Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Birthday Girls (Organise the Party) S13E01
Episode Date: February 7, 2023Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to Organise the Party… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!Matthew Crosby, Tom Parry Wicks, Ben Clark recorded live for the Cheerfu...l Earful Podcast Festival with Rose Johnson, Beattie Edmondson and Camille Ucan of The Birthday GirlsWithBirthday Girls Social - https://twitter.com/bdaygirlscomedyBirthday Girls Podcast feat. Pappys - https://podfollow.com/1533604856/episode/123f232257f58e6dc22b8c4f217c22f39c923700/viewPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Greetings! Listen here, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to the first
Pappy's Flat Share of the year. Very exciting. Oh, it's 2023 everybody and this is the first
Pappy's Flat Share. It's a flat share slam down and boy oh boy, it's a goody. It's a real goody.
It's really exciting.
We're reunited with old friends, the birthday girls.
It's sketch on sketch.
It's absolutely sketch go on sketch go yeah.
Yeah, so this is an episode we did at the brilliant
cheerful, earful festival, which happens in London in October
and November every year.
I think this is the first year they'd done it,
but they're doing it again this year, very exciting.
And the Fantastic Pub in Ballam.
Oh, the Benford in Ballam.
So it's different venue and a slightly different setup
as well because we did the Birthday Girls podcast.
They did our podcast, we did sort of podcast, Swaparuni.
And so this episode is Tom and Camille on a team and Ben and Beaty
are on a team and then Rose and I are hosting together. I loved it.
As a set up, we went persona for persona, didn't we?
It's kind of right. I would say Ben is our Beaty. I am the Camille of Papis and Rose and
Matthew are the authoritarian dictatorship,. The less fun ones.
The straightening.
If you will.
So that's what we decided to do.
We should say, we first started working with the birthday girls.
We did GCSE bite-size in 2010 and recorded little dramas about the GCSE set text.
That's how we got to know the birthday girls.
That's right, we've grown up off the 2010s
and we've been firm friends ever since.
So this is 13 years in the making.
Yeah, it's great.
It's great to be paired back with them.
Again, it was really, really fun.
If you like them, then check out their podcast,
the birthday girls house party, which is absolutely brilliant. If you like them, then check out their podcast, The Birthday Girls House Party,
which is absolutely brilliant.
Runners up at the Chautel Awards.
I imagine.
Well, this is it.
Here's the thing, that we're recording this
the week before the Chautel Awards happen,
but this will go out on the Tuesday after the Chautel Awards,
we're up against them.
Papis Flat Share is up against Birthday Girls,
so we will know, or you will know,
we don't know now who has won the Chautenewald.
He'll be fine.
Partridge.
Yeah.
If you go into that list,
you'll, I've never heard of any other ones,
but I know Steve Cugan is, yeah.
I like Alan Parkridge.
I like Alan Parkridge as well, Tom.
He's very funny.
He's very funny.
Anyway, yeah, I hope you enjoyed this episode.
A couple of quick things.
Obviously, the Patreon continues a pace.
Get onto the Patreon guys.
Join the fun at patreon.com forward slash papi's
four quid a month.
You get a bonus episode every single...
It's a pound of week.
You get a bonus episode every single... It's a pound of wick. It's a pound of wick. It's a pound of wick.
You get a bonus episode every single week
and they're really fun.
FlatShare Pop rounds and a bunch of other bonus content
that we don't need to go into now.
But the bonus episodes are great
and there's a lovely little community
and we'd love you to join it.
So make that your news resolution
a little bit late in the year
but why not Patreon.com forward slash
Papi's flat share.
And finally, if you want to come and see
a live flat share slam down, I can tell you now
the James A. Castor, Amy Annette, flat slam, sold out.
The tickets for both the Monday and the Tuesday, sold out,
but there was still a handful,
and I'm doing a small handful of tickets,
a smidge of tickets for the 28th of February,
where you can see Catherine Boehaw and Harry Hill
go head to head in a flat share slam down
at the Phoenix in London.
Oh man alive! Two of my faves.
It's gonna be a really really fun show, so do come along to that. We'd love to see you there.
Do come and join us. Tickets from papyscomedy.com forward slash live. You can get your tickets from there.
We'd love to see you there. Come on down. Come on down, but enjoy the show. TORBOW! What is it Matthew?
What is it you little bitch?
You are a little bitch actually.
That's a strong guy.
He's a real strong dog.
Oh my god, I'm finally accepted.
You've gone for that.
Well, you've reached for the top show.
You came out, it was just my charge.
It was just my charge.
Guilty as charge, but that's not the point today.
That's not what we're trying to solve.
We've got the birthday girls.
Our dear pals, the birthday girls, coming over tonight, one of you chumps, so we're
going to the top show.
I'm going to go to the top show.
I'm going to go to the top show.
I'm going to go to the top show.
I'm going to go to the top show.
I'm going to go to the top show.
I'm going to go to the top show. I'm going to go to the top show. I'm going to go to the top show. I'm going that's not the point today. That's not what we're trying to solve.
We've got the birthday girls, our dear pals, the birthday girls,
coming over tonight, one of you chumps is going to organise the party.
Oh, it's not going to be me, little bitch.
I got it.
He's doubling down.
Yeah, he's going to make this a runner.
Why not?
It's going to be my catchphrase, no one knows.
Go on, but I'm telling you, why is it not going to be you?
I'm horrified by birthdays.
In fact, they're horrified by me.
I was invited to a surprise birthday bash.
Oh, yeah.
And apparently I got confused as to what a birthday bash was.
I thought birthday bash was what I do on the morning
of my birthday.
LAUGHTER
It was a huge surprise for everyone there.
It was a big red dot.
Smash, wasn't it?
Happy birthday, happy birthday, Martin.
Laughing and women in comedy.
Perry, what about you?
Why are you not going to all the party?
I'm not going to because the last time I threw a birthday party it was terrible.
It was a very simple, premises birthday party.
I had a craft corner on one side of the room,
where I wanted people to use a needle and thread
to turn a bed sheet into something
that you would use to steal a boat,
you know, like a sail.
If you need pen and paper, any point guys, we will.
That was on one side of the room.
And on the other side of the room,
I showed my favorite film, The Gangster Movie,
with Ray Leotter, Robert De Niro, and Joe Pesci,
and invited to the party, was ex-Primonister Theresa May,
Trigger Happy's Dom Jolley, and Dolly Parton.
But no one was doing what they were told.
Toad.
And I ended up just having to shout at people all the times.
In fact, three times I had to say,
Theresa, Dolly, Goodfellas,
Theresa, Jolly, Goodfellas,
Theresa, Dolly, Goodfellas.
And so, say all of us.
So, I'm say all of us.
Did I say Linda La Habas?
No, I didn't mention that.
Linda La Habas was there, the singer.
Linda La Habas.
Well, she was in the corner, so,
she was sewing the sale. Tom, it sounds like a wonderful part, you know, Brad, was in the corner, so you're sewing the sale.
Tom, it sounds like a wonderful part, you know, Bradgie shared the story.
There's only one way to have us, we're going to have us there though, go.
They haven't, yeah.
There's only one way to solve this.
We're going to have to have a...
Flouches!
We're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Blatches land down, we're in a flat, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come around.
Turn around.
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears.
Turn around, bright eyes.
Every now and then I fall apart.
Turn around, bright eyes.
Every now and then I fall apart.
And we need some snacks tonight
And we need some own brand vodka
And we need some diet sprite
And if you can't bring that, then soldier
And we're hanging out off very light
I'm warming up all of Vance
No one has arrived and it's quarter past nine
My social life is falling apart.
There's nothing I can do.
I totally flip to the party.
I know Zalala and Matthew Crosby.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
And I'm race and gland legend, Rose Johnson.
We are live at the cheerful, evil podcast,
Festival in Ballum. Let's meet my overstuffed pinnatas.
It's Tom Perry and Benedict Clark. Wow. They can't throw a party on their own. Who have you brought along
to stop this shindig from turning into a sausage fest? Ben? I bought my identical twin.
And it beat the inventory. And Tom? Well, the Jamboree's in danger, so I find the Leanne La Havocin personality tab.
Oh!
Come here, Lucien!
Oh, OK.
So, guys, thank you very much for coming on the show.
Beaty, we'll start with you.
What kind of a party animal are you? What do you like at a party?
Er, awful.
Oh, yeah, I can't talk us through it.
Yeah, but listen, come here on those.
I get punchy. You get, oh! We've had I'll get a punchy.
We've had some full-on fist fights.
We've had some full-on fist fights.
Oh, I've had to do this.
You're a giant card, aren't you?
Yeah.
I forgot this.
Oh, yeah.
What'd you tell them about my 30-year?
Oh, yeah.
Me and Camille had a fight, and I knocked over the DJ booth
and broke all the sound equipment.
Oh, no!
So.
Happy 30 after me!
But it is funer than it sounds. It sounds bad, but it's quite fun when it happens.
Oh yeah. At my wedding we had a fight. I had a party with him next year.
What?
From Beatsy.
Beaty beat you up at the wrong wedding.
Yeah.
What did you...
To catch the bouquet, what happens?
They're fun, isn't it?
It's a little bit of fun. It is a fun, isn't it?
It's a nice, gentle fun. It is a fun. It's a nice gentle fun fight.
Fun bruises. If you are in trouble at any point just blink in a certain way. We'll know.
We'll get you out of here safe. So Camille, what kind of a party animal are you? I'm assuming
one wearing riot gear. I think I used to be very wild. Oh yeah.
And now I'm not as bad.
What's your problem?
We have names for her different stages of drama.
Do you think?
OK, let's say.
What's our stage again?
Is Leotard.
Leotard.
Leotard.
Because once she did a shot and immediately stripped off all
of her clothes down to a Leotard.
So you had a costume change underneath.
Oh yeah.
That's planning. That's really good. That's good. That's planning.
That's really good.
That's as good as comedians.
Absolutely.
Ready to go any minutes.
Yeah.
And stage two is cataract, where her eyes just go.
Just glazed eyes.
No, there's no one there.
And are you aware of these stages coming upon you?
Are you greatest over-course you're concussed?
Because BTC.
BTC.
I can feel Leotard coming on. Oh, yeah. That's the news, though.. After that I don't know. No I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you? Because what you're drinking tonight just talk us through it.
So yeah, because I want to actually be able to talk to everyone. I'm on the orange juice elimination.
Oh, no, no, no. The lady screwdriver. That's a safe better hotel.
We'll get hammered for yours.
OK.
So it feels like we have met our guests.
Let's find out who'll be crowned, Bell of the Ball.
And who'll be Bell end of the Ball sack
as we play round one.
Woo!
APPLAUSE
In 12 years we not spoke at all But today you popped up on my wall And you barely really go on Facebook to hear
I know to find a way to say that today was your special day
So I've gotten to write a message for you birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday Happy birthday
Happy birthday
I wish to leave this once in a while
I wish to leave this once and for But there's no reason we need to do that
No need
And if we come for weeks or so
Someone in that room that you barely know
Go and have another bloody birthday Er det ikke en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, der ikke er en løb, der en løb, Oh, I love the day. Just four more verses.
Ha ha ha ha.
Don't get me wrong.
No, there is no.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
You made it twice a year.
You have to sing that tune, yeah.
So I'll buy a tone with gritty teeth
And I'll sign that card with my name beneath
And wish another fucking happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Wow
And many more
Oh beautiful
Beautiful Oh beautiful! Beautiful one!
Is it anybody's actual birthday here? Is it any... Oh, imagine if it had been.
What a birthday tree! We're going to play it again.
Let's do a name in there. Our first round is called Musical Shares.
The rules are simple. We're going to ask each player to sing about a famous musical
to the tune of a song by Popgodess, share.
Your teammate has to guess, what musical you're singing about?
A correct guess is worth two points.
We'll also be awarding a massive 10 points for performance.
So Camille, bad luck you're out of the game already.
OK.
Hey, I'm already sweating. She's just, can I just say a bit of backstory to this? Mae'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r Because that would just be you singing a share song. So prepare yourself. We might do it again.
I mean, that's not a bad round, but it's not this round.
So, Ben, you're up first.
Here's your musical.
If you could pass that down, please.
You'll be singing a solo duet of, I got you, babe.
Beaty, which musical is Ben singing about?
OK, Clarky, in your own time.
Here we go. I've never seen this musical, but I hear that it's actually very problematic.
Babe, I wear a mask.
I wear a mask.
And I wear twat.
Lovely stuff.
That's what. Lovely stuff. Well, Meetie, we've got to ask you first of all. Do you know the musical Ben was singing about it? Yes, my shoulder. My shoulder, of course, my shoulder.
That's my shoulder. He's banding about the opera.
What are we going to give Clark it open for performance? I thought it was the mask, the music.
Oh, have anyone done that?
No, you're not really wanting to, but somebody stopped them.
Climb on over.
Climb on the leader.
I'm the leader.
Shut it down.
It's not going to do better than that.
So, what are we...
What are we going to give Clark it?
I thought it was pretty strong. I thought pretty strong.
That was really strong.
Really?
That was good.
Oh, fucky, Barry.
This is actually your first time hosting this podcast.
If you thought that was pretty strong.
If you thought that was bad, you're gonna hate me.
Yeah.
And I think strong seven.
I'm gonna give it a strong seven.
Strong seven.
Strong seven, man.
It's somewhere to go.
Yeah.
There we go.
Okay, next up, it's Camille.
Here's your musical and you will be giving us your very best.
It's in his kiss, aka the soup soup song.
But Tom, what musical is she singing about?
Hold on to your hat, everybody.
Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, panic, don't panic, don't panic, panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't We need to watch that, yeah.
It's a musical, you want to know I'm gonna tell you because I love you so
I've never seen it, oh no, I've never seen it
I don't know what it's about
Oh no, I don't know what it's about
It's a little place I'm it's scary in your face, it's a little place and it's scary in your face it's a musical
oh yes it is um have it got monsters in it maybe I think it has
I've been on a birthday party I haven't seen it I think it's a film and it's a music show.
Oh, I think that there's lots of green and like maybe lots of people dress up to go and see
and it's quite calm and lots of good songs because it's a musical I'm gonna do something
You can stop whatever you want
Is it where the show is?
I'm super
I didn't want that to end, I loved it
I loved it
I loved it
I loved it
So Tom, just to remind you it is a musical
Really?
I'm really hungry I'm really hungry Tom, you heard your jingle didn't you mate? So Tom just to remind you it is a musical really
You heard your jingle didn't you mate?
Okay, so Tom what do you think the musical was?
Can we first get a round of applause for Camille who's chanplays?
That was fantastic
I think that's musical I'm thinking of. I think of me, you've had your time.
I think it's right there.
I think it's a little shopper for us.
Yeah, it's a little shopper for us.
And also, what I was thinking.
And also, Kudos to anyone that noticed that she mixed that
with the Rocky Horror picture show.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
And also, Brendan's as well.
I think Brendan did it. I thought you were saying show. That's what I was doing. I know so Brendan's as well. I'll be turning that into a...
Brendan's in it. I thought you were saying no, but no, that's all.
And also incredible fact,
is anyone been to the comedy music show, a musical here?
Yeah, it's a great show where comedians sing songs from musicals.
Tom Perry did a song from this musical,
and Camilla and I did the backing for it.
Yes.
Yes. I've come back. I've wanted backing
singers that would make me look like a good singer. I think I must have been cataracts.
What are we giving Camilla there? Because we go to the commitment was right there. You can't punish her for just being a terrible suit. Yeah. The guy of the ten has to be just commitment and gusto.
I want it.
I have no fucking commitment.
What's going on here?
I want to give her eight.
I'm going to give her eight.
Yes, yes.
Yes, yes.
I do feel like a bitch now, but I do.
Can we not make that any kind of runner in there? I do feel like I'm a bitch now, but I think...
Can we not make that any kind of runner in there?
Yeah, I just stained from that banter as a woman, but... Does she not lose a point? Because she said the word, little.
Oh!
What did Jobs wear?
Becoming...
Oh!
Dude, I was a...
I wasn't clueless for! Dude, I was a...
I was a class first line, I'm a phantom who hangs out and off the door.
Fair point.
Would you be happy to take it away from her?
I'd be happy if you did, yeah.
Okay, well, I'm afraid not my cool...
Not the spirit of the game, please.
I'm being literally awful!
Not the spirit of the game.
Not awful, with that.
It's actually down to the viewers at home watching next time.
If you think we should have a point off texting and we will sit.
What's that? I think text is Barry.
I said I'm no three four four five three seven five five.
Text Barry. If you get a text in saying the points are taken away, then text me.
If we get enough text by the break, we'll knock a point off.
Yeah, there you go.
So that's great.
So currently...
Next up.
Currently, you're on eight points.
There we go.
It's a very good service.
Currently, you're on eight points there.
Okay, BT, here is your musical.
Try not to say any of the words from the title, if you can.
We will be checking.
If I could turn back time, Ben, you are guessing the musical. Okay?
Mm-hmm.
Here we go.
If I could turn back time, in your own time.
If I could tell you this musical.
I'd say it's sad in Africa and it's about all the animals living there and stuff. He's got a friend who's a ward, huh? They say no worries, and something else.
Oh, it's a thing about animals.
I may have got lots of hair around their faces.
And that is pretty big.
Yeah.
We'll take this everybody. Lots of hair around their faces. And then, pretty big. Yeah.
Be a driver to everybody.
Yeah.
Okay, Clarky, any ideas?
Well, I had a few until they have lots of hair on their face.
Yes.
Nothing.
I did.
I believe it's the Lion King.
Yeah. The Lion King. Yeah.
The Lion King is parked.
I might have to dock a point because she did use the word the...
Oh!
Very good point.
Yes!
You've got to stick to the rules.
Oh!
Oh!
Funced by your own petal.
If you would like to say if you lose that point,
beat it, give your phone number out.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
07 9 1 7.
OK.
OK, and finally, we've got...
Wait, we know it. We've got to give...
Oh shit!
Point!
Yes, I've been on the rest of my phone number.
Oh, sorry.
What are we going to get?
I mean, it was good, but I...
It wasn't quite Camille, wasn't it?
It wasn't Camille.
Oh, my god, it wasn't Camille.
I feel like it was a very strong sepun again.
Yeah, strong sepun.
She sounded like Cher to be first.
She did sound like Cher.
I was going for that.
I was going for that.
I was going for that.
But.
OK.
Seven.
So seven points.
Yeah.
Power your own next.
Finally, Tom, here's your musical. You're giving us the big one. OK, it seven points. Yeah, power your own next. Finally, Tom, here's your musical.
You're giving us the big one. Okay, it's believe.
But what musical...
LAUGHTER
Camille, it's Tom singing about here.
How does this song start?
I know the big bit.
No matter how hard I try.
Right.
You keep pushing.
LAUGHTER
OK, ready, Tom? What's really made me last sci-fi is everyone's used their first four lines to stress that it's a musical
No, no, it's a musical Tom. It's a great thinking time
And also the rest of the song you're all sure clueless
You'd be a full not to use it Tom.
It's a musically.
It's a musically.
Okay, Tom, give us a bit of a leave please. It's hard to forget our trick or tubeless.
The price is sometimes take the piss, it's a wargen room.
And a band and a broom.
People are wearing tight trousers and they're singing about America
And someone's so keen about a shot and that's about all I've got ya
Do you know a better founding father?
Whose name is like a formula one?
I will.
Do you know about a founding father?
We all know that it's a musical.
It's a purple I need to say.
Tom Perry, everybody beautiful.
Woo!
Easy finish.
Camille, do you think you know what musical that is?
I think I do. I was really struggling until I got towards the end.
So, would a room in the toilet...
Would a room, I was like, what the...
Would a room in tight trousers?
Wouldn't be the first place. I've not seen it.
I've not seen it.
I'm pretty sure it's Hamilton. Yeah. I've not seen it. I'm pretty sure it's Hamilton.
Yeah.
I've not seen this good at it.
OK, but musicality, what do you think about it?
Well, you know what?
You really, you really embody, like, can I just say,
people listening at home, Tom was not using a vocoder there.
That was his own chops he was bringing to the table there.
Nature's vocoder, I'm trying to. I thought it was good, man.
I think it was really good.
I would say we've got to throw a point in for actually rhyming.
Yes.
Some of the lines, but also there was some real reaching for the top notes there.
Yeah, but that's...
I'm it and gave them.
Yeah.
Amazing.
I want to give him a nine.
OK, yeah.
Yes. I'm going to give you a 9 Thomas.
Yay!
Wooden room, a man with a broom.
It's good rhyming, man.
It's not on it.
Is there a month coming?
At some point, they're going to stop me.
At some point, they've got a at that stage. It's so wooden.
It's saying a wooden room, my hamilton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A wooden room where it happened, that's the song is the way.
Someone's got a sweet, the room where it happened.
I don't know.
OK, so yes, producer Emma, let's hear a little bit more
of belief and give us the scores if we could please.
Here we go
And now you've got it in you come on let's hear it
And then we have a team. Woo!
Oh, see, closey.
Closey, closey, but so Tom and Cam are in the lead,
Bart and Beaty and Ben are currently on track to poop the party.
But everything could change in part two. See you off the break.
Yes!
CHEERING
Welcome back to Flat Chairslamdown!
Yes! Flat Chairslamdown!
Before the break, Tom and Cam were in the lead, that hasn't changed and neither has our
insatiable appetite for a knees up.
So, let's separate the haz beans from the bean first as we play Round 2, it's flat games! Woo! Let's play together, games!
Let's play forever, roll the dice, spin that thing,
Put that down!
Choose your toll, games!
If you lose, you get nothing!
Games!
If you win, you get gold!
Gold!
Oh, listen to that next stop!
Gold!
This is all we could bring to your service!
Give us a series, man!
Here we go! Listen to this! It's a movement!
Next up, are you getting this?
Please let's blow your time, baby!
Bring the cat around, get these guys!
They're good for it, bring it around!
This week, we're playing our version of pin the tail on the donkey,
which we're calling spin the tail of the donkey.
We would like each team to tell a story about a donkey
one word at a time.
The opposing, this is not just thrown together guys,
the opposing team has to give them a title for the story,
plus an object and a place that must be included in their tail.
There's two points for each successfully incorporated item,
object, place and title, and there's four points
for literary merit.
So a total of 10 points on offer.
What?
Yeah, it's a lot of rules.
It's a lot of rules, Camille.
Yeah, you've got to say the words that you give me.
Yeah, kind of.
Yeah, be it.
OK.
If you do that, the four or 10 points. There is a time limit, and that is our own patience. a'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r of the story you'd like Ben and Beatie to say. It's about a donkey. You don't have to put the donkey in the title,
it just has to be about a donkey.
I don't do any one more at a time.
Isn't it called the donkey that always rhymes?
Oh.
You're right.
That's lovely talking.
It's all very human.
It's just, I think that's when it's called.
I think it was called that.
It's called the donkey that always rhymes.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
The donkey that always rhymes.
OK. And since it calls the donkey that always rhymes. Yeah, you're right. The donkey they're always rhymes.
And since it caused the donkey they're always rhymes and sounds.
Oh, God.
I've got a yes and a pair.
Yeah.
And what's the place you want to be included in this story?
A place.
Bethlehem?
Bethlehem.
Any rhymes for that?
I weird, placing a donkey in bed for you.
I've thrown you a bone there.
That's right.
Thank you, Camille.
And finally, their item.
What item do they have to include in the story?
Major Camille.
The item, let's make it food related.
Okay, okay.
Hot dog.
Okay.
What were you going to go?
Kidney beans.
Kidney beans.
What?
A veggie kidney bean made hot dog.
Okay, beautiful.
A veggie kidney bean made.
You've got from helping them to being awful.
Sorry.
A veggie kidney bean made hot dog.
And do we have to use all those words?
Yeah, you can not. I don't know. Okay. Okay, well, it's if you want the points or not.
Ben and Beaty, one word at a time, please give us the epic fail, the fable.
It was a failure. Let's not jinx this.
Listen, brain, the reviews out out the mouth the reviews are in the epic fail the epic fable of
The donkey that always rhymes and sings right
Jesus
You don't have to be on the show you don't want to make
I was trying it. You don't have to be on the show if you don't want to be.
Get an L.
The Burraskahone is on beaty today.
Docking points.
Blasphemy.
Clarkie, would you like to start us off, please?
Try not to insult the Lord.
OK.
Christ.
Ha ha ha ha.
Loved.
Hot dogs.
Too word. I'm going to allow it. I'm going to allow a hyphenated word.
Hyphenated, yeah, yeah.
So...
He...
Eight.
Some.
Hot dogs.
Is there any chance you could pick a toast slightly? Just to remind that.
Just to remind that.
Just to remind that.
Just to remind that.
Just to remind that.
If we're bored, we will stop the show.
I don't forget.
It's about a donkey, right?
We've got lovely, lovely lost parable we've had so far.
About Jesus Christ being hungry.
Instead of feeding the 5,000 who just fed himself.
But we forget about the fact,000 who just fed himself But
We forget about the fact that he had to feed himself once in a while
5,000 people don't come on a chair the hot dogs round
Okay, so we've got Jesus twice fed a hot dog, but fed himself a hot dog
But don't forget Beth the hen the donkey. Yeah, it's been corporate
Okay, we've got it all planned. Okay, so
We've got it all planned. OK.
So.
Can't take this long, surely.
He went and found his favourites.
Donkey.
And got the ball so long.
Road. Across. Bethlehem.
Oh.
Searching.
Four.
Ah.
Open.
Shop.
So.
He could buy some hot dogs.
Is that it?
I think that's it.
I think it has to be it, really.
All right.
Rosie, I bought some at class.
I saw Rosie's writing notes, but she's just been all working no play, and makes Rosa
a dull girl.
50 times over, say.
You got some of it, didn't you?
You got Bethlehem, so you get two for that.
You can have half a point for hot dog, or do I give them two?
That's generous.
Give them two.
Give them two.
You've said it so many times.
The donkey didn't rhyme, so they don't get two points for that.
When we're talking about the actual literary merit,
you told us there was going to be a donkey that rhymes in the story.
If you just let us get to that bit.
Oh, sorry.
On the go-to go.
That was the prequel story Christ buys a hot dog. This was just before he went into the musical about the hot dog. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, some revenge on Tom and Camille for that. Clarke, Beauty.
Dirty donkey.
Yeah. Or like the bigger to donkey.
No.
No.
This is being live streamed on me today.
Six people are watching this live on next time.
I'd rather be dirty than a big one.
Oh, yeah. Famous of the way off the taxi you've got. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r The houses of Parliament.
That's just a parliament.
Topical, lovely.
That's why he's talking on his papers, that is.
That's how time.
Brilliant.
And then finally, what item would you like to hear in their story?
Miracres.
Of course. Miracres. o'r ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn y Is that, or is that? Chukka chukka is hyphenated. Yeah. OK. Tom and Camille, please, one word at a time,
please, again, ask with the story of Susan,
the sex crazed donkey.
Chukka chukka.
Chukka chukka.
Chukka chukka.
It was the sound.
LAUGHTER
New rapport.
I'm afraid of me being a miscalification. I'm afraid it means... I'm afraid it means... It means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it means it incredibly, I think you do get the two points from a raccoast. I want to hear a bit more because I want to know what you're saying.
I mean, I was, let it was, it was very exciting.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll start with the Chukka Chukka.
We'll go in, we'll go in.
Oh, fuck.
Now, remember Tom, in the dynamic, it's Camilo doesn't understand the rules, okay?
That's the sort of thing.
That's what we've established here.
Don't confuse the viewers at home watching on Next Up.
So, okay.
Okay, let's go again.
Okay.
Jucka, jucka, jucka, jucka.
Jucka, jucka.
It.
What?
The.
Night.
The.
Sex.
Scandal.
In.
The.
Houses.
Apollonants.
And.
Jucka, jucka. Jucka, jucka. Jucka, jucka. Susan. The Houses of Parliament and
Susan Burst
through
Flappy pants
Okay, where there was
load
load was LOST LOST LOST LOST
OF
Donkey
SHIT
YES
Then
Michael
Go
R U P T
LIF
Truss
Off
The
BANGLES
Huh?
I don't think Lizz Truss was in the bangles. Off the... BANGLES!
Huh?
I don't think Liz Truss was in the bangles.
I think, um, no, I think she's had a few man-in-mondays, but that's her second.
George, when did she play in the bangles?
Actually, could you, can't you?
So she rub Liz Truss of the bangles and...
Then...
Her... Miraculous. Yes. You rubble his truss of the bangles and then her.
Miraculous.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
So.
What?
A.
Poodichament.
A beautiful story.
Oh yes.
Oh.
Oh.
I mean, I think you just have to be the full six points. They did mention the houses of Parliament.
Well, they didn't mention the Morakas, but does the sound count?
They did say Morakas were at the time.
They did, they did.
And I feel like we got a sense of Susan being a sex craze donkey.
Yeah, she is a four sex donkey.
They said donkey shit. She's a donkey. She passed a sex craze donkey. Yeah, she is a pork bossette, donkey, isn't that? They said donkey shit.
That's a donkey shit.
She burst her up for a flappy pants.
She burst her up pants into a low donkey shit.
And literally, what a literary merit.
It's going to be a banned book in 20 years' time.
This is it.
I mean, it felt like something that, you know,
yeah, you wouldn't be able to publish it under your own name
It'll be like primary colors the next shades of grey do you think yeah 50
I'm gonna I'm gonna give them three up for three up for four for let you merit
So So, producers, Gwyn and Emma, one word at a time, please, what has that done to the scores?
Well, the scores.
So far, Tom and Camille have 30 and Ben and have 23 23 okay you know what I'm gonna have to make
this interesting and make beef rolls worth five yeah I think we have to we
have to make people it's always worth one point and it feels like... What's the point, literally?
Literally, what's the point?
Literally, what's the point?
In fairness, what's the point of any of them?
It's a very good point, the vibe of the ballet.
In the next round, there's only one word that counts and that is the word of the law.
It's time for Be Brother!
CHEERING
If you have problems, I'm coming to problem,
If you've got a problem, call it a B. If you've got a B, maybe we can help you Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, great. Okay, now Sarah and Mary write.
Our housemate is a narcissist.
Ooh, big swing.
What if they're here?
They're watching on next up.
Our housemate is a narcissist and won't give us access to the shared bank account.
What?
I've got my vision.
Before you shout anything, Beaty.
As a lawyer, you've got to work already,
poke a face with me.
Tom and Camille, you are on Sarah and Mary's side.
Ben and Beaty, you're on the side of the narcissist, so.
Yeah.
That's what I was saying, what about?
But before we get into the what,
let's have a cross examination.
The floor's open, so. Any question? Any questions for Sarah and Mary? Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith What's the money getting spent on? What? Is the money getting spent on?
Very quick, sorry.
Can we just turn the microphone on or do something to it?
It's absolutely not your fault, Mary.
Sorry.
Hello, hello.
Yeah, there we go.
Oh, turns out it was your fault.
Can we just...
It's been getting well off the end.
Well, then you might take it.
Okay, sorry.
Ask the question again, Clark.
So, what is being taken out of the bank...
What's the bank that I've been paying for?
Er...
What's the bank that I've been paying for?
Cleaning supplies, just sort of communal things for the house,
but we don't get much say in what it goes on.
How come they're the person...
Did they set up the joint account? They've lived
in the house the longest. How much are you paying in? I actually don't know. Oh, are they
in charge of your finances? Are you in trouble? Twice if you need to. It's a surely money's
going from your account. Yeah, so we just pay like one thing, like rent and everything, but I don't know how much is rent and how much is
Oh, surely you could find that out.
Well, you would think, you would think about.
So this person is telling you how much you're paying for rent.
That's the bigger issue I'd say.
Then whether I look in the mirror or not.
Do you notice that there are, you know,
there's a good supply of cleaning products in there?
Is the money, can you be like, oh yeah, can she afford it?
Yeah, although she will only buy organic products
that they're necessarily like, what a bitch.
They're pricey, they're all.
So she cares about the planet, what a bitch.
Narcissist actually, that's the planet, I'll bitch. Narsassist actually.
That's the planet to learn.
Can you define why you think she's the nicest for me
only because I don't know what the word means?
Oh, you should talk.
That's very time.
Yeah.
Just confident, right? It's's had a good time, right?
A good time guy.
Cool.
Pretty cool.
So let me get this straight.
Stuff that's coming out is like rents, bills as well.
What kind of bills do you have?
The Reynolds Nevens lived in the real world. rents, bills as well. What kind of bills do you have?
Benels never lived in the real world.
What is a bit? Could it make me have life worse please?
It's not what our system is, and me what anything is.
So it's like for the TV, Internet, it's bills.
We know what bills are, right? I'm just going to take the song, Bill's Bill's Bill's Bill's Bill.
Just go to the other things.
I am interested in what are the narcissistic qualities
this person's feeling?
She doesn't ask many questions, I would say.
She likes to kind of talk at you.
It's more of a lack of that.
Like I said, you haven't asked us one question.
Only about it is our second question, right, you Like I say, you haven't asked us one question. Only one is asked one question, but you.
I mean, how are we?
Fine, thank you.
Struggling.
Does she ever do a little surprise like one night of the month you might have a cheeky take away?
Out of the shared count?
No, no.
No.
We're on their side.
So you don't know how much money is in this account and you don't know how much is being
spent on any of these things.
This is fascinating actually.
Do you happen to know if she listens to this podcast?
I really hope so.
She's lived there longer than you.
You moved in.
She gave you a set figure.
You just said okay.
Wait, so you sublet her?
She's the landlord, right?
No, no, she's not the landlord. Oh!
She's just the alpha tenant.
She's the alpha tenant.
Yes.
Okay.
So do you pay money into this shared account
and trust that she's paying the rent?
Yes.
You need to check with your landlord.
She's paying the rent.
Genuinely.
Yeah, we've heard enough podcasting.
Let's start this way and then really badly.
Yeah, and this might not be a problem we can sell the patchy.
It's probably the citizen's advice bureau.
But still, we must plow on, hopefully.
That is enough information for our teams to make cases. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey you're happy in the house. Sure, yeah. She runs a tight ship. Yeah.
But you're a key-short.
You're the one there, son.
Yeah, but I like to cut this person's jeep.
Of course it is.
I said interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm right at the top.
I've got your cash, by the way.
Oh, sorry.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Almost forgot.
Every single day.
Anyway.
It's time to take a photo.
Take a photo.
Take a photo. Take a photo. Take a photo. Anyway, almost forgot every single day.
Anyway, it's time to take your protection money.
It hasn't worked.
Clarke is still beating me up.
Hopefully that is enough information for our teams to make their cases.
So without further ado, we call upon Camille Uchan to begin the case for the prosecution.
Camille, you have... are you timing? Ieul yw chan, byg yn y cymewl y cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymewl yw'r cymew What? Why were you in the Magistrate School? So Camille, you can.
Your minute begins now.
Well she's clearly guilty.
Not me.
No further questions.
How long did Magistrate's court last for you?
Oh, out my left hand.
She's clearly guilty because what she's doing, I believe, is illegal.
Don't quote me on that.
Spoken like a true lawyer.
Sounds fishy to me, don't quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure it is, and I have a very good telephone manner,
and if you want to give me her number, I will ring up and pretend to be some kind of citizens advice, beautiful.
Which is also illegal, by the way, actually. That's definitely illegal. I am a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r g I think she's spending the money on little holidays for herself. Maybe a cheeky pedicure.
Have a look at her feet the next time you see her.
But I've got more time, couple of seconds. I rest my case.
Do you get points for timing because that was bang on? That was really good, yeah, yeah.
Really impressive, really impressive.
But I thought she'd know.
You don't.
You don't.
OK, so now to open the case for the defense,
I call upon Beatie Edminson, your minute begins now.
OK, so you've entered into this knowingly.
So in a way, this is on you.
This isn't her.
Where's your state agent and all this? You've just got into this and you've started paying this woman without. Mae'n gweithio yn yw. Mae'n gweithio yn yw. Mae'n gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn yw'r gweithio yn that she's doing, that you don't have to do. So, B2 would love to live with this fast.
Yeah, it sounds like a dream to me.
Someone just asked me any questions.
So that's me B.
Buys me nice eco products.
You're the narcissist.
Oh, wow!
15 seconds to sleep.
She just dropped the bombshell.
OK, Sarah and Murray, how do you feel it's going so far?
Not good.
Not good.
OK, thank you.
What are the heavier beasts you've done, I'd say?
The bombshell.
It's a good idea.
I take to clear the case for the prosecution.
Tom, are you going to be doing this as yourself?
No, I'm going to be doing it in the style of a John Grisham defence lawyer.
Oh, yeah, Mr. Fan Shaw's stand-in.
Fan Shaw's stand-in, for resigning and providing your military duty to begin now.
Ladies and gentlemen, I've to jury. I reckon now some of you are from the village there.
Johnny from the bakery.
Hold the baguette.
I'll be back in lunchtime.
I see a lot of y'all here confused by them dead lawyers there from the big city
with their fancy words and their lovely expensive eco product.
Sounds like something Canadian to me. and their lovely expensive eco product.
Sounds like something Canadian to me.
Around here we simple folk, huh?
No eco product.
They'll spit a gasoline on your hen could
chief clean the cover of your Bible.
What's gasoline, McCarves? What are you getting from the ground? Who put it there to baby Jesus? Holy Spirit gave Henry T4 the desire for the engine. You think you just made that up?
Now, listening today about this here case about
some kind of, I don't know the word, now, I don't got a system either!
So it reminds me of the story of the three little pigs. Now, not that story of the three little pigs.
The story we owned about the three little pigs.
You remember father Jonathan, he would lift up by the farm,
got himself three pigs, two little, little, little,
little runs of the little.
Hell, Bella came up to my knee then there was
their sister Bars Hawk six foot nine if she was a day
every day he'd come out throw the pale of oats into the water. He wasn't a very good farmer, farmer Jonathan.
Fed is animals mostly parrots.
Every day boss hogging in order parrots,
until one day, damn dude, london runs to the litter.
They got themselves an idea, went down charity shop,
bought themselves a big trench coat.
Next thing you know, Father Jonathan
brings in the barrage, tall gentleman, how did he do it? Comes in, does this his cap?
They bought themselves a cap from somewhere. Bosshawks never seen the lack! Gentlemen takes out a gun, shoots Bosshark!
Takes off the trench coat, two run to delirious stood on each other's shoulders.
I think you know what I'm saying, ladies and gentlemen.
The defence rests your defence grip.
I believe that was actually the prosecution rest. Thank you anyway. Can I suck it? Yeah, bang on, bang on.
I'm finally... I'm finally...
The point's for time in this time.
I'm very good, very strong.
And finally to conclude the case for the defence, we call upon Ben Clark. Your minute, Ben. Yeah, begins now. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn g situation right we were paying everybody didn't want not really sure and there were like changes in the bills
They did go up at some point and it was like I'm not really sure what's going on
But they were in charge of the joint account and at the time of moving out
We actually found that we'd like racked up like we're like a thousand pounds
Over into the overdraft
But that's totally fine because that person was Tom Perry.
So many people can do it, they can.
But seriously, I'm also, my partner at the moment, she's in charge of the bills.
Yeah, it's fine, I think it goes.
I trust her. I trust her, right? at the moment, she's in charge of the bells. Yeah, it's fine, off it goes.
I trust her.
I trust her, right?
And that's your minute off.
That's your time, Clarkie.
Very strong.
Right.
I do trust the guys, I do trust you.
Sure, you must, you should.
Now, some very strong arguments from both sides there,
but we can't make the decision ourselves as we hate justice.
Famously.
Famously, we can't.
Yeah, I can't stand the staff card.
So, instead, we're calling upon our live cheerful,
evil audience to make the call.
So, if you think Camille and Fan Shaw,
and therefore Sarah and Mary are in the right,
applaud now.
So, I'm sorry.
APPLAUSE So, I'm sorry. and Mary are in the right, applaud now. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
OK, but it's a tough sale, isn't it?
But if you think, BT and Ben and the narcissist,
I'm the lovely French of eco-projects.
Please applaud now.
CHEERING
APPLAUSE
They're really cheering at home guys. We've got to wait for the text to come in.
We can call it, but no, I think that has to go to Fanshoracameal.
Seriously, be back.
Yeah, big, big, big thanks to Sarah and Mary as well,
a big thanks to Sarah.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
How do you feel about the results?
Happy with the results?
Thread.
Yeah, it's a big e, isn't it?
It's not one we're going to solve today, really.
But, so, go home and ask a couple of questions.
Yeah, I can think of the very least.
Can we move out for the first one?
Yeah.
So, Rose, I've got to ask you, how do you feel about jingles?
Well Matthew, I like my jingles like I like my testicles.
Long!
Then Rose, my friend, you're in luck for three reasons.
What?
But first, let's hear the jingle!
This is the quickfire round.
It's the round. It goes really quickly.
Which is why it's so amusing that it has long introduction.
It's funny.
It has long introduction.
And it should be really quick.
Here's that night life.
Life lasts such a long time.
When your enjoyment of it
can sometimes be over in the blink of an eyelid
It's like the stunt show
In the blink of an eyelid
And still life goes on
Isn't life just like a flower that's lost its petals.
And the butterfly has flown away
because your twenties are over and out of your
just to the star.
It's most frequent.
Just to stalk the walks and talks.
And they're in no light at the end.
Ain't that just like the quick fire round the whole baby?
Carrying on going with no meaning at all, no message.
Meaning at all, no message.
Just telling me broken hearts that you tread on as you go.
Each question in the quickfire round is a failed love fair. Each question mark, like a dagger in your brain.
Well, let's not worry about all that now. What's gone is gone What's in front of us is nothing but the end
I hope this ends soon
Even do the quick far round
And by that I'm talking about death
Okay, well now
Let's get on with the quick fight round.
Can I make it? No, let it come in for you, alright?
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Let's not forget, folks, we're here at the Cheerful Iple Festival.
Podcasts, they're like a small, furious,
hug, be a sense of humour.
Okay, right, this is the Quickfire round,
and as our show is all about throwing a birthday
party, we're going to play a twist on yet another classic birthday party game, this is past
the parcel.
Matthew and I have wrapped up a tricky parcel of party-based trivia questions.
But rather than answering the questions themselves, our contestants are going to jump in and
pass the question to someone on the opposite team that they think will get the answer wrong.
So, if the nominated person answers correctly, they get themselves two points. But if they
answer incorrectly, the person that passed to them gets one point. So pass the question
of your peril. You could be giving the other team points, but obviously do actually pass
it, otherwise we don't have the game doesn't work. So you do have to pass it? Yes.
You have to pass it.
You can't answer it yourself.
Yeah.
Even if you know it.
It's a bit like that, you know, one word at a time.
You can't say loads of words.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
That's it.
You're passing over to somebody else.
You think might not know you.
Even if you're having a really good time.
Even if you're having a really good time.
Even if you're having a really good time.
I'm a son.
There's no account of a bottom of me here, you know, just watch what I do.
You agree. I'm afraid, yes, it has to be, it has to be that way.
Instead of buzzers, I like to shout out your first names.
Ben and Beaty, let's hear yours.
Ben.
Beaty.
Lovely.
Tom and Cam.
Tom.
Yeah.
Perfect.
So, yeah.
Do you like, does everyone understand?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you shout your name and then who you want to.
Hmm.
OK.
OK.
Off we go.
In 2015, the makers of Fox's party rings changed the recipe to make them what?
Betty Ben who would you like to pass?
Camille
Quick fire. Oh
Fox's party rings changed them to quick fire. Camille. Veg.
The answer is vegan well done Tom. No points for
in those. No points. Yeah. In the TV show Friends when they're
organising Rachel's surprise birthday party, what two things is Phoebe?
Beaty, that was Beaty. Beaty, that was Beaty. Who would have passed it?
Um, food and music? No incorrect, it was.. Food and music? No, incorrect. It was.
Cops and eyes.
Which political party proposes as one of their policies
the reintroduction of fish and chips wrapped in newspaper
to get more children reading?
Come here.
Ben.
Ben.
Sorry, can I hear it again?
Of course you can.
The reintroduction of fish and chips,
which political party proposes as one of their policies
the reintroduction of fish and chips wrapped in newspaper
to get more children reading?
Sounds like you keep.
It emigrates the monster that Ravennoody party at the Wamput Campille.
Which singers lavish Oscar party celebrated its 30th year this year?
Ben.
Ben, who do you want to pass to?
Camille.
Camille.
Which singer?
Elton John.
It's a bit out. It's a band!
It's a band!
Which former child star released the 2009 song Party in the USA?
Tom Ben.
Ben.
Former child star released the song in 2009 Party in the USA.
In the USA?
As Cully Ray Jetson.
Oh!
I'm afraid it's Miley Cyrus. That's one point to Tom.
Ah, of course it is. Also, he said Carly Rae Jetson.
In American history, which, no.
In American history, what was the location
of the infamous tea-based protest of 1770?
For me, oh.
Be Camille, who do you want to pass to?
Beaty.
Beaty.
Boston.
Correct.
Two points to Beaty.
In the movie 24-hour party, people,
who played pop in Prossari, O' Tony Wilson.
Beatty.
Who do you want to pass to?
Come here.
No.
Give us a guess.
James McAvoy.
Oh!
Really good guess, but it's not Steve Cougan.
During the party game scandal, a Downing Street staffer went to which supermarket to fill a suitcase with wine?
Beatty. Beatty, who come here?
Come here, come here.
I know this. I know this.
Yes, then tell us the answer.
I was spirit.
It's got to be fit.
Tesco's. Co-op. Sorry!
Pointy-beater.
In the great Gatsby, the title character was known for its incredibly glamorous parties,
but what's his first name?
Come here.
Come on.
Go on.
Ben.
Easy.
Great.
LAUGHTER
It's not true.
I'll give you a hard point for that.
It is of course J. Final question.
In the lyrics to S Club Party by S Club 7, what's Tina doing?
Tom, go on.
Peter.
Just going on your face in the lyrics
to what S Club party party by S Club seven what's Tina doing Tina's dancing away
Tina's doing her dance
is doing your dance the same as dancing away. Yes, come on.
I think it's fair enough we're beginning to be two points.
You're still going to win.
B.T. you didn't count on B.T.s encyclopedic knowledge of song lyrics.
And just to clarify, John's looking for romance. Paul's getting down on the floor while Hannah's screaming out for more.
That is the end of the round and the end of the game.
So before we find out the final scores, birthday girls, if you've got anything to plug.
We're doing a podcast directly after this,
which I think all of you already got tickets to.
Hi!
See you there.
Where could people find your big podcast as well?
I mean, they're literally all coming to it.
But, it's one play out, yes, next up.
What's your next up?
Yeah, hi, this is a, and hi, listeners at home.
Our podcast is called Birthday Girls House Party.
You can find it wherever you get.
Your pods.
Oh, it's me.
We're on Twitter.
Sorry, Camille, go on.
I've just said we're on Twitter, don't we?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's our Twitter?
What's our Twitter?
I'm a meeting.
I mean, Camille.
Look at the B-Day Girls comedy.
B-Day Girls comedy?
Yeah, B-Day Girls comedy.
I'm a B-Day Girls comedy. B-Day Girls comedy. Yeah, B-Day Girls comedy.
B-Day Girls comedy.
I'm on Instagram.
Yes.
As birthday girls.
House party.
House party.
Thank you to all of you guys at the Bedford Arms
Cheer for Liverpool Festival for watching.
As always, check out Papi's Patreon.
Oh no, we've got a Patreon also.
Don't worry about that one.
Check out our Patreon. Yeah, we've got... We love this time, Rose. Check out our Patreon. Oh no, we've got a Patreon also. Don't worry about that one, check out our Patreon.
We've got... We've got...
We've got their time-rows, check out our Patreon.
We've both got Patreon's. As always, check out Pappy's Patreon, Patreon.com, forward slash
Pappy's flat share.
But if you have only got enough money for one Patreon, give it to me.
It's a very good value for money. I'd be fascinated to know if they compete, but... LAUGHTER Like, subscribe, rate and review this podcast,
or just tweet recommending Pappy.
It's all of your friends.
That is so funny, you rose.
That's amazing that you said all that.
There's too much of anything.
So, producer Emma, let's hear the final scores.
Ben and Beaty have 31.5,
Tom and Camille 39.
Oh, wow!
So Ben and Beaty have to throw the party.
Well, Tom and Camille get to join us for a secret smog in the air
encubbered.
Woo! Only joking.
Everyone's invited to that.
We've been Pappies.
And we've been Birthday Girls.
See you next time on.
Flashers, welcome! We've been puppies and we've been birth they go see you next time on
I
Special guest rose Johnson Camille you China
Thanks to trials and everyone at the cheerful vehicle and the bed food Ballon. To all the wonderful folks who came to the show.
And thanks to you at home for listening.
I'm a pleasure, Stanley.
Just hit the Roosterwatch and the Elkats on the internet. Cheers everyone.
Bye!
There we go. A feast. A treasure trove.
An absolute treasure trove.
So, as we said, we did their podcast as well.
They did our podcast. We did their podcast
So if you go to the birthday girls and you listen to to their podcast, you can find our episode
I think what we'll do is if you can't be bothered to do the research then we'll stick out on the on our feed as well
Possibly later on on this week. We'll stick out an episode of
Of the birthday girls house party featuring puppies puppies as a little bonus treat for you folks.
Absolutely.
And then if you are a, if you are a patron member, you could imagine the
curry we went for afterwards.
And the fun we had there.
Oh my goodness, yeah.
It was a cracking curry, actually.
Just for the patrons to imagine.
If you're not a patron, I mean, you're not allowed to imagine that, guys.
You're not allowed to.
Get out of your mind, palis.
That's just the way it works.
And both episodes were produced by Emma Corsham.
Corsham team.
Corsham team.
Cheers, everyone.
Bye.
Well, Rodney, please, please.
Corshty, Corshty. Yes, yeah. Krusty Krusty.
Yes, yes, no worries.
So, great.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Please be upstanding for today's patron, neighborhood watch, roll, go half price to you,
my sunshine.
Yes, mong 2 mong 2.
Oh, yeah, now listen, listen, I got these.
They're, it's basically the equivalent of a French ice lolly. Oh, yeah, listen, listen, I got these. It's basically the equivalent of a French ice lolly.
It's melty-brea, in a wafer, 2.50, I got them off Daniel Jolly.
Oh, of course, Eric and Rodney, you plunker!
Rodney, you plunker.
Oh, you're plunker.
Listen, listen, I'm about to fall through the bar, so I'll make this as quick as I can.
In fact, I'm going to say it's very quickly.
I bought these LPs from Sarah Whitley.
What?
LPs?
What's that stand for?
Dell?
Long players, long players, Rodders.
Well, I've got a deal for you.
I've hidden it up my sleeves.
It's good old Sarah Graves.
It's Sarah Graves. What a deal that is.
This is...
Now, look, it looks to you like someone sat on a toboggan, right?
Oh, yes.
It doesn't.
You're all thinking it. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't.
You're all thinking it.
You're all thinking it.
It doesn't.
You're all thinking it.
It doesn't.
What is that?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan?
Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan? Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan? Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a toboggan? Why are you trying to tell me somebody sat on a tobogah's a Magan then it arrives and they've bought a picture of someone Salah's
a Magan that's the deal and it's Andrew Logan Logan Salah
This is right now I want to show you this broom it's had 15 heads and 14
different handles and
Let me see I've sold it in the north the east the west and the south
That's right, and I saw it I sold it last to Annabel Ralph
South and Ralph I think
South and Ralph is better than toboggan and Logan but in the fair enough
yeah. I'm always too much to my boy. I'm always too much to my boy.
Oh, we've got time up. This time we're going to be patriotic.
We're patriotic.
Oh, this looks like someone sitting on a sleigh. Oh, it's not kind of a thing you've got.
Well, is that just a picture of Lydia Gray?
Well, let me tell you something.
Now, you think you're looking at a bobsled.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So basically, what we do is we email people and say,
do you want to buy a bobsled, right?
And it shows up in their junk mail?
Oh, yeah, yeah
Listen, there is no bobsled or it is is it's an offshore account
Ran by Farrah is male and this time next year will be million
We'll be millionaires everybody
No, we don't tax no
VAT
No money Everybody know it, come taxed over you, TIGS! Rami! You're a blocker!
Broca!
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