Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Corporate Gliding) S14E33

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Tom, Ben and Matthew slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. We have a reboot in the works and it'll be tri-gliding into your corporate cinemas very soonCome and see Flatshare Slamdown live23rd September Flatshare Slamdown with Ania Magliano and Michael Odewale - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/flatshare-slamdown-with-ania-magliano-and-michael-odewale-tickets-100640966740724th September Flatshare Slamdown with Celya AB and Jin Hao Li - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/flatshare-slamdown-with-celya-ab-and-jin-hao-li-tickets-100641271652723rd & 24th September do the double bubbler ticket offer - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-on-september-23rd-and-24th-tickets-1006415996337Cheerful Earful - 20th October - https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-show-20th-oct-ticketsPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hello, I'm Jess Milton and I'm delighted to welcome you back to Season 4 of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe, launching Friday, September 6th. Every week this fall, we'll have some gems for you from Stuart McLean and the Vinyl Cafe. They'll be Dave and Morley stories, plus Stuart's essays, postcards from Canada, and more from the Story Exchange. Subscribe for free wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Greetings listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another

exciting episode. Please, please welcome. Pleased to meet you fellas. Ple please to meet you fellas please to meet you guys it's a house meeting oh yeah how's meeting how did you get this gig I just answered an advert in a paper it's the first time we met kind of feeling right I see it's not it's not it's not I thought when you said pleased to meet you guys like you're saying it to the audience I mean, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not. It's not. I thought when you said, pleased to meet you guys, I thought you're saying it to the audience. I didn't know you're saying it to us. I thought that's quite a nice way to, ah, pleased to meet you. And also crucially, well, we are the way I do like to meet people where I record a podcast, they listen to it and never the twain. So yeah, just to say guys, if you would like to be,

if you would like to be in the same room as Tom and get to meet him in real life, then why not come along to a Pappy's Flat Share Slamdown? They are selling pretty fast, I have to say. They're good lineups. They're selling pretty fast. They're happening this month, 23rd and 24th of September. Monday 23rd of September is Antio Magliano and Michael Odewale. And Tuesday, September 24th is Celia AB and

Jin Hao Li. All fantastic acts. Wow, Lee. All, you know, all hot, hot, hot, I would say. They're all hot acts that you all want to go and see. So yeah, come along. It's at the Phoenix and Cavendish Square. If you are a member of the Patreon, you can get discounted tickets. You get a promo code for discounted tickets. But even if you're not and you'd like to come to both Patreon, you can get discounted tickets. You get a promo code for discounted tickets. But even if you're not and you'd like to come to both shows, you can get discounted tickets. There's a special link.

All of this is at pappyscomedy.com forward slash live. pappyscomedy.com forward slash live. Get yourself there. What a website. One forgets that we have a website. Do you? Yeah, I really do actually. I don't. I update it all the time. Have we got any cool features on the website? Well, I tell

you what, let the listener go to pappiescomedy.com and decide. It's basically just a big link tree now. I'm going to start engaging with that website this year. Are you? Yeah, yeah, that's in what way what you gonna do? You're gonna I'll be visiting it most days Okay, make it your home page and not having a little look around. Yeah Maybe I'll be putting in some cool new features Back in the day you'd live and die by your website wouldn't you? Yes, it's all done They just don't really need to exist now apart from it's quite useful to have all of our live dates together. It used to be a thing, it used to be very exciting. You'd go onto a website and then have a loading page. It would be loading up to 100%. Loved it.

It'd be like, oh my god have you seen Sew and Setters website? They've got a designer in. They've done some cool stuff here. They've got a designer in. They've done cool stuff here. They've got noises when you click on things and stuff. Yeah, absolutely. The cursor would be like the face of the person. That was like that kind of thing. This is the kind of thing that you can expect coming to our web page. This year.

Listen, guys, if you go to our web page from, obviously, it's currently live. But if you go to our webpage from, I mean, obviously it's currently, it's currently live, but if you go to our webpage, you know, in the next few days, there will be a little penguin doing a backflip with the silencers under construction. For the whole of 2025. And then Tom has got big plans. And you know what it's like when Tom has big plans for anything to do with anything to do with Pappies, always get executed they always always get done guys so look forward to a brand new web presence I'm gonna put our website under construction then teach myself coding and it's not gonna come from under being under construction until I can fix it I love that that's that's that's why it's gonna get I can fix it. I love that. That's the way it's going to go.

Tom, I respect that so much. I really do. Thank you. And if it was coming out of anybody else's mouth, I'd believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. Okay. Well, anyway, look forward to exciting things coming to the website in 2025. Can we really push the flat slams rather than pushing the website guys? Oh yes, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. Patpiscomedy.com forward slash live. If you've never been to a live flat share slam down before, there really is absolutely nothing like it. They're electric evenings of comedy. We would love you to be there. We'd love you to come along. So please do come along. Anya and Michael on the

Monday 23rd, Celia AB and Jin How Lee on the 24th Come along. Yes, and if you've never been to a live website before obviously Puppies comedy.com seem to be under construction. Anyway, we'll construct it live on the night That's why it's gonna be so amazing to come along. We we haven't done that as a topic Tom Ben We need to increase our web presence. Right, listen, if you can, if you do teach code, please come along to one of those records and approach me in the bar afterwards, please. That's the 23rd and the 24th of September in England's fair capital London. In the meantime let's crack into this house meeting which as soon as it finished we all looked at each other and said yes

that's the one. That's the one that we have to put out this week because that's the one we've recorded. Enjoy! Why on earth am I always weeping? House meeting! Who wet my bed while I was sleeping? Let's have a house meeting! What's the point? Does life have a meaning? House meeting! I'm recording locally. You're recording locally but thinking globally aren't you? Always. That's our new slogan.

Record locally, think globally. That's how you are. That's our new slogan. Record locally, think globally. It's not, it's good corporate slogan that is actually. What's that? Are we, we can't call ourselves a corporation yet, can we? I don't, you know what? Now you say it out loud, I don't know what a corporation is. No. I was hoping you two would lead me through this. I was about to say I didn't, but now I'm going to hazard a guess and say, go on, go on. You tell us

what you think a corporation might be. I think a corporation involves, it's a family of companies under one umbrella is what makes it a corporation, not a company. That makes sense. I think. I think. If you work in the corporate sector, you work for a company that is owned by several other companies. That's what I'm going with.

Although now that you've described it as the corporate sector, I've lost faith in my definition. I think you're thinking of the word cooperation and corporation as being sort of like linguistically similar. And you're thinking, oh, I think it's a big. But I'm also thinking about what corporations are. What are corporations, though? A collection of companies working for one number. Like what are the big corporations like?

What? Well, like Mars isn't like isn't like Mars, like Mars like a planet? Mars is Mars' planet. Oh shit, okay. It's within the solar system. Always Mars with you man. The solar system is the corporation. That's right, yeah, the solar system is the corporation, Mars is the planet. Mars is a company.

Yes, but then they have like other groups under them. Yeah, like Nestle would be a corporation and then Smarties is a company and a product. Wait, is it only to do with chocolate? Is that the, have I been misusing it this entire time? Do people work in the corporate center? Are they basically working for Willy Wonka? Are they in Palumpa's corporate shills?

What else could it mean? Then let's find out. No, let's not find out. Let's crack this together. Yeah, yeah, no, no, of course. Let's get our best minds on the case. Have we got anyone else available? Is it to do with the structure of a company? But again, what does that mean? This is going to be absolute torture for certain people to listen to this. If there's a board of directors, yeah, it's a company. Okay, if there's a CEO, it's a corporation. Oh, I don't mind that. That sounds almost as good

as the other one. What does CEO stand for? Chief something officer. Corporation excellent officer. Yeah. Corporation excellent officer. The CEO is a corporation excellent officer. That's what makes it a corporation. And so if a board of directors, so if we are a board of directors. I'm bored of directors.

Yabbering on all day about whether I've given them any profit or not. God damn Michael Bay. It's a no again. You know which director I never get bored of? Go on. Do you remember McG? No.

Who was McG? Who was McG? He was just a guy called McG. He directed movies. I think he directed Charlie's Angels, but he was just called McG. Wow. Yeah.

Well, I certainly never got bored of Charlie's Angels, but he was just called McG. Wow. Yeah. Well, I certainly never got bored of Charlie's Angels. No way. No way. Two? Two re- has it had a reboot or two? Almost almost certainly. Yeah. I mean, the, the, the, our Charlie's Angels was a reboot.

Oh, I thought you were going to talk about us doing Charlie's Angels. It's about time there was a male reboot of Charlie's Angels. This is what we need to do, you know, because people get very upset about the sort of the, you know, they got very upset about the all female Ghostbusters. Then they got very upset about the old child Ghostbusters. So isn't it about time we sort of redressed the balance and took some things that were often kids or women and we put ourselves in the role. I think of Thelma and Louise where you and Clarky drive off a cliff in a car. Hold on, why are you nominating us to drive off the cliff, mate? I'm the car man.

You are literally the car man! You're... look... You are literally the car man. It's three... it's actually three of us going off the edge of a cliff on a hang glider. So it's a happier ending. Oh, okay. No, but then the twist is we can't hang glide and we die. I reckon anyone can hang glide. It's actually more tragic. Because there's anyone...

We're not even being chased. We just all buy a hang glide together on eBay. By the way, I've never heard better last words that I reckon anyone can hang glide. Yeah, really good actually. Top of the mountain. Oh come on, how hard can it be? I reckon anyone can hang glide. I do reckon anyone can hang glide, genuinely.

I don't think there's any skills of hang gliding. There's got to be. Why? What are you doing? Where you were steering, what are you doing? Yeah, but okay, all right. It's the same as a plane, right? No, it's not the same as a plane. I think pilots would take umbrage with that. It's not the same. If it was the same as a plane, you'd have to do like,

you know, like all the training and stuff. But there's not those little buttons is a yeah the coke It is when you fly easy jet. All right now, we're carrying. Sorry. Yeah, you have to do it man It was important that you got it out there exactly exactly And I want you to know that that was right there at the start I was just being patient, but it was there like like I saw it on your face I have got great reflexes with getting to an EasyJet line. I did hear it. It's always, it's just, I'm ready to go with it.

EasyJet, company or corporation? Company. Corporation being easy everything. Which doesn't seem to be around, EasyJet's the only one that survived. Do you remember when there was like EasyShops you could go to? Yeah, EasyGliders didn't last very long, did it? EasyGliders. Too easy, that's the only one that survived. Do you remember when there was like easy shops you could go to? Easy gliders didn't last very long, did it?

Easy gliders raised the poles. That's the problem. Anyone can do it, gliders. I think all gliders are easy gliders. Having never hand glid before. If you go hand gliding, you have to go alongside someone who's like steering it for you. No, I wouldn't.

I would never. What's your tactic then? You're running off the cliff. That'd be my first move, yeah. Running off the cliff. Oh, hang on a second. Wait, wait, no. My first move is make sure I'm in the hang glider.

Right. Because the number of people- Well, you've reached B already there. But hang on, hang on. In my head, that means getting into a sleeping bag. Yeah. That's right. So how are you running off the cliff? You're jumping off the cliff. It's like a sack race.

Right. So you're going to get in the sleeping bag, hop to the edge of the cliff... Hop to the edge of the cliff and then do it off. Toes off the edge, just like you would be on a diving board. And then a big push off. It's got to be the right cliff as well. You know, it's got to be plenty of, you've got to have plenty of air. It's going to be nice and high up. And then you aim down.

Whoa, what? That's right. Yeah, you aim down. Right. And then when you catch that, when you catch that pocket, up you go into the stratosphere towards the sun. I reckon I reckon this is fine. Are you catching the pocket? Well, you sort of see where the pockets are.

What are you doing? That does the pocket does the pocket catch you the way you describe it? The pocket catches you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. OK, OK. It's it's it's it's chance. It's not no. Yeah. Oh, my God. You can't leave it to chance.

Well, you're leaving it to a pocket. What is the pockets not there that day? What is the pocket? Have you booked a pocket? You just you can just tell where there's a big pocket of air. You can just see air around. You feel like a floating fagin.

You look at the air. Just picking the right pocket. You're going to pick a pocket or two, Clarky. It's absolutely true. Yeah, you just you look around. You think there's a good pocket. You aim for it. Well, what you what you can't do as well is burst

the pocket with the front of your triangle. Right. So you've got to you've got to land kind of on top of it, like one of those kind of big bouncy balls in total wipeout. Boing, wha, up you go, up into the sky and off. I've got to say, Crosby, at the start of this, I thought you didn't know what you were on about, but hearing you talk about it now. I appreciate that. You've really won me over.

We're ready to sponsor you to do it this weekend. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I think that. You've really won me over. We're ready to sponsor you to do it this weekend. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. I think so. And remember, the higher the cliff, the better chance you've got. The higher the cliff, the better chance you have of survival. I've always said that. There's a sweet pocket waiting for you.

We're prepared to sponsor you in coins that we'll give you before the jump. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Fill that sleeping bag. We've had a hell of a whip round. Everyone was very keen to donate. Absolutely. Hey, has anyone ever done that? When you're doing like a marathon or a sponsored run, the catches you run with all the money that you've collected. Like a Greek wedding that does that where they sort of pin the money to the bride's

dress. You could do that. Have you ever been at one of those where you get money pinned to the bride? No, I've never been to a wedding where you've pinned money to the bride. Is it good? It's great. I bet it's good. It seems really fun. It's great. Cause there's like, there's a sense, like I've got a feeling, I'm trying to think now, I've got a feeling the bride kind of has

a bit of a change of dress, tactically for one that can carry as much money as possible. That's a good call. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Like, I think, I think certainly the one that can carry as much money as possible. That's a good call. Yeah, absolutely. I think certainly the one that I was at, Andrea kind of took on a kind of, like a shawl or something that was like, this is the money getter.

Yeah. And also it adds a little bit of a certain sense of strictly to that first bridal dance because it's a bit like, you know, there's like, put a bit of effort in here. People have got their cash out. Oh, I see. So you do the dance and then you dance around as you're doing your first dance and people go, do you know what? Seven! Yeah, yeah, I mean there's an element of that. Do people, wait, are you telling me that, because when I've been to a wedding before, I've got, if I'm giving money, it's normally John Lewis vouchers, but if I'm giving money,

I haven't got like 500 quid and I go, no, this was a good one actually, peel off 400 and hand it out. I've got a set amount, right? Yeah, but have you ever been to a wedding so bad that you think, do you know what, I'm not giving the card? You sneak your card back. Do you ever wonder why you didn't get your card, Parry? Listen, the speech would be lovely. Is there a Bride of John Lewis nearby? I'm going on a spree. No, no, it's a hand gl Is there a project John Lewis nearby? No, don't tell me. I'm going on a spree.

No, no, it's a hand glider. It's in John Lewis, do you know? Just asking for a friend, I guess. I'll tell you what, just give me a sleeping bag and a kite and I'll be done. Do you know what? That actually, as the moment in Mannequin, that's pretty wild, isn't it? Do you remember Mannequin? The movie Mannequin with Kim Kral? Directed by Mac G, of course. Of course, a famous Mac G joint, yeah.

And there's the bit where he, she hand glides around inside the shopping center. Yes. Do you remember that bit? No, I can't remember that. Pure 80s. It's pure 80s, isn't it? It's like, it's everything, the hand gliding, which felt very off the moment. Yeah. A bit commerce.

It was the travel of the future, wasn't it, in the 80s? It really was, yeah. We were all gonna commute hand gliding, which felt very off the moment. Yeah. A bit of commerce. It was the travel of the future, wasn't it, in the 80s? It really was, yeah. We were all going to commute hand gliding. I thought it felt. Yeah. Every show involved a hand glider at some point. Even Only Fools and Horses had a hand gliding episode. Yeah. You know.

It's kind of a classic shot, isn't it, of like the kind of camera just below the hand glider and a locked off shot back up with fake background behind and just some really good acting going on. Whoa, whoa. That was a good acting to me. Can I, can I, well I've just noticed something guys. Can we all, can we all say the name of the thing we're talking about? Oh, are you not thinking of hand gliding?

Hand gliding? Hand gliding. Is it, is it hand gliding? Hand gliding? Hand gliding. Is it hand or hang? Great question. Because I think we've all been saying hand gliding. Hand gliding I've been saying. Which it can't be. It's got to be hang gliding.

Hang makes a lot more sense actually, I don't know how to say it. But we've all been saying it all the way through. It's not too easy with that. Is it hang gliding? But hang on, and you are, well there's two things at play here. You are hanging off the thing you're gliding on, but you're also holding on with your hands. Yeah. So currently both names are still in play. I've always thought it's hands to be honest. We can agree on gliding. We can agree on gliding. Gliding's locked in. The gliding is not for debate. Okay, so basically for the rest of our lives,

just go slightly quiet at the start of this. I think we'll be able to get through to death. No, I think you can hit the ha. We know it's ha at the start. I think normally I would say hand gliding. Hand gliding. Hand gliding. Hand gliding.

Hand gliding. I think that's normally how it comes out, but I think in my head I'm saying hand gliding. This is a good tactic. We keep the G or the D silent. Yeah. We can find out. I think everyone does.

We never find out. I think everyone keeps the G or D silent because no one's sure. No one's entirely sure. Even some of the top hang gliders in the world. Hang gliders does sound right to me like like you could self cross. Yeah, exactly. You know, when you're there are things that I've there are plenty of things that I've never done that I know I

won't be good at. Hang gliders not one of them. But are you good at hand gliding? Well, this is the question. Imagine I get up to the top of that cliff, and they've got me a hang a hand glider instead of a hang glider. I'm going to be absolutely livid. It's a lot smaller. What do you think's more important the hanging or the holding on? Like if you're hand gliding and you let go, are you still going to be okay? Or if you're hand gliding and you're not hanging on to it, are you going to be okay?

I think you know the answer to that. Don't you? I'm not sure I do. I'm not sure I do either, actually. I think I think I want to be attached to the sail at all times. Yeah, but you don't want to go hands free. I would. How you finding your pocket there? Right. No, I tell you what, I would happily do right.

I would happily, you know, like when I had a bike and I couldn't ride no-handed, I would occasionally take my hands off for a second, put them straight back on the handlebars, right? I would happily do that. Hang on, are you saying handlebars there? Handlebars? Handlebars, yeah, on the handlebars, yeah.

Handlebars, yeah, of course. You'd put yourself onto the handlebars. Onto the handlebars, yes. Yeah, yeah, of course. So I would take my hands off the hangar bar, put them back on very quickly. I would happily take my hands off of the hangar bar of a hand glider, but I would never temporarily be detached from the sail. Right? Is that fair to say? I think you're actually playing it quite safe there. I agree with you.

I'm playing it safe in there. I tell you what... I mean to be fair, not with the amount of loose change you'll have on me. I'm just checking my pockets, that's all I'm doing. I'm just taking my hands off just to... I've just pressed a John Lewis vector into your hands just before you jump. Get yourself something nice kid. No pockets in a sleeping bag. What's this voucher made of lead? Listen, here's a sandwich

for you. Never fly hangry. Anyway, off you go. Oh dear. I actually think we've cracked it there. Yeah, corporations are a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the worst thing you've considered eating? House meeting.

Acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hello, I'm Jess Milton, and I'm delighted to welcome you back to season four of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe, launching Friday, September 6th. Every week this fall, we'll have some gems for you from Stuart McLean and the Vinyl Cafe. They'll be Dave and Morley stories, plus Stuart's essays, postcards from Canada, and more from the Story Exchange. Subscribe for free wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. and monetize their podcasts everywhere, acast.com. I think hang gliding is right. It's hang gliding, isn't it? Despite the fact that the hands play a vital part in the visual. Yeah, but do you know what? The hands play a vital part in so many different forms of transport that I think.

I mean, to be fair, that's very true. I think, you know, I'm not as much. If you've got a pick, though, you'd go with feet, right? Oh, when it comes to transport. Well, I here's the thing. I am I'm an automatic driver, so I'm two hands, one foot. So I'm hands over foot when I'm driving. Head over heels. I'm driving. Head over heels.

I'm absolutely cock-a-hoop about passing my driving test at the age of... But also, if you're automatic, you can drive one-handed far more effectively. I mean, tell that to Charlie. Tell that to him when I try to eat a Mars bar. Say, listen, I've got to do a bit of corporate work here. I've got to check in with the corporate work here. I've got to check in with the corporate sector. Why have you got a jar of change? Sponsor drive!

Yes, you're right. You're right. It is easier to drive one handed. What are you using more of when you're traveling? If you're on a bike, I guess it is the, I guess it is the feet, isn't it? You go nowhere without the feet. Never thought of that before. You've never asked the question of hands or feet, which one's better for transport? That's the great thing about house meeting is that we really get to get into recesses of our brains that we've never been to before, which is quite a lot of our brains. It's almost, it was that thing of like, you only use 20% of your brain. I love that.

Imagine what we'd do. Imagine. If I was on 20%, if I was, if brain was giving me the the older 20% battery warning I would be delighted but no way My brain is doing that thing where it says if you don't find a charger in a second, you're gonna die That's what my brain is doing You can't be running on this for this Well, you you've put you've put low battery mode on for quite a while now haven't you Clarky?

I started off a good now, haven't you, Clarky? Oh, man. It's turned you into... I started off on low battery mode. It's turned you into a good stare, doesn't it? What did you do at the weekend? Put your battery... No, no, the brightness of your phone so dark that you couldn't find how to make it brighter? Yeah, if I made my phone so dark, I couldn't get into it. I couldn't use it.

I was like, I'll conserve a bit of battery here. And just kind of flinched as I was doing it. And then it went. You've got to have a steady hand there. You can't be... I know you were like with the violent shakes early in the morning. You've got to have a steady hand to take that. It's a similar thing to like I turn my TV menus to Welsh.

Just because I was curious what the button did and I was like, oh, it's made everything Welsh now. And then it was like, and now I have to try and get back to English using Welsh. Were you hoping for like 20% Welsh? You were like, ah, surely if you turn it to Welsh you can't English using Welsh. You hope it for like 20% Welsh. You're like, ah, surely if you tell it to us, you can't be all well. I was hoping 20% Welsh when you're only using 15% of your brain though, is way too much. Only 3% of my brain would kick in.

It's gotta be, you know, it's gotta have it in there somewhere. Some kind of muscle memory. I remember doing that with my phone when I was much younger and I had to go, I had to find a forum that just specifically kind of told you like say down one in this menu, press okay, go down two in the next menu, press okay, to get my find my way back. I thought you were just going to learn Welsh in that forum. I'd only set it to American English as well. I was so lost. Sidewalk? What's a sidewalk? I'm sure it's supposed to say colour but where's the you? That's perhaps when I feel most patriotic I think, is if I'm working on a

document and it spell checks me because it's an American spell check system and it tries to make color color nothing gets all they put is not these colors not these colors these colors do not run I've I mean to be fair, same colours isn't it? Yeah, alright fair enough. Not red, white and blue. Blue, white and red! Now have we established, is it in American English, is it hand glider? Well, I think hand glider is a very British thing isn't it? Hand glider sounds like something the Americans would say. hand glider sounds like something the Americans would say. I think a hand glider in British English is like somebody who's a little bit handsy.

You know, like it's a sort of Victorian term for someone who might put their hand on the small of your back. Be careful for Mr Pothlesworth at the dance. He is somewhat... He's something of a hand glider. Yeah, yeah, it's got Bridgon vibes to it, hasn't it? You know, the Duke is, the Duke is something of a hand glider, he'll never be tied down. The hand glide back in the day was a huge, that was, that was, that's all, that's all you could think about when you were dancing with, you know, like, when you finally got to dance with the girl who it was already a bit prearranged

that you were going to dance with them. And so then you start dancing with them and your hands are on the top of their arms. This is Thomas talking about his arranged wedding. So he's got the dance with her, he puts his hand on her, he pushes her out into the crowd and you stick as much money on her as you can. Why the velcro dress? You'll find out. Just gaffer tape. Pincushions for shoulder pads. Now that's a better idea. An adhesive dress and the bride has like a trolley dash.

In fact, bridal trolley dash is a tradition that I would happily try and start where it's like, the bride has three minutes and whatever she gets hold of, she can keep. Bridal trolley dash would be a good TV show. I think that's a great idea. It's a really good idea. You pick the shop that you've decided to have. Oh, I'm just talking about, no, you're at the wedding reception. What? Well, she can mug people. She can take their wallets. For the length of the first dance. She nicks Clarky Sponges, she's like,

I can't do anything with this. Hand it right back. Gets all your loose change. It was meant for charity. Give him back. We're trying to kill him. Oh, by the way, if I've shown up to the wedding with loose change, there's no way you're not making me a piñata. There's no way that I'm not. That's great. You've got bridal, you've got, you know, like the different stages of the wedding.

You've got cutting the cake, you've got first dance, you've got bridal trolley dash, you've got crossbow piñata. That's how it works. Oh, mate. I'm up there, you trust me up, you launch me up to the ceiling. Well, you trust me up. You launch me up to the ceiling. I've got well you hand glider I can't glide into the hang life off the top balcony into a chandelier Paul queues no one asked you to do it

They're just waiting to throw the boot. How easy this is No, not those bags. There's no coins in those, please. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Basically what she can get in the length of her first song. There could even be a slight purge element to it. She's got like a keep and a kill trolley. I'll take your camera, get the other trolley there. No, no, in fact, do invite your uncle to the wedding. Because actually, yeah.

No, no, no, no. The hand glider. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what's going to happen to him. He's going to lose both of them. A bridal purge, and it's like she can all better off for a three minutes. It's less like the purge. It's more like Kill Bill basically is what you come up with. It's more like that.

Yeah, okay. She could just grab as much money and possessions as she wants then I guess would be the thing. Who's possessions though? It'd be quite good fun wouldn't it? Are you bringing things that you don't mind giving up? So it's a toss up between whether or not you get to take your Tees made home or they get it. I guess so.

That feels a bit like a bring them by, doesn't it? It does. It does feel like a great way to get rid of all of your tat rather than it being one of those, you know. Okay. Okay. Well, let's stick. Okay. what about pin the appliance to the bride white dress white goods how did it used to work before money that tradition well

that's it right I think it was white goods. Just like carrying chickens and stuff like that. Pre-money it was toasters. What I'd be like, you know. Yeah, this is a great question guys. Which appliances pre-date money? Great question. I've never thought of that. I've never thought of it before. But there must be a few of them. I'm going to say the laziest player. Table? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah no table just take the table predate money it's a good game of top trumps it's armistop trumps is

what we're playing here. What's he told ya? Oh table of money. Okay you've got the plow that's safe. That's it exactly. No one's taking the butter churn away from you. That is yours. Good luck dancing with it though for the first dance. It's going to be a long jig. How's the jig? Does the jig predate money? Does the jig predate money? Is the jig up? Well, I mean, I guess what you what you deem to be money, are you talking about like coins and notes or are you talking about chickens? I'm thinking chickens.

I'm thinking chickens. Oh, okay. I'm thinking a hoe. I think I think I think animals must predate money. So I think yes. Surely. Yeah, animals predate money. I don't think I yeah, I don't think.

Clark, he's gone deep into thought. He's gone into his mind palace. He's disappeared into his mind palace. Really? What we didn't realize is in his mind palace, he's got stored the order of things. I just, I'm really sorry. I just turned the brightness down on my brain.

Now I just can't, nothing's coming through. I started thinking about Panic at the Disco if I'm honest. The band Panic at the Disco? Yeah, it was the Ho line and I was going to sing Panic at the Disco. Oh, the Bridegroom is a Ho, is that what you're going to sing? Yeah, the Bridegroom is a Ho and then I was like, well, don't do that. Oh, wow. When I hear hoe, the only song I go to is the Thundercats theme tune. Thundercats hoe. They were a corporation, weren't they?

Let's get back to Charlie's Angels, finally. Finally, all male. Finally, we've got there. Our silhouette would be less flattering, wouldn't it, if we were the Charlie's Angels. That's not a good, it's not a good silhouette. I think the main thing about getting cast in the Charlie's Angels reboot is what's your silhouette up to?

Yeah. People would look at our silhouette and be like, what is that? What am I looking at? There's only one person there, is there? I'm just locking the door with clips. I've been absorbed by the silhouette. Like a company into a corporation. There's no place I can stand where I can wear my bit of a silhouette.

If it were for the hand glider I wouldn't know Crossbeam is there at all. Oh my God. Has anyone triple hand glided like, you know, like the kind of tandem that we kind of saw off? Well, that's our opening sequence. Isn't it like the James Bond? We come out. It's a very short film. Triple hand glide.

We never fight the pocket. We can't fight a pocket. Exactly. And the coins start dragging us down. I tell you what, that would be good though, right? It starts with three separate hand gliders all careering into each other. And there's like a big sort of cartoon that got crashed. Next thing you know, there's three of them all on one.

The other two plumb it. And the guy in the main hand glider looks down and goes, oh, those poor fellows. They looks to either side of you and goes, what? And then you're there on either side. Yeah, off we go. Hand gliding. And then as we go, you say, Tom, Ben, what is it, Matthew?

Is it hand gliding or hand gliding? There's only one way to settle this and we all let go. And then we plumb it to our deaths. We all let go to clap. We plumb it to the ground of lauding. We've let go. We all let go to clap. We plummet to the ground of lauding. We've solved it. We should have gone for a hand glider. What a way to go.

Applauding yourself. I mean it's almost certainly the way we will. They died as they lived. Someone's got to do it. Absolutely delighted with themselves. House meeting. House meeting. The socks only useful for putting your feet in.

House meeting. Say it dear, I mean it's not a good idea. absolutely delighted with themselves. Hush meeting! The socks only useful for putting your feet in. Hush meeting! Say it dear, I mean let's stand by it, that was the one. Sorry Tom, can I hear that sentence again? It started with all many different words, did you say it once? Did you say it a few of them yourself?

Did you say that sentence backwards before you said it forwards? Yeah, it's my birthday and poor Simon let me play this sentence. So it's going to go down as a classic I think you'll find. Yeah, yeah, I stand by it. That is the one. That's the one guys. It's a lovely episode. I hope you all agree. Do you know what, that sentence I'd really enjoy. You know when you're watching a video on Instagram or somewhere and they do the subtitles, I'd

love to know what the subtitles would make of it. Yeah, it would be one of those things where it says like, muttered gibberish or something, you know, and it'll often. It's not a bad title. It'll often do that, yeah. Muttered gibberish. So yeah, don't forget guys, Flat Share Slam Down, 23rd and 24th of September.

Andy Magliano, Michael Adewale, Celia A.B., Jin Hao Lee, ticketsfrompappyscomedy.com forward slash live. I think tickets are a tenner, but if you are a member of the Patreon, patreon.com forward slash pappysflatshare, then they are eight quid and it's 17 quid for the ticket for both of them 15 quid if you remember the Patreon. So 15 quid to see both those shows. Oh, what a bargain. Amazing. What's big of bargains. It's absolutely free to visit the website which is www.pappyscomedy.com. That's free

to visit. It's free to visit and there are clickable links to get to our Patreon from there. So I don't know why we're even bothered giving out the Patreon address. Just give out the website address. Get there today, guys. Right. Do you want to know what a corporation is? Yes. Yes, please. Love to. So it is a large company or group of companies authorized to act as a single entity and recognized as such in law. And the example they've given is the Cardiff Bay Development Corporation. So somebody absolutely turned their phone

to Welsh that day. That is the big one. When you think of corporations, we do think about the big ones. Disney, Coca-Cola, Cardiff Bay. Cardiff Bay Development, yeah. Now, there's a couple more good ones here. So the British one, the classic British use of it is a group of people elected to govern a city, town or borough, the City of London Corporation. The other one is, now I like this one a lot, dated, humorous, which let's face it, could sum us up, right? right surely some days we're more from column a column b but we're always both we're dated and humorous and it's it's an expression for can

you guess what it might be or so you've got yourself a bit of a corporation there um is it like a family it's not a family no no it's not a family good No, no, it's not a family. Good answer though. Is it a rash? It's when two rashes form on your side and they join up together, that becomes a corporation. No, it's a paunch. You've got a paunch. Working on my corporation. Finally, we are a corporation. Absolutely, yeah. We may not be a corporation, but we've all got corporations going on. I'm currently in the grips of an aggressive taker. Taking over the top of my trousers.

That was my dad. We used to call his belly his treasury because he worked for Abbey National. He worked in the, he worked for Santander. He worked in the treasury and we always used to, whenever he was having his dinner, we'd always do an impression of him. Mary being my mom, Mary, I want more food for my treasury. My treasury's feeling empty, Mary. But I think now, next time I see him, I say, oh, looking good, how's the corporation?

How's the corporation? Shoo, shoo. Looking good, my friend. Yeah, I love it. A paunch. Okay, well that's corporation put to bed, but now- Corporation the question on every the big question. Are we hanging with Mr. Cooper? Or are we handing out the big answers? We know the answer Tom. you know, like sometimes if you have like, is it, you know, like, what's a good example here? Like, is it there or there? You know, like, you know, it's like, so people, it'll often put it up. If I typed in hand gliding, right? It didn't even come up hand gliding or hand gliding.

It's nothing. It's hand gliding. It's nothing. It's hand gliding. It's nothing. It's hang gliding. Hang gliding. There are two types of gliding. Hang gliding. Hang gliding. It's two words. And paragliding. Paragliding.

But yeah, there's no hand gliding. Although there is. Not yet. Until now. Do you know what? There is a... Watch the website. There's a Facebook group called I Thought hang gliding was actually called hand gliding and

it's got 80 plus followers so there we go operation you're not alone well answers have been found and lots of things we thought about today that we'd never thought about before. Absolutely, things we never thought about before. But if you'd like to get in touch and tell us about things that you'd never thought about before, do get in touch. Especially if you think that it should be that feet or hands are more important. What do you think, guys?

What do you think? And also, listen, dear, have you hand glided? Will you hand glide? What can you tell us about it? Give us your hand gliding anecdotes soon. Today's episode, Ross, you're not gonna give out the email? It's www.pappyscomedy.com, you'll find it on the website. You can actually find it. It's all on the website. It's pappysflatshare.gmail.com. Yeah, but it is on the website. You can email us via our website. Yes, of course.

Yes, so much is going to be on that website. Anyway, today's episode was produced by A Caution. Caution team. Caution team. Cheers everyone. Bye.