Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Rhys James & Fatiha El-Ghorri (Draw the Curtains) S12E10

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to draw the curtains… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!WithFatiha El-Ghorri - https://twitter.com/fatihaelghorri&Rhys James - https://twitter.com/rhysjamesyLIVE IN PERSON SHOWSTUESDAY APRIL 5TH https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288180163627MACHFEST SATURDAY 30TH APRIL https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-5/MACHFEST SUNDAY 1ST MAY https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-6/Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listen to Dear, I'm Tom, I'm Ben, and I'm Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Pappy's Flat Shest, land down. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, and this was a real doozy actually, we're having a lot of fun this year being back live, being back in the Phoenix in London, and we had two fantastic guests for this one, and let me tell you, the evening flew by. Yes, it really did. It was great. It was the second of our tour, the second night of our tour,

that we're doing at Phoenix, two nights back to back. And we really hit our stride for this show, I think. I think this was, you know. When we say the evening flew by, you're probably looking at, what is it, is it a two-hour episode or something?

I mean, they're always, they're always a real, they're always such a real treat. We never really want them to end, do we, really? We set a line. Yeah, we had two fantastic guests. We had Reese James and Fatah Al-Gore, always real treat, we joined by pals. And yeah, it was a real treat.

We've got some more live gigs coming up, haven't we? We do indeed, yeah, yeah, we've got plenty coming up. If you're listening to this on the day it comes out then tonight, we're going to be back at the Phoenix in Cavendish Square at 745 with Amy Glead Hill and Darren Harriet. Again, two lovely chums. Should be a fun show. Come along if you can. Tickets from event bright dot code at UK. And we're going to be at the Mac comedy festival on the Saturday and the Sunday at 11.45 am. So yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Early morning records. Okay. I mean, yeah. You got there we go. You can have to calibrate yourself. I think, you know, but, you

know, at a festival 11.45 it's not, it's not that early in the morning is it, you know, but, you know, at a festival, 11.45, it's not that early in the morning, is it? You know? It's not for like, you can fit, no, you can have, you can have a couple of drinks is what I'm saying. You can have a couple of bevy's at a level. I think at a festival, you know, in Wales, a couple of drinks is fine. Three points.

Three, three show. Yeah, you can have two points, three show, can't you? I'm loving it. I mean, I'm talking to the audience more than I'm talking to us. Oh,point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Two-point. Three-point. Two-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. Three-point. the Saturday, the Saturday and the Sunday of Mac Fest, which is I think the 30th of April and the 1st of May. So come on down, get your tickets from maccomedyfest.co.uk. There'll be a link in the show notes for you and get your tickets. Two shows, we love them to both be sold out. It's such a fun festival. It's really, it's a really, it's like, it's the birth.

It's a joy. If you haven't made plans to go there, you really should. But you know, it's just, there's something in the air in Mac that people just have nice shows. People just have nice gigs. Yeah. The audience are lovely.

The act love it, so they have a good time. Gotta come along, come on. It's a real festival atmosphere. It's a festival atmosphere. It's something. Maybe because I start drinking it 11 a.m. Maybe that's why I enjoy it so much. Feel a bit of pressure now for a five-good show.

I did listen, I said the act, in a very kind of like distancing ourselves from, I didn't say we have great shows, I said the act. You know, talent, it turns. So let's put no pressure on ourselves. The act will be good. Okay, well before we get to the set-up side, if you enjoy what we do,

go along and join the Patreon. We stick a whole load of extra content out there. You get more bonus footage with our guests. We have like nice chats with them after the show and things like that. For four pads of months, you get an extra episode every week of us talking gubins. So if you like what we do, then get along to the Patreon and hop on board our Patreon community Patreon.com for slash Pappy's flat share. So let's get into the episode. It's gonna be great Tom What is it Matthew? What is it you beautiful baby boy? You're a beautiful baby boy by the way and happy day

These days are us. Oh happy days. One of you two that now listen is not all it's not all love and light. One of you two has got to do the classic household jaw. One of you two has got to draw the curtains. Oh yes give got to. Oh you got to.. Too long we met light streaming in day and night. Tom, what about you? Well, it's not going to be me. It's not going to be me. And I'll tell you why. I had about experience with curtains when I was in a production of Joseph and his amazing technical adream coat several years ago. And it was a strange cast because in the cast was Tina Turner's husband, do you remember him? Who's a Rotter? You remember Drew Barrymore of course, she was in the cast, Nicholas Sturgeon, Scotland's Premier and Pingu was in the cast as well. We had a good run, it went well, we were on

tour and on the last night I thought I'll buy them all presents to say thank you for being good cast members. So I bought Ike Turner a couple of neckties. You know, Frantwo were around his neck. Of course. I bore Drew Barrymore and Ike, a nice container of orange juice. LAUGHTER I ordered Nicholas Sturgeon or pizza with two different types of cheese on it. I'd love it if there was no punny tines.

LAUGHTER And for my penguin friend, I ordered a little just a singular the eye of a fish, because that's what penguin eats. Just the eye of a fish. Now let me tell you, my presents, they had a mixed response because I closed my ties. Drew liked my cartoon. Two for Sturgeon, one I forpingoo. What a destination.

Yeah, I just say, actually, Pary, thank you. Yeah, I just say, actually, Pary, thank you. LAUGHTER Ben, what about you? Well, I'm obviously, I'm very jealous of the curtains Matthew, because you always draw them, but you never draw me like one of your friends. It's true. Well, let's see if we can rectify that.

We used to have a sketch where we, which involved a painting of Ben with a huge naked erection, and naked erection. And you go naked erection at the moment. So Ben like painted in a new painting that you self painted. But then one time we left it behind, a venue, a venue that's not to go and collect it and ask for a painting of himself with a naked erection. Do you know what that is now? It's under my old house. When I was making you announce that, I was hoping to say it's in the loom. It's in the

basement of the house I used to live in. I just couldn't take all of our props but I thought I'll leave a few of them just in the box and then I'll put the picture on top so they get a real treat So I'm waiting for a text from the person who now lives in the house to go What's going on with that When they find that painting that erection will have aged terribly Forever young is making erection That's that's like an original dick pick in it It's all school.

That's how we used to do it in 2007. LAUGHTER Well, let's not forget what we're here to do, guys. We're here to draw the curtains. There's only one way to settle this. We're going to have to have a... Flash, yes! Flash!

Flash, yes! Flash, yes! Flash, yes! Show it with our mates! Flash, yes! Flash, yes! Flash, yes! Hello, and welcome to Flash, yes! We're in the blood, the flat-shears slam down I'm a sheriff without me Flat-shears slam down So we can slide down Flat-shears slam down Hello and welcome to Flat-shears slam down

The panel show that says When your day is long And the night The night is yours alone When you sure you've had enough Of this life We'll hang on don't let yourself go Because everybody cries everybody

I'm not that big of a me. Let's play some attention. Is it the member behind the curtain? It's Tom Perry, but it's in class. Oh, you can't open the curtains on your own. He'll be tugging the drawstring this week, Ben. I bought my swan enemy, Reese James. Reese James is here. Reese, welcome to the show.

Normally, we talk about what kind of a flatmate you are, but you've got an axe to grind. When I said you were on your... You are swan enemies, aren't you've got actually got an axe to grind when I said you were on you are sworn enemies Aren't you are actually sworn enemies when I said you're on a Clarke's team. There's real rivalry between the two We have we've I've looked at that face on a zoom every week between the hours of sort of 7 p.m. and 4 a.m. On his He's been a dick and a wrench He paid his own paintings I really hate in class Every week I hope for a new model every week you're done I'm a drunken arranger. He paid his own paintings. I'm a re-slaiding class.

Every week, I hope for a new model. Every week, you're dirt up. We played poker against each other and some other comedians every week. Glockies, very frustrating poker players play against. Yeah. Why is that? He's topless.

That does actually happen a lot. He's always, he takes it. It wins one hand, he takes it to top. It's how he goes all in, isn't it? Yeah, it is, it's his tell. LAUGHTER Oh! That's why you're losing so much.

So what is it about Clarky? Because I've been working with him for years now, so I know all the things that annoy me about him. He doesn't actually, to play against, he doesn't actually grow on against. Clarky plays poker like a sort of altruistic billionaire. Desperate. Throw in money away. Throw in money away.

Just subtly siphon money off to other comics. Where are the positives? He supports life comedy. He loves it. Yeah. Well, thank you for coming on the show. Tom, who have you brought with you this week? Well listen Matthew the Jamboree's in danger No, no, we've been serving chicken nuggets and they've not allowed

So I've had to bring in an expert on the topic. It's Fatter Halgore Thank you for coming on the show. What kind of a flatmate are you? I'm a bastard. No further questions. Why are you a bastard? How are you a bastard? Because everything has to be clean. I don't like fucking noise. If you start making noise, I'll stab you in the eye. I'll keep you there, make more noise if you stand in the air. And yeah, and then when I go toilet, I have a little B day, so that's, you know, and then I do a poo, and then I wish my bum, and then I go back to my bedroom.

I feel like he's answer two questions there, why don't you try getting asked? What's your nighttime routine? So yeah, that was me, whoever that guy was. Sorry, of course, yeah, yeah. That was a callback, but you just fucked it up. Well, listen, I'll tell you why it's because none of that's going to be in the podcast. Yeah. Although, also, I should point out the chicken nugget stuff, too,

I'm going to tell you that, but I knew that. It stands alone. It's just, it's standing alone. It's standing alone. Well, it's great to have you both on the show. We've met our guests. Let's find out if the curtain... Do you do play... Sorry.

No, no, no, no, top, top, top, bottom. It's very important that you host the show. Oh, dream of this. Yeah, go on. Do you genuinely be there? Oh, for fuck's sake. And we play round one The neighbors suddenly appeared and looked in as they knew it.

I just want the curtains to be closed by you. I am I get instead of by that guy As I try to eat a pot I just want the curtains to be closed by Oh, that's what. Really beautiful. You really hit that note. All the other ones were totally fucked, but you hit that one. That's not one. This round is called the Setty Lurs of Curtain.

I'm going to give each... I'm never going to take a title again and don't overthink it. I'm going to give each contest at the name of a famous TV show. They have to communicate that title to their teammate using up to five sounds. These sounds cannot, I repeat, cannot be words. Nor can they be the theme tune. We're talking noises after here. After each noise our player makes, the teammate can make a guess. If you guess it after one, you get five points and then down from there

Okay, that is how it works right Reese you are up first. Here is your TV show Ben your guessing So Ben if you would like to put on the the eye mask is a face mask, but you know stick it up your eyes Okay So that's you hopefully heightened So that's actually hopefully heightened Hopefully heightened your sense of hearing Okay, and in fact if you in fact do you guys want to wear these as well? Cuz you can see oh my god. I'm it is realized I can see a 5G chip in You can wear that as well so that you can't see what the actual the actual answer is big my ears are covered

I'm talking hold on for you My ears are covered. I'm talking I was on for you. So there you are. I can't believe I've not seen this. I had a peek and it's good stuff. Now, so for the listeners at home and our audience here tonight, but obviously not for Ben, here is what Reese will be trying to communicate using only noises. The apprentice.

Okay so, the first noise. No more noises guys. Reese, your first noise is for five points. No words allowed. No words allowed, no. And is it A noise at a time? Yeah, so you can't do, yeah I can. One noise and then a guess at the end of each one. Abbeef. But you're not guessing first Tom Let me is it is it and I never thought I was this unlimited syllables

Within the noise. Yeah, yeah, there's gonna be one continuous noise I'll judge that case by case I think Okay, I thought this was already quite complicated Thank you most for making it more complicated. Here we go. Also, can I just ask, why is it called settlers of curtain? I'll tell you now, so it's set-ealers because you sit on the set-e to watch the telly. Yeah. And curtain because curtain is the theme and you've got to draw the curtain so the sun

doesn't shine on the telly. It's really strong. It's a strong title. It's a strong, pretty strong title. Am I not allowed anything theme tune wise? No theme, you can't allowed anything theme tune wise? No theme, no theme. You can't sing the theme tune and you can't say any music.

No music, no, it's going to be noises. Sounds will look good. Top of the pops though. You can say the title out loud, that's fine. That's okay. Okay. A loophole and thought of it. You ready?

Ready for the first sound. This is awful. Oh. That was two noises. Oh, I knew it was syllables, I thought. I had to be a continuous voice. I feel like, yeah, I feel like. Take the y'all and forget what they're up a bit.

So he starts with that. He's first two noises. I think I might be a first two noises, yeah. So if you can guess it, that's four points. You He's first two noises. I think I might be first two noises, yeah. So if you can guess it, that's four points. You knew that was two noises, reached yes. Alright, listen, okay. Any idea Clarkies? You were going to be such a tough poker player, isn't it? One foot in the grave. It's not one. That first noise is the fuck going in.

Oh, the second noise is the realising it's in a grave. I can't wait for, I don't. Okay, your third noise for three points. Brum, brum. That's allowed surely. I'm going to accept that. I'm going to accept that. Yes, I'm going to accept that. He's not saying broom, broom, broom. He's not saying broom, broom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's sitting burning him. LAUGHTER Any ideas, Clarky? Top gear? It's not top gear, no. I've not got a fourth. LAUGHTER

Oh, god, yeah. I think it's fairly clear. I didn't have the first three. What I've got is the theme tune in my hair. You can't do the theme tune in my hair. Do all three of them together, please. Oh, brum brum. Okay, let's have another noise. What have you got?

I can say that was the best one, yeah. Is it Clarkson's farm? No, it's not Clarkson's farm, Clarky. You really do have Brum Brum like it's Clarkson, don't you? Brum Brum. Oh, Fatterhead knows it, can we buzz in? No, no, no, no. Let's, let's, let's, let's, let's have one more noise.

Okay, so hang on to that, Fatter. If, if Clarky can't get up to one more noise, then it's all yours. Here we go. Is this good for you, because it's really fun can't get up to one more noise, then it's all yours. Here we go. Is this good for you because it's really fun to play. One more noise. You should all stick a mask over your eyes. You'll have a great time. One more noise here from Reese.

Yes. Oh, I don't know if we can allow, yes. Oh, this is a word. It's a word, very much a word, as you hear. Oh, he knows. You know yes is a word. He know yeses are worse. You know yeses are worse. Oh!

Okay. That says... Yes, he's tricking from the records. Yeah. Didn't hear the yes. I know that I'm convinced it helped. No. It's live at junglers, he's my Rick Wakeman.

The audience really reacted there. That was the final piece as a present. I think, like that was the final piece of the puzzle. Yeah. I think, no, he's number four was the final piece of the puzzle, really. But I think that's where my fatter has got it. So that's right, it's all our favorite show. After life, thanks for playing.

LAUGHTER Lucky. Is it a fast set of furious? It is not the fast set of furious. Any idea at all? That's not a TV show. It's not a TV show. No, no TV show. Any idea at fatter, what do you think show. It's not a TV show. It's not a TV show.

Any idea at Fatter, what do you think? Can I take this off? I'm not allowed. You could take it off if you like. I can't leave it on, because I don't. LAUGHTER I don't want to... No, because I know you bastards will say I cheated, innit?

No, no, no, no. I think it's the NHS bus. You know the one that they said. We have three. The three know the one that they said. LAUGHTER We have three. The three million pound one, is that one? I remember the bus, it wasn't exactly a TV show, was it? Oh shit!

LAUGHTER Also, what's the... Oh yes, at the end. That's when they fired the game, it was the money! What are you giving it? I'm sorry, I didn't realise I thought it was just a thing. LAUGHTER Well, it just a thing. It's a thing with a TV show. Can I have another guest? Yeah, if you can get the TV show that I can. Is it EastEnders film itch or in the garage? It's not, yeah. And you said

that like it was Cludeau or something. EastEnders in the garage with a very red face. Give us all five noises. Okay, here's your all-room together. Can you remember? I'll do my best. It was... Oh, dude. Room, room.

And then... Oh, no. And then it was... Oh! Yay! Is it Amteek's road shot? He's got it. Oh, is it? It's not a million miles away.

How about this? Yeah. Prime Minister's question time. It's not quite a minute's discretion, darling. Is it that guy that, you know, what's the brown like? Okay, that guy. It's a brown guy.

No, the one that looks like a lever, he looks like he's levered. It is the guy looks like he's leather, yeah. The guy is... Barking hunts, you f**k! No, that's... The different guy looks like he's leathered. I'm going to tell you now, it was the apprentice, of course, the apprentice.

Oh! The apprentice. Imagine if we took our mask off and everyone left. Okay, next up, next up, fatty hat, it's you, yeah, that was dog shit. That was bad stuff. Talk us through each noise quickly. Would rather not. This isn't the apprentice, Barry Hill, right?

I don't have to explain myself. Can I just say, I do have, because I do wear a mask, I just want me to say. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's the things that go around like that. No, it's a pretty good thing to wear a mask, yeah just want me to say. No, no, no, no, no, the things that go around like that. No, it's a completely empty mask. They're in my back. Well, they fucking better not be because I'm rough. LAUGHTER And breathe prison.

Listen, you can go mask off for this one. Perry, the mask over your eyes, please. Right. Now, Tom is guessing. So here now is Fatterer's show. OK? Game of Thrones. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, now, it's not a vehicle, right?

It's a vehicle for actors, but it's not a big bus with writing on the side, alright? I just said Jesus, but... That's not what I was supposed to say. That's not what I was supposed to say. I was just praying. Okay. Wrong religion, but okay. Alright, you ready?

Yeah. Wrong religion, but okay, um, all right, you ready? Yeah That's good it's a good start you enjoyed that Harry go with the right creeps Okay, you've ridden something You got a mask on me Right as much as you like you you got a mask on your eyes. And also, you rose it on the fat of your hands, you didn't realise that. Please watch what you're doing. Okay, Tom, any idea for five points? I've got a thing, ghosts.

It's not ghosts. It's not ghosts. For four points here, the second noise. Aaaaah! The noise is it. I've seen that. Can I have them to get them, please? I can't remember, I did, hold on. Ah. Shhh.

Aaaaah! I can't remember how dear it held on. Spring watch? You're sort of close, you're sort of close. You're sort of close. You're really hard to play. Yeah. Next sound, three for three here. Woo! Woo! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, this is an intense program, isn't it? It's certainly, it's made.

Hit me with all three please. Okay. Oh! Woo! I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not really on board with the third one. I'm not telling you what the third one was, but you know, we have painted a picture, doesn't it? It's a tapestry. Any closer Tom, any ideas?

Match of the day. It's not match of the day. Four for two points. For that first noise, what for the equalised? Oh, hit the post! Walls win! Okay, let's do this. For fun.

For fun. Oh, yeah. For fun. Shit, hold on. Me, wee. Can I say ding dong? You said it. I'm going to allow ding dong, of course. We'll have a brum brum without ding dong.

Okay. There are the rules. Okay, we play. Any idea after you heard ding dong? Are you full of sleep? Parry. Any idea with... No, it's house party. It an old house party?

It's not an old house party. It would make sense. Neil Morris, you coming around in the family of the shabby? Yeah. No, it's not an old house party. Final noise for one point here. Here! Good, yeah, loved here, yeah, yeah.

OK, all together, please. What do you be never on in the room? So... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa It's going to be really good guys, yeah. Really impressive work, that's it. But you've never seen it, you know. I think that was, we've all basically seen it now. Go on Tom, consult your notes and tell us. Tell us what you're thinking at the end of that.

Uh, final answer, call the midwife. No, no, no, afraid not. Any ideas we have a team? Several. Um, the junior apprentice. Uh, mid to my murders. Is not the correct answer, Clarkie. Uh, I forgot we were going to get asked. What did you think the most was for? You switched off, right?

Yeah, I did. Well, it's quite a sea of them. It was, of course. Gamer Thrones! Gamer Thrones, of course it was. Oh, okay. The most senseless. What's the thing? what was the doorbell? The doorbell was a queen. I don't know.

I didn't know how to do it, because I was thinking big-bearing, innit? That's a good time, that's not the only queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's seeming game of throttles, you know, innit? A lot of people don't know this fact, but big-bearing is actually the name of the queen. LAUGHTER Not the tower.

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER That was it. actually the name of the Queen. Not the tower. Dragons, dragons were in there weren't they? Yeah, that's the... Yeah, that was a dead person. The dead people, it's the dead people. The Lord was a call to war. That's how just my mum calls me when she's me. Now, do you get points for the effort? No. Now, I remember this from last time, I think there's going to be a nose, a nose going first round. Yeah, I'm just going to think it's round. How can we get some points off the board? Maybe, we'll see. We'll see what

happens. Okay, so it's Clarkies turn now turn now. So everybody else, Mask up, especially Reese. I got a fucking nail bitch. Here, come on. Mask everybody, here's the show that Reese is trying to guess. Call the midwife. Oh. Ah.

Yeah, there it is. Okay, first noise, please, Ben Clark. Bring, bring. Okay, Game of Thrones. LAUGHTER There was instantly a what from a crowd. Okay, that's a five points. You're gonna bring me.

Deal, deal. Oh. Oh, that's a good, it's a good guess but it's not correct, I'm afraid. Oh, God. Second,, it's a good guess but it's not correct, I'm afraid. Oh god. Second noise for four points. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Right. Okay. Surely it's the junior apprentice. LAUGHTER Is it... Is it... Call the next one. CHEERING

APPLAUSE Tom, you wish it's been granted. We've got some points. Sandy, not to your team. Come on, Tom, your turn. Everybody else masks on. Here is what Fatterher is trying to guess. Love Island. Okay.

All right, Tom, your first noise please. Oh! Your first noise please. Ooh! I can't guess. You can guess, yeah. Is it naked attraction? Oh! No, it's not naked attraction. Is it close? Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well Can they get a rewind on that, Tom? Oh! Huh!

Hey! I ain't got a clue. Okay. You remember that, of course. Oh, poor, good god. What is it? Is it the gladiators? Is it the gladiators?

It's not the gladiators. No, it's not the gladiators. Okay, but... Oh! Huh! Oh! You're... Oh! Oh! Oh. Oh, you're... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER Oh, that was good. That was a good... Tom, Tom. I want that one back, Tom. Is there any charge just for the edit? You can give us that again, but make a difference. LAUGHTER

That's what we've got. Oh! Oh! Oh! No, can't do this. OK, OK. Mmm. Oh God dude, okay, okay Is it Cobra Kai Okay, so Oh, huh. Whoa. Wow. Oh. OK, I think that's your five noises now, isn't it? That's your five noises. Fatter, any idea?

What TV show Tom was trying to communicate to you through those noises? Is it first dates? It's not first dates. It's not first dates. One more bite of the cherry, and then we'll throw it over to the other team. It's close, because you were like, who in throw it over to the other team It's close because you like who it is so thanks

So it must be a dating show. Oh, I do what thank you It's not dating in the dark. No, any idea is on the other team. Yeah! Is that a recogniz-lo-voila? It's not! Yeah! APPLAUSE That's why there was a seagull. Yeah. What was that?

Oh, it was a seagull. It was a seagull. Can we hear the seagull again? I relieved about that. Oh! Oh, no! I watched love Ireland like good show man yeah it's a great show. It's very disappointing. Yeah I mean to be fair it wasn't entirely your fault there. Did it sound a bit like love Island? No. So it should be your merch, Parry. That's why

there was a sea god. So for due Emma, at the end of that round, what are the scores using noises only and words and numbers? Ooh, that's perfect. Tom, Fattier, zero. Oh, no. In Arabic, that means a hundred. LAUGHTER Minus. Ben and Reese, five. In Arabic that means a hundred.

Minus then. Ben and Reese, five. Five points, so Ben and Reese are in the lead. But it's not yet Curtin's, but Tom and Fatton, they're still every to play for the week, return in part two. See you after the break, Curtin down. It is Curtin up on part two of Flash S-Labdown!

Flash S-Labdown! Before the break Ben and Riggs win the lead! That hasn't changed, but it might after round two it's flat games! Yeah! Let's play together! Gaze! Let's play forever! Roll the dice spin that thing, put that down, give us your toll, game! If you lose you get nothing, games! If you win you get gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold,

Yes indeed! You can say what you like about pandemics, but they've done wonders for sing-alongs haven't they? You should be silent that did before the odd pandoh People love it now. Thank you Covid Redding around all those little water particles. Let's do it So it's flat games. It's flat games. Yeah, no, no, no, no, by all means. God, I'm sorry. It's up. Sorry. Talk to him. Yeah Sorry, it's up, sorry, I talked to him. LAUGHTER So... So it's Black Games and this week we are playing our version of Backgammon, which we're calling Backgammon. Alright!

LAUGHTER I'm going to give... I'm going to give each player a lyric from... Sorry, what's the point? It's called Backgammon. Alright! I'm going to give each player a lyric, can I just get on more more time? I've got Whip Lash now guys, so you're going to have to start asking me to sing that. I'm not sure it's been that good for singing along.

I'm going to give each player a lyric from a classic boy band. They have to give us three lyrics back, one reel and two they've made up on the spot. It's up to their opposing team, always right guys. It's up to their opposing team to work out which one is an authentic, sexually unthreatening pop masterpiece. If you guess correctly, you get the point. If you guess incorrectly, the point goes to the lyrically blessed. Ben, we'll start with you. So Ben, we'll Lyrically Blessed. Ben, we'll start with you.

So Ben, there we go. Feel free to chat away, guys. No more thinking time, Ben. It's like he used to have a boy band thing that we used to do. Oh yeah. Free mates, we're called random guy. Oh yeah.

We're kind of, we're kind of posing like photos as boy bands. Yeah. And kind of we each had a boy band persona. So like, mine was like the side guy. The ball is guy. No, this is back in the day. I was back in the middle of the year. I wasn't a ball ball.

I was ball ball. I was ball ball. I was ball ball. Yeah, no, I tell that back. I was ball ball. That was a, that was a period. There was a period You were a lady killer, man. He was more like, right?

Back in the day and I had kind of you know, so my thing was like hands in the block, it's a bit shy looking away from you, can't you? Were you like the Jason Orange? Yeah, I was like that kind of guy. I like Jason Orange. He's my favourite. When they just look like an orange.

Clark, what was your... What was your... Stop buying in time. You mean to kind of... You might think this was a cyclone. All in. Just being like... Super sexy.

Are you the sexy one? Yeah. You were the Howard Donalds. Okay. So, top of the fact one. Yeah, yeah. You're the Howard Donalds. Oh, okay. So, top of fact, listen closely, Ben. Ben's lyric is going to come from the band, NSYNC, with their song, Digital Get Down. Can I just say you're finished,

because I went to see them about 25 times. Oh, really? Oh, no! I think I'm going to press this much. His extreme voice or NSYNync, you're finished. Well, it is, it is, mate. It's n-sync, it's digital get down. Do you know the song digital get down?

No. No. That's in a pink one, biggies. That is a shame. Yeah, sorry about that, but any of these sides. You think this is the big side? I think it's a bit of a... Okay, digital get down.

Now, Clarke, give us some lyrics. Now, remember, one of these is absolutely real. The other two from Clarky himself, so Clarky, in any order. Okay, I'll start with the real one. He's poker in us, he's doing his poker thing! Keep that top on. Don't keep that top on, you sexy beast. I lose my mind just when you're speaking.

I see you on the screen. I get to freaking. He read that far too well for it to be written down. He's a bad cold reader. I don't even know about Clark. Yeah, that was fluent. Oh, wait, that's written down. Okay.

Is that all three of them? Or is that just one? That's just one. That's a lot, man. What's this? It's a lot, yeah. Okay, it's a lot. It's a good point.

What's the people? Sorry, what was it again? I'm not sure you can do that. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, for the questions, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Tom, tell me a bit more about Random Guy for some reason. Some in a Bourn Bowl. No, no. I got it. I lose my mind just when you're speaking. I see you on the screen.

I get to freaking. Yeah, to freaking. All right. Pretty good. I'll play. One more more and then another one. I love to see you girl, the way you move. Check out my hips. Oh yeah, they're smooth.

You don't think I have smooth hips? And did they have them in a digital way? Well they did justly smooth. Yeah. Such tiny pixels on these hips. No, no, no. Okay. Look at this girl.

So watch me work it. Work it, work it. Watch out now. Don't get too close. You'll hurt it. Heard it, heard it. LAUGHTER We all thought he was going to ride with jerky, didn't we? LAUGHTER

Fire up zoom and that's all jerky. LAUGHTER OK, so we've got the smooth hips. we've got the work at work at, and we've got the getting the screen to the freaking. Getting the screen to the freaking. Which one of those? The expert here. Which one of the screen, because it's digital, isn't it?

It's got digital in the time. OK, how would he want us to think though? You've got to get inside the mind of a master poker player. Well, no, for a player who'd be glarky, he would not be aware of any of this. I'm 10 to 10. Right! He's the first one, yeah.

Is that the one with the screen? The digital one. Yeah, I think it's the digital one. I would look into his eyes, but he's hers in the way. LAUGHTER We're going to go... I mean... Yeah, we're not going to mess around here. We're going to go... I'm in. Yeah, we're not going to mess around here.

Yeah, let's go digital. Oh, I... Yeah. You're going to go number one, the correct lyric please. The correct lyric was... Excuse me. Take it off. You're reading that.

You're doing so well, man. Anyway, you were right, you've got the point. You've got the point. It is, I lose by my way. I see you on the screen, I get to break it. It was, it was. Well done. Very well done, batter. Now, it's such an early naughty song title isn't it? Digestalk get down. Oh yeah. It's not aged well. Why 2K grind? LAUGHTER So, here we go, Fatter, this is for you now.

It's got my name wrong, that's out of all, don't I? No, I'm joking. CHEERING CHEERING Oh! LAUGHTER Told you I was a bus. Yeah, you are, mate. You are. Oh! Oh! Told you I was a boss! Yeah, you are, mate. You are! This is from...

Factory Boys, another one of your faves, right? Yeah. And this is, if you want to be a good girl, brackets, get yourself a bad boy-close brackets. Okay, you got it. What was your... If you want to be a good girl, get yourself a bad boy. I've never heard this song, you know. No.

I used to go and see them a lot. But I used to have to tell my mum I was going to see Mariah Carey, otherwise she'd get mad. That's what happens when you're Muslim and Arab in it. You just have to change all the act. All the things you're going to do. If you're going to see a boyfriend, you're going to see a girlfriend. You know what I mean going to go with her?

No. No, if it's high stuff to say things about, I'm going to Koran. That's why I said. That's what she thinks I am now, but anyway. Mariah Korani. I'm now, but anyway. Mariah Karani. All right, so this is from, if you want to be a good girl, get yourself a bad boy. It's great. It's great, it's on time.

Have a, yes, a good. Have a little listen to these lyrics, guys, and see if you can work out which is which. Tell me why. Ain't nothing. LAUGHTER Are you laughing, he's a real man! They had certain lead motif they used, don't remember again, didn't they? Yeah. They were the first boy gone with a catch phrase.

Listen, I'm trying to make it easy for you, so be grateful. The first boy gone with a catch phrase. Listen, I'm trying to make it easy for you. It's a big grateful. Yeah. Tell me why. Ain't nothing but a heartache. Is that enough? What do you want more? As much as he's written down. That's what down. Oh. LAUGHTER That's what I had in the game works. LAUGHTER

You are allowed to make these up, you know. You don't just draw from your vast knowledge of other backstreet boys songs. I am not doing that. How dare you! Please do that. My apologies. Right, so tell me why I ain't nothing but heartache. I'm trying to read this. English is not my first time. I said That's a liar's born in Hackney. Just like that. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. I got it. I got it. You got it. If you really, if you really like it hot, we try to do it by like, God. If you really like it hot, get someone who hits the spot.

The spot, shout! Don't make me go peggy, mechal, get out of my bar! It's like it's just karaoke, you know? Is there anyone joining in? Okay, let me just go back to the line, you know, I really disrupt him here, you know. Sorry, so we've got... If you really like it hot,

get someone who hits the spot, honey, oh yeah. Oh yeah, okay. Honey, oh yeah. And the third and final. Okay, the third and final one is... I really have them written. I've got the final one.

I just had her black hair for a little bit. This is cool. Right, be a good, good girl. Get yourself a bad, bad boy. Oh yeah. Well, just You mind me of the song title again It was of course if you want to be a good girl get you Thank you now it's up to you to decide whether or not I would put the phrase that in the title

whether or not I would put the phrase that's in the title, as one of the lyrics. So. Was Frank was bluffs? What is he here? So, what do you think? I'm thinking all in number two. Yeah. I agree.

Fatih, put it down on my misery and tell us, what's the real lyric? Which one did you say? You said two, which is what? What was it? It was the one that was written on the paper in front of me Right so the real one is if you really like it hot get someone who is this spot honey. Oh, yeah honey. Oh, yes Did you guess it was that one

They shouted out oh yeah Let's blame them let's blame them. Let's blame them. Let's blame them. OK, so Rhys, you are up next. Here we go. Now, I'd like you to favor us with some lyrics from Fives confusingly titled Party Line 555 Online. If you want to put it to this time.

So it's put in the song's called Party Line 555 Online by Five. Okay, now, three lyrics, now Fatter and Tom, you're gonna try and guess which one is the real lyric reach. Can we hear the first lyric please? Sure. try and guess which one is the real lyric reach can we hear the first lyric please sure no bugging baby you got to be mine time to log in lady and get online it's good he's good he's good this is why he wins the poker okay next one Next one. C'mon. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER C'mon.

LAUGHTER This is an impossible task. It's hard. Certainly hard, yeah. But you're doing very well. And you can read. LAUGHTER I don't want to hear no bitching. Can't stand the heat.

Get out the kitchen. Surely not. Surely not. You ready? Oh yeah. Go on ready. Go on ready baby. Now Michelle got the body.

Julia got the back. Lisa got the energy to help me stay on track. Oh! Boy, oh boy. A Menager, eight. Okay. Does anyone in the audience know the answer? I know they're not supposed to say sorry, I just let them have me back again. This is the question right.

Did you just do the members of S Club 7 in five? Oh, shut up Ben, it's going to block. I knew you didn't know how to do it. Yeah, because if it's the third one then that's kind of... That's along the lines of man bone number five isn't it? Was this them? He said the band five. They did used to do shit like that in them days. Name girls from different, whatever.

This is all bollocks. One of them. from whatever. This is all bollocks. Fatter, where do you stand, one or three? We're getting rid of two, right? It's not bitching in the kitchen. It's definitely not bitching in the kitchen. I think it's three. Do you think it's the listen name? Yes. One to do with bitch they would bitch in the kitchen. What was the first one again? Reminders to the general theme of the first one.

I think we're gonna go with three. Do you think? I think we're gonna go with three. Yeah. I think we're gonna go with three. His BDI say three. I think yeah. You know what?

I wonder when they'd come up. I don't think I've generally done anything in my professional life because someone has got these BDIs. And the band is BDI. So we go three fine lances. Yeah. Okay. Reese. Correct what was now Michelle got the body, Jimmy got the back, Lisa got the body.

I'll be running. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. That was well played. That was really well played. That was really well played. You've got a few children of boy band,

you really have. So finally, Tom, let's take things back to our childhood with a self titled, New Kids on the Block by New Kids on the Block. Okay? Love New Kids on the Block. Ready to on the Block. Okay, love New Kids on the Block. Ready to hang tough? Yes.

Do it. New Kids on the Block by New Kids on the Block. What was your favorite boy band? New Kids on the Block, hang it tough. Sorry, I was just trying to give you a bit of. Okay, New Kids on the Block, buy new kids on the block. Okay. Okay.

We never talk trash because we're on the clock. Okay. Yeah. We never talk trash because we're on the clock. Professional. Just don't know where this is going. Ain't no good being an old kid. He's got a whole family, those old kids. I think we can have a snappier title for them. We never talk trash because we're on the clock. Ain't no good being an old kid when you're on our block, okay? All right. We never talk trash. Oh hold on. Oh hold on. We never talk trash and that's the truth.

You know, a fatelara there. We never talk trash and that's the truth. With the new kids on this block. You better hope they drink the mousse. We never saw trash, ain't that the truth? We're the new kids on this block, and we've got the proof. Suck it! Is that on the sheet as well? Oh, Donnie Walberg from the back. We never talk trash. Rhymns a clean Stethfawr slyyd yn ffawr We never talk trash, our rhymes are clean, our rhymes are never vague and we say nothing

could seem. Okay, so one is the weakest one but why do you think it's the one that goes we never talk trash? If they never talk trash one We're established one thing we know that they never talk trash, but Is it the the the the truth proof for that I mean I cover it? The immediate which one is it? Trash and we're on the clock. It's it's block. We're on the clock and block block clock Truth and proof proof

Clean and clean and obscene of course Right thingy is so yeah come on I'm going to prove... Clean and clean. Clean and obscene, of course. Of course it was. Right, think he is, so. Yeah, come on. You know, halfway through the second one, I was out. Yeah, I'd never know, I was like, oh, he's doing a bit. He's doing a bit. He's doing a bit.

But then the third one... He's going to prove that I know where. Third one. He's doing another bit. And the third one does relate to the title. Oh, is he? He's just about being lovely loud, so don't swear. The title is New Kids on the Block, when New Kids on the Block.

What did you think of title was? I said, a question answered. Absolutely no effort in'm asking a Jeffing please. I mean the third line was, we never say anything obscene was the third line. Right, okay sorry, yes it does. We never say anything obscene. Mark says I can't say but I can request one kind of, can I have the third one again please? Nice and...

He's supposed to be your friend, you know, that's anything you need. Can I just say, Liberties bro, that's what I'm saying. Shall I say it again, so you can think of it? Shall I call the scene, I can do that. If I take my hijab off, they'll all just cry. And then you can just quickly go and listen to the song again. We never talk trash. Our rhymes are clean. Our rhymes are never vague.

And we say nothing obscene. Alright. Chef! And the first one was, we never talked trash because we're on the clock. Ain't no good being an old kid when you're on our block. Okay. He's done your lot of papers there, Clarky.

Yes. Any idea? It's good. He's good as a game. I think it's three. Three sticking now. I three is I think it Three stick it out on it. Do you think it's three we never talk truth We never talk trash ain't that the truth You tell you kids on this block and we've got the proof

Would they say with the new kids on this block Well they've so clearly branded themselves slightly differently Sorry, when the new kids on that block To fuck you That truth is that the beef again. Yeah. Second album was a new block. Right, go on then.

What's it gonna be? I think so. Let's go for it, yeah. I think three, Perry. It's number three. Yay! Yay! How could it not be?

APPLAUSE It was number three, in fact, the lyrics continue. We never talk trash, but our rhymes are clean, our rhymes are never vague, we say nothing obscene. So when he's stuck or mc's, he'll want to battle us. Can you go at least 20 lines without a cuss? Oh, fuck it right. Yeah.

They were sending themselves on the fact that they were a very nice, nice, clean boy. So if you use your ever, quit playing games with my heart and tell us the score at the end of that round and please do it without a cut or fucksake. There would no point in that round. But, they've got it, they've got it in some point, surely. You've got it right, get points don't they? Oh, yeah.

We're, wishful thinking that you're going to stay at zero for the entire show. I'm not that stingy with the points. I am. No. Go on. So, Tom Muffatia. Two. Two points. Ben and Reese. Seven. Seven points. So and Reese. Seven. Seven points. So, from Mackey Boys to BVB Rose, it's B-Brothers! A problem, not calling a problem, it's here for the problem. Call it a B. If you're gonna be B, maybe we can help you

B for the sorting at your B's. Yes, it's B-Brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat share based beef and today's one comes from Matt Who is in the audience Matt are you there? Hi, yeah, hi Matt. How you doing? I'm good. Thanks. How are you? I'm very well You're just manners on the boy. Go on just matters Now Matt writes I am fun employed My girlfriend wakes up for work at 7.30. Rather than getting up silently, she insists on having a conversation with me every morning. That is the beat.

Ben and Riggs, you're on the side of Matt. What? Tom and Fatah hurt you on the side of the partner who gets up for a proper job. But before all of that, let's have a cross examination. Any questions, Matt, can I just ask, is your partner here?

Yeah, she's there. Oh great, fantastic. Are you willing to chat as well? I am. Oh, no she's willing to chat. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, we've started. Brian, come on, Brian, come on. Oh, thank you, Jarendra. Come on. What's your name, please?

Alice. Alice, okay, so you've got Alice and Matt. Any questions? We'll start with questions from Matt, and then we'll move over to Alice. OK, any questions? What is the chat, Alice? Well, it's a question from Matt.

Matt, what does Alice ask you? It's usually just about her dreams. Oh no! It's in the dream she had the night before, not hopes and dreams. I like a boyfriend who's got a proper job! What do you do, Matt? Do you just at home, are you working from home? What is it that you do, Matt? Do you actually, do you just, you just, how am I working from home? What is it that you do? I got, well I chose voluntary redundancy just before Christmas, so I've been fun employed for a few weeks. Is that what funny boy's move?

Didn't even know, okay. He's got money, so you need to leave him alone, alright? What did you do before that? What was your profession? I used to work for the University of London. Oh! I used to work for UCL, we'll chat after. Oh, yeah. So, have you got any jobs? No.

Do you have any pets? No, Alice has a cat. Why are you saying no, Alice has a cat, you mean it's a cat, we don't live together. Oh, why are you sleeping there? Why are you saying no, Alice has a cat, do you mean we don't live together? Oh, why are you sleeping there? Why are you squawking? She's coming over! Is this on Skype?

That mate. Simple as it is, you don't answer the call. So, when you spend nights at her, is that she's saying that she wakes you up? Yeah, or her or mine? Okay, so when you spend nights at each other's all right, got it? Do you have children? I'm just asking because I've got some single friends in it.

Now, I'm joking. No, can I have kids? No, no, you don't. No, no, no. I've always been living together. Yeah, they have a kid together, but a cat's separate. And when she does she call you so that she call you on the phone or is it voice notes? I do voice notes. It's in his face.

Oh yeah, sorry I forgot. When Alice wakes up at half seven, does she just wake up naturally or is there an alarm set? No, the alarm goes off. So do you wake up with the alarm? Weirdly I sleep through the alarm. Oh, I thought you were going for that. There's nothing like the sound of a partner's voice to cut through. Matt! How long?

Wow! Wow! This is right here. Wow! Any questions for Alice? Alice, what do you do? I'm a speech therapist. Matt! Why can't I be a coacher in a bit more like me.

I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. How long have you been together? About a year and a half, where do you live Alice? Do you live south east west north? Because I hate south, that's my mum. Not south, very much north, very much south. What about you, Matt? Do you live? I'm one- I'm one- I'm one- stood, so east.

That's- is it our foils south? Your cross-examination is like being on a French exchange. Do you have any pets? Where'd you live? How many brothers or sisters do you have? Where is the library? Yes, that's what I'm saying. This is all going to make sense, I promise. She's played 3D chess here, don't you know about that?

You watch, when I put it together you're going to fucking faint. I put it's you're gonna fucking faint. How good it's gonna be. First of all question for this, Matt. I think it's forwarding, Jess. All Jess is famously 3D. Great question. How do you now feel? Look at her. How do you now feel? I'm not really sure. Look, we know. Are you...

Question for Matt, are you married? No, we're not married. Well, question for Alice, are you married? No, I'm also not married. Right. Well, then you shouldn't be showing a beard, frankly. That's exactly the bait, it's everything. Was that for my benefit you prick? Really you don't think I look like a Mormon? Come on.

Those be the eyes. That's what we call judgment. What are the dreams like? Yeah, the dreams tend to be like that. It's not always about dreams, I just want to tell him you love him some more. It is not always about dreams. Is it sometimes like a list of things to do during the day? Yeah, it can be like, how are you going to do with your day? What kind of time do you think you're going to get up today?

Yeah. But you know, that's sort of lighthearted conversation. Do you not make him breakfast before you start talking to him? Absolutely not, no. So Matt, in an ideal world, in a sort of, what's going to say Alice's free will, but that's not the ideal world. You know what I mean?

In a situation where you're not being woken up, what time are you getting up ordinarily? If you were just woken up at the time you want to wake up, what time do you wake up? If I wasn't woken up, I'd probably wake up at about half-night. A junk? No, that's a lie. Yes, Alice. Yes, Alice.

Go on, Alice. I mean, on a good day, ten, but... It's only because he's catching up with his sleep Yeah, usually it's about 11 11 And do you work are you do you work every day? Monday to Friday, yes. Oh, I'll link. All right, I thought you had a job.

Okay. Clarke is famously putting in seven day weeks. He's been putting in a seven day year. Matt, I don't wish to sound like Alice, but are you actively looking for work? Erm, I am, yeah. Matt, I don't want to sound like Alice, but last night I had this dream. Like, what's going on?

I hope, for the opening, you've got to go on, you want to follow the question. What did you do in the evening before the sleep? Oh, Jesus, can't wait. Who? Stop, no, I mean, like you pervert. Does Alice go to bed first? Do you stir up a bit later? No, it depends. Usually we go to the bed at the same time. Oh, I can give you a stay up and read.

Nice. And Alice says, Do you read the job sections and newspaper? Or... What you want to do, mate, start reading out loud Okay, that should be a time I'd be enough one final question tommy It better be a really good one if it's if you have a b-day then So help me so help me go man! Right, that is enough information on what point of question.

Any... Yeah, you are a couple that are for the morning romance? No one expected it to be that intimate. That is a personal question. Because I know some couples do are cheaply for the morning romance. Now it should be not a seven-parts-y on a week, do they? No.

It's not a romantic time. No. I can't believe he accused this guy of the BDIs. BDI, BDIs. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Well, I'm looking at you and I can't disguise. LAUGHTER So, let's...

Let's actually start being brothers proper here. I think that should be hopefully enough information. So, without further ado, I call upon Reese James. You have a minute to begin the case for the prosecution and your minute starts now. Alex, you're a disgrace. Okay, no one gets a fuck about anyone's dreams in the world. Certainly not when they wake you up.

Okay, sure you're going off to do a lovely job all day and speech therapy, but you don't have to do it on max by trying to get him to speak back to you all the time. First thing in the morning, I don't know how this team are possibly gonna argue the opposite here. Okay, we haven't been a panel of comedians. All right, all of us, my defaults, have been through years of getting up late and probably been working out my partners have been angry about it. You are a fraud! Let me say otherwise, Perry, what happened to know that you are a fraud,

so you will be fine with it. Wow! If Matt had said that, you know, he's not looking for work and he's just slubbing around, then fair enough, I'd have been on Alice's side even though I'm contractually not allowed to be. I'm not allowed to be, no. Was there a contract? There's not a fee. Anyway. My match of time anyway, so... LAUGHTER Wait Alice because what I think happens is they probably have really good sex the night before and she blows his mind, don't it, along with other things, isn't it? And then, and then she has to wake him up to make sure he can still talk in the morning. Oh! Oh!

Oh! I know how it works, I've been married twice, okay? So that's why the other reason is that he's from one state and that's a rough part of London and so that if I haven't even together a year and a half he could be a fucking thief, innit? You've got to wake him up. You know what I'm saying? Be like, listen, I know where I've my lipstick break.

I don't think about touching that. You know what I'm saying? Be like, listen, I know where I have my lipstick break. LAUGHTER Don't think about touching that. So, um, that's my... I don't know if I've got 45 seconds. No, that's fine, that's it, that's lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. APPLAUSE So, I just say, Fatter's got her notes in front of her.

It's just two words and it says, sex speech. LAUGHTER Oh, we got the same notes! So, how do you think it's going so far, Matt and Alex? How do you think it's going? I think it's going well for me. Yeah, I'm pretty pleased with you. Okay, well, let's find out. Ben, you want to conclude the case for the prosecution.

You've got a minute starting now. It's very stressful being unemployed, you guys. LAUGHTER Particularly for an extended period of time. I myself have had to endure a lifetime of it, so... ...to date. So what I really want to endure a lifetime of it, so, to date. So what I really want to say tonight is, is that I've got to work?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not for this guy, for this guy. But seriously, Alice, you've got to give him some brain time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. him some brain time.

We have to process the night before and also if you and this is scientifically proven, if you tell someone else your dreams, they forget their dreams and dreams are way of processing the day and so it takes out what you were going to do with your day and puts in what they were going to do with their day and that's probably why he's so hopelessly unemployed. There we have it right. I think Clarke might have been playing 2D, cheers. Just the one, D. Fanny. Finally Tom, it's your turn to conclude the case 4 of the defence. Now, are you going to be doing it as yourself?

No, I'm going to be doing it in the style of a deep south, a John Grisham defence lawyer. Oh yeah? By By the name of the fan sure stand and fan sure stand and presiding and providing your minutes. Should you need it begins now? Why it is in gentleman after jury. I see a lot of confused faces out there. A lot of them their lawyers from the big city with their big words around here. We simple folk here, we don't know no chess. Game played by the French. Well, chess, so what am I going to call it? Round here, we pebble in the hole. We pebble in the hole, we stick on a shelf.

We go touch that? Yeah, I see the local champion of go touch that. There's an ASEA hands a Jeff. Three years on the bounce, ungo touch that. LAUGHTER Local games. Hell. None of that dare winner Olympics Look at the stone on that hard water Hey, listen to this story around here, that damn mad analysis around there,

Perry Lovebirds, you love to see it. Strong future in front of them. Put your mind over that story, you all heard that story, we tell it round about. The story of that farmer up there lives on the hill by the name of Sam. Sam there went to market one day and bought himself one of him prize roosters. He stood and went by the name of Jonathan. Put Jonathan out there on the side of his heel, far away from his farm, too far. Jonathan perished. Yep.

Too far in the other day, too far away from his farm. So I guess the more of that story is, you all got something that you love, weeks you up in the morning, don't put it out there on the hill. Keep it close. The defense rests, you all right? There is strong margin to my side, I say now. Now I can't make the decision myself, because I'm too cut up about poor old Jonathan, the price. The price, rooster.

Parish. So instead I call up on our live Phoenix audience to make it for us. If you think Reese and Ben and therefore Matt is in the right, I'd like to applaud now. Woo! Woo! But if you think Fatihur and Fan sure made the best case and therefore Alice is right, applaud now. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Oh! A man's side. Woo! Absolute man's side. Big thanks to Matt and Alice.

How do you feel about the decision? I'm Jubilant. Yeah. And Matt's going to hear about it tomorrow morning. Absolutely. Every morning for the foreseeable future. And now the end is near. And so we face the final curtain.

It's far too long, it's made in music, it's called The Quick Fire round jingle! CHEERING MUSIC This is The quick fire round It's the round that goes really quickly Which is why it's always quite amusing that it has a long introduction It's got a lot of introduction. When the round is really short, but here's the thing that's not the case this week. Cause we've just ordered a Chinese take away

And it's just arrived me You were sucking a Chinese It's not the door to do And we're both really hungry So enjoy the quick fire round the quick fire round. There it is. Yes, this is the big fire round. And as I show you all about curtains, I'm going to ask our players to pull things together.

I'm going to give two clues. So for example, something squirrels eat, what Santa carries his presence in. Pull both clues together to get the final answer, nut sack. That's how it works, okay? Instead of buzzers, I like to shout out your first names. Tom and Fatter. Tom.

Oh, Fatter. Sorry. That's all right, no, it's okay. Ben and Reese. I forgot. That's Ben and Reese. Reese. Really good.

Okay. Here we go. Pussers. Here we go. Here we go. Jumping on one foot in a type of whiskey. Tom. Tom. Hopscotch.

1,000 pounds and mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Chris. Yes. Grandmother. Absolutely right. Yeah.

And baby goat and asleep in the middle of the day. Tom. Kidnap. It's correct. What, when are the poo eats and something that comes out at night? Ben. Ben? Honey Badger. Tom.

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER It's a good answer. It's not the one I had on the couch, but it's a good answer. It's a better answer than Honeymoon, I'll say this one. I'm going to give you the point for that Clarke here, I love you. Oh, no, no, no, no. A pig and something you do with a flannel.

Oh, Tom. Tom. Hogwash. Hogwash is correct. A jog and checking how heavy something is. Tom. Tom, runway. Runway's gone. Tom. Tom. Run away. Run away. You're good at this man.

Love this. It's fun, but it's... No! It's good brain, you can do it. Yeah. Something you wash in, something you wash in. Breaks honey badger. It's a correct answer.

It's the correct answer. What you shaped a greets someone at the end of your shirt sleeves. Ben. Ben. Hans Leaf. Oh, I reached. Hancock. Hancock. Hancock is correct. Where you might find a P and what you do with a net. Tom. Tom.

Podcast. It's correct! CHEERING APPLAUSE So that is the end of the round and the end of the game. So before we find out the final scores, read some fatter, anything to plug, where can people find you?

Uh, no. Nope, okay, very enough. No. Okay. I'm back to our guest. That's all of you guys for watching. As always, check out our Patreon Patreon.com for us live to pop you to backshare this bloats of bonus stuff

over there. If you're a fan of the podcast and you want to give us a donation to keep the main feed free, it's a great way to do it. We get some cash, you get a weekly bonus episode, discounts on live shows, and a shout out on the pod eventually. I know some people have joined and we haven't done it, but we are, you know, we're in May of 2019, so we're going to get there eventually. Leave us for a few on iTunes or tweet something, or tweet recommending the podcast to all of your friends. So, produce a Emma. This is what we're excited about now.

What are the final scores? Fatta, just whispered to me, I think we're fine. If we don't, I just let you know my dad is at the door. So I'm just letting you fuck us and I rhyme now. Okay. How many points is he worth? Yeah. I'm a bit scared.

Okay, so the honey badges. Well, I'm a bit scared. Okay, so the honey badges have 11. Tom and Fattia have 8. So Tom and Fattia have to draw the curtains while Ben and Reece get to beat Piedemars, Paul O'Rillert, Curtin, Tw the smaller alert curtain switches on the other side start nude. Thanks to our guest Reece James and Pat Del Gori. We have Pat and Reece. See you next time on, flexes, now down. Happy, flexes, now big and happy,

but they won the top page. Especially best Pat Del Gori and Reece James. There's your vibes by Pat and it's a big walker. 10 years for Reece James and Pat and G, and we know who we're in savings. Here's my amg gorsher, pick back everybody going down to the Phoenix. All the one of the points, we'll get to the show and do our final one, this thing.

That was a nice, as you can wrap your bag up to the next season. Bye! CHEERING Well, there you go. What a delightful episode. What a delightful episode, yeah. And if you want to be involved in the delight that is coming to a live Flatsam record,

there's tonight at the Phoenix, that is the fifth of April, with Darren Harry and Amy Gledhill, and there are the two shows The Saturday and The Sunday at Maconcleath Comedy Festival in Wales. Get along to those shows, please. Otherwise, thanks for listening,

recommend us to your friends, join the Patreon, have a good time and we'll see you very soon. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye. Please be upstanding for today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll call Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop Oh, I, yes, yes, yes, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, when was the last time we were all in the same room, eh? It must have been a long time ago when I was eating a cucumber. That was it, wasn't it? Yeah. That's right, with my old friend Gary Juniper. Yeah. That's it.

Now, when was the last time we were all in the same room? It must have been, you know, I remember you were obviously munching away on a cucumber. I, I, I think I always play in a game of rounders with my dear friend, Bettina Soundbus. Well, well, well. I remember we were all in a room together and there were cucumbers everywhere, everyone wanted away, something for some and course, my good friend was there, Keifer Pearson.

Keifer. We were all there, the cucumbers, the game of rounders. What a day it was. We would make it to a pub called the Clarendon. Oh, God, it's a pub in Wolverhampton. And I was there with Lee Wolfenden. We weren't in that pub though. I mean, I remember it was two for one on cucumbers in the pub.

We all had a cute divorce. We did. And, uh, and, uh, you know what? Uh, I, I had a couple of bevy's. I certainly remember you had a, you had a couple of bevy's. Power. I think even Clarkie had a bevy. Oh, yeah. And they were all, they were all paid for by the very kind.

Mary and Levy. Oh, I remember, we were in the pub. She cumbers, bevy's the lot. You cumbers to the wind. We all started ordering pork scratchings, and sadly, they were a bit small. Oh, dear. I tell you, threw up,, Justin Chisdol. Oh, just.

Oh, we abandon the poor scratch-ins, so I ordered some scampi fries. These taste a bit better. Why don't you try some? I said to my cucumber-munching colleague, Dean Bryson. Oh, I remember that. I remember the look on his face as he chucked the cue cup to one side. I mean, honestly, he was grinning from here to here. I said, you know, if you're enjoying that, you should try some this. Hello, hello, hello me. Hello me. Hello me. Hello me.

I said, hello me. I said, hello you. And I said, hello me. I said hello you. And I said hello me. Do my aluminum, me-munching friends, Naomi. I'll tell you who else is there. Darryl Webster. Oh, Darryl Webster was the good lad. Hello you.

Well, I went to the toilet and people were watching me go. They dragged them and said, ogle me. Why don't you try looking at David ogle V? I love it. Oh, I remember that. You know, you spent so long at the urinal, it was absolutely brimming.

It really was. It was absolutely brimming. We had was, it was absolutely brimming. We had to get a plunger and plunge the lot out. And you know who held that plunger? I loved it by the head and screamed by the power of greyscal I have the power. It was of course, Laura Simmons. Yes.

Ah, it was absolutely seeds. I remember some taking photos. I was like, save this, Tom Davis. And he did. He always did. Of course he did. I did find the idea of taking pictures of toilet activities a little bit vulgar, which is why I had to remove the phone of the pervert Sarah Bulger. Oh, I remember, she was very upset that you removed her phone. In fact, she wrote her letter to the council and I was one of the council workers who had to read that those angry missives as was my dear co-worker, Conno Griffiths.

Well, all in all, thank god, to round up. The night was absolute heaven and I ended up going home with Aj Bevan. Oh, you know what? I think we're Aj or Aj we don't know listen father right before you went home with them Just only see you listen, I'm not gonna go home with you, but I'm only seeing they written down I mean I'm so glad you bought the name tag but still I had you I had you great time How can I help you so anyway all we've established is that it has been a long time since you're last in the same room and I'll tell you what let's leave it a long time it's a very good reason for a good reason today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll call Today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll calls.

Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh