Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Aunty Tatts) S12E20

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. The Queen of our hearts - Aunty Joy - is being tattoo'd on our calves while we listen to The Coral and read The Coral's bookNEXT LIVE SHOWSadly none for us, but The Coral's book tour can be found here - https://thecoral.co.uk/Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Gwyn Rhys Davies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew and welcome to an exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share House Meeting. Here we go, here we go again Having a good old chat and playing it to our friends Beautiful now if you're wondering why Tom is channeling that song, then enjoy the episode because we cover that song.

To the 35 minutes we cover that song. We do that and a bunch of songs by cast as well. And Tom's rendition of Sandstorm and around the 25 minibark is incredibly losing. Anyway, yes, enough of this indie disco shenanigans, what else do we have to say? You know what, it's a rare start where we don't have flat-chested slam downs to sell because Clarkie is heading off for a month off on his holidays. But is it what it's his birthday celebration tour, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Thanks, you're welcome. Thanks, you're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you. And now we're now in the pre-birthday period. You're very excited now. Back into the pre-birthday.

So, sorry, so is that what begins. Are you going to Australia to drum up excitement for your fourth coming birthday? Yeah, that's it. Right. Sorry, it's publicity tour. Yeah. Right. Sorry, that's my fault. I got confused. I thought it was a victory lap for your last birthday, but we know that you know how to draw a line and things and move on. Absolutely. So yeah, so none of that's, but if you are, if you'd like to hear more of us, then why not join the Patreon? Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flat Share. We put out an extra bonus episode every single week. We do bonus beefs with all of our beef brothers' guests.

We have a bonus audio that you don't get in the live flat share slam down. That's a bunch of bonus audio that you don't get in the live flat chest lockdown Oh Some people have said it's their favorite Version of our output you know who said I had that commented to me really Yeah, so we'll see what the fuss is all about get yourself over to the patron and for just forquid every month I mean, what's that it's bear the price of a hot coffee is it you know four quid every month. I mean, what's that? It's bare the price of a hot coffee, is it? You know, four quid a month. You hardly notice it, but you will get a lot in your inbox. You'll get four, five, possibly even six episodes every single

month. Yeah, so get over to the Patreon. Join today. Otherwise, have fun with everyone, and we all have fun with everyone. Have fun with everyone, and enjoy this house meeting. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you.

I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the flat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always weak? Has meeting.

Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Has meeting. Flashes slam down. My wife was on a... I didn't press the button. It became for that, but it started very much more choral. Could you describe it as choral?

The choral. Yeah. uh... coral the coral uh... the suns cut the suns about me waey for pimp me lonely loom uh... mystics goes to corals and i was always quite jealous of uh... yeah great genre to belong to

yes not necessarily like the sound of that genre but like on paper mystics and it's a lot of it's a lot of the label yeah Not necessarily like the sound of that genre, but like on paper. Mystic Scouse. It's a hell of a label. It's a hell of a label. Yeah. Just them. Yeah, I can't give any others.

I'm sure there must be bands, you know, there must be bands. I think. Well, aren't the Lars? Did the Lars kick off Mystic Scouse? Oh, well, maybe. Wow, I mean, there's certainly Scouse. But, um, yeah, maybe. Are you looking it up, you're finding out?

I don't know if I want to know actually, because that's the mystic side of things, isn't it, really? That's very true, yeah. If they've got a Wikipedia page, they've failed. Also, it's not as style to fact check. No, that's a very good point. So anyway, yeah, you were talking up your partner, your dear lady wife.

My partner was on her travels this morning with me daughter. And can I just say, I don't know what the accent is now, because it's, because it's been told by the stars, it's a very retortable trip down, trip down the same Hollywood Hollywood Bull of a heart which which

northern Hollywood Paul Hollywood Bull of that the so anyway say any

she met a new mom for the first time because she went to a slightly different club. And that lady had a full calf tattoo of Helena Bonham Carter. Helena Bonham Carfer? Helena Bonham Carfer. What I... What's a big choice, I think? Oh, is it an interesting choice to me? Yeah, what's a big choice I think? Oh, is it interesting choice to me? Yeah, you know any more details because obviously you want to know is it Helen the bottom

Cartha just in her civis, which is already quite sort of costumey, you know, she dresses in that way. Does Helen the bottom Cartha have, it feels like Helen the bottom Cartha's civis are already quite gothic. Yes, yes, yes. I wonder how dressed down Helen the Bonnecarta ever gets. Well, that's no question to ask of a lady. Tom!

I'm coming up with tattooed on my calf. Have a look at her exposed calf and then I'll get a tattoo of her calf on mine. It's all very taste from unless you lower the gym sock. So, do you think, do you think when HBC splitted up with old Burton? Yeah, Tim Burton, yeah. Do you think she went the other, like, what I would have done is kind of started dressing

in really kind of like, dody, like pink cardigan or like, just like, oh, right. I thought you were a bit, I thought you went, she started dressing in really kind of like dody like pink cardigan or like. Just like, oh right. I thought you meant, I thought you meant like she'd start dressing like in like really bright colors, like looking like a member of, you know, another. K-Pond. And one, I was gonna think new rave, another genre. That burns brightly and then disappeared.

But yeah, or maybe K-Pond. I'm sure. Who's getting into new raves that Clarkson's it's chick chick chick chick They're getting in there Well at my chick chick chick is certainly there that's in in play Yeah, where the Clarkson's new raves definitely new raves. Yeah, yeah That's it. Two bands. Sorry.

Sorry, there we go. Are there any other genres we can think of? It's only two bands. Dip the fire, the, yeah. It's the whole genre. Well, yeah, I imagine there's some new rave heads out. They're going absolutely nuts. Yeah, they're like, the Lars.

They're the first new rave band. The Lars. Oh, OK rap band. The Lars. Oh, okay. Block party being mentioned. Oh, come on. Come on. I don't know about that. They're being banded around by Wikipedia.

You're looking at it. I did look that one up. I did look that one up. Anywho. No, it's a big, it's a big bowl decision of, I get somebody else, especially some of you don't know personally, tattooed on your body, which begs the question, if you have to do it,

who are you doing? Oh, my question. Oh, my question. So, that's where we are. Do we say, select body part? Are we saying, act, body part? Because the thing that's interesting to me is like, I get musicians. I, I, I, I can, Duh, Body Pots? The thing that's interesting to me is like, I get musicians.

I can tell you do, yeah. I just, we're on a similar wavelength, John and me. I rock up to them, I say, what's your genre? You know, oh yeah, okay. If it's not two words, I'm not interested. You need a two word genre mate. Two words, two bands, that's it. The last one, I'll tell you define a genre objective known yeah yeah

yeah is it is is is scall is scallion I mean guess scall scallion is the noun rather than scallion being the noun might be adjective adjective adjective there Another great new Ray band So Yeah, that's what I'm interested in it is I think I think the fact that it's an actor I will come clean on more details about the older HBC ink It was her playing the part of the Queen of Hearts in the Tim Burton remake of Alice in Wonderland. Oh boy. And that makes it a weird choice for me. Yeah. I get the Queen of Hearts tattooed. I'd be like fair play. Yeah.

But then you'd be thinking Disney. Yeah, the Disney or those fantastic drawings from the books themselves, right? Yes. Look pretty amazing. Yeah, why would you go for... Why would you go for Helena Boronka? I mean, you know what? There's got, did she ask about the significance?

Did she check it definitely was her? And not just, it was her auntie or something. Did you, did you, did you, did you, did you all this work going on next door if you can hear a bit of noise by the way? The, did she, did Jane say is that her number on Carter from the movie Alice in Wonderland? No, I don't think she had to.

No, I guess she did. Yeah. It's a very memorable You take one look at the kid in her arms and go well, it's not them. It's definitely Helena Broncarter in No, what she didn't ask was is Helena Bonham Carter your auntie because it could have been Yeah, both of those things. Do you think though, right? If she was your auntie Do you think that's the that's the tattoo you'd get?

I would feel deeply uncomfortable if either of mine... Like, if a nibbling turned up with a tattoo of me in any shape or form, I'm uncomfortable with that. That said, if you said you had a tattoo of your auntie, I wouldn't be... I don't think I'd be surprised by that. I don't think she necessarily like it. Oh, no, no. You wouldn't be surprised if I turned up

and I'd had a picture of my auntie tattooed onto my body. You go, oh yeah, that's classic parry. No one's that classic parry. But I wouldn't be surprised. There's a huge chasm between not surprised and classic parry. I wouldn't be surprised. You wouldn't be surprised if I turned up with a picture of my aunt, an auntie tattooed on my body.

You're very close to your auntie. You love your auntie very much. If you did it, I would think, yeah, I can see why he's done that. There we go. Gosh. Well, he's the one that's getting the tattooed. He's not he's the heroine. I'm not saying I want you to do it.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm still, I'm still alive, Auntie. Because, crucially, hella bon carta is still alive. Yes, yeah, yeah, you're still alive, aren't you? I think you wouldn't go away from that meeting and say to someone, but get that tattoo of his still alive arntie on his body. Yeah, but I do have everything he does to other people.

It's like, all I talk about, all down his calf, he's got a picture of it and it's his arntie. It's his first tattoo. I would find it quite moving actually I think. It's only because I've recently seen your auntie, that's the reason why I saw I saw her recently. I thought, oh you've seen the eye auntie, you don't know which auntie I'm getting yet. Oh hello. Well the I would be surprising if it was the auntie that I hadn't seen recently. That's okay, I'll amend that. The auntie I saw in the last week of yours, I would not be surprised if you got a tattoo of her.

I'm not saying I'm expecting you to do it. I would be surprised. And it would be me getting the tattoo. Yeah. I'd come out and go, I can't fucking believe I've just done that. Yeah. I wouldn't be. You'd be like, oh, of course.

I'd say yeah, yeah, I think it's very, I think it's very, I'm actually very proud of you for doing it. I'm quite, I'm sort of, I'm made up for you. I'm delighted. Clarky, what, how are you dealing with it? I would say Clarky, if I were you, stay out of it. I am getting the same tattoo. It's solidarity.

I'm going to go on record now and say, if either of you rock up with a tattoo of your still alive auntie, I'm going to be surprised. I'm going to be very surprised, in fact. Yeah. I'd go so far to say amazed. We don't have aunties that are nice as your auntie though. It's true. What about if I got a tattoo of your auntie? I mean, there's lots of people in my life who I think are really, really nice and who I'm very, very close to and who I love dearly. But I'd say well none of them are getting a tattoo on my car. I don't care how nice they are, like some people are exceptionally nice to me.

I'm telling you because you've got Helen and Abon of a Carter on both of them. It's just so rude. The car's base left. You've got a wrap around that too. Yeah, no, okay, fair enough, fair enough. Well, I guess time will tell. How's BD? Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? How's BD? So, what actor are you guys getting and where? I think for me, I know, I don't know if you, how you feel about this, but I'd be interested

to put an extra spin on it, which is, which still alive actor, because it's, I think that's part of what makes this quite juicy. Yes, is Bonham Carter could turn around and do anything in the next few years? Oh, that's what you're thinking. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. Someone who got like a morose tattoo might be going, I'm regretting this now considering what's come to light in the last few years. That's why you're on anti such a safe bet. You know she's a safe bearer hands.

Is that the reason you weren't going to tattoo of your auntie because you could do anything in the next few years? Because this is changed. I mean, I like you now, but I swear it goes. I take you on one day at a time, like I do all people. I like to do a lot of memes of my family, yeah? Like, if you're going to get a tattoo of someone still alive on your calf, I think you've got

to take any element of being a wild card. And the bottom Carter, even the chance of being a wild card. Like look at even like, you know, Keir Starmer's got big eight hanging over him. You think like, you go 12 months ago, you'd be like, look, okay, if I have to play it safe, so I'm just putting the full back here, tattooing. You're not going to come up, you know. I'm like, you just, all I'm saying is it's going to be someone... You know, I'm an un-un-un-un-impeachable, someone you hope is going to be un-impeachable for us.

Well, here's Trump, but I get Trump. No, no, no, I don't be like that. Yeah, but, well, here's the thing, then I get Trump. No, no, no, no, I don't be like, I think. Yeah, but, but, but,. On a summer's day when you're wearing shorts, what a delight for the other people on the bus. What a treat. What role? Well, here's the thing. The new insurance advert she's doing.

Yes, that's it. Is that weird? You know what as well? Got it, because you know who was down to the last two. Her or your auntie Yeah, if you're auntie you've got it. Of course your auntie is you're shooting from a favorite actor But yeah, okay Can I go can I go regal again? Can I go can I go shake spring love?

That's gonna come across as a very patriotic tat Isn't it that's a tricky one because then it's like, who's the tattoo of? Is it? Well, that's what exactly where we are with HBC and the Queen of Hearts, you say. Crossbees turn at a very nice copycat tat there. Yeah, that's the Queen of Hearts.

I've played it close to my chest, I feel. Which, when you're short, it's me, the cows are both of the chest. I'm going to say you're going to be close to your chest. I've been doing yoga, I should mention that. I feel which when you know what was me the cars are both of the chefs I've been doing yoga. I should mention that I'm really much more limbo used to me People can't see this but I've actually got both my legs locks behind my head while I'm recording this I think I need a little bit more blood to my brain actually I tell you what he pre-stattied down your ribs

right turn my ribs. If you had DENCH as the Queen in Shakespeare in Love, you could say as a tattoo, it's like a nod to getting maximum reward for as little work as possible. I like, you could give it like some kind of... You could that. Yeah. You could have it like some kind of you could that. Yeah. You could have it like that. Yeah. It shows up for seven minutes. Boss is it. Yeah. Gets the gong. And then on the other car, if you could have a tattoo of yourself in Shakespeare in love for some of us to your. That's right. Yeah. You're award award winning screen performance.

Yes. Exactly. Exactly. What would that look like? Would it be a crowd scene and then just a large red arrow pointing into the middle of the crowd? Yeah, I think it would have to be. Otherwise, I mean, you know what, maybe not the red arrow, maybe it's a little treat for the kids to play, where's Wally, but with Dad? Hey, do you know what? How long were you on screen for in Shakespeare in love?

I would say... So they got an arm, I would say... So the Gotten Arm... I would say the... Dense got... Dense got seven and a half minutes and got an Oscar, right? Something like that, yeah, yeah. So you... Maybe you could have been in line for a...

People's Choice Award? Thank you for that. Yeah, I was well, I was in the crowd while Stench was on the stage. So I was definitely there, you know, I mean I've been technically on camera for the whole of that But I was in that scene. So I've already got her seven, right? Yeah, that's sorted And I was also in a I was in a corridor scene as well. So oh Here we go. Maybe maybe I've, maybe I've got a couple more. You've got more scenes in the next one.

I thought if you can claim the full seven, because it's not just a shot of the crowd, whilst Detch doesn't work. That would have been an insane Oscar to give. You can't be seen, can't you? I have seen you. I think I've seen you. I can be seen, can't you? I have seen you. I think I've seen you. I am in there.

I can be seen in two different scenes, yeah. But, yeah, I mean, it's not the tour de force, but I'm much, much younger. I don't have experienced the dentshad. It's not the tour de force that Dentsch gives when she's performing as close as it was with. So you're doing the Shakespearean Love Doubler. Drench on one calf. Yep, crowding with me in it on the other calf. And then some kind of like quite kind of gangster motto underneath Drench saying like,

get paid, work less or something. Yeah. That's just good to say. Good to say, get paid, work less. or something. Yeah. That's what I'm going to say. I'm going to say get paid work less. That's always been my problem because as soon as I get paid for a job, I take a month off

and then I have to work. So what it turns out is get paid work less, have to work a lot more. Get fired more. Get paid work less, get fired. And then on the other calf. Where's Daddy? I'm happy, I'm happy with my choices. Oh, thank you so much.

Thanks man, I'm happy with it. Yeah. Clarkey, what are you thinking? It's tricky. It is tricky. I mean, you're not tricky. That's, that's great, great choice. Well, obviously for me, it's a great choice. It's a great choice. What role? Oh, no, you're asking Tom.

Young master. Rush hour two. That's a shower two, yeah. And when you say full back, Glocky, you haven't got a full back. So yeah, full back right below the buttocks. Are you hoping in the same way that, in the same way that bald men wear glasses to try and break up their face? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you hoping that Chan full back

will help suddenly defying your your your your back area? Yeah, totally. He'll be he'll be karate chopping, but he'll be cleaving my butt up. Oh my god, that's that's a great. That's a really good tattoo actually. Chan karate shopping into your crack. Yeah. Yeah. Where in his famous taxi day. Go Going for it. Love it. That's a great. You know what you've done very well there as well. Thank you. Thank you Two good choices. Parry What are you thinking? Well, I mean, I guess

well, I think the things The thing we're getting to here is, are you playing the person or the, like, are you inking the person or the role? That is like, that's the ultimate question for this woman. Because you don't want to be down the line having to be a party and go, look, it's him in House of Cards. LAUGHTER It's... I admire that, yeah.

Okay. Like, do, there is a world where this woman went into her tattoo parlour and said, give me the queen of hearts from Onis and Wendon. Fel asleep. The tattoo artist had happened to watch the remake three nights ago and said, oh oh here we go. Yeah, I've got it for you.

Don't worry, in fact, lie on the table, pop these headphones on. You know, what's a bit of, what's a bit of telly here? You are going to absolutely love this. Have you seen big fish? I'll pop that on the DVD player for you. How do you feel about the remake of Planet The Haves? I love it. Here you go. You know, there's every chance basically.

Have a meeting! I've said it once before, but it bears a repeat. Have a meeting! It's fall. And you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon.

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Product availability varies by region. See you at for details. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her coast of freedom at a lot for it. It's nonstop bonkers brilliance. I love that.

Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th. Do you know what, right? In that role, she's got like a very enlarged forehead, doesn't she? Is that right? Yes. Do you think it was just Helen,

Helen a bottom-carter, but because of the shape of the car. It was amazing. I'm going to get, I'm going to get Helen a bottom car tattooed on my car. I'm also biting a pellet on it's a big day for me. New year, new me. She starts working out. Gets those diamond calves.

It started out as Helen a bottom car. A roof fight club and she's at the side on way through to Alice and Wonderland, basically. You could have to even around with some cancels. Okay, okay. Well, that could be a way to go, right. I could have Christian Bale tattooed on my stomach. He could expand and contract with me. He could eat to the rules. He's never going to be in the mechanic again.

I hate being the guy who's the right actor. He's the machinist. He's not going to work with me. I tell you what, you can't get quicker. I'm loving to eat, man. That's the reason. That's the reason you've changed the oil so quickly. It's top for a bloody sandwich mate.

He is the mechanic. I think the mechanic is probably a Jason Statham movie. I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. Most statham did the remake today. Refuse to look, if, put on more weight. The eight Christian Bale.

It's stuck in the neutral on it. Just snaps him in the opening sequence. But you know, not way then, Bale could transform into all his various roles over the course of my, you know, I mean, journey. Yeah, you're sure. You're ever. You're're ever, I really can't wait for your Batman face, mate. I think Tom, no offense, but you might be better off getting the member of the club family on yours.

You're belly. No offense offense taken. My aunt's a joy on one cuff, the clumps on the other. Off we go. Crosby doesn't bat an eyelid. Crosby goes, oh yeah, no, of course, yeah. What's new? Clocke, you got your hair cut, cos... Oh, I just got a bit of a clark,

he's got a short back in his eyes, but no. It's weird, you got a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit.

I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit.

I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask you a bit. I'd like to ask that's nice. So, I've got two for you. You can tell me which one is the strongest to go for. Okay. Either Leslie Nielsen in any of the naked gun as Dreb in.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You really nice, actually. Yeah. You're going to get OJ next to him as well? No, that's just going to be the top of the side. It's your job. Not even the memories in a wheelchair flying off into the... You're going to get OJ next to him as well? No, that's just going to be the top side. Be sure to. Not even the calories in a wheelchair flying off into the, down the stands into the, especially not that bit.

Okay, so, Drebyn. Drebyn, I can't quite work out which classic kind of trebin thing he could be doing. And then, or Lloyd Bridges, doing the hanky through his ears. Yeah, shots quite good. Because you can't not be cheered thinking of that. Do we still have Lloyd Bridges? Oh, he's eight, oh in fact we haven't got Nils. Lesson Nils Bridges? Oh, he's out there.

Oh, in fact, we haven't got Nilsen. No, Nilsen, they're so nice. They're so nice. It's tricky. What a way to find out. Yeah, I mean, you've been hoisted by your own rules here. Yeah, we've lost Lloyd and we've lost Leslie, I think. Yeah.

Do you think we're gonna get a new hot shot? Oh, because there's a new top gun. Yeah. I'd like it. I would like it. I mean, Charlie Sheen. No, there's a side bit. You don't have a wall shot. You've already got the type of lucky tattoo. Just stick an S on that. Your hashtag winning just above your eyebrow. I've talked about this before, but you know why Dappie from Endubs got a hashtag tattooed under his eye. Why is that?

So he'd always be trending. That's his justification for, yeah, I've got a hashtag on my face so I'm always trending. It's not good, is it? It's not good enough that. I mean, it doesn't, it's not good. Yeah, and crucially it doesn't. Doesn't scare an actor, so he can't pick it. And fortunately, and I know which, I know which iteration I've dappied I'd get personally. I know.

He's a photo, it's all thanks there in the back of my mind. I'll tell you that much. Yes. Yes. Right. So, you've picked unfortunately two people who've passed. Now, you've not gone for, and I think, I think we've made great choices. Good choices.

I think reasonably, you've not gone for hanks who I know you love, cosmen who I know you love. Yeah. I was in the same spot. Both still with us. I would say one, a safer bet than the other. But who knows? Yeah.

Hang on a minute, you're talking about the two sandest, sandest cards in the past. I'm not saying, you know, I'm not saying that there's a sniff around either of them, but I was gonna say if I had to put serious money on it, I'm back in Hanks all the way. I think any, any, any say down the wood.

Has Tom Hanks invented a machine that's going to take all the oil? I have to go to the ocean. No, he hasn't. So he has. Yeah. Sure. He's wasting his time. Hanks could talk a good game. Yeah, he could talk a good game, but who's actually saving the

future of the planet? Costar and his brother. Although, cost of the planet? Costarine's brother. What about you? Costarine's brother. Yeah, Costarine's brother. Costarine's brother who invented this machine, yeah. Costarine's brother. What an each calf.

And if you bring your legs together, it's like they're shaking hands with each other. Yes, Farry. They clean all the oil from out my house. Oh. Um, I am. Can I clean all the oil from out my ass? I am... I'm sure. I'm just going to find a way, but I don't want the answer. I'm trying to find a way to surprise Crosby basically.

I'm going to start pushing the boat out with these tattoos. Hey, it's not going to be an oiled. All I'm saying is Tom. I'm an actor. Yes. Yes, you are an actor. Well, I've got a self-tape to be today and I don't want to do it. You got to.

What's that on your chest? Did you not see the full the tyres advert? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh boy, it's a classic. If I had a, what if I had Hank's and Kostner on each knee. Yeah. People are going to enjoy that, aren't they? Yeah. Well, that was, that was, Knee's are a good one as well because, er, Ozzy Osborne's got two smiley faces that he did himself on his knees to cheer him up when he's on the loo.

And er, okay. And that's, there youo. And, okay. And that's a good one, isn't it? You can have a psychological chat with Hank's and Kostner whilst you're on the toilet. I'm off to meet Hank's and Kostner. Ah, I don't mind that. Yeah.

I don't mind that at all. Excuse me, where's your loo by the way? I'm off to meet Hank's and Kostner. Great. Get the other, I'm gonna to meet Hank's and Kostner great Fish that out Kostner Rolls I would say Tati Donny rolls I'm getting tati-dolly rolls. Christian, we always do. Christian, you're down on the rolls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, Coster's got to be Robin Hood, right? Yeah. I was on that because Wales Draft Day where he plays the CEO of the Cleveland Browns. But I don't think that's Robin Hoods. Robin is a better one. That's what I can image.

The Prince of Thieves, yeah. What the CEO of the Cleveland Browse. Draft day, draft day. Oh, it's the Cleveland Browse. Because you do say I'm off to meet the CEO of the Cleveland Browse. Don't you want to pop into the lead as well? Currently. Currently, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So maybe it works. I'm off to have a chat with the CEO of the Cleveland Brown. Don't mind it. Yeah, I like it. So you're going for Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Again, good, you know, because it's like Queen of Hearts. It's a sort of established character. What about Hank's staring up towards my

arsehole saying Houston we have a problem. And he has to sling shot all the way back right my legs. Oh yeah. He had to use Tom's gravitational pull to get him back. It's a sling shot background to the other side. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if you got that. I know, it's very little I can do to surprise you. Surprisingly unflappable today, something I don't know what it is,

but when it comes to you and the ink, there's a lot to shock me. At the top of, yeah, at the top of my ass, there's a, there's hanks and then there's a little diagram that slingshot him all the way down the car, round my arntie and all the way back. In a Apollo 13 trajectory, waving to Costa as he goes past. Cosby, not doesn't even, doesn't even, 12. Part for the course of Paris. You've noticed how it's classic Paris, sure. But it doesn't shock me. Clarky, Crosby wouldn't even take his earphones out. New Rafe, Blair in a way.

Wouldn't even press pause on the chick, chick, chick. Who would though? Who would? You can't, can you really? You can drop my glow sticks. The whistle wouldn't fall from my mouth. LAUGHTER No six. The whistle wouldn't fall from my mouth. LAUGHTER I mean, that's my fault for approaching your middle rave.

Like, if I've gone to the extent to get all those tattoos done, don't try and surprise the crossbuy when he's in the zone. Tom, listen to the song that's playing. It's not over, not over, not over yet. This time goes till one o'clock, and then we'll have a chat afterwards in the taxi home. Matthew wasn't surprised but he was very loved up. Really enjoyed my tattoo. Please don't, please don't lick him at tattoo.

It's my auntie, show some respect. I think I've got off with Auntie Joy last night. my auntie show some respect. Oh God, I think I've got off with Auntie Joy last night. Okay, well I feel like at least now we know, at least now we know where we're going. At least now we know. At least now we know. We know a lot of stuff. My two favourite actors are dead.

Something. I'm not going to lie to you, parents, but a tough record for you, hasn't it? This hasn't been the easiest show you had to record. Next thing you'll be telling me, the zoo tons of broken up, bloody hell. I think that's still okay, can I, are they? Surely, yeah. Surely they are. I mean, well, there's been obvious reunions, but I Don't think they'll be us now still be oh my god. There's point not Roger's on tour

No, no you raise your bar that you're a legend. What are you talking about? There's a ton's of fantastic Fantastic yeah, okay Listen, I mean I think me and Tom would say it's great. I think if you've got if you've got the classic songs and you're still willing to play them you're a great band. Absolutely. What an ending. Words of encouragement What's the encouragement for the Zutons from Matthew? You're very welcome. How's Bt? What the worst thing you've considered eating? How's Bt?

Oh, there you go! There you go. I hope you have fun with everyone. If you've been affected by any of the issues in today's episodes, if you remember the Zutons member of the Zutons, yeah, if you're a member of the Zutons, or Helena von Carter, or you have a tattoo, oh, you know what, I'd love it if any of our listeners have got or know of people who have living actors tattooed on their body. I'd love to know. Surely there's got to be somebody, somebody out there, send us some picks, yeah, have a Harley Quinn or something like that, you know, Surely there's gotta be somebody. Somebody out there. Send us some picks.

Yeah, have a Harley Quinn or something like that. Surely there's gotta be someone. That's the other thing as well. If you get into that realm of cartoon characters and people from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the character overrides the actor, right? Yeah. If you've got Harrison Ford his hand solo, it almost doesn't matter what Harrison Ford does,

it's still hand solo, right? Yes, yes, exactly. It's not Indiana Jones who crushed that plane and killed all those people. It's Indiana Jones, right? What we're probably saying a couple of things. Of course, of course. Now a few listeners and quariries have also been flooding in. So I just wanted to let people know that the choral

are currently on tour, but it's a book tour. They've released a book called The Making of the Day, but you album. So they're releasing the book, and they're also doing a book tour. An intimate evening of conversations and music with James Shelley and Nick Power. So there you go. Yeah, I put a lot of into that.

So that's gonna be a good, that's gonna be a good evening. Where are they playing anywhere close by? Anywhere close by to London or Exeter? Australia? It seems quite, it's quite, it's quite, it's quite, it's quite, quite Northern,

it's very Northern actually, yeah. I don't think they're coming further south and learning to inspire actually. There we go, right? Okay, fair enough, well I'm willing to travel. So yeah, do you get yourself tickets? There we are, do we have a ticket in the show notes? Surticketly, get the show notes to the show! If you want to go and see the car on their book tour,

should be a good laugh. Possibly you might see myself and Clark at the Leonard's Spar one. You know, we'll be in the queue, but don't make it about us if you do see us there. It really is about the... Are you back to the future, the muscling? Yeah, yeah. That's unbelievable.

Yeah, I'm in fact in Clark, he's probably not Australia. That's how, that's how much I'm squeezing you out. Despite the fact I'm going to be not Australia. That's how much I'm squeezing you out. The fact that I'm going to be seeing real coal. He's going to be swimming in the carol. Basically, whilst Clarke is abroad, you can't support us live. Throw that support behind Mystics Care. In all its incarnations.

Please do. Yeah, don't forget the Patreon and, oh, just really, really quickly, if you're listening, the person who gave us a very lovely note to say how much they had been helped by the podcast, they passed it in, Flatshek's slam down, I'll ask recording with Helen Bauer and Nina Conzi, which is coming out soon.

They gave us a really lovely note and it meant the world to us. They didn't even name, we didn't want to say anything during the live show, because they were in the room. But you know who you are, and it means the world. Thank you so much for saying that, and the feeling is very mutual. Absolutely right. Thank you very much. And also the Clarksons are on indefinite hiatus since 2014. As soon as they write that book.

I hate to work. As soon as they write that book, wait to it. Soon as they, you and Clark, you and Clark, you're not gonna be able to worry about that. I know it's a schlech for you, Harry, so I wouldn't insult you by inviting you. All right. It's in Exeter, they're gigging in Exeter.

It's the only place they're gigging. It's one night in Exeter. It's the other side of Exeter. It's in me to get in there. It's gonna be so sore, youging. It's one night and it's the other side of Exeter. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there.

You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there.

You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there.

You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. You're too mean to get in there. I have to be transported around like Auntie Hopkins in Science and the Lands, which is a packed tattoo that I'm severely regretting. Who knew it was going to turn bad though? No, not Hannibal Lecter Surely, come on. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham Team! Great to have you back Emma! Cheers everyone! Bye! Bye! Please pray be upstanding for the Patreon neighborhood watch, Rockall! I danced around until I felt kaput and shot myself in front of Sam you all foot.

Oh, boy. Yes. And as I lay there I was dying. I looked up and who should be there, but William Ryan. And then I looked up into the sky. I saw a heron passing by. The shay... LAUGHTER What are you doing? I'm not doing for a bad man. What are you doing? You naughty heron. You should be down here with Sarah Barron.

I was starting to die and then I shite myself. I thought, let's stop that, I'll take some memorodium. Thank you for passing it to me, Crypto Sporidium. And as the... And as the EmoDium went through my system, uh, Crypto-Speridium smiled at me, I said, where'd you get this Emodium from? He said, I bought it from Jimmy P. And there I was, looking down at my stool, I said, gosh, look at that roll! And there I thought I'd watch the play Hamlet, but instead I died in the arms of Ryan Hamlet.

The rest is simply so. That concludes today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll call. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes! Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot more. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things.

It's the like theaters, December 15th.