Pappy's Flatshare - Series 7, Episode 2 (Clear Out The Attic)
Episode Date: June 1, 2017Roisin Conaty and Joel Dommett are Pappy's house guests in a show that features high singing, confusing listing, one testicle and Matthew having a breakdown.And, as you'll hear in the podcast, we've n...ow set up the means for listeners to bung us a few quid if they enjoy this episode and the many others we've spewed out in the past - you can find out more about that here: www.comedy.co.uk/pfs/donateOf course, your help spreading the word about this episode and the show in general is also hugely valuable to us - thanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for...
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Poor things.
It's like theaters for December 15th.
Tom Bay!
What is it, myself?
Yeah, what is it, buddy?
Well, listen, before we start this episode of FlatShare Slam Down, we've got a bit of a problem.
We need to pay the bills.
Oh, that calls for a flatshare.
No, no, we can't solve it with a flatshare
Slam Down this time.
What?
This is really, really important, listen,
we've been doing this podcast for six years
and we've never once paid ourselves.
Every month we're gonna be giving you
a brand new episode of FlatShare Slam Down,
all the way up until Christmas, Series 7,
we'd like you to maybe give us a donation.
Absolutely, listen a dear, if you enjoy listening to the podcast,
then please follow the links that will be on our Twitter account,
our Facebook page, and on the British comedy guide,
and give us a one-off donation,
reflecting how much you enjoy the podcast.
Long-term fans, you've been listening to us for six years,
completely free, so if you've enjoyed yourself over those six years,
why not show us in your donation?
That'd be great. Thanks very much.
I'll enjoy the episode.
Yay!
Ladies and gentlemen, hello everybody.
Welcome to Flat Share's Landown.
Give us a cheer if you've been before.
Yay!
It's exciting.
Give it to you at your first time here.
No way!
Bloody hell.
Give us a cheer if you listen to the podcast.
Yay!
Give us a cheer if you don't know what the podcast is.
Why are you here?
It's a good question.
So regular listeners will know we start with a sketch.
So we're going to do that live for you right now.
We haven't talked about it now or worked out what it is,
but let's go for it.
Tom Ben!
What is it, Matthew?
What is it, Matthew?
Wow. Tom, I think someone it Matthew? What is it Matthew?
Wow. Tom I think someone is trying to encroach
from your territory of pronouncing my name in a funny way.
What are you talking about Matthew?
Like that very much. Now listen, we've got to clear out the attic and one of YouTube
bastards have got to be the one to do it.
It's not going to be me, I've been lost behind too many times.
Oh, Jesus Christ the Barclough.
Not bad.
Lucky.
And it's not going to be me either.
Well, there's only one in this episode.
Well, well, well.
We're going to have to have a Flash!
Yes, I know!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yay! Yeah! Hello and welcome to FlatShest Lampdown, the panel show that says,
Yo, I heard the rain's tombset nothing to mess with, but I can feel a drip on the strip.
Ladies, half dressed, fully equipped to name you screaming out, Matthew, we loved your last
hit, so I think I'm going to have me something hot in this salsa meringue game melting pot.
Hot is caught by the city and it's right on the beach.
Temperature to get you about to reach 500 degrees in the Caribbean seas or the hot mammoth
screaming, I papis.
Every time I come to town, they just spot in me in the drop top belly, it's top in me.
So cashing you Joe and flow into this fashion show, pound for pound, anywhere you go.
You have eight no city in the world like this and if you ask how I know, I got up is
the fifth.
Putty in the city when the heat is on, oh no, it's on the beach till the break it on.
Welcome to my attic when the heat is on, on the night on the beach to the breakadone, welcome to my attic when the vigor's on the attic.
Bad to get in the club when the heat is on,
all night on the beach to the breakadone,
I'm going to my attic, please don't come into my attic.
I'm the host and I'm the Matthew Cosby.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
And while they're literally right under my roof,
they're me falling my roof,
let's meet the ten, Thomas Perry, and Benedict Clark.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, wow.
Tommy, you almost did yourself a mischief there,
like over-brapping from the club.
Did you?
You over-brap to your mischief?
You're not up along.
No, no, no.
Well, give your chance to recover our chat to Ben first.
Ben, why do you remain static when I ask you
to clear out that attic?
Well, Brix-Bab memory is actually good.
Oh, no, this is a really strange thing.
As you all know, I used to share a flat
with a singer songwriter.
Yes.
And I was suspecting she was using things
I was saying in her lyrics.
So I ventured, I was like, you know what?
Let's cut our losses here.
Let's, I think she'll move out.
She's like, fine, I'm going on tour anyway.
Do you mind just holding on to all my stuff?
And I said, fiance, to the loft, to the loft, everything you own in a box, to the loft.
I've literally been in business there, starting this day.
I've got to call that a reluctant clasp.
I think...
LAUGHTER
I enjoyed that very much.
It was every bit as a street and funky as my Will Smith rapper.
LAUGHTER
Yeah.
Tom, why are you lost the words?
Oh, well.
I'm not going to clean out the attic,
because I had a terrible time.
Last time I went up to my attic, it happened to me.
I was just bought a house, I went up to the loft, right?
And I tried to move one of the roof tiles.
And what fell down was a CD.
When I played that CD, every track on that CD,
ten times it was the only way is up by the plastic population.
The whole roof I discovered was packed full of those CDs and in the end for health reasons
I had to get the roof completely removed because the roof was packed full of Yazbestos.
Yes, Yazbestos.
Yazbestos.
Yazbestos.
Yazbestos.
Marry me.
Yeah, I...
Yeah, I was best of...
I feel so conflicted about that,
because on the one side, I really, really hated it,
and the other, I'm just furious.
So...
But of course, you know what's been left with a creepy attic all on their roads.
So who have you brought along to help you this time?
Tom, talk us through who you brought. Well, brought well Matthew bad news the jamborees in danger
No, yes the highlight of every week the karaoke evening. We lost our lead karaoke singer
So our karaoke works
You've clearly never beat some of jamborees
We're do not worry. I fell back on the biggest karaoke queen I know.
She's high-functioning.
She's wonderful.
Please welcome Rishi Kwanatee!
Cheers!
APPLAUSE
I love the fact halfway through that introduction you found out
as about yourself.
Who knew?
How are you doing, Rishi? Thanks for coming.
Really? Well, I'm really glad you think I'm the karaoke queen.
You're not really a karaoke queen.
Oh, okay.
Do us a favour and belt us out a few of your classics.
Have you got a favour, karaoke song?
All of them.
Can't you rest it not really?
No.
I once went to the karaoke on my own.
We're the...
Wait, wait, wait.
With my best friend.
You're on your own with that.
You're on your! Oh my god!
She can't do that.
Do you think you're alone right now?
I've got for a break!
I'm always on my own.
No, I went to karaoke after a break up and then my best friend came to join me
because she didn't want it to seem like a breakdown.
So she sent it out with me.
We didn't address the matter in hand.
Do you have an attic?
Yes.
Get ready for my absolute brilliant anecdote.
Or an antique dose, if you will.
Oh, hello.
No, no, no, no, clearly not.
I rent and basically my attic is just a TV graveyard
of every you turn and who's ever lived there.
So there's like 40 TVs going back to the 60s.
So do you have a good horror film if you were up on day cleaning the attic
and one of the tellies came on and it was footage of you don't
step not bad right? There was definitely intake of breath there. But you on your own
with all your mates around. And then one by one all the tellies come on and it's all
the times you've taken a dump in the flowers. That's, whoa. That's such potential, Tom. Yeah. That's got real third-act problems.
LAUGHTER
Thank you for coming on the show, Rishine.
It's love it to have you here. Ben, who have you brought along with you?
I've brought along my personal trainer.
It's John Thomas!
John Thomas!
APPLAUSE
John, well, thank you for coming on the show.
It's love it to have you here. It's a pleasure to be here.
You actually, not entirely, but you're almost technically flatmates with Tom,
aren't you?
Yes, yeah, you stayed in my house while I was away.
You were my landlord.
Oh, I was very excited because Joel couldn't tell anyone,
but he said to me, I'm going away to do some filming.
You can stay in my house while I'm away.
And he couldn't say that he was going to be on I'm a celebrity,
get me out of here.
So I found out in the news, whilst I was living in Joel's flat.
And he lived in this really nice flat
with a mezzanine bedroom.
And I got to live this gorgeous luxury lifestyle
and watch you eating bugs and living under a tree.
And it was like, I've stolen this man's life.
And then I'd wear your clothes.
Tom didn't keep ten on the interview,
so he had a great time.
Yeah. It was like such a weird thing watching you go through things So I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just Stranger things comes on. Why would you say it in that voice? I had no idea that my TV did that. Oh it does. It does. So if Rashim was kidding out of Traskin
She was like show me me take it good done. But then all the pennies come on. I'm so sorry
Don't know what I've got to do. Take it a done fine fine. We all do it
We're all human
Perfect anyway, yes, I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws.
I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws.
I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws.
I look for jaws. I mean, just tombs, it's four or five days. Well, I was there all my own, and by that I mean, but she's best friend with me. LAUGHTER
What kind of a flat mate of you, Joel?
You're a good flat mate, though.
I live solidly alone.
So, yeah, I don't really know what I'm like
as a flat mate, really.
A lot of shoes.
A lot of shoes, too many of anything.
How many shoes?
A wardrobe full of shoes.
And then the overspill.
As well, I've got an overspill on the left.
You still don't have shoes?
LAUGHTER If she'd done rather tight, I would wonder if they... as well I've got an over spill on the left you still do not choose
rather tight
so how many shoes do you reckon you got? I don't know probably I'm gonna say
it's just a funny question
by the way I would ever the number is half it and that's how many pairs you've got
I'm gonna say 150. I know.
You mean 50 pairs of shoes?
Yeah.
That's not much.
I'm just filling a lot of empty space of friendship.
This is how good a host Joel is.
Just for you guys to say, help yourself to my shoes.
Like you said, you can wear any shoes you want.
And I said, I'm size 12, he said, I'm size 9.
No, size 6 and a half.
I know, I can fit to he-, I'm size 9. No, I'm size 6 and a half. I'm size 6 and a half.
He's size 6 and a half.
No, I can fit to healy's.
You know how exciting that is.
Ooh!
So listen, we have met Archive Testers,
but which team is going all the way to the top of the house
when they lose?
Let's find out as we play.
Yeah.
Let's find out as we play round one.
BEEP
LAUGHTER
Here we go. BEEP Going up to my loft, get in some men's time, pop in my loft, tell a new man, there's no
time is lost, at it in the attic, then pop in my loft, when I need some time on my own,
I head right up to the top of my home.
No one else here to wine or moan, and up in the roof there's considerable number
phone.
This is my men's cave, the roof's all the old private eyes that I've saved.
Got a side photo of Chess and David in the corner
is a space where I want to put a lane.
What?
Going up to my loft.
Getting some men's time up in my loft.
Telling you, man, then, no time is lost.
Atting the attic fam up in my loft.
Up here on my own crib, check on the progress
of my home room.
Look at some pictures of my loft.
I drew a watchin' legal download of John Wicktoon
Got an old PlayStation
Nice and warm because of the insulation
Just got to watch where I'm trading
If I stand up too fast then I might pay my head in
Going up to the lot
Getting some men time up in my lot
Telling you men's damn no time is lost
Attacking the attic fan up in my lot
I'm going up to my lot
Getting some men time up in my loft, I'm going up to my loft, getting some bedtime up in my loft.
No time is lost when you're acting in the attic bell,
up in my loft.
Oh my goodness.
Now a lot of people who've never been to see the show
recorded live before don't realize that we play those in live.
And yeah, we don't know what to do during that bit either.
Really awkward. That's how we do it.
So in a half, me and Clarky, that was...
Yeah.
Just for that.
I hit in a half of torture.
LAUGHTER
I liked it. I liked it.
I liked it. Yes, good.
And the lady there liked it. She did some face dancing. I was into it.
What kind of face dancing... Oh, I see. Yeah.
How did you describe that? So what Roshini is doing is she's sort of scrunching up her face
Scrunching
It's called a power
Scrunching at me
Yeah, all right, she's powering up her face into a little scrunch
Notting ahead There we go.
Scrunching.
This time round one is called a lofty conversions.
In it each contest is going to sing a well-known song about something high up.
However, the twist is that their lofty song is undergone a conversion,
using Google Translate, into a language from a country which contains
one of the four highest peaks in Europe.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's around, we're describing as unnecessarily complicated.
Wow, this is quite a concept.
So there's a song about something high.
I've been through to explain the rules there are still four.
The teammate has to guess not only the song but also the
language in which it's being sung. So I'll be giving scores for I know. Can you believe
it? I love this, I will be giving high scores for correct answers and also sawing performances.
Ben you're up first there you go. That is your song Joel and you should tell me the
name of the song and the language which Ben is murdering. I can't do it, I can't.
Off you go.
Remember to song about something higher.
OK.
Imagine a view don't know but don't certain either.
Avectan geriste on sema milleids.
Coco l'v'a l'opére.
It definitely says a concomand there, mate.
I know you. I know you're a little bit old.
I know you've been doing your lyrics.
Who in feel you glide the school?
Hey mate.
I think I think I'll give it a try.
I was telling a cell of Phil,
oh, damn, they're a little servant.
Oh, I've got a guy.
I can't, yeah.
Yeah.
Lucy, don'ts, mate.
Don'ts, mate. Joel, do you have any idea firstly? Firstly, can... LUCY DONGS LYNCH! DONGS LYNCH!
I'm gonna go with...
Joel, do you have any idea firstly?
Firstly, what were all doing?
Firstly, what was the language?
I think I'm going with French
off-fonte.
And what was the song?
Was it The Beatles?
Yes.
With that one, that goes...
Was it the Beatles? Yes.
With that one that goes.
Ah.
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
I do.
I do.
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this?
Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Oh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, on top of an else being thick. But what? How did you not beatles?
It's not, it's about EET, LES, right?
And beetles is a pun on like, they're a beat combo.
Yeah, because arguably the beetles are bigger than beetles.
No!
Yes!
Yeah, bigger than beetles.
Bigger than beetles.
You know, so the beetles, I knew the beetles before I knew beetles.
Is there anyone here?
Is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is, is this, is this, is Is there anyone here? Is there... Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here?
Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? You've made it too shame. Yeah, that's true. All right, I'll tell you what, lights up. LAUGHTER
Can we buzz in with Lucy in the Sky Diamonds?
I'm actually absolutely right, half of us.
I'll tell you that.
He was absolutely not just about to say that, but it was.
So I'm going to give you a point and a half there
because you've got the language and you've got the band.
And I'm going to give a point to Tom and Roshine there
because you've got to the rest of it.
I think we're going to go with Roshine.
Next, Roshine there is yours, OK? Wow. Yeah, right. We have the rest of it. I think we're gonna go with Rasheen next. Rasheen there is yours, okay?
Wow.
Yeah, right, we have a lot of fun.
I mean...
Just imagine you're on your own.
Was it imagined by the Beatles?
Yeah, no, it wasn't.
No, it was a...
John Lennon was a solo song, Jesus Christ.
Is that spelled J-E-L?
Oh, it's so cool.
Rasheen in your own sweet time.
Ha! Ha!
Have you started?
That's...
V is the Isch not you to to.
On the bench,
Koyarata,
Deletfes,
On Pollen.
Nicknakode!
LAUGHTER Err... Nicknakodis...
Nicknakodis, someone that can make her...
There's the corrod TV no-glennid blood when you... Oh...
Nicknakodis, it's a polar to me...
Nicknakodis, it's like the Lee... Okay, I don't think it I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know think I've got it. You must have it.
I think it's flying without wings.
Oh, absolutely right, it was flying without wings.
Can you guess why it's that way?
It is by Westive, I thought.
It is Irish.
That was Gaelic.
Is the idea of the language?
I'm going to go Swedish.
I'm afraid Sweden knots higher than the Irish knots.
I'm going to go Swedish.
I'm going to go Swedish. I'm going to go Swedish. It is by West-I, for the first time. It is Irish. That was gale.
Is the idea of the language?
I'm going to go Swedish.
I'm afraid I'm not Sweden's highest Russia.
It was in fact Russia.
Oh, go Irish.
I didn't think Russia's in Europe.
So, I've got to give him two points.
Yeah, Russia was, of course, singing...
Flying with that wings by West-I,
and she was singing in Russian in honor of Mount Elbrus,
which is Europe's highest peak.
Fudder fun.
Now, it's...
Next up is Joel Ben.
Get ready to listen.
That is your song, their Joel, and do your worst off you go.
Oh, yeah, I love this song.
Erm, I can't remember how it goes though.
Yes!
Ben, any guesses?
Ben, now I'm looking for the language,
and I'm looking for the title and artist.
Guys, erm, just do the chorus. Now I'm looking for the language and I'm looking for the title and artist.
Guys, just do that guys.
I'm going to tell me that guys.
I'm literally still sweating from that audio.
You look fantastic, your face is perfectly scrunched.
Oh, Joey, you had enough thinking time.
Off you go. Yeah. I said it goes as see
the
picture thank you mr. Dommott
good it's all fly away
I'll fly
can I go see you
hold tight hold tight
I'll fly away
so yes I'll fly away
I'll fly away
you said I'll fly away
You know everything apart from the title Like a bird
Oh yes, I'm gonna give you that time like a bird
Who sang it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Saddeck on the bench. Italian?
Yes.
Let's see if you can still.
Do you know who the artist is, don't you?
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Nellie Pettarda.
Sweet Nellie Pettarda, obviously you're right.
Biggest she is, she's got in years.
And what do you think?
Turkey.
It was Turkey, bloody hell.
What?
CHEERING
That was exciting moment!
Every bit up until you took your shirt off was, yeah.
Look at that idea!
So that was 2.5 hands like that.
You thought that was like a turner Tom.
Adiac, kid of mud.
Adiac, kid of mud.
Ickach, I'm ill!
Kid of mud. Record sex machine. Kid of mud. Adiac, kid of mud And Jack Kid of mud I can't do it! Kid of mud
Record sex machine
Kid of mud
And Jack
Kid of mud
And Jack
Kid of mud
And Jack
I'm back
Kid of mud
Record sex machine
Kid of mud Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Shed to calm, Shed to go on and sit.
Nick, come up soon, six machine.
Shed to dunk, go to my gym chat.
Reconceive of that?
Meek, meek, meek.
A dick, could have met.
A dick, a bit.
Could you have met?
How dick, could have met?
Ha!
You're watching the second-highest working man in show business, everybody.
Look at the babies on the mums' forehead. Jesus Christ.
So, Rishin, any idea what you think the song was, the artist and of course the language?
I know this song, Sex Machine, James Brown.
Yep.
I'll take the language.
Indian?
From you, aimlessly, you're wrong.
I'll take a dirac.
I was watching it.
No, we're watching earlier.
We have this trailer, you're wrong.
I'll pay how Beatles spelled in a minute.
It's a...
Yeah, so, Rashid, go for whatever language is on your mind.
Yeah, I'm going to say... On your mind for whatever language is on your mind. Yeah, I'm gonna say whatever language is on your mind
Right guys
This is shit glue. It's not a terrible clue if you also know the answer
Do another clue
Think about what country being on a rainy day
about what country you're being on a rainy day, a rainy day in this place, and it would be on your mind.
Well, you get to be like a train to.
Georgia!
Yeah!
There's actually a really famous song and then a slightly more obscure song and you pick
the slightly more obscure song.
Yeah, that was absolutely right, so I'm going to give it a three point and then I'm
going to give you guys a couple of points as well. Why not? Oh, so
So at the end of that round producer Ben, can you please tell us what the scores are?
John Ben, I've got five and a half. Tom and Rashine have got eight. Oh
So Rashine Tom, so we're in high end to the sky
There's still time for their wax winks to melt. So they're like Icarus crashing into the sea as we head into round two
Only ten more rounds to go guys.
Ten more rounds.
Oh no, we're doing bonus rounds this week.
Oh, 15 rounds.
15 rounds to runny.
It's round two of 15.
Hurrah!
Yay!
Let's play together.
Gaze.
Let's play forever.
Roll the dice.
Spin that thing.
Put that down.
To lose your toll.
Gaze. Just get loose, put that down. To lose your toll, game.
Just you lose, you get nothing.
Games, if you win, you get goals me crazy. People are going for it.
So this week we're playing our version.
You don't get that on Uncle?
That's a very good point you don't.
You don't do.
No, it's a very well written show.
This week we're playing our version of Ten Pin bowling, which we're calling 10 thing bowling.
That's wrong.
Thank you mate.
We'll wait to hear the 15 different rules we've written for it.
I'm going to leave each table topic and take it in turns.
They have to list 10 things within that topic as quickly as possible.
So you have a minute on the clock and I'll give you a point for every second left on that
clock once you've completed your list.
Okay?
So I'm going to adjudicate as to whether or not things are going to be allowed on the list
by using this bell or clear.
Good.
So do you want to set the rules?
No.
Okay, you don't.
Do you want to see laughing at the bell to hear the rules?
Basically, take it in turn.
I have Pavlov's Clown.
Here at Coddmator's what you are.
Listen, Err. I can't wait, it's what you are. This is... LAUGHTER
So, let's take that one more 4D, is it?
So, thank you.
That was quite impressive, was it? You're Schrodinger's Twat.
I'm both so funny and not funny at the same time.
So, Tom Rishi, you're going to go first. I want you to play 10 things trolling, give me a minute.
10 things you would see.
What are we speaking at the same time?
1-H, so you do 1-1 in Thomas' once at your time.
I'm actually as fast as possible.
So I want you to play 10 things trolling,
give me a list of 10 things you'd see
on a country walk as quickly as possible.
Rabbit's.
Petch.
Bushes. Whole. Roads. Foyle. possible. Rabbits. Petch.
Bushes.
Roads.
Sky.
Dogs.
Crops.
Men.
Traktor.
Women.
Farmriards.
It's walking six.
Blue sky.
Stomaches.
I'm unable to do the digging and count at the same time.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
So, a fatal flaw.
LAUGHTER OK, yeah, Ash, do you want to count?
You'll count, you'll time.
Maybe I'll just chat before we start the show, like, guys.
Do you want to see what the world is really like?
Yes.
Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for...
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Poor things.
It's like theaters, December 15th.
ACAS powers the world's best podcast.
Here's a show that we recommend.
Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history,
a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into
the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history.
This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination
of Abraham Lincoln.
We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure.
Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday,
wherever you get your podcast.
Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere.
Acast.com
We've never played it before. This is the first time for this game.
Last.
But, here we go.
What did they get there?
I think they did get ten, but I was panicking.
We got more than ten.
You can't get more than ten.
You lose more points.
So that would have been 42 points, but I'm sure you can beat that.
I'll pick a different thing. What? Oh, sure. So that would have been 42 points, but I'm sure you can beat that.
I'll pick a different thing.
What?
I'd say just...
You're going to play 10-thing-sholing.
10 things you'd find under the sea.
Fish.
Rock.
Seaweed.
Coral.
Waves.
Wails.
Most.
Shark.
Longfac. Longfac. Chip sea mouse. You're a log fan. Oh, log fan.
Chipwreck.
Crumb.
Or assault.
Recycling rubbish.
Shit.
Guys, guys, guys, sorry, sorry.
I can't wait until what they're saying ending at the same time, guys.
I literally wasn't listening to that.
I think I didn't see mouse.
I think you see mouse.
I think you see mouse, guys.
Seaweed four times times mouse three times
I can't listen and think of the same time. I honestly can't you don't know about these things to do you find out
No, I did it before how are you gonna do this?
I
Not got it in me I'm afraid, I'm so sorry.
I'm saying what we'll do it.
I'll do it.
Oh, no way.
You do this on me.
No, no, no, no, I've got to adjudicate.
I've just got to like, I gave you a right, I've got to like, okay.
I'll count the dings.
That's what you're missing out on.
Why don't you do the dings in post?
Okay.
Wait, okay, that's what it was.
So what does the ding represent?
Good question.
Let's go for the software.
Let's just focus on my inability to think,
listen and ding at the same time.
I want to think of another topic that a fold is be folding.
Folding.
Things to do with horses.
Folding.
OK.
Oh, I'm not saying that.
Things to do with horses, all right?
But we're calling it 10-com-folding, all right? But we're calling it 10-kilometer folding, all right?
Here we go.
Horsemice.
What?
What?
OK.
What?
Third time lucky on these things, all right?
Oh god, I'm sweating.
It's so stressful, guys.
OK, here we go.
Stressed for you.
Don't slow with that.
Don't slow with that.
With your more chitness, with the lightning.
OK, sure.
No, no.
All right, here we go.
Go.
Lightning, are you guys? I've restarted. You've got to start. No, he we go. Go.
Lightning, are you guys? I've just started.
You've got to start.
No, you've got to.
What?
Wait, can I just say, I never once said go before,
you just started to catch up.
So, is that leave added go to it?
Okay.
I'll say go, you start thinking you do it.
Here we go.
Right?
You guys, fuck you, enjoy yourselves!
Jesus!
Can I just say, guys, Can you just chill out a bit?
What's going on?
Not a bad vibe, just going for the audience right now.
Can't really know it! That's the time I heard!
Sure, the format needs a few tweaks.
Why?
I think you got to point this right first time.
No, they didn't!
The other one was panicky, just like I am right now.
Okay, here we go.
I'm going gonna say go.
And that will indicate, start of the minute.
Minute.
It's about horses.
I was saying go.
You ain't saying go, mate.
I'm saying go, then I'm digging, right?
Can't we clarify it's about horses?
Do it about horses.
Go. Go.
Oh, that's it.
LAUGHTER
It's an image of that.
You did it, but you did, all right?
Here we go, and that go is not the go for go, okay?
Three, two, one, go.
Saddle, jockey, hoops, tail, whisperer, jump.
Main fence, eyes, eyelashes, jumping, run, hedge, run,
grand national.
Yes!
Okay.
Next time, beat brothers, everyone.
Beat brothers, everybody. Big brothers is next.
This is an unplayable game.
Maybe they'll be playing with it.
They'll probably won't be as fast as us.
That's a good call.
Here we go.
You're about to get your digging out.
Anyway, 60 points.
So next up, we have Ben and Joel.
So, do you understand how the game is played?
Nope.
I literally haven't listened to last five minutes.
You like it?
You like it?
You like it?
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. LAUGHTER
So remember the ding represents my sort of increasing panic. LAUGHTER
You are going to be doing ten-thing-holing,
give me ten different types of hole.
Right.
OK.
Your minute starts...
Now, pot black...
Erm...
Erm...
Erm...
Stinky.
LAUGHTER
Vachayda.
Oh!
F**k!
B-A-B-A-B-T.
Um...
What?
Uh, glory.
Um...
In one.
Spy.
Spyhole.
Yeah, that was a very similar to Goliath.
Spy hole.
Come on, give me another one of the spy holes.
Sorry, so it's E-A-D.
It's a Beatles.
Okay.
A...
In the wall.
That's a spy hole. That's what a spy hole.
No, that's a bank
We didn't question eyelashes
We listen quietly why you said eyes for horses and by three times
But I've never seen I wish called like the point and that's a minute over
And that's a minute over. Yes!
They got nine at the end of the hour.
One of them is sticky.
And the minute of that, you tell me.
What's a sticky hole?
You said no, mate.
So, unfortunately, we get that round.
Tom and Rashid scored 60 points.
And Ben and Joel scored zero points.
So, unbelievable.
Hard to really go on, isn't it?
But we do.
So, producer Ben, what are the scores?
At the end of that round.
Well, Joel and Ben are in second place.
With five and a half.
Tom and Rachine have 68!
APPLAUSE
One off my favorite number
Can I suggest 70 points for beef brothers? Oh
No
What's beef brothers?
Well, you're about to pride out Rishina's, we play Beef Brothers!
If you have a problem, call me a problem, cause you have a problem calling a beef.
If you've got a beef, then maybe we can help you, Beef Brothers, sorting out your beef.
Yes, it's beef brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat shared
based beef, and today's one comes from Katie. Katie, are you there? Now this is Katie's problem.
My flatmate wanders around the house in just his pants. They are ill-fitting and a bollock
often comes out to say hello. Hello! I love him dearly but not so much I want to see his
nuts. Now I've left out one crucial detail here. Who is your flatmate Katie?
Er, he's my older brother. Your brother, okay!
So your brother wanders around in his house in Justice Pants.
So Tom and Roshine, you are on the side of Katie.
Ben and Joel, you are on the brother's name. You don't have to give the brother's name, but what is it?
Michael. Michael, how did he do it?
Absolutely, how did he do it? How did he throw him under the bus?
As you're on Michael's side. Sorry, can I just check what his surname is? Michael Ball. Absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, That's so happy the question ended that way. It's quite a small flat.
Small flat.
What do you do as jobs by seeing your brother?
I work in an opera house and he just accounting.
Which opera house do you work in?
I smell a sitcom.
The Coliseum.
Oh, it's beautiful.
I know.
What a gorgeous building.
And can you get discount tickets?
Sometimes.
Depending on who wins.
Yeah.
Sure.
Of course I'll.
Is your brother male?
Yeah.
What?
I'll try every day sexism.
All right.
Because again, there's a construct.
So, Rochini, have you got anything you'd like to ask Katie?
Have you ever said anything to your brother before about it?
Yeah, but then he just got really embarrassed and it just carried on happening, so I just left it.
I think I'm embarrassed.
What areas of the flat does this fake fight for?
All of your questions sound like it'd be dirty in the air.
Whereabouts is he parading around in his underpants?
It's the kitchen.
The kitchen!
Oh!
No further questions, Your Honor.
The kitchen.
Joel, any questions?
Bollock.
Can I ask, oh, I'm just making notes.
Can I just ask, are you cooking?
Can I, no, can I?
Oh!
What were you cooking?
Pasta.
Pasta!
How old is he?
He's 30.
30. God, damn it, gross, right?
A 30-year-old baller when you're cooking plaster.
Gross.
That is conjecture, Thomas.
That's how old is Pollock is.
Is it as old as he is?
And is it the same one that pops out?
Because if you know which side it's going to pop out on, just always go on the other side of it.
That's what I was going to say. Make him always get the other side of it. What are you going to say?
Make him stand.
Well, that's my argument.
Sorry.
Sorry, Clarke.
Sorry, General Matt.
That's hopefully enough information for our team to make their cases.
So without further ado, I am going to call upon Rochene Connity to begin the case for
the prosecution.
Now, you have one minute and I'll be dinging throughout.
So I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will
I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will
I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I And it's the only way for him to experience it. It's a learned empathy. I think it's totally an aside all making move out.
Am I doing this right?
I don't know if I'm a good lawyer.
I think you should definitely,
or have sex in front of him, up his game, up your game.
Do you smoke really, really, really dark?
And then he'll put his balls away.
I think it's awful to see your brothers, genitals.
Have I got a carry on talking?
Well, you've got 30 more seconds.
You've got to do that.
Jesus, I talk so fast. Here's what I'm saying carry on talking? Well, you've got 30 more seconds. She's that talk so fast.
Here's what we're...
What else?
Yeah, that's it.
I've got nothing else to say on the matter.
Case closed.
Okay, fantastic.
Rasheed Colourty, everybody.
Okay, sir.
For the prosecution,
I have sex in front of your brother.
You're standing by that?
Well, you did not full sex.
Just the same.
Just enough to make him aware of his consequences
of seeing things out of context.
You shouldn't see families' genitals.
It's awful.
OK, fair enough.
Jim, begin the case for the defense.
I call it now upon Joe Dommett.
So Joe, remember, you're on Michael's side.
Your minute begins now.
I'm on the side of Michael.
Good old Michael Ball.
Wonderful. It's an issue here of censorship and freedom.
People are trying to take away our freedom,
being able to cook while having a low hanging test of clay.
Now this is fine.
I pray thee, who doesn't love,
who doesn't love to just cook, just walls, just free,
with just a bit of a breeze on the left nut. That is a beautiful feeling. And I feel like
there's stut, if you just give people that little edge where they're like, oh, put some trousers on,
next you'll be like, don't cook at all, and then it's Brexit, and it's just me, guys, we're going that way.
Freedom, let us cook with whatever the fuck we want to cook in.
I don't want to do that,
anyone to tell me what to cook another things, please.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Joel Dominic, everybody, in case they're...
I'm sorry.
So firey rhetoric there from Joel Dominic, and we appreciate that very much. Katie, how do you think it's going so far?
I have full faith in my legal team. I'll go right to KT.
That's very welcome. That's very good to hear. Well, Tom Fuck you, Katie.
A jimsy on him. You are in contempt of court there, Mr Dommit.
Now to continue the case, if I conclude the case for the prosecution, I'm going to call up on Tom and Tom.
Are you going to be doing this as yourself?
No I'm gonna be doing it in the style of a deep-south defence lawyer from a John Grisham
novel. Oh yes. Mr. Fanshore Standard. Mr. Fanshore Standard.
Presiding and indeed providing your ministers now.
Ladies and gentlemen after jury.
Now ladies and gentlemen of the jury. We've heard a lot of big words then today.
Them dare fancy lawyers over there from the city with their fancy words.
Cooking.
Pesticoles.
Hell, I don't know no testicles.
He lived in this town, man and boy.
I said a lot of you, damn jewelry over there, hell I recognize someone,
you see you down the bakery.
We live.
And there's one thing we know in this town
and that they'll be family.
Hell I see you there best of me, house Cassandra.
Who led the men and find, sorry about that,
I was reversing too fast.
And we've all been there.
But you ain't ever a child.
You have to be a cool guy in the front.
Let's stick to the story.
I'll see you in a second.
I'll see you in a different trial that be going on.
He'll chisin' the ball there.
What's she doin'? I was drunk.
Yeah, can't be dealing with no dead child behind my car.
Now,
a lot of you dad be thinking about family
and that's why we know in this town family
blood be thinking the water
I said it been proved.
Hell of a boxing day.
Get to a damn dead book,
it's pull him down a tube.
Call it an afternoon. Get to a damn dare book, it's pull him down a tube.
Call it an afternoon.
Lost a lot of blood that day.
Can't remember the results.
Still finished turkey.
Merry Christmas.
Now you don't need no cousin to steal your hammer to tell you the trust ain't always
skin deep.
Now sometimes it'd be fried.
I lost a lot of blood.
I'm so sorry.
No further questions, y'all. No further questions, John.
No further questions, John.
Fans you're standing there presiding,
and indeed providing...
What about fans you're there?
Lot of backstory this time.
Not so helpful for Katie, but a lot of backstory.
So, Clarky, everything to play for,
you are concluding the case for the defence.
Your minute, if you need it.
You don't?
You don't?
OK.
Well, the next round, it doesn't exist.
Your minute, if you need it, begins now.
Look, guys, come on.
We live in a free society where we should be able to express ourselves physically. We shouldn't have judgment on what we look like or what any single part of us looks like.
And I know, for a lot of us, the Bulltack is the...
isn't a particularly nice-looking area.
How are you spelling Bulltack? Bull, B-E-L-E-A-T-L-E-S, you're brilliant.
And it's the part of us that ages, first, tends to be a lot more, you know, wrinkly,
two seconds.
And oh, don't block him up!
Hey!
Really?
Lovely conclusion.
Lovely conclusion.
Now, normally, I would be the one to make the decision,
but people do love referendums.
So let's leave this one open to the so-ho audience.
If you think Tom and Banshaw and therefore Katie
is in the right,
I'd like you to applaud now. They pretty healthy response there, but if you think Ben and Joel
made the best case and therefore Michael is in the right, applaud now. Katie, I'm so sorry the ballad lives to swing another day.
So a wise person once said, good things come to those who wait, well let's prove them wrong.
With the quick fire round.
It's the round that goes really quickly.
And this jingle should go quickly too.
So we can get on with the next round.
That's the idea.
And more than that, the quicker this jingle is,
The quicker we can all get on with our evenings
Clarkies got no doubt lots of things planned
Watch you got planned Clarkies
Oh, I thought I played FIFA 70
And as for me, well I guess I'll just keep moving.
I'll pack my bags and head on to another town.
I guess, I guess my work is done, you can't fence me in Oh, where you going, Tom?
I'm going to Plymouth
Oh, that's a bull choice
Yeah, when I get there
I'll pop down my bindle
I'll throw my hair back
And I'll say, hey, Plymouth, what's going on today, mate?
And then I'll buy myself a burger.
I'll whistle the tune and I'll shack up with some henchmen
I'll rob a bank and I'll kill the henchmen
Because you can't trust no one in this cave
Oh, I feel right
So there you go guys, potential is everywhere.
Let's finish this jingle and get on with living our dreams.
Clarke's got a pay fee for, and I'm planning a bank job in Plimpas.
And as for you, the audience, who knows?
Let's find out after the quick file.
Row.
Wow.
Wowie.
APPLAUSE
I mean, the big question is, did it ever happen?
Clarke, did you ever play FIFA?
Did you ever do it?
Yeah.
Great, good.
OK, well, of course, in the quick bar round, all the questions
will be attic based.
Now instead of buzzing.
Oh, don't tell anyone about Limbaugh.
It's the perfect time.
I killed two of my henchmen that worked with me for years.
Well, now it's time to move on.
Pack up my bags and head to another town. Maybe.
Crew.
And of course, in this quick far round all all the questions will be attic or loft based.
So instead of buzzers, if you think you have the right answer, shout out your first name.
So Tom and Rashine, let's hear that now.
Tom.
Rashine.
And Ben.
Joel.
Ben.
Joel.
Off we go.
Which Bristolian tripop pioneers are also a huge loft?
Loft-o boys.
The Loft-o boys, I'll give you a half a point.
It's, of course, massive attyic. Erm, what? give you a half a point. It's of course massive at tick.
Why is a facial twitch like a loft?
Twitch-O face. Twitch-O face, I believe, a half a point because you're the only person
currently still playing. But it's actually because it's a tick. Why is an attic?
Yeah, fuck you hate this guy. You should be in the audience.
Why is an attic like everyone's favourite book? Flowers in the attic.
Thomas, could he be half a point? Tom Mouse?
Attic capture in the rye.
It's a top story.
But I will give you Attic Atture in the Rye.
What sort of loft is obsessed with pop stars?
Loft don't love out. Tommas, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait't have a clutch? Tom, Tom, and what's the next thing you do?
Oh, Tom, what the heck?
Fuck!
Fuck!
What?
That's what you do?
That's what you do?
That's what you do?
That turns you Japanese.
That's what you do?
I already think so.
Um.
Who did that?
That's not what?
What did we do with this recording?
We can't put it out.
It's actually happening!
We're in this America, I swear to God.
Tom, I'm going to allow it.
So technically that's not how we play.
Wait, for Tom to start answering and then scream like you've had an electric
shock up your asshole.
But, uh...
asshole, that's another one.
Another hole.
There we go.
60 points.
Now, er...
We're back at it.
Which loft contains the three tenors?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That is now getting into very...
very uncultured territory.
For the listener at home, Joel has just committed Harry Carey.
Career wise.
What Bill Murray's got you had to movie was setting an attic.
Lost in translation, I think.
Lost in translation, I'm sorry.
Well, that is our quick far round. Lost in translation, I think. Lost in translation, I'm sorry. Lost in translation, I'm sorry.
Well, that is our quick far round.
APPLAUSE
There's just time for the plugs. Joel, have you had anything you would like to plug?
I have a monitor currently. I'm doing it in English and Japanese.
And, yeah, so, Joel Domit.com, if you're interested, mate.
Rushing, how about you? What you got going on? Not much.
LAUGHTER
Hang it out.
Rushing, come on, you're hiding your mat under a bus, you should make a...
I've made a sitcom.
So, pretty tired and today was meant to be like a chill evening,
but it's been like an exam.
LAUGHTER
It's been really a lot of thinking.
I don't like thinking.
Yeah, I just made a romantic one,
which will be out at some point if it's not dog shit.
So I think it's best.
Brilliant, yeah, that's it.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So, producer Ben, let's hear those final scores.
Well, with the extra 60 points, you gave Ben a jolt in that final round.
What?!
LAUGHTER
They said, they said arsehole.
LAUGHTER
So, they said arsehole, and then they repeated arsehole. So I said, I was 60 points, that already said ar said awesome. And they said asshole and then they repeated asshole.
So I said, I was 60 points, that already said asshole.
Let me, you don't get to asshole on the house.
Through your job!
And, well, with bullshit.
Bullshit!
With that 60 points, Tom and Ben have sixty seven and a half.
Rashid and Tom win with seventy three!
73 points!
You do a great job, Ben, you do a great job.
So Tom and Rashid are all winners, they get to beat out the...
Well, fuck it, doesn't matter what.
We've been panties, we'll see you next time on Flash, yes, lambda!
Happy Flash, yes, glad that we've got big bucks for Big Bang,
especially this, we've seen coaching Joel Novak, he was devised.
White panties have produced a better walker. Big thanks to everybody who came down to the recording
to actually help get out to our world, and we're going to be going to the toilet in May,
up to us. Happy Flash, yes, lambda, there's a first out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
A woman planting her course to freedom at a lot for her.
It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
I love that.
Four things.
It's like theaters December 15th.