Pappy's Flatshare - Series 8, Episode 8 (Latitude '18 Special)
Episode Date: February 6, 2019Glenn Moore and Jayde Adams and a House Band(!) are the tent, yurt and teepee guests for a very special episode recorded at the 2018 Latitude Festival. Within... a lot of singing, an embarrassing lack... of scientific knowledge, an attempt at crowd surfing, misplaced scissors and The Killers. As you'll hear at the end of the episode we're super grateful to everyone who has donated money towards the series. If you'd like the chance to hear your name read out alongside a nonsensical compliment, you can! DONATE HERE: www.comedy.co.uk/pfs/donate You can also very much support the show by telling other people about it. Thanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Hey baby, I hear the blues
It's calling, toss salads, and scramble eggs.
Y'all know how this goes.
And maybe I seem a bit confused.
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you picked.
Ha-ha-ha.
But I don't know what to do with those toss salads
And scramble eggs.
Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier.
Life's calling again.
New series now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Flat Shares Landown.
Flat Shares Landown.
Hello, Flat Shares Landown.
Yeah, that's part of the theme tune.
It's madness, enjoyably sung by Tom.
Yes.
I was expecting a Tom Ben.
That starts, that's also in the episode as well.
So this is, you know, Tom, this is full of spoilers.
Oh, you haven't heard the theme tune yet.
They haven't heard me say Tom Ben.
It's all coming up.
It's all gonna be coming up.
So, well, in fact, we're gonna tell you,
it's actually not all gonna be coming up
because this is gonna be our last episode for a short while.
Do not freak out, guys. Do not panic. We are taking a short break. Clark is reassuring
us there. We're there. Yeah. Yeah, guys. We're going to take a very short break and we're
going to be... Only a matter of weeks, right? Oh, yeah. Only a matter of weeks. Although,
I guess any break is a matter of weeks. Philosophically speaking. What about a day?
Is that a matter of weeks?
That's a matter of weeks.
Ah.
Oh.
It's a people. 3 of a week.
So, I'm not a mathematician, my friend.
Yes, he's going to take you back to when I said it.
It's like, it's intro nice and tight.
Nicest sinked.
So basically, we're going to take a break of a matter of weeks,
back sometime in the spring, and we are going to take a break of a matter of weeks back sometime in the spring and we are going to have even more
flat slam related content for you. Yes, we're going to be back probably in a different place
Probably in your ears. Don't worry. Don't worry. We're not we're not going to start trying to enter your body through a different
Our office we're sick. We are
The place we know so well.
So yes, we're going to be back and it's going to be with a big announcement,
probably in a different place on the internet.
So look out for that.
Yes.
Come the start of the eyes.
Yes.
Spring.
Yes, come the start of the eyes of spring.
If you can remember that helpful phrase, that will remind you that flat slam will be back. And in fact, if you're fans of Papi's Bangas in
Mash, we're in for a bit of a treat as well. I would say so it's worth waiting, it's worth
waiting around for. Don't forget us guys. If you're a fan of weekly podcasts, you might
be in for a treat. You might be in for a treat as well. Yeah. It's all
sounding good. This is all, this is the first time I've heard this. And I'm in the market.
Just, what, I'm beside myself. Yeah. So, yeah, last one This is all, this is the first time I've heard this. And I'm in the market, just,
what, I'm beside myself.
So, yeah, last one for a bit,
but this, what a cork it to lead us into the break.
Here we go.
This is the latitude episode.
We recorded this summer of 2018.
Yes, now.
Now, in the buildup to this meeting,
sorry, in the buildup to this podcast,
we count this as a meeting more than anything else, guys. That's how professional time is. The meeting of mine. In the buildup to this podcast. We count this as a meeting more than anything else, guys.
That's how professional time is.
The meeting reminds.
In the buildup to this podcast, we had a conversation about
would a festival flat slam work with a live band?
Yes.
We incorrectly thought it would.
That's true.
Oh, I don't know.
So it turns out if you are going to use a live band,
you should rehearse with them first.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It turns out it's a lot of work. And also, if you are going to use a live band, you should rehearse with them first. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, turns out it's a lot of work.
And also, if you are going to have a live band, you've got to make sure that they stay off
the rider until after the show.
Yeah, I mean.
And that is a rule I'd also apply to the three of us.
Yeah, very true.
We were...
We were well-ridden by the time we got into this beast.
Oh my God, yeah, it was legless by the end.
As indeed, well, we...
Yeah, we're a little tipsy during this.
They always say, if you're gonna be drunk on stage,
be a little bit less drunk than the audience.
And I think we didn't do that.
We've got it the other way around.
We're out.
We're out.
We were as drunk as every other member of the audience.
Yes.
But what an episode it is, two incredible guests.
Absolutely.
It was going more and Jade Adams.
Oh.
Fantastic. And what a large duty was and Jade Adams. Oh, fantastic. Beauty.
And what a large duty was.
James had just been on stage.
On the well-ming.
They were not strong.
Yes.
The band James.
Yes.
Not our friend James.
No, yes.
No, yes.
They have a carifier, that yes.
It's good for our friend James.
Yes, yes.
Well, we were waiting there with Bate of Breath of War,
but that, we were hoping for a surname. No, to sort of round it off, but no, you know, give
J dog a surname.
So, yes, we, we, we, Salon should be on, Salon should be on, I think it was a long farewell,
I'm sure.
I think that's what he's trying to do.
Yeah, that's what he's trying to do.
He said that, spoiler alert again.
And the killers were about to headline the Saturday night.
Yes.
It was a much, it was a better time when Latline the saturday night. Yes It was a much it was a better time when latches it was a simple time worth going to watch
I know George Ezra what are you thinking?
Anyway, it's a wonderful festival. It's a wonderful podcast. I hope you enjoy it and join us after this episode for a little treat for
People who have donated. Oh, we should mention donations. Yes. If you enjoy the podcast or if you don't, you enjoy the podcasting fact. Just donate.
So you can donate to Flashek Slumdown at web address.
Oh, God.
Any time I've had to deal with technology, he has a small stroke.
And I mean, that in both sense of the term.
Of the most part.
He stroke the most pad.
That is...
You know I'm referring to...
I think those greepers.
It's got a lovely picture of you coming down a log flu.
That's it. That's pad.
I'll tell you what, big announcement coming up,
we're going to start selling mouse pads.
Hey, listen, would you buy a mouse pad?
I wouldn't know.
Would you buy a mouse pad?
It's a catchphrase of source.
It's a sort of a catchphrase.
It's also what was your other one,
come with the hour of the Iads of...
Anyway, don't forget it, the Iads of Spring.
I think we've done about 45 seconds of an intro, haven't we?
Yes, I do, don't get to donate at
shittyeamoney.com.
There it is. That's the web address.
It's the web address.
It's the web address.
And stick with us at the end of the podcast because if you have donated, we're going to
be reading out a special thanks to a lot of our donors.
There's a lot of you.
Yeah, there's more than we realize.
Yes, but we're going to go for it because hey, it's 2019.
The year we start giving back.
Is that?
I mean, I tell you, the thing about your conviction is, it's sadly lacking.
Yeah, because you, like the year we started giving back, that would have been a great bump
off we're off with the episode.
But that you went, is it?
Enjoy the latitude episode, we'll see you on the other side and we'll see you in the for a new dawn, a new day, and boy. Are we feeling good?
Is it?
Tomm!
Ben!
What is it, Matthew?
What is it, you bastard?
How dare you?
Well, we're here at Lattitude Festival.
Yeah!
Oh!
So, all we need to do is plan what we're gonna do
on our Saturday at Lattitude.
We're gonna get battered.
No, Tom, you say it's not gonna be me because I get good. It's not gonna be me, I're gonna get battered. No, Tom, you say it's not gonna be me because I gave it a go.
It's not gonna be me, I'm gonna be battered.
Fair enough, and it's not gonna be me either.
I'm gonna be battered too.
There's only one with a soul fit.
We're gonna have to have a Flash Eslandown.
Flash Eslandown.
Flash Eslandown.
Flash Eslandown.
Flash Eslandown. I'll be giving it up for the bad end, everyone. Flash it, slam down! Flash it, slam down! Flash it, slam down!
I'll be giving it up for the band everyone!
Absolutely!
I mean...
Well worth having a band along for that, I'd say.
They did!
But they did say they were going to give us a little bit of a run-in.
I'm going to blame that one on top.
Yes!
We're going to have to have a baby! on top. Yes. Flash us down, Flash us down! No band, no band!
The live band, everybody, the live band.
You know what, it's nice to have the running at the end of a song, I say.
It's the best place for it.
Hello and welcome to a very special flat-shear stand-down.
We are live at the last Jude festival.
This is the panel show that says,
I call you when I need you.
My heart's on fire.
You come to me, come to me, wild and wired.
Dum, dum, dum.
Oh, you come to me.
Give me everything I need.
Give me a life of promises and a world of dreams. Speak the language of love
like you know what it means. Oh, it can't be wrong. Take my heart and make it strong
You're simply the festival
Better than all the rest of old
Better than anyone
Anyone I've ever met
You're simply the best, I've been in snowbath now.
Better than all the rest of all.
Better than anyone's, anyone.
Anyone I've ever met, you're simply the best, I've been in snowbath now.
I'm not so much like you've brought me in, well, we're live. I'm not so lucky. It brought me what we are live and I speak easy here
And the last you'd best of all 2018
I want to invite ten that before in my rules. Let's meet the tenants Tom Perry and Ben Clark
So Tom why the bad attitudes when I ask you to organize latitude well
I'm not gonna plan the last few weekends because every year I think about planning
the latitudes.
I get in on the Friday, I get drunk, I end up on stage at the Lichorina, I take my
top off and attempt to crowd serve.
No!
No!
Oh no!
Oh, good Lord!
Good Lord Tom, there was no audience there.
You've got to do it in a bit where the crowd is mate.
I genuinely thought I could clear that.
Well, looks a lot cooler.
I'm going to do it in a bit where the crowd is mate.
I genuinely thought I could clear that. Good Lord! Good Lord Tom, there was no audience there. You've got to do it in a bit where the crowd is mate.
I genuinely thought I could clear that.
Well, it looks a lot closer than it actually is.
Let me take it out on the night as young.
Yes.
Daddy dream.
I tell you what, if me and my teammate win this podcast,
then by God we are both crouched up and out of this day.
Don't say so.
Hang it a sec, that is a promise.
Ben, why are you about as much use to this festival as James to the Friday Night lineup?
Look, I can't concentrate on anything I'm just so excited about seeing Salonge.
I mean, that was literally that, that just happened.
What?
A Mr.
So obviously you can't do that, you know. So long farewell, a Vita saying goodbye, goodbye.
That's a large guy, this is brilliant.
This is brilliant.
Now obviously you can't do that as you're on your own.
So who have you brought along to take up our guest tickets and make the cues of the show as even longer? Ben, I have bought my singing teacher, Jada Adams!
Jada Adams is here!
Hello!
Jada Adams!
A gorgeous vocal range now. It's normally a sort of flat share based panel show. What kind
of a flatmate are you? You're a good flatmate, you're a bad flatmate.
I'm a great flatmate, although I do love a prank.
Oh, yes.
So, prank wars are definitely my thing.
And my favorite prank, and you can take this with you,
is to take your ambipure and replace it with my piss
and plug it back in the wall.
Oh, my.
True story.
Wow.
Oh. You need...
2004, 2007. My prime years.
I can basically taste that the back of my throat, that anecdote.
What are your flatmates done to you to make the entire room smell of aqued piss?
They unstitched the hem of my curtain and put prongs in them.
Oh, my God. So did backup. Oh, wow. They unstitched the hem of my curtain and put prawns in them and then
I'm holding it back up.
Oh wow.
Give us one more prank of yours.
What I was going to say is sort of quite Tweet and Tweet.
I just like cut open the underside of the mattress and put the trout in it.
What a trout.
A sweet, sweet.
Very fish-based, these bricks.
I was a fish munger, Tom.
No, right, okay.
Makes a lot of sense.
I'll move over to Tom.
Now, who have you brought with you this week?
Well, people of Latitude, less than the jamborees in trouble.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
The finances are dodgy.
I had to bring in the smartest person I know to take over the account.
Mr. Glen Moore, everyone!
Glen Moore! Glen Moore Glen Moore now normally I would
ask what kind of a flatmate you are but of course you're camping. Yeah you're camping
with your girlfriend Katie who is a friend of ours a former assistant producer on the show
and she has. That's how I got booked. That's how you got booked absolutely and she asked
me to mention the fact that you came to do this podcast and fucked off to leave her to put the tent in the dark
That is
true
But thanks for giving me a great first impression
And that is the main thing she texted me just before the show and said would you mention it?
I said I'm happy. Well, she's got fucking signal. I can't get that
What kind of a flatmate are you apart from someone who leaves you go?
I'm a good forest. I'm quite of a flatmate are you apart from someone who leaves you girl for a evening?
I'm a good flatmate.
I'm quite a good flatmate because over the past few years,
I've always made sure that if I've got like a dirty plate,
I won't let it just fester in the kitchen sink.
What I will do is I will leave it in my bedroom,
and then after a while, I sort of think
I don't want to clean this up.
So what I'll do is I will then throw the plate away.
What you should do.
We don't have any plates anymore. What you should do, we don't have any plates anymore.
What you should do is unpick the person's mattress
and just slide the plate out.
Well, we have met our contestants,
but let's get on with it as I'll
be shouting during all J-Set on Sunday night.
And crack on with round one.
Oh. Oh! A lot of it, too.
You're still the best.
A street food best, your middle class heaven.
You bring us, it's a rampartry, and music that's from 2007
Ladditude, we're not even sad
You charged me 12 pounds for some pile-up. You make us cute too swimming a cold lake and
your line of so weak it made me wish for poor well-up. But let'situde where in the mood Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, Anyway, on Sunday we've got all J. They're so glad we didn't make the final.
La la la la la la la la la la
That's it, choose, live prosive words
You're left leaning and we've all noticed
But in order for all of us to be here
Drinking a beer, we've missed froms protests
Ladditude, my son, verses four youngsters too
Reminds me of when, family mattered
But with that said, what's the kids are in bed?
Let's get to the woods.
I get for compassion, butter, butter, butter, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
The Latin Kid House Band featuring Ben and Tom.
And you guys as well.
You're blessed at both of you. Round one in this latitude special is called latitude or
Twattitude yeah, that's right dad. I did a swear
What are you gonna do about it?
Pass away when I'm 15 to show
He's fine, he's alive! It was a joke!
It was a horrible joke, it's dad playing on it when he was...
Yeah!
I'm fine, it's done to my growth, sure, but...
Each player gets given a title and event description of a something happening at this year's latitude festival. That's 2018 for those of you listening in the past or
the future. More like the future, to be honest. Anyway, they must give us three
descriptions of this event, but obviously only one description is going to be
correct. The opposing team has to guess which one. So it could be a play, it could
be a workshop, it could be a workshop,
it could be some cabaret, spoken word event,
a band, almost anything, you know?
Just listing all those varied categories
has really got me thinking just how diverse
the Latitude Festival really is.
In fact, this section is sponsored
by the Latitude Festival 2018.
Latitude.
It's like BBC Six Music had a kid with your annoying mate from uni who's still a hippie.
So Ben, you're going to go first. Your event is Cookie Tongue.
So here is the real information. I've given that to you now.
Okay. Can you come up with some equally plausible false descriptions?
So Cookie Tongue is something that's happening here at the latitude festival.
Give us three descriptions and of course the opposing team is going to have to work out which are the two fake ones.
Cookie Tongue is an event happening in the new cookie tent and it's simply two celebrity chefs cook some tongues.
Okay, Chomanglen, that's the first one.
Second one is a yoga workshop to some funky beats.
Bring the long family members.
Is that a demand?
You've got to bring all your family along. My
nuns in hospital, I don't know how I'm gonna bring her. And the final one, cookie
tongue, a freaky, voki family of Brooklyn-based multi-instrumentalists. Okay, so
within country vocals. what within country vocals?
In summary and country.
That's not a real word, but let's,
I think a country can be this sort of word
you can only find in a brochure for latitude.
In can't, the country's really throwing me now.
You gotta be that.
So talk us through it.
What's your thinking process, Tom and Glenn?
Right, so whoever's called themselves cookie tongue
are insane.
Yes.
And then the last one in can't, tree is also insane, so I think called themselves cookie tongue are insane. Yes, and then the last one in country is also insane
So I think maybe it's that but also I don't remember the other two the second one's the yoga workshop
And let's it move and let's it's a yoga position the cookie tongue
Tongue or tongue. Oh don't get into that always
Yeah, we're gonna go with the time to debate. Yeah.
We're going to go with the final one.
Ben, can you reveal the encounter.
The encounter, which lyrics.
The final one was correct.
Yes.
Oh!
What does encounter mean?
Incantator is, in like, incantations.
He misread it.
Yeah, I misread it.
Yeah, he misread it.
To throw them off the scent, guys.
Hoisted by his own po-tard.
Wow.
So Glenn, you're up next and your event is titled,
Nikki Slade.
Now you've got the proper description,
but can you bamboozle Ben and Jade
into guessing wrongly?
By the way, check out bamboozle on the main stage
at 11 a.m. tomorrow.
Junkie Riffs can buy with such evocals
and some genuinely offensive between Songbanter.
So, okay, is Nikki Slade, A, the new name for the peer-to-peer online student learning
service J Store?
Could be, is it B, an inappropriately named show where the chef has a cookie for a tongue?
Or is it C, a leading pioneer in the field of chanting? Okay, Jade and Ben,
what are you thinking so far? I'm thrown! It is hard. Say that first one again.
For new name for the peer-to-peer online student learning service, J-Store.
Err, I mean it's trying to do the certain demographic in the audience.
What's a J-Store? I don't know, I just the certain demographic in the audience.
What's a J-Store? I don't know, I just read what says in the paper.
I feel like it's that third one.
What?
I tell you what, what you mean?
What you confer with your team mate here?
That third one, it's right.
What was the third one?
I don't know.
What leading pioneer in the field of chanting?
Silly of yours mate.
That's like Nikki Slade sounds like someone who chants.
Does the link? I think she's all Namiya Hareng. That's like Nicky Slade sounds like someone who chants. Does the link.
I think she's all Namiahar Rengar curing it up right up in her jizzle mate.
I think is that third one?
Glenn.
Yeah.
Absolutely correct.
Absolutely correct.
I don't even know how I won then.
Well, Jade, you've got a further chance to win because your next one is Nelly needs
a holiday.
Now I've given you the proper blurb, so let's see if you can hide the truth from Tom and Glen.
It's something happening here at the Latitude Festival.
Um, so in my hand?
In your hand?
Is the real one?
In your hand is the real one.
In your mind are the two fake ones.
It will be crazy if we do it the other way, right, surely. It will be absolutely cracker jacket.
We try to make you guess and get it right and also fool them as well.
But we're not above it.
I can take that one away.
If you want to do three.
No, I got it.
Okay, you've got it.
Right.
Nelly needs a holiday is the name of the last episode of the Summer Wine.
Last summer wine. Last summer wine?
Last summer wine?
That one, that one.
Let's wait, let's just talk.
No, that's all right.
I'm never been more certain of something in my life.
Nelly needs a holiday.
Okay, very much.
Something happening at the Latitude Festival.
Yes, I know.
Hey, now, in the film tent, you dickhead.
She's going downhill on the bar top very quickly.
Nelly needs holiday.
Yeah, okay.
It's not that one.
It's not that one.
There's a musical about Belgian pop star,
who moves to London to steal jobs from other British pop stars.
Fair enough.
Or it's a book in the series of Nelly the Elephant.
LAUGHTER
I mean, feel free to guess none of them.
Yeah, or...
At this stage, feel free to guess none of the above.
At Tom of this juncture, I regret my final answer.
LAUGHTER
I mean, I think we're going to go with number two.
Jade.
Nelly needs a holiday.
It's a musical about a Belgian pop star
who moves to London to steal the job in British pop stars.
I'm so incorrect. Congratulations to Tom and Glenn there.
When's it on? It's not fun when they win, is it?
Tom, you have got...
Lickelix.
Lickelix, hot new grime star, Lickelix.
Yeah.
Lights up the sunset arena with a devastating set at half past seven.
Oh, the witchy girl.
Lickelix is a company that will not only rhyme, but they will also put down your tent.
They do high sings.
They will, they will, they will.
They're rappers, they're rappers, you put down your tent.
That's a great idea.
Sunday, not even over.
Not even.
You still want some music.
Lick-a-licks are here.
We're bringing out the polls.
We're putting them on the strolls.
We're taking it to your car. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait it to a car. Wait, you get very far. Wait, collect! Sorry!
On Sunday!
Can I just wait?
So they're not even collect.
They're not even fucking rocket-solves.
What were the two words you rhyme there?
Balls and strolls.
I'm not them!
Okay, geniuses!
You know what, that's fair enough, Tom.
Right, I've got them.
I stand corrected.
Can I just ask, do they rap while they're taking down your tent?
Yes.
They rhyme with canvas, and that's not easy to do.
LAUGHTER So you're right.
He's really nice.
Yeah, we're all thinking it.
What?
Prandt, see?
It's not easy.
Ha ha ha.
Their rhymes are in canty, it says here.
Um, or finally, liquorics.
Ice lollies are which are made of organic fruit.
What's it going to be?
The Goraim artist in the Sunset Arena at half past seven.
The gang of rappers who will take down your tent and rhyme as they do it.
Is there a main selling point?
Or ice lollies made of fruit that is crucially organic.
That's the important bit with liquorics.
You will not get any artificial fruit in your ice box.
Tom, I'm gonna stop what I can't explain.
It's real fruit, mate.
Tom, can you stop your answer for a second please?
I don't think that an organic ice lolly company
would name something liquorics.
It'd be more potential than that. What like? Like lolly company would name something lick a lick it be more potential than that what like like lolly
That's a classic lick a lick. Yeah, that's that's very linear
I think the lolly
I'm gonna go with you for this round. All right. Let's go lolly, please
Ben and Jade have gone for lolly. It's the lolly
Ben and J have come for lolly. It's the lolly.
It's the lolly after all.
It's a shame, isn't it?
It's a shame.
So who wants to start a business where we wrap
and put down people's tents on the final day of a festival?
It's a good idea.
My bad, is it?
I took it.
To also you.
I take it up.
Give us a big, give us a big hug.
You're gonna never treat me and I saw some money
and I bought some drugs and I felt real funny.
We're talking and I tell all the people. We've tell all the whole gonna put down your four-man dough
What's that TP? Let's get it to your car. It's not easy. It's not easy. Kill the man to kill the man
The house man, everybody the house man
So you say it's not easy, but I did it.
I mean, what you don't realise was Jay was doing it really well,
and then Tom just started screaming, it's not easy.
Not easy, not easy.
So, producer Ben, at the end of that round,
could we have the scores please?
You can, they're very exciting.
Are they?
It's two all!
It's two all!
Wow!
We absolutely...
It's two all!
We are three hours here.
Now streaming on Paramount Plus. But I got you picked. Ha ha ha. But I don't know what to do with those tall salads and scrambled eggs.
Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier.
Life's calling again.
New series now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Hey, this is Matthew from Pappies.
I hope you're enjoying this episode of Pappies Flakshare,
Slam Down. If you'd like to come and see a live recording, our next one is on February
11th at the Pleasants Theatre in London. You can get your tickets for that at pleasant.co.uk
That's Pleasants with a CE on the end. Yeah, we'd love to see you there. As you can hear,
it's always fun to come down to recording. I mean, this one's a bit more mad than usual,
but they usually eat a lot of fun.
So yeah, February 11th, at 7.30,
pleasant theatre, see you there.
GAY!
Let's play together!
GAY!
Let's wake up forever!
Hold on tight, hey, don't be
But nothing does your soul
GAY! Let's be together, Hold on tight, keep them big But nothing to show those Hey, to be sure to check out our team
Hey, to be where you get
Goat, Goat, Goat, Goat
Goat, Goat, Goat, Goat No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! of wink murder which we are calling stink murder. Now as you know the
last-dude festival boasts the killers as their Saturday Night Headliner. What a
cool or it would be if it was 2006. Anyway I'm gonna ask our panelists to
sing about something that stinks without naming that thing along to the
tune of a famous song by the killers their teammate has to guess what they are singing about
Okay, wow, so Tom your game latitude has been waiting for
Tom you are gonna sing about this you're gonna be singing to Glenn a rousing rendition of when you were young
Whoa
About something that smells bad have you seen it on your car there? Yes.
Okay, we have a karaoke track, DJ Bucket Lousy on the ones and twos.
Spin that wheel.
They're in good bands.
No, no, no, no. I win
You're there in a big slack lots of black bags
Something is Stanley someone's truck the way up well
You don't really go there unless you're in a car
You can't read of stuff, you take It's got to be some wood and some top
When you wear your...
Yeah!
Oh my god, Tom Perry, everybody, Tom Perry!
I mean, I think Brandon Flowers has to be deadheaded after that
But that was really amazing
Thank you and I really enjoyed it and I can't wait for the set tomorrow
Will you be joining the long stage?
So Glenn any idea you're seeing about that stink. Yeah, I felt like I was doing karaoke with someone who kidnapped me
Welcome to the last 12 years of my life. You were singing about the tip
Welcome to the last 12 years of my life. You were singing about the tip.
Yes, yes, please!
He was singing about the tip, actually correct?
That is a tip.
I think we're going to give obviously a point,
a point to...
Lovey stuff from Clarkie.
Almost missed it there.
I'm going to give a point to Glenn,
but I think out of ten for the song there,
I'm going to give seven points to Tom.
That was very strong.
Not bad. I'll take it.
Now Jade, I've got yours here.
For you, it's Pink Murder.
I would like your sing, Ben, the song, Human, but change the words, describe something pink.
Here we go, so DJ Bucket Louse on the ones and twos, will you play? play.
Now I did my best to notice what was above your knee. When you turned around early on I didn't want to look but I but sometimes I get nervous when you pull down your shorts
Touch me now, not with that
On let me go, are we human?
Or are we perfect?
I wanted to touch it But but on in the cloud of climate
My eyes were open, it's inside your shorts
Hold me now, are we human?
Or are we perfect?
Oh my God, J. Donald!
J. Donald's everybody, J. Donald's!
Such a strong rendition. Such a strong rendition.
Oh my God, sometimes I get nervous.
It's a second verse when it turns around on me, it's on your back
Down below, and shit comes out of it
Are we human?
Or are we perverts?
I want to touch it, but I can't because of me too.
And I've heard my knees looking bright at its.
Are we human?
Or are we perfect?
Great, that is. Oh my god. Oh
Oh my god Well, oh my god before bed even get a chance to guess I'm gonna give Jade 10 out of 10
The rendition that was absolutely fantastic. There's your festival moment right there
Ben any idea what Jade was singing about is it a butt is it... A butt? Is it my butt?
It's Ben's butt!
It's Ben's button!
It's my sweet butt!
Can you prove to us now that it's pink yet?
We need to prove that it's pink!
It's pink!
Oh, we're perfect!
You're right, Sir!
You're right, Sir!
I'm so sorry!
Shut them now!
We've been told of this year for this sort of behavior.
Why won't you learn?
Are we perfect?
I think the answer is yes, yes we are perfect.
So Glenn, your turn now to give us a song about someone
or something intelligent.
That's right, it's Think Murder.
Okay.
So you've got the anthem, somebody told me, it's a banger.
But Tom, can you work out who or what Glen is singing about?
Here we go.
This one goes out to his girlfriend in the dark.
I've got a hint to burn, I haven't been able to hear this.
Fuck, he got a beach to burn, I haven't been able to get this Fucking hell
This guy not up something The way you walk the fuck
Wait
This guy not up something that got me scared
I gotta tell you it's not the E.Q.S.MC Squat.
Everyone says this guy is number one.
He created the theory of evolution.
Come on!
What the hell have you got?
What the hell are you getting?
No, but what the hell are you getting?
You're right, but all you need need! I've got nothing else!
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with you? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, the first place, please, Tom Perry tell me you got this right. Somebody told me the choreographer timestein.
Oh no!
Oh you're an idiot!
Oh god!
Oh no!
Gluck it!
Take it!
Somebody told me other I'm sorry.
Other I'm sorry!
No, alright, okay, I go.
Somebody told me you your sir Isaac Newton
All right somebody told me you're Stephen whole king
No
Dickens, Dickens, who else in the first name is somebody told me I think I think Brian Cox, Brian Cox, no I tell you what we're gonna do with the audience
No, no, no, no, he needs to learn, he's got to learn from a smarter crowd
Somebody told me that you Charles Darwin for God's sake
That one, Charles Darwin, I forgot him I That one. Charles Darwin.
I forgot him.
I'm going to give Glenn though.
What do you do?
I'm going to give Glenn 8 out of 10 because everybody else got it
apart from the people on stage.
8 out of 10 but no points to Tom.
And of course a whopping one point to the audience.
Now finally, Ben.
Sing to me, Ben. It's the big one. It's Mr Brightside. For you
it's shrink murder. Now it's something that gets smaller. Jade, can you clock Ben's
shrinkage? Off we go, Mr Brightside. Yes, oh this is going off tomorrow night. Yes, please
Coming out of the fridge and I'm a doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all
I started off in a dish. How did I end up like this? It was only a dish
It was only a dish
Now I'm going in a truck
I'm breaking my eyes cuz I might stay no weight
Put your drink in it down. I must going in a trick I'm breaking my side Cause I might stay the way, but you're drinking it down
I'm not going to bed, I'm not something can say
But you're all in my head, but she's such a baby
I know, I'm rubbing on my chest now
Just going away
I just can't look, it's killing, Lord? I was like an icicle,
Don't get a living
But that's just a price of me
Destiny is calling me
Over my life's decor
I can't hold outside Right, bake cake, everybody! I hear it all about side.
Right, make car, everybody.
Come on.
Ma, ma, ma, ma.
Make car.
Now, I appreciate the what happened halfway through that was I drank a shot of
Yega and sang the actual words for the song. Effectively ruining the game so I'm
gonna give Ben 11 points for the version because it was such a strong version.
You barely changed the words.
No, but that made me...
My long duos, I get warm outside. So I'm there.
It's a fucking child star when I'll be furious.
Charles Darwin does get warm outside.
Yes, it was ice!
It was ice!
1.2J, 11.2K, what a fantastic round of just had a sting murder!
I'd say a lot.
So Ben, can we hear this score at the end of that round?
To the tune of Jenny was a friend of mine, please. No. Okay. I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter!
I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter! Now as it's exciting, as the line up to this year's Latachews 2018, and can I just say
something by the way guys, I actually like that it all ends about 2am.
I do, no honestly, who needs to stay up all night high on naughty salts and having wild
sex with strangers when you can be tucked up in a comfortable yurt?
No, it's true, a very reasonable £750 higher price.
That's right, this round is sponsored by Latitude 2018.
Helping new parents feel like they've still got it.
Anyway, there is everything to play for.
As we launch it around three, it is Beef Brothers.
Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem.
If you've got a problem, call it a beef. Beef, you've got a problem, don't call it a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a big beef.
A big beef.
Maybe we can help you beef.
I'm sorry, I can beef.
Oh, it's beef brothers.
We're each week.
We ask our palates to sort out a flat share-based beef.
And today it comes from Keith in the band.
Keith, are you there?
Yes.
Keith.
I'm here now.
So Keith writes, there's a draw where the scissors live
She uses the scissors never puts them back
scissors go missing Okay, that is our beef this time around so a Tom and Glenn you are on Keith's side Ben and Jade
You're on the side of Keith
Can I ask who is your partner? Eve? Okay, so you are on the side of Eve
Before all of that let's have a cross examination.
Keith, how often do you use scissors?
Maybe once every couple of weeks.
OK, I go to use it.
Well, I don't know.
I go to use it.
I need to.
It's them, surely.
And wherever scissors usually, but not in the place,
wherever they've been left.
Oh, anywhere.
That's the problem. I moved there to theirs recently and I'm clearly a great
person to live with because I've come in with all these systems.
So you have a second person into the house, you're coming in with all the rules.
This is rules, yeah.
You're sleeping with the enemy.
Fuck, you're not.
That is a deep reference from Tom there.
Yes.
How many how many possesses you have?
I'd say there's probably two...
Well there's one now, there's one I bought a pair of recent.
Is it a single scissor or a pair of scissors?
Sad of scissors.
It's a pair of scissors.
How far is this a knife?
I got a nice set there, a nice sail and a jaulus.
Splash there, treat you there.
Well there is fish there.
I acquired this with this. Wow. Wow. I, treat you to. Well, there is fish bites. There are a quid with this.
Wow, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Yeah, when it comes to wrapping paper how quickly do these motherfuckers glide They'll just slide through it's like the air
Which one of your parents is the one? There's a tidy one my dad is very tidy always tidy is he did ignore you a lot as a child
Well, he was busy tidying. Yeah
There we go. That's the problem. He's dealing with that all the time. Jad that is
I tell you what I hope that's enough information to make the case.
So without further ado, Glen Moore, you have a minute to begin your case.
Your minute begins now.
With just one pair of scissors in the house,
how on earth are you supposed to really cherish the people in your life?
Your father, your mother-in-law, your father-in-law, your cousins,
your nephew, your step cousins, everyone in your life
when you can't even wrap their fucking gifts.
Because your only pair of scissors is elsewhere in the property.
It could be buried in the garden before you know it could be in the shed, it could be in
the greenhouse.
The anyway that a relationship can truly work is knowing that the trust of the other person
is there with you, that implicit trust you have with the other person.
Knowing where they are are all times knowing where you are all times, and knowing exactly
where your fucking scissors are in the house.
Now, if I have those items in the house,
you can't prepare anything, you can't wrap gifts properly,
you can't cut a cabinet in half if you're having an argument,
you're going through divorce proceedings.
I mean, how is he supposed to know
who's going to get the hot end of the bath
and the cold end of the bath?
Who's going to get the front end of the cat?
You've got to have almost things in place.
10 seconds. Obviously, a relationship needs to be stable and unless you want to have always things in place. Ten seconds.
Obviously, a relationship needs to be stable, and unless you want to have those difficult
conversations in real life, you need to know exactly where the scissors are, in order
for a relationship to be healthy, in order for a relationship not to be split into.
Yes!
Yes!
Just in time.
No further questions, Your Honor.
A very strong case for the prosecution.
I now call upon Jade Adams to open the case for the defense.
Your minute begins now.
I think as you are the second tenant into the house,
you need to go into that house with listening
to what the rules are.
And if she wants to keep the scissors
somewhere that you're not into,
then maybe you need to buy an extra pair of scissors.
Because what are we talking about?
Scissors are a quid mate.
If you not got a quid, look at you. you're at Latitude Festival, I'm sure you've got
eight pounds to spend on other things other than just piella. If she wants to keep the
scissors around the house, maybe it's just a thing that she wants to do and it's like
kind of quirky and cute, you know, like you're drumming. And maybe you might just be super into the fact that you've finally got
a girl to live with you after all the years of drumming alone without someone there that
you might be able to put up with the fact that she moves scissors around the house and just
buy a set for me to the house because this is really pedantic shit and do you really want
to like split up over this do you really want to cut your relationship down the middle through this pedanticness, mate? Because I
don't think you do, because I think she's the hottest thing that's ever happened to you,
mate. That is your time, I'm afraid. That is well. Thank you,
thank you, Jane Adams. Keith, how do you think this going so far?
Both excellent arguments there. What a balanced, yeah. What a balanced man, you are Keith.
Yeah, but both of them very heavily sent to the round of applause.
I'm so sorry about that.
I went a low blow mate.
I'm so sorry about how mean I was.
I don't feel that way about you at all.
I actually quite like drumming.
Yeah.
I dated a drummer once.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I go.
His name was Hazard.
Well, okay.
We can beat that out. I don't think he's alive anymore hazard. Wow, okay. We can bleed that out.
I don't think he's alive anymore.
Oh God bless him.
Sadly, we-
Oh, with a stable surname like that, what happened?
Drumming.
Well, the rest of this round is dedicated to the memory of
**** hazards.
If anyone knew him, I'd like to say a few words.
Wait, I'm not high-hat, I'm in heaven.
You like fingering at Bristol Sample Mead Station?
Well, he's out of here.
Who does it?
Now Tom, you're going to continue the case
for the prosecution.
Yes.
Would you do it yourself?
I'm going to do it in the style of a deep-south defense lawyer
from a John Grisham novel, Mr. Spanshaw Standin.
Spanshaw Standin, presiding and indeed providing.
You'll minute, should you need it?
Begins now.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
We've heard a lot of big words from them there.
Smart lawyers over there from the big city.
Hell, temple meet, fingering around here with
simple folk. Hell, never fingered man into temple meeting my life. We do that
stuff in church. Honest folk, simple folk, let me tell you a little story here. It might help you make
the mind of about this case. Hell, you probably remembered yourself there. Story about a man
from this here town, went by the name of John Jell. You remember John Jell? John Jell was this. It's the jail.
John Jell of course.
You can't move you, you, you, the talker Mr. Jell.
Hello John Jell.
John Jell had his ideas.
Oh, there's the kind of man put a pickle in a carrot drawer.
You know what I'm saying?
Put a grape next to an egg.
John Jell. Why you haven't breakfast there John? You know what I'm saying? Put a grape next to an egg. John gel!
Why you haven't breakfast there John?
Grape in an egg?
Interesting.
Did John gel ever meet...
John gel?
He has a date, started a band.
It took him both in there.
Let me tell you about John gel.
Came back from market with a little pig. Where
you putting that pig, John Jell? In there with that there turkey. Don't go put it no
pig. In the same drawer as a turkey. Don't go put it in a turkey in a draw! Could a long story short, picking the turkey, turkey got ill.
John Jell in prison.
Put things where they're supposed to go!
No further questions, Your Honor.
John, face your stand in there, presiding and providing.
And congratulations.
And sad news about John
gel terrible the 27th Club but I was supposed to be around his house next week
and I feel gassy yeah we're gonna swap drawers and so Ben your time to do
a funny voice what Jay's got an idea do you know that guys do you know the thing tune to the incredible Hulk?
Great.
Why is this high guarantee clock he doesn't?
Just sad, play something sad and moving.
Jesse was a friend of mine.
Chris, play something sad.
Go.
Make epic.
Make epic. It's a fear, okay. Make epic. Chris, play something sad. Let's go. I'm going to pick. Make it epic.
It's a fear, okay.
Make it epic.
Your minute begins.
Right now.
Keep it cool, keep it cool.
I see what's happening here.
Keith over there.
Marching to the beat of his own drum.
But no.
He gave one simple rule.
Rule.
I see what's happening.
This is just what Keith's talking about.
This is about the old book.
Keith gave one simple rule to Eve.
Rule.
And she chose to go against that.
Some would say,
original sin.
Now we're talking. Yes, mate.
I say no.
Eaves her own person.
Feminism.
She can choose to do what she fucking wants with the scissors!
Why does she have to abide by Keith and his draw?
Keith!
Who happened to know?
Is it absoluteute Perfects?
That's right!
Are we human?
So think about that, you guys!
Poor Eve!
With her original sin and Keith in the corner beating off. I rest Benedict Clark everybody. He rest. Great.
You're very talented. So now I cannot adjudicate this case because I wanted to listen to that but I was too busy flipping through the brochure for this year's
Latitude festival. It really is an amazing festival, isn't it? In fact this section is
Spotsored by Latitude Festival, Latitude, proving that white people can still get down.
So I'm going to call upon our Latitude audience instead to adjudicate this for me.
So if you think Tom and Glenn and therefore Keith is in the right and bear in mind
it's about scissors because we've got a long way from scissors since this first
article. Oh yeah. So if you think Glenn and Tom and therefore Keith is in the right,
I'd like to applaud now
It's become about feminism. I can see this not going well
If you think Ben and Jade and therefore Eve made the best case applaud now
It goes to Eve
I'm gonna have to really examine.
I think you have to.
Self-examination.
Yeah, you've got to do it, mate.
So all that remains is for the true Friday Night Headliners,
because it wasn't Salonge, it wasn't James,
it was, of course, Tom and Ben and our flat-shear slam-down band.
They've got a take to the stage and favor us
with the biggest hit of the festival, the quick
fire round jingle.
This is the quick fire round.
This guy can really sing.
It's the round that goes really quickly,
which is why it's strange that it doesn't have a quick introduction
We can't search
We can't search
We can't search
We can't search
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We can't search
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We can't search We can't search We can't search We can't search We can't search Production still going, it should have finished by now
It should be quick, and it shouldn't be very long
But it still going, it's a cry engine, it still going
Welcome to the reception
This is the quick fire round
It's the round that goes really quickly
It goes so fast, it is the quick follow
It is the quick follow
This is the quick follow
This is the quick fire around.
The quick fire around.
It is the quick fire.
Where are you going?
Oh my god.
Where are you going?
What the, where are you going, little man?
Don't come back here.
Come back here.
Where are you going? Why would you leave?
Why would you leave right now?
Get back in the mouth.
Go get them back.
Do your job.
Go on.
Stop them from leaving.
It's the quick, for all. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, around it's called band on the pun so every answer will be a pun on a band's name. Sing along everybody We're going to be right The quick follow
The quick
Come on
The quick
Is everything up
It's up
Get off your phone, babe
Get off your phone
The quick follow
Quick The quick, full of love
Quick, full of love Quick, full of love
So, here's how it works
Every art will be a pun on a band's name If you think you have the right answer shout out your first name in lieu of buzzers
So Tom and Glenn let's practice that now Glenn Tom, okay?
Fair enough. I've got me on real bad. I mean that's unconventional, but why not?
Ben and Jade Jade oh
Jay's gone for the top of the head buzzer and why not?
Okay, here we go the quick far round band on the pun what long standing band
Fronted by Mick Jagger is comprised of tea cakes
Ben rolling scones the right is goes is correct. Oh bad
Will you be the other me just murder is constantly puffing on a doobie Tom the splits Tom the split is correct
What band who sang the song yellow
are all pensioners. Tom all play. Tom all play is correct. What band made famous by
the album Rumors? Are caught to the eating at an artist and market stall. Tom meatwood
Mac. And the whole Tom. Free would mark it. No it's not correct. Beat root Mac. No not
beat root Mac. Although I like beat Roomba. I'm it's not correct. Beat root mac. No, not beat root mac.
Although I like beat root mac,
I'm gonna give you a point for that.
Thanks.
Fleetwood.
Fleetwood Flax.
I mean, it would make me a flappy.
Flat Jack Mac.
Flat Jack Mac.
It is street food mac, of course, street food mac.
Ah.
What band is saying, little lion man, are all asses?
Tom, month of the suns.
Yes.
But.
Ha ha ha ha.
It works both ways with that one
What band front of my Debbie Harry can also be used to cast a magic spell Tom Wondy Wondy
I mean, I think Glenn's gonna raise this what girl bands goes great with the current the rice girls
Yeah, what 10 points deducted. She read it off the script there. No, I didn't. I came up with that all by myself.
Is it Nonsense?
Not good.
My scrolls, it's on the paper.
It was a ghost in his mild coma.
LAUGHTER
Nothing for Nonsense.
Nonsense doesn't make sense.
My scrolls!
Now I've realised Jadie's reading my script,
which actually explains a lot of the answers from earlier on.
No, because I only just cheated.
I'll tell you what, fair enough. This was just for J.D.
I'm an honest fucker, she is. What, Mordel and Band, famous for their album,
OK Computer, love a bit of white sliced.
Radio Bra! Radio brains, correct! One point
to the audience. What 80s pop band, for me for their hits, it's a sin and West End girls
are absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous shot boys? It is the gorgeous shot boys, yes Jade. Can
I offer an alternative girl group one for the Indian food list? Of course you can. Girls
are loo. Girls are loo, no one. Indian food. Yes, of course you can girls a Lou. Oh
Three points. It was of course the pet shop base
Here's a tough one for you guys what band whose debut album Longs was released in 2009 I made up of TV room designer Miss Lila well in Bowen and a member of the machine glad Tom Tom Lawrence
And a machine and a member of the naval infantry
Lawrence and a machine and a member of the naval infantry Lawrence and the
Regis and the marine one point to the audience. Yes, well done Lawrence and the marine
She knows
That was confusing it was confusing final one which Seminole rap group from New York which counts Chuck D and flavor
Flavre among its members. I only know Opera. Is a form of colonic irrigation.
Tom, public anima.
Public anima is correct.
Yes, yes.
That is the end of the round.
You might have slightly...
Let us find out what the scores are.
They're not strong.
Producer Ben, the final scores are...
Tom and Glen have 26.
Very strong last round.
Ben and Jade have 29. Oh
No one expected that
So so Jade and Ben other winners
Charles and they get to enjoy all the festivities of the Latitude festival
But you know what there are no losers because we're all here at the Latitude Festival
There are no losers, because we're all here at the Latitude Festival.
Shitting on other people's shit. Because...
Because at Latitude there is something for everyone who listens to a lot of six music.
Thank you to our guest, Jadams and Glen Moore.
Yes!
We have been puppies.
We will see you next time on Flashestlanddown.
I think the banner give giving a run in.
That can only mean it's the end of the show.
Come on!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown!
Flasher's Landown! Flasher's Landown! Flashes and no! Flashes and no!
Puffies, flashes, slam down featured magic pros bemen
No, can't on parry with special guest trade items
I ain't playing more like who we could use as a song
No, flashes and no, and the flashes and no
How's Paddy with your voice?
But people are leaving We're going to go in to take care of that show I'm a chef slam down, I was badly able to rise by people's allegiance
We've got to go into the field, I'm so busy
According to my shirt, top, set, pot, LP, out and to Orange Park at the British company guide
And to Tanya Harrison and all of the last huge festival, especially the amazing staff
And the speak easy, 10 having us.
Puffy Flouch has sat down as a fast brunch with the British going on the internet.
Giddy up, mate! Thank you so much!
Yes!
Horns of gentlemen, give it up for our house, mate! Oh, wow, what an abstract that was!
It was so strong, wasn't it?
I mean, none of us have... we haven't listened to it.
Never heard of it.
We've enjoyed it. We're recording this before producer Bennett edited it because it's dangerously close
to the first of the month.
And you know how?
Ben enjoys it.
I like the first of the month.
Okay, well, dear listener, listen to dear Donator dear.
We are here to say thank you for your lovely donations, your generous donations.
And as a little thank you, we're going to pick a few of your names at random and say
something nice about you that rhymes with your name.
Are we?
Yeah, okay.
Oh, there is it.
Okay, Tom, you've got the list there.
You pick a name.
I'm gonna keep things.
I'm gonna keep things.
Have a little kit first.
Rest.
Okay, and off you go.
I am gonna kick things off by saying Rob Breiner.
There really is non-finer. What a strong start
What a strong start. David McCluskey. Thank you
Jonathan Cobb. He's always on the job. Yes, likes to screw
I'm gonna say
Lindsay Fox. We love your socks
Lindsey Fox
I
Got to say hey man Lee your lovely again these are these very poor half rhymes
What about Alistair Moore?
You couldn't have done any more for us What about Alistair Moore?
You couldn't have done any more for us in full form. I'm donating rhyme.
I can't say like I'm clocking now after that.
Rhyming the word with the word.
Charlotte Clark, you're a real bright spark.
Yes.
I was enjoying this.
Alicia Petit.
Unfortunately, she's allergic to weak... Oh no!
That's a waste of time. Don't you serve that.
Hannah Brooke, one look, was all it took.
I've said lots of wrong there.
A double Ryan there to make up for my bad rhyme last time.
Sam Platt, what do we think about that?
Loads!
Nicholas Blair, look at you over there.
Thank you for sending him that photo.
I don't know why that one won't be last so much, but it really did.
What about Fran Miller Peszo?
What about him?
Fran Miller Peszo.
I tell you what?
Go, go, go! Roger best!
Sadly, you're the worst!
No, you can't do that!
Roger best!
Roger best, pass the test!
Ebre's, may you never sneeze!
Tim Fiddler!
Stop touching me!
Edward Sherry, you're always merry!
Ben Evans! thanks mate.
John Cricket, he's just the ticket.
Miss RJ Ripley, you're bright and tibbly.
Lidsy wards, I'm glad you could afford.
Next stock, he don't give a fuck.
Ryan Goodyee, you had a good year. Oh dear, we can't allow that anyway
Tobias Sears he listens with his ears
Natasha Verata. She is definitely not a father
German father
a fart. A German father. Yeah, it, uh, uh, uh, that's Charky's had a, sorry, I was like, David Morgan, it's that, the David Morgan, we know
it. I hope so. Hello, David Morgan, David Morgan, either way. Hello, David Morgan, either
way is not a rhyme clock. If you can't end on Hello, David Morgan, either way. Simon Krukshank, get yourself to the fuck bank.
And on that note, thank you to everyone who donated.
There's like 600 people who've donated.
It's really, really moving.
It's a really wonderful message as well.
Some people have a little comments to tell us
how much they enjoy the podcast.
I think we're gonna keep on doing this.
I think we're gonna keep on doing this.
So long as people keep on donating.
So be like Dave Jones and get on the dog and bones, smartphones and go to shit yeah,
shit yeah money.com and donate and you might even get your name read out and something sort
of nonsensical said about yes. What more can you ask for? Otherwise we will see you
in a few weeks with a very, very exciting announcement.
Clarkie, are you excited?
I'm so excited.
Crossby, are you excited?
I can better contain myself.
Well, here we go 2019.
It's a brand new world!
See you later!
Bye everyone!
Bye!
Now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Baby, I hear the blues, It's calling, toss salads,
It's scrambled eggs.
Y'all know how this goes.
And maybe I seem a bit confused.
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you picked.
Ha-ha-ha.
But I don't know what to do
With those toss salads and scrambled eggs.
Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier.
Life's calling again.
New series now streaming on Paramount Plus.