Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Animal Farm) S13E27

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. Spiders, pigs, bears, lions, dogs... their all welcome if they're bringing boozePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveSpencer Jones - https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/spencer-jones-making-friendsLuke Kempner https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/luke-kempner-in-gritty-police-drama-a-one-man-musicalEleanor Conway https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/eleanor-conway-talk-dirty-to-meMatty Hutson https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/matty-hutson-don-t-hold-backEd Gaughan https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/ed-gaughan-words-and-musicWill Adamsdale https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/will-adamsdale-melanjolly-a-show-of-just-songsEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of a podcast that we like to call Papi's Flat Share House Meeting. House Meeting! Very special house meeting today. It is our 8,000th house meeting. Congratulations to us all. Well done guys, we made it. We made it to the big 8,000th house meeting. Congratulations to us all. Well done guys, we made it. We made it to the big 8,000. Oh, my God, the big one. My God.

God in the Himalayan, it's the big E. The big E. Shout out to all our German listeners, by the way. We'll be touring soon as we can. We'll be touring soon as we can. Who does we have enough fans in Germany? As soon as we have enough fans outside of London, we're going to do a big tour, guys. It's been 11 years, any second now, we're going to make it.

Hamburg Munich Stuttgart. Everybody's talking about pop music. LAUGHTER So, nice to get back to our roots in Hamburg, where we started podcasting very early in our career. That's where we got our 10,000 hours, wasn't it? Exactly, we got our 10 phones at the point. If only we had a fan for every hour, but sadly no, we didn't go well. We did go well. It's 10,000 hours, lost 20,000 fans.

Yeah, we shouldn't have hit record for the whole 10,000 hours. It was just log to get through that podcast. Yeah, but we'll be releasing our box set of the Hamburg. The Hamburg sessions, as we call it, are 10,000 hours of podcasting. Live from Hamburg, that box set will be coming out later in the year to celebrate this at 8,000th House Meeting. I've had a thought. I've got an issue.

I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. OK, let's sit down and chew the fat. House meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? House meeting. Why on earth am I always weeping? House meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, creepy crawly world, are you? I'm not, no.

Have you matured slightly in your, because it used to be fucking hell? Yeah. Don't use words like matured. That's not fair. It's a phobia. It's got nothing to do with maturity. That's a bum. No, no, I think you can.

Take the edge off as you go. Well, this is exactly it. this is this is exactly why I bring it up because I I believe I have believe I've got better. Yes. And that was part part of me dealing with it was me going okay I'm gonna leave it be. I'm gonna leave it be. I'm not gonna leave it me. I'm gonna leave it be. I'm gonna go to the cafe. I'm gonna go to the cafe. I'm gonna leave it be. I'm gonna leave it be. I'm not gonna leave it be. I'm gonna leave it be. I'm gonna go to the cafe, I'm gonna call the neighbors and say the doors on the latch, get in there and sort it out. Exactly that.

There's a lighter and a can of links off the guy. Solve this problem for me. Do you think part of your phobia listening is because your knees and your hip no longer work very well? And it's very hard to move quickly away from a spider when you can't move quickly anymore at all. Yeah, maybe there is some kind of like the kind of slowing of reflexes. Yeah, like maybe that's part of the ph kind of like the slowing of reflexes.

Yeah, like maybe that's part of the phobia of like, oh yeah, you have it when you're young and fit to get away from these things. And then gradually, it's like, you're like instinct is gone. Yeah, you have to. He's lost his free space, basically. Ben's lost his phobia of people throwing bricks at him now.

He just like, you just stay still and let it happen. He's lost the ability to flinch. He's really hoping that a bricks vision is based on movement. So he's thinking if I just stay really stock still here, it'll whizz past my head. Jurassic house. Jurassic House. We've got to get Lionel Richie to do the theme tune to that. Oh my gosh. A semi-detached. You did it. You really did it. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Roman free. Well, it can't just be a house if it's a semi detached. Oh, sorry. I hope it impairs clever girl. Just a marriage suddenly next to it.

Two down just falls on his head. In fact, the bit where the lawyers eat off the toilet, the small house would disappear and then a big house would land on top of him. If anything, he's moved to the ladder. It's not a lawyer, it's a bloke of works for Foxten's. And actually, he's actually improved his living situation. He started in a commode, finished in an amazing air, he's done very well for himself. The only survivor at the end is

Buster Keaton who just keeps managing to go to the windows a little heard a caravans coming across the plane the small ones the camera just has to do a lot of work in this film. Are you recording this from a house where there is a creepy crawly roaming free? Yeah, what was the... how resolved are you? Well, here's what happened, right? I was like, you know what, let's just leave it. Let's do its thing. And the thing he ended up doing was giving birth. Wow.

Oh my God. But then, you know, wonderful. Actually, you can't disrupt the circle of life, can you? No. I've always said life finds a way. I've always said that. That's, yeah, that's really good though. It's actually tough.

Janard really likes you. If I overbend Sholder now, we saw a web performing and it said, some Ben. I'm high frozen, hello? No, no, you haven't frozen, hello? Hello, I think this is, guys, I think this is in frozen. Hang on, I'll get my internet back in a minute, I'll do it again. So, anyway, and there's a web in the corner

and it says, some Ben. Some Ben. I don't think in Charlottes, Web, the phrase some pig is clear enough. I always thought that even when I, when I, when I first read it, why did they not go with good pig? Good pig feels a bit, you know, bit on the nose, bit on the, bit on the snout. It's a bit too bad. You've had a little, you know. A bit on the nose, a bit on the snout. It's a bit too baby. It's a bit patchy on all these in as well.

Yeah, but some pig doesn't, like I understand, that's some pig. Well, you don't know it. No, no, no, she hadn't finished the question mark had they when they saw the web. She was actually set up a butcher shop. Some pig. That's the great misunderstanding with Charlotte. Charlotte was actually just trying to flood the guy. Really, Charlotte was trying to sell Wilbur.

Fancy some pig. She ain't finished, basically. Fancy some pig. Got pig. Spiling with a ratchet, breaking over there, no? Yes. Spiling with a racer, breaking over there, knows. Yeah, you're right, some pig isn't, but also we are dealing with a spider. I can't imagine, I mean, what the fact that she's doing what she's doing fair play, to her.

Yeah, but crucially, we're dealing with an author who made the story up. So why not make the face? Wow, yes. Spoiler alert. Hey, come on now. Spoiler alert. Why not make the Spoiler alert hey come on now Why not make it Spoiler alert it's fiction

Parry has to go around the book shop with his eyes closed He he not only doesn't judge your book by its cover he refused to look at the cover So because but yeah babe Babe did So, because, yeah, babe did, didn't do with some pig. It went to, that'll do, pig didn't it instead of some, well, I'm not a farmer said, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, he didn't, he didn't, sorry, into a web.

I think they would have had some sort of plagiarism issues if that had been the case. If the farmer said, I'm not going to say anything right now. But, coming to this darkened corner and look up there. All right, is, babe isn't, isn isn't a reworking of Charlotte's web? Are you mad? But is it the same thing? No?

Okay. Two different authors. But wait a second, animal farm. Now that. No. But can I have the crucial question? Are they both fiction? They're both fiction, yeah.

Fear. Animal farm is bad pig, isn't it? That's the crucial question. Are they both fiction? They're both fiction, yeah. F***. Animal Farm is bad pig, isn't it? Babe is the sheep pig, isn't it? By Dick King Smith. It's a rework in that. Oh, righty ho. And that's some, that's that'll do pig. Did you, wait, did you think as you're watching Babe,

any second now, a spider's gonna show up and start talking via the web. Not via the web. What? A good typing to be fair to them. Here's Sajirook's the web, is that the same movie? Chatroom Pig is a different book, isn't it? One that we're gonna write.

Chatroom Pig. Absolutely. Tom, what I love is whenever you have to do an up-to-date reference. Chatroom. Chatroom. Chatroom, MSN Pig. Chatroom Pig.-date reference. Chat rooms. Chat room. MSN big. Chat room pig.

MSN big. MSN, that's going to be the web in the ass. Well, basically for a successful children's film, the one like web's going to be the web top of the web. It's the one that's going to be the stablish that. Please, man. Come on, please. Give us some selling point.

What's the message from the pig though? Give us give us some selling point What's the message from the pig though? We've got we've got some pig and that'll do pig Basically the formula for a successful children's film with a pig in it is some kind of phrase with pig at the end There's complimentary to the pig Pig is like the chat great chap Pig? Pig has entered the chat. That should be the tag one. This pig has entered the chat. Pig has changed the name of this website to X. Pig doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.

He long-tusk, and he's a boar. Here's something of a boar actually. Here's something of a ball actually. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no audio settings. So, you know, even when I'm just making this sort of old moan, I'm just, I'm so malifluous, it thinks that I was singing a song. There's nothing professional about this noise. No, it was disgusting. The repairs are in. What can we have our pig do then, basically?

I think just the un-tech pig, the lack of ambiguity of the phrase, good, what about nice pig? That's what it is. Nice pig and it's projected onto those big screens in Piccadilly Circus. That's not a tech. It's called Pig in Eros. That's not bad. Is it like a pig that's on a Zoom chat and it's got like a human filter? Oh, Zoom pig. Oh.

And it becomes a billionaire. Yeah. And then the reveal is, and it's kind of, it is animal farm, but it is also babe. And it gets heavy. We get to have our cake and eat it. It's got an element of big to it as well. Pig.

Yeah. Big pig. It's got an element of big to it as well. Pig. Yeah. Big pig. It's called pig, it's called big pig. And by the end he's got like a bow tie on and he's eating well. We have to work on the ending slightly, yeah. I think that's my ambition for this piece. It's got slight third act problems.

The day new month of him wearing a boat I heated quite well. I don't think it's quite enough. Don't have the classic like he goes out to a fancy meal and doesn't know what cutlery to wear but then like the chef like gets him and he wants it all in a trough. Clarky, I'm going to say if he's wearing any of the cutlery. If he's wearing anything. Nothing works the game to a restaurant, not know what cutlery to wear. Can I say, very lucky by the way. Those are gorgeous spoon efforts you're wearing on your shoulders this morning.

Pucky, are you a pig? Where are we going? This is where the mask slips and it turns out you're a big pig all along. I've been runballed by wearing cutlery again. Crucially, are you eating well? Because that's all I'm worried about. Not that well if he's got the cutlery on his head. LAUGHTER

Eat well, pig. That's in the comments. It don't. Don't use your trotters. LAUGHTER See, trotters. LAUGHTER OK, I'm into that and we could just call it the pig, kind of hop on the bandwagon of the bear.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've not seen it, but I'm assuming the bear is about a chef who has a bear under his chef's hat, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he has what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has an incredibly strong neck.

It's a big hat. It's a really, really, really, it's a really tall hat. And it's a hat that occasionally means he dies. Because the bear is, he eats his head. Every episode is a different chef. Oh, it's got to be. And the episodes are of a varying length. Oh, it's got to be and the episodes are a varying length It's a reality TV show. It's a reality TV show. It's master chef meets a show where people get eaten by bears

It's master chef meets grizzly man. It's master chef meets the revenue Can you whip up 12 identical volivons whilst also you've got a grizzly on your head? Before this bear eats you. Oh yeah, again, I'd watch this. Every week a different bear may be keeping in the mix or like you know you're a rotating pan on a chain chef but yeah no I think you're right. We might need to change chef yeah but I think you know you want to keep your bears hungry as well don't you?

That's why episode five you know I'll mince him open flagging. Yeah, you've just got a very sort of tubby sluggish bear who's already eaten, you know, not only great. He's bored of chefs. Not only great, Wallace and John Taroad, but also Mark, Pierre White and the other lad. I mean, every one of them areeled themselves. Every one of them would satiate a bear. Do you remember when Phelps swam against a shark? No, do you remember that?

Michael Phelps just in the Olympics. Yeah, but they said they were going to race a shark. He, Michael Phelps. Right, right and and it was really exciting It was like you know he's gonna do it on TV is gonna race this race this shark and then the shark turned out to be CGI Oh Let down I know I'm saying when with padding to man I was all I would I'd written my letter to BAFTA saying this spares fucking this guy needs a normal something and then I found out it was CGI. Absolutely.

I'd written my special letter to BAFTA saying this guy needs a normal. I'd let MSN BAFTA. I'd entered the letter to BAFTA saying this guy needs a nom. I'm a send BAFTA. I entered the chat with BAFTA. Are you the guy who wrote about Bayon Pig in the city? You're the same guy right there. This is a total ripoff of Charlotte's web. Every 15 years or so we get a letter. But still give him a nom.

Where's the fucking spider in this? Are you nodding this film? There's no spider in it. How do you leave out Templeton the rat going around the carnival eating all the popcorn? I can't make any more Taylor this. That won't do pig. What I said. And you're right to do it, so thank you. I'll say it again as well. Well maybe don't do that, but my answer to it froze a bit.

That won't do pig, is what I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which better? We got that, but my internet froze a bit. That won't do pigs, as I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which better? We got that clearly. Glad to be got that. How's BD? I live in a house made of iron sheets. How's BD?

So if you were to wear a bear on your head while you were cooking a meal, which one would you go for? Uh, Koala. I'm not a bear, is it? It's a marsupial. I'm not a bear. Unl It's a marsupial. Can't. A bear. Unlucky mate, that loophole has closed. Yeah.

What's to be, it wants to be small? Does it have to... Right. Silly question, I think I know the answer. Does it have to be a... A bear? There'd be a live bear. It can't be a teddy bear. Oh, who's watching that?

Crossby wears a teddy bear on his head and whips up a mucyca. To be honest Tom, I'm not really worried about the viewing figures. I'm all worried about being able to view my children growing up. Crucially, before watching this, he's dying words. This is... This is our problem. This is why we're not on TV anymore guys. Are you not entertained? All the young sketch groups then have a polar on their head in two seconds. Yeah, absolutely right. You're absolutely right. Go on then,

Barry, which bear would you go for? There's black and brown and white or polar, sorry. Yeah, right? Yeah. Surely there's got to be a safer bear for us to Clarkies li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- li- He gets so much chat off him. He could be a great co-host. He will cheer you up. He just set up a restaurant with you. We need to go into business together, man. We need to get a limited company going. We'll start off as a food van. We'll do the festivals and then we'll do the food fairs.

Oh, God, please no. Can I borrow a beer, please? isn't shit. Oh God please no. Yeah you'll be one of them to kill you by the end of it. I tell you what we're at Lattupe Festival I think they don't seem to have anymore is the person going round with the with the big load of beer on their back right. Yeah I was thinking about that spray in the beers. I don't have that anymore. That seems like you've got to go. Like our version of Duffman. Duffman?

Exactly. But don't you think the beer bear would be, you know, you do so well at festivals. It'd be quite a warm suit to have to wear. Yeah. Beer bears passed out again. A bit like a sunburned. Yes.

That's a dog. Yes, a bit like a sub-burner. Yeah. That's a dog. Yes, a bit like a sub-burner. But bigger. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the barrel, of course, yeah. Crucially, the barrel.

Crucially, the barrel, the barrel, the barrel. It's the barrel of the St. Berlus you're focusing on, not the St. Berlus itself, yeah. Sorry, I meant to say. It's the Bumson barrel. Did you? I like, because I wouldn't have stuck up with you if you did. The Bumson barrel. because I wouldn't have stuck up with you if you did. Done. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do you know what? I appreciated that. I'm claiming that. The old dumb, some Bernard Barrel boy.

No, not boy, so the old, some Bernard Barrel think. Yeah. Is there, was there a lot of truth in that? Because it was, I think it was, I think it was, I believe it's going to be 100% truth in it. It was kind of massive back in the day. It's true. You see less of it now.

You see less of the idea of a dog having a barrel of brandy round his neck. Yeah. But when we were growing up, it felt like you couldn't fucking move for it as an idea. Well, that's that's a dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the world's advancing.

Do you think smartphones have destroyed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. because that's how you use the, that's how you use the, said messages to people. Carrier, carrier dog. Do you think AI has destroyed the idea of the sunburned with the barrel round, isn't it? I think so, mate. I'm happy to write that article.

Yeah, I'm so happy to write that article. Because if you were seven, you're 1987. Yeah, which I was, yeah. And someone came up to you and said, I've got some burnard. Yeah. In my car, would you like to see it? You have to go and tell your mom, no, no, no. If someone said, I'm going to show you some burnard now, what do you expect?

You're going to say, it's going to borrow the brunt. Yeah, absolutely. I think, I mean, three, four years later, we're talking about, what do you expect you're gonna say it's gonna borrow the brand brand it's neck. Yeah, absolutely I think I'm here three four years later We're talking about what was the St. Bernard movie Beethoven pay over that I think Beethoven killed the brandy Oh my god like JFK killing the hat JFK killed the hat Beethoven killed the brandy because when he's dragging He's on the garden and the healthy hospital famously killed uh yeah John it's John Kennedy. See old lady swallowing the

flow all over you say and Jack Ruby killed me. Harvey Oswald. So it's some kind of killed. Yeah it was cancer. All right, P big man's up top. All right PJR big man's up top. All right, PJR, the big Jack Rubik. Shout out to that man, man, he did a good job, didn't he? Yeah. You're absolutely right. Let's pursue this. Bait Ovens Dragon people through fences. Yeah. Not a snifter of spirits to be found. Your telling me, Charles Groden, who I of loved at the end of the day when Beethoven

sloppering all over him and wrecking his house just had a little, just a little snipp of Brandy to make the edge off. Or a little dram. Little nightcap. Yeah. But I think that would ruin the film because you'd instantly like Beethoven. And that's going to happen in the third act, you know. That's, yeah.

What you don't want is a big Moves in with a low function alcoholic I've got a good idea. It's turner and hooch, but he's carrying bottles of hooch It's canine but the guys got refund him. It's gonna be K9, but the guys got those cans of... Spacel cans. Yeah, it's got K inside. He's got the cans of those K-sider.

You see that? Yeah, that's it. That's it. It's special, okay. That is something different. Goat impressions. Let's hear Bleeding. Goat impressions. Let's hear Bleeding. I'll see you. That is something different. Has been here, been here, been here.

Go to impressions, let's hear bleeding. Has been here. So that's a theory that I think we can lock in now. It should be on Wikipedia or something really where it's like, I'm sure I listen to a cool update. Yeah, if you go to the beta, when Wikipedia page, it's like there should be as an entry. I think it should be on the cent, the St. Bernard,

well, the Wikipedia page as well. It should be on three Wikipedia pages where it should be on the beta, and Wikipedia page, it should be on the St. Bernard's Wikipedia page, it should be on Brandi's Wikipedia page as well. Yeah.

And it should also be on it, Emerson. Are you talking about Brandi the singer? The boy's mind. Yeah, let's go for four. Let's do this. Actually, if we're going to do that, we must be bait over the composer as well. Let's go find. Yeah.

And maybe also go on Jack Ruby's Wikipedia page and say in the same way that Jack Ruby Kildly Harvey Oswald who killed JFK who killed the hat bait over the target. The I did suburbments. We're brandy round the next. We've got a lot of updating to do. It's a big day for Wikipedia actually actually how much do you trust Wikipedia because I'm always getting a told off for trusting Wikipedia like for me I'm just like it's it's Britannica yeah you know it's like in Carter it's it's right up there with those two in like, in like, in work, I use it all the time.

But what I try and do is, if it's important, I'll try and cross-reference it a little bit. What's your cross-reference it with though? Well, yeah, what's your cross-reference? Where would you go? Well, it's a good opportunity. For the lads. Yeah. I go to the hyperlinks and see, you know, you know,

like what's, what, where it's come from. Yeah, I go to the hyperlinks and see, you know, you know, like what's what they've where it's come from. I'm trying Google the Google the phrase that would take me to other articles that would corroborate this. This bit of information. Yeah. Barrel, here we go. Brandy. Yeah. Drag through a friend. I watch paid over and one, two and three.

And then that's my morning's work done, really. That's what you've got to do after this, to cross-reference. Are we sure it was Charles Groding? We've got to go back to the source, which is what you'd say if you've found a sunburned. Come on mate, where's the source? It's your... I've got two things I want to ask you. While we're on the subject of mountain rescue,

you come from a mountain rescue family, don't you? Yes, well, I have a member of a family that used to be in mountain rescue. Yeah, did they ever employ any form of booze carrying dog? No, they always employ dogs. Yes. Dogs are very much a part and parcel of their trade,

but no booze in saith whales. We know when it comes to carrying dogs. Does? Sorry. Can I hate that sentence again? No, booze carrying dogs in saith whales when it comes to dogs. Okay.

Dogs. I mean, yeah, it was better the second time, but it still didn't make a ton of sense. It's the old phrase. Yeah. Do you think it stemmed from one prank or one jockey photo? Is it like one dude did it once? No, it's like.

No, I think it's great. I think it's a real thing, isn't it? Where have you found that from? Wikipedia? Yeah, it's in my pocket. Yeah, check your sources. No, but this predates Wikipedia. We knew about this pre-Wiripedia.

Oh, yeah. We're living in a post-truth age, fair enough, but we've also lived through a truth-truth age. You know, and... Ah, the truth age, you're saying. Ah, the truth age. You know, and the truth age, you know. Ah, the truth age. The truth age, we lived right through it. AKA the 80s.

Truth age was a bit boring, then I wasn't it. This kind of anti-truth age is a lot more spicy. Yeah, I was definitely. Yeah, the fact you can say anything off and people kind of go, well, if enough people leave it, then it's the truth now, isn't it? Yeah, that's, I think it's much better for the world. It's a fiction, isn't it? We live in fiction, basically. Yeah, absolutely it's the truth. Yeah, I was, yeah, that's, I think it's much better for the world.

It's a fiction, isn't it? We live in fiction, basically. Yeah, absolutely. And you hate it. I mean, you know that, it's a real major. Famously a fact guy. Where are you getting it from? I think there might have been one guy who was like,

this would be good crack. And there was one sunburned. And then there was a photo of that guy and that's some burnard. And then everyone was like, oh yeah, that's what sunburners do. And then it just became like, then you'd get cartoons of it and adverts.

And then it became like, oh, that's what sunburners do. But how were there a fleet of some burnards or did every some burnard have a barrel? Or in my head, it was like the uniform of a some burnard. If you're a some burnard, you carry a barrel. Yeah, it was that old cockney song, wasn't it? I'm rolling out the some burnard. Well, that was sang by a some burnard dog.

That was in the truth. That was in the truth here. That was that was truth man. One of the issues with it is, is that you're up on my own tin. Oh I, you freezing. Dog, your dog comes rescue you yeah yeah you're like what uh what oh my god sorry mate sorry mate I might have fucked up here I've only got a massive barrel of brand day it's like being on a stag and like you wake up at 6 in the morning you like the fuck it out I'm dying and you're trying to find the toilet and then the lunatics who haven't been to bed at all see you and make you do a shot. Yeah.

Like I'm here, equivalent of it, or the glass next to your bed. You're like, oh, this looks like water. Oh, I've got bad, this is a fucking gym and tonic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the worst. Oh. And yeah, also, you're right back on it, ready for the day.

Yeah, then you're back in. it ready for the day. Yeah, the day. Hair of the St. Bernard's. The science behind you being close to death in the Himalayas and someone bringing you a shot of brandy. That can't have been, that can't be recommended in this day and age. I don't think so because they don't tend to administer any booze in hospitals, you know, more of the pits. What do they get when those trips then?

What? But they used to be like, you know, they give you whiskies like a sort of pain relief, brandy as a sort of revivification type, you know, elixir. It's the truth, age, man. It's a better time. This is it, why is it all, I mean, actually as well,

I tell you what they probably do use, still alcohol in hospital for, disinfectant, don't have alcohol wipes, won't they, or they'll have alcohol sort of pour into a wound, right? It won't be like, they won't open a bottle of Gordon's, you know, but it'll be something,

it'll be something a lot better but it's gonna be like, no one needs the good stuff. Do you think, do you think the reason we've gone into a post-truth age is because we had too much truth? So it's like, like all the fun little kind of idiosyncrasies of like we'll give you a nipper whiskey to sort you see you writing stuff. That all got ironed out because we got incredibly truthful and realized all this stuff's bad for you and you can't do this and that. And then suddenly there's so much truth that it's like yeah we get it

some burgers don't carry barrels of brandy anymore and yeah a pig can't fucking marry a spider and they can have a webbed bed or whatever that books about and then you go well and so like all the wonderful stories get lost and then you go well there's too much truth now actually get lost and then you go, well, there's too much truth now actually. So we're going to have to kickstart off into the post-truth era where, you know, Jeff Fjell, Crannell, Steel Beams or whatever it is, and you go, great, we're back into some good stuff here. Yeah, it's flat. Yeah, don't mind it. Let's kickstart that one again, cracking. And it's like, yeah, here we go, let's get some's kickstart that one again cracking and it's like yeah, we go Let's get some big roll out the big boys. I think you're probably probably completely

Related to be honest. Yeah, unfortunately, I was really ready to not agree with you during the marrying a spider bit But then you really pulled it back with the nine little truth or stuff In that sunburned barrel now AstraZeneca with the, yeah, nine little truth or stuff. You know what's in that, you know what's in that St. Bernard Barrel now? AstraZeneca. Astra blood is ennicker, that's what they've got now. We little microchips in there. Oh my God. The NIS.

St. Bernard's work for the 5G. It's a barrel full of 5G, my friend. St. Bernard's work for Big Farmer. St. Farmer's more like. I like. If I frozen. If I frozen quick. Get me a barrel of brandy. Right. Clarkey stagdow. Yeah. Coming up. We're all dressing as some burnards and we're having little barrels of brandy round our neck for the way we love it.

With like a straw You know what because there was there was that guy did you see it was in the papers yesterday The guy who spent I think it worked out about sort of 12 grand English money. He's in Japan to Turn himself into a border collie Some dog So this dude right it's a genuine. Yeah, this is genuine. Yeah, if you get if you go to Wikipedia now This this this guy I wrote this in the paper. Yes, he has he's got himself I mean, I think turn himself into is a strong term.

It looks like he's made like a kind of hyper realistic costume and he's been, he's got his partner to walk him around the streets like he's a border collie. I mean, it's a good looking costume. It's got something of the... It's a good looking border collie. It's a good looking border collie. It's got something of the kind of like, you know, Aslan in Chronicles in Arnia, where it looks a bit like a lion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got a great border collie. It's actually more menacing border collie than you'd Now there's a film. Dad comes home with a board of the family and it's a lion. It's a lion. What was that? What was that? I ate lion. But yeah, it had that sort of, you know, like in the original Chronicles of Narnia where as Dan, he looks a bit like a lion, but a bit more like a puppet.

That's what this dude looks like. And he's got a little bit, a little collar a bit more like a puppet. That's what this dude looks like. And he's got a little collar around his neck and a leash, and he had someone walking him down the street, and he's gone for it. To be fair to him, if you're gonna try, we must be fair to him. We've got to be fair to him. If you're all gonna try that thing,

that sort of thing, you gotta chuck 12 grand at it. Because if you're chucking 120 quid at it, that's not going to look great is it no way so you know once you've chucked four grand at it you're chucking eight grand at it and then once you're eight grand in you're going look we're going to need to go to 12 to make this work because at the moment people can see my knees or whatever it is. People aren't saying some border collie when they're walking down the street they're You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead.

You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead.

You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead.

You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You're going to be in the lead. You could ever make a costume that is convincing enough that a dog would believe it. That's the litmus test, isn't it? That's the real litmus test, isn't it? If you get another dog coming and sniffing your butt and running around and chasing you, then you know you've done it. You've absolutely done it. Dog heaven.

Yeah. If a sunburner comes over and offers to pour your brandy, you've smashed it. You fucking smashed it. Do you think the sunburner was offering booze to other dogs? I thought it was mainly. I thought mainly he was a bartender for humans. He's not going to be very popular. Is he then if he's not going to get us gone share the wealth, Bernie?

Do you think that's happening? Do you think other dogs are going to go and give us a little lap at that tap? Do you think they're playing cards and they're not on the little sniffing? That's more than cigars for folks sake. That was a German Shepherd. You arrive with a box of cigars around their neck.

They're like a super team of dogs that they are assembled with different ingredients for a good night aine. Absolutely. Pack of cars right away. You got a pack for us all around. Yeah, a pack of cars. Jack russ with some kettle chips. The English ball lines brought a pipe. I don't mind it.

Who would invite the Chihuahua with the cat come on He's not that kind of party He's all in That's K9 again, isn't it? K9 It's a long film I could say that 9 hours for a gay but poker Oh, it's for a gamer poker. I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. I've been eating.

So there you go. I'll tell you what. I'd have really enjoyed listening to that if I just listened to it. Yeah. You listened to it. In a way easy. The other two people speaking. You'd love to.

I thought it would have slowed me down. That would have slowed me down. You would have held you back. You would have been me down. Yeah, I would have held you back. You would have been, you'd be still stuck at half-repper mountain if you'd been listening to us. That's why I learnt in Hamburg, man, 5,000 hours in. I was like, you just got to pin back your ears and just crack on. Or pin down your ears.

Yeah, I was going to say pin back your ears, knowing me is listen, but whatever, whatever the opposite of it. Or whatever it is. You've got to grab your ears and time in front of your nose. Like a dachshund. Exactly, exactly. So very, very quickly. Oh, by the way, Tom, you're recording this in Edinburgh, aren't you? You're recording this live from the Edinburgh Festival.

Live from the Edinburgh Fringe, that's right. Have you got any shows you'd like to... Yeah, we should plug our show. To plug. Yeah, absolutely. Clark, you do you want to go first? Yeah, I have Spencer Jones, Go and see him, Luke Kempner, Go and see him, and Eleanor Conway, Go and see her.

There you go. And I've been working with Mattie Hudson, with a show called Don't Hold Back in the Pleasant's Courtyard, Musical Comedian, Absolute Ledge, and Ed Gawham will be taking his show Words and Music for the last two weeks. And also I'd recommend Gancy Will Adams to that as well, he's there for the last two weeks as well. So if you wrap up, there's lots of fun shows to see. Spencer Jones is also the last two weeks, Pawe.

Oh, there's never a bad time to watch Spencer Jones. Yeah, yeah, well, first two weeks for these two. Yeah, it's a very good point. Or any hours of the day where he's not doing the show. We'll stick links to all of those in the show notes. Sorry, Emma. Most likely you can get on the old Wikipedia, I'm sure it's all there. Yeah, I am not even going up this year.

I feel like if I'm not involved in a show, it's quite, you know, you want to be in the cut and thrust of the festival, but I'm jealous of you guys for being up there and for doing it, I would love to be is that I'm really happy to be here with you. I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I'm really happy to be here with you guys.

I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I'm really happy to be here with you guys. and you get obviously bonus episodes every single week of our very silly podcast, Papi's flat share, pop round. It's the Wikipedia of the podcasting world, isn't it? I'm paying for it. It so is, it's all absolute bollocks. Don't forget as well, if you've got a beef, you can either call or WhatsApp the phone number, the hotline, it's 02081233272. We've had a WhatsApp

just the other day, in fact, now. What? This is a beef we can solve here and now if you're up for it. Yeah. What? From an anonymous, oh, by the way, if you do leave a message or send us a message, do give us your name So we can we can give you the proper shout out this person hasn't but if you do we'll do it later pod My beef is a free range beef with you guys not telling us all the rhymes you thought of in the house meeting Particularly the I saw your mum one No, no, no, no, no I don't know if we can do that if you need to look you have to look that up on Wikipedia Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no But yeah, 02081233272, what's up the number

or call the number today and leave us a message with your beef that you might have with your with your neighbors, with your flatmates, with your parents, with your kids, whoever you fancy. Let's hope you don't fancy your kids. That's right. You know what I mean? You know what I mean. You know what I mean, guys. Come on, if you're going to be a good boy. It's a blick. Come on, guys. Right, we've got to work on, we've got to work on a good

jingle for that number clocky, surely. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you, we've been sent a jingle, but I will tease that for the next beef brothers. I'll play it on the next beef brothers. Great. We've been sent a new jingle. So that is something to look forward to for the next beef brothers. I'll play it on the next beef brothers. Great, but we've been sent to a new jingle. So that is something to look forward to in the next episode

of Beef Brothers, which should be coming out next week. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham to you. To you. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye!