Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown Revisited w/ Angela Barnes & Alex Brooker (Neighbours)

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

Hello folks. You asked for it, we've all forgotten it, so we're going to have to have a Flatshare Slamdown re-rewind, when the crowd say bo... selecta Pappy's. Originally aired in January 2015, this o...ld gem is a drunken haze for all involved. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Greetings, listen to Dear, I'm Tom! I'm Ben, and I'm Matthew, and welcome to another exciting episode of a look back on a classic episode of Flash-It's Land Out episode. Well, well, well, well. Is that the title that we're going with for these? A classic look down at the... Surely you'll be more... Another classic episode of a look back on a classic episode of Flat Shirt Land. Oh, it'll be tough on me. That's quite concise for us, isn't it? Yeah, it's one of our pithy titles. LAUGHTER Well, it should always start, because it's always got to start
Starting point is 00:00:37 with Pappies Flat Shirt. So it is actually Pappies Flat Shirt, a retrospective look back on a classic episode of Flat Shirt Land Down. From the Vaults. From the Vaults, of course, and with Brackets Classic. FTV. Brackets. Brackets. And that's before we even get to who's on the episode and what the theme is.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Well, so it's a good episode. So well. Well, I've been told it's a good episode. Um. Right. Well, let's talk about the story behind this episode. Now I threw this open in the last episode when we played you at Ellis James and Paul F. Tomkins, recorded the soho theatre.
Starting point is 00:01:12 I threw it open to the listeners and said, what are episodes that you especially love? And loads of people got in touch to say the Angela Barnes Alex Brooker episode. Now I mean, we didn't really, I mean, not a clue. We love Barnes-y. Oh my God, we do we love Barnes-y. We love Brooker, of course. We should get them on as guests sometime.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I think they'd both be brilliant. I've got real high hopes for them, yeah. But the thing is, they don't return my calls anymore. So something must have happened. But no, they said, a lot of the listeners said this is a great episode. We'd love to hear it again. So we put it out. And when we sort of got together to sort of talk about our favourite moments from the episode, we couldn't really put our finger on, you know, I remember it being fun. I remember it being
Starting point is 00:02:08 boozy. I remember it being both classic Phoenix nights, a rockin' and a rollin' sweaty one doesn't know the beat. We did it in a ratio of Phoenix nights, by the way. Live from the vaults, Phoenix nights, classic Episode, do you remember? Nobody remembers. But anyway, so as I did with the last episode, I got in touch with Brooker and with Bansi to see what memories they had. So we'll start with Angela. These are Angela's memories of the Knights. Hello, Pappy's boys and Pappy's listeners.
Starting point is 00:02:47 It's Balancing here. Oh, crikey, so you're going to be playing the episode of Flatshare Slandam we did with Lovely Alex Brooker. I hate to say this because you asked me for my memories of the night and the truth is, my main memory of recording that podcast in the Phoenix was that I had a glass of red wine in front of me that kept mysteriously getting topped up and I very quickly lost track of events. I have a vague memory of you making Alex Brooker play a recorder which on reflection seems cruel and I
Starting point is 00:03:27 failure to remember getting a cab back to Crystal Palace with you guys I don't think that helps very much. I remember it was fun that's the main thing guys we were all having fun so yeah I'm quite looking forward to listening to it again and be reminded of what actually happened that night. Great, cool. That's it. Cheers, bye. So she doesn't have any memory of it either. She doesn't remember anything about it. Doesn't recall. Is this like the Area 51 of podcasting? What's like a commuted triangle?
Starting point is 00:03:59 It's like the end of the podcast. We look into that men in black flashy thing and just well you did flash the audience. You're equivalent of that men in black flashy thing is four points. Yeah, which is fair enough for me though nowadays it's about 15 minutes. That's not many of the four points anymore. 15 minutes, I could be happily telling the same anecdote, I was telling 15 minutes earlier. Um, so that was a fancy, no real recollection of the night.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Let's hope that Alex Brooker has a bit more to say on the matter, here we go. Hello, Alex Brooker here. Yeah, I don't remember much of the flat-share slander, I remember at a great time, but yeah, I don't remember much, but I think that's probably because I was drinking during it, rather than the fact it was it was six years ago. But I tell you what I do remember, the artwork to promote the podcast. Obviously, I appreciate, I don't know, the easiest
Starting point is 00:05:00 hands to draw course. I mean, they're not easy for me to draw. But yeah, the artwork gave me like a tentacle and that was kind of an interpretation of my hand that I didn't expect to see. So I looked like a bit of an alien on all of the artwork, but it's still the rest of it. It was great. I loved it. Nope, I can't remember anything either.
Starting point is 00:05:20 No. Good Lord. But it exists. I've listened back to it. It definitely happened. What? We know it happened. Well, some sound delikes just do it on our part. Let's, well, let's, let's, let's prove it to ourselves right now. Let's get into this, let's get into this baby life from the false. Let's, let's learn what happened on that fateful night. The great missing episode of Flat-shear slam down with Alex Brooker and Angela Barnes.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Matthew, what are you doing peaking out the window? So noob? Tucking on your little dick dick. Well, some new neighbours have moved in next door. Let's go and meet them. Are they Australian? No, they're not all neighbours Australians. They're on that TV show, home and away.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Let's get a bottle of wine and go over there. I've got a better idea. We get three bottles of wine and stay right here. But I drank all the wine at this morning's cocktail party. We could give them a bottle of Cillip Bang. No, we can't. It was a really good party. We need to give them something.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Let's just get another bottle of wine. Where from? We could borrow it from the neighbours. Forget the wine. One of you two is going to help me meet the neighbours. Well, it's not going to be me. I once misheard the phrase love thy neighbour. And accidentally loved my neighbours thai. Well, it's not going to be me either. I'm trying to figure out what Tom's talking about. Well, I love their thai. Love th thigh neighbor. Look, there's only one way
Starting point is 00:06:46 to settle this. Oh, we're going to have to, yes, you've guessed it. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. We're going to have to have one of those. I'm down! Hello and welcome to Flat Share Slam Down, the panel show that says, I met this flaggo in the club,
Starting point is 00:07:06 Win by the name of vegan deluxe. This ice cream was high maintenance, Winner took her out, man, it cost me a 20 bucks. Met this chick name Walnut Whip, nearly made me a six to the point off throwing up. So I called Jack Glitchip with this weak topic, Crispin, I still can't get enough. You what I want, you what I need.
Starting point is 00:07:23 I wanna taste your taste, you take you home with me You look so good good enough to eat I wonder if I can peel your back and be your fantasy What's your neighbor tell me what's your neighbor? What's your neighbor tell me what's your neighbor? What's your neighbor tell me what's your neighbor? What's your neighbor tell me what's your neighbour, what's your neighbour, tell me what's your neighbour, tell me what's your neighbour, I'm going to stand on Matthew Crossby. Wait for a wait. Where's the way, Matthew? Can I get a rewind?
Starting point is 00:07:58 And while they're under my roof, they'll be following my rules. That's it. My tenant's Tom Perry and Ben Claw. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Thank you, thank you. But it's back, back, back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ben, why are you saying no to me and the neighbours? Well, a couple of years ago, unfortunately, broke my leg. And a wheelchair band in my house. I had nothing to do. But with my binoculars, look out. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:08:21 Let's say, the back window. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Let's say the back window. LAUGHTER It's something very strange happened. Oh, yeah. The bleak's were called. And I was arrested for looking at my neighbours constantly. They were not good. Oh, that is a sad story.
Starting point is 00:08:38 It is. It is, tragically peaked in the middle. LAUGHTER Terrible. I've got an an answer, but I mean, to can't come within a hundred yards of my neighbours, which means I can't go home. Oh, no! Oh!
Starting point is 00:08:53 That's it. It's just sad ending. It had everything that I did. It had everything that I did. It had suspense, it had pathos, it had me being sarcastic over the top of it. It had a mispronunciation of pathos.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Oh, I like that. Come on. Now, erm, can I say that right? I don't know if I did. Anyway. It's coo-ed. So Tom. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Tell me and tell me true. Why is it such a chore to me in the folks next door? Well, I have steered clear to neighbours because a few years ago, a terrible crime took place in my neighbours house. Can I just say for the listeners at home, why are you threatening people with, well this is your mic set. I'm thinking this through. I can't.
Starting point is 00:09:44 I know what's down. I'm thinking this through. Okay. I'm having a second thought. I know what's happened. You forgot to repair a thing, and you're just... Here we go, here we go. So stick with me on this one, Cosby. Stick with me on this one. Terrible crime happened at my neighbor's house.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Can you imagine? The only witness being a gravy cube. LAUGHTER Now, I was put in charge of protecting the only witness to the crime that poor gravy cube became to me and he said I want to join the witness protection program and I said we're going to have to send you underground. I disguised that gravy cube and I realised I've committed a cardinal sin. For it is written, do not covert your neighbours oxo? I'm sorry, co-naut. Do not, as in covert,
Starting point is 00:10:38 you are a co-verns operations oxo. Your neighbours oxo. I mean, I'm hopefully dyslexic, but what the fuck is going on with you guys today? That is not bad. Check your Bible, guys. Any punchline that relies on the phrase, check your Bible, guys. I am not going to that gig. So, you've got guests with you this week. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:11:04 God, just lucky. It guests with you this week. Absolutely. God, just like me. It's lucky you brought them. So, before we find out, he's been making new friends. Let's meet some old friends. Who have you brought with you this week? Let's start with you, Tom. Well, guys, terrible news.
Starting point is 00:11:15 You're not going to believe this, but the jamboree is in grave danger. Oh. I know. I know. Would you believe in this day and age? We got caught without our wheelchair ramp. Oh, the council pulled us up on it.
Starting point is 00:11:29 So it's about time we take some boxes. Oh, my God. The Japanese needs were very special, ladies and gentlemen. So I called on my old friend to redress the balance. It's the legends that you would know from the last leg. It's Mr Alex Brooker, everybody! Don't look at me like that, mate. No, let's take a look.
Starting point is 00:11:59 I'll tell you what, I'm going to ask you this innocuous question. What kind of a flatmate or neighbour are you? I'm an asshole. I don't like my neighbour. The guy who lives opposite me, I've spoken to him and he's pleasant, but I dislike him. I've got my ear.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Because he seems very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very. He seems, he's flip-flops outside his door. He's like, he's told to do a man who cannot wear flip-flops. Yeah, yeah. He's so he's told to you a man who cannot wear flip flops. Yeah, yeah. He's so cool. Look at these, mate. You can't wear these, can you? You'd love a bit of this, actually. Where do you mean?
Starting point is 00:12:33 Who's the one you could have won? I don't know. But I really hold it against him. I'm a flip-flop guy, so. So you live on a block of flops? They stink his flip-flops. Yeah, so yeah, it's like we're in like a block of flats and... He's got his own, he's welcome, man.
Starting point is 00:12:47 So like, he's always put some on there. But flip-flops are perfect, you can post them. Just pop them... Pop them to his mailbox. But you know what? The next time I get boozed up on, definitely gonna do it. Bed and knock on on his door and call him a prickle knife. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:13:03 In fact, take a marker pen and write his address on the bottom. Stick a stamp on it and freak him the fuck out. LAUGHTER That is an incredible idea. I got caught fly tipping. Whoa! It's like a really small cow tipping. You get really drunk.
Starting point is 00:13:23 I broke... You know those little clothes eras that you get? I fell over in my flat and I kicked out in frustration at this era as if it was expulsed because I knew I looked a knob. So I broke it and I went to put it down in the rubbish and I put it into recycling. And some blow looked at me and he was just like, you're not meant to put that in there. Not just metal in there. And I try to do like my proper, like,
Starting point is 00:13:46 hard voice as well, obviously. And see you again. LAUGHTER Right, I've got to go. I've got to get myself back in that moment. OK. You're the guy. Sorry, you can't put that in there. It's metal in there.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Oh! Bloody hell. I gloves on as well, so he didn't know I didn't have fists. LAUGHTER Well, and, Kaki, who have you brought along Oh, that's it. Oh. I gloves on as well, so he didn't add in a fist. LAUGHTER Well, and, Clark, who have you brought along with you this week? I've brought my lovely neighbour, Miss Angela Bones. No! APPLAUSE
Starting point is 00:14:20 So, Angela, actually, you're very privy. It's the first time Clark has had a female guest on guests on that he hasn't pretended he's slept with. The one's going to say I've ticked her box, but... No! So, what kind of a neighbor are you like? Well, my flatmate, I asked my flatmate this because I was coming here and I knew you'd ask me. And she said, yeah, your brilliant flatmate should never hear, which... But I know, I'm a bit of a worrying flak makes I sleepwalk
Starting point is 00:14:46 Exciting flak made well you say that my old flatmate mark he we had an open fire in our house and he bought an axe Open fire He hit the axe when tell me where the axe was kept in case something, it's pissed me off and I killed him in my sleep. True story. Is that how sleep walkie-talkie works? I thought, surely you just sort of wand around the place. You don't sort of enact things you'd like to do. I do eat in my sleep. Do you? I do. I woke up once half a packet of butter in my hand.
Starting point is 00:15:17 I didn't need any other. I've woke up with half a packet of butter in my hand. I'm not going to take that off. I'll take your encourage. Last time going in Paris? Last time going in, we'll be happy to be in Paris. So we have met our teams. It's time to drill a small hole through an adjoining wall and spy on round one.
Starting point is 00:15:37 What the fuck? I say, handlight, where you are going, and then we can't wait for you to put our recycling We told you for the shops just the other day. But there still won't think I can never say. I hate having sex. I hate having sex. I hate having sex.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Oh yeah, and I like it. I like it. I really, really like it. When you're out, I saw it, I really, really like it. When you're at a high school, I saw it for your packages. When you first moved in, I carried your fridges. And you, you'd be no traveller at all. You're a nice looking couple, these are very thin walls. Yeah, you're having sex.
Starting point is 00:16:20 And you're having sex. Can you hear me having sex? Oh my goodness, these two, you have sex, I will not get a lucky. Don't stop! So, I've got a real problem now because I've got new neighbours and I know they listen to this podcast. So, the round one this week is the noise next door. Each team member will be given an instrument.
Starting point is 00:16:50 You're right, you're excited, excited about this round. I think that was just word for a moment, you'd invited the improperly. Don't worry about it. I forgot my time, yeah, so it's... That is a joke for four people, but it's made those two very, very happy. And those four people are in the noise next door
Starting point is 00:17:08 With you each can be given an instrument working together in your teams You have to play a famously noisy song well enough for me to guess what they're playing producer Ben and I think Tom and Ben have come up with the song titles to play And you get two points if I guess it as As always, there are further points for musicality, individuality, rock, roll, BABY BABY! And fuck you, I won't do what you're telling me! So Ben and Andrew, I think you're gonna start. You've got the recorder, you've got the cell phone,
Starting point is 00:17:38 nicer close to the mics there, folks. There we go. That's good. That's it. Clarke, can you play the other cell phone? Well, I mean... Yeah. So.... Clarke, can you play the other side of the phone? Well, I mean... Yeah. So... Bansy, can you play the recorder? No, I can play London's burning.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Oh, let's let's have a bit of London's burning for a bit again. Objection, you're on it. I don't think she can play London's burn. Please tell me I haven't got a record in a minute. Now you're fine, you're fine. I mean, I'm all believing you can achieve, but I can't. Don't worry, you will be fine. So we're going to start with Ben and Angela. Let's hear the song you're coming up with.
Starting point is 00:18:22 If I do the bit and then you do the tune, yeah? BELL RINGS Ooh, he's good! BELL RINGS That's not bad at all, I believe I know what that is. That's too good! Yeah, that is really good! That's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Wait, it smells like Team Spirit. Yeah! CHEERING Sounds like bullshit, smells like teen spirit. Yeah! Sounds like bullshit, smells like teen spirit. Hey! Smells like bullshit to me. Smells like someone practiced. Oh, wait!
Starting point is 00:18:54 Tom and Alex, you are up next. And you have got the xylophone and the swan-y whistle. Oh, yes. Now, you can decide which ones you prefer. The xylophone or swan-y whistle? The very good xylophone. Yeah, blame the xylophone you prefer. Is it a phone or 20 whistle? It's a very good side of phone. Yeah, blame the side of the phone mate. Good call.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Here we go. Oh, yeah, yeah. A famously noisy sound. I think she said to me, don't worry, I'll do the... And then motion-titting. That's the bare minimum of what you've got to do. Okay, here we go. Have you started?
Starting point is 00:19:23 If there is anybody from the DWP here, I do struggle with this. LAUGHTER I do still need the 24 hour care, which will help. Play like your benefits, don't depend on them. OK, here we go. OK, here we go, you ready? Off you go. Will you play? Three, two, three. Oh, that's not what I'm gonna do.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Start the race. One, two, one, two, three, four. Oh, I think I've got it! It's a size faction by the Rolling Stones! Oh! Oh, I knew what it was and I didn't get it! I think this is a bit of a podcast. You give people answers like, can't play and get them drunk. This is a good podcast. What are you saying?
Starting point is 00:20:29 The jingle, Samini. I don't do that so much. I think we're going to do another round of that. A barb to you, Clarkie. Would you like to do another one? Okay, go on there. I'll tell you what, to level the playing field. Should we stop it?
Starting point is 00:20:40 Let's do it. Oh, no! You fair with the bleed. Okay, give me some money, we're still. My gobs on it. Good. Most action I've had in ages. Okay, come on Alex, give me a beat at me.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Okay, so I think you're a real beat-a-blocker. I mean, come on, go. Come on, everyone. Angela and Ben, please, my my stroves will you play? And she's buying the stairway to heaven I've've got no fucking clue. Can you do me a little bit more? TAKE A BELL TAKE A BELL I'm so sorry I can't get it.
Starting point is 00:21:33 How can you get so sorry, back to your mouth? Wait, I can't get the extra open to the audience. Can the audience get it? I'm not going to help up my elbow. How dog? Hey dog, my look! No, I will not accept that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on So Tom and Alex you are the music man you come from down my way what will you play? Easy so Alex cocky yeah go Okay, go
Starting point is 00:22:26 I thought the difficulty is ready physical No, no, so it goes from heights and low on you. It goes from here, this. That's high and there's a line. Yeah. I thought the difficulty was running physical. No. Well, we knew there was a line, because didn't know when we were going to cross it. I was hoping it wouldn't be during a round fucking one. Here we go. Come on, let's do it. Let's just press it, we'll go on. Oh, I've got it, yes, it's Sevenation Army by West Rites.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Yes! I'll take a half point for those guys on that one. So if it needs to be the field of love, I think, well, I've got food poisoning at the end of that round. So, producer Ben, what are the scores? Well, after all that time and effort... ...Bend and Angel have won. Tom Alexum won in a half!
Starting point is 00:23:10 Oh, so Tom Alexum, the current leader, has put Ben and Angel on yet not knocking on the neighbours door, ...and they still everything to play for as we hurtle into round two, it's Fly Games! GAME! Let's play together! GAME! Let's play forever! Roll the dice, spin that thing, put that there! Use your toes! GAME! If you lose, you get nothing! GAME! If you win, you get go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Starting point is 00:23:43 That is the sound of the nation's catchphrase! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Some kind of incredible leader just chanting shit and loving it. Now we know the real world doesn't understand. Yeah, so waiting for the moment we all get slaughtered. Have you not read the iTunes reviews? So this week... This week we're playing our version of a classic game from our childhood. It's our take on mallets mallet only we're using an actual ball-peen hammer on Tom's head. No, we're using marshmallows in a game. We call marshmallow mallet.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Here is how we play. It's a word association game where you mustn't pause, you mustn't hesitate, but to make it harder for every correct word you say, you have to put a marshmallow in your mouth. If you pause, no marshmallow. If you pause, no marshmallow. If you hesitate, no marshmallow. If the word is not an association, no marshmallow. You have one minute on the clock and 20 marshmallows in front of you. Each one you put in your mouth is worth a point.
Starting point is 00:24:55 The winning team is the one with the most marshmallows in their mouth after a minute. Are we giving a start word? I am gonna give you the first word. So Tom and Alex, you are up first. Look at each other and go, Blair, Blair, your minute starts now and your word is. Who's going first after your word?
Starting point is 00:25:09 Let's go with you first, Tom. Your word is trousers. Legs, arms, fingers, out of all your mouth. Oh, really? You're wasting dangerous time guys, but you can say it works. What's the next one? Magnificent, you can't even put it. Benefits. Oh, right, keep going. 20 seconds left guys!
Starting point is 00:25:48 Okay, let's start again. Your next word is watermelon. Broker. Fruit. Nut. Cake. Boothfish. Tea. Forfein. Boothfish. To eat. Poor friend. Oh, that's a nice, you're a talent, right?
Starting point is 00:26:07 So, we should rename this podcast The Worst Man Alive and Friends. We actually did a pretty impressive, there's nine of those left, so you got 11 points there for that round. 11 points! APPLAUSE So, let's see how Ben and Angela do now. Look at each other and go blah, blah, blah. And I think Barnes, you can start. OK, so you're going to play the game. Your first word, your minute start, just just a second and your first word is buttons Duck it
Starting point is 00:26:52 You can't put it in before you say the words We're starting again clucky you ought to start and your word is prison jail The whole word is prison. Jail. Bait. I'm f**king... Fishing you. What was it? Frisking.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Fishing. Oh, bait, trick fishing for a tackle. Football. What was that? Football. Okay. Fuck you. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Man, I'm sorry. Sorry, what? Excuse me, is that Manity? I'm not allowing. I'm Manager, yes or? Restaurant. Gats! 10 seconds left, come on guys!
Starting point is 00:27:40 Napkin, okay, we got it. Clean! That's it. Clean. Er, tiktok. Oh, that's a time! I want to wait till end. Oh my god. If you're not going to believe this, face corner level as well! So I think that round took us a valuable lesson or at least
Starting point is 00:28:02 gave everyone immediate onset type 2 diabetes. I mean, the lesson it taught me is I'm extremely aroused by Angela St. The Word Dirty with her mouth full of things. Do you notice how all of her words were completely muffled apart from that one? Dirty. LAUGHTER producer Ben, what are the scores at the end of that round? Ben and Angela have 12 and Tom and Alex have 12 and a half.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Oh, oh, oh! Next up is round three. It's only this, it's Beef Brothers! Oh, it's a problem, I'm calling it a problem, because you've got a problem, call it a V. If you've got a beef, think we can help you from the sunny, like a beef. Yes, it's Beef Brothers, where each week we ask our parents to sort us out of flat share,
Starting point is 00:28:46 based beef, and this one comes from Hannah, who is in the audience. Are you there, Hannah? Hello. Now, Hannah's beef is this, so listen closely. Here we go. This is the nature of her problem. My boyfriend and I want to live together. I am a super-hit Londoner. He is a country-bomkin. Now, I've just looked up and there's a guy wearing a plaid shirt sat next to you. He's not cheering on a piece of straw,
Starting point is 00:29:09 but he may as well be. Is this the fellow? This is, oh my goodness, it's great. We were very ready to get both of them together at the same time. So this is going to be very exciting. Well, exciting or massively uncomfortable? Well, we'll see. She is a super-hit blunder, she says.
Starting point is 00:29:24 He is a country-bunking. He thinks we should meet in the middle in inverted commas and move to Reading. No! I think we should live in my flat in Brickston. Where should we live? Ben and Angela, you are on Hannah's side. Tom and Alex, you are on the side of the country-bunking
Starting point is 00:29:42 who is here now, so you may not get a name. Bunking, what's your name? Mark. Mark. Classic. Our country name. Or I'm a heart. Or.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Oh, my name be Mark, there be a storm of comming. So we've got time for a cross examination. Let's ask them some questions. Are you happy together? Oh. I mean, prior to today. Yeah. How. Are you happy together? Oh! I mean, prior to today, I was. Oh!
Starting point is 00:30:08 How long have you been together? Three and a half years. Whoa! OK. The cracks are beginning to show. Where'd you live at the moment in redding? No, I live the other side of I Swimton. What?
Starting point is 00:30:21 Going to Farmer be you. Mark. I actually live there because I'm in to farm a bee you. Mark. I actually live there because I'm in the military. You farm national security. Okay, so you're a military man, you travel around a lot though. Yeah. So why can't you just travel to Brixton for a bit? Sorry, that was actually conjecture. I'm sorry, that was...
Starting point is 00:30:43 But I have it, mate. Can I ask that that's tricking from the ring? I always say. It's been tricking from my memory. What part of the military are you in? I'm in the Air Force. Yaaah, he farms the sky. LAUGHTER The clouter is fields.
Starting point is 00:30:58 And bombs be his seed. LAUGHTER Yeah. Broke your on mark, sorry. Do you have any questions for three, the Hannah or Mark. Yeah, like basically you just don't want to live a verdict. And it's like you know when like you're doing nothing where when you don't want to do something but you try and meet them halfway but do you deliberately offer a shittle turn?
Starting point is 00:31:19 It's like very compelling arguments actually, yeah. Between our sleds, like military lads. Yeah. That was a military fellow. Is that what you're doing? You're giving me a crack or turtleneck? Look at me, you want to know, can't you, though? It's not like your works in Brickston, is it? You don't have to do anything there.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Pop from Seattle. That's it, yeah. I'm more forward. I'm more forward, sorry, country. No, jibber. All right, easy, easy. You are going to, you are going to defend him. We'll let you begin now, just as you go.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Oh, I guess if you work in the military, you see a lot of action around the world. The last place you want to come home to for a bit of a walk. It's Brixton, right? Yeah. You want the fields of ready. I wish to guard you and stop talking about it. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:32:09 Seems a little harsh, but I can't wait to say a second it. LAUGHTER I think I do. I think you've got enough information from Hannah and Mark here. So I'm going to call on Angela Barnes. You're going to make the case for the prosecution. You have exactly one minute and your time begins now. OK, I'm no jokifer, but I'm going to call it an angel of bars. You're going to make the case for the prosecution. You have exactly one minute and your time begins now. OK, I'm no jogifer, but I'm pretty sure Redding is not halfway between Brixton and Swindon.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Redding is pretty much Swindon. And is it the roundabouts? Is that Brixton has roundabouts? Oh, hello. I'm 25. God, you're boring, aren't you? That is conjecture, carry on with you. You're not allowed to ask him to go to the...
Starting point is 00:32:49 No, I know he's in the Air Force, and that's really hot on everything, but you could be in the Air Force, but if you live in Swindon, that negates it. If you're going to meet your halfway between Brixton and Swindon, that's got to be what? Heathrow? He's in the Air Force. I don't know if you'll be in that house. Oh, my only. I'm just trying to... He's in the air force. That's your boss' name, boss. Oh, Money, I'm just trying to... 5 seconds left.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Best of most worlds, you're within the M25, but you still got aeroplanes. That is your time. My favourite salvation sentence. You're within the M25. We still got aeroplanes. So, deal with that. You have exactly one minute,, no remember, you are on Mark's side. Massively. Alright.
Starting point is 00:33:27 First time I was taking this seriously, I love it. Okay, Brooker, your minute begins now. Well mate, I think she's banged out of order. First thing's first, living with them is an order. I get married into a week's time looking forward to it, for it's complete bullshit. I only did it for the start though, I'm depressed, you don't get as much sex, it's not spontaneous, it's the same stuff every night. And if you move to Brixton, I used to do business studies at school,
Starting point is 00:33:53 and it doesn't make business sense, from to murder. If he's a lawyer, he's an in London, why would he pay London prices? Come on, give the guy a break! Fuck! He's flying around, he's serving his country, and also I swear, I don't know if you've looked at him,
Starting point is 00:34:07 but he fucking clean up on Tinder. LAUGHTER He's a good-looking guy. He's in the air for us, I've got to make sure he's raggedly, and they're getting on a three or four thirds of me. I mean, women, sorry, I'm not that loud. LAUGHTER Yeah, no, I think, I think, mate, honestly, you tell her.
Starting point is 00:34:23 And then you say, if I think you're worth it, I'll make mate, honestly, you tell her. And then you say, I think you're worth it. I'll move that for you, pal. Oh, test the fight. Oh, yeah! APPLAUSE Well, you imagine me both slightly sexist and slightly touching in the same, man. In the same minute. Very impressive, man.
Starting point is 00:34:39 The perfect. Exactly. I'll chat very quickly to Hannah and Mark. How do you think the the case is going so far? Mark, let's start with you Are you happy? I think I got a team album. You've got a great team Missing limbs but I'm on it up there. Yeah, Hannah. How do you think the art is going? I think I might be moving to Reading Still Strap it I think I might be moving to Reading. No! Oh, well, well, well, Hannah, strap it in there. LAUGHTER There is still everything to play for Clarky.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Remember, you are on Hannah's side, you can sum up the case for the prosecution. You're minibig into now. Well, it's difficult to sum it up, because I don't know what the hell. You weren't listening. You weren't listening. It's not really. And also, I mean, Alex, this is. You weren't listening. You weren't listening. Really?
Starting point is 00:35:25 And also, I mean, Alex was very good. But I will say this, I lived in Brixton. Genuinely lived in Brixton. And it's... You're not lying. No, it's not a prank. Genuinely, did. God.
Starting point is 00:35:43 And I'll tell you what, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:35:52 I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. You're going to love Brixton. It's got a great cinema. Also, I've been to Reading, Shell. It's a fucking shithole, and I come from all the Hampton. I mean, we wrote the book on shittles.
Starting point is 00:36:16 OK, that is your tie. That is your tie. APPLAUSE Strong from class. Strong work all round, I think, so far. So, Tom, you have to conclude the case for the defense Now we'll be doing it as yourself. No, I'm gonna be doing it in the style of a I'm gonna be doing it in the style of a deep south John Grisham lawyer Mr. Fan Shaw Standard. Fan Shaw Standard, presiding and indeed providing your minutes, if he did, I was timing this.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Starts now, if you go, ladies and gentlemen, after jewelry. Yeah, yeah. I'm looking at you now. I'm a lot like you. It's that here, being confused. Come on, those big words. they've been using up there today. Hell, I don't know much about no reading.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I'm no fan of reading. I ain't never put no bricks on nobody. Except my house, building myself. I'm going to tell you something now and I'm not proud. I think it's a murder we don't care. I'm going to tell you something now and I'm not proud. I think it's a murder. I'm going to tell you something now and I'm not proud. I think it's a murder. Caught in our hands. Now I'm going to tell you something now and I'm not proud.
Starting point is 00:37:47 I can't imagine we don't care. You know what I'm going to say? You ain't never felt no more than a man. And when you take that, they're dumped there on the hillside. Fresh air on your cheeks. Smell of the dirt with the dirt. Ain't no clinical toilet shit. Hell no, quite clinical toilet shit, you mean a toilet, right?
Starting point is 00:38:18 We men of the earth, we ladies of defon. Those folks there from the big city they come down here, they tell us to wipe. Ain't no wiping in Demdebubble. Just you were never did that Demdeb wipe. Moses, they do no wipe. If he took the wipe, he used tablets. Stone tablets.
Starting point is 00:38:44 We be simple for around here. We be exodus. We be shittin' in the woods. No further questions, Your Honor. Oh, I'm glad you're standing, providing and presiding. I mean, one thing with a stone tub, it is really part in the red sea. LAUGHTER So, this has been a shocker, but we have heard some pretty compelling arguments in previous episodes, not this week. Today's been a boring... LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:39:22 Well, I wouldn't want to lose sight of myself, but that is very, very lucky. Because I'm putting in the hands of our lovely Phoenix audience. If you think Andrew and Ben and therefore Hannah is in the right applaud now. But if you think Alex, Fan Shore and Country Bunkin, Mark, has won the day, then aboard now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yay! I think, I think, Hannah may have just nudged in. Oh!
Starting point is 00:39:53 CHEERING Oh! I think, Hannah, I'm a... Mark, you're moving to Brickston, how'd you feel about it? Outwaged. LAUGHTER It's actually not that bad. I only think it's a draw and they're moving to slow. I will take that compromise, I'll give a point to each team.
Starting point is 00:40:12 But you're both lost. So, finally we arrive at the start of our quick far round. Or as regularist as called it, the halfway mark. Let's hear the drink all. This is the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly We usually do this jabagol Using Ben's guitar
Starting point is 00:40:50 But we forgot the lyrics We've left his guitar in my house And we can't be bothered toty, so as you can hear, Ben is feeling it. He usually contributes with some icing that he can do that. Because you do, Because you do, And it sounds really repetitive, Ooh, It is,
Starting point is 00:41:38 You brought in a dry bag of pasta, No expense, no expense. But okay, well it's time to get on with the quik of fire. Right. There we go. So of course in this quickfire round all the questions will be neighbour based so Tom and Alex let's hear your buzzers there here And I found a bottle. This is our worst butchering goal ever. Fire Row Wow yes, of course So the quick fire out of course all the questions will be neighbor based to Tom and Alex that's here your buzzers
Starting point is 00:42:59 Ben and Angela's here yours Okay off we go if you win the lottery won't the best way to make all your neighbours really rich too? Give them some of the money that you've won from the lottery. No, Ben, it's actually moved to a really expensive neighbourhood. What, what? Ah, that's really good. When is a vigilante group of residents like a timepiece shared between many people? Tom, a neighborhood walk.
Starting point is 00:43:27 It's a neighborhood walk, yes! Oh my goodness, it's pretty much pumpkin. Welcome to the show. I'm sorry for this. According to the song, what does everybody need? Angela. Somebody. Oh no, it's a neighbor's based around, so...
Starting point is 00:43:43 Good neighbors, I'm sorry. Ah, it is good neighbors, I'll give you a half-pointer to bark you. Oh, no! I'll call you to the song, what is a friendly way of each morning help to make? Tom, the perfect day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jesus, you'll watch the love, Nabel. According to the song, what happens when the neighbours are there for one another? SOM. That's when good neighbours become good friends.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Correct. According to the song, I like big butts and... I cannot dance. If Ed Miliband lives next door, what do you have? SOM. A... BASTARD NETTLE. No, it's a Labour neighbour.
Starting point is 00:44:25 What do you get if you have Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan living next door? Pfft. Oh, no! I've got it. It's a Jedi. No. A nice, evident, Jedi.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I like saving Labour. What do you have if you have a horse and a sheep living next door? Yes. A neighbour. A neighbour, Labour. Oh, my God. What do you have if you have a famous Yes, a neighbor a neighbor What do you what do you have if you have a famous publishing house living next door?
Starting point is 00:44:55 Tom a favor neighbor a favor a favor neighbor. Yes, I was gonna say penguin is a neighbor What do you get if you have Andre 3000 living next door? No, Tom neighbor who's been outcast. No, no one knows your neighbour. Hey, your neighbour! Yes! Hello! What do you have if you have the Highland Games living next door? I have a neighbour, Barzi Gibson!
Starting point is 00:45:18 What do you have if you have David Albon living next door? Tom. Like a guy who you like, you really love his out star of Jeremy McGuire living next door? I'm going to give it to Perry. A name of good in junior. A name of good in junior. A name of good in junior. A name of good in junior.
Starting point is 00:45:41 A name of good in junior. A name of good in junior. A name of good in junior. So that was the time with those were our questions. Before we hear the final scores, there's just time for you to squeeze in any plugs. Banzi, do you have anything you would like to plug? It's going to go out at the top of next year. Check my website and just call me D.Cott. Coyote.co.d.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Can I plug this episode of our podcast as the best podcast event? Guys, anyone listening, please do listen to the podcast. And you're promised. I'm going to go to UK. I'm going to go to UK. Can I plug this episode of our podcast as the best podcast for you there? Guys, anyone listening please do listen to the podcast. No, no hint to an irony. This is, as a podcast record, this has been fucking ace. To watch you back, my own commode, we're going to wire. It's yet, it's pronounced commode.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Termo, yeah. Rucker, anything, anything in the pipeline? Last leg back in January. Of course you're going to see any of our gigs at www.packleastcobody.com. Produce a bed, let us hear those final points. It's very close. Every one wins. That's all I want to say to you tonight.
Starting point is 00:46:42 So round one, Tom and Alex were ahead by half a point. Yeah, round two. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you.
Starting point is 00:46:52 That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. That's all I want to say to you. So Tom and Alex have to pop rounds in the neighbours for hours of tedious, small talk, whilst Barnsy and Clarky get to hang out with every little rest of the evening, so pretty much the same thing. Thanks very much to our guest Alex Brooker! Andrew Barnes! We have been Pappies! See you and you and you and you and you next time on...
Starting point is 00:47:21 LATCHING! CHEERING Pappies, latchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratch Grun and James, hey, slowy for helping out. To Orange Park, the British comedy guide is the Felix Pop having a happy flash-ass land-down. It's a first production for the British comedy guide and the internet. Cheers, everyone. Bye!
Starting point is 00:47:52 Yay! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Okay, okay, it's all coming back Come back, come back, come back, come back to me now There were moments of nothing and there were moments of doubt There were things I've never said to you There were things I've never said to you I like the way when you had to name one thing from the episode. There were moments of doubt. The one thing we can be sure about is there was a lot of doubts.
Starting point is 00:48:32 But no, the episode exists. There you go. That was it. Yeah. Right, Swansea Whistle. I mean, bear in mind, I've listened to the episode. Tom and Ben still haven't heard it. Oh yeah, yeah. To be honest, I never will. I trust this song. Really strong jingle, really strong jingle.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Oh, is that the punk rock? Yeah, good bit of punk rock. Punk rock very much. It feels like my genre of singing. Yeah, yeah. It's attitude. I've attitude over tune. I like to call it attitude.
Starting point is 00:49:04 A little bit of tune. I'm slamming it attitune. A little bit of chip. I'm a punk band actually. And we're going to be playing attitune. We're going to be playing latitude next year, which is my own festival. It's sponsored by that is to hit those sweets that you suck when you've got a solar throes. Paul Sue this. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Well, so as always, a pleasure to be back in the vaults rummaging around. Yeah. Back in Alka Pones vaults, we open up, and there's nothing inside. If you enjoy these podcasts, then please do get along to the Patreon, where we're putting out brand new episodes, none of which we remember. Every single week we're putting out bonus episodes, and there's a ton of bonus episodes. As soon as you join, you get them immediately. In fact, I was looking through our Patreon page, and a guy got in touch to say very kindly that he had joined for a month, downloaded every episode and then on subscribe.
Starting point is 00:50:11 And I appreciate that guy's honesty. So for a fiveer, he got like 250 episodes and they just went, I'm off by. You can do that if you want. We'd prefer if you didn't because there are new episodes coming out every single week, but it's really fun over there. It's a good, it's a good... I've not got much else on it. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Forklife. Right, okay. We always try and think of a new angle. The angle this week is clarky. Forklife. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Look after this little fanatic, you know, he's not got much going on. A couple of years ago, he was riding high, he'd been nominated for a baffer, and since then you assume the phone wouldn't have stopped ringing, well quite the opposite is true. No one's calling.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Just 15 pounds. He's got the people I podcast with. Just 15 pounds or by this man four pints the equivalent of a swift blow to the head where he can forget about his misfortunes for one more night it takes about 27 minutes instantly and I think I just want to laugh that buying that sweet memory juice Polish Lager aka memory juice. Poulish Lager aka memory juice decarkey. Memory is going by by Blasio Kaisen. Anyway, so listen, we do get along because it's really,
Starting point is 00:51:36 it's really fun over at the Patreon. We have some, we've put up some really, really fun episodes and it's a lovely little community as well. People get in touch, we read our emails there, and you know, it's really fun. There's also, I don't think we speak enough of this. There's a special episode that we do called Love, Sex, Shagdown.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Oh my God. That is all sex related. And oh my God, what an erotic voyage it is. It's so erotically charged. And if you're thinking, well, I like it, Pappy's, but you're probably there with more erotic in charge than that is we've done 14 episodes of that. If you think we're all right but you're really like sex. I'd take a point because like you know when people say demons you know that
Starting point is 00:52:19 when that tweet when people go sure sex is good but if you ever tore the hamps to how to walk in a ball or whatever they do, yeah, yeah. I know the construct, I don't know that particular example. Yeah, I know the thing. Sure, sex is good. Well, like, I know, I also, have you seen that meme of, there's a girl walking with a guy
Starting point is 00:52:39 and the guy's looking back at a hamster in a ball and he goes like, what about me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, like, I tagline for Love Six, I don't know, to be like, sure, sex is good. And we talk about it all the time in this podcast. It's like, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, wrong, she-time.
Starting point is 00:53:01 It's a good, slow, good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, guyst, she-tied. It's a good, slow-good, it's a good. It's a good, guys. And if you want more of it, and if you want more of it, it's a good. It's a good. Can I just say, by the way, we're re-recording this. Like, this is the second time we've had a go at recording this intro.
Starting point is 00:53:17 The last time, we were too drunk. And this is our stone-cold sober. And it's worse. It's worse! LAUGHTER It's worse than the one we did when we were at Hammers! Oh, my God! It's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good, guys. Patreon.com, four slash pappy's flat share, get along there, and if you can't afford to join us, and I totally understand that, I just recommend this podcast to a friend.
Starting point is 00:53:40 LAUGHTER Come on mate. LAUGHTER Maybe I'll just add too much money on Hamsters, I don't know what they're up to. Those balls don't come for free, which is my wrongly charged cover album of Street Songs. I've just booked you for latitude. It was supposed to be it's a good... LAUGHTER Oh, wow. What a fitting way to end a trip to memory lane. The way that the streets reference...
Starting point is 00:54:15 ..from 2005 and the final. ..finger on the pulse, I'm there. I'm seeing this month, I can't wait. It's the first gig back. Really excited about seeing the streets. You're gigging. excited about seeing the streets. Your gig in? You're in the streets. I feel like I'm doing five at this house, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Do that man, there's push things backward, guys. Do that man, Wilson material, just before the first song kicks in. They love that. Anyway, a deep cut. Thank you for joining us in the vault. And we were in the vault. We can vaults. And we were in the vaults. We can't stress enough we were in the vaults. The time is right.
Starting point is 00:54:52 No, no, no, no, no, you're not doing, you're not doing morning radio. Don't worry about that. Today's absolutely about fate. That's never going to happen. The original recording was produced by Ben Walker. The intro-etro has been produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham. Corsham. You know who to blame Corsham team.
Starting point is 00:55:10 She is everyone. Bye! It's a good. It's a good, but thanks a lot. Will you please be upstanding for today's Patreon never would watch roll call this is for bid and love and it makes me want to sing this is for beaten love It may... Oh, it's tricky this one It's... Oh, beaten love For beaten love is so tricky
Starting point is 00:55:51 For beaten love is always tricky Oh, this is... I just realized something The context of this might be a bit strange for people Oh yes, nobody on this episode will have... That's talking about it You know, if you saw our 2010 Edinburgh show, you may, but even then, you probably won't. Oh! This is for Bidden Love. It is positively gory. This is for love. I'm talking about Hamilton Rory. Oh, sweet aloos!
Starting point is 00:56:28 Oh, sweet aloos, I'm pretty proverse. It's lipon of reverse, it's the day of love, it's the day of love. This is forbidden love. It is a love that overweighs, it is forbidden love. It is my love for Toby Chalme. I am falling in love and it makes me feel like a pret. The love I feel forbidden for this person called Nat. Oh, I have fallen hard. I've fallen deep by fallen. I feel ill. I've fallen so head of a heels for James J. Poudreel. Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho I grab her. I've also fallen in love with this beautiful man, Nick Weber.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I have fallen in love, a zoota lost water but that I have fallen in love. And I have eaten a flan and the love I have fallen is forbidden. Let me say for I fallen in love with Daniel Milaghan. Ah, to rhyme with Flan. Of course, let's not forget. Let's not forget to rhyme with him. And I say, let's not forget that I get a flan. Let's not forget I ate a flan of love
Starting point is 00:58:07 Oh, I have fallen in love Have you turned up have loafer? I have fallen in love I have he turned on a clear I have fallen in love. Oh, this this Madeline cake is heaven sent. I have fallen in love with my dear friend Colin bent Do you pay three in Madeline cake there? Madeline cake is up next to you. She really takes me back. She kicks you back. She kicks me back.
Starting point is 00:58:40 I have fallen in love. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love I have fallen in love. What is this here? Langer this goes on. I have fallen in love. With some lovely, perfitter rose.
Starting point is 00:58:58 I have fallen in love. I have dropped them on the flowers. I have fallen in love I slipped and under my nail With Klaan rich feel I'm barely new you I Fallen in love and let me tell you something else. I have stuck up my arse I love and let me tell you something else I have stuck up my arse a scorn And I have fallen in love with something else
Starting point is 00:59:30 Yes, I have fallen in love with I, Diane Oh, I have fallen in love with Avonilla slice No, don't forget And it feels quite nice To get sick-custed all over my grease Cicoc Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Wonderful time let me tell you now I have some key line pie and now let me tell you I'm going to eat it it's a real treat you cannot beat the greatest taste of any age and I will share it with my brother John Sage I fully believe with the doughnut
Starting point is 01:00:23 Let me tell you what I did with the whole in the middle. I found the doughnuts. You guys... Oh no! Pogborat! Have you done that? It's Bob Dylan Borat in the matchup that nobody wanted. You guys are the fillings of this story.
Starting point is 01:00:44 It comes with story of how to care. You guys That Anyway, I have I have put a lot into my belly and I will share them later With my good friend Jenny. A big Michael Baros in two- What do you think? I'm sorry, I'm not saying that. I was going to say Ballad of a thin man, Kinney. A big Michael Baros in two-
Starting point is 01:01:20 A big and then I get him all over and that will make me a happy man Now brow it furrows I'd like to nush off a Michael borrows He's my wife! I'd like to nush off a Michael borrows Now I have my acting nush off a Michael borrows My wife! I'd like to nush off a Michael half-ass
Starting point is 01:01:43 I'd like to nush off a Michael borrows Yuck, shun this! I'm a whore! Black and lush of my co-harp fat! Black and lush of my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp, my co-harp I have not really felt myself. It is forbidden love. Forbidden love. I started feeling up Brian Shelf. Oh Brian Shelf! He's my wife! Briss and Shelf! He's my wife!
Starting point is 01:02:20 What is your wife's fault? My wife! Boyakashan! What is your wife's favorite? Buyakasha! That concludes today's Patreon neighborhood watch Erolco! I'm a bavado, I'm a bavado. Gallag bread. Booo! Selecta!
Starting point is 01:02:40 I got nothing, nothing woman. ¡Ah, que no tiene una tibuaman!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.