Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (...into a volcano) S10E25
Episode Date: April 13, 2020Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Falling, sliding and heavy petting their way through lifePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.p...atreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey, it's Matthew here. Welcome to an episode of Pappy's Flat Share House Meeting. I should just say
before we begin that obviously this was recorded pre-lockdown. It was recorded P-L backstage at
the Flat Share Slamdown, the last Flat Share Slamdown live one that we did, which will be coming out
next month, start of next month. So look forward to that. But yeah, just so you know, this
is recorded pre-lockdown. If you are looking for extra entertainment during lockdown, can
I please recommend Pappy's flat share lockdown? We've been doing these daily episodes. We're
having a load of fun doing them. They're over on our Patreon. If you go to our Patreon
and pledge $5 a month or above, I mean, that's like, forquid, I think it is.
It's about four pound a month or above.
You get a daily episode of something extra
from the podcast and the episodes we've been doing,
the flagship lockdowns have been really, really fun.
And we actually just recorded a sexy episode of,
I mean, who doesn't want that?
A sexy episode of a flagship lockdown called who doesn't want that? A sexy episode of Flat Share Lockdown called
Love Sex Shagdown, which you have to hear. It's really, really fantastic. So get over to our Patreon,
patreon.com, forward slash, Papi's Flat Share, and we will see you there in the meantime. Enjoy this episode.
this episode. Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew. Hello. Hello. We hope this finds you well and happy. We are currently in a basement in a pub. Yes, we
are about to record another one of our fantastic Flatsheast Lamb Downs. A famous Flatsheast
Lamb Downs. A famous Flatsheast Lamblams and do come along to a live recording if you ever get a chance.
Also as well, we always say, do join the Patreon because the Patreon goes from strength to bloody strength.
Look at it as joining a cool hip group.
Sure, absolutely. Look at it as joining a cool hip group.
And after a cool after school club.
Absolutely right. Everyone has loads of fun.
Yeah, so you'll make loads of new friends. Hop on your skateboard and skate over to patreon.com.
Yeah, in roll. The forms up on the pinboard. Oh, sorry.
I didn't know I didn't know I was on the job because I know the riff is the riff is very important.
The riff is always important, but crucially they don don't have the address. The address of the pinboard.
The pinboard, you put it in there.
On Patreon.com, forward slash,
Papis Flatship.
And that's just outside the art department.
Just outside the art department.
Pinboard.
Yeah.
We drop a brand new bonus episode.
Some really, really funny bonus episodes
that come out recently.
Every single Thursday, straight in,
you can get it like an RSS feed,
so you don't have to just go on to the Patreon
and listen to it there, you get an RSS feed.
It's just like a normal podcast.
Sling it right up your gut.
We sling it right up your RSS feed, guys.
We just chuck it right out, yeah.
If you just get your RSS feed, spread it,
face the sun, and then whoop, up it goes.
Do you know what it feels like actually?
Because I don't know if you've had
any of our bonus content, but you know what it feels like actually? Cause I don't know if you've had any of our bonus content,
but you know in an old fashioned bank,
when they have that tube,
that they would stick a little bit of parchment
and a container and straight up a pipe
and then it would fire around.
I like a suppository.
A couple of centimeters in and then,
and then the body takes, yeah, absolutely.
So all you need to do is give us a mere five dollars
a month and let your body take it to the worst.
You're worth receiving that first two cent of meters, that's you giving us the five dollars.
Receive our bodies pods like a little suppose.
The body will do the rest.
And I suppose it's time to start the episode.
Mark, you want to talk about this week?
Oh, we talk about a load of old tut.
Yeah, really.
So, absolutely a load of old tut.
I was so fucking nonsense.
Good, good.
But I hope you enjoy it, because we certainly do.
Yeah.
And we love you very much, and we'll see you on the...
What?
Sorry?
What?
Did it...
I said we'll see you on the other side.
Oh, no before...
Oh, I hope you enjoyed the episode.
I was gonna be...
You didn't say anything.
No, I think... I think that was it. So, we hope you enjoyed the episode. was gonna be you didn't say anything no I think I think that was it so we're
Hope you enjoyed the episode I miss you so much I love you and I and I can't
Sorry to what if I can't wait to see you on the other side that's all right enjoy
the episode really I can't wait to see you on the other side
I'll do I know
I can love you call me
I've had a thought.
I've got an issue.
I've got a question I want to ask you.
I want to talk.
I want a chat.
OK, let's sit down and chew the fat.
Has meeting.
What temperature should we set the heat to?
Has meeting.
Why on earth am I always waiting?
Has meeting.
Has meeting.
Who went my bed while I was sleeping?
There's a house meeting
Beating, beating, beating
What's the point? Does life have a meeting?
Have meeting
Yeah
What's the vibe guys?
Have you noticed my...
Oh no, you've gone for it
Oh my god, do you actually want the deal?
Yeah, well David, you already owned a pair of cowboy boots.
Yeah, I know.
It's the same now.
Tom is wearing a pair of cowboy boots.
He's shown up with the full, yeah, the full boots on.
Talk us through how you came to be in possession
of a pair of cowboy boots.
My friend got married in Texas on a ranch.
Most of my exes are in Texas.
Oh really?
It's true.
That's not actually true, they're mostly
in the Bromley and surrounding area. But yeah, so your friend got married in Texas. And they had a
cowboy themed wedding or a ranch. Perfect. So I was dressed as a cowboy. We were all dressed as
cowboys. Themed wedding is a tricky thing to pull off. Yes.
Well, especially if the theme is like cowboys
and you're in the middle of cowboy country.
And everyone there was British.
It was like, it was a small wedding, right?
20 others.
We'd all come over from either Edinburgh or Wolverhampton.
Yes.
And we were all being cowboys,
surrounded by the staff who were actually from Texas.
And actually, in many,
and probably actually, cowboys. it was a ranch in Texas.
It was quite...
Yeah, and how was, what was the,
I mean, I'm sure the vibe was good,
because it was a wedding and I'm always trying to...
Yeah, I'm also the, like, in Texas,
being a cowboy isn't like fancy dress.
Like these boots aren't, these aren't cowboy boots.
I mean, for walking, aren't they?
They're not cowboy boots, they're workmen's boots.
Like, you buy these in a workmen store,
you also buy your stepsons in a workmen store.
People wear them, you know, you can fancy dress,
it's like you wear them in your struggling.
There was no one there who had the sort of the fake legs
hanging over a donkey type thing.
No, no one did that one.
No one was the Brian Hatton,
the last son, Brero, with the droopy Mr. Arshon, or anything like that. No, no one did the one. No one was the Brian Hatton, the nice son Brero with the droopy Mr. Hoshon, or anything like that.
No, the father of the groom, father of the groom
had a show of spadging, so I did this little waistcoat
that he had.
I think inside the waistcoat's where I'd had it.
Which was a lovely bit of business.
Yeah.
Marie Archie band.
Oh, yes.
I've never been to a themed wedding.
I don't think I have actually.
My cousin, Adam, had Christmas themed wedding. I don't think I have actually. On my cousin, Adam had Christmas themed wedding.
Whoa, yeah.
It was fun of you.
It was fantastic.
Well, he wanted to get married on,
he got married in 2012, and he got married on.
Christmas time.
Christmas time, exactly.
Yeah, famously.
That whole year was themed around Christmas.
It was a good year.
Basically, as soon as the Olympics finished,
we were like, well, let's have Christmas now, shall we?
Yeah, no, so it was, he wanted to to get around the 12th the 12th the 12th
So he got married he's a satanist
He is he's double double
They're together. They are two satanists as a married couple
but so they decided to get married in December on like a Wednesday or something whatever
just so they had the nice date of its own 12 12 on the invite and
And then and then they had got you got on the invite. And then they had...
You got on.
On the invite, I'd have had one, two, one, two, you know, you one, two.
Oh, that was good.
Testing, testing, one, two, one, two, one, two.
And...
LAUGHTER
So their first dance was all on what Christmas is you?
Great!
We had Christmas dinner for the wedding reception.
This is really good.
They played the Boobley Christmas album
while that was happening.
It was great. It was great fun.
I really liked that.
It was, you know what, it was absolutely perfect.
Photos were a nightmare because it was freezing.
Vickardress the Santa?
Too much.
DeVickard, I wasn't there in the ceremony.
I didn't go to the ceremony.
I was just in the evening.
Evening evening. It wasn't evening. It was like the ceremony. I didn't go to the ceremony. I was just in the evening.
Evening evening.
It wasn't evening.
It was like the ceremony happened with maybe like 15 people.
And then...
Right, a big part.
Everybody switched words.
You know what?
You know.
You just keep the app about the ceremony.
You just keep the app about the wedding.
Who just keep the app about the wedding?
Who gives the fuck about the wedding part, the wedding?
Everybody wants the food part, the booze part, the drink part. that's what you want in a wedding, that's what you're after.
Yes. I mean, I suppose, you know, you had Cornish pasties at your wedding.
That's true. It wasn't full on... It wasn't full on...
Southwest. Southwest country. There was flavours. There was flavours.
That's what I was specifically... There was flavours. There was flavours.
Because I thought I was just eating cheese and onion.
There was one flavour.
There was one flavour.
It was cheese and onion pasty with some lovely cheese and onion.
Some lovely onions as well.
So with a lovely, I had a cheese and onion pasty with a cheese and onion chaser.
And you know what?
It hit the spot.
Watch down with a lovely pint of cheese and onion.
I love going just quite a cheese and onion.
A wedding quiche?
I'd love to have had a wedding quiche actually.
It's sort of multi-tiered wedding quiche.
Yes, please.
Or...
Because that's like...
People do the cheese...
The cheese...
The sort of tiered cheese cake.
Yes.
Not cheese, but tiered wheels of cheese.
Wheels of cheese, yeah.
Do you know what?
People enjoy a quiche, don't they? They do. cheese. Wheels of cheese, yeah. Do you know what?
People enjoy a keish, don't they?
They do.
Not a keish.
Wedding cake, sure, they look nice.
But no one gives a fuck about eating the wedding cake.
No one.
Never have it.
Get yourself a keat.
Everybody likes a bit of keish.
Wedding cakes feel like they're always for other people.
Like, not, I don't know.
Because you've only got married once.
Yeah, I was the most the wedding cake you see.
Most of the wedding cakes you've seen,
Harry, have been for other people. It's because you've always got told off a cut. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you go to, take a little miniature of yourself, pop it on top of the cake between the bride and
groom as little gag. What's the sum tax of that? Let's chase that out and get out. You'd be like
kind of going, like in a kind of photo bombing, a photo bombing kind of. A photo bombing, sure,
sure, sure, that's rather than a throttle. That's what it does. Or it should have been me.
You know, if you put yourself in there and knock one of them over.
Okay, no, what if it's like arms right, you know, like it's like,
you're in an all-in-one position, you can't do it.
You're going to make a lot of it.
I'll see what it should be, Tom.
Up on shoulders.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Although, you get it, so Tom's there,
has he got the groom on his shoulders and the bride on the groom shoulders?
Yeah, the bride on the groom shoulders shoulders? Yeah a wedding totem. Yeah
Wedding totem
Wedding totes a nice tradition to bring in totem poles have really fell a fall in that favor
I don't think I think I think you maybe I know you were in cowboy boots
I know it doesn't look like the sort of thing a Calibur-booted guy would say.
But I don't think we got rid of that.
We got rid of that.
I don't think that that's, I mean.
When you were a kid, you see, they seem to play
a bigger pile in your day today.
Yeah, I think they would often be,
they're often me, I've totem pole in, say, an adventure playground.
Yes, absolutely.
The adventure, you know, the adventure playground,
one of the adventures might be walking past a tight-knit
One of the adventure.
What is the adventure of an adventure playground apart from woodchippings?
What's the actual adventure?
Well, it's thanks to the woodchippings that you can't have the adventure.
Because if you fall and you land on the concrete.
The woodchippings say, go for your fucking guns here.
It's one of the worst shipping sacks. This is softer by a tiny amount than gravel.
How are you rid of thing today, though, speaking of this?
What?
I did, yeah.
Did you?
I rid of thing today.
Would chip a month later.
Is reading it.
At least, now this is a horrible story.
Uh-oh.
But it's about, did you read about this, the guy who tried to bump off his wife by cutting the cables of a parachute?
Yes. Did you read about this thing?
Yes. Now what I didn't realize is, he was in the army. Yeah, that's right. Now what I didn't realize about this is that she, I'm sorry, I don't know, I've got a giggle in my voice because it's not a funny story. Oh dear. It's not a funny story, but she survived the 4,000 foot drop.
No.
Because, and they said it in the,
I was reading on the BBC News website,
because she, she, she landed in a recently plowed field.
I've never heard about that.
I've never heard about that in the past.
I've heard of people like surviving.
Here's the thing, if you land on water off a bridge, you die.
Yeah. So how do you go from a plane to the ground, the Earth, the sod, the recently plowed sod?
The recently...
I'll give you that.
Recently plowed sod.
Look at the sod.
I've got a little reel springing this step.
That's what I've got recently plowed.
How do you manage that?
Yeah, it seems to completely beg of a leaf, but...
I don't think she, I don't think she hopped up
Dustin herself off and said, sorry about those carrots,
but I think still, she's alive to tell the tale.
And you're probably landing on your,
your legs are gonna take the brunt aren't they?
I think when you, from bridge to water,
you're kind of head.
Yeah, she's too short at that.
The legs are still in the recently planned field.
Water them, and they will grow.
But yeah, so because when I was at school,
the PE teacher used to spray a hose onto the pool.
You know, like if you were to jump to break the water.
To break the water.
And I thought, I don't.
Isn't that sort of nature's way of saying, don't jump off the high diving board?
I mean, I know the high diving board isn't naturally occurring.
But if you have to, I didn't spray the water to break through.
He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of
fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water.
He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of the water. He had a lot of fish of That was a problem. But he would stand there and should have gone later.
Should have gone later, should not have.
Should have gone with year 11 there.
Should have gone with year 11 there.
I mean, there is still a lot wrong with it.
Everything wrong with year 11.
I'm just going to make a few fight.
Of course.
Actually, I tell you, you could spray the tension with the hose in here.
Hang on, you saying you spray the top of a water of a swim pool.
And it makes it. On the top of the water. Yeah, the top of the water. Try spraying it in the bit of the water, water of a swim pool.
And it makes it, yeah, the top of the water.
Try spraying it in the bit of the water
and you're making a real duckle on it.
You're on your hands.
Yeah, it breaks the surface tension.
They have it on diving competitions.
They have like a water kind of jet
just kind of naturally, not naturally,
but firing out to, I'm sure they do.
Yeah, so it breaks the surface tension.
So when you hit the water, you're not hitting it like,
because apparently if, you know, say you jumped in the first
thing and it's just been left overnight,
especially if it was freezing cold.
Yeah.
You don't go out.
It's like hitting a block of concrete.
Let me tell you that.
You didn't spray that rink with a comb.
I, you don't believe that. I've never spray that rink with a comb. I... I...
You don't believe me.
I've never heard that before.
You know that.
No, that's what that's the hang on going for.
I'm not going for it, I don't believe you.
No, that's a very...
That shows I think...
I think I think...
I think you believe that it happens.
I don't think you believe it does that, I think.
Yeah.
You think people do it, but it's like, it's madness.
I think it's belt and braces on a pair of tight trousers.
You don't need to be done at all.
Absolutely.
Well, I don't, I mean, I don't think they do it in diving competitions.
And I think if they, if you don't, like, for example,
at Crystal Palace swimming baths,
that's where they all practice their diving.
They don't do it in their pool.
It's like you've got people training
for the Olympics there and diving teams
and it's like they're not doing it there.
I don't want to say that.
Can I just say, can I just say,
I want to say that it's...
I wasn't actually taking part in the diving,
I didn't want to, I found it too scary.
I was actually sat on the seats watching him
and I could only see him from behind.
So maybe it wasn't a high risk.
How high, what's your, you know,
how are you off of high diving boards?
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
If I go on holiday and there's like a,
you know, the sea in a high rock
and people are all jumping off it,
I'm not doing that either.
No, that's really scary though.
But even if like sort of...
Are you a run on bomb in the, you know,
knees up to your chest kind of guy?
Knees up to my chest before I even get into the pool.
Right, yeah, yeah.
And you just roll.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not fun.
I'm sitting in the car park, knees up to my chest going, don't give me near the wars.
That's right.
No, I've never, I've never, hang on a second,
let's go through it.
I've never ducked, I've never dived, I've never bombed.
What?
And I've never heavy-petted.
Hold on.
A bay, the rules.
You've never, you've never kissed a girl.
I'm not under the water.
Not in the swimming pool.
No, I've kissed girls and, did you like it?
Well, I'll tell you my exes.
Let's get it all around Texas.
Speak to them.
I've kissed girls and... And did you like it?
Well, I'll tell you my exes.
Let's get it all around Texas.
Speak to them.
Speak to them.
Speak to them.
Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them.
Speak to them.
Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them.
Speak to them. Speak to them.
Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them.
Speak to them.
Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak to them. Speak did. There's almost no peace. You were seeing the blue side.
It's okay.
So you ducked, yeah?
Yeah, and you're ducking in.
I'll duck again, too, right.
Well, this is on the list.
Diving, diving.
It'll be a diving.
Bombing, I'm not.
Bombing, I'm heavy betting.
I don't think so, not a public pulls.
Have you ever sammaged into the pool?
Whoa, what's that? As a fan of love, I've never seen. Sammaged into the pool? Whoa, as a fan of love.
Isn't that when you samm an out of a pool?
Is it like firing it through the pool?
No, that's what they do, no, they do it into the pool.
So when they get...
I don't know, I tear a sammling out of the pool,
that's better.
I mean, it's you get out of the pool, it's like
really, and then you're straight on to the side
on your chest.
Really impressive if you can do it.
But yeah, so no, they would...
Straight on to the side to be by a brown bear.
They'd say, John Weston, they would... Straight onto the side to be by a brown bear. They'd say.
A John West, you'd John West salmon out the pool.
Lucky just John West out of the pool.
So no, if they get good news on Love Island,
all the guys and girls throw off their microphones
and salmon into the pool,
which is like they leap into the air, sideways,
and they make their body straight,
and they sort of flip their body around like a salmon
about to hit the water.
I think salmon into the pool.
So have you ever done that?
No.
Worth an ask.
Parry, I've seen you've done the full gamut of the...
I think I've done the four, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, you've done them all.
Of course you have.
Yeah.
Certainly.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You must have dived in.
Bombed. Bombed. Crossbeak. Bombed a silly beast. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You must have dived in.
Bombed.
Crossbeak.
Bombed a few gigs.
I've done it, but yeah, absolutely.
Bombed, I mean, yeah.
Heavy-period, if you could, you'd have done more of the gigs.
Oh, absolutely.
I've done, I've done a bit of diving to start off.
Then I start to bomb.
Quick bit of audience interaction,
and I'm ejective from the game.
Yeah.
Ha, ha, ha. Yes. But do you go and see Tom Solo show?
Advertise three times probably, do you think you've got to live for a couple of years?
I think it's about time we put in an effort for you.
PSO show, certainly.
I think it's...
What's up?
Can I just say, yeah, I think this is going on April the 14th, so it will have passed. But it's time, time.
We're not going to stop advertising for it though.
We're never going to stop advertising, you're so high-run.
Are you going to take it out on tour?
I hear you're doing leisure centres.
Tour of leisure centres.
It's the one I'm getting to, Hortie.
Oh my God, we did, do you remember when we did a gig in a swimming pool?
Yes.
That was regrettable.
How did that play? I don't think I made that one.
Right, now I've got a couple of memories of it. Yeah, go ahead. The first one was
Clarkie Samining in to make his entrance. The first one was that I got changed into my trunks
and because it was pre, that was the noise I made it. Yeah, no, no. I got changed into my trunks. And because it was pre-gig, I thought,
shall I get some beers in?
Was that where you were going to?
No, no, that wasn't.
So I went into the bar.
And I thought, hadn't gone the bar of the hotel
of the place.
Right, so it was like, it was a swimming pool
in a sort of a spar bit of a hotel right?
I would turn it to an edin revenge. Yes, and
so I'm picturing automatically quite a small swimming pool. The hotel swimming pool
are always really weird size. It wasn't tiny. No, it was I would say it was like maybe like
10, 15 meters. Yeah, it was, yeah, it was big-ish. A small audience.
Yeah.
A small audience there.
So I wanted into the-
Did they know that there was going to be a gig?
I think the people doing acro-robics were a little bit out.
Right, but I wanted into the bar and then immediately I was like,
oh yeah, I'm in my trunks, in the bar.
But I'd walked into the bar by that point,
so I ordered the drinks and sort of just sat at the bar
just in your trunks.
You just did my trunks, sort of quite casual,
and then the manager came over and said,
hi, yeah, you can't be in the bar in just your trunks.
And I said, I'll just order some drinks, you know.
Well, I'll let you get the drinks
and then you have to leave and go back to the swimming pool.
And what he didn't notice is I basically ordered them for all of the acts.
So I then had like a massive tray of drinks and I walked back into the gig.
But in the time it had taken me to order the drinks and get the drinks everything.
The gig had started. So I walked in through the double doors with a big tray of drinks
and the gig basically just stopped.
And they sort of looked at me and I had to sort of sit down and hand out of drinks and the gig basically just stopped and they sort of looked at me and
I had to sort of sit down and hand out the drinks and everything. It was pretty awkward stuff.
It was pretty... It's one of those ones where it felt like, oh this is going to be like crazy
and loads of fun and there's going to be like a real atmosphere because it's like, oh it's all
but it's not but actually yeah, it's just... That's never the case is it? No, let's be honest, a gig
anywhere else that isn't just a decently set up gig.
Yeah.
It's not going to end well.
And a problem with that.
We could go live with the shop and we're a library.
Yeah.
A museum.
But also as well, we should say, we were in the pool.
Yeah, the gig.
That's the, the always was set on the side.
And we decided to, when we were doing the sketches, instead of going off stage to go under the water.
Yeah, remember that as well?
I do remember that.
That was my abiding memory of just being under the water
and kind of hoping you could hear enough
for what the queue was gonna be.
Yeah, I hope you didn't run out of oxygen.
So it was gonna be really funny and actually, you know.
Well, it wasn't because you just bothered up
and you were out of breath
and no one really sort of acknowledged
that that was what was going on
because they were sort of watching that,
trying to hear you as well.
The other thing he realised is the acoustics in a swimming pool, they're not great.
Well I tell you what, it's a surf adventure.
If you got a pose.
This is it.
I was trying to...
You guys were sat on top of the water weren't you wait?
If someone's coming on the hose, you could fall under it.
We were sat on top of the water, and if it was just a round...
Yeah, it's just solid, solid water it was.
But anyway, not a strong gig, not our finest hour,
but yeah, we've gigged all over the place
and it's never as much fun as gigging in a comedy club.
Yes.
Or a theater.
Exactly right.
Gigs in odd places, it always feels like
we're gonna do something crazy.
But also as well, everybody who comes on,
like occasionally you can do a bit of funny stuff
about the room, but if everyone's in a swimming pool,
all the material's sort of gone, isn't it?
There's a weirdness of the gig has been acknowledged
by everyone in the audience anyway.
You're not point to get out of them,
you're not going, oh look, it's a bit strange, isn't it?
We're in a swimming pool, everyone goes, yeah,
to know, to a swimming pool.
It was our friend's venue, wasn't it?
There was another sketch group were in there.
That's right, yeah, the day of worms.
Yeah, they all got like, air infections and stuff.
Yeah, because they perform their entire hour long show
every day from the swimming pool.
Yeah.
Poor things.
Poor things.
Poor loves.
Poor loves.
Oh, it's no good.
It's no good.
Sketch comedy is a strange old world, isn't it, really?
If you could, I kind it really? I was thinking back
yesterday I think about it like a couple like the thing of like going out to do sketches and stuff
and I thought, oh, I've forgotten that's what we used to do. Yeah, I actually funnily enough,
I had a real abiding memory of it like yesterday as well, I was like, I was going up to a gate,
going up to a gate and just thinking,
oh, just remember lugging the massive bag of props.
When you were the unlucky one who had to take
this absolutely gargantuan bag across London.
And also, when everyone else is, you know,
they've finished their sets, they've, you know,
they're down in the bar, they're having a drink, you're still there, sort of,
scrabbling around on the floor, going, well, there's a leather glove here somewhere
that has been thrown into the sky, you know, with delightful care free abandoned.
And now all three of us are on our hands and knees going, right, where the fuck is this
stupid leather glove?
Because if we don't have it, we've got a gig tomorrow night and we can't do that gig.
In fact, that's why I got my memory from.
The story I was telling that I remembered
was we used to have a sketch,
the Moristancing sketch,
didn't we? It was pre-2012,
and we'd Moristance for quite a lot long time.
We'd open gigs by Moristancing.
And making it like really long,
and it would be, I do this, it's funny,
then it would get unfunny, then it'd get funny again.
And then we always knew we had the punch line,
which was hold up the sign, hold at the sign.
It was at PIX 2012.
Olympics 2012, and one of us had said
worst opening ceremony ever.
Because there was a lot of worry about whether
the Olympic opening ceremony was gonna be any good,
could Britain pull it off?
Of course, we didn't know what Danny Boyd had up his sleeve.
What a guy, we didn't know Branagh was there.
Lots of freshly plow fields.
So many frzzles.
I haven't seen the stovepipe hats being delivered.
Exactly. Exactly.
Let's be honest, the stovepipe hat was a bit,
was a bit, you're a bit worried when the stovepipe hat was going to go off.
It was a bump in the road that bit.
Like the stovepipe hat, you're like, is this going to be okay?
Because if it's this for an hour,
if it's all stovepipe hats,
if it's full stovepipe, if they haven't checked the calendar and? Because if it's this for an hour. If it's all Stove Pipaats. If it's Fulstove Pipaats.
If they haven't checked the calendar and don't know it's 2012.
Yeah.
And not 18-12.
And if it's basically all around Stove Pipaats, we're in trouble here.
If Dali Boil's gone in and just gone like,
if Linken shows up, it's like this is...
Then we need John Wilkes' proof to show up pretty fucking shabby.
It's a Stove Pipaap parade.
It's a Stove Pipaap hat.
It's a Stove Pipaap.
Don't give your favor a Stove Pipaepipe hat, whereas I can't say it.
Stovepipe hat.
Stovepipe hat.
Stovepipe hat.
Stovepipe hat.
My favourite stovepipe hat, whereas there's two.
I can't think of any others.
Come on.
Well, Bacon.
Anastasia himself.
Yeah.
I.K. Brunel.
Of course.
That's pretty much it, isn't it?
Branna.
Branna. Of course Brunel. Of course. That's pretty much it, isn't it? Branna.
Branna.
Of course, Branna.
But yeah, so you saw a Steve pipe hat and you thought it took you back to the Olympics.
No, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Paul? It really went down the Stowe pipe hat, because what I was thinking, you've got the cowboy boots.
Maybe I get myself a Stowe pipe hat.
OK.
So you want to bump up your thighs,
you're not going for the heels, you're going for the hair.
I'm going to bump the thighs up, going the other way.
Clocky, you need to pick another method to improve your height.
Oh no, a really long belt.
Are you going gonna hang yourself. I will stretch you out, certainly.
Yeah, the thing I remember is I was going out and doing the dance and there's Morris dancing and then Morris dancing and then
Clarke coming up to me and being we haven't got the sign
and then having to dance I would be like we haven't got the sign and we all just realised that
we were just Morris dancing. Yeah so we all got the giggle. We're two minutes into a four minute long
Morris dance and we're all going to the side and we know know where they're going to the side. And also I think that might have been one of those ones
where it was a bit of a convincing, you know.
We were doing it and we didn't quite have the audience on side
and you know they weren't necessarily, sometimes you come out
and the Morris dancing starts and they get, people go,
oh fine, this will be silly.
But other times they're not quite on side.
And we know these guys.
But just by simply ending the Morris dance and saying,
good evening,
we're not going to have an easy next 25 minutes.
And we've already got the giggles,
so we're thinking, like, we're looking like
to the crowd, these guys think this is hilarious.
Yeah, we're just like Morris,
and then we just finished and kind of went,
tadaa, tadaa, tadaa.
So everybody,
in never through one of us might have said what normally happens here in
the last even worse, but two other memories of the Morris dancing sketch.
And a memory of the Morris dancing sketch.
One of my favorite was a Charlie Little Theatre when I went off the stage, you remember, and
you had to catch me. I danced off the edge of the stage and you grabbed me by the arm
and pulled me back up, and near miss, however. However, the coot of the second story.
Peace was, was Krakhi, now you, at the Lyric Hammsworth?
At the Lyric Hammsworth, big gig. Big gig, baby.
Nice big theatre there, probably 400, 500 people in the audience.
A shiny floor.
A shiny floor.
A well waxed floor.
A well waxed floor.
And I believe...
No, I wanted broke the surface with a hose break.
It was perilous.
I also think...
I hope broke it with my elbow instead.
I think we may have even done a sketch
where we'd squirted water all over the place before we'd started the gig.
That sounds like us.
And...
Just... You, like, you went from... Went so...
You went from standing to completely on the ground so fast.
Yeah, it was a real delight.
It was really good.
It was really.
And also again, I think what probably happened there is the audience went,
ooh, and myself and Perry just started cracking up laughing.
Yeah, I think I did too.
Did you go face first as well? Did you go chin first?
I think I went side down, but it was like there was no nothing hit the floor before my entire body hit the floor.
It wasn't like me and then a hand and then it was just like I'm entirely upright. I'm entirely parallel
Yes, what
Which which I think actually is like a good way to fall is it?
Yeah, I think so I don't know if it is spread you spread the impact I
Supposed I suppose it didn't give you a chance to tense your body, because that's what they say, isn't it?
If somebody's drunk, they'll often not injure themselves.
Yeah, because they're falling onto a freshly played field.
Exactly.
They're falling onto a freshly played field.
They're so drunk, they've strayed into farming territory.
They're so drunk, they're so drunk.
They're so drunk, they've just packed a normal rucksack instead of very apparitions.
And when they go to pull this string, shrump down they go, but luckily,, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very Here's the thing right when when when you do like When you do guys when you do
Very exciting part in the show where Clarkie gives us some tips from the dojo here we go
Clarkie's don't show the way to fall there. It was it never to put your hand down. Yeah, because you break your at your wrist
Yeah, you can you can really hurt you said yes or's to trail you down and to slap the mat with your full arm.
But crucially, there's a mat, isn't there?
Oh, there's a mat.
That's an important factor.
Well, there's mat on this woodchipping.
You better switch it to it, you can the adventure playground again.
You know there's been complaints about that,
but you know, the kids are the only people I can be.
Clockies are cool in the adventure playground.
He comes. He will fight me.
He's black belt. He's a very big black belt
to try and improve my size somehow, I don't know.
It's not as much a black belt as a black girdle you're wearing.
It's more like a...
It's like a girdle, man.
LAUGHTER
Who is that recently plowed field?
LAUGHTER
So what you do is you fall down and you slap the mat...
You just slap them up spread out the surface area.
Yeah. Is that the idea?
Yeah. That's the same in wrestling as well, to give the effect of big impact on the ground.
Oh, I see. Yeah. So make the noise as well.
I'll put it again. It's a sprung floor. It takes the impact off of you.
It does help. It takes the impact off of you.
Yeah. It puts the makes it out. I don't think the advice if you fall on concrete hit the concrete
But I think maybe I do think of like it's gonna be better than
Some in some circumstances better than putting your arm out and
Better than putting an elbow out that kind of thing well
If you're going down hard if you're going down
If you're going if you're going down hard. If you're going down, go down four. If you're going in.
If you're going down, go down completely.
If you're going down, go down down
as Mickey Flannie gave us a say.
Always it's a squire.
One of the two.
But speaking of falling, my sister at,
we're all at that nightclub.
Do you remember we used to go to the nightclub
after we do our papi shows?
And I saw my sister fall and rather than rescue herself,
rescued the wine glass, which is the classic drunk fall,
isn't it, where she was like, right, I'm going down.
Again, you know, it was a sort of studenty nightclub,
slippery floor, she saw she was going down
and the wine glass went above the head first,
and then the rest of her went down.
And she had a chin bruise for,
yeah, the jelly chin bruise
that actually genuinely made her look like Abraham Lincoln.
Because she had that, she had the,
the Abraham Lincoln chin bruise,
the whole, the entire chin got bruised
because she took it to wine.
Save it, she saved the peanut grease, so you know.
Wow.
And also, she manipulated the wine.
She manipulated the wine, yeah, and lay herself down for, you know, for others may live.
We bought a Stope by Pat as well.
She made quite a good living as a trippy at acts to A-blinking.
Not many nightclubs have them, the A-blinking trippy act, but the ones that do get a really
nice crowd.
Tony from Holy Oaks, DJs for a little bit, then they bring out Abraham Lincoln.
It's quite a confused night actually.
It does sound quite confused, doesn't it?
It's a good time of highlight reel of great falls in your life, to think, like to cheer everyone up.
Kind of like, if you could like,
you know, like, if your life flashes before your eyes,
but it's only the times that you've fallen over.
So it looks like an episode of You've Been Frames.
Yeah.
It's kind of like, here you go, here you go.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm basing this on the success of Delboy,
falling through the bar, but you're just thinking. We've all done that. Do you think when Delboy passes away, I mean, David Jason basing this on the success of Delboy falling through the bar. You're just thinking...
Do you think when Delboy passes away, I mean, David Jason, obviously no, Delboy's not a real person.
Do you think when he passes away...
Is Delboy still alive?
Oh, that's a really good question.
Is Delboy still alive?
Um, I assume so.
They haven't killed... They haven't... They haven't done well.
They didn't end it by him falling through the bar into a volcano.
I thought it was a freshly ploughed for you.
No, I think Delboy...
That would be an audacious way to kill off Delboy.
What, he falls into a volcano?
They reenact the falling through the bar, but it's fatal.
They've got the seller open.
So he jumples into the bar.
And he jumbles away to the seller.
And he knocks over loads of kegs
and they just roll on top of him.
Oh mate, what a way to go.
That, you know what, there's nothing
lovely, juggling about that.
No.
So there's absolutely an awful way to go.
If you're going to kill off the Vickardibli.
She eats too many dinners.
She eats, yeah.
She goes, one too many dinners.
That, or the Vince Vaughn way.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Or she jumps into a puddle.
Yeah, that's much better.
And it's much, much deeper than she realized.
It's lava.
And she jumps into a volcano.
She jumps into a volcano.
Basically, it's a series, it's, yeah.
Sit, calm, calm, just recreate their main trick,
but it's our volcano.
Yes, so it always turns out, it's like,
it's just gonna be like aversion of jumping the shark,
but falling into a volcano.
It's Miranda, but she's our volcano.
She's falling over.
Oh no.
Miranda, she loves a funny fall.
She loves a prop. She loves a funny fall. She's going up the stairs of her, of's fallen over. Oh no Miranda's she loves a funny for she loves a prep
She loves a funny. She's going up the stairs of her of her joke shop
She tumbles down and unfortunately what she doesn't realize is her joke. She was built on an active
So yeah, so volcano volcano death for poor old Miranda. It's a real shame. Who else if we who else we got who was the other classic
Renny R to our from Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? Who else have we got? up the volcano. And you're all of his understands. He did that himself. You know what I can tell you what the shortest episode of Mr. Bean I ever saw.
A spotlight appears unfortunately.
A radioactive volcano.
Straight down. A credit spot.
Mercifully shortly.
Mercifully short episode of Mr. Bean.
A merciless short episode of Mr. Bean.
The right way.
David Hague.
David Hague has gone to Riska Cess of volcano
and he's trips and falls.
I can't believe by the way we haven't,
we haven't done the big one here.
No.
Badolts.
Badolts.
Badolts, the classic scene.
Where Harry trips over his cowboy boots, falls into the volcano,
cross me as the stovepipe over his eyes, falls into the volcano, and Clark hangs himself
five miles away from the volcano.
So the final shot is just, there's a pair of boots sticking out the top of the volcano.
I've got a glass of wine above my head, and tribute to my sister,
and the Clarke's feet are just swinging gently in the breeze,
and credit's roll.
Completely hope.
That's what it gets as a recommission.
Yeah.
Chris Hart and the Hig Band, and then,
slow cross-fade to a field of poppies.
Dacious.
Audacious.
And audacious ending to this.
Now, I think just such a funny thing to do at the end of the final.
We really should have done that.
We just suddenly came over the top, but just completely out of nowhere.
Go and wish we didn't have an ass.
Cross fate to a filler pop, please would have been, I was so wishful of that.
Wish we done.
Well, to be fair, hope we're springing a little more
eternal in our hearts when we made that final episode,
not realizing it was the final episode.
No, although I do think, I think it served as a final episode
as well, you know, like we do.
The way it ended was like, it felt final to me.
I mean, I can't remember it, but yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yes, I do remember yeah
We all fell into a volcano
I think served for us we cross faded to a field of volcanoes
Well, there was a story parachute
Cross-fade him parachute in.
Not in a studio.
Not in a studio.
Not in a studio.
Not in a studio.
Not in a camera of course for you, mate.
Absolutely.
In a comedy drama you could definitely do that.
Of course.
If this was, you know, if this was a succession,
you would definitely definitely have.
Well, if paddles was made nowadays,
it would have been a comedy drama.
And let's not forget that.
Yes, let's not forget.
Let's not forget that. Let's not forget it would have been a comedy drama. I let's not forget that. Yes, let's not forget. Let's not forget that. It would have been a comedy drama.
I don't know how you would have got fewer laughs into it.
Right.
No, because there was talk about, I think
it was the sitcom suddenly Susan that they wanted.
When they knew they'd been counsel,
they wanted for a mysterious figure to come in and get
Susan, the central character, and take her into a lift
and take her down to a basement.
And then the doors were open. And it would a lift, and take her down to a basement.
And then the doors were open, and it would be all of these characters from Council sitcoms, and they'd be like,
this is where you live now, now I live with you know, the cast of, you know,
battles.
Battles for example, I don't think we would have got the call up for that.
I was going to go Charles in charge, but something like that, you know.
But yeah, the audacity of, if it was put like the end of the hills. Did you watch the hills? No, it was like the first ever kind of
structured reality show and at the end of it they were like they were like
Cuts and then all the cameraman came over and like shook their hands was like great take guys and stuff like it's be like it was all
It was all structured reality. Yeah, it structured reality yeah it was all a dream
it was all a dream and then of course they went just by the way just avoid that to
active on the channel and how is this podcast going to end you know like when we
do we like is there something we could do like when we find out we've been
cancelled when a cast get in touch and say sorry guys yeah do we do we like can we how would you do that
with the podcast like how well maybe like a way of like
you pan out and we really live we really do live together I you can't be
now yeah I know I think we're in the same I've got it I've got it I can't be mad with the audience. I think we're in the same...
No, I've got it, I've got it.
Listen, the stop's listening.
We go, that's our final episode, guys.
And then listen to us press his stop
and then looks up and we're in the room with them.
And we say, bye!
We say, cheers everyone!
Bye!
We're right there.
But we have to just do that to every listener.
Wait, no.
I think this is what we have to do.
I think by the time we get cancelled, we'll be about eight people. So that's fine, I think that's doable.
They turn, well we're almost there.
Yeah.
They turn it off, we climb out of there he is.
That's the one.
That's exactly it, like the numbs goals.
At the end of it, they take out their headphones
and we go, now we can finally get out
and we clamber down their shoulder
across their arm through a field into an active volcano
Blackouts
For Kano erupts
We're back out of kids
Welcome back to flat slam
Whoa baby
I'm gonna have a lift, I live in Lonee. I'm meeting.
Whoa baby!
Whoa baby!
Whoa baby!
Whoa baby!
For what a lovely episode.
Whoa baby!
Whoa baby!
Whoa baby!
Done and dusted.
Take another one off the list.
Lovely staff, another one from those four lovable lads.
Happies.
Of course you're team of course.
How does it?
Yeah, that's all.
Yeah, that's all, yeah, yeah, so
So, uh, Felsby's came himself and he's stovepipat
The very rest of the fourth member of the group
Very much so, very much so, uh, so, uh, find us on Facebook, find us on Facebook, find us on Instagram, follow us, um,
Leave us a review on iTunes, five stars, all to do it
Five stars would be great.
Don't fuck around with four stars.
Don't fuck around with four stars.
Please don't fuck around.
And also, of course, we can't stress this enough.
Do not fuck around.
See you very soon, folks.
See you very soon.
I love you very much.
What happened?
Was that something?
No, I just said, I see you soon, folks.
Come to our gigs.
I adore you.
You're my angel.
What's your sweetness? My life's hanger hang on hang on what's going on?
This episode has ever was produced by Emma caution caution team
Cheers everyone
Will you please be upstanding for this week's neighborhood watch roll call
for this week's neighborhood watch roll call. Peace off, bruv. Oh, yeah. Peace off. I ain't doing no roll call up yours, copper.
Oh my god, it's the sound of counterculture. That's right, punk rock forever. You can't say that on the BBC. What?
Listen, right, you total toss pots.
I ain't doing no, Ralkal, because I am an anti-crazy star.
Please.
Please.
Oh, yeah, all right.
You've talked me around.
It's like a key. Whatever. Whatever you do, you don't you've taught me round
Whatever you do don't don't be rude because we're on the BBC
Okay, all right, okay. Thank you. Let's not be rude on the BBC
Got you again
All right, let's here we go right Right, fuck this name's an ard- All right, here we go, let's do this here.
Up yours.
Up your, all right, Bondy, jump yours.
Right, listen, listen up, you twats.
I'm gonna tell you, please.
I'm gonna tell you about this.
Yeah, go on, Bradford.
You're not gonna believe it.
Oh no, please tell him all about him.
Tell him all about him.
That's right, my please.
This guy has an absolute rebel.
He's always gobbin' everywhere.
He's always smashing up his guitar.
And he's always kickin' the drummer in the nut sack.
That's how bad he is.
He's a bad, he's a bad boy. He's a bad boy. He's a bad boy. He's a bad boy.
I apologize for the use of the word nut sack. He's a real, he's a real, he's a real
toss spot. This guy, but you know what? He's a punk rocker, fruit and fruit. And I won't hear
a Jesus Christ. I'm nowhere close to arrives. I won't hear a word Christ, I'm nowhere close to a rives. I won't hear a word against him.
He is a punk rock pioneer. You know what? The other day I said to him,
or in mate, where he, how come you're f**king hell?
I can only apologise for this man's language, he's clearly got a lot
going on. This punk, he's got a lot going on, I'll accept going on. All right. It's going on.
He's going on.
His name is Robert Norrinson.
He's a godlock going on.
He's gone.
I got it.
Yes.
Yeah.
Now listen up, you little rise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just come back.
Now you know,
yeah, I want to say something.
I've wrapped my knob on print shirt.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
I did it in front of my friend, and he was laughing so hard
his head was lollin'.
Yeah.
And then he threw a piece of shit at the queen,
and his name is Colin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you, right Colin. Oh no. Well, my Colin. Yeah. Thank you. Right. Colin. Oh, no.
Well, my mate. Yeah. Oh, no.
He went to back in and pellets.
All right. Yeah. Thank God.
Files. I'm back in and bell is on.
God save the Queen. Yes. The BBC.
He grabbed a union jacket.
What? He threw on the floor.
He threw on the floor. No. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw
on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. He threw on the floor. it's on a boat.
It's a good point.
Why is it the union flag?
I apologize, actually.
Finally, he's on the union flag.
It's a standing on it.
It's a stand on it, is to stand on it. No, he's not.
He's not.
He's not.
Please don't on the flag, stand on.
Thanks for that, yeah.
On the flag, he's stand on.
Who was it?
It was Bob Sandon.
Oh, nice one, Bob Sandon.
We apologize for all the overlessness.
We apologize to no one.
Up your...
Listen, the other day I saw this person and I tell you what,
she was doing a punk rock gig.
She was playing the bass guitar. Bum believe it. I took my union jack flag.
I hopped off the boat. I grabbed my union jack flag. I became a union flag as I stepped off the boat.
As I was getting off the boat. Oh my god. It doesn't matter because I shoved that by ass anyway.
That's how much I was enjoying this punk rock gig and then you're never going to believe
it. After she was playing the bass, she opened her mouth to sing and her voice at the most
delicious and wonderful cadence. That's right. It was Evelyn A. Raidens.
Apologies for those expecting the antics Roach Hill.
Yes, yes. Oh apologies for those expected the antics Roach. Oh Yeah, we'll listen that mate. I'm gonna tell you this watch of the wall
You eat your fucking ear it mate
Mate is so punk rock right? He did it. He did a shit, right?
And then with Princess and he engaged in some nookie. Yeah
He was fucking engaged in some nookie. Yeah. Oh, right.
He was fucking engaged in some nucky after he had a shit.
Oh no.
Do you know who that was?
Engaging in the nookie?
Who was it?
He chased down the flag and shinin.
My name's James Wookie.
Yeah.
He's dirty.
You're dirty, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, he never guess what my mate did.
What did I get to?
Yeah, what I'm saying.
What I'm sorry.
You were at the gig.
Was that, was the gig at sea?
Or was it to land?
Yeah, he was on a gig on a boat, right?
Oh, all right.
He was on a gig on a boat, right? Oh, all right. He's on a cruise. He's on a cruise.
But, but, okay.
But he got with his parents, so you're not going to turn down a free trade.
I'm going to turn a free trade trade trade.
I'm going to turn a free trade trade trade.
I'm going to turn a free trade trade trade.
The thing is all inclusive.
I mean, you know, punk rock's only going to go so far, isn't it?
You know, he's right, man.
Hell of a spread.
He's going to turn a spread. A deal isn't it? You know, he'll be right there. Hell of a spread.
I got to spread a deal.
A deal, the deal.
You know what I mean?
You'll see a deal all inclusive,
fishback brush off you go.
So you get to the buffet, you know,
you take yours, but you're still spit on the rest,
you know what I mean, mate?
What?
You spit on the rest?
You can still be put on a cruise.
Oh no, cruise,
oh no, cruise, but, oh no. And then apologise to all the other passengers. still be public. I'm not a crows. Oh, that crows. Oh, that crows.
But we apologize to all the other passengers.
I've yours.
Yeah, I've yours.
That's what you said to the captain.
I've yours kept in my mind.
I'm a captain.
I've yours.
He's an absolute peace.
What's his name?
He is a peace.
His race.
Race.
Race.
What a age.
What a population. I have to
apologise to all our
listeners and say that concludes
this week's neighborhood watch
roll call. Oh.