Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Evelyn Mok & Tony Law (Unblock the Sink) S11E18

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to unblock the sink… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!With Tony Law and Evelyn MokEvelyn Mok - https://twitter.com/evelynmokTony... Law - https://twitter.com/mrTonyLawMAY 23rd - Pappy's Flatshare: Beef Brothers: Cold Cuts: Sausage Link https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-beef-brothers-cold-cuts-sausage-link-tickets-153364243581Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, well, well, well, greetings, listener, dear. Happy Maple Falls Day, which is something I'm trying to get started. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and I did see that on Twitter, Tom. I did see that. You sticking Maple Falls Day out. Sorry, I see you.
Starting point is 00:00:18 You're sorry. Didn't retweet it. No. I've retweeted some of your stuff recently. You've been doing some good stuff recently, but that was one I didn't know if it was some sort of code. I didn't know if you were sending out a particular message to the other degenerates.
Starting point is 00:00:37 And I didn't want in. I've been fooled by that before. Tear it on. Oh, you had an on and on. I hadn't really thought about it before I'd pressed send. It was like a knee jerk reaction to it. It was in the brain. It was on the screen.
Starting point is 00:00:58 It was up there. And honestly, that whole process lasted probably less than two seconds. Yes. A similar amount of time spent thinking whether or not I'd like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, maybe it's like shorter. I would retweet it. And I tweeted it. What percentage of your tweets do you reckon you would retweet on?
Starting point is 00:01:21 15% perhaps. That's not good on strong, isn't is that that's the amount that you do actually retweet isn't it yeah yeah that's it yeah the ones that I would retweet I do retweet and I don't do it very often but I'm a big fan at the moment of the right the tweets think what am I doing who cares don't even breastend yeah yeah all of my tweets, I like, I've had this thought, I'm like, well, you know, there's other people in the house
Starting point is 00:01:50 failing that, I'll tell it to the cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I need to get a cat tonight. Yeah, that's really dirty, yeah. Yeah. You poor bastard. You're coming home with me and you're gonna hear a lot of shit.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Um, was that a pun? You poor bastard you're coming home with me and you're gonna hear a lot of shit Was that a pun you poor bastard for cat no That's a nice bit of business there, but he's snuck it in subtle. I'd say you're what I would have retweeted that top That's that's the kind of stuff I'd read to you The problem you say I did poor cat poor bastard. I think that's good stuff. That's not bad actually. Poor poor, poor bastard. It's not a poor poor. So welcome everybody to the,
Starting point is 00:02:32 let's not get down. I just want to be able to talk to you. That is it. Let's not get down guys. Let's, I've told you now, can we please not get down? We're trying to intro the episode. You've got to get up to get down guys. Let's get up to get down guys. Well George Michael saw us that. Welcome to, welcome to Flat Share Slam Down. This was a
Starting point is 00:02:51 fun episode man. We had Tony Law and Evelyn Mock and it was great. It was two absolute diamonds. Two absolute diamonds making their flat slamslam day boo, as they say in Australia. And, and neither of them Australian. It's just a, it's a more fun way of saying the word. They're making their day boo. And they both absolutely nailed it. Yeah, it was great fun. They were really good, which is good because the three of us are not on fault. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:23 They were doing a lot of heavy lifting there, a lot of the heavy lifting. When was the last time you were there, that's the thing. Well, I can tell you the next time we will be because we've got a new time, time puts into that kind of project. The next time we will be on form will be on May the 23rd, the 23rd of this month, Sunday evening evening we're doing a very special live stream. It's a beef brothers cold cuts and the idea is we have a comic on who solves one of your beefs, send them in, beefbrotherspodcast.gml.com. They then give us a beef, another comic comes on,
Starting point is 00:03:59 they solve their beef, the first comic leaves, the next comic, solves one of the listeners' beefs, and on and on and on. So it's beef brothers, cold cuts, sausage link. Oh, it's good. It's so good we've got another title to throw in. I'm sorry. We've never met a new title we didn't immediately use. Yeah. Beef from this kind of place.
Starting point is 00:04:22 This can be great though, we're gonna have some really good guests. Socage link. And I know we haven't got time for this kind of chat, but it's very rare you have a beef sausage nowadays. I can't remember the last time I had a beef sausage. But anyway, I love a rich beef sausage. Well, let's hold on to this gold
Starting point is 00:04:36 for this special occasion that is the 23rd of May. Absolutely right. Yeah, so get your tickets for that as soon as they're available, which should be, I mean, there should be a ticket link in in this in the description of this show If I get my ass into gear this evening and make a ticket link, which I'll try and do Ah, let's enjoy the episode and we will see you don's little toot On the other side Tom Ben!
Starting point is 00:05:05 What is it Matthew? What is it you prick? Well firstly that's probably fine I'm a bit of a prick. Secondly one of you two has got to unblock the sink. Oh mate. Well it's not going to be me. It's a real race, you never suggest confidence because you want to close this sketch, do you?
Starting point is 00:05:29 You want to be the big headliner? Go on, you want to be shorter? Well, I've had a look at it, it's actually very simple, Matthew, all you have to do is pull the plug out. But unfortunately, I've decided I'm never doing that again. I decided after the hospital incident, I'm never pulling the plug again. No, Granny, what about you, Tom? Well, I'm not going to do it because for me, unblocking the sink is a very philosophical problem. I've read around it quite a lot actually.
Starting point is 00:06:07 And one of my favorite philosophers has got a really good method on how to unblock a Sink. I think it was day card. He said, what you need to do is get loads of frozen water and get it in the sink so that it gets really cold. And then what you want to do is stick a load of black tea down it, like the kind of black tea that they use a lot for breakfast teas. Not dargeeling, not saline, just another one of those teas,
Starting point is 00:06:31 but that's daycarts theory really. I sink them poor assam. Well, there's only one minute to settle this. I sink them poor assam. I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie, Drift Drosk has shown you, Tony Changes background. There's only one way to settle this Tom, we're going to have to have a... Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash!
Starting point is 00:07:01 Flash! Flash! Hello and welcome to Flashes, slow down the panel show that says, don't think I can feel that there's something wrong. You've been the sweetest part of my life for so long. I look in your eyes, there's a distant light. What's true? And you and I know there's gonna be a storm tonight.
Starting point is 00:07:27 This is getting serious. Are you thinking about you for us? Don't say what you're about to say. Look back before you leave my life Be sure to love before you close their doors Before you roll those dice Make my sink nice I'm the host of Landlord Matthew Crosby
Starting point is 00:08:03 Let's meet my tenant to a tickled sink to be here. It's Tom Pary and Benedict Clarke. Oh, hoi hoi. Make my sink nice. Make my sink nice. Not a bad start. What a journey and not a bad start. More importantly, what a destination.
Starting point is 00:08:17 We got there in the end, didn't we? We really did. What a side of the way to everything. You know what? I really felt supported there. I had a beautiful backup vocal from Erwin there. I had a little bit of musical accompaniment from Tony. You know, the guests are already paying for themselves.
Starting point is 00:08:30 They really are, which is good because I'm not paying them. So Tom, who have you brought along with you this week? Well, listen up, cross by the Jamborees in danger. Oh no, we've had a massive media backlash. We signed up for the Jamboree Super League. There's 12 Jamborees. Oh no, it's a massive media backlash. We signed up for the Jamboree Super League. There's 12 Jamborees. Oh, no. It's a top-of-the-face ticket to make it.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Oh, no. When everyone's furious, so look, we've hired someone. He's going to go out there, you know, make our PR well. Who could stay in Madder? Evelyn. Mark everybody. Evelyn. Evelyn.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Hello. Thank you so much for coming on the show. How are you doing? What a legal way, everyone. Well, yes, I wanted to wave like the Queen. Thoughts are all of our thoughts are with her now, I guess. That's also, yeah, very topical, yeah. Why does the Queen go for their sort of flat hand turned around like an or why does she do that?
Starting point is 00:09:21 Isn't it to not get tired? Oh really? She's got a congee doing it. That's what I thought. Is she allowed to switch hands? I mean, because then we she's doing it with the hand which is ever at the nearer side of the carriage. Now we don't see her.
Starting point is 00:09:34 We've got alternative hands that she can kind of, she's got a little mirror on there and she's just checking how she looks. I think she's got, there's a guy isn't there underneath her who pops his hand up and does it for her. Really? Does it like him flying, is it anyway? The Royal Waipes.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Tony Slattery. Yeah. Just popping his hand around there. With a risk of being accrued, is there some kind of weird rule that it needs to be the hand that she doesn't wipe with? What, to rule? Do you think she wipes the same way as well?
Starting point is 00:10:07 Maybe she has a way to wipe for her. Maybe she has a royal wipe or something. Well, that used to be a very distracted by Tony really. Sorry, I'm done now. I'm done now. Yeah, I'm done now. You're happy with where you are. No, because they used to be a role, didn't it, like, where there would be, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:28 the Lord of the Stool, or something, wasn't it, where he would go into the Queen's Chamber, or the King's Chamber, and literally wipe the arse. Why have you got into this? Why, yeah, why are we coming off the bus? I brought it there. I'm, I'm yes, and, I guess, Tom. Come on. Listen, that's not the reason the six blocks go, I just say that now. You're going to blow our slot on GB news?
Starting point is 00:10:54 Hey, Bocman, is that slot in good faith? I'm an undercover agent from another news that also wants you. Not another news that also want you. Not another news. Yes. The only one sticking it to the MSN. Yes. Exactly. Come with us.
Starting point is 00:11:13 So, Evelyn, thanks for coming on the show, by the way, with your regal manners. Now, are you a fan of sinks? Do you have a sink? I have two. No, I have three sinks actually. Yes, very fancy, very fancy. Really good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And talk us through your sinks in your house. Presumably we're talking, we're talking there's a bathroom, there's a kitchen, what else you got? And a kitchen. So I have two sinks in the kitchen. I have a smaller one where you can just like, you know, do the kind of non-big washes. And then I have the big one where you can go in with your... The door big washes and then the big washes. Yes, exactly. Exactly. That's how I distribute them. But obviously you talked about a bathroom sink. Yeah, because everyone did say the big one we should go in.
Starting point is 00:12:07 And I was thinking, if you're getting into the washing up, that's very thorough. If you're like, this is one of those jobs, it's just going to need me to be in with the cups as well. Evelyn, have you got a kitchen? No, have you just got a big bathroom? That small sink is the toilet, Evelyn. The big sink is the bath. You don't have a kitchen.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Now let me ask you, do you wipe yourself? I do have somebody who comes and does that. Let me just wash the dishwasher, I got it. So obviously in this lovely house that you've got with your multiple sinks, if sinks indeed they are, what kind of a person are you to live with? I am a nice person, I think, I want to believe that. Although I've heard that people like me because I cook, but also people don't like me because I cook, because I tend to cook with some Asian ingredients, like fish sauce and...
Starting point is 00:13:11 And shrimp paste. And that kind of stinks up the whole place. So people are in two minds about my cooking. And that's how I can tell if a person is racist. No, can he? LAUGHTER Yeah, let the record show that I said yes to Fish Paste. Tom was very brexiting about it. He was very none of that far enough, you know.
Starting point is 00:13:33 I know Andrew Neil would want me to say, I can't listen. No, well, is the thing, I can stand the stench of stench. He's the most stench, he's got his very stench. Wow. Come on, the thing is, if you. He's the most stench, he's got to stand. Wow. Come on, the thing is, if you get to eat it at the end, oh my God, yes please, you don't mind the smells that are going on, but if you're tolerating the bad smells
Starting point is 00:13:54 but you don't get, like, do you cook for the house? Do the food, or is the food just for you and they're having to put up with the smell? Do you see what I mean? So I do offer people some of the things that I cook, but then I think that they kind of feel guilty about saying yes, and I also know that they can feel, I kind of do it on purpose, I think,
Starting point is 00:14:14 so that they'll say no, if they... I say, can you just do me an omelette and chips, please? Yeah. You got a scum, too. That's not me. Okay, that's the takeaway down the street. You can go and do it there. Well, Evelyn, thank you for coming on the show.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Ben, who have you brought along with you this week? I've bought my ski instructor. Tony Laura! Tony Laura is here. Hey guys! How are you? I'm really good, Tony. Now, I was on a train there.
Starting point is 00:14:44 You've gone to my way to the good Tony now. I was on a train there. You've got my wings to cable car now. Is that right? You've got some sort of ski. Yeah, but I'm back because I'm now serious. He's paying tribute. He's paying tribute. He's in West Coast.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I know this is really hack to play with backdrops, but I've been hacked the whole lockdown. And I'll never I'll never stop it's like the thing that's it's probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to me is this you do you Tony you do you thank you you have we're sorry sorry sorry He's also an audio audience. Sorry, sorry, keep talking about it. Is this the podcast? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:28 It was about 30 seconds ago, I think. So Tony, before we started recording, we were talking about the theme, which is obviously unblocked the sink, and you were saying how much you enjoy washing up. Oh, sorry. I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:15:44 I love it, because there's a beginning and an end and you know what your duty is. There's no, like it's like the rest of life is so confusing, isn't it? Yeah. But if someone just goes, you just need to wash all of that up. And if you give me enough time, it'll get done. Yeah. I love it. I love it. You get into the sink as well, don't you? You get right in there. Yeah. Rob the plates on your body.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I love it. And I take a long time and I listen to podcasts. And I just, I don't know. I just love it. And we live on the third floor and out our back into the communal garden. You see some other people on the other side over there, and there's lots going on, and oh my God, I love it. Sometimes it takes me like two hours,
Starting point is 00:16:31 and there's only four humans in this flat. Home. So it's kind of like rear window. Yeah, it's like rear window, yeah. Yeah, but all the murders're in the window. Yeah, I said it but yeah, but all the murders going on in ours Can I ask you how many say do when you do it say you do the washing up job? Does the water get replenished a couple of times or do you do it all in one guy? No, I replenish it. I do I do the plates and I do glasses and then, okay, I'm gonna be honest here, I do glasses and plates. And then I replenish for all the cooking stuff.
Starting point is 00:17:12 No one's replenish it after the glasses. No, no glasses first, plates, cutlery, and then drain it, refill it. And also you drain it, refill it, you get more time. Yeah! You get more time. Yeah. You get more time on the NFL Ringer podcast. All the shut up. They shut off them, because they don't back up my,
Starting point is 00:17:34 I can't believe I gave them a shout out. Listen, let's talk about other podcasts. I know I hear you, you're successful podcasting. So Tony, where do you stand though, because I think I'm 100% behind you on washing up, love the washing up for all those reasons. I always sit like a ghost set up, you've got to go. Oh no, I'm not 100% behind you, it's flat.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I'm not. Just walk up top-miss behind him and do the grub-sit together. Just like, it doesn't matter if you're a ghost. Yeah, exactly. That's the thing. How do you feel about drying up? Because I cannot stand it. Well, we don't do it.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Just don't do it. We don't do it in a bit. We've got a great big stand. We just let it go. I remember when I traveled around Europe on coach tours and did like, I was like a tour manager. We did the old, you know, you waved, the plate comes and, you wave,
Starting point is 00:18:25 the plate comes and then you wave it until it's dry. You're in a dry, huh? Oh, nice. We don't do any of that, we don't do any towel dry. Because if you towel dry, then your towels are all stanky. It's great, isn't it? It's one of those things. If you're like on a stag do or something,
Starting point is 00:18:39 and then at the end of the stag do they go, or by the way, everyone's got a task to do. I'm always straight away doing the washing up I'm like straight away I'm just gonna do the washing up I like to wash up for hours with a hangover but if someone says oh by the way someone's a restart the washing up you're on drying up I want to kill myself I want to kill myself now because I've only ever been on one stag do oh well it was mine no one's ever invited me. I went on mine. And mine included all of storms.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Friend, there was all her friends and my friends. That was my stag do. We went to the British Museum. Yeah, there was a washing up there. Yeah, no washing up. You really me, you started to start to do so. They were amazing. You all get together and then you do loads of chores
Starting point is 00:19:23 on the Sunday. Oh, it's amazing. You do the hoover in, you do the washing. Well, on mine I had, I was so excited, Sean Locke decided to come. And there's only about nine other people, and Sean turned up and he went, what? This is it. This is what it is. No, it's cool, it's like girls and guys. And we're going to go to the British Museum, isn't that culture? It's what it is. No, yeah, it's cool. It's like girls and guys.
Starting point is 00:19:45 And we're gonna go to the British Museum, isn't that culture? And he's like, nah, this is shit. You wouldn't come to the museum. You'd only stayed at the pub across from the museum. I wanted to, how drunk were you when you went to the museum? Because usually not really, no. I was back during when I was like looking out for my mental health, so yeah, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Right, right, right, right, right. Get me this on the day of the day, oh yeah. As I was orchestrating this live, but now I think we were a bit tight. And it was wonderful, actually, the British Museum is good after just one pint, I think, if memory serves, one pint. I think, if memory serves. One pint, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Yeah, and you can really connect with whatever room you choose. It's a good thing now that the museum's will be opening up very, very soon, just to get a bit loosey goosey in the middle of the day and have a little wanderer. It's trickier because you've got it, I never have to be able to bump it literally, physically bumping into people, and you can't do that anymore.
Starting point is 00:20:46 The days of being able to bump into people and apologize. Do you know the gun? Do you know there was a time when I accidentally became friends with Mary Beard on Twitter? Oh, I... Yeah, just, it's a long story. I won't get into it, but we became sort of pals.
Starting point is 00:21:01 And then all these TV companies have gone, great idea. We're gonna get you two together the promise anytime we would get together our relationship was became based on like getting a bad hammered and just having a laugh and so we went and filmed in the middle of the night at the British Museum walking around and just just not being able to talk about just not being able to talk about I mean, I'm not like that anymore. I mean, I want you to be in bed.
Starting point is 00:21:28 It's amazing. No, it was great. Actually, it wasn't as bad as I'm making it out, but you know, it didn't get made into a show. But going around, I think it was the Pompeii exhibition. It was fantastic. She's just my hero. Anyway, there's a bit of that.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Is this still the answer to the question how many sinks do you have? I don't remember being asked that. I did not get it. I did not get it. I did not get it. Well, let's start again then. But let's not worry.
Starting point is 00:21:55 And it's not that type of a podcast, don't worry. This is the podcast. With medogas, let's find out who will sink and who will swim as we play Round 1. This round, lovely stuff, but by the way, lovely stuff. This round, and just, I'm going to bring it back guys. It's good to hear it again. This round is called LIPc Chattel. Now I'm going to ask each team some Conversation starter type questions and both players must answer simultaneously
Starting point is 00:22:53 Sinking up with one another hard to do over zoom, but that my friends is the game So points will be awarded not just for sick-vinicity But also for a good answer as well. So Tom and Evelyn you're gonna be up first and I would like you in your own time to simultaneously explain the best way to make a good first impression. The best way is easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy
Starting point is 00:23:39 easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy easy just just just just just just go go go go go go I can't wait to hear how this sentence ends. The... Strrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Okay, right, yeah, I think Synchronicity you were spot on there. It was really lovely It was really it was really syncing out. It was great. You neither one I could feel neither one was really taking the lead And that was part of the problem So you want what you gain in points for the Quinister. I'm gonna give you four for synchronicity I'm gonna give you two for the answer Tony and Ben yes, I would like to be next year Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:41 Alright I'll hold the earphone, right? Yeah, all right Tony and Ben I would like you to tell us what is your idea of a really bad day Oh God, I mean oh God Am I ready? Are you late? I mean, I mean, I'm wearing a skirt. I mean, I'm wearing a skirt. I mean, I'm wearing a skirt. I'm wearing a skirt.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Hey, I noticed this. Sorry. OK. We look pretty good now, don't we? We're not even having it actually now, though. Yeah. Well, I give you four points of a synchronicity, all right? Let's wait and find out what I give these guys.
Starting point is 00:25:24 OK, so. Give you four points for a synchronicity alright let's wait and find out what I give these guys okay so Oh, what is it, Dave? I'm just doing a little Johnny. Oh, that's really good. You know, you can take it closer to the answer, that does it. Okay, okay. What's a bad day? I'm gonna follow you this time. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Wow. About... About... Dave. For me. For me. Hee. Hee. about day for me it's weird to do all these I think so, yeah yeah, I love it
Starting point is 00:26:15 where, where is this what you were married be it's I did like I was yeah, except for yeah yeah I believe I can touch the sun I believe I can fly Spring no wings and flying when we leave I believe I can so far And I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sun
Starting point is 00:26:36 I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sun I believe I can fly I believe I can so far. We still have a print plan song. I think we all have a little bit of a tour after that. So can we stop that answer there?
Starting point is 00:26:58 I'm going to give you one point for simplicity there. I think even that seems a little over-generous. You did get a reference that a bad day is meeting our Kelly. We've got it. It's a bad day for a lot of people. Oh, God, I forgot all about it. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Sorry, he's not going to get any more. He's out of it. Tony, don't worry about it. Don't be so upset. I don't know. But Tony, you started this song.. I know but I still forgot who did that. Evelyn I can't believe you could tell that Tony started that. We were going to say something. I don't know if it's the Zoom or something, but we were. My mistake, my mistake, that's true.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I'm going to say now, I think that, well, that put me right in the middle of an awful day, so I'm going to give you three points for the answer. So Tom and Evelyn, I would like to find out if you Tom, please Here's your chance to shine, alright? Remember your... F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f No point in this point for that. That insurrection, it's a huge hysteria. You win, man. Oh, fucking leave, I'm afraid. Sorry. You never, you never found my point to give me. And it always makes me want to.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Oh, what point to give you? Because he upsets you. It's funny. This is the game's gone. The game's gone. The game's gone. There's no win there. That's it, man. What do you mean there's no game's gone?
Starting point is 00:28:43 I thought that was, I thought that was a textbook answer for what is your idea of a bad day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no would like you. All right, let's mix things up a little bit. Let's amp things up a bit. I'd like to hear a poem rhyming please, a rhyming poem, all about summertime. Oh! And you can't just do summertime by big, big, really style. So, the bullsmith's still okay though, right? Will Smith is fine. Just check in, just check in.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Of course, Will Smith's fine, yeah. He's a very lovely man on Instagram. It does a lot of... What a lovely man. Oh, the rapper and actor. Oh, he's lovely. Okay, are poem about summertime, you ready, Evelyn? Yes. So much So much
Starting point is 00:29:49 Wow And it is But Burning Good N-N-G Burning Summer burning, burning. Burning. Mm-hmm. Get, get, burning. Burning. Summertime is burning.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Burning, summertime is burning. And that is exactly what we said. And that's the poem. That's the poem. There it is. There it is. Wow. All right.
Starting point is 00:30:20 So there was, I asked for a rhyming poem about summertime and you said summertime is burning. It rhymes with itself. So it's a little refresher. The idea is that I was asking for a poem to rhyme all about summertime and they had to sync up. I'll tell you what, once again, the syncing absolutely gorgeous. I'm giving you four out of five for that one once again, really, really good syn sinking there. The poem left a little predesided. Can we have a chance to do the second line? Of course, yes, you have.
Starting point is 00:30:51 I felt like you just had to. We were only halfway through. So when you said that's it, not a typical poetic device. When I said that's it, it was the end of the first line. Oh, okay, you're right. I'll tell you what, you can leave out of that. So that's it, in future. And just, you know, we'll hear the that's it. We'll hear the conversation. Are you rhy rhyming with that sit then? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mmm. Ah. Ah.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Good. Good. Good.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. So can I just get this right? It's summertime is burning children are learning sir. Yeah, you know what? It was a good poem actually. I enjoyed it a lot. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you three and a half points for the poem and I give you four points for the
Starting point is 00:31:55 scene. It was really good. I like because I love poetry. So, I love poetry, mate. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it a bit of it. You know. There's actually in the works a TV show of me and Andrew Motion pissed out of our minds wondering who the British library. So fingers crossed they make it. Fingers crossed they make it. So, I'm going to Tony, I would be delighted if to close off the round.
Starting point is 00:32:19 You can give me your proposed replacement, improvise please, for the current National Anthem. I'd like to hear a new song for the National Anthem. Okay. Oh. Ha ha ha. Oh, we are so late, very often, and that is really rude. We sure do like chips but we're sorry about the Empire It was a nice morning clothes And the middle and upper classes always So don't look bad at us!
Starting point is 00:34:06 Cause we're nicer than you And the adrenaline is... Sneak away out of it But we won't let that go. Boy, it really stuck to the American one. Yeah, it was very star-spangled banner for the British. I know what. I enjoyed it, so I've really, really good. Really enjoyed it.
Starting point is 00:34:35 It got took in all of the things that we love and hate about being British. The lightness, the politeness, of course, our love of chips and, you know, the Empire. A tricky thing about you. It's really fighting against that love of the British museum as well, here. It's one of the two very conflicting themes going on. Oh yeah. The amount of ironic tweets I do from there. I go, no, we stole all of this. Still going to enjoy it. Well, you know what, I'm still going to enjoy that song. I think for this, you know, the sync was certainly an improvement. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you two and a half for the sync.
Starting point is 00:35:16 It went a stray at certain points, but it was a, when it, when it was good, it was very good and a parry not happy with that. And I'm, I'm also going give you, for the song itself, I mean, the song I really enjoyed, I'm gonna give you four out of five for the song, I thought it was great, fantastic, fantastic work. So, but what has that done to the scores? Have the scores synced up, there's only one
Starting point is 00:35:40 we'd have find out, let's ask producer Gwyn, please tell us, how are the scores? Hey producer Gwynne, please tell us how are the scores? How are you producer Gwynne? How are you? How are you guys? Very good, very good. You're a little quiet by the way. Oh my, how's that? That's better, yeah, I love you. You know, great. The scores are. Are you joining us from the Natural History Museum? You're in the pub, Gwynne. I mean, I'm in my... Are you an allangin' Southampton? I wish. I wish. I join you from Pew's Garden Centre. It just opens up, borrows it open them up.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Enjoy yourself. I love it. It's all my... They've got a good off-road succulent at the moment. Get yourself down there, guys. People back there is wrong. My flatmates are in the first place. That's a kitchen and a boiler.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Did you notice? There are people over there. You've got down a man of flatmates are in there to stay. That's a question and the go-in. Did you notice? There are people over there. You've got down a man of flatmates. There must be two of them over there, Gwyn. We're shopping you to the police. Right? One of them would do it online record, right? Gwyn, I'm stuck in the room. Gwyn, let's hear the scores.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Let the scores out. Let's hear this shammer of a score. Tom and Evelyn have 13 and a half. Yep. Yes. And then Tony have 10 and a half. Oh, there we go. So Tom and Evelyn are in the lead,
Starting point is 00:36:58 but Ben and Tony are not yet ready to tap out. There's still everything to play for. As we head into round two. It is of course flat games Gold gold gold gold gold If you win you can go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go We have a little seconds to find something from their home that can best deal with that scenario. They'll of course have a chance to justify their choice. Five points for the best tool. Okay, so the first one is going to be, yeah, not five points for the biggest. Evelyn versus Ben is going to be our first round, so Evelyn versus Ben. The Sultan of Brunei is visiting.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Now it's customary to give him a gift. What have you got off your go? A gift for the Sultan of Brunei. Tom, if I was throwing that to you, what would you think he'd be thinking? What do you get the man who owns everything? Yeah. I mean, that's it.
Starting point is 00:38:20 He already owns most of the things, certainly most of the stuff in your, in your book. Something money can't buy. That's what you call it. Oh, I've got something. A home cooked meal. A new shelf over there above his head. They're look dangerous.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Oh yeah. I smell my head off this on. I'm so sorry. I noticed in the middle of foraging, I noticed that my bathroom sink was still on. You have a good one. You're keeping it very tight. I love it. We're about how about sinks?
Starting point is 00:38:49 All the math things. Were you the last person to use the sink, Evelyn? I believe so, or I have a ghost. How many people do you live with? Just me and my ghost. Ghosty helps you washing up. They're washing up. Try to unclog the sink. So we'll start with you then, Ebblin.
Starting point is 00:39:12 What have you brought for the Sultan, for the good Sultan? This lovely spider man, I am blindfolded. That's like a sultan of... That's like a sultan of... It's a sultan of the Sleeve, isn't it? Yeah. Exactly. He could use it to sleep on planes or in rooms because he's probably going to be jet lagged. So I'm thinking, and then, but they still have eyes, so people won't notice if he's asleep or not.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Exactly. You know, he's, he's doing one of those state visits. He's very, very busy. If he's a little bored, he can always have a kip and think people are still, you know, like, because obviously, you'll probably have to watch some sort of demonstrations of mor Morris dancing or something like that. He gets sit there with the I'm asked on no one's gonna realize I think he's just been to a fun fair Nothing's actually strong strong strong a strong first dancer. Let's see what Clarky Clarky what if you brought from your house for the Since since
Starting point is 00:40:00 It is an international trip and I'm there representing kind of as an ambassador It is an international trip and I'm there representing kind of as an ambassador Well, what else would I bring other than I'm gonna die If you got that many forever Russia in your eyes Well my girlfriend bought them for me last night How have you got that many forever rush in your ice? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Let's get into it, let's get into wine then we'll talk more about the Ferrer Roche because it's a very nicely I started a new job yesterday and I was like congratulations on starting a new job here's some Ferrer Roche kind of feeling nice. It's nice, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:40:57 Can I just say by the way, nothing upsets Tom more than good things happening to Ben. If I give him an extra point, if you get some jockies, whatever it is, Tom, he changes his entire face. You're not like in a cartoon where you see the red bubbling up his face. He goes absolutely berserk. Tom, Ben is in a loving relationship with his fiancee. He doesn't like the furor I rush like.
Starting point is 00:41:22 I'm amazed they're still there in intact. That feels me. Yeah, I'm a mental. I'm quite... But I tell you what, it was very fortunate to... You're quite allergic to nuts, aren't you? Yeah. She's trying to kill you, Carcass.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Yeah, bizarrely they ended up on my bedside table, rather than in the sitting room. And if it's in the sitting room, they would have definitely been started last night. Were you were you hoping to bring them into the bedroom? I mean it's not particularly sexy chocolate is it? It's a bit scratchy isn't it? Yeah. It's a little bit scratchy the other way around. Yeah. You're under each arm, pit let a melt. Just drop two, just drop two chocolate covered hazelnuts under a chest. What's the idea behind that?
Starting point is 00:42:06 Melting to start. It's a start. I mean, it is for play, you know, you've got to, you know, you've got to start somewhere, that's the thing. And it comes with confusing. Just start from being kind. Yeah, exactly. That's where I'll begin. That is the biggest for play actually. That is the biggest four play actually. I was going to give five points for the best tool,
Starting point is 00:42:27 but I think I'm actually going to split the five points between you. I think I'm going to give Clarky, I'm going to give Clarky two points. I thought he was really good, Clarky, but unfortunately, the Saltynabrunae is going to see the not in the classic pyramid formation and the absolute furious.
Starting point is 00:42:49 He wouldn't be. He wouldn't be in his partner of finishing. No, no, no, no. All right. That means three points, go to Evelyn and her. That's by the man Mark, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Tom and Tony, you're up next. Now, you are about to be attacked by a wild dog What can you use to fend them off off you go? So Tony is Tony is oh you've got down you've straight away. He's got his harmonica. So while dog is about to attack me. Yeah, yeah, yeah Monica. So Wild Dog is about to attack me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to do what you're doing. Why would you want to do that to me?
Starting point is 00:43:45 Oh, Wild Dog. Well, dog, well, dog, well, dog, well, dog, well, dog. I feel like you can see right through me. And then what'll happen is he'll just tilt his head, fall in love, and he'll become my new, my dog, Wolfie, who I forgot already. That's what happened actually. That's the story of how I got my dog This is this is literally take it from your own life You're tame to wrap a dog with just simply the harmonic of there. Yeah, and now you're crying fighting duo
Starting point is 00:44:16 Yeah, and he can just he can see Ray Thurumi and that was beautiful. It's really good actually Wolfie will be just he can though, I mean that's the thing. He looks into my heart. And you know what he always says? Stop vaping. You can just help. You can just help, baby. Water lung.
Starting point is 00:44:37 What you need to do though is you need to switch your vape flavor to something like pedigree chum and he'll be delighted Just blow a load of sort of gravy chum because into his face You know what? Keep on raping boy, keep on raping Get him, I'm vape So please, so vape Rates for dogs though, good dog idea, you all are £1 Tom, so what have you brought?
Starting point is 00:45:04 I've taken the opposite tact for Tetonie, I'm by the kitchen. Well dear. So I've gone for chili flakes in the eye, carrot up the bum. Whoa! So it's like, it's like a technique used between the sheets as well.
Starting point is 00:45:20 It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, the whole level with the on, I'm next to the bedroom. So yeah yeah, Chili Flakes, cool in the eye. Can I just check? Plastic size, not your eyes. Yeah, I don't want to see what the dogs are about to do. This is self-preservation. I'm just going to put you in my self-fraud.
Starting point is 00:45:39 I'm just going to put you in my self-fraud. I'll wrap them up. At least I can enjoy myself for a while. That was the playground story, wasn't it? If a doberman pints a bite you and they've got a lock jaw, you have to put a finger up their bum and then they'll release the daubler. That sounds like a rumour spread by dogs. That was the Staffordshire bull terrier.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Yeah, there you go. So in our area it was like the doberman pints up, but I think you're right. I think it is a staffy. Yeah, they were in the American Pit Bull. They have like Locked-Jah because they've been overbred something like that. So that's it. So that's what the Carrots for. So Chili flakes in the eye, come and then when they can't see, Carrot up the bum in case they've got you they release you and you're off Pretty actually quite sensible really really sensible to really really strong answers and I think you know No, we're nearest by way problem is music. Yeah music as you know what I know that song has cut through my heart Like with the stare really has I'm gonna I'm sorry. I'm gonna give the full five points to tell you I I'm sorry I'm gonna get the full five points to Tony. I'm not gonna dispute it at all.
Starting point is 00:46:47 Is there a world where I throw chili flakes, put the carrot of the bum, but then sing Tony's song? That's a kind of naked better. How much would you charge to do that to me? How many for error rushes you need? Two for error rushes. This is my favourite evening in ages. I never thought I'd laugh like that lately, you know.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Oh, last couple of years. Yeah, it's been hard, it's been hard, doesn't it? It's been hard, man. That's such a good laugh. So Tony and Evelyn, you're up next. We are on the brink of war. Find an item that can reunite the planet and restore global peace.
Starting point is 00:47:32 And it can't be something you've used already. So no carrot up the bar, no chili in the eyes. Off you go. Oh God. It's just like a kind of like an olive branch. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Basically, we need something to say it branch. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Basically, we need something to touch. So, say it again. Say it again. To the world, the world on the brink of war, we need something toautomistic that can unite the planet with your global peace. We need something. Okay. Many of you...
Starting point is 00:47:58 Whatever you're holding up, Tony, is see-through, so we can't see it. And that's what it's meant to be. Oh. It's meant to be see-through. we can't see it. That's what it's meant to be. Oh! It's meant to be see-through. This is the Lord. Because religions, I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really The vape lord I know I The holy ghost surely yeah The holy ghost is actually people a lot of you people especially the older generation of stop smoking and You're very angry right now and you don't think you're angry, but you're still angry. You need to start beeping and and you don't think you're angry, but you're still angry. You need to start beeping.
Starting point is 00:48:45 And also, if you start beeping, it's not very good for your teeth, so you need to get your teeth clean, and that just helps the economy. Okay, I can do better than that. It's so loud. It's compelling, it's compelling. Evelyn, what have you come up with?
Starting point is 00:49:01 I got my man's escaping kit. Oh, there. Your balls will thank you. Now, it comes with, it's because I think when the apocalypse happens, where there's war, nobody will have time to groom themselves, but manscape offers a very easy solution. Did you get a free from some job you did? It is a podcast promo. Is this a way to make your sponsorship daily?
Starting point is 00:49:30 Did you do a job and they gave you that kit? Evelyn, are you giving the code at the end? It's like, go to manscaping.com for a slash rice. And you can get a, no, we're not having it. I'm not having it. I'm going to offer your listeners. No, I'm not having it. You should.
Starting point is 00:49:45 10%. No. So, I was hoping you were going to change them. We really want you to do a voiceover for this product. And you know what, we're going to chuck this in with it. That's hilarious. Send it to the woman who will definitely use it. But let me see, where is it? Send it to the send it to the woman who will definitely use it
Starting point is 00:50:08 Let me see. Where is it? He sent me I think I got a t-shirt That says your balls will thank you. It says your balls will thank you really big on the back And I'm like when will I wear this? And then I got like this really big Magazine about how to do it. So I'm very well versed in this now. Are you opening up a salon? I think I might be, I think I might be Tom. That's, that's, that might, is that what is going to take you night the world. We've got, we've, we've got a vape, Tony suggesting that the entire world starts vaping to sort of, you know, relax them. The only problem with that is of course,
Starting point is 00:50:44 dogs don't like vapes, you're gonna upset upset them on the dogs. It's going to be a man versus dog war. The war is speaking of balls, though. If the dogs get upset, I could take care of it, don't worry about that. I can sting them. Stinking it out. I nearly said stinking of balls, though. But I meant speaking of balls. God, that was a slip. That's really the name of your podcast. But I can get balls through the toilet wall. Stinking of balls with toilet wall. Yeah, wait.
Starting point is 00:51:14 It's the podcast you never knew you needed. No, but like, speaking of balls, when I drive my son to school, you know, he likes to have a tune on the way in. Sure. And apparently a few years ago I had accidentally left on ACDC's big bowls. And so he just wanted it that one day. And now apparently all the boys in the school sing I've got the biggest balls So I introduced AC DC to an inner inner city London school It's one of the DC's huge now Didn't make it all to the eye of the soundtrack did it that one and that's like it's like the story of Jimmy Hendrix's parrot That is
Starting point is 00:52:02 All the parakeets release through South London because All the parakeets released through South London because same story. They'll say, why is it that all these South London boys know this song? Ah well, do you remember Tony Law? Yeah. I tried to get it back to you. They all love it, they've all like downloaded it. And like, it's been a great time. Can you imagine 1976 ACDC being popular in the middle of London?
Starting point is 00:52:24 That's right. I love it middle of London. I love it. I love it. Who am I going to get the points? That's the question, because we've got ACDC. ACDC. I'll tell you what, Matthew, my balls are thank you. All right, two points to Ben's ball. Next round.
Starting point is 00:52:44 I'll always give you a round of applause.. Next round is Tom versus Ben. AK, the AE Joel Grudge match, and you're not going to believe this, considering the chat we've had so far. But Tom and Ben, your partner has asked you to spice things up in the back. You're right, Tom just flexes muscles and pulls. You pull the muscles. You pull the muscles. I flexed my muscles and banged my elbow on the few points. He's like, whole door there.
Starting point is 00:53:29 Clarke is back. You were there in your kimono. Which, thank you. Harry is back. Well, Harry is back with... Oh wow, what's he got there? It looks... Now, I know what it is, but the way he's holding it suggests he's gonna play it like the backpipes. Parry, what have you, what have you brought there? Can you tell our listeners at home? I've got Dyson Vacuum Cleaner. Dyson Vacuum Cleaner.
Starting point is 00:53:59 I mean, I don't know if you've ever had a Dyson or interact, the amount of a, a kutramont that comes with this thing, there's nozzles. Nozzles. Isn't it? There's brushes. It's got heads. It gives good heads. There's different settings. Oh boy. There's like four or five different spinny things. It sucks. It blows. Oh, I mean, we're gonna have we're gonna have we're gonna go to town. We're gonna do it in town. I do it in the prisonisbee, Prisbee are in home if that's alright I think. Bell, bells, we're just moving to a new area.
Starting point is 00:54:29 You're gonna say prison. The Prisbee, if you do it in town you will do it in prison. Don't worry. Prisbee's style. There's lots of different, you know, there's different wattage. You know, there's, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no. You said different wattage in such a beautiful way. It's like you've, it's like we're suddenly watching QVC all of a sudden, isn't it? It's almost really selling it to us.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Can I just say now, this episode is of course sponsored by Dyson. So if you go to Happy's Comedy, don't come forward slash Dyson. You can get 10% off a Dyson, which doesn't actually take that much off. Also, Dyson is good enough for man skates. The money is coming directly to us. I'm gonna go after number one over here. Man skates. Man skates.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Loads of utensils that are like a freely available, but don't have man attached to it. A bit like pet trimming tools. They're basically tools. We all have access to. There are some lotion, which is some greasy grease, some olive oil in a shaver. I'll tell you what, if you've got olive oil in a shaver, absolutely one the round. So, Clarke, what have you come up with? Well, don't ask me where I got this, but I've actually heard before,
Starting point is 00:55:51 hell of a trick. Uh, chilli and a can of... Oh! Clarke's got the oldest trick in the book. It's a hell of a one-two. It's already the of a one-two. Yeah, all of them. She's already got to this point. She comes in that with her...
Starting point is 00:56:09 You come at her with some chili and a caristic. Sean Corrie taught us that in the Untouchables. So I give it a few. Yeah. I told my children that we wouldn't be able to do that kind of exchange on the internet for at least five or seven years. LAUGHTER That's blown my brains out. Oh, you know what?
Starting point is 00:56:31 Two, you know what? I want to give the full five points to Clarky, but I also think Tom, the site of Tom appearing, holding a dice in like a sort of medieval musical instrument with bellows on it. I'm giving him five as well, so five points to both teams there. Now, after that, since there's materialism, let's enjoy something more ethereal and ultimately more edifying. Producer Gwyn, let's hear those scores.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Because at the end of that round, our Tom and Evelyn have 21 and a half. Ben and Tony have 24 and a half. Oh, flip it around. Well, it's time to temporarily forget about the blocked basin and sink our teeth in a some naughty naughty beef. It's beef brothers.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, because you've got a problem calling a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you, be from the starting out your beast. Yes indeed, it's beef brothers, where each week we ask our panelists
Starting point is 00:57:29 to sort out a flat-share-based beef. And today's one comes from Nikki. Right, my partner keeps dropping really unsuattled hints about getting out and about exercising together. I fully admit that I am locked down fat, but I'd like to deal with this in my own time, and although I love her, the idea of exercising together
Starting point is 00:57:50 makes me want to vom even before we start. She's been on their side, yeah. Yeah, you're on Nikki's side. So Nikki and her partner here, Nikki also says Tony, by the way, PS, I've booked tickets to see Tony law twice and not made it each time due to a car accident on route.
Starting point is 00:58:05 My life is really stupid. So you're like her kind of like weird sort of almost not that a true thing. Apparently that's what she says. That's what I mean what why I give you free tickets to whatever I'm able to book again. Nikki Nikki can come getting to Tony over Twitter and he will sort you out for free tickets, but it does seem like there's a final destination I'm afraid you've got a stop gigging at destruction She know what I've never been able to do your accent and that's one of the main reasons I did this because I just want to listen to you talk
Starting point is 00:58:44 Tom Perry wickery so beautiful. It's so gorgeous. Especially when you talk about NFL. Oh, so, green bay package. So, let's talk about it. Exorcise Enicke's partner wants her to exercise with her, but she doesn't fancy it. What do you suggest? Evelyn, we'll start with you. What do you, like, let's talk around the problem. Can you think of any immediate kind of thoughts that popped in mind?
Starting point is 00:59:19 I actually can think of how her partner could get her to exercise. Oh, okay. Okay. I actually can think of how her partner could get her to exercise. Oh, okay. Okay, well, I don't know if the partner is listening, but if the partner is if she is, she hasn't given the name of the partner. Go on. This is great advice.
Starting point is 00:59:35 I'm sorry, Nikki, but it's from personal experience. I think it's because I'm going through it now myself. I have to lose some weight for some health stuff. And I went to my GP and they prescribed me, like my GP thinks that I'm, he's like, okay, I'm gonna help you with this. So he's prescribed me physical movement on the prescription. I'll show you the prescription. See, is he your choreographer?
Starting point is 01:00:04 He's my boss. He's a great, he's a great, he's a great boss? He's totally what moves today. It's an actual prescription to go to the gym. He does not trust that I will go on my own. So I leave like a financial incentive because this is going to give me like a Discount discount exactly a discount on the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he did that count on the fact that fast food is much cheaper than a gym membership Even with a discount More importantly, you don't need it sister. Thank you Tony So more importantly, you don't need it sister. Thank you Tony. That guy.
Starting point is 01:00:46 That guy can go to hell. I like the way that's... Tony just completely overroading a GP. Yeah, listen. Tony, Tony's one of those people who actually... What you need to do is fight. You should fight. Tony, Tony, why are you thinking that GPs office?
Starting point is 01:01:02 I mean, I've been able to stick with this. By ignoring the stick with this, by ignoring their advice. He stands outside of GPs office, just going, guys, listen, whatever, whatever they're telling you in there, you don't need it, all right? You know, need it. I swear. I don't know what's best for me. He's also a big anti-factor as well, aren't you? That was pretty good.
Starting point is 01:01:22 No, there's words? That was pretty good. No, that's... There's words, I'm really good on them. You've got to draw them in somewhere, haven't you? Okay, so you think it's a prescription. I mean, that is a real, yeah. So say, like, I've given you this prescription. What does that, how does a prescription work? Does your person, the person at the gym,
Starting point is 01:01:43 have to like sign it to say you've been there? Do they have to, like, yes, so they have to, I just have to give it and then they just give me the discount and then I take, I think they take the paper away from me so I can't use it again. Right. And then I think I have one. Which I'm sure you're fine with. Yeah. I can't come tomorrow, okay.
Starting point is 01:02:03 I do have this patronizing schedule where I think maybe they need to fill in that I've been there. Just a blind calendar. That's the same schedule as everybody else has got. Calendar with nothing in it. That's an invasion of your, oh my god. But it's so funny and this is Swedish. So in Swedish it's it's titled
Starting point is 01:02:25 F-A-R the F-A-R scheme which is physical activity on recipe because prescription in Swedish is recipe and it's just one letter away from fat which I don't think. I forgot you're over in Sweden. I forgot about that. I am. Everyone looks like you here Tony. Oh, that's horrible. That'd be a nightmare walking around here. We had Ben with the light on, and then we took a double-sick goggles. Yeah, just more pompous. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:57 So, Tony, what was your advice for getting out of this exercising nightmare that Nicky is finding herself almost in. Yeah, so remind me quickly, what was her nightmare? So Nikki's partner wants to do exercise with her. They want to exercise together, but Nikki doesn't want to do any exercise. Or wants to do the exercise? No, that's not true. Nikki wants to do exercise on her own. On her own, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's the only way. Right? The only way to do it. So, but how does she tell her partner that? Well, she needs to tell her partner like, um, exactly that's the only way right anyway to do it. So how do she tell her partner? Well, she needs to tell her partner like um, you know
Starting point is 01:03:32 Shut shut shut up Shut your mouth. Okay, shut your stupid mouth Shut your stupid mouth Stupid mouth. Shut your stupid mouth. Back the fuck off and allow me to do what I need to do for me. Got it. Okay. And say it exactly like that.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Alright, so shut your stupid mouth and back the fuck off. And if they still love you, they'll go, Wow, I really got it wrong that time. You should be able to take that. Otherwise, you know, like get over it, you know, need to be alone. I like that as an answer actually, that's good. So, Karky, what are you thinking? I think run off. Anytime she asks you, peg it, and then, if she's like, what the fuck? You'd be like, I thought we're going to run together. It's great, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Catch up, you know? So get that flight mechanism kicking in. Yeah, so you can just bolt every time. Oh, I thought I was just encouraging you. Right, it's really good. Straight out the front Catch me catch me yeah, so we've got we've got that we've got shut the fuck up We've got the opposite which is get get them to get a prescription Tom. What are you thinking?
Starting point is 01:04:57 I My well my honest I am well my two reactions to this My first reaction was there's a film called Escape to Victory where a group of prisoner of war, they form a football team and then but in order to escape at the end one of them has to be injured. So Sylvester Stallone takes one for the team and puts his arm down on the bed and they break his arm deliberately so he can get out the game and therefore escape. So my first thought was, take yourself off to the bedroom and break escape. So my first thought was, could take yourself off to the bedroom and break you.
Starting point is 01:05:25 Okay, can I just say, even in the wibbly wobbly world of beef rolls, I am immediately gonna say, you cannot say that, you cannot suggest me that. You're gonna break their own noodles. Okay, okay, okay, so I'm all covered with. I'm all covered with that. She seems to be really tall.
Starting point is 01:05:41 You're tall. Listen, then I went the other way and I glanced down, and I saw the carrot was still in front of me. And I remembered my partner and I, we used to refer to, well, the act of, you know, copulation or whatever. Copulation. Oh, could you not have picked a different word? Wow.
Starting point is 01:05:57 I would have preferred making woopie over copulation. We need to cut. You fancy a minute of carroty copulation? We used to refer to it as nature's gym because you burn more calories You're more calories having a good old time together than you do going for the gym or doing a workout You should see you should see Tom Perry is running all over the place. I'm a See Tom Perry is running all over the place. So, I'm listening. He's absolutely...
Starting point is 01:06:23 So, I would say, nature's gym. You've got to do it together. It's good. Your exercise. It's good. So, that's the phrase we use. We always look into them and be like, oh, should we go to nature's gym or a bit of nature's gym?
Starting point is 01:06:38 Bit of nature's gym. Of course, though, and one of you goes, sorry, gym's close today. Yeah, yeah. I was working, try, wasn't it? We're going for the nightmare. Nature's Jim just doesn't mean that here. Too many cats, too many dogs, too many children and not enough room. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Nature's Jim. Yeah, it's just, it's all Jim. Yeah. You've got to give him some. You've got to give him some. You've got to give him some nature's Jim every sort of Jim. Yeah, it's just it's all Jim. Yeah, you got a nature's gym every so often. Yeah, oh well Love the nature the nature's lovely, isn't it? I love getting all the other in the woods. You know like don't do you remember when bear grills was doing his TV shows? Oh, yeah, you never the island. Yeah, that can you know the way climbed over things I always thought he just seemed horny for earth He wanted to absolutely stick his dick in a bit of
Starting point is 01:07:34 He'd be in Australia to go through a crevice and he just Definitely posh I've been been to some posh schools where I still fucking love her. So far too posh and earthy. Anyway, sorry. No, no, no, these are all good answers. Let's go back through it. We had Evan and Reminded to get it was it was get prescription. Yes, so that you have to go running. But then I mean she could add the fact that she's like hey I've got this prescription now and I feel a bit ashamed about it. I want to do it on my own It's true. Okay. Okay, so we've got the prescription. We've got the Tony was say shut your mouth and back my fuck up
Starting point is 01:08:18 Clarke he was peg it yeah, and parry was of course I just forgot to peg it. Okay it yeah and parry was of course nature's for the pig it aka haha stram a carrot on an absolutely good to tell nature's beg the carrots haha haha oh oh oh don't eat don't eat that casserole I'm afraid I use nature's
Starting point is 01:08:42 peg I should really tell it I should have already told it, I should have not have put it back in the, put it back in the cake. I'm quite aware, doesn't it? Peg. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really makes that silly dance song, you know, it changes the meaning slightly, doesn't it? Love that one. Oh, huge song.
Starting point is 01:08:59 So, obviously, I cannot make the call myself because I'm basically... Beckon has answered answer to Joe, it's the body coach. I'm an adonis. So instead, I call upon our live internet audience. So go to our profile on Twitter. It's at Pappy's tweet, our pinned tweet lets you vote for who you think should win. Was it Evelyn with her recipe? Was it Tony with his shut your mouth? Was it Ben with
Starting point is 01:09:26 his pegging? Or was it Tom with his copulation? Go to Papi's tweet on Twitter and vote now. We have an answer guys, we have an answer. So I can tell you of the four answers, one got 51%. Oh! Absolutely, dropping. One got 31%. One got 18% and one got a shocking 0%. We've never had a 0% before. Heather, I'm afraid.
Starting point is 01:09:56 You've got no votes at all for your answer. Oh no! I'm afraid. It's not because they don't love you you because it's impossible to not love you The opposite of what Nicky was asking for advice for so yeah, what we Are getting her girlfriend there yeah, so you're there's a vote about the best person and comedian it be you it be you. Well we work together. I thought you do. That's a very nice thing to. I'm a team. So, you're on my team. Oh, shit. Oh, I got that right. What like an hammer? I assumed we were both of the same team. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Because of the wonderful chemistry Tom and Ben have, yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:46 That seems like... LAUGHTER Now those guys do not like each other at all. It's real. That's team captains for you. They're playing the game, man. They're playing the game. Right, speaking of playing the game, let's get back to it.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Evelyn got zero percent. Clark, you got 14 percent. Nature's Gym got a pretty impressive 39 percent. The scores have been updated, Evlyn is still not got any more, but with 47% Tony Law telling them to shut the fuck up. Got 47% you get the points for that round, congratulations. Oh, this is the worst news ever, Matthew,
Starting point is 01:11:18 because now I'm gonna self-destruct. Well, does anyone want to go? I feel like I deserve the success. So I'm gonna, I I'm going to employ now. Would you like to give your points to your teammate Evelyn? Yes, please. In which case, Evelyn gets the point there for 0%. Next up is the quick far round.
Starting point is 01:11:38 So let's waste no more time. Sorry, I meant let's waste loads of time and listen to the jingle. Here we go. This is the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quickly Which is why it's quite amusing that it has A long introduction That's a great job It has a long introduction
Starting point is 01:12:22 When the round itself is quick, you have to admit that that's really quite amusing. It certainly really tickles me, you think it should have a quick introduction Ooooo to be honest I do Because it's a quick round So that would be quite apt But instead it's long It's a really long introduction Quite often it is longer than the round Don't you think? It's pretty solid, it's gay. You've got to admit. Alright, well let's get down to the quick fire itself. I'm keen to go, cause my neck's really hurting me.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Basically I've bought a big stool and I bought this whole desk and the two don't really combine. The stool is actually a stool for a standing desk and yet I just went off and port a normal desk. I don't know why I did these things. Ooh, it happens to the best of us. But it's really chipping up my neck. So let's nip this in the bus Gip in up my neck Anyway, I hate it I'm pining my neck Enjoy The quick fara Ooh
Starting point is 01:14:35 Gip in up my neck Gip in up my neck Gip in up his neck Gip in up my neck Gip in up his neck Gip in up his neck Oh my god, sorry to hear that, Harry, about your neck, man. Oh, it's jipping up, man. It's absolutely jipping the fuck up your neck, man. Because you had that before, didn't you?
Starting point is 01:14:58 You went to the doctor and the doctor said you didn't know how to stand properly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's the case. He said you don't know how to stand properly. You're standing, yeah, that's right. He said you don't understand properly. You're standing wrong for your entire life. You know, what you really needed there was Tony outside the doctor's surgery going, listen, don't listen to him, man. You're standing great. So this is the quick fire round and as our show is all about syncs, I'm going to ask our players to sync lower and lower in pitch with each answer. So we're going to start with really, really high voices
Starting point is 01:15:31 and gradually going low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, conversely, the answers will get, will start low and get higher. You'll work that out as we get along. Instead of buzzers, I'd like to shout out your first names. High voices start, please. Tom and Evelyn. Tom. Evelyn. Lovely.
Starting point is 01:15:53 Ben and Tony. Tony. Something like Teddy Rucks bin there, I loved it. Okay, here we go. Complete the title of the novel. 20,000 leagues under the... Tom! Tom?
Starting point is 01:16:08 See! See is correct. A U-boat is a type of what? BOOM! Ben! Submarine? Is correct. What was Ariel's crab friend called in the little mermaid? Evelyn!
Starting point is 01:16:21 Evelyn, I think, was just there. Sebastian. Sebastian is correct. Deeper underground was a hit for which Tom was wearing Thomas just there. Ah ha ha! Jermiracwai! Oh, Gregorian, I enjoyed that.
Starting point is 01:16:36 You have an extra point for that. Which blue light on the London Underground doesn't go above ground? The blue light on the London Underground. Evelyn. Evelyn. Vicar, early line. It's not the p... It's not the p... It's not the p... Vicar, it's Victoria. It's Victoria, yeah. I like the way this has now become just singing in a sort of cod-operatic version. How many feet under are coffins said to usually be very
Starting point is 01:17:05 BENTONS Well Coney's giving us the answer Uh, dripping up by now Gipping up my niggas What color is grass? BENTON Green Green and happy 420 everybody
Starting point is 01:17:22 Um, Dele Sous's debut album was how many feet high and rising Three very sorry who sat on a wall and had a great fall Ben was just there first Name the historical wrought iron landmark in the center of Paris Tom was just there first I think A bonus point for the word iron there for Tony I think Is it type of what I didn't even hear it was a V it was Evelyn yeah
Starting point is 01:18:08 Play this correct How many sons does the earth have Well if you believe that kind of nonsense sure What was the full title of Kubrick's 2001? BAM! That was dumb. A spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a sp, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay, a spay It's correct. According to OPM what is a half pipe? BAM! DEMON! Evel is a half pipe and what does certain cheeky devil traditionally do on today's date for
Starting point is 01:18:56 20? Evelin. They smoke weed. They smoke weed which gets them. Hi. It's correct. That is our quickfire round. The game is over.
Starting point is 01:19:09 So before we find out the final scores, Tony, Evelyn, anything to plug, anything you'd like to plug, Tony will start with you. You've got the tone zone. Oh. Yeah, so the tone zone is now OK. But that doesn't exist. So no, I do a stream on Twitch called the tone zone.
Starting point is 01:19:27 Yes. But it's on the channel called Virtue Chamber Echo Bravo, which is confusing. Right, of course, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so it's Virtue Chamber Echo Bravo. And it's the tone zone, but if we look for you on, is it a Twitch thing?
Starting point is 01:19:42 Twitch, yeah, Twitch, only on Twitch. Only on twitch. Because, you know, I don't have any idea of how to become popular. I think twitch is the way forward, man. It seems like people are doing it on twitch. It's certainly not this, certainly not this way. I do it. Yeah. The tone zone coming and visit me, it's wonderful actually. And Evelyn, what are you doing obviously the rice to meet you, Pard? Yeah, the rice to meet you, Pardcast, which is not racist because I'm Chinese, so I'm doing it with... What?
Starting point is 01:20:22 Malaysian comedian, Nigel Ung, who is played by Tony Law. Which is racist, because he's Canadian. You haven't seen my acting, Sashie. It's a very true performance, Sashie. It's very true. You do an amazing Nigel. Very, very good. Tom, as well, you have a... By the way, can I just say, Tom is going to
Starting point is 01:20:46 promote something now and Tom texting me something absolutely adorable today. So we'll do the promo first and then we'll talk about how you message me. Well, on Thursday night on BBC 2 at 10pm, we've got a 10 minute pilot of a think called Don Rodolfo, which is Kiran Day's show. So we've made a pilot of it, that's going out on Thursday at 10 PM. So if people can make a fuss about it, the more people make a fuss about it, the more likely they are to get us to make more. Thursday, 10 PM. Try to make a fuss. Now Tom said, like he said, can you, can you mention in the script to ask people to do, to watch Don Rodolfo?
Starting point is 01:21:27 And he put in brackets, for the YouTube audience, not the podcast one, thanks buddy. And I was like, and I was like, yeah, I said cool, but it will still be on I Player for the listeners when the podcast goes out. And he was like, oh, of course, it's like,
Starting point is 01:21:38 oh, that's adorable. You thought, well, once it's on the telly, it's never going to be on ever again. Okay, so you can watch it on the telly, it's never going to be on ever again. Yeah, so you can watch it on the telly at 10 o'clock on Thursday, but it will also be on I play it, presumably first a few months after that. But can you tell us a little bit about it, though? Yeah, excuse me, Don Rodolfo. When, where, when is it, uh, base, uh, it's, uh,
Starting point is 01:22:00 Kiran Dowd is like a 17th century Spanish swordsman. Love it. So it's like, uh, he's an ator a 17th century Spanish swordsman. Love it. So it's like a easy notorious lover and swordsman. Really? Like a Donghuang, you know, crossed with Dongkiyoti. It's very silly. Oh my god, I love that. So yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:18 And I fell in love with when you did that thing with Will Adam's deal. Oh, Kafka for kids. Yeah, I mean, just incredible. So this thing, I'm definitely gonna come and watch or wherever it is. Yeah, turn on my cheer, but. This is amazing, because it was a show that, you know, Tom and Kirin, you developed it, you know, for Edinburgh
Starting point is 01:22:38 and then it won the award in Edinburgh and now it's been made into a TV pilot. So it's very exciting. It's really exciting. It's great. It's very funny. And Keirin is so good. He's so great.
Starting point is 01:22:51 So I'm very excited to see it. I can't wait. Yeah, I think that is enough of a plug for that. I think we're really... We've sold that more with the sold our own podcast for the last 10 years. So I hope Keirin does very well out of that. If he does, he'll know it's the Papi's Bump. Thanks to everybody at the old Papi's Bump.
Starting point is 01:23:13 Thanks to all of you guys for watching. As always, do check out our Patreon. We just Patreon.com, forward slash Papi's flagship. There's loads of bonus stuff over there. We have over a hundred bonus episodes, which you get straight away. As soon as you join, you get them them but you get new episodes every single week and if you're a fan of the podcast and you want to give us a donation that's the way to do it because
Starting point is 01:23:33 you give us a little bit of money like four quid a month and you get loads and loads and loads of bonus episodes and fun videos and stuff that we make so we would love you to join us over there. The people who were there seemed to really like it. So if you're a fan, that's the way to do it. Check out our Twitter and our Instagram and our Facebook and all that kind of stuff. But most importantly, just leave us a review on iTunes or recommend the podcast to your friends
Starting point is 01:23:56 because that is how people hear about us and we love it when we get new listeners. I'm always a fan of when someone says, I've only just discovered your podcast and I've listened to every episode in the last two months and I mean I love them and I think, how? Why? Thank you. How are you still alive and saying? But anyway, this is the moment we've been waiting for guys. No, it's not Don Rodolfo on BBC 2. It's the juice of wine giving us the final scores. here we go
Starting point is 01:24:27 Final scores are Ben and Tony have 30 and a half And Tom and Evelyn have 32 and a half So Ben and Tony have to unblock the synch boss Tom and Evelyn get to go to a private zoom breakaway Listen to me playing the greatest hits of nsync till 3 a.m Maybe bad bad bad bad thanks to our guests Evelyn Mock and Tony Law. We have been Pappies, see you next time on Flaatches Landown! Pappies, Flaatches Landown featured Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Pire, special guest Evelyn Mock and Tony Law and was in it.
Starting point is 01:25:01 I mean, what a brilliant guest we had. It was devised by Pappies and Ben Walker. Technical expertise was by the brilliant Emma Corsham and help from the equally brilliant Winry Stavis. It was produced by Emma Corsham. Thanks to Megan and Charlie for printed out the script tonight. Big thanks to everyone who watched the show live at a Zoom and YouTube. You guys have just nailed lockdown. You really have. Papi's like just standing there as a secret dude for Archive Aga, so let's cast in the lead, so cheers everyone! BYE! Well, here we are.
Starting point is 01:25:29 Don's Latute for all to see. Yeah. What an app. Does Don's Latute mean on the bean? Uh, just to... I've only ever heard you use the phrase Don's Latute. And, uh... The musical proves.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Don's means, like, in, doesn't it? So it's in there and two means everything. I'm thinking mange toot. Munch toot. Munch toot means you can eat it all. That's what the name is. Eat everything, isn't it? You eat every bit of it.
Starting point is 01:25:59 So like two more is the whole. Why? Yeah, that's what it's called munch toot. So munch toot is effectively all you can eat. Not, yeah, sort of, no. It means you can eat it all rather than all you can eat. That would be the worst. That would be two can eat buffet.
Starting point is 01:26:14 Just, let me sit munch too. I'll spit 15 quid on there. That's porn, that's the film. When it comes to, yeah, I mean, that's the real challenge of an all-you-can-eat buffet. And all-you-can-eat buffet, where there's only one thing, that'll separate, you know, the wheat from the chaff. And if it's all wheat, sorry, silly acts.
Starting point is 01:26:37 But do you know, even worse if it's just the chaff, let's be honest. Oh, it's an all-chaff buffet. I'm at the chaff table. It's absolutely chaffing on the way down. But yeah, how much, if it was an old unique buffet and it was just munched too, how much munched too do you think you could eat? Getting touch, getting touch, listen to deer.
Starting point is 01:26:58 Now listen, this is the kind of correspondence we ask for on our Patreon only episodes that you can get if you join the Patreon. So we do sell it? I mean, it's true. It's certainly went my whistle. I can tell you that much. It certainly tuned in my mange. I can tell you after I've eaten all that chaff as well, I'm spitting feathers. So if you enjoy this kind of chat and this kind of correspondence, then get on board, join the Patreon for a little amount of money. Get loads of extra episodes every week. And there's tons of bonus podcasts there for you to download. The flat share lockdowns that we put out. So go to the Patreon. It's got a web address, join up. Patreon.com for it's a lot of rubbish.
Starting point is 01:27:46 The first thing Tom said when I said, should we set up a Patreon, he was like, as long as it got a web address. And I said to him, well you learn the web address, he said, absolutely fucking not. But I just need to know it exists. Look, use Google, you can find it. Patreon, Papp, Ron. I just need to know it exists. Let's use Google. You can find it. Patreon, Pappy's podcast, sticking into Google. It works miracles now, it's good. Yeah, I'll just follow the link that Matthew just said. You know, well, I hope.
Starting point is 01:28:13 Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's flat share. Do you remember when we had to have a, I think it was one of the first and only business meetings we had, like it was a financial business meeting. We had to go set up a business account with a bank manager in a bank. And he said, and do you all have emails? And Tom got so excited, he's like, what? We get emails.
Starting point is 01:28:37 We get emails with his bank account. We get like business emails. And he's like, no, you know, do you have an email address? I'm asking. It was so embarrassing. Because that is a question that, what it seems, a factual question where most people ask it. Do you have an email address? Of course I do.
Starting point is 01:28:52 It's 2021. But Tom got so excited, like, you're like, finally, I've heard about these email things. You were so excited yet to have an abat manager who already knew we're out of our depth because you're having a financial meeting with a bank manager He could tell we didn't know what we're doing. Yeah, I know. I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, you don't get any. I'm asking what your email is.
Starting point is 01:29:12 It's pretty well. Do you get it? I wanted to get business cards printed up. I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm not weird. The only thing that's stopping you is the fact that it's a bit like these T-shirts. You're the one who has to do it. If you're stopping it, you can't do it. It doesn't get done.
Starting point is 01:29:30 The only thing that's stopping you is you're not knowing you're only email address in the lab website. Yeah. It's just got a web address underneath. Use Google. It's got my business account. It's got my name on it.
Starting point is 01:29:42 It just says use Google. You'll find me. Anyway, get on board with the Patreon. Also, if you enjoyed this episode, got my name on it. It just says use Google you'll find me Anyway get on board with the patreon also if you enjoyed this episode leave a review on iTunes Follow us on Instagram follow us on Twitter Oh, we're on we're on the gram now are I honestly, that is news to me and I mean that. We're going to check out our account. What was I saying? My.
Starting point is 01:30:14 You've got my account. I'm going to check you in every post. I haven't used it in years. Anyway, that's a different matter. Anyway, thanks for joining us. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham, cheers! And we really mean this.
Starting point is 01:30:31 Cheers everyone. Bye! Bye! I can tell you now we now don't have time for a Patreon neighbourhood watch role calls, so we might just have to leave it there, but it's going to be quite a long episode anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll be running. Yeah. Okay. Emma, yeah, we'll be running. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:45 Okay. Emma, leave us that chat in. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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