Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Snowing Cats and Dogs) S9E37

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Charity singles, that's where the big money is... right? This episode is dedicated to legendary Weatherman John McCluskeyPappy’s -&nbsp...;https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee us live 3rd February - https://dice.fm/event/k8vao-pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-podcast-3rd-feb-moth-club-london-ticketsProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutford. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Greetings, listener dear. It's me, Tom! It's me, Ben. And it's me, Tom. It's me, Ben. And it's me, Matthew. The triple crown. The triple crown, yes. The triple crown. I like that.
Starting point is 00:00:33 I did. I did. Where's the triple crown? Does the triple crown... How many crowns? Does the triple crown mean three crowns? Or does it mean a triple pointed crown? Oh, very good.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Points. Or is it a sort of trippy point? Thank you very much, three points to me. Does it, is it a crown that sort of three crowns melded together that you have to wear like we're in a row? We have to wear it in a row with our arms round each other and people wouldn't like it if we were walking down the street. Like a three-legged race.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Listen, Adir, you decide. You decide whether or not we're in a way. Let us know, are we going to melt the crown? Do you melt the crown? Do you melt the crown? Yeah, we melt the crown. Have you met a meldocron? A meldocron? She's a wonderful actress.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Anyway, listen to that Netflix series, isn't she? This is exactly the kind of guff that you can experience today at one of our wonderful house meetings. Got what Christmasy feel today? Yes, a natural Christmas feel. It's always nice to start feeling Christmas, isn't it, when it gets to December? Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:01:32 It's just how I feel. Tom, you know what, that's a really, really good way of putting it. And I've started to start feeling Christmasy around what, let's call it the Christmas season. Why not? It just seems like the right time to do it. And listen a dear, if you're feeling Christmasassy, then why not leave us a review on our each. Seemless work there from Patti. Follow those five golden stars, please.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Follow the Triple Crown, give us five golden stars on iTunes. Also as well, there'll be loads of Christmassy bonus content on our Patreon. So if you fancy during the Patreon, it's patreon.com forward slash Patti's Flat Share. Yes. And if you'd like to send us an email, it's Pappy's Flat Share at gmail.com. If any of the issues spoken about today have affected you in some way. Absolutely. If you too have an obscure celebrity friend as we find out you to have like a lot of those friends. My my my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, let's sit down and chew the flat. Has meeting, what temperature should we set the heat?
Starting point is 00:02:48 Has meeting, why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting, who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting, what's the point? Does life have a meeting? Has meeting, if you want to help, help children in need. a'r pwyng ddysol o'r mynd i'r ffodd. Mae'r pwyng ddysol o'r mynd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith barely know anyone doing children in need. Would you stay up for it? No, no, no, I think it's not a sign of getting old. I think it's a sign of, because old people will know if one of the children in need. Because they'll be like BBC One.
Starting point is 00:03:53 It's fun to be in, it's fun to be in, cool. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, also, you know Tom Allen. He did children in need, this, didn't he? He did, you never bloody heard of him. LAUGHTER Well, we are the voice that is longing to speak. Creepy.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Yeah. I can't imagine. I mean, it wasn't a classic, was it? It wasn't. Wasn't he all the world? No. No. I can't say that. What all the world? No. No. I can't say that.
Starting point is 00:04:27 What are the ultimate... The ultimate charity song? It's his day. It's his day. Yeah, band-aid to the number one. Band-aid to the Holy Grail. So good, they did it four times, three times. I think it has been four.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Too many, no. They've ruined it. Oh, yeah, it's a sign you're getting old when you don't recognize. Should we pitch for is it worth us thinking of a charity song that hasn't been done yet like I'm really knock it out the park like an RSPCA classic or something. I mean, my clock is a singing dog. Cross with the dog. I've played a dog. I've played a dog on the telly. And your cross with the dog. And in the Papish show.
Starting point is 00:05:13 And in the Papish show. And I'm cross with the dog. And for your stature, we dress the opposite dog. As a dog. And yet Clark is a better singer. So it's the same thing. It's true. No, you can really hold a tune, actually.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Well, but I think crucially, what we need is, what we need is, and of course, Paddle best. Me playing the dog, Clarky singing in the rain style, just behind the curtain, singing, and I'm lip-sinking along. I thought you were singing in the rain style dancing. I did the dancing, but that's all.
Starting point is 00:05:44 No, no, you're singing behind the curtain, when I can see you. That bit of singing in the very style dancing. I did the dancing. No, no, you're singing behind the curtain. I'll see that bit of singing in the rain not the bit where they they run at the wall because they've stayed up all night Yeah, no one's nailed an RSPCA song, right? Well, it's interesting you say that because it does seem like There are a lot more people now who are into animals over people. Yeah, furries. If you're going to be doing... No, no. Don't put them in animals, that's the chorus. You guys could be like...
Starting point is 00:06:20 Wait, I'm going to sit up. I didn't say it off on this. You guys could be singing animals. I could come in at the three quarter mark and do a backstabular style spoken word rap as a snake. And this is going to nail it. Snakes have it hard to as well. Be nice to the snakes.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Eh. And then you guys carry that snake. Eh. Be nice to the snakes. Yeah. Or like, you know, like a Robbie Williams style spoken rap kind of, you had a bit of a spoken rap to start. You got a root boxer.
Starting point is 00:06:54 I'm coming. I'm coming root boxes of hamster. I would say that is a sign that you're getting old when you think that what's going to make this song really, what's going to really take this song to the top of the charts is a Robbie Williams style spoken word breakdown. Yeah, and then we'll get a little mix in as cats. Little mix in as cats. That's the only bit I can get behind. In fact, maybe that's the main bit.
Starting point is 00:07:15 So, yeah, I think in fact, you're absolutely right. First thing we should do in any project now is uncast ourselves. Uncast ourselves. Uncast ourselves. Uncats ourselves. Uncats ourselves. Yes. And so having having little mix as cats. We get to make them nightmarish like the cats. Well, this is it. You don't, you don't do it. You bring it out around the same time as the trailer for the movie, as the movie cats, right? Right. So you bring it out at the same time.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Yeah, but we can't think we think we steer clear of that car crash. We do it right. It's going to be in the zeit, guys. People are going to be into that movie. People are going to want to watch that movie. So we do it right by we get a little mix to sing. I was in the sax. I played his little mix the other day.
Starting point is 00:08:00 And that's really, that was quite exciting it's quite, and it though, it's quite exciting. Fingers crossed it was a little chef. Little chef. Little mix. No, it was like... No, I had a mixed girl. Only a small one. It was quite exciting. You know, if I was in the cafe with one of Little Mix, I would have been, I would probably would have known, but like, seeing them as a unit, that's quite exciting. That's how Event Diagram works, isn't it? If you think you saw, so it's like,
Starting point is 00:08:34 a little mix of a little, yeah, but like, if you thought, if I saw just one of Little Mix, maybe if I saw Jesse from Little Mix, I would recognize her. Yeah, but if I, I couldn't Mix, I would recognise her. Yeah. But if I couldn't name any of the other ones. No. But if I saw, you're right, if you saw a few of them, the fact you saw them together. Or, yeah, the full, the full gamut. The full gamut.
Starting point is 00:08:55 And what were they doing in the cat? I like seeing puppies and that. Absolutely. You might see one of us and think, is that? Could it be? Is that a dog? Is that a dog? Has someone left that dog on the chain? That's why they're shocked. Is that could it be that guy plays a dark? Is that a dog? Someone left that dog on chain. That's why the shop. Is that a dog?
Starting point is 00:09:07 I know it's Christ that close because you get into the car to be shopping. Has anyone ever come up to you with a ball of water and said there you go? Oh all the time. All the time. I love it. I'm really hydrated now. I'll absolutely. After you. So, so yeah, so it's about to catch and dog's home. Lovely.
Starting point is 00:09:28 Everybody supports that, right? We get... We get a time of year to kind of tie it to, maybe Christmas. Maybe. Dogs not for life, that's the bent of the song, isn't it? A dog is for life, don't... I think the bent of the song should be a dog is for life. Oh, hi, hi, hi, hi, Christmas Oh, I don't get yourself a Christmas dog
Starting point is 00:09:47 Just a Christmas dog I'll just be here for a week. I will make your festival. It's hard to write lyrics. Can I? Can I ask a few questions though? What's the snake doing? Well, it's new years after you've snake. It's an old boxing day snake. Snake, seven. Oh, two guys. The Admin Hadda. Hi, it's me, the Admin Tadda. Do not put me near a ladder, Ru-Box.
Starting point is 00:10:14 You throw the Ru-Box in. You throw the Ru-Box in. I've listened to Ru-Box for a while. Wacken, for a while. The Admin. Yeah, the Adra Advin calendar. And it's about responsible petting a Christmas. There could be, listen, when was the last great charity
Starting point is 00:10:30 Christmas number one, bandaid? There's a real gap in the market. And I also think if we go, it's a cover the market for charity. If we exploit our connections, we could get some selection. Oh, now we're seeing in, what? Sign the longs.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Yeah, that's a great question. Well, just as we were going into the office, Claudia Winkleman was coming in as well at the same time. I passed Winkleman. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, did you? Yeah, yeah, that's... We were the same building.
Starting point is 00:10:57 We were the same building, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was about to say an anecdote, I realised you were telling me that anecdote. I was with the Archim couldn't believe you missed that. Yeah, but you got to keep it. Did you say it? No.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Yeah, she had a little game of they were going in for a meeting. But we could, well, sure, we could pop into the end of the meeting. It must be so busy being win-comman. You can't avoid that. No, no, that's it. It must be so busy. That's why there was a big silence. After everyone was one of it. You must be so busy. That's why there was a big silence. After everyone was one of these.
Starting point is 00:11:26 It must be so busy having an actual career. So the silence. Okay, so what animal is when coming in and being in the other local cat? She's holding on. Positively feeling. We need to mix it up on the animals. We need to get some people to play dogs, right?
Starting point is 00:11:42 Okay, if you've got, if you've got, you've got, no, no, no. But it just cats and dogs. Yeah, I think that's a cat and dogs. I think we're really getting the Matthew to be behind the curtain with me. I think I'm, yeah, do you know what, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm catting myself on this. We'll get some celebrity cats and dogs. Your self-dress as a dog mate.
Starting point is 00:11:56 We're gonna be like, we dress a dog to, you know, to come directly. Oh, yeah, it's a pretty weekend, isn't it? So lately, why not? So we're gonna be like, old, is it mid-Jewel? Mid-Jewel was, he wrote, he wrote, pretty weekend, isn't it? So lately, why not? So we're gonna be like, is it mid-Jewel? Mid-Jewel was, he wrote Band-Aid, yeah. But he's not in the video. Well, he, oh, sorry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:12 He's in the video and he sings on Band-Aid, so I think it's a bad example. Oh, we're not gonna be mid-Jewel. Sorry. The opposite of mid-Jewel. We're gonna be opposite of mid-Jewel, whoever stood behind the camera, you'll never know. But you know, mid-Jewel isn't the face of Band-Aid, is he?
Starting point is 00:12:25 It's Barlow and all that like, you know. He's like, he's pulling the strings. I think we should feature in, I want us to be around in a bow, because it's like, this is our big chance. Well, I was gonna suggest, I was gonna suggest that the Harry Bikers play two dogs. Oh, that's really nice idea.
Starting point is 00:12:42 So the Harry Bikers, their dogs, little mix and Claudia Winklemann, a cat. I'm a snake. You're a snake. Now the snake. On the root box snake. I still feel like the root box snake for me is the sticking point. Oh, I got one. I don't want to, I hate. The name of the collective. I hate to be a nice thing. Christmas dogs by the root box snake. This is not a bad idea, is it? That a great idea. OK.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Sorry for the coffin, but I like that. No, that's all right. Don't worry about it. What if Will Young's in the mix? Will Young? There's a gerbil. I just think, I think what we need is a capsule. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:20 You think it's a cat's and dogs kind of start. It's the cat's, your pets. It's a bit of a medley of cats and dogs and it's kind of like that's the lead. That's where you're going with it. And it's a bit summer loving. I got a great start though. Okay. What about this?
Starting point is 00:13:38 You get famous weather person, right? Hard to think of them nowadays. I know it's going to be big. There used to be, there was John Ketley. John Ketley's a weather person, right? Yeah. Hard to think of them nowadays. I know it's going to be big. There used to be, there was John Ketley. John Ketley's a weather. There was Michael Fish, another one. There was Orika Johnson, John McCluskey. John McCluskey was he one?
Starting point is 00:13:57 Well, I'm going to throw him in there. I can't say that he wasn't. McCluskey was there. McCluskey. He's definitely the top five. McCluskey was another top five. Mitchell the strings and also being on the weather. But what you'd have is you'd start it off
Starting point is 00:14:11 like a weather broadcast, right? Standing in front of the map of Britain. The weather. The weather. Sadly missed. So you have them standing by the big map of Britain and saying, across Britain in his raining How the sick
Starting point is 00:14:28 Rubs rubs their eyes. Whoa Cats and dogs The Crash of the ceiling The glass ceiling splatter on the floor Little mix burst through the glass ceiling. No, of course they do You know they're just do it themselves. Hang on, is that the song?
Starting point is 00:14:48 No, no, no, no. It's not raining men. You see me towards raining men in a minute. No, no, no, no. It is. What did you say to someone? I was trying to think, to think what I thought was the start of raining men,
Starting point is 00:14:59 but I think it was tragedy. It's got the same sort of pain. Yeah, there you go. It's got big connection. I think we wanted, there you go. It's got a big collection. I think we wanted to be a bit more summer loving kind of. And it's a Christmas song. It's a Christmas song, so it's not about summer, but it's in the style of cats and dogs
Starting point is 00:15:16 singing against each other. Oh, like Rundin and C versus Eris. Yeah. So that's for some of loving vibe. It's like pink late, but here's the thing, and I wanna make sure, I wanna cover ourselves. Okay. So far, all the guys are dogs and all the girls are cats.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Right, that doesn't have to be that way. It's a little bit gendered, it's a little bit heteronormative. Let's mix it up a bit. Let's mix it up a little bit. Yeah, of course. Okay, let's think of. Who's to be, you know, who is a man who could also play a cat? Styles. Harry Styles. Harry Styles would be a great cat. Good call. That's a real big name for us as well.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Very, very big. Too big. I'm going to throw this out there. Phil Tuffinal. Okay, I like where you're going because... He's an alley cat. You're bringing radio to into the mix. Aren't you? And I think that's going to be good for our sales. Tuffers, yeah, absolutely. What about Storms, he has a dog. Storms, he has a dog.
Starting point is 00:16:15 If Storms, he were a dog, yeah, absolutely. Okay. Sure. Clarky. Clarky. We've got to lose that. Clarky's quite losing faith in the project. That's how it feels.
Starting point is 00:16:26 I just, I'm not sure the line up is, is strong enough? We've got Stormsy. We've got Little Mix. We've got Tuffers. Yeah. We've got John McCaskill. We've got John McCaskill. What's a name? John McCloskey. John McCloskey. John McCloskey's involved. He's a John McCloskey.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Can you Google if John McCloskey is a live or dead or ever existed? He's John McCloskey, crucially. Okay, guys. Choding as weather, man. We're going to pause. We're going to pause this episode of House Meeting for just a second to play our favorite game. Alive, dead, never existed. So you're joining us now.
Starting point is 00:17:01 It's a very exciting game. We've got John McCluskey is in place. John McCluskey's in the mix. I'm gonna say alive existed. A live existed. It might not be his name. And Clark is gonna go for dead but never existed. Always. And you're gonna head your best with. You said it's John McCluskey's a lot of different. I'm going live and never existed. Clark is going dead, never existed. You're gonna go alive existed. Okay, producer Emma, would you tell us please, if John McCluskey? Will you leave?
Starting point is 00:17:29 Is John McCluskey alive or whether man and did he exist? Well, I searched John McCluskey and it came up with a boxer. And then now I've tried John McCluskey with a man. And that's not giving me any. Is it Ian Magaske you're thinking of? OK, John McCluskey. So he...
Starting point is 00:17:48 There's only one John McCluskey. Somebody's name and they probably were alive, but I can't find a weatherman called John McCluskey. Oh, take it. I live never existed. I'm afraid it's going to be a live. I take it. A live never existed.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Yeah. So I mean, that's it. You take your chance. I mean, we actually live. Okay. You roll the dice. Let's do one more round. Clarky.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Give us a name. Give us a profession. We'll work out. A live, slash dead, slash never existed. This is a strong game. This is how we play okay Could I can I hedge moa? Can I go with like? You go for a garden Tim Smith footballer. Oh
Starting point is 00:18:34 That's actually a good that's a good way to play. It's a smart way to play. Thanks mate. I'm gonna go for Dead never existed Both never existed. Yeah. Both never existed, I'm dead. Absolutely. I am the worst combo. Tim Smith footballer, I'm gonna go for a live existed. Ah. That would be a real, that was a great shot kid, one in a million. And the Star Wars moment.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Is that the Star Wars? That's right, isn't it? That was a great shot kid, one in a million. Is that the Star Wars? That's right, isn't it? That was a great shot kid, one in a million. Is that the line? I don't know. Did that line exist? Did it exist? Hold it for the nebrixist.
Starting point is 00:19:13 We've got round three. OK, if we start fact checking this podcast, we'll never finish. We'll never finish. But let's just wrap this game up very quickly. Tim Smith, producer, I'm a Tim Smith, was he a footballer? Or was he, in fact, was he a footballer crucially easy alive?
Starting point is 00:19:30 So there is a Tim Smith. Alive. Oh, it's good start. I can't get alive. There are Tim Smiths out there. There is one who is an Australian footballer. There we go. Back in.
Starting point is 00:19:42 That's what I meant. It is a different kind of game. Oh, Aussie rules. Tim again. That's what I meant. It is different kind of guys. Aussie rules. Teme Smith. Sorry what? Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim. Okay. Tim, Tim, Tim.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Okay. Tim, Tim, Tim. Guys, that was over. We're going to pause this round of Alive Slashdeads. Slashdeads never existed to play. How good is your Aussie accent? Okay. You've got to say Smith.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Oh, I know. It's Teme Smith. You've got to say Teme Smith. My name is Tim Smith. I'm an Aussie rules football. I go, Paris, begin. My name's Tim Smith and I'm an Aussie rules football, mate. I tell you what, I don't know. He was lulling us into a false sense of security and I'm touching quite good. There were some good moments in there.
Starting point is 00:20:22 There were some highlights. A few cinnables really took me back to Queensland. I'm going to go on a great slander. My name's Tim Smith, and I'm an Australian footballer. I got a little bit lost. Do you know what? I don't know what my professionalism is. That is actually a vocal tick that some Australians have of ending it like a question. I'm going to go on a great slander. I'm going to go on a great slander.
Starting point is 00:20:39 My name's Tim Smith, and I'm an Australian footballer. Well, I got a little bit lost. Do you know what? I don't know what my professionalist is. That is actually a vocal tick that some Australians have of ending it like a question. Oh yeah always. So that's that's not bad okay. Here we go. Here we go. Monheim's Tim Smith, an almond Aussie rules footballer. It's nice. It's nice. Producers should. Out of those three, what's your reckon? I think you got it. Congratulations, Clarky, well done.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Of course, must be, crossbees, voice from behind the curtain. That's right, you must be behind the curtain. Now I'll tie him. Wait for you. Alright, back to the episode. Good ball, Venetian. Which episode? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Where are we now? Oh, wait, no, don't house me. You've been sectioned ourselves. I hope you're going to like it. Um, which, wait, wait, which episode? Yeah. Where are we now? Oh, wait, no, don't house me. You've inception that house. I'm going to drop backwards into this bath of water by me and come back to the way. Basically, the bad news is for our charity single right, we haven't been able to secure John McCluskey's services.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Ah, that's so. On the fact that he doesn't exist, okay? So, so that's where we're at. But, so there is a hole in the liner. The only reason, what did he call up was on board was because he told the job of Krasky was gonna do. We've got real trouble now. We've got to invent a John McClash.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Would it be poignant if we empty-chared him? And you're poignant. So during the song, it'd be like dedicated to John McClash. Like, in that moment, it's like, there's just a microphone and empty chair and we put on the sort of... McCluskey. We know.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Zero dash to zero. Never existed. Sadly, never existed. Oh my God. Imagine having gone your... Imagine when you're a tombstone. Never existed. I like that so much.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Oh, do you know what Jack Lemmon has on his tombstone? No, what? Starring Jack Lemmon. Really good. So cool, right? Yeah, it's very, very good. That's very nice. Yeah. So having never existed on your tombstone,
Starting point is 00:22:35 that's going to confuse a few people having a lovely stroll through the graveyard on a summer's day. I find those people odd. What? The ones who go for a stroll in the graveyard. Well, I go through a stroll. I live there for a graveyard.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Yeah. Do you find, you're funny quite mordling. Well, it's, it's... I quite like graveyards. Yeah. What's your, what's the appeal? Very beautiful. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:00 They, er... It's just, it's interesting to think about other people's lives, isn't it? It's interesting to sort of place yourself, you know, it places you in time and you don't like life is very short, perspective, bit of perspective, like everyone is effectively life short, I'm going to get out this graveyard. No, no, it's time. No, I think it makes you realize what a precious gift life is and what a great leveler death is.
Starting point is 00:23:29 You all end up saying, well, it doesn't matter what, so it's about filling your life with good things. We come from the think, exactly. We return to think. We return to nothing. Or we return to a very rare grave. That's true, I mean, but then I think there's something of the, there's something of the,
Starting point is 00:23:44 Aussie Mandius about that, isn't there? You know, where, like if you see the people with the players in the cup for a thotting hem, we could get him in. Oh, that's it, we could go Aussie in. Get Aussie in. There's a little terrier. Oh, yeah. Aussie isis a terrier. Aussie isis a terrier, it's an offset-filled tuftinal.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Can I just very quickly? It's a cat. Tuftinal's nicknames the cat, isn't it? Is it? Is it? I think that must be what have happened. That must be what have happened. Somewhere deep in the recess of my brain.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Is it known as the caxi likes to sleep? So. It likes a kip. It likes a kip, yeah. In front of the fire? It is in the changing rooms used to kip. It does, yeah. It likes a smoke, likes a kip. What doesn't. Like to smoke, like to keep.
Starting point is 00:24:25 What a life. What a guy, doesn't spend a lot of time in Graveyard. No, exactly. He didn't spend a lot of time. It feels like a, you know, well I'll tell you this. He never spent much time in Graveyard. And now he's spending all his time in Graveyard. That would be a good.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I tell you what, he hated Graveyard. He's going to fuck you, ain't this? But yeah, and I think when you see the people with the big graves and they're all run down, you go, you can build a big grave, you're only prolonged in the inevitable. Mine's gonna have a pair of cup tans coming out of the grave of the sea stone. And you're gonna be embalmed and just resting in state
Starting point is 00:25:02 in those cup tans, like Lenin's, like Lenin's, uh, cadaver. My wife isn't religious, but she's expressly desired. She wants an open casket, coffee, types of, for a few knowle, and I'm really, I'm not sure on what I'm like. She's quite a bit about it. Do that. Yeah, you could still do open casket, yeah. I don't, I think you can do it if you want, eh?
Starting point is 00:25:26 No, it's, if my mind, it's always like a little American thing. Well, I think you've only ever seen it in my film. I think what actually happened is like, because a bit of backstory, my grandmother passed away recently, and my parents went to visit her in the Chapel of Rest. They got to see her for the last time. I think that's why they do it.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Rather than having OpenCarsk it funeral, you can go and visit the body in the Chapel of rest, they got to see her for the last time. I think that's where they do it. Rather than having open casket funeral, you can go and visit the body in the chapel of rest and then it's a close casket cremation. Famously for my clusky funeral. An empty coffin. Empty coffin. A empty coffin. Oh, but a packed church.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Oh, for a man who never existed. For a clusky. What an impact. Absolutely right. I know. I mean, huge. Can I just say, yes, the cats I like, the dogs I like, but isn't it, isn't Maclaski who should be right? Should we write song for Maclaski?
Starting point is 00:26:12 A song for Maclaski? But with Macfly? We could get, we could get to the tune of American Pie. We could get the band Maclaski today. Dream of the band Maclaski? No. They had a brilliant album called Maclaski Dude Alice. They did that song, um, uh, Lightsaber, Cocksuck and Blues, You'll know it if you hear it.
Starting point is 00:26:30 In fact, in fact, It's played. It was like... It was like... Or a part of Crosby's favorite dreams. Can we drop in 15 seconds of Lightsaber, Cocksuck and Blues into this? Is 15 seconds allowed? 10 seconds for review purposes.
Starting point is 00:26:45 I'm coming my eyes when she told me the news, turning me on with my lightsaber, cock sucking, baby, hold it, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, of my faith found to see life. I don't want to. No longer. No longer with us. Past the way I know. Yeah. I'm afraid so. I'm just a bit concerned now. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Yeah. I'm just thinking if we have a charity signal to raise money for the family of a man who has never existed, I'll be... Are we breaking the law? Yeah, I mean, it feels like we start with very pure intentions and now it's become a scam. I don't know if we start with pure intentions because our main thing was like, it wasn't about the charity, it was about the fact that we wanted to do a thing called... A Christmas number one. I think for the animals. I think the problem is, we want to release a song we're thinking,
Starting point is 00:27:36 if we just release a song, you know, we're incredibly talented musical performers. The dogs of John McCluskey. But the dogs of John McClusky. That sounds like a valid... It sounds like an old Irish folk ballad, yeah. People like that at Christmas. Bit of pan pipes. It's true, actually.
Starting point is 00:27:55 It's not a bad time for pan pipes. It's good, famously. It's a good time for pan pipes. Famously a good time for pan pipes, the Christmas season. So I think the problem is, if we don't release it for charity reasons, it's not gonna get the coverage we need.. If we don't get tough and all involved, if we don't get weak, weak, and weak. Tough as is already on board. That's that big thing,
Starting point is 00:28:12 though. Tough as is yeah. So I think what we do is we, we, we, this is, I've found the tasteful way to do it. At the very end. I know you would. I mean, of course, you know, it's just a matter of time, isn't it? This is to raise money for, we know, for dogs and cats and RSPCA and that's a dog's home and animal charities. All of them. Yeah, yeah. But at the end, raise the concept of animals. At the end, a very tasteful title card that just comes up and says, dedicated to the
Starting point is 00:28:39 memory of John McCluskey and we tip our hat. That's, that I think is not it. And is there going to be a black and white photograph? And if so, who's it going to be of? and we tip our hat. That I think is not. Is there going to be a black and white photograph? And if so, who's it going to be on? Or are we going to have to do a sort of portmanteur of our three faces? That's going to serve you.
Starting point is 00:28:54 In fact, that's what we'll do. We'll get a Photoshop. So it's basically like a version of our three faces melded together. The kind of key aspects of our three faces. I think there could be a way of doing it way. Do I have a key aspect of my face? Of course you do.
Starting point is 00:29:11 I felt like you two have got distinctive features and I'm just like a guy. You're a big fucking mouse. Yeah, you're a big slopping gob. Or you're a big fucking gob. You're not that fucking big bit of a fucker face. I don't know if I chid particularly big. No, it's just this kind of big area here, that's just a sort of rank or pick going on there.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Just a real shit. And I was slobbering, all that fucking stater than you know. And actually the nose is nothing to write over there. Oh, no, no, no, that's fucking it. It, I can't know. No, exactly that's it. I'm in his rock over there. Yeah, exactly that's right. You did a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good piece of shit actually. What's going on? I didn't know what a bit Lord of the Fly is there. We really tend on you fucking. Can we get this piece of Deliverton or Meet? I'll be dead.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutford. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th. A cast powers the world's best podcast.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. e-cast.com What about if we just have this is take again very tasteful in memory of John McCluskey and then it's the picture of a figure turning towards a weather map
Starting point is 00:31:33 So you don't see in his face. You just know Outlying in front of the weather map lovely I Tasteful can I just say can I just say the John McCluskey weatherman thing? Lovely. I tasteful. Can I just say the John McCluskey weatherman thing? The problem with that is there are problems. It's the weatherman aspect that made me realize that he made us realize he never existed Right, okay, so maybe we play down the weatherman Okay, so it's dead. So it's not a weather map. It's just a man turning to look at a map You know you fucked out the weather bit? Sure.
Starting point is 00:32:07 No, no, those little clouds are. OK, little s- It's a man turning to look at a map of clockies fucking fake. Well, look at it. He's a man, trying to make a picture of clocky. But he's like, look at the fucking contours on that. And then you'll have to release a statement saying, look, I'm not John McCluskey.
Starting point is 00:32:25 That might be the real tragedy of your life if people actually think you're McCluskey. If you've just been waiting for what is going to be the tragedy in my life, waiting for McCluskey. If you walk into like a shop and everybody turns around and goes, oh my god, he's back. McCluskey. He's back from never having existed in the first place. Do you think then I could pursue a career in being the weatherman, I'm too thin?
Starting point is 00:32:49 You, by the way, would make a great weatherman. Do you think so? Yeah, because you're facing like a relief map. Yes. I could do, you know, when they used to do like on morning television where they had the big, the big, with Fred the weatherman. We were talking about earlier, yeah. You really need to concentrate more on our podcasts. Yeah, big... With Fred the weather, man. We were talking about earlier, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:05 You really need to concentrate more on our podcasts. Yeah, you know, Fred the weather man, he had the big, he floating, the floating map he would run on, he would be in running right. He'd be pull over, and then it's... Was that your face? He turned out, unfortunately, to be a pedophile. Oh no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:17 So, I wouldn't take that job if I were you. Not the telepenny of the moment. If... Pitying satire. If my clfft! Piting satire. If my clusky was spotted back from having not existed. Yeah. Would he be the first person to have doing accused of faking his own... Life.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Life. Yeah. Like, it's not that he faked his own death. He faked the fact that he never existed. He's like the opposite of canoeing man. Yeah. He suddenly shows up hook canoe and they're like we never knew gone We never can you you've gone
Starting point is 00:33:51 So would be unbelievable of Clarky if if Clarky Fakes his death as Clarky but fakes his life as McCluskey, I mean the two for all I would say is if we do make a film about the life of John McCluskey, you're in the mix to play him. You're in the little mix to play him. But it's not going to be to do with our charity single. Oh really, you're worried it's going to bring too much negative. I'm worried now. Yeah, I think we've got toppers. No, we've got toppers on board. If he finds out about the McCluskey
Starting point is 00:34:26 Ruse he'll be really angry you know that honestly he'll fall straight asleep. He's a straight talker is they toughest he plays with a straight back if win Cummins people find out about the McCluskey Ruse we're in trubs. Yeah, should be little we don't a little mix don't need the bad press. No, okay? So but McFly I mean that's the only positive to come out of this homo-clusky scenario. What, we might get McFly in for the third verse. And McClusky are not going to be involved at all. The McClusky estate are reclining, they're reclining. They're with Thomas.
Starting point is 00:34:59 They're with Thomas. No, but I mean the band McClusky, we're not bringing them in, it's just too much negative press. I think it's too much negative press. OK, fair enough. All right. So I think instead what we're looking at is a first verse that's cats and dogs sparring. Second verse of cats and dogs get along.
Starting point is 00:35:16 The snake root box in smooth. All right, how come? How come this is still survived? How is this still survived? You root boxing the snake. OK, well, if we get someone, I mean, there might be an argument to get Robbie Williams in. There might be, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:31 It's a rude box. I'd love to hear it. Hahaha. Why is Williams getting involved? We've got some top celebs. You're already Williams and his wife. He isn't the experience to go an A-sense now? No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:41 He was on a... He did that salt about parting like a Russian. Oh, yeah, he did that song about parting like a Russian. I wasn't glad it was it. Absolute. Treated. Treated. Well, each to their own.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Sure. I mean, I enjoyed it. Yes. Yes. But, well, anyway, some kind of Ru-Box interlude with a snake. And then the final end is like a jam, because they always end in a jam these things. A jill was Holland's name.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Yeah, jam. Where it's like loads of like, and then that's where you just chuck your... It's a minadjri. You know, you just get everyone in, and it's like, here's fucking McCartney. The last six drummers. Yeah, here's McCartney as a parrot.
Starting point is 00:36:17 You know, Chris Martin's a vol. And it's like everyone's just popping up going, the vols have it, good to add to. Is it like Monster Mash? LAUGHTER Vols were having fun. The Miracats aren't just big on. Yes, yes, yes, here we go, now we're talking. And then it's like, who's in town, get them in, you know, Sanita, the fucking, someone more relevant. No, Sanita's good.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Sanita's still, yeah, there you go. Whoever wins Pop Oil this year, they all just crop up, they'll sing a line off we go. I think this is good. It's not bad. What's the title though? We haven't got a title for the song. And it's because the thing is, do we want to lure people in
Starting point is 00:36:56 with the idea of it being all animals, or do you want to surprise them with the final verse? Do you want to start it with like, you know, do you want to call it simply cats and dogs? Maybe cats and dogs. Make hookballs involved. He's a little ginger-tongue. Oh, Hucknaw has a big cat. Have you heard simply read new single? No. It is superb. Are we turning into a review podcast? Because for review purposes, can we play ten seconds on it? Can we play, it's called Ring That Bell.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Okay, this is what I like. We're going to play ten seconds of it, and then Clark, he's going to review it, but he's never listened to it. Yeah, we're not going to play it now. And then we'll listen in hindsight and see if it matches up. Here we are with Simpley. Ten seconds of Ring That Bell that bell by Simply Red. Ring that bell. Why don't you ring it well? There's some bad men,
Starting point is 00:37:52 Bessons for the future. Let's give them hell. Wow. Yeah? It's a strong flavour. LAUGHTER This is good. Hey, this is a really good idea for a podcast. This is like Lammo's roundtable. We play
Starting point is 00:38:08 10 seconds to the list now. Clarky hasn't heard anything and he reviews it and we just see it. It's a strong flavour. What do you think is so strong about the flavour? Well, the instrumentation, first of all, is... Well, it doesn't sound like simply red. Interesting. You know? I mean, obviously, his distinctive voice. I thought you were going to... I thought you were going to Tim Smith this, but you're not.
Starting point is 00:38:37 You're actually picking a side. I'm very impressed. And it's cool. So enjoyed his... ...rude box style. It's all graphic. Glocky. Glocky, you've got... Glocky, get out. I also enjoyed his, uh, rude box style. It's all crappy. Glocky, Glocky.
Starting point is 00:38:47 You've got to get out. Get out, we'll get out. Get closer to Tim Smith. Tim Smith again. So the song for the list I want to have heard this already, but the song for you guys, it's, um, it's about, it's sort of like a protest song. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Still funky. Still groove. Is it a Christmas song? No. It's called Ring the Bell. It's called Ring that Bell. Ring funky, still groove. Is it a Christmas song? No. It's called Ring the Bell. It's called Ring that Bell. Ring that or ring those bell. He's releasing it in November, it's called Ring that Bell. It's not Christmas. No, it's too funky to be Christmas. What rules a mug? Well, here's the thing. You think he's a mug. It's got the lyric, right? So it's it's all about these bad men missing with our future, right? Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Which I can totally agree with. There are bad memories messing with our future. You know, he's famously left leaning in his politics, hence simply read. That's the title. His hair and his politics. That's why he called it. It's the call to ban simply read. And his solution is we've got to ring that bell.
Starting point is 00:39:37 And he says you've got to play your ding dong strong. Whoa. Yeah. Words to live by. Words to live by. Play your ding dong strong. Whoa, yeah. Words to live by. Words to live by. Play a ding dong strong. Do we make a big doously? He did play his ding dong strong.
Starting point is 00:39:54 A little too strong in the 90s, yeah. With so many with with McCutchen, with Jenny Powell. Hang on. What? Bloody hell. We get hooked now. He is a root into all of those names. Absolutely. If you want Marty McCutchen on the same level,
Starting point is 00:40:10 it works. In fact, it could be a problem. If we hire Hucknell, are we going to lose a lot of talent because they all know they can't be in the same room as they are. I think it didn't McCutchen thrive in his hair and that's why he had to cut his dreadlocks off. I love that. What? What is all this? This is all just news to me. Do you not know much about Simply Red, man? No, clearly not.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Which is crazy because I think, Simply Red is the kind of band I would imagine you'd be into. I need the guitarist. Did you? Facebook friends with the guitarist. And he hasn't told you this story. He hasn't told you about the man. How good a friend is.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Well, he's holding out on you, man. Not very. He's the Teach My Brother bass guitar. What's amazing to me is that you're you're actually kind of humble bragging. You're like you're really like I know the tone of your voice and this is the tone you use when you're like actually really proud of something you like. I think I'm impressive. Oh yeah, I know. I just find it. Oh yeah, I know you do cry for me. I know you do, I do.
Starting point is 00:41:09 I tell you what, this is all amazing to me. I think I'm really enjoying this scene. I think you're a fucking maker, right? I'm really enjoying it. The whole scene actually. This is a classic, Papi's podcast thing, going on right now. Crucially, what I think we need to get to the bottom of is,
Starting point is 00:41:23 if we hire Hucknaut, is it to be a problem on the day of the record? Right, Hucknell is going to be a boo. Or is that going to be a boot? That going to be the cat amongst the pigeons. Or is it the case where, look, the 90s was a while ago. You know, like there's a certain thing where it's like, well, look, we were all there back then. Statue of limitations.
Starting point is 00:41:37 I could call Jenny up now and she had loved to come down. Yeah, yeah. And then Powell's in the mix, my kitchen. So is he actually going to be a benefit to the record? I mean he is because we vote on it. You get that vocal on there. We vote on it. Okay. All right. Okay. I'm Clark you we know ask first of all you sure he existed I can't let's let's let's play. Is he alive? Is he dead? Is he simply read? A live or simply read a A live dead, simply red.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Okay. It's not a bad game actually. No, this is a bad game. Oh, you're right. This is a very bad game. So, just try and be supportive. You don't have to yes and everything, God says. So, we vote. Is Hurtnullin, Clarky? He pointed to me. No, we vote. He's hooked not in. Clarky.
Starting point is 00:42:26 You pointed to me. No, I know. You pointed across the big Ted Clarky, which is a confusing thing. I'm worried about Clarky's vote because Clarky's biased. Are you trying to succession us? You're trying to sort of game the vote here. Oh, I don't have, I can't see that ghost, no spoilers. Right, no spoilers. Basically, I've signed our company over into the hands of a guy called John McCluskey. You signed it all right in Classkey
Starting point is 00:42:49 Right final vote for me. Huck was in. Huck was in Huck was a cat. No, I'm not playing Okay, okay, but if it means we don't get Jenny Powell That's on your hands. That's on your hands guys. Jenny Powell isn't there to play a Chihuahua, that's fine. Okay, okay, I'm having that. Well, let's look at the final line up then. Okay. Okay, and make sure we're all happy with this. Sure. The song's called Cats and Dogs, right?
Starting point is 00:43:12 I feel like we could have done that with the dogs. Who were you absolutely agree? But it's called Cats and Dogs. It's about pets at Christmas. What about Dem Crazy Cats? That's not fair. And it's going to a zoot-suit riot feel to it. Yeah, but what about the dogs?
Starting point is 00:43:27 What about Dem Crazy Cats, brackets, and Dem Dogs? Guys, once again, I've got a tasteful suggestion. Yeah. It's knowing cats and dogs. It's snowing cats and dogs. It's not bad. It's quite bad. It might be bad. It's bad, but at the same time, I think it is the type of a dog. It's got a Christmas bent. It's snowing cats and dogs. It's got a Christmas
Starting point is 00:43:51 bent. It's snowing cats and dogs is growing on me by the second. Yeah. Well, as you know, ideas of the new time. Right. So I've just said a thing. I guess what? I love it. It's snowing cats and dogs, right? So the cats and the dogs, they're going to love it. It's snowing cats and dogs, right? So the cats and the dogs, they're going to do it. It's going to be a bit like some are loving, a bit like Rundy MC and it roasts me. Yeah. The cat, but with tubular bells at the back of her head.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Yeah, absolutely. Huck's Null is involved. Claudia Wincomman, Phil Turfnull and Little Mix. I feel like we're going to shot for the moon here. Harry Styles was mentioned, but I'm not sure we're going to be able to get him. The Harry bikers play two dogs. No, the dogs. We might be a bit light vocally on the dog film.
Starting point is 00:44:32 It's the Harry bikers, the only people carrying the dog first, because we might have gone short. Yeah. Fuck me! We've only got the hairy bikers. Not fly, we've talked about McFly, but we've talked about McFly. We've talked about McFly, but we didn't bring it in. We didn't make the call.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Oh my God. Right. We've got real problems there. We've got real problems. We're going to have to get JLS on the blower or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, we've got Stormzy. Stormzy, we've got Stormzy.
Starting point is 00:45:01 We've got Stormzy. We've got Stormzy. We've got... That the hairy bikers. Actually, genuinely broken to have cold sweat then, thinking, Oh my God, we're recording. Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy I can't see it there. I can't see it there, I can't see it. To Stormzies people know that that's the setup. Well, we keep, we've told the Harry bikers, they're the cockers. Oh, they're delighted. They've actually got a set-prote sidecar. First Stormzies to go in.
Starting point is 00:45:35 For the, yeah. Stormzies not going to get in the sidecar. Stormzies not going to get in the sidecar. Stormzies happy in the sidecar. Okay, great. And then we've got the snake root box. Robby Williams. Williams?
Starting point is 00:45:49 Oh, he's got big box because of what is it? I love that. I mean, we've got Robbie Williams and Beardy Man together. Tragically. And then the fake eat itself. And then the final verse, it is a jam of Nick, Nore's exes. Oh, it's not the jam though.
Starting point is 00:46:03 It's not Paul Weller. Weller might have started with Nick, I don't know. Who? No, it's a jam of... Oh, so it's not the jam though, it's not Paul Weller. Weller might have slowed me, could not. Who could? You know, seems a different time. He might have done. Why not? That might be what Shouts at the top's all about. Weller is exactly the kind of guy I'd had in mind
Starting point is 00:46:16 to turn up in that final section and be like, I'm all so a mama, it's all something. All so a mama. You know, like when all the anime was going to be well-a-martin, you know, all the guys who like to turn up. All the guys. That's a lovely bit of business from Colocky. Really good stuff.
Starting point is 00:46:37 You know, people who like to turn up and be like, we're all jamming here. And it goes a bit cool. We don't even need to call Chris Martin. Chris Martin will just be there. Obviously, we know Martin is going to be there. the ultrasonic Martin will just be there obviously we know it's gonna be there Uh And then and then you know the stars will fly the other you know banana Rama show up of course
Starting point is 00:46:51 Oh my god, I'd love that uh the remaining members of Bucks Fizz We might have to we might have to row it back from what's slightly older We might be too radio one yeah I love this and I think finally also as well what you want is somebody playing an instrument you're like I didn't realize they can you know like when you see on the stonk Rowan Atkinson's playing the drums and you're like I didn't know as you could play the drums what we need is somebody who you, I didn't realise they could play the drums. So I reckon Trevor McDonald. Trevor McDonald on the drums.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Well, Trevor McDonald on the keyboards or something. Well, we find out what Trevor McDonald can play. I don't worry about that. Oh. Trust Wacken if it's a truck in the rain. We're thinking the rain, we're thinking the rain. Exactly behind the curtain. So there's no doubt being able to play the instrument.
Starting point is 00:47:43 There's gonna be a series of curtains. So you're not behind the curtain, there's another be a series of curtains. So you'll be hiding the curtains if I have another dummy, John. Behind that curtain, Phil Collins. That God for the call. Idris Albron Sacks. Elbron the Sacks. Elbron the Sacks.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Elbron the Sacks. Big solo, Blazers out, camera pans down to an empty chair in loving memory of John McCluskey. Black and white. And then we see a dog in a cat walking away towards a map of Clarky's face. Blackout, number one, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Starting point is 00:48:14 How's Beauty? What would you say to Roman? How's Beauty? Probably nothing at all. Well, there we go. Another classic episode. Will we record the song? Clark knows the lion's share of that word could fall to him So he's nipping it in the bud
Starting point is 00:48:35 But if you'd like to record your version of it's loving cats and dogs. Oh my god. That's a great idea I love to hear so low. Could we give him a could a Clark at least sound like you mean him. Clarky is... Clarky is a wonderful one. I'd love to hear some of those. Oh my, f**k it, god. I'm gonna run down at the moment, but...
Starting point is 00:48:52 That was genuinely... You've got... I'd love that. You've got a very festive cold, at the moment. I do, yeah. A festive cold. I like that. A festive cold around Christmas time.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Is it a great time? I just feel festive around that time. Well, if you would like to send us your version of the song, that's not a bad idea. Or, and definitely, I'll give the book a review. Definitely suggestions for lyrics as well. Oh, yeah, little suggestions of lyrics. If you want to send suggestions of lyrics,
Starting point is 00:49:17 you can send them to appies tweet on Twitter or find us on Facebook. I will meld them together. I will meld them together and create the complete song. Or, if you want to record the whole song, I mean, why not go for it? And send it to papysflatshare.gmail.com. Send us an email and we'll put our favourite ones up on the twisters for people to listen to. Why not? I tell you why not, because if it's quite good, we're having
Starting point is 00:49:45 that. We have the rights to it. So the next year, we whack it out. Whoever sends it to us, we squeeze them out of the process. Yes. I feel like we should have had this conversation off like. Yes, problems. Well, listen, Adir, thank you for all. You know what, you've given yourself a real Christmas cheer. That's absolutely clouted money against the Court of the Table. Well, have a wonderful Christmas. And try and, you know, try and be safe, try and be happy. Love to you, love to yours.
Starting point is 00:50:21 God bless us, everyone. God bless us, every John. Look bless us, everyone. God bless us, every John. Look at us, Guy. This episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Undedicated to the memory of John McClusky. Cheers everyone, bye. Please, for God's sake.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Jesus, come on. Be upstanding and show some fucking respect. Show some respect for God's sake. For the Patreon, they be fucking hoodwashed. It's only the fucking roll! Oh, cool! Oh, jeewood tea. Oh Well Well, well, well listen, can we all hear this as well as we can
Starting point is 00:51:17 He by gum Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no we go. Here it, here it, here it comes. Oh, no, yeah. Down, down, Cobalt Road. Down Cobalt Tired. Tired. Heavy, don't need look tired. Oh, red riding trilogy. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Nice. He's just put it a proper shift he has. Oh, yeah. What a guy at the mill. At mill. At mill. Hey, could you work at that mill? What? What does he say? Yes, we can. Oh, good lad. It's our boy Barry Donovan. Here we come. Come boy. Oh my God. He's a sheep dog. We've got a sheep dog wrong the mill. And one to the town to disarray.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Come on. Come on. No, no. Here he comes. No, no, no. This way, this way. I here he comes down to Ali over the roofs of Teri's town. He got the roof.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Hopped at Jimmy. He me if I have small classy Let it you did the sheep It was no It would kill It's down to the sheep dog Sashy dog Get down, get down, boy Get down, boy
Starting point is 00:52:35 Who you? Over the wall And far away Up the hill It would heal down the dail Oh, don't do that that's not fair he's a naughty boy it's Nathan Claire he's a naughty boy he's a naughty boy
Starting point is 00:53:00 mother mother come quick Mother mother Mother Come quick Mother the dog me hatch your mother. Oh, sorry mother the dog mother the dog you can rest Rest easy. In fact no mother the dog you come to come come come back come back come back mother the dog Oh mother. Oh no. Oh Oh what are they? What are the children? He's fallen down the well. Oh Three for a minute ago! Oh god, what is down well?
Starting point is 00:53:26 What? What is down well? What is down well? It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end.
Starting point is 00:53:34 It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end.
Starting point is 00:53:42 It's not going to end well. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not deep. Oh, it's too deep. Oh, the rope snapped. Oh, we need someone to lend a hand. We need Alison Alexander. Come on, come on. Come on, come on.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Mother the dog, no, please. Oh, the dog's, mother the dog is attacked our dad. Come on. No please I Oh, fuck you, oh, fuck you, oh, fuck you. Oh, fuck you, oh, fuck you. Get off the roof, fuck you. Get out of that. Stop singing a get off everything. Come back. Oh, no, no, no. Who put quiet on roof? Colory man.
Starting point is 00:54:33 You can't put Colory man on roof. Oh, come back. Oh. Oh. Mother the dog's dead. Wait, it's Mother the dog dead. He's telling Mother the dog's dead. Quake, it's mother the dog dead. Are you telling mother the dog's dead? Both.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Oh, God. Mother the dog's dead. Mother, mother, mother. Mother, mother. Oh, she's so upset. She's so upset. Oh, God. But, oh, you worry.
Starting point is 00:55:04 She'll be fine. Oh, she yes of course Because it's Danielle divine divine Come by Tellable news no god. Oh, it's mother of the dog Yeah, she was like a woman to me someone's paper on roof It's mother of the dog. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no when she was old. Dream about. Yeah. A bar when she was old. She should hold it. She should hold it.
Starting point is 00:55:48 She should hold the tail to her best friend. Ben Arnold. Oh, God. He didn't know where to look. He didn't know what to do with his cut-bye. Come by Ben Arnold. Oh, come by. Come by.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Come by. Come by. Come by. Come by. Oh, no. Mills broken. Oh come by come by come by come by Come by oh no Mills broken Mills broken oh that sheep dog sheep dog sheep dog Mills broken Mills broken the sheep dog the sheep mill mills Broken the sheep dog Mills broken the sheep dog is is in fine fetters Very confused Come by come, come on, come on. Come on, come on.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Come on, come on. He's got a hook. He's got a hook. He's got a hook. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on. Come on. Let me tell you now. Let me tell you now. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come, come back, come back. Listen guys, the dog's ill.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Oh, no. You're not gonna believe it, mother of the dog's come back to life. Oh, I'm now she's ill. Come back, go away. I'm afraid. One of us is gonna have to take all the dogs and shoot them. Shoot them, but it's not gonna be me.
Starting point is 00:57:20 It's not gonna be me. It's not gonna be me. It's not gonna be me, I. It's gonna have to be, we'll be looting. We'll fucking looting. We'll fucking looting. It'll work, it'll work. It's not gonna be me. It's not gonna be me. It's gonna have to be. No. We'll not. We'll fucking noten. We'll fucking noten. It'll work in you.
Starting point is 00:57:29 It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you.
Starting point is 00:57:37 It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. Never. Hoot. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Read and pack and not fall. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.

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