Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Think Tank) S13E36

Episode Date: October 9, 2023

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. Clarky makes a great point and we ration stuff with big government. It's all think tank fodder.Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom. Pat in love for you. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things.

It's like theaters for December 15th. Greetings, Listeria. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Pappies Flat Share House Meeting. Oh, meeting that is where Tom, Ben and Matthew, all the Pappies boys as they are known in podcast land, get together and talk for a while about some stuff. I like this new, you know, something a little bit sort of the

world service on, you know, on the radio. It was very much, it was, it was very, a very traditional intro, I thought. It's fresh as week. You know what I mean? Yes. There's going to be a lot of people arriving. Yes. saying to a group of brand new people, you've got to check out this part. It's for us. You're welcoming in the newbies. They're going to be coming at it for the first time. We've got to set the table.

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You can have a week's free trial. So what's holding you back? Yeah, go check it out. Sign up for the free seven days. See if you like it. If you don't, no harm, no foul. If you love it, just I guess you just don't do anything. And it keeps taking forward from your account every month,

which is not to come on. It's not easy. It's a little bit of half a pint now. Unfortunately. But listen, don't play, don't play, don't play much for that. But yeah, do get onto the Patreon. We would love to see you there. Okay, we'll enjoy this pod.

I've had a thought. I've got an issue. Enjoy this pod. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat?

Has meeting. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? This half a half meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Half meeting. Just before we started recording,

I had a near brush with, well I'll tell you what happened, right? I was tiding up around the area that we were about to record. That was a trauma or brush. Yeah, I nearly brushed my hair. For the first time since 2004, I thought, no. I've gotta let my freak flag fly here, guys.

No, never brushing the hair, never brushing the teeth. This is just the rules I live by, all right? And if you don't like it, you can fuck off like everybody else has done. When they get within a couple of meters of me. There's a reason we know record only over Zoom. Yeah, and even now it's still becoming a problem. I can still start to get the weird.

You can, yeah, I now walk around like pig pen out of peanuts. I've got like waves coming off me. Like just lines coming off me. That's your hair, isn't it? Visible, yeah. What people think of the hair, it's visible lines of stink. That's absolutely not.

Oh, well. I'm actually quite a well scrubbed and fragrant boy. But yeah, so I was tidying up the area around where I'm about to record. And my daughter had been on the sofa eating little kind of fruity sort of, they're called bear paws, I don't know if you've ever seen them before, they're little sort of flattened fruity

sweets basically. They're sort of like, you know, they're the kind of like gateway sweets before you give kids real suites. It's what you try and keep your kids on for as long as possible before they find out about, yeah, no, no, crucially, there's no, no, Clarky. I know you're a, I know you're a drug's guy now, man.

What? Yeah, I know. I know you want to have the fabulous furry freak brothers, but no, they're not, they're not edibles. That you know, like, they're edibles in that they are food. They're edibles in the, you know. All food edibles? That's an oral man.

Yeah, exactly. Discuss. When you're really high, clucky. Yeah, all foods, munchies, right? Oh boy. All foods, munchies, that's what they say. And, and, are you high right now? Oh, fuck munchies.

Oh, of course. But... Anyway, she's been eating these things. There was one of them left on the sofa. I went to pop it in my gob and just... And before I popped it in the gob, I realized it was a dead fly. Oh! Oh, mate.

So it didn't go in. It was between the fingers. It was going for the mouth. And then of course, I, you know, I'm recoiled in horror and threw it into the bin. I gave it the proper burial, it deserved. I said a small prayer and slid the bin back into the kitchen unit. But I think it to myself is a dead fly. Like, is that that bad a thing to eat? They're basically bear pulls mate.

That's what they made out of me. They're natural. We're only a few years off it. We're only a few years off it being, you know, that's what they say. We'll all be, That'll be our protein. Eating insects. Yeah.

That's the future of us. That's the future for us. It's the future of us. Who is, wait, who is day and who is us in this instance? Because it feels like you say us as in like just the three of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's our future. No one else is going to want to do it. It's gross. We've got a new sponsor, guys, and it's bug boards. So let's get on board.

It's like, you know, isn't it locusts and shit? And they're going to harvest them and that's where, and then flatten them and you have bug burgers when we can't, you know, use meat and... When meat is no longer. But so, right, okay, so say, for example, if you've already stopped eating meat and you're eating, you know, like, if I'm gonna have a burger, my burger will be made out of either vegetables or it will be made out of some sort of soy protein. Do I have to eat the bugs as well?

You haven't really caught this yet. You have to eat the bugs, mate. You've already gone back to the bugs. I've already got the whatever soy protein is. It's just, you know, it's like stuff that's scraped off the side of some sort of industrial process. You know, it's not real food. So if I'm not processed, it's killing bugs, baby.

Am I eating bugs or anything? I just don't feel like... I feel like... Won't we still be able to eat veg and that kind of stuff? Well, they say anyway, in your sleep, in an average year, you eat five bug burgers. LAUGHTER So, you know, and if you live in London, you're never more than half a meter away from three bug burgers. Yeah.

You do live, you know, quite a lot of gastropub. That's the problem. The bug and burger. How bad, how bad would it be? What would, what would have been the like, we're not living during the era of the plague, you know, I'm not living in Victorian London when the bugs would have been carrying all kinds of different diseases, right?

We're living in modern day London. What's going on inside that bug? Would it, would it have been a problem if I had made the realization three or four seconds later. I don't know if flies, flies feel inherently dirty. Grubby. Yeah. You're thinking the grubs aren't you?

Ah, that'll be it, yeah, yeah, yeah. The witcher's he fly. Yeah, that's true, I suppose. Flies do sort of, you know. If you're at the Bug Tachpaths, you probably want to skip the fly or derves. That's a good point, actually. Yeah, the Bug food guys aren't pushing flies,

and I think that's for marketing reasons. You hear them talk a lot about locusts because no one really knows what's going on with them, but you know, they're not pushing flies on to people just yet. And I think it's probably more of a marketing thing. There's something about Locust as well that when you think of Locust, you automatically think of a swarm of Locust. You very rarely think of two or three Locust just chilling out together. You think of a swarm of Locust, which immediately seems like a banquet. It

seems like a feast, doesn't it? You think, oh You think oh well yeah there's going to be loads of them because if someone say go to one of those swarm or you can eat buffets. But actually when you condense those swat you need about three swarms to make one bug burger. It's like spinach. Do you think so? Yeah. It just reduces right down to the moist. There isn't a lot on those little, on those long legs, are there? They're pretty scrawny beaks. Yeah. Then a worst kind of chicken wing substitute. Yeah.

So what you're talking about is like, it feels a little bit like a crisp, I imagine. You air fry a locused. Right. Is it going to taste like, you know, they sometimes do those vegetable crisps that they have to like really over salt because they taste of absolutely nothing. You know, prette used to do them and you don't put up the bag and it would be like, oh, this one's really orange because it used to be a carrot and this one's really red because it used to be a beetroot and they all taste a fucking cardboard. It doesn't taste like, you know, you get none of that. You're like, oh, I quite like the taste of carrots. I quite like the taste of beetroot.

We've taken out the taste, we've taken out the texture, we've just kept the colour. You into that? That was the, I mean, I do quite like vegetable criss, sorry, sorry, clucky. As a civilization, we've essentially reached the halfway point of a Cuna Matata, basically. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's where we're at. We're at slimy, yet satisfying, and ha ha. That's where we're at. We're at Slimey, yet Satisfying, and I think... Doesn't feel like no troubles though. I mean, actually, if that fly had gone down, you might have found yourself coming to a similar conclusion. Slimey, but Satisfying, and then you'd have the shits for three days.

Ha ha ha ha ha. You'd probably be saying the same thing. And then weirdly, I would attract even more flies into the house. Yeah. And the circle of life. So it's two different lines. There we go. Perfect. You see me coming out my front door in the mornings, and lifting a flyer loft above my head, like the ape at the start of the Lion King, just singing the... I don't know, a on, but just with a little fly holding it by its wings.

And then yamming it into my car. Yeah, I'm only done. A moment on the lips, a lifetime with the squits. That's what they say. No, that is what they say. I just can't wait to be Bug Burger King. Clarke makes a good point. He does, but not to be Bug Burger King. And he does make a good point. And he does, but he does, mate. He just makes it to be Bugbug King.

And he does make a good point there, actually. Well, what are my best? He makes a great point there. He just can't wait to be Bugbug King. I was actually talking about before he said, really. Yeah, no matter, he makes, all right, Clarky makes a variety of good points. Well, Clarky makes the best point

in that he just can't wait to be bumper-king. And then I guess everything else can be good to that point. A variety of other points that I can take or leave. But we're talking about the bug tap ass. Right. What are your absolute, yes, I'm going straight for it. And what are you thinking? Well, I'm going straight for it.

And what are you, you know, what are you thinking? Well, I might order it for the table, but I'm not really gonna, you know, I'm not really that bothered about it. What are you kind of, what are you kind of potatoes bravas? What are you thinking yes? Absolutely, yes please for me.

What are your garlic gambons? You know, what are you, what are you, what are the kind of classic things? Oh yeah, cricket croquettes? Cricket croquettes. I think if you're allowed to stick in other things around it, we've gotta have a little bit. Otherwise I'm just as famous.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, point is what I mean is that because the way Perry was selling us the locus burger was it seemed like he'd got three swarms of locused and compressed

them down into the shape of a burger and that was it and that's what that's what they're suggesting but if you're allowed to sort of make you know can will cheese still exist presumably not It'll have to be like, like, we're in a weird season. For little maggots. Yeah, that's it. So you're talking, we're talking about a locus burger with maggot cheese on the top. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I keep talking. I keep talking, I'm a little bit of a baby. I'm a little bit of a baby. Do you think, you know how they do crop rotations? Do you think if we started now, we could like rotate foods as a rotisserie. Basically, I'm just really, I wanna come out.

You're saying if we all decided, right, okay guys, we're having a fellow year on jelly. No one's eating any jelly. I mean, that wasn't thinking. Oh, well, okay Matthew, you make a bad point. Just what? You know what, I respect that. Clark, he can't abide the idea of having one year away from jelly.

Yeah. He took that point very personally. He gets a lot of kids' parties. What can you, by the way, Matthew, from my cold, dead, wobbly hands? Okay, all right. What food are you suggesting that we try and convince the world to stop eating for a year? Because it feels like, yeah, it's in our future. We're all gonna have to eat bugs.

But if we go right, yeah. Everyone. Guys, it's in our future. We're all gonna have to eat bugs. But if we go right, yeah, everyone. Yeah, guys, guys, it's in our future. We're not gonna have to eat bugs. I know you didn't use to eat animals, but now you do. And it's bugs, the worst kind of animals. If we all go right for next five years, let's just eat bugs.

And then maybe in that time, we go like, oh, there's loads of fish again, we find. We can do fish again for a bit. Just think we could do that, like rotate. Ration. You can't base it back, right? It's kind of rationing, isn't it really? What are you talking about there?

Eco rationing. Yeah, but just like, leave a couple of food groups bay for a few years, let them replenish. And then just go after the bugs. Do you remember when Paul McCartney tried to get meat free Mondays off the ground? And how well that went? I don't think that was to do with the idea of meat free Mondays, I think it was more to do with the jingle.

You can do it right now, please. Ever remembers it? It's catchy. What, right, Col on, give us, because we're not gonna start, you're not gonna be able to start with, say, everybody in the, everyone on the planet, or even everyone in the country gives up beef.

You know, like one of the big problematic, ecological, ecologically problematic foodstuffs. Oh, it has to be, oh, could it just be big government? Give up big government. Is that a big name for someone who lives next door to you? It's a great nickname actually. Not bad. Here he comes, big big gloves out. Is that everyone want to do? When you do it like by street. So you your road no you have very nice your your road no beef for a year and it's like sure you'll have a tough old summer where it's coming in from Stuart Road next

what you know they're rubbing it in there while they're rubbing all sorts of things sorted to it to be a bit big into that isn't everyone just going to go over to their neighbor's house to eat beef? You're going to have sort of like, it's going to be like prohibition. You're going to have like speak easies that are just branches of wimpy. Yeah, and that's the problem. But like, there's no one to, you know, you'd be assigned it. You'd be like, I'm having my year off beef this year because I live on that road. Yeah. And then you'd be at, I'm having my year off beef this year because I live on that road. Yeah.

And then you'd be at a Stewart Road barbecue. Have you met a Stewart Road by the way? He's lovely guy. So he looks like sort of big government, doesn't he? Yeah. I've not met him, he sounds like a lovely guy. He's always carrying a fear. I was sad and I said to die for.

If you were, if you're a man, it's like like a vegetarian would be coming to the barbecue. You know, like a vegetarian would arrive at the barbecue, but it's like, I'm on my vegetarian year. So I can't partake in all of Stuart's goods, but I could do, you know, the other stuff he's put, I could have a bug burger. The next year, it's your turn.

You get into the beef. So you know, like, it is just based on discipline, but it's a fair point, you know. Maybe we can do that for a lot of things. You know, like Stuart Road be fucking this year. You guys, your fat life for 12 months. I don't know why we'd do that one. But... It would make the people on Stuart Road who aren't fucking feel really bad about

themselves. You know, like, it's like imagine if you were going through, like, a follow period that wasn't government sanctions, as we all have in our lives at some point, you know, mine was sort of zero to seven, and then from then on it was just water wall banging. But I, you'd feel worse wouldn't you if you were on your, if you were on your fellow period knowing that in six months time, unless you get a shifty on, you're going to go through another year that you can't do anything about, unless you want to go to prison. It's sort of how all problem with you, Ne,

was that kind of, whenever you're told you should be doing something like that, like the pressure of going, oh, you're going to be, you know, the idea of going, then you go to university and it's just, sex all the way, player, and then you get there and you're like, oh, god, oh no, I'm not ready for this. What's going on, player? It's going to look. It's going to be a bit like that.

It'll be like, I can't wait till January the 1st. God, I want to 12 months, it's been. And then you'll be like, I don't know what to do, player. I don't know. How do they make bread with no wheat? How do they make bread with no wheat? How do they make bread no wheaty? How do they make bread no wheaty? How do they make bread no wheaty? Do you want to see what the world is really like?

Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to add in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters, December 15th. I mean, obviously that wouldn't help the planet. Oh, I guess it would.

Yes it would. Well, you get the population down. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So give the guys who can't have beef, the sex, right? Sex or beef? Oh, that okay, this is clever. Yeah, so there's some beefs and prawns. So it's a bit like why go out for hamburger

when you can't have steak at home? Exactly, exactly. Exactly. So you've got to go veggie for a year. Pesky, maybe. Okay. You can be pesky but sexy. Pesky but sexy, yeah.

Okay. That would be the kind of, and then I'm sure I can't, you'd be able to do something with that. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Peasant. Not hey, we're figuring it out guys. Have we just saved the planet? I think we've just saved the planet. I knew it was always gonna be us. But obviously, we all know the real problem is, you know, we're not doing this country, but it's China guys. That's the problem, we can't,

we can't account for China, everyone. I mean, that's the problem's getting everyone to agree to it. Because there haven't enough trouble on the cutting the carbon front. Imagine them at the big, those big, climate summits. The G, the G8s. Imagine trying to get them all round the table on cascading at sexy. But if we rock up to the podium, you know, say, guys, you've got this proposal. Here's a picture of Stuart Road.

Now you don't know Stuart Road now, but you're gonna know all about it because it's the Stuart Road project. These guys are fucking, but they're not eating ham sandwiches. Okay. I can see a few of you, I've seen a few people here. Stay in the seats, stay in the seats. Orland's egg is beef but no sex.

Guys, why are you walking out? But fishin', you can! Come back! Nuclear fishin'. That's tomorrow's meeting. I think it'd be quite interesting to see. It certainly provoked a lot of blogs. I'll say that.

LAUGHTER That's what we've been saying. How giving up beef made me a horn, he has hell. What can I do about it? I mean, you guys want me to do loads about it, but I've also thought you know what it is. That's sort of funny. It's a good, it's a good block. I'm not gonna lie to a block, I'm excited to read. Adrian Charles has outdone himself once again.

Oh, Charles did have a fatal day. My god. So I'm allowed to fuck this hamburger or what? These rules are too confusing. I thought I couldn't have two points without putting my knob in a burger. And here I am with a bass. And here I am with a bass. And here I am with a bass.

But it does feel like this is the kind of creative thinking that isn't existing at the moment around saving the old planet. I was thinking this the other day. I was watching a clip of somebody being quite evasive about what their think tank or who funds their think tank. I'm not going to tell you. You kept on trying to ask me, but I won't give that up. You said it was been evasive, I'm just,

I'm just not gonna tell you, it's my thing, tank. It's not being evasive, it's just telling me to fuck off. I think, I love it. It's my thing, tank, it's me and Clarky, and no one's funding us. We do it for free. LAUGHTER Well, do you think we could have...

No, that's the problem with it. LAUGHTER We mostly tank. Do you tank? Get a lot of tanky. LAUGHTER A lot of tanky, actually. No, that's the problem with it. We mostly tank. Do you tank? It's a lot of tanky. A lot of tanky, actually. Just a big group tank.

Which is really... I'm suspicious of group tank. That sounds suspicious. That group tank to me. Could you think we could offer our services? Play a few of these pods to a think tank and see if they need someone to think a little bit sort of, you know, a little bit out outside of the usual sphere, yeah.

I would love cards on the table. I think I'm born to think tank. You'd be great in a think tank. I think you'd be really fantastic in a think tank. I'd love to do it, but I think what I could do with is like a brief explanation as to what one is. Well, here's the thing, I don't really, I've got an idea in my head of what it is.

I don't really know. No. That's it, I can cure. We can iron these details out when we actually get to the think tank itself, right? You can overthink these tanks. You can. It's a thing.

It's a thing. It's a tank. We're probably not far off the think tank. I feel like it's a kind of, it's like a round table. That's what I imagine. It's like a round table discussion of's what I imagine, it's like a round table discussion of people who say, well look, where do we need to put our money, put our efforts, what

do we need to advise the government, what do we need to advise the government on what they should be doing that's best for our backers outlook. I think there's not a million miles away from like, think tanks and lobbyists, I sort of see as the same kind of slightly, slightly nefarious sort of thing, you know. Do we wear robes? I don't know if it quite goes into the kind of

Masonic large eyes wide shut speed fucking type thing. But without roads to the mask, is it like the Traders? I think Tank's, think Tank's tears away from that. Lobbyists sound a bit more cloaked and dagger to me. Yeah, lobbyists are definitely like, you give us a bit of money, we'll make sure that this bill gets sort of pushed through

that helps your business. That's kind of what lobbyists are. But I think the think tanks are the people who think about the things that they, you know, think about the areas of business that they should be dealing with in Parliament, let the lobbyist get on wheels, let the lobbyist get their hands dirty. Listen, all I'm doing is thinking, is that like you say, there's no crime against thinking, is there? Not yet, anyway.

Well, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Good for me meeting guys. It feels like we'll get, you know, laminated passes. You know the thing, at the very least, yeah. You wanna land yard for a think tank? I'd say think tank as well is nobody's only job, right?

Maybe. I'd say it's one of several jobs you have. Okay, well that's a problem. We'll find you some other jobs you have. Oh, okay. Well, that's a problem. We'll find you some other jobs cocky, don't worry. Okay, I'm sure you're actually doing the think tank. Other jobs just fall into your lap. But I think it shouldn't be a thing, you know, I don't, I think it'll be one of those things where they go, oh, he's a part of this think tank, but he did, you know, 14 contact

hours this calendar year, you know, like he wasn't actually there that often Every now and then he sends an email or whatever. That's how I that's how I think of a that's how I think of a think tank I think it's I think it could be really good for us And you know when we do get together. I think we'd be the kind of people who shut you know show up every day But when we do get together we we always come with great ideas with great ideas. Can I tell you my latest one? Yes please. We start a reggae night where people speak in between songs and we call it Thinks Gang. Peter Gagdard.

We're like the cool boys of the think tank world. If any three men were going to start a reggae night, it should be up, Tom. I'd bring some of those plants that he likes to grow, you know what I mean? I'll bring some of the tunes that I like to buy and something they bring to think scank territory. Crossbeat bring up and for the flies. Yes, I'll be there in into thinks, gank territory, cross me, bring up the hand for the flyers. Yes, I'll be there in the corner, gatching flyers. Why'd you figure that out?

It's not bad actually. You know, I know I shot it down, but that's classic think tank stuff, isn't it? Initially. Yeah, absolutely. I don't think any idea should, but if an idea is roundly accepted immediately, you have to get, you know, you don't, you don't have second thoughts about that idea, right? If everyone idea is roundly accepted immediately, you have to get, you

have second thoughts about that idea, right? If everyone's like, yeah, yeah, sounds like a great idea. You'd be like, oh, right. I want a life, you want to get a little think tank thrives. It lives on pushback, right? It has to have pushback. And that's what you need. You know, it needs to have a little, it needs to have a dissenting voice and that's what you provided against, um, thanks gang there. You're welcome, thanks gang, but you know what, eventually you came back around to it. That's it. How's BZ?

Can I have a lift, a living long need? How's BZ? Do we know who we're thinking for? Oh, are they for hire? John and me, like, can we hire a think tank? Well, no, I think, could we be a freelance think tank? I think that's what it should be. We should be a freelance think tank.

The people need us, we would show up, you know, we come in and we'd have a chat with the people who need a think tank and say, look, what do you need us to think about? We'll go away if you've got a boardroom or something. We'll go away and sit in that room for a couple of days. You pay us several grand. What's the difference between a think tank and a brain trust? Whoa, I don't know. I don't know. What do you think of when you think of a brain trust? I think about a think tank, I think.

brain trust. I think of that I think, don't I think. And what do you think of a think tank? What do you think when you're thinking of a thing? Brain trust, a cause. Well, I think of a brain trust, I think of advisors, a group of advisors that are throwing shit sick around the table. A lot of this involves tables. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's fair play actually. Although maybe we're, you know, not on the thinks gank. No, that's a good point. We've got a, we

know, a dance floor. There might be cap race eating around the sides. Mm-hmm. I've heard the problem is, you offer cabaret seating and everyone just sits down. You've got to get up on the top floor. Not with the tunes that Paris bought. No way. But also, you want to be walking into that think tank on day one and going, guys, flip the tables. Oh, yes, like the cool teacher.

Let's push those tables to the side here. This is a 1984 guys. Okay, you're talking about the book or the game. We've got you out of that pool center. You know, let's push those tables to the side. This isn't Room 101. Throw your books in your bag and take them home with you. Yeah.

That sentence started a lot more rebellious than it ended. Yeah, well, I don't know why it's good to have. Clean up half of your cells, you know. That sentence started a lot more rebellious than it ended. I don't know, I don't know why it's good to have details. You know? I think anything that involves the defacing of books moves away from think tank and more into kind of like sort of fascist group, right? Right. If it's through your books in a bin,

you only one step away from, and then set the line. Like the bin. Yeah, like the bin guys. Come on baby, like my bin. I think, as opposed to think scan, which is like my blunt, maybe. Oh!

Oh! Don't go like my bin. Like my bifter. Okay, we've got to be kind of slogan. Don't rip up your books unless you're making roaches. Tom, can I ask you, is that where you get all your crazy ideas from for this thing? Okay, just smoking the sense of milieu. Tom, can I ask you, is that where you get all your crazy ideas from for this thing? Okay, just smoking the sense of milieu. I feel very, I mean like there are local meetings happening

in my area about traffic calming measures, which I know. We've talked about this, you mentioned. Yes, you have, yeah. But now it's moving into like impromptu meetings in church halls and shit like that. And in passion debates, people losing their shit. And I'm very tempted to slide on into a bit of local politics and just get in there and have a few words. And then that's how it happens. And then before you know it, you're in a brain trust. Do you have a take on these things? Or you just

wanting to get in on the action? It's take as he loves fucking Argy Bargy. That's his take. That's all the taking aids. It's getting amongst it. I'm gonna take, mate, I'll blow your mind. The drive between my house and my mother-in-law's house has doubled in length since the trapping calming measures have been brought in, doubled and I approve. BOO!

Yeah! Oh! Oh! Captain, I counted! I don't know if you want me to burn this book, I approve What we to burn this book but it's on fire right trust you just got think tank. Bye I'm a think tank boy I mean that's how it happens Suddenly I'm blowing everyone's minds. With some, with some, let's Dawson material. The 1972.

I've got a hang on. Oh yeah. See no. He reads like a mother in law joke. Yeah. Okay. It does, it very much reads like a mother in law joke. Okay, I'll come up stuck.

Okay, I'll come up stuck there okay, I'll come up stuck. It's not a, yeah, okay, okay. I think it wouldn't, it wouldn't matter if Les Dorsen started playing reggae on the piano afterwards. It would still be a mother in your joke. This thing, don't, just became a writing room. Mimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimim I think the second you make it a family member, people think that you want to take a long time to get there or you can't be willing to go and see them I think you've got to make it something innocuous like the high streets, you know So so people aren't thinking oh, it's because he doesn't want to see them in the first place

Hmm What about if I say beloved friend Come on, okay, okay, well, we'll we'll imagine this in a moment. All right, let's go to the thing, Tom. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, Tom, I know you've got a lot you want to say on this. Okay, Tom, Tom, everybody, okay, we have a little bit of respect here when Tom's speaking. Okay, Tom has the floor. Thank you, everyone. Welcome, Bobbie. You all right, okay, listen, I've told you, I've told you, Adam and I, Pat, I have the authority to kick you out, okay?

Well, you have no authority here. Thank you, Stuart Road. Sorry. We had the same problem when we brought in pesky but sexy. You said it was big government. We want a big government, live next door to Ben now. Anyway, from the say, I live four minutes away from a beloved family friend. You're the boy! You're the boy!

You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy!

You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy! You're the boy. Walking on the beach is talking at the beach here, okay. All right, I think there's a good reason you got into politics, Tom. You're talking at the beach, guys.

You're walking on the beach, you're talking at the beach. Tom, Tom, how do you feel that went? Let's wait for the votes to come in. OK. So what are we voting on now? Whether we want to keep the traffic, keep the traffic coming. Keep the traffic coming, please. I love it, friends.

I got to work with you. Yeah, you're my lovely friend. I think the poll is, did you believe the beloved friend was my mother-in-law? That's the confusing question that's on the ballot. But the beloved friend is Tom's mother-in-law. OK. All right. We could make it multiple choice.

OK, go ahead and give me a question. Was the beloved friend, A, Tom's mother-in-law, B, the bass player in his reggae band, C, Stuart Road, the best barbequeer in town. It's very rare that the ballad is spoiled before anyone gets to write on it, but in this instance, I've got no idea how to put it. Tom, what was your point going to be? I don't use stopped halfway through after you got misty-eyed about your beloved friend.

And I know you're very close to your mother-in-law and you don't want to say a word against it. She's a lovely woman. Oh, so that I'm that powerful performer that I really need to imbue the sense of this friend being beloved, you know. You're moved by your own performance there, weren't you? Once again. Once again. It's why I don't listen back to the part yeah I always cry as well yeah well I agree okay well he's got one one vote at least I just feel like I'd like to get in there and see, you want to see like, oh, is there something going on here?

I could say something here. You want to see who you're up against and go, I wonder if I could say something here. Yeah, I guess you don't know, you're getting the room and be like, oh, I've done like him. I'm gonna say something against him. And away you go. I think that's it, yeah.

So each week you go along, you just sort of get the lay of the land. And it becomes almost the, you know, the moment in the town meeting, when everyone goes, oh, here he comes. Tom's gonna say something. And it's really gonna put the cat amongst the pigeons. You know, what happens is the sort of the timidance

like your rang guy who has to corral everybody together and make sure the meeting runs smoothly, we go, well, I think that's everything. If we're ready to vote and you will bang your staff on the floor of the town hall like three times, you know, you'll have a cowboy hat on us, you know, some sort of like, some sort of peak-hocking affectation. You know, some sort of thing. You know, you'll use the staff to push the, the, the, the 10-gun-and-hat up your head a little bit, you know, just, and then you'll say, if I could

say a few words and they'll be like, oh, hash murmurings. And then you would stroll up to the lectern and you would whack the lyrical about your beloved friend. I feel like, I feel like you can actually, you could make something of yourself. You could become a local hero, pillar of the community, a pillar of the community. Thin line between local hero and local character. Oh, that's true.

Oh, that's true, but it's a line I think you can tread. I think it's, you know, it's a tight rope, you can walk. I don't think you've got enough characters to be a local character. Thank you. No, no, I genuinely, I think you've got- I know the local enough. You're all four characters. I mean, you're famously, we would never good at doing characters.

I'm not a local. You're all four characters. I mean, you're famously, we would never good at doing characters. I mean, you're famously, we would never good at doing characters. I mean, you're famously, we would never good at doing characters. I mean, you're I think you've got... I know the local enough. You know the local character. I mean, you're famously, we would never get it in characters. It just be like ordinary man with slightly lower voice. I have to commute for 15 minutes to the place where I'm trying to be a local character. I thought I knew it, and I'm done. No one's heard us do it road, it's miles away. He is a non-local character, you can't trust that guy.

Just travelling from county to county, looking for beef that I can get involved in. Have you been to any of these meetings already? Have you sat back? No, no, they were two last weekend, I'm just too busy boringly enough to go, but I dip into the Facebook and I make comments on the Facebook. It's just observing. You're a lurker. You're a lurker on the Facebook, biding your time. Oh, no, no. Yeah.

Oh, and then I go out at night and smash at the ballads. So, there's that. I don't know. Yeah. Oh, and then I go out and not smash at the ballads. So I just start. Well, that's what you busy doing, isn't it? Small vigilante group. I'm too busy. I'm waiting for everyone to be in the same town hall. And then I can smash the ballads. Two at Rhodes go out.

You can tell people's cars at the cup. Burn a few planters. Yeah. Tell you what. Tell you what. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But not into a meeting yet. My name is B, because it's doubled the length of my journey to a moment of it friends house journey.

If I go to the meeting to tell people that I'll start being the suspect number one. I keep being dumb. I live in a house made of iron sheet. House meeting. There you go. There you go folks. Yes, I think, you know, I think it might be time to rename Papi's flat share house meeting to Papi's flat share think tank.

I like it actually. Because it works, doesn't it? It really does work for what we're trying to do. If anyone knows what I think Tank is, do get in touch. If you're a listener dear who works for a think tank, get in touch. Have you ever been in a in a brain trust? Yes. Do you know what a slush fund is? Get in touch! Get in touch! That's it. I mean, and just if you are, you know anyone who is.

Just play in this website, I'm sure. They'll sign us up in a second. Okay. Lovely. Well, today's episode does produce by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Corsham team. Corsham team.

Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Go ahead, Shanty! Cheers everyone! Bye! and love that. Poor things. In select theaters December 15th.