Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Rogues Gallery) S10E41

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Tom thinks pirates and highway men need a rebrandPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's fall, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no. You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon. Yes, we deliver those. Turtles? No. But turtles the dessert?

Yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See I'm Tom. I bet. Oh, I'm sure you're that Tom. A little stretch halfway through. Sometimes you've got a stretch, haven't you, before you say greetings to this Nadir?

Absolutely right. Here we go. We're in. We're in a host meeting. Yes, welcome to the house meeting. It's a yoga themed house meeting. That's why Tom was stretching. So you've got to get yourself lim- limbered up.

Do you think anyone does listen to this while they're doing yoga? It doesn't have a very meditative quality are voices. Anyone if you do, get in touch, you know, Papi's flat share at gmail.com. I'd settle for the gym. I'd settle for somebody listening to us in the gym.

So I wouldn't be able to do that either. That's kind of an open. Yeah. I listen to podcasts in the gym all the time. I may actually have even listened to an episode of one of our podcasts while we're in the gym. Yeah. To spur me on, to greater heights.

If you are in the gym, keep going, you're looking good. Do you know what, keep going exactly, that's not a bad thing actually. Do you reckon we could do a podcast that was just us encouraging people to keep running? A, lift that up. Lift that up. Yeah, lift that other leg up.

Now lift the other leg up. Now lift the other leg up, you're running. Unless that was an SQM, like eight legs. Which case you're following that? Oh no, you just, you just made the run out of the gym. Oh, you're a spider, get in touch, faster. Well, Oh, a quick little plug,

if you enjoy this kind of stuff, then our flat share lockdown episodes we've done over 70 episodes, so you should definitely check it out. It's over on our Patreon. You get, in fact, all told you get over 100 episodes of bonus content, the day you join. It's $5 or above Patreon.com, forward slash,

the Pappy's Flat Share. There really is some really great stuff there, and we stand by it, we hardly recommend it. Get yourself over there today. We simply must stand by it, we don't have a choice. That's true, yes. Yes. I mean, we do have a choice,

because we could say actually, that wasn't that great, but it is great, and I stand by it. I'm not entirely sure why Paris trying to talk himself out of cash, quite a crucial time for you, Paris. I'm not gonna use that as a reason for people to sign up if they want to, fair enough. Yes, absolutely right. All right then, well enjoy the episode

and we'll see you on the other side. right. Alright then, well enjoy the episode and we'll see you on the other side. I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, I'm sitting, get away with it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Well, it depends what kind of pirates you're talking about here, because, you know, in recent times, there's modern pirates, people like them a bit less. Not modern pirates. But in terms of, like, sorry, sorry, sorry, in terms of, in terms of, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, you with the you and the are and the pirate on the shoulder and the pirate on the shoulder. Those pirates were smaller pirates. I might think of them pirates or Russian dolls. Which one?

Well, neither. And... Russian dolls aren't only Chinese, but the shoulders. You might be thinking of Totem Poles. Is that what you're thinking of? Totem Pirates? Could be. Here's something in the fact that pirates have done a lot better than You might be thinking of Totem Poles. Is that what you're thinking of? Totem Pirates? Good, B. Here's something in the fact that pirates

have done a lot better than highway men. I think I always preferred highway men. But they just don't get about as much do they? You're not getting any. Do you think Halloween costumes of highway men are you? No, you don't get talk like a highway man day But do you think that's because there's only really one famous highway man? but is I mean

But there's only one one I can think of I'm gonna say something cool. It feels as well like there's only one famous pirate And there's lots of different names don't get me wrong. We like there's only one famous pirate and there's lots of different names. Don't get me wrong We know there's like you could rip Yeah, if we sit here. There's one you don't know. Firstly, no hang on hang on hang on. Hear me out. Hear me out This is gonna be a good guy. This is gonna be a good point actually like like some of my best points Like some of my best points. I've just said something that I didn't think was true and already my brain has formulated away for me to argue this through as a point. Great, okay, here we go. There is only one famous pirate Thomas Pepp. Okay, I'm talking about the trope because if I said to you, talk me through. No, no,

no, hang on, hang on, don't shake your head, don't shake your head, this is going to be good. I'm shaking my head mate. The only famous pirate is someone who talks like that, who has a fucking parrot on his shoulder. No, no, no. Has a parrot on his shoulder and a wooden leg and a clueless, and I bet you any money if I said to someone, draw a pirate, there's an innate knowledge of what a pirate looks like,

and it's the pirate, in the same way, that it's the highway man, like there's only, like, dick turpin' looks like. It's almost like they've got a bit of a uniform. So, yeah, but that's not the way pirates work. You didn't get a fucking pirate uniform, like Bluebeard and Captain Kid, or whatever, like, sure, yes, they've got different nates.

But, it's my favourite, Captain Gid. And they looked different and they were different. But no one knows the difference. They had a variety of a kutrum on, sure, I'll give you that. But it's all been melded into one pirate, no? Really? All right, what about all the pirates? What about Captain Hooks men?

Captain Hooks a famous pirate. He doesn't look like the other pirates. He doesn't look like Bluebeard. Yeah, exactly. If someone said to me, what's the difference between Bluebeard and Captain Hook? Alright, yeah, okay. Then you're... I'm struggling.

So, you're... No, no, no, you're still not struggling. No, no I know what you've said is total at a copper bottom bollocks Okay, there is not only one famous pirate. Oh, no, it doesn't matter what they look like different the senior The name Loubid other than the things and then they Yeah, but that's what I was also what about the two pirates who lived What all right captain Jack sparrow doesn't look like Blue Bird either. But he's a fictional pirate. Oh, and Long John Silver isn't a fictional pirate.

This is madness. I think they're all grumbling. They're all fusions. You've got fewer legs than Long John Silver. They're all versions of the same pirate, that's what I'm saying. Did they all come from the same place? They all do, no, no, they all do the same job. They're all pirates.

They all come from the same place. They all come from the same place. We have one version of a pirate with one little amendment. This one's got a beard, this one's got a hook, this one's got a leg missing. And it's like, yeah, but they're basically all the same character. When people say talk like a pirate, they all talk the same way. You could say the same of human beings, but I'm saying they all use, they all have the same accent, don't they?

No. What? Hook, Captain Jack Sparrow, BlueBid, all speaking three distinct in different ways. They don't all go are me hearties. That's three different pirates, also begin differently, all dressing differently, all being different things.

I've been rumble, no, I'm gonna level with you. You have been rumbleed. I can't believe you're getting to this stage of the argument and don't, oh now I've been rumbleed. You're rumbleed from second one, you rumbleed, you rumbleed yourself.

My husband was based on the belief that they all said, you are my hearties. And I think they still do. No. Case closed. I don't think I apology accepted closings. We're we're not we're not,

uh, not accepting it. I'm sorry. Well, the point still stands. How on one leg? The point still stands on one leg that there is a very strong stereotype of a pirate based on, I think, one pirate. Surely. I think only that one pirate. I'm saying you, where's the pirate? It's like the parts of a school that's like a top hat. Trying really hard to be kind of unique so they just keep adding different elements to their look. You've got the key accessories.

Yeah, so it's like, you know, oh, I've got a wooden leg. And you'd be like, wow, that's pretty big. And then next week it's like, I'll say you've got a parrot now. And then next, it's like, is that beard blue? Hold on, where that a briefcase?

Yeah, exactly. Like there must have been pirates. What is going on with you, mate? There must have been pirates that were just like in dressed in blue, or like whatever it was, and just like, you know, oh yeah, I'm just wearing like a nice t-shirt and some slacks.

Well, the striped shirt is for pirates. So he was called blue suit as opposed to blue beard. Yeah, but yeah, exactly. Well, the strike, the strike. So he was called, he was called Blue Suit as opposed to Blue Beers. Yeah, but yeah, exactly. Blue suit the pirates. He's dressed like Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears at the VMA's in 2001. The end of it is a hell of a pirate. You know, it's like smart casual. Double den in the pirate.

Are you be capped in smart casual? But they, and also they're not all from the West country or whatever accident we get why do we give all the pods? I know there is a reason for that is there I don't I can't remember it there What is it that there's only one pirate I well the project except it You know if you ever seen a Scottish pirate Then must have been them I mean Presumably you ever seen a, the Vikings played a pirate. Vikings kind of their own thing, though, aren't they?

Yeah, that's not money that waters with Vikings. Again, you know, you would say Vikings all look... You could say Vikings all look kind of similar. But that's different, though, is Nick, because they all come from the same place. There's not a pirate country. That's where I'm getting it. There's not like pirate town. Like in all the fucking films and stuff, there is like a pirate town where it's like, that's where a pirate country. That's where I'm getting it. It's not like pirate town. Like in all the fucking films and stuff,

there is like a pirate town where it's like, that's where the pirates live. They went to pirate school. I don't think, I don't think you've seen any pirate films. But like Vikings, they all live in the same town. They all live in the same town. I'm saying, I'm saying there must have been a pirate from Swindon who was like smart casual

all-business quite boring and it's like look there's this there's this cartoon image out there of pirates whereas actually I'm just my my pirate name is John Not long John just John just John The pirate the pirate just John the pirates. I'm just John the pirate. Just John the pirate and I'm wearing slacks. Is that your, what, I mean? Got some cheetos on.

I'll tell you what, right, yeah, there probably was that guy, but you know, oh, no one's writing about him. Well, things have changed because three guys are podigas. No, we're arguing that there are even more types of pirates. Yes! No, you can't change your argument halfway through.

And I argue there's one type of pirate from low to pirates. Yeah, I agree. And you'll never take me alive. But to get back to my original point, there's only... Oh, do we have to? Well, I'm looking to reboot highway, man. I think they need more press. They need better PR.

Right. Right, okay. So, I mean, the most famous type of home, hire man I can think of is Dicturpin. Are you going to say there were other, like there was a selection of other hire women that need to, you know, that need to be promoted to the world? I don't know, I don't know. I gave it a big old guy, didn't I? He wrote a big old song about him. Simply, yeah, he was the dandy hire man, of course.

So I feel like, yeah, I think, I think he gave it a heave-ho He probably had the same thought as Tom and was like, you know what? I'm gonna do a whole song about them. I'm hopefully getting back into the The public sphere So maybe that's what you need there was a period in the 80s in around 1983. Yeah, there was a period in the 80s Where everyone dressed as highway man is that right? That's that's kind of what he did I Don't know I don't know. I don't know.

Was he like a man, was he like manly-factured? Adam and I don't think so, Adam and the Ants. I'm not sure, I don't know much about Adam and the Ants. He was a famous highway man. Well that's what he said in his song, isn't it? He was a famous highway man. So okay, why, what is it about the highway man that appeals to you? Is it the fact that they um, rob rich people? Oh, Clarke's gone. It's Clarke gone off to research Adam and...

Either that or he's being robbed. I know he should never have recorded this in a carriage. Imagine if he clicked back onto the record and he was, he had his mouth bound and he was tied to some train trucks. That's not what the hymen did. He's the thing, you've got it first. In order to promote the hymen, you've got to understand the hiring man. We've lost Clark again, he dipped back in for a second

and he's gone again. Do you know what, what does a hiring man do, Perry, explain it to me now? Can I just tell you that that was one of my favorite sentences you've ever said to me in all honestness, to promote the highway man, you've got to understand the highway man. That's like a, it's like a man.

It's like a man. It's like a man. Help you out here. It's like a man from a film. Yeah, quite a weird film about a PR company that decides to promote highway man. Tick turpings. I would say that if you're going to be, if you're going to be a criminal, right, if you're going to be a criminal, I would say promotion is not really what you need. What you need is people not knowing you're around. Okay.

We've arrived. Sure you can be feared by reputation. What did I miss? What you've missed is an absolute brain wave coming down the pipe here guys. It's not one of your orders. So it's, yeah, I'm afraid so. Crossbeast talking about a PR company

for bad mythical legends. So it would be like... No, I'm not. No, no, no. Tom, Tom, I actually wasn't talking about that. No. Sorry, don't know what you've got me talking about a PR company bad mythical legends. That's the bitch.

That's the bitch. Highway men are not bad mythical legends. There was such a thing as highway men. Yeah, but like you think the, the, like, what you do is, you, it's like an avenge as a symbol. So, I'm gonna stop you a second. Very, very, can I stop you for a second? In the same one that you said, if you said,

draw a pirate, right? And some will draw this or a typical idea of what a pirate is, the stereotypical pirate, right? The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the mythical legend and you drew me Dicturping. I would hand it back to you and say, I was expecting a Gordon here. I was expecting a Pegasus. There's no way that's Dicturping. Dicturping wasn't... How to train your idol.

He wasn't half-high women, half-eagle. He was just a man and a mask. Of course he was. He's absolutely insane. Absolutely insane. I'm off the train track. Hang on now, this is good PR, this is good spitballing. not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent.

I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent.

I'm not saying this is a talent. I'm not saying this is a talent. That's why he keeps his setup because of his beak. He's very beak conscious. So finally we arrived. Is that makes more sense while he lives in the forest? Exactly, put it on his perch. Perch, half-weapon tree. It's an actual rock. I think we've hit on something here. So it's kind of like a vengeance.

It's like a vengeance assemble, but for like mythical legends. So it's like a bad boy's ink kind of. So it's like, it's like, it's like Joan of Arc. Oh my God. What? You're not mythical. No, so it's like, you talk about historical figures. So what's going on! Have you got... You get like, dick-turbings there. Joan of Arc. You're not being on the same pan.

Robin Hood. Or Bluebeard. You kinda go like, they're all like the rogues. You call it rogues gallery. Okay. Although your reaction tells me we're gonna need a better type. Well, I mean, it's better than being the college. Yeah.

It's the rogues gallery. Why is Joan of Arc a rogue? Because she is devoutly Christian. Well, look, I've cast Scarlett Johansson as Joan of Arc. So, you, you, you can have to work around this problem. Okay, guys, you've got to write Joan of Arc in there now. It's a done deal. Joan of Arc, Scarlett Johansson has already signed up to a movie called Rose.

Rose Gallery, so, Rose Gallery. It's called Rose Gallery. Rose Gallery should be your movie about like an art heist. Rose Gallery, if you see Scarlett Johansson is Joan of Arc, you know, because in this, they would do individual posters for every character, wouldn't they? Yeah, exactly. So they would have a big poster with Scarlett Johansson-

We're building a cinematic universe. Say that again, sorry? We're building a cinematic universe, exactly, yes. So she'd have a big poster, she'd be done up in her whatever her garb of a sort of peasant shift. I've got a great one. Scott Hanson is Joan of Arc. Go on, yeah. Simon L. Jackson is King Herod. Oh, I don't mind it. What is going on? Oh, nice King Herod. This is a man who's always raised the cinema to find out. Clark is just passed a sign going. Joan of Arc and King Herod. That's got him above. This is a man who's always raised the cinema to find out. Clark is just passed a sign going,

Joan of Arc and King Herod together at last. How? Buy a ticket and find out. Dictorpin's there. I'm not buying the ticket to this. Play by, um, so you've, you know, you've got, so you've got Scarlett Johansson who famously loves our Lord,

and you've got the King Herod who tried to kill our Lord. Hello. Why are they on a team together? What's there? What's there? What's there? A bit of Frisson. What's there? There's a bit of the tour bus. There's a bit of Frisson writing up. Cross me, go away and write it up. What's Dicturping gonna say to Blue Bid? I'm gonna do half of that. Just writing up. No, okay. Just writing up. No, okay. We were staying here and writing up, yeah.

Wait, I, so, okay, again, so you... I'm warming up to this. Is that what you were right to say? I'm predicting that my team is going to... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It might be the rest of the week. Yeah, it might be a few hours at least. Robin Hood's there. Dick Terpins up in it. Joan of Arc is fashioning her group. But you know, Herod. Herod, Herod is an interesting one.

This is, like, just, you see what's happening here. It's like, it's like a mythical rogues gallery from history. Ma. Who was in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Do you see what happening here? It's like a mythical rogue's gallery from history. map. Who was in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, not the sketch team, but the, because there wasn't there like a bunch of historical figures who formed together to sort of make us a superhero team. Dorian's Ray.

He's in there. Sherlock Holmes in it. Has someone beat me too? Jekyll and Hyde's. Dorian. I think are both in it. Jekyll and Hyde, Dorian.. I think are both in it. Jekyll and Hyde, Doreng, I was sort of Victorian.

A sort of Victorian era. Again, fictional figures. But what Paris doing is a lot less focused and smart, I would say. And that's what a lot of, you know, that's what a lot of big budget films are about these days. You don't need them to, you know, they can be a bit more scattergun. I see, I could definitely see as being a four hour effort.

Yeah, although as well, the extraordinary gentleman was a massive flops, or maybe, maybe Paris onto something. It was two. It was a flop, where it was two. It was Roaks Gallery. Focused. Roaks Gallery is going to be all over the bloody shot.

What if I told you that Colin Farrell's just signed up to be dick-turban? Great, thank you. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that. First lunch and dinner mate. Oh man. Who's your pirate though? Because presumably you've got to have a pirate in here. I'm really finding it hard to enthuse the writing room.

Listen, there's a lot of negativity coming out of the writing room. Well, it's because you keep signing people up for figures. I mean, Sean, you shouldn't the writing room have some element of collaboration rather than you going, right, we've got Scarlett Johansson, we've got Samuel Jackson. We've got Colin Farrell. They are playing Joan of Arc King Herod and Dick Turpin off going right to see where they'll get along Off your pop off your car pipe. What do you think on paying you for? I'd love to run it right in real There's a reason you died. It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

Well almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order or now product availability may vary by region See after details. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes, four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining a woman planting her course to freedom It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that

Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th I love that. Poor things. In select theaters for December 15th. Tom, are you gonna have a pirate in your, in your merry band of rogue's gallery? I have to be. And who's the best? Who's your pirate? Who's your, who's your, who's your go-to pirate?

No, I'm asking, I'm asking you the question first of all, who's, who's the pirate? Because you, apparently you've not got any to choose from, so you've only got one, so come on, tell us. Who's the pirate's gonna gonna be in Euro's gallery? I think I like the idea of Captain Kid. Yeah, okay. I think Captain Kid has an Adiz Day

and it's like the pirate origin story of how they've got all the, how they've accrued or the pirate accrued you on. Cinematically, he has an Adadi's day out as he really. So it's there for the taking. What's I don't know the story of Captain Kid? What's his story? He was a poet. Oh, he was a poet. He actually sounds like there's a reason. There's a reason it has to be committed to celluloid. Yeah, I think you're right.

Captain Kid was a pirate. Could you get an actual pirate to play in? Well, and now we come back to where we started. What are you asking us to get a modern pirate to play in? John from Swimland. Well, no, then you're looking at Captain Phillips, aren't you? You're looking at... That's what you're looking at there.

It's Captain Kid meets Captain Phillips. Philip the Kid. I feel I've heard words. Miles. Yeah, Rex Galleroy. We're now making a movie called Philip the Kid, which to me sounds a bit like a sort of Prince Philip origin story movie. Oh God, the Crown, we're remaking the Crown. We're remaking the Crown except that all of the characters are mythical legends.

Have you guys watched the Crown? Mythical legends like Henry VIII. Have you guys watched the Crown? No. I've not watched the Crown, no I've heard it's very good. It's what, yeah, I'm constantly having conversations with people where I know you always pretend I'm gonna watch it.

I don't know where I do that. I think it's like to stop people like convincing you. It's when I feel my most kind of middle class and middle aged is when I'm discussing the crowd with people. It happens quite a lot in social situations these days. And it's like you simply must, and I always go, oh yeah, I can't wait actually.

I really, it's my social lie, is that I'm gonna watch the crime. I'm never gonna watch the crime. I think my social lie is that I'm gonna watch any show that people recommend to me. You know, like, I'm not in a bad way, It's just that I just don't, like, I can't think of many shows that people have recommended that I go, yeah, especially if it's like the crown as well. I mean, how many episodes is it? It's going to be, you know, it's going to be

30 episodes at least, isn't it? You like that as the first response. You've got to watch the crown. How many episodes is it? And how long have you been on the show? It is, I think that's a decent response, because I'm not doing more than one a night, I don't have that kind of lifestyle anymore. So we're talking about, if it's 30 episodes, that is a month of evenings, I'm not doing it every single night, I'm not going to plow through it. So we're talking about this, this could be a two, three, four month commitment. it's a season to watch a show. It's literally the season. What I want to say, what I want to say to those people, Tom,

and I know I feel that pain, I understand it, I want to go, who are you? Yeah, why are you telling me what to do? Why are you policing me? What's it to you? No, I did then. I tear my mask off and I chop it up with a pair of scissors. Oh, yeah, chop it up. Yeah. I take my time, I chop it up with the parrises It's a little bit of a chop it up. Yeah, I take my time out and I chop it up with the parrises Imagine if you always wore a crown, but like refused to watch that was your thing. Oh, no. No need to watch it mate.

Got one right here. I can't see it. I can't see myself ever being the guy who's watching the crying. You know when people say, in fact, do people say this? Do people say it like, if I ever get taken over by a cyborg, I mean, it's not what it says that you're fine.

I said that twice this week. No, go on, sorry. Did people ever say, if I ever get taken over by a cyborg? Or if I'm ever in duress, I got it, here we go. I'm being here. If anyone, if anyone ever breaks into my eyes and holds me at gunpoint, and then I'm like I'm a laid one phone crew I need to give a clue that I'm in distress

I'll say to you like I'll watch the crowd what's going on Like my wife and I have got this code where we'll only call each other babe if we're in a social situation that we want to get out of So right so say say you're in a bar and you start into talk to someone and one of you's thinking, then you go like, they just recommended the crown. Yeah, then it would be like, I'd call her babe and then that's a sign to say,

let's get out of this, let's go. Oh, let's leave. It's a great. So it's just like at any point you just go, like say, for example, you'd be like, you're right, babe, or like, you know, can I get you to your baby? I mean, we never ever caught it to the babe, unless we're in a social situation where something isn't how we like it, let's go. That's what are you sure? Because like, that's weird, you say that, because every time around you call him like, I think you call him, no, I think you might have got the code wrong, because every time I'm like,

all right guys. I got someone's calling me. Sorry, what's that babe? Yeah, okay. Sorry, she's just calling up stairs. I do like the idea of that though, Perry, that's a good thing to have a code to get out

of Jail Free. It's great. Yeah, it's a bit like, you know, when you get flashed at the end of a stand-up set by a light, not by an audience member. This is going really well. Well, you're often asking for tops off, aren't you, sir? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly right. So that is my equivalent of babe for you guys. Is if I ever say, oh my god, did you see that episode of the crown?

Or art? I'm really enjoying the crown. How is it in distress? Can I just pick apart, sorry, the scenario that we're in at the moment. Now, you put cyborgs to one side. The idea that you've got taken over by a cyborg. I didn't know whether you meant, like, someone's turned you into a bit of a cyborg

so they can control you or a cyborg, a cyborg is showed up in your house and is keeping you hostage, but you probably can't fight him because he's a cyborg. Can I just say, finally you're in the right as room for road gallery? This is the kind of chat we need in the road gallery's right. Guys, I'm so scared.

Who are the enemies at the road? Where I've run a logic coma over all the nonsense you're talking. I feel like the producers are going to. I've always done that. I feel like the producers are going to come in in five minutes and we're going to be in real trouble when we say what we've done for the day. Yeah.

Yeah. It turns out the guy running the right room isn't paying us. And the, so, so, right. So now the scenario is you're in your house, someone comes in, they have a gun, okay? They take you hostage, but they allow you one phone call, not normally what they do in a hostage situation, they allow you one phone call. It's a police man.

Right. It's a renegade old policeman. He's not that hard with him. Yes, yes, yes. It's a bad ex-policeman, a non-habitist, I had. He still reads me his rights. He still gives me a phone call. He reads you.

How has he amended the rights in any way? Yeah, he's still reached the right. He's still reached the right. He puts not. He puts the hate. He puts not at the end of it. He puts the hit, he puts knot at the end of it. He puts the hit, he puts knot at the end of it.

He puts the hit, he puts knot at the end of it. So what, you have the right to remain silent? Not. Okay, I'll just keep talking at it. Yeah. I'm like, oh great. He's not thought it through. He's not thought it through.

Anything you do say, maybe take it down and use it and it's against you. Naaaat! Well, okay, alright, we'll just keep talking, right? None of this really puts me in a bad situation at all. There's a reason he's an ex-police man. He's got no fundamental grasp of words. Sounds like a podcast though.

So anyway, he's then said you can have one phone call. Surely he's expecting you to call, you know, if he's letting you have one phone call, he's expecting you to call and not have to use code and go, look, I'm in trouble, I'm being held hostage, you know, call the police, but this time the good police. I've got a better idea. Or, wait, or does he, does he say, Parry? Does he, does he make you, does he make you make the phone call, but you have to say not at the end. Is that what it is? I'm absolutely fine. I'm not listening.

I'm not listening. I'm crossby. I've watched the episode of The Crown. I'm being held hostage. No. And I'd be like, oh, okay. Otherwise I would have been on the first train to Exeter. Yeah, I'm getting the train for some reason. I'm going train. It's because the highway's on.

The highway's on safe, mate. I was overrun by Farrell. So, yeah, the better situation is you're coming to my door. You're like, hey, Barry, I've just made some cakes, do you want one? And like, he's like, open the door, but tell him everything's fine. And he's behind the door with a gun. And I'm like, oh hey, Crosby, thanks for the cakes. I was just watching an episode of The Crown.

Bye. You'll be like, you'll go home and find the army. The army? Can't trust the police. The number for the army, right? What is the number? I think it's 1,000. There's one above one more than the police. One above the police. Love it. For correct. Okay, well I feel like we've now got like a safety code that I think makes us closer as friends. Yeah, yeah.

John, I mean, it's good, it's good to know, like are you happy giving out your, are you happy giving out your code, your relationship code on the podcast? Because what if, you know, what if somebody sees you now? Well, here's the, you know, in a social situation wants to chat to you and then here's you drop a B. Yeah, that just occurred to me because my wife does listen to this podcast. She'll be quite annoyed that I'm giving the code away,

but on the flip side of that, I don't think any of our real friends listen to our podcast. No, that's true. I think listen to a dear is a different, I'm just going to say listen to a dear is a different kind of friend, arguably a better friend than a real life friend, but then it's very rare I'm hanging out with listeners unless I'm in there here. But aren't you doing this and also as well, you've just had a kid, you're not hanging out with anyone.

No, exactly. You've got a year of not really seeing anybody. Oh, sweet, sweet year ahead. Sweet, sweet year. That's sweet, sweet year of bunkering down. That is the subtitle to Rogue's Gallery. Rogue's Gallery 1, sweet, sweet year ahead. And then Rogue's Gallery, I would already got in my head, Rolls-Gallery.

It's a franchise, right? Rolls-Gallery. Yeah. Jamie, like the way that the Fast and the Furious didn't just do one to seven, they just gave it a different twist on there. Yeah, and Fast and Furious is going to be our model for this. And I honestly think it stuns a good chance in this day and age I

Think rogues galleries is a crippling indictment of today's modern commissionings in the film world I think it stands are really good chance. That's how you're gonna sell it You're gonna start the your picture meeting, go. This is normally the kind of shit you guys like, here we go. That's nice. It should be a passion project, Paris. Yeah, real love for you. I do that, but I'd be dressed as fucking Napoleon, yeah, or someone, you know, one of the

rogues and turn up in character. Can we just, before we go, can we just get our rogues nailed down? Because at the moment there's three of them. Well, we've just, and I don't have that. I don't have that. And there's quite enough. We're in the plinipolians in it. We've got Joan of Arc, we've got Herod, we've got Dicturpin, we've got maybe A pirate.

A pirate. Captain Kid. V pirates. We've got Napoleon. Yes. Who are your other rugs? Fleabag. Fleabag.

Bringing a modern twist. Phoebe Walla Bridge is gonna be in... No, just here, right? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lady Gidiva. Right, okay. Can I ask, are you googling this? No.

You want the rogue gallery website? What was Vodacilla's... What was her thing? What made her a rogue? Well, is Queen Bodicea the woman on the Britta wards? Is Bodicea pretending the same kind of deal? Oh, I don't know. She's got a helmet on and she's got a spear in her hand. Is Queen Emma? Can you look that up?

Also, is it Bodicea or is it Budicea? This is gonna crop up in the script. Oh, is it? There's gonna be a classic bit of misunderstanding. But we won't know, because we don't know the answer. Yeah. Turpin's calling a Bodicea, kids calling a bow to sea. Kids calling a Budica.

And she won't give a definitive answer. She's coy. Everybody loves a coy rogue. That's what you're after. Everybody loves a coy rogue. Everyone loves a coy rogue. All I know about Lady Godiva is that she roared a horse in the nude.

Is that gonna be, is that what makes her the rog? I don't know enough about Lady Godiva. I don't know. And I think that's, I mean, you don't know a huge amount about any of these characters so far, I'll take it off. I think that's a good reason why Goodiva should be in there because she's a name on everyone's lips, but no one really knows what's going on.

Do you have a name? That's a good point actually. Yeah, Lady Goodiva, everyone knows the image of Lady Goodiva, nude lady with the hair hanging down over the chest on the back of a horse. And her nose that. Yeah. And her attitude is, one time, a one time, and that's all people know about me. There's more to me than nudity.

Do you know what I mean? She's like, was she a rapper? She's like, I'm telling you quite, like, she's fresh. You know what I mean? She's, if Budica's, if Budica's coy, turpin's affected. You got to guess, okay, everyone's got another thing, haven't they? We haven't cast turpin yet.

Yeah, yeah we have, it's Colin Farrell. Oh right, sorry. That's a shame. I mean, what? Dude, yeah, I really think. I mean you're reversing out of this idea. No, no, we're in it. We're in it. My hook up by Cru. Yeah. My hook up by Cru. I think Rose Gallery might save the cinema franchise.

Like, it's big. You've got to see it on the big screen. Whoa. You've got to see it on the big screen. John I mean. It's what it's... I You've got to sit on the big screen. Whoa. You've got to sit on the big screen. John, I mean, it's what it's, it's, it's, I do know it's a, it's a cinema, it's a, it's a cinematic event. Yeah, it's what's in a minute, man. Are you thinking, can I, can I ask the key question is are you going to be doing it in three dimensions?

So when Dicturpen leaps out in front of the carriage, is it going to be almost as if he's leaping out in front of you? Four dimensions. It's going to be almost as if he's leaping out in front of you? Four dimensions. It's going to be four dimensions. Smell the rogues. Smell the rogues. Make up and smell the rogues. Also, it's going to be like that, it's going to be like that shrek experience where every now and then, Dick Turpin is going to sneeze and it's going to squirt some water at the back of the seat. I've signed a sponsorship deal with Lynx. We're going to be a Lynx fragrance.

Rogue. I mean, yeah. Lynx, Lynx Rogue. And it's going to smell like a highwayman. Yes. Is that a thing that people want? Do people want to smell like somebody who lives at the side of the road? Has not It's not one of the most popular flavors when it comes to underarm the adrens

Smell like somebody who sleeps under his own cape It did I wait is that my highway man, the highway man didn't live on the side of the road? Well, he spent a lot of time at the side of the road. If you're not at the side of the road, you know, if you're a highway man in the middle of a field, you're a highway man not doing your job properly. You're a scarecrow. Is the scarecrow from, was it, I was gonna be one of the rogues. No.

Okay. Oh man. Well, I've got to say guys, it's been great being in this writers room. I've had a really wonderful time. But. So you're five years on the front., you're five years on the front. No, you can't fire me as I'm halfway out the door. You can't fire me. And also, you can't

fire me because you're not going to believe this. I'm the ultimate rogue. Yes, I've been in this writer's room the whole time as a naysayer picking apart the ideas. I've made your pitch stronger just by being the devil's advocate. That's right, it's me, the devil, the ultimate rogue. You know they say the devil's in the details? Good evening. Welcome to Rogue's Gallery 4. I've been here all alone. How's meeting?

Can we get this piece of the liver to the meat? How's meeting? Is this rapidly becoming a podcast where we just pitch brilliant ideas? Yes. I mean, it's definitely a strand, isn't it? I mean, it's definitely a strand isn't it? I mean there's definitely a house meeting was originally going to be us sort of setting the world to right but increasingly it's proving that what we should be doing is getting ourselves in a room you know, apparently you're more than welcome to run the writers room of three getting ourselves in a room and coming up with some treatments that are going to make us our

millions we need we need to get to Hollywood, basically. We've got to get ourselves out there. Listen to dear, are you an international film producer? If you are, then get in touch. Rogue's gallery is on the table. We're happy to make Rogue's gallery for you guys. And we're not tied to the casting. I know, Pary, very disappointed that Colin Farrell got the Dicturpin role. Who are you thinking of instead if it wasn't going to be him? Well, since we've finished that episode, I have to tell you that we have had news back from Farrell's representative and he's passed.

Oh, he's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He loved the script so much he keeled over and dies. Oh, he's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He loved the script so much he keeled over and dies. This is unbelievable. Quite the opposite. He hated the script so much he faked his own death. He's got a canoe man.

He's got a canoe man. Farrell's canoeed his way to Australia. So Godspeed. Godspeed. How the heck to a film I'd watch. Absolutely. So obviously, leave us a review on iTunes, get on our Twitter at Pappy's tweet, at Pappy's comedy for our Instagram as well. A few people haven't just discovered the Instagram loads of good stuff over there. Always fun to check it out. patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's flat share. I think that's pretty much it, isn't it? I'll run Facebook as well, I don't really make it.

Ah, it's a date. That's all, there it is. Today's episode was produced by the ultimate rogue, Emma Corsham. Corsham, Corsham team. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye! It's far and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Bye! See you at Prudetails.