Pappy's Flatshare - Bonus Holding Alt Special 2

Episode Date: March 1, 2017

Here's another special episode culled from the best chunks of live gig introductions which preceded the Flatshare Slamdown recordings of the last series.Within it you'll find plenty of Pappy's and cam...eo appearances from Liam Williams, Barry from Watford, Nish Kumar and John Robins. You'll also find lots of beef, loads of gibberish and an exhaust pipe.Do please spread the word about the show and/or even stick a nice review of it somewhere? iTunes maybe. Or on your Facebook wall. Or any wall really. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Athia? Tom? Oh my god. They've gone on holiday without me. And I'm left in the house home alone on my own. So here we are, it's me, Clarke, for another bonus edition of Flat Share Slum Down. And it's a bonus because you won't be hearing a normal episode, you'll be hearing the chat we do before an episode. And what you're thinking, that doesn't sound as good as a normal episode, but it is.
Starting point is 00:00:47 So before we do a show normally, we chat to the audience, we'll read out some of the beefs that won't make it into the episode itself, and we bring our guests out, sometimes have a little chat to them. So you can have a lovely time listening to it. I hope I haven't put you off. I'm a little bit scared right now, because there's a man outside my house, she'll help Ting, and I don't know what about,
Starting point is 00:01:11 but I don't think it's aimed at me. But either way, it's put me on edge, but never mind all that. You, you don't have to worry about that, or you have to worry about is listening to this episode, which is nothing to worry about. So you have nothing to worry about is listening to this episode, which is nothing to worry about, so you have nothing to worry about other than whatever is going on in your life at the moment, but listen to this episode and then you won't think about the stuff in your life that's going
Starting point is 00:01:34 on at the moment and you won't have any worries. And that is a money back guarantee, scarf, scarf. No one pays any money for this. Enjoy the episode, guys. I love you dearly and I'll probably come back and have a little chat to after the first little bit we'll do which may feature a little bit of Liam Williams and Barry from Whatfudge, your lucky sons of guns. Oh, so have a great listen, see you in a bit you guys, bye. Flash is slammed down. We're in a flat. Flash is slammed down. I'm sure we love me.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Flash is slammed down. So we can just slide down. Flash is slammed down. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage. Your flat mates for the evening. It's Pappy! Yay! That was good.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Oh wait. Hi everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. How are you doing? Good. Fantastic Share Slam Down. I'm... Flat Share Slam Down. You're in Flat Share Slam Down. Yes! Give us a chance if you've been to a flat slam before. Give us a chance if you haven't.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Really? 50-50? That's why you've got so many people filling in beef brothers. Yes. That's the reason. That's the right response. Well, people who've been before in a sound, some of the people who haven't been before are about to have. Go! Oh! Well, like, you're strapping, guys.
Starting point is 00:02:57 It's a real, it's a real petting zoo of an evening. I can't expect. You can expect all of that. And more. So basically, it's a podcast it's set in our evening. I can't expect. You can expect all of that. And more. So basically it's a podcast it sets in our flat. I'm the landlord. Where is that flat? It's Bristol. It's Bristol.
Starting point is 00:03:12 It's Bristol, but that's. It's Bristol. I never told you until this day, but I've always pictured it in Bristol. Well, if I didn't know you'd attempted next. No, that's the reason why. Whatever, attempt to do that. The reason I didn't say it's in bar play as well, I lost.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Very much. I love doing buildings. No, not Dutch. I mean, that was quite a Dutch, shut by way of the valleys, not in Brisbane. It's always a lot of Welsh to all your accents. It's always underlies that apart from my Welsh accent. It's actually quite the Indian.
Starting point is 00:03:43 So, basically, it's a panel show that's set in our front room. I'm the landlord, Tom. Hooray! Hooray for landlords. They're the best. Have I told you I'm on my landlord's shit list? Well, no, like, my landlord is in South Africa.
Starting point is 00:03:58 And some reason I've ended up on his maiden list with his mates of funny photos that he sends round. So I like that. I'll get an email from him that'll be like, women drive like this, and then a picture of like a car off a cliff. And then look at this cow taking a shit. And then another email that says,
Starting point is 00:04:13 I'm putting your rent up for me. That's it. And now I don't know what relationship I have with my landlord. I'm gonna be like, oh, those bloody women drivers, they're making seven percent. Do you not think, yeah, can you not, can you go back with some funny photos?
Starting point is 00:04:26 Like, what about that great one of the man with his dick and the exhaust pipe? Send that back to him. I'd be like, this is what you're doing to me, man. LAUGHTER With your rent in the crepes. You're fucking me like this, this, this, this. I'm at least thinking, I'll tell Piper, mate.
Starting point is 00:04:39 LAUGHTER Really, I'm sorry. Oh, what a mental image to kick the show off. Yeah. It is a mental image to kick the show off. Yeah. It is a mental image. I'll send it to you. Listen, so... Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Starting point is 00:04:52 We'll have your punty near enjoy, mate. It's actually, if you get, it's my profile pic on Lytton. So you can see it there. Some of you filled in your beef brothers. We've picked one of your problems to solve during the show, but some of your problems will not less solve, but we'll read them out now. Just have a quick chat about them.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Why not? Clarky, if you got one there? Oh, baby, do I? No. I got one from Alex here. I foolishly got my boyfriend a six-foot inflatable T-Rexed. Age is three to eight at the only learning centre. The T-Rex is aged three to eight. Good stuff learning centre. The team is aged three to eight.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Good stuff. Bury! Wow! I'm really pleased that Karki shut you down there, because I was literally going to say the exact same thing. I'm really dodged to bullet there. Surely, you'd be founcing a few as old, right? Oh, for Christmas, it has been in our living room
Starting point is 00:05:44 fully inflated ever since. I've created a monster literally. Terry Donate, our living room, and there's no space for the dining table. Where the fuck have you put the dining table? Terry's eating it. Who's that from? That's from Alex.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Where are you, Alex? Yeah. Oh, hey, Alex. But I mean, what's that? Was that your from Alex. Where are you Alex? Oh, hey Alex. But I mean what was that in your own present for Christmas? I know, it's not the only one. That's all right then. Just the main present. That's not good. You've gone for spectacle over substance, haven't you? That's a good thing though, because most of the main presents I get for my girlfriends. They get put away. My girlfriends! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:06:25 Whoa! Yeah! They get put away. How do you get put away, boy? Bitter. Larky, you reprimate. How many girls you got on the bubble, mate? He's in it for the present.
Starting point is 00:06:35 It's an incredible news. He's in it for the present. I knew about three of them. But how many are there? Oh, wow. What's your problem, then? Matthew, it's not my problem. It's Rachel's problem.
Starting point is 00:06:44 No, no, I was asking you, General. What's your problem? I mean, I thought you were just going to cover that. Back to you. But yeah, Rachel says, my cat woke me up, which is great, the old flatmate, your cat. My cat woke me up by biting me on the chin. That seems quite cute, really.
Starting point is 00:07:00 And my housemates want my cat dead. There's a lot of problems going on there. Rachel, where are you? Hi, Rachel. Do you think it's cute to bite someone on the chin? I think it's adorable. Ooh. Come here, mate. Come here.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Is that because it's all chibbite? Chibbite, god. No. Come on. No. God, can't be horrible, wouldn't it? No, it couldn't do it. Can't do it. I once,
Starting point is 00:07:26 Chin Bite sounds like a Jason Stapham movie. Chin Bite, Chin Bite, Chin Bite mate. I'm gonna punch you so hard, you're Chin Bite. Oh, what's her existence? Wait, I'll tell you a punch word. One word.
Starting point is 00:07:39 He punched people and they bite their own chin's off. Yeah, you're gonna have to have a massive overbite to do that. Stapham. That'll be incredible. Stay for that being credible. We've solved that problem. Harry, what was your problem? Says here, my housemate has discovered a small pea-sized lump on the shaft of his penis.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Hang on, I said, hold on, you're making this up. And you know what to do about it. It's like solid, and it's halfway down the shaft, and it's like gristle. I can tell you what they're doing. Oh, should it, I think anybody else got this. Is it normal? What should he do about that?
Starting point is 00:08:08 It's probably assist. What you have to do, because I had one in my bollocks. Yeah. What basically is, it'll be your erethra will have just developed a bit of buildup because you're not clearing the pipes. Whoa, no, I'm clean. Well, you've got to do a bit of chim chim and each chim chim, chim chim, your armour frame mates.
Starting point is 00:08:24 And yeah, what they do is they put jelly on your genitals Well, you've got to do a bit of chim-chim and each chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, chim-chim, ch to text you around my family. You can put it on Facebook, yeah, yeah. Genuine, is it how far along the pipe is it? It's like halfway down. Half an inch. Two inches. No, I'm just, I'm genuinely just one an hour long, anyway. Well, that's that problem solved. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:08:58 I mean, it was all of that. Everybody's got a real mental image now of both Paris pipe and my ball so Clarkie, I spent another hour out, so fee-hatch in the house. This lady who lives in my building looks at me with such disdain whenever we cross paths. Mom. Oh, that's a good question. That's so cool.
Starting point is 00:09:21 That's so cool. You'll know the good jokes because Tom will tell you. Um, I'm sorry, you. Yeah, I think, oh, he only says it about his own as well. Yeah, this is incredible. It's not a flat mate. There's no name here. Who's got the dog? All they want when it remains anonymous.
Starting point is 00:09:34 They might want to remain anonymous. Yeah, they probably can put the dog once to remain anonymous. Yes. Dogs often do, don't they? Dogs. They rarely introduce themselves. Oh, shh. They're unbusted. I, she's... Oh, bastard.
Starting point is 00:09:47 I went on the march on the weekend. It's quite a few people who dressed up their children and their dogs with like slogan t-shirts. And I was like, what if your dog is a Tory? Yeah, most of them are. Most dogs are Tory. Shorty Tories. They'll never admit it. So, they know where their pauper it was.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Oh, I made a fifth. LAUGHTER That was, by the way, you can tell not They know where their pauper it was. I made a fifth. That was by the way, you can tell not one of Tom's books. This is exciting. My dog keeps watching me when I get dressed. I do close the door, but he takes a run up to barge open. Bwaah! What the herb dog, herb dog, what you're gonna do?
Starting point is 00:10:27 Er, I've got er, from Jess Mousegate. Great name. Yeah. She says like a cartoon heroine. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, how does that one person's on board at that time? And that'll Jess Mousegate over there, aren't you Jess? She's on board. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:10:42 Jess Mousegate's here! Yeah! She sounds like a cartoon heroine addict. LAUGHTER Yes, Mousekate over there, aren't you, Jess? Yeah! Jess Mousekate's here! Yeah! He sounds like a cartoon heroine addict. LAUGHTER What's Mousekate got to say for herself? Our flat is now home to four humans and two mice. Yeah! So are you going to do that all night?
Starting point is 00:10:59 It's a very mild rally. I smell a cid car! Two of my housemates see no reason to call the exterminator. They're reasoning, you can't kill all the mice in London. How big are you? Sure, a flak. They regularly come into the kitchen and living room and my housemates claim they can't see them.
Starting point is 00:11:23 Now, are they real mice, or do you see mice? I can very mild six cents. Yeah, or like a bad one of your already sentences. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Um, should we start? We should, yeah, yeah, we're not... We're not gonna talk that.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Well, he's like, he's peaked and we haven't pressed record. It's a real shame. Right, so we've got two fantastic guests. Let's bring them out. And please, if I was going wild and crazy for the fantastic Liam Williams and Barry from Watford! Oh! Freshest land down. We're in a blast.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Freshest land down. Showing without me. Freshest land down. Showing without me. Freshest land! So, let's blow it down! Clashes that do show without me! Well, I think we can all agree that was some good, solid stuff. I would score that first section, a clean 10 out of 10. Some great jokes, some great chat, and some top-notch tapes.
Starting point is 00:12:20 And that's from someone who hasn't even listened to it yet. So, I can only imagine the elation you guys are feeling. So, the good news is, there's more to come. And I've had a text message if you heard that. So doubly good news, but I won't be rude and look at it right now. I'm again to tell you what's coming up in the next section. Yeah, sorry, I was just checking that text. So, here we go, into the next section,
Starting point is 00:12:47 I'll see you at the end, you know, there's no good reason for me to be there, but I'll, you know, I'll see you out. Enjoy the section, guys, bye! BAY! Avery, do we normally do like a big announcement for our stagewomen? Please, welcome! Your podcast stars!
Starting point is 00:13:04 Well, we've adopt those words. We're normally on stage and then you announce it. Please welcome your podcast stars. See? I mean, that's not bad. No, no, no, no, no. I feel that what happened there was you didn't name the podcast stars.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I don't think, I think, on your right to do so, because the name isn't the selling point. But I feel like it went, you're podcast stars! And everyone was like, okay, and then it stopped and they were like, what do we do now?
Starting point is 00:13:35 So if you say, by podcast stars, then you remember to always up at the end. Up at the end? Yeah. Up at the end! Every time. Every sentence? Yes. That's Australian. That's the question. Oh every time every sentence. Yeah, that's just Australian.
Starting point is 00:13:47 That's the question. Oh, never a sentence. I had a fever dream last night. But we were on QI. I dreamt we were on QI. And yeah, hey, why is that funny? 10 years we've been doing this. Probably last the funny.
Starting point is 00:14:05 I've ever on QI all three of us. And just before we went on, I said to you Matthew, have you prepared anything? You're like, no, no, we're just going to wing it. And then we went on, Ben Goes guitar, right? Sangue everything, and people loved it. And you prepared jokes to say about what Ben was singing. And people loved it.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And I woke up in a cold sweat. Fry was livid with me. And genuinely, it was like, it was cross. I've gotten an announcement. We should really have chat about his off stage. But Clark and I have been asked to be on QI. No! Now that Toxby's taken over, they're taking a weird... We're going to basically be the singing corner.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Oh, Clark, you're playing the guitar, and I just say sarcastic things about it. Literally my worst nightmare. The two of you are successful. Yes. Sorry buddy, the golden rule. You worry about that. The golden rule. The nightmare only.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Yes, you can do the things just as long as they're not too good. That's the last of my time. Welcome to Flash Slam there, you well? Yeah. Is it hot? Yes. It's really warm in it. In it warm. Is it hot? Yes! It's really warm in it. In it warm.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Is it warm? What? Can I take my jeans off? No, no. Yeah, because you wouldn't, it's not gonna be a problem, is it? I didn't pack any shorts. And it's warm for jeans.
Starting point is 00:15:19 No, for it. Yes, it's gone. What are your jeans off? It's a problem, will it? I think that's completely fine. No one can see, no, you're fine. Can you really find it? What do you, I can gone. What do you mean? I think that's completely fine. No one can say you're fine. I think you're really fine. What do you...
Starting point is 00:15:28 I can't say it. Is it laundry day? Yes, he's... He's... Commander. John, you've got to now do that. Oh, look at this. I'm a little bit sick. Acast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Cast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. A-cast.com
Starting point is 00:16:51 That would be a great trick if that was actually your penis then. Yeah, my penis can't do that. Oh, not impressive. Anyway, so, it's about three things it can do. Please, please, please don't list those things. Yeah, you can open bottles with it. Yeah, yeah. I think that's incredible.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Never get invited to parties. That's incredible. Incredible. So, welcome to Black Shestown. It's a live podcast with your podcast stars. Uh... Uh, uh, uh, Papi's... So welcome to Black Chest, down down it's a live podcast with your podcast stars Papi's And this week the theme of it is making the bed making the bed making the bed Making the bed
Starting point is 00:17:37 Was that to super match game from blankity black? Yes That's why we're friends That's why we're friends! That's why we're friends! I'm making the best! Making the best! It's also the song that I sing in my head, but I'm not making the bed. Really? Basically, I am a chore I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I sing the ground. I sing the ground! I sing the ground! You are doing a very sweet path, haven't you? It's a very well kept garden. He's... Well, that'll wake you, buddy. Very kind on you. Very nicely hooded.
Starting point is 00:18:14 I do... Spinning around. That's what he's sort of. I'm making the bed... Get out of my way. He's been making... Who's way? I make people the speds against their will That's what I think I've been doing
Starting point is 00:18:29 It's me, it's me So that's the theme this week Later on in the show we're going to be doing a round call beef brothers You all know about beef brothers Here is some of the beef that you've never been before Wait Oh, okay, that's it I don't know what next question is Give us the start, Liz Give us the cheer. Oh, okay, that's it. Next question, give us a start with.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Give us a cheer if you've been before. If you haven't been before. And then make a comment about the people that haven't been sound more. You were much funnier in my dream. You were much funnier in my dream. Well, quick, I'll sing it. Get the 6th string out. So, yeah, so here are some of the, have you got any beef that are not going to make the show?
Starting point is 00:19:09 Ben says, my housemate puts protein powder in everything. Is that a bad thing? The bath. Where's Ben? How long? Oh, hey. Doesn't sound like he's full of protein powder, not he? Sounds positively weak.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Does your housemate spike your things with protein powder? How long do you think it is? It doesn't sound like it is full of protein. Padding, I see. It sounds positively weak. Does your house mate spike your things with protein powder? No, it gets every right. Really? It starts to smell after a bit, doesn't it? Does it look like scar face? That's how I imagine it. It's kind of like, roydraged guys,
Starting point is 00:19:39 saying for it the stage has been like, I'm cut for fun. Yeah. I'm saying like to my little friend, because... Shrinks it, doesn't it? Does it? Does it shrink it? No. It's just...
Starting point is 00:19:49 The Tom, when he was living with his flatmates, he's flat-skinned. He's flat-skinned, I'm flat-skinned, mate. Most people who live with me are flat-skinned. In fact, I have one, no. Now, you, was it... One of your flatmates in your house at university started putting corn in everything.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Todd would be cooking and he would just open it in a corn and just pour it into whatever he was cooking. You know, and so Tom, in order to prove to the house that they were eating too much... This is insane, right? He said, we're eating too much corn in this house. This is my worst story, by the way. Yeah, he shouldn't be telling me. He said, we're eating too much corn in this house and in order to give a sort of visual said, we're eating too much corn. We're eating too much corn in this house, and in order to give a sort of visual clue
Starting point is 00:20:26 that we're eating too much corn, he opened a copy of the Guardian, put it on the ground, shatter onto it on his housemates. I went, look at that, we are eating too much corn. It looks like a fucking cob. LAUGHTER It was at the end of a heated argument.
Starting point is 00:20:44 It didn't just happen. It was just way to shut an argument. It just thrust it upon us and they were like, prove it and I was like, I can prove it. Oh, my God. You are the worst. You realize right now I've been so reluctant for him to take off his trousers.
Starting point is 00:21:00 I never know what's going to follow. Having in court for days, you're safe. Hey, does court just go straight through? Is that true? Well, let's find out now! The worst show ever. Anyway, is there no glass of the beef? Is that not on YouTube channel you're thinking of starting up?
Starting point is 00:21:19 Does Core just go straight through? German, does it blend? You could do it like pooh sticks. you could do it like pooh sticks. No, pooh sticks is the word pooh sticks. You know what pooh sticks is, I can't hear you. Yeah, but you could each eat, oh no, let's not go into this. This is getting very scatty. There's a good one, who's one?
Starting point is 00:21:40 It could be a single piece of cake. Oh, you race it. Yeah! I love it, I mean. I say, yeah. Race it through, buddy. And then you poo into a sea of... Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Here's a question. That's a smaller person, right? Do we call it panning for gold? LAUGHTER And at the end of the day... It's not bad. The Johnny Green giant is just green because he's throwing up, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:22:05 So, because I'm a smaller person, do I have smaller guts than a taller person? Would I have a natural advantage having, you know, not as violent as a woman? Let's find out. We play panning for gold. That will be our first round this week. It doesn't quite fit with making the bed, but you know. Um, panning for gold. Panningigold. Panifigold.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Panifigold. Nice work. It's got a thing to do. It's got a thing to do and it's got a catchphrase. It's ticking the boxes. We can't reach an osman as the jolly green giant. It'd be perfect. Very good actually, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:43 I think this could be this. This could be, this could be Articut to QI. Finally a viable TV product. Basically quite a lot of reviews and battles were basically, oh you just took a shit and made and filmed it. But we wouldn't know what we're going to do if we're real guys. And it'll be better. And it'll be early. What have you got? What have you got? Who's got the good one over the microwave? Have you got it'll be better. And it'll be... What have you got?
Starting point is 00:23:05 It's got the good one over the microwave. Have you got it? Oh, yes. As him says, my flatmate constantly stops the microwave with one second to go. Who does... Oh! Does he pretend like he's diffusing a bottle?
Starting point is 00:23:19 Yes, it's pretty impossible. I think that's great. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun sleep in a late-tool I think. Just don't like the beeps. It's like, it's 6.30 in the evening mate, you should be showing up on time. I'm stupidly my alarm is a microwave. If I am very toasty in your bed, is it any out? If I am very toasty in your bed, you're always bleeding. If I ever end up on a live-supp support machine, don't come and visit me. Oh,
Starting point is 00:24:08 finally a bit of peace. It's two senses of the turn. Rose, Rosiera, is that you Rosie? Excellent first and last name. What's your name? Kate. No, I'm not. What a shame. Rosie, can you tell you what? Rosie, Kate, speak a halter though. If you just go, Kate, Rosie, Kate, speak a halter,
Starting point is 00:24:34 I want those business cards mate. I want those business cards. So Rosie says this, this comes straight from the pen of the speak a halter. The burning miss it from the Speakerhalter residence. My housemate, aka boyfriend. Oh. I heard it up.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Keep it cash. Did you start housemate and then progress? Oh, no. You, that's okay. Okay. You started boyfriend and now you're regressing. Is what's happening? I started boyfriend then became housemate.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Then became housemate. Oh, okay. Right, okay, good. You just ill boyfriend, that's good. This, by the way, he sounds like a keeper. Because he has set the fingerprint response security on his iPhone to recognize his toe. Nice bit of, nice bit of work, speak a whole to this, a better half, total edge.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Recognize his toe, he turns his phone on this way and thinks this is normal. What does he do on the bus? Is he always in flip-flops? Where is he a chimpanzee? He's not the guy from every way but loose. He's not that classic speaker holder. A day to go to an ape. I know one thing about a speaker holder, you cannot take it to the monkey enclosure. She comes out with four or five phone numbers. She really does. All done by Toes. What's his surname? Phillips.
Starting point is 00:25:50 Whoa! You've got to retain your name. You've got to retain your name. Give him yours. Yes. Absolutely. What's his first name? James. James Phillips. Why are you going out with James Phillips? James Phillips. Oh my God. Fucking screwdrivers over there. No way! can't speak up to this episode better than Philips
Starting point is 00:26:07 I'm going to buy him and just make it longer Speagle, speak a lips, speak a lips, I like Speagle lips, speak a lips, speak a lips I'm going on the speaker lips, I like to want the speaker lips, that's what they say We're not going to get the better night in everybody tonight Should we, should we introduce our guests? Oh my god. Erm, not.
Starting point is 00:26:27 So, you just can't imagine that this is a podcast setting out flat. So, you're all guests running out flat. So, yeah, for some reason, it tombs it by a guest round to take these trousers off. So, that is so hot. Because we've irresponsibly heated our flat. If you feel too warm, you feel free to pop your jeans off. I've not had how uncomfortable did the audience feel there?
Starting point is 00:26:49 That was incredible. I've not had hot water in my boiler's broke since Tuesday morning. Oh my god. See how much shower? I haven't shouts it's Tuesday. Oh no! No, mate. What are you jeans back off?
Starting point is 00:27:02 No, I need to air this. I need to air it. Wait, no, I have it a little rough. Not an animal, I've boiled the kettle a few times and sat in the bath. That doesn't make you clean. You've got to put that water in the bath. I'm just sitting in the bath with that cup of tea. I thought I'd be doing it on. On the same time, we've gone from one extreme to the other. That's all very cold, flat, very warm room. Hard extremes. So speaking of extremes, we have got
Starting point is 00:27:34 two extremely talented guests. Yes, not bad. Not bad, you're right. They'll be saying more than words. Oh, yeah, I like that. Stream, the band. Thanks very much, yes. Five people clapping is Crosby's favorite side. Oh yeah, I can do it! That's pretty much it. Five people clapping is Crosby's favourite song.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Oh my God. Two of the funniest men who live in the south of the country. Wow! What do you think about that statement? I'll sat next to you right now. No, they're genuinely two of the funniest men around. Why have you gone quiet? I's a lot of things going on. Up at the end.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Up at the end. There we go. They do it the funniest men around. No, but if you go, why? Why is everyone applauding? I don't know what's going on. No, if you go up at the end, then it sounds like a question. Two of the funniest men around.
Starting point is 00:28:18 No, no, not question. They do have the funniest men around. Please welcome Nishkoon Rojan Romney. CHEERING The funniest bet around, please welcome Nishka Rojan Romeo! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE They are funny? I have to be honest with you, when he said speaking of extremes, I was like, well, I know which one of us is the best.
Starting point is 00:28:37 So, I'm really unbelievable. Have you really got no pants on? You've got pants on? No, I've got no American right. Oh, they're tighter, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Well, the way it would be ideal is his porno name as well. It's already going well.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Up in the end, mate. Now, as... That's the name of his porno movie. Oh! Press record, come on, press record! That's the name of his porn movie. Oh! Press record! Press record! Oh, he... Oh, he's capturing this panning for gold.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Okay, so the theme is to make the bed, as we haven't done it for the last year, we haven't recorded any of the sketches yet. We're going to record... Can I just hear from Jon? Of course you can. Oh! Sorry, could I just even John? Hello mate. Hello there. Not, I'm not. Sounds good. Good. I'll catch a riff later in the show. Just notly dude.
Starting point is 00:29:42 They're showing a couple of singers. I'm not gonna jump in when it's not my vibe. Absolutely. It's really bright. You wait. So we're gonna crack up with the show. We haven't got the sketch, but we have got the last part of the sketch. You'll hear the words, flash air slam down.
Starting point is 00:29:58 We've been cheering the show. We'll begin. Come here and quick to call Paul. Remembrance. People. Remember folks, we're just gonna break now for a poll. Remembrance. People. Remember folks, we're just going to break now for a straw pot. Nothing more fun before you record a podcast than a quick straw pot. There we go. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:30:13 I've got to fucking win command in a second. Your power straws? It's absolutely extraordinary. There it is. There it is. John Robbins, everyone. Welcome to the podcast! He will do that!
Starting point is 00:30:26 He will do that! Well, there we have it. What a wonderful episode. I hope you enjoyed listening to it. We certainly enjoyed doing it. If you're ever in town, when we're recording an episode, please do come along
Starting point is 00:30:40 because they are genuinely a lot of fun. We do all that chat at the start and plus we have an episode to record and we have lots of drinks, probably too many of them, but they're an absolute gas. And I'm sorry, we do mainly do them in London, sorry if you're not local, but we are this year, we're going to be doing one at the McConclus comedy festival in Wales. So if you're there, please come along. And we're also going to be doing one at the Latitude Festival also, which is going to be, it's going to be okay. That one, I'm not so sure
Starting point is 00:31:19 about, it's quite a big tent. It's a bit of an unknown commodity. We don't know how it's going to go down. Figures cost, I think, these things normally find, normally have a good time. It will be the Sunday and normally be go pretty large on a Saturday night in Latitude. Let me tell you. But we'll see. We don't have to put it out, be told you know if it's an absolute If it's an absolute car crash, but so far I mean we've had quite a few of those in our past anyway And we've always always ended up putting them out so
Starting point is 00:31:55 So you know Anyway, thank you so much for listening and I hope to see you all soon. Bye! Flash is loud down! We're in a flat! Flash is loud down! I'm sure we've got me! Flash is loud down! So we can just slow it down! Flash is loud down!
Starting point is 00:32:12 Flash is loud down! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes! Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to act in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things.
Starting point is 00:32:34 It's like theaters December 15th.

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