Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Friend Cap) S12E39
Episode Date: October 24, 2022Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. Tom's hit his limit, will Ben and Matthew remain in the squad?PAPPY’S FLATSHARE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WITH JAMES ACASTER, ATHENA... KUGBLENU AND LOU SANDERS!Sunday 11th December 2022, 5:30pm, 21Soho, 3-5 Sutton Row, London, W1D 4NR, UKTickets here: https://www.tickettext.co.uk/IAXE4Nbt08Discounted tickets available from our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/73714148 As a Christmas treat, Pappy's are bringing TWO of their hugely popular podcasts to 21 Soho for one, very special, festive recording with very special guests James Acaster, Athena Kugblenu and Lou Sanders.Pappy's Flatshare Slamdown is the anarchic live panel show in which host Matthew Crosby sets silly games for team captains, Ben Clark and Tom Parry, to play. They are joined by their funny friends from the world of comedy and beyond. Expect present giving, carol singing, and advocaat glugging. For this episode Pappy's will be joined by their pals Lou Sanders (Taskmaster, Unforgivable) and Athena Kugblenu (Mock The Week, News Quiz)Beef Brothers Cold Cuts sees Ben, Matthew and Tom sit down with a guest and attempt to solve any problems their audience might have with their flatmates, partners, roomies, neighbours or pets. Trying to make sense of your festive beefs for this show will be the very lovely James Acaster (Off Menu, Hypothetical)If you’d like to donate to the Children’s Hospital Pyjamas appeal, the easiest way is to visit their Amazon wishlist page:https://tinyurl.com/kmh2dpsfMore details are available on their website and social mediawww.childrenshospitalpyjamas.co.ukhttps://www.facebook.com/Childrenshospitalpyjamas/https://www.instagram.com/childrenshospitalpyjamas/https://twitter.com/pyjamasmiles19#SpreadingLoveThroughComfort Registered Charity No: 1185739Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman plotting her course to freedom at in that book.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's like theaters December 15th.
Greetings, listener gear, I'm Tom.
I'm Ben.
And I'm Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode
of Papi's Flat Share House Meeting.
Yes, we did.
Yes.
Consent, we're good to know.
We've kept the same names.
It gives us a real continuity, I find.
Tom Ben Amathit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's going to, I think actually we should keep on in this way.
Well, the thing is we, because we love a new name for a thing.
We've never, you know, like I think that,
the only continuity we've really got is our own first names.
I can, I can see the appeal, you know, like,
like the Bayou-esque kind of chapters in your life.
Like if I came on next week and was like,
hello, I'm bald Ralph!
And it'd be like, my bald Ralph years have begun.
And it's like, what's bald Ralph all about?
And it's like, oh, he's got a strong vibe.
He's bald for starters.
No, bald, he's bald.
Oh, he's bald, sorry, right?
Oh, sorry.
I'm Tom, I think already we've got problems here with you
Being bold and calling yourself bold Ralph because it does sound like you say I should have marked research
Bold people are gonna just it's gonna be a nightmare. You're gonna get a lot of people calling you bold Ralph
And you're like no, I'm not I mean luckily
Ralf is also bald
The old bulldy baldy
Luckily Ralph is also bald. The old baldie baldie.
Well, I do well. I think if I was going to have a bowiesque,
you chucked it to my life. Maybe one of them would involve plugs.
I'm hairy, John!
But just on the backs of your hands.
Have I plugs in the inside of my body?
You can have plugs anywhere, presumably, right?
There's nothing stopping you.
People, it's a good point.
Conventionally, because you know what,
if I were to get plugs, I would get the top half
of my chest done.
Because I do have, like, I would say,
from the nipples downwards, I've got hair, man,
I'm doing all right, I've got nice, Nice hairy sort of, nice hairy lower pecs.
Nice.
You've got a stomach full of testosterone.
Certainly do.
Well, actually a lot of people say that it's testosterone that causes you to go bald,
isn't it?
It's...
Tell me about it.
So, bald Ralph, he's just two tocks.
testosterone makes you both bald and bold, doesn't it?
So Ralph is so toxic, he's so
chock full of toxic masculinity that he's completely bald.
Oh really?
Oh wow.
He looks almost like the grays, you know, from Area 51.
You think of that like, you think of that like,
fin diesel, Bruce Witt. The Bruce will rock Malchovic the rock
the bitch don't lose
Malchovic
all those
Michael's diet because they're all interesting fasting
food
all the big guns.
Yeah, all the old action guns.
Of course.
It's too much test.
Well, that's them in the spotlight losing their hair.
They are the spotlight.
They're light spouts and off it.
Anyway, I'd like to be on the two wear an unbuttoned shirt and it not to look like I'm completely
bald in the chest area.
So if I was going to get plugs anywhere at the top of the chest, but we're not here to
discuss that.
Is it a way of you just, is it a way of you just, you just, like, bringing them all over?
Like a comb over, but for the chest.
You know how, yeah, you grow hair, you'd go long hair at the sides and comb over the top
of your hair, you'd put the top of your bald plate.
If I was to try, what am I going to have to start shaving my chest to exacerbate the hair growth
and then combing upwards, maybe having a little bit of wig gum just to keep the hair attached.
But...
Starve the bomb half of your chest of light.
I don't know. I'm not you. I do starve most of your chest of light. I do, I don't know, I'm not like you.
I do starve most of my chest from light. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do Yeah, well that's exactly, you know, because the hair grows down the neck.
And then...
Oh, there we go.
Just stops, basically.
But yeah, if I could...
Can you grow up and grow down,
so we'll tell you...
And clap the two together.
The only thing about that is that I won't be able to nod.
LAUGHTER
I'm not gonna lie to you.
This has all been an elaborate ruse to try and stop you nodding.
I've been nodding a lot.
So you do nodding? I mean, yes and go. Like one of those parts of the clip. all been an elaborate ruse to try and stop you not doing not a lot. You do not.
I mean, yes and guy.
Why do you think we like working with you so much?
Why do you think we sit you on our dashboard?
When we drive it around on tour.
All those years when we were driving a rain,
touring, the reason you didn't drive is so you could sit on the
dashboard and keep us all in.
Very much.
Say Tom.
So we've got some, we've got some, we've got some pretty big news folks.
We are very, very excited that we can, is this bull graph?
Yeah. Oh nice.
Tell them what about it.
Now the problem with you there, Matthew, you were nodding while he was.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Just, just don't let you down.
So we've got some very exciting news.
We can officially announce not only the date, the location and the time.
Today's the time.
No, we can, I'll tell you what, we can also...
You know what?
You'll tell you what.
Let's start with that.
Let's work up to the next.
Today is, what is it today?
Actually, it's a very good question.
Today is, if you're listening to this on a date,
it comes out it's Tuesday, the 25th of October.
So that is the first day of the rest of your lives,
because you're not going to spend today doing,
getting yourself over to ticatext.co.uk
and getting tickets for the Pappy's
Flat Shaker is special. It's an amazing double bill. It's on it. It's always the show of the year.
Okay Tom, it's show of the year.
I tell you what, I take the mic off right. It's only jobs what you could be a time
at less bold for a second and let me just give out all the details.
Before you drop any more absolute
gratitude like it's the show of the year.
No, before the details come up,
we just need to throw him a little bit of, you know,
speak a little bit of the drive-to-drive.
We can't beat them off the plate, you know,
we need to throw a bit of wrap.
Are you okay, Tom?
I'm getting the mean dress. Okay, we need to throw a bit of wrap. Are you okay, Tom? I'm getting them interested.
Okay, she's still going.
Still going.
Oh, she's just canceled.
You know what, I've gone off the idea now.
Did you say we can't beat them off the plate, Tom?
Dease them off the plate.
Dease them too many deets.
Dease them too many deets.
Dease them too many deets.
Dease them too many deets.
Dease them too many deets.
Dease them too many deets. Dease them too many deets. Dease them too many deets. De bit of razzmataz. Okay, I've done that now.
It's the show of the year off you, though.
I think the razzmataz, for me,
comes from the fantastic lineup.
We're doing a beef brothers cold cuts
with the brilliant James A. Castor.
That is the, he is what I'd call one of the performers
of the year.
And that's true.
One of the jewels in the year. And that's true. One of the jewels in the years.
Absolutely right.
So yeah, so we've got on the 11th of December,
we're starting the show at 5.30 pm.
We have got James Acaster,
starting us off with a beef brother's cold cuts.
Beef brother's cold turkey,
so we'll be solving your festive dilemmas.
If you wanna start getting them in now, beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com, send them in. We're going to be talking about the original podcast. The original podcast. The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast.
The original podcast. The original podcast. The original podcast. hard and very much our favourite episode of the year. Oh, to lose a few words from that, the show of the year.
We've got Athena Keblenu, absolutely brilliant.
We've got Lou Sanders, a dear friend and a reg, I mean, we've had her on many times
as she's always wonderful.
Really excited.
So all the details are going to be in the show notes, but
repeating. 11 December 2022, 5.30pm, Pappy's flat share, Christmas special, James A. Castor,
Athena Coblenu, Lou Sanders, it's at 21 Soho in London and yeah, tickets are available
now and if you are a paid...
Just to repeat the show of the year, how you...
I'm actually currently putting it in my diary.
Yeah, it's always, in fact, Tom, do me a favour, do that now.
Get your paper diary out.
It's in, it's in, it's in.
Oh, good man, love.
I've papered it up the last week.
Love it.
11th of December.
Well, if you would like to, if you would like to get discounted tickets for it, I think
ticket to 12 quibbit, you can get discounted tickets.
Call again for food.
You, well, at currently,
I'm sorry, you starry.
Currently no Tom,
I currently have a bed and I have a little chat
with Trotch and you entry.
We thought it was the boldest thing to do.
We've got it, we've got to get something.
So, like,
well, I'll pay twice once for Tom once, but yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, So we have cost of being arm and a bloody leg shot.
We've got tickets available for a discount rate of a tenor if you are a member of the
Patreon.
So patreon.com forward slash Pappy's flat share, get yourself on the Patreon.
Any tier you're on the Patreon will get you access.
A Crimbo note.
Sorry Tom.
Is it what we're calling that?
I'm sorry, I literally didn't hear what you said.
A tenor or as we're calling it a crimbo note.
A tenor or as we're calling it a crimbo note, absolutely right Tom, I couldn't agree
with you.
I'm nodding away frantically.
It's only a crimbo note.
For a mere crimbo note, brackets plus bookings, a bunch of Crimbo coins.
So yeah, so Crimbo note plus booking fee, 10, 10, Crimbo booking fee. So get yourself to the Patreon and and sign up today.
Any tier you join, you will get access to the, you get access to the show of the
year,
or at least two quit off the ticket price.
If you join from Forquid and above,
you can of course get all of the flagship pop browns,
all of the love sex shag downs,
all of the bonus beefs and loads of bonus audio,
which including bonus audio from those shows.
So you'll have bonus stuff from Acast,
they're bonus stuff from Coblendu, bonus stuff from Acastas, bonus stuff from Koblenu, bonus stuff from Saunas,
and of course, bonus stuff from the three of us
on names have not changed.
It is of course, banded.
And the jingle, and the jingle is a single as well.
So you'll be getting our Christmas release.
You will indeed.
You will indeed.
Take it to Christmas number one
by joining the Patreon today, patreon.com,
forward slash Pappy's Flatshare.
But most of all, whatever you can get yourself to Papi's Flatshare
Christmas special on the 11th of December, it's the only live show we're doing this
year. So please get down. They're always amazing. They're always fun. They're always
full of advocate and vague assinence. You'll have a wonderful time. Shall we crack on
with the house meeting? Please. I would record.
I've had a thought. I've got an issue.
I've got a question I want to ask you.
I want to talk.
I want a chat.
OK, let's sit down and chew the fat.
House meeting.
Beating.
Beating.
What temperature should we set?
The heat.
House meeting.
Beating.
Beating.
Why on earth am I always weep? House meeting. Beating. Beatingie. I'm a huffie. I'm a huffie. I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie.
I'm a huffie. I'm a huffie. I'm a huffie. I'm a huffie. I'm a huffie. If someone turned up today at your eyes, I don't know how to start that weirdly.
You started that with the threat.
Yeah, they'd probably be an Amazon delivery guy, I imagine.
Right?
Okay.
Yeah, ignore someone turning up at your house.
Okay.
Well, hang on, that's hard to ignore, Tom.
Okay, yeah, I know.
If they're rigging the ring doorbell, they're begging on the... Right, no, I'll change this. Hang on, that's hard to ignore, Tom. Okay, yeah, I know. If they're rigging the ring door a bit or they're bagging on the...
Right, no, I'll change this.
I'll put your eyes, but they pop a little letter
through your postbox and then off they scuttle.
Okay, okay, sure, sure, sure.
So I don't even know, I don't even know that.
You might not even see them,
it depends where you sleep.
I just sleep outside my front door, so yeah.
Yeah, if you sleep killed up under the letterbox, wait.
Anywho, you get, let's just settle on
you getting a notification, okay?
Okay, and it says, you've met all the people
that you're gonna meet now.
Right, no more new people for you.
Right, yeah. No. Right. No more new people for you. Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm thinking, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. would be my thoughts. I might be thinking, okay then, I don't mind it. Is your thinking
like, I've met enough people now. Yeah, I think like if someone said, look, we're
capping it, you're capped. Yeah, okay. Not even, and not even a one, like, well, we can
get to a one in one out compromise if anyone feels like they want it. How do you unmute people?
compromise if anyone feels like they want it. How do you unmute people?
Well, you can't meet them again.
Oh, I see.
Oh, right.
Oh, okay.
So you're talking about like, are you talking about a friend's cap?
Is that what you're talking about?
So like, for example, if I...
It's a cap.
Well, can I ask you if you can ask you if you follow up questions?
You can try, but you know what the answer is going to be.
Yes, yes.
I'm okay with that.
Okay, sure.
So it's a cap.
Now, so Tom, do you consider, for example, go into a cafe and get in yourself a sandwich
and chatting to the person behind the counter while they're making the sandwich.
Do you consider a meeting somebody?
Have you chatted to them before?
I mean, don't worry about that.
Just worry about, is that a meeting? I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don't, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don't, I don't, I don, I don, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don that. This means I can never go to, it means I can never go to another food establishment
except the ones I've been there before.
And if they get new staff, I can't go there anymore.
Okay, yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I'll see.
You can take that side of things out of it.
Basically, it's a cap.
Here we go, my daughter's starting school.
Okay, she's starting school in a year and a bit's time.
What happens there?
Because I need to meet other parents, I need to meet the teachers. Oh, that's starting school in a year and a bit's time. What happened there? Because I need to meet other parents,
I need to meet the teachers, what?
Oh, that's true.
You can't really, because you've got to talk.
Okay, okay.
That guy scottled up to your door this morning.
Yeah.
I've seen him on the ring doorbell.
He was a ball-blowk.
He was wearing yellow t-shirt shorts.
He did a little jig and then he posted a note through my door.
But did he look like he was still working things out?
Yeah.
He hadn't quite thought it through,
but he written the note and he thought,
oh well, it's half way through the door now.
Tom, don't worry, we're not going to stop being your friend.
Just because I go to a cafe and my daughter starts school,
I'm not going to stop being your friend, man. Well, is this Tom's way of saying we need to meet new people?
One out guys one in one out
Well, it's two out no more in
Like looking any further a field now. It's like right everyone who's in your life
That's your that's your lot, no. Stick at it.
Tom, you literally moved to a new city.
Not that long ago.
I haven't made any new friends.
That's a very good, you make a very good boy.
It's too busy in my shed on Zoom talking to you too.
What are you doing Thursday night?
I'll be in a shed in the back of my garden
talking to people on Zoom.
I feel like, I I just you know, it's that effort thing isn't it? I've got I'm amazed about
Oh, no
Like the the the heft the heft of having to put yourself back out there and
Being like oh, this is the kind of guy I am.
Oh, God, that.
It's not dating, though. It's not like, you know, you're not.
It's a bit like dating, isn't it?
Um, I guess so.
So you're saying basically you're happy with the number of people
that you've got in your life.
And you'd be very happy not to meet any new people.
I'm happy, I'm happy as a a stretch but I think maybe I'm happy not to meet anyone else.
Rather than happy with what I've got.
Tom, there's, is this sheet going from being a lovable goon to total misanthrope?
Is that your, is this the first step of a recluse?
It's a very nice shed Tom.
It's a very nice shed.
I guess it's to do with, there's a lot going on,
isn't there?
It'd be nice to have a bit more of a under milk wood
type existence where it got your little, you know.
Isn't there something about human brains and like animal brains and clarky? Come little, you know, isn't there something about human brains
and like animal brains and Clarky, come on, you know this. There is supposed to be like,
there is supposed to be like a maximum of people you can actually kind of maintain a relationship
with. Right. And I feel like we're all over capacity because of the way we've gone.
I feel like, you know, surely the pandemic was great for thinning
out the numbers of friends, not because they passed on obviously, I'm making it. I realized
as I went into that, that wasn't, you know, it's been a real day for starting things
with not entirely committed to. But like, you know, there were people you were like,
oh, I don't, you know, like, it was sort of hanging over you in kind of like early,
sort of early 2020, going,
oh, I've got that, I have sent a meetup with that person,
you know, and then when the pandemic came in,
you had this great excuse,
and unless they chased it up,
you're home free to do as you please.
I've got a good, I think I've come up
with a good solution for us here.
Move to Exeter.
It plays into what Clarkie's facing.
Right.
Once you organize your wedding.
Okay, right.
I was just, I was, I was,
there's so many things that Clarkie's facing.
I was, I was, I was, there's so many things that Clarkie's facing.
Type two type of bases. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I Yeah. A brick wall for eight hours a day.
I'm so confused.
Once you're organized your wedding, anyone who doesn't make the list is gone.
She can't, can't cut.
Oh no, no, no, no, because I look back on my wedding and no offense to anyone who
was at my wedding, but there are definitely people who I would want to switch one in one
out for. There are people who I would want to switch one in one out for.
There are people out there who I thought.
We were there.
Yeah, I'm not saying you guys,
I'm listening to this Tom, please.
Honestly, I still want to be your friends.
I love you, man.
I don't want to be, this is not me going,
well, you're lucky.
The first two people are my parents and the two best men.
That's who I'm getting, I'm cutting them loose.
Of course, I obviously still meet the top.
Yeah.
Chop off the top of the pyramid.
Yeah.
You got to do some big early, red wedding.
That bloke running the buffet, oh my God, he was amazing.
He's gonna be my new best mate.
No, you're obviously still in there,
but there are people there, I thought,
ah yeah, and there are definitely people, I there are people there, I thought, yeah, and there are definitely people I look back on now, I thought,
they were maybe at the time, and they're 100% definite now.
So life has to change, you have to evolve.
And also, let's not rule out the fact that you have friends go off you, right?
I know that's happened to me.
It's happening now. But you have friends who off you, right? I know that's happened to me. It's happening now.
But you know, you have friends who move away from you.
How can I, I'm, I'm locking you in.
Oh no, no, no, you should be pleased with this.
I'm not, I'm cheering this podcast.
They didn't mean cheering this.
You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're in this.
You're in this, you're in this.
I'm so, you're in this.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in. You're in a family. My daughter You're in. You're in. You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in. You're in.
You're in. You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in.
You're in. You're in. You're in. You're there was. Come on.
And it was. This is a real slam to the people, the good people of Exeter.
No one that's tickles your fantasy. There's only so many hours in the day. There's only so many days in the week.
You kind of go like, I struggle currently to retain my friendships as they are.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
A lot of you comes Johnny Newboy and you're like,
go, cool, I like you, sure, in another world.
When I'm 25, we're gonna be buds.
But right now, who are squeezing you in for?
Have you met a 25-year-old?
I don't know what it is.
Oh, Johnny Newboy.
You've met a 25-year-old called Johnny that you wanna Oh, John, you met a 25-year-old called Johnny
that you want to be friends with,
but the age gap's too much to breach.
He's on Twitch.
We don't know, but it's like, if I was, no, if I was 25,
I'm all in, like that's the, you know,
you spread in your cast in your net.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're on the hunt, but no, you kind of go,
actually, I've got lots of good it. I've got too many good friends
Cross me you're back in the danger zone
Just what I thought I was in
Goat impressions, let's hear bleeding
Go to impressions, let's hear bleeding. I see you, man.
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for her.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
In select theaters, December 15th.
You know, those traffic light parties at university. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would the ever-so slightly problematic
traffic light party, yeah?
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, like, if there was like, say, say,
what Clark you were saying about, like, you know,
that the human brain can only hold onto a certain amount
in their social group.
Yeah. What would be an interesting system is like,
once you're over capacity,
you have your little red badge or something.
And then people walking over there red badge,
and you know, it's like, oh, they're at capacity.
I'm not gonna take it personally
that they don't wanna hang out
or that they're stalling on going for a beer.
Yeah.
Because I know they're popular, they're not that popular.
That's the wrong way.
They're full.
They're capped.
They're capped.
They're capped.
Sure.
We could even literally capped.
They're wearing red caps.
You know.
And then if you're negotiating your cap,
if you're thinking of wanting one outing or something,
you put on a yellow cap and then people are like,
oh, hello. Yeah. But for us to war here. initiating your cap if you're thinking of wanting one own thing or something you put on a yellow cap and then people are like oh hello
Yeah, but right
Say for example like say for example my wife and I walking around in our little red caps, right?
And then one day one
He's sorry. She's wearing a yellow cap
What what do I think about that?
That he's made a friend at the school gate. Ah, of course, a friend at the school gate.
She's got the friend at the school gate.
Someone's died.
Someone's told they don't hang around with him anymore.
Imagine that you get a gift.
Someone sent you a gift in the post.
You open it up, it's a yellow cap.
Oh my god, I'm cutting you out.
It's like a Matthew or something.
It's like social media, really, isn't it?
It's not a million miles away.
Yeah, we all remember the time when Tom took
myself and Ben out of his top eight on Myspace.
Oh.
Let Tom in.
He left the D-Full in.
He left the D-Full in.
He left Tom from Myspace there. Got rid of Clarky in the cross. Unbelievable.
Did I really do that?
No.
I mean, maybe.
I remember when I was in good jumps.
I remember when, well, firstly, I remember when my my space page got, like, accidentally
got deleted.
Someone knocking on the door there. Yeah, it's the delivery man. Well, first I remember when my Myspace page got like, accidentally got deleted.
Someone knocking on the door there.
Yeah, it's the delivery man.
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
Oh, it's a yellow cap.
It's clocky's head.
Oh no.
Hello.
Clocky's head wearing a yellow cap.
Exactly, who I've lost.
Yeah, so I remember when my space page got deleted and I lost my mind, I couldn't believe
how I was like, that's such an important thing to me.
And now I don't even like, I don't think I still have one.
And I also remember when I broke up with my girlfriend around that time and someone said,
oh, you've broken up with your girlfriend, haven't you?
I know because she's taking you out of her top eight.
That's how someone clocked it.
She was out the top eight and therefore, yeah.
Oh, mate.
Yeah.
Sarah's wrong, she was still in my top eight and has like, come on.
Oh, my gosh.
Nope.
Yeah, there was nothing worse than that.
It was that kind of visual representation
of who your top friends are and who their top friends are.
Yeah.
That's, that's, that's torrid.
Someone's always missing out in that scenario.
Exactly.
This is the reason why friendship is inherently
an unbalanced thing.
Let's just cap it now.
The three of us stay friends and let's never talk to anybody else, right?
Yeah.
We're in a lot of trouble.
We'll all just say it on little sheds,
and we'll just, we'll chat to each other,
and that'll be it, right?
I will never meet in real life.
No.
I'm sorry, I'm putting that clause in as well.
That's one of the clauses.
I'll put it in the clauses.
Is the actual thing that you've just got a lot on at the moment?
You're a bit busy.
No, it's that when you meet someone new, you kind of go,
okay, but I've met someone new, a lot,
John and me, and you kind of go, in terms of life experiences,
making mates, like, I've done.
Right.
And it's not easy, it's like it's it's hard
It's it's not hard, but it does effort involved and there's a certain degree of like you know and and I just don't know if I need to do it again
I guess you'd be like
Who's who's gonna come along and fill have I got a hole?
Yes and Phil, have I got a hole? Yes. Now we finally arrived.
Now we're finally onto it.
Like, is there a gap?
Are you going to go?
Where's the gap?
Where's the gap?
If you're looking at your sports team
on the wall in the dressing room,
and you're like, right, who's sent a back?
You've got your sent a back, who's your sturdy man
at the back, okay, I've got a problem
when I talked to you.
Who are your wingers, who are the fun guys?
We're off to the pub, you make me laugh.
There's my wingers, you know.
Who's my slam dunk striker?
Who's gonna be, you know, the person who I can text
that to because I can't tweet, it's too rude.
Oh yeah, there you go, bang, Bosch, brilliant. Then you kind of go, where are my gaps? If you've got a gap in your tea,
then I understand it, but I feel like by the time you get your forties, people have got quite a
full squad. So that obviously asks the question, Tom, who are myself and Ben in your verse 11?
self and then in your first 11. Oh nice, very good question.
Cause you're looking at the wall in the dressing room.
You've got your 11 friends.
I've got it here.
Yeah.
Why do you think I bought magnetic whiteboards?
You're tiny little magnets.
You're tiny little magnets holding up a picture of me.
Don't need a big magnet for that. It's actual size.
So, where are we playing?
Or, you know, are we on the subs bench?
Is there a subs bench?
Yeah, oh yeah, there's a big subs bench.
Huge subs bench, okay.
You got it, you got it, you got it right, take your squad.
Are we making the first 11?
I mean, I think it'd be got to rotate your squad. Are we making the first 11? I mean, it'd be weird.
I think it'd be weird if you would weren't.
Yes.
I guess I'd be able to see the rest of the day.
I guess I'd be able to see the rest of the day.
Oh, that went, you're not having that answer.
Uh.
Uh.
I think I'm looking at my two centre backs.
I realise now, I realise how I ask that question, I've got no idea what that means.
Yeah.
I asked the question, I don't know what the answer is going to mean.
Unless you said striker, I wouldn't know.
I know, I was thinking about trying to employ a weird phrase and see if you'd just go with it.
You're my left bunga, Matthew.
No, no, no.
There we go.
We've probably never talked about that on the podcast, man.
Yeah.
What happened on that stag D?
Stays on that stag D.
Yeah.
Yeah, or maybe like, yeah, yeah, I think, no, okay.
I'd go so far as to put you in like defensive midfield
in front of the defenders, you know, kind of in the center of the field, pulling the strings,
sport in the defense.
Love it.
Yeah.
In the spine of the team, you've got to be pleased with that.
I'm very happy with that, yeah, yeah, totally.
Yeah, great.
And, and, um, a Clarkie the same. Same question to Clarkie. Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, a Clarkie the same.
Same question to Clarkie. Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a game of mastermind, who's the old man, who's the sexy lady? I'm Colonel Watt.
Let's talk drafts.
What really am I in?
What am I holding in my hand?
Is it a lead pipe?
Anywho, it's just that thing of...
There comes a point where you just feel like, okay, I could just, you know, it's just that thing of, there comes a point where you just feel like, okay,
I could just, I just wanna, you know,
I don't have to do it again.
I guess.
It's not like I'm turning my back on humanity.
That's good today.
It's just the start of like your super villain origin story.
Do you have too many friends?
I have too many friends and just like,
Fuck it. I'm losing all of you.
I think super villains are the opposite.
I think super villains are deep down when you scratch below the surface.
They want everyone to be their friends.
They want everyone to be their friends. Yeah, they want everyone to know their name.
So you're saying around, you're saying sort of,
you know, so actually you're a hero basically.
So it's what you're saying.
In many ways, you're cave, you don't see Bruce Wayne
hobnot while you do see him, hobnot,
I think that's trying to become a socializer.
Yeah, so it's what you're all you see doing, isn't it?
So yeah, Batman then.
Okay, I guess Batman is have my boyfriend show it.
The bat shed.
The past shed.
Anyway, the sheds got nothing to do with not making friends.
Okay, Tom, keep saying it.
So honestly, you've moved to Exeter.
You've got your daughter's going to a variety
of different classes, you know.
She's a little kid.
Have you not met anybody that gave you
that sort of like exciting little tingle
that you thought, oh, this could be a new friendship.
I know it's tricky.
It's just like meeting new parents and stuff.
But is it your meeting those people
in your going, fuck fuck get out of it?
Not you.
I can't, I can't.
You meet someone and you have that exciting little tingle and you think, well, where's
this going to go?
You're only going to let me down.
I'm married, aren't I?
Not like you're a big equivalent of being married.
Do you want to be like friendship wise on me?
You're already married to your friends, yeah.
Like say, but friendship is like,
friendship was like a sort of big open relationship, isn't it?
It's like polyamory.
You can't be annoyed if you see one of your friends
and another of your friends going and doing stuff
without you, because that's just the nature of you.
Oh, you can.
Oh, I know, I know.
That's a huge, huge, wonderful.
You're talking about a good time.
We have a good time at Back to Future, man.
Yeah, okay, I know you did. You did. One more time. We're trying to get a good time. We have a good time at Back to Future, man.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, I know you did.
I know you did.
You're showing the yuck at the end of the D'Aurian and go back your time.
Try and get that pesky invite.
But, you know, so, you know, you just go like, you get the tingle, but you go, well, I can't act on this.
I'm too old, I'm too tired. I'm too fucking blind.
I'm too fucking blind.
I'm too fucking blind.
You're like, what's it gonna be?
When can I see you?
Oh, let's have a look at the diary.
The march.
Yeah, let's get a mundane march in.
I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know, I just feel like it's like.
But I did, you know.
Do you not have friends like that where you can see them
two, maybe three times a year, and it's great.
And that's all you need as the top up.
Totally, but that's a top up.
That isn't the start of a new friendship.
That's true. You have to put in a bit of effort at the start.
I made friends with them through our daughter.
We made friends. They're an amazing couple in Exeter.
Clicked. this is great.
And then that was like a year ago, maybe a year and a half ago, they've just announced
that they're moving to Nottingham. And I saw him on Saturday, an event, and said, oh,
got to your moving man, we're going to miss you and you went yeah, but actually top we saw you three times
We saw you three times
Amazing things to say sounds like you would have been a great friend. Yeah
But he's right, you know, we liked each other there's we had a bit of bit back and forth on what's up lovely, but
Actually seeing each other. We had a bit of back and forth on WhatsApp lovely, but actually seeing each other,
yeah, probably about three times.
You'll come and visit him.
Yeah, I mean, we can say we will,
but it's gonna be hard.
Yeah, it's gonna be so.
So, you know, it's, you know,
I'm just talking about the reality of it, really.
One in one out,
because you do it with Christmas cards.
Well, I didn't even do Christmas cards, but just let people know.
What, you mean the squad?
You're still in the squad, but you've slipped a little bit, so let's try and make a good
year or a trade this time next year, you're not getting a card.
That's interesting.
It's a bit like the Nando's Black card.
You know, like the Nando's Black card every year, they assess who's getting it.
Oh, I did not know.
Yeah, so there's a sort of committee that gets together
and goes, right, is this person still worthy
of their Nando's Black card?
They either get it taken,
I think there's only like, I think they only give out
like 500 or something, maybe something like that.
And they go, right, you can get it taken away
if your stock isn't rising or if you've not been
or fiams massive.
Yeah.
Yeah, but like that, I mean, I don't know.
The only thing about that is it feels like that is you
kind of like, because I don't know,
you want your friends to because I don't know,
you want your friends to be good friends to you,
but ultimately you wanna be a good friend to them, right?
That's more important,
because there are times when people,
like we all know this from our own lives,
there are times when you go,
you're not a great friend to people
because of what's going on in your life
and it's not, you know,
not necessarily your fault
that you're letting friendships fall by the wayside.
But that's where the other friends pick up the slack, right?
If a friendship is like a kind of,
if a friendship is like 100% of a thing,
two people make it 100%,
sometimes you're gonna be 50, 50,
sometimes you're gonna be 60, 40,
but the other person has to see that and, you know, accept it.
Right?
So I feel like you don't want to make anything to, you know, I don't know if you want to be too harsh on people saying, that's it. Right? Yeah. So I feel like you don't want to make anything,
you know, I don't know if you want to be too harsh
on people saying, that's it.
Yeah, you're out.
It's in the middle of photo with you
with your arm around some guy from Nost again.
You got it.
You're gone.
It's all my, you're out of the dynamic.
I've got this, yeah.
You have to pay for your own chicken.
Do you know anyone who's had their black card rescinded?
I mean, I know people have had black cards
that I imagine don't have black cards now,
but so yeah, I guess so, but I've not asked.
I had a good little spot the other day.
Oh yeah, so you're gonna see a black card?
I'm gonna say, how did you have a gonna see. I went to see the American Football game at
the Spurs Ground on Saturday. Oh yeah. Sunday. Sunday it was. And I had to leave it half time
for a lovely record that we had to be the birthday girls coming soon. And so I was leaving.
It was half time. And as I walked out, someone was doing a three point turn
because they were trying to park their Ferrari somewhere
in the station Car Park.
And the guy was like,
you've got to go and park in,
I think the same, he's parked or something.
And it was dizzy rascal.
Oh wow.
Dizzy.
And woken up and jumped in his Ferrari to drive his Ferrari
to the top of ground to watch American football. I just thought that's not bad is it?
That's bonkers.
I...
You know, you're not having a car that's really expensive, right?
This is my sort of justification of having a really shitty old car, but having a
car that's really expensive.
Like if someone goes, oh you've got to go and park park in the same room's car park. Don't you go,
better off I just go home.
Well, that's it, seeing it put you around.
Like, putting around in a Ferrari was very funny to me.
Yeah.
Well, that's it.
Like, what,
I can't get my head around it.
Famously, I once overtook Jemira Kwaian of Volkswagen piloted
and I was in the middle lane in the Lamborghini.
You did.
One of the big highlights, gave me the whole, You're a quiet evolkshine pilot, didn't I? Ticks in the middle lane in the Lamborghini. You did!
One of the big highlights,
gave me the whole,
I wouldn't go and off the way.
LAUGHTER
That wasn't bonkers,
that was virtual insanity.
LAUGHTER
That's one of the,
that's on the highlight reel.
You know when your, when you own your life flashes for your eyes for your eye?
Yeah.
I really hope that's in there.
Oh yeah.
Me giving the Hong Kong overtaking me.
I hope it's not the last thing.
I'm on it to like sublime like looking into my daughter's eyes
or something like that, but.
If you really need that.
I imagine if you find out,
I imagine when your life flashes for your eyes, it's like, oh, this is your actual was fully eyes, it's like, oh this is
your actual top 10 and it's like, oh turns out, like your number two highlight in life
was the time your gizz hit the ceiling, you know, you overtook him, you overtook him, you
overtook him, you're like, oh no, I was a rata. I think you did. And then 11 people show up to your funeral.
And no one's got a good word to say about it.
Squat almost.
The subs bench couldn't at least make an effort.
We'll be at SAND.
They're all right, wing.
We'll be throwing our orange caps into the air, like graduation.
Like my friendship group great again.
Yeah, because when one of your friendship group clocks it, you're getting red hat, I guess,
don't you?
No, you're back in the air, back in the game.
It's like, guys, and I mean this, if I do croak it, find someone else and carry on this You're back in the game. You're back in the game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a little bit of a joke. That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke.
That's a little bit of a joke. That's a little bit of a joke. That's a little bit of a joke. That's a little bit of a joke. That's a little bit of a joke. I can eat... Pudding! What happened?
While strange death it was,
Perry died thinking about Jemiracquai
and saying, keep Pudding.
His poor daughter didn't get a look in.
Weirdly he thought about his top five moments
where his giz hit in the ceiling.
Take overtaking Jemiracquai
and three times you hung out with a bloke
who's now moved to Nottingham.
Those are the top five moments.
Those are the top five.
Oh, really?
That was my top five.
Yeah, that was your top five, mate.
Have a nice death.
I do like that.
It's like the big brother highlight reel.
Like the people don't have a say in what that's gonna be.
They tell you, look at your best bits, yeah.
That's the big, really, really real to me.
That wasn't my best bits and people are like, it was.
It bloody wasn't it.
I'm sorry, we can't show your gears
sitting the ceiling, it's channel four at eight o'clock.
When Divina says, please do not swear,
they also mean please not gears
on the ceiling and broadcasting.
That night when you all dressed up as mice mice using only things from the kitchen and you got
rewarded with Prosecco so you were sick in a bin.
That's your top five moment mate.
Bye!
It's like, like, to Tom that does sound like everyone of our Edinburgh shows.
It's just, what's quite concerning I think for ex-sketch comedians is there's real risk that your
highlight reel is going to be, you know, you wearing a leotard with a cardboard cone
on your head.
Yeah.
And what I know is that was, but we talked about that, Stagg.
Don't mention anything else in the same, right?
The bungie I did in that cardboard hat is between me and the bloke around the buffet
at my wedding.
Hold right, Bunga.
He could bang volavons for England.
He could.
Anyway, it'd be nice to have some control on your best bits, I guess.
Is what I'm saying.
Well, Tom, you're in luck,
because you can listen back to this episode
and tell caution what are your best bits
and we'll put together your best bits from this episode.
How'd you feel about that?
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
I was thinking more like, where I was,
21, it was a very good year.
If you wanna get the scenario, it was a very good year. If you want to get the snout drink,
it's a ceiling with my jizz and head to wiping off
with a mop from downstairs.
LAUGHTER
Bane.
There's so many details in this, Tom, is this a real story?
No, no, no.
I don't think so.
LAUGHTER
Come on, Tom. Come on, Tom.
It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. It should two-centre- Come on Tom, come on me. Is she Kurdish?
Is she two-centred bachelor talking to her?
You can tell us.
Could you imagine if you got to the end
and you're looking at your highlight rail
and they've padded it with stuff from other people?
Yeah, I'm waiting for it.
I don't remember doing that.
Look, his Steve Dunne doing a three-point turn. What? Well, I got come on guys. I don't remember doing that. Look, his Steve Dunne doing a 3.2 lately.
What?
Well, I got a c'mon, guys.
I've done some good parking.
You have to stop the video.
Not like this. This is really good.
Yeah, I did go and see the movie put Kung Fu Panda 2,
but you have to show 20 minutes of it, right?
Yeah.
Surely that comes from the future of the musical.
C'mon.
Oh, that's going to be there.
Number one, the prince.
Back to the future of the musical come on! That's gonna be the end of the one-of-one I'm back to the future of the musical!
Clockier cross-be-key for the bar!
Oh, come on!
I'm going deep, we're undergrant. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr God in 60 seconds. 10. Don't show God in 60 seconds. That's easy.
We can't.
What's the worst thing you've considered eating?
That's easy.
It would be funny if someone arrived and was like,
you say your best film is this, but actually your best film is this.
There's real things that you don't actually have control of.
I think you're totally right there,
and those questions are always so difficult
of like what's your favorite song.
But if there was something just to definitively tell you,
I wonder how surprising it would be like,
oh yeah, yeah that is, that is actually it.
It's a bit like that show that Brett made.
You know that, have you watched any of it about soulmates?
No.
Where you can have a test
which tells you who your soulmate is.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And so it's sort of like,
people are just, you know,
couples are kind of going,
well, should we go and have a test?
Should we go for it?
And you know, even if we find out there's a soulmate,
you know, you could still be with me
and this kind of thing.
It's a bit like that, isn't it?
It's a bit like going,
how well do we actually know ourselves?
Because also, also, do you not think it's sometimes that, like, you know,
what if my favourite film I just couldn't be bothered to watch?
It should be like a spit test, like you spit in a jar.
Yeah, yeah.
You send it off like those genetic things, it comes back and it's like,
actually mate, you like new metal.
You're like, oh, do I?
Yeah.
I'm rolling, I'm rolling.
I'm rolling, rolling, rolling.
I bet there's a very good chance of that kind of stuff,
because you really kind of resist stuff
at formative times in your life.
When you're growing up, you're like, nah,
I don't want to be into that.
Because that isn't who I want to be.
In our case, I don't want to be into that
because Ben's into that.
I don't want to be into that because Tom's into that. I don't want to be into that because Tom's into that
Yeah, yeah one thing I think I have done now that I'm in my 40s. Listen to dear
I
Refusing to partake in best song of all time but favorite top five films go any of those conversations anymore. Well, you've got no mates.
Yeah, I can have them myself in my share.
You've got top five tiny magnets.
Top five draft.
I'm letting those conversations go
because ultimately they're
meaning they're redundant to me. You like go there's films I enjoyed, there's films I still enjoy but I don't have to say I don't have to come up
with a winner. No. That's mad. Yeah. They're just all experiences. Yeah. So like I can't do it anymore, but a push
Come on it's all three isn't it
A big fan of fast cars just ask Jimmy Rekwai I
Would he really freak?
Imagine if one of us bought a
Really
Posh car. Yeah, it would not be weird. It would it would say it would suggest that
We'd either won the lottery or that we weren't telling the truth about what we did for a living to the other team
You'd also you'd also be like oh the podcast isn't going to last very long now.
Now that clock, he's a drug dealer.
Perry bought a fraud, but it was with his life savings after he died.
And you've got to carry on with the podcast it was his dying wish.
It's less like, it's less about the money because you go like okay whatever the wherever you
got the money you and inheritance came your way or you had a massive advert or something or you know
you had there was one killer job that landed in your lap but if if if someone you know
you think you know and love turns around around and goes, and with that money,
I bought a Ferrari.
You'd be like, oh, I don't know you at all.
Yeah.
I don't, if any of my friends turn around
and said I've bought a Ferrari,
I'd be like, I didn't think I was friends with anyone.
I don't think I am friends with anyone who,
you need me.
Like surely, Jimmy, friend me.
Like surely, Jimmy requires mates when he bought a Ferrari must have thought, ah, well
maybe they thought, yeah, of course, I imagine most people.
I suppose there's got to be someone who's an absolute left-hand for, it's very difficult
with a Ferrari, they've got very big turning circle.
Just ask if he's a racer, he was having an awful time here in that free point turn.
That's my boy Arlay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What if someone said to you, someone's got to look to your front door and put the old letterboxer to work?
You've watched all the films you're now going to watch your own your rewatch mode and you've listened to all the music
You're only gonna listen to no more new music. I'd probably go okay. I've got I've got a library
I'll go back and I'll revisit and I'll plumb the depths.
So, are you saying that's all motion?
Can I just...
I've got some follow up questions, as always.
Are you...
It's true in a cafe and you're ordering a coffee.
And they're placing a film.
And they're placing music yet.
You have to leave the cafe.
Never go there again.
Yeah.
So, are you treating this like the arm-ish treat technology
and you're saying, 2022 is the last year of music
you can listen to.
You can go back and listen to a band.
You didn't know that well from 1973,
but you, or are you saying literally every song
you've listened to, you could only listen to those songs.
You've got to listen to it already.
Oh boy.
Yeah. I think that's what I think that genuinely happens to everyone at some point anyway. Yeah. Like my dad, he
won't. We're always trying to like buy him news. Like, you know, like, oh, check this
man that. I think we'd like them because they're a bit like something that you used to
listen to. And he'll be like, I just want to listen to the things I used to listen to.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
I don't like new music.
It's like, you don't listen to it.
There's a lot of that with buying presents for parents.
You're like, I've bought you this.
It's a new hobby starter.
You can, you know, I don't know, craft a hedgehog and they're like, no.
No, it's not happening with my old hedgehogs.
Absolutely, very much.
I've already got 500 hedgehogs, like, would I want the new one?
Yeah, and also, if I wanted to craft a hedgehog, I'd have
fucking done it when I was, you know, raised about.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I'm not saying that's me.
I, you know, maybe I, you know,
I like the idea of, you know, maybe I definitely think parents get to that stage. I don't know.
I, I think I'm okay, basically. I think I've got a good enough library of stuff. I've seen
that I could go and watch again and be like, okay, or listen to, can I say one thing? It feels
a little bit like you're saying
in quite a roundabout way that you are happy with your life?
Yeah, it could be.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
I'm trying to sort of work us round to a positive ending.
Right at the time.
No, I don't think it is.
I think basically we live in a society that is, you know,
drawing the planet.
Oh no, that's come on.
Oh my God, I knew this was happening to you at nice ending.
I literally knew this was around the corner.
Is that nice ending?
Yeah.
To go, we've got enough.
We've got all that we have is here.
So you know, musicians put those instruments down.
Just stop making films.
We're good.
Yeah, just go, just go to your DVD collection and rewatch Flubber.
You'll have a lovely time of DVD collection into your shed.
Lock it from the inside.
And out.
And leave, leave you Ferrari running.
How do they make bread and no wheat in? How do they make bread no wheat
Well, I would we could we did indeed we did indeed and yeah a tremendous amount of fun and
It was at by all
Absolutely right yes
To men
I would say except for possibly two of the people
are calling this intro.
But I want to say too much fun was set by one of us.
And you know what?
It's a balancing act, isn't it?
There is a certain amount of fun, and occasionally
it's shared three ways, but not often.
No, that's true.
That's true. There's only so much fun to go around this group.
That's it.
Absolutely.
There's not some sort of magic funtry out there.
It's just, this is it.
Although I tell you what, I would there were.
I would there were.
I would there were a magic funtry.
Right, very quick, very quick reminder guys.
Papi's flat share, Christmas special.
11th of December, 5.30pm, 21-cyho, get tickets from the show from TicketTex.co.uk or in the show notes and patreon.com, forwards that's
happy's Flashback, get a two-quid off, tickets for a tenor, a Crimbo note.
Crimbo note, mate. Just think you're going to get at least a couple
of Crimbo notes on the big day. So you're putting one, it's coming straight out of a card, straight
into a rainbow show. But you can't get more fat when it's been a rainbow note. Fantastic
with a rainbow note. Exactly. Right, well, I'll see you at the show, folks. Have a wonderful
time. Back next week with a flat share slam down with Jen Ives and Will Duggan. Should be lost.
I'm a thug.
October's just absolutely dissolved. We will see you next week. Today's episode was
produced by a McCorsham.
Corsham team.
Cheers everyone. Bye.
Will you please be upstanding? We're a Patreon neighborhood wide!
Roar! Call everybody!
Oh yeah!
Oh!
Let me tell you something!
Now I was really running!
But now I'm in the basement and I touched the
problem
it tells worse than it was we just shook hands and then had a wash Who? And I conclude to our Patreon, never watch RollCorn.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
Let me tell you now, let me tell you true, I've been down to the basement and I've got
something to tell you. Let me show you what I've been up to my friend. I've seen a
little fellow who's driven me around the bend. I've been up a hill and I fall down hard
and I run around and I get in the car. I say, I wish I wasn't in a car, wish I was on a horse,
because a horse would take me round a full race course.
And I love a horse, because it's got a hoof,
and when I was in the basement, I met Foof.
Well, woo.
Woo.
Woo.
Well, I'd be down to the basement. I should probably leave her
I won't go down there again. Sorry, Hayley Beaver. Sorry Hayley Beaver
I'm done with basement and I wear the potry and I bought a leaf
Donner, I glued it to my knee and then I took it in the house where I was quite sick into the face and hands
Oh John, John, John, we're going to the moon
Oh John, John, we're going to the moon
Well, I went to church because that's what I do and when I was there I pulled up a pew I said hello my name is Matthew and she said hello my name is Joanne McHugh
Oh bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo I did him pass. I got a problem. I'm mighty thick.
Well at least my friend date, Thomas Markwick.
He's got a problem. He's got a big dick.
He goes down the basement and he looks around and I walked up to him and said, hey Neil Robert's
time to get to bed.
Oh, get to bed Neil, Robert's my friend.
Oh, I went to the basement, the basement of the church.
I couldn't believe it, it made my heart hurt because I saw some things I didn't want to see,
and I saw a monkey climbing up a tree.
And when I saw my friends there, I thought everybody's going to stop and stare,
because there was a fella saying, please don't do this,
but I touched him anyway, His name was Adrian Lewis.
Oh, well, I went down the base, but it was Marty.
Doc, I said, hey, man, you sure you can see me?
He said yes. He's a genius. Yes. I hate my carrots, my name is Jimmy P.
A jimmy.
Yes, he's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy.
He's a jimmy. He's a jimmy. He's a jimmy. He's a jimmy. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's like theaters December 15th.