Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Pulled apart by Torses) S13E34

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. We're talking about the inventors of all the technology things… and Happy Days. What a load of arty rubbish!Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare House Meeting. It is exciting, actually. House Meeting is where most of us are. It is actually guys. It is actually guys. We've read your comments, but actually it is exciting. It is actually guys. So I take that look off your face and get this feeling into your ears. Hear it? Is that enough of a no, we need to talk about it.

No, we need to say a lot of more than that. Yeah. It's a shame because that was seen. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. Let's try and remember that vibe when we finished this intro and we'll try and replicate it.

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Let's do that. So, all that needs to be said, really. Do you know what, actually, I'm always good to say is mentioned the Patreon and all that kind of stuff, but I feel like we, I feel like now if you've had that hit it, it's hard to go back now. Yeah. So, do you want to just ramp up again? Well, get on the Patreon guys, take that look off your face, get this feeling, you're serious. Hear it!

Yeah, that's good man. Even better seconds I wrote. Yeah, it worked. It worked. It worked really nice. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you.

I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. How's meeting? What temperature should we set the heat? Has meeting, why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting, who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting, what's the point? Does life have a meeting? Has meeting. I've never mentioned this to you before

because I've definitely watched it before. But the internet's such a funny thing in that. Oh yeah, you've watched the internet before, yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. I've told you for a long time. You have, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're really getting into it these days, aren't you? It's hard to get out of it, to be honest.

Yeah, actually, in many ways, like Sandra Bullock, you're trapped in the net. We're recording 15 minutes after we were supposed to start. We just pushed the time back 15 minutes. And so I was ready to go 15 minutes ago. And I was like, oh, maybe I'll do 15 minutes of work, but then the internet was like, why don't you watch Tributes to Chris Farley,

the comedian who took his shot to his life 20 years ago, whatever? And you like going? You know what? Yeah, I will. What's happening now? Because it's early in the morning. Why have I spent 50 minutes on that? I don't know, I'm thinking about that. Yeah. It's the most random mate. But those Matt Folly videos are really funny when he falls through the tape. Yeah, it's the most random mate But that those those Matt Folly videos are really funny when he falls through the table and stuff and he's the he's the life coach

So it's well worth revisiting his stuff No, but the thing I wanted to ask you guys about is the thing that I watch for six minutes is Adam Sandler wrote a song And this was a bit later on but he wrote a song about Chris Farley as a trooper. Yeah, yeah, so the end of his Netflix special is pretty good. But there you go, that's the one I watched. Yeah. No, it's six minutes long and two minutes of that is a guitar solo. He's tall. He comes off Mike and then he goes full-e shreds. He comes off Mike and then he goes full e-treads And it made me laugh so much because it's like I can't I'm gonna take on a bit of a cool friend But hey what looking I can look and I can play the guitar It's like film is film the six minutes. I

Think he is no no no no, I'm gonna be, I'm a big a son or a polygist, but he knows. We know it. He does film a six minutes, and I think, right, if I'm right, he's a second, wait, wait, wait, wait, through who didn't get so low and be like no no that was that was for him though that guitar solo was for him. That's my new request. I want I want Clarky to just shred at my like to come up and say right okay I've written this song about Tom and for it to be an instrumental. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Firstly, firstly, Clarky, you're touching a very interesting topic.

I trip you. Who is it actually for? Because the person is dead, right? Chris Farley doesn't come out and go, nice one, Sandler. Nice one, Sandman, which is what they'll call him. He, it is for the people who are alive, right? Yeah, that's true. And secondly, say, for example, the people who are alive, right? Yeah, that's true. And secondly, say, for example, you are up in heaven, right?

You're gone. The last lines of the song, if we make enough noise, maybe you're here as now. Yeah. So Sanders thinking it's, you send it up. Oh, I'll address this in my second point. Maybe that's why he's playing the guitar so loud. This is what I'm talking about.

If you were up in heaven, right? And you were looking down, and you were watching a year-a-che that your favorite bit would be the guitar so loud. That's what I'm talking about. If anything, it's the bit that's the least. Like, if someone has to say nice things about you, that's all can be a little bit cringy,

a little bit embarrassing. If somebody's shredding on the guitar, that's pure pleasure, right? But, I mean, I'll say this about Alton. When he rewrote Candle in the Wind, he didn't do the whole standing on the piano still hammering it out. Five in the middle. Yeah, but Krush, he could play it at her funeral. This is not-

This is not British product. Tom for this is not footage from Tom. This is not footage from Chris Folly as funeral. This is footage from an arena show that Adam Sarnler played. It's the final moment of an arena show. I think in an arena, you're allowed to do a guitar solo. In a funeral, it's a little bit. You've got to tread a little bit more carefully, musically speaking. If I'm looking down from heaven and I'm closing, you're a really show I'd be thinking,

bloody hell, crossbees a bit like this year. Right a final set, right a final bit mate. Find your own crescendo, don't be leaning on me, I'm 25 years gone or something. Have you watched the rest of the special? Or have you just watched the ending? Because I refute that, it is not like on material It is a fantastic. It's a phenomenal special. You know what? It's such a good it's such a good special that it's it lots of people was going can you believe? It's a good like because you know obviously he's got he doesn't have the greatest reputation in company Lots of people think he's not not especially. And I'm not one of those people.

Can't we know it? But the show converted a lot of naysayers, and not just because it came out just before lockdown. And people people actually didn't lock down. Then nothing else to do. I think it's genuinely, I think it's brilliant. But also as well, Chris Farley is a huge legend. No offense, Tom.

But if I were to do a tribute to someone who I'm gonna say, like, even at one of my gigs. Yeah, I would have to do this. I would have to do this, yeah. I would have to do this, yeah. Let's not forget. Let's not forget. Sing the Chris Farley song at my funeral.

What a way to go. Oh my God. I'm talking about my boy, Chris Farley song at my funeral. What a way to go. Oh my God. Is that what I'm talking about, my boy, Chris Farley. My family like, he's Chris Farley. I know his mates from university. Oh God, Crosby's blacked on Perry's name. He says, does that, we'll pull that together a little more. Yeah. on Paris name. Ben Clarkie talking about my friend Ben Clarkie. He's right here.

Thanks on the trip. Did you think you should have moved? He's hardly moved. It's not spoken in ages. It just did make me laugh. I'm not having to go Adam Sanders. No, no, of course, of course. Or special. But it's just, I like the idea of juggling, juggling, juggling, juggling, juggling in the middle of the yearly jing-o. It's just made me laugh. It did make me laugh. Here's the thing though, you went to quite an evangelical church. Was there a rock band or like a kind of electric band at your church when you were... Oh, I understand. So that is, there are lots of different ways to worship. That's what they always used to say whenever you were plugging in. They always used to say, you know, plenty of different ways to worship. And singing, obviously singing words about Jesus and about what a wonderful guy he was.

Another dead guy. Another dead guy that we miss every day. But also there was, you know, like letting your faith flow through your instrument, you know, your guitar, your drums, whatever you happen to be playing, that's a big part of it. And so you can, there are plenty of different ways to pay tribute to a person. Yeah, I'm with you mate. I think shredding is the number one thing you can do.

I can't wait to be as the coffin is lowered to stand on your coffin You're giving it the proper fall on Steve by you and you malnstein like Don't stop the fire I'm going down with the ship there's no cats. Yeah, his master's grave. I'd be there shredding away as I'm burnt like Joan of Arc. I'd love it. I'd love it. No, his master's grave.

Right. Oh, yeah. That's what HMV stands for. No, no, that's... That's... That's his master's voice. Right. Is that the same as Greyfroy as Bobby? Is it the same dog? That's his master's voice.

Right. Is that the same as Gray Fry's Bobby? Is it the same dog? Oh, it's a good question, I don't know that. Is it a different breed? It's a Scotty Gray Fry's Bobby. What was his master's grave? It's a Jack Russell.

I thought that's his master's voice. Oh, he's master's voice. Sorry, I can't believe just a stab is there two different things. Yeah, but his master's voice Grave fries Bobby yeah, no Bobby nobody thinks his master's voice is Grave fries Bobby Clarky So thank you for clearing it up I did ask that question Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? His master's grave isn't a dog is it?

That's the outlier. There's Grave Fry's Bobby who did a his Master's Grave. Right. Then there's his Master's voice who made it onto all the t-shirts. But what was his story? Did he just listen to his Master's voice through a record player. Yeah, I think so. He's done well for himself.

He's done well for himself. He's done well for himself. He's done well for himself. He's done fucking well for himself. He's done fucking well for himself. He's done well for himself. He's done fucking well for himself. He's done well for himself.

He's done well for himself. He's done fucking well for himself. He's done well for himself. He's done well for himself. He's done well for himself. If I'm his brother, I'm gutted. Well, I would say even the master has been lost to the, you know, the, the mists of, of history. Who's the master?

We know about his, we know about the guy listening to his voice. He's managed to, he's, how has he become the sort of poster boy for this? We don't know any of the other people. I'm going to take a punt on it being now come on dig dig on. Bob Reuters. Alex, no, Alexandra Graham Bell. The guy who entered the telephone. Okay, okay, that's what we invented. Okay, who invented the grandma phone on the way though? I don't think so. I don't know why he hot the way it's worked to do the telephoto.

He had a hell of a day. Well, it does feel like it's kind of halfway there, doesn't it? It feels like you stick a wire on a record player and suddenly you and stick a dog at the end. In many ways, he invented the answer machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Whoever invented the answer machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Whoever invented the gramophone, but you know, you didn't,

like you have to then deliver the, you deliver the, whatever it was, the vinyl to the person. But yeah, I don't know, I don't know who invented the gramophone. Dog logo, you bad? Is there something in that? John, don't, no, anyway.

Even in television. Right, well we're close, aren't we? Well, let's face it, the grammar phase is a little... The grammar phase is a sort of combination of telephone and television, isn't it? Yeah. But they couldn't call it the tele-tele-phone, let's call it the grammar-phone. It feels like, does it feel like that kind of sense of those great names have been lost a bit? Well, they certainly have to us.

In the, in the week, I can't remember any of them. Those unforgettable names. Like no one's gonna go... You don't think people are gonna go Tim Berners-Lee? I think he struggles Tim Berners-Lee. What? Like when he did the Olympics, which one?

I knew who the fuck he was, did they? What? Wait, no. No one knew who he was. Okay, fair enough. So Tim Berners-Lee, I think struggles. I think everyone's going to go Steve. I think in a hundred years' time,

people will think Steve Jobs invented the internet and the computer and Happy days and I think in some ways John Logan bed probably Moise you say you like that's what I'm thinking is John Logan Baird's probably the Steve Jobs of his day everyone sniffing around can I just ask a clear question? Did you hear? Is it because there's a record playing at the start?

Is that what it is? Why do you think Steve Jobs invented happy days? I thought that was Gary Marshall, wasn't it? Well, did I say everyone's going to think Steve Jobs invented? Invented the computer and the internet and happy days Yeah, that's it like that's my that's a that's drawing a line under that There'll be a lot of it isn't it's not it's actually It's saying the same thing again

Why do you think Steve Jobs are oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry, and you're using the expression right yeah The internet and the computer, happy days, off with you. Right, right, right. But you must understand the same. You mentioned the computer and the internet and happy days. And that sounds like... Imagine if that was your trifecta. You've nailed.

You've nailed it. I'll say this, Ron Howard did direct back draft. You can't take that away from him. Yeah, you've nailed it. I'll say this Ron Howard did direct back draft. You can't take that away from him. Yeah, you can't. You invented fire, is that what you're saying? Like early man. Like that's a leap you wouldn't make from happy days, would you? No, no you're right, you're right. Sorry.

There's something in it. Anyway, but like, you know what I mean? Like I'm thinking in 200 years time, whatever. Jobs will be there. Well, not if AI has its way. No, but people will talk like, okay, the great inventor of our time was Steve Jobs. And I imagine if you go back to those days, there's like Alexander Graham Bell, Robert Louis Stevenson, John Loughy Bell, they all had three names, didn't they

back in the day. What, Robby Louis Stevenson, Robert Louis Stevenson, in order? Didn't invent the train, the book. Didn't invent Stevenson's rocket. This must be driving people insane. Who wrote Treasure Island? Who wrote Treasure Island? Who wrote Treasure Island? Um, I can't believe that. That's well. That's Robert Louis Stevenson.

So you wrote Treasure Island and invented the train? I don't think Robert Louis Stevenson invented the train. I'm sorry mate. I think he just wrote books. OK. So what are their names, Stevenson's rocket after him? to the train, I'm sorry mate, I think he just wrote books. Okay. So what, and their name Stevenson's rocket after him? I don't know anything about the connection to Stevenson's rocket, I'm afraid. Unless that was one of his books.

Do you want me to look up Stevenson's rocket? Let me have a look. I think we can get into looking up territory because otherwise we'll go down a wormhole and we'll be looking at John Candy. The other guy, he invented sweets, right? Do you know what you are, you are almost right in the... I'll take it. I'll take it. Good night.

Play us out. It was Robert Stevenson who invented Stevenson's rocket. Robert Louis Stevenson, I believe, is the author of Treasure Island and a variety of other books. I think he wrote Jacklyn Hyde as well. But yeah, so we can... I don't even think Robert Stevenson's making it onto the list. What about I.K. Brunel? Okay. Yeah.

My God. I'm sweating. Okay. Okay. That's another yesterday. Okay. It's a gun to it. But the Bruno event I thought he built bridges. Well, he wasn't invented. He was a builder, wasn't he? Yeah. Not getting on the list. No, he didn't invent. But what did Steve Jobs invent? Did he invent the suspension bridge, Bruno L? He certainly built some. Steve Jobs will go down as the inventor of...

The man who invented Happy Days, yeah. The inventor of... He was the one who said, I think the fonds should wear a leather jacket, not says anything, jacket a sezenim jacket, and he should say, A, instead of you. He came in there, he really troubled, he troubleshot the project. I'd say what's mad about Happy Days, right? Yeah.

Was it made like in the 70s? Yes. About the 50s. Yes. And like, if you look at those two eras, they're so like dressed, they seem so drastically different. Yeah. That's the equivalent of sort of making a series now about the naughties. Yeah.

It's like dairy girls, isn't it? Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, dairy girls. It's like people who want to make a show where you're not bogged down by the fact that everyone's got a mobile phone, is basically, that's what you want to do, isn't it? That's the reason to do it.

But they've done it a lot of, because in the 90s, they made that 70s show. So I think people do often look back about 20 years and go, oh, wasn't it? Basically, all the people who grew up in that era now, the people we want to target demographic for watching Telly. But when you were a kid, it was very disorientating because you just assumed it was made back then.

Yes, that's right. I thought it was made in the 50s and 60s. Yeah, because that's why when you find out that Ron Howard directed back draft, you're like, what the hell got? How old is he? That old Duffer. Blueberry Hill. That's why when you find out that Ron Howard directed back draft you like, what the hell got? How old is he? That old Duffer.

Blueberry Hill. He must be. He must be too old to direct back draft. But that's why it was disorientating because when you're a kid you didn't quite understand no, yeah. That you're watching a period piece. I'd say. No, all I'm saying is you go on, you go on, you go on, you go on, you go on, you go on, Yeah. That you're watching a period piece.

I'd say. No, all I'm saying is you go on the big names, that's all I think. That's all I'm saying is Steve Jobs will go down as the inventor of the computer, I think, in like 200 years time. I mean, maybe with people like us, who don't know who invented anything. But...

But like so many, so many grave turnings happened during these days. Yeah. What, what, they do it, people are looking down at us from heaven being like, what the fuck are these guys doing? And they were upset about guitar so... When are they going to start playing their guitars? I'm talking about my friend Tim Burner's Lee still alive.

Rere on stage! No one recognized it. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh! Has he made any money out of the internet? I imagine he's done okay. It feels like everyone's ran with it. But do you think he's actually... Wait, let's get this right now,

because he didn't invent the internet, did he? He invented the worldwide web, is that right? Oh, right. I think that's, I think, but I couldn't with a gun to my head to tell you the distinction between the two. I couldn't tell you what the difference was. What's the difference between the worldwide web? I know you don't seem to be typing www into email addresses

as much as you used to. It feels like that, you know, it feels like you couldn't get anywhere with that, a WWE. And now... See, and that's why he's not French. No one uses it. This is it. He used to get royalty from that. For every WWE, he'd get a penny. He'd get a throppence for every time someone went to a website, which you know, doesn't seem like a lot, but I can't say.

Oh, it really, it racks up. And he got it all in one-pence pieces to live it to his front door every morning. Well, should we try and get him on as a guest? Yeah, I mean, would you know who he was once he got, once he came on? And what he's done. I don't know if we could,

we couldn't send him this episode and say, listen, we're big fans of yours. We don't recognize you. We didn't think you did very well and the opening ceremony. And, well, it was all good. No, I didn't know what it is you did.

It was just a bit odd because there was a big thing going on and then the house came up and everyone was thinking, right, here we go. It's gonna be, I don't know, the queen or some shit. Talk me through this, I don't remember what you're talking about here.

The, you're talking about the whole episode so far. I mean, yeah, but please don't talk me through that. Just this bit, please. In the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics. Right, yes. When we got to the modern section. Right. We went all the way through.

We went through, isn't it, I.K. Brunel? Yeah. You remember that bit, yeah. We were there. I don't know. I'm gonna say I don't think John Logan Baird featured. Okay. But when we got to the modern bit,

when old Dizzy Rascal was playing and the kids were going to house parties with their mobile phones and all the text was flying around and it was like, now we're into modern day. It was after the NHS tribute, right? Right, yeah, yeah. And then, kind of at the climax of that, there was a little house, in my head, that's kind of where they were all buzzing around, and then the house lifted up, and there was a dude sat on a chair, and on the roof of the house, it said, you're welcome.

And that was Tim Berners-Lee sat on the chair. But it was quite disorientating because if it had been the spice girls, everyone would have lost their shit. But it wasn't, it was Tim Berners-Lee and everyone was like, who's that guy? And then it was like, oh, and then once you get there it's like, he invented, not the internet but the World Wide Web. Right, and you know, when you're delivering the greatest opening ceremony of all time, you can't have those kind of moments of hesitation. No, it's true. I am a big fan of Danny Boyle.

Oh yeah. You know Danny Boyle directly, you're having so many results in that big taste. Anyway, but what I'm saying is it just felt like, you know, bold to put him in there. Yeah, but it did feel like it was a risk that didn't quite pay off. If I'm being brutal

It's why I'm clear. I mean, you know, I forgot about it So it clearly didn't stick in the mind. You can't follow Dizzy Rascal with Tim Berners-Lee No, the worst glass to breathe ever if you're all going on in a gig You can't you just can't I think guitar so low got a got a had that to him, but it wasn't a great headlight set. It was just the AOL sound. Yeah. That's how my only experience of Tim Berners-Lee in real life. Got you.

It's like, you kind of should know who, it felt like we were being told you should know who this guy is, rather than you do know who this guy is. Who do you think, well, I, right, how about this, because this is somebody who did, who does like to put themselves front and center, not necessarily the most popular person in the, in the country, but what about James Dyson? His first sort of genius move is calling the product the Dyson, right? Yeah. So it's got his name when people immediately remember the, even if the cart member is first name, they're going to go, well, it's Mr. Dyson who invented the Dyson. You know, and a variety of different, very enticing, very exciting Dyson items. You know, you've got the Hoover, you've got the Airblade, you've got the big fan that's just a circle, it's got no blades in it, that kind of stuff.

All of those things are all Dyson's, right? Yeah. What about him? And he puts himself in the adverts as well, you know? So you see him, he, do you not think he is gonna stand the test of time as a British inventor? It's mad with Dyson because I feel like the main thing he did to get all of his money was inventing like a bagless hoover.

Yeah. That feels like the eat, like if you were to go back in time as you are now and you go like, I won't be able to really do anything. But coming up with like a bagless hoover feels like that's an open goal, isn't it? Well, why didn't anyone do it before then? Exactly, it was such an open goal. It's like putting wheels on a suitcase, it's like it took us this long to figure out, like the easiest little invention.

And I think this is what I think we've been getting to all the way through this episode, because in order to be one of the big inventors, yeah. You don't need to stand staring at a blank page and pull something out of nowhere. You need to take something that is already there, give it a really minor shift that will change everything for people people and then suddenly you're the

main dude. Yeah. Because that's all that you got to do. That's a really good point because they cause they called cars, horseless carriages, didn't they? The person who invented the car wasn't inventing a brand new thing. They were going, what's this thing we use all the time? Well, it's a car has been pulled along by a horse. What's the problem with it? Well, the horses get knackered and horses die and all this, you know, like, you can only go certain speeds because you know you go as fast as a horse can go. Get rid of the horse, put in something else,

like an engine. Drop the tea. That's exactly right, yeah. Yeah. Of course. Why drop the tea? What do you mean? From car to car. Yeah, it's a good point, actually, yeah. Yeah. Of course. Why drop the tea? What do you mean? From car to car.

Yeah, it's a good point actually. Yeah. Why does the tea go in the rebranding? Well, because they will pull by torses. Fuck it. Sorry. What? It's okay. It's always good to have something to edit out the podcast. But still keep us the title. Paul by Tourses.

Paul the part by Tourses. But I think that's the true nature of it. You've got to take what's already there. Do one thing. And improve on it. And then that's that's the way you'll go. See Tim Berners-Lee didn't invent the internet, but didn't invent the World Wide Web. He saw the internet and thought yeah, what this needs is putting WWW at the start of every address. And people said yeah, that's what the hell is cool. This is mad. Yeah, but then he said, well, you know, I tell you what,

type www.google.com, into there, and then off you go. And they go, what about the people who invented Google? No, you don't remember who those guys, we never know those guys names. You remember my name, because I came up with the first bit of it. You know, like, I tell you tell you well talking to websites Zuckerberg he's going to be remembered because he had a film about him that's what you want if you get get a nice film about you then people are going to remember you definitely definitely Zuckerberg

he'll he'll he'll last 200 years. That's gone mad now hasn't it that films about people 200 years. That's gone mad now, hasn't it? That films about people. Like it feels like the last... Like they're making them all the time. Where's Tim Berners-Lee by off-pick? That's the way it goes. That's what we're doing now. That's what we're going to write. Danny Boyle, come on. I know you did him a bit of a favor, but come on. I reckon Tim Berners-Lee had smashed the opening ceremony ceremony the next Danny Boyle movie would have been a Tim Bernersley biopic We call it WWW People think it's a sequel to one of his

Where where he becomes a wrestler He did a movie called dubia and then he made WWW about Berners-Lee. Do you know what, do you know what when you google Tim Berners-Lee, you know the first question that comes up? Why isn't he a billionaire? So I'm not the only one thinking it. Oh, I'm not the only one. What. Oh. I'm not the only one. What's not there? What's the answer to that?

Er, he just got big into betting on the horse. The horse is it says. He loves his money on the horses. Not the Lord. Not the Lord on the horses. He gave it to the world for free. And to honest now that's coming back to me that I think that was part of his appearance in the opening ceremony. Well that's why he says you're welcome. I guess you can't be a billionaire or come out and go, you're welcome. Well, I mean that's the most I'm most brilliant as per how you've actually.

I'm most billionaire, I'm actually, yeah. I'm welcome, I'm welcome. I'm W. W. Welcome. I'm W. Welcome. I'm W. W. W. W. W. W. Welcome. It's, I think, or it was something like my gift to you,

or so I'm trying to remember now, it was something like your, I don't know if it was your welcome, I feel like. Did he perform the song from Moana? Is that what it happened? What can I say? Except you, welcome, got guitar up. B-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W- Who's this dad? Who's giving it a go? Talked about song by the way. Tom, I wonder if you relate to this as a parent. And I know you're a fan of a viral video. You know, for example, the Chris Farley tribute video. You're a fan of getting distracted by videos on the internet.

Have you ever seen Dad meeting the rock? And he said, this dad meets the rock. And he says, I just to say to you I love I love you in Moana and I do the Maui song for my daughter every night before she goes that's just going to sleep that's what I do you know how I sort of comfort her at night and the rock goes do you know the rap from it and he goes yeah and he goes let's do it together they you know they instead of taking a selfie he goes, yeah, and he goes, let's do it together. Instead of taking a selfie, they take a video, and they do it into the phone of him and the rock

doing the rap. And I watch it, and it absolutely terrifies me. Because I watch it, and I think I could see myself getting in that situation, right? You end up, yeah, you end up going, yeah, I know the rap. And you just start, and you go, hey, I could go on and on. I did nothing, had to do, look, the sky, the tree, the dirt, that was mellow, just messing around. Oh, okay, I don't know, sorry, the rock. And the rock just goes, why have you wasted my time? I'm the fucking rock.

Do you know what I mean? Even if you're doing it every night for your daughter, you might be like, I kind of, I'll flood that line a little bit, they don't need to know. Yeah. And the pressure, you don't want to be the dad who says no to the rock. Yeah, you've got to say yes. Do you know my rap? Oh yeah, yeah. Because then you're not going to go home to your girls and be like, oh, I met him today,

but I didn't do the rap with it. You know, you, you, you, you, Yeah, I didn't do the rap with him because I'm a bit fuzzy on some of the words. It's, it's a bit like when they, they cut to people in Glastonbury. It makes much more sense. It's become a bit of a craze now, isn't it?

That thing of, can I play? It feels like no, there's not a concert that goes by where I remember the public isn't playing the drums on one of its songs. Yeah, that's so true. And it never feels... That's so true. And it never feels, there's kind of an air of, is this planned conspiracy behind them all? Because you never see the one where the guy

patently can't play the drums for my hero or whatever, you know? Where Brandon Flowers gets the guy up on stage and they go, okay, off you go and he's like, boom ding dong, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. We're just, like, everybody seems to be in that video more. Yeah, that's you want to see, isn't it? I hope you're not a Dave

I feel like I know rap T.H.A.G.O.G.O. Silver Play me I'm good I'm wearing the T.H.A.G.O. Silver shirt Oh, I can get one in there, no kidding We like to sing I'm an I'm We do what we want to do, say what we want to say, live I we want to live player, we want to play dance

I want to dance, kick and we slap a friend I'm a man, I'm a man Do-do-do T.H.A.G.O.G.O and we slap a friend Oh, I'm only done it Tiago I'm Bo-do-do I don't know I don't know

I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know

I mean that said I probably could I could be pretty well I could be pretty well Never seen him If you've been in terms of hammer you'd be the one chasing after him. I could do the wrong. I could do the wrong. Leave me alone at work. I said it once before, but it bears her a piece.

The thing I was talking about, not even being brought up on stage, is when the camera cuts to a person that's often on someone's shoulders, they're normally very good looking and they've got glitter on their face and they for some reason it's probably been, it's the third day of Glastonbury, they look like they've had a shower, you know, they look amazing and they are word perfect on whatever song they happen to be, you know, the camera has to be on, I always feel like it would get to it would get to me. Because I love to sing it concerts.

Do I know the words? Very rarely. Sometimes, kind of like, I've often found myself singing, you know, singing along to songs that is the first time I've heard them is the concert. And I go, what kind of show you put the sounds? Exactly, exactly. Yeah. Off you go. Yeah. But I would hate to, you know, I do the shape of the sounds. Exactly, yeah. Off you go. Yeah. But I would hate to, you know, I do that kind of knowing I'm being protected by the crowd. I hate for there to be a, you know, a camera in my face. I mean, obviously I never look good at a festival. I don't look good outside of a festival.

I've never been camera ready in my entire life. I do appreciate that you put on so much glitter though, it's really. But a razzle's all for the podcast. It was always long been my dream and I'm sure I've told you this before, but as like an art installation to remove the crowd, apart from one person. Yeah. And I'm sure you could do it on your laptop these days

courtesy of Steve Jobs. But you can, you just put one, you have one person in the middle of a gig, you highlight them, you delete all the rest of the crowd and then you watch the gig and just see them see what they're up to. Yeah. Same with the nightclub. I don't know. Yeah, I used to think that as well. When you're at a, yeah, when you're dancing at a nightclub. I used to think that as for all my- When you're dancing at a nightclub and you're really going for it, you know, you're bit hammered. What would you look like in a stark white room? Yeah. And a riot. That's my exhibition, I think. It's pretty cool. It's got something that's a Jillian wearing about it, hasn't it?

You know, that thing where she would go and take, put herself in a shopper. Jillian Luehwerge, yeah. She put herself in a shopping centre sort of dancing as if she was like at a nightclub and she'd film it. But this is, you do this authentically, you know, with permission of the crowd, you'd film the crowd and then afterwards you'd get the, for you, you'd have to get a silent release form otherwise it's, you're gonna blur their faces out.

No, but I think it'd be quite a long, it'd be quite a distance shot anyway. But if you've isolated it there, I'd say, going up to the person in the riot and going, can you sign this release for? Yeah, how was your brick? I'm actually a sort of conceptual artist and wondering if I could check you about exactly where you're at today. But yeah, I feel like that yeah sports crowd riot nightclub festival

Is that it oh Jewish wedding Judging by they're gonna be probably they're gonna be orgy orgy exhibitions That's what one person in an orgy. I feel I feel like if Orgis in there.'s going to dominate the news. It's going to be like a guy in the air and that's it. Yeah, it films orgy, you didn't get permission. Man in jail. Sorry, sorry, I'm not even leaving. I can't just say I was filming that orgy. I can just say I was filming that orchid. And I've got an exhibition.

It's in the Finney Sartre Centre in Exters. You probably heard of it. Anyway, can you just sign here please? Yeah, I don't know. Tours racing? Do you tell the tracks? Anyway, that's... There's an exhibition in it, basically. But I don't think there's a lot... There's not a life's work in it.

No, it's... Yeah, it's a one-off type thing, isn't it? What are you calling it, though? That's the question, because these things sort of live and die on the title. What, because the title's got to explain the, what's the thought behind it? What's the point you're getting across? It's called, it's called, scene and not heard, but I'm spelling scene,

like a scene and heard, like the heard. Oh, well, I could just call it scene and heard. And it's seen. No, I think scene and not heard is exactly not heard. That's really good. It's for that. Like film scene and the heard. I think time, I think you should do it.

I think the thing about being an artist is, you can just start at any point. It's my third chapter, I can't. I'm not thing about being an artist is you can start at any point. It's my third chapter, I can't, I'm not rushing into it but the third chapter is a conceptual artist, you know. It's on its way. Probably my fifties. I think you've got to, I've got to, I've got to, you've got to pounce now because nightclubs, festivals, what you don't want to be seen, you don't want to be seen as the sort of the great voyeur of the art world. You want to be seen as a man cataloging his own existence, and that is your existence currently, isn't it? The music festival, the nightclub, the riots, that's a good

weekend for you. I've got to kind of capture it now, whilst you're still. You've got to capture it now, yeah, while it's still doing it. While it's fresh, you don't want it, you don't want it to be because I think it has to, you have to be the voice of your generation. As opposed to the guy looking misty-eyed back at the, you know, the life of the art world has a ring to it. Yeah, that's true, actually, the great boy there of the art world. I mean, if you go back to the opening ceremony, you know,

the way it would work, the way I'd be in there, there'd be the house, the house would lift up up, Tim Berners-Lee would be there, I'd be there peaking through the window. LAUGHTER I just thought I'd come. The people would be like, there's an old guy in a chair and then, oh look, it's the great boy of the art world, there he is. It's Thomas the Spice Girls.

Who the fuck is this? LAUGHTER The artist's name, my artist's name would be Peeping Tom. LAUGHTER Peeping Tom Perry, the great warrior of the art world. Peeping Tom Perry, the great warrior of the art world, presents scene and not heard. Tom, if you don't do this, you are committing the greatest art crime of the century. You are robbing the nation of one of the great art pieces. They could have, you know, because if I can get that reputation quickly, or if I just go by that title immediately,

then people are going to sign the release forms, aren't they? We've said it here on this podcast. All it takes is someone to use this podcast as a reference and to put it on your Wikipedia. He has been described as the great warrior of the art world and just the references this part. You know, as long as someone out there in the published world has said it, which we have, and it's not even, it wasn't even you who said it this time, it was me.

I'm happy to go on record on Wikipedia as describing you as the great, I'll stick a tweet out as well about it, so it's got a bit of... I can see that Tom Perry to be the great voyeur of the art world, I'll pop that out on threads. When he turned 50, his best work unfold, we called him the biggest voyeur of the art world. I'm talking about, I'm talking about my pooping time, Perry. Oh, can hear it now. Well, you sang it. Well, I'll do people at the coffin. I'm a lion.

I'm a pizza project. Could someone get me out please? I didn't think this project through. I'm in a crematorium. What is it so hard? It's a project can't become your cat phrase either, because it's like you caught behind some bins watching a couple get off on each other after a nightclub

and you know, officer Charlie, like, touches his shoulder and says, what are you up to? And you're like, it's a project time peeping Tom. Yeah, I'm only don't know how your name is peeping Tom. I mean, that's not great, is it? No, no, but I think the great warrior of the art world is, you don't have to actually then become the guy who hides in the bushes, and that was getting off. I think that's, yeah. I think that's really show you.

I think the problem Thomas, don't believe you're in hype too much. I think the project of you filming a football like you. But what about my exhibition? What about my second exhibition, bin watch in you? How we been watching? This gravely of the artwork, he did a series of different bins and this is what he saw. It's prison, but from the view of bins and it's called bin watching you've been wealy been watching you like every every every exhibition it's a different type of bin it's like chemical waste

I like the idea that someone's walking around your exhibition and they finish their coffee and they chuck it away they're just saying oh bloody else Oh that's brilliant! That's scored in your heart, mate! And in the same way that Banksy has taken graffiti and elevated it so that people love it and celebrate it. Yeah. That's the way I will do that with people being spied on

when they don't want to be. Like, oh god, are you watching me? Oh, wait a minute. Oh, great. minute. Oh great. You've just drawn on my wall. Oh, you're a bank see? That's the prank says, ah, isn't it? If you crush somebody's car,

they get absolutely livid. Whereas if you come out and you go, actually don't worry, I'm Jerry Beedle. They go, oh, Beedle, Edmunds, Aston Kuchner. All of these guys, these are- They walked, so I could run. Exactly. Great inventor, standing on the shoulders of giants. Antendent.

An artist. One's day, Gordon Ramsay, when he used to wear the weird sort of rubber faces and do pranks. I think he's still got that on, doesn't he? Part of the bin exhibition, you could guess what type of bin it is as well. So it's like you've got the picture. And then next it's like a little curtain with a straw string and you pull the drawstring and then you see a picture of the bin. So you can guess what type of

bin it was I was in or the camera was in. So it's like you know food a food caddy. How are you picking it up? Food caddy. She's part of my art. I've built a... Why is that food caddy 6'2? How much composting are they doing in this house, old? Why does it stink really bad? Obviously, I'd get permission retrospectively, but I'll be breaking into people's houses at midnight, like rebuilding their kitchen surface, where I'm built into it, so that my head can be within a food cadet.

So when they pull out the drawer that's also the recycling pin, and your face is there in amongst the plastics. So when you're wheelie-bid, can you sign this release form please? I get the feeling I will be shredding it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Yeah, that's two exhibitions in already. Yeah, absolutely. I think you've got to do it, man, honestly. Yeah, yeah. You've got to do it.

It's just, it's chapter three, man. Conceptual art. Have you got your chapter three lined up? You two. Oh, it's a good question, no. What could my chapter be? I could be a bit bad. So similar. Oh, it's a good question, no. What could my chap say similar? Collaborate. Collaborate with me. You have the guy hides in bins.

Meet the man who nicks the bins for him. Bin man and Robin. Bin man and Robin was think that's where I first got the taste for bit. Taste. It's going to be my bin origin story. The first time I got the, I really got a handkerchief of bin juice after that. But I've never looked back. I've never looked back. If you look in the mirror and say bin juice three times, I will hide in your bins. If you look into your brevant here and say, Benju's three times.

Parrot pops out and takes your photograph with a bow to your eyes. You can hide me for weddings. There's a bag of props in the corner and a big bin. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's been juice gone. He used to be a conceptual artist, but he's fallen on high. It's his fourth chapter.

He's a wedding photographer now. From a bin. It's hard. Chapter four. He got to it quite quickly as well. Chapter three really didn't last very long. Chapter three closed after two days. Well, it's set with the chapter five, chapter four was prison. But he likes to sweep that chapter. Well, he likes to sweep that chapter. Well, he's not just sweeping into the bin. No bins in prison.

Famously. Famously no bins in prison. That's the real, that's the real right you get taken away, isn't it? Oh, you'll never throw away the waste paper now, boy. That's the last time you knock off a bank, you hate throwing. Honestly, the satisfaction of scrunching up a bit of paper and throwing it across the room, gone for you for six to 12 months. There was a time where that game, the throwing the paper

into the waste paper bin, was like, that was right at the forefront of like mobile games Yeah, that's right that was that was our That was our son at the hedgehog in many ways wasn't it yeah, do you invented that? Steve And we're out. Lovely. We are out.

We've extracted ourselves from your ear canal. We have indeed. I've got an email I wanted to read out. Love you. Now, is it pertaining to our podcast or is it just something you received? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, it is a message from a listener, it's a message from a guest. Oh! Now this is wild. So we finished recording our last episode of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts and about half an hour later, I received an email from Mike Fenton Stevens with, and it purely started with, I know an old lady who swallowing to fly. I don't know why if she swallowing to fly, it made her cry. And then he does every single verse. So he typed the whole thing out, every single verse and...

Can we do it? We can do it if you like. I want you to can you try to give us the full reading? I'll do it. I'll do a full reading. I'm happy to do it. Okay here we go. I know an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. It made her cry. I know an old lady who swallowed a spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. It made her cry. I don't know why she swallered the fly. It made her cry. I know an old lady that swallered a bird.

How absurd to swallered a bird. She swallered the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallered the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallered the fly. It made her cry. I know an old lady that swallered a cat. Fancy that? To swallered a cat.

She swallered the cat to catch the bird. She swallered the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallered the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallered the fly, it made her cry. I know an old lady that swallered a dog. What a hog to swallered a dog. She swallered the dog to catch the catch, swallered the cat to catch the bird, she swallered the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallered the spider to catch the fly, I don't know why she swallered the fly. It made her cry. I know an old lady that swallered a goat. She just opened her throat and swallered a goat. She swallered the goat she swallowed the fly. It made her cry. I know an old lady that swallowed a goat. She just opened her throat and swallowed a goat. She swallowed the goat to catch the dog. She swallowed the dog to catch the catch. She swallowed the cat to catch the bird. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside

her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. It made her cry. There was an old lady that swallowed a cow. I don't know how she swallered a cow. She swallered the cow to catch the goat. She swallered the goat to catch the dog. She swallered the dog to catch the cat. She swallered the cat to catch the bird. She swallered the bird

to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallered the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallered the fly. It made her cry. I know an old lady that swallered a lion. she's no longer crying. LAUGHTER So after he's been recording with us, he sat down and typed that all out, amazing. The main man. What a guy. I beautifully read, Krosby. Thank you so much.

Yeah, I'm going to clip that up as an audio book for my kids. Can you take one note? Their master's voice. Yes, I'll take a note. Could have done with the guitar solo. I think if I was good, my two complaints were that no guitar solo from me and no mention of the Tours. Surely she must have followed the Tours at some stage.

Of Tours. Of course. Yeah, she's dead of Tours. But yeah, love that. Thanks to Mike, and if you haven't heard the episode already you must hear it. It's an absolute classic. He's brilliant. One of the great beef brothers. Yeah, he was wonderful. We loved having him on and his podcast, My Time Capsule, is full of superb stories just like the ones he told on our pod. So get that if you can. Right. What else needs to be said other than, do you want to do it? Can you do it?

Hit it to end the pod? Yeah. Okay. Well, listen to this. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham to you. So take that look off your face and get the feeling Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It is tricky. I gave you a tricky, all I had to do was read something out. I gave you a really tricky task there. Luckily I nailed it.

Yeah, she's not as good as it might. Well, I guess, cheers everyone. Hit the like. Hit the like button!