Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Mermaids vs Sirens vs Chiles) S13E19

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. We're reminiscing on when Mermaids used to exist and drinking half a pint with Adrian ChilesPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Greetings, listen to Deer, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of The Wonderful Papi's Flat Share House Meeting. Yes, it is wonderful. It's not our place to say, but I think we can safely say that it's pretty wonderful stuff, isn't it? I think, yeah, I mean, it's not, it's, we've rarely been fenced in by what isn't, isn't our place, right?

Hey, he's an idea. Yeah, gone. How do you think the culture world would fare? If all reviews, and hear me out on this, so I think there's something in it. If all reviews were written by the creators. Oh, you know, so you're only allowed to review your own work. So reviewers don't exist.

The only reviews that get published are the people doing the shows. Now I genuinely think, I mean, you had me at reviews don't exist, but I'm not sure the next bit of the plan on that bothered by. I don't think you would get many five stars. No, you'd get very few five star reviews. I think you'd really be able to curb high-curb belief. Yeah, high-curb belief, you call it. High-curb belief, exactly that's part of the project.

The high-curbally project, where everybody has to review themselves. Well, Tom, in which case, let's put it into practice immediately. You've done this episode of House Meeting, you know about it. I mean, admittedly we did record it about a week ago, so you may have forgotten all of it.

But what are you, what? And I tell you what, no, let's let the listeners listen first, and then you can critique it at the end We'll critique it at the end, but before we let the listeners listen to the fantastic. I mean again. I'm reviewing it House meeting You know what I'm gonna give it five stars. I don't care Yeah, that's the broken already. The system crumbles because of my terrible arrogance. But the arrogance, it's built on a scaffolding of object fear.

So that's all arrogance is really, isn't it? It's built on fear. What will have to happen is, if you give a five star review, then a psychologist has to explain why you've given a five star review afterwards. You can have a five star review but you have to then spend a day with a psychologist talking to them and then they write a review on you. So the end is Tom going to be your psychologist? Well he has been for many years in that. We can't broadcast what he's told me about my inner workings. Right, listen, we've got another Papi's Flash air slam down on the 20th of June.

It's hoving in Divi, the 27th of June, and I tell you what else is hoving in Divi, the old sold outside, we're going to have to hang up outside. So if you want to grab your tickets, do it now guys. Tom Davis. It's like that sold outside. We if you want to grab your tickets, do it now guys. Tom Davis. It's by that sold out sign. We are plagued. We're plagued by Tom Davis. It's an estimator. What a line of that is. Estiminator and Tom Davis. Oh great. I'm so excited about this one. It's going to be a good one. So that is happening on the 27th of June at our usual haunt of the Phoenix and Cavendish Square. Get your tickets from papyscomedy.com forward slash live. All of the ticket details are there. If you're the one who buys the last ticket

that causes the sold out, it's signed to go well. Then you've got a gold donation. You've got a gold chance. You get to host the show and I get to review it. No, I've got no. Maybe you don't get that lightly. But yeah, 27th of June at the Phoenix get along to that. Oh, here we go. Is that it? The reviews are in, guys.

The reviews are in. Review the reviewer. Oh, it's harder than it looks. I'll start giving them more credit actually. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the facts. Has meeting, meeting, meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting, meeting, meeting. Why on earth am I always way past? How sweet it is.

Be 10, be 10. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? There's a house meeting. Be 10, be 10. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? How sweet it is. So Mermaid's cropped up this morning.

Oh yeah. The old forny issue. And you say this as if like you would you're by the coast and a few of them were sort of reclining on a rock. Just some seashells. I was actually a logistic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That does bring a good question actually, which is if if mermaids were alive today, what? Yeah, if there was still around is what you mean, yeah. If they hadn't all gone extinct. If they hadn't killed off the bloody mermaid.

Exactly. If the last mermaid wasn't in the natural history museum with a apologetic sign next to it, yeah. Stuffed. Stuffed mermaids. It's like the walrus at the Hornum and Museum. It's been massively overstuffed. The skin is stretched to breaking point. They had no idea how much k-pop they're supposed to stick inside it.

But if they were still around today... The fish tails like three times the size of the... Yes, tiny little... Tiny little waif like top. And then a huge whale tail on the bottom, yeah. That was the fashion back in those days. on the bottom yeah. That was the fashion back in those days. Mermaids used to corset themselves in and then... Anyway, whale tail?

Have you got whale tail? That led to the cruel habit of people killing whales for their tails. Mermaids would actually slaughter whales, they'd gang that together and then slip into its tail. Oh, no wonder All the name of all the name of fire fashion Yeah, so anyway, they they they cropped up this morning you were having a conversation. I'm assuming you'd you're If Burmaids were around today would they be singing modern songs to tempt sailors on to the road? Well, that's given themselves away, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So, I thought Sirens tempted people onto the rocks.

Oh, and Mermaids do the same thing. I didn't know... I thought Siren was a mermaid. Oh, no, why? Part of the question. Part of the question is, are Sirens and mermaids the same thing? Yeah. My experience of mermaids sort of begins and ends with the little mermaid. And yes, she had a sort of haunting song, didn't she? That bewitched... She had that... Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Oh my god he's tempting me can I go on record and say half finish that song

It bewitch people, but I think part of their bewitching was is that it Steer the ship a little closer cuz surely surely we just can't hear it anymore. That's gotta be going somewhere There's gonna be a drop at some point surely It's the equivalent of when my dad walks into a room and goes, erm, and then just leaves the room. Tom, can I just say one thing, it's not your daddy does that? He's tempted us to do it on the last. The Paris on.

We're then meeting him on time, it's a good question, isn't it? Because you think now, you're sort of sailing your ship on stormy waters and think, oh, someone left Radio 3 on. You want something a bit more compelling. Or probably you'd probably keep listening for the ship before cast. Yes, good point, yes. Tell him it's the world service.

Home, yeah, exactly that. So, and the ugly truth that comes with that is that one of their mermaids got a beat box. Oh no. The acropella groups. Tom, I think we've actually come up with a great new show, right? This is a Netflix Disney Plus. You know, the show about everyone who's got a super power and someone doesn't. You know, that show, remarkable, incredible, wonderful, whatever they're called.

The movies run. I'm watching it, that's the mad thing, I'm watching the show, I've got no clue what it's called. It's a good show. By the way, this is, like, just, I've got a sidebar to the sidebar, right? So succession is finished, right? Oh, it's succession finished. And there's been a lot of... Yeah, God. I wish people would talk about it.

I know, I know. They're just like that slip away. So, and there've been lots of sort of tweets going, oh great, now I don't have to pretend I understand what's going on in succession or any episode of succession, I understand to pretend I understand what's going on in succession or any episode of succession I understand about 15% of what's going on and I agree with that but I also think that's true with me of all TV shows. And you know what, like for currently we have we've got

builders working in our house at the moment and every day new people come, so electrician comes, a plumber comes, they put in a new kitchen, there's lots of different people new people come to electrician comes to plummet comes and put in a new kitchen lots of different people people come and we've got we've got a julien we've got a Charlie we've got a Dan and what I need because this is the kind of thing I watch and this is it's made me thicker but I need it now is I watch a TV show where every time a character appears on stage on screen even their name appears you know like I'm doing about selling sunset or you know, married at first sight. Even up to like, you know, you know, we're, you know, you could be 37 episodes

into a series and they're still bringing out. This is Creshell. You're like, I need that now in real life because I've got no clue who anyone is. I also want it to turn into, I want like Julian to arrive and be like, I'm here to do the electricity and you're like, want a cup of tea and then it immediately cuts to an interview with Julian.

I want the tea and I want the fuck I'm doing. I'm here to charge this guy anything I want. So I went to town. I really want the whole experience to be a real FTTV show. Cosby's got the work, it's like, we've got a separate breakaway room for a face-to-face interviews. Where they go to have a cup of tea for two hours. Do you think I'm fetching my tools? I mean, it's lagging him off.

Have you brought up the succession finale with any of the guys working on your house? Not yet. Not yet. It's only taking three. I would. I'd love you to give it a go. Because from the Guardian articles, it's all over the place. working on your house. Not yet, not yet. So you take your words. I'd love you to give it a go. Because from the Guardian articles, it's all over. One's talking about it. It's gripped the public. And I would love to go and give it a go. Do you want a succession finale just to see? You watch the succession less, right? What was I thinking? Oh, Succession less, right? What was I thinking? Oh, I'll ask. I love it. Because when you read the garden, it's like, you can't walk into a shop without talking about the succession finale until...

I mean, to be fair, we've talked about it a lot. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't stop reading about the succession finale. You've never seen the other episodes. Never seen the other episodes. Starting with the finale, it's good, it's a good place to start. It's, do you know what, I could have started with the finale and understood it exactly as much as I had.

That is one of my, that's one of my issues. I feel like you could watch the first episode and the last episode of succession and actually, you're good. I'm sorry. I genuinely think you're good. No spoilers, but they don't all end up happy at the end. Money doesn't suddenly bring them happiness,

you should. You know what? I'm just thinking back and I think you might have a good point near crossbeacuse. Even like, if you go with say the sopranos which I've watched all of and loved, I think 15% might be about right when you go in like well Joe Shamali's in New Jersey and he's got to work the crack and you're like oh yeah yeah yeah they're gonna have to sort something out here, it's really. You got my car. I think you may have watched the porn parody.

I understood it. Joe Shimali watches the crack. My favourite episode? Joe Shimali's gone to Ireland for the crack. You could watch Joe Shimali watches the crack and you're good. You're getting the hold of this crack. Joe Shimali watches the crack again. We're back to Mermaid again. We're back to Secret.

Joe Shimali gets tempted by the mermaids into the crack and then. So I feel, Tom, I feel as if. This show. This show. This show. It is a, it's a little mermaid meets splash, meets like step up to the streets. That's the bit we need.

The normal made related products. You can't do, you can't be enough. It's this. Meet the movie Mermaids with Cher. She wants to sing the shoe song. It's just about nightmare mate. Okay, okay. But we call it the big mermaid. It's going to be a little bit more interesting.

Step up to the streets. Yeah, step up to the street. Can I say it also meets the shape of water? Guys, I just didn't want to. I'm fine. Okay, I can't see you. I didn't want the shape of what was standing in the conversation. And you know, like awkwardly going,

well, should I say something? Say something shape of water. Say, we've got a mermaid involved here. So the mermaid. So very modern. A mermaid, exactly, it's 2023 guys. So the idea is, you know, they're all singing their clarion calls on the rocks, you know.

She is the mermaid who decides to break away, to go on land and make it as a trap emcee. Very modern. Does she bring it back in? Yeah, absolutely. Don't you worry about it. She brings it back every performance. She drops it like it's hot. She brings it back. She picks it up. Don't you worry. No spoilers involved there. She absolutely brings it back.

Step up to the shore. 700 characters. All of them with different, slightly similar names. You don't know who anybody is. All of them got trade. They're always on their way working on, all of them working on cross-least house. They're vying for the bathroom just so they can breathe. Can mermaid no, mermaid's can breathe in air can they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they've got, humour lungs, they don't need gills or anything like that, but tough then. Tough break that. Can they breathe both? Cause they don't seem to have much for problem underwater, either, do they? They breathe underwater as well,

although you see like little bubbles going up, don't you? Is it a bit like they're sort of snorkeling or scuba diving? But yeah, they can definitely, they can chat underwater. They can talk to each other, they can sing underwater. They've got it all. They can do it all.

Can they be, isn't it? But can they be box underwater? Well, that on the walls. They can do it all. It's the kind of thing you miss in it. But can they be boxed on the walls? Well, that's fine now. Can they bring it back? Can they? Can they? Can we have a seat? Huge dubstep beat.

This is an imperfect pitch. Ironically. It's a perfect pitch. It is a perfect pitch. Disney class, if you're listening, we're ready. We're good to go. How's B.J.? Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? How's B.J.? Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.

A woman plotting her course to free them at in that phone. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters, December 15th. Who's our mermaid though? You want someone here and trendy and cool like Sydney Swini to be a mermaid? I don't know who that is like. I mean, she's the means. Which case, yeah, which case, the perfect name. That's how, that's how they can show us. That's good.

They can't show us now by showing a picture of someone to an old person. These brookies walked into a room and said, um, and walked out. Show a picture of Cindy Sweeney. If he goes, oh, yeah, I think I've seen her. Wasn't she in the first series of White Lotus? Out, out, she's not in it.

Yeah. She's lost her street cred. But anyway, you had a couple of questions about Mermaids. The first one was, they sing modern songs. I think the answer of horse has to be yes. What was your other question? What was your overararching question? Well, I had a, my other question was, and I think I learned this morning from a

Card inside the children's snack that mermaid's Tempt sailors with their lovely songs. Oh, I didn't know that was the case But I think they I think they certainly entertain them with their songs But whether I've got feelings they're on their feelings, they're like the only layhouse. I think sirens might be the bad versions of them. I could be wrong, but I think there's something in that as well, I don't know. Oh, so the series is sirens versus lermades.

Oh, hello. Now we're talking. That's so good. And so it's got a little bit of kind of, what was that cheerleading movie? Was it called Bring It On? Bring it on. Yeah. You kind of got the goodies and the baddies. But as it's called Bring little bit of kind of what was that cheerleading movie? Was it called Bring It On? Bring It On? Yeah. You kind of got the goodies and the baddies.

But as it's called Bring It Back, right? Bring It Back. I said Bring It Back. As it's bringing back. As she sings the modern song, Bring It Back. See? Bring It Back. See?

Bring it back. Oh, that one's a bit too, a bit too new for me. Bring It Back to the Sea. She sings, yes please. She sings all the modern songs from Zoe Balls, Radio 2, show. Yeah! Bittin' you for me, the director is staking in,

but I'll go with it. Yeah, they move from Radio 3 to Radio 2. A young sailor, a sprightly young sailor, we're talking he's 41, he's 42. Just a spright young, strip of a thing, you know, played by a very young Willem DeFoe. He is, we'd have to age him up a little bit, but yeah, Willem DeFoe, Willem DeFoe is there. He's played a young dude, we've got Sydney Swini as the mermaid. He plays here a little bit of Steve Wright's love songs. And suddenly, I'm going to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great. Groove our martyra involved everyone. Oh, we've got to see her revive. Good trip, right? Guys, good news. Basement Jacks are happy to be on the soundtrack We've got so we have his becksters very We're promoting the film at carfest everyone What is coming right now?

Yeah we're on just after Tom Kerridge's cook along It's gonna be great honestly Yeah, we're on just after Tom Kerrigi's cook along. It's gonna be great, honestly. Kerrigi's smells tempting people towards the lots. Oh, God, he's used a lot of butter with that. Oh, lovely. Ah! Ah!

Jackson's doing a talk. Oh, yeah. It's always quite interesting. I'm like, oh no! We're going to need another boat. Yeah, it's always quite interesting. I'm like, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, ww, I mean, I just have to say for the listeners, we didn't get Clarkson to record that, then drop that in post. That was Tom, Tom, the man of many voices. Doing his famous Jeremy Clarkson impression. Oh, so it was always going to be interesting.

It's always going to be interesting. He really backs himself to sneak locks. I think you may be confusing with Adrian Childs because that was fun. No, I don't mind either or Childs can get people onto the rocks with his column about having half a beer or something? I've dropped half. I've dropped half a beer and lost my slip. Can anyone help? Where did I put my slippers? The Adrian Charles Column.

Oh! I can see. Anywho. Column. Bring that paper, bring me that. Where is he? He's got the worst column in the world. It's in the garden. Yeah, yeah.

It's in the garden. We're back. We're back to the garden again. Where is it slacking off the guard? Ever since we became Tory, we're really taking it slacking off the left-wing press. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. press yeah yeah yeah yeah the um yeah they used to half and half basically that's my point is half and half creatures okay not a major part Adrian Adrian Charles is last round I've always got to Adrian piles there I think that's actually not a bad name for him

I bet that's what his colleagues call him behind his back. He's half a half human half grape. He's half human half circular cushion. Boring you onto the rocks in a really charming way. I know, yeah that's the thing. He says boring stuff but in a very interesting way. I aspire to be more like Adrian Childs. I'm halfway there.

I genuinely have that conversation with myself about three weeks ago. He was on Five Live, I think, and I was listening in. I was like, there's absolutely nothing of interest here, and I'm loving it, and I was like, one of life, one of life to be Adrian Childs. He's operating completely within himself. He's not grasping for anything.

You know, like, you know, like, you know, where's we're operating up ourselves? And that's a different thing. You know, you're in a situation and you start, you start sentence and you think, oh God, I've overreached it and I've got a job and I have to land this. Oh, I'm going to finish erm. Yeah. I believe the room over it. I'm starting to be like really high. I'm starting to high. It's like I learned about innsbruck airport, which mean clock you're flying to a lot.

It's the hardest airport to land in in Europe, because it's surrounded by mountains, so only pilots of a certain high-trainy standard can land and take off from insbrook airport because it's surrounded by peaks, so it's so nice, shooting down and in, so in Europe it's one of the most dangerous airports to the landing. Tiles isn't ever attempting insbrook airport, do you know what I mean, like with the company he keeps, the sentences he starts, he's never having to worry about a tricky life. He's an easy, whatever the best runway is to land in Europe.

Well, he never takes off. He's not normally taxing. He's taxing around. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure this is going somewhere, it isn't. No, he is a plane Safely in sconce in the aircraft hangar of broadcasting. That's what he is. He's there

Isn't you know people people you know that they go just to see him like you might go to Ducksford, you know to have a little wander around inside the plane But no at no point. It's his pain ever gonna take you anywhere That's exactly what you get from Charles. I love it. It's the perfect thing. He's very good at it. He's the most good at it.

He's the master. Yeah. And I kind of thought, imagine that Charles has got a bit, Charles is the goal. How was going? Oh God, this has happened. Let's get an opinion from Adrian Charles. And yet he's around. He's there. It's always, yeah. That'll be like, this has happened. Whilst we process this, here's Adrian Charles.

Yeah, I remember to tell you about his breakfast. He's like, just captain filler. You know, you know that thing where you do and you've got a test, if you've got a test to microphone, if you get mic'd up for a job and a sound man says, just tell me what you have for breakfast. Do you think, if you think aching Charles goes, I'm not burning all my good gear.

Listen, I'm not wasting my material on you mate. Basically, I'll count it ten, and that is it. The first gig that Adrian Charles got in broadcasting, the same man did that, and he hasn't heard any instruction since. He's just read that as a voice for his entire career. Just chat about, you know, just chat about what you're talking about. Tell us about your morning. Talk to me, it's like, oh yeah, I can do that for four decades.

And we'll just shift you between various places to do it. I love it, I absolutely love it. I don't think there's any difference between it. And I think this about, when you come up against the really good comedians, you kind of see that there's very little difference between what they're doing on Mike and what they're doing off.

And, so you kind of go, oh, it's not a performance, it's just part of who you are. And I just wonder if Charles ever realized, I mean, I don't know if he realizes broadcasting or not sometimes. And that's to his credit. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, but what was the difference be,

the difference would be when he's not broadcasting, he's really interesting. No, no, no, no, no. No, he speaks to him. It's absolutely fascinating. But he's really interesting. No, no, no, no, no. What you want to be to him is absolutely fascinating. No, it's fascinating. But he's always fascinating. I think the thing is, what you sort of aspire towards

as that kind of broadcaster is, there should be no, it should be a seamless transition between onstage and off. You know, and you see that with really good comedians. Not saying all comedians, because there are plenty of comedians who have like a persona or a character. But a lot of really effortless comedians, because I've plenty of comedians who have a personal or a character. But a lot of really effortless comedians, you can be chatting to the hilariously funny,

they wander on the stage, they don't even change the tone of their voice, the intonation, the inflection, and it's just the same thing, and off they go. That's what Charles has got. You would imagine that living with him is an absolute joy. Yeah, exactly that. He's not putting on a...

He's not going, oh no, I have to click into one show mode. So no, he hasn't got like a parent switch. Oh no, swearing here, I'm not gonna go nuts whereas you get the sense with quite a fair few of those one show guys. Girls, you know, off camera. They're not one show, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. There, there. There are a couple of notches. The three show. Jermaine Genus on a night out is a three show.

There was an England Crickistical Paul Collingwood and his nickname was Brighadilla Block and they used to bring him in, used to bat number three and he'd just stay there. He wouldn't try and score runs, he'd just block the ball, stay there. Hold it down, there's your child's. Now I don't understand Cricket. What's the benefit of having someone who can just block? I mean obviously, it means he's not getting out,

but don't you wanna get out? Just the tire out the bolus yeah let the other guys get the runs thanks take my matty out of it just be steadfast let's just slow it all down here and you know that's the thing is that when people go oh my god turkey of invaded Spain that'll be like and here's childs and childs will go God you're a ditha for points instead of a point last year This is why I think was different about that the bottom a looked at me in a certain way And I thought you know what still gonna be fun and everyone's gonna be like oh wow Yeah, and then they'll come back and go okay. It's all over Turkey in Spain Childs is the latest model and they call it ceasefire.

He's like, you know, you'll just bring a day of blocking up. Superb skill. In a kind of Mr Smith goes to Washington, they'll have him just sort of keep just sort of, but without any purpose. He's like a purposeless Mr Smith goes to Washington where he's just stoned. He's just, Mr Smith just stands on the street. Mr Smith orders half a pint. Mr Smith lost his slippers.

Well I thought they were in Washington. But all of this is to his credit. That's what we should say. it's like it's the highest praise Absolutely what a career I Do the child's I think he's I think he's a brilliant broadcaster. Do you think I'd love to be able to get him on flat slum? I was just thinking that you'd be great on flat slam I talked because obviously robins and Ellis used to do the handover to him quite a lot I'll hand over from him quite a lot, or Handover from him,

quite a lot for their five-show. I don't know if it's still there. The good look following that. I know. I think that's the reason why they'd have a bit of a chat during the show. They'd come on at the end of his show and he'd chat a little bit because you can't go, you know, before you know it, their show's over. It's still there.

You looked under the stairs. There we are. Try to... I saw you come up for that last year in the finish line. By the way, Turkey has invaded Spain. Anyway, enjoy the weekend. I'll be on the one showing about 20 minutes to finish this story. Say, finish.

It never ends. Yeah, yeah. See you at Car Fest, guys. Oh, Charles Compaire in the main stage at Car Fest. I think we're hard for him. Yeah, exactly. But you know, the thing is he'd be too interesting. You wouldn't want to let, you know, it would be the perfect chill out tent.

That's what you really want at a festival. Charles out tent. The child's out tent. Where you got, where you're like, oh, The child's out there. Where you've got... Where you're like, oh, I've just got... I've got a bit hard. He's the third day. I've got a bit hard.

I'm really starting. I've gone three show. Yeah. I've gone three show at Carfest. Three show at Carfest. I'll go and have a go for a lie down in the trials. Carfest. That's a stressful boss.

Does Carfest have a podcast stage. I don't know if we get away with it. None of us really know anything about cars. I can't rock up in my 2009 Voxel Corsair, right guys? Let's part about cars. I'll open my, I'll open my clocks and impression. Oh, yeah, it always says something interesting. Um, clocks and trials, flat slam guests at Carfest.

I mean, I'm up for it. I'm up for a big bookum. If you're listening, guys, do you get into actual packs, flash here at gmail.com. Childs doesn't listen. Childs only, he only puts out, he doesn't take it. Yeah, he's a one-way valve, and he... He's a one-way valve.

He really is. That's a bit like you, isn't it, Tom? You're a Q. That's, I'll take that. It's the nicest thing I've ever said about you in comparison to your Adrian Charles Charles and that you've got I was really listening to what you said That's what I was about me

But assuming as a compliment You're very welcome Apology accepted Have to be there, be there, be there I've said it once before but it bears a repeat Have to be there What do you think though, right? Because obviously, the festival, the summer festival,

is a big thing. They're all starting up now. It's upon us. You've got your pub in the park, right? That's all the cooking. You've got your car first. You've got the big feast. That's the Alex James and the cheese and all that kind of stuff.

Like, obviously, you've got to use the cheeseer playing. Alex James and the cheese. all that kind of stuff. Like, obviously you've got to use the cheese a- I'm actually using the cheese a- I'm actually using the cheese a- Oh, I'm just kidding. The cheese, yeah. You know what? I'm just using the machine. There are some days when I prefer out to using the cheese to blur, and I fucking love blur.

I'm really, yeah. I got an actually using the cheese box from my birthday and oh my god, he knows what he's doing. They're so good. They're so good. I think he might make the best Bri in England. I know it's not the place you're supposed to get Bri, but still.

LAUGHTER He makes bad Bri. LAUGHTER He's what we're saying, man. He makes the least worst Bri. No, he's not. He's Bri is absolutely fantastic. It's really, really good. But what do you think is the thing?

Have you visited the song? Is that, do people do that like a little pilgrimage? I don't know, I'm sure you can. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just got sent it by my sister, she would be like, that's the breath you can smell it. It's all right. No, he's got one to the big feast for that to Alex James's farm as well. Oh right, that's it. So there's that.

What is the next thing that you could do that would be a festival? What's the next kind of, I mean, I feel like first, a mermaid theme festival, it's got to be for little kids, because kids love, members in unicorns, basically little kids just love them. What about, is there a Keep Fit festival? I don't know, of course it keeps it anymore.

No one's called it's Keep Fits, it's the J for the workout. LPs back in the late 70s, early 80s. Is there a jogging fest? Jogging, jogging. Jogging. Even the jogging on. Yeah, Yeah well I've really passed it. We can all do circuits around the chemical brothers. That would be good though. Yeah you have at 360 stages that you just went around.

Megan and Charlie a few years ago, Megan and Charlie a few years ago went to, do you remember they went to Box Park in Croydon together? To do boxer size while the sun had croop afforded. I think he was just beating the shit out themselves. I think he was, I think actually only two of them showed up, but it was two of them. I think it was Romeo and Dom and Lisa Matthew themselves. I think it was, I think actually only two of them showed up, but it was two of them. I think it was Romeo, Diamond, Lisa, Matthew. So it was two of the good ones.

But they're very motivational, aren't they? 21 seconds to go. Keep going. No. It's great for circuits, isn't it? It's really good for circuits. 21 on, 21 rest. 21 on, 21 rest. 21, dick, dick, dick. But yeah, that's good. That, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, but yeah, that's good.

That's a good thing, isn't it? If you get like a big, you know, you've got someone up on stage, like a Joe Wix, but behind them, you've got the view. You know, beating the fuck out of each other again. But yeah, you've got Joe Wix at the front, but you've got a full band. Joe Wix has got like one of those like Madonna headsets that you can, you know,

you can shout, shout commands and everyone's doing it together. That will be, that will be a great fest. I'd be really surprised if that isn't already out there. I bet it is, yeah. Because there's like the, you know, the well-being festivals. Well, there's this kind of, there's firmerncotton's happy place, isn't there? She does a festival, which is all of the like this. Yeah, yeah, there is.

There's where basically a load of people who are into sort of new agey healing and that kind of stuff, they all go and do that thing. So there's the Perncotton happy place festival. So what about Adolf? John Cunleyokes comfy place. Oh Just a field full of arm chairs. Yeah, the age of a comfy place. Oh, and it's just some arm chairs some really nice rugs It's an old people's home base it

You get served mashed up food And they've got five live on all day. Yep. You know what? The difference in serena. But why is this festival in Sweden? Dr. Ka-Balkin comes on stage to do a keynote speech. Yeah, I think fitness, well being, food, yeah, I mean, is there one for, I don't know, like furniture? Yeah, I think we need to go like furniture. We need to go further down the wrong way. I think that's IKEA, Tom.

I think it happens every single day. It's actually a lot more stressful than you think. Day three of IKEA is worse than day three in Glastonbury. But if it's like, you know, it's IKEA, but Ellie Golding's playing or something like that. LAUGHTER I'll tell you what, two wrongs don't make a right in this gun, in this instance, man. It's a bad thing, but hear me out.

There's also a worse thing there. I'd say what, at least the ones wrecking their ships on this one. That was a sailing straight on pass. That's the modern land. That's the most talented on to these rocks. Lighthouse. This is I think it was really gulting on the roof like Brian may. Save the long lives.

My point originally was that in terms of mermaids there was the rage for half and half creatures as it feels like it's had its time but it feels like back in the day all you had to do was invent a hot, you know, splice, splice from the waist and give it a name. The centaur. Exactly. The minor tour. The centaur, the mermaid, the fawn. The fawn. Yeah, yeah. All those boys, all those girls, you just splice them at the waist, bob on what you like. Give it a name. Go and tell everyone your human center bead. Oh! That's awesome. Could you not splice me onto his waist please? No, a little lower. Little lower.

Worst fist. I've all ever been to. Can't keep managed to avoid, avoid ever being in a human centipede because having an ass half of his back It's been a bit impractical Well no, he'd be the front wouldn't he? It has to be a human millipede with me If he'd been leading the Congo Then the second one's kind of locked in a shoulder height

And then it slopes down Oh boy I mean is there a horror and then it slopes down. Oh boy. I mean, is there a horror festival, Clarky? Freightfest? Yeah. What does it, like film festivals and stuff like that, like, but I don't know about, you know, in a video. We're talking about outdoors with bands playing.

And the stompings is what you're doing. Everyone's doing spooky versions of their songs. Is that what happens at like the great festival? Everyone does like food based versions of their. I would totally do that if I was, if I was playing then I'm changing the lyrics to all my songs. So, you've got to write the lyrics first, say, I said come out of the middle man and just write my two songs about food and get an immediate booking. It's a good point, actually. It's not enough songs about food. There's not enough songs about food. I'm saying it.

Okay. Do you want to try and play a game of name a song about food? And the first one you can't, is out. It's the food. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to start.

I'm going to open with Watermelon Sugar High by Harry Styles. I'm going to follow up with Lollipop by Meeker. This is like the worst DJ I said ever. Yeah. It's not a good start. Is it? People are flocking out of the tent to childs is chill out sir And chill out so I'm I'm going for that song that goes hot dog jump in frog. It's called the king of rock and roll

Yeah, it's called king of rock and roll. It's got hot dog. I get it. I'm like come on You can't be going. It's got a hot dog at this stage. Sure. You've got to be tight song titles with And I don't think it's against the rules what I've just done. Okay, we haven't established the rules, that's the problem I think. Right. In which case, I'm going to go with Monster Mash. I'm going to go for milkshake, police. Oh, love it. Is that a wheel-o-one beverages? for milkshake, police. Love it.

Is that, are we allowing beverages? Yeah, I think it's the world. I mean, you know, I say, if we're allowing hot dog jumping frog. I mean, when was the last time you ate a jumping frog? It's got first ever, that was 2003. Who locked up licked one would you maintain jakeness in sleep for four days? It's got the agent Charles's 10th I'm going for raspberry bar a Oh the kind you find in a second-hand store

That's right that raspberry He's a raspberry Sheepers agree The kind you find that Alex James is big festival He's got his breathes are off. He's got his grip. The kind you find at Alex James is big festival. He's great with breath. Last good news for you though. He's great with the raspberry.

Okay. What about Maldiel Doe by Lieutenant Pitchett? We end this game here. LAUGHTER OK, yeah. I'm going to go for peaches by the presents. Very good. I'm going for Strawberry Hill.

Strawberry...no. Yeah, you climbing up on Strawberry Hill. Sal's Breheal, Tom. OK, there is a thing. There was strawberry fields forever, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clam and all the breweries here. Strawberry Hill.

Oh, if you go down into the fields. Meeting John Lennon, he's writing the song. Yeah. He's just licked the frog, I'm sure. Well, if we're going beetles, let's go glass onion. Oh, that's a difficulty. Quite a lot of these things are actually inedible. A raspy beret, a glass onion, it's a monster mash.

It's the worst episode I've ever seen. It's a tough meal. It's a tough meal. Texts are coming off menu, but I'm afraid. You've said three of the secret ingredients you've banned from the dream restaurant. It's a tough male. Thanks for coming on off menu, but I'm afraid. You said three of the secret ingredients you banned from the dream restaurant. So some candy. Candy.

Candy. Candy. Candy. Candy. Robby Williams. Yeah, that's it. Hey, hold, here she goes. She's got a little time.

She's got a little time. A little too low, no. Yeah, her lips made a candy. Yeah, yeah. Um, no. On the on the B side of my idea, I'd say you what? On the B side of bad podcast is playing on the rocks.

The I'll tell you what. On the B side of Bad Caste. Podcast is playing on the rocks. The end of it, we are, it is on the rocks, isn't it? The B side of England's World Cup song back home was called Sydenham. I'm called Jacket Potato. LAUGHTER Was it, was it thank you, mate Potato here? Oh, is that going to be your next one? Good, but yeah, why not?

So, I'm gonna go for cinnamon stick. That mean, come on. Thank you, come on. Come on, mate. I've got a good one next. Yeah, all right, okay, here we go. I am gonna go for roll with it. Roll is a food and a way this is a drink. So to full pack I try it there, isn't it? It's a real meal deal.

It's a real meal deal mate. Oh dear. Clarkey, come on, you can do this man. Any song by Hot Chocolate? Yeah, okay. Didn't they do a song called, I believe I'm in Hot Chocolate's Citroquil Malong? Okay, well it was a wonderful round of the game. Apparently we have to hear yours because you're so excited about it. And also because Paris started writing on the whiteboard in his room. So he's gone, he's gone, he's gone full succession on this.

He's got this character arc for his next answer. Go on, what have you come up with, Barry? Spice up your life. Oh, beautiful. By the Spice girl. Wonderful. Well, that's just kind of spice. Any kind of spice, it could be tarragon,

it could be turmeric, it could be, you know, saffron, you know, you name it, it's there. So folks, if you can think a food of a song that's got a food in the title, please do get in touch. Papi's flat share at gmail.com. We've turned into Adrian Childs. We dream of turning into Adrian Childs. There's no way Charles would debase himself with a text like that in no way.

He would have never done something so desperate as anything by hot chocolate. Oh, I can't believe I've come out of that, but yeah Listen, none of us played a one-show game there We're all we're all T-Shirt. Yeah, no, I was in minus three show there This We should rename our podcast the minus three show Tell you what this podcast will be better if it was minus three I'll tell you what, this podcast would be better if it was minus three.. Some are thoroughly enjoyable, wrong, through their clearly-addled imaginations. Four stars. Do you know what? I'm happy with that man. I'm happy with that. I really enjoy that.

You can't go to my tunes. Give it a five. Oh, if you're going on iTunes, copy and paste that exact review and give it a five. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And whoever is the first person to do that gets the golden ticket. All in the host, the 27th of June. Cross me. No. Are you busy? Have you done what's not? Well, I've just found out the cheekface

are playing at the Moth Club. So, yeah. Yes. Listen, if anyone wants to sub in. This isn't the collab, is it? This is the collab me, me, collabing with cheekface by going and setting up their audience. OK, OK.

Listen, guys, it's a clever way to do it, actually. Listen, I don't want to, you know, obviously, I don, okay. Listen, you know what? You have a way to do it, actually. Listen, I don't want to, you know, obviously, I don't want to be, you know, I don't tell tales outside of school here, but you, your episode where you stepped aside and let Robbins take over, is doing absolute gangbusters. No, it's absolutely.

Honestly, we've never had press like it. It's unbelievable. We've never had mostly Robbins reviewing himself, but still, had press like it. It's unbelievable. We've never had the mostly Robbins reviewing himself, but still. Very positively as well. Yeah, and so I wonder if maybe it's time for each of us to step aside. No, Clark, you don't worry. You've already stepped aside on many of those. I've never stepped in.

The collab is you stepping up. We're very excited. Clark, he's going to actually try and contribute a bit more. Good luck with that. All right folks, if you enjoyed this, apart from obviously leaving us a review on iTunes, if you enjoyed this podcast and you have already done all of the big things like listening and rating and subscribing and telling your friends about it and all of that kind of stuff

and leaving us a review on Spotify, which is a thing you can do now. We would love you to join the Patreon as well. For less than a pound a week, you can have a bonus episode every single week and sometimes multiple bonus episodes you know we've got we do bonus beefs we do a Papis Flat Share Pop round we do a love sex shag down our sexy show which I mean we're now on the 20 I think the 20th or 21st episode of love sex shag down and oh my god it goes it gets filthy every single month it goes hard it

goes it's absolutely it's pods that go hard absolutely right so get yourself to patreon.com forward slash pappy's flat share get yourself to pappy's comedy.com forward slash live we will see you next week for another what's in next week oh it'll be for other cold cuts very exciting see you very soon Tom once again a classic sign off from crossby plarky and parry they proved that they've still got just enough to complete an actor's so four stars today's episode will produce my Ha ha ha ha! Four stars! The night's upside world produced, why I have a caution? Corsi- TEE-

Cheers everyone! Bye-bye! Bye-bye! A woman plotting her course to freedom at in luck. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's the like theaters, December 15th.