Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Mousetache) S12E08

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Guess who's back in the atmosphere... It's Pappy's! Tom's winning arguments while the other two set up the hall of fame and building a jet packLIVE IN PERSON SHOWSMONDAY APRIL 4TH https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288183593887TUESDAY APRIL 5TH https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288180163627BOTH SHOWS https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288187054237MACHFEST SATURDAY 30TH APRIL https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-5/MACHFEST SUNDAY 1ST MAY https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-6/Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom, I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Share House meeting. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- Before we get into this episode, which is a very fun one, just worth mentioning that those April shows are selling quick and they are on the horizon. April 4th, April 5th at the Phoenix, Cumminsy, Flatches, Landown being recorded live. Link to the shows. Good Lord. Yeah, good Lord. Indeed. This year is absolutely bombing along, isn't it? It really is, yeah. And we've got Mac Fest as well, the brilliant Mac Fest. We are going to be doing two shows Saturday and Sunday at Mac Fest. So hopefully, links for tickets will be in the show notes as well.

For all of those, April 4th, April 5th, April 30th and May the 1st. And that is a lot of, that's four flat slams in basically the space of a month. Yeah. So that's a lot of, that's four flat slams in basically the space of a month. Yeah, so that's a lot guys. We need you there to support us. Specifically the last one in Mac, because we're going to be shattered. Because that is to do two days work and then a month later do two more days work. It's the most work we've done in I'd say seven or eight years. So we need you there.

We need a good base of love of Papi's fans to come along to the Mac Fest shows, to come along to the Phoenix shows. But yeah, April 4th, April 5th, Mac Fest Saturday and Sunday, get your tickets from the show. Notes, links. Links. Okay, let's get into this house meeting. Here we go.

I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always weak? Has meeting. I might always wait for you to have me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take me take noticed whether or not I had one and it took her until about seven o'clock in the evening to notice it for the first time. I did it first thing in the morning so I had a moustache for about nine hours before she noticed. You know it's not Jeff from Bike of Grove though is it? Oh no. No. And also she was out of the house for those nine hours. She's got a job, Clarky. She was at work.

I just thought she'd notice in my voice, you know. You can hear. I sort of like bristling. Yeah, as you spoke. Is it sticking around, you think? No. I don't know if you've even raised the touch at the moment. Yeah. I think it's back.

I think it's kind of... It's kind of back in at the moment. By the way, I can hear Gloria getting a telling off. Yeah, the wall. Her mom's just noticed that she's grown a mustache. Which has taken her a few hours, Her mom's just noticed that she's grown a moustache. Which has taken her a few hours, but she's very unhappy about that.

Yeah, my dad had a moustache for the vast majority of our childhood and we had the opposite thing of he shaved it off and it was mad. You try to get your head round, it was mad. When my dad shaved off his beard, it was the same thing. How old were you when your dad shaved the Tashoth? I reckon about 12, 13 and it was like about the same, yeah. Who is this guy? Who's this guy in our front room? It's really, like, it really changes her face, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like much more than adding a moustache doesn't change your face as much as taking a moustache away.

No, it's very true. So I'd say in Mr. Potato Head Rules, in the kind of disguise rules, rules. Yeah, to commit the crime with the moustache, then shave it and go on the run, rather than to go. Well, also for time reasons. That's the other reason it's quicker to shave a moustache if the next to grow a moustache. But I think, yeah, you're right. Either that or have the moustache. It's a fake moustache, but you've played the long game. It's a fake moustache that you've been wearing for 10 years. then whoop it straight off. You started at the age of that 11 and now it's 21. Right in the Tash. There is a slight danger though that having worn a fake Tash for 20 years, a real Tash has grown underneath it.

And you just never noticed. So you whip off the fake Tash right in your moment of... Maybe you take a few little hairs with you but you're basically the fake tash, probably in your moment of maybe you take a few little hairs with you but you're basically the same guy. You've come undone. I've actually got a much busier moustache under this small fake moustache I've got here. It's 20 years worth of growth. Yeah.

We made a go at grow moustaches for a joke once, didn't we, for a show? Yeah, for a whole month, for 1st Edinburgh 2006, we had moustaches for the whole. And also as well, because we were previewing, I think I had mine for like June July as well. And I remember shaving it off on the... We wanted to shave it off on stage. Remember we wanted to yeah, we did we we talked ourselves out of it because no one cares. You know, like it wasn't one of those things where like people were like we just we actually we just went in the toilets afterwards. I have a memory of it. Really? You've got memory of being on stage shaving.

Is this one of these fake memories? I've got a Mandela effect only works if like loads of people believe it. What I've got memory. Let's find out. I've got a flying. Oh, yeah, I've got one. Just, what's one of these fake memories

and is that the Mandela effect and what's the Mandela effect? So the Mandela effect now, I might slightly botch this, but I think there's lots of people who have a memory of Nelson Mandela. Me too, Nelson Mandela. Meeting Nelson Mandela. Yeah, he came to our last day in the show,

handing out the razors. See, one of finale. And that's why the next year, we all performed in really loud shirts. But no, I think the idea is that everyone, there's lots of a memory of seeing the news that Nelson Mandela had died in prison. And lots of people have that memory. And so, all independently, it's like a group sort of, a group, what would you even call it?

For Novelin? Yeah, but yeah, but like everybody having the same sort of delusion or the same sort of. I quite recently went to a website that listed a load of like the most popular ones. The other one is there's a movie with Sinbad's in it called Shazam. That doesn't exist, that those were remembered.

Sinbad from... Sinbad from... Not from Brookside, no, not from Brookside. I was going to say, what a shit effect that is. It's the old Sinbad IMDB effect, you know that one. You think you saw a show that the guy who played Simbad from Bruxide was also. It was actually the broken play Jimmy Corkill. Corkill was a wrong or wasn't it?

I tell you, Bruxide doesn't get spoken about enough these days. I think it gets spoken about exactly the right amount. Okay, so I mean to this. We can't do Drops of Jupiter last podcast and Bruxide this podcast. Seriously, we have to at least, you know, at least, I mean, actually, to tell us a lot, we're talking about moving to Sinbad in. So it's not like that's the most.

Remind me, I want to talk about drops of Jupiter in the outro. Of course. Well, we had a great bit of correspondence about it. You really, you know what? You really piqued people's interest. Tell you what, I tell you what, people would be flying the corresponds in about Brookside as well.

Anyway, let's look, Simbad, the actual Sim, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I but he's a stand-up comedian. Oh, you would know him. He is the other guy in Jingle all the way. Yes, he's the other guy who's also trying to get the the the the action hero figure off of a Schwarzenegger. He's that guy that's Sinbad. Just called Sinbad. It is mad to me that these are the big two when it comes to fake memories. Mandela dying in prison. And then that guy who's also in jingling the way was once in a film called Shazam, that I mean they ask that barrel's not very big. It's not easily scraping the barrel. It's not called the Sinbad effect, is it? It's a barrel. It's called the Mandela effect because that's the big one. I've got another one for you. That's right.

Everyone thinks they changed it, but it was actually golden wonder was blue and they've always had sort of vinegar as green. No, I'm gone. This can't be the same website because the, the Venn diagram of people who think walkers Chris use blue and who are big fans of Simbad and think that they saw him in a film called The Shazam. Yeah.

Well, two. She's a clarky. In fact, it's a, it is clarky's website. It's bengalock.com. I was gonna say, this is, this is, this should be just like clarky's playground chat. It's just like, shit people talking about in the playground. Yeah.

Okay, so just to unpick these very quickly, so people think Mandela died in prison they have a, they literally have a memory of being told. Seeing it now, yeah, like seeing it on the news. Seeing people do speeches about it, all the rest of it, yeah. Right, and what their brain's doing is going, Mandela used to be in prison for a long time, and he's dead, and it's kind of conflated the two. I think it may be even before he died,

but yeah, I think that the reason it's called Mandela Effect was that was the first one that people were like, hold on, I swear, I've got that exact same false memory. Yeah, I remember it so clearly, I just bought a ticket in the cinema, I was going to see Shazam. I was eating it back in, I'm a pretty big Chris, that's great. And I was so excited about seeing Shazam, because you know who was in it. So yeah, just very quickly lay out the Sim段 one for me because there is a film called Shazam, right? Oh, maybe it's Shazam that I'm thinking of, but there's a movie with...

I think there's one with Shaq that he plays a genium, but it's not called Shazam. Yeah, and I think people... Or something like that. But people remember a movie where Sim Bad played a genie and he, and it was called Shazam. And people remember this they remember the cover of it and seeing it in like blockbuster when there were kids but the film never existed. Yeah and that one got me I thought I remembered Shazam as well.

What was what was the actual Shazam movie called? Do you remember what it was called? It might have been Kazam. Oh we was shacking it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that was Kazam. Oh I'm not buyingacking it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was Kazam. Oh, I'm not buying that. I said, man, that's bush. That's just misremembering the title of a film, isn't it? No, but it's like, like genuinely like, remember seeing Simbad on the front cover. And being like, oh yeah, I think like Kazam was like a remake of Shazam or like one of those times where they made two really similar films at the same time

I got a sim bad sim bad isn't in Kazam no, but people are right people remember they're being a The point about about a bumbling genie Cool who was called shazam Bernie in the genie Bernie in the genie. Oh, Bernie's in the genie. No, no, that was like never in Henry and Alan coming I mean that was a classic. One of the finest, one of the finest. I mentioned that in a meeting recently. Someone went, oh, good, Bernadine the Genie.

And I was like, I thought everyone remembered that as a stone call classic. How old was this person? Yeah, considerably older than me. So maybe I had a good idea. It's a bit like when that canon pictures documentary came out and they were going, oh yeah, that He-Man movie, what a disaster that was. And I was like, oh, I loved it. I thought the He-Man movie with Dolph Lungron was amazing.

I thought it was insane. Sorry, sorry. You say you thought Dolph Lungron was in the He-Man movie? Oh no. Oh no. Oh, baby. It was that was about that life.. Oh no. Oh, baby. It was that one. That was about that one.

You just been Mandela, baby. That's me, dear. Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? That's me, dear. If I'm sim bad now, right, I'm cry-funding to make Shazam. Yeah, what a great idea. Surely. Surely you've got it, you know, you do,

in the same way that like, you know, when stranger things came out, they really kind of played up the kind of 80s sort of thing. You make a movie that feels like you should've been made in 1993. That's the pitch, you go, look, enough people remember this film in their conscious. Tell me what you think you remember about it.

Although, isn't that like, it's gonna come out and people go, no, I've seen it already. So you are in a slight problem there, aren't you? Well, you can really fuck with people. You can only release it on NHS. NHS? Oh, no, yes. I'm free of the point of service. That's our guarantee. It's the real vaccine, guys. This film is so good. Inject it right into my head. No, right.

Shazam crowdfunds. And when you donate, you also give your specific memory of what you think happened in that film. And then the film is the tapestry of everybody's memories of what they think the film is woven together. So it would play like some kind of weird fever dream, but at some point you would have a really pleasing feeling of going, yeah, I knew there was a bit where he jumped into a slot machine. Or, you know, which is, that is a perfect kind of like late 80s, early 90s thing. You know, you would have become part of the arcade machine. Yeah. And you go, I knew that bit was in there. And it's's like yeah, but the problem is because the film is made up of everyone's memories

That bit where he jumps into the arcade machine will be immediately followed by a bit where I don't know he buys the New York Yankees and yeah, yeah, does it wrap with the grandma or that kind of stuff? Yeah, and you go like oh whoa But you know it could be avant-garde. But like what you're giving people, I mean, it is a cool thing to go like, this is no longer a Mandela effect because we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we Sheepers, creepers man. Can we hear our listeners now? Is that something? Yeah.

Yeah. Directly. Taptings in there in a monologue. We're making our own ex-sys film called Welcome to Toddletown. Oh boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh boy. Gory's appearing to soundtrack.

I actually think that's, I think that's happy. think that's I think that's happy. Oh Wow, I think that's happy. Yeah, there's laughter. There's laughter. I'm gonna choose to believe from my little lot to room Fast right I the Kazam shazard so anyway, we've covered it and it's fascinating. I still don't know who Simbad is. Is that what? Why have I had that as a blind spot? You've got the inverse. The inverse of an effect. You've got no memory of anything. Got the old Desmond Tutu.

Got the Desmond Tutu. Well, the Biden-Minehoff phenomenon means I'm now in counter-Symbad loads in the next couple of days, right? Yeah. I won't be able to move for Simbad. I mean, I don't know what you'll have to be, what pop culture you have to be consuming.

It'll be like sea-Symbad. Still, you know, I'm gonna watch Jingle all the way to find the say, isn't it? It's great movie, man. It's really good. Have you, do me a favor, Google a picture of Sinbad now, just so you can have a look at,

a look at what he looks like and see if it rings a bell. Yeah, no, nothing. Really? I know. Wow. That's why I'm quite concerned. I was like, he's distinctive looking. Like, there's nothing to do.

Yeah, yeah. It's a lot going on there. And also, I think he's, I think he's huge as well. I think he's like six foot seven. Like he's enormous. And used to wear like kind of like almost MC Hammer style kind of parachute pants.

He was like a very flamboyant dresser. And looks slightly genie-like. Yeah, maybe that's what it was. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe it's just actually sent mad dress so much like a genie in his day-to-day life that people assumed. Like did I see him walking down the street just as a genie?

Or did I watch him move you as dressed as a genie walking down the street? It's gotta be the latter, surely. Well, bad news guys, someone's filmed. No. It's bad being she's as an April falls prank. What? What? What?

Oh, no. And it was in 2017, guys. So I think it goes, we're five years behind once again. I can't believe we were only five years behind with all of the rest. Five years behind is pretty damn good. You know what, I will take five years because also considering the pandemic, a lot of 18 months off that,

three and a half years behind, I think that's totally fine. Pinch sharp, we're still, we're pin sharp. Okay. Considering our main top circumcision recently have been drops of Jupiter and the Bayo Tapestry, I think I'll take 2017. Okay, so sorry, now we get back to Clarkie's personal, Mandela moment, your own fake memory, that's what started this time.

Oh yes, so the fake memory is this, we bought a bowl of soapy water out on stage, we played universal by blur. To the end, to the end by Blur. Oh, to the end by Blur, yeah, that makes sense. And we shaved Emma Stoshes off at the end of our last show. That was the proposed suggestion, but it never happened. But such is the power of your mind, Clarky. Yeah.

Just us suggesting it would happen, you're like, yep, that happened. That actually happened. Now I think we realized that, you know, like your last, like it's a bit like when, put in Edinburgh people like really muck around or any mess around with the show on the last Monday and the people who've bought a ticket,

you know, because that was the only show they could get to or whatever that's the time they could see it, they're going, oh right, well, I don't know what should have happened here. So this isn't funny to me that you're messing around with it. I feel like we've felt a little bit, a little bit like that. But yeah, we shaved it off in the toilet immediately afterwards. And so left the venue that day without moustaches. And I remember running into Andy's ultimate and him saying,

oh, you look so much better. You look so much better without a moustache. Honestly, you look like much better. You look so much better with Adamistar, honestly. You look like such a cunt. And I was like, okay, that's sort of okay to say, but it's sort of also not. I like, if you say something like, oh, it takes years off you, that's quite good,

but not it improves your personality. Yeah. Now this is the thing. I actually saw Randy's Alzheimer's yesterday. And he's got a moustache. Well, I had a moustache. Oh, oh, oh, oh. It was my first day of having a moustache. Right. So I wonder if I shaved my moustache before I potentially see him next week. Will he have the same reaction? Did he notice though? Took me a long time. Took me a long time to notice. Yeah, but nobody else. You'll be like, what else commented on it. Yeah, so, I'll show you it off on the next time. I say, how do you think I look by the way Andy?

I have a similar story with Andy Salzman where I was playing football against him in this half-time and I took my top off because it was a warm day. So I stood there in my shorts, socks, and shoes. And someone was offering round wine gums and I said, I'd better not because they're not vegetarian. And Andy Zoltz would look to me, and went, you're a vegetarian, I said, yeah. And he said, you don't look like a vegetarian. You look like a, you said,

you look like a fucking German sex tourist. I'm not a vegetarian. Sorry Andy, they're two are not mutually exclusive. No, that's a lie. I mean like that's got nothing to do. It's got nothing to do. A bit of vegetarian or not. It was it. It cut right, it cut me to the quick.

Yeah, and it should do as well. And I'm sure if there are any listeners do get in touch if you are a German sex tourist, you also happens to be a vegetarian, because no judgment on either count, really. Guys. If he said, physically, you look carnivorous, right? If he said that.

You've got to lovely way with words, but I've gone about my day with a step in my, I'd have been like, what? Step in the spring. I stepped on a spring. I made a noise like the exorcist, but it was a happy noise. I'm having a nice time. Your basic legs, breath first in her. Imagine, imagine, and a head spins 360 degrees,

but when it comes back around the other side, she smiles. She's doing the double death as... Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Exorcist some kind of euphemism or like is it a like is it seen as that is it read us like going through What Todd later a child a child will that it's more hormonal isn't it like is it like you know like there's been like lots of Controversy in the air about Pixar's latest film because it's Carrey being like adolescence. Yeah, it is the is the I don't know the Exorcist I've been I don't know the exorcist. Have you not said I don't think I've ever seen it now. I've never wanted to do.

Oh, it's good, man. Yeah, I bet great. I bet it's great. Are you not a horror type person? What's your horror tolerance? Uh, no, not not a horror person at all, actually, from youth. What's the movie that scared you the most? Perry what was the movie that really properly shit you up the first time you saw?

Well, I think when I was a kid we had to so we we had to stop watching ghost busters because Bob and dad deemed it too scary Right, I can be watching it and so Obviously just getting the first kind of five minutes of ghost busters in my head It's a fucking terrifying film because I was like 10 or 11 and it's like, yeah, fucking hell, that's scary. That first bit in the library is incredibly scary.

Yeah, yeah, with that librarian, yeah. So that used to play in my head an awful lot. Also as well there's a real influence. Parents are very, you know, obviously, they can be very influential on their kids in saying this is a bit, this might be a bit scary. It actually makes it a lot worse. Like, Halloween I wanted to show Clio's some videos,

just some select songs from Nightmare Before Christmas. And we were sitting down with my phone to watch him and Charlie said, oh just be careful, it might be a bit scary. And I pressed play on the first video and clear, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I went, no, this is a Pepsi advert, this is the advert before the thing starts. But like you already in that mindset.

Well, and also, she's a Coca-Cola girl, isn't she? No, she hates capitalism as well, it is. Yeah. Is it? Caitlyn Jenner putting her... Yeah, right. ...prose down a soldier's gun barrel or something. I'm not sure about that video.

LAUGHTER I was down as sold as gun barrel or something. I'm not sure about that video. I was just going to watch that one in my private time. Sure, occasionally you thought that I'd never have a laugh at you looking at what's on there, but you know, you really pressed the exit, it's all when it's gone. That's tickled me. Sorry, that's a Mandela effect. I've remembered that. And by Mandela effect, I mean fan fiction, I've written. Yeah, of course. I mean, it's a problem when you're genuinely scared. We had a mouse, we've got a mouse actually currently.

That's why the house is tense at the moment because we think there's a mouse in the front room and we're kind of struggling to deal with it. Jay and I both not good with mice. Really? So I was holding Gloria whilst, well no, Jay was holding Gloria whilst I pulled the setty out to see if something would move behind it. And then I took over holding Gloria whilst, uh, well no, Jane was holding Gloria whilst I pulled the setty out to see if something would move behind it. And then I took over holding Gloria whilst Jane threw the setty

cushions in the air to see if the mates would come out of the sofa. And the whole time I was kind of going, oh, and Jane was going, oh, and Gloria was just really laughing. And like you would, we're told that there might be a mouse and she's got this little cuddly toy mouse. So she knows that mice are these tiny little cuddly things and she was like squeak, squeak mouse mouse and we were both going, ah! ah!

Like trying to overcome like guttural fear. Absolutely no fear whatsoever from Glow, just like delight and kept on doing an impression of her mom by going like, ah, then really laughing. So it's like, it's kind of like a problem of like, showing fear in front of your child. Yeah. Yeah. What have you, what have you got to do with the mice, though? What's your method, apart from obviously throwing? Oh wow, in the post we've got one of those electric plugs that emits a strong sound. Yeah.

Four traps. Humane traps or just don't, don't chuck me that question on it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was mid-white. I was fucking taking this cut out. By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way,

humane traps. The thing with the humane trap is once you find the mouse, you then have to, which I don't think you'd want to do, drive it away somewhere else. You've got to drive it from the property. No, the price of petrol. The price of petrol, no, you can't afford it. I can't afford to drive that mouse anyway. Just pick an A, B, you don't like. No, no, no, it can't be an A, because they'll find their way back. It's got to be, it's got to be taken first. It's got to be taken first. It's got to be taken first. It's got to be, it's got to be, it's got to be, it's got to be Terry Susan. It's got a person who lives a few towns away.

We think, yeah, you know, you're not, I'll stick it in the pocket. Oh, hold on, you're just nominating yourself there, Grossman. So we've got our own mice. We've got, Cosmos are fantastic now, sir. The day, the day when, the day when our neighbors started, first started having building work.

That's one of the things that will force, like, you know, moving stuff, that will force the mice out of someone's property into yours. Cosmo did about eight in the day, just. Wow, they don't look like they would be. What mice? Cosmo. Oh, right, yeah. Cosmo, such a sad facemo. Cosmo. Cosmo.

Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo.

Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo.

Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cosmo. Cos. Cosmo. Cos. Cos wishes it could be a fake memory. She wonders round our house, like that supermarket scene in the heart locker. That's what it's like, you know, just who langakes bread. And just what, you know, like I've lived, I've seen stuff.

Two syllables going over and over in a brain. Sin, bad, sin, bad. That's very Christian household we have. God, good, Sinbad. Yeah, that's the immediate chat, no, we're going to get a cat. Today the chat is, that's it, we're getting a cat. Oh, I know. I know, it's, like, glory wants it, I'm sure.

Yeah. She's saying it's the world about it. I don't know if it just feels like, so then say anyway, electric plug, non-subane traps. Yeah. A peppermint oil diffuser. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's loads of things like coffee,

apparently ground coffee, if you put in the places where they go they don't want to smell of that Yeah peppermint oil diffuser that the James bought for the air my Ultimate is it should be on the ground we should fight them on the ground rather than the air but yeah Yeah, just cover the cover the floor and smits yeah Exactly I've been tuned up to you in pilot's all night just go up in the one-carpet floor Keep this stuff to come round Oh Oh You've got to be the one that can't get flogged. Can't stop to come round. Oh! Oh!

So yeah, that's kind of the, it's kind of dominated the... Have you got the foam? Well, you spray the foam into the little, because you know, obviously they say, any gap of the size, like larger than the size of a pencil, they can get through those. So you've got to spray this foam that expands.

So you spray it into all the gaps. You know, everything letterbox windows. Yeah, it's gonna sit. It's gonna sit. It's gonna sit. And he, we don't have any cupboards anymore. Okay, in the ears of the guys, mouth, he had a lot of stuff.

You can't see the most then. Yeah, that's me. Maine, if we use an inhumane trap on ourselves then just go into this maze just wait for the sweet release of death. But yeah, get a cat, they're wonderful, they're really wonderful companions, they're very low maintenance and you know then you know what it's fun to have a cat cutting about when you're working you know. Cat wants to come and sit on your lap and you know then you know what it is fun to have a cat cutting about when you're working you know cat wants to come and sit on your lap or you know play with you it's lovely we've got well we instead we've got a pest guy coming tomorrow oh yeah I don't think he's gonna stick around

sit on my lap he's just coming for the hour he might you know you never know you're very charismatic guy. You look like a German sex tourist. You know, he made me this his thing. Very good companion, very low maintenance, this best guy. He's just very quietly spending time around now. So, yeah, that's where we're currently at, but it's not strong. It's not strong. It's not strong.

It's not strong that feeling of being in your own house and they're being like a threat and not being able to step up to the plate to deal with that threat. Yeah. And they get false contests. They can tell that the good thing is after the sort of 48 hour genocide of mice

that Cosmo enacted in our house. We've never had a problem with them ever again. And, you know, as occasionally you will see her sort of skulking around the skirting board. And I don't know if they'd like, I don't know if they hidden under the skirting board, just go, let's just not worth it. Fuck it, it's just not worth it.

You want me to tear it? Yeah, words got around, basically. Yeah, words got around. Words got around. Yeah, words got around. around, basically. Words got around. Have a good journey. Can we borrow Cosmife a week? Cat exchange. What do I get in exchange? What do you get in exchange?

You get a mouse. You were talking. You get something to get in. You get a mouse in a Q-Main track. Cosmife comes back with a mouse in her glove. Drops it on our sofa. Yeah, nice, in a humane trap. Cosmo comes back with a mouse in her gob, drops it on our sofa. Yeah, you can borrow a mouse, but I will warn you now, she's just been to the groomers

and they had to groom a load of big clumps of matted hair off of her. So she looks like she's been in a fight. She's looking rougher and tougher than she's ever looked before, you know, until all the hair looks back a bit more evenly. So I think it's a good time to get her, basically. Yeah, you know, she looks dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. She's got that kind of, you know, like she's already got the sort of facial markings. She's very, you know, she

looks like she's a war paint cat. She's ready for it. It must be weird being a mouse watching the impact that you have on something so much bigger than you. It must be a real head fuck. Yeah, that's a reason that's a fuck. It's a be a mouse or a spider and like see this giant thing winging out. Yeah. I don't know whether, is that better than being like say a hippo where like you you know you put the fear of God into people because you're fucking because you're yeah because you can mess it up death. Yeah. I wonder well actually

would you rather be a bit dangerous animal? You know what? I'll tell you what I don't think hippos are that cocky because or as cocky as. I think mice are clearly loving it, because very rarely do you say to somebody, oh yeah, I've got a bit of a problem in my house at the moment, I've got hippos. You know, it's, you, mice. I can borrow my lion. Yeah, borrow your hippo.

I can borrow your hippo. For it, I'll have Tippy Hadron. The thing with mice as well is, none of the other rodents, like occasionally you might get rats if you've got a really bad situation in your house, but like there's never a vol infestation, it's there. Like no one has that.

So it's the mice know they've locked into the idea that they are the scourge of the human population. And they're living it. They're living high on the hog, they're loving it. It just goes against everything that evolution has taught their brain. Like they, they must think everything, it's like flat earth or some shit, it's like finding out man-de-elident time prison,

you'd be like this changes everything, because I'm small, I'm scared, things hurt me, I'm gonna run away, oh God, here's this big thing, and this big thing goes, yeah'm gonna run away. Oh God, here's this big thing. And this big thing goes, shhhhhhh, runs away. And you must be like, way to way, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up the fucking truck here. Yeah, because if you think like, like, I think it's different.

I mean, what eats mice? Birds, lots of birds eat mice. They're not that big. I'm not getting a bird. Get a pair of gongers. Have you got a lot of space? Like walking? Is there a circuit around your house?

Or would they hit a wall eventually? Is there a war? Yeah, I don't. Subway, I don't live in a... I'd drunk a lighter. You know, I'm not convinced of it. I'm not convinced of it, yeah, but I... Just pre-conventional rooms of wall sadly.

No, that's not good, but like, in the house I grew up in, you could walk through doors continually and then end up at the same place you started. Little Lord Fonterrow, we always said this about you. You know, you get your Christmas tree presents, and your presents, you really were born with a silver spoon. That's true, I just, you had that big circular house. It's got a big, big house with all the doors.

It's living in a big, like, camp. No, no, sadly, there's not a hawk friendly route through the house. It's not something we asked to pay when we were looking, actually, we were seeing. This is shouldn't mention it to the estate. It's just little things that they really hope you don't mention. You've got to look out for dry rocks and a route through. It's the end of dry rocks.

Japanese knotweed, it's any kind of damp that's recently been painted over. What route's my my walk going through? You know what? Sometimes when I'm showing up to a viewer house I just wear a gauntlet. You know, I don't even ring the bird. I just wear the gauntlet just to shit up the assay agent. Just by throwing it down? I'm taking. But first I'll fight you for it. I won my house in a duel.

Yeah, so I, yeah, I mean basically I think I'd rather be a monster than a hip-hop is where we're getting out of it. Okay, I just took you long enough to answer my question. Can we record that bit when I actually had a question at the start? I think we've already pressed record. Was the tape rolling when I said today's episode? I'd like to just, oh, like, quite a short episode today if we can.

I just want to ask one question if you Tom, Ben, you can sit this one out. What would you rather be a mouse or an airplane? But actually, you know, what a lovely journey has been to get there the other year. I also love the way this episode finishes. You remember the way it finishes, don't you? Who can forget?

We started playing Blur to the end. Yeah. Clarky brought out a big bowl and shaved off his mustache. Shed his mustache on the line. I remember it so clearly. It was so, oh my, it was the acquist. Yeah. That's a hell of a mustache.ache. We're gonna need a bigger bowl.

How's B.J.? Can I have a lift, I live in Lonee. How's B.J.? Well, there we go. That was a real treat, I thought. Yeah, it's always nice to catch up, isn't it? Gain touch. Gain touch, if you're aware of any more Mandela effect memories, if you have any cracking fake memories, getting touched, we'd love to hear from you.

That's in the usual places at pubbyfetchair.com. What's... LAUGHTER You know what? It's a conventional form of an email, Tom. It's a pubby's flash air at gmail.com. Or the bits were there, basically. But yeah, it's a petbysflat share at gmail.com. All of the bits were there basically, but yeah, it's easier for people to, to, to, to, go ahead.

Then at petbysflatshare.com, you won't, that won't get to us unfortunately. Patbysflatshare at gmail.com, if you've got a beef for us as well, beef brothers, podcast at gmail.com, we need some beef for our next beef brothers episode. But Tom, we've all got them. We've all got them. We've all got them. You want to talk about drops of Jupiter, man? Well, in the last time's meeting, we've all got him. We've all got him. We've all got him. You want to talk about drops of Jupiter, man? Well, in the last half's meeting, we discussed drops of Jupiter pretty extensively.

And I hope a lot of you went out and listened to it's a very moving song. Someone going to on Twitter to say, I think it was a guy called Wilf. I can't find his tweet because his tweets are protected and he's not letting me see them. So I'm going to what happens if I saw it. But yeah, someone going to say apparently, Drops of Jupiter was written when the lead singer's ex-girlfriend told, broke up with him and said, it's because I need space. Right, so it literally was so basically.

He took the inspiration of this girl needing space, as what if she actually does need space and then wrote drops of Jupiter? It's incredible. Wow, wow. Like it's incredibly shit, but like in a good way. Jeremy. It's kind of exactly what a pop song should be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of quite dopey but, you know, get you where you need to go. Yeah, exactly right. Get to be right where it's pure. Oh, I'm gonna go listen to it again actually. Of course you are. Okay, what else do we need from you?

Leave some reviews on iTunes. That helps spread the word tell other people You know, we're still here. We're still kicking. We're still in the game Yeah, yeah, we'd love more we'd love more people this year to listen to us That would be great. That would be our big dream for 2022 more listeners in 2022 more people hearing about the podcast more people discovering it and new That would be all of all of that kind of stuff will be great join the patreon as well Oh, I all me. It's a great place to be.

I just fought with a month. For four, for four. For four. For four, for four. You can parry can afford food to feed this child if you want to scream in the head off the entire time. I'll be able to afford that exorcist. Or just soundproofing the room.

That's actually my hawk, you can hear. Fixing the mic. While you hawk. Right. Hawking for the Patreon, exactly. Hawking for my hawk, baby! Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Patreon.com for a very least.

I know you've got a parenting emergency happening just outside the door, but we at least have to give him where to find the Patreon, and it'll be in the show notes as well. Sorry Tom, off we go. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Corsham team.

Cheers everyone. Bye. Hey, day, hey, day! Hey, day! Um, in We Come! In We Come, everybody! In We Come! In We Come, everybody!

Close the door! Welcome to this week's Patreon neighborhood Watch Roll Call! Now I'm not gonna like you. This is my first. I've been called in at the last minute to cover this roll call. Let's give it a good go. What do you, my esteemed colleague over here? Do you normally kick things? I've had it. How do these things normally run?

I, well, I mean, obviously, this is the first time doing it. I ordinarily would let the Debbie Tom to take over, but if you'd like me to start, I'm sorry. Sorry, happy to. This is your first time doing it as well. No, no, no, I've done what seems like about 3,000 of these things. Oh, thank God, because honestly they said that there'd be somebody here who knew that I'd do anything.

No, no, no, no, I'm so relieved that it's you. Sorry, I didn't catch your name. I'm sorry. I'm a little confused as to what it is we're supposed to be doing here. Do you have the names in front of you? Do you know which ones we're doing, Barry? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I do. I'm so sorry. I have just got them here, yes. Can you please, do you want me to do I commence? Yes, you can, what the fuck's going on? I don't understand, what are you saying? I'm sorry, I don't think I'm sorry. I've been sent from head office last minute replacement.

I'm going to say gather everyone, I do realize, I've been told that this is a patron neighborhood watch roll call. Yeah call and that somebody here would be able to talk me through it. I'm not going to lie to you, this is the first Patreon neighbourhood raw, I'm just hoping you can take my hand and lead me through this. Okay, yes, right, sorry, yes, no I understand, right, yes, okay, well the way it works is that we read the names out. I've got a big Todd here. Do I just say Nick Todd?

I've said Nick Todd, is that how things go? You normally rhyme it with something like, oh my God, or something. Oh my God, it's our friend Nick Todd. I'm just going to say, okay, so I'll just say, oh my God It's Nick Todd And then is it and then do I carry on you can well yeah, ordinarily, and I would do one so I say Here he comes it Daniel Myers That is literally in the fire do we need to help him? No, no, no, no, this is You all you've got to do basically is just rhyme with the names, yeah. Poor Daniel.

So he was in a frying pan and he fell straight into a fire. And we just carry on. I just move on to Daniel Coleman now. That's right. Although, if there's any way of you avoid saying Daniel Coleman before you do the right... Right, right. Can we forget I said Daniel Coleman?

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Don't be struck from the record. Oh, okay, absolutely. That'd be struck from the record. Okay, God's. Wow, gosh. And you do this all the time. I honestly, I'm in awe of what happens here. Gold, man, there's a gold man. Daniel Coleman. I can't stop thinking about poor Daniel Myers in. Okay, well, this is starting to get a bit silly.

Please welcome our dear friend. I'm sorry, silly, I poured in your Myers in. Okay, well, this is starting to get a bit silly. Please welcome, I'm sorry silly, like I say. Oh, sorry, you were doing it. I was, yeah, I was just doing one of the, one of the pictures you never would watch Roll calls. And now do I go with Ella Bucan? I shouldn't say it, should I? I shouldn't say it.

Yeah, yeah, don't say the name, just try and come up with a rhyme if you can. Okay, and I'm rhyming with Buchanan. If you can. Oh, if I can, very good, you are good at this. If I can, L-A-B-U-Can-Anne. Can. Yes. I mean, you're getting there. I say this is, you know, I mean, you're getting there. I say this is, you know, effort, definitely an A, but actually delivery is close to a C plus at the moment. But you'll get your valuation now or at the end of the,

because the head office would love to hear this if you are gonna put in a good word. Okay, well, let's wait and see. I'm not yet ready to put you out of a job. Thank you, that means, oh, sorry. I was just half way that you could see that I was of course riding with Roo Schwab there, so. I am sorry, because that was a very good one. It was too good, I thought it was real.

That's the joy of the Patreon, they put it, watch Rolkel. So, okay, now I'm just gonna just gonna stop you here. You can see the name in front of you. Yes. Do us a favor. Wow, yeah, that's sort of what I was going to ask you not to do. Right, okay. I mean, you know what, the John Bix fine, because we're not going to rhyme with that.

No, it's the woodie-wiss you don't want me to say. Hello? That's the bit we were. Oh, yes. Trying not to say. Oh, okay, you don't want to say. You don't want to say it. Listen, it was a swig going to miss.

I was, oh, oh, oh, a swig at a miss. To John Woodie-Wiss. Yes, very good. Very, very good. There we go. I'm starting to solve this all over again because I think I'm trying to get it. It doesn't matter that you didn't start very strongly because here he comes, I dear friend, David Longley.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. So Daniel Green is having a lovely night. Sorry, no, no, no, no. Stress this enough, you don't say the name, you do a right, you know. The rhyme. L'Halloncy, this is the worst patron name would watch call I've ever seen.

Daniel Green. Daniel green, yeah. Yes. If you could say a few more words around it, that would... Did you mean that is the worst one you've ever seen? Because it, please don't tell head office that. No, don't worry, I'm sure. For a while, when you said I was doing a good job. I'm sure there are a bit of times on the horizon, but you'd have to ask my dear friend,

Ashley Geisen. Is she... Was that part of the... That was the Reisen! Yeah. Honestly, they should give you some kind of Nobel Prize. Okay, that doesn't rhyme with the next name. Now remember, you're saying the rhyming phrase or word first

and then you go straight into the next... You go straight into Chris Mungavan. So the rhyming phrase first and then straight into Chris Mungavan. Okay. rhyming phrase first, and then straight into Chris Mungavan, okay. Yeah. Before I mentioned his name, yes, all this. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so catch me live. Scott, the precious catch me live.

Catch me live, guys. I can't even, I, if this is just a way of you promoting your tour. I won't accept it a way of you promoting your tour? I won't accept it. Well, I've been... I am normally at... I do play the obo. I'm not used to it!

I'm an obo man! And I'll be touring live. But anyway, that's beside the point. Chris Mungavan's here with his van full of chips. He runs a chip van. Surely you could have done obo man, Mung van. Surely you can have done oh oh Bo man manga van Surely you've literally seen oh Bo man. It would have missed it. Yes, it would have Eyes out and the thing is you don't have to go, you know

It doesn't have to be some sort of great florid phrase. It doesn't have to be showy as I'm demonstrating by using Zoe You Just did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You were telling me. I've done it already, yeah. Strike a like.

Do you fancy coming on tour with me? Because you could open. Because honestly, people aren't that interested in me playing the hobo. I can't. You're doing this kind of thing. I imagine between songbanta is superb. I get very stressed about the banter.

Yo, okay, okay, okay, I get, okay, here we go. Here we go. I believe in you. I struggle to begin with, but now we're really going. I'm really pleased to introduce Yoann Haglund. Oh, well, you know what? That was good stuff because you were in with the Yoann, not only were you

in with the Senate, but you know what? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It showed real initiative. And, yes. You're a Vantilein initiative with Anna, aren't you? No, I was going to say, don't worry, into the works. You haven't quite thrown a spanner.

Unlike our dear friend, you know Rosanna. But that's fine. That's either here nor there. There's one more to go. Yeah, and it is a... I'm not gonna like you. It's a doozy. It's a real Oliver Zalengsook of a name.

Let me tell you. But I'm gonna give it a good go. That old expression. You said into the something you said about it. Yeah, what did you do for Ana? Because that was a good one, I could try that one. You can't use that one. You can't use this one for our next friend.

Don't chuck a spanner, because chuck, I was thinking about the chuck. Don't chuck a spanner. Into, okay. Chukasbanner. Into the works. Do not a spanner, Chuck. There you see, and it's that thing you do with the order. I think that's all of us. I like Sucks here.

Right. And is that, do you just, is that, and then does it just stop? Yes. Well, God, that was exhausting. And fair place for doing this every, you say you do this every week? Yeah, not exactly like that, but yeah, basically. Yeah, that's what we do.

Right, well, I couldn't, no, can I play you out on the oboe? I love it if you wouldn't. I, you know, in fact, I think there's been some sort of error. I think you were just booked for the oboe. Ah, that makes a lot more sense. Yeah, yeah, I think. But anyway, listen, now you're here. Give us a little bit of a blast on the old oboe. Wheeeee! Wheeeee! Wheeeee! Wheeeee! Wheeeee! Wheeeee!

I forgot my oboe. Yeah, I can tell. Oh, God. I forgot my oboe. Yeah, I can tell. Oh, God.