Pappy's Flatshare - Series 7, Episode 2 (Clear Out The Attic)

Episode Date: June 1, 2017

Roisin Conaty and Joel Dommett are Pappy's house guests in a show that features high singing, confusing listing, one testicle and Matthew having a breakdown.And, as you'll hear in the podcast, we've n...ow set up the means for listeners to bung us a few quid if they enjoy this episode and the many others we've spewed out in the past - you can find out more about that here: www.comedy.co.uk/pfs/donateOf course, your help spreading the word about this episode and the show in general is also hugely valuable to us - thanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Tom Bay! What is it, myself? Yeah, what is it, buddy? Well, listen, before we start this episode of FlatShare Slam Down, we've got a bit of a problem. We need to pay the bills. Oh, that calls for a flatshare. No, no, we can't solve it with a flatshare Slam Down this time.
Starting point is 00:00:31 What? This is really, really important, listen, we've been doing this podcast for six years and we've never once paid ourselves. Every month we're gonna be giving you a brand new episode of FlatShare Slam Down, all the way up until Christmas, Series 7, we'd like you to maybe give us a donation.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Absolutely, listen a dear, if you enjoy listening to the podcast, then please follow the links that will be on our Twitter account, our Facebook page, and on the British comedy guide, and give us a one-off donation, reflecting how much you enjoy the podcast. Long-term fans, you've been listening to us for six years, completely free, so if you've enjoyed yourself over those six years, why not show us in your donation?
Starting point is 00:01:03 That'd be great. Thanks very much. I'll enjoy the episode. Yay! Ladies and gentlemen, hello everybody. Welcome to Flat Share's Landown. Give us a cheer if you've been before. Yay! It's exciting.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Give it to you at your first time here. No way! Bloody hell. Give us a cheer if you listen to the podcast. Yay! Give us a cheer if you don't know what the podcast is. Why are you here? It's a good question.
Starting point is 00:01:30 So regular listeners will know we start with a sketch. So we're going to do that live for you right now. We haven't talked about it now or worked out what it is, but let's go for it. Tom Ben! What is it, Matthew? What is it, Matthew? Wow. Tom, I think someone it Matthew? What is it Matthew?
Starting point is 00:01:45 Wow. Tom I think someone is trying to encroach from your territory of pronouncing my name in a funny way. What are you talking about Matthew? Like that very much. Now listen, we've got to clear out the attic and one of YouTube bastards have got to be the one to do it. It's not going to be me, I've been lost behind too many times. Oh, Jesus Christ the Barclough. Not bad.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Lucky. And it's not going to be me either. Well, there's only one in this episode. Well, well, well. We're going to have to have a Flash! Yes, I know! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Starting point is 00:02:22 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yay! Yeah! Hello and welcome to FlatShest Lampdown, the panel show that says, Yo, I heard the rain's tombset nothing to mess with, but I can feel a drip on the strip. Ladies, half dressed, fully equipped to name you screaming out, Matthew, we loved your last hit, so I think I'm going to have me something hot in this salsa meringue game melting pot. Hot is caught by the city and it's right on the beach. Temperature to get you about to reach 500 degrees in the Caribbean seas or the hot mammoth screaming, I papis.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Every time I come to town, they just spot in me in the drop top belly, it's top in me. So cashing you Joe and flow into this fashion show, pound for pound, anywhere you go. You have eight no city in the world like this and if you ask how I know, I got up is the fifth. Putty in the city when the heat is on, oh no, it's on the beach till the break it on. Welcome to my attic when the heat is on, on the night on the beach to the breakadone, welcome to my attic when the vigor's on the attic. Bad to get in the club when the heat is on, all night on the beach to the breakadone,
Starting point is 00:03:11 I'm going to my attic, please don't come into my attic. I'm the host and I'm the Matthew Cosby. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And while they're literally right under my roof, they're me falling my roof, let's meet the ten, Thomas Perry, and Benedict Clark. Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:03:27 Oh, wow. Tommy, you almost did yourself a mischief there, like over-brapping from the club. Did you? You over-brap to your mischief? You're not up along. No, no, no. Well, give your chance to recover our chat to Ben first.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Ben, why do you remain static when I ask you to clear out that attic? Well, Brix-Bab memory is actually good. Oh, no, this is a really strange thing. As you all know, I used to share a flat with a singer songwriter. Yes. And I was suspecting she was using things
Starting point is 00:03:54 I was saying in her lyrics. So I ventured, I was like, you know what? Let's cut our losses here. Let's, I think she'll move out. She's like, fine, I'm going on tour anyway. Do you mind just holding on to all my stuff? And I said, fiance, to the loft, to the loft, everything you own in a box, to the loft. I've literally been in business there, starting this day.
Starting point is 00:04:23 I've got to call that a reluctant clasp. I think... LAUGHTER I enjoyed that very much. It was every bit as a street and funky as my Will Smith rapper. LAUGHTER Yeah. Tom, why are you lost the words?
Starting point is 00:04:37 Oh, well. I'm not going to clean out the attic, because I had a terrible time. Last time I went up to my attic, it happened to me. I was just bought a house, I went up to the loft, right? And I tried to move one of the roof tiles. And what fell down was a CD. When I played that CD, every track on that CD,
Starting point is 00:04:55 ten times it was the only way is up by the plastic population. The whole roof I discovered was packed full of those CDs and in the end for health reasons I had to get the roof completely removed because the roof was packed full of Yazbestos. Yes, Yazbestos. Yazbestos. Yazbestos. Yazbestos. Marry me.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Yeah, I... Yeah, I was best of... I feel so conflicted about that, because on the one side, I really, really hated it, and the other, I'm just furious. So... But of course, you know what's been left with a creepy attic all on their roads. So who have you brought along to help you this time?
Starting point is 00:05:44 Tom, talk us through who you brought. Well, brought well Matthew bad news the jamborees in danger No, yes the highlight of every week the karaoke evening. We lost our lead karaoke singer So our karaoke works You've clearly never beat some of jamborees We're do not worry. I fell back on the biggest karaoke queen I know. She's high-functioning. She's wonderful. Please welcome Rishi Kwanatee!
Starting point is 00:06:13 Cheers! APPLAUSE I love the fact halfway through that introduction you found out as about yourself. Who knew? How are you doing, Rishi? Thanks for coming. Really? Well, I'm really glad you think I'm the karaoke queen. You're not really a karaoke queen.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Oh, okay. Do us a favour and belt us out a few of your classics. Have you got a favour, karaoke song? All of them. Can't you rest it not really? No. I once went to the karaoke on my own. We're the...
Starting point is 00:06:39 Wait, wait, wait. With my best friend. You're on your own with that. You're on your! Oh my god! She can't do that. Do you think you're alone right now? I've got for a break! I'm always on my own.
Starting point is 00:06:52 No, I went to karaoke after a break up and then my best friend came to join me because she didn't want it to seem like a breakdown. So she sent it out with me. We didn't address the matter in hand. Do you have an attic? Yes. Get ready for my absolute brilliant anecdote. Or an antique dose, if you will.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Oh, hello. No, no, no, no, clearly not. I rent and basically my attic is just a TV graveyard of every you turn and who's ever lived there. So there's like 40 TVs going back to the 60s. So do you have a good horror film if you were up on day cleaning the attic and one of the tellies came on and it was footage of you don't step not bad right? There was definitely intake of breath there. But you on your own
Starting point is 00:07:31 with all your mates around. And then one by one all the tellies come on and it's all the times you've taken a dump in the flowers. That's, whoa. That's such potential, Tom. Yeah. That's got real third-act problems. LAUGHTER Thank you for coming on the show, Rishine. It's love it to have you here. Ben, who have you brought along with you? I've brought along my personal trainer. It's John Thomas! John Thomas!
Starting point is 00:07:56 APPLAUSE John, well, thank you for coming on the show. It's love it to have you here. It's a pleasure to be here. You actually, not entirely, but you're almost technically flatmates with Tom, aren't you? Yes, yeah, you stayed in my house while I was away. You were my landlord. Oh, I was very excited because Joel couldn't tell anyone,
Starting point is 00:08:13 but he said to me, I'm going away to do some filming. You can stay in my house while I'm away. And he couldn't say that he was going to be on I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. So I found out in the news, whilst I was living in Joel's flat. And he lived in this really nice flat with a mezzanine bedroom. And I got to live this gorgeous luxury lifestyle
Starting point is 00:08:31 and watch you eating bugs and living under a tree. And it was like, I've stolen this man's life. And then I'd wear your clothes. Tom didn't keep ten on the interview, so he had a great time. Yeah. It was like such a weird thing watching you go through things So I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just Stranger things comes on. Why would you say it in that voice? I had no idea that my TV did that. Oh it does. It does. So if Rashim was kidding out of Traskin She was like show me me take it good done. But then all the pennies come on. I'm so sorry Don't know what I've got to do. Take it a done fine fine. We all do it
Starting point is 00:09:18 We're all human Perfect anyway, yes, I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
Starting point is 00:09:31 I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
Starting point is 00:09:39 I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws.
Starting point is 00:09:47 I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws, I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I look for jaws. I mean, just tombs, it's four or five days. Well, I was there all my own, and by that I mean, but she's best friend with me. LAUGHTER What kind of a flat mate of you, Joel? You're a good flat mate, though. I live solidly alone.
Starting point is 00:09:51 So, yeah, I don't really know what I'm like as a flat mate, really. A lot of shoes. A lot of shoes, too many of anything. How many shoes? A wardrobe full of shoes. And then the overspill. As well, I've got an overspill on the left.
Starting point is 00:10:02 You still don't have shoes? LAUGHTER If she'd done rather tight, I would wonder if they... as well I've got an over spill on the left you still do not choose rather tight so how many shoes do you reckon you got? I don't know probably I'm gonna say it's just a funny question by the way I would ever the number is half it and that's how many pairs you've got I'm gonna say 150. I know. You mean 50 pairs of shoes?
Starting point is 00:10:27 Yeah. That's not much. I'm just filling a lot of empty space of friendship. This is how good a host Joel is. Just for you guys to say, help yourself to my shoes. Like you said, you can wear any shoes you want. And I said, I'm size 12, he said, I'm size 9. No, size 6 and a half.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I know, I can fit to he-, I'm size 9. No, I'm size 6 and a half. I'm size 6 and a half. He's size 6 and a half. No, I can fit to healy's. You know how exciting that is. Ooh! So listen, we have met Archive Testers, but which team is going all the way to the top of the house when they lose?
Starting point is 00:10:56 Let's find out as we play. Yeah. Let's find out as we play round one. BEEP LAUGHTER Here we go. BEEP Going up to my loft, get in some men's time, pop in my loft, tell a new man, there's no time is lost, at it in the attic, then pop in my loft, when I need some time on my own, I head right up to the top of my home.
Starting point is 00:11:17 No one else here to wine or moan, and up in the roof there's considerable number phone. This is my men's cave, the roof's all the old private eyes that I've saved. Got a side photo of Chess and David in the corner is a space where I want to put a lane. What? Going up to my loft. Getting some men's time up in my loft.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Telling you, man, then, no time is lost. Atting the attic fam up in my loft. Up here on my own crib, check on the progress of my home room. Look at some pictures of my loft. I drew a watchin' legal download of John Wicktoon Got an old PlayStation Nice and warm because of the insulation
Starting point is 00:11:49 Just got to watch where I'm trading If I stand up too fast then I might pay my head in Going up to the lot Getting some men time up in my lot Telling you men's damn no time is lost Attacking the attic fan up in my lot I'm going up to my lot Getting some men time up in my loft, I'm going up to my loft, getting some bedtime up in my loft.
Starting point is 00:12:06 No time is lost when you're acting in the attic bell, up in my loft. Oh my goodness. Now a lot of people who've never been to see the show recorded live before don't realize that we play those in live. And yeah, we don't know what to do during that bit either. Really awkward. That's how we do it. So in a half, me and Clarky, that was...
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yeah. Just for that. I hit in a half of torture. LAUGHTER I liked it. I liked it. I liked it. Yes, good. And the lady there liked it. She did some face dancing. I was into it. What kind of face dancing... Oh, I see. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:43 How did you describe that? So what Roshini is doing is she's sort of scrunching up her face Scrunching It's called a power Scrunching at me Yeah, all right, she's powering up her face into a little scrunch Notting ahead There we go. Scrunching. This time round one is called a lofty conversions.
Starting point is 00:13:12 In it each contest is going to sing a well-known song about something high up. However, the twist is that their lofty song is undergone a conversion, using Google Translate, into a language from a country which contains one of the four highest peaks in Europe. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's around, we're describing as unnecessarily complicated. Wow, this is quite a concept. So there's a song about something high.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I've been through to explain the rules there are still four. The teammate has to guess not only the song but also the language in which it's being sung. So I'll be giving scores for I know. Can you believe it? I love this, I will be giving high scores for correct answers and also sawing performances. Ben you're up first there you go. That is your song Joel and you should tell me the name of the song and the language which Ben is murdering. I can't do it, I can't. Off you go. Remember to song about something higher.
Starting point is 00:14:07 OK. Imagine a view don't know but don't certain either. Avectan geriste on sema milleids. Coco l'v'a l'opére. It definitely says a concomand there, mate. I know you. I know you're a little bit old. I know you've been doing your lyrics. Who in feel you glide the school?
Starting point is 00:14:30 Hey mate. I think I think I'll give it a try. I was telling a cell of Phil, oh, damn, they're a little servant. Oh, I've got a guy. I can't, yeah. Yeah. Lucy, don'ts, mate.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Don'ts, mate. Joel, do you have any idea firstly? Firstly, can... LUCY DONGS LYNCH! DONGS LYNCH! I'm gonna go with... Joel, do you have any idea firstly? Firstly, what were all doing? Firstly, what was the language? I think I'm going with French off-fonte. And what was the song?
Starting point is 00:15:00 Was it The Beatles? Yes. With that one, that goes... Was it the Beatles? Yes. With that one that goes. Ah. Where is this? Where is this?
Starting point is 00:15:08 Where is this? I do. I do. Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this?
Starting point is 00:15:16 Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this?
Starting point is 00:15:24 Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Where is this? Oh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, on top of an else being thick. But what? How did you not beatles? It's not, it's about EET, LES, right? And beetles is a pun on like, they're a beat combo. Yeah, because arguably the beetles are bigger than beetles. No! Yes! Yeah, bigger than beetles. Bigger than beetles.
Starting point is 00:15:57 You know, so the beetles, I knew the beetles before I knew beetles. Is there anyone here? Is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is, is this, is this, is Is there anyone here? Is there... Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here?
Starting point is 00:16:10 Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here?
Starting point is 00:16:18 Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? Is there anyone here? You've made it too shame. Yeah, that's true. All right, I'll tell you what, lights up. LAUGHTER Can we buzz in with Lucy in the Sky Diamonds?
Starting point is 00:16:29 I'm actually absolutely right, half of us. I'll tell you that. He was absolutely not just about to say that, but it was. So I'm going to give you a point and a half there because you've got the language and you've got the band. And I'm going to give a point to Tom and Roshine there because you've got to the rest of it. I think we're going to go with Roshine.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Next, Roshine there is yours, OK? Wow. Yeah, right. We have the rest of it. I think we're gonna go with Rasheen next. Rasheen there is yours, okay? Wow. Yeah, right, we have a lot of fun. I mean... Just imagine you're on your own. Was it imagined by the Beatles? Yeah, no, it wasn't. No, it was a...
Starting point is 00:16:58 John Lennon was a solo song, Jesus Christ. Is that spelled J-E-L? Oh, it's so cool. Rasheen in your own sweet time. Ha! Ha! Have you started? That's... V is the Isch not you to to.
Starting point is 00:17:15 On the bench, Koyarata, Deletfes, On Pollen. Nicknakode! LAUGHTER Err... Nicknakodis... Nicknakodis, someone that can make her... There's the corrod TV no-glennid blood when you... Oh...
Starting point is 00:17:40 Nicknakodis, it's a polar to me... Nicknakodis, it's like the Lee... Okay, I don't think it I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:51 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know think I've got it. You must have it. I think it's flying without wings. Oh, absolutely right, it was flying without wings.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Can you guess why it's that way? It is by Westive, I thought. It is Irish. That was Gaelic. Is the idea of the language? I'm going to go Swedish. I'm afraid Sweden knots higher than the Irish knots. I'm going to go Swedish.
Starting point is 00:18:23 I'm going to go Swedish. I'm going to go Swedish. It is by West-I, for the first time. It is Irish. That was gale. Is the idea of the language? I'm going to go Swedish. I'm afraid I'm not Sweden's highest Russia. It was in fact Russia. Oh, go Irish. I didn't think Russia's in Europe. So, I've got to give him two points.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Yeah, Russia was, of course, singing... Flying with that wings by West-I, and she was singing in Russian in honor of Mount Elbrus, which is Europe's highest peak. Fudder fun. Now, it's... Next up is Joel Ben. Get ready to listen.
Starting point is 00:18:47 That is your song, their Joel, and do your worst off you go. Oh, yeah, I love this song. Erm, I can't remember how it goes though. Yes! Ben, any guesses? Ben, now I'm looking for the language, and I'm looking for the title and artist. Guys, erm, just do the chorus. Now I'm looking for the language and I'm looking for the title and artist.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Guys, just do that guys. I'm going to tell me that guys. I'm literally still sweating from that audio. You look fantastic, your face is perfectly scrunched. Oh, Joey, you had enough thinking time. Off you go. Yeah. I said it goes as see the picture thank you mr. Dommott
Starting point is 00:19:50 good it's all fly away I'll fly can I go see you hold tight hold tight I'll fly away so yes I'll fly away I'll fly away you said I'll fly away
Starting point is 00:20:14 You know everything apart from the title Like a bird Oh yes, I'm gonna give you that time like a bird Who sang it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Saddeck on the bench. Italian? Yes. Let's see if you can still. Do you know who the artist is, don't you? Yes. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Nellie Pettarda. Sweet Nellie Pettarda, obviously you're right. Biggest she is, she's got in years. And what do you think? Turkey. It was Turkey, bloody hell. What? CHEERING
Starting point is 00:21:07 That was exciting moment! Every bit up until you took your shirt off was, yeah. Look at that idea! So that was 2.5 hands like that. You thought that was like a turner Tom. Adiac, kid of mud. Adiac, kid of mud. Ickach, I'm ill!
Starting point is 00:21:24 Kid of mud. Record sex machine. Kid of mud. Adiac, kid of mud And Jack Kid of mud I can't do it! Kid of mud Record sex machine Kid of mud And Jack Kid of mud And Jack Kid of mud And Jack
Starting point is 00:21:32 I'm back Kid of mud Record sex machine Kid of mud Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Shed to calm, Shed to go on and sit. Nick, come up soon, six machine. Shed to dunk, go to my gym chat. Reconceive of that? Meek, meek, meek.
Starting point is 00:21:54 A dick, could have met. A dick, a bit. Could you have met? How dick, could have met? Ha! You're watching the second-highest working man in show business, everybody. Look at the babies on the mums' forehead. Jesus Christ. So, Rishin, any idea what you think the song was, the artist and of course the language?
Starting point is 00:22:21 I know this song, Sex Machine, James Brown. Yep. I'll take the language. Indian? From you, aimlessly, you're wrong. I'll take a dirac. I was watching it. No, we're watching earlier.
Starting point is 00:22:35 We have this trailer, you're wrong. I'll pay how Beatles spelled in a minute. It's a... Yeah, so, Rashid, go for whatever language is on your mind. Yeah, I'm going to say... On your mind for whatever language is on your mind. Yeah, I'm gonna say whatever language is on your mind Right guys This is shit glue. It's not a terrible clue if you also know the answer Do another clue
Starting point is 00:22:59 Think about what country being on a rainy day about what country you're being on a rainy day, a rainy day in this place, and it would be on your mind. Well, you get to be like a train to. Georgia! Yeah! There's actually a really famous song and then a slightly more obscure song and you pick the slightly more obscure song. Yeah, that was absolutely right, so I'm going to give it a three point and then I'm
Starting point is 00:23:23 going to give you guys a couple of points as well. Why not? Oh, so So at the end of that round producer Ben, can you please tell us what the scores are? John Ben, I've got five and a half. Tom and Rashine have got eight. Oh So Rashine Tom, so we're in high end to the sky There's still time for their wax winks to melt. So they're like Icarus crashing into the sea as we head into round two Only ten more rounds to go guys. Ten more rounds. Oh no, we're doing bonus rounds this week.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Oh, 15 rounds. 15 rounds to runny. It's round two of 15. Hurrah! Yay! Let's play together. Gaze. Let's play forever.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Roll the dice. Spin that thing. Put that down. To lose your toll. Gaze. Just get loose, put that down. To lose your toll, game. Just you lose, you get nothing. Games, if you win, you get goals me crazy. People are going for it. So this week we're playing our version.
Starting point is 00:24:30 You don't get that on Uncle? That's a very good point you don't. You don't do. No, it's a very well written show. This week we're playing our version of Ten Pin bowling, which we're calling 10 thing bowling. That's wrong. Thank you mate. We'll wait to hear the 15 different rules we've written for it.
Starting point is 00:24:51 I'm going to leave each table topic and take it in turns. They have to list 10 things within that topic as quickly as possible. So you have a minute on the clock and I'll give you a point for every second left on that clock once you've completed your list. Okay? So I'm going to adjudicate as to whether or not things are going to be allowed on the list by using this bell or clear. Good.
Starting point is 00:25:09 So do you want to set the rules? No. Okay, you don't. Do you want to see laughing at the bell to hear the rules? Basically, take it in turn. I have Pavlov's Clown. Here at Coddmator's what you are. Listen, Err. I can't wait, it's what you are. This is... LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:25:29 So, let's take that one more 4D, is it? So, thank you. That was quite impressive, was it? You're Schrodinger's Twat. I'm both so funny and not funny at the same time. So, Tom Rishi, you're going to go first. I want you to play 10 things trolling, give me a minute. 10 things you would see. What are we speaking at the same time? 1-H, so you do 1-1 in Thomas' once at your time.
Starting point is 00:25:54 I'm actually as fast as possible. So I want you to play 10 things trolling, give me a list of 10 things you'd see on a country walk as quickly as possible. Rabbit's. Petch. Bushes. Whole. Roads. Foyle. possible. Rabbits. Petch. Bushes.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Roads. Sky. Dogs. Crops. Men. Traktor. Women. Farmriards.
Starting point is 00:26:14 It's walking six. Blue sky. Stomaches. I'm unable to do the digging and count at the same time. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER So, a fatal flaw. LAUGHTER OK, yeah, Ash, do you want to count?
Starting point is 00:26:27 You'll count, you'll time. Maybe I'll just chat before we start the show, like, guys. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th. ACAS powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination
Starting point is 00:27:15 of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcast. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. Acast.com We've never played it before. This is the first time for this game. Last.
Starting point is 00:27:47 But, here we go. What did they get there? I think they did get ten, but I was panicking. We got more than ten. You can't get more than ten. You lose more points. So that would have been 42 points, but I'm sure you can beat that. I'll pick a different thing. What? Oh, sure. So that would have been 42 points, but I'm sure you can beat that.
Starting point is 00:28:05 I'll pick a different thing. What? I'd say just... You're going to play 10-thing-sholing. 10 things you'd find under the sea. Fish. Rock. Seaweed.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Coral. Waves. Wails. Most. Shark. Longfac. Longfac. Chip sea mouse. You're a log fan. Oh, log fan. Chipwreck. Crumb.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Or assault. Recycling rubbish. Shit. Guys, guys, guys, sorry, sorry. I can't wait until what they're saying ending at the same time, guys. I literally wasn't listening to that. I think I didn't see mouse. I think you see mouse.
Starting point is 00:28:39 I think you see mouse, guys. Seaweed four times times mouse three times I can't listen and think of the same time. I honestly can't you don't know about these things to do you find out No, I did it before how are you gonna do this? I Not got it in me I'm afraid, I'm so sorry. I'm saying what we'll do it. I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Oh, no way. You do this on me. No, no, no, no, I've got to adjudicate. I've just got to like, I gave you a right, I've got to like, okay. I'll count the dings. That's what you're missing out on. Why don't you do the dings in post? Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Wait, okay, that's what it was. So what does the ding represent? Good question. Let's go for the software. Let's just focus on my inability to think, listen and ding at the same time. I want to think of another topic that a fold is be folding. Folding.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Things to do with horses. Folding. OK. Oh, I'm not saying that. Things to do with horses, all right? But we're calling it 10-com-folding, all right? But we're calling it 10-kilometer folding, all right? Here we go. Horsemice.
Starting point is 00:29:47 What? What? OK. What? Third time lucky on these things, all right? Oh god, I'm sweating. It's so stressful, guys. OK, here we go.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Stressed for you. Don't slow with that. Don't slow with that. With your more chitness, with the lightning. OK, sure. No, no. All right, here we go. Go.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Lightning, are you guys? I've restarted. You've got to start. No, he we go. Go. Lightning, are you guys? I've just started. You've got to start. No, you've got to. What? Wait, can I just say, I never once said go before, you just started to catch up. So, is that leave added go to it?
Starting point is 00:30:16 Okay. I'll say go, you start thinking you do it. Here we go. Right? You guys, fuck you, enjoy yourselves! Jesus! Can I just say, guys, Can you just chill out a bit? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:30:27 Not a bad vibe, just going for the audience right now. Can't really know it! That's the time I heard! Sure, the format needs a few tweaks. Why? I think you got to point this right first time. No, they didn't! The other one was panicky, just like I am right now. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:30:44 I'm going gonna say go. And that will indicate, start of the minute. Minute. It's about horses. I was saying go. You ain't saying go, mate. I'm saying go, then I'm digging, right? Can't we clarify it's about horses?
Starting point is 00:30:53 Do it about horses. Go. Go. Oh, that's it. LAUGHTER It's an image of that. You did it, but you did, all right? Here we go, and that go is not the go for go, okay? Three, two, one, go.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Saddle, jockey, hoops, tail, whisperer, jump. Main fence, eyes, eyelashes, jumping, run, hedge, run, grand national. Yes! Okay. Next time, beat brothers, everyone. Beat brothers, everybody. Big brothers is next. This is an unplayable game.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Maybe they'll be playing with it. They'll probably won't be as fast as us. That's a good call. Here we go. You're about to get your digging out. Anyway, 60 points. So next up, we have Ben and Joel. So, do you understand how the game is played?
Starting point is 00:31:45 Nope. I literally haven't listened to last five minutes. You like it? You like it? You like it? I like it. I like it. I like it.
Starting point is 00:31:53 I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
Starting point is 00:32:01 I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. LAUGHTER So remember the ding represents my sort of increasing panic. LAUGHTER You are going to be doing ten-thing-holing, give me ten different types of hole. Right.
Starting point is 00:32:16 OK. Your minute starts... Now, pot black... Erm... Erm... Erm... Stinky. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:32:28 Vachayda. Oh! F**k! B-A-B-A-B-T. Um... What? Uh, glory. Um...
Starting point is 00:32:38 In one. Spy. Spyhole. Yeah, that was a very similar to Goliath. Spy hole. Come on, give me another one of the spy holes. Sorry, so it's E-A-D. It's a Beatles.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Okay. A... In the wall. That's a spy hole. That's what a spy hole. No, that's a bank We didn't question eyelashes We listen quietly why you said eyes for horses and by three times But I've never seen I wish called like the point and that's a minute over
Starting point is 00:33:22 And that's a minute over. Yes! They got nine at the end of the hour. One of them is sticky. And the minute of that, you tell me. What's a sticky hole? You said no, mate. So, unfortunately, we get that round. Tom and Rashid scored 60 points.
Starting point is 00:33:40 And Ben and Joel scored zero points. So, unbelievable. Hard to really go on, isn't it? But we do. So, producer Ben, what are the scores? At the end of that round. Well, Joel and Ben are in second place. With five and a half.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Tom and Rachine have 68! APPLAUSE One off my favorite number Can I suggest 70 points for beef brothers? Oh No What's beef brothers? Well, you're about to pride out Rishina's, we play Beef Brothers! If you have a problem, call me a problem, cause you have a problem calling a beef.
Starting point is 00:34:31 If you've got a beef, then maybe we can help you, Beef Brothers, sorting out your beef. Yes, it's beef brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat shared based beef, and today's one comes from Katie. Katie, are you there? Now this is Katie's problem. My flatmate wanders around the house in just his pants. They are ill-fitting and a bollock often comes out to say hello. Hello! I love him dearly but not so much I want to see his nuts. Now I've left out one crucial detail here. Who is your flatmate Katie? Er, he's my older brother. Your brother, okay! So your brother wanders around in his house in Justice Pants.
Starting point is 00:35:11 So Tom and Roshine, you are on the side of Katie. Ben and Joel, you are on the brother's name. You don't have to give the brother's name, but what is it? Michael. Michael, how did he do it? Absolutely, how did he do it? How did he throw him under the bus? As you're on Michael's side. Sorry, can I just check what his surname is? Michael Ball. Absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, absolutely do, That's so happy the question ended that way. It's quite a small flat. Small flat. What do you do as jobs by seeing your brother? I work in an opera house and he just accounting.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Which opera house do you work in? I smell a sitcom. The Coliseum. Oh, it's beautiful. I know. What a gorgeous building. And can you get discount tickets? Sometimes.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Depending on who wins. Yeah. Sure. Of course I'll. Is your brother male? Yeah. What? I'll try every day sexism.
Starting point is 00:36:18 All right. Because again, there's a construct. So, Rochini, have you got anything you'd like to ask Katie? Have you ever said anything to your brother before about it? Yeah, but then he just got really embarrassed and it just carried on happening, so I just left it. I think I'm embarrassed. What areas of the flat does this fake fight for? All of your questions sound like it'd be dirty in the air.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Whereabouts is he parading around in his underpants? It's the kitchen. The kitchen! Oh! No further questions, Your Honor. The kitchen. Joel, any questions? Bollock.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Can I ask, oh, I'm just making notes. Can I just ask, are you cooking? Can I, no, can I? Oh! What were you cooking? Pasta. Pasta! How old is he?
Starting point is 00:37:04 He's 30. 30. God, damn it, gross, right? A 30-year-old baller when you're cooking plaster. Gross. That is conjecture, Thomas. That's how old is Pollock is. Is it as old as he is? And is it the same one that pops out?
Starting point is 00:37:21 Because if you know which side it's going to pop out on, just always go on the other side of it. That's what I was going to say. Make him always get the other side of it. What are you going to say? Make him stand. Well, that's my argument. Sorry. Sorry, Clarke. Sorry, General Matt. That's hopefully enough information for our team to make their cases.
Starting point is 00:37:33 So without further ado, I am going to call upon Rochene Connity to begin the case for the prosecution. Now, you have one minute and I'll be dinging throughout. So I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I And it's the only way for him to experience it. It's a learned empathy. I think it's totally an aside all making move out. Am I doing this right? I don't know if I'm a good lawyer.
Starting point is 00:38:09 I think you should definitely, or have sex in front of him, up his game, up your game. Do you smoke really, really, really dark? And then he'll put his balls away. I think it's awful to see your brothers, genitals. Have I got a carry on talking? Well, you've got 30 more seconds. You've got to do that.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Jesus, I talk so fast. Here's what I'm saying carry on talking? Well, you've got 30 more seconds. She's that talk so fast. Here's what we're... What else? Yeah, that's it. I've got nothing else to say on the matter. Case closed. Okay, fantastic. Rasheed Colourty, everybody.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Okay, sir. For the prosecution, I have sex in front of your brother. You're standing by that? Well, you did not full sex. Just the same. Just enough to make him aware of his consequences of seeing things out of context.
Starting point is 00:38:49 You shouldn't see families' genitals. It's awful. OK, fair enough. Jim, begin the case for the defense. I call it now upon Joe Dommett. So Joe, remember, you're on Michael's side. Your minute begins now. I'm on the side of Michael.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Good old Michael Ball. Wonderful. It's an issue here of censorship and freedom. People are trying to take away our freedom, being able to cook while having a low hanging test of clay. Now this is fine. I pray thee, who doesn't love, who doesn't love to just cook, just walls, just free, with just a bit of a breeze on the left nut. That is a beautiful feeling. And I feel like
Starting point is 00:39:34 there's stut, if you just give people that little edge where they're like, oh, put some trousers on, next you'll be like, don't cook at all, and then it's Brexit, and it's just me, guys, we're going that way. Freedom, let us cook with whatever the fuck we want to cook in. I don't want to do that, anyone to tell me what to cook another things, please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Joel Dominic, everybody, in case they're...
Starting point is 00:40:00 I'm sorry. So firey rhetoric there from Joel Dominic, and we appreciate that very much. Katie, how do you think it's going so far? I have full faith in my legal team. I'll go right to KT. That's very welcome. That's very good to hear. Well, Tom Fuck you, Katie. A jimsy on him. You are in contempt of court there, Mr Dommit. Now to continue the case, if I conclude the case for the prosecution, I'm going to call up on Tom and Tom. Are you going to be doing this as yourself? No I'm gonna be doing it in the style of a deep-south defence lawyer from a John Grisham
Starting point is 00:40:31 novel. Oh yes. Mr. Fanshore Standard. Mr. Fanshore Standard. Presiding and indeed providing your ministers now. Ladies and gentlemen after jury. Now ladies and gentlemen of the jury. We've heard a lot of big words then today. Them dare fancy lawyers over there from the city with their fancy words. Cooking. Pesticoles. Hell, I don't know no testicles.
Starting point is 00:40:58 He lived in this town, man and boy. I said a lot of you, damn jewelry over there, hell I recognize someone, you see you down the bakery. We live. And there's one thing we know in this town and that they'll be family. Hell I see you there best of me, house Cassandra. Who led the men and find, sorry about that,
Starting point is 00:41:21 I was reversing too fast. And we've all been there. But you ain't ever a child. You have to be a cool guy in the front. Let's stick to the story. I'll see you in a second. I'll see you in a different trial that be going on. He'll chisin' the ball there.
Starting point is 00:41:39 What's she doin'? I was drunk. Yeah, can't be dealing with no dead child behind my car. Now, a lot of you dad be thinking about family and that's why we know in this town family blood be thinking the water I said it been proved. Hell of a boxing day.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Get to a damn dead book, it's pull him down a tube. Call it an afternoon. Get to a damn dare book, it's pull him down a tube. Call it an afternoon. Lost a lot of blood that day. Can't remember the results. Still finished turkey. Merry Christmas.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Now you don't need no cousin to steal your hammer to tell you the trust ain't always skin deep. Now sometimes it'd be fried. I lost a lot of blood. I'm so sorry. No further questions, y'all. No further questions, John. No further questions, John. Fans you're standing there presiding,
Starting point is 00:42:49 and indeed providing... What about fans you're there? Lot of backstory this time. Not so helpful for Katie, but a lot of backstory. So, Clarky, everything to play for, you are concluding the case for the defence. Your minute, if you need it. You don't?
Starting point is 00:43:07 You don't? OK. Well, the next round, it doesn't exist. Your minute, if you need it, begins now. Look, guys, come on. We live in a free society where we should be able to express ourselves physically. We shouldn't have judgment on what we look like or what any single part of us looks like. And I know, for a lot of us, the Bulltack is the... isn't a particularly nice-looking area.
Starting point is 00:43:42 How are you spelling Bulltack? Bull, B-E-L-E-A-T-L-E-S, you're brilliant. And it's the part of us that ages, first, tends to be a lot more, you know, wrinkly, two seconds. And oh, don't block him up! Hey! Really? Lovely conclusion. Lovely conclusion.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Now, normally, I would be the one to make the decision, but people do love referendums. So let's leave this one open to the so-ho audience. If you think Tom and Banshaw and therefore Katie is in the right, I'd like you to applaud now. They pretty healthy response there, but if you think Ben and Joel made the best case and therefore Michael is in the right, applaud now. Katie, I'm so sorry the ballad lives to swing another day. So a wise person once said, good things come to those who wait, well let's prove them wrong.
Starting point is 00:44:54 With the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly. And this jingle should go quickly too. So we can get on with the next round. That's the idea. And more than that, the quicker this jingle is, The quicker we can all get on with our evenings Clarkies got no doubt lots of things planned
Starting point is 00:45:52 Watch you got planned Clarkies Oh, I thought I played FIFA 70 And as for me, well I guess I'll just keep moving. I'll pack my bags and head on to another town. I guess, I guess my work is done, you can't fence me in Oh, where you going, Tom? I'm going to Plymouth Oh, that's a bull choice Yeah, when I get there
Starting point is 00:46:37 I'll pop down my bindle I'll throw my hair back And I'll say, hey, Plymouth, what's going on today, mate? And then I'll buy myself a burger. I'll whistle the tune and I'll shack up with some henchmen I'll rob a bank and I'll kill the henchmen Because you can't trust no one in this cave Oh, I feel right
Starting point is 00:47:19 So there you go guys, potential is everywhere. Let's finish this jingle and get on with living our dreams. Clarke's got a pay fee for, and I'm planning a bank job in Plimpas. And as for you, the audience, who knows? Let's find out after the quick file. Row. Wow. Wowie.
Starting point is 00:47:57 APPLAUSE I mean, the big question is, did it ever happen? Clarke, did you ever play FIFA? Did you ever do it? Yeah. Great, good. OK, well, of course, in the quick bar round, all the questions will be attic based.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Now instead of buzzing. Oh, don't tell anyone about Limbaugh. It's the perfect time. I killed two of my henchmen that worked with me for years. Well, now it's time to move on. Pack up my bags and head to another town. Maybe. Crew. And of course, in this quick far round all all the questions will be attic or loft based.
Starting point is 00:49:06 So instead of buzzers, if you think you have the right answer, shout out your first name. So Tom and Rashine, let's hear that now. Tom. Rashine. And Ben. Joel. Ben. Joel.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Off we go. Which Bristolian tripop pioneers are also a huge loft? Loft-o boys. The Loft-o boys, I'll give you a half a point. It's, of course, massive attyic. Erm, what? give you a half a point. It's of course massive at tick. Why is a facial twitch like a loft? Twitch-O face. Twitch-O face, I believe, a half a point because you're the only person currently still playing. But it's actually because it's a tick. Why is an attic?
Starting point is 00:49:39 Yeah, fuck you hate this guy. You should be in the audience. Why is an attic like everyone's favourite book? Flowers in the attic. Thomas, could he be half a point? Tom Mouse? Attic capture in the rye. It's a top story. But I will give you Attic Atture in the Rye. What sort of loft is obsessed with pop stars? Loft don't love out. Tommas, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait't have a clutch? Tom, Tom, and what's the next thing you do?
Starting point is 00:50:25 Oh, Tom, what the heck? Fuck! Fuck! What? That's what you do? That's what you do? That's what you do? That turns you Japanese.
Starting point is 00:50:34 That's what you do? I already think so. Um. Who did that? That's not what? What did we do with this recording? We can't put it out. It's actually happening!
Starting point is 00:50:51 We're in this America, I swear to God. Tom, I'm going to allow it. So technically that's not how we play. Wait, for Tom to start answering and then scream like you've had an electric shock up your asshole. But, uh... asshole, that's another one. Another hole.
Starting point is 00:51:12 There we go. 60 points. Now, er... We're back at it. Which loft contains the three tenors? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is now getting into very... very uncultured territory.
Starting point is 00:51:29 For the listener at home, Joel has just committed Harry Carey. Career wise. What Bill Murray's got you had to movie was setting an attic. Lost in translation, I think. Lost in translation, I'm sorry. Well, that is our quick far round. Lost in translation, I think. Lost in translation, I'm sorry. Lost in translation, I'm sorry. Well, that is our quick far round. APPLAUSE
Starting point is 00:51:51 There's just time for the plugs. Joel, have you had anything you would like to plug? I have a monitor currently. I'm doing it in English and Japanese. And, yeah, so, Joel Domit.com, if you're interested, mate. Rushing, how about you? What you got going on? Not much. LAUGHTER Hang it out. Rushing, come on, you're hiding your mat under a bus, you should make a... I've made a sitcom.
Starting point is 00:52:11 So, pretty tired and today was meant to be like a chill evening, but it's been like an exam. LAUGHTER It's been really a lot of thinking. I don't like thinking. Yeah, I just made a romantic one, which will be out at some point if it's not dog shit. So I think it's best.
Starting point is 00:52:26 Brilliant, yeah, that's it. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE So, producer Ben, let's hear those final scores. Well, with the extra 60 points, you gave Ben a jolt in that final round. What?! LAUGHTER They said, they said arsehole. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:52:42 So, they said arsehole, and then they repeated arsehole. So I said, I was 60 points, that already said ar said awesome. And they said asshole and then they repeated asshole. So I said, I was 60 points, that already said asshole. Let me, you don't get to asshole on the house. Through your job! And, well, with bullshit. Bullshit! With that 60 points, Tom and Ben have sixty seven and a half. Rashid and Tom win with seventy three!
Starting point is 00:53:09 73 points! You do a great job, Ben, you do a great job. So Tom and Rashid are all winners, they get to beat out the... Well, fuck it, doesn't matter what. We've been panties, we'll see you next time on Flash, yes, lambda! Happy Flash, yes, glad that we've got big bucks for Big Bang, especially this, we've seen coaching Joel Novak, he was devised. White panties have produced a better walker. Big thanks to everybody who came down to the recording
Starting point is 00:53:39 to actually help get out to our world, and we're going to be going to the toilet in May, up to us. Happy Flash, yes, lambda, there's a first out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
Starting point is 00:53:51 We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra.
Starting point is 00:53:59 We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have to help you out to our boss at British Nothra. We have Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom at a lot for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
Starting point is 00:54:10 I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

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