Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Snowing Cats and Dogs) S9E37
Episode Date: December 10, 2019Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. Charity singles, that's where the big money is... right? This episode is dedicated to legendary Weatherman John McCluskeyPappy’s - ...;https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee us live 3rd February - https://dice.fm/event/k8vao-pappys-flatshare-slamdown-live-podcast-3rd-feb-moth-club-london-ticketsProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutford.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's like theaters December 15th.
Greetings, listener dear.
It's me, Tom!
It's me, Ben. And it's me, Tom. It's me, Ben.
And it's me, Matthew.
The triple crown.
The triple crown, yes.
The triple crown.
I like that.
I did.
I did.
Where's the triple crown?
Does the triple crown...
How many crowns?
Does the triple crown mean three crowns?
Or does it mean a triple pointed crown?
Oh, very good.
Points.
Or is it a sort of trippy point?
Thank you very much, three points to me.
Does it, is it a crown that sort of three crowns melded together
that you have to wear like we're in a row?
We have to wear it in a row with our arms round each other
and people wouldn't like it if we were walking down the street.
Like a three-legged race.
Listen, Adir, you decide.
You decide whether or not we're in a way. Let us know, are we going to melt the crown?
Do you melt the crown?
Do you melt the crown?
Yeah, we melt the crown.
Have you met a meldocron?
A meldocron?
She's a wonderful actress.
Anyway, listen to that Netflix series, isn't she?
This is exactly the kind of guff
that you can experience today
at one of our wonderful house meetings.
Got what Christmasy feel today?
Yes, a natural Christmas feel.
It's always nice to start feeling Christmas, isn't it, when it gets to December?
Yeah, you know what?
It's just how I feel.
Tom, you know what, that's a really, really good way of putting it.
And I've started to start feeling Christmasy around what, let's call it the Christmas season.
Why not?
It just seems like the right time to do it.
And listen a dear, if you're feeling Christmasassy, then why not leave us a review on our each.
Seemless work there from Patti.
Follow those five golden stars, please.
Follow the Triple Crown, give us five golden stars on iTunes.
Also as well, there'll be loads of Christmassy bonus content
on our Patreon.
So if you fancy during the Patreon,
it's patreon.com forward slash Patti's Flat Share. Yes. And if you'd like to send us an email, it's
Pappy's Flat Share at gmail.com. If any of the issues spoken about today have affected
you in some way. Absolutely. If you too have an obscure celebrity friend as we find out
you to have like a lot of those friends. My my my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, let's sit down and chew the flat. Has meeting, what temperature should we set the heat?
Has meeting, why on earth am I always waiting?
Has meeting, who went my bed while I was sleeping?
Has meeting, what's the point?
Does life have a meeting?
Has meeting, if you want to help, help children in need. a'r pwyng ddysol o'r mynd i'r ffodd. Mae'r pwyng ddysol o'r mynd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r ffodd i'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith barely know anyone doing children in need. Would you stay up for it? No, no, no, I think it's not a sign of getting old.
I think it's a sign of,
because old people will know if one of the children in need.
Because they'll be like BBC One.
It's fun to be in, it's fun to be in, cool.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, also, you know Tom Allen.
He did children in need, this, didn't he?
He did, you never bloody heard of him.
LAUGHTER
Well, we are the voice that is longing to speak.
Creepy.
Yeah.
I can't imagine.
I mean, it wasn't a classic, was it?
It wasn't.
Wasn't he all the world?
No.
No. I can't say that. What all the world? No. No.
I can't say that.
What are the ultimate...
The ultimate charity song?
It's his day.
It's his day.
Yeah, band-aid to the number one.
Band-aid to the Holy Grail.
So good, they did it four times, three times.
I think it has been four.
Too many, no. They've ruined it. Oh, yeah, it's a sign
you're getting old when you don't recognize. Should we pitch for is it worth us
thinking of a charity song that hasn't been done yet like I'm really knock it
out the park like an RSPCA classic or something. I mean, my clock is a singing dog.
Cross with the dog. I've played a dog.
I've played a dog on the telly.
And your cross with the dog.
And in the Papish show.
And in the Papish show.
And I'm cross with the dog.
And for your stature, we dress the opposite dog.
As a dog.
And yet Clark is a better singer.
So it's the same thing.
It's true.
No, you can really hold a tune, actually.
Well, but I think crucially, what we need is,
what we need is, and of course,
Paddle best.
Me playing the dog, Clarky singing in the rain style,
just behind the curtain, singing,
and I'm lip-sinking along.
I thought you were singing in the rain style dancing.
I did the dancing, but that's all.
No, no, you're singing behind the curtain, when I can see you. That bit of singing in the very style dancing. I did the dancing. No, no, you're singing behind the curtain.
I'll see that bit of singing in the rain not the bit where they they run at the wall because they've stayed up all night
Yeah, no one's nailed an RSPCA song, right? Well, it's interesting you say that because it does seem like
There are a lot more people now who are into animals over people. Yeah, furries.
If you're going to be doing...
No, no.
Don't put them in animals, that's the chorus.
You guys could be like...
Wait, I'm going to sit up.
I didn't say it off on this.
You guys could be singing animals.
I could come in at the three quarter mark
and do a backstabular style spoken word rap as a snake.
And this is going to nail it.
Snakes have it hard to as well.
Be nice to the snakes.
Eh.
And then you guys carry that snake.
Eh.
Be nice to the snakes.
Yeah.
Or like, you know, like a Robbie Williams style spoken rap kind of, you had a bit of a spoken
rap to start.
You got a root boxer.
I'm coming.
I'm coming root boxes of hamster.
I would say that is a sign that you're getting old when you think that what's going to make
this song really, what's going to really take this song to the top of the charts is a Robbie
Williams style spoken word breakdown.
Yeah, and then we'll get a little mix in as cats.
Little mix in as cats. That's the only bit I can get behind.
In fact, maybe that's the main bit.
So, yeah, I think in fact, you're absolutely right.
First thing we should do in any project now is uncast ourselves.
Uncast ourselves.
Uncast ourselves. Uncats ourselves. Uncats ourselves. Yes. And so having having little mix as cats.
We get to make them nightmarish like the cats.
Well, this is it.
You don't, you don't do it. You bring it out around the same time as the trailer for the movie,
as the movie cats, right? Right. So you bring it out at the same time.
Yeah, but we can't think we think we steer clear of that car crash.
We do it right.
It's going to be in the zeit, guys.
People are going to be into that movie.
People are going to want to watch that movie.
So we do it right by we get a little mix to sing.
I was in the sax.
I played his little mix the other day.
And that's really, that was quite exciting it's quite, and it though, it's quite exciting.
Fingers crossed it was a little chef.
Little chef. Little mix.
No, it was like...
No, I had a mixed girl. Only a small one.
It was quite exciting. You know, if I was in the cafe with one of Little Mix, I would have been,
I would probably would have known, but like, seeing them as a unit, that's quite exciting.
That's how Event Diagram works, isn't it? If you think you saw, so it's like,
a little mix of a little, yeah, but like, if you thought, if I saw just one of Little Mix,
maybe if I saw Jesse from Little Mix, I would recognize her.
Yeah, but if I, I couldn't Mix, I would recognise her. Yeah.
But if I couldn't name any of the other ones.
No.
But if I saw, you're right, if you saw a few of them, the fact you saw them together.
Or, yeah, the full, the full gamut.
The full gamut.
And what were they doing in the cat?
I like seeing puppies and that.
Absolutely.
You might see one of us and think, is that?
Could it be?
Is that a dog?
Is that a dog?
Has someone left that dog on the chain? That's why they're shocked. Is that could it be that guy plays a dark? Is that a dog? Someone left that dog on chain. That's why the shop. Is that a dog?
I know it's Christ that close because you get into the car to be shopping.
Has anyone ever come up to you with a ball of water and said there you go?
Oh all the time.
All the time. I love it.
I'm really hydrated now. I'll absolutely.
After you.
So, so yeah, so it's about to catch and dog's home.
Lovely.
Everybody supports that, right?
We get...
We get a time of year to kind of tie it to, maybe Christmas.
Maybe.
Dogs not for life, that's the bent of the song, isn't it?
A dog is for life, don't...
I think the bent of the song should be a dog is for life.
Oh, hi, hi, hi, hi, Christmas Oh, I don't get yourself a Christmas dog
Just a Christmas dog
I'll just be here for a week. I will make your festival. It's hard to write lyrics. Can I?
Can I ask a few questions though? What's the snake doing?
Well, it's new years after you've snake. It's an old boxing day snake.
Snake, seven. Oh, two guys.
The Admin Hadda.
Hi, it's me, the Admin Tadda.
Do not put me near a ladder, Ru-Box.
You throw the Ru-Box in.
You throw the Ru-Box in.
I've listened to Ru-Box for a while.
Wacken, for a while.
The Admin.
Yeah, the Adra Advin calendar.
And it's about responsible petting a Christmas.
There could be, listen, when was the last great charity
Christmas number one, bandaid?
There's a real gap in the market.
And I also think if we go,
it's a cover the market for charity.
If we exploit our connections,
we could get some selection.
Oh, now we're seeing in, what?
Sign the longs.
Yeah, that's a great question.
Well, just as we were going into the office,
Claudia Winkleman was coming in as well at the same time.
I passed Winkleman.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, did you?
Yeah, yeah, that's...
We were the same building.
We were the same building, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was about to say an anecdote,
I realised you were telling me that anecdote.
I was with the Archim couldn't believe you missed that.
Yeah, but you got to keep it.
Did you say it?
No.
Yeah, she had a little game of they were going in for a meeting.
But we could, well, sure, we could pop into the end of the meeting.
It must be so busy being win-comman.
You can't avoid that.
No, no, that's it.
It must be so busy.
That's why there was a big silence. After everyone was one of it. You must be so busy. That's why there was a big silence.
After everyone was one of these.
It must be so busy having an actual career.
So the silence.
Okay, so what animal is when coming in and being in the
other local cat?
She's holding on.
Positively feeling.
We need to mix it up on the animals.
We need to get some people to play dogs, right?
Okay, if you've got, if you've got,
you've got, no, no, no.
But it just cats and dogs.
Yeah, I think that's a cat and dogs.
I think we're really getting the Matthew to be behind the curtain with me.
I think I'm, yeah, do you know what, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm catting myself on this.
We'll get some celebrity cats and dogs.
Your self-dress as a dog mate.
We're gonna be like, we dress a dog to, you know, to come directly.
Oh, yeah, it's a pretty weekend, isn't it?
So lately, why not?
So we're gonna be like, old, is it mid-Jewel? Mid-Jewel was, he wrote, he wrote, pretty weekend, isn't it? So lately, why not? So we're gonna be like, is it mid-Jewel?
Mid-Jewel was, he wrote Band-Aid, yeah.
But he's not in the video.
Well, he, oh, sorry.
Yeah.
He's in the video and he sings on Band-Aid,
so I think it's a bad example.
Oh, we're not gonna be mid-Jewel.
Sorry.
The opposite of mid-Jewel.
We're gonna be opposite of mid-Jewel,
whoever stood behind the camera, you'll never know.
But you know, mid-Jewel isn't the face of Band-Aid, is he?
It's Barlow and all that like, you know.
He's like, he's pulling the strings.
I think we should feature in,
I want us to be around in a bow,
because it's like, this is our big chance.
Well, I was gonna suggest,
I was gonna suggest that the Harry Bikers play two dogs.
Oh, that's really nice idea.
So the Harry Bikers, their dogs, little mix and
Claudia Winklemann, a cat. I'm a snake. You're a snake. Now the snake.
On the root box snake. I still feel like the root box snake for me is the
sticking point. Oh, I got one. I don't want to, I hate.
The name of the collective. I hate to be a nice thing. Christmas dogs by the root box snake.
This is not a bad idea, is it?
That a great idea.
OK.
Sorry for the coffin, but I like that.
No, that's all right.
Don't worry about it.
What if Will Young's in the mix?
Will Young?
There's a gerbil.
I just think, I think what we need is a capsule.
Yeah.
You think it's a cat's and dogs kind of start.
It's the cat's, your pets.
It's a bit of a medley of cats and dogs and it's kind of like that's the lead.
That's where you're going with it.
And it's a bit summer loving.
I got a great start though.
Okay.
What about this?
You get famous weather person, right?
Hard to think of them nowadays.
I know it's going to be big. There used to be, there was John Ketley. John Ketley's a weather person, right? Yeah. Hard to think of them nowadays. I know it's going to be big.
There used to be, there was John Ketley.
John Ketley's a weather.
There was Michael Fish, another one.
There was Orika Johnson, John McCluskey.
John McCluskey was he one?
Well, I'm going to throw him in there.
I can't say that he wasn't.
McCluskey was there.
McCluskey.
He's definitely the top five.
McCluskey was another top five.
Mitchell the strings and also being on the weather.
But what you'd have is you'd start it off
like a weather broadcast, right?
Standing in front of the map of Britain.
The weather.
The weather.
Sadly missed.
So you have them standing by the big map of Britain
and saying, across Britain in his raining
How the sick
Rubs rubs their eyes. Whoa
Cats and dogs
The
Crash of the ceiling
The glass ceiling splatter on the floor
Little mix burst through the glass ceiling. No, of course they do
You know they're just do it themselves.
Hang on, is that the song?
No, no, no, no.
It's not raining men.
You see me towards raining men in a minute.
No, no, no, no.
It is.
What did you say to someone?
I was trying to think,
to think what I thought was the start of raining men,
but I think it was tragedy.
It's got the same sort of pain.
Yeah, there you go.
It's got big connection. I think we wanted, there you go. It's got a big collection.
I think we wanted to be a bit more summer loving kind of.
And it's a Christmas song.
It's a Christmas song, so it's not about summer,
but it's in the style of cats and dogs
singing against each other.
Oh, like Rundin and C versus Eris.
Yeah.
So that's for some of loving vibe.
It's like pink late, but here's the thing,
and I wanna make sure, I wanna cover ourselves.
Okay.
So far, all the guys are dogs and all the girls are cats.
Right, that doesn't have to be that way.
It's a little bit gendered, it's a little bit heteronormative.
Let's mix it up a bit.
Let's mix it up a little bit.
Yeah, of course.
Okay, let's think of. Who's to be, you know, who is a man who could also play a cat?
Styles. Harry Styles. Harry Styles would be a great cat.
Good call. That's a real big name for us as well.
Very, very big. Too big. I'm going to throw this out there.
Phil Tuffinal. Okay, I like where you're going because...
He's an alley cat. You're bringing radio to into the mix.
Aren't you?
And I think that's going to be good for our sales.
Tuffers, yeah, absolutely.
What about Storms, he has a dog.
Storms, he has a dog.
If Storms, he were a dog, yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Sure.
Clarky.
Clarky.
We've got to lose that.
Clarky's quite losing faith in the project.
That's how it feels.
I just, I'm not sure the line up is, is strong enough?
We've got Stormsy. We've got Little Mix. We've got Tuffers.
Yeah. We've got John McCaskill. We've got John McCaskill.
What's a name?
John McCloskey.
John McCloskey.
John McCloskey's involved.
He's a John McCloskey.
Can you Google if John McCloskey is a live or dead or ever existed?
He's John McCloskey, crucially.
Okay, guys.
Choding as weather, man.
We're going to pause.
We're going to pause this episode of House Meeting for just a second to play our favorite game.
Alive, dead, never existed.
So you're joining us now.
It's a very exciting game.
We've got John McCluskey
is in place. John McCluskey's in the mix. I'm gonna say alive
existed. A live existed. It might not be his name. And Clark is gonna go for dead
but never existed. Always. And you're gonna head your best with. You said it's
John McCluskey's a lot of different. I'm going live and never existed. Clark is going dead, never existed.
You're gonna go alive existed. Okay, producer Emma, would you tell us please, if John McCluskey?
Will you leave?
Is John McCluskey alive or whether man and did he exist?
Well, I searched John McCluskey and it
came up with a boxer.
And then now I've tried John McCluskey with a man.
And that's not giving me any.
Is it Ian Magaske you're thinking of?
OK, John McCluskey.
So he...
There's only one John McCluskey.
Somebody's name and they probably were alive,
but I can't find a weatherman called John McCluskey.
Oh, take it.
I live never existed.
I'm afraid it's going to be a live.
I take it.
A live never existed.
Yeah.
So I mean, that's it.
You take your chance.
I mean, we actually live.
Okay.
You roll the dice.
Let's do one more round.
Clarky.
Give us a name.
Give us a profession.
We'll work out.
A live, slash dead, slash never existed.
This is a strong game.
This is how we play okay
Could I can I hedge moa? Can I go with like?
You go for a garden Tim Smith footballer. Oh
That's actually a good that's a good way to play. It's a smart way to play. Thanks mate. I'm gonna go for
Dead never existed
Both never existed. Yeah. Both never existed, I'm dead. Absolutely.
I am the worst combo.
Tim Smith footballer, I'm gonna go for a live existed.
Ah.
That would be a real, that was a great shot kid, one in a million.
And the Star Wars moment.
Is that the Star Wars?
That's right, isn't it? That was a great shot kid, one in a million. Is that the Star Wars? That's right, isn't it?
That was a great shot kid, one in a million.
Is that the line?
I don't know.
Did that line exist?
Did it exist?
Hold it for the nebrixist.
We've got round three.
OK, if we start fact checking this podcast, we'll never finish.
We'll never finish.
But let's just wrap this game up very quickly.
Tim Smith, producer, I'm a Tim Smith,
was he a footballer?
Or was he, in fact, was he a footballer
crucially easy alive?
So there is a Tim Smith.
Alive.
Oh, it's good start.
I can't get alive.
There are Tim Smiths out there.
There is one who is an Australian footballer.
There we go.
Back in.
That's what I meant.
It is a different kind of game.
Oh, Aussie rules. Tim again. That's what I meant. It is different kind of guys. Aussie rules.
Teme Smith.
Sorry what?
Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim.
Okay.
Tim, Tim, Tim.
Okay.
Tim, Tim, Tim.
Guys, that was over.
We're going to pause this round of Alive Slashdeads.
Slashdeads never existed to play.
How good is your Aussie accent?
Okay.
You've got to say Smith.
Oh, I know.
It's Teme Smith. You've got to say Teme Smith. My name is Tim Smith. I'm an Aussie rules football.
I go, Paris, begin.
My name's Tim Smith and I'm an Aussie rules football, mate.
I tell you what, I don't know.
He was lulling us into a false sense of security and I'm
touching quite good.
There were some good moments in there.
There were some highlights.
A few cinnables really took me back to Queensland. I'm going to go on a great slander. My name's Tim Smith, and I'm an Australian footballer.
I got a little bit lost.
Do you know what? I don't know what my professionalism is.
That is actually a vocal tick that some Australians have
of ending it like a question.
I'm going to go on a great slander.
I'm going to go on a great slander.
My name's Tim Smith, and I'm an Australian footballer.
Well, I got a little bit lost.
Do you know what? I don't know what my
professionalist is. That is actually a vocal tick that some Australians have of
ending it like a question. Oh yeah always. So that's that's not bad okay. Here we go.
Here we go. Monheim's Tim Smith, an almond Aussie rules footballer. It's nice. It's nice.
Producers should. Out of those three, what's your reckon? I think you got it.
Congratulations, Clarky, well done.
Of course, must be, crossbees, voice from behind the curtain.
That's right, you must be behind the curtain.
Now I'll tie him.
Wait for you.
Alright, back to the episode.
Good ball, Venetian.
Which episode?
Yeah.
Where are we now?
Oh, wait, no, don't house me.
You've been sectioned ourselves. I hope you're going to like it. Um, which, wait, wait, which episode? Yeah. Where are we now?
Oh, wait, no, don't house me.
You've inception that house.
I'm going to drop backwards into this bath of water by me and come back to the way.
Basically, the bad news is for our charity single right, we haven't been able to secure
John McCluskey's services.
Ah, that's so.
On the fact that he doesn't exist, okay?
So, so that's where we're at. But, so there is a hole in the liner.
The only reason,
what did he call up was on board
was because he told the job of Krasky was gonna do.
We've got real trouble now.
We've got to invent a John McClash.
Would it be poignant if we empty-chared him?
And you're poignant.
So during the song, it'd be like dedicated to John McClash.
Like, in that moment, it's like,
there's just a microphone
and empty chair and we put on the sort of...
McCluskey.
We know.
Zero dash to zero.
Never existed.
Sadly, never existed.
Oh my God.
Imagine having gone your...
Imagine when you're a tombstone.
Never existed.
I like that so much.
Oh, do you know what Jack Lemmon has on his tombstone? No, what?
Starring Jack Lemmon.
Really good.
So cool, right?
Yeah, it's very, very good.
That's very nice.
Yeah.
So having never existed on your tombstone,
that's going to confuse a few people
having a lovely stroll through the graveyard
on a summer's day.
I find those people odd.
What?
The ones who go for a stroll in the graveyard.
Well, I go through a stroll.
I live there for a graveyard.
Yeah.
Do you find, you're funny quite mordling.
Well, it's, it's...
I quite like graveyards.
Yeah.
What's your, what's the appeal?
Very beautiful.
Yeah.
They, er...
It's just, it's interesting to think about other people's lives, isn't it?
It's interesting to sort of place yourself, you know, it places you in time and you don't
like life is very short, perspective, bit of perspective, like everyone is effectively
life short, I'm going to get out this graveyard.
No, no, it's time.
No, I think it makes you realize what a precious gift life is
and what a great leveler death is.
You all end up saying, well, it doesn't matter what,
so it's about filling your life with good things.
We come from the think, exactly.
We return to think.
We return to nothing.
Or we return to a very rare grave.
That's true, I mean, but then I think there's something
of the, there's something of the,
Aussie Mandius about that, isn't there? You know, where, like if you see the people with the
players in the cup for a thotting hem, we could get him in.
Oh, that's it, we could go Aussie in.
Get Aussie in.
There's a little terrier.
Oh, yeah.
Aussie isis a terrier.
Aussie isis a terrier, it's an offset-filled tuftinal.
Can I just very quickly?
It's a cat.
Tuftinal's nicknames the cat, isn't it?
Is it?
Is it?
I think that must be what have happened.
That must be what have happened.
Somewhere deep in the recess of my brain.
Is it known as the caxi likes to sleep?
So.
It likes a kip.
It likes a kip, yeah.
In front of the fire?
It is in the changing rooms used to kip.
It does, yeah.
It likes a smoke, likes a kip. What doesn't. Like to smoke, like to keep.
What a life.
What a guy, doesn't spend a lot of time in Graveyard.
No, exactly.
He didn't spend a lot of time.
It feels like a, you know, well I'll tell you this.
He never spent much time in Graveyard.
And now he's spending all his time in Graveyard.
That would be a good.
I tell you what, he hated Graveyard.
He's going to fuck you, ain't this? But yeah, and I think when you see the people
with the big graves and they're all run down,
you go, you can build a big grave,
you're only prolonged in the inevitable.
Mine's gonna have a pair of cup tans coming out
of the grave of the sea stone.
And you're gonna be embalmed and just resting in state
in those cup tans, like Lenin's, like Lenin's, uh, cadaver.
My wife isn't religious, but she's expressly desired.
She wants an open casket, coffee, types of, for a few knowle, and I'm really, I'm not sure
on what I'm like.
She's quite a bit about it.
Do that.
Yeah, you could still do open casket, yeah.
I don't, I think you can do it if you want, eh?
No, it's, if my mind, it's always like a little American thing.
Well, I think you've only ever seen it in my film.
I think what actually happened is like,
because a bit of backstory, my grandmother passed away
recently, and my parents went to visit her in the Chapel
of Rest.
They got to see her for the last time.
I think that's why they do it.
Rather than having OpenCarsk it funeral,
you can go and visit the body in the Chapel of rest, they got to see her for the last time. I think that's where they do it. Rather than having open casket funeral, you can go and visit the body in the chapel of rest
and then it's a close casket cremation.
Famously for my clusky funeral.
An empty coffin.
Empty coffin.
A empty coffin.
Oh, but a packed church.
Oh, for a man who never existed.
For a clusky.
What an impact.
Absolutely right.
I know.
I mean, huge.
Can I just say, yes, the cats I like, the dogs I like, but isn't it, isn't Maclaski who
should be right? Should we write song for Maclaski?
A song for Maclaski? But with Macfly?
We could get, we could get to the tune of American Pie.
We could get the band Maclaski today.
Dream of the band Maclaski? No.
They had a brilliant album called Maclaski Dude Alice.
They did that song, um, uh,
Lightsaber, Cocksuck and Blues,
You'll know it if you hear it.
In fact, in fact,
It's played. It was like...
It was like...
Or a part of Crosby's favorite dreams.
Can we drop in 15 seconds of Lightsaber,
Cocksuck and Blues into this?
Is 15 seconds allowed?
10 seconds for review purposes.
I'm coming my eyes when she told me the news,
turning me on with my lightsaber,
cock sucking, baby, hold it, hold me, hold me, hold me,
hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me,
hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me,
hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, of my faith found to see life. I don't want to. No longer. No longer with us. Past the way I know. Yeah.
I'm afraid so. I'm just a bit concerned now.
Oh no.
Yeah. I'm just thinking if we have a charity signal to raise money for the family of a man
who has never existed, I'll be...
Are we breaking the law? Yeah, I mean, it feels like we start with very pure intentions
and now it's become a scam. I don't know if we start with pure intentions because our main thing was like,
it wasn't about the charity, it was about the fact that we wanted to do a thing called...
A Christmas number one.
I think for the animals.
I think the problem is, we want to release a song we're thinking,
if we just release a song, you know, we're incredibly talented musical performers.
The dogs of John McCluskey.
But the dogs of John McClusky.
That sounds like a valid...
It sounds like an old Irish folk ballad, yeah.
People like that at Christmas.
Bit of pan pipes.
It's true, actually.
It's not a bad time for pan pipes.
It's good, famously.
It's a good time for pan pipes.
Famously a good time for pan pipes, the Christmas season.
So I think the problem is,
if we don't release it for charity reasons,
it's not gonna get the coverage we need.. If we don't get tough and all involved, if we don't get
weak, weak, and weak. Tough as is already on board. That's that big thing,
though. Tough as is yeah. So I think what we do is we, we, we, this is, I've found the
tasteful way to do it. At the very end. I know you would. I mean, of course, you know,
it's just a matter of time, isn't it? This is to raise money for, we know, for dogs and cats and RSPCA and that's a dog's home
and animal charities.
All of them.
Yeah, yeah.
But at the end, raise the concept of animals.
At the end, a very tasteful title card that just comes up and says, dedicated to the
memory of John McCluskey and we tip our hat.
That's, that I think is not it.
And is there going to be a black and white photograph? And if so, who's it going to be of? and we tip our hat. That I think is not.
Is there going to be a black and white photograph?
And if so, who's it going to be on?
Or are we going to have to do a sort of portmanteur
of our three faces?
That's going to serve you.
In fact, that's what we'll do.
We'll get a Photoshop.
So it's basically like a version of our three faces
melded together.
The kind of key aspects of our three faces.
I think there could be a way of doing it way.
Do I have a key aspect of my face?
Of course you do.
I felt like you two have got distinctive features
and I'm just like a guy.
You're a big fucking mouse.
Yeah, you're a big slopping gob.
Or you're a big fucking gob.
You're not that fucking big bit of a fucker face.
I don't know if I chid particularly big.
No, it's just this kind of big area here, that's just a sort of rank or pick going on there.
Just a real shit.
And I was slobbering, all that fucking stater than you know.
And actually the nose is nothing to write over there.
Oh, no, no, no, that's fucking it. It, I can't know. No, exactly that's it. I'm in his rock over there.
Yeah, exactly that's right. You did a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good piece of shit actually. What's going on? I didn't know what a bit Lord of the Fly is there.
We really tend on you fucking.
Can we get this piece of Deliverton or Meet?
I'll be dead.
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to freedom at in Lutford.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that. Poor things.
It's like theaters, December 15th.
A cast powers the world's best podcast.
Here's a show that we recommend.
Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history, a
bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome and wonderful world of Canadian
history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian
partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight
seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure.
Check out new episodes
of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. e-cast.com What about if we just have this is take again very tasteful in memory of John McCluskey and then it's the picture of a figure turning towards a weather map
So you don't see in his face. You just know
Outlying in front of the weather map lovely I
Tasteful can I just say can I just say the John McCluskey weatherman thing?
Lovely. I tasteful. Can I just say the John McCluskey weatherman thing?
The problem with that is there are problems. It's the weatherman aspect that made me realize that he made us realize he never existed
Right, okay, so maybe we play down the weatherman
Okay, so it's dead. So it's not a weather map. It's just a man turning to look at a map
You know you fucked out the weather bit? Sure.
No, no, those little clouds are.
OK, little s-
It's a man turning to look at a map of clockies fucking fake.
Well, look at it.
He's a man, trying to make a picture of clocky.
But he's like, look at the fucking contours on that.
And then you'll have to release a statement saying,
look, I'm not John McCluskey.
That might be the real tragedy of your life if people actually think you're McCluskey.
If you've just been waiting for what is going to be the tragedy in my life, waiting for
McCluskey.
If you walk into like a shop and everybody turns around and goes, oh my god, he's back.
McCluskey.
He's back from never having existed in the first place.
Do you think then I could pursue a career
in being the weatherman, I'm too thin?
You, by the way, would make a great weatherman.
Do you think so?
Yeah, because you're facing like a relief map.
Yes.
I could do, you know, when they used to do like
on morning television where they had the big,
the big, with Fred the weatherman.
We were talking about earlier, yeah. You really need to concentrate more on our podcasts. Yeah, big... With Fred the weather, man. We were talking about earlier, yeah.
You really need to concentrate more on our podcasts.
Yeah, you know, Fred the weather man,
he had the big, he floating, the floating map
he would run on, he would be in running right.
He'd be pull over, and then it's...
Was that your face?
He turned out, unfortunately, to be a pedophile.
Oh no. Yeah.
So, I wouldn't take that job if I were you.
Not the telepenny of the moment.
If...
Pitying satire. If my clfft! Piting satire.
If my clusky was spotted back from having not existed.
Yeah.
Would he be the first person to have doing accused of faking his own...
Life.
Life.
Yeah.
Like, it's not that he faked his own death.
He faked the fact that he never existed.
He's like the opposite of canoeing man.
Yeah.
He suddenly shows up hook canoe and they're like we never knew gone
We never can you you've gone
So would be unbelievable of Clarky if if Clarky
Fakes his death as
Clarky but fakes his life as
McCluskey, I mean the two for all I would say is if we do make a film about the life of John McCluskey,
you're in the mix to play him. You're in the little mix to play him. But it's not going
to be to do with our charity single. Oh really, you're worried it's going to bring too much
negative. I'm worried now. Yeah, I think we've got toppers. No, we've got toppers on board.
If he finds out about the McCluskey
Ruse he'll be really angry you know that honestly he'll fall straight asleep. He's a straight talker
is they toughest he plays with a straight back if win Cummins people find out about the McCluskey
Ruse we're in trubs. Yeah, should be little we don't a little mix don't need the bad press. No, okay?
So but McFly I mean that's the only positive to come out of this homo-clusky scenario.
What, we might get McFly in for the third verse.
And McClusky are not going to be involved at all.
The McClusky estate are reclining, they're reclining.
They're with Thomas.
They're with Thomas.
No, but I mean the band McClusky, we're not bringing them in, it's just too much negative press.
I think it's too much negative press.
OK, fair enough.
All right.
So I think instead what we're looking at is a first verse
that's cats and dogs sparring.
Second verse of cats and dogs get along.
The snake root box in smooth.
All right, how come?
How come this is still survived?
How is this still survived?
You root boxing the snake.
OK, well, if we get someone,
I mean, there might be an argument to get Robbie Williams in.
There might be, yeah.
It's a rude box.
I'd love to hear it.
Hahaha.
Why is Williams getting involved?
We've got some top celebs.
You're already Williams and his wife.
He isn't the experience to go an A-sense now?
No, I don't know.
He was on a...
He did that salt about parting like a Russian.
Oh, yeah, he did that song about parting like a Russian.
I wasn't glad it was it.
Absolute.
Treated.
Treated.
Well, each to their own.
Sure.
I mean, I enjoyed it.
Yes.
Yes.
But, well, anyway, some kind of Ru-Box interlude with a snake.
And then the final end is like a jam,
because they always end in a jam these things.
A jill was Holland's name.
Yeah, jam.
Where it's like loads of like,
and then that's where you just chuck your...
It's a minadjri.
You know, you just get everyone in,
and it's like, here's fucking McCartney.
The last six drummers.
Yeah, here's McCartney as a parrot.
You know, Chris Martin's a vol.
And it's like everyone's just popping up going,
the vols have it, good to add to.
Is it like Monster Mash?
LAUGHTER Vols were having fun.
The Miracats aren't just big on. Yes, yes, yes, here we go, now we're talking.
And then it's like, who's in town, get them in, you know, Sanita, the fucking,
someone more relevant. No, Sanita's good.
Sanita's still, yeah, there you go.
Whoever wins Pop Oil this year, they all just crop up,
they'll sing a line off we go.
I think this is good.
It's not bad.
What's the title though?
We haven't got a title for the song.
And it's because the thing is, do we want to lure people in
with the idea of it being all animals,
or do you want to surprise them with the final verse?
Do you want to start it with like, you know,
do you want to call it simply
cats and dogs? Maybe cats and dogs. Make hookballs involved. He's a little ginger-tongue.
Oh, Hucknaw has a big cat. Have you heard simply read new single? No. It is superb.
Are we turning into a review podcast? Because for review purposes, can we play ten seconds on it?
Can we play, it's called Ring That Bell.
Okay, this is what I like.
We're going to play ten seconds of it, and then Clark, he's going to review it, but he's
never listened to it.
Yeah, we're not going to play it now.
And then we'll listen in hindsight and see if it matches up.
Here we are with Simpley.
Ten seconds of Ring That Bell that bell by Simply Red. Ring that bell. Why don't you ring it well?
There's some bad men,
Bessons for the future.
Let's give them hell.
Wow.
Yeah?
It's a strong flavour.
LAUGHTER
This is good.
Hey, this is a really good idea for a podcast. This is like Lammo's roundtable. We play
10 seconds to the list now. Clarky hasn't heard anything and he reviews it and we just
see it. It's a strong flavour. What do you think is so strong about the flavour?
Well, the instrumentation, first of all, is... Well, it doesn't sound like simply red.
Interesting.
You know?
I mean, obviously, his distinctive voice.
I thought you were going to...
I thought you were going to Tim Smith this, but you're not.
You're actually picking a side.
I'm very impressed.
And it's cool.
So enjoyed his...
...rude box style.
It's all graphic. Glocky. Glocky, you've got... Glocky, get out. I also enjoyed his, uh, rude box style.
It's all crappy.
Glocky, Glocky.
You've got to get out.
Get out, we'll get out.
Get closer to Tim Smith.
Tim Smith again.
So the song for the list I want to have heard this already,
but the song for you guys, it's, um,
it's about, it's sort of like a protest song.
Oh, right.
Still funky.
Still groove.
Is it a Christmas song?
No. It's called Ring the Bell. It's called Ring that Bell. Ring funky, still groove. Is it a Christmas song? No. It's called
Ring the Bell. It's called Ring that Bell. Ring that or ring those bell. He's releasing
it in November, it's called Ring that Bell. It's not Christmas. No, it's too funky to be
Christmas. What rules a mug? Well, here's the thing. You think he's a mug. It's got the
lyric, right? So it's it's all about these bad men missing with our future, right? Okay.
Which I can totally agree with. There are bad memories messing with our future.
You know, he's famously left leaning in his politics,
hence simply read.
That's the title.
His hair and his politics.
That's why he called it.
It's the call to ban simply read.
And his solution is we've got to ring that bell.
And he says you've got to play your ding dong strong.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Words to live by. Words to live by. Play your ding dong strong. Whoa, yeah. Words to live by.
Words to live by.
Play a ding dong strong.
Do we make a big doously?
He did play his ding dong strong.
A little too strong in the 90s, yeah.
With so many with with McCutchen, with Jenny Powell.
Hang on.
What?
Bloody hell.
We get hooked now.
He is a root into all of those names.
Absolutely. If you want Marty McCutchen on the same level,
it works. In fact, it could be a problem.
If we hire Hucknell, are we going to lose a lot of talent because they all know they can't be in the same room as they are.
I think it didn't McCutchen thrive in his hair and that's why he had to cut his dreadlocks off.
I love that.
What? What is all this?
This is all just news to me.
Do you not know much about Simply Red, man?
No, clearly not.
Which is crazy because I think,
Simply Red is the kind of band I would imagine you'd be into.
I need the guitarist.
Did you?
Facebook friends with the guitarist.
And he hasn't told you this story.
He hasn't told you about the man.
How good a friend is.
Well, he's holding out on you, man.
Not very. He's the
Teach My Brother bass guitar. What's amazing to me is that you're you're actually
kind of humble bragging. You're like you're really like I know the tone of your voice
and this is the tone you use when you're like actually really proud of something
you like. I think I'm impressive. Oh yeah, I know. I just find it.
Oh yeah, I know you do cry for me.
I know you do, I do.
I tell you what, this is all amazing to me.
I think I'm really enjoying this scene.
I think you're a fucking maker, right?
I'm really enjoying it.
The whole scene actually.
This is a classic, Papi's podcast thing,
going on right now.
Crucially, what I think we need to get to the bottom of is,
if we hire Hucknaut, is it to be a problem on the day of the record?
Right, Hucknell is going to be a boo.
Or is that going to be a boot?
That going to be the cat amongst the pigeons.
Or is it the case where, look, the 90s was a while ago.
You know, like there's a certain thing where it's like, well, look, we were all there
back then.
Statue of limitations.
I could call Jenny up now and she had loved to come down.
Yeah, yeah.
And then Powell's in the mix, my kitchen.
So is he actually going to be a benefit to the record?
I mean he is because we vote on it. You get that vocal on there. We vote on it. Okay. All right. Okay. I'm
Clark you we know ask first of all you sure he existed
I can't let's let's let's play. Is he alive? Is he dead? Is he simply read?
A live or simply read a A live dead, simply red.
Okay. It's not a bad game actually.
No, this is a bad game.
Oh, you're right.
This is a very bad game.
So, just try and be supportive.
You don't have to yes and everything, God says.
So, we vote.
Is Hurtnullin, Clarky? He pointed to me. No, we vote. He's hooked not in. Clarky.
You pointed to me. No, I know.
You pointed across the big Ted Clarky, which is a confusing thing.
I'm worried about Clarky's vote because Clarky's biased.
Are you trying to succession us? You're trying to sort of game the vote here.
Oh, I don't have, I can't see that ghost, no spoilers.
Right, no spoilers.
Basically, I've signed our company over into the hands of a guy called John McCluskey.
You signed it all right in Classkey
Right final vote for me. Huck was in. Huck was in Huck was a cat. No, I'm not playing
Okay, okay, but if it means we don't get Jenny Powell
That's on your hands. That's on your hands guys. Jenny Powell isn't there to play a Chihuahua, that's fine.
Okay, okay, I'm having that.
Well, let's look at the final line up then.
Okay. Okay, and make sure we're all happy with this.
Sure.
The song's called Cats and Dogs, right?
I feel like we could have done that with the dogs.
Who were you absolutely agree?
But it's called Cats and Dogs.
It's about pets at Christmas.
What about Dem Crazy Cats?
That's not fair.
And it's going to a zoot-suit riot feel to it.
Yeah, but what about the dogs?
What about Dem Crazy Cats, brackets, and Dem Dogs?
Guys, once again, I've got a tasteful suggestion.
Yeah.
It's knowing cats and dogs.
It's snowing cats and dogs.
It's not bad.
It's quite bad.
It might be bad. It's bad, but at the same time, I think it is the type of a dog. It's got a Christmas bent. It's snowing cats and dogs. It's got a Christmas
bent. It's snowing cats and dogs is growing on me by the second. Yeah. Well, as you know,
ideas of the new time. Right. So I've just said a thing. I guess what? I love it. It's snowing cats
and dogs, right? So the cats and the dogs, they're going to love it. It's snowing cats and dogs, right?
So the cats and the dogs, they're going to do it.
It's going to be a bit like some are loving,
a bit like Rundy MC and it roasts me.
Yeah.
The cat, but with tubular bells at the back of her head.
Yeah, absolutely.
Huck's Null is involved.
Claudia Wincomman, Phil Turfnull and Little Mix.
I feel like we're going to shot for the moon here.
Harry Styles was mentioned, but I'm not sure we're going to be able to get him.
The Harry bikers play two dogs.
No, the dogs.
We might be a bit light vocally on the dog film.
It's the Harry bikers, the only people carrying the dog first,
because we might have gone short.
Yeah.
Fuck me!
We've only got the hairy bikers.
Not fly, we've talked about McFly, but we've talked about McFly.
We've talked about McFly, but we didn't bring it in.
We didn't make the call.
Oh my God.
Right.
We've got real problems there.
We've got real problems.
We're going to have to get JLS on the blower or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh no, we've got Stormzy.
Stormzy, we've got Stormzy.
We've got Stormzy.
We've got Stormzy.
We've got...
That the hairy bikers. Actually, genuinely broken to have cold sweat then, thinking, Oh my God, we're recording. Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy Stormzy I can't see it there. I can't see it there, I can't see it. To Stormzies people know that that's the setup.
Well, we keep, we've told the Harry bikers, they're the cockers.
Oh, they're delighted.
They've actually got a set-prote sidecar.
First Stormzies to go in.
For the, yeah.
Stormzies not going to get in the sidecar.
Stormzies not going to get in the sidecar.
Stormzies happy in the sidecar.
Okay, great.
And then we've got the snake root box.
Robby Williams.
Williams?
Oh, he's got big box because of what is it?
I love that.
I mean, we've got Robbie Williams and Beardy Man together.
Tragically.
And then the fake eat itself.
And then the final verse, it is a jam of
Nick, Nore's exes.
Oh, it's not the jam though.
It's not Paul Weller.
Weller might have started with Nick, I don't know. Who? No, it's a jam of... Oh, so it's not the jam though, it's not Paul Weller. Weller might have slowed me, could not.
Who could?
You know, seems a different time.
He might have done.
Why not?
That might be what Shouts at the top's all about.
Weller is exactly the kind of guy I'd had in mind
to turn up in that final section and be like,
I'm all so a mama, it's all something.
All so a mama.
You know, like when all the anime was going to be well-a-martin,
you know, all the guys who like to turn up.
All the guys.
That's a lovely bit of business from Colocky.
Really good stuff.
You know, people who like to turn up and be like,
we're all jamming here.
And it goes a bit cool.
We don't even need to call Chris Martin.
Chris Martin will just be there.
Obviously, we know Martin is going to be there. the ultrasonic Martin will just be there obviously we know it's gonna be there
Uh
And then and then you know the stars will fly the other you know banana Rama show up of course
Oh my god, I'd love that uh the remaining members of Bucks Fizz
We might have to we might have to row it back from what's slightly older
We might be too radio one yeah I love this and I think finally also as well what you want is somebody playing an instrument
you're like I didn't realize they can you know like when you see on the stonk
Rowan Atkinson's playing the drums and you're like I didn't know as you could
play the drums what we need is somebody who you, I didn't realise they could play the drums.
So I reckon Trevor McDonald.
Trevor McDonald on the drums.
Well, Trevor McDonald on the keyboards or something.
Well, we find out what Trevor McDonald can play.
I don't worry about that.
Oh.
Trust Wacken if it's a truck in the rain.
We're thinking the rain, we're thinking the rain.
Exactly behind the curtain.
So there's no doubt being able to play the instrument.
There's gonna be a series of curtains.
So you're not behind the curtain, there's another be a series of curtains. So you'll be hiding the curtains
if I have another dummy, John.
Behind that curtain, Phil Collins.
That God for the call.
Idris Albron Sacks.
Elbron the Sacks.
Elbron the Sacks.
Elbron the Sacks.
Big solo, Blazers out, camera pans down
to an empty chair in loving memory of John McCluskey.
Black and white.
And then we see a dog in a cat walking away
towards a map of Clarky's face.
Blackout, number one, Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
How's Beauty?
What would you say to Roman?
How's Beauty?
Probably nothing at all.
Well, there we go. Another classic episode.
Will we record the song?
Clark knows the lion's share of that word could fall to him
So he's nipping it in the bud
But if you'd like to record your version of it's loving cats and dogs. Oh my god. That's a great idea
I love to hear so low. Could we give him a could a
Clark at least sound like you mean him.
Clarky is...
Clarky is a wonderful one.
I'd love to hear some of those.
Oh my, f**k it, god.
I'm gonna run down at the moment, but...
That was genuinely...
You've got...
I'd love that.
You've got a very festive cold, at the moment.
I do, yeah.
A festive cold.
I like that.
A festive cold around Christmas time.
Is it a great time?
I just feel festive around that time.
Well, if you would like to send us your version of the song,
that's not a bad idea.
Or, and definitely, I'll give the book a review.
Definitely suggestions for lyrics as well.
Oh, yeah, little suggestions of lyrics.
If you want to send suggestions of lyrics,
you can send them to appies tweet on Twitter or find us on Facebook.
I will meld them together.
I will meld them together and create the complete song.
Or, if you want to record the whole song, I mean, why not go for it?
And send it to papysflatshare.gmail.com.
Send us an email and we'll put our favourite ones up on the twisters for people to listen to.
Why not?
I tell you why not, because if it's quite good, we're having
that. We have the rights to it. So the next year, we whack it out. Whoever sends it to us,
we squeeze them out of the process. Yes. I feel like we should have had this conversation
off like. Yes, problems. Well, listen, Adir, thank you for all. You know what, you've given
yourself a real Christmas cheer. That's absolutely clouted money against the Court of the Table.
Well, have a wonderful Christmas.
And try and, you know, try and be safe,
try and be happy.
Love to you, love to yours.
God bless us, everyone.
God bless us, every John. Look bless us, everyone. God bless us, every John.
Look at us, Guy.
This episode was produced by Emma Corsham.
Corsham team.
Undedicated to the memory of John McClusky.
Cheers everyone, bye.
Please, for God's sake.
Jesus, come on.
Be upstanding and show some fucking respect.
Show some respect for God's sake.
For the Patreon, they be fucking hoodwashed.
It's only the fucking roll!
Oh, cool!
Oh, jeewood tea. Oh
Well Well, well, well listen, can we all hear this as well as we can
He by gum Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no we go. Here it, here it, here it comes.
Oh, no, yeah.
Down, down, Cobalt Road.
Down Cobalt Tired.
Tired.
Heavy, don't need look tired.
Oh, red riding trilogy.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
He's just put it a proper shift he has.
Oh, yeah.
What a guy at the mill.
At mill. At mill. Hey, could you work at that mill? What? What does he say? Yes, we can. Oh, good lad.
It's our boy Barry Donovan. Here we come. Come boy. Oh my God. He's a sheep dog.
We've got a sheep dog wrong the mill.
And one to the town to disarray.
Come on.
Come on.
No, no.
Here he comes.
No, no, no.
This way, this way.
I here he comes down to Ali over the roofs of Teri's town.
He got the roof.
Hopped at Jimmy. He me if I have small classy
Let it you did the sheep
It was no
It would kill
It's down to the sheep dog
Sashy dog
Get down, get down, boy
Get down, boy
Who you?
Over the wall
And far away
Up the hill
It would heal down the dail
Oh, don't do that that's not fair
he's a naughty boy it's Nathan Claire
he's a naughty boy he's a naughty boy
mother mother
come quick Mother mother Mother Come quick
Mother the dog me hatch your mother. Oh, sorry mother the dog mother the dog you can rest
Rest easy. In fact no mother the dog you come to come come come back come back come back mother the dog
Oh mother. Oh no. Oh
Oh what are they? What are the children? He's fallen down the well. Oh
Three for a minute ago!
Oh god, what is down well?
What?
What is down well?
What is down well?
It's not going to end well.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end well.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end.
It's not going to end well.
It's not going to end well.
It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end well. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not going to end. It's not deep. Oh, it's too deep.
Oh, the rope snapped.
Oh, we need someone to lend a hand.
We need Alison Alexander.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Mother the dog, no, please.
Oh, the dog's, mother the dog is attacked our dad. Come on. No please
I Oh, fuck you, oh, fuck you, oh, fuck you. Oh, fuck you, oh, fuck you. Get off the roof, fuck you. Get out of that.
Stop singing a get off everything.
Come back.
Oh, no, no, no.
Who put quiet on roof?
Colory man.
You can't put Colory man on roof.
Oh, come back.
Oh.
Oh.
Mother the dog's dead. Wait, it's Mother the dog dead. He's telling Mother the dog's dead.
Quake, it's mother the dog dead.
Are you telling mother the dog's dead?
Both.
Oh, God.
Mother the dog's dead.
Mother, mother, mother.
Mother, mother.
Oh, she's so upset.
She's so upset.
Oh, God.
But, oh, you worry.
She'll be fine. Oh, she yes of course
Because it's Danielle divine divine
Come by
Tellable news no god. Oh, it's mother of the dog
Yeah, she was like a woman to me someone's paper on roof It's mother of the dog. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no when she was old. Dream about. Yeah.
A bar when she was old.
She should hold it.
She should hold it.
She should hold the tail to her best friend.
Ben Arnold.
Oh, God.
He didn't know where to look.
He didn't know what to do with his cut-bye.
Come by Ben Arnold.
Oh, come by.
Come by.
Come by.
Come by.
Come by. Come by. Oh, no. Mills broken. Oh come by come by come by come by
Come by oh no Mills broken Mills broken oh that sheep dog sheep dog sheep dog Mills broken Mills broken the sheep dog the sheep mill mills
Broken the sheep dog
Mills broken the sheep dog is is in fine fetters
Very confused Come by come, come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
He's got a hook.
He's got a hook.
He's got a hook.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on.
Let me tell you now. Let me tell you now. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come, come back, come back. Listen guys, the dog's ill.
Oh, no.
You're not gonna believe it,
mother of the dog's come back to life.
Oh, I'm now she's ill.
Come back, go away.
I'm afraid.
One of us is gonna have to take all the dogs and shoot them.
Shoot them, but it's not gonna be me.
It's not gonna be me.
It's not gonna be me.
It's not gonna be me, I.
It's gonna have to be, we'll be looting. We'll fucking looting. We'll fucking looting. It'll work, it'll work. It's not gonna be me. It's not gonna be me. It's gonna have to be. No.
We'll not.
We'll fucking noten.
We'll fucking noten.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you.
It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. It'll work in you. Never. Hoot. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Read and pack and not fall. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that.
Poor things.
It's like theaters, December 15th.