm very reliable and I'm a lot of fun and goodness me if I haven't just described the perfect flatmate which is me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I've got to watch you. You're looking at someone, yeah. Yeah.

You need to rent out that spare room. Definitely not. I love living on my own. Some people don't like it, but I couldn't imagine anything was I can't imagine living with someone now, lived on my own so long. So, I mean, you all live with people, don't you? You're all looking at me.

No, no, it's interesting to meet someone from the other side of the fence, you know? It's nice to see that that is somebody's, somebody's actually, I mean, there must be plenty of people out there who love, who love living on their own. I mean, Freddie Mercury famously hated it. She wrote a song about, I'm actually hated it. Wasn't that song about a guy living with a monkey?

Oh, he's still talking about sex bomb. What? Did he live with a monkey in there? I've got no time for no monkey business. Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah. He's got no time for monkey business. So you that's right. Yeah, he's got nothing for monkey business. So you think he's living with a monkey and then he's struggling. The monkey's sort of playing up tending facts all the all the way through the night, that kind of stuff. And while mostly throwing shit against the wall as well. That's real monkey business. Yeah. But what is it?

What is it you love so much about living on your own then? Um, you don't have to... If you want to be on your own, you can, but if you're living with someone and you just kind of want a bit of your own space, you've always got someone there and you're always mindful of when they're going to come back and, you know, if they go to work, when they come back. And I just like to have more room for activities, lots of space to run around and, you know, the appeal is tremendous. I mean, when you put something down and you know,

it's gonna be there when you come back. Right. That's it. End of. Case closed. And that's your decision to leave something there. You're like, that's fine. Where it is. No one's gonna ask you why you left it there.

No, yeah. Exactly. That's because I want it there actually. Yeah. It's a reasonable day. I know. It's a reasonable day. It's a reasonable day. It's a reasonable day. I know, it's a reasonable day. Yeah. I know, it's a reasonable day.

Yeah. It's a reasonable day. If it's been moved, it's because the monkey moved it. That's the reason. No time for this monkey business. I'm sold. I think you're living the dream. I think so.

I love it. I think it's great. Are you ever tempted to go full big? Like, if I lived on my own, I'd go full, I'd have pinball machine and, you know, lots of trample on space. Yeah. You'd be really chauve. It's basically what's happening. I'd have a good job, I'd have a good... That's sort of a huge New York apartment.

If you'd listen, if you end up living on your own, you would be the first scene of big when he arrives in New York and he's in that hotel where people are getting murdered next door and he's crying. Except if you won't even be New York, you'll be exitter. LAUGHTER Plymouth.

LAUGHTER From the starting, I can beat you! Free Range Beef, a fair beef from Ethan. via beefbrotherspodcast.g at gmail.com getting touch use email I will find it Dear puppy peeps and esteemed guest Ruth the single most unsuttle affair has started in my office The morals of this I couldn't care less about they're both adults Although one has been a card

carrying adult for about a decade longer than the other. I certainly know the main part. Why like about this is there's no judgment in that message or no judgment. No, I'm just going to say this, just going to put this one little tip in. Bit of color, bit of decoration for you, no judgment judgement but plenty of, let your detail. But a decade of, er, ration? And I certainly know that male party involved has been in a loveless and doomed relationship for several years now, held together, however misguidedly, for the sake of their kid. Well, I'm glad we've got off to a flyer on this comedy podcast. Fuck it out. It's got heavy pretty soon, hasn't it?

What I and the rest of my colleagues are sickened by, however, is watching the terrible amateur dramatic performances every single day as they either pretend not to have come in together. Oh man. The cat handed away, they try and hand over front door keys without erasing suspicion. We're also not supposed to question why she has suddenly started bringing lunch in for him every day including several meals ahead of time if he's going to be working from home. But what is most

unsettling for many of us? Can we put a pause in this for one second? Just very, very quickly. Please. Now, I've just, just to remember, as I'm so perfectly in the palette, just some right spot. I've never had an affair.

I've never had an affair. So, I'm just like, the kind of thing someone having an affair. It's like, what he does. It really does, but in this, you par with that key off the top, by the way. I'm going to be like, I'm going to think someone having an affair. It's a date when he does. It's really just grounded. But in this scene, you par with that key off the top of the way. Par with that par with your aunt who I've made for you. It's part of having an affair, preparing Pat lunches for each other.

I've never heard of this. I've never heard of this detail before. I've never wanted an affair more in my life. That's very happy up until now. Now you say that though. What's in the pack lunches? Is it a dildo? Is it dildo? So sweet. Is it so sweet snacks? We're all thinking it. That's a very long lunch box. What's in that baguette? A bit of dillardone of thermos, absolutely. I'm just thinking sex, that's the first thing I just think, oh, they're the shagging aren't they? So is it just full of condoms? And you know, yeah,

the top of where full of Johnny's. Yeah. Flasked, full of lube, especially when he's working from home, that's thrown me because surely the biggest way to erase suspicion is if you go back to your wife and family with three days worth of lunches that someone made up for you. And one of those are massive dillars. One of them of those eight inch double ender in a BAP. Why is your lunch like that? You're like, Oh, I'm getting some kind of,

I'm on some kind of new diet or something. You don't wanna come downstairs and find your 10 year olds chewing on a deal don't think it's a yo-yo. You know, I think it's one of those mango yo-yo I see you want actually. It's the last thing you want. They're going to be, what?

Bit chewing the last one you bought me, you know, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, g I like it worse, probably, but why is he having most unsettling for many of us? He's catching them pretending they haven't snuck off for a snog. The number of times people have been to the stock room and find them pretending to search random shells, despite having no reason to ever go in there. Oh, here's my dildo! It was up your ass! I only read that dildo I try to kill? Where is that massive dildo? How do we collectively signal? We know, you're shit at hiding

things, just get on with it. Without confronting them, as I'm sure, he would be absolutely mortified. Yours feeling like a youth club worker on Disbonite acting as fingering police. There's no need for that Ethan. Ethan, you've got yourself out. It's only for any of this Ethan. Ruth, you've got a proper job that you occasionally go into an office for, right? Is that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you having an affair with a man 10 years older than you? This kind of cockroaches too? Well, I'd have a bloody job on because there's only about three people in the office left now. The middle-aged people were redundant, sorry to ring it down, but that's not a problem. Oh my god, bizarrely that brought it up. Sorry. Yeah, bizarrely that that bought it up.

Sorry. So, so I mean, I'm guessing at most offices, they've probably got, you know, we have cameras in our office to see people going in and out. And I'm sure you can see them making a go in and out in the, in the, that room or whatever they're doing. So, like, you know, someone, I'll be, I'm guessing like their managers haven't raised it or said anything or like, I don't know. Yeah. It sounds like they haven't. Doesn't sound like it's affecting their work apart from the game for stock room to pretend to look for things. If anything, it's probably raising their morale slightly.

They're probably coming to work early. Yeah. They're probably working longer hours. Because you know, the thing is if you do end up having, you know, having an affair at work affair at work and doing a longer shift you have to do a little bit of extra work to cover for that staying late aren't you so it's probably they're probably getting putting in a few extra hours and not even sort of charging for it. Yes so I guess then I need you wouldn't want to bring it up because they want to have free time. This is it I think actually if you want to get a productive workplace

you've got to set them all off against each other. You've got to get them all you know, shaggy you want to be be sprinkling that, that sort of magic fairy dust like a mid-summer night stream. Overall, if you're your workers and then they all sort of fall in love and, uh, isn't that the Christmas office party? Yeah, this is what they do it, isn't it? This is why they have awards ceremonies and Christmas office parties. It's not because they want to reward the workers because they wanted to, you know, to do each other up against a photocopier. So, everyone meals ahead of time if he's going to be working from home. That's the thing.

It's a real sticking point that is, it's so bizarre. Yeah, why are they making meals? Because if he's working from home, the food's there, that's why I don't think that it's food. I think, unless it's the lady magnet for the man, so she's trying to show what a good and attentive wife she is, so he leaves his wife. Sorry to be traditional about it guys, but maybe that's what she's doing. I'm just exploring all areas. Don't keep the mischief. I think there might be something in that. Do you think she's sort of saying that this is, you know, it's like, I am the steak.

You've got burger at home. That's going to work. I was going to say, is it all burgers? Like is she literally giving in burgers? Tell me you'll go out for burgers. Yeah, I don't know. Not the sexist, food. Might be erotic cakes.

You know, the erotic cakes shaped into a paratix. It might be something like that. Oh, you know the erotic cakes. You know the erotic cakes. You know the erotic cakes. We've all seen them. Do you think of fondant fancies? No, I'm sure there's a joke in the soup.

Some's about the erotic cake, shall, anyway. There is something a bit erotic about fondant fancies. Yeah. They're the sexiest cake, I think. Oh, come on. What about players? I was thinking of players, though. The French fan...

French fancies over a Claire's, I think. I don't know. I'd fucking declare. You'll talk about the little square ones with a little nubbin on the top. Is that the one you're talking about, Tom? I know what you mean. I do not know.

I mean, you just use the word nubbin. I use the word nubbin, yeah. If I put a couple of French fancies in front, you just use the word nubbin. I use the word dubbin, yeah. If I put a couple of French fans in front of you and started rubbing each nubbin, you're telling me you're not gonna be thinking, I'm in the mood for K. I wouldn't eat any of it, I'm not saying that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's too damn hot. They're kind of frilly and they are literally equivalent of like a French maid, don't fit, aren't they?

That's what they are, they're frilly and fancy and... They're sourcing a retro way, which gets you right where it's pure, isn't it, Tom? I said you that postcard incompetent. You can't tell you postcard incompetent. You can't say no postcard incompetent, but it's just like in an envelope. But Boney Postman knows what you're up to now. I said you're the postcard. I know what you're up to now. Thank you most attracted to. The Battenberg because it's colour. Hello now we're talking very much very 2023. Very colour colorful, very soft, quite a funny looking cake.

So you can ask someone, what's the funny sky? That's the one that's the most attractive. I'm both pretty close, it's got a lot of personality, hasn't it, Mum? It kind of looks a little bit like a, like if you cut a clown in half. That's what I like. That's the sexiest one for me.

I was with you until clock, you just accurately described it as cutting a clown and half, you know, if I'm quite sad again. As someone who informed me this clown's family, I get the feeling that if you chopped a clown in half, just like two clowns would be running around. It'd be a bit like sorcerers apprentice out of Fantasia, do you know what I mean? I don't feel like if you slice the clown in half, I reckon they'd look down, look a bit weird

and then two legs would pop out of the torso, a torso would pop out of the legs. Yeah, yeah. And do try that at home guys. Yeah, exactly. If you've got a clown in your family, do give it a go. Anyway, I'd stick my dick in a fondant fancy. So I close you it. Of course you were Tom. And you know what, it was fit. LAUGHTER Clark and I was sticking the acclés and that's all right with you. But you said you had nothing to another. You go for it. You sure you don't want a nice gem?

LAUGHTER I don't know what Ethan's beef is because all of this to me feels like entertainment. I feel like there's good gossip. They say they're sickened by the dramatic performances and that they're unsettled by the pretending that they haven't snuck off for a snog. For me, I think that's all things to play with, isn't it? It's like you've got entertainment going on in your office. There's not much else to be going on with. So it feels like surely you'd welcome that and be able to play with it a little bit by asking them questions to make them lie further. That's, yeah, that's what I was going to say. I'd say if you're unpleased with the Performances you've got to ratchet up the pressure on them

Because you could start acting suspicious Then see yeah back them into a corner see if they get better at it. Absolutely. You know, you're you're ignoring the whole thing You're turning a blind eye Switch the eyes on if they're being amdram because we ask you know acting is reacting if they're being amdram, because we, as we know, acting is reacting. If they're being amdram, you're gonna come in there with... What? Tom, I've never seen such a real performance you in my time. What did you just say?

It's you. I've never heard anything in all my ears. You've never heard anything in all my ears! You never heard anything in all your ears! I really like that! I've never heard anything in all my ears! It's a hell of a phrase! So what we're saying, Ethan, we're saying adopt the role of a confused old man, like Pary just did to you then, and you know, well, well, what's going on in this store covered? That's kind of what you want to be doing.

Yeah. If they're going to amdram, you've got to give them proper full on victim luxury apparently. The Britain's Britain's greatest actor. Yeah, that sounds good. That makes it a lot of fun for you, a lot of fun and a lot of fun for the person doing it and a lot of fun to see their reactions as well. Absolutely. And I think you've hit the nail on the head there Ruth, because hearing this,

it makes me slightly jealous I don't have a proper job, because I love the idea of being a bit on the slide then. Listen, every day I go round the back of a participatory valoury, a fondant fancy out there, and I'm, you know, out my frustrations on the hat, and I go home very happy. No, no, it makes me jealous I don't have a proper job because you're getting, like this is the thing that people, they watch Love Island for this kind of caper, you're getting this, you're getting a live show of this

every single day that you get to, you know, like you've gotta take a bit of enjoyment, you've gotta find the fun in it, you've gotta take a bit of enjoyment in it. You know, people are being saucy just through a partition wall. You've gotta enjoy that, lean into it. That's a terrible thing.

That's a terrible thing. That's a terrible thing. Lean into the partition wall. You can't forget to do it with too close. In the end, it's that petition wall. I kept against it with a glass. Yeah, with a glass. I was going to say, yeah, it makes work exciting. It gives you all something to talk about.

I've worked at many places where there's people going into someone's office on whispering. I love going past, I remember a couple of people at my work, the guy was like sitting at a desk and the girl was like, no, no, no, no, just whispering to him. And I remember thinking, ah, yeah, I'm sure they're having an affair. And then every time I'd see a girl in his office, I'd think, oh, you know, it just gives you a bit of, it gives you a little bit of, yeah, absolutely. Did you ever find out what I was really up to? I think they were having an affair because we were on a work night and he was saying, he had a girlfriend and he was like, I've been in, she had a fiance and he was like,

I've been in, I had him saying to another guy, I've got good, you don't know what it's like to be in love with someone your whole life or like your whole working life here just sitting across from you. And I was like, I mean, you're talking about me, that's for God damn sure. I think that's what I'm like.

And then I got up. You appear with the rose between your teeth? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I thought, this is absolutely fantastic. I love it so much. And it's good when you can judge someone else. That's great. You can just judge him and this is brilliant and it's fun and it's a laugh. And you're with impunity, you're doing the fit wrong.

They're doing wrong stuff right in front of you. Actually, it's good. If you're called in at the end of year review and it's like, look, you're missing your targets, your sales a day and you can be like, well, I'm not shagging in the store. Maybe I'd hit my targets. If it wasn't, cheers everywhere. Yeah. And then it's like, you got that.

You've got that in your back pocket, right? Oh, my hands are slowing off the deck. Very the slide and off was sticking to, depending on how long the pens have been there. Oh boy, yeah, this is, this is right. I think you are, you know what? Obviously, sometimes we give a piece of advice, we get a piece of advice, that is so good, it almost renders our entire podcast redundant. But just have fun with it, Ruth.

This is it, isn't it? Just have a bit of fun with it. They say they don't know what they've got. You don't know what you've got. People go to Amsterdam and pay You know, people go to Amsterdam and pay board strangers to do this sort of stuff in front of them. You're getting it for free. You're getting paid? You're getting paid to be there? What do they do? Why don't they have your pay? They're hopping on an office chair, spinning around the place.

Oh boy. Enjoy. Once they know you know it's going to be boring as shit. Exactly. And if they get told off for doing it, you're going to regret it. If anything, yeah, if anything, you've got to start working for them. You've got to help, you've got to become part of the lie. You've got to say, oh, those meals that you keep giving me, oh, thank you for those. And it's like, I'm gonna just stick them to him, and it's like near bother, and it's like, I know what he's saying.

But it's like, you've got to enroll yourself in this. Yeah. You do multiple characters. It's like near bother. Near bother. I've just inflated an air bed in the stock room for no reason at all. Anyway, you've got to come.

I'm really tired, I'm just gonna go in, sit in my office chair for half an hour exactly. Next time someone nearly rumbles them, you step up and cover for them and be like, oh, the house key, thank you for getting that going, and then get it with him, and it's like, little nod in a wink, and then suddenly, that's my deal going to be eventually.

Oh, that's my deal going to be eventually. Suddenly you're booking Airbnb's for him at the weekend and stuff like that, you're a fixer, you're a mover and a shaker, you're like, should never be more exciting. You love it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Next thing you know, they're a fixer, you're a mover and a shaker, you're like, should never be more exciting. You love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing, you know, they're letting you watch.

You really got it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting paid, and then you're just actually having it in the stock, yeah, you're sat in the corner on a pile of boxes, you've got a couple of fancies on the go. Oh, this is a dream, isn't it? Look, you've got a lot of fun in your life. You've got to dig the wrap, you've got a fondant fan in your guys. You've got a couple of fondant fancies on your chest.

You're fucking housing a ring binder. Nubbins all over the shop. Nubbins as far as I can see. Nothing but no beans you've got to get involved. Man, that's the advice. Yeah, this is not a beef. This is not a beef. What's the opposite of a beef?

This is chicken. You know, this is a chicken. This is a chicken. And it's ripe for plucking. Beef solved. Be here from the starting, I can be here. It's solved. Do you want to see what the world is really like?

Yes Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining A woman planting her course to freedom at a lot for It's non-stop bonkers brilliance I love that Poor things

It's like theaters for December 15 Ruth, do you want to see yours now? I will tell you now it's from things. In so like theaters for December 15th. Ruth, do you want to hear yours now? I will tell you now it's from a similarly named, but a, a, a identically named person, but not the same person. Right. Right. Okay. Dear Pappy's and guest, that's me. I have a beef that you might be able to solve. My no wife and I are recently married, and we couldn't be happier. Apart from her forbidding me to ever call her my wife in the borat voice. Whether she's in here or not, please help me make her see sense. Cheers everyone, bye Ethan. Now, I didn't attempt to do the voice.

Can you guys each do best my wife or? Yeah, okay. I'll give it a go. No way. That's very good. Oh, it is good. Yeah. My wife.

Very good. That's a good off of Clarky. My wife. He's back on the Scottish Royce. He's back on the Scottish Royce. Yeah, but I'm a wife. Yeah, but it would be worth. So, there we have it. Go on Ruth, get going.

We've laid ourselves on the line for you now. You've got to give us, you've got to give us your my wife. Okay, my wife, now I'll do it. Very good, mate. It's like it was in the room, Malweth, that's what I do. You get it, not Malweth. It is fun to do. You're got to have him do it.

This is the thing it's fun to do, and it's fun for the listener again. Not really getting, she says, he's not allowed to call it her, whether she can hear him or not. That's how offensive it is to her. But he's, I think, crucial to to this is the part of the tension of doing things like, this is my way, isn't it? If your wife green lights that and encourages that, then all the beauty of doing it is lost. The joy of doing that is it's going to piss her off, and that's the tension of that. If you're married someone

and you go, this is my wife and they go, you're so funny and you've probably married the wrong person. You probably married all your sister. But like you've probably married the wrong person because what you want is the most one who's going to hit you and go, don't be a dickhead with that. Because then that's the tension of that kind of shit. You know, it's a bad joke and you want to be able to, you know, piss someone off with bad jokes. Yeah, I'm still laughing about it. Still funny to me. But yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I would say, either. I think you've got to step up. You've got to do it more. Step up to the streets. Start doing Ali G as well. The thing that Ali G's a you Julie. Yeah. Me, Julie.

I like you, Julie. You're too silly. Now you bother with you, Julie. LAUGHTER The only thing about it, you're like, for a second, because I'm with you, Tom, but just to play a bit of devil's advocate, you know, one of the things that sometimes happens in a marriage is, you know, a couple

gets married and you discover something about that person that you didn't know prior to the marriage. And this is one of those things that was impossible for her to discover before they got married, because he had no reason to say the phrase, my wife. He didn't have a wife. So she's getting something here that she didn't marry into, right? It, that said, even as I'm saying that, I think it can't be the only twat you think he does, right? Right?

Yeah, if you're my wife, there's, that's got to come with a laundry list. Absolutely. I mean, how often is he asking her to get in his belly, you know? No bother bother. No bother for you to get over beddy by the way As somebody who likes to obviously sing around the house do you ever do are there any other catch? Do you have any catchphrases? You're a catchphrase fan Do I do I like sort of

Lovely jubbly and things like that from yeah, I don't believe it do that quite a lot and things like that from, yeah, I don't believe it. Do that quite a lot. I used to do impressions of Leonard Rosseter around the house, which one of my exes would just hide. So he used to do it constantly. I'm putting your hand very high on your hip. Yeah. I was just getting really good.

Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, he did it. He used to go into the age now, he's engaged. I was putting Jerry sex. Can you stop? Do you learn a roster, junior sex, please? If anything, that would get me right once, be up. But that was rising.

I've done it. I've done it. It was rising. I saved my French police officer from below alone for sex. That's so, you know, but the not French please, that is that. The French fancies, that would be right. That's a good movie. That's what you know, it's good sex and here good moaning.

Honestly, these puppies, you are like magic, you are the way that you just take it. Yeah, you just go, it just works. It's works, sorry It works, I say. Oh, thanks very much. I have a few. You were in. Yeah. He does.

Well, accept that. Can you be on every time? I'm in. Normally, by this point, I guess, to start checking their phone. I know. That's all. Well, I can't because I'm recording us, but no, no, I'm looking at me second. Yeah it's magic. Yeah good moaning that's brilliant. Oh yeah. I'm dying. I'm in awe. I've done a lot of hype man.

Yeah just taking a step out of the podcast just to say guys what you're doing is great. How many patrons do you have? How many you know how many subscribers you should have more? You should be on tele. I keep saying this You should be on Telly. I keep saying this, you should be on Telly, et cetera, et cetera. Thanks, Mark. Well, we were on Telly and Telly decided we should be on podcasting. LAUGHTER

Telly was very different back when Battles was on. It was a different time. They wouldn't, you know, you know, you'll often get older comedies going, they wouldn't make that nowadays. you know, you know, like, you'll often get older comedies going, they wouldn't make that nowadays. And that's true of bad notes, because they, they didn't wanna make it back then. You wouldn't make that, then a days.

You wouldn't make that for a third series. But yeah, I love that. I think that's, I think, you know, what Ethan, what your wife, your wife, needs to get is a few of her own catchphrases and throw them in. Like, for example, my wife, my wife, loves to do, like, she loves to call me Rodders, you know,

from only Fools and Horses. She's never seen that with so many Fools and Horses. You don't even know. I know. So, like, if I'm parking the car, she'll be like, easy Rodders, steady Roddo's like almost more to put me off than to help me. But it always makes me laugh, I think it's brilliant, especially because I know that she's

never seen what episode, you didn't know who any of the characters, when I said who are the other characters in it, she doesn't know who the other characters in it, she never watched it. But she likes going for Roddo's as well. I think this is what your wife needs. I think your wife needs to get a bit of garlic bread in her life. Also, you just know, I'd say at least you should have a literal honeymean period. You should be allowed six months of it. Yeah. Also, when it becomes the forbidden fruit, then you want it even more. You try to make the last beef. You cover this in the last beef. If she put up with it for a week, you get bored of saying it.

No doubt. Do you ever get bored of saying it? I don't know. Malwa. It's definitely not. I mean, it's really, I mean, she's in the film. It's very funny. It is good to say. Yeah. It's a funny character. It is a funny character. Can I hear it by the way? I know you said you do a victim

military. Can I hear your, I don't believe it. Yeah, I don't believe it. I just say it like that. I love doing that. I say, oh, do you want to hear my Robert De Niro when they go, yeah, and I went, are you talking to me? Did you say something? You know, just catch a mo, I don't like to be too rude, why don't I like to be too obvious? No, you don't want to go to Bobby Davro on it, do you?

You want to? I didn't really know. Oh my goodness, that was an absolute classic. On your wedding day, do you Ruth Huskinton take blah blah to be your lawful wedding husband? Oh, that's all really no! Perfect, that's all the classics. Yeah, exactly. And now, pronouncing man and wife. Believe it. I tell you what needs to happen here, you're talking about when it becomes the forbidden fruit.

Okay, what happens is Sasha Burrinko, he needs to get cancelled badly, so no one ever wants to use his catchphrases again in the way that, what is he already cancelled? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is that the answer to the beef? Go ahead and cancel such a bad time, find a way. I'm saying it's one approach for you to stop saying it, you know, it's obviously you can't, I'm just saying it's one approach, you need to get cancelled in the way that, you know, we don't listen to certain songs that I might have been singing before. We don't listen to that. I'm actually semi-reward.

Yeah, I won't. Are you about to come back? No, I'm not. No, I'm not. But yeah, so maybe we need to or he or she needs to orchestrate some sort of cancellation of Sasha Baron coming. Yeah, but she hasn't written it. She's not written in.

That's it. She's probably not even listening to her. I could I can guarantee she's not listening to this. If she finds someone to. Yes, that's true. If she she finds someone doing a my wife impersonation and not particularly funny. She's gonna hate this Just just cut all that. Oh, it's low Yeah, I mean it's a tricky one to I mean I think the problem is it's tricky one to solve because Ethan were on your side man Yeah, I think, it's a tricky one to, I mean, I think the problem is, it's tricky one to solve because Ethan, we're on your side, man. Yeah. I think you just, I think you just go for it.

And you know what, there is a sort of, you know, there's a certain amount of like, you do it long enough, it stops being funny and it starts being funny again, you're like, so just play the long game. Yeah, I will say this, my wife's phone number is in. Sorry, sorry, who's, who's going to come on, mate? Sorry, come on. I will say this, my wife's phone number is in my phone as wife. How are you spending that with a bunch of eyes? No, it's just wife, WIFI, but you can't be at all.

Because the novelty of having a wife and being able to say that to my wife calling is genuinely a thrill. But after six months, because now it's habit for me to see it and see wife, but it's not great that you go like, it's not, I think somebody, if someone else clocks someone and they saw it and they were like, oh, that's, that's your wife's number is it. and it's like, I don't know. We were having sex at the time, but like, you know. But like, the son of a being like, oh yeah, she's in as wife, that's the wife and it feels now, it feels less.

Whereas at the time it felt endearing and funny and excitable because it's like, oh my god, I've got a wife and it's amazing to call her wife. And now I feel slightly, I don't feel back foot about it, but I definitely have had a couple of people be like that about it. Maybe change it to ball and chain. That would you feel, Tom, about adding, I've got two solutions to that.

You can maintain it as wife. You can add two things. You can either add, and I don't think you'll go for this, but I'm gonna suggest it anyway, a why at the end. Oh, she calling? Yeah. Not all, all. The little love heart smiley face emojis on either side. So then people see wife, but they see wife. You know, they see it as like a, like a Gucci thing. What do you think about that?

Are you happy with that? Or are you just gonna keep it as wife? I mean, I'm not, I don't know if the emoji thing, I don't think she'd be happy about that. Right. And I think rightly so. I feel like I really hit onto something that's, this has become deeper than I realised.

I'm not going to pursue it any further because it's not that kind of podcast. But if you want to have a chat about it, man Like emojis. I mean, yeah, definitely I could go on for what it's such a short handway to communicate what's wrong? No, you wife you won't accept an emoji No, not a fan. This is unbelievable You know, it's funny with the mode you, Zo, because I think I hated, like my gut reaction

when the first came around was to hate them. Well, it was angry face, wasn't it? Yeah! Yeah! Ha! As I say, it just works, guys, each of you. Yeah. Yeah, that is fun.

So witty, so clever. Gorgeous handsome handsome healthy boys. Not good as that. And then I started using them ironically and now I'd really struggled just to stop using them because I think they're great actually. You've got that high-roglyphics. Yeah. And we're better for it. I think they're brilliant.

Just the amount of times I send the just the melting face or the salute. Oh mate, I don't have it. You haven't got the melting face. My iPhone stopped updating. Tell your face. I live in it instead. My iPhone stopped updating when that update came around. And so forever just have a little box with a question mark and I'm in love with it. This sounds like two people need to get themselves to the genius bar.

You've got to get new iPhones. You're a certain people a game of snake, don't you? Yeah. If the snake's killed up with smile, then you're happy. Right, come on, let's get out of this beef for God's sake. I love God. I feel like we've done it. Ethan, you're in the right. Just keep at it and we will see if it's cooked. Beef from the starting, I can be served. I'm so sorry guys are you excited about a. First and last, I can only imagine.

Yeah, I've got, so Ruth, we set up a hotline. I know, I listened to the David Earl podcast, yes. And I've been absolutely, I've been, I've been roundly criticised for this hotline. But you know what, I think this is, I think this is going to work, right? I'm going to share, I'm going gonna share sound with you now, right? Here we go.

So guys, this is the first ever, possibly the last ever, but the first ever. Right here we go. This is the first ever hotline beef, and this is a bottle of beef from Adam. Hello, Papi's lads and guests. I'm calling to lay my beef at your wise and wisdom feet. My wife opens containers and then rather than screwing the lid back onto the container

in a secure fashion, she deem to be facing the lid on top. So, any unsuspecting person would think that the container is shut tight. Jars, bottles, you name it, you've done it all. This has the obvious outcome that the content that Katie needs to be spent on me, the flaws or furnishings, children, etc. The worst is probably got to be a baby bottle, with they old milk in it during the summer. Help me beef brothers please. Cheers everyone, buy Adam. Help me beef brothers please cheers everyone by Adam

Yes, no, I will not talk to her about this like an adult. Yeah, fair enough There we go. Yeah, yeah, I just I owe you a massive apology Matthew because that was fucking cool That was great. Wasn't that cool right? You know what I can I tell you now, I've got to talk to you before we solve Adam's beef, I've got to talk to you about the calls we've been getting. Oh no. We had somebody call up and I'm generally worried. Someone call up at two in the morning saying,

I'm getting this weird pins and needles in my arm. No. And I don't want to go to the doctor about it, so I thought it would call you instead. Oh, right. And their stroke be solved. And then three minutes later, called up, and left the same message again,

but as if they haven't left it the first time. No. Oh my god. So if you are that person, we cannot help you. This is not the pins and needles thing. Oh, I'm going to have to. You take it to me going off for months. Go to a doctor, let a doctor sort that out help you. This is not the pins and needles thing. Oh, what is it? You take it, we get off the months. Go to a doctor, let a doctor sort that out for you.

That is not what this is for. That is, that's it. This is the risk you take when you call something a hotline, I think. This is the problem. Yeah. But listen, that was the number again. Is it 999? It is, that's the problem. I should never have.

899. It's not a whole amount of money. It's a good thing to agree with. We really are the seventh emergency service. Yeah, it's 0208, 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 7, 2. That's the number for the, you can call them. And you know what? Well, it does not mean catchy.

You just have to look, we'll come up with a jingle for it. I'm sure at some point, all I'm saying is, right? That Adam was perfect there because it was, it was short, it was to the point. He said his name in it. It wasn't about an age he's got. Oh look, he's got. Listen dear, if you don't watch the videos

when these go out, because you can get them in video form. But he's been hard this kind of. I'm just talking in the video form. Oh. Does this not go away with video full? No. It's a podcast, Tom. Why have I put my shirt on?

Why are we all in Tuxedo's? Come on. Oh my God. But, yes, anyway, for people people who can't see the video, that no one else can see. Go on Tom. Cross we had a look of, there was a fulfillment, the look in your eyes. As it was coming together, the people listening to it, playing out, there was a bit of a response to this man.

I imagine it was the look that Michael Angelo gave when he glanced up to his ceiling. You know what I mean? It's like this. This is my signature. Why does it look like you're stealing at home? Yeah, I wish that was as good as the one I've just worked on for fucking years. But I can't be asked painting it now as a busman's holiday, isn't it? I'm not going to paint my own, fuck me. If you went to Michael Angelo's flat you'd be like oh I bet he's seeing so amazing you go oh just brilliant white just like everybody else has got

yeah it's not even that brilliant white yeah and that I just think fair play I just think fair play. I think you have little hotline. Yeah, you have little hotline. Thank you. Thank you, Ruth. Thank you. So, I know it's been a little bit of distance from hearing it and solving it, but can we remember what it was?

No. Something about Michelangelo, I think? That's the problem. Yes, Adam has a problem that he's gone. He's gone. Yeah. And the reason this especially resonates is because this is something that my wife and I've talked about.

She's got the same thing. She's a big fan of the place on top. I don't understand. How is it easier to do that and not give it a headwass? Yeah, that's tough. That's a tough stuff. You live on your own obviously. Are you a scruer on or are you a lever on top?

Oh, probably a bit of both, but having been someone who's, I'm very clumsy. So having been someone who's been stung in the past by a lever on top, I probably will always screw now. I've learned from my mistakes. Yeah. Spilling things. Yeah.

Here's the thing as well. I feel like, why is Adam? Maybe because his partner just knows her system. She knows the system. She goes, well, I've left that on top. I'm not gonna pick it up and shake it. I'm just gonna pick it up, check the lid lid put my finger over top of it and shake it She's probably just been so long so long a lever on top

That she doesn't even understand the brain of a screwer on she just doesn't think about it And so that's the reason why she's never getting coated in ribina, you know That's the reason she's never getting alone of old, um, baby milk all over her That's the reason to get screwed on in the end, right? To leave her on, leave her on, live their life, leaving on, right? I think, if, you know, like the milk, for example, there is an argument to say,

why does it ever need to be screwed on? You're taking it off, you're pouring it, you're putting the lid back on, you're putting it in the fridge, you're taking it off, you're pouring it, you know, why do you ever need to screw it back on? You're not transported anywhere, standing up in the milk. Fresh. Oh, I'm sure it does. I'm sure. I mean, I'm, you're speaking to it. You're speaking to a scur on top.

You're leaning on an open door here, man, but in the, in the mind of, we'd have closed that door. You know, psychopaths would come along and leave it open. In the mind of a restaurant top, you know, these aren't considerations. Have you eaten a restaurant top? By the way, it's really delicious. It's in the shower. It's in the shower. It just works. I honestly can't get my head around this.

I don't think I've ever been around the restaurant on top of it. I can only hear a little face with the brains flying at the top of it. I've to fo you, hasn't it? It really has, Tom. Really? Yes, I don't think I'll get hearts in my eyes ever again. The first man to ever podcast entirely by emojis. I tell you what guys, if you can see the video right now, you'd love it. You've got to get the video of this. You've got to make the video of this. You've got to sign up to the Patreon tier that offers you the video that does exist.

Right guys? That's... Well, the... Yeah, I mean, there is a Patreon tier where you get the video of something else. That's something else, but yeah. Predator 2. It's a weird tier, but basically, if you start with a successful tier, six pounds of worth will send you a copy of praise to on VHS. Oh. Ruth, what is your suggestion?

How are we gonna solve this beef from Adam here? What we're gonna do? I'm guessing that she leaves it loose. As a previous, as a reformed lever on top of her, I think she's doing it because she's going, I'm just gonna come back to that. I know I'm gonna need to do, get the finger again. I know just going to come back to that. I know I'm going to need to you get the finger again. I'm now I'm going to come back to it so she's not really thinking of her husband or partner husband. So what how can he solve this? He needs to let her learn from the mistake. He needs

to let her spill it all over herself or spill it on the floor, like in the ways that I've learned. So he needs to, when she's used, like, maybe fill it to the brim and put it back on top, do you know what I mean? If he's going around screwing things on top and sealing things, that's not helpful. Do you know what I mean? Failed to see. You're saying embrace the chaos, let it descend. Leave everything on top.

I'm saying, give her a bit of a taste of the old leaving on top. That's what I'm saying. Give her a bit of taste of her own, of her own sour milk and let her, you know, and yeah, he might have to leave in chaos for a bit, but, fuck, goodness, no. It'll pay dividends in the end. What is there a situation though? It's a beautiful, it sounds like you should be on this morning or something. I was just, I was running out of things to say.

I thought I'd got to write this up. You've got some of you here going, in a second, we've got to go to the weather. So yeah, yeah. And in five, four, three, perfect. Yeah. Yeah. But the problem would be a great weather man

with his use for mode, isn't it? It really is going to be turd all over the North. But happy. Happy, smiling turd all over X-Muth. Do you think when a mojis came in, where the men were like, yeah, we've been doing this for years? That's how it's kind of how weather people have been communicating for decades. That's kind of the appeal. I guess so, yeah. I mean, the emoji didn't invent

the picture. I mean, I don't think there's any red disgust. But yeah, I mean, if I know weathermen like I know weathermen, they get in the way that the slightest thing. Honestly, they absolutely do. The slightest provocation, you know, I bet if you lived next door to a weatherman, and you said, oh, a nice day to day to them, they'd be like, sorry, what? do you want my fucking job or something? You wouldn't be able to talk to him about it, wouldn't you?

You wouldn't be able to say to a leather man. John Fish kicks you right in the dick. It's John Fish. John Fish, Michael Fish. Oh, Michael Fish, sorry, yeah. I was hit, John Fish. John Fish is the neighbor on the other side. He ain't unlike you either.

You got to wear them on this side and on that side, there's a guy called John Fisch and he kicks you in the dick every single morning. Your life's awful actually. Who was the serial killer? It's called Fish. Albert was Albert Fish. Anyway, that's an age, yeah.

I think I had a confluence of Albert Fish and John Wick. And I had a, I think I had a, a confluence of Albert Fish and John Wick and I was like I'm going on a killing spree because I'd use the emojis What's the one called John Keckley? Was it John Keckley? John Keckley was the weather, yeah. John Keckley is a winner. There we go. The tribe of Tafs, what a great, I had that on a seven inch single. Oh, that's great, yeah. there we go. The tribe of Tafs. What a great I'd that on a seven inch single. Oh, great. Yeah, really loved it. And so is John Fish. But are the problem Ruth to get back to your beautifully put forward point is that if he leaves

on top, right? And she chucks milk everywhere because she thinks, well, he doesn't really leave on top. I can bit his milk up and you know, hang it all over the place. That's his fault It's not her fault. She's not learning the lesson. She is she's she's saying to him. Why did you leave it on top? You can't then go you always leave it on top because you can then go well I did in this instance. I didn't you did and we're not talking about me. We're talking about you. You did it wrong so I wonder if they're it I wonder if that is, you know, are you not creating twice the problem? Do you think for one of a better word, he's a hard screwer? Do you know what I mean?

You know there's some people, they screw things on just too much. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a different kind of issue. And you think that maybe she's so exhausted by the time she's taking the lid off anything, she's like, I'm just gonna rest that there for the time being, because I'm not going through that again. Yeah. I'm not Jeff Capes.

I can't be, you know, I'm not the world's strongest man. I can't be, every time I want to just go and make myself a bit of cereal, try to unscrew the lid off the milk. I can't be having that. Yeah, maybe Adam, get back in touch. Are you a hard sprue? You know the hotline number. You just got the hotline number. Yeah, you know, I don't mind if it's a different problem from Adam each week. 0208123272, Adam, get back into the Adam line now, get back into that

Adam. Pary, what are your thoughts? I'm struggling with this one. I think you can get those jars that have the metal on them. Everything goes in one. And then you can. Yeah, there you go. The whole house, everything goes straight into those jars. And then you can see in those jars, whether it's up or down, and you're not going to get this picking it up and it flying off. So

you decant, you's more work. I know. Do you know, I know? Yeah, that's it. It's one of those. So, I don't want it. I don't want it. Yeah.

But I mean, it's an answer. It's a worthwhile answer. Yeah. But Jeepers, creepers have become to these kilners. What about don't touch any liquids? Don't touch any liquids. Just only drink tap water, and only get it out the tap in a cup, the amount you want to use.

And just leave all of the liquids to your partner. Everything else can be dealt with by them. Just go look, I'm going on a liquid strike. I'm not going to die because I'm obviously still consuming water, but I'm not using anything else. That's it. I'm not opening anything else in the house. I'm only going to drink water from the tap

and eat food I've grown in the garden. I've been working on it and I'm going to live in the garden in a bivouwak that I've made from. I'm going gonna live in the garden in a bivouac that I've made for myself. I'm gonna live like a carnival dry first before you go. I think Crossbees got it here. I thought you'd go for late man, and live in the garden. My house is filled with the wax first. Adam was the first man he lived in the garden.

Adam lived in the garden. The first Adam lived in the garden. This Adam has in a garden the first Adam and lived in a garden This Adam has got to do the same thing take a boy you close Adam and go and live in the back garden and eat only But let me tell you now Adam do not eat from the tree of knowledge Do not eat from that tree. Yeah, you've listen to our podcast It's why we're not available on a lap. Oh That's why we're not available on a lapel. Oh, beef solves. Beef from the sorting I can be solved.

Ruth, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It's been a total pleasure having you on. It was a dream come true. Has it been everything you hoped it would be? Yes, it's been wonderful. Thank you so much for having there. Where can people find you? Yeah, where's where?

Where'd you live? Hehehehe. Hehehehe. They can find me on Twitter, dank underscore, accroid is my handle, but my name on those Ruth Hussko, bit confusing, but that's just the way it is. Can't change it now, okay? I'm sorry, we do it confusing titles.

Yes, and on Instagram, Ruth Hussko Hussko and has got threads, the new threads that have been here. Oh, a great thread. I'm the most famous person on threads, baby. So you want to get on it before I give up on it and just you know think I've crossed it's another thing I've got to keep updating. So yeah and I'm sure I'll be on the telly soon enough as well. Sure, of course you will. Of course you will. Stick with us and you won't be, but I'm sure if you make other friends, I guess. I just want to say I love puppies so much and if you get the opportunity to see them live, you should because it'll be the best evening you've had of your lifelive ever since you saw Borough

Let's go you legend. Yeah cheers Ruth. It's been a pleasure having you on page There you go Boy, what I love really good total lovely episode. Yeah, and although I do feel like we didn't solve many beefs I feel like we agreed with a lot of them and then closed them. You know what? There was a lot of like, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, you're right there. Beef close. Something to be said, if a cut wheel just get along, you know?

Once in a while. Once in a while. But the hotline, crossbow, fair play, works treat. Happy to do it. Really happy to do it. I was ready to absolutely riff it to Shreds. Of course, and quite right too. But I mean, as you did with all those disc cards,

we had printed with our final number on. We didn't get them up in any phone boxes. So another message from the hotline, hopefully you're able to hear this and enjoy it. Here we go. Hello, Papis. I have got a beef and my beef is with you because I think you're missing a trick with this hotline. I know jingles are a bit controversial on the podcast now, I know Jingles are a bit controversial on the podcast now, but I still remember the theme of the theme to the answer me this phone line even after a long, long time. So to put have another by

can't sing all too well I want to 3, 3, 2, 5, and 2 I'm sure someone else can do a better job with the actual jingle, but you get the gift. Cheers everyone, bye!

I love that. What a nice thing to get. Somebody playing a little sound of music inspired jingle. So yeah, the number is 02081233272. If you would like to record us a jingle, reminding people of that number, well absolutely play it at the end of the episode. We'd love to hear some jingles from you guys. We'd love that. 02081233272. I don't know who that person is because they didn't even name, but whoever you are, thank you so much.

I adored getting that message. And you know what, you only have to get an any message, thank you. You message on the hotline. Any message on the hotline, I adore getting it. You only go and strengthen the power of the hotline. Any message on the hotline, I adore getting it. You only go and strengthen the power of the hotline. Thank you so much. Yeah, so, Otoi, 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 7, 2, get in touch. Don't forget the Patreon Patreon.com, forward slash, Pappies, flat share where you can hear an extra bonus B for recorded with roof that is not in this episode. And yeah, I think that's everything else Twitter all that kind of stuff we're there

Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham Corsham Cheers everyone bye Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining a woman planting her course to freedom It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15.