Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (The best curry house in Turin) S13E32

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. The bath is a blue broth and we're taking our old clothes down the charity shopPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at in that moment. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Greetings, Listerdeer. I'm Tom. I bet. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of the podcast, Papi's Flat Share. House meeting. That's where your favourite three Papis get together and have a chat. I would say we are the top three Papis. Very proudly, very proudly. Just about. There are a few people you remember us from pre 2009

who might disagree, but I would say this isn't for you. Currently most people have played the three captives. This is not for you guys. Yes, but what is for you? Listen to dear, is that we've got two flat share slam downs happening next month, Monday, October the 9th and Tuesday, October the 10th and they are going to be absolute humdingers. We had such a good time and we're really excited for you to hear these next two episodes. We had such a good time. Oh, they're lovely. Last week, recording our episodes with Richard Herring and Chappie Corsanti and Lauren

Lafield and Dan Schreiber, two absolute coolkers. We're really excited for you to hear them. They're coming out over the next two months. But if you would like to be part of podcasting history, then you want to come down to a life-cording. There really is, there's nothing like it, the atmosphere is so fun, we really enjoy it. October the 9th, we've got two brilliant guests

in Izzy Suzy and Ellis James. I believe they know each other. I believe they're acquainted. Oh, ho. And then on Tuesday, October the 10th, deck the halls with boughs of Advocat because it is our Christmas special. For scheduling reasons, we're doing it in October.

But you know what, I'm already starting. Just, you know, just making the little image where I have to put Santa hats on our heads. Already I'm getting that little tingle. It is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Well, that's your thing, isn't it? Your thing, Santa hats. So, that's why you get that tingle.

I get a real tingle from them. Get a real tingle from them. So, come along and get that same tingle that I was getting this week. Because we'll be joined by Angela Barnes and Eureka Katani. I'm not sure if they know each other. I just don't know. I don't actually know.

They're equate. We'll send them both a text, they do. Do you know Eureka? Oh, you'll get on like a house on fire. You're lovely. And have you got a Santa hat you can bring? Can you source a Santa hat in October? Yeah, you can get tickets for both shows individually. I think they're about a tenor or you can get a discounted ticket that gets you into both

shows for 17 pounds. So if you want to see both shows, do the Monday and the Tuesday, lots of people did, I think we had about 50 people who did both nights in September. So why not join those guys hardcore? And also, if you want to further discount, you could join the Patreon. What? Very good point, Clarky.

Yeah, Patreon members get a discounted ticket price as well. I think you get too quick off, you get too quick off the individual ticket, you get too quick off the double discount tickets. So it's well worth joining the Patreon and you also get obviously our flat share pop round, all the bonus beefs, you get the jingle as a single and you get a wonderful little community you can join of other like-minded listener deers. So join the Patreon, Patreon.com for slash Pappy's Flat Share today.

Absolutely amazing. Well, let's get into this house meeting, which I believe began with a parent Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat to? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always weak? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting?

Has meeting. So last night I was on solo parenting duty. I don going to get kids to bed. It was going pretty smooth. I got Sylvie into the bath and I had to sort of nip downstairs very quickly to go and grab Cleo to tell her to come up to get in the bath. She got herself this little bit of card that she was using as a sign and I said, don't worry, you can bring your sign, you can bring your sign upstairs or sort of using that as a little bargaining tool. So we brought the sign upstairs, it's just like a little bit of blue card and she hung it over the edge of the bath her sign and then she went off back downstairs. So I ran back downstairs after her and when I came up the sign was gone

and the bath was blue and I died my daughter blue. So you know you're not really supposed to leave a little kid in the bath even for a second but I'd run downstairs when I came back her fingers and toes and a lot of her torso had been dyed blue because she'd taken the sign and she'd scrunched it all up and made like a sort of blue broth inside the, inside the bath. Bath broth. It's yeah. Yeah. It's also like you know because obviously when you're, you know, when I'm away or when Charlie's away We'll message each other during during bedtime to go, you know Hope it goes well. How's it going? How have they been so far and the message you want to receive and the message you want to send really is

Yeah, it's going great. They've been amazing It always wants to be that. That's the message you want to you know that that's the only message you really want to like if you're away and And you know you get the message, it's been a nightmare, there's nothing you can do. You can't do anything with it. So, all you want is it's been amazing. And what the message you don't want to receive is... I've smurfed the adults. Yeah. I've turned one of our daughters into a member of the Blue Man Group. I had drumming it out of this world. But she shaved her head.

Did you shower it? Did you get it to where it needed to go? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we just, I did. Improved it. Improved. Get the other one in there.

I'll tell you what happened next, right? So what happened next was I ran downstairs to get one of those little things you pop in the sink to stop bits of food from going down the sink plug-o. So I got that, put that in the bath, so that all bits of paper sort of bunched up. And then it's got that out. Ran a new bath, clear, got into that new bath

when it was just starting to, you know, it was a starting to you know it was a couple of inches and she peed into it so it outcomes the plug on again water gone plug all back in new bar that's easy hello yeah she's green but yeah so that that Gary's that's all that what was new bath, new bath starts filling up. As I'm doing this, Sylvie has unspooled an entire toilet roll and she's about to chuck that. She's about to chuck that.

You've got to taste for bath broth. She loves a bit of Bappy Amache now. Absolutely a Bappy Amache. So yes, she's about to put that in the bathroom. No, no, no, stick all of that up on like a high shelf with the big splodge of blue. That's up on top of our high shelf. Great, you'll find that in about three years time.

Well, no, here's the thing I did find it immediately after. I got the kids' dress, got Sylvie settled and thought, right, before I go and read a story to Cleo, I'll go and take the splodge and just put it all in the bin. Everything's just going in the bin. So I was walking past the stairs, Cleo saw me walking past the stairs with the splodge in my hand. She went, well are you going, but I didn't know she was there and I went, what? And the splodge flopped out of my hands onto the carpet. So a big blue, a big blue die-filled balls just landed on the carpet. So I ran downstairs, put that in the bin,

grabbed some carpet cleaner, sprayed that on, went up, read the story, came back down, mopped it up, and yeah. And then a little cry. I had a tub of ice cream. Which is the same thing, really, isn't it? I was like, I can't face cooking myself in the air. I'm just going to, there's a half a tub of Ben and Jerry's. I'm just going to eat that. Sorry, I hate that. Perfect.

And the messages that you're sending during that, are you ever tempted to just go with, it's fine, they've been amazing. No, that's why I did send. What were you saying? And then, and then, and then as Charlie was coming home about nine o'clock, she said, she said, has it been okay?

And I said, I've got a great story to tell you. So, but like by that point, enough distance has passed, neither of our kids were blue anymore. My hands were still quite blue, but they're just cold from holding the ice cream. Yeah, yeah. Actually, that reminds me of your friend Rob.

Do you remember when Rob died his satchel? Do you remember his brother? I don't think I do actually know what happened. So when, because Rob is he a headmaster, is that right? Yes, that's right. And on the day before like a headmaster's conference or some sort of important business type event, he was looking at his satchel thinking,

I can't go in with this tattie old satchel. I'll have to dye it, I'll dye it black, and it will give it a whole new lease of life. And so he got like a basin and filled it with dye and dye it as satchel. And obviously didn't wear like protective gloves or anything. So he dyed his hands black. And I genuinely, I think about that all the time.

Concey thinking about Rob's dyed hands. And he said what he had to do was on the day of, well, the next morning when he had to go to the conference, he kept his hands behind his back for the whole of the day. Like, what I imagine is quite sort of statesmen like way to walk around. You know, quite professorial, really, isn't it? Quite teachyly, hands behind the back, shoulders back,

head up, hands behind the back. The gloves. Why did he put it could I mean that's too much to it very very deep in it master but also he would he would he'd lock eyes with people make really good eye contact and then stick his like if you have to shake someone's hand he'd stick his hand out and grab their hand and shake it and then put his hand right up back like this guy's incredible. This guy is so charismatic, he's got such gravitas. And I say, I'll sit behind him for a bit.

I seem tired to have to play. I'll just leave that one. What a gorgeous satchel. The satchel maker of the man, that's what they say. It would never even begin to occur to me to die a satchel. No. That's why you'll never make a headmaster. Yeah.

Yeah, very true. Depthy head, tattysatchel, white hands. I'm happy. I'm set. What? white hands. I'm happy. I'm sick. What do you do you have a partake in vented? Vented, I've done vented, yeah, yeah I've vented. I bought stuff, I've never sold stuff on vented. That feels like a new way of life now. It feels like I don't if it's a parenting thing but you hear that a lot in the park. Yeah, people always go. Oh, yeah, it's vented. I know the name, but what taught me through it? It's selling your old clothes online basically selling and buying old clothes online right it's gum tree for clothes

Yeah Right the charity shop, but no money goes to the charity The charity shop, but no money goes to the charity. LAUGHTER Yeah, that's exactly what it is actually. Because we're big chasers in this house. We're big, big donators. So that's where all our stuff goes. We don't ever think, you know what is?

Is that I can't be asked with the admin, you know? Like, hit, I am still, I'm still a set in my ways. If I want to buy things, I go to a shop, you know, like especially clothes. You know, if it's something that way, where you need to see it on. Yeah, but that's like, it is an alright grandad thing because what Charlie will do is she will, you know,

she will buy a ton of stuff, she'll try to load it on, she might send all of it back. So there's always bags ready to go to the post office or to be picked up by the delivery guys. And I think the ad benefit, if I buy an item of clothing online and I don't like it, I just keep it until I chuck it away. You know, I mean, not chuck it away. I always do that. I always do that. But you know, like, and Charlie would be like, oh no, no, it's really easy. You'll print out this for me. The second you no, no, it's really easy, you'll print out this for me. The second you go, print out, it's not easy.

All you've got to do is print out this thing and then fill it in and then send an email. I'll put out that blue sign, it'll be fine. Yeah. Pop it in the bar. Rub it all over your body. I think I can go wrong. That's easy.

That's easy. How do they make bread and no wheat? That's easy. Do you want to see what the world is really like? How do they make bread with no wheaty? How do they make bread with no wheaty? Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.

I love that. Four things. It's a like theatre's December 15th. The thing I think with cherry shops that I can't quite get my, I feel like there's a certain degree of arrogance to go, someone's gonna want this. Like the stuff that I'm getting rid of. Oh yeah.

I don't think with a clear conscience, I can put it in a shop fair enough. This is not fit for any other. It feels, it feels nothing short of audacious. It's someone who's going to want to repurchase it. That's how I feel. So I have that happy medium that's come along in society is the clothes bin where you can still just back it up

and whack it in a skip and it doesn't feel like you're taking it around to you know prudence and sheeler and going bung that up behind the till you know what you should go into Banadeau is you know because there's all whatever whenever I'm in like a Siro either or, or a Bernardo's or any of that, there's always someone in there going, you know, you must have something like all I want is a slightly too large yellow t-shirt that absolutely wreaks. You must have something in the back like, come on, come on. There's got to be a market for it. If it could preferably have a variety of miscellaneous stains, it looks more like a map of the world than it does a t-shirt, that would be muddry, might have. Yeah, I actually, I actually feel a lot more guilty about the fabric recycling

because that's the real drags going to the fabric recycling. Don't you? Yeah, it's just basically parchment at that point. What am I going to do with Tough Muddah? The idea of the chewing shred, right, is that Jesus washed his face on a towel? Is that right? Yeah, yeah, they handed him a towel. Has it got like an imprint of his face? Like a...

Yeah. Like a... Yeah. It means not real though. He's just done a tough murder. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Um, the, uh, the, and then he washes his face, right? And then the face burnt into it over time. I can't, I can't imagine it was instant. It's like a brass rubbing of Jesus so quickly. Somebody quickly got some charcoal. It was the end of a curry.

The bit of Boris Gump when he puts it on his face. And he takes it off and it's like the smiley face. That's how I imagine it happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His face was covered in sort of all kinds of, you know, like, you know, all kinds of mud and blood and all that kind of stuff. And he popped it on, and it just left an imprint. I've been to the best Curry House in Chorin. Yeah. And I pop him a warm towel. And while he's doing it, someone gets a quick barge and rubs it across.

Perfect. Oh, that's just making me hungry. We'll get an onion bargey, and does an onion barge and rubs it across. Perfect. Oh, that's just making me hungry. We'll get an onion bargey and does an onion bargey rubbing on his face. It takes all the grease off and it's got the perfect imprint of Jesus' face. Was the tour in shroud like the first version of that thing with the pins that you stick your face in the same direction? Was it the earliest prototype of that thing with the pins that you stick your face in the center of the chair. Was it the earliest prototype of that? It's, I mean, they've really got away with one with the trailer to your end, let's be honest.

But it isn't real, is it? It was, the trailer to your end isn't a real thing, it was a fake, right? Well, I mean, I presume so, but it's all fake but is it as it been accepted as a fake? That's it yeah is it still like a holy item? I don't know. Is it gonna drop up in the next in the allergione movie? The picture I remember seeing of the shrouda turin right? It's like The picture I remember seeing of the shroud of Turin, right? It's like, it's a guy with a sort of long face and a beard and long hair, but it looks exactly like someone's drawn a face. Like, it really is a very, very clear imprint of a face, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hairs on it on there. Yeah, it's not getting on it that way. Yeah, a beard. Not less, it's the, the, it's the snooze of Sharin. Sharin. And he's wrapping his entire face in it, and then unpeeling it and his hairs on it. But yeah, the picture was like a sort of, you know,

it was a guy with a bearded guy with a long face in his eyes closed. No way is that. You know what would have worked? If you'd ran Christ a bath with your daughters nearby and he went to wash his face in it and then you just get a beautiful perfect papi mache mask of Christ. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it. That would have worked. Or just giving one of those face packs, but you make it out of something that hardens. And they just, that's what people should have been doing.

They should have said, Jesus, look, you wanna look good for the last supper. You've got a couple of sort of slightly clogged pores here. You know, you've got quite an oily T zone. Pop on this face mask and just let it set and then when we peel it off and then you've got a perfect face mask of Jesus. The problem with running a bath for Jesus is he just sits on top of it. There's no way in for he come.

That's why he's got such a dirty face. He invented the word spreading, didn't he? Yeah. Jesus could never appear on the TV show Splash. He would, and really, he'd look amazing in those little drunks. But the second he hits the water, he bounces straight off and goes flying into the audience. I'd watch that show. He wouldn't do it, would he? The money would have to be good for Jesus to do splash. No, he's not about the money though, is he? He's about spreading the message.

Yeah, but then you don't want splash to spread the message. At least go on the job. I'm a celebrity. Yeah, at least. No, it's strictly, isn't it? It's strictly for... Yeah, I'd say Jesus. Jesus yeah this is a good question actually do you think Jesus is more BBC than he is terrestrial TV I'd definitely more is he more I player than he is at ITVX yeah I can't imagine see that you know like you'd be okay with all the adverts yeah it's a good point isn't it you've turned all the tables he'd be up to all the adverts. Yeah, it's a good point, isn't it? You've upturned all the tables.

He'd be upturned all the tables every time. There's no way he's doing something like take away when it's like we give away the adverts. He'd be up, see, I think Jesus would take a very dim view of Antendek. But then he was a man of the people, he hung out with, he didn't hang around with the establishment, did he?

So, you know. But yeah, it's tough call actually. So wait, you're saying that Antideck can't be establishment though. Not on the applicant to the BBC. Aren't Antideck the modern sort of kings? I mean, I mean, we have a king. but do you not think Antendek? Do you not think he'd be kind of anti all of it? I see Antendek is really successful fisherman and you know that's what he was all about. They're two working class

lads done good whereas you know over at BBC, the kind of the Oxbridge set, sat around with their pipes, planning a panorama. The old boys network. Yeah. You know, that's the high church. Whereas I think Antidecker, they're the best fisherman in town. If you heard that deck had been born in a manger, it wouldn't surprise you. I think, I think, I think, Ant and Deck and Jesus have a lot in common. You're right. If you found out, if you found out that Ant had had a night on the tiles and slept in a manger, slept outside a press-emotion, heave me.

You've... I can buy it. I hope he's okay. But I also know that, you know, I know that that isn't going to sit well with Ben's family who are devoutly Christian and also huge fans of the BBC. Yeah, true, true. Maybe that's my bias showing through there that I've instantly went to the BBC.

Well, no, the real answer. The real answer and no one wants to admit this is every channel four and they make a bloody. We're different advertising thing about it. You know, because... Born risky. Yeah, exactly. Jesus was born risky. He's out there with the crims, with the sex workers, with the kind of working class. He's at the docks. Yeah. That's where channel four is, you know. That's the answer. Channel

forward certainly like to give. Yeah. Yeah. When Jesus is put out to tender, Channel forward are gonna make a strong bid for him. A really strong bid. Because here's the thing, if Jesus was on Strictly, would he dance to secular songs, or would he dance purely to hymns?

Lord of the dance, Lord of the time. He'd just do a different style every week. I'm doing the Pasaday Blay, but it's to Lord of the dance, Lord of the time. He just do a different style every week. I'm doing the Pasaday Blay, but it's to Lord of the Dance. And then after just keep doing different versions of it, that would be my, I think that would be my strictly tactic, actually. Same song, different style of that song every week. And then people are really getting into it. They're like, oh my god, how's he gonna rumble up Copacabana? It's like, okay, that was my same question. The same way, it's like, the same way that I want Copacabana. No, a song that is so within a genre.

But that's what's so good about it. Every time I play Tony in a number of different ways. And what about when there's a themed week, like a Halloween? Spooky Copicabana, Tony's a vampire. Every week it starts saying, I'm Tony, I'm at the bar. It's a bit of acting at the top. And it's good because my partner gets to be low, low and do, she gets to do quite a lot of the legwork. Whereas I'm purely bringing, you know, the spectacle on Halloween week, I turn around

and I've got vampire fangs in and it's like Tony's a vampire. I mean, quite a distressing place with Copic a banner at the moment because when we were going on holiday, I just went to a Spotify playlist of summer holiday songs. I thought here we go, this can be great. Holiday by Madonna, interclub trope of carna. Beautiful. Claries having the time of their life. We get to number three and it's the Spanish version of Copicabana. I think it's kind of version of Copicabana. I think it's kind of... it sounds more Mexican-Spanish kind of thing, but Manelos doing it. There's a mariachi theme to it, yeah? Well, no, no, no, it sounds like Copicabana, but he's just singing it Spanish. Oh, okay. And obviously it blows everyone's

minds in the car, but my daughter cannot... Obviously it does. Can I get past it? And she's like, I want that one again. I want that one again. So as some holiday was three, the drive from the holiday home to the beach was three Spanish versions of Copicabana long. So that's six times a day. Does it act as a sort of a do-a-lingo for you though?

Do you feel like you've picked up any of the... I think I have. And then I launch into it and realize I haven't and then it sounds quite insulting. I mean, that's it as well. Like most, like, there are plenty of songs I absolutely love that I'm basically just singing phonetically what I think the words might be.

Yeah, so there's no, I'm not always singing, you know, English words for English songs. To think I might learn a language just from listening to one song. I know one of them finishes with disparo. Nala disparo asikopa. I don't know what disparo means, but that's in there. It's never been we took Tony, Ackos, C and bar. Yeah, I think, I mean, like, there's a lot of that going on, basically. You know the story, so you can kind of

pit try and piece it together. But anyway, you know, you take Copa Cabana and you do it, you do it different ways every week. I think that's gonna keep you in the competition. I think people are gonna wanna know. I think you have the third week. People are like, they can't Copacabana again. How do you drive the Copacabana and it's like, here's how?

And then people are like, oh my God, they've got the American smooth next week. That's never been Copic about it. Here's how. And then I think that's gonna get you to the final. I'm not sure it'll see you win, but I think it'll get you to Blackpool. And do you think post that, obviously you go,

you get to the, you get to Black pool, you get to go on the tour as well. They'll have to that on the tour. Yeah, you're doing that on the tour. Then do you think you're touring yourself with a big band and you're performing Copic a Banner 12 Ways? Well, do you think that's... Do you think people want to see that show? and you're performing Copicabana 12 ways. Well, do you think that's,

I think people would want to see that show because I feel like they might, if you sort of trodden horse this idea into the, that people love the different versions of Copicabana into the sort of British psyche, I think you could make a lot of money on that tour, big venues, big band, and it's you performing. Obviously, bit of dancing, bit of singing. What about Copicabana, the musical? And it's the story of Copicabana,

but every song in it is Copicabana. Every song in it is just one line of Copicabana. Oh my god. I'm finding every person that's finding this completely nightmarish, when like Tony dies, you're going to a really sad, load of things to sad versions. I've got for time. Oh, Tom, Tom, Tom, I'm sorry, I'm only halfway through the song. I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I've had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I'm ready to listen to the first half. I've just got, I've got bad listening habits at the moment because, you know, kids take a long time to put down. So, by the time you get downstairs, you meet your type of ice cream,

you only want to watch about half a song, once what if I... Well, I hate to break to you, Crosby, but Tony, Moie, Moie, Morty. Oh, Morty. Oh, please. Sam's 10, mate. Moie, Moie, Morty. Oh, please. Santa Maria. Sorry. Sorry, I'm more like more, okay. I don't know if more taste the right word.

But anyway. I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding. Can I have a lift? I live in the need. I'm bleeding. So yeah, that's so this morning on the way to baby G and we did it twice to two times round

on Spanish fabric about Look at that. Are you getting to the stage now where you're feeling the, where you actually listen to it in your own time and you go, shoot. If you slightly miss it. Yeah, if you're slightly missing glow, do you go to go, oh, I might just have a little listen to it. I'm on that, I'm on that, I'm on that way with Sarah and Duck.

Oh, Sarah and Duck is a hell of a show. Sarah and Duck are happily watching my own. But the thing that my daughter did this morning was, we'd listen to it twice, we got to gym, and as we go at the car, she said, can you pass me my Copa Cabag, please? Oh my gosh, that's like, yes. I love it.

I love it, please. You've got a Copa Cabag. Hahaha. Does she want to join Papi? I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love tactic and I think we should all have it's

good to have one it's good it's good to have what's what's gonna take it in the same way you need to have your taskmaster outfit just in case you get the call you need to have your strictly tactic it's gonna get you to strategy strategy. Yeah. If I get to the final, Manalow's gonna sing it. Oh, wow. We, of course. That's my, you know, that's like Robby on X Factor moment. That's what you want. Manalow, I bet Manalow buzzes on,

you're certainly getting a good look message off him. Yeah, the very least. You're certainly getting a VT of Manalow. But yeah, what have you got a tactic what's gonna get you to, what's gonna get you pass Blackpool basically? Guess I'd just be like really amazing at dancing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I'm just probably the best at turning on the same ever. What's your style you've got you you're into? Lindy Hop? What, how does that manifest itself in strictly? Joy, is it jive? It's jiving, isn't it? Jive, yeah.

I suppose, yeah, quite close to it. But once you've got your jive out the way, here's a question, are you jiving early? Like are you saying, give me my jive early, I'm gonna bring it and then you've got to that boys you about three weeks to get a bit of personality across. Yeah, I was gonna say maybe week three, I'd lob it in there. I think the first couple of weeks probably be okay. Right?

Right guys. I think you might need to gyve early. Yeah. We've just been opening video. Across the night I would talk about this early and we were dreading you saying the week three gyve because we're going to put it here for you to. We've been talking about a lot of the few weeks what were clarky. An honest lady.

And we thought you were going to rest on your laurels to week three and I just know you can't you've got to come out the box. I'll go see that that's our worst nightmare you say week three we kind of the time we're so sorry we we need you to really come and join it. When the second you said I'd probably wait to week three I felt like I felt like someone's walking over my grave it was honestly it was, it was like the worst kind of day shot of it. Do you know what? I'm so glad we've had this chat because otherwise, you know, I'd be going in blind on night. I'm going to get the call.

I can imagine any second. Just, you know, this is truly what friends are for. And, uh, Taskmaster, this is this is truly wonderful and a taskmaster I think. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we, we're dreading what you're going to say. Well, I'd pick something out of vintage. Yeah. It used to be long seat on. it's two yellow t-shirts. Yeah One for the top one for the bottom. Yeah, so pre-record bathroom crossbees and blue man group it

But it would yeah do one of those entirely painted on outfits It's essentially what wandered, isn't it? It's body paints. You've got for body paint, yeah. Body painted like a winter outfit, like a brown duffel coat, like a brown cordy-duffel coat. A tuxedo. Body painting, oh my god. Body paint tux. On Taskmaster, I think that's good. I just think in any situation body paint tux on Taskmaster. I think that's good. I just think in any situation, body paint tux is a good thing. Good name for the tour. I think body paint tux on strictly

because as you start to sweat, week on week, because the dancers get harder. Well, the dancers are the only thing. I don't know, there's no lim Limbo is going to come into it. Crosby, would your tactic involve being a little dude who's hoofed it around? You know, like, she does the lift. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you've got the first dance you're in a place. And she just solo dances. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you've got the first dance you're in a place. And she just solo dances. Yeah. She like, she flashed dances. That in fact, time of my life. This by the way, me and a popoo is exactly what I had for week one because what I am going to do is I'm going to do over the seven weeks, the seven ages of you man. It's unfortunate because for the grand final, you've got a zimmer frame. I know, grand final, they will have a coffee. Oh, beautiful. And I do. It does like a juggling act.

So the coffee gets wheeled on, little holes pop out the sides and out the bottom. My arms come out the sides, my legs come out the bottom and it's I'm like that I'm like that that boy let the comedy boy the mascot. I like that guy but a Buckeye and there I am and yeah yeah I'm absolutely I'm absolutely going to catch you spin me around her head She picked me up and spin me around her head just using the box I could catch my name, catch my H. Yeah, because that... Catch me if you can. That's really strong, because it means for the first couple of weeks as well.

Yeah, like you're in a poo since she's just doing a flash dance. You know, you're just getting to ride along, you know, week two, you're kind of being thrown around a lot. It's also the first few weeks, it's a great way of disguising the facts that I wear at adult diapers. So I can make it, I can make it, I can make it. The fact that I've been in continents since the age of 30, I can make a feature in this now.

You've only got a few weeks to get through without pissing yourself actually. Well, that is seeming like part of the show. That's what they say. They say, well, this side, you the show. That's what they say. They say what they say to you act as strictly. That's what they really mean by the strictly curse, isn't it? Is incontinence? All those people look, they're getting off with the dancers just to create a distraction from the time the photos of them shitting themselves in the rehearsal room. It's like, look, we can publish that. But if you do just get off the right side of pub,

then we'll go with that instead, and you're like, fair enough. Give me two nights. Give me two. Because the real strictly curse is like a pebble dashed rehearsal room mirror. No more spinning please. In my case, I wouldn't say give me two nights. I say give me five weeks because there's no way she's getting off with me.

Well, I'm dressed like a toddler. It just can't happen when I've got the little hat with the propeller on the top and over so I was lollipop. I don't think in good conscience. Please, let me wait till freshman week. Yeah good tactics, good tactics. I feel like we're all getting, I think we're all getting to blackpool. I think we're going to get the call on. Yeah. I think we are. Well, body, body paint tux is a risky gambit. Body, body paint tux, especially if Clark is not bringing it to week three. I think if the first

week he's just hearing the body paint tux just going to move in his arms a little bit, you know, given the thumbs up to someone doing some amazing dancing. I think what it'll actually be is like Matthew's doing the seven stages of man. I'll be doing the seven stages of grief. Right. It'll be my angle for it. Denial that you're in a body paint tux. Right, right through acceptance. The first week, I'm not wearing a body paint tux.

My week seven, I am wearing a body paint tux. Guys, I've got some news. You're not going to believe this. And the audience is going, now, actually, we're still on the regret phase. We might as well let Gus Grieber our own pace here. We don't think we're going to achieve this acceptance until you've left the show. Then, yeah, when we go on tour, I'll myself down, I wipe my body paint off, and that'll be the touring shroud.

Wow. Merch. Merch. On sale in the foyer, the touring shroud. It was quite a good show. You know, the dancers came out, they did a few dances, that was really, really good. And at the end, the guy wearing the body paint tucks just rubbed himself on a duvet cover for 15 minutes.

Not exactly how I hope the show would close, but you know. And 40 quid? 40 quid in the foyer? I feel like we got our money's worth. You do a similar thing when you're at your tea day in stage, don't you? Not for 15 minutes, 10 seconds, well like. The pisser doeble.

I've been there, being there, being there. What the worst thing you've considered eating. I've been there. There you go. Lovely episode episode actually. Enjoyed it. Enjoyed the hell out of it. I forgot to say, talking about charity shops. I got a message from my friend who had just walked into a charity shop in North London

and staring down the barrel at her was a framed photo of us on sale for a five-year. A five-year? A five-year-old. A five-year-old. A five-year-old. A five-year-old. A five-year-old. A five-year-old.

An absolute sin. Of course, you got to. Double the price it was originally sold for. It's a bit like they say, you know, if you see a bar that's got your name, you've always got to walk into it. If you see a framed photograph yourself in a charity shop, you've got to buy it for different reasons to save your embarrassment that there's images of you in a charity shop. It's got to buy it for different reasons to save your embarrassment that there's images in a charity shop. It's also why I'm changing my name to Red Lion.

Oh, yes. I was gonna say you put, and as your middle name, but man, anyway, it's not good. Right, anyway. So anyway. Anyway, so we've been recently charity shopped. We've been charity shopped.

It's amazing. it's amazing. If you see any, there's not a lot of merch out there, but if you see occasionally a Bad Alts crew member bag, we just want to take a photo of that and say we saw this in a charity shop and you totally understand that. They are good. I'm surprised they've still held out,

because I use my Bad Alts team member bag for ages and it just it was like a sort of old school School bag it's like an old it was actually like an old satchel. You tried dying there. Yeah, I did die I died a black catch it. I'm in killed it the way we treated that crew. It's a miracle. They've held onto those bags Yes Well, was there only payment, wasn't it? Yes, yeah. We did say there's money inside the bag, and then we made a quick trip back down to London, never in that to Glasgow since. By the way, do you want to very, very quickly play around

of, if this is my voice, what, how? Oh, yeah, I do, yeah. Oh, I forgot about that. Okay. Now I'll tell you now that the person who sent this in has not given us the answer. So it's really, really, he's just kind of, I guess whichever one we could, I mean I guess what once we do it, they can get back in touch and tell us if we were right or wrong, but you know, I'm happy to leave this on a cliffhanger. Here we go. The Cota from Birmingham.

What happened to my wearing? God, God, man, what's where you're going? Right, that was the Cota from Birmingham. What hat is the Cota from Birmingham wearing? Sir, that's a, that's a bowler, isn't it? I think it's either a bowler or a pith helmet. Oh! Do you know it's got a real feel of hunting tigers out in India.

You know that old song, it's got that kind of thing. I don't think it was enough. I think it's more on the steps in Mary Poppins. It's to the bank's children when he started to cut loose. I don't know, banks are children. Well, we don't know. We don't know anything about him. You don't know anything about me. One more time, let's hear it one more time. A coater from Birmingham. What happened to my wearing? God, God, man, what's where you're going? Yeah, maybe you're right, maybe it's Bola.

I think so. I'm very strong, a very strong outing. So as always, leave us a message with your favourite stereo phonic song, your favourite city in the UK, and then what hat are you wearing? LAUGHTER Decoater's done another one, do you want to hear another one very quickly? Yeah, yeah, Decoater's good at this. Why?

I had more bollocks. LAUGHTER Dakota, from Birmingham. What happened to my wearing? Why, I do declare I got the vagabond. OK, it says it's one of these kids that vapes. Yeah, so what do you think? Well, actually everyone's vaping these days,

not many people wear hats. So anything from the bucket hat to the B knee, to the baseball cap. It's like a bonnet. I'm thinking bonnet. But then actually it's more like street car name desire, isn't it? It's got more of that kind of vibe. Yeah, like what are the long kind of wicker ones

that like a wicker trailby or something like that? A bit bigger in the trailby? I don't like the mooter, but more like, you know what it's like, it's like a long, just like a sudden sun. Like a sudden sun. Yeah, gathered around. Yeah, gathered, yeah.

We've kind of got that piece of cloth that they can gather under that. A big bow under the chin and a big sort of like, almost like the Sydney Opera House shape. Yeah, like a sun hat. Like a wicker sun hat. Like a wicker sun bonnet, yeah. Dakota, you've got to get back in touch

until as if we're close. Last one from Dakota. I like the way it's wearing the last message. He messed up his own system, that we haven't asked him to do, but he just went, he started with a hot bonnet I'm done, I haven't done Dakota Birmingham, what happened? What happened? I'm wearing, anyway, here we go. Dakota, Birmingham, what happened? Am I wearing?

One false move in it all goes orderly wrong. I could do that, it's a little day. Oh, good old. One false move in it all goes orderably wrong. It's terrible South African. That's terrible. I'm glad he said it was so thoughtfully wrong. What's hat is the, what hat is that one false move and it all goes horribly wrong. One false move and it all goes horribly wrong.

All right, he's wearing like a fucking prod. I think he's twisted the format, I think he's bare-headed. I think he's had this. I think he's wearing a hat that grants him diplomatic immunity. I think that's right, yeah. So there's a diplomat's hat that says immunity on it. We're saying boater. We're saying bonnet. We're saying diplomat's hat.

Dakota, put us out of our misery and get back in touch, mate. We need to know. We need to know. And please state your name and what city you're in. Yeah, if anyone else wants to, you can get in touch, or if you'd like to send us a beef, because we need some more audio beef, we love them.

You can get in touch using this number. Oh, two, oh, eight, one, two, three, three, two, seven, two, what's your beef? Oh, two, oh, eight, one, two, three, three, two, seven, two, what's your beat? Beautiful. Do you get in touch? And we'll be back real soon.

Stys Episod was produced by McCorsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to add in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.

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