Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Ivo Graham and Sarah Bennetto (Charge the Phone) S09E36

Episode Date: December 3, 2019

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to charge the mobile phone so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!Sarah Bennetto and Ivo GrahamFeatures: Disney know, YO and sexy times in the housemates roomIvo Graham - https://twitter.com/IvoGrahamSarah Bennetto - https://twitter.com/sarahbennettoPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatsharePappy’s Flatshare Slamdown features Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry with special guests Sarah Bennetto and Ivo Graham. Recorded at the End of the Road Festival by Gwyn Rhys Davies. It was devised by Pappy’s with Ben Walker.Edited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Cast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcast everywhere.

acast.com Greetings, listener dear! Happy pitch punch first of the month! It might not be the first of the month. It's the third for the day this drop, but still... What'd you do of the month? It might not be the first of the month. It's the third for Davis Drops, but still. What'd you do for the third? Just sort of wait out for the next 27 days so you can sit on the right.

Well, look, it's Papi's, I'd be Tom. I'd been. I'm Matthew and welcome to another episode of Papi's Flat Share Slamdown. Flat Share Slamdown, very much the flagship. It's the flagship show. That's the flagship show. Oh, actually it's the flat share.

It's the flagship. It's the flagship show. It's the flagship show. That's for you, all right. It's the flagship. It's the monthly live show. And this one was recorded all the way out at the end of the road festival as we were on our way to Josh Widikam's stagdoo. Gosh, that's right. Yeah, we have a weekend. It was a good weekend.

Yeah, we thought we would swing by the end of the road festival and try and entertain the people and try. We did. And by swing by. We were saying, we were organized. We thought it was on the way. That's crucial. We thought it was on the way. We did, didn't we.

It's, we talked about this. We talked about this at the Soho Theatre after one of our shows. And we said like, what's this guy's breaking down? We were in the Soho Theatre. Ooh, yeah. Listen guys, let's break it down. We were in the Soho Theatre. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Get a discount with your membership card.

You get a discount with your membership card. It's an artist card. Show it gone quite well. Show it gone well. We had Tessaacotes on the shows Deven Martin. We were drunk drunk as Lord, drunk as Lord. Ooh we like that sweet sweet alcohol baby. We got an email from Celebaneta. She said would you like to come and do your show? We were drunk as lords.

We thought it was on the way to a stagdoo. It was the opposite way. But it added five hours on to our journey. That's a quite a long drive, y'all. Yeah, so it ended up that I had to drive I-5 up. It took us a long, old time. I had to drive Clarky up. It was a long, old time, so it ended up that I had to drive I-If-I-Wup. It took us a long, old time. I had to drive Clark-Yup, it was a long, old time. It was, we were absolutely knackered for the Stag-Doo,

but crucially, we were very alert for the show itself. Yes. And we had two brilliant guests, Sarah Bonetto, who organised his end of the road festival, all of his comedy there, and Ivo Graham. Lovely. He was going to the Stag-Doo anyway, so, Bishback Bosch.

LAUGHTER Enjoy the episode. MUSIC Tom Bain. was going to the stag do anyway, so... Bishback Bosch. Ha ha ha ha. Enjoy the episode. TUM BAM. What is it, Matthew? What is it, mate? One of YouTube has got to go and charge our phones at one of the charging stations here at End of the Road Festival.

Oh, well, it's not going to be me. I had a terrible time with my war phones. I once entered the competition to win a smartphone that wasn't made by Apple. And the competition was to get of the competition to win a smartphone that wasn't made by Apple. And the competition was to get your favorite singer to sing a note perfectly.

So I asked Mr. Smith, you know the singer, Mr. Smith, who sings Stay With Me. I asked him to sing a note between B and D. Anyway, he gave it a go. Is everyone taking notes, by the way? We're going to get that. This information might be useful later. He gave it a go.

And I didn't win the phone because Sam Sungalaxi. Sam Sungalaxi. Sam Sungalaxi. See. Sam Sungalaxi. This is the show, sir. Don't look at me like that. This is the show.

Sam Sungalaxi. Sam Sungalaxi. Oh, Sam Sungalaxi. Sam Sungalaxi. Right. And Clark, you're right. This is the show sir, don't look at me like that. This is the show Sung Galaxy some Sung Galaxy some Sungalaxe great and clocky. It's so how did someone say joke? Not technically But thanks for playing along clocky. Yes. Oh, yeah, I've got a great reason actually. I just write it into my phone Fuck is that charge? Beautiful. Well, there's it's that charge. Beautiful.

Well, there's only one minute to settle this. We're gonna have to have a Flashest lap down. Flashest lap down. We're gonna have to Flashest lap down. Show me the face. Flashest lap down. Show me the face. Flashest lap down.

Flashest lap down. Hello, we're welcome to Flashest Landown, the panel show that says, Till now, I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you. And now it chills me to the bone. Where can I charge my phone? Where can I charge my phone?

My phone. Beautiful, beautiful. I am beautiful. I'm the host of Landlord, Matthew Prosper, and we are live at the end of the road festival and won while they're under my weird little Armageddon made of beams they'll be following my rules. That's hello to my tenants Tom Perry and Ben Clark End of the road welcome guys now obviously you can't charge your Nokia 3310 on your own Which friend of your phone this week Tom? Well terrible news everyone the Jamboree is in danger Yes, the Jamboree that we run a fire torched the Jamboree Museum and we've lost our history

So I've had to turn to my My most favored storyteller to turn it into an oral history I think this is a very complicated story. Serra Beneto, everyone. Serra Beneto is here. I've been cataloging archiving. Exactly. All the stories.

Thank you so much for coming along. And thank you very much as well. Serra organizes all the comedy here at End of the Road Festival. Woo! Yes. Yay! Hi, Serra. Thanks for coming along. How do you deal with phone charging situations at a festival?

I've got like a complex system of little backup charges that are in my tent and Elsewhere and I don't know if anyone here is ever like sounds really Have you secreted them around the site? Yeah, I have and I put my name on it and just hope for the best Sometimes I unplug like a bar fridge my name on it and just hope for the best. Sometimes I unplug like a bar fridge, just leave it there for a night. Reeses, printers, anything I can find. Who's we going to print it to a festival? Well, I didn't want to talk about what it's like backstage.

Oh, yeah, sorry, of course. And the listening, sorry. There's printers, guys. So many printers. If anyone's got any admin they need doing, get yourself backstage. Thank you very much Sarah for coming on the show. So many printers. If anyone's got the admin they need doing get yourself backstage Thank you very much Sarah for coming on the show aye bow. Sorry. That's not what I was supposed to do Hello, who have you brought along with you? Spoilor it. You'll never guess it. Is it aye bow?

I bought along my etiquette coach. I've a Graham. I have a Graham is here! I bow! Thank you. I bow. I bow. How have you enjoyed the Etico coaching I've given you so far, Ben? It's, uh, fucking brilliant! Oh dear. What a shame. What a terrible shame. It's worked out perfectly. So I bow, thanks for coming on the show.

I'm assuming you've got a phone. I've got a phone, Matthew. Talk us through it. I want to know the make. I want to know the make. I want to know the model. It's on the table. Oh my God, it looks old. Well, it's, well, it in 2016 on the day of the vote.

And... To celebrate your victory. I would, yes, actually, try unfun't find. I'm gonna blow your mind here. I've got the same phone. Whoa! The phone, baddies, phone, baddies. One, two, three.

He's on my team for a party. I'm enjoying a phone and a directory. So we find the big ones a bit too much, don't we, Ben? You don't want an eye pad in your pocket actually? I don't want to handle on the back of it so I can reach you You've got shit if you have them. It's a big one. That's a big one. Sarah's got a big one. I feel overwhelmed looking at that Okay, so Benetto you've got a bit you've got a big phone. Parry. What have you got going on? This is what we're here for guys

Big phone big big phone big hands. No, not for me. big phone big hands. You've got to cover the charges it No, no, no separate charge. I'm a busy man. It prints as well. Yes Can part of it what's borrow that by the way? Of course of course So about a group of people watching five people just compare their phones Got to start the festival somehow you can't go straight to fifth gear. You absolutely can't. You gotta warm things up. In fact, let's go round the whole audience.

If I ever use gold, here is gold, the biggest phone. LAUGHTER Who's got the smallest phone? Anyone still rocking the Nokia? Yes! Oh, yes! Great, thank you.

Oh, my God. Absolutely right. This is a festival. Now we're talking. Guys, you've just had your festival moments. The screen on that Nokia is too small to play snake. That's a damning heckle. A damning heckle.

Yes. And she's got a poppy on her bag as well, very early. I think she's a drug dealer. The poppy's opium. She's got fun on the phone now. The only good thing about being a drug dealer apart from all the money and bitches is which you get used to after a while because it must be holiday, doesn't it? But it's the snap in a phone in half and chuck it away afterwards. I mean, I've gone through so many iPhones just I felt a bit in an edge.

We've still got the edge. So we've met our contestants. Sorry, we brought a microphone over to the lady who's got an Octo 3310. I've gone through so many iPhones just I felt a bit in an edge. We've still got the edge. So we've met our contestants Sorry, we bought a microphone over to the ladies got an Octo 3310. We should probably have a quick chat here a bit about her Can you name by the way? Katherine. Big round of applause for Katherine. So we met our contestants. We met Katherine, but let's find out who'll be released without charge. We'll do play round one. Oh! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! To the 10 I went, my phone's not sped. Four bars heading back to the bar. Sure, it's going to go far.

But where's the bar at? Don't know. Phone out, check the match on my ass. Get the timer, plug the line up. He's using energy up. Put your phone away. That's what they say. Sure, then the map on my ass. Get the timer, bluff them, align them, it's using energy up. Put your phone away, that's what they say. Sure, then it'll last all day. But quick, film that man, monster plan.

Get it up there on Instagram. Boop, boop, someone set up a WhatsApp group. Festival Legends 2019, woo, woo. Three bars that are cash and I away, phone out, I'll pay with I pay. Festival Heroes forever. Another WhatsApp group, this one started by Trevor. Check to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage.

I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage. I'm going to get on the stage.

I'm going to get on the stage. I love not knowing how long this is going to go. You see me over now, yeah? But now it's dying. You haven't got a charger. How do you name it? Let me flip off all you need. Phil's the time. There we go, guys. Well done.

That's fine. So round one is called Murder Charger. One player is going to take the role of police officer, attempted to elicit a confession. However, the other player has no idea what crime they've committed. Using clues, given by the police officer, the criminal has to work out three things. One, who they're meant to have murdered, two, where they murdered them, and three,

what they murdered them with. There's three points on offer. We're going to start with Tom and Sarah. We're basically trying to tap into the true crime podcast market. Very much the true crime podcast market. If you want to start with Tom and Sarah. We're basically trying to tap into the true crime podcast market. Very much the true crime podcast market. If you want to take that Tom, the listeners at home and the people at the festival, this is the murder that Sarah has committed.

Donald Duck at the Great British Bake Off tent with a guitar. That's who, where, and with what? Tom, off you go. Sit down. Oh, you're going Scottish, are you? I've got full tag up. Great. But for guys? Sit, Dune. Oh, you're going Scottish, are you? I've gone full tagger. Great. But for a good reason, sit down. I didn't know who you murdered. Sit right, Dune.

You didn't know who you murdered. Okay, but you got to start telling. Right? I didn't know who you murdered. I can't tell you enough. Shown, Connor. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't tune it out. I just need to know who you murdered and I can't tune it out. Yeah, it's a cartoon character. What? I just need to know where you got that from, but it sounds good. It's Mickey. It's...

No. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, you confessed! It's... It's made me turn into Puerro! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Woof! I was replaced with Donald Duck, but... Wait, no, no, we, we, we, we!

Okay, yeah. We... You murdered Donald Duck. Yeah, you met the Donald Duck. Yeah, you are, you are now Belgium, are you? Tagged. Tagged. Yeah, I'm not good with accents. Tagged back.

Oh, okay. Tag Donald Duck. There's been a murder in the Clyde and you did it. That's a target. Okay, it was interesting. It was near in the Clyde. No. Eh.

Ah. Where have you moved the body from? You moved the body. This is getting very dangerous now. It was on BBC and then you dragged it to Channel 4 and you moved the body. You moved the body alright. It was, we've got, we've seen the evidence. It was the BBC and then you moved the body to Channel 4. Great British Bake-Off four great British Baker. Yes

Yes, Donald Duck and great British Baker. Yes, don't give me any clue. I'm just gonna guess candlestick Zoot in the clay Would you like to bottle them? Sure. OK, now this murder weapon. I hear you bought it in a five-and-dime. Yeah. That's right.

That is a deep reference. You're bought it in a five-and-dime. Oh, I bet. And you bought it a long time ago, right? Have you got Welsh? In the year before, I don't know where in a long time ago, right? And you got Welsh. The year before I don't know where I'm tacked, I'm telling you, no, no, no, no, I'm tacked anyway. Catfile, I don't know. I'm tacked, I'm tacked, I'm tacked in the clay.

You brought it in the five and time. It's a song lyric, right? Back in the summer. It was in the summer you bought it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh That's it's one of those really we know one thing about it. It's real guys Break it down. What do you think it is Brian Adam's was ever shop first real? I always thought it was rude wait when I was a kid I missed took that for come a first real hard on Hard on That's in the tail you kill With a hard on also let's go on this time in the morning

There's children in the audience. It was like, my first little heart on, play it to my fingers, Blitz. That's a... I was like, I was like, I was in the best day of our life. We all remember that summer. No, I wonder Jimmy Quinn.

Joey got married. That's why it was the summer of 69, guys. So, it was in the summer of 69. Yep. When they say, if you remember it, you weren't there. Okay. Yeah. Well, play if you remember it, you weren't there. OK. I'm being them. My items use this one.

Good job. There we go. I'm taking the dice. So you confess. Tell me the full confession right now in my police station in Glasgow. I confess to killing Donald Duck. What?

At Great British Bake Off with a five in dime. No, a five string. Six strings. Six strings. Oh. I'm going to give you all three points. Congrats. I'm teasing. What? At Great British Bake Off with a five-in-time Noah Fives drink! Six drinks! Six drinks! Oh! I'm gonna give you all three points, congratulations! Amazing! I'm feeling the dark!

We only have to play this three more times! Yeah. Next up is Ivo. Now Ivo, you're gonna be the police officer. The horrifying events, this is how they played out. Andy Murray, in Big Ben Tower with a swan. Oh no, it's another Scottish person. Can I just say, I never, any say you had to do a Scottish accent. I can only apologise too. I'll see if he knows more, Rack.

I can only apologise too. Yes, go on. I vote. Right, Ben. Very Scottish. No, I'm not Scottish. I'm a good old, received pronunciation policeman, always available for auditions. Oh, good cop. I'm here with a young man who wants to avenge the death of his brother. And he's brought a friend with him because he says he can't do this or anything alone.

So you've killed his brother, he says he can't do this or anything alone. So you've killed his brother, he says, and he's part of it that seems quite happy about it to be fair because I get the impression he's lived in this guy's shadow for quite a long time and he'd love to avenge his brother so can't do anything on his own. He's with some European woman. Oh, no. Oh, no. The victim's mom's just turned up, and she's live it as per. She's been watching over this the whole time, sort of unable to intervene, but always there.

Doing the occasional dance. This ineffectual brother and overbearing mother absolutely live it. Oh, and there's an attractive and now we're done with Wife as well. Who we know very little about, other than that she's also always there. You may want to sort of slide your zone in on a specific, like a fairly key specific. I would love it if you were. You don't have to. You can see the expression on Clarke's face, that's not going to go away. That's the side of a deal expression.

A guilty man. Oh, we have reason to believe that the murder took place in in southwest London. Any time until about a couple of years ago when the victim became less sort of effective. I mean, for example, did you make a racket while you're murdering him? Oh, yeah, yeah. The victim became less sort of effective. I mean, for example, did you make a racket while you're murdering him? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus, okay.

I thought I could touch a rabbit from a big longer. Paul, this is Paul's, you can't do this. Thanks for the crap. You're gonna have to think me that one. You're gonna be sent to court. Oh, come on, you're gonna be sent to court. I love what he said. Sent to... I've said...

I do feel a fool for concentrating on the biographical element rather than the many beautiful puns that my dispose of. Was it, do we have to do puns? You don't have to do puns, do you just have to do puns? You have to do puns, you just have to do puns. You have to do puns, you just have to do puns. You have to do puns, you just have to do puns. You have to be a fucking glue man.

It's a Scottish celebrity with a less famous brother and a mum who's always there I've got it now, sorry the murder also went over the net Did you stop halfway through the murder to eat a banana? Are you still cuz I know who it is? I want go on. Yeah, oh do I move on now to the next paper? Please please if I know who it is? Go on, yeah. Oh, do I move on now to the next thing? Please, please. If you know who it is, then, oh, right, I play your part of the game as well. Yes.

Astonishing, if you say that again now. I mean, you should know this on the way here, and I'm Andy Murray. Oh, yeah, very much so. I mean, you're not Andy Murray, you've got to realise. No, I've killed Andy Murray. Yes, good, yeah, yeah. If they get any points for this, then there's going to be a miscarriage of justice, right there. But where did it happen?

Oh, indeed. Yes. Well, I'll never tell you. Because, well, listen, and no, no, no, no, it's Clitz Crackon, because the clock is ticking on me, solving this, actually. And this has been, it's very enjoyable to be here, as part of a Papi's flat chair slam down.

Or that isn't actually the name of the show. The show is actually, I can't even complete this one. You see the extremely sophisticated thing I was trying to do, but let's just say the clock is ticking over and over again. The clock is ticking. Okay. Was it outside? Did I do it outside Big Ben?

Well, well, let's hold off on those chairs, you did it in Big Ben. But yes, it... You didn't think to just give me my name shake there for a second. No, I'm really floundering as a whole exercise. I am. Big Ben is the bell. Lovely, yes. Yes, right.

Because you know someone would have tweeted you that. I should have done it. I'd say yes. You. someone would have tweeted you that after. I don't know, I'll see you. You would have tweeted as that. It would have been me. And the bad news for everyone in this gleeid is that the third one is the one I'm least excited about. I don't feel any optimism about this one at all. I'm glad that this was the murder weapon rather than the murder victim,

but otherwise you'd be in even more trouble than you currently are. You've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, As as it currently stands Listen to the sarcasm in the glaive They just willing us to finish that's all I know I'm I mean, it's not a baby. I'd Google the name of a baby one, but I haven't got the signals Could you just give me a With a bird yep, yeah, but which which kind? It's an hour it down a bit please Ben and obviously that's that's up to me to help you along with that I wanted to start listing birds. No, I wouldn't actually No, not an ugly duckling

So then the final confession is I killed Andy Murray in Big Ben with a swan Wow Congratulations, you killed Andy, you got a big bottle of water with a swan Now it's Sarah. Here's what Tom did the absolute rotter the wicked witch of the West in Argos with a copy of Bravo 2-0 Tom Welcome to the station. Oh, you'll never give me to confess. Oh, Scottish again, interesting, interesting. It makes me wonder how you met the victim.

Oh, you're new, definitely killed. Tender. You... You walked right on down that yellow brick road and you strode up to her house. Yes, I killed the wicked witch of the West. Yeah! That's how we play. Fuck it out. Road up to her house. Yes, I killed the wicked witch of the West. Wow! That's how we play.

Fuck it, Owl. Ow, I know! Ow, I know! Turns out you just use really obvious clues. I killed the wicked witch of the West. She had it coming. Yep. People thought I dropped her house on her, but that's not true.

Well, well, it's weird. Do I have to go in order? I've actually been doing the weapon next. Great. Yeah, do the weapon if you like. Bye. It means I should have started with the weapon. You picked up this.

Baby! LAUGHTER This book that I'm not 100% clear on, I think it's right. The Bible. Potentious. The Quran. It might... It's not the Quran.

It's not the Quran. No, I mean, it's not a religious not the Quran. It's not a religious text. It's not a religious text. I think it's right wingy. Oh Lord of the Rings. Once you understand the subtext, you know what he's saying. Get them all out of here. If I don't know the book, I have to go at this another way. Sure. So it sounds Italian. There's two words in it that end with O. I mean, that one is... There's three.

And I... There's three. That's three. Well, girl, I speak a tiny bit of Italian. Let me see if I can work this word in. E. Comestay. Tomo.

Mikiamo. Detectivo Cero. I can't speak Italian. Yes, that's... This isn't helping. OK, OK, OK. You know the slow clap that they do when they're really like... Well...

Yeah, we're about two minutes away from that. LAUGHTER I'll tell you what, Cera, in this exercise, you've scored a goal, you've scored another goal, you've kept a clean sheet, and all I can say is well done. The list, the list, emo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a military thing. Oh, yeah, so it's a book.

You killed them with a cocky of this tone that is all about being a hard man. Didn't you carry it away carried away while you were carrying this book you were like oh yeah I beat the wiki which the west of death with a copy of Bravo Bravo Bravo 2-0 In this place now did you do it in the Stockholm? Or did you do it in the front bit of this place?

Because let's face it, it's all Stockholm in there. Yeah. It's true. Why don't they just call it a warehouse? Because the front bit is... Argos! I killed it in Argos! Yes!

The wicked with an Argos with August with Bravo 2's hero! Congratulations to the four three points there! Congratulations! Now finally, it is Ben's turn and here is what Ivo did and because his father knows all the high court judges in the land, he'll probably get away with it! Lovely stuff! The swine! This is for the audience!

One with Donald! In Burger King with a KFC bucket! Oh, this is shit in it. Oh, yes. LAUGHTER Wow. The reviews are in. LAUGHTER Well, aye, aye.

Yes. You've lasted. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Sorry. You did this murder very fast. I'll tell you that much. this murder very fast. I'll tell you that much three times very fast all these things are very fast And let me tell you who you murdered they weren't loving it

Ronald McDonald yes Here we go. Here we go. The dream is real But what did you kill him with? So, so fast. It's also fast. That's not you, because... Right. Listen, we were all cynical about the game to begin with, but isn't it gripping that?

It is. You're all lean, there's tension. But it gets some of them to play, I'll see how old it is. I'll say. Yes. You can hold him. Can't, can't, you didn't know you were playing the game. Oh, no, no.

And rightly so, to be fair, because Ronald being there is an absolute disgrace in the first place. Oh, right. I don't know. Because he's gone to his biggest rival. Right. A Forest Green Rover, the vegan football club. I like fans. Veggie Pret.

Of a burning man festival. The royalty, the royalty of non-meeting. Oh, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. It's like his rival. Oh, sorry, Burger King. Yes! And then, and you had insults injury. They killed him with a KFC bucket.

There you go. Oh my God. Oh my God. Will, hope, do it end well and bloody heavy did. Thank God. Wow. Look at his face. It's so heavy. I thought it was heavy.

That's it. At the end of that round, producer Quinn, can you tell us the scores please? So Tom and Sarah have six points and so to pen an Ivo. Six points each. Everyone's a winner. Hey, Kass powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history.

This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcast. Hey cast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. acast.com. But neither team should be casting their contract just yet. everywhere. acs.com Do you lose your tolls? Yes! If you lose you get nothing, games!

If you win you get gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Listen to that audience! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Yes, it is flat games where we're playing our gold exactly right When we play our version of guitar hero which we're calling guitar near oh I'm gonna ask each of our contestants to sing along to the tune of famous guitar anthem But change the lyrics to be about something for either a cafe or the Roman Empire Guitar near oh Ben we're gonna start off with you.

Your song is Oasis's Wonderwall. And that is the thing, either from a cafe or from the Romain Empire that you will be singing about. OK, as no-one really intended. Exactly. Clarke, off you go. I've been eating, drinking, putting out this in four-ings I don't believe that anybody could make this drink without despite the ingredients Back in the morning when I go in, I got all my holes punched That means I get a free one and I'll grind it up and put it in the thing

Then they start the machine and it got drips into the cup and it is that thing And this is a very long song to tell you that You've probably already got the thing I'm talking about There are other things that I would like to talk about I'm still singing Cause baby, you're gonna be the one to make my dream And after all, I'm singing about coffee beans Lucky mates!

Second verse Second verse. So, I'm afraid I can't even ask you because you clarky gave it away in the song. Well, there was a clue. You were doing so well. You were doing so well, but I'm afraid you used both the first and second word of the answer in your song. So that means coffee means the correct answer. I'm afraid you don't get a point there. But I'm going to give you an out ten a full two points for a lovely song. So it was well worth it. Sarah, your song is

The Kinks All Day and All of the Night and here is what you're going to be singing about. In ancient Rome I'm staying at a hotel called the Marriott I am going to go from this hotel over to another place in my more strong vehicle It's a really good ex-harvest home I'm trying to try and not just say a different Harry-errrr Also, why don't you? Yes, I'm here, my people!

There's couple stars I'm hailing up the souvenirs And all the things Are all things... Is it a chariot? It was a chariot! Yes! It's really hard not to say chariot

Because there's a lot I'll take it And you're right, you don't know that song. I told us before the show, I don't think I know that song. And I said, yeah, you don't, and she didn't. So I did know the chariot song. You knew the chariot song which you sang beat if you were over the top of it.

Tom gets the point, and for braving that, I'm going to give you six points for the song there. Six points there. Seven points in total. Ivo, we're back to you. Your song is, I bet you look good on a dance floor by Arctic monkeys. This is what I'm trying to get at. Well, I've gone into Costa to buy myself some coffee beans that you like.

And I've got to chat to the person who's gonna send me those beans in drink form about what she wearing to protect her own home clothes. It's actually quite a luring, but it's mainly because of spillage. Well, I bet that you look good behind the bar at cost of all stuff, I'd throw anywhere wearing this fine thing. Like a 60 French maid making me a coffee, but of course I'll still pay because I customer and I respect the professional relation, gee.

Yeah. LAUGHTER Oh, wow. CHEERING CHEERING Very good. A balsa. A balsa. A balsa.

Don't believe the ink. That was absolutely next level. You know what? Because the song was going way faster than you thought it was all the way through. I'm going to give you the full ten points for that. But you did that beautifully. But then what was Ivo singing about almost a time? It was a...

It was a breeze, of course! Really? And finally, Tom, that one is for you, Sarah. Tell us what Tom is singing about to the tune of Brown Sugar by the Rolling Stone. Ready to vibe it? Think so. Here we go. Hey!

Here we go! I've just been talking to Russell Crowe! Yeah, he's there! Wearing some light-crut He's gonna be wrestling with a tiger! Good Lord! Look at his sword. He's so near and he's waving his spear. Thumbs up, oh thumbs down.

We go and watch him in the center of town. Yes, please, I'm having a nice time. Why don't you kill that crystal you want, you're going at it. Oh, no, that's not nice. But we're not here for nice things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Really good class and stuff.

You're really good. A classic mid-guy, dragon cap yourself, and why not? Someone got it. Can we pick through the second verse a little bit? The wheels came off a little bit. The chariot wheels came off there. So we're having a nice time, but we're not here for nice things. I've been up sums up what happens.

He sums up the situation he was singing about. Where was he singing about? What was he singing about, in fact? Well, I thought it was a gladiator. Except that, with the gladiatorial arena, but yes, because I'll give you that, I'll give you a put for that. And I think, for the fact that it was the only song to have a genuine rhyme scheme, at least for some of it,

I'm going to leave you 11 points at a 10. Oh, why? It rocked all the way up to 11. So producer Gwynne, what are the scores at the end of that round? So Venoniva have 19 and Tom and Sarah have 24. Oh! Well, we've had the rock, let's crash into the hard base. If you uncompromise a courtroom of beef brothers!

Woo! Yeah! You've got a problem, I've caught a little problem. If you've got a problem, I've caught a piece. If you've got a beef, beef. Maybe we can help you, beef,, son, am I your piece? Yes, it's beef bros, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat share-based beef. And today's one comes from Rose, who is here in the audience.

Rose, are you there? Yes. Hey, Rose, thank you very much. Now, Rose writes this, my flatmate is very messy, and her room is much smaller and less tidy than mine. One night, when I was away,

she'd been on a date and took him back to ours. Panicking, I love this. Already people are lovely. I love this. This is good stuff. No, no, this is going, this is good stuff. There we go. This is prime beef.

Panicking that her room was too grim for company, she took him into mine. Sharing is caring, but now they've been on a few dates and she is too embarrassed to reveal the exception. This is such strong stuff Ross, thank you so much for submitting this. She's too embarrassed to reveal the deception to him and keeps begging me to swap out of my room when he's around. Right, what is the solution? Well. Wow. Ben.

This is fab. Ben and Ivo, now you are on Ross's side. Yeah. And Tom and Sarah, you are on the side of the, of the Flamay. The legend. Can we, can we ask a couple of questions? Are they here? No.

They're not here. Would you be prepared to give a first name? No, no, she's going to remain anonymous. Okay, anonymous. you be prepared to give a first name? Okay, and on a second Okay, so they're confirmation name sure Absolutely as a Catholic sure we just refer to as romantic legend of our dreams Well, I think that might be leading the jury slightly hang on so sorry. It's Ross I've lost it's Ross the tiny flatmate. Ross is here right now.

Yes, this is Ross. Ross is the tiny one. Oh, Ross, are you, Ross, are you here all weekend? Oh, hello, Ross. Yes. So we know what your flatmates gonna be doing, don't we? Yeah! Yay!

Bangin' in your bedroom. Bangin' on to your bed sheets. Bangin' in your bedroom all week. I'm requested. Okay, we've got questions. Yes, we're dead. Other questions, Ron. OK, we've got questions. Yes, there's time for a cross-examination, Sarah. You're in a partnership with anyone.

Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Oh, complicated. I mean, are you asking, Sarah? Maybe. Are you sat next to people who you may or may not be friends with? It's like, I'm not asking because I know you've got the ship bedroom now, so I'm not interested. But, yeah, like, what I'm thinking is, is she turfing you in a partner out of your room?

No, she's not. Well, I've actually been away for a month. Oh, it's her room now, Rose. Sorry. Is it just the two of you in the flat Ros? No, no, they're four of us. There's four of you. What? She only got for your room. Queen Rose, do you have the best room in the whole place? Yeah. I mean, I think so. Oh, la, tita! Again, this is conjecture at this stage. You got for your room! Queen Ros, do you have the best room in the whole place? I mean, I think so.

Oh, laughty doll! Again, this is conjecture at this stage. I'd also like to point out that it's the only room on the ground floor, so if you're hammered after a date... When I'm pissed, I love to fuck up a ground floor. Oh my gosh. Can't beat it. Nothing kills a hard one like stairs.

You're an old man these days. Oh no, man! You don't go up! Nothing kills a hard on like stairs Any questions from this side for Rose No Considered living in a bungalow It's not the stairs that the problem. Oh right clean this, clean this up the room. Have you met the guy? Not yet, because unsurprisingly, he's always been in our place, when? Yes, I'm sorry, that's integral to the information we've received so far, sorry. Why did they ever go to his house?

Well, they've been doing that this week, because I've been home, but apparently... This week. His flatmates have come back home as well. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! This week his flatmates have come back home as well Don't worry we will believe I reckon you're sitting with some of my London friends. I reckon you're London from London that now Is it can't be that many of them? Okay, so I think that's enough to no No, you've got another question of your idea. Yes, is it a rental property or is it owned? It is. Great question.

Do you own the freehold? That's what I've ever wanted to know. No, I'd like to know who... What's the ground rent? What? Who? Was it your flat or her flat? I was just fascinated by people who rent. He doesn't get to meet them very often.

Just a bit. A mortgage is still a rent of sorts. It's just a nicer pot at the end of it. No, so we started renting it together. We did it at the same time. She agreed to have the shiproom. She has the shiproom. Oh, she has it. And you got staggered rent. Yes, we do. And you call her room the shiproom, do you? It's the shiproom. But are you on the sweet? No. No. It's also a fact she also keeps the room very messy. It's not only room. Are you on the sweet? No. It's also, she also keeps the room very massive.

Not only a shit room, but she's then it goes to even worse shit. It's very small, so all of her objects go in the room. Objects. Objects. Objects. Go in the room. Can you just turn down the slide? Is that what?

Can you snob? I would like to preface this by saying I love, like, I love f***ing it. Yes, I would like to preface this by saying I love, like I love f***ing it. Yes, I would like it. Do you, can we talk about bed size? Yes we can. Are you... Classic first date, Parry. I need to know when I'm getting into early doors. Are you on the ground floor?

Number two, how big is your bed? How do you feel about bunk beds? So, are you king size? I'm technically a queen size. Whoa! Feel pretty good, queen, Ross, and what's Charlotte? Single. No, she has a king size bed in her teeny-weeny little...

What a twist! Exactly. She would rather bang in a queen than a king! My kind of girl! Okay, hopefully now that is enough of any further questions. Just a very quick question. How long have you known? How long do you go back? Seven years now.

Alright. Okay. Okay. Have you ever banged in her room? Oh. She's thinking... Oh! I would like to point out that it was only because they were builders in my room.

And... So you have... So you have... So you want to twist the project? only because they were builders in my room. And so you have a... You have a... I have a... So you want to twist the problems. Oh my gosh. The accused have become the accused. This has been my favorite beef ever.

And so... You had the builders in your room making it bigger. Yeah, props. Putting it in like a room. She'd bang it in your own making it bigger. Oh, steady. You know, putting it in a mezzanine section for you. Exactly. No sh to begin the case for the prosecution. Your minute Ivo Graham begins now. Listen up, chasbo. I... When you move into a flat with some friends, you have to stand by the choices you make. You take a smaller room on the first floor,

sure, square footage wise, you've made an error, particularly when it comes to the big bed. On the other hand, Ros is the one... Is this Ros, right? Yes, is, is, is Ross right? Yes, sorry, it's struggling to keep up with that. Statistically, if the fact gets burgled, Ross is getting it first. And it sounds like Ross often gets it first actually. Just, just, just, just, stop talking about the builders just for a second.

Contrary to my fellow chaps on the panel, I think a good bit of stair mastery prior to in to course only built anticipation. So why, why, why don't you just take this lucky lad home, go up to your room and just end this carnival of lies. I sympathize with Ros, hugely. And that's the end of my case for the process. Fantastic. I'm O'Grayam, everybody. I'm O'Grayam. And now to open the case for the defence I call upon Sarah Bernetto. Do you have one minute? Begin in now.

Ros, ros, ros, ros. Yes, it is very easy. I feel like you might be projecting, my friend, that you know how to breach a friendship. You know how to truly destroy another's bedroom. You, I'm worried about the objects, frankly, like, I'm worried for sh-kind, beautiful, friendly sh**. Is that sh** from London who the charity work, I think it was,

that's right. And sh** has finally met someone who she loves, and they're ready to settle down in your bedroom, or me it, but they want to take the next step and get into your bedroom. But like, they take the next step, get into your bedroom. But like they're trying for kids and I just think it's like, oh you didn't know, sorry. And when they have the kids, they're going to need a smaller size room for a nursery, which is where you come in because you're going to leave, not only they're taking your

massive, you know, huge suite. My second suite. going to leave, not only are they taking over your massive, you know, huge, sweet, but they're going to have your her bedroom for the nursery and you'll be gone. Good night. Wow, brutal. Yeah, more threatening than I expect it to be. I'm not going to lie to you, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. Rose, how do you think it's going so far. I mean, I feel quite personally victimised by that. Yeah. And... Good.

I think anyone can understand my foodicum and, you know, all of those who sleep on the ground floor and have been exploited, like I've been, you know. She's good. Yeah, she's really good. I like to do this. I mean, this is... Isn't she leading the jewellery?

I just want to... I don't know how courts work. She makes a very good point. I think we need a little bit of light and shade after Sarah took it. You got to handle the truth. What do we have to say now? Took it quite an aggressive place. I'm not going to lie to you.

Ben, hello. You're going to conclude the case for the prosecution. Dam Strait, your minute begins now. Look! This is a house, not a bloody Airbnb. And yeah, the Airbnb in Europe, eh, stands for Bonk and Bang, Padel. Oh, yeah. That's right.

I'm bringing it. I'm bringing it. It's a sign me up. But look, I think... I think there's a simple solution here, Ross, because your single and as this guy who let's face it is more interested in the room than anything else. But they're trying for kids. So I'm on your team So I think you can get in there and Break them up and you'll have both a boyfriend and a big room if that is indeed what you want

Maybe you don't want that and in which case it's not it's not a bloody bonken bang Good to get very very strong pocket bang at the head from Clarky Very very strong work there So Tom now you're gonna conclude the case for the defense are you gonna do it as yourself? No, I'm gonna do it in the style of a deep-sized defense lawyer from a John Christian novel. Yeah. Mr. Fan Shaw Standard. Fan Shaw Standard, presiding and providing your minutes.

Oh, shades on. Shades on for this one. Sure. Your minutes should you need it, begins now. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he We heard a lot of big words from Demde, Posh Lawyers there, from the big city. They come on down to our courtroom here. It's a forest. Right here, we don't believe in walls.

We barely got a roof. I see you there, Janet, you work in the fields. Right here, we simple folk. We don't believe in dem dead doors. He'll, dem dead, roofs now. Where we tear dem borders down. A simple folk. Welcome in folk.

Let me tell you a story now. Probably remember it yourselves. Goes back to a little farmer, went by the name of Jared the man You remember Jared the man tall man Strong man a woman that was the twist Jared the man famously a woman she owned 50 or 60 nine times She owned at least 60 nine in times

She owned at least nine at times, but the final time she owned She owned a farm up on the hill. You remember it there the stable. I used to see this stable right Did the stable have for a door and roofs in a ironically? Yes Let me finish my point there. Sorry, my point. In the middle of the stable and manger. And in that manger, they would feed the sheep. They would feed the pigs. They would feed the horse. No food for the goat. Jared the man didn't like the goat. One day though, the dog jumps up and gets in that dare manger, makes himself at home now, starts to nestle down,

build a nest, strange dog, confusing like pig can eat while dogs in manger. Jared, the man's got a problem. What she do? Shoot the dog, kiss the goat, stroke the pig, and then in the end she burned that fucking stable to the ground. Fuck it, move to Chicago, fuck it. Move to Chicago, God knows what happened to her. You see my point? The defense rest, you all!

She was down in everybody! The defense rest! APPLAUSE Now, I can't adjudicate beef brothers because I recently fought the law in spoiler alert. So, if you think Ben and Ivo and therefore Rose is in the right, I would like you to applaud now.

I know he's big. APPLAUSE But if you think... I would like you to applaud now. I know it's big. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE But if you think Sarah and Fanshawe and therefore you should not be named, made the best case applaud now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, I'm afraid that has to go to Ben and Ivo there. You've got to catch one point then. He's a rascal.

And I'd love to feel we earn that point, but I'd say that is so much more to do with people just agreeing with Rosy's situation than anything. We said over the last 15 minutes. Although, if you do fancy taking financial option, we're happy to come round and talk to your flat. If you want to happen to do it.

Next up, it's the jingle that's so long it's basically headlining this festival. It's the Quick Fire's so long it's basically headlining this festival it's the quick fire round this is the quick fire round it's the round that goes really quickly Which is why it's amusing to us That it's got such a long introduction This is something that we should remedy

something that we should remedy. It should be a really short and smart introduction, but instead it's really long. But I guess we should see this as some kind of opportunity. A bit of time in the podcast that we could use to make some money. Which is why we've been looking to get a sponsor for this jingle. Just do it. Truth pastes something that can sometimes be quite long. Like if you put a long bit of toothpaste on to your brush this jingle sponsored by Toothpaste. Floor right. I'll tell you something else the other day. Out of my veg box, I had a very long

cause yet. We haven't talked about that yet but we'll talk about it after this. Yes, I started having veg boxes. I've reached that time in my life. Will someone please kill me? We're sponsored by knives. Ironically this jingle isn't sponsored by veg boxes. It's sponsored by long courgettes and long bits of toothpaste and long nights. Please use long nights responsibly. Don't kill yourself with them. Well now we've made some money,

it's time to get back to the podcast. The thing that we will never make any money from. So here it is, please enjoy with two-based and courgettes, the quick fire. That's a long knife! Always longer than I remember. In this quick fire round... I mean, we're having a nice time, but we're not here to have a nice time. No, that's true. We're not here to have a nice time.

In this quick fire round, as it's a phone thing show, we'd like you to tell us what these cool young tech to abbreviations don't mean, but should mean. For example, PRB shouldn't mean B-R-Back. It should mean something like big round balls, or buddies roasting buddies Bert Reynolds butthole RIP. A point for every... IMP. IMP. IMP. RIP is butthole.

RIP is butthole, yeah. A point for every wrong answer. So your buzz is going to be your own names. So let's see those now. Tom and Sarah. Tom. Zau. Thank you very much. And Ben and Ivo. Ben. Ivo.

Off we go. WTF. Tom. Where's the you very much and Ben and Ivo. Ben? Ivo. Off we go WTF. Tom. Where's the... Wooden trains forever. Wang the fish. Where's the fence? Ivo, who's the father? Oh! Ivo just had a baby, that's an extra set. Yeah, but it's not related to my own situation.

That's your... That's your baby. I've never used that text abbreviation. I use the abbreviation ITF. I'll tell you what. Rosalind's s**t. I'm using it in that house soon. Where to fuck? Right, we're cooking. Where to fuck?

L-O-L. Tom. Look out, Luton! Right, we're cooking with Ghan's home. Where to? Uh, LOL. Tom. Tom. Look out, Luton! Brackets, I'm on my way! Double brackets, for a Friday night! Triple brackets, oh god!

Going to Luton! And the score. Iggy Pabarthry's had a couple of beers. He's like, lust of life! Nice. Uh, yellow. Ivo. Just Ivo?

Yeah. Yes. One. Half a point. I couldn't decide what to order. I am H.O. Ivo. Ivo.

Ivo. Ivo must have one. He's decided what he wants. He decided what he wants. And he must have one, and I'm going to give you one. That's one point. And finally, EOTR. Yes.

Ivo. End of the riff. Done. Fine. So, before we find out... end of the really good weekend, am I right everyone? More like start the really good weekend. Before we find out the final scores, Sarah and Ivo, is there anything you want to plug to our audience here? I mean, Terry, are you talking about the weekend? Come to the comedy, all weekend is going to be really

good. And if you want to see David Adore, he get their early and Jackson's way tomorrow night, late show, also get their really, really early. And if you want to see David Adore to get their early and Jackson's way tomorrow night late show also get their really really early And if you want to see Ivo just stay here Just stay here being... Ivo chairs and sit on the wings here because we want more, like bring your foldouts Ivo what's the best punch line we can expect from yourself? So the audience know to look out for it I say end of the riff at the end of every single Saturday

Right So producer Gwynne what are the final scores? The final scores are Ben and Ivo 24 and a half and Tom and Sarah are the winners with 28. So Ben and Ivo have to get us up to four bars whilst Tom and Sarah get the hint of bars with me. Thanks to our guest Sarah, Benetto and Ivo, Graeme. We've been Pappy, see you next time on... Flashers Round of... Pappy's Flash, yes, that's not Pappy's. Flashers Round of Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, Pappy's in Top, bye! There we go, end of the road, festival as I live and breathe. Yes, if you would like to come and see a live recording of Papi's flat share, we have one more before the end of the year. Oh, always a favourite one of the year.

And it's in a few days' time, it's on the 9th of December, at the Pleasant's, it is our festive show. At the time of recording this, it's not sold out. I mean, who knows, it might have done already. Come along. But go onto the Pleasant's website and find out. It's a double record. It's a double record. We mean, who knows? It might have done already. But come along. But go onto the Pleasant's website and find out. It's a double record. It's a double record.

We're going to have a beef brother. We're going to have a beef brother. Yes. Turkey brothers, because it's Christmas. Turkey brothers. The one and only lolly out of foe play. And we're going to then do our usual traditional Christmas with two surprise guests.

Flash, yes, slam down. Yes. By the way, at the start of that, some music was playing in the next door room that we thought you'd be able to hear on the microphones. Producer Emma says you probably can't. So when we started singing in the intro, and you thought, it was for a reason. What the fuck's going on there?

What the hell are these guys up for? We had to take and leave our senses, but you know what? It worked out all right. So have a wonderful Christmas, and this episode was edited and recorded by producer Emma Corsham. Corsham team!

Stay tuned for the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call. Choose everyone! Bye! Please! Yes! My friend? You are what? Yes! Please be upstanding for the Patreon.

What? Neighborhood. What? Watch. Roar! neighborhood what watch oh here we go well Well, well, well, well. In he strolls. Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Cocking a snoop, a tilt of the hat. He is having none of that. His name. Oh, no. Oh, no. You've absolutely done yourself here haven't you? His name doesn't rhyme with either that or hat. His name is one chimed by millions. Oh nice.

Heee heee heee heee heee heee cries. My name is Ian Williams. Oh, very good. Here he comes. Oh, here he comes. Oh, here he comes. Hat on the side of the head. Rictus grin. He's dead. Upon his face. is put it down. Richter's grin. He's dead. Upon his face. He's dead. Coins every try.

What? To pay the boatman to take him across the river sticks. But he's falling in the water. What? And his clothes are absolutely sodden. That's right. It's Adam's sodden. That's right. It's Adam sodden. Oh, right, with a Ryan there, we can all be disappointed.

Yes, she will be disappointed. Oh, I'm going to show you a face. She can't. Hap! Cops! So far! It's on the rich in! What? That's on the rich in. It's an animal cock. That's under a chin. What? That's under the chin. That's under the chin.

That's under the cock. That's under the cock. That's under the cock. That's under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That's the full cock of her hat. That is under the cock.

That's the full cock of her hat. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock.

That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. That is under the cock. They're not. Cheering her, raising a loft. They're tankers. It's only bloody Martha Prankard. We're so bad at this. We're not great in it, but I tell you what. Oh, I got a minute. Oh, my god. Yeah, as I live in a deep breathe, we're not going to believe you just walked in. I'm not gonna believe you just walked in. Ha! Cut! Oh, the way around!

Oh! Till it's back on top of the bucket head! A double cock! A double cock! Double cocked on a blin! Double cocked! Now, that is double cocked right on the blin! Ha!

Oh, and his ass is hanging out. Oh, God, I hate to report it, but his ass is hanging right out. It should report it mate. And let me tell you something else. Easy in some of that French cheese. Oh, boss on. Boss on. And I don't have to tell you, what is Bollockser in a jar? It's classic behavior from Craig Lawson! Craig, Boston Lawson. Oh dear. Oh god. Oh god, it doesn't.

It pains me to say it, but here he comes. We'll be right back. Oh dear. Look what old mother Hubba dragged in. How many toes you, Tom? Well, his hat, cocked, so so hard, and so aggressively that actually someone else is wearing it. A generous cock.

A generous cock. A generous cock, as I live and breathe. He's cocked, is that? So much, it's landed on him in his windshield's head. He's giving it away. He's giving it away. He's giving it away. Oh. Charitable cock. Oh.

Let it not be said. And he's here. He's desperate. Oh, yeah. He's clutching himself in the nether regions. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's absolutely. He wants to spend a penny. He wants to spend someone that he wants to spend some of that

Pidley cash. Right. Yeah. Pissed it away. Pissed it away. He wants to spend a penny he wants to spend someone that he wants to spend some of that piddly cash He wants to spend that piddly cash It's Michael Ridley dash My god you guys here he comes you don't get a believe no Here he comes of You're not gonna believe me. No, wait. Here he comes. A bolder breath. Oh my God. This is disgusting to me. Not one cocked hat.

What? Two of them. You go fuck yourself. He's absolutely done the double. One on each elbow. I got an arch. He's actually done the what? He's done the double as he.

He's done the double. Here he comes. The professor himself. He's done the double as he. He's done the double. He's done the double as he. He's done the double. Here he comes. The professor himself.

We all know it. We all know we're in absolute trouble. We know it. We're in his in town. Oh yeah, because of course, please be understanding. Oliver double. This concludes this week's Patreon Neighborhood Watch

Roooalkoo. And attributed to all of our Patreons we'd like to cock our hats. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE