Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Maisie Adam & Toussaint Douglass (Dust the Cobwebs) S12E01

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to dust the cobwebs… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!With Toussaint Douglass - https://twitter.com/toussaint_x& Maisie Adam - https://twitter.com/MaisieAdamLIVE IN PERSON SHOWSMONDAY 21st: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/259064598187TUESDAY 22nd: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/259069783697BOTH SHOWS for £15: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/259069783697Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Matthew and welcome to an episode of Pappies Flashest Landown. Yes, back with a bang 2022, here we go. Yes, it's a brand new series, it's a brand new season, and this was recorded... This is an exciting one actually, because it was our first recording back in front of a live audience. Yes, here is remembering how to do it. That's how I do it.

You'll be able to actually see us change gear and get back into our stride. Yeah, odd to not be performing in slippers. Yeah, you know, it was in me. I mean, I got in a, you might have heard, I actually was in the Phoenix cupboard for a while because I was so used to doing this from my own cupboard. I kind of, you know, it took a while for me to get used to being in front of a live audience.

Well, you wanted to zoom in, didn't you? That was your, you wanted to just, you wanted to just, everybody else was going to be in the room, but because you've got further travel, you wanted to just put a laptop in front of a microphone. They're key now. It's the ultimate endgame for me. That's exactly what I'm aiming for.

What you want to be like is you know when, you know, when they call up the apprentice guys at five in the morning and say get yourself to Billingsgate Fish Market, and they all, you know, they will get nicely dressed up and they show up and clause there, carons there and in the middle is a TV screen that they just wheel out with Alan Sugar's face on.

That's your ultimate dream, isn't it? Your sugar, I'm Karen, Clarkies Claude. Sugar's been my role model for a number of years for a number of reasons. LAUGHTER The man just speaks sense, OK? But yeah, it's well worth following Tom on Twitter as well. Always worth it.

Never had anything I didn't agree with. Fortunately, we were carried by two fantastic guests in this episode. Two-son Douglas and Macy Adams. Ah, don't mind it. Yeah, it's just Macy Adam though. That's how charismatic she is. It seems like there's more of her. But yeah, it's two- it's just Macy Adam though. That's how charismatic she is. It seems like there's more of her.

But yeah, it's Tucson Douglas and Macy Adam. But if you enjoy this recording, and you want to come to... I hadn't finished actually. Tucson Douglas, Macy Adam's contributions. Yes, this episode. Carry on. For nominal.

Well, I'm sorry, but my apologies for interrupting you mid-float on. Yeah, I mean, I'd pause for effect. I think you'll find Matthew. This is the reason I don't do any pinter. I hear a pause and I pounce on it, you know. I can't buy a dead air, but you know what? It's a lot less dramatic as a result. Thank you. Just a few pinter, but check out his Pinterest guys. It's a real delight for you. Anyway, I guess we're fantastic. We had a lot of fun in the end.

From the beginning, actually. All right, Tom, yes, I'm going to inflict a pause on you there. If you enjoyed this recording and you want to come down and see one of the shows live, this is a very exciting month, because we're doing two shows back to back on two consecutive days. Monday 21st and Tuesday 22nd of February,

we're at the Phoenix Cavingish Square with two flat chest down down recordings. It's gonna be a lot of fun. A double billar. Come for them both. Yeah, come down, you know, like, if you don't live in London, this is your opportunity, make a holiday of it.

Come down for the end of the month, get yourself a nice hotel, you know, somewhere in the center of town, come for the Monday night, you know what, come for the Tuesday night as well, and then on the Wednesday night, either travel back at your leisure, or take in a show, take, taking a Wednesday matinee. This could be, you know,

come down to the glittering West End. We're open again, we're ready to see you. Just a good phone, we're not putting on that musical. No, that isn't the third date in this. It's not Wednesday, the 23rd will be doing cats. You've got to arrange that yourself. That's on you guys. If you want to go and see the back

to the future musical, which I've seen, it's very good, you have to arrange that yourself. That's on you guys. If you want to go and see the back to the future musical, which I've seen is very good, you have to arrange that yourself. And that isn't part, the musical isn't part of our epic ticket offer, which is, if you buy both, you can get both shows for 15 quid or 13 quid if you're a patron. So tickets for individual shows and nine pounds each,

seven pounds if you're a patron, but two for a pair, 15 quid, all in Monday, Tuesday, or 13 quid if you're a patron. The old Kotlin expression, two for a pair. Two for a pair. And yeah, if that has a wet your whistle enough, wait until you hear this information,

our guests are to be confirmed. Mm-hmm. Yeah, a little bit of mystery, so you hear this information, our guests are to be confirmed. Yeah, a little bit of mystery. A little mystery. A little mystery to the mix. Book now and roll the dice. Well, they'd be great. They always are.

They always are. They're always great. If you want to join the Patreon, by the way, to get those discounted tickets, you also get over 150 bonus episodes of shows we've done all the way through Lockhamen and continues to do weekly. Then Patreon.com, 4-slash, Pappies Flat Share. If you go there now, you'll eventually get a shout out on one of these episodes. You'll get on the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call. So very, very exciting, well worth doing.

For a fiveer, you get all of those. I think it's four quid actually. It's four quid, you get all of those bonus episodes straight away, it's worth doing, well worth doing. And you're already saving money on the tickets. So actually, you'll work out even less than that. Think about it, yeah. If you keep buying tickets and keep joining the Patreon,

we'll end up owing you money. Okay. Let's not go down that, because I feel like, you know, if people start asking us for cash, we haven't got much of a leg to stand on. So let's just remember that the main feed is, as always, free. So enjoy this free episode of Papi's Flat Shest Landown with Macy Adam and Tucson Douglas.

Douglas's. Douglas Douglas is Tom Why the YouTube has got a dust away all these cobwebs that remain from us not being here for ages Wow, well, it's not gonna be me. No, come on Ben Real confidence, right? It's not going to be me and Ben is going to tell you why. It's not going to be me because I once was in a musical duo with a grime artist. You might remember from his number one single, number one, with end ups. Oh yeah.

Yes, and he was also in service for Tina Vimas and everybody got me out of here, calling to Wikipedia. But anyway, our act every week, I'd write a topical song about what happened in the news. And that week, there had been a real crime spree in the area, because a local gangster whose nickname was Pumber, because he resembled the animal from the Lion King had just got out of prison. OK. local gangster whose nickname was Pumba, because he resembled the animal from the Lion King,

had just got out of prison. Okay. Anyway, we were on stage, and my colleague in the band said to me. Can I just check? Is anyone still following what's going on? There's no really there, we're nearly there. My colleague in the band turned to me and said,

what key are we gonna be performing in? And what's the name of the song? And I said, in in C Tinci Strider crimes up the war togs out in C Tinci Strider crimes up the war togs out is Alan Turingin because I've got no clue as to what I heard all the words. What's that, what's that, what's that, a sort of preaky pun about? It went to Spider. Oh, she was the water. The spade.

The creepers, well I loved it. How even is this good? That's a good, strong word. I love it. I love it. Tinchy, stride though. Let's not go in. No, let's go in.

It's going to make a roll of grey. It's all grey. What have you got to say to yourself? Well, I'd actually just like to hear Tom together. Oh, yeah. Oh, got such a sweat on me. Oh, man. Tom, how can I met Tom?

I'm upset. Well, actually, funny, you should say, Crosby, because cleaning away the cobwebs is actually the term I use for clearing my internet history. And I hope that the last year and a half, I've had to do that a lot of time. And also, I actually bought three grams of dust off the dark cobwebs.

All right. I feel like I've done my piece. Well, I love about I've done my piece. Well, I love about the after-show party. Let's crack on with the show. There's only one minute settle. This we're gonna have to have a... Flash!

Yes, Master! Flash! Oh, no! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash!

Flash! Hello, and welcome to Flash! Yes, Lander. The panel show that says, Hello and welcome to Flat Shest Land Out. The panel show that says, Just the cob, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, web, I'm not the land on Matthew Crosby, we are back. He's actually written all that out. What was that I put on Matthew? Well, do you know what it was? It was supposed to be that song, Get a job.

No better when I explain it. That's what we're going to have to be doing after tonight. I could have saved myself some hassle there. I noticed that on Matthew Crosby we're back under the same roof for the first time in too long. Let's meet the fly's traps in my web of accommodation. It's Tom Perry and Benedict Clark. Oh! Tom, yes.

Tom, you cannot remove the cobwebs on your own. Who will be helping you hold the duster this week? Well, Matthew Terrible news, the Jamborees in danger. Oh, good Lord. But do not worry, because I have the coolest man I know to open the Jamba Re for good. It's Tucson Douglas everybody. CHEERING Tucson.

Yes. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. Listen, what kind of a flatmate are you? What's your flat situation? I'm the flatmate that gets the toilet roll. Yes. I'm the toilet roll buyer. You're saying, oh, you go out and buy it rather than you get it

and you keep it in your room and don't let it in. Don't let anybody else use it. No, no, I buy it for the flat. So you're the response to my job. You're the responsible one. Did you feel the pressure at the start? Just purely for toilet roll buying. Oh, that's something else.

It's a very specialist. How do you feel as somebody who is obviously buying a lot of toilet roll buying. That's something else. It's a very specialist. And how do you feel as somebody who is obviously buying a lot of toilet roll? How do you feel about the teaping situation during trick-or-treating recently? Because we've just had Halloween. When people are throwing toilet rolls, willy-nilly into people's trees over people's houses.

Yeah, yeah. How does that make you feel? Absolutely, second place. Yeah. Absolutely. And also, what ply are they using? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I haven't thought about that, I've been. What ply make you feel? Absolutely, seconds. Yeah. Absolutely. And also, what ply are they using? Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

They haven't thought about that, have they? What ply are you using? Right, I use two ply. Which is suitable. It's all you need. It's all you need. If you go in four, five, six ply, come on now. You need to feel it, do you know what I mean?

Yeah. You need to feel it. You need to feel it. You're living in a dream world. Yeah. All right, you six plyers out there. Come back down to the real world, aren're living in a dream world. Yeah. All right, you six pliers out there. Come back down to the real world, all right? You're shitting.

Yeah. Six pliers, we use a mattress. Exactly. What's that? What's that I do? Yeah, I do. I do. I can't.

I can't. You have brought along with you this week. I brought along my friend, Maisie Ademis. Maisie Ademis. Yeah, Maisie Ademis here! Macy Ademis here! APPLAUSE Macy, what kind... We've got to ask the question, what kind of play are you using?

What play? That I was... That was quite harrowing to hear. I'm at least a three-ply girl. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do well for yourself. Yeah, I'm doing...

That mocked the weak money's coming. That's literally the play of the... Yeah, just feeling it That's literally the pliers. Yeah, just feeling it all up in the supermarket. Because the thing that I mean, I hate to just get stuck on the ply though. If you're too polite, just fold it over if you need a bit more ply. No, no, my school was very stingy on the old ply. Not a sentence I thought I'd be saying on a monday night, but literally like you know the sort of tracing paper.

Oh it's disgusting. That grease-proof paper that would, you try and fold it and it would bake it into like a spike. When I was like, when I was like in year eight I thought I'd started my period but I think I just had a paper LAUGHTER Oh! I'm visceral image. Too much, too much. I'm visceral image. LAUGHTER And you swore that day onwards. I'm always going to go three or above. Yeah, yeah.

You're never going to slum it like this. What's your flat light? Do you buy the toilet roll? Yeah, I think, obviously. I think I'm an alright flat. My trouble is that I have quite high... I think I'm quite high maintenance. Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r

gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gweithio'r gweithio yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn I'm like, yeah, yeah, fine, yeah, fine, yeah, fine. I don't even think I give it across in a fine, I think I give a very convincing, I'm really fine, actually, yeah, very.

Because you're saying that very convincingly, are you actually in a shit mood now? Because... Are you in a shit mood? Are you in a shit mood? Genuinely worried. I've come here to pick a bone. At that time, you not came round for dinner

and didn't offer to wash up afterwards. But we brought so much toilet roll. So we have met our guests, let's see who will be dusting the cobwebs and he'll be casting the dog webs. Oh my goodness. It's been a long time since we've had to do this guy as I'm a little rusty. Is it too late to leave? Where's your poker face now, mate?

Let's play round one And my partner has gone downstairs And they gloriously and away That I'm carrying against the wall And I just stood on my floor as chair For I could thought that I was hard With my glass and a piece of card But then you moved the tiny bit And I screamed shit because of that smiley though

Scattering in my bathroom Oh man, look at that a rat me go It was right by my tongue Take a look at me a girl And screaming like a backpack Oh man, why are you my greatest fan? Does anyone know? Strap in everyone

Why I'm scared of spider Oh! Oh, it's so fun! Yeah! You had range, didn't you? That man's... You had range! You know what? The only way that could have been... Sort of... I mean, it would have been less offensive to the state of David Bowie if he'd dug him up. LAUGHTER

That was the vocal equivalent of one play. LAUGHTER I sent Clarky, so I had three goes at the end. Yeah. And I said, I think on the last one I nail it. Oh. I went with the first. LAUGHTER

Oh, I did do! LAUGHTER I swear I got that, I got that. I'm going to find that, I'm going to find that, I'm going to play it to each and every one of you as you leave. Sounds like a newly eminence and film. I will find you and I will play you that fucking horrible film. I got that in my head and get there. You did get there, it's a shame I went with the first one. It's a real shame, mate.

Well I tell you what, because when we're in the podcast, we'll just put the third one in, just at random intervals, do you know? I'll just throw it to it. In fact, let's hear it now. Does anyone know? Why I'm scared of spider-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO It is mate, yeah. And it's two minutes long. So this round, this round, round one is called Web of Deceit. Now I'm going to give each contestant a fact about something or someone web related. They have to come up with two lies. They're opposing team, they have to work out which is the truth and which is the bald faced foreshad.

We'll start with Maisie. Maisie, there is your truth. Your web related thing is spiders. Yes. You've got the fact there, can you give us two more? Two more. Okay. But like, you know, this any or do you like?

We're trying to fool them so pop them willy-nilly and make them convincing. And I'm basically what I'm doing here is buying you time. Yes, yeah. Thank you. I was really, I was like, use long words. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio.

Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio yn gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. webs, much like human fingerprints, no two are the same. Oh, great. That's a fact, great. Good strong facts. That feels like it's the one, doesn't it? I don't know.

I just don't think the other thing is the other thing. Is that what you said? You said I have to take three. Let's hear it's the one. She speaks to us after take three. Peacock spiders perform a mating dance that many people think looks like the YMCA. Good strong facts. Mae'r ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn fanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ffanc yn ff not. Fat 3, Aragog the spider from the Harry Potter films was voiced by Lorraine Kelly's husband. Oh my god, they're all good. They're good, they're good, they're good, they're

bad. So we've got Lorraine Kelly's husband, we've got the YMCA and we've got fingerprints. Tussant, Tom, what are you thinking? Talk us through it. The rain Kelly's husband. Yeah. Does he have a name? Not on this sheet of paper. I'm sure he does. If you read if he didn't, it would be a bit weird. Nameless. Here's how it feels to us, I think.

That first one came out like it was the fact, right? And we all thought that's the fact. But then, and then you worked really hard to make it sound like the other two were definitely lies. And either you're being really clever or you're really bad at this. But there was a real flourish with the second one. That YMCA, that little detail was beautiful. And it was fun to do. Yeah, you know, there's something there.

And that's what I've got like eight arms. So it could do the YMCA. Oh wait, long, couldn't it? The spider could do the YMCA in one sift like a tiny little. Doesn't need to get three moments of the family up there. I can just do it on himself. in one sift like a body-trial. How would he get, doesn't need to get three moments of the family up there. Just do it on himself. How would he get the letters, why he could do it

in bubble writing? I don't know, it's your fact, Maisie, so. I don't know what Fonte's doing here. It's like Comic Sans or something. Joker all the way. Why? Are you leaning towards that second one? I just feel it's so rich in its detail.

Has it posed to you, Lorraine Kelly, Tazca? Sorry, I think... The nameless... Mr Kelly. There is a name, actually. Oh, right. I'm delighted. I'd like it. It was written in a different font, so I didn't say. In webdings, right. I'm delighted. I'm delighted. It was written in a different font, so I didn't see. In Weedings, yeah.

Oh, wow. Oh, welcome back. Welcome back, everyone. 18 months away, pin shop. I just think it's so on brand that you have a brain that can get a font punch. Straight away. Er, yeah. Er, his name is Liam Kelly. Liam Kelly, okay. That's...

That's... Well, that's discounted that one at the end of the day. Look at him. It's now between one and two, you're thinking. One would be sensible. Two would be... I think two for the glory. We've come here. We've come here to win.

Come here. Clearly not, because you've not gone for the Lorraine fact. Oh! Is it... Number two, we're saying number two... You're saying number two. Yeah, we're saying... Sure, you don't want to go for the Lorraine fact.

Oh, it's like... It's using the key, sure, over here. I'm going to... I'm going to ask you to... I'm going to ask you to. I'm going to ask you to lock it in. We're locking in two. Two for two play. Yeah.

Right. I mean, you were so close to going for Lorraine as well, weren't you? Yeah. But you would have been wrong. It is YMCA, and that is correct. Yes! That is a point. That is a point.

It's all in two songs. They have a three great facts. No, Ben. They were two great facts, and then I panicked. For some reason, my brain went to Harry Potter and Lorraine Kelly. You're a happy place. Now. The lockdown was hard on everyone's heart.

Now, Tussant, your web related thing is Google. Right. You've got your fact, mix it amongst some lies. Okay, so all the facts have to be about Google pertaining to Google. Right. You've got your facts, mix it amongst some lies. Okay, so all the facts have to be about Google pertaining to Google. All of them about Google. Okay. So what you have to do is come up with two facts that are related to Google. So they don't all have to be facts? Well, because I was just going to give three facts. No, no, no. Don't get too deep. No, I know lots of facts about Google.

Two falsehoods. One fact, the fact that's written there. OK. All right, OK. All right. I just can't wait to find out what Google's husband's called. LAUGHTER I'm going to start with the fact, because that's

the easiest one. Why not? Start with it. Don't go just getting on head. I love this. It's player life. This is how we play. Isn't that the way you would do it?

It just makes it by your thinking time. It by your thinking time of course, to the end. But they need to guess the fact, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. What if you want to tell them? So if I give them... This is a mind game, definitely. Oh, no.

And it's worth it. Don't let it go in. Don't let it go in. No, no, no. It's the right... If all three of facts, you're winning, right? You win. No?

Tucson, you know the game perfectly well. Too well. I'm a bit distracted because this kind of reminds me of what I used to wipe my ass actually. It's a paper. Definitely a too pie jobless. Okay. Tim Berners-Lee, who is the inventor of the World Wide Web, with many of that, so far factual. LAUGHTER Is the Tim Berners-Lee? Erm, Berners...

Read the rest of the sentence to Solve. I am! It says it literally... That was me to say Tim Berners high and Lee. Right. Who was the inventor of the internet? Yeah. Brackets, World Wide Web. That's what it literally is. What about in Tucson?

I'm getting to, it's quite efficious this actually. There's not a lot of brackets in this fact. This is also in wingedings, so I'm translating. That's why I think it's taking me out here a bit longer, but I'm a bit rusty on the wingedings. Just give me a minute. Yeah. It goes away, doesn't it? What's your leaf school? It falls on the winged things just give me a minute Yeah, go away doesn't it what you leave school does it all the way you win Tim burners

Hi, Fanny Every time you try me I've got to start again. Sorry. Sorry. That's how you translate winged things Tim burners hi Fanny At least one person laugh just start again to be honest In these one person's laugh, just start again, to be honest. Tim Berners-Heifnerley, it was the inventor of the internet. So to prove that, the first photo, they were able to upload photos to the internet. That's how it's written, is it? I'm paraphrasing now, because we can't.

Oh, now you're paraphrasing. You take quite a long time. All right, I'll do it literally. OK. Tim Berners-Hipenle. Start again. No, they wanted it literally. No, they wanted it literally.

This is what you asked for. You wanted the fact that it's no violence fair enough. No, I'll translate a little. It'll take me a bit longer. Let's go back into lockdown. Fuck this. All right. Let's start.

Tim Berners-Hipenle, who was the inventor of the internet, Open brackets, World Wide Web, closed brackets, to test that the uploading of a photo, the first photo that he used, that is how I wrote it, it's all how I wrote it. It's so well this. He's got a sheet of A3 paper's reading this up. He's dying so well. It was a photo of him at Bear In Mine. This is the first...

Okay, this was testing the cosnight. I need a bit of context, because otherwise you're not going to think this is a fact. Bear is a fact, so you have to bear in mind. That's not what I was saying at the end. It's a little bit preposterous, but this is context. And it helps you actually. So, this was right at the beginning of the internet.

So, you know, no one was using the internet, all right? That's why this particular photo's uploaded because he didn't think it was going to take off to be honest. It was time. It was time. It was time. That's not a fact. Let's go.

It's fucking. Okay. So, he uploaded a test photo and that photo was of him in the bar. And this is actually the first photo, factually, technically, which was uploaded to the worldwide web. So do you want me to say that again? No. So what's the fact, just Tim Berners-Lee put a photo of him in the bath when he invented

the worldwide? I mean, you could put it like that, yeah. I wouldn't be quite the translation, but yes, that was, okay, second fact. Okay, okay. Sorry, this one's in comic science. Google was originally... Okay. I can't even... It was originally called Back Rub.

It's called what? Back Rub. Back Rub. Back Rub. Yeah, it was originally called Back Rub. And... Is it rub. Back rub. Back rub. It was originally called Back rub. And um... Is it the spell it for you? Yes. B-A. C-K-Rub. Now, this is one word.

LAUGHTER Oh, sorry. Are you B? Thank you. One word. Thank you. OK. Third fact. That was the second fact just Google used to be called back, Rob. That is correct. You're going back to Lit Fire Work here, just let them go.

Third fact. Google. That's double-o. No, I saw a few blanks there, because sometimes when you look on that, sorry, a little detour, but sometimes when you go on the Google homepage, because they change the thing, don't they? And they put different, sometimes more than two-o's, but actually the correct spelling is, is two- o's. Google was originally called How you spelling sack club, T.C.? Thank you very much for your ear. Sack club. That's S-A-C-K.

Yeah? Well, it's one word club. There's no hyphen. There's no... Yeah. To point out, there is no hyphen. Because in the early days of the internet, hyphen will be complete. It'll take you somewhere else. It will take you somewhere else.

That'll be probably actually porn. And that's why they changed the name. That's why they changed the name. Okay. Okay. So we've got three facts here. Let's do some repeat then please. No, it's a recap.

I'll give recap. So that's all we've got time for. Three facts about Google. The first one, we're not really about Google. Errm... Oh, isn't it? Why? Maybe it is a bit. But Tim Berners-Lee.

Upload the first of a photograph. I've uploaded to the internet once with Tim Berners-Lee in the bath. Upload by Tim himself. The next one is that Google was originally called Back Rob. Or it was called Sack Club. A game. So.

Backrub Sack Club was our original name for this podcast. What are you thinking guys? I mean I don't mind. My mind is just blank now. He's dazzled you. He dazzled you. Where's your head at? Mine's not at sack club. No, but then it's not at any of them. The Tim Berners-Lee fact. Well, no offense, but I zoned out for bits of it so I can't remember.

I was riveted. What was it that Tim Burns made took a bit of a trip? No, no, no. No. No. The office though. No. The first photo ever uploaded to the internet was a picture of him in the bathroom. Of him in the bath. What does Tim Burns look like? Mae'n gwaithio'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw' about Google is it? No, no. Isn't it? Isn't it? I gave you a little clue with the homepage. It was in there. It was in there. And then Google. Well, it makes you just ignoring them now. Just, I'm just going to barrel through. I can't, no, I can't pursue that. I can't. What are you

thinking? I'm going to push you for an answer, because the question lasted way too long. Why would you call it back, Rob? I don't know. Why would you call it Google? Why was there something called Ask Jeaves for Ages? Well, now we're getting to the bottom of something. Jeaves took a photo of himself in the bath,

and that's why you don't hear about him anymore. I didn't ask for that, Jeaves. It was not solicited. a fwyf yn y baf yn y baf yn yw'r gael ei ddodd yn ymwyr. Mae'n gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael ymwyr a gael y Clever. Yeah, the end, full stop. Are you thinking Tim Berners-Lee is the lie? Well, no, two of them are lies. Oh, my God. Two of them are lies. Right, well, it's back rub then, isn't it? But Google must have been called back rub. Let's go with it. Yeah. Because back rub are nice and it feels nice when you're... Yeah, and it's like we're helping you out. Are you helping somebody out? Are you helping them out?

We're locking in a back rub. You're right to do so, you have to. Yeah! Oh! Thank God for that. Oh. We deserve to come away with a victory there. I know. Well played, everybody.

Christ, please. OK, Clarky, it's your turn. Your fact is about the wicked websting himself, Spider-Man. Can you give us your three facts, please? Yes. Good. Let's hear him. Tim Burnett. Is there a hyphen in that? The first-ish ever issue of a Spider-Man comic featured Spider-Man depicted with four arms and four legs.

And people found it too disturbing to get on board with. Did you do the YMCA at any point? A good, strong factor start off there. Clarky Tumor, please. In the first ever edition of a Spider-Man comic, Spider-Man was depicted as shooting webs out of his butt. No, it's not. A person found it. Two disturbors to get on board with. Alright. So we've got four arms, four legs and butt firing.

Barack Obama. Oh, okay. We're initially depictist. I wonder if they want to see the birth video. Barack Obama appeared in a Spider-Man comic, not the first edition one and Spiderman had to choose the difference between him and an imposter. Okay, all right, so we've got there, we've got the two initials. I'll show you a buzzon. The two initials. Oh, that's a good one. This is how we play, guys.

The two initials, the two initial initial depictions of Spiderman, basically eight limbs and firing a web out of his butt, or Barack Obama. No one expected that. Question, on the Barack Obama fact, is there a hyphen? So what I want to ask about the Brakebama issue. Please do. Yeah. Who was the imposter? Well. What villain was it?

Well, unfortunately, it doesn't say on my fact sheet. Oh, okay. Supposed to say he's married to Lorraine Kelly. Liam. Liam Kelly. Liam Kelly, that little brief, right. What are you thinking? It's not going to be firing webs at your asses.

Why, though? It's a good point. Not afraid to ask the big question. Okay, back to the drawing board. your asses it. Right? Why though? It's a good point. It's a good point. Not afraid to. That's a big question. OK, back to the drawing board. Yeah, because don't spider there's actual spiders, it comes out of their ass. Yeah, so that would actually be anatomically, if they were going for an anatomically realistic spider

man in the first issue, say. His catchphrase has put my finger, wasn't it? LAUGHTER That could have legs. Fires in there. Yay. Evigilable song was Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Fiser-Wab, out of his can. LAUGHTER So is that on the fact sheet? Yeah.

Let me just out of his sheet. Yeah. Okay. Let me just out of his country. Yeah. I don't think it's Barack Obama, because I think Clark, he said choosing from an impostor because of the popular Spiderman meme where he's pointing at himself. Oh, yeah. So that's why he's gone for that. Okay. That's really good deduction, Tom.

So I would like to wipe that. And I think he put the other two It's one of the first two. Yeah I'm gonna push you for one of those two What are you thinking about the first one? I don't think you're gonna write a cartoon where something's coming out of a guy's ass Really? That's not Stan Lee's way, is it? It's not Stan Lee's way. I think Stan Lee I mean I didn't know him personally, so I don't, I can't.

I don't want to like, libel. I mean, he's dead, isn't he, to be honest. But I think he liked a bit of butt stuff. He looks like... He always had that cheeky little glint in his eye. Didn't even cameo, is he? He just, it just like a little finger. And also, actually, and this is one for all the guys out there.

All right, it's quite nice, actually. Okay. The male quite nice actually. Okay. The male G-spot is actually up there. Just look, you don't, you're confident in yourselves. You're sexuality, everyone can have a good time. So I'm, I'm thinking of a stand these messages. I'm thinking of one there.

And America just wasn't ready for it at the time. I think it's number one. Okay, I'm going with two. I'm going with two. Well, you're going to have to work as a team, guys. Like Spiderman's many limbs. You have to work as a team. Two, two ply two. You're going to ply two.

I can reveal the... The correct fact is that Barack Obama did appear. Yes! Come on! ...in the issue of the Spider-Man comic Oh To Obama's showed up it was it was They put it out just before the inauguration to Obama's showed up to the inauguration Spider-Man had to ask him a bunch of questions to work out which was the real one and it turned out to be the chameleon Course the chameleon was the was one of them were you born in Kenya?

Yes. Particularly xenophobic fighting about the relationship. And I see your first person. So definitely. Tom, there's yours. Okay, now Tom, you are to end the round now. Your fact is about our webfooted pals, ducks. Ducks, love ducks.

Who doesn't love ducks, man? Just say that the first fact. LAUGHTER OK. Yeah? So, ducks sleep vertically. LAUGHTER Not on land, but they're in the water. But they sleep in the water.

They sleep in the water, but they sleep in the water. They sleep in the water vertically. How would they be in the water? Horriss on to me. If they're dead. Do you mean upside? There's a duck in the water, right? Yeah. That's a duck in the water, a sleep.

What head in? No, head out. Head out. We got a stone. We caught a pet. That's the head out. Head out. We got a stone. We got a leg. That's the way I like to. Head in, I'll sit up. That's the way I like to do that.

That's the way I sleep, I'm a duck. Was that a little thing? A little webbed thing, just out of the way. They took them in like a plane. They took them into what? That's not on the paper. They took them in like a plane. They blew me.

They sleep vertically in the paper. They took them in like a plane, they had plume, they sleep vertically in the wall. They took their hands in or their feet in like this. They took what a duck is, they took their hands in. Sorry, how they did the way of the CIA. A dog going to sleep stood like how a police officer took their hands into their vest. Yeah, that's actually quite good. That's how you're saying they're going to sleep. Their legs are coming in. They're tucking in like that.

And then up they go, because they're heavy on their bottom, because their feet are tucked in. And they stay on the water, they don't. So they sleep with their necks upright, yeah. Nah, bruh. LAUGHTER Fact two, please. When ducks sleep.

Yeah. Oh, here we go. Half their brain is always going. So they never actually sleep. Like they have half their brain on the go. Like a dolphin or a shark. Like a dolphin or a shark actually. Nice. Number three. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. No. Oh, boy. If a tongue dreams, we've got no way of knowing about it. APPLAUSE I don't tell him that's brilliant or really fucking stupid. I've been... Three strong facts there. So we've got two about the way Duck's sleep. Either... either butt down, firing out all manner of web related nonsense

into the water, head straight up, either with, did you say half their brain not functioning? Yeah, so it's like that in the water. So it's like their legs are down and that is the- You see the top, that's you. That's you, the rest. You're sitting in the seat on, that's not- So they're on the sleep virtually, they are on the. You're shitting in the seat, Tom. That's not... LAUGHTER

So, they're asleep, virtually. They are asleep with half their brain on the go. Yeah, yeah. Like, dolphins or something. Or we don't know if they dream. Well, I mean... No, I believe it was... If a duck is dreaming, we have no way of... No, exactly.

We don't know nothing about it or something like that. LAUGHTER We know nothing. LAUGHTER If the duck dreams we have no way of knowing about us. What are you thinking though? I'm thinking that's something off of a dodgy fortune cookie. In badly trans-loved.

That Duc you've just eaten. Did it dream? Never know. Do you see any Duc's asleep in your life? I don't use to say. I think that when they, I'm sure they do like a little tuck in there. I think they go on land and sleep in a nest. Like a normal duck. Oh yeah, your picture is a specific type of that might.

Yeah, the ducks I'm acquainted with, they like to take themselves off to a... They're pretty straight. What I do if I was a duck, won't catch me sleeping vertically. In the water? In the water, no, won't mug myself off. Okay, so you don't think of the water?

Talk to me the other two facts. And it can't be the first one. I just... It's a real go to your face. And it can't be the first one. I don't understand that one. It's a real wrong man to that one. Is that? It isn't there, actually. It's quite poetic. It is.

What's Factor, again? Factor is they have, when they're asleep half, their brain is still awake. You came in with something about dolphins and shut. Is that true? Yeah. So it does happen. By the way, you know that.

You know that. At least definitely, yeah. So yeah, I have to say half my brain is asleep right now. LAUGHTER I'm about to see half it woke up. If it happens for dolphins and sharks, it could happen for a duck, couldn't it? There you go. Could do. As the old proverb goes.

LAUGHTER Right, which one are you going to go for? I think we're going for two. Oh, I'm coffee, that's going to be the same. Well, go with your little gut ducts. Go with our gut ducts. Where should we go for two? I think two.

I think two. We'll feel like an absolute idiot if we go for three, and it was two. Whereas if we go for two and it's three, we just high five. Yeah, just have a good time. Yeah, great We're gonna go for two please Tom reveal your facts, please It's number two don't stop the brain don't turn a half their brain Well done, Ben. Well done, Ben. Amazing at other points.

APPLAUSE So producer Quint, tell me the truth are nothing but one of the scores at the end of round one. The scores are... Top two don't have one. Ben and Mazie have three. CHEERING God.

APPLAUSE Oh, middle one. So, Ben and Mazie are in the lead, but they could still be on the receiving end of a cop job. Bloody hell. Bloody hell. What the fuck? Before the podcast recording, you told me you listened to episodes from like 10 years ago and you cringed, but I'm cringing now. We're just laying the seeds for the next 10 years.

You got Bernard Manning. You got Bernard Manning. Bernard Hoysen Manning. You were sending a picture in the map. Just did it, kiss up to the sky. He's in a big embassy in this guy. Everything good change when you play around too, but we will see you after this! Ice tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.

See out for details. Let's head into round two. It's a flat game! Yay! Let's play together. Games! Let's play forever. Roll the dice.

Spin that thing. Put that down. Do as you told, games If you lose you get nothing, games If you win you get gold Oh, listen to that We've missed you Listen to that

Don't get that on a Zoom call This week we're playing our version of Tarantula Tango Which we're calling Hang on What's Tarantula Tango, which we're calling. Hang on. What's Tarantula Tango? I think it's a board game, but we came up with a title first and I did see there was a board game that sounded a bit like it. To keep the spider theme, this is called Tarantula. I don't mind it. There we go. So, I don't mind that.

It is how Tarantula works, folks. I don't know. I don't know. As if you have to explain. LAUGHTER You all know Tarantula. Tarantula, of course you do. I'm going to ask each player to sing about a different creepy crawly to the tune of a 1980s pop person. It's up to their partner to tell us what creature they were singing about.

OK. So we're going to start Tom as you're in such good voice. We're going to start with you.'re in such good voice, we're going to start with you. We've got on the third take please. Let's hear it again. Voice of an angel, that guy. Voice of an angel. Now, nailed it. You're going to be singing, now you've got your creepy crawly there. You're going to be singing to the tune of, Hungry Like the Wolf by Durand Durant. Durand Durant, you know what I call them.

Durant Durant, okay. Okay, okay. When have you got the music? Let's go. Let's go. Durant Durant. You can't find the key before you hear the music. Well, as I said, Tinchy Strider,

I am going and I'm feeling alive. I'm on the last beat because I'm out of my hive. Honey, honey, I like to eat honey. It makes me some money, yeah. I'm the best that you've ever seen. But please don't tell me about my Queen. I'm the best that you've ever seen. But please don't tell me about my Queen Do-Do-Do-Do. I am honey and honey and I make money.

Why can't you see I am a big and I am flying around the world having good times drinking some wine because I am a bee Okay, thank you Tom everybody Now I left out a crucial rule there I believe So ladies and gentlemen, that's on me. I saw a loophole I exploited it. Can I just say by the way, I love it when a player starts making notes. Just one note on this one. It's a wasp. Have you got any idea which creepy crawly Tom was singing about? He was singing about creepy crawly. Oh, shit.

Might have to make a few more notes. I've got a note here that really stood out for me. I make money. So I thought this is a really successful. Yeah, it's a successful creepy crawly. So this creepy crawly, you eat honey and you make money. Okay, you're scientists. So they eat honey and they make a sleep upright. Do you sound any idea what the people you call he was?

So there was a bit again. Okay, yes. See how you like to play. I believe it was the bridge. Yeah, the bridge. Honey. Yeah, the middle layer, I guess, yeah, you call it that, yeah. That was quite catchy actually.

That's what I was saying. I'm going to hang it. She's not Steve LeMax Roundtable, you know? I wish it was. I wish it was. It's great, wouldn't it? We've just played a few songs and chatted about it. I would be great.

We can do that if you like. So, what's the Pipecornie Tucson? I'm going to go with B. I'm afraid that's incorrect. The answer was A. B. That is, of course. You know what? I'm going to give you the point, but I'm also going to give Tom an 8 out of 10 for beautiful singing.

Beautiful singing. Really wonderful. Thank you, Dan. Wait until the third take, it's going to be even better. Oh, that's when I come alive. Amazing. There you go. Yes. That's how it works. This game is terrifying. Can I just say? You'll enjoy it. No, when I realise what this I can't multitask.

And this involves first of all, the knowledge of a creepy crawly. I don't know what's in here, but... It's not the actual creepy crawly, don't worry. I've just written it down on a bit of paper. But I have to sing to a song. Yes, I can tell you now the song is Don't You Want Me Baby by the Human League? Great, that will help. LAUGHTER

OK, and about the creepy calling that's there on the bit of paper, OK? Do you just think everybody knows facts about these? Doesn't have to be... Do you think Tom said a single fact? Wow! Yeah, yeah, they make money! So you can make money with me! Which is even listening, Grosby!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I can't idea! Oh man. Bonus points to both teams there, I apologise. May as he, you are going to be singing to the tune of, don't you want me to be by the human league, all about a certain creepy crawly,

Clarky, you've got to work out what that creepy crawly is. Off you go, Gwyn. Great. Well, twice to a year. This is torture. But it's time to... Amazing. Off you go. I was walking down the street with some crisps on my back. Because that's how I carry things.

I was walking with 999 of my friends. Because I like to travel in a park. Let's say the same thing again. I carry the crisps on my back and there's lots of me. You wouldn't want me inside your trousers or your pants, because that's what sounds like me. No, you don't want me. I know that I am small, but together we are my T-S.

You don't want me. No! Um, okay. Wee-n-t-s, I love spelling. I think we're still on the middles. Be sorry. A-n-T-S spelling! LAUGHTER

It's something I like to do with my friends of which there are many. Yes! Would you like to join me carrying some food on my back? I'd be adding everybody. CHEERING Oh, it's all... Oh! That and everybody. Fantastic work, Rocky. I am sweating so much.

It was so much. It was so much. It was so much. It was so much. It was so much. Eurovision, bring it on. I've never felt so much pressure on yourself. I've never felt so much pressure on yourself. Have you excelled? You carried the song on your bat!

Clarke, what was the Creeple Crawley? It was... No! It was... It was Dex! It was DEX! It was Cavanth! Is that he travelling a path? You said they make fucking money, man!

Someone's selling their money! What do you think you buy honey with? Jesus cross me! I apologise to bonus points to each team. Just for fun, let's see that third take again. Oh! God, just stuff. I got there, I got there.

You get a point to Clarky, but I think I'm going to give it 9 out of 10 there points. Oh! It's amazing. Oh! Thank you. Thank you. Oh! Why is he Adam and the Ants? One second.

I didn't even think about what I read. Really, really happy. That was just fun, Tony Swad, Adam and the Ants. Well, I must have, subconsciously, I must it. Really, really happy. It was a spontaneous one, Adam and the Un. Well, I must have, subconsciously, I must have been there, but yeah, yeah. Let's not break down the process. It's like... What happened?

Was that truck out of a truck? A truck? But are you happy? So... This... This you're going to be singing, you're going to be singing about Crippie Cawley to the tune of Like a Virgin by Madonna.

Absolutely 80s banger. It's quite high, isn't it? You've got, you've taken your mic out of the stand. Yeah. Madonna. Okay, Gwyn, when you're ready, I take it, you don't need counting in for this one. No, I do, I don't need some. Also, one. No, I do, I don't. Also, sorry. Sorry, how long did my songtits come in? Yeah, go, give me lots of time, think of those all.

It's awesome lyrics. In that amount of time, he could have chucked about Tim Berners-Lee. LAUGHTER Well, we don't know what the song's going to be like, yeah. He's a creepy guy. LAUGHTER We don't know what the song is going to be like, yeah. He's a creepy guy. I mean, you stood up at the exact right time, but you...

Okay, yeah. We're going to go once round a verse in a chorus, isn't it, Joe? That's okay. This is how Madonna does it, okay? It's more about the performance in the words with Madonna. It's a feeling. I need to perform it to someone. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, creepy crawling. Oh yeah! Oh! Creepy Crowley!

I've got so many legs! Creepy Crowley! Look at me! Creepy Crowley! I've got so many legs! That's a fact. Yeah. I believe it. OK, fit.

And... LAUGHTER Is that a fact? LAUGHTER Count me in again. LAUGHTER I'll just do some... LAUGHTER

I think Madonna does that, I don't know. Love me on Tristan Turns, there. Yeah. Any more lyrics. Oh, yeah, yeah. Lyrics. I think Madonna does that. I don't even trust in terms there. Any more lyrics. Oh yeah, yeah. Lyrics. I'm hungry. Oh, I'm so hungry for you.

Yeah. Creepycrolley. Sing along the Binoia. I've got so many legs creepy crawlies I've got so many legs for you I'm so hungry for you I'm a many legs hungry. Big, big, crawling.

Everyone, creepy, big, crawling. I've got somebody legs. Creepy, big, crawling. He's a scary. He legs. Oh, please! He legs. Two so done, there's everybody. Two so done, there's everybody. And the 100-voiced choir, give yourselves a round of applause. Please.

Sound of the summer. Oh! Gorgeous work. Now, real vamping there. Really sexy. No one expected the 12-in-tree mixed in there. Harry, now, a lot to chew on there. What? What did you make of that?

What are you thinking? What are you thinking? You're essential tree. What tree was it? Certainly was. I mean, I think it's a cow pillar, isn't it? It's a caterpillar it is yeah. A very hungry caterpillar of course. So you get your point but now it's how many points do I give two songs? I'm like going all the way. I'm like going all the way. Do you know what? It's very rare that I do this. Oh yeah. But it's 10 for two.

And it's 10 for the audience as well. No! 10 for the audience! Oh, it's double-warrant. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you. Amazing. The wind breathes by the flowing. I've never done drugs, but I imagine it's something that I've never had.

Well, that's fun. It's not as good as this. Right. Clarkey. Closing up strong Clarkey with a minute tainted, like by soft-tailed. Oh, man! How do you top? How do you top yourself? What a way to avoid the rang. Clar's my last Google search. He's Googling. This one's a real conundrum. Why? You'll find out. OK, here we go.

A bit of tainted love. Gwyn, will you play? Sometimes I feel I'm going ship myself when I see this. Creeper crawler cuz it's freakiest fuck. Mates and then I see it creeping across the floor and it's scary But the thing about it is that it's got so many fucking legs Whoa! That's the thing about it

I really didn't want to mention that But when you see my card there's literally nothing else that you can mention about it. It has actually got loads of fucking legs! Yes! Tainted my pants. Oh, I tainted my pants. Baby, baby, touch me. What? What?

Baby, baby, touch me. Oh, no! Baby, baby, touch me with your... What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Stop, let's stop, oh! OK, I love it. Wow! Lucky, everybody! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Wow. Wow. Lucky, I've said this to you many times, Lucky, but I've never meant it more. Don't touch me, please. I can't stand the way you tease. LAUGHTER

Oh, that really took a turn at the end, didn't it? Wait, it's not pretty. It's got quite aggressive. It's dark very, it's got quite a aggressive. It's dark, it's not dark. I was going to be being cruel. What are you thinking? Well, you're somebody with lots of legs, we've decided that, and a severe bowel problem.

I think Clark, you might have the bowel problem when I see you. When he sees this creature as... I have a fear of them, but you probably wouldn't know that. Oh, I see what's happened here. The reason he shits himself is when he sees me. Yeah. So he's gone for a very, very personal miracle. I'm not proud of this, but my reason behind why I thought you'd done was, oh, I shit myself, was I was thinking the film, the human centipede. Oh, smart. I'm not proud that that's where my head went.

Well, they couldn't have gone worse, but they weren't proud of where their head went. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. Mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, mae, I'll be honest, you didn't give much info in the song. A side-trump. I'm going to give you the point, because it is a centre. It is a centre. Oh, yeah. So you got that. Why are you so scared of a centre-trump? Yeah, talk about it. It's terrifying, man. You're not good with creepy crawlies.

No, I'm not. Are you struggling during this show? Is this a bit tricky for you? What are we going to give Clark, you know, for his onslaughts? A restraining order. What? I mean, the thing is, we've had a 10, but really, that was more than a 10, wasn't it? Shilana, you're getting five. And in fact, I'm giving the audience 10, putting up with it.

An extra 10 going, a producer, Quinn, who wasn't even alive in the 1980s. Where are you, Quinn? He was born. He was born in 2003. In 2003, can you believe it? Tell us the scores at the end of that round. You know the year of his child. Child of the future. 2013, he was born. Tell us the scores at the end of that round. What's that done? So the scores are Ben amazy have 22 The audience have 20 Everything to play for we come in

Yeah. And Tom and Tussan have 23. Oh! Exciting stuff. Well, let's keep that dancing mood going. As we limber under the long arm of the law, it's right at Beat Brothers! You've got a problem, don't call me the problem. You've got a problem, call me the beat. If you're going to beat me, maybe we can help you beat from the starting at your beats

Yes, it's beat brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat-share-based beef And today's one comes from Matt, who is in the audience. Hello, Matt, are you there? Hello, hello. Hello. So, Matt writes, guys. This is name.

It's Matt. It's Matthew Wright, yeah, yeah, Matt's your right here. LAUGHTER Sorry, Matt losing the gig to Jeremy Bryan, but you know, he writes my partner, can play in if I have too many of my jackets in the cupboard under the stairs. I believe this is a convenient intuitive place for them to be housed. That's all he writes. So, it's Matt and his partner. Now, Ben and Mazy, you are on Matt's side.

You're on the side of the jacket. Tom and Tusson, you are on the side of the partner. But before all of that, let's have a cross examination. Now, Matt, just to check, your partner, not here at the moment. Not here in the room. Do you want to give a name? Sarah. Sarah.

If you've got Matt and Sarah, Sarah believes that the coach shouldn't be kept, or so many jackets, shouldn't be kept under the stairs. Any questions for Matt? And sort of the care is the Sarah. Yes. Two-soft. Matt.

Hi. Hello. Great. Report. Already a report. How many jackets do you put in the cupboard under the stairs? Fewer than ten. Answer the question, mate.

I'm really fucking coat, mate. Don't answer in coat. I'm really an invasive. Yeah, yeah. That's really pissed me off that ass. My first is in frog, but not in German. It's pretty invasive. Yeah. Yeah. That's really pissed me off that ass. My first is in frog, but not in devil. Coat boys. Eight. Maybe eight. Maybe eight. Do you say an eight?

And eight. And eight. Suddenly he comes up with a number. Oh, suddenly you know how many jackets you own. Tell fucking surprise. Coat boy. Tom, are you Sarah? Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn That's fine. No, I think we can work with that. We can justify that. They're not big puffer jacket so that you're not like a North face thing. No, no, no, no. So it's like a winter coat. Yeah, a lighter coat. Yeah, uh, Kinele, you're doing alright.

He's got all his eyes. Sorry, yes. A sort of, you know, cagoole. You've got to have a sort of cagoole, yeah. Okay. Kagu-ul. Kagu-ul, how old are you, Matt? Kagu-ul. Huh?

29. I'm really feeling sorry for Sarah at this point, to be honest. Going out with someone, he says, Kagu-ul. Okay. We've had three of the Kagu-ul. What's the fourth one? A reflective cycling jacket. Oh! Oh, there we go. Here we go. He's a cyclist? A reflective cycling jacket. Oh!

Oh, there we go, here we go. He's a cyclist, of course he is. Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry for saving the fucking planet. Where you putting your bike mat, you can't. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, no. We've got to, that's got to be stricken for the record.

Absolutely, I'm sorry, Matt. Sorry about that. It's not going under the stairs. Is it too many jackets! Bikes blocking the fucking kitchen door, Sarah comes home. Anacctel, can you think of a nicer word? It might not even have a bike, you might just like the look. You're a rave, you're new rave, but yeah, you're massive into the claxon.

Do you look after a car park? She look after a car park. What does Sarah get to put in the cupboard? Jackets. And how many Jackets does Sarah have? And talk us through them. I think Sarah has as many Jackets as I do. Oh, here we go. She prefers. I've got a question for you. Why are you with Sarah? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae'n gwaith, mae What would Sarah like to do with the cupboard? What's her issue with having the jackets in there?

What would she want for the cupboard? I don't think she has an alternative. She just wants fewer jackets. She doesn't like the clutter, whereas I think that's what the... What? What's four in it? Yeah, exactly. How many pegs or hooks do you have in the cupboard? Great question.

It's a three-pegger. It's a three-pegger. You're doing 16-pegger. Oh, a free-pegger. You're doing 16 jackets on a free-pegger in a one-potter. You're killing us in that. You're killing us in that. It's absolutely insane. You're just trying to fucking help you here, babe. You're out of the blue.

It's a quote to real cum, but it's 2021, mate. Three. It's real cum, but it's 2021, mate. LAUGHTER Three! This is unprecedented, but can we enter a plea bargain? Sixteen. Sixteen jackets. But the pegs are those pegs that are like double pegs. Oh, right, okay. The long here in the pegs. But the pegs are those pegs that are like double pegs. Oh, right, OK. The long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, got a wins coat, you've got a lighter coat, you've got a goal, you've got a reflective cycling jacket.

Sounds like Jabba Wamba. He says this also right in the good times, he says it all the better times. It's 2021! Oh boy. Oh boy. It's good stuff. It's good stuff, man. It's good stuff.

Yeah. Oh boy. Oh boy. It's good stuff. It says good stuff. What you three more you got a tweed jacket in there? Blazer? Denon Hoodie. Denon Hoodie. Denon Hoodie. Oh, Denon Hoodie. 2021. Denon Hoodie. Denon Hoodie. Back. Lightway. Denim, hoodie. Hoodie. You can't put a hoodie under the sling. Wait, what are the signs? LAUGHTER

Can I ask a key question about the hoodie? Are you a hook-in hood or the little tiny fiddly bit? This is a hook-on. This is a plug-in. You really should hook-on to not misshape the hood. Hood. Oh, god. Monster.

Absolutely monster. Do you know what else I'd pointed hoods? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're a real piece of work mate. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think the case is close. Do you want to go judge dread on this and just love it? I am the fucking law. Right, now I think we still want to hear the case, so I'm going to call the only prosecution may as you have a minute. Oh fuck, I don't know. To make your case. Right, okay.

Remember you're a mat-sciad. If that's possible, it's possible to be a mat-sciad. Who knows? One minute, starting now. Mae'n gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r I can't sit there for a minute, we got a minute, we got a minute, we got a minute, erm, I can't stop thinking about Harry Potter's cock! Maybe I had him everywhere, maybe I had him as your time. No one expected that. No one expected that. I'm going to take like a light bulb. OK. I can't believe this a lighten bowl.

OK. I can't believe this is the second time as well I've brought up Harry Potter and his podcast. I'm not an obsessed. I only had genital hog water. So am I right, guys? Am I right, guys? It's 2021. To your side, of course, you're giving me the case against that, your minute begins now. He's a racist.

Okay. And so, if you go with Matt, you're all fucking racist. And as the only black person clearly in this room, that is a bad fucking move. I arrest my case. The only need a 30.9 seconds and my god he used them. Also Harry Potter got a tiny cock. Whoa! Lucky. Hello.

You've got, you've got a minute to wrap up the case. By the way Matt, how do you think it's going so far? Don't answer that. You've got a minute to wrap up the case for the prosecution. Your minute begins now. Well, I'll say this. You've got a minute to wrap up the case for the prosecution. Your minute begins now. Well, I'll say this. You've got a cup of full of jackets, right?

What else is he supposed to do with them? Because I tell you once, right? I had the exact same situation, and I ended up eating all the jackets, and then I got in my car, and I ran over my car. It's 2021. It's good. 2021.

The defence. Yes. Thank you, Glocky. Lovely, thank you, Glocky. Okay, well all that remains is to ask Tom to conclude the case for the defence. Now, Tom, are you going to be doing it as yourself? No, I'm going to be doing it in the style of a John Grisham defence lawyer. What? Yeah.

We've hardly seen you all panimates. It's a fan sure standin'. Fan sure standinin presiding and providing Welcome back to the world mates your minute if you need it begins now Ladies and gentlemen after jury Feels kind of good to be in the courtroom again don't it well not for one of us perhaps but Good to be out of the house Hey Perhaps, but... To hell, good to be out of the house. Hey, car stretching the legs, smell of the leather crack of the whip.

You know what I'm talking about. He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he I ain't never zoomed in my life! Down to the train station stood in a passport photo booth. Talk into the wind. LAUGHTER Four photos are always the charm. Not guilty, yo-on. LAUGHTER Anyway, I digress. I recognize you from the bakery.

Smell the fresh bread. Round here we good simple folk. We honest folk. We know when a man spread too much mustard on his beef. You know what I'm talking about? Well, you might say that, madam, but you teach my children at the college. Reminds me of the old story if John the butcher. I'll remember John the butcher there, bought himself three pigs for the counterfeit.

Got home, one pig house in his garden. Can't fit no three pigs in one pig house. Two of them slept in the pond. Next morning he only had one pig. Bacon for breakfast. The defense rests your own. The franchise is Dan Dunn. One pick house as we know the original name for Google. 12, isn't it? So, okay, well, I can't make the call myself. I'd love to, but I just don't fancy it. So instead, I'm gonna call upon our live Phoenix audience.

So if you think Ben and Maisie and they're for Matt, sorry mate, is in the right, I would like you to applaud now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That looking good. That's full of racists in the room. Smattering. A smattering. But if you think...

LAUGHTER Yes, we always like to have a smattering. Of course I have a smattering. Too many ruins here, but a few... What? OK. What if you... LAUGHTER

Amir, Souson. LAUGHTER But if you think Touson and Fan fan sure made the best case, applaud now. Wow. Sorry, Matt. Quarantine. Matt, I'm sorry. You're burning those jackets in the back garden, mate.

Now we come to the bits, which really makes me miss those Zoom shows. Because normally I'd nip to the kitchen during this bit and make myself a nice cup of tea. It is of course the quick fire round jingle so let's just sub deep on its milky warmth. Off we go. Oh God. This is the quick fire round. It's a round that goes really quickly, which is why you think it would really have a quick introduction. Oh, surely that's the case. Should have a quick introduction.

But the fact it is quite long. It's been a while since we listen to this jingle. Oh, God. And I'm starting to realize it's longer. Since we listen to this jingle Oh God! And I'm starting to realize it's longer I like it I actually remember It's longer than I remember Can we rewind it to a different song?

So round that's quick. Don't get me wrong, I remember it being quite long. I thought it outstayed, it's welcome and then finished, but it's still going It I'd stayed it's welcome ages ago And yet still it beyond us all So yes, definitely no longer than I remember I mean the way I remember it would finish now and yet we've not been I need a way

And it doesn't feel like it's either she In fact it feels like it's warming up. But maybe we need to make a stand and say no way mate. It's gone on long enough, let's draw a line in the sand. Let's have no more of this long in the desert. I have to get back to brighter. Instead, let's say enough is enough, mate. It really grows old.

This has gone on just too long. Well, that's a real thing. That we have. It's time for us to get all the quick fire Here to be back To have you back quick fire round jingle This is indeed the quick fire round and as our show has been all about cobwebs I'm not going to ask our players to give not one answer to each question, but eight

Like the legs or arms of a spider about cobwebs, I'm not going to ask our players to give not one answer to each question, but eight. Oh. Like the legs or arms of a spider. YMCA motherfuckers? But you only have eight seconds to do it, okay? So instead, yeah, eight answers in eight seconds. Are you mad? I mean, no. I know you want more time.

I've got to get back to Brighton. No, it's eight, eight answers, eight seconds. You get a point for as many as you can get, right? Here we go. Oh. This is going to be hard keeping score when, but I think you can do it. I'm sure you can do it. Okay, so instead of buzzers, I would like you to shout out

your first name, Tom and Susant. Tom? Susant, love it. Mazey? Mazey. Ben, love it. Really strong, not lost it, guys, not lost it. LAUGHTER

If I miss the last trade, that's a bride, because you've been making me say my own name. LAUGHTER Listen, it's your own time you're wasting. Oh, that's... LAUGHTER The bats just start the roundmates. The phrase I was about to be was off we go.

Off we go! Foods! Tom. Tom. Lasagna, beans, cheese, eggs, fish, milk, carrots, avocados. Yes, he's done it. No, he has a milk, he's got a food. Milk is a food.

Milk is not a food. Listen, what do babies exist on? Milk, eh, but they don't count. They need that's their food. Is milk a food? No, no, no. Racists. Somebody says to you, if somebody says to you, do you want to go out for some food? And then they turn up with a carton of milk. You're out of there. Yeah, you know what, you make a good point. Have you ever cooked milk? It's great.

Lovely cook. Oh, lovely bit of cooked milk. Got a cooked milk. Oh, milk on toast. There's a new cooked milk place that's joking so high. Should we go? We should go after the show. Lovely, that's those great. A bit of cooked milk, yeah, yeah. A bit of fried milk. Yeah, amazing you can come with us when she's lost the train. Green things. Ben, off you go. Grass, green. Objection, green is not a green thing. Green is green. That's your eight seconds of a grade. One point there. He's objected during. You've got to save it to the end, man.

There's a green line there. There is. You don't get a point for that, just one point there. Right. Comedians. Who wants to do it? May I see you around to it? Yeah, you don't get a point for that just one point there right comedians Who wants to do it may you see to bounce it off you go amazing amazing Adam two-shot Douglas Reese James Ed Gamble Matthew Crosby Joe Brand Bernard Manning Victoria was Fuck me mate. We sat right here. We sat right here Unbef fucking leaveable! She went for burning money! It's sorry!

Burning fucking burning! Burning, burning! It hurts, but you can't argue with it. That's the thing. You get eight points at a bonus point for listing the full, the eight best comedians of all time. I can't say that. The ultimate insult.

Burned, burning. I've just been told, a grin says apparently it was only seven. Did they book? No, but no it wasn't it There's two Bernad mannings Even now you couldn't say You've got seven points plus a bonus ones are eight But ballers to some to some John Barnes Michael Owen Pelé Maradona

The one with the pair, the big hair. Yeah. The big... Undercar. That's your time I'm afraid. What was that? Four? That was four. Made up for the green, man.

Abbasons. Tom. Tom. Waterloo. Thank you for the music. Thank you. Dancing Queen. Do was the boy. There you go. Types of bread.

Tiss-on. Tiss-on. Sourdough. White bread. Brown bread. Sliced bread. Unsliced bread. There is unsliced bread.

Baked bread. That's a time. Yeah. Baked bread. Yeah. The best kind. Some bread isn't baked. It's not so. That's a time. Yeah. Baked bread. The best kind. Some bread isn't baked. Imagine dinner at theirs, baked bread and some milk.

Baked bread and milk cooking base. It works if you're a hedgehog. And finally, smells. Amazing. Amazing. Bottoms. His cupboard. Grass.

Bernard Manning. Summer. A breeze. Align. That's your dime. How many was that? That was it. Six.

Six. Did you count the two Bernard Manning? Of course. Seven, of course. Seven out of 10. OK, they smell very different. So good, so good you smell him twice. That is the end of that round and the end of the game. I've got no idea how it's gone actually.

One if, by the way. Tell you what, the audience is pretty quiet on that quickfire round, aren't they, the audience? They've got tired. Yeah. No, I didn't mean, I mean, I mean, I meant with their answers rather than their bad audience. Oh!

I meant they were in the lead and they could have, anyway, that's what I was saying. They've got time. This will, before we find out the final scores, is it Macy Tucson? Is there anything you would like to plug? Macy, anything you'd like to plug? Er... No, it's a game. But we're not going on tour anymore. Oh, yes, Malik, not on DVD yet. Not going on tour anymore.

Oh, yes, shit, no way I'm here. Yeah. Probably not after this. I'm on tour a year away. So, maybe see you in a year. What do you say here? Just you list all 30 dates of where I'm going. Oh, you're doing 30 dates?

Oh, 30. list all 30 dates of where I'm going. Oh, you're doing 30 dates? Oh! Oh, 30! You can list that's in your comedians, but you can list all of your dates. Who's your supporter? Bernard or... He's doing two sets, yeah. It's me doing a tribute of Bernard.

I can see that, by the way. So, we can find you, Maze Adam.co.uk? A.com. Oh, she's got a- Oh, she's got a- Riggarding ding! A.com had a very long phone call with somebody who's bought.co.uk and decided to do nothing with it.

So we could buy it off then? You don't buy it off then? I'm trying to buy it back. How much are they asking for it? I can't say. You can't do a fundraiser for me. We'm trying to buy it back. How much are they asking for it? I can't say. You can't do a fundraiser for me. We're going to out bid for your website.

We'll have a whip round. Don't out bid me on my own name. Please. Tucson, how about you? Yeah, Maze Adams going on tour next year. It's got 30 days. 30 days. Whoa. And she's doing a tribute to Bernard Manning, so she's not shifted a lot of tickets.

Get mine. No, I've got absolutely nothing at all. I'm on Twitter. If you want to, check me out. I do some silly videos on Instagram as well, Tucson underscore ground. So check that out. Check them out. This is a really awkward bit of a show.

Yeah, it is. Just a bit of feedback for you. It's feel, I feel a bit like the people that stand in the windows and Amsterdam at the a'r gweithio'r gweithio yn ymdwchegio'r gweithio. Ys gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio Thank you. Thanks everyone who came down tonight for watching. As always, and this is at home, check out our Patreon, Patreon.com forward to slash Pappy's Flatshare. There's loads of bonus stuff over there if you're a founder of the podcast and you would like to give us some money for that. It's a great way to keep this podcast free. We get some cash, you get some really fun stuff. Leave us a review on iTunes, all of that kind of thing. So, this is what we're about, the final scores. Oh! I don't know how it's just going to go.

You just couldn't call it, could you? Just couldn't call it at this stage, couldn't call it. Producer Gwyn. So the audience have 20. Congratulations, audience. They just got tired. Just got tired. Tired, tired, tired.

Tired throughout the end. Bird and Manning has two. Of course. Yes, birdage. All right, P. Of course. Yes, Bird of Man. All right, Peabick Man. Gone, but not forgotten. Up top. All right, Peabick.

Go ahead. That's what's for you. Ben Amazio, 38. Well, the winner is Tom and Tussant, with 47. Oh! Oh! So Ben and Macy have to duck the cobwebs while Tom and Tussant enjoy a few grounds of a different kind of dust.

That's right, rock, roll right out on the spice. Thanks to our guests, the Tusson Douglas and Macy Adam, we've got these. See you next time on. Lashes Lander! The pack-piece, Lashes, stand down, be good back. Tom Perry, Adam, George Berman, and Man in twice. The special guest, Tusson Douglas and Macy Adam, who survived by Papis and Ben Walker. Zayn Leip's vex, he's a quite an accortion, he's helped amazing Anna. Who's the vibe by Papi's and Ben Walker? Then let's expect to eat some quite an accortion, tell them who's the real status,

and who's playing the accortion. Beats that Chevrolet came down to the show! Come and like this, clap down. It's a secret new production, very cast and the internet. Like to the feedings, cheers and bon-bon! CHEERING Well, well, there we go. What an absolute treat that was.

A real treat, yeah. I mean, wonderful guests. Put a lot of pressure on the guests on those February shows as well. Because we've started, you know, we've started the month, we've started the year in fact, very, very strong with that episode.

Strong and long. How would I do it? So if you're out there thinking, you're gonna, you'd make a good guest, stand by your phones, you might be getting the call. Yeah, you got it, that's what. Who knows, who knows? It may be, you may be listening to this now

and you may look down your phone and one of us is sexy, G, to see if you can do the 21st or 22nd. I hope you can. Right, we've got a message in. Oh yeah. We've got a message in. Oh yeah. We've got a message in from Dave and Manchester. Okay.

Now, if you remember the Christmas episode, we talked about the clapping the turkey. Oh yes. Remember this, yes, yes, yes. Well, a little bit of backstory to that. You suggested clapping the turkey tom as a fake tradition. Right. In a fake tradition. Right.

In a flat plan years ago. Somebody half remembered that and played a prank on their workmates. To say it was a real tradition, then they wrote in a message, having forgotten it came from us about that. We read it out, we'd forgotten that we'd said it in the first place. It's very complicated, but anyway, basically it was a made up tradition. And, well, it's been given new life by this message from David Manchester. the first place is very complicated, but anyway, basically it was a made up tradition and well, it's been given new life by this message from David Manchester.

Another twist in the tale. Another twist in an already incredibly curly tale. Just wanting to give you an update on applauding the turkey slash honoring the kill. I mentioned this tradition to my other half and she mentioned the tradition over Christmas breakfast as my parents were preparing the turkey. So in a slight mockery of me, the table gave the bird a round of applause as it went into the oven. However, given that my niece and nephew aged six and four were also there, they absorb this new tradition sincerely, and it lodged in their minds like a thwart in Tom's head. Hence, not only was the turkey wildly applauded when it arrived at the table for Christmas dinner,

but every side dish was similarly welcomed like a special guest on a chat show or a beloved side character on a 90s American sitcom. I fear you've inadvertently created a genuine new tradition for my family. I assume you'll be available next year for the compare work of introducing everything. The bread source particularly needs an enthusiastic warmed up audience. Cheers everyone, happy new year, Dave in Manchester. It lives. Oh wow. It lives. I love it. In 60 years time people will be all over the country applauding the kill and no one will be able to unpick the origins of the tradition. No, no one will remember this podcast. We won't remember.

As soon as I finish reading that email, I had no idea what it was about. But we'll have no clue. But thank you Dave for that message. If you would like to send us a message about anything at all related to the podcast, PapisFlatShare at gmail.com. And of course, if you want to send us a beef, we're going to be recording some beef brothers very very soon and we need your beefs Beef brothers podcast at gmail.com get in touch get in touch, but welcome back pinch punch

First podcast of the month in the second month of the year. Let's know I would think it Lovely lovely to be back I agree. Today's episode was produced as ever by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone! Bye! You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

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