Pappy's Flatshare - Bonus Ep?
Episode Date: November 2, 2021Some in real life live shows to come along to!15th November https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1969958488876th December https://www.pleasance.co.uk/event/pappys-flatshare-christmas-podcast-double-bill-0#o...verviewPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman plotting her course to freedom at in that moment.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's like theaters for December 15th.
BANG!
Greetings, Lister dear. I'm Tom.
I'm Ben.
I'm Matthew and welcome to... I guess it's a sort of little, I mean I was gonna call it a bonus ep,
but if you're not getting the thing you normally get, does that count as a bonus?
No.
What's the opposite of a bonus?
A Jeep?
Well, welcome to a Jeep ep.
The Jeep of an episode.
What, yeah, do do do do do do do do a flat share slam down.
Anyway, here we are.
You pulled them Tom.
I think make it better.
I don't think anyone noticed, yeah.
So, so basically as you know, we've been doing old classic episodes of flat share slam down.
We've been putting those out and
great to revisit some of those. We've been really, really enjoying listening to those.
We're back live next month. So if you haven't already got your tickets for November the 15th,
we can now reveal exclusively, we've booked our guests for it.
It's gonna be made.
Yeah.
Yes.
I'm gonna reveal more to Tom and Ben than to anybody else.
That we've got Maisie Adam and Tussant Douglas.
Two words.
Yeah, I know.
Two great acts.
And I can tell you now, that show is very, very nearly sold out.
I checked the event bright page and it's very nearly sold out.
So go to event bright.co.uk and search for a Pappy's Flatshare
slam down or there'll be links on our Twitter or there'll be a link in the
show notes to this show.
15th of November at the Phoenix, half past seven,
amazing Tucson.
Good shot, Joe.
Safe to say, two of the fastest rising stars
in British comedy today.
I know who are going to be joined by
Amazing Tucson.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, Well, let's not, let's not count our chickens.
I am, we should say what?
So the suggestion for this bonus app,
I thought, here's a great suggestion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why don't we put out our first ever episode?
Yes.
And give our thoughts about it.
And that would be a really interesting kind of,
we'd be able to look at the journey of flat slam,
things that began how far we've come.
And we each had a curse, we listened to it,
and realized it is so bad.
It's not that purpose.
It's out there.
You can listen to it, it's out there if you want to, but it is.
We couldn't bring ourselves to put it back onto the feed, it's already there.
It's already there like you're kind of an old skid mark that you can't wash out your
pants.
No one wants to watch us re-skid, you know.
I think that's saying a lot about you, Tom.
Get some vanished spray on, man, Tom. There you go.
Get some vanished spray on, man.
I'm just getting you underwear.
That's a real memory of my childhood.
Is my dad have loads of skin on my face?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Is it? Is it? Is it?
Is it? Is it?
Proof if proof we needed, don't look back, guys.
Dave Perry certainly didn't.
I think it's because he's a footballer I always
assume yeah that's it yeah yeah he's sliding on the ground that's our
Gary Linnaker shitting himself on the pitch that was your dad every match wasn't
it that was especially a literal skid mark because I think I used to think
as a kid but I'll bring that up next time I see you. Anyway, you know what?
Do you know what? I think we should just play that first episode.
Well, I'll tell you what, I listen to it and I thought, my God, it's put, I genuinely
thought, God, I'm not good at this, I shouldn't, I shouldn't go back into the fold.
I do, I jeopardised the 15th of November.
I had to stop listening.
I thought I can't listen.
So yeah, so we planned this,
you know, we planned this last,
we were chatting about this last night, Sunday night,
because it's been a very busy week.
We're a little bit up against it.
We were like, which classic episode are we gonna put out?
Tom suggested the first episode.
We were like, yeah, amazing.
And then today, Monday, when we're recording this,
the day before we put it out, we all had a little listen.
And what was the point, do you think,
in your listening experience,
when you thought this could?
Well, let's just,
let's just read out the exact exchange.
Crosby said, as anyone had a listen,
and I said, it is a brazing listen.
Crosby said, yes, it's interesting.
Ben said, interesting indeed.
And Crosby said, what do you all think?
They're in a dancing around it, aren't they?
One of us going...
No, one wanted...
This is dog shit.
No one wanted to be the one to pull the plug.
But can I tell you which I guess is how we're still going after all these years?
Can I say what it did make me realise is that we have, over the course of the last decade,
got much, much better at this.
Genuinely, we have.
I feel like it's, you know, it's such an underconfident debut.
And the reason we're not putting it out today is because it will be mad to put that out
to the end of it go.
And by the way, please, by taking it to see this.
Well, we're in! We're almost sold out that show and now the magic gets us sold.
What it feels like is, you know, like, origin story is a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Batman and it's like yeah you need to show us more than that though. That guy became Tom's dad.
LAUGHTER
But yeah it's um...
I mean you know if you fancy to go back and have a listen but you won't want to.
So we had two incredible guests.
That's why I thought it was going to be, I thought this would be Greg,
he had Andy's ultimate and Richard Herring, who remained podcast royalty.
Yes, absolutely.
I was gonna say they were podcast royalty back at the day
but they remained podcast royalty
and they were part of the reason we had them on first episode
was like, here we go, they're our friends
and they happen to be huge in the podcast he was.
Yeah, and weirdly, right way to start podcast.
They never taught us after that.
They didn't.
They didn't ring or anything.
Richard really bails me out early doors, because I am flapping.
And Harry comes in and really just goes like,
I'm just going to have to start stepping in and saving
this guy before I've even been introduced to it because it's a locker.
But anyway, listen, we're not putting it out, we're sparing you guys.
Because, you know, we've got new shows coming up, we've got the November 15th,
we've got a 6th of December as well, we've got our Christmas show.
And that's always a tremendous amount of fun, we're doing that at the Pleasants.
Again, the link will be in the show notes,
but we can't in, I mean, there's,
you know what, I'll say one thing about it.
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Some of the rounds aren't bad. Wait, hang on, one of the rounds is
Listen was we throw ham over the top of the audience didn't make it that far didn't make it that far
an audio podcast and
You have to listen to Ben trying to throw a piece of ham to Richard Herring who stood at the back of the room
behind the audience. I'm not a stupid.
It's utterly baffling.
One of the rangers who can say putt in the shitdest way.
I mean that shit...
Shitputt remains our best ever game.
Shitputt was horrific.
I tell you what was...
I remember the game was a really funny idea at the time.
I tell you what's funny though the things that stuck first episode
Jamboree the Jamboree was there the Jamboree was there
Absolute silence
Tradition is remained it's nice to know that Tristan's made
Fanshaw's fanshaw has his firstiting, but not in any way announced or explained.
So we get to beef brothers and you go Tom, it's your turn,
and I just start talking like Fanshawe,
and then you go, okay.
Yeah.
Oh, that's the other thing as well.
That's the only thing I noticed.
Not a generous host. Oh, by any chance. By any well. That's the only thing I noticed. Not a generous host.
Oh, by any, by any.
We're all so nervous.
We're all so nervous that we know we can get,
you know how like, it's the classic thing
when you're an open spot, you will often
rag on your own material in order to,
you know, you'll do well, that didn't work,
and all that kind of thing,
that's a new material, all of that kind of stuff.
You know, to get yourself out of a hole,
we do it to each other all
the way through.
With there's no support whatsoever, we don't, we don't yes and each other, we're trying,
it's just, there's another bit as well where you get, where, where Tom, you go, in almost
disbelief, you go, I think this show is just puns, and I think the fact that we now just
accept that, you know, you've let that into your heart.
It's like you said, it's a bad thing.
And now, I think it shows just puns.
We do, so I do fan sure voice.
And you go, okay, thank you Tom.
And then you go, Ben, you're turn.
And then Ben starts to do fan sure voice.
And then, and then it's like,
there was very neatly, two fan sure voice.
You know what?
I have a vague recollection of that.
And again, one of the reasons I stopped this thing,
because I was like, can't please.
I can't get to that bit.
Please let that not be the case.
Well, I retract what I initially said
about there being no yes and it turns out there was,
except the sentence ended yes, and I'm having that as well.
Anyway, I tell you what the episode is. It's a testament to the professionality of Andy
Zoltzmann and Richard Herring to play on and try and find some hope in the desert. So which is why now we're going to play an old episode of
Ruralistaper and then it will be followed by an episode of
The Now Show. Now we don't know about the legality of putting
these two things out on our feet, but they're good, strong
stuff.
The two pros operating at the peak of their game.
Yeah. In fact, actually, I imagine there is probably a Richard Herring chats to Andy Zoltzman,
real estipa, so we'll put that one out. That's what's going on.
You can just see a couple of masters there.
Yeah, oh my god.
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for...
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's a like theatre's December 15th.
Are you, it's a funny old thing, isn't it?
The sort of the being nostalgic.
Because it's better to just think about it
rather than it is to revisit.
You know?
Absolutely.
It's better to sort of go,
oh, that was great fun.
Because also as well, here's the thing.
We're not dying.
The audience are being very lovely and very generous.
And you know, that's just what passed for comedy back in 2012.
Yes, we are, back then we could say anything, but it was so terrible.
Now you can't let me say anything, but we had an absolute car blot, we couldn't be cancelled. And yeah, we should say though, we should say though,
back in the beginning.
Our comedy was watered down by the EU back in the day,
wasn't it?
We were bound by the laws of Brussels,
and it did have an effect on our right foot.
Whereas now we're unleashed.
Into the wall.
Into the wall. Into the wall. Out of Tom of top stands pants, and into the waterways.
I tell you what I saw the other day, speaking of nostalgia.
This is not me being nostalgic for the other day.
This is a story.
Directly.
I'm just speaking of nostalgia.
What happened? It was this morning. It was a simpler time. If it's
why don't you be very upset. So I was in a playground actually. I was in a
playground a few days ago with my daughter, daughter, pushing on the swing. And there was a, and there was a kid, there was a kid who
it didn't appear to be like, he was just there on his own. He was probably like 10 and
he was chatting to other kids who are in the playground, very nostalgicly about his times
spent in the playground. Oh, I was amazed.
He came over to some kids who were on the swing and he went, I tell you what, being here
brings me back.
Literally this is how he spoke.
He spoke like this.
He went, I tell you what, being here brings me back.
Larer memories.
You spent a lot of time here.
Larer time here, yeah.
Really did.
Of course, you know, it's your playground now.
It's like, 10 or 10, you know what I mean?
It's your playground, I swear,
no word of a lie, he used the expression,
it's your time to shine.
It's like, what?
What's this going on?
Who is this?
It sure is.
This wasn't a very small old man.
That's what it felt like.
But he wasn't like, you know,
he was wearing like,
he was like wearing like an oversized T-shirt
and basketball shorts and trainers and just, you know,
but just he talked like he was, you know,
like a sort of 70 year old bloke sucking on a wood vine.
And then suddenly I carry on playing with Cleo
with you know, going around the playground
and I see him again by the climbing frame,
chatting to a different kid, and it gets even deeper, and I'd say darker, because he goes,
do you ever think what it would be like to live your whole life again?
Oh!
To this day again, to another kid, like a seven-year-old this time.
Do you ever imagine what it would be like?
Do you ever think about it, or might be like to live your whole life again?
Something's thinking about it, I really, really wish I could sometimes.
I just, I'd love to go back and properly say
goodbye to Granddad.
I was like, what are you?
This is insane conversation.
I wanted to chat to him, but then I thought,
let's just leave him, you know, he's got his own problems.
I can be your granddad now.
But imagine what it's going to be like when he's kind of, you know, in his forties.
Imagine the levels of nostalgia he's going to feel then.
Absolutely insane.
I'm trying to think like one of the most nostalgic things I've ever done before.
But when we had to move
had to move bedrooms And so I like filmed my bedroom to the tune of in my life by the Beatles
So I've made like a three-minute music video
Which with my cancorder how old me it?
I was about 16. Oh wow 15. Yeah, yeah
It's literally just the details of my then bedroom and the posters
and then it finishes coming out the door and then the door closing. In my life, I love
you more than the door closes. I remember being like very kind of,, well I thought it was going to be fine actually. I submitted the to the prize quite never heard.
Surely this is good enough to be on a flim somewhere.
Yeah hasn't Tracy ever already done the I made bed?
Hey, I make my bed.
I really, really, my wife never makes her bed.
Do you, could you imagine? It's a really real tent. My wife never makes her bed.
Do you, does that, could you imagine? What, so now I know, I know famously
you've both got, you've got two doofets
of different thicknesses.
Yes.
So do you make your doofet
and then her doofet is just like a stream?
I have to make them both.
I can't leave, because you can't have
the trouble.
Have you tried? Is this something where you've gone right? I'm gonna leave, because you can't have to drop that. Have you tried?
Is this something where you've gone, right?
I'm gonna leave it a couple of days
and see if it happens.
Yeah, but that is not healthy.
No, no, no, no, it's not,
but I meant, how do you know,
just how do you, how do you,
how do you, how do you,
how do you, you know,
she's not of like a seven p.m. bedmaker.
Oh, okay.
I'm just, I'll see you getting into it.
Yeah.
So it's like, it sounds like a euphemism in some way.
I don't know if it's a war or a seven-pin bedmaker.
He was a real seven-pin bedmaker.
But yeah, I think like the,
I had instant nostalgia for like,
I'll never have this again.
A room of one's own, the way it was supposed to be.
You know, I was immediately kind of like nostalgic for.
Were you moving in with your brother into a room with your brother?
No, I think I was just moving into another bedroom.
LAUGHTER
Hey, yeah.
I think I was look into another bedroom.
So yeah, I guess that's...
Well we're gonna watch back the video now of Tom's bedroom and realise it was actually
quite shit.
Those rose tins is spectacles.
So who was getting your bedroom, like one of your other brothers?
Were they demolishing it?
I think, I think my two brothers were getting that room,
because it was big.
Yeah.
Oh no, I think, oh yeah, I was moving into the loft extension
because my sister had gone to university.
Are you a better?
I was, well I was sharing it with my sister
whenever she was back from uni.
I think it wasn't ideal.
I can tell you that.
It wasn't ideal.
Right.
I had hired, yeah, anyway, I don't know, I opened old.
There was, I was promised that loft.
I don't open old bedrooms.
I want to shut them very slowly to use it.
I don't want to bedrooms, I want to shut them very slowly to the music.
I don't want to learn my family's dirty laundry.
For reasons I've already stated.
Well there we go. Are you not nostalgic, Clarky?
No. Are you not at all?
No, I am, yeah, of course.
I mean, you're not, you've had a terrible life.
That's one of the things you actually remember about Clarke.
Yeah, yeah.
If he's had one of the worst lives of anyone.
So, he's always, ever the optimist that things could get better.
Always just looking forward.
Never look back.
If anything.
Can I just...
Can I just say one thing, sorry, Ben, to interrupt you on the one time you got a chance
to speak in this entire 20 minute episode.
But, Barry just did the most dad thing I think I've seen in due, which was why you started
talking out of nowhere, he produced a tape measure and just started unccoiling it and retracting it. What are you measuring
them out of time Clark is talking? Alright you're already throwing it. I'll give it a
minute. I'll take a mile. I'm just going to give a quote for it. Yeah. I need to get my tools. Sorry man, I didn't mean to do it.
You can't beat a good tape measure can you?
Let's be honest when it's around.
Sorry.
I've got to know what.
The old yes ending.
We said that we were so good at doing.
Do you get the nostalgic bed?
No. You can't beat any time, which I can't you.
He's 10 years' time.
In 10 years' time we'll go,
should we stick out one of our old bonus episodes?
I can't believe it, but...
Let's do it back and go, oh my God.
Dad's skid pants and tape measures,
it was pretty bizarre terrible episode.
It was a bleak old ride.
I think the work that Clark and I have been doing has been absolutely
fearless. We've been very much the, the zoltzman in
herring of his podcast. You've been all of the pappies.
Right. So, well look, come along on the 15th of November,
come along on the 16th of December. Yes, please.
We're back out on stage to relearn the ropes.
Yeah, I'm excited about it, man.
It's the first, like I've not done anything on stage.
What's that you're going to do?
I thought I was, but I thought I was.
Listen back to those, listen back to the last series
you did in front of an audience.
It was great.
And you know what, you know, with a great audience
like the guys, I tell you what,
the people who were there back then,
they weren't at the quality of the people who were listening
now, apart from the people who've remained listening
for the last 10 years.
There you go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I tell you what, quite a while,
I was attempting there, but yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, I'm sure we'll have a nice crowd.
Like I say, that 15th is nearly sold out.
So please do grab your tickets pretty soon.
Eventbrite.co.uk, EVET, BRIT,
.co.uk, get your tickets.
And yeah, by the way, if you remember the Patreon
and you're thinking of coming along,
there was a link on the Patreon
to get you discounted tickets.
I think you get two quid off.
Ooh, so, well, you deserve it.
Well worth it.
Join the Forquid tier, get the two quid off, cancel it.
You may have two.
Oh, stop, I'm being pulled out.
You still get all of the bonus episodes thereout there. I can tell you, our bonus episodes of the bonus episodes.
They're out there.
I can tell you, our bonus episodes truly are bonus episodes.
The ones you bought on the matriode, they really are bonus episodes.
No jiff episodes there, though.
No jiff episodes.
Okay, okay.
Well, see you there?
See you there, man.
Yeah, I'll see you there.
Yeah, just'll just say.
The only reason, the main reason for doing this is just to convince Perry to come along to the
live episode.
It's a...
I don't think it's working.
Good.
Wow.
I can see him back again at the door.
Wait, hang on a second.
My life plague.
We did promise to end this episode by throwing a piece of ham over ourselves.
Now, we're all doing this over soon. So if you've got your...
I've got my, I've got my bit of corn ham.
Got it here.
Just gonna...
Hey, there you guys!
Land it right on the belt.
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to freedom at a lot for her.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Poor things.
It's like theaters December 15th.
But safer.
I love you, my love.
You moron.
Bye!